#toddler reading

[deadpanwalking]

Could you give us 5 books to read after you’re 30? All anyone online wants to talk about are the books to read before.

Do not answer this, but whoooo the fuck is talking about books that way? What's the meaningful difference between the shit you can read at 28 and the shit you can read at 32? Man, it reeks of Reese Witherspoon's book club, I cannot sanction this buffoonery. Anyway, here goes:

Book That You Never Got Around To Reading by That Author You Enjoy

Favorite Author's Favorite Book by Your Favorite Author's Favorite Author

Book of Collected Short Stories by Author of That One Short Story From English Class That Changed Your Whole Shit in High School

Book That Looks Good by Author You've Never Heard Of

Book You Are Intimidated By by Author Who Had No Vested Interest in Your Self-Esteem When They Wrote It

[morhido]

what is wrong with all of them

[mostlikelyshutup]

these came to me in a dream

[temeyes]

hehe dad!soap likes matching with his kid

[bonefall]

Stormclan is pretty cool, I’m glad they are a direct result of the clans and not Rouge Group 255674385 that pops up like Minecraft mobs at night

Didn’t ivypool kill beetlewhisker? Will they remember it

The mental image of playing minecraft and Darktail spawns on your roof like a spider, refusing to leave in the daylight and making annoying chittering noises, is magical thank you.

Anyway nah, that was Brokenstar. Ivypool killed Antpelt, not Beetlewhisker. I have doubts they're going to remember that though, and if they do, it'll be one of those "don't worry guys we TOTALLY remember the events in our series!" throwaway lines we've been getting recently. The type that's thought in her head or thrown out in passing, but doesn't significantly contribute to Ivypool's emotional struggle.

I think Ivypool's actually the part of this SE that I'm most apprehensive about, funny enough. StormClan's got me pretty excited, but my hopes kinda started falling when I found out Dovewing was going on the road trip. I do not like the story that the Erins tell between the sisters, and I feel like they keep getting forced together to "reconcile their differences" when it would make a MUCH more effective story for the two of them to not do that.

See, what I like about Ivypool is that she's grudge-holding and spiteful. I LIKE that she tried to leverage her sisterhood with Dovewing in ASC to try and make her manipulate her husband. I find the fact she tried to sabotage SkyClan's chances at the lake back in AVoS to halt Dovewing and Tigerheart's relationship, slighting her apprentice in the process, to be COMPELLING.

I ENJOY reading about Ivypool being nasty. Both a victim of the Dark Forest who was targeted because she felt alienated, and yet, someone who has found a way to use Clan culture's most unfair aspects to her advantage. She'll NEVER see herself as the bully she actually is, because in her eyes, she's permanently the underdog.

so... I just have absolutely no desire to see Dovewing and Ivypool be "close."

Every time it happens on the page, it feels like it's Dovewing desperately wanting her sister to not treat her poorly, or believe in her, or just stop actively sabotaging her life. Then, Ivypool realizes this after a while and displays emotional intelligence that feels unfitting for her character, and apologizes.

It feels forced.

Like it's just happening because the authors know the fans want it, and not actually what these two characters would do. You get me?

I don't want to see them reconnect. I want more bittersweet examples in WC where family members have irreconcilable differences, but now and then, there's that little twinge of love, that old spark that you pray, THIS time, could become a fire... but it doesn't. There's just nothing left to burn.

TL;DR I'm feeling overall meh about Ivypool's Heart but looking forward to seeing what StormClan's all about.

[doomed-prophetess]

In HtN Ianthe claims she helped Coronabeth pretend to be a necromancer for over twenty years but she's twenty-two, which must mean she did necromancy since she was one year old contradicting herself in GtN when she reveals she's been doing Coronabeth's work since she was six years old. Did Ianthe lie? Or did the author make a mistake? Or is this hinting that something deeper is going on?

[thepettymachine]

Rob was napping and decided to play hanky panky with Agnes.

This is a game you can't play Davey..

[dazachi]

Theory time on the whole "ADA member transfers to PM" deal and why I genuinely think this was part of Dazai's plan (loooong post):

Based on what we have, I actually think we can assume that Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Dazai, all of the higher ups in the PM, and the govt. are aware of the deal and that Dazai will go back. Here's why:

Prior to Fyodor's arrest, Dazai had been maintaining an essentially crimeless record (and if he does do something morally questionable, he either had government backing from Ango, or was done in a way that can't be pointed back to him).

