#transmasc perspective

[letssendacountrysomecupcakes]

So I got dumped yesterday for saying I believe that transfemmes do experience male privilege pre-transition. My ex did not give me a chance to expand on that belief *at all*, just got triggered and decided I'm unsafe.

I'm going to expand those views here because I genuinely think I'm approaching the topic pretty reasonably and at this point I need to get the processing I've been doing written down.

First off, let me say that my opinion here comes EXCLUSIVELY from transfemmes I've talked to over the years as well as my own experiences with transmasc erasure. (My ex claimed that ALL of the transfemmes I know who've said that they've experienced male privilege only think that because of "internalized transmisogyny" while simultaneously refusing to engage with any of my experiences with erasure that are *specifically* things that happen bc of the learned behaviors inspired by the external factors of male privilege and socialization.)

The actual line that I have on this is that male privilege is an *external* force, not an internal one. It is entirely based in how you're perceived and how *others* interact with you based on that perception. It is based in the *societal and systematic* benefits someone receives based on the fuckin gender marker on your ID.

I absolutely do not think that that means transfemmes *interact* with male privilege in the same way as any c*s person, especially pre-transition. I do not think the *effects* of that privilege are the same and in almost every case it's going to be extremely complex and nuanced based on the individual. I *do* believe that, because that external force is applied *constantly* from a very young age, some aspects of that force can and often do come through even after transitioning.

Part of this being so upsetting for me is that it sounds like a rehashing of the "gendered socialization doesn't exist" argument that was going around here in like 2016 and is apparently resurfacing again. As far as I remember, when that argument stopped because the people who were pushing the conversation were outed as t*rfs who'd been posing as queer teens. The intent was to confuse the community and divide the younger and older trans folx.

The argument that gendered socialization doesn't exist (which, as far as I can tell, is the same argument as "transfemmes never experience male privilege) is laughably dichotomous at best and harmful at worst.

On the dichotomous end, we have someone who talks *frequently* about missing out on "being raised as a girl". If that person also does not believe in gendered socialization, they have the belief that they were also "not raised as a boy". Unless you come from a family or culture that has a third option or treats their kids the *exact* same (unlikely), you were fuckin raised in a way that was distinctly *gendered*.

That can transition to the harmful end *very* easily simply by not processing, analyzing, and questioning your learned behaviors. My ex spent the whole conversation calling me misogynistic and denying/devaluing my friends' experiences. She also very specifically made all of her points while simultaneously telling me I wasn't allowed to respond. At the point that I said, "Hey, I can't keep getting messages tangentially related to this when I'm not allowed to respond so I'm going to respond to a couple things, please keep your boundaries in any way that makes you feel safe", she immediately reengaged herself into the conversation fully, sent 3 messages - one of which was the dismissal of my friends' experiences, and blocked me.

I want to make it very clear that I put my responses under a break, specifically so she wouldn't have to read them immediately. I cannot be the one to enforce *her* boundary that *she* was repeatedly breaking. At the point that someone tells me they want a break from a conversation, I say okay and don't fucking respond until they do. I got two additional texts from her, both of which emphasized her points while continuing to disallow me from rejoining the conversation.

If that ain't the EXACT shit I've dealt with for my entire fucking life 🙄

[genderkoolaid]

Correcting the data feels ghoulish when we should just be free to grieve, but it matters. TMM records the number of murders using reports from a small number of organisations and individuals and news reports. No government or large agency records whether murder victims were trans. If only 350 trans people were murdered in 2023, that would be so shockingly low compared to the average global rate. The estimated annual global murder rate for all people is around 5.61 people per 100,000. If trans people were only murdered as often as cis people are, that would mean we'd expect around 4,500 murders per year (assuming we make up only 1% of the global population). When the total is off by an order of magnitude, how can we trust the percentage stated to be sex workers?

— When We’re Not Murdered: The Dangers of Deviance by Jack Parker

[autosadist]

im so tired of transmasc arya stark im more compelled by the idea that she's a little trans girl and eddard stark is like "that's cool, you have to be girly and sew like your sister and mom though" and she's like "i still want to eat worms and kill people with swords, actually" and he's like fuckk ok whatever heres a faggy italian man to teach you all that shit, hope he doesnt die heroically offscreen. grrm would never abide this but everyone could just let me be correct for once

[ablondpanda]

Semi-regular reminder that if you're transfem (like myself) you still have much more in common with transmasc people than there are differences between you. Transphobia, misogyny and patriarchy intersect with one another and other bigotries in somewhat different but not opposite, nor exclusive ways for each of you.

