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feralaot · 4 years

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random scouts hcs!

I did a post like this for the warriors my beloved (here) and people seemed to like it so here's one for the scouts :) had some input from @afrival for this one luv u

no warnings I think

eren

if he had twitter he would have a vaporwave bart simpson profile picture and tweet lil peep lyrics. also uses way too many hashtags

he's scared of snakes and hates armin's ball python

his eyes are probably crusty as hell and mikasa has to wipe em for him because he won't

when he's losing an argument he goes "ooh you wanna kiss me so bad" and it always escalates things but he doesn't stop

almost exclusively wears american eagle

"what's a pronoun".mp3

uses the 💯 emoji in every other text message he sends

armin

sends his friends pictures of cats cuddling/hanging out and says "me n you <3"

genuinely can't stand when people have dirt under their fingernails. he gets so mad at eren bc his nails are dirty asf and armin forces him to clean them

he calls himself sexy a lot (e.g. "that was really sexy of me")

chews on bottle caps then is like hmm why do my teeth hurt

he hates feet. toes look weird to him. nobody in his house is allowed to take their socks off

unironically uses faces like ^-^ and :3

acne :(

mikasa

she's really bad at giving advice. don't go to her for help she'll literally be like "that's tough"

probably has like 4 instagram accounts made just to follow eren

solid black profile picture and no bio

maybe now and then she'll put a my chemical romance quote on her story but that's about it, she doesn't respond to dms or anything

doesn't wash that damn scarf so it's probably stinky

sticks staples, pins, etc through the tips of her fingers for no reason other than she likes freaking people out

probably hisses at people

jean

the only possible relationship dynamic somebody can have with him is rivals to lovers

very short social fuse and has to stay home for several days after public events bc it's just exhausting

he's an introvert adopted by extroverts (connie and sasha) and has to deal with their shenanigans. truly the mom figure between the three of them

marco has to listen to him ranting about connie and sasha's foolery and doesn't have much advice to offer bc he doesn't know either

for a long time he only knew "straight" and "gay" and when he found out about the concept of bisexuality his mind almost imploded

he sighs and yawns a lot and doesn't even realize he does it. people always think he's either annoyed or tired

probably dresses like a diet e-boy. crewneck king

connie

the kind of kid in your high school gym class that wears mismatching neon clothes. bonus points if it's nike

also the most likely to start a food fight for funsies

he doesn't yell often because his voice cracks when he does and it's embarrassing

sasha and him hate cafeteria food so he always brings an ungodly amount of food in his backpack instead to share with sasha. connie's backpack is 90% food

unironically says things like "pogchamp" and "rad"

he works at zumiez and probably lives there. always rocking their latest drip

jumps up and slaps exit signs

sasha

randomly breaks into song (usually disney songs) and connie will automatically duet

manages to fall asleep in any situation. on buses, while watching movies, sometimes even mid conversation if she's zoned out enough

tried to take armin fishing one time but he almost cried because he felt so bad about it

at least reiner will fish with her though. the himbos always come through

her instagram is all pictures of fish she caught and now and then there's an awkward candid pic of niccolo

stayed overnight in a walmart one time and got away and brags about it but she won't admit it was an accident. panicked and spent the night eating snacks off the shelves to "survive"

while she's talking her voice slowly gets louder and louder and she doesn't realize it until people tell her to stop yelling

historia

pulls people by the ears to bring them down to her level

also kicks people in the shins a lot, if she's arguing with someone they'll usually keep their distance to avoid getting shin kicked

loves climbing on ymir's back and just being carried around like the little creature she is

posts inspirational quotes on her story

would definitely be a cheerleader in high school. nobody would guess a prep like her is dating some grunge girl w a pretty much opposite personality

she always has bandaids with her for some reason. if someone gets scraped she'll whip out a bandaid immediately. her friends call her "mom" sometimes

hates grilled cheese so god damn much. can't stand it

ymir

"damn I don't remember asking".mp3

is always the first one to comment on historia's instagram posts. her comments range from "beautiful my queen!!!" to "damn ma yo ass fat"

she always called reiner gay as a joke then he came out as gay and for a while she thought it was her fault

her and reiner have wlw and mlm solidarity, they're bffs for that matter

if someone tells her that her music is too loud she'll say "huh?" and turn it up

similarly if someone scolds her for something she'll go "hm? repeat that, I'm a little deaf in this ear"

"bro stfu you always tell me you're gonna fire me for being late"

levi

really really hates cooking pasta because straining the water is for some reason more difficult than it should be

"do not underestimate me, bitches"

always refuses to get his hair cut at places in shopping centers. especially walmart great clips

makes monkey noises when he sees something he likes. he started doing this as a joke to mock zeke but it evolved and now he can't stop doing it randomly

will not hesitate to knock someone on their ass if they're talking shit

coffee makes him jittery so he drinks tea instead but won't admit to anyone that he lowkey also has a redbull addiction

hange calls him a catboy but he doesn't know what that means so he's always like "yeah" bc he thinks it means he's a cat person

hange

buys levi shoes from the kids section and doesnt tell him bc he likes them anyway

such a millennial, they say shit like "doggo" and "adulting"

"for practical reasons I don't exist. do not perceive me"

probably wants to marry mothman

levi has had to scold them on several different occasions for bringing live animals into the house

legally isn't allowed to cook bc they can and they will blow something up

goes on tipsy rants almost nightly

erwin

white skechers king

hosts barbecues in those white skechers. he talks shit about people with nile and pyxis like a bunch of gossiping middle aged fath- wait

his profile pictures on social media are probably pictures of himself taken from awkward angles with an empty expression. it's always posted like six times as well

when levi is getting Out Of Hand he'll pick him up from under the arms and carry him away like "okay, that's enough" and levi kicks around but can't escape

rubs his hands together a lot like a fly. nobody knows why he does it. what are you scheming

falls asleep on couches while watching sports games

[swinging his keys around his finger] "let's rock and roll"

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seththemusehub · 3 years

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ay y'all I got a stupid request.

I have a project I'm starting for like the fourth goddamn time. this is a project I have been working on off-and-on since like...the late 90s, early 00s. it is a massive goddamn farming game akin to Stardew Valley and Rune Factory, except not on a 'this is a village and everything you do is in and around this village' scale, on a 'you start on a farm and can literally walk around the planet except for the parts where there is ocean there you gotta take a boat' type of scale.

I need a name for the damn thing. I had one at one point, but it has been long enough that my brain has just fucking flung it out the goddamn window. my brain is unhelpful. the only ideas I have had thus far, and I quote:

Seth — Today at 4:08 PM anybody want to help me figure out what the fuck to name my game [4:08 PM] besides Farming McFuckingHugelarge [4:09 PM] I don't think that's a very catchy name that will make parents want to buy it for their kids seththemuse — Today at 4:12 PM what about 'that big farming game' [4:12 PM]vague and yet to the point

for reference, I'm gonna put a (pretty long) idea of what kind of crap I'm gonna cram into this thing so you can see the stupid amount of work I'm gonna put myself through, because having an idea of the massive plan list seems prudent.

there are different races ranging from elves and dwarves to harpies and fairies and pixies. there are heinous amounts of monsters, plants to grow, creatures to raise and collect stuff from, stuff to hunt, an absolutely ridiculous amount of weapons to choose from (and tiers for each different weapon type), materials to mine, tree varieties to cut down, places to explore, magic and potion crafting to learn, accessories to buy and make. there are stupid amounts of NPCs to interact with, a majority of which you can romance regardless of what setup you got going on downstairs, though some of em might be a little weird about it if you decide you wanna be with a partner that is the size of your hand. or the other way around, y'know.

got plans for a massive cooking system that you can add magic and potions to so the dishes give buffs or other perks, a bunch of dungeons and caverns for exploring, bugs and fish to collect and sell/trade/gift, an alliance system where you can EVENTUALLY win everyone over but shit will start out rough if you're friends with a race or town that these new nerds you're trying to befriend don't like. tameable monsters, in the 'I can raise this alongside my cows/pigs/sheep/birds' way, the 'I can bring this home and feed it and it will guard my farm/let me ride it/bring me stuff' way, and the 'I can plant this in a special kind of pot and it will eventually just hang out in a pen where I can collect some of the flowers or leaves or seeds it puts out' way.

multiple ways to do normal plant farming, too. typical 'till ground, plant seed, water seed, ?????, profit' farming, container farming, hydroponics, magical (enchanted container) gardening. tons of trees with different produce. standard farming game plants, plants that don't usually get included but are still stupid awesome, herbs and spices, magical plants for spell and potion ingredients, stuff grown specifically for monster or animal bait properties, ''meat'' plants (so you don't HAVE to get your farm critters butchered for meat, though it takes a lot of plants to add up to what you'd get from the actual critters), a buttload of foraging items you can get seeds or cuttings from or just straight dig up the whole ass plant to move it to your farm. mushrooms, an absolutely ridiculous number of mushrooms, and many of them ones you can cultivate at home if you figure that shit out.

loads of things you can ride. animals (including weird ones, I remember loving being able to ride stupid non-horse shit in Breath of the Wild), monsters (tame a monster, ride a monster), technology (horse drawn carts to a motorcycle, depending on how much effort you put into befriending folks with the tech to make what you want), even magical shit (broomsticks or other household items you can enchant, honestly).

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creepy-spooghetti · 4 years

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The “Ark” Theory

OKAY, so there are a lot of theories out there about Marble Hornets, and I likely haven’t even seen half of them before. But one of the main questions around it is, what exactly is the Ark? There have been speculations that the Ark is Alex, that it’s the “Own Zone” as Joseph called it, or even that it’s a certain mental state that you have to put yourself in.

But what if it’s none of those? What if the Ark isn’t even physical at all? Here’s a theory; there have been many instances when totheark talked about the Ark, one of their more known quotes is, “He will lead me to you. Lead me to death. Lead me to the Ark.”

And so I was thinking, when you die you can either go to heaven or to hell, and if they were talking about one of these places you could only get to them if you did, indeed, die. Now we know that totheark is searching for something, and this “something” is the Ark. It’s unsure who exactly they’re talking to several times; it could be Jay, it could be Alex, it could even be Tim. But maybe it’s none of them. Maybe they’re trying to reach out to someone else for answers, maybe they’re looking for guidance from someone that they’re unable to find.

Here’s where we get into the theory.

What if the “Ark” in question is Jesus? Or rather, salvation? Considering the fact that the Operator is obviously an otherworldly, sinister being, it takes people who die to the Own Zone, which is the other world. Its other world. Remember when Tim got teleported there during Entry #65 and he saw the man Alex had killed with the rock? All the surroundings were dark. You couldn’t see past the corpse.

What does the KJV Bible say about hell? “And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.” -Jude 6. Hell is a dark place. But at the same time, it’s filled with flame.

“And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.” -Revelation 20:50. What do we know about Tim? He smokes. We also know that his old hospital was burned down. Most don’t know that Tim himself was the reason it burned down, though. That quick shot of the melting grill, along with the fire as Tim gets teleported back to his room in Entry #83? The fire started in his room.

So maybe that’s why the Operator latched on so tightly to Tim before it found Alex. It was attracted to fire. We know that the devil is associated with fire, not because he’s from hell but because he’s going to be thrown into hell.

So in this case, let’s say that the Operator represents Satan, the other dimension represents hell, and Jesus is the Ark. Then let’s say that, in terms of Noah’s Ark, that “hell” is the flood. It’s the place nobody wants to be taken to, the place of eternal darkness, flame, and suffering. And totheark doesn’t want to be caught in the flood.

So then what would the Operator be? I thought about this a bit and came to the conclusion that it’s sin. Or rather, the influence of sin. It affects everybody it manages to get its hands on, and Alex is a great example. Then Alex would be the people, the sinners that needed to be wiped off the face of the earth. The only way to get away from the flood would be to find the Ark, which in this case, would be Jesus.

So the Own Zone is the flood, the Operator is sin, Alex is the sinners, and Jesus is the Ark. The only way to escape the flood, ultimate death, would be to find the Ark. But totheark says “lead me to death”. So maybe they want to die, but they don’t want to be taken to hell, which we’ve seen is the Operator’s dimension that it takes victims to.

It took the man that Alex killed, we can assume it took Jay, and it took Alex. I would say it took Jessica, but since she’s alive and well maybe it only brought her out of danger because she is its new puppet, its ‘people’ that it manipulates. She’s the new sinner.

In the end, maybe totheark wanted one thing besides getting revenge on Alex, and maybe that one thing was salvation. They wanted safety, they wanted to be sure they would be okay in the end. They wanted the Ark.

Did they get it? Well, we don’t know what happened to Seth, but after Hoody died and was revealed to be Brian, did the Operator take him? No. Even days after being dead, his corpse was still there. We know for a fact that whoever dies due to Alex, or anyone else that had been affected by the Operator, is taken almost immediately after death. That didn’t happen for Brian.

I like to think that he did get what he was looking for in the end. Remember totheark’s video “Null”? It was their last upload, and in it, the person behind the camera, who we now know was Brian, seemed almost... peaceful. There was a sad kind of feeling to the video, but the way he speaks in it sounds like he has peace of mind. Like he knows he has nothing to fear, because maybe he doesn’t anymore. It’s clear that he knew it would be his last upload, that he knew he would have a showdown with Tim.

He didn’t care if he died in the end or not, why? Because he knew he would be okay, whether he lived or whether he died. He had nothing to be afraid of anymore. He found Jesus, he found the Ark, and he boarded it. And he knew he was on his way to heaven, away from the flood. Away from the clutches of the Operator.

As for Tim? Some speculate that he killed Jessica and then himself, as before Alex died he said that it wasn’t over. He would have to keep killing the infected, and then himself. That it was the only way to stop the ‘spread’.

Some think that he continued being controlled by the Operator, and that would be a reasonable thing to believe because, as you may remember, in the last entry Tim suffered a major coughing fit, with Jessica bending down to ask if he was okay. The video then cuts to Tim driving in a car, seemingly composed a bit.

The camera stays on him for while before he grabs his pill bottle, continues to stare ahead, and looks moments away from bursting into tears before he swirls the camera around so us, the viewers, are facing the direction that the car is being driven. The screen then goes black and the letters displayed on the screen is but three simple words; “Everything is fine.”

IS everything really fine, Tim? No. No, it is not. At least, that’s what I got from it. Tim’s known to lie, and it wouldn’t be a surprise that his last words to viewers would be a reassuring sentence to try and convince him that he’s okay. But I don’t think he’s okay.

At best, I think he continued to live a life with nightmares, hallucinations, and random blackouts that may or may not lead to him having a broken leg. At worst, he found a nice, quiet place to overdose because he didn’t want to suffer anymore. Except he will suffer. He will suffer for eternity.

But yes, this is my theory behind the meaning of the “Ark” and the basis for the series. Has this been done before? Idk, I’ve never seen it before. I can promise you that I’m not stealing someone else’s theory, at least not on purpose. I feel like this makes a lot of sense, and it gives totheark a good motivation as to what they’re after and why they’re after it.

It’s a nice thought that at least somebody finally got what they were after, that they finally got peace after everything that happened to them. I have no proof that Jay did or did not find the Ark. I suppose that his corpse was still physical, I mean, it was still in the real world. But it had clearly been teleported, and he was sitting on a bunch of pages that Alex had drawn.

They were nowhere near Tim’s house at the college, which is where he died at. And when Tim finally goes back to his house, Jay isn’t there, the pages aren’t there, “Your fault” isn’t written on the mirror a dozen times. So we can assume that really, he wasn’t in the real world. He was in another dimension, likely the Own Zone. We’ve seen Tim go into that place before, but I don’t recall Jay ever going. So Tim can be teleported into that dimension while he’s still alive, and Brian is also there too. But only for a moment. This is also before he died.

So I don’t know. I think Jay was taken to the Operator’s world, like Alex and the poor rock victim. What do you think?

