#trans mental health

[chrystalmedeir3]

I can be yours forever, just tell me when to start..💞

[gor3sigil]

I’m Trans and Insane and I’m doing fine.

[TW Psychosis, transphobia, psychophobia, medication, psych ward]

“Are you sure ?” she asked.

I remember looking back at her in disbelief, because that was certainly a question I never asked her when she came out.

“Why do you ask ?” I say.

“Dude, I’ve seen you go into depersonalization so hard you even thought you were a human soul in a robot vessel and now, you want me to trust you when you say that you, too, are trans ?”

That’s the memory that comes back to me as I fold and put in my bag my psychiatrist’s note attesting that I suffer from gender dysphoria, NOT LINKED to any psychotic symptoms. Here it goes in my folder with my prescription note, an increase - again - of my anti depressants and Xan, and my endocrinologist’s HRT prescription, increased too - finally.

I go to two separate pharmacies to pick up each prescription for two reasons:

There is only one in this godforsaken town that always had testosterone in stock.

I can’t explain to you with words the look you can get when you give back to back, to someone who, despite not being a doctor, works in healthcare, a note for trans HRT and then a note for psychiatric meds.

And I’m lucky, because I’m not taking antipsychotics anymore. Contrarily to what you could think, it doesn’t magically makes the voices and the shadowy people disappear, but it can make a mess of your head pretty bad and my doctor and I both agreed that I didn’t need more damage up here than what I already had. And no, it doesn’t make your delusions vanish magically too: in fact, I was still pretty certain that I was talking to my soul family out here in Argentine telepathically about my mission on Earth, the meds just made it more difficult to understand their voices, but the belief was still solid.

Anyways, I’m back home with the Hoy Grail I fought tooth and nails to get: a letter from the Sacred Council of Mental Sanity also known as Psychiatry that I was, indeed, a bit delulu, but also trans, and that both things didn’t play into each other. My transness wasn’t a delusion, my delusions didn’t have anything to do with being trans.

Or did it ?

Chicken or egg, you know the drill. Did I have my selves fractured before and one of the piece that shattered my brain happened to make me trans or was I just trans with a shitload of traumas in the back that made me insane ?

But don’t worry, at least, trans people when we’re together, we have each other’s back ! Right ?

“Transidentity ISN’T a mental illness !! We don’t DESERVE to be FORCIBLY LOCKED UP and MEDICATED and MADE TO CONFORM FOR OTHER’S SENSE OF SECURITY !!”

Neither do I, RIGHT ?

Oh

Or do I ?

Remember what she said, my girlfriend, right at the beginning ?

How I can’t be trusted about myself when sometimes I don’t even have a sense of self anymore or I have too much selves who fight against each other ?

And what do we say to that ?

Get treatment. Get in-patient. Take medication. And for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it, you’re giving us a bad name.

Because being trans and crazy can’t exist. It’s absurd. You have to fix one of these two things. Choose which jacket I’ll wear, and they call it a straitjacket for a reason it seems, so am I queer or am I insane ?

All I know today is there isn’t a universe in which I’m a trans without any mental illnesses, or mentally ill without being trans. And yet, I can’t tell you how many time I got asked “do you think you’d be trans if you never got through [x trauma] ?”. I. Don’t. Know. I’ll never know. And I deserve just as much agency as you get despite being mentally ill. If you don’t believe in that, don’t come yapping about “liberation for all of us”, but “if one of us is crazy they’ll all think I am too and that can’t happen”.

No LGBTQIAA+ person deserves to be told they need to be put away, to be cured, to be allowed out in the open only if they’re deemed “acceptable” by society’s standards. And no mentally ill people deserve to either.

No trans person should be going through years of counseling to have the access to HRT.

And I shouldn’t have had to threaten my own mother’s life to avoid being locked in an adult psych ward at 14.

If you ever think, for one second, that these two things have nothing to do with one another, you are far removed from history.

To hear queer people say “yeah but some mentally ill people are dangerous !” feels like you don’t even know where you come from.

And if I want to say, that me being trans is linked to me being mentally ill, or at least, that both are connected in a way, all hell breaks fucking loose.

So I’ll explain very carefully.

See, when I was young, my mind got shattered into a thousand of pieces I had to try to glue back on. All these pieces of myself broke further more down the line because I couldn’t catch a fucking break. And now, it happens that the final puzzle does not have the same face it had before. It happens that its shape changed over time, for reasons over the control of all of us who tried to build ourselves back. Now there’s a bigger picture, less pieces, a few other shadows, and me. Built from the shatters. With my own needs and afflictions.