However, before anything could progress in S4, Dazai purposely put himself out in public to get arrested. I'd even argue that he had Ango purposely release some of his old crimes rather than it being written on the ripped page of the book (and if it was actually written in the book, then Dazai must have anticipated it in the first place because he knows Fyodor would do that).

This idea is further cemented by the fact that Ango, Mori, and Chuuya are actually aware of what Dazai is doing (more than the ADA even). Dazai had contacts in and out of Mersault ready before his arrest.

To make these plans in the first place, Dazai had to have talked to (at least) Mori and Ango. This would have to be roughly around the same time as when Mori and Fukuzawa made a deal. What if all of this was just one meeting?

Because let's face it. Fukuzawa only saying "except Yosano" was such a red flag moment. If there was anyone Mori would have wanted back in his control, it would either be his angel of death or his demon prodigy. The conversation must not have ended there...

Also, why was this deal even created in the first place? I feel like there could have been a different agreement, and this just looks like an excuse to get Dazai to go back. Fukuzawa agreeing with this deal is weird because he knows what the PM is like. Why would he subject his employees to possibly experience working there?

Dazai may have actually purposely put himself up for the taking in preparation to a future enemy that needed him back in the PM- back in his hometurf with all the manpower he could command and to give soukoku the free reign they had once again (without the limitations of the law on Dazai).

So anyway, now we have Dazai with his crimes leaked, which would have been fine alone because it could be played off as part of what was written on the page, but then he kills some guards in Mersault and commits jailbreak, along with several other crimes in just 30 minutes. In addition, he is clearly shown to be working with Chuuya, a well-known criminal, who has also committed several crimes while there.

Say what you will about Mersault security (which is actually good but just couldn't keep the demons on hold lmao), but they would 100% have records of what Dazai had done there. Even if he could be considered crimeless before, he can no longer be called crimeless again now. His actions here are beyond the manipulations of the book. To have these crimes (in France) erased would require the government to have an agreement with another country and to have Dazai go into hiding for some time again (doable, but troublesome).

That leaves us to the fact that Dazai is back to willingly committing crimes and partnering up with Chuuya as Soukoku for an extended period of time. All of these acts are known to Mori and Ango.

This implies that the choice had been made prior to S4, and this is why Dazai could do all these crazy schemes.

This also clears up why Ranpo and Fukuzawa no longer consider Dazai in the ADA roster recently. Not because they don't care for him, but because he is secretly no longer part of the ADA in the first place, and Dazai's safety is now under the concern of the PM.

Scarily enough, this could also possibly set up Dazai as the next boss of the PM in preparation for the next big enemy. One thing some people in the fandom noticed was that Mori had mentioned before that Dazai would become the boss when he turns 23. This fits in the timeline well because Dazai is several months (or maybe even weeks) closer to his 23rd birthday (or he may already be 23 right now). All of this may have been pre-planned for longer than we think.

Also, as a personal opinion on the other possible transfer candidates, they actually have better hold on the ADA and would not function well in the PM.

The PM would clash with Kunikida's ideals (though it would be interesting to have the future leader of the ADA be put in the PM the same way the future leader of the PM was employed in the ADA)

Tanizaki would be a great candidate, especially for his skills (and it would be interesting to have another redhead in the PM hahaha), but I highly doubt Naomi would take his transfer sitting down (Naomi would probably even attempt to join the PM) and, in turn, Junichiro would hate to bring his sister in the PM as well. Tanizaki's entire shtick involves his care for his sister, and taking that away brings him back to having no motivation to go crazy.

Atsushi is actually my 2nd option. Moving Atsushi to the PM would make him learn more about how the PM functions, and this allows SSKK to spend more time building their relationship. Chuuya could watch over the two of them as an aide to Dazai's mentoring, and this could lead to more character growth for Atsushi. Unfortunately, this voids Atsushi's plans to learn how to fight under Kunikida's tutelage, and the "no killing" deal with Akutagawa slightly lessens its impact because they would now be in the criminal organization rather than the opposing one (I'd rather have Akutagawa join the ADA tbh. This would further cement the "no killing" idea that Atsushi demands of him and build the SSKK partnership.)