Even if this theory is utter nonsense it was fun writing. It’s an interesting concept and I definitely enjoyed it. I’ve been literally breathing Marble Hornets for the past few weeks so I couldn’t stop a theory from popping into my mind and then make me think, ‘hey, what if?’

Actually, I’ve been thinking about making a separate blog solely dedicated to Marble Hornets. Should I? I probably will - after all, this blog I have right now is more about Creepypasta rather than Marble Hornets. And I’m a huge Marble Hornets fan so I want something dedicated to it. Also, it’ll give me the opportunity to talk about my unending love for Brian without seeming sudden and obsessed xD

So... yeah. That’s me done. Happy Valentine’s day, btw! I am very lonely, as I assume a lot of you are, so it’s the perfect excuse to write CP fluff and act as if I won’t end up alone with thirty cats. I already have four of ‘em, guess I’m well on my way. That isn’t a bad thing though. Cats are awesome. Prove me wrong.

So yes, I will be sure to get some Valentine’s day content out for you beautiful people tomorrow unless I find myself totally unmotivated. Fingers crossed, right?

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queenofnohr · 4 years

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Twisted Wonderland: Floyd Leech Birthday Suit-up (SSR) - Voice Lines + Personal Story

Voice Lines

SSR Summoning Quote: Today, me n’ Jade are the stars of the show~ You’re looking forward to giving us presents, right? Summoning Line: Hey, isn’t it a landweller tradition to sing a birthday song? Then let’s hop to it. Start on three, okay? Groovy: Thanks for celebrating with me. I’ll give you lotsa interesting things on your birthday, Shrimpy. Set Home: Happy Birthday to me! I’m excited to see what kinda birthday this’ll be. Home Idle 1: Azul shined my shoes for me, so I wanted to put ‘em on right away. Look, they’re so shiny you can see your reflection in ‘em. Isn’t it great? Home Idle 2: I got a lot of birthday presents from my parents. But the dorm rooms are small so they stopped sending big ones. Hmph~ Home Idle 3: *yawn*...... All the excitement’s making me sleepy. Wonder if I should go get someone to gimme a present to stay awake. Home Login: Can you guess who the first person who wished me happy birthday was? The correct answer is…… Jade! Every year we’re the first to wish each other happy birthday. Home Idle Groovy: Shrimpy, isn’t that plate bad for serving food? Fufu, it’s okay, you don’t have to start over. It’s funnier this way. Home Tap 1: Professor Knifejaw said that since it’s my birthday, if I don’t do my homework, he’ll give me extra “presents.” He’s so meaaaan. Home Tap 2: Otter gave me a percussion instrument from the Land of Hot Sands! He also gave Jade a string instrument, and the main color on them matches our hair. Home Tap 3: I pestered Goldfish for a gift and he gave me a shoehorn even though he was super mad. It’s even engraved with an F! It matches Jade’s. Aha! Home Tap 4: Sea-snake and Crabby hit me with pies at club practice. It was lotsa fun in the end, with everyone throwing them at each other~ Home Tap 5: What is it, you curious about my brooch? It’s got the same design on it as the shoes I wear with my dorm uniform~ It almost looks like it was shrunk down by magic. Home Tap Groovy: Hey, what’re hiding behind your back? Aha, you’re so obvious, acting all suspicious like that. Go ahead and hand your present over now.

Personal Story

Birthday Suit-up Chapter 1

Happy Birthday, Floyd Leech

-Octavinelle Dorm - Birthday Party Venue-

NRC School Newspaper Special Edition Interview with the Birthday Boy ~Floyd Edition~

> —Happy Birthday.

Floyd: Oh, you came to wish us well, too, Shrimpy. Thanks~

Please tell us how you feel after celebrating.

Floyd: It was real lively and suuuuuuper fun. We’ve had parties at our parents’ house, but it was never this boisterous. I liked how this one wasn’t so stiff n’ stuffy.

—I’ve heard that you always have sweets in your room; is that true?

Floyd: Huh? Isn’t it obvious, Shrimpy? Even if you eat dinner, dontcha get hungry before bed? It’s ‘cause both me n’ Jade are still growing.

—What are your favorite sweets?

Floyd: Mmm, it kinda depends on my mood that day…… A while back I used to really like peppermint candy. A week ago it was melon soda-flavored gummies…… and yesterday it was almond biscotti. I think chewiness matters more than flavor when it comes to the stuff I like. I also like stuff I can only find on land. If you find some rare treats, lemme know will ya, Shrimpy?

I will. Semi-related— what’s your favorite food?

Floyd: That would be~...... takoyaki! Oh, do you know what takoyaki is? Eh, you don’t know, Shrimpy? I didn’t expect the people at school to know, but you’re like a walking dictionary, aren’t ya? Just the other day, after the Mostro Lounge closed, me n’ Jade got together with some other Octavinelle guys and ate some. They’re pretty hard to flip when you’re making them, but I’ve done it so many times I’m reallyyyy good at it now. Also, even though it’s called takoyaki, if you use other ingredients for the filling, you’ll never get bored of it.

What kinds of ingredients have you tried?

Floyd: First was shrimp and cheese! Then sausages, then oysters....... Tomato, broccoli, shoots, fresh cream, chocolate, anchovies, potato salad, and konjac......

You’ve sure tried a lot of things.

Floyd: Yeah, I have. In the end, it turns into a game of who can make one with the weirdest combination…… They all turn out so bad it’s funny! I ate everything properly ‘cause Azul got mad that we made all that gross food. Next time, I’ll invite you too, Shrimpy. It’s a promise.

Birthday Suit-up Chapter 2

—You often leave your collar open; do you have difficulty keeping it closed?

Floyd: I wouldn’t say it’s difficult, just annoying. Just ‘cause I’m good at squeezing people, doesn’t mean I like being squeezed, ya’know? When I first got on land, I didn’t like clothes either. It felt like there was seaweed clinging to my body all the time. And on top of that, you gotta wash your clothes every time you wear them, right? I wondered why humans would bother with such a troublesome thing. But now I like picking out my clothes. Being able to wear lotsa different colors is fun. Shrimpy, did you know? Even if it’s a flashy color on land, it’ll look dark under the sea. Besides, with stuff like clothes, shoes, accessories…… It’s fun to get all dressed up on land. But I get in trouble when I buy a bunch of stuff and load it all up in the room. ‘Cause Jade cleans the room, we got a lot of empty space, so I asked him if I could use it for my stuff, but he cut down my request with a single, “No.” Ahhhh. I wonder if I can use another dorm room for storage.

Is there anything you like to collect?

Floyd: Eh~? Well, Jade likes collecting plants, and Azul likes collecting coins, but…… I tried collecting stuff, but I got bored of it…… Oh, I guess there’s that. I don’t really collect them, but I did buy stuff with moray eels on them.

What kinds of things did you buy?

Floyd: A T-shirt with a loose sketch of one, and a mascot keychain with a goofy face. Because there’s a legend that says the Sea Witch has super-competent moray eels as henchmen, in the sea eels have a kinda rough image attached to them. They’re carnivorous fish, after all. But it’s really weird how moray eel merch sold on land is strangely cute. I wonder if that’s how eels appear to humans. Anyway, I gave the T-shirt I bought to Jade and he happily put it on. Aha. But Azul said, “Don’t you dare go out wearing that.” Even though it’s soooooo cute, isn’t he so mean~?

Birthday Suit-Up Chapter 3

—Which do you prefer - your human form or your merman form?

Floyd: When I first got into my human form, I didn’t know how to move my tail fin- er, legs- and my body felt so heavy…… “I swear I’m gonna turn back into a merman and jump into the sea right now,” is what I was thinking. But lately I’ve been thinking this form isn’t so bad. There are only fish and merfolk in the Coral Sea, but there are lotsa different types of people in the school. So it’s not boring at all. Also…… it’s fun being on land ‘cause I can do stuff like play basketball and dance. Recently, I’ve gotten suuuuper into parkour.

What’s parkour?

Floyd: Oh, you don’t know? It’s when you do stuff like kick off of handrails and walls or climb buildings…… It’s a sport where you head for a goal while keeping your movement as fluid as possible even if there are obstacles.

It sounds difficult.

Floyd: I guess I’ve never really thought of it as easy or hard. I’ve always liked doing obstacle races since I was a kid.

You have obstacle races under the sea……?

Floyd: Yeah. The goal is to swim through a sunken ship on a fixed route. The inside of the sunken ships are broken all over, which makes it complicated to get around since there’s lots of stuff that gets in the way while you’re swimming. You gotta avoid obstacles with minimal movement so you don’t lose your speed while swimming. Then, the one who reaches the goal first wins! ……See, it’s kinda like parkour, right? That’s why I like it. I’m happy I learned to do something new, and it’s fun ‘cause it’s like swimming on land. There’s no set way to avoid stuff or head to a goal, so I guess you could say it’s really…… free? I hate when there’s stupid stiff rules...... Oh, that reminds me, there was a day a while back where I overslept, and when I got to class through a window using parkour, the professor got suuuuuper mad at me. I tried real hard not to be late, so shouldn’t I get praised instead? Next time I’ll try not to get caught. Aha.

Thank you very much for sharing so much with us. And happy birthday, again.

*For those unaware, Floyd nicknames everyone after aquatic creatures. (Barred) Knifejaw is Crewel, (Sea) Otter is Kalim, Goldfish is Riddle, Sea-snake is Jamil, Crab/Crabby is Ace, Shrimp/Shrimpy is Yuu/the protagonist.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #floyd leech #jade leech #.......sorta. by proxy.#octavinelle #my translations #long post

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maxrev · 4 years

Note

For the kiss prompts: "in the snow" and "life or death" if I can combine them like that? your call) for an otp of your choice.

IT IS DONE...I had no idea this would explode into such a long prompt lol. I mean, I gave it a title and even added a quote xD. Anyways, here you are :) Thanks SO much for the prompt! A bit angsty but I figured the prompt called for it!

Under the cut because...wow...

I’d like to thank @spaced0lphin for her wonderful musical work, as it provided inspiration to write this piece and @theoriginalladya for checking it over

When I Took to the Sky

Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time… It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other. Leo Buscaglia

Arcing through the debris, the drop shuttle came to rest amidst the debris of a ship, snow puffing up into the air as it landed; flakes sparkling as they danced and whirled in the air before once again coming to rest on the ground. Pulling on his gloves, the pilot reached for his helmet resting on the passenger seat and tugged it on, twisting it snug with a snap.

He took a deep, steadying breath...and stepped out onto Alchera.

Ever since Niall had received the message from Admiral Hackett about placing a memorial here, he’d been pushing it aside. A memorial to honor those who’d laid down their lives for the Alliance. Hardly seemed enough, considering how dismissive the findings the crew of the Normandy had presented. But the fact he was employed by Cerberus now was cause for surprise in being contacted. Other questions followed though; why had the Alliance waited so long to decide on a memorial? Had he not rose from the grave like Lazarus, would they even have bothered?

Once he’d agreed, he continued to push it aside. There were other missions to take precedence, a ragtag bunch of crew members to hunt down and recruit, and the Illusive Man to annoy - his personal favorite agenda. Anything took precedence over coming here. He simply wasn’t ready to face the part of his past which had changed everything. There was hope coming here would heal old wounds, rather than deepen them.

His steps were measured, faltering when he came upon a piece of the Normandy, his mind thrown back in time invoking memories he’d suppressed of a life changing event from over two years ago.

Two fecking years!

It was a constant struggle to process the passage of time; dying and then being resurrected without any knowledge of it.

Pausing at the mako, he was thrown into the past, scenes flashing behind his eyes…Kaidan's white knuckled grip as Niall slid the tank through snow and ice up the mountain on Noveria; Ashley yelling with uncontained glee as he'd skidded close to the edge of the lava pools on Feros; Garrus' mandibles twitching when he'd observe the mako on return to the Normandy; Kaidan's resignation upon being turned down again upon his request to drive...the near kiss they'd shared inside the cab a few hours before their last drop when their world ended.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the approach of another drop shuttle.

A sound came from behind him, out of place in the absolute stillness around him. Niall whirled, one hand reaching for his maglocked weapon, the other erupting in a blue glow. Setting eyes on the source, both hands dropped to his side in shock.

Kaidan.

Right away, he noticed he LT had changed. They’d spent so much time together; on the ship, off the ship, on the battlefield, he’d learned the LT’s subtle mannerisms. Gone was the quiet, sensitive marine soldier with stars in his eyes, the romantic he’d claimed to be back on the SR-1. In the eyes staring back at him carefully, in the posture of the man before him, there was a confidence and maturity he’d not had before. There was also doubt.

It's me, Niall wanted to say, to reassure. It just wasn't so simple.

He watched the play of emotions in the deep brown eyes he'd dreamed about so often. Their eyes locked and he was thrown back in time. Although for him, it was only a few months ago...not two years, when they’d been sitting in the mess on the SR-1, drinking coffee and going over their notes on the Terminus. Niall had been going on about the goose chase they'd been sent on...

“I cannae believe they sent us out to the arse end of space for nothing! Wasted two fucking weeks looking for something which isnae even here.” He slammed his fist on the table, other soldiers in the mess startled at his outburst. Niall ignored them.

“I’m sure they just wanted us out of the way but we’ll find something, Shepard. We just have to be patient.”

Niall snorted, “My patience ran dry about an hour inta this mission. I’ll contact those doaty bampots and tell 'em what I really think.”

Kaidan chuckled, took a sip of his coffee before answering, “Not your best idea by a long shot.”

Winking at him and enjoying the slight blush across the cheeks, Niall smiled, “Aye but it’ll be fun and blow off some steam.”

In the end, nothing came of it as the ship rocked hard to port and alarms began to blare around them...

A cough brought him back to the present, watching the brown eyes change in the light, the initial confusion fading to doubt, then replaced with wariness.

"Who are you?" The first words to be spoken aloud between them, in the same velvety rasp which had haunted Niall’s dreams.

They cut deep, hurt worse than any wound he’d endured. He straightened up, pushing the pain away and answered.

“Who d'ya think it is? Jolly ol' St. Nick? Tis me, Kaidan. Niall.” He felt like he was stating the obvious, words coming out sharper than intended.

Silence followed his outburst, the sound of wind wailing in the distance filling the stillness. As the quiet stretched on, Niall reflected on the situation, quickly realizing if roles were reversed, he'd be suspicious as well. Indignation sailed away like a balloon on the wind.

Ready to apologize, Kaidan spoke before Niall could ready his words, “I thought--” voice hoarse with agony, he choked on whatever he’d been about to say, unable to continue. Looking away from Niall, he composed himself, took a deep breath and despite his attempt to remain calm, blurted, “You...you were dead.”

Biting his tongue against voicing the LT’s mighty powers of observation, Niall fought for something a wee bit more serious and relatable. Now wasnae the time for jokes.

“Aye," the words ‘but now I’m not’ still echoing in the air between them. How could he begin to explain what he dinnae understand himself? As if he were stuck in quick sand, he felt the more he tried to climb out, the deeper he sank.

“So, the rumors were true.”

“Och, aye, guess they were.”

“When?”

The wealth of emotion in the single word struck Niall right in the heart, nearly making him stagger from the pain. He fought for an answer, disregarding one after another as they came to him.

With a heavy sigh, he decided on the truth, “Several months ago.” The dark brows inside the black helmet furrowed downwards into a frown he was all too familiar with. Even to his own ears the response sounded lame. “I dinnae know until then. I was...uh...I doonae even know what to call it...brought back to life?” He threw his hands up in frustration.

Disbelief followed his statement, turning quickly to suspicion. He could see the change in Kaidan's eyes through the visor. Tone flat, he echoed, “Brought back to life." At Niall’s nod of confirmation, his voice rose, "How is such a thing even possible? Who is...capable of such a thing?”

Knowing how Kaidan felt about the organization, Niall didn't spare him the facts. He'd find out anyway. “Cerberus.”

