#today i felt fine
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You're written in my soul,
It's your blood that I bleed.
Wherever you are, wherever I'll be...
I'll save you a seat
#today i felt fine#it was a pretty good day#I've been ok with the holiday this week#until one of my clients brought up how all she was looking forward to was the deviled eggs her mom makes#and that was the stupid thing that set me off this time#because this year you won't walk in#give me a kiss#and demand your “Satans eggies”#i won't get a big kiss on the face for making grandma's green bean casserole just the way she made it#we're not gonna have our annual post dinner sibling cuddle pile and our nap until dessert#i won't get to watch you running all the kids down while you play football#wont get to listen to you and aaron argue over who is better#the ducks or the bears#i hate this so much#i miss you so fucking much kid#idk if i can do theae holidays without you
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More context :0 purely because grandma asked so nicely. @midnightstarshadow hihi contribution for u :3 even if we barely talk I still care ab u so much, so have this as a treat for the moment
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Personally not too fond of this. Struggled to make nightmare more broken >:( now if there'll be more context? Not likely. Maybe, but not likely
#sans au#utmv#undertale au#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#passive nightmare sans#guess who lost all their powers after relentlessly abusing insane murderers#the bad sanses#bad sanses#murder time trio#it's not so easy to draw horror w expressions :/#horrors got the insane crack. killers got the unstable soul and wide smile. what does dust have you might ask?(no one asked)#well the answer is you'll probably never know#comic#I've felt pretty bad today. got comforted by oobja on Roblox tho so I'm fine#goofy ahh name#I want to talk more but meh. I dunno
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn��t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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my philosophy going into the dentist is "Just hurt me. Just make me suffer. Whatever... I don't care...." and it seems to get me through it fine
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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I saw someone remark somewhere that for the past few years Rick has been writing for his fans rather than his story. The books he's written as of late have been eaten up by manly long-term readers who love this series, but rather than continuing the story and exploring the characters more, he's just giving a bunch of random adventures with no real consequences or substance, more fanservice than story.
see i've heard similar claims. and i could see that for tsats, because of just how heavily he (or mark) leaned into popular fandom interpretations for it, but i don't know how well that justification for these books can hold up the further we get into this new wave of the riordanverse. because no, you're right, there isn't much story at all for a 300+ page book. but there is also so little consistency of characterizations and the universe as a whole.. and i just question how any long-term fan of said characters/universe could see that and appreciate it (despite said fans suposedly eating it up which just.. baffling tbh).
idk i guess what i'm saying is.. if it's fanservice. it's tacky. it's cheap. it's like.. going into a party city for a yankees cap for an annabeth costume instead of using a legit quality hat with the real logo on it. there's this facade of making it for the fans without the followthrough of actually caring about the fans. if fanservice is meant to please the fans of that media, i feel like the right way to go about it would be to use said media as a base level and spin into inconsequential fluff from there. make it fun, but not at the cost of the integrity of the media people have clearly loved for so long.
#i hope this came off well.. my brain has been working on half capacity at best today#basically.. i'd be fine if it was a no consequences story if it actually felt like fanservice#<- i think thats what i mean#anon <3#asks#pjo#wottg#rr crit
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HIP HIP HOORAY!!! Haven't posted traditional art in ages bro...
#before anyone says anything ik she technically has two birthdays cuz Beth reckoned herself lol... so whichever date you celebrate is fine!!#I just felt like drawing her today that's all hehehehe#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#dungeons and daddies podcast#dungeons and daddies fanart#dndads fanart#dndads season 2#scary marlowe#dndads scary#dndads scary marlowe#traditional art#highlighter art#honartzz
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Variant cover for Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu (Vol. 2/2024), #1 by Aka.