Kenji is also a good bet, but the PM already has Chuuya, which makes having Kenji redundant. Kyoka would not return without an all out brawl and would actually waste all the efforts from S2. Ranpo would be insufferable lmao, and he is not made for Mafia types of strategy (he's smart! But he is not here for the manipulation and long chess matches. He doesn't have the patience for that when he can get straight to the point), and I'm not sure who in the PM he would have synergy with yet...he works best as a detective.

NOW, I may be wrong, because who knows what Asagiri will pull on us, and all of this is based on what is shown (I'm not sure if we could trust it lol), but this is the theory I came up with based on my understanding of events. Dazai planned to go back, and the tripartite knows of it.

Before anyone says this is a waste of Dazai's character development, I'd argue that there may be a misconception as to what Dazai is actually here to learn.

Odasaku knows that good and evil does not matter to Dazai. Dazai choosing to save people is not Dazai's character growth because he has ALWAYS been capable of that despite his unconventional means. The real character growth that Dazai needed was that there was a world beyond the darkness that he insists on putting himself in, and that he is capable humanity. Mori realized this too by proving the humanity in Dazai by chasing him out with Odasaku's death. Dazai has also realized this, and is now ready to return to his hellhole as a new man touched by the light. He is ready to be a leader, not the tyrant that he would have been without this lesson. Mori just prevented another insane mafia boss from taking the throne.

In addition, the PM has repeatedly been defined as the organization that protects the city in the dark. Being in the PM does not hinder Dazai from saving people (again, they've done so before while there). This might actually give him more power to move around and defend Yokohama more efficiently.

I guess this is it for now. I may have missed some things, but these are my main arguments for now hehe

[ir0n-moon]

When Toki was caught hanging out with Rockzo late at night it's pretty obviously implied that Charles was woken up and called into the room to help handle it

But later in the same episode the guys are hanging out in the hot tub (or playing videogames in Toki's case) while Charles is literally just standing there 🧍‍♂️

The guys are chatting about freeballing and generally pretty relaxed before Rockzo comes barging in. But Charles is just there

I know that the logical reason for this is that the scene needed him to be there in order to interact with Rockzo but I like to imagine that this was one of the first, if not the first time, that the guys invited him to "pal around" with them. They asked him to be there. "Well, what exactly do you want me to, uh, do here?". "Nothin', just come hang out with us". They probably suggested he get in the tub with them but he's obviously much too professional for that so he just remained outside... watching

And the thing is the guys are too stupid to even attempt to make him feel included in their conversation and Charles is both too disinterested and too awkward to try and push it. They cannot even fathom that he might feel left out (he doesn't, but it's still impolite of them). They probably assume he's having as much fun as they are... or straight up forgot that he was even there in the first place 😭

Either that or he's practicing observation like a Montessori teacher. Whichever i find funnier at the moment

[muffinlance]

Got some excellent friends from @palaeoplushies (le website link)

Toddler stole the ichthyosaur straight out of the box and baby has decided the bristlenose is a superior teething toy

...Friends have been made and lost

[id: Photo of a stuffed ichthyosaur and bristlenose plecostomus along with pins of an ichthyosaur, pterodactyl, and archaeopteryx. End id.]

[ofallthingsnasty]

Bill gives off “will fuck you minutes before you have to go meet up your friends so he can get out of it AND have you embarrassed” energy so I’ll love it if you can write that scenario 👉👈

Nothing but facts here 🤭💕 He's such a smarmy asshole haha @flameshadowwolf 😘

fic referenced - please give it a read before you jump into this one, you'll probably need the context.

tags: yandere, heavy dubcon, Bill being condescending as always, breeding mentioned, talk of future knotting, past noncon + forced impregnation + forced marriage, chubby reader, f!reader, werewolf/human, minors dni word count: 3k

You haven’t done your makeup in forever. It’s been at least two months, you think, as you try to remember which of the colors in your little eyeshadow palette is the best for a monochrome look. You don’t really have the time to duke it out with a more complex style right now, especially with your rusty skills - there is barely an hour left until you're supposed to meet Ellie, car ride not included. Your mind sings at the prospect of a quiet evening, with friendly chatter and good food - and you not having to do anything. No needy toddler, no sticky little hands and pouty mouth to rob you of every last ounce of patience and energy, just adults-only conversations and friendly faces. Ellie and her husband Francis are the only members of the pack that are making an effort to include you and you like them all the better for it. You buff out the eyeshadow a little closer to your brows while you try to keep your bitterness down.