Division is death and transphobes use it against us wherever they can. We either work to make this world better for all trans people or we fail to meaningfully improve it for any of us.

Put simply, trans men and transmasculine people are our allies and we need to be theirs too.

[transmultiphobia-discussion]

transandrophobes will be like 'oh so youre suddenly a woman when its convenient' if you talk about experiencing misogyny as a (pre everything) transmasc. first of all you dont need to be a woman to experience misogyny but yes im literally a man and a woman god whats so hard to understand about that

I don't know what's up with online communities suddenly being Not Super Normal about transmasculine people, but ideas being spread around about transmascs not experiencing misogyny/having male privilege entirely leaves out multigender individuals. it's just another binary of men vs women (or "men and non-men")

[pianokantzart]

"Do you really see this effeminate male character as FTM? Or are you just looking at them through a sexist/transphobic lens?"

Listen, there's a lot of pressure to conform to your gender even if you're cis, but that goes double for trans people. Headcanoning a sensitive and effeminate guy as FTM is nice because here's someone who can identify as a man while not feeling any pressure to put on a performance to prove that he's "really a man," y'know?

Sometimes it's about seeing a guy who is completely and fully a guy and uses he/him pronouns and is confident in his masculinity while also being emotional and effeminate and liking dresses and whatnot.

[the-minster]

Lately I've seen a number of posts written by people who are frustrated by the expression of Jason Todd being female coded. And I feel like there's some misunderstandings here.

Honestly I'm assuming the anger about binary gender codings like "jason todd is female coded" is coming from people who are also queer. And I can see why people would feel frustrated by the simplification and what seems like unnecessary gendering of trauma. Hell, maybe it's even invalidating to your gender and your trauma. That's fair.

Personally I believe gender is a social construct. No emotion or situation belongs to any one gender. However. As a trans person. I've had to confront that my reality is shaped by the binary gender I am assigned. While I reject being "female coded", the situations I've been in and the trauma I've gone through has been severely influenced by being AFAB. Social constructs do shape our reality.

Me and my cis brother grew up with the same parents. But I faced more physical abuse from my father and higher expectations from my mother. He got an autism diagnosis and arguably faced and internalized ableism his whole life, I got told I make too much eyecontact to be autistic. Both of our lives and hardships have been shaped by the gender we were assigned.

To me the expression "jason todd is female coded" means that every attempt Jason has made to express his pain has been met by people trying to have a philosophical argument about the nature of man and second chances and justice like they are not literally talking to his reanimated body. That kind of blatant disregard of your pain and tonedeaf request to be reasonable, that pressure to return to the rules of your father and the rules of a patriarchal society despite how living under those systems put you in harm's way in the first place, the lack of concern about your feelings of safety. I think that's an experience you are thrust into when it gets decided for you that you're female. And personally, I use Jason Todd being female-coded as a way for me to reclaim my trauma while recognizing it doesn't affect my gender. Jason is a guy. I'm a guy.

[humdrumvillain]

I need to be sedated to stop picking fights with cishet men about JayVik shit

Platonic JayVik & Romantic JayVik can both exist! It's personal preference motherfukers

Just because one co-director said "uM aCtUaLlY tHeYrE jUsT fRiEnDs" AFTER THE FACT doesn't means anything! It doesn't! Once a media is out into the world people can interprate whatever the hell they want!

At the end of the day they're 2D blorbos and sometimes just SOMETIMES people want them to kiss

[letssendacountrysomecupcakes]

yeah youre just a transmisogynist

That's not an argument. Go fuck yourself.