The climate of Alchera was cold and frigid, unfit for flora or fauna to sustain life. Even inside his armor, Naill could feel the chill in the air and had simply wanted to walk through the ruins and leave quickly. He’d never expected to find a dog tag or get lost in memories.

And now, with his confession, the temperature seemed to drop even further; at least where the two of them stood. Kaidan stared at him for several long, agonizing seconds. He didn’t bother answering, turning around and walking away.

Niall jumped forward, his gloved hands capturing Kaidan’s stopping him, “Wait, please. Don’t go.”

His gaze dropped down to where their hands were joined; Niall's did as well, heart skipping in his chest. “Please.” He wasn't above begging, not when it came to Kaidan.

Pulling his hand from Niall’s, Kaidan turned away; yet, he didn’t leave. Several minutes went by; Niall held his breath. “How could you? It’s...they’re Cerberus! You know what they’ve done. The...the things we saw!”

Fully aware of what his impassioned words implied, Niall felt his anger rise in response, “Did ya think I had a choice in this? As if I could pick and choose who would ha’ the honors of...of fixing...of rebuilding me? Fuck! I wouldnae have chosen this at all...if anyone had ever bothered to ask me first. But here I am and will damn well make the best of it, ya ken?”

Silence stretched on around them. “Are you…you?” Kaidan whispered.

How many times had he looked in the mirror wondering the exact same thing? “I doonae know, Kaidan…" He repeated in a whisper, "I doonae know."

With the admission, he could not look at Kaidan anymore, gazed around them instead. He saw a glint of something shiny; another set of dog tags perhaps.

To fill the void, he explained, “Saw something sparkle in the sun shortly after I landed. Walked over and found a set of dog tags belonging to Pressly. As I wandered among the wreckage I found more from the crew...the ones who…” he couldn’t say it out loud, felt a hand settle on his shoulder.

Startled, he turned to stare at it, unable to process the gesture with Kaidan’s protests from a few short minutes ago. Did he believe him now or was it all just for show? Yet, Kaidan had never been superficial. Something Niall admired about him, then and now.

“We’ll do it together.” The words startled him even more than the touch, but he was grateful.

“Aye. Tapadh leat.” **

Searching the pieces of the Normandy side by side. As the looked, Niall noticed the sky darkening overhead. Caught up in the past, neither of them had paid any attention. A storm was approaching; a large one. Seeing another glint of metal, Niall brushed off the snow and wrapped the chain around his gloved fingers.

The storm had intensified and was coming at them fast and furious. There wasn’t time for them to get to their drop shuttles and leave.

He turned and tapped on Kaidan’s helmet. “We need to take cover. Now! Get inside one of the drop shuttles!” Niall took off at a dead run towards the one closest, Kaidan hot on his heels.

Jumping inside, Niall slammed his fist against the touchpad, shutting the door just as the storm growled over them, ice chips beating a staccato against the steel hull. Wind buffeted the Kodiak, causing it to rock before sliding a few inches along the ground. Unable to radio out and with no one able to contact them, they were sitting ducks at the mercy of the storm.

Niall reached up and took off his helmet, scrubbing his shorn, itchy scalp with gloved fingertips.

“You...you’re...the scars?” Kaidan finally managed.

Niall had forgotten. Not completely healed when the Lazarus project had been sabotaged, he was left with scars where his skin hadn’t had time to knit back together. Chakwas told him by remaining calm they would eventually heal and fade but with stress, they would remain...or get worse.

Well...

He turned towards Kaidan, their eyes locking. Niall wasn’t the man he’d been the last time they’d seen each other.

“Aye, scars. I wasnae fully healed when...well, when I was brought out of my coma.” He went to replace his helmet.

Kaidan stopped him, hand on his arm. “No, don’t. I don’t care what you look like, Niall. I just...I was surprised.”

He nodded. No moreso than he when he first looked in the mirror. The image staring back at him had been a great shock. That mirror had been replaced. Niall went and sat down on the bench in the back; Kaidan remained standing, neither one speaking as the storm raged on outside. It might last an hour or maybe days.

“Look, Kaidan--”

“Niall, I--”

Both of them spoke at once. Niall gave a weak grin as Kaidan chuckled and he noticed the pink hue covering the tips of the ears. Some things hadn’t changed. He felt as if a weight had been lifted and he’d been granted a boon.

Looking at Kaidan straight on, he began again, “I ken how it looks. I do. But, before you draw and quarter me, I dinnae now what to do, where to go. The Alliance won’t ha’ me now and I talked with Anderson and Hackett. They know what’s going on with the human abductions. The Council won’t listen.” He spat the name, no more enamored with them than in the past. “What would ya ha’ me do?”

“Plead your case, push them. Be relentless like you were before. They have to see reason.”

Shaking his head at Kaidan’s blind faith, he countered, “Do they? Have they ever? Have ya forgotten Sovereign? The Citadel doesnae even remember, the damage wwept away like so much garbage, forgotten and moved on.”

The shoulders slumped. Niall studied him, drinking in the sight of a man he hadn’t realized how much he’d begun to care about. Until he was gone. Yet, here he was right in front of him. And they were arguing, Kaidan too blind to see what was so obvious. He stood up, stepping forward until they were nearly nose to nose. Kaidan looked up.

Niall lost himself in the brown eyes, a golden amber when the light overhead caught them just right. How had he never noticed before? The laugh lines spreading out from the corners of his eyes, the freckles above his right eyebrow. So many details he’s missed. No, he’d never bothered to find. Now, he noticed them all...and more.

Adrenaline surged in his blood, excitement unfurling within him. He remembered the scars over Kaidan’s lips, wanting to touch them, see how they felt beneath his fingertips...against his tongue. They were right there in front of him now. Overcome with a tidal wave of pent up emotions, he acted on impulse.

Leaning forward, he captured Kaidan’s mouth with his, losing himself in the scent and taste of him, in the soft lips, his tongue tracing the scars...finally.

Lost in a longing he had no name for, it took Niall several seconds to register there was no reciprocation. His heart twisted painfully inside his chest. So, this was it, then. He took a deep breath, ready to apologize. But, as he stepped away, he stumbled, Kaidan surging forward to initiate the kiss this time.

The Kodiak faded away, as did the storm outside. Only the two of them existed in this perfect moment and Niall drank it up like a parched man in the desert until they both broke away, simply in order to breathe.

** thank you, Scottish Gaelic, informal

#prompt #laelior #mshenko #mass effect #Niall Shepard #Kaidan Alenko

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agathaarts · 4 years

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Spidersonas forever!!!!!! Though she’s become less of a Spidersona and more her own weird spiderspinoff at this point, complete with a name change.

Some more Itsy stuff outta basically nowhere! Her spider-human hybrid form is where she’s most “comfortable” and ultimately where she winds up resting most of the time, though she’s still a pretty competent were-spider-shapeshifter-sort. She has a number of different and modifiable outfits, perks of living with a seamstress, and....I also wanted to draw a bunch of her, uh, rogue’s gallery together, though admittedly the Black Cats could be considered friends before long. Or at least, associates.

This is far from all of them, but these are the guys I have concrete looks for at least! Maybe I’ll do one of her allies soon. As is, most of her issues stem from the monsterous OZCORP, the company that not only created her, but continues to create it’s own forces, meddling in the nature of reality to do so!

Tiny blurbs below the cut for each of them, and if you’d like to know more about any of ‘em...let me know! I have an unfortunate amount of ideas for this AU!

ITSY-BITSY AKA SPIDER-WOMAN aka Aggie Appleton. While working for the unscrupulous OzCorp, unlucky intern Aggie Appleton is caught in the backlash of an experiment that fuses her with unstable realmatter and the test subject- a hyper-adaptive spider created using the same unstable realmatter! Now, she fights to protect her city from OzCorp’s increasingly dangerous experiments and the beings created by their experiments as ITSY BITSY aka THE INCREDIBLE SPIDER-WOMAN!

THE GREEN GOBLIN aka Norma Osborne. The CEO and leader of OZcorp, Norma Osborne has sacrificed everything for her company and their work, being a gifted and brilliant scientist in her own right. It has cost her family ties, friends, her social life, and now- her sanity and stability of form. Able to transform into the corrosive GREEN GOBLIN, she becomes a destructive force of chemical reactions and decay, with no more limits standing in her way! At least, until that annoying spider shows up...

THE KLYNTAR, represented by units VENOM and CARNAGE ~ Inter-dimensional beings, symbiotes (or, perhaps, parasites) who feed off of living beings, the KLYNTAR are horrors from beyond who’ve made a deal with Norma Osborne: a place to stop and feed in exchange for OzCorp to poke and prod and take samples to use their unstable realmatter forms to create new techniques and horrors! Of course, once mold gets in....it’s almost impossible to get it out, even if said mold is far more than anything native to Earth!

BLACK CAT is a mystery. A force of corporate espionage, a cat thief, a rumor, and mystery, a funny joke to poke fun at unsolved thefts and leaked information- of course, it’s very hard to find Black Cat. They slip in and out of secure warehouses, files, and companies with nary a trace, virtually impossible to spot. Especially unless you know they’re not one person, but three. At least, that Itsy-Bitsy comes to know of...

THE BUGS are a group of ne’er-do-wells who took up an offer to be bonded with biotech armor by OzCorp, all for their own various reasons, and now they’re beholden to OzCorp...and on an impressive payroll, that motivates being guards, bullies, and thieves as necessary.

SCORPION aka Mac Gargan. Once a private detective of disrespectful status, Mac Gargan was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Unlike his fellow bugs, he tends to question a lot of his commands, and is well aware of the quote “hinky crap” going down behind the lab doors of OsCorp- but the pay grade is nice. And the benefits, well, the benefits are killer. Besides, he’s gotten to know the personality of his symbiotic armor well...and wouldn’t abandon him back to OzCorp’s nonexistent mercies by quitting.

BEETLE aka Abby Jenkins. Previously an engineer with white collar criminal aspirations, Abby Jenkins was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Having bonded well with her symbiotic armor, she’s enjoying the steady work and respect she finds with OzCorp, and gets to spend her spare time tinkering with projects amongst brilliant inventors she’d have never had a chance to rub elbows with before!

FLY aka Richie Deacon. A career small-time criminal, Richie Deacon spent most of his life in and out of prison, halfway houses, and shelters, and was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling a particular tragedy and desperation. Now they don’t care much about the work they do, happy to do whatever OzCorp asks in exchange for living a cushy life, even if it means having to wear the gross symbiotic armor. Still, small price to pay to fly!

SHR- i mean -SHOCKER aka Herman Schultz. Another career criminal, Herman Schultz worked as muscle for a few crime families in various cities, before getting bounced out of almost all of them and directly into OzCorp’s loving arms. No tragedy or desperation needed to convince him to get into a suit of powered armor (even if it’s more or less a giant lobster as far as he’s concerned) and start breaking things at a whim! Besides, everything at OzCorp is so damn weird, he’s never been more entertained anywhere in his life!

ELECTRO aka Max Voltage. Once one of OzCorp’s many test animals, an electric “eel” cobbled together out of various types of electric fish and a hodgepodge of other animals, Max taking on human traits was, well...an accident, but a happy one. Now settled into a form distinctly human, with intelligence to match (though some would argue otherwise) Max is capable of incredible feats of electrical manipulation and sensitivity beyond any creature in it’s creation!

DOCTOR OCTOPUS aka Octavia Otto. Respected young researcher and lead scientist of many OzCorp projects, Octavia Otto was caught in the backlash of an experiment that ultimately fused her with a number of test subjects, hyper-adaptive octopuses...except she’s continued to mutate and change, in ways nobody else can quite pin down (but it’s okay, she’s keeping rigorous, detailed notes on the process! For science!) and has assisted OzCorp’s goals since, happy to have a constant source of supplies and test subjects to work with. Her and Aggie Appleton had...history, before this all went down, too, so that’s not awkward at all!

RHINO aka Aleksei Sytsevich. Arriving in America as Anna Kravenoff’s bodyguard, Aleksei found himself out of work before long as Anna hastily shucked her father’s protections of her and kicked him unceremoniously out of her life. Once OzCorp decided he’d make a fine test subject, well, he’s been a professional mook for most of his life and didn’t have many complaints about the improved size, strength, and toughness. Aleksei may put on a blithe, dopey exterior, but he’s far too controlled to be an actual fool...which makes him quite dangerous, even if he only does as OzCorp asks.

THE SPOT aka Joon-Woo Ohnn. The Spot’s creation is a sort of mystery, even to himself and to OzCorp. An experiment, a failure, and...Dr. Ohnn is still certainly alive and aware, but some sort of bizarre 3D shadow cast by, well, wherever he is. While unable to speak, Ohnn is still fully capable of serving OzCorp, with his ability to function as a series of wormholes and perform strange acts of teleportation.

MYSTER.IO aka Mysterio aka thecrystalball aka The Mystery aka ??? aka aka aka aka aka..... Myster.io is a digital character- either a face for someone distant and anonymous, or many someones, or perhaps some sort of self-aware AI, Mysterio’s story changes every time he tells it and that’s just how it should be! This bizarre digital being pops up on people’s devices and is an information gatherer and peddler, always happy to tweak reality to better suite someone’s needs for a price.

KRAVEN the HUNTRESS aka Ana Kravenoff aka Kraven Jr. aka Lady Anastasia Kravenoff. Kraven the Hunter was a star, a legend- a man who battled beasts and travelled to impossible places and rose to reclaim an ancient family legacy, he was famous and infamous alike, and regardless of if you loved or hated him- he was a household name across the globe. Ana would like that. Ana might have been shipped off to America to live a carefully tailored “normal” life by her father and his estate, but Ana has aspirations that greatly outstrip those of her brothers and a goal to match her father’s infamy someday! But until she can secure a show, she hunts monsters for YouTube and enjoys her modest cult following- especially since she’s found a way to attend college in a sleepy Midwestern City that just happens to have a lot of monster-related issues. Her current target? Spider-Woman!

#spidersona #itsy-bitsy #itsyverse #spider-woman #green goblin #venom #carnage #black cat #scorpion #beetle #fly #shocker #electro #doctor octopus #rhino #the spot #mysterio #kraven #ana kravinoff

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Book Commentary on Inversion Theory

Alright, as a follow-up to this post, it looks like there’s an actual full bit of Homestuck book commentary (around the pages nearing Rose’s grimdark transformation, Book 6 pg 115, HS pg 3305, thanks @ramiedersedreamer and @zandraxofnebulon) about how Inversion Theory (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) isn’t what we thought. Quoting and reading it first (not the whole reddit post but that portion at least), then discussion under the cut:

"Rose is a Light player, but her blackout effects result from arguably the nadir of her role as such a hero--that is, when she succumbs to Scratch's manipulations and other eldritch persuasions, and goes grimdark. This truth would appear to lend credence to a line of classpect thinking known as "inversion theory," which really isn't without its merits. This note has just gone to the bother of describing one of its merits, in fact. However, it is possible to get carried away with this line of thinking and use it to evaluate everything that happens in Homestuck. For instance, you could say "Well, Karkat is a Blood hero, and here's where he stops being as Karkatty as usual, so that means he's being the opposite of his aspect. Which means he's being Breathy instead of Bloody. So that means a bunch of other stuff, ipso facto, Homestuck has been EXPLAINED." That's not really the way all this works. Aspect lore runs deep, but it isn't the Rosetta Stone to the story. When in doubt, it's better to remember this: rather than an underlying mystical logic where all classpect roads lead to Deep Answers, HS is a comprehensive nexus of many themes, and all roads lead to the basic idea that this is a tale about kids who are trapped in the universal struggle associated with growing up."