That fateful night three years ago had been your D-Day, and everything that followed was just punch after punch to your face - including being shunned by the very community that you had unwillingly become a part of. Of course, the whole pack knows what happened. Three years might have passed, but they still stick their necks together and whisper about it as though it all happened yesterday, avoiding your presence like you’re some bad omen, the hangman’s bride herself. Only Hugh and the Evett couple are cordial, the rest act as though you’re the black sheep of the family. It’s a small relief but at least they treat your daughter fairly well. It might change once her peers reach a mature enough age to be included in the gossip but for now your little toddler girl doesn’t have to play alone on the playgrounds and is invited to birthday parties only her father can take her to.

You rummage through your little makeup bag, searching for your brow powder. It’s probably too old to use safely, but you don’t care as you smudge it into the hairs. It’s not like you have the time to buy a new one.

Out of the whole pack, only your life is ruled by some archaic tradition. You had asked Ellie once about her and Francis and when she answered that they were high school sweethearts, you had quickly ducked into your coffee, ashamed of your own fate. 

Of course, she knows. You’re close enough in age - she’s a few years younger and still bright-faced, probably taking a giant heap of pity in your circumstances. It doesn’t matter to you, you’re just glad that someone who knows about this whole supernatural business is friendly with you - your old, blissfully unaware friends have long since grown tired of your bitter rants about your husband, not understanding why you’re still with him.

Oh, if only they knew. Their not-so-subtle nudges to get you to go to therapy (or to ditch Bill) get nothing but a grim laugh out of you now. No therapist could get you out of this mess, no stupid self-help book could give you the courage (with a sparkle and fire emoji, of course) to just leave. Just leave. God, it’s so stupid it makes you grimace.

Your life simply isn't your own anymore - right down to your name. Now you're just Mrs. Timmons, with a small golden band and his goddamn scent all over you (marking you as his possession). He had dragged you to the altar kicking and screaming, breaking plates and ripping up that gaudy number he had proposed as your wedding dress, but in the end, he had succeeded.

You had threatened to leave once, when Claire had been so very little, to pack her up and go - to the other side of the country, out of the country, across continents - just to get away from him. It had all been hot air, said in a dark moment of despair, of fear.

The solemn truth is that there is no way out of this. No matter how much you screech and fight - you’re not up against a regular man. Behind that grubby smile and dark eyes lies a creature that can track you down with deadly precision and has claimed you as its own, until the day it dies.

It sure is easy to forget when he throws his dirty shoes down onto the couch table or when he smokes when Claire is in the room, when he doesn’t do shit around the house and you get to stew in your anger, ruminate on the abysmal hand fate had dealt you. Then he’s just a regular piece of shit, just another good-for-nothing husband you get to nag and scream at and fume around. But when he fucks you - that’s when he’s back to the snarling beast he had been in that shed. The way he holds you down, even as a mere man, his grip like iron, his eyes feral and wide - even thinking about it makes you shudder.

It doesn’t matter right now, you think. You’ll be safe from his wandering hands and salacious comments in a matter of minutes, able to be yourself and not the always-scowling fury you have been turned into.

Just a swipe of mascara and your purse- 

A soft knock on the door frame interrupts you.

The sound of Bill’s heavy footsteps save you the glance over your shoulder to confirm it’s really him. “Wow, look at you”, he whistles, a freshly lit cigarette in his right hand. “Did I forget something? Date night? Our wedding day? My birthday?”

He laughs at his own joke as he takes a drag and you can already feel the annoyance starting to boil in your stomach. “I kid, I kid. You’re gonna meet with the Everett girl tonight, right? Girl’s night, eh?”

 “Yeah. Francis will join us later, though”, you say, clipped, brushing your mascara wand over the lower lashes of your left eye.

  “That so?”, you can hear him sucking in another lungful, sounding almost pensive. “Sounds awfully nice, princess.” You hum, finally done with your look. “I did invite you to come. If you remember.” A husky laugh behind you makes your brows furrow. “Jesus, woman, what did I do to you now?” You bite your tongue. Oh, you know. You just forcefully impregnated me three years ago and maybe I still haven’t worked through that. No biggie, though. “Be nice to your old man, yeah?”