And whoever you are, whatever your agenda might be, I will not let anyone take any agency away from me under the false pretext that I can’t know anything for myself. They say that about children, they say that about minorities, about physically disabled people, about the people they want OUT. And my trans siblings, you know that.

I came out for the first time 7 years ago, to my then girlfriend, who was the one asking the question that is the first sentence of this text. I came out a second time 3 years ago. Been on HRT, had top surgery, had psychotic breaks, got my meds changed, switch therapist.

Because I am trans and crazy. And yet, all these choices I made, I made myself. It didn’t have to be that hard to get the basic care I needed. It didn’t need to be. But it WAS. And I’m part of the lucky crowd of people who had access to out-patient treatment, who never have been locked up in ward, who managed to stay alive through meds withdrawals without medical assistance when I had no therapist.

Be very careful of when you start to put conditions on the rights you think you deserve. Be very, very careful about your definition of sanity and of how it warps the way you see people. When you start to say “I have access to that, but there’s people like X or Y who shouldn’t BECAUSE”, pause and ask yourself what led you to think this way. More often than not, you’ll find yourself playing the same mind games as the ones you swore to fight against, and when it gives them the upper hand, they won’t hesitate to come for you after that.

[ponybunyy]

Do you think I am hot enough to be your trans girl?

[carriejenkinsstar]

Heyyyyyy. 😚

[frostralia]

I am not yours or anybodys to define. I am mine to define. 💙🩷🤍🩷💙

[vaspider]

Thankfully Tumblr seems to have eaten the ask so I can't post it, but I got an ask from @mewthoughtcrime asking me to reblog a post which is a repost of an essay called "The New Thoughtcrime."

@ohara-n-brown wrote a pretty good explanation of why I will not be touching that hot garbage with a ten foot pole.

@mewthoughtcrime (who I have since blocked) is tagging these posts with a bunch of trans-related tags, so if you don't want to see a bunch of "what you are is fake and your community is a cult" all up in those tags, might be easier just to block them. The post is disingenuous about its purpose as a "resource" post - the essay is a rehash of Irreversible Damage and nobody needs that nonsense.

[allthegeopolitics]

Three per cent of high-school students in the US now identify as transgender, according to the latest research.  The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) first nationally representative survey about transgender students revealed that 3.3 per cent of high-school pupils identified as trans last year while 2.2 per cent were questioning if they were transgender.  The study also highlighted health disparities faced by trans students, with almost 26 per cent reporting that they had attempted suicide in the past year. Just five per cent of cisgender male and 11 per cent of cisgender female students had tried to take their own life.

Continue Reading

[hjellacott]

Debunking the myth that Trans people are more likely to commit suicide.

What people read: The suicide attempt rate among transgender persons ranges from 32% to 50% across the countries. Gender-based victimization, discrimination, bullying, violence, being rejected by the family, friends, and community; harassment by intimate partner, family members, police and public; discrimination and ill treatment at health-care system are the major risk factors that influence the suicidal behavior among transgender persons. Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5178031/#:~:text=The%20suicide%20attempt%20rate%20among,to%2050%25%20across%20the%20countries.

What it actually means, if you know how to read research papers (I studied psychology):

Out of the TRANSGENDER population SURVEYED across a CERTAIN number of countries, 32% to 50% OF THE PARTICIPANTS IN THE STUDY had, at some point, attempted to commit suicide or thought about it.

Or this:

Again, what this actually means is that one university in one country did one study, in which, of however many people participated (which could be anywhere from a few dozen people to more), 42% of participants SAID they had attempted suicide, and 56% SAID they had engaged in non-suicidal self-injury (the definition of which depends on what the researchers consider to be self-injury) over their lifetimes.

Also look at this:

I'll translate:

Nearly 1/3 of the TRANS participants in this specific studies self-reported (meaning the researcher trusted what they said, but didn't observe for themselves) hazardous drinking (again, what do they consider "hazardous" drinking?) or problematic drug use (again, what would that be exactly?).

82% OF THE TRANS PARTICIPANTS have accessed formal mental health care compared to 47% of the cisgender participants. More trans people have also sought other types of support. This DOES NOT MEAN that trans people have more mental health issues, as they want you to think, only that they were more likely to access mental health services. It could be because there's more encouragement for trans people to go to therapy, because of stigmas surrounding therapy, because of economic situation, country policies (many countries won't let you transition unless you're seeing a therapist for example) and so on.