I... hm. Dammit. Is that all he wrote?? This slippery author is a master of giving us tantalizing and insightful details without committing to any hard yes-or-no whatsoever. >:T

I’d been building myself up to reading this all throughout yesterday with gut-wrenching dread that at this late, late, late hour he’d finally given us a definitive “NO” on Inversion. Instead we get this quite interesting but more vague “eh, there’s merits, but don’t go too far with it”. Which is......

...about as potentially-optimistic as I put it in the previous post, if not moreso?

Andrew’s being careful to lavish odd praise on inversion theory, too. Which some people are going to interpret as (Option 1) “Nice try, but dead wrong”, like the anon who put a snippet in my inbox initially, and others will interpret as (Option 2) “The big ones are RIGHT, nudge nudge, but stop applying it everywhere cause the fans who say every line of the comic means ‘ghosting inversion’ are looking at the story wrong and annoying everyone”.

As someone guilty of being one of those fans described in the latter half on occasion, I can CERTAINLY agree with THAT last part. Andrew made it really clear with the ending of Homestuck proper -- “this side shit didn’t matter as much as you thought it did”. I was so enamored with the classpect system that I thought almost everything was being shown to us through those lenses, at one point -- but even though perhaps more than the random reader might have thought is there, like he says, it ain’t supposed to be no Rosetta Stone. Even when I WAS overapplying classpect everywhere, the people who did it too often in places I felt clearly un-merited REALLY pissed me off! I can’t imagine how much more that might’ve been magnified in the shoes of someone who happened to apply the correct, lower amount of classpect and had to put up with me babbling and slathering it everywhere, much less the author’s shoes.

But there is still a big hole in his criticism, one he intentionally seems to have left there to me. By saying “don’t look for it everywhere”, but ALSO that “there’s more than some merit to it”... I don’t think it’s a stretch to think the truth might not only be somewhere in between Options 1 and 2, but perhaps even closer to Option 2.

Aaaand HERE’s where if you’re someone who HUNGERED for me to admit wrongdoing by sticking with this theory for so long, you’re no doubt angry. Looking at me as making excuses in the face of this long-awaited OBJECTIVE PROOF OF TOTAL THEORY DISMISSAL... WHY won’t the deluded bastard FINALLY succumb to REASON? ANDREW HIMSELF spoke up on the issue, IS THIS NOT ENOUGH?!???

And, well... you’re right to be angry. To be honest, I’m a fair bit pissed off too -- I could’ve used a solid “NO”, traumatizing as it would’ve been to me!

But that’s not what we got, because... *rolls eyes @ author* ...that’s not how Andrew works nowadays. And as irritating as it is, I also have to respect it a bit.

Andrew has become pretty committed to not full-on table-flipping fan interpretations and fanworks, avoiding forcing one “correct” interpretation (see: central struggle of HS^2 and the villains labeling divergence from canon at all as “bad”) because both interpretations should be rewarded. If something is REALLY wrong and hurts objective appreciation of the lessons he wanted to portray in his comic, like people plastering Classpect everywhere to the exclusion of the story’s central canon-escaping themes, he’s willing to shut them down... but when it comes to effective-sounding interpretations of the comic that he possibly never intended but “could” have been what he intended? He’s REALLY careful not to step on them! Or even sometimes DISTINGUISH them from the ones that he DID intend, sometimes, to keep as many fan interpretations alive in our imaginations as possible.

Which, as someone who pins Inversion’s entire existence on the assertion that “Andrew deliberately intended this and it’s our DELUSION otherwise”, really pisses me off at times like this. This is a theory hinged on the idea that Andrew had been deliberately hiding INCREDIBLY clever evidence throughout the comic for these intense thematic moves. All the SYMBOLISM we thought was pointing to inversion would lose an incredible amount of its meaning if it were all an accident. What about all that cool imagery in the Breath and Blood post? Did any of THAT really mean what we thought it was there for, like between WV and PM? Was any of it REAL? Will we ever even get an ANSWER? The answer is “no, we won’t”, because Andrew persists in this method of keeping his cards close to his chest even if he has to take them to the damn grave, cause he knows we’ll have more “fun” not knowing ‘em. That considerate son of a bitch. >:(

I’m serious -- it really does make me more than a little angry. I really do wish he’d said more to show us where we’re off-course.

But HS^2 has brought us Terezi telling us that Mind and Heart are indeed opposites. He MIGHT be holding onto the info because we may get it later in canon itself...

Meh. I’ll try not to hope too hard. And I’d better clarify what I actually believe, here:

My TL;DR thoughts on Andrew’s commentary up above are that when it comes to Inversion Theory (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), he’s leaving room for some of the BIG events to have been right or almost right -- say, #1, maybe #2, and only POSSIBLY #3 or #4 -- while telling us to back off and cast SERIOUS DOUBT on stuff that could have more character-driven explanations, especially #5.

If there’s a seriously FUNDAMENTAL transformation in a character that isn’t fully explained by their character journey alone (as kids growing up), involves significant outside interference, and is reflected by countless visual cues, THEN we should want to see if Inversion Theory “has merit” in that sort of case -- while laying it up against other competing theories that account for external interference of a non-Inversion-related nature in their actions too. Things like pre- and post-ascension Aradia or pre- and post-dreamdeath Jade seeming almost completely different characters? Or Rose seemingly taken over by the Horrorterrors... only to do nothing to benefit them but throw her mainself at Jack and get killed so she’d be forced to ascend on the moon mission rather than God-tier-die? I’d say Inversion is worth consideration and -- daresay -- worth believing in, in such cases.

And it still might all be wrong. There are legitimate ways to read Andrew’s commentary above that would have people screaming that Inversion has been disproven, that the “merits” mentioned were just a nod of respect to the losing side that I’m completely overblowing. But those seem to me like carefully ambiguous words from a carefully ambiguous man, and if there’s anyone to blame for their ambiguity, it’s Andrew. Trust me; I don’t like it either. He’s had plenty of practice saying things in a way that we CAN’T really draw many assumptions from.

Heck, even the Redditor transcribing this summarized their thoughts in a way that draws some assumptions I don’t believe are there:

Mostly I think it's just interesting that he's actually addressing Inversion Theory, and the gist is basically "it's a cool idea and has some merits, but the classpect system and story are not quite that formulaic." Sorry BKEW. At least we know Hussie has been paying attention to our wild theorizing.

--which is a rebuke drawn on the common interpretation that Inversion describes too “formulaic” a classpect system, especially with specific-class inversion like Seer <-> Witch and such. But IS that what Andrew is saying? Andrew criticizes the overapplication of aspect theory in describing everyone’s actions page to page, but does that mean a quote-unquote “rigid” system (I’m not going to play out the old “specific-class-inversion-is-too-rigid” vs “youre missing the flexible potential a fixed system gives” arguments again) is ITSELF an overapplication of classpect to people’s actions and personalities? Is he perhaps hinting that only Aspect stuff mattered in Inversion cases and the Witchy Rose class stuff was just a separate thematic thing that fits by coincidence?? What does it mean? WE DON’T KNOW! AND IT’S PISSING ME OFF AAAARGH

...I think I’ve said all I can think to say for now.

I mean, I’m glad Inversion Theory wasn’t outright disproven. I think it’s neat. I have a lot of emotional investment behind it, and being told it was all a worthless goose chase would have made me vomitously sick! But as I struggled with at the end of Homestuck proper, constant ambiguity shows a fair bit of disregard of its own, and both ending AND epiloguing Homestuck not only without a “yes” on this but without even a clear “NO” has caused me more gutache and poor feelings across MONTHS than either answer ever would have given me. I thought we’d earned that by getting through it, that we wouldn’t have to wait for YEARS and then STILL get cockteased like this. And I wonder how much I’m going to regret, later, that this wasn’t just a clear, simple “NO”.

I’m being told there’s an upd8 just now and I should read it. I’ll get on that. Cy’all.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Liveblog #Homestuck Commentary #Aspect Duality #Theory Policy #Andrew Hussie #Breath and Blood #hs2 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots

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pandawritespoorly · 5 years

Text

With Time: Chapter 12 - Coolest Dad

Author’s Note: Double update, like I said! I'll be back Saturday as usual, though. Reference slide for akuma here!

Chapter Summary: Ladybug deals with an akuma at Marinette's new school.

First | Previous | Saturday

Marinette woke up much later than normal. She could immediately tell that her fever had gone down some. Her memories of the day before were hazy at best, but she was pretty sure Allan, Claude, Allegra, Felix, and Adrien had come over. Maybe Chat Noir too?

Her parents had clearly decided to allow her to stay home from school, which was probably for the best. She sat up, drawing the attention of her Kwami.

“Marinette! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” Tikki flitted up to her face.

“Uh, a little tired? But I think that’s just from the cold…”

Tikki handed her a thermometer so she could check her temperature. As they waited for the reading, Tikki crossed her arms and looked at her disapprovingly, “Marinette, you overworked yourself on Saturday. You probably gave yourself a fever. You have to take care of yourself more!”

The thermometer beeped and Marinette looked at it, 37.7 (100℉). Her fever wasn’t as serious now. That and the heaters that seemed to have been set up probably contributed to the fact that she is lucid now.

When did the heaters get set up?

“Speaking of taking care of yourself…” Tikki draws the girls attention back to her, “Chat Noir told me what you said when you got hit.” Her voice is serious.

“W-what did I say…” How much of a disappointment did she end up being?

“A bunch of nonsense, that’s what! Marinette you are a wonderful and talented girl who deserves every opportunity you’ve gotten! How long have you felt like this?”

“L-like what?”

“Oh Marinette. You called yourself useless. You said all your old friends treated you the way you deserve and are right to hate you. That’s not okay Marinette.”

“O-oh.” Marinette had been dedicated the past few weeks to committing those things into her mind as fact. Tikki might as well have been trying to convince her that 2+2=5. Something just doesn’t add up. “But-”

“Marinette. None of that is true. None of it. I think you should talk to someone.”

“But they can’t know about Ladybug…”

“You still need help.”

“It feels wrong to keep something like that from a therapist. They’re supposed to know everything right? I don’t like the feeling of it…”

“Alright. If you don’t feel comfortable with therapy at least speak to your friends. They care about you.”

“I don’t know…”

Their conversation is interrupted when Sabine opens the trapdoor carrying a tray with a small lunch of soup and water - with some cookies because her parents have noticed her sudden hunger for the treat. Tikki hides behind a pillow.

“Hey sweetie, are you awake?”

“Yeah. Uh, what time is it?”

“Time for you to eat lunch. What’s your temperature? You were pretty out of it yesterday. Your friends were really worried about you.”

“37.7 (100℉).” Marinette accepts the tray, setting it safely on a flat surface. She hears a ‘ding’ from below. Her Maman looks over to her desk.

“Oh, you’ve got messages from your friends! Here!” She handed the phone up as well, “It’s good that your temperature has gone down. Be sure to eat!”

When she’s exited the room, Tikki floats back into view, looking at the phone, she gives Marinette a meaningful look, “You should talk to your friends!”

She floats to sit beside the bowl of soup on the tray. She munches on a cookie and watches the girl.

“Okay…” She opens her phone. There hadn’t been much activity in their group chat because it was a school day. Beneath Claude’s good morning text was another message from the actor. Another appeared just as she opened the chat.

Kid Mime: hey mari are you up yet

Kid Mime: its fine if ur not but we misssss uuuuuu

Patisserie Princess: I’m up

Kid Mime: yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Kid Mime: allan sayd to ask wat ur temp is

Patisserie Princess: 37.7 (100℉)

Kid Mime: thats better!

Kid Mime: hey can we facetime? Itll be easier

Kid Mime: neither of us can eat if were typin

That’s a good point. She’s got nothing against it, but maybe she should warn Tikki.

“Hey Tikki, I’m going to facetime them. Is that alright?” “It’s okay Marinette. I won’t show up on camera and they won’t be able to hear me either!”

Right. She’d forgotten about that. She nods, and starts a call. It doesn’t take long for Claude to pick up. She props her phone up so that she doesn’t have to hold it.

“Yay! Hi Mari! Alright I’m at the table now, so I’m going to prop- oh no you fell over - okay there you are!”

The camera clears as Claude moves back. She can see Felix and Allan there too, Allegra is probably still in line.

“Hi guys!” She waves at them in view of the camera.

“Hi! How are you feeling?” Allan sounds concerned, which, given what had happened last he’d seen her, made sense.

“Uh, a little better. I’ve got food, and the fever isn’t as bad as yesterday. I’m a little tired but that’s normal.”

Allegra arrives at the table halfway through her talking and waves at her when she notices the girl.

“What do you mean by that? I recall Adrien mentioned something similar yesterday, but did not have a lot of information.” Felix looks up questioningly from his lunch.

“Oh yeah. I meant to tell you guys when it became more relevant, but uh, then I kind of overworked all my stamina away? Heh. Basically, last year I got diagnosed with a ‘yet-to-be-identified’ medical condition’” She scoffs at the air-quoted words, and the others get the distinct feeling that there’s an inside joke that they’re missing, “The general gist of it is that my body tries to go into hibernation? I get hungrier in the fall and once it gets around November I get really tired - the colder and later into winter the worse it is - and forget to eat and stuff.”

The others look a little alarmed at this and she quickly adds on,”I mean, it’s really not that dangerous for me. As long as I have food I uh, generally remember. And the tiredness isn’t really a problem as long as I stay warm. I probably won’t actually hibernate unless I fall into a snowdrift or something-”

Just as she finishes speaking a school bell rings. It’s from Françoise Dupont, and it’s a reminder of the consequences of staying home today. She tenses immediately, thinking of all of her old classmates who are right there. Right across the street and heading out for lunch. They’re probably with Lila and-

“What would happen then?” Allegra’s voice draws her back. She blinks as she jolts out of her thoughts.

“W-what?” Oh, right, the snowdrift thing…”I would uh, probably just fall asleep and stay there. My parents don’t really want me to go outside alone after there’s snow on the ground.”

“Can’t blame ‘em.” Allan jumps in. So far none of them have mentioned her little ‘moment’ after the school bell. “We can keep an eye on ya’. Don’t want you to freeze.” He sounds distressed, probably at the prospect of Marinette freezing to death.

“It’s really not that likely! I’ll just be really sleepy, so I’ll probably fall asleep on at least one of you by the time winter is over - whichever of you is the warmest in the room. Sorry in advance?” She says the last part sheepishly and shrugs apologetically. She hates to think that she’ll be such a bother to them, but there isn’t much she can do. She’ll try her best to avoid it.

“It’s all good! As long as you’re not in any danger, we don’t mind!” Allan speaks again and the rest nod in agreement.

“Mariiiiii! You haven’t been eating!” Claude calls her out as he swallows some of his own food.

She smiles in apology as she brings her tray into her lap. She can see that, as Tikki reminded her, the Kwami doesn’t show up on camera. Her phone dings as she sits back. Squinting at it as she reads, she flips it away.

“Adrien says he can’t get away, so he won’t be joining us. Uh, do you guys still need his number?” She looks at them questioningly as she starts on her soup.

“Nope!” Claude chirps, “I got it yesterday!” The others give him some odd looks, but she brushes them off. It probably doesn’t matter.

“Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I don’t really remember much. I know you guys came over - I think?”

“Yeah, Adrien thought we should check on you because it was November, and when we got to your place you were pretty out-of-it.”

“You didn’t like we were interrupting your sleep, it took some convincing to get you to actually drink something.”

“Are the heaters set up now? I recall that we did not do so because Allan feared it may cause you to be too hot.”

She nods, though she isn’t entirely sure when that happened. Maybe her parents? Her fevered mind clearly didn’t think it was important enough information to remember.

Their conversation continues as they all eat theirs lunches together. After a little bit she starts to droop. It’s a clear reminder that she isn’t entirely recovered, and that winter is on it’s way.

She doesn’t plan on saying anything because it would be rude to cut off the conversation. Marinette tries her best to seem alert, but the others aren’t fooled.

“‘Nettie, you doin’ okay? You’re looking a little sleepy there.” Allan smiles at her, cocking his head.