He takes the cigarette into his left hand and presses a kiss to your temple, then drags his lips down to your ear. His stubble scratches the thin skin that is stretched over the cartilage of your helix and you can’t suppress the shudder. The right hand that lands on your shoulder is heavy and warm as it rubs and presses the fat over the joint, thoughtful but firm. “I have been nothing but kind, haven’t I? If you had ended up with that little freak, you wouldn’t have seen the sun ever again.” Crinkling, dark eyes meet yours in the mirror. 

Evan. You still think about him sometimes, but he moved just shortly after you started showing, too distraught that it had been Bill's kid and not his. You'd pity him if he hadn't done the unthinkable to you, just like Bill did.

“You do know that, don’t you?” Despite yourself, you nod - suddenly hot and cold at the same time. “I keep you fed, I keep a roof over your head, I let you run free, I let you tear up my shit when you’re mad, I let you go to your uppity little bitch you like so much- I think I’m doing way more than necessary, darling.” He mouths at your ear again, suddenly licking and biting the shell, only stopping when you visibly cringe. “I even think I deserve a little something for that, hm? And if it’s not gratitude, it might just be something else.”

He presses out the cigarette before you can even answer, right on top of your eyeshadow palette. Rough hands glide over the nape of your neck, down to your shoulders and settle right underneath your tits where he pushes them up and catches your eyes in the mirror again. “Just look at you, baby. I wish I could ruin all that makeup with my cum but we can’t have you be late for your little wine dinner, hm?” You see your own face twist in shock at his crude words and he watches in amusement, hands already working the soft flesh of your chest. He pinches and prods through the sturdy fabric that cups your tits, rubbing the material between his fingers to appraise it. “Aw, you’re wearing only a t-shirt bra today, aren’t you? Not my favorite lace number?”, he says and squeezes over your clothed nipples roughly, making you yelp in pain. “Or maybe I should be glad you aren’t. Else I’d think you’re dressing up for the Everett boy.” “But you’d never do that, would you?”, his tone drips with something dark. “You’d never betray me, hm?” Your breath stutters. It’s not a question. It’s a threat. “Why, I-”, you gasp, the words enough to shake you out of your stupor. “Why would you think that?”

“Dunno, babe”, he almost croons. “Just wanted to put it out there. In case you got into your little head again.” His hands wander down to your stomach and grab your fat roughly, a deep growl ending the conversation. He buries his fingers deep into you, so deep it stings and you subconsciously stretch upwards, granting him easier access to your neck. He promptly uses it to nip the skin of your pulse point.

“Soft as ever. Makes me want to bite and devour you whole”, Bill laughs. “But I’ll settle for putting another baby in you.” The nails digging through the cotton of your shirt turn sharp and long - he chuckles as you yelp, as you try to wiggle out of the chair in front of your vanity. “Too late, honeypie.” The man who stares back at you through the mirror is no longer a man - he is a wolf again, the same one that sounded the bell for the end of the life you once knew. “Don’t give me those pitiful eyes. Where’s all that fire, huh?”, he snickers, grotesque notes strung together by a deeper voice, by bigger lungs. “Your snippy little attitude. You do know I love to fuck it out of you, again and again.” Your head is pushed down into the wood and it sends your mascara and brushes flying to the floor. He simply drags your face over the vanity until the crown of your head touches the cool glass of the mirror, your legs slowly rising with the stretch. 

You have a hunch of what will follow. “Ass up, sweetheart”, he bites out and kicks the chair underneath you to the side with so much force you can hear it splinter. You’re left to stand on shaky legs, the cartilage of your nose pressed into the furniture. “Good girl.”

You only whimper in response, too weak to struggle against him, even as his hands leave your head.

He shows little regard for your clothes, as little as he had for his in the moment he turned - sharp claws dig into your nicest pair of jeans with little care, thick hands pull them down by force - over your belly, then over your ass. They're left just above your knees as he targets the next layer, a simple pair of cotton briefs. He slices through them and groans at the sight of you - fully exposed, bent over, vulnerable and oh-so-soft.

 "The baby did you good, sweetheart", he laughs and spanks your ass so hard it echoes through the room. "Made you even better. Maybe another one will make that ass even fatter."

  You're mortified at his crude words - but any indignant squawk of protest gets stuck in your throat as he presses his whole muzzle into your cunt.

He licks and pushes and sucks - eats you out so messily that his spit drips down your thighs and you can't contain your voice any longer.