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu vol. 2#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu 2024#Moon Knight comics#let’s get this other bread#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#and is that#Khonshu#?….punk#don’t mind this; personal ramblings below#the only benefit to getting unseated from a horse#and hitting your head (giving you the fun combo of mild antero- AND retrograde amnesia) AGAIN#(shhhhh don’t worry about it I’m fine…my memories are coming back…mostly alshdksj)#is that it felt like I got to read this comic for the first time again today hahaha
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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WHAATT ??? SPOOKY MAKING ACTUAL ART AGAIN ??? thiz iz insane
★ version without text + image based on under cut :
★ song : "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" – Dobu no Awa
#wowza thiz one waz kinda really super mega hard#the background waz a huge pain to make but im actually so proud of how it came out#i felt like i needed to unwind after today . especially cuz tomorrow will be a million timez more stressful . but instead i made thiz ://#ive had thiz song stuck in my head for a few dayz and wowza i needed to make smth based on it – just had to get it out of my system#also i finally drew colin again !!!! featuring some kind of important lore related stuff !!!!#young colin !!!! wow !!!! feast your eyez upon him !!!!#.....#oh who am i even kidding#nobody will care about thiz#nobody botherz with what i make anymore#why should i#itz clear that i have to give up on making mediocre art and instead focuz on getting a good job – i have no worth az a living being anyway#so might az well make myself useful ...#i have no redeeming qualities – everyone i know doezn't care for me and thatz ok#itz fine#i don't mind#some of us need to be the primary pick for natural selection anywayz#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#bro itz literally midnight i should be sleeping#what am i doing with my life bro – a time such az thiz should be dedicated to studying . not for mucking around#im such a failure child#sigh
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day 1246
#amphibian#salamander#axolotl#how i felt submitting my taxes a solid almost month before the final deadline today#the average citizen here just gets a paper with what info the government has on your income and how much taxes you paid#and all you have to do is sign it to say you think all is correct#now I had to actully manually do stuff because im self employed but it wasnt too scary#<- lying i had a big panic about it but i asked my mom for help and read a bunch of info on the taxes website and its fine now :)#and next time it wont be scary because i actually know what to do#i hear every american has to do their taxes like manually regardless of employment type? thats wack im so sorry for you guys#if thats true#if so heres your reminder to do them taxes if youre still reading the tags
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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"
ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️
#rye.txt#I'll be fine lol#the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad#so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow#god. what the hell did I even eat#leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad#(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that#hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad#otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food#BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg#ough. why can't I be normallllll#I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person#and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague#but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone#I don't knowwww i don't know#I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies#ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE#(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working#and I didn't have a physical key to use#so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head#and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family#which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them#anyway. today was sort of shitty#but mostly I only have myself to blame#did not structure my day well enough
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guess who’s been editing kengan omega panels like a crazy person. im so picky with how gaolang is drawn its not even funny, and this is where it got me. my fav gaolang era is KAT round 2, and i mostly referenced that to make these edits (and some of KVP round 1) my big issue is that his face doesnt even look like his anymore???? he used to have a very straight long nose and i feel like in recent chapters its so short (among other things). I ALREADY KNOW daro is on a schedule but im not lol so i can take my time with him if you read more i did most of the gaolangs in chapter 260. my version is the one on the right
#my edit#kengan ashura#kengan omega#gaolang wongsawat#kaolan wongsawat#first and foremost these edits are for ME. it is for MY pleasure#i noticed that sometimes his eyes completely white out during his fights and i actually really like that so a couple panels feature that#whenever his face goes into a 3/4th angle i hate it literally what happened he used to look fine but now its so slanted#and his mouth is too long and okay thats enough hatred for today#actually one more while im a fan of muscles i felt like it was getting absurd i tried to make him less roided out
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dawg I hate therapy why don't I get jawdroppingly depressed when I need to let someone know
#talkin to a therapist and actually turns out im fine and not depressed and the world is sparkles and rainbows and ive forgotten every bad#thing ive ever felt 😭#in there like i swear i have issues i just cant explain them and you have to believe meeeee#kae.txt#i had a bad day today but it ended up better and im going to forget the specifics im just gonna know i 'felt bad'
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since ive already been pretty open about this and im not afraid to whack a hornets nest i'll go ahead and say it: if you were raising a kid in a pseudo-apocalyptic setting and then you found out that said kid was going to be the one to defeat the eldritch god that you have tried to defeat for half your lifetime and could never manage. that she was going to FACE that eldritch god it was prophesied. you would teach her how to defend herself and how to fight. like god i am not saying hero's trauma from it wasn't justified because i do think the twins took it too far but the initial process of training her makes so much more sense if you approach it at the angle of "this kid is going to do something we've been trying to do since we were twelve and couldn't manage and we might not even be there to help her so we have to make sure she doesn't die in the process" and not "we're going to make her fix our mistakes" it makes sense. goes along with lark's running theme of not being strong enough in the moments that matter and wanting to make sure nobody else ever feels as helpless as he did when walter was injured. goes along with sparrow desperately tempting fate with normal's name- not because normal was an accident, but because sparrow never wanted to lose even one kid to the doodler and it was a fervent, desperate wish to let normal get to be normal
#dndads#kasey rambles#sorry im feeling especially spiteful today#cause again i do think. the twins get the least amount of nuance from the fandom#tell me how yall were just fighting for glenn so hard and then you turn around and tell me that the twins are evil monsters skahsdkfhkdhsf#like idk. it makes sense to me!#if hero was supposed to fight the doodler but they dont know WHEN it would happen. theyd train her early#make sure it was a fight she could win#and thats also why shes NOT in the chosen one position anymore#she wanted to leave and now that she could reasonably defend herself should she be threatened. its fine!#if they really only wanted her to fix their mistakes she would not have been allowed to leave. lmao#again this isn't to say that she wasn't traumatized from the experience like.#i think the twins shouldve been honest with her and there shouldnt have been so much pressure#but i get why they felt the need to make sure she could handle herself in a fight so early on#also like. this kind of thing happens in so many post apocalyptic settings its not even uncommon#yall just dont see this world as being post apocalyptic and it shows LMAO
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