I'm more than willing to try and understand other perspectives and open to the potential of changing my mind. If all you can come up with is name calling it really shows more about you than me 😘

[transmascxielian]

genuinely this big vintage leather jacket i got as a gift was like a +100 power to my gender presentation like. more than anything else. it’s waterproof it’s big the cut and the nature of leather means that it broadens your shoulders, it’s stiff and boxy, it doesn’t even highlight my boobs much when i do the buttons up. but even above those things it is COOL. it’s a nice slightly battered cherry brown leather jacket and it’s stylish and has a Look to it even just with jeans and a hoodie. i love it so muchhhh i love you leather i love you clothing that lasts for decades

[monprecieuxx]

just finished ep1 of smells like green spirit and besides not only being a painfully realistic depiction of queer youth i do find it fascinating how mashima's gender non-conformity (idk if they are trans, haven't read the manga so im not labelling as such) is perceived; internally and externally.

in their mind (the teacher they have a crush on reciprocating, adoring them) vs. how they get treated irl (the drivers, the harassment that comes with presenting femme)

this disconnect of feeling secure in your own skin and society deeming it a pass to cross boundaries

[mitamicah]

It's tattoo day!!

Drew a little vintage!transmasc Käärijä for the occassion :3 (the flag he is holding is the tattoo I am planning to get btw x'D)

[jamesmirandabarry]

Listen radblr,

I agree with you that people who were born female have certain oppressions they face because of their anatomy. I share many patriarchal oppressions with you when it comes to my body.

That being said, I am socially a man and will never be seen as a woman in society. If you saw me in public, you would not think I was female. I present myself as a man and live as one day to day, because this is what feels right and happy to me. Because of this, I don’t share some of the social oppressions that women face and I would not enter social spaces for only women because that is not how I am read— even though I am female, women would be uncomfortable if I entered their space because I look like a man.

I wish more of you could reconcile that instead of resorting to “women are adult human females and all adult human females are women,” when it’s a bit more complicated than that. Speaking from experience, I can tell you there’s a grand difference between the social category of sex and the anatomical one.

[cruelseraph-art]

newsprint #2

[rivetgoth]

I’m a huge proponent for anyone should have access to whatever tools they need to do whatever they want to their body etc but ngl it makes me sad seeing the number of AFAB transes who speak of taking testosterone as this almost like, unfortunate thing you gotta endure to get a set list of Desired Changes, or this sorta like, thing you gotta compromise on, with this whole list of negative effects that you gotta risk if you want the positives or whatever, and just constant posts that are functionally like “how long do I have to be on T until I can stop?” or “I want XYZ changes from T but I don’t want ABC changes,” and like it just frustrates me because to be frank I love testosterone. I love everything about being on it and I consider it a miracle that modern medicine has made it possible to access this hormone exogenously if we can’t produce enough of it ourselves. I feel like fundamentally my lack of proper T levels had a negative impact on me until it was corrected and I don’t feel like I was truly myself until I began HRT. Literally the only negative thing about it at all is the frustration that I’m dependent on an outside source for the rest of my life rather than able to just make it myself but there’s no doubt in my mind that I want to be on it for the rest of my life. While maybe a bit pedantic I don’t view T as having side effects, I don’t even necessarily view it as a medication in the traditional sense, it’s just an artificial way for me to correct my body to the state it already should’ve been in. I was overcome by relief after taking my very first dose when I was seeing 0 changes and even as the initial excitement has naturally died down over the years that relief is something I never take for granted. If I could keep every change T has given me and stop taking it I still wouldn’t because beneath all the desire for the changes there is an innate desire to just be on testosterone. I just idk dude I wish that HRT at least within the FTM / transmasc community was viewed with more reverence and the perspectives of those who view it as genuinely a life saving and necessary resource were given a little more voice. I think the entire idea of hormonal dysphoria and the need to alleviate it by correcting one’s hormone production separate from the laundry list of the possible more visible changes and side effects and what’s desired or not or what’s permanent or not etc etc of HRT is seen as weirdly archaic in lots of mainstream FTM spaces and it’s a bit frustrating and isolating.

[snobgoblin]

sometimes I'm like "am I egotistical for wanting to push for transmasc rep and positive masculinity in fiction. am i egotistical for trying to push for more masculine representation in things like fairies. am i egotistical for having so many transmasc characters" but then I'm like well everyone's gotta contribute something right and if I don't do anything about these feelings I guess nobody fucking will so it HAS to be me or someone like me that cares. egotistical or not