She shrugs and any words she was going to say get cut off by a yawn. She blushes.

“We’re going to let you go now. You need some rest.” Allegra flutters her fingers at the camera.

“Rest well my priceless pigtailed pal!” The group waves as the call ends.

Tikki floats up to her,”Marinette, I know you’re tired but you can’t sleep with the tray on your lap.”

“...right” She moves it safely away before she lays down again. It doesn’t take long for her to doze off.

---

Marinette manages to arrive at school the next day at a reasonable time. She gets to their regular spot in the library and lays her head on the table. The only problem with so many heaters in her room is that it makes the outside seem that much colder, especially when she’s still got a (very) slight fever. She isn’t in her heaviest winter gear because she doesn’t want to seem weird and it’s only November anyways, she’ll manage. Her mom gave her a doctor’s note to show all her teachers to remind them of her ‘condition’.

Honestly the most annoying part of it not being that cold is that she feels tired, but she isn’t sleepy to the point where she can actually sleep. She just feels like she didn’t get enough sleep, even though she spent plenty of yesterday resting.

“Oh my good golly gosh, did Marinette beat us to school?” She hears Claude as he approaches the table and forces herself up to look at him.

“Hi guys.” She can’t muster up the energy to add in the appropriate excitement. Maybe they won’t hate her if she’s still friendly. They put up with her through September…

“How are ya’? I wasn’t sure we’d see you today.” Allan sits at his usual spot and the rest follow suit.

“Yeah. I’m basically back to normal. Just tired.”

“It is good that your fever seems to have passed.” Felix says as he gets out his book as usual.

“It is good to have you back!” Claude gives her an excited hug. He glances at Allegra who is finishing her math homework, “Hey, why do you think math books are so sad?”

Marinette is too tired to try and stop him, but Allegra glances up.

“Don’t you da-”

“Because they have so many problems!” He finishes excitedly, giving no heed to Allegra’s pleading.

Allegra drops her head onto the table and sighs heavily. Felix pats her on the back consolingly.

“Did you hear about that guy who got his left side cut off?”

Marinette sighs. At least when she was feverish she couldn’t remember the puns.

“He’s all right now!”

“Claude.” Allegra pleads, “I can’t do homework in the midst of this.”

“What gender pronouns do you use for chocolate bars? Her/she!”

“Marinette I’m sorry that you had to return to this. There’s no end to his madness.” Allegra has yet to remove her head from the table. Claude’s grin only continues to grow. Allan is smiling as he watches. Felix is focusing intensely on his book.

“Ah, ‘legra. Look on the bright side. At least your music class is your last hour.”

The braided blonde finally sits up and glares at him suspiciously.

“That way you can end your day on a high note!” Claude’s looks at her, the pinnacle of innocence.

“No. Nope. I’m done.” She pushes herself up and packs up quickly. Felix glances at his watch and follows suit, “It’s close enough to first hour. Come on Mari, let’s leave these crazies to their insanity.”

“Let’s.” Marinette pushes herself out of her seat, and waves as they leave the library.

---

Allan and Marinette arrive at the lunch room together and claim the group’s usual table. Felix joins soon after.

“Greetings my great, glorious, and grand group!” Claude and Allegra arrive together, taking their seats.

“Please spare us the puns.”

“We’ll see…”

Marinette is about to say something when something catches her eye. There seems to be a girl in a heated argument with her father. She turns from him and returns to her seat, but that’s not what drew her eye initially. She could have sworn she saw…

There.

A purple butterfly floats near the man’s head. Before she can say anything, it makes contact with his glasses.

Marinette stands immediately, drawing the attention of her group.

“Is everything o-”

“Ineedtogonowbye!” With that rushed excuse she hurries off to be out of sight. As she transforms she hears the screams as people realize what has happened. She sends a text to her partner and heads to the roof to await his arrival. It would be strange for Ladybug to show up so soon, especially when there had never been an attack here before.

It would also be for the best. Akumas in smaller spaces could be extra difficult, especially when the duo didn’t know anything about their powers. It may be for the best to just wait for Chat Noir.

“Hey Bug!” Speak of the devil, here’s her partner. He seems tenser than usual. Probably because the last time they’d spoke- no, that isn’t for Ladybug, that’s for Marinette. Ladybug doesn’t need to feel.

“Hey Chat, I haven’t seen much of the akuma yet. I figured it would be best to wait for you-”

An explosion shakes the building they’re standing on. They meet each other’s eyes and move to enter the building. When an akuma causes damage they prefer to finish it quickly to lessen any risk of injury.

They arrive in the mostly empty cafeteria to see a hole blown in the wall and a few… interestingly dressed stragglers wandering about. Some have leaked out into the street. The akuma is in another part of the school, they can hear his voice echoing down the halls and follow the sound. Soon enough, they find him.

The man Marinette saw earlier has doubled in height, and has had an extreme outfit change. He’s donned an oversized hoodie covered in various emoji prints. He’s wearing rainbow tie-dye converse shoes that double as pants and seem to be denim. There are rips in various places up the pants but the lace cross over them, tying near his hips. On top of the shoe-pants he’s wearing Shrek crocs, and is wandering around on a gold light-up hoverboard. Around his neck is a glowing set of headphones with lights and animal ears. He’s got airpods in and pizza hat on his head. He’s wearing oversized glowing neon shutter shades that shift between different colors - much like the other light-up pieces of his ensemble. The source of the explosion becomes clear when he makes finger guns at the wall and an emoji shoots out and explodes it easily.

They remain some distance away, and he hasn’t noticed them yet. Ladybug sighs tiredly, she almost wants to cry looking at this mess, “Sometimes I wish Hawkmoth was some sort of fashion designer because these designs are just…they’re honestly almost the worst part of this.”

“My eyes.” Chat stares, “As a teenager, I don’t know if I should appreciate the effort or feel insulted someone thinks that is an accurate summary of my age group.”

The emojis that are being used as projectiles don’t just get rid of walls though. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch as an unfortunate student get hit by a fire emoji and and gains the akuma’s ridiculous sunglasses. He announces he must go hunt for ‘pokey-mans’ and heads off, passing a group of bottle flippers.

A teacher gets hit and gets an even worse makeover. She gains ripped jeans and a black hoodie that says ‘I didn’t choose the dank meme life, the dank meme life chose me’ and has a dabbing hot dog on it. She has the same headphones as the main akuma but is actually wearing them on her ears. There’s a golden light-up fidget spinner in each of her hands, matching the gold light-up heelys on her feet. Some of the affected students notice her and begin following her around.

“We must stop this.” Ladybug nods at her partner’s statement, immediately moving to get the akuma’s attention.

“Ah! Ladybug and Chat Noir my broskis!!!! It’d be very dank of you to hand over those swag miraculouses you’ve got!!!1!”

“Sir-”

“Why so formal??? I’m the Coolest Dad - so lit!!! No need to call me anything but your bestest bro!!1!” he gestures around him, “Look at all these Cool Dudes!!! Aren’t they sooo hip with the kids now?? IKR!!! So great! Look at all these savage Broskis, so happy to have people who understand!!”

“Oh dear Kwami what is this?”

“Anyways, if it’s all good with you fam, I’m just going to be on my way!!!” a purple butterfly mask appears over his face, “Nah, chill my mothy pal!! These hip teens will get with the program eventually! It’d be very uncool of me to take from them!!! I can get you your Gucci jewels in a moment!!!! For now I’m going to spread this fetch coolness around Paris!!!! #SquadGoals!!!1!!1”

As he rolls away they hear, “Paris will be the fleekest city around!!!”

“Uh, Is that it…?” Chat Noir turns to her.

“Yeah. I think so.” Ladybug hops down to the ground, looking around. There are several ‘Broski’s around, and some ‘Cool Dude’s. She sees a few dabbing and doing Fortnite dances and turns to see if there’s any civilians left in the area.

“Ladybug…?” She turns at the voice, beside her Chat seems to relax.

Allegra stands in the doorway of a classroom, she’s glancing around nervously, but when she can’t see the Coolest Dad she decides to take a few steps toward the heroes. Behind her are Allan, Felix, and Claude. Chat seems to look at the doorway as if waiting for another person. His worry returns.

“Yes? Is everything alright?”

Allegra nods, leading the duo back to the classroom. Inside are several students and staff, hiding from the akuma.

“We helped all of these people to hide, and we were wondering if it’s safe for them to come out now.”

“It is, though the akuma is still around the school, so it would be best to stay close to a hiding spot.” Ladybug assures her. Chat keeps glancing around at those in the room, seemingly checking for something.

“But, actually we had another question. Our friend disappeared just before the attack and we were wondering if you’d seen her.” The worry of the group is clear and Ladybug wonders who they’re talking about. Marinette didn’t see anyone else when she was sitting with them.

Claude speaks up, “Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’ve only known her for a few months, but I’ve already fallen deep in platonic love for her!” His usual theatrics do nothing to hide his clear anxiety over- wait.

She’s their friend?!

They considered her their-

Focus.

Chat has stiffened beside her, and she jumps in before he promises to find the ‘damsel in distress’,”I’m sure she is fine. After the cure you can find her.”

“She’s hasn’t been answering her phone. We just don’t know if she’s ever been in an akuma attack before.”

“Oh, she has, though I typically don’t see her much.” She really doesn’t want them to be worried about her alter ego. How can she reassure them? “If I recall correctly, she went on a date with an akuma once so I’m sure she is perfectly capable-”

“She what?!” Allan speaks for the first time.

“Wait you know her?” Allegra sounds surprise. Ladybug doesn’t know how to explain, but Chat helps her out.

“Oh that class…” He has a point. Even if she hadn’t been a student in it, her old class has a concerningly high rate of akumatizitions. The school as a whole really, “My partner is correct. Ma- Ms. Dupain-Cheng is a perfectly capable individual, I’m sure she’s fine She took over City Hall one time, so I trust she’s safe.” He sounds as though he’s trying to convince himself along with the group.

Yelling is heard near the front of the school, “I’m sorry miss, but we have to go now.”

They nod uneasily, and the heroes jump away. At the front of the school the Coolest Dad is shooting emojis at several passer-bys. Alya has arrived, but remains out of sight.

When the akuma notices them, “Sup my dudes!! I have got to ask, have you seen my hip daughter??? I wanted to show her how swank I am!!!!”

“No, uh, we haven’t

“Well let me know if you do!!! I’m like high key worried, and that’s the tea!1!!!”

“Oh I forgot how bad it was…” Chat looks so done already, and this akuma hasn’t even been around an hour.

“I will just have to finesse my search!!!! I feel so uber-not-blessed with her missing!!! I wish she hadn’t yeeted away!!1!!”

As he rolls away, Ladybug is suddenly struck with an idea. She catches up to him, grabbing his attention.

“Uh, actually, TBH, my dude-” The akuma looks to her patiently.

“Oh Bugaboo not you too. Please.”

“-I was thinking that your glasses were just so lit. They’re, uh, so swag my guy, could I maybe get a lit-er look at those, um, dope shades? It’d be very chill of you...”

The man looks delighted, and takes them off and sets them near her. Chat lands nearby, not wanting to leave his partner alone so close to an akuma.

Up close they’re nearly blinding, and Ladybug avoids looking at the Akuma’s face, fearing what his eyes may look like under the glasses. Turning slightly to her partner, she hisses, “Chat, now!”

He nods, and before the akuma can do anything, he rushes forward touching the shades, “Cataclysm!”

A butterfly is released, and Ladybug wastes no time in purifying it.

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

As the Ladybugs wash over the city, Ladybug hears a call of “Ladybug! Care for an interview?” The voice says more, but Ladybug can’t hear.

Alya. No no no.

Not here. She’s not supposed to be here.

This is where Marinette came to get away from her.

No no no nononono…

Chat’s ring beeps, bringing her back to reality. The two fist bump quickly, and leave to detransform. Ladybug doesn’t see where Chat goes, solely focusing on getting back to her school.

To her friends.

She lands in an alley, and after a minute of making sure there is no one around, she speaks, “Tikki, spots off!”

The Kwami groans, landing in her purse to eat a cookie. Marinette spots her group and is about to join them when she sees her.

It’s not really a surprise, she knew Alya was here, but she didn't know that Alya isn’t alone. She brought her.

She brought Lila.

The pair are talking with her new friends and nonononono. Now they’ll like Lila too. They’ll turn on her too. She’ll be alone again, she’ll have to leave, just as she was adjusting. Oh they’ll hate her, they’ll hate her.

They hate her, they hate her, they hate her nonononononono.

---

Adrien is standing in Chat Noir’s place. He knows he’s not allowed to miss school and should really be on his way back, but he needs to check on Marinette.

It was worrying enough to have Ladybug tell him that there was an akuma here, but then he saw Alya, and she brought Lila.

She probably thinks bringing the heroine’s ‘best friend’ will land her an interview.

If either of them see Marinette here- oh he hates to think what will happen.

Just when things were looking up for her too. If only her new friends knew what happened, this wouldn’t be so bad. He understands why she doesn’t want to tell them, but he wants her to realize that they care about her and won’t be upset at her for what happened.

“...but actually we’re looking for out friend-” He hears Allegra talking as he approaches the front of the school.

“Come on! Just a quick interview! A first-hand account of Ladybug’s first battle here!”

“No, we’d like to find our friend.”

“What’s her name? I used to work with an international search and rescue group, I could help!”

Before any of them can answer that question, he hops in, “Alya, Lila! I didn’t think you’d be out of school.”

He can see the confusion of Allegra, Allan, Claude, and Felix. They have no idea what he’s doing over here in the middle of the school day. Lila and Alya on the other hand look delighted. Lila latches onto his arm as usual, he stiffens slightly, but she only continues to hang off of him. Allegra’s eyes narrow.

“Adrien, what are you doing here? I thought you had a photoshoot?”

“It was in the area - got canceled ‘cause of the akuma attack.” He scratches the back of his neck. Lila rests her head on his shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eye he spots Marinette and oh she’s seen Alya and Lila. She looks like she’s having an attack. He can’t do anything without alerting the girls in question, but she is not okay.

“Well, if you’re out of school then you can hang out with us!” Alya seems delighted by this stroke of brilliance, “Nino can skip and we can all go on a double date!”

“Doesn’t that imply that I’m bringing a date?” Adrien knows where this is going.

“She means me, silly!” Lila giggles and runs her hand through his hair.

“Lila, for the last time, we’re not dating-” He tries to pull away, but she’s got an iron grip on his arm.

“Sureee, lover-boy~” Alya winks at him, dragging them away.

He manages to extract himself and sends a couple texts to the OMMAM chat, before excusing himself and heading back to school. He hopes Marinette will be okay.

---

Allegra is seething beside him, “Did you see how she was clinging to him?! Who does she think she is?! He was so clearly uncomfortable! Ugh that little-” Claude drowns out her angry muttering when his phone dings.

Adrien: You guys need to check on Marinette.

Adrien: Now.

He sees that the others have noticed the message. They’re looking at each other in confusion, worry clear. What’s happened?

“Oh dear, look.” Allan is the first to see the girl. Claude turns to where he points, his heart stops when he finally spots her.

The girl is crouched in an alley, her hands digging into her scalp, and breathing erratically. He could see her tears from here. The akuma attack hadn’t been that long, but in the time they’d been separated something had happened.

They all rushed to her immediately, crouching by her side.

“Marinette, hey, can you hear me?” Allan speaks clearly, gently resting a hand on her shoulder.

To their surprise, she reacts immediately, looking at all of them panicked.

“I’m so sorry!”

“What?”

“I don’t know what she said, I don’t know what she told you-”

“Marinette, hey-”

“Just- just- just- tell me and I’ll-I’ll-I’ll”

“Just breathe with me okay?”

“Marinette, we don’t know what you mean dear. Everything’s okay.”