You're rewarded with a chuckle and even more fervor. 

It's too much and yet not enough - his tongue only brushes your clit but he fucks your hole with it so well it makes your legs shake. You don't even register the way his claws dig into your ass, the pain barely noticeable over the mess he's making in between your thighs.

It’s not enough to make you cum but you feel yourself loosening up, growing pliant under his touch. Maybe he can feel it too because just a few precious minutes later he stops, licking his maw loudly. “Could eat you out all day, princess”, he chuckles behind you. “But you got a little girl’s night to go to, don’t you?” You manage nothing but a teary-eyed nod, throwing him a look over your shoulder, that terrifying creature staring right back at you, the man within it clearly getting drunk with the power he has over you when he is like this. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.” He pushes himself into you slowly, but firmly - his saliva mixed with your own arousal making the most obscene squelch. It’s almost a relief to feel him in you after he fucked you on his tongue and you close your eyes, savoring the feeling of him working you open.

“You take me so well-”, he grits out and you moan in response. You should be ashamed of how much you long for his cock, how the years have made you compliant, even needy for him, even though you’re thoroughly terrified of him - but you can’t find it in you to care right now. The shame will come later, when you’re alone with your thoughts again but for now you just want to him to fuck you so well you’ll forget about everything. He starts out slow but it doesn’t last long - it never does. Just a few thrusts in and he’s found a rather harsh pace that has him fist the neck of your blouse to steady himself, claws puncturing the fabric. “God, I just wanna knot you, sweetheart”, he groans and you believe every word of it. “Bet you want it too- Always such a slut for my knot-” You clench around him both in arousal and shock - taking Bill’s knot is such a messy experience, one that would make you late for sure, with everyone able to smell just why you’re an hour behind schedule. “Ah, tomorrow- I’ll fucking knot you tomorrow.”

Your body is dragged over the wood with every thrust, the crown of your head bumps into the mirror every time he bottoms out - you feel like nothing more than toy with the way you’re rattled around. He seems a little extra desperate, probably trying to empty himself into you as fast as possible.

“Right now I’m- I’m- gonna make you stink with my scent, gonna mark you so that they all know how well I fuck you.” How embarrassing for you. Of course Francis will immediately smell it the moment he walks into the door and you’ll have to duck your head behind your wine glass - wolf that he is, claims like this won’t go unnoticed. “So you can’t run away from me-”, he gasps, out of breath with effort. “And no one can take you, either-” Even through your fucked-out haze, something clicks. He’s insecure. That’s why he’s in this form, why he’s so intent on filling you up before you sit yourself down with friends. Why he just won’t come with you eludes you - but that is Bill, ever so possessive, ever so puzzling.

You’d laugh at him if you weren’t currently getting mounted by a two meter tall humanoid monster, if you weren’t so literally fucked right now.  A groan pulls your attention back to the creature you call your husband. “Oh fuck, babe-”, Bill moans behind you, his pace getting even faster. It grates your insides, your body trying to keep you lubricated as he pounds you. Spittle flies through sharp teeth and lands on your ass as he unabashedly lets his maw hang open, too blissed out to care.

“I’m gonna cum, oh shit- Shit-”, he says and loses himself in a string of curses, trying to fuck you as you deeply as he can, rutting into you with so much force you’re scared the mirror is going to break off the vanity. “Fucking take it-”

The snarl he lets out isn’t human anymore, as are the claws slicing into your scalp, the sudden grip keeping you in place. He shudders violently as he pumps you full of his load, hot and wet. The feeling is enough to wring a throaty moan out of you - not enough to make you cum, but enough to make your legs shake and clench around him. “Damn…” Bill wheezes into the silence that follows, hands still iron on your skin. You slump into the wood beneath you, sweat-slicked and high-strung. He laughs as he hears the thump of your forehead against the vanity. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me go before my time with that pussy.” You don’t answer, already irritated with him again. “Well-”, he coughs and takes his hands off you, sounding much more composed. “Looks like you need to start over with your little look.” His words make you gasp and paw at your face, the sticky smudge of mascara palpable on your cheeks. You don’t need to turn your head up to the mirror to tell that you’re back to square one, that you’ll be late, with a dripping cunt and hastily scrawled on makeup. Your arousal is gone in an instant, replaced by hot rage burning its way through your stomach for good. A pat on the head and a content sigh behind you make it boil over, make you clench so hard you actually push him out of you. It’s laughed away, either mistaken for the wrong emotion or simply ignored. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, your old man will make it up to you tomorrow.”