Saying anything like "transgender non-binary vs transgender women" is ridiculous, because if you don't specify biological sex, it's useless. It doesn't consider hormonal fluctuations in biological men vs women, hormonal treatments, and so on. It doesn't take much into account. Also, the paper would've had to specify what they defined as transgender non-binary or trans women, with this article doesn't do.

More of the same. A statement constructed to generate a sense of panic and emergency, which doesn't specify for example how many trans men or trans non binary people participated in the study, nor how the calculations had been made, they don't even say how was the self-reporting made (studies show that people are more likely to exaggerate or be dishonest if they have to self-report in a questionnaire, for example, than in a face-to-face interview where the researcher draws their own conclusions), nor dive into whether some types of people might be more likely to talk about private parts of their lives than others. If your study is based on self-reports, then you've got to trust the participants will tell you everything honestly and without exaggerating nor leaving anything unsaid, which is very often not what happens. If it's based on say interviews, you're writing people's answers trusting that, again, they're being fully open and honest, and inferring your own conclusions with your own biases, which again isn't perfect either.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT THE RATES OF TRANS SUICIDE AREN'T HIGH. But I am merely trying to show you, through some easy examples, just how untrustworthy many of these reports, specially articles that attempt to "simplify" more complex scientific research and leave a ton out, can be. Showing you what questions you can ask yourself while reading, the importance of not omitting so much, of the details, and showing you how easily statistics get manipulated.

If for example I say trans people are more likely to go to therapy than non-trans people, it doesn't mean trans people have more health problems, just that they access therapy more. It also doesn't mean that trans people really are more likely to go to therapy, just that out of the people I asked, there was a bigger tendency among trans participants to ADMIT to have gone to therapy.

And even when you consider affirmations such as for example say, "transgender people have more mental health problems" consider what this actually means. It doesn't necessarily mean that the world treats trans people so bad their mental health problems sky-ricochet. It means that many of the people with mental health problems identify as transgender at some point of their lives. Just like many murderers happen to be schizophrenic, but most schizophrenics aren't murderers, you see what I mean? So is it being trans that causes mental health problems? or is it that having mental health problems makes you more likely to identify as trans? or a bit of both? Could it be, for example, that hormonal treatments really mess with people's heads? Because many studies say that's the case. Or when one reads things like "trans people are more likely to commit suicide", what this actually says is, trans people are more likely to say they'll kill themselves, threaten to, or hurt themselves to scare you into thinking they'll kill themselves. There are a billion reasons one might commit suicide, and in most cases, suicidal people don't give any warning, as a matter of fact. Very often when psychologists talk to families of people who committed suicide, they had NO CLUE their loved one was so bad, because suicidal people tend to seem the happiest, until they're alone. Also stop to think, how many people who happen to identify as trans committed suicide for private reasons that may have nothing to do with being trans, but afterwards their suicide is said to be, by people who don't actually know the truth, to be because they were trans?

Based on the current studies going on, it is highly probable that transgender people have so many health problems because you have to have mental health issues to identify as trans. You have to suffer body dysmorphia, for example, and frequently these people have suffered sexual abuse in childhood, so you can imagine that comes with many mental health problems. What is fairly less common is for someone perfectly mentally healthy to identify as trans. And once people identify as trans, the hormonal treatments and the sex surgeries DEFINITELY have a massive impact on mental health, because hormones control your emotions and feelings, and when they get dysregulated, it's very common to feel deep depression, anxiety and other negative emotions which can in extreme cases lead to self-harm and suicide. So put it this way, among trans people who do commit suicide, it is far less likely to happen because you misgendered them, and more likely to happen because of a combination of many factors which have nothing to do with you:

Medicines they might be on.

Drug/alcohol use.

Traumas preceding identifying as trans.

Body image issues preceding identifying as trans.

Other mental health issues that also preceded identifying as trans, such as anxiety, depression or PTSD.

Disability (many trans people report being physically or mentally disabled in some shape or form).

Economic problems (transitioning can be incredibly expensive in some countries, and also mental health problems often mean trans people cannot hold onto a job).

Social problems (because lots of people who identify as transgender were previously diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder or other social difficulties, making them less likely to have a thick, loving support group of good friends and family, and more isolated and vulnerable).

All of this is why I always insist that the main thing to consider with transgender individuals is that the vast majority of them are, first and foremost, individuals with a lot of pre-existing mental health problems that are actually not caused by being trans, but can worsen by transitioning treatments. That's why I always recommend that anyone who feels they might be trans first attends lots of therapy, running away from any therapist that jumps to "oh yeah that's 'cause you're trans" as an explanation to all your problems, because they're shaddy AF. Sort yourself out, get treated for your bigger problems, find a treatment that works, and afterwards, if you still want to be trans, then you will be far more likely to be able to go through all the treatments without your mental health utterly collapsing, and will manage much better results.

ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS THE BEST IT CAN BE BEFORE TAKING ANY DRUGS THAT AFFECT YOUR HORMONES.

[twin-flames-isaiah-and-sage]

If you feel overwhelmed about the results of the US presidential election, it's okay. Just know that there is a way to feel better and to improve your life permanently while doing so. If you do the inner work that you need to do to heal yourself of what's bothering you, you will see results. 💖

#elections2024#transmentalhealth#transgender#lgbtqia#lgbtqmentalhealth

[pinkpetalbee]

[yourfourthgradepetrock]

"But then I won't have anyone to watch the pink opaque with."

She says she's leaving

she's been sick for a while

she has been suffocating

and she is strong enough to weld and wield a shovel

and dig out of her own grave

and they will cut their hair

and change their name

and they will be free

But he is not ready

he needs the dirt, you see, because

the fresh air is far too revealing

And it is easier to hate your life

if it means the world will hate you

a little less

he is another kid

in mid-south-west-nowhere, US

who will write goodbyes

in tandem with acceptance speeches

who will be buried in an ill-fitting suit

and she will have a false name on her headstone

under six thick feet of dirt

packed tight to keep the pink from showing

to keep her soul from glowing

the people at her funeral will mourn someone they did not know

But at least they will attend

And the liquid that lands on her coffin

will be tears

instead of spittle

It is easier that way, she swore

Because she was left behind

with no one to watch the TV glow with

[gor3sigil]

I wanted to remind you something that I myself struggle with: sometimes, living is enough.

I know that as trans people we always feel the need to produce things. Art, music, reading material, anything to show that we're existed, we're here. But, you ARE here. You don't need to prove it, you don't need to theorise your existence nor justify it. It doesn't have to make sense of have a grand purpose.

And no, you won't be forgotten. People notice you. The clerks from the store you shop in every weekend ? They think about you around the time you usually come in and will be surprise, maybe concerned if you don't show up. The neighbour you have a little chat with on your way to work ? They know about you. There's a little community of people that know about you and remember you even if you don't have a close-knit relationship. These little things matter, trust me.

Having ambitions is fantastic, but if for today, tomorrow or more the best you can do is live, wake up everyday and do what you can, then it's enough and I'm proud of you for going this far.

[nanogono]

As a transman, I am BOYCOTTING this coming PRIDE

a few days ago, I watched a screening of a soon-to-be-released Pride documentary - it didn't include a single transman speaker out of over 30 interviews. This was a nail in the coffin moment for me. I am tired of being erased in every queer space I go that's suppose to be "for me" or at least include people like me. Done. I'm fucking done. If the queer community isn't going to uplift trans men (especially 'male-perceived' trans people for that matter), then it's not safe for trans men to be a part of it.

And, no, I don't mean just Corporate Pride (the issue is in our communities as well [at least in NYC where I live- but I've noticed it in other places, too] I am not going to be attending any Pride events this year. If you are a transman who knows what I'm talking about and is tired as fuck, too, I urge you to do the same If you are an ally to the trans community or a woman-passing trans person [i'm including afabs here] (or if you're a butch tw that feels up to it), I encourage you to make signs for marches or events where signs are appropriate that say: "Where are the Trans Men?" "Trans Men Exist" or if you like to argue, the ever so unpopular: "Tran's Rights are Men's Rights, Too" or really any slogan you think might pressure the world and our communities to be there, support, and make visible trans men. I've come to the sad realization that I can no longer survive in queer spaces if I am constantly being erased. Please, allies and those with some spotlight, this Pride start asking events, talks, performances, rallies, shows, concerts, floats, panels, etc: "Where are the trans men?"

[carriejenkinsstar]

I had a dream about a hot tub last night. 🛁

[frostralia]

I am not a thing up for debate. I'm Frost Nicoletti. I am a brave, brilliant, and beautiful woman.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Hey guys, still running around like a headless chicken to get all my shit done and don't have time to properly address my inbox, but I did have a brief chat with a follower who is in need of resources I don't know of. This individual is transmasc and is also concerned about another transmasc person in their life in regards to body image and eating struggles. This individual has looked into ED-specific spaces and can only find recovery spaces for girls.

Does anyone know of support groups that promote healthy body image for men, or groups for trans people who struggle with their bodies due to dysphoria? Feel free to reblog or drop a reply in the comments, or shoot me a message on anon if you know of any resources.