“I’ll find sources, I’ll back it up this time, I’ll-I’ll I’ll call Jagged, please believe me-”

“Marinette-”

“Please, oh no no nononono.” She covers her eyes with her hands, finally breaking her frantic eye contact. Curling into herself tighter, “Oh please, not again, not again no no no-”

Her nails are digging into her skin, and Claude worries she’ll draw blood, but she doesn’t even seem to worry. She entirely distracted by whatever has consumed her.

“Marinette!” Allan stresses her name, gently trying to take her hands off her face before she hurts herself too bad. She doesn’t even notice what she’s doing, “Marinette, listen, it’s alright, just breathe okay? Do it with me…”

Marinette doesn’t seem to notice initially, but eventually her breathing evens out. She looks around at them tearily, wiping at her face. She opens her mouth, but Claude beats her to it.

“Don’t apologize Mari. You were upset, nothing’s wrong with that.”

“But-”

Allegra hugs her gently, “No. No buts. It’s okay to be upset.”

But she’s a hero. A hero who fights akumas. Being upset means failing.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Talk about it? Then they’d know. She wants to trust that they’ll believe her, but that’s what she did last time. They don’t hate her currently, so she shouldn’t do anything to risk changing that. She shakes her head.

She feels her purse move strangely at her side. It’s subtle enough that she isn’t worried that they noticed, but when she hears a tiny cough she begins worrying for Tikki.

“Could I, uh, have a moment? I need to, um, call someone?” They nod at her and walk a little ways away. She ducks out of sight to check on her Kwami.

She opens her purse to see Tikki curled up in an uncomfortable ball.

“Tikki? Are you okay?”

She coughs, “Sorry, Marinette, I think I’m sick again. The Revealer…” she trails off into a coughing fit.

Right. If there are consequences to Marinette overworking herself for an all-day akuma, then the same can be expected of Tikki.

“I’ll go to Fu’s…”

Tikki nods at her, quieting herself as best she can. Marinette doesn’t want to delay helping the Goddess, so she prepares herself to lie to her friends again. She hates to think what they’d say if they found out just how much she lied to them.

Stepping out of the alley, she approaches them carefully and they turn to her patiently.

“Hey Marinette. How are you doing?” Claude speaks to her attentively.

She holds up her phone, pasting on a sheepish smile, “Uh, I have to go talk with my, um… mentor? If I come back late, can you let the teacher know?”

“There is no need to rush yourself. They have cancelled the remainder of the school day due to the akuma attack. Take your time.”

“O-oh. Okay.”

“We’re going to my place now, so you can come over when you’re done!” Claude holds up his own phone, “I can text you the address again if you need it.”

“No no. I’ve got it saved.”

They say goodbye, walking in their respective directions.

---

Author’s Note: Poor Mari. So, uh, that akuma... I, uh, it's... unique? Reference slides here? Suspension of disbelief means believing a school's wifi would allow for a glitch-free facetime call. It also allows me to tweak the climate of a major city somewhat. Thanks for reading, and constructive criticism is welcomed in the comments below! See you Saturday!

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#miraculous ladybug #transfer #with time #fanfic #chameleon salt #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #quantic kids #allegra #allan #claude #ml felix #original akuma

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umikawa · 6 years

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Pumpkin

Pairing: Maria Hill x Reader

Warnings: Mentions death, smudge of angst and a tiny suggestive part.

A/n: If you're wondering all of my imagines are for female readers. I deeply apologize for the males who really wanna read these. It's jokey with a touch of serious. This is literally so stupid I HALF ASSED THIS. There's a quote from the office :)) Soft maria uwu. I love Maria and she's underrated in my book so if you know any Maria imagines TELL ME i need some. Definitely not proofread.

Your pov

You get hurt come see me

Her words rang my mind, not surprising though. Steve's pep talk was just terrible, you get hurt? Hurt em back. You get killed? Walk it off? How do i walk off death? The better pep talk should've been like, Try not to die you've got someone waiting at home for you, or something like that. These were some weird thoughts going on because you were currently ripping a robots head off.

'Y'know I'm kind of tired of the whole post apocalyptic series we have going on here.'

'Y/n just kill the damn things.' Steve yelled over to you.

'I wouldn't say we're killing them. More like destroying.' You remarked.

He didn't answer so you just continued slicing the heads off with a blade your lovely little pumpkin gave you. Everyone was inside the little chapel thing, in the center was the supposed key of extinction. Ultron was floating right outside and Thor stepped up,

'Is that the best you can do!' He yelled. Ultron put his hands up and in came, a bunch more robots. You groaned and slumped your shoulder, Steve turned to look at thor and said,

'You had to ask'

'This is the best i can do,' he said gesturing to the many robots, 'This is exactly what i wanted, All of you against all of me. How could you all possibly hope to stop me.' He finished.

'Well, like the old man said,' Tony started, making Steve glance back at him, 'Together.'

And that my friends is how all hell broke loose. Hulk roared, bots were coming in, your stomach was growling, not fun at all. You all were fighting, you were slicing robo heads off like it's nothing, Thor was whacking them with his hammer, Nat was shooting and tazing, Clint was shooting arrows, Steve was... Being Steve, Tony was doing the same, Hulk was... Jeez hulk is tearing them apart. This went on for a while, up until Steve started talking.

'We need to clear out, i can tell the airs getting thin. I'm going to look for stragglers, You three get on boats.'

'What about the core?' Clint asked

'I'll protect it' Wanda intervened causing Clint to look at her, 'It's my job.' Clint nodded his head and went out.

'Uh what about the big guy?' You reminded as you saw him try to attack some of the bots.

'Romanoff, lullaby' Steve ordered. She ran off leaving you two, and Wanda standing there.

'Y/n you get on a ship, Maria would want you in one piece.' He said.

'Oh yeah i know she does, but does she listen to me? No. Do i listen to her? Yeah. So yes i will get on a boat ship thing, but not cause you told me too because Maria did.' You explained pointing and poking at the air. You walked off muttering poud enough so they could hear, 'Be an Avenger they said, it'll be fun they said.'

'Don't mind her.' Steve reassured Wanda then left. You ran to the ships but you heard a little boy, you looked around and saw him struggling to get up. You ran over to him and pulled him up,

'I got you kid, i got you. Hold on okay?' The little boy nodded and you held him close. When you started going towards the ship you heard rapid firing, you looked towards and saw Ultron shooting in the quinjet. You looked down to the kid then back to Ultron and pressed your comm,

'Hey, I love you guys.' You said

'Y/n? Y/n what happening, what are you doing!'

You turned your back just as Ultron started firing at you. The firing passed and you felt... Nothing, no pain. You looked to your left and saw Pietro, covered with Bullet holes, and he fell. You set the kid down and knelt down to Pietro,

'You didn't see that coming.' He whispered.

'Oh no you aren't dying yet.' You said. You put your hands on his heart and felt you powers doing their thing. You had healing powers, not sure how you got them but when you got a cut it would always heal on spot. You heard him suck in a deep breath before coughing. You collapsed next to him feeling to weak to even sit or hold your eyes open. You heard footsteps running towards you guys,

'What happened!' Steve yelled. That was the last thing you saw before... Darkness.

Maria's Pov

When they brought everyone to the air ship i was only looking for one person, Y/n. I saw Steve carrying someone in and the med team putting them on a gourney and i jogged towards them to see if it was Y/n. But before i got there they started rolling away,

'Steve who was that?' I asked.

'It was Y/n.' He said with his head down.

'What happened to her.' He didn't answer. 'Steve what happened to her.'

'She was trying to get a littlw boy back to his mother. Ultron started shooting towards her and the kid, Pietro saved her, but died i guess. She resurrected him and it drained her, she's still unconscious.'

After he finished talking i took a step back, i ran to the direction of the med bay. I looked left and right to find her but i couldn't, i did the logical thing and asked where she was and they said she was in a room. When i got in speedy and his sister was with her.

'This is my fault.' He said. He was looking at her while holding his sisters hand.

I walked over to the side of the bed where they weren't occupying and sat, 'I don't think so. You shouldn't blame yourself, that was her choice i know it.' I said looking at her pale face and moving her hair out of her face.

'How?' He asked.

'She's the type of person who's willing to sacrifice herself for others. I got my firsr glimpse of this when she took a shot to the leg to save a kid. She's reckless but she does it for a reason.' I explained.

Your Pov then it just goes random

It was still dark, i couldn't see anything. Am i dead? Wait, do dead people breath? What the hell is that beeping? Oh wait, beeping. That could only mean one thing, a hospital. I slowly opened my eyes but was only blinded by a bright light.

'Jeez turn the freaking brightness down jesus.' You groaned out reaching a hand to soothe your eyes. You heard people moving and a chair scooting.

'Y/n?' You knew that voice, it was your lovely little pumpkin. You opened your eyes and saw the twins and Maria. You smiled at her and said in a cheerful tone, 'Hey Pumpkin.'

'You're an idiot.' She said crossing her arms, standing up in her disappointed pose.

'But I'm your idiot' You said with a lovesick smile. You turned your head to the twins and smiled at them. 'Hey there kids.'

Wanda smiled at you, while Pietro stood with Maria. 'I agree with her, you are an idiot.'

You scoffed, 'Okay, wow thank you so much for saving my life Y/n i owe you, oh no prob Pietro just wanted to get you back to your sister. Jeez guys i don't need a thank you sure. Just insult me for trying to do something right.' You ranted, turning onto your side facing away from them, tears starting to prick your eyes for no reason. Wanda saw and looked towards you,

'Can i speak to her alone please?' Wanda asked. You heard them walk out and shut the door. She scooted over to you and smiled, 'Hi, i know what you are feeling. You feel guilty but content with what you did. May i ask why?'

You turned onto your back and stared up st the ceiling, 'My best friend, back before i joined shield, was killed by some freak. I tried to do the same thing i did for Pietro but it didn't work, i always feel bad that i couldn't bring him back to his family, to his wife, his kid. So when i did it for Pietro i felt happy that i brought him back to you, i feel guilty because i couldn't do the same for my best friend, and because that if i didn't make it... I'd think that i disappointed my friends.'

Wanda sat there in shock, she could see that you were replaying the day your best friend died over and over in your head. She saw the tears rolling down your cheeks and how you didn't even bother to wipe them. On the other side of the door she knew that they heard her story. There was a knock on the door and it opened, in walked Maria with no facial expression painted on her face.

'Can i... Can i have a second with her please?' She asked. Wanda got up and walked out and shut the door. Maria sat down on the bed and took your hand, 'Why didn't you tell me.'

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from your face, 'I didn't think it was important and i didn't want you to worry about me, you have a lot to deal with.'

'You know half my worries are about you.' She said rubbing her thumb against your hand

'Thanks? I think.' You said confused.

'No im serious, i worry about you a lot because i care about you a lot. Because i love you... A lot.' She admitted.

You reached your free hand up to cup her face, she leaned into your touch and you smiled. You brought your foreheads together and kissed her nose lightly, 'I love you too Pumpkin.' You brought your lips to hers, her soft lips tasted like strawberries. But like all sweet sweet moments, they have to end.

'Yo L/n that was pretty dumb- Oh yeah get some!'

'Tony i swear to god you are such a fu- freaking annoying little shit!' You yelled

'You love me.' Tony sassed.

'I'd love you if you stopped walking in on us.' You complained. He blew you a kiss and walked out. You brought her lips to yours again, but before you could taste them someone walked in,

'Aghhh!! Im gonna kill myself!' You yelled, 'I'm gonna kill myself and it's your fault!'

Director Fury stood there in shock, blinking or winking? 'Wow' he deadpanned, 'Well i guess you don't want to be bothered right now so I'll leave.'

Maria blinked at you, 'Did you just get Fury to leave?' You didn't answer, you smashed your lips onto hers and felt her sigh into it. She pushed you down to lay and swept her tongue against your bottom lip, before she could do anything wink wonk someone had to walk in,

'Oh my god! Can you fu- Oh hey doc!' You corrected yourself. The doctor chuckled and shook her head,

'Ms. L/n I'd ask if you could do that when you get out in a few minutes instead of on our clean sheets.'

'Oh dang Pumpkin hear that? Keep it in your pants!' You chidded.

Maria facepalmed and looked at the doctor. 'You see what i have to deal with.' She nodded her head and handed Maria a release form. You tried ro reach for it but she held it away from you, 'No.' You tried reaching for it again but she hit you with it, 'Y/n, No! You are not in the right mind to fill this out.'

You crossed your arms and tilted your head up, 'I bet you, you can't fill out that whole form without asking me for help. If i lose i will give you the sexy times, if i win you will give me the sexy times.'

'You are worse than Tony.' You gasped and put a hand on your heart, 'You take that back!'

'I'm sorry i can't hear you over me winning this bet.'

You raised your eyebrows, sat up and put your hand on her thigh, 'So you do want me to give you the sexy times?'

She swatted your hand, 'You're obnoxious'

You laughed and fell back, 'Love you too Pumpkin. Hey did you know that-

'I'm gonna stop you before you say anything, and i finished the form.' She interrupted. She leaned towards you and took your bottom lips between her teeth before going to you earlobe, 'I want the lacy black lingerie.' She whispered into your ear. She walked towards the door with a sway of her hips,

You grinned, 'Oh yeah baby!' You threw the sheets off of you and ran to the bathroom with your clothes. When you finished changing, into your zip up hood jeans vans and Maria's T-shirt, you ran out of the room and saw Maria walking off. You ran towards her and smacked her butt, 'I'll meet you at home Pumpkin!' She watched you run off to get home as soon as possible and continued waking. Steve walked up to her with a confused face,

'What was that about?' He asked.

'She lost a bet, so she has to do something at home before i get there.' Maria explained. Steve nodded his head understanding what your bets were like. Maria continued walking, a little faster than she expected, maybe because of what was going to be waiting for her at home.

Masterlist

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romcomathon2016 · 6 years

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Crazy Rich Asians (USA, 2018)

This week on Romcomathon, a special bonus edition! We saw Crazy Rich Asians last night. Enjoyed it very much. You should go. You should all go. Tonight. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. Heavy spoilers ahead.

Predictions: We predicted that everyone would be crazy, rich, and Asian! (We had both read the book.) Then we saw the trailer and further predicted that everyone would be good-looking, and indeed they were — though, this is a romcom, so we would have predicted that anyway.

Plot: Constance Wu is your above-average Chinese-American gal. You know, teaching game theory at NYU, chilling in cute coffee shops with her cute boyfriend, Henry Golding. Little does she know, her cute boyfriend (who loves to play basketball at a smelly YMCA) is actually the scion of a whole bunch of unbelievably wealthy Singaporeans. When Henry Golding invites her to attend his best friend Chris Pang’s wedding in Singapore, Constance Wu happily accepts, thinking, “No problem! I’ll just charm his family! It’s fine!” But oh no, Constance Wu, it’s not fine. As it turns out, Singaporean high-society gossip travels at the speed of light, and within a matter of seconds — literally seconds — everyone in Singapore above a certain income bracket knows that *GASP* Henry Golding, the most eligible bachelor in the world, is off the market.

No one is pleased is about this, but least pleased of all is Henry Golding’s ice-queen mother, Michelle Yeoh. Nonetheless, Henry Golding, bizarrely oblivious, whisks Constance Wu onto Singapore Airlines, into a phenomenally beautiful private first-class cabin, which...kind of forces him to admit that his family is financially “comfortable.” OKAY, HENRY GOLDING. JUST LIE DOWN ON YOUR AIRPLANE BED AND PUT ON YOUR SOFT FANCY AIRPLANE PAJAMAS BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY IS “COMFORTABLE.” (Weird, though, that he never brought this up during the two years they’ve been together. Did he not think that, at some point, maybe he should mention, “Hey babe, my family pretty much owns Singapore. You know, that really expensive place in Asia?”)