[natelia-aldelliz]

"зайчик, we have a problem" Nikolai says, opening Price's office's door.

The Captain sighs and doesn't lift his head, focused on trying to decipher the last report from Soap and Roach. Never again he sends them out together, he swears to himself. Not without a chaperone.

"Are we at war?"

"Eh," Nik hesitates, making Price frown and finally lift his head to look at the man.

He has a child in his arms. A black kid, barely more than a toddler. "What the - Nik, who's that?"

"Ah, this is part of the problem," Nik says with his heavy accent, sending a smile towards Price. "Say hi to Cap, Kyle."

The child frowns at him, buries his head shyly in Nik's shoulder and mutters a little 'hi' from his hiding space. Price doesn't understand.

"Uh, hi?" he says back, sending a confused look towards his lover.

"It's Gaz," Nik explains. "Like I've said, we have a situation."

A 'situation' is a bit of an understatement, in Price's eyes. He's surrounded by toddlers, his chain of command decimated, with no explanation and no solution. And if he thought they were a handful as adults, well they're worse as children.

Even Gaz got over his initial shyness and is running around, screeching with Soap. The only one who's calm is Simon. But it's not for a good reason, and it breaks his heart to see him almost cowering in the corner, panicked at the idea of not being home and his father being angry at him for that.

"Psst," a little voice interrupts his thoughts, accompanied by taps on his knee. He looks down at Roach, who's staring at him with a grin. Oh god, what now.

"Yeah?" he asks, fearing the worse.

"I caught a bug," Roach whispers like a secret.

Price looks down at his empty hands and feels the dread rising in him. "That's uh, that's nice, did you want to show it to me?"

Roach shakes his head. "I can't," he keeps on whispering. "I ate it."

Oh god.

The child looks so fucking proud of himself too. Price is lost. If he had wanted children, he would have had them, honestly. Apart from his sexuality and work overload, nothing kept him from just going out there and making a baby with someone. The thing is, he never wanted kids. He has no idea what to do!

"I'm gonna bite him," Roach whispers again, pointing towards Simon.

This is a nightmare, he thinks as he looks at the child making his way towards the poor unsuspecting kid. Soap has started climbing him like a mountain, claiming to Gaz that there's a treasure at the top, encouraging him to start climbing his arm as well.

And Nik is just taking pictures. If he wasn't the only one here that had some idea of what to do, he'd have strangled him.

Soap suddenly stops moving, sitting on his shoulder with his arms on top of his head, and Price barely catches him as he falls, sound asleep, and Gaz starts crying that he doesn't want nap time.

Suddenly he regrets complaining about that report. He'd take a hundred of them over this right now.

[cordycepsbian]

team snakemouth gijinka but more of a Fantasy™️ au than just regular humans. featuring our spin on the concepts of halflings and dwarves where they are creature animal. and leif is uh ??? the horrors

bonus doodle

[cdroloisms]

c!Sapnap was never a good friend to c!Dream and the fact that he insisted that he wanted c!Dream to get better and that he had his best interest in mind while also threatening to kill him if he ever escaped was crazy.

c!sapnap is soooo. so. like i think whats really interesting to me about him too is how personal the way he looks at all of this is--he's mad that c!dream slighted him and slighted him personally, he personally feels used and betrayed, and that's why he's mad and doing all of this. it's not really about a greater moral compass bc [looks at c!sapnap] UHHH THIS MAN DOESNT REALLY HAVE ONE. soundly chaotic evil like holy shit. his love for c!dream is so deeply rooted in possessiveness and it's just ... c!sapnap and the way he sees like, everything, honestly is so fucking like. like. it's about him and the people he's deeply connected to and that's It. he's immature? and well, uh, aggressive and emotional and unpredictable, and he's never really been a character motivated by righteousness as much as he's driven by what he thinks of as his right. the death pact with the revive book/death book and saying that hed kill dream and then george would just die without them both was really just, so. So.

[thefluffystuffiesystem-daycare]

♡Baby/Toddler Regressor Pinkie Pie Stimboard♡

🍼 🩷 🧸-🍼 🩷 🧸-🍼 🩷 🧸

[thesims2comics]

Ripp reading a bedtime story for Buck :)