#tobirama vs parenting

[narutomaki]

thinking about orochimaru in a dress

I am unwell

[princeofuchiha]

Half baked au thats been floating around my head for months:

Hatake!Tobirama AU where different packs have different wolf-isms / abilities. And the pack Tobirama's mother was from had the ability to shapeshift.

Only. Tobirama lost his mom at a young age, leaving him without anyone to guide him or you know. Warn him at all.

So when he is badly injured in a fight and his adrenaline takes over, pushing him into his wolf form in one last ditch effort to survive, he has no idea how to handle it.

What he double doesn't know how to handle is Izuna, who finds him half dead and goes "Oh my god, it's a wolf puppy. I bet if I heal it it'll love me and I can have my own summoning contract way before everyone else my age!! That silver haired freak will never see it coming."

Que Izuna dragging a half dead Tobirama back home, tending to his injuries and hiding him from his parents and brothers because he knows they'll never let him keep him. Splitting his rations going I'm A Genius. I Get A Pet And A Weapon. Dad's Going To Be So Proud. Eventually.

Meanwhile Tobirama is trying with everything in him not to bite the one thing keeping him alive (his bastard rival) while trying to figure out how to escape / listening for intel.

Him spending time in the house waiting for the other shoe to drop. And being absolutely bewildered when Tajima is. Not the best parent by any means but like. Certainly better to his kids up front vs the shit he's used to dealing with with Batsuma. And Izuna and Madara. Honestly aren't as evil incarnate as he's been raised to believe.

He's watching Izuna run into the room and all but throw himself on the bed absolutely livid that the adults won't let him join them on their upcoming hunt. And opting to do the most reasonable and mature thing - rant to the wolf puppy with a leg too broken to run away and ignore him.

He's watching Madara sneak in and out of the house each night, horrified and outraged to smell Hashirama's scent on him every damn time he comes home. Usually with a stupid giddy grin he's shoving down.

He's watching Tajima walk circles around the compound when he can't sleep, sharingan whirling with protectiveness of all things as he watches over his sleeping clansmen.

He's watching day by day with the horrible realization that the Uchiha truly are Human. Growing attached to the warmth they radiate while also. Not able to go a full 24 hours without considering biting someone.

[ayyyez]

For whichever Naruto characters you'll get inspiration for: how do they think they would do babysitting vs how they actually do. Who'd be overconfident and fail miserably? Who would avoid it at all cost but turn out amazing? Who is bad with kids and knows it? Who'd be a supernanny?

A/N: oh yeah, sure thing my friend! These were fun to do. Thanks for sending in a request!

TAGS: babysitting headcanons, fluff, soft headcanons, hehes, gremlin Madara

CHARACTERS: Neji Hyuga, Shisui Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara, Madara Uchiha, Tobirama Senju

NEJI HYUGA: Okay so genin Neji would not be thrilled at the prospect of babysitting. He'd also be a little cocky thinking he'd have no problem wrangling a bunch of kids. He underestimates these trouble makers however and has a woeful time dealing with their "backtalking" and "incessant questioning of authority." That's him— he's the authority. Neji sweetie they're kids. Won't lose them though with his Byakugan and kind of scares them into behaving with his demeanour.

Teen/Adult (Jonin) Neji now is a lot more mellow and less harsh. He's going to be a lot softer and understanding. Is actually less confident with the task but does a lot better. Bends down to the kids level to talk to them. Treats them the same way he does adults in the way he talks to them but his tone his gentler. Is patient with their questions. Reads to them. Teaches them life lessons.

Don't tell anyone but he gives them piggybacks.

SHISUI UCHIHA: The best damn babysitter you could ask for and he knows it too. If you tell him though he'll get all bashful about it. He's so good with kids! Talks and plays with them like he is one. Being around kids helps him reset and forget his troubles. He can't help but want to protect them and their childhoods. Because of this just wants to show them the best time.

Kind of sneaky about the games he teaches. The games teach them strategy and how to think on their feet. Real world shinobi skills to help them learn how to hide and escape if they ever need it. Shisui also picks the littler kids up and zooms them around. Piggyback rides and races. Rolling down hills. Lots of laughter and fun.

Always letting the kids win and encouraging them when he can.