Constance Wu and Henry Golding arrive in Singapore; are greeted by Chris Pang and his fiancée, Sonoya Mizuno; and head off, a foursome, to chow down on some of the most amazing food we’ve ever seen in our lives. Just a normal delicious time between some normal friends, right?? WRONG. The next day, Constance Wu goes to visit her old college roommate Awkwafina, whose own family is not too shabby. They are living in a gold-plated house that her mother based off of the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles. So, you know, it’s very understated. During her lunch there, Constance Wu finds out from Awkwafina’s parents — by the way, her dad is Ken Jeong — that a) Chris Pang and Sonoya Mizuno’s wedding is basically the most important event of the season. Like an inauguration or the Royal Wedding. b) Henry Golding is so rich that Awkwafina’s family’s wealth pales in comparison. Compared to Henry Golding’s family, these knockoff-Versailles-house people are just barely making gold-plated ends meet.

Great! Now Constance Wu is even more nervous! (Nice job not preparing your girlfriend at all, Henry Golding, by the way.) She heads off to Henry Golding’s grandmother’s estate, where his grandmother Lisa Lu is just having “a few friends over,” AKA it’s a huge party at the biggest house we or Constance Wu have ever seen. There, Henry Golding finally introduces Constance Wu to the fam, who obviously see her as a gauche American peasant. Which...look, it’s all relative!!!! Michelle Yeoh, in particular, is Not Impressed and makes it very clear through her politeness how very Not Impressed she is. But it’s okay, guys! It’s Lisa Lu’s opinion that matters — and she seems to like Constance Wu! Yay!

Hold on, though. Before we can get further with Lisa Lu, Constance Wu must attend Sonoya Mizuno’s huge bachelorette party -- on a smaller island that Sonoya Mizuno’s family (literally) owns. Constance Wu feels out of place amidst all this opulence, but luckily she finds a kindred spirit in what turns out to be Henry Golding’s ex-girlfriend. SPOILER ALERT: EX-GF IS NOT A KINDRED SPIRIT. IT IS A TRAP. Everyone terrorizes Constance Wu at this horrible party, except for Sonoya Mizuno. And Gemma Chan, Henry Golding’s favorite cousin, who, besides being genuinely nice, is preoccupied with her husband’s affair.

Upon returning to Singapore, Constance Wu lays into Henry Golding for -- well, OBVIOUSLY. Henry Golding is very apologetic, but also, “We have to go make dumplings with the fam. That’s cool, right?” They go back to Lisa Lu’s manse, where things are going okay, until Constance Wu compliments Michelle Yeoh’s ENORMOUS emerald ring. It turns out that Michelle Yeoh was given this ring by her husband, Lisa Lu’s son, who had to have it custom-made because Lisa Lu wouldn’t give her son the family ring...because she though Michelle Yeoh was not good enough. Sound familiar? Yet somehow, this does not make Michelle Yeoh sympathetic. In fact, she tells Constance Wu all of this simply to preface her announcement that Constance Wu is definitely not marriage material.

HOO BOY. Constance Wu, a bit taken aback, gets a pep talk from Awkwafina, who, along with Nico Santos, gives her a Classic Romcom Makeover (TM) for the wedding. Constance Wu shows up to the wedding looking like Elsa from Frozen — but with flowers! Seriously, though, it’s a fab look. Everyone loves it. Except Michelle Yeoh. At the wedding reception, Constance Wu is feeling pret-ty good about herself...but come on, we know this can’t last!!!! Lisa Lu and Michelle Yeoh ambush her and Henry Golding with the news that Michelle Yeoh hired a private investigator to look into Constance Wu’s background. Surprise! Her father, who she had always believed was dead, is not so much, and Constance Wu is actually the result of an affair her mother had. Oh dear. Lisa Lu tells Henry Golding that he cannot possibly marry a girl like this (oh yeah, Henry Golding told Chris Pang earlier that he was planning to propose to Constance Wu). If he does, she will disown him. Constance Wu runs off in tears.

Sad times -- all is lost -- no amount of Henry Golding calling or coming by can repair this damage. Constance Wu just spends days and days moping at Awkwafina’s house until her mom, Tan Kheng Hua, shows up. Her mother admits to the affair and explains that she had an abusive husband. Constance Wu forgives her, uh, remarkably quickly for lying about this her whole life, which...is a bit odd, but you know, it’s a romcom. Who has time for subplots anyway?! Constance Wu agrees to meet up with Henry Golding one last time. He proposes to her, heedless of his family, but *GASP* she turns him down. Then meets up with Michelle Yeoh, secretively at a mahjong parlor, in order to make clear that she could have had him -- but walked away because she didn’t want him to lose his family, be estranged from his mother, blah blah blah. SUCK ON THAT, MICHELLE YEOH!!!! YOU’RE INDEBTED TO ME NOW!!!!!! ME, THE AMERICAN PEASANT. HA HA HA. HENRY GOLDING AND I WILL BOTH BE SAD, BUT MY HORSE IS MILES HIGH!!!!!!!! (...is what we imagine she feels.)

Satisfied, Constance Wu swaggers into economy class with her mom. But lo! Who should arrive but Henry Golding, chasing after her because Michelle Yeoh -- post-mahjong-showdown -- went to him and gave him the ring?! THE GIANT EMERALD RING!!!!!! OH EM GEE, YOU GUYS, IT’S SO SYMBOLIC!!!! This time, as he proposes in a crowded airplane aisle, Constance Wu says yes. Cut to their excessively opulent engagement party, where Constance Wu and Michelle Yeoh share a Look, and Gemma Chan meets Harry Shum, Jr. (Not bad, for an extremely wealthy, recently jilted lass!)

Best Scene: So many good scenes, but probably our favorite is when Awkwafina drives Constance Wu to Lisa Lu’s estate and the two of them are met by two extremely severe Indian guards outside the gate. The guards are wielding bayonets. It’s very funny, as are all of Awkwafina’s scenes.

Worst Scene: ...Weeeell, Ken Jeong spends most of his time in this film creepin’ on Constance Wu, his daughter’s friend, which definitely made us uncomfortable. But, to be fair, we wanted an American romcom starring Asians, and no romcom would be complete without us being a little grossed out. :|

Best Line: There were many funny lines. Pretty much everything out of Awkwafina’s mouth was solid gold. Constance Wu also had some good zingers. Unfortunately, we’ve only seen the movie once so far and can’t quote directly.

Worst Line: Ken Jeong and his son both creep real hard on Constance Wu, so probably something one of them said.

Highlights of the Watching Experience: Well, there’s the obvious — that this is the first (hopefully not last!) Hollywood romcom we’ve ever seen starring even two Asian people, let alone an entirely Asian cast. Plus a fun, fantastic, mostly-Mandarin soundtrack. Some of us may have cried. (“It was not me,” says Alex.) Also, Michelle Yeoh looked FUCKING AMAZING. How old is that woman now? IMMORTAL, is the answer. Also, we, as Chinese-Americans, are obsessed with food, so we appreciated that that common cultural trait was well-demonstrated in this movie, particularly by Constance Wu.

How Many POC in the Film: EVERYONE! EVERYONE WAS A PERSON OF COLOR! There was even one black extra in the wedding scene. We sighted her in the corner and got VERY excited.

Alternate Scenes: ...N-none? Honestly, we thought this was an excellent movie adaptation -- and just an excellent movie, period, which is maybe even more impressive. Yaaaay! No joke, we have already purchased tickets to see it again.

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Worse. The poster is fine, but the movie is better, of course, because the movie was good! It was a good movie! We saw a good movie!

Score: 10 out of 10 crazy-rich-Asian smooches. We never pretended this blog was objective, okay? No, but actually -- it’s a great romcom. If you love seeing unrealistically beautiful people kissing in unrealistically beautiful locations, as we assume you all must if you are reading this blog, you will enjoy this film. Go see it! Support non-white and non-Netflix romcoms! Plz. <3

Ranking: 3, out of the 149 movies we’ve seen so far.

#crazy rich asians #constance wu #henry golding #2018

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years

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“A welterweight main event pitting a big 170-er against a 155er that actually makes sense” UFC Fight Night In London Preview

Joey

March 13th

WHEW! The UFC often is very hit or miss when it runs a show in England as evidenced by some real clunkers (the Corey Anderson vs Jimi Manuwa card) and some really damn good shows (Bisping vs Akiyama, Bisping vs Anderson) and mostly a ton of soft stuff in the middle. This journey to London is actually really deep if somewhat light on name value. Granted the idea of seeing a guy who headlined a PPV (Darren Till) vs a 10+ year veteran of the sport who happens to also be popular (Masvidal) is a solid headliner but the rest of the show is really just a bunch of damn good well put together fights. Volkan Oezdemir tries to snap a two fight losing skid vs LHW's most well rounded prospect in Dominick Reyes, Gunnar Nelson vs Leon Edwards is a FANTASTIC fight with a slight snoozer potential behind it, Nate Wood vs Teco Quinones is a fantastic bantamweight tilt and the prelims are loaded with good fights like Tom Breese vs Ian Heinisch, Dan Ige vs Danny Henry, the debut of well known prospect Mike Grundy and the return of Arnold Allen. An early start time + a lack of superstars means you'll probably forget about this one before the weekend is through BUT I can think of worse ways to kill a Saturday morning.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Nicolae Negumereanu, Mike Grundy

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 3 (Alessio Di Chirico OUT, Cezar Ferreira IN vs Tom Breese/Carlos Diego Ferreira OUT, Ian Heinisch IN vs Tom Breese/Gokhan Saki OUT, Nicolae Negumereanu IN vs Saparbek Safarov)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 6 (Darren Till, Jorge Masvidal, Gunnar Nelson, Leon Edwards, Volkan Oezdemir, Priscila Cachoeira)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Jorge Masvidal, John Phillips, Jack Marshmann, Volkan Oezdemir, Marc Diakiese, Saparbek Sarafov)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 9 (Dan Ige, Danny Henry, Leon Edwards, Dominick Reyes, Jose Teco Quniones, Nathaniel Wood, Danny Roberts, Claudio Silva, Arnold Allen)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 27-12

Darren Till- 4-1 Jorge Masvidal- 1-2 Gunnar Nelson- 2-1 Leon Edwards- 4-0 Volkan Oezdemir- 3-2 Dominick Reyes- 4-0 Nathaniel Wood- 2-0 Jose Quinonez- 2-0 Claudio Silva- 1-0 Danny Roberts- 3-1 Jack Marshman- 1-3 John Phillips- 0-2

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Welterweight- 3 (18) Featherweight- 3 (11) Middleweight- 2 (7) Light Heavyweight- 2 (10) Lightweight- 1 (15) Bantamweight- 1 (13) Women’s Flyweight- 1 (8)

Heavyweight- (7) Women’s Bantamweight- (2) Women’s Strawweight- (6) Flyweight- (4)

2019’s Records We Keepin Track Of:

Debuting Fighters (6-13): Nicolae Negumereanu, Mike Grundy

Short Notice Fighters (6-5): Nicolae Negumereanu, Ian Heinisch

Second Fight (18-5): Ian Heinisch

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (5-8): Priscila Cachoeira, Jorge Masvidal, Saparbek Sarafov, Joseph Duffy, Jose Quinones

Undefeated Fighters (7-8): Nick Negumereanu, Dominick Reyes

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (4-4): Jack Marshman, Joe Duffy

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (7-5):

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- This main event is tricky and I'm wondering if the UFC are maybe expecting a bit too much from Darren Till. Till's 2018 was complicated; he struggled with a weight cut in a spotlight show designed to make him into a big star, beat Wonderboy in a very close fight and then made a quick-ish turnaround to fight Woodley in September, getting smelted in the process. Till has said all of the right things, he did wind up jumping back in at welterweight (after talking about middleweight) and he's fighting a guy who you have to be REALLY special to make look bad. Masvidal is the king of the close decisions and while he's taking yet another road game fight, he's fighting a guy who is prone to lapses in activity who also is coming off his first career loss and in dominating fashion. Stylistically Till should be able to do whatever he wishes against a bloated 155er coming off a 15 month layoff but I think Masvidal is a more than live dog here. There's also a damn good chance this doesn't happen because Till whiffs on weight and comes in at like 174 and Masvidal passes.

2- So we're 100% sure that Askren vs Till is next if Darren wins, right?

3- Often times I'm reminded of an important quote in sports twitter when it comes to prospects. It has many variations but the most common prospect joke is "Learn 'em on Friday, fall in love by Saturday and ready to divorce them by Monday." MMA prospecthood is often a journey of learning, falling in love, violently falling out of love at the first sign of trouble then getting to say "I was in all along!" if it ends positively. It feels like Dom Reyes is currently somewhere between Saturday and Monday. Dominick Reyes has had rarely any trouble in his stroll through the undercurrent of 205 lbs, walking through the likes of Jared Cannonier and Jeremy Kimball before getting a big test in OSP. He pretty much dominated the fight although he couldn't leave with the finish (essentially robbed from a magnificent buzzer beater). Fans aren't judging Reyes by whether or not he can be a sizable contributor to the middle of the division, they're judging by him by whether or not he can beat Jon Jones. As such, there are some folks who think he's going to be amazing and some off the bandwagon entirely. The journey is dependent on what you seek. He gets Volkan Oezdemir in what is the next major test.

4- Why is Jack Marshman vs John Phillips on this main card? I mean I know all of these fights are on the same network and nothing matters but come on now.

5- If I told you that Claudio Silva was undefeated in the UFC spanning nearly five years now, would you even believe me?

6- Leon Edwards is one of those dudes who seems sort of stuck in no man's land at 170 lbs. He isn't a violent finisher, he's not a big talker and he's not a guy who is going to draw a ton of attention in any sort of a fixed market. As such, he's just running through a lot of guys and not getting anywhere a la Santiago Ponzinibbio minus the Ponz finishes. As such, this Nelson fight is BIG for him. Gunnar still has plenty of clout at 170 lbs and while Edwards SHOULD in theory be bigger by virtue of beating Cowboy Cerrone, that fight took place at 6 AM on Fight Pass which is pretty much like running your show on incognito mode. Gunnar is also a really odd stylistic match up for Nelson; the kind of guy he hasn't struggled with in the past but the sort of athlete he hasn't had to face in a run with dudes like Peter Sobotta and Bryan Barberena. It's a risky venture either way for two very good fighters.

7- Even though she lost in her debut, I'm not giving up on Molly McCann. She missed weight and was in her debut which are normally two tough factors to overcome. Keep an eye on her on the prelims.

8- Jose Quinones vs Nate Wood is going to be a ton of fun as Quinones is activity and accuracy over power and pacing while Wood is all pacing, incredibly active with his hands and developing even more of a ground game. This one has some spoiler-ish tendencies to it with Quinones a more than live dog in my estimation.

9- This show feels so naked without a HW fight. Like why even have a show?

10- If Saparbek Safarov can not beat a Romanian can crusher on like two weeks notice then I honestly don't know what you do with the dude.

11- Ian Heinisch vs Tom Breese is a great fight that has some snoozer potential. Heinisch cut his teeth in LFA (and the DWCTS) before upsetting Cezar Mutante in his debut and Tom Breese was a good WW prospect who has all the potential in the world at 185 lbs. Keep a real close eye on this one.

12- Are we going to FINALLY find out the elusive 5th main card fight for UFC 236?

#MMA #Till #Masvidal #UFC #London #Fights #Edwards #Nelson

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nomdy-plume · 5 years

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Have you seen ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’?

It’s a good job I don’t post a new blog every week – I’d have nothing to talk about.

Whereas, leaving it a few months between updates, I have LOTS to cover. You ready? Let’s begin:

Since returning from Texas, I have completed a month’s contract onboard another ferry, after my management were kind enough to offer me a way out of short-term pecuniary disenfranchisement. It was the sister-ship of the one that I normally find myself on and I’m pleased to say that it was the better of the two: the indoor smoking room (I no longer smoke) was a [much larger and better equipped] gym and the gym room was a very plush TV room with a full satellite package.