SHIKAMARU NARA: Doesn't matter when this is Shikamaru's always going to think it's going to be a drag babysitting. He's going to look for the easiest way to mind these kids. Think smarter not harder is his motto. Doesn't think he'll do a terrible job nor exceed expectations. He's there to tick a box. What he doesn't expect is to be kept amused by the kids. Having back and forth banter. The kids telling him "jokes" and stories.

Ha. So maybe babysitting isn't so bad. The kind of babysitter who is like 'Alright, I'll give you some treats if you don't tell your parents.' Totally has a secret pact with the kids. Teaches them all sorts of cool things. As long as they don't have to go anywhere or do anything too annoying.

The kind of babysitter the kids think are cool.

MADARA UCHIHA: Do not let this man babysit your kids. He's a terrible influence (affectionate). I don't mean big bad Madara either I just mean regular gremlin Madara. He's going to have your kids running wild and promoting their chaos. He has a complex where he both thinks he's the best babysitter in the world and thinks he's also going to fail big time.

Okay in all seriousness though he's good for kids who have a lot of energy and need to run around. He'll match their energy and do what they need to do to get all of that out. Won't bring any negativity to the table either. Just encourages them to go go go. And is behind them the entire time. Doesn't care about the mess either. Those kids want to roll around in mud? Alright mud fight it is. It's war baby. Takes those wargames very seriously. The kids call him sir and everything lol.

He encourages chaos in order to keep that watchful eye on them. He actually does an alright job.

TOBIRAMA SENJU: Great teacher. Terrible babysitter. Terrible with teensy children. Good with school level children in a teaching environment. But he just can't babysit. He's so bad with children that aren't his own or his students. He's just so awkward. You know how people hold toddlers like they're wild creatures with their arms completely stretched out in front of them? That's him holding them.

Everything becomes lectures when he talks to them and he's so theoretical and awkward at connecting and knows it. He honestly chooses to just not babysit.

I want to point out though he is really good at teaching children when they're his students. When they're old enough to somewhat take care of themselves and he just has to teach them the rest and theres time to make a connection—he can't explain it—it's just different. Like tweens he's good with tweens. Genuinely enjoys seeing the next generations flourish he just doesn't have those babysitting skills.

[narhinafan]

Crack shipping is stupid af-no shipping is stupid. why should we care about which character marries who. Look dbz may have a toxic fanbase bit at least most of these fucks don't give dog craps about who's vagina Goku/Vegeta fuck and even then they don't take the GokuxVegeta as seriously as SnS do because there isn't anything pointing at them being gay or having feelings for each other which sns love to but that ship dies with one panel where Naruto is disgusted by kissing Sasuke and disgusted again when Kurama reminds him of it.

Back to the point. I said shipping is stupid because in the end it's the author's choice to have a character fuck another example chokarui who the fuck thought of that? It makes people forget what the story is even about like that one fuck who thinks Sakura is an example of hardwork when it's Fucking talent. Naruto is hardwork and even then the show is about friendship not that, the plot of H vs T is only with Lee not everyone anyways and that people don't understand how Underdogs fucking work. A good example is Goku vs Frieza because at first Goku was being beaten the shit out of him making him an underdog. Underdog is the character who's at an disadvantage which Naruto is always him being jinnchuriki and Minato's son didn't make anything better it just made it worse for him socially and mentally because he couldn't know who his parents fucking are.

Heck actually thanks to fucking Hinata did his social position even change. In the chunin exams when he defeated Neji is when everyone acknowledged him and it was thanks to Hinata."But everyone could have cheered him up" no Maybe Sasuke and Lee could but no Shikamaru doesn't know Naruto much at this point Sakura has the emotional maturity of a teenager (I don't hate her but saying she could give Naruto that kind of speech that Hinata gave him is like saying a veterinarian can cure testicular cancer, Sakura barely understands him and doesn't know how it feels like to be a failure like him ,Lee and HINATA are.) Jiraiya could but where the fuck was he. Kakashi is always late (they're my favorite character with Tobirama) Lee only could because he's a failure and Sasuke is a 50/50 you take your guess if he'll make it better or worse considering his inferiority to Itachi.Back to what I was saying, thanks to him upper cutting Neji did the Village's people start seeing him in a different light, they acknowledged that He's strong and Maybe not