Given the cricket world cup was taking place during my contract, it was wonderful to be the only person on the ship who wasn’t busy working during the day. I had the whole TV room to myself (about 25 yards from the mess, food, drink, etc.) to indulge in what was an amazing tournament.

On my last two contracts I was playing in the main theatre (in the belly of the ship) with a party band but for a month I was providing troubadour, solo, action upstairs in the Sky lounge – my first contract as a soloist. After an initial knee-jerk reaction to accepting the contract of downloading a ton of backing tracks, so I could provide a range of musical options, I realised pretty quickly that this was completely unnecessary.

Performing 4x 30min sets a night: I started out by planning 3 days’ worth of unique sets, which I figured I could adjust and tinker with until I was happy with how they all worked out. Slow, mellow ones to start with before whipping the crowd into a frenzy with sing-a-long classics later on in the night. I think I had about 150 songs in my solo repertoire to choose from and it’s basically about 7 or 8 songs a set (depending on how long I drag them out for).

It was the usual mix of songs that I know I can play and sing – which work in a solo setting – and a desperate grab for as many other suitable songs which I could learn or which I really wanted to try out acoustically.

However, pretty early in the contract, one of the ladies on security in the port was kind enough to pass on her head cold to me. My throat was soon swollen enough for me to ask my Entertainments Manager (EM) if it would be OK if I just played some instrumental stuff until my voice was better. His reaction – reading between the lines, and the indifferent shrug – told me that he couldn’t care less what I did as long as I was up there making some form of noise for my allotted times.

Now, this meant that the bar staff / bar manager in my venue must have been happy with what they had heard of me so far: they are always the ones to complain if something isn’t working or going to plan. This pleased me: the bar staff have to listen to the solo act over and over and over again, every night for weeks on end, so whereas the passengers might only hear one or two performances, the staff will hear every single one.

They become very sensitive to how good/bad people are in both their playing and their selection of material – normally the lack of it. 150 songs might seem a lot, but that’s only 5 days worth before you repeat yourself IF you stick to playing every song.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I quickly got the 30 min sets down to 3 or 4 songs – only two of which I might sing on. I needed to come up with a few more jazz instrumentals to bluff my way through as the staff were hearing Autumn Leaves and Blue Bossa every night, and I don’t want to drive them too mad…

It was a good exercise in needing to be creative with a looper pedal as well as figuring out which of my repertoire I could drag out for around ten mins with solos before and after each verse/chorus…

It meant that I could reduce the songs on which I did sing down to a select, polished group. It was a great relief to know that I could just throw down a loop and meander whimsically around some melodic lines for the duration of the sets. Audience were happy, bar staff were happy – I was over the moon!

The audiences were a mixed bag. Most were very receptive: in the warm summer evenings, the top lounge where I played was the place to be. Plus it is right next to the open smoking decks – so there have been some good numbers of bodies in, most of the time. They don’t seem to mind me in the corner with a looper pedal just noodling away and I’ve been able to play all the requests thrown my way so far. The German passengers seem extra friendly and receptive – apparently they LOVE a bit of Dire Straits, which suits me right down to the ground because so do I.

As per most contracts, there were times when a small, appreciative crowd were loving everything I was playing – just as there were times when a large, unappreciative crowd couldn’t have cared less what I was doing. In my final week, I was determined to give it everything I had in those final shows – I poured my heart and soul into everything I did. And no-one noticed, cared or gave a hoot.

Such is life!

Some nights I sucked, didn’t want to be there… some nights I was on fire, didn’t want it to end… I had a ton of fun, even if it didn’t feel like it all the time. I also got to head into Amsterdam a couple of times which was wonderful, it’s possibly my favourite European city and I’ve spent so many hours wandering around the canals and streets.

There’s a breakfast café very near the station which always – ALWAYS! – has a queue of about 10-15 people waiting to get in. It’s called Omelegg and I’ve always wanted to know what the food is like in there… all the online reviews say it’s incredible… my lifetime quest to find out for myself continueth…

The party band who were onboard were a nice bunch. They were in the lamentable – but not uncommon – position of joining the ship with a guitarist who was young, naïve and completely unprepared for the contract. However, he was a nice, well-meaning guy and the others didn’t seem to be willing to cuss him out: they were kind of hand-holding him through the contract. Bless.

Bands are responsible for making sure they know what they are doing, are rehearsed, etc. and apparently this kid had known for a year that he was doing it. Sounds like his reasoning was as follows (taken from ad verbatim quotes from the band):

· I’m the best guitarist at my university

· I can play anything and I can sing a bit

· I should be able to figure out / jam along to whatever the band play

I was torn: between admiring the sheer, bare-faced audacity of naïve youth and gobbling popcorn at the eye-widening, car-crash drama of it all. I managed to catch a few of their songs – when our set-times overlapped a little – and it was, indeed, painful to witness.

I wish I could say that I hadn’t been there before, in his shoes (albeit under slightly different circumstances), but I had. All I can say is that if you survive a baptism of fire like that and STILL want to pursue it as a career, you’ve already displayed enough courage and determination/perseverance to almost guarantee some level of success. It is being right at the bottom of a very steep, painful learning curve.

I also loved my Ibanez jazzy hollow-body guitar on this contract, too. I bought it in Hong Kong a few years back (the Tom Lee store there is incredible: an Aladdin’s cave of guitar goodness) and hadn’t really touched it since. I wasn’t sure if the contract would stipulate ‘acoustic-only’ – but that was me being overly cautious. Not only does it sound great – that oaky, woody, jazzy sound you’d expect from that style of guitar – but it plays so much more easily than anything else I own.

And, because you guys are always most interested in the tragic, nerve-wracking, up-and-down drama of my life as a musician, I’ll fill you in on current events.

I’d been lining up a contract for later in the year, back onboard the last cruise ship where we did the acoustic duo gig. This time as the party band, which – although fraught with its own logistical challenges – was at least a contract on the table. Indeed, I had digitally signed and returned it and was relieved to have another 5 months of work booked in to keep my head afloat.

However, the delightful and immensely-talented LT had previously – and both I and the drummer were loosely aware of this – auditioned for a cruise line which paid nearly twice the money for not quite half the work, but certainly a much more agreeable working environment.

So, it was with a sense of dread and doom that we read her message saying that she had been offered a contract with this other cruise line and we weren’t going to be able to tag along. We weren’t going to do the contract without her and we all knew that she was destined for greater things than earning minimum wage with no days off for five months.

So, here I am under fairly intense financial pressures and no work on the horizon. It’s all very Inside Llewyn Davis, which pleases and disgusts me in equal measures. On the plus side, in my attempts to get some sort of a side-gig going, I’ve done some work as an extra on a major Netflix production which was being filmed in Wales. It’ll be out later this year, I’m hoping to get some screen time – it’ll be something to laugh about with my family.

So yeah, there’s the update. I may leave it as long again to allow enough to occur to make it a riveting read… but then I don’t have much on at the moment and may end up publishing frequently as a means to pass the time…

*salutes*

#music #musician #guitar

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luminoustico · 6 years

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For End of the Year Writing Meme: All the questions sound super interesting so just use this as an opportunity to answer whatever questions interest you most

So funny story I put this in my drafts to complete in the quiet time of New Year’s Day, but then I forgot about it completely. BRACE YOURSELF.

A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?

Lies by Marina and the Diamonds, to accompany the latter half of Valse Melancolique. It’s a really good song to show Irene’s POV at that point, especially her reluctance to accept that the webs she’s spun are basically collapsing around her.

“I just want it to be perfect / To believe it’s all been worth the fight,” is the most relevant set of lyrics, IMO.

B. Who’s your favourite side-character from something you wrote?

I really enjoyed writing side characters like Rose and Finn, though Rose just edges it because I’ve been enjoying writing her in Don’t Complicate It. Finn runs a very close second.

C. Get any good comments on your stuff this year?

Sure! All comments are good comments, let’s be real. Unless they’re an obvious troll comment or those “update now!!!” kind of comments. Those aren’t so good.

D. Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?

The artwork of the late 18th century and Roberto Ferri definitely influenced the tone of Valse Melancolique. Many scenes from certain stories were driven by a single image I had in my head as well.

E. Who’s your favourite main character you’ve written?

Though I do enjoy delving into Ben/Kylo’s psyche, I enjoy writing Rey more – she’s more enclosed, and I love chipping away at characters to get to their truths.

G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?

Towards the end of the year, I began to realise that writing can actually be fun like it used to be. I’ve been so aware of the way the world is currently that I’ve been convincing myself that my writing must have a message, or it’s not ‘worthy’. I need to understand that I started writing not to pass on any morals or messages, but as a release and a way to find enjoyment in the constant buzz.

H. How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?

All of those. I write on my phone, on my computer, on pen and paper. Music and no music, it depends. Most often I’m listening to a playlist/album which then stops and I cease writing an hour or so later realising I’ve been writing in silence.

I. What’s your favourite work you did this year? Why?

I’m always tempted to answer this kind of question with my most recent story. But I’m going to be really honest and say that star among the stars is a personal favourite. And it’s not just because of the pegging.

J. What are the best jokes you told this year? Any jokes you thought were funny that people didn’t catch? Vice-versa?

I’m completely blanking on this one.

K. Who have you killed this year? Why did they have to die?

Qui-Gon Jinn (to match with canon), Molly and Sherlock (hey it was a story based on Dangerous Liaisons, and I was reading classical Russian literature at the time of plotting) and Kylo Ren a bunch of times (metaphorically).

L. Which character did you most write about this year, and why do you like ‘em?

I wrote more about Rey. As mentioned before, it’s because I like chipping away at a character’s surface but also it’s because I really relate to her, especially in regards to her feelings of loneliness and her tendency to put on ‘a brave face’. Plus I really admire her compassion and her strength. I envy it.

M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?

Not particularly -- just headcanons and reasons behind why I write what I write. (I’ve never been very good with meta anyway.) I really like it when other people meta my fic, or pick up on something I didn’t! That is an AMAZING feeling.

O. Do you believe in outlines? Show us one!

I do indeed! I love my outlines. For some projects, I’ve got whole folders with docs labelled Initial Ideas, Plot Summary, Chapter Outline, etc. etc. I’ve got my notes app on my phone stuffed up to the gills with mini-outlines. I frequently use my story structure template, which is technically more for screenplays, but the breaking down into acts thing helps my brain figure things out.

P. What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?

When an author relies too much on UST and ruins the pacing. Like, an author drags out the first getting together because they believe that the anticipation is the only thing generating comments. If it’s right to have them bang, have them bang! The awkward morning after is a delicious opportunity for UST -- just a different kind. 9 times out of 10, your readers are there not for the smut because they’re invested in the story and like your writing.

Q. Quote three bits of writing you read this year. Can be your writing, or not.

Let’s mix it up.

“ “Why did you do that?” he demanded as they ducked into a side alley. “What part of ‘keep a low profile’ is difficult for you to understand?”

“I’m a good haggler,” Rey said through a full mouth. She didn’t have any idea what she was eating, and she didn’t care. It took so much effort to chew each bite instead of gulping it down whole. “He was trying to cheat us.”

“You didn’t haggle. You pushed.”

“I did not. Why would I knock him over in the middle of his stand?”

Kylo just stared. “You need a teacher,” he muttered. He watched her eat for a moment, his expression somewhere between thoughtful and disgusted, before taking a bite from one of his own skewers. Disgust won out. ” -- Symmetry and Black Tar by audreyii_fic. (Grumpy smuggler Kylo Ren, spunky scavenger Rey, canon divergence. Excellent.)

“ "Ben," Rey breathes once Kylo's mere inches away. It's the name Luke introduced him with, the only name she knows him by, and he's never bothered to correct her. Why hasn't he corrected her? The question flees from his mind as she closes her eyes and he leans down into the space between them, kissing her full on the lips. It's not gentle, he doesn't know how to be, but she opens for him the way the flowers she loves so much bloom in the sunlight. ” -- the surface of last scattering by diasterisms. (It’s the apocalypse, it’s exactly the right time to meet the love of your life, right? Read for utter devastation.)

“ Rey could spend hours in the Falcon’s inner workings. She’d spent so much time in the belly of hollowed-out Star Destroyers, which were horrific remnants of old worlds, cold and grey. The Falcon is alive, speaking a strange language she’s just about half-deciphered. Sometimes, on days where she misses the connection most and dreams of a boy reaching across the stars to find her, it feels like the Falcon doesn’t want to speak to her. It shuts down. Sparks spit at her, and mechanisms develop odd faults.Today, a jet of steam blows directly in her face, not harmful, but almost like a snarl of 'go away'.

Rey climbs out of the hatch, fetching tools. She works with that fault first.

“I’m not thinking about him,” she promises to no-one but the ship she’s looking after. ” -- If I was born as a blackthorn tree, by me!

R. If you had to rewrite one of your stories from scratch, which one would it be? What would you do to it?

Going to cheat here and head back to 2017. I’d rewrite Two Stars Aligned. What I’d probably do is make it a post-TLJ fic, where Rey and Ben decide to run away after getting involved in a secret relationship, but get shot down by the First Order -- after landing in Giaca, they become embroiled in Game of Thrones style politics and the ruling families, while the Resistance and the First Order conduct searches for them. I’d cut out the weird Force shit and make the redemption arc thing more organic by giving the whole story room to bloody breathe. Two Stars Aligned is actually the reason why I now try to stick to oneshots for exchanges and any anthologies I get involved in.

S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?

Sexiest thing written in 2018... It’ll have to be the pegging in star among the stars.

T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?

Feminism. Females being allowed to be as fucked-up and broody as the men they love, and perhaps, even broodier. Make women afraid of commitment, 2k19.

U. Any stories that took an abrupt U-turn from where you thought they were going?

If I were a blackthorn tree took a pleasing turn away from the initial outline. The initial idea was lots of secret trysts and stuff like that, but I much prefer the quiet romance with a note of hope at the end that it turned out to be.

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.

Huh. Hm. Don’t Complicate It is turning out to be kind of fun to write; when I’m not allowing myself to be crippled by the brain goblins that is (they’re strong lately). It’s a combo of writing a trope/kink I’ve been wanting to write for ages -- A/B/O -- and remembering that it’s okay to have fun with it.

W. Who are your favourite writers?

@kylo-wouldnt-like-those-chips - @conchepcion (every time I think I’m out, she pulls me back in *shakes fist*) - @introspectivenavelgazer - @audreyii-fic - @kylorenvevo - ambiguously - @fettuccine-alfreylo and SO MANY MORE (this post is long enough already!!)

X. What’s your least favourite work of this year?

My least favourite has to be In Cars. It was an ambitious idea, which I didn’t really fulfil, I feel. Curse of being a perfectionist. I want something to be amazing. World-changing! Tear-jerking! I want Vestal virgins to weep golden tears over my words, already delicately transcribed onto ancient parchment by monks. Obviously, that’s an impossible standard, but I can’t help being cross when I don’t reach it.

Y. Why did you write? For fun, for a friend, for acclaim?

During 2018? Mostly for acclaim. It made 2018 a very difficult year for writing, and just a difficult year in general. I’m trying to make sure I have fun during 2019 with this stuff. Striving for perfection is a punishing task that no-one can ever accomplish because perfection doesn’t exist. Contentment does, though. As does happiness. And those should be more important.

Z. If you could choose one work and immediately finish it, what would it be? How would you end it?

I’d finish Sanctum, my priest Kylo fic. I’m split between continuing or rewriting anyway (the rewrite would include relocating the action to the medieval era, around the time Luther wrote that damned essay and pinned it to the church door). But I do know the exact image I want to finish on, which will remain whether I end up rewriting or not. It involves a name, a scrap of material and a rather fetching colour scheme.

Ooh. Cryptic.

#anonymous #answered #end of the year #did i just answer all these q's?#yes #i did #my ego is MASSIVE and i'm so sorry for that #long post for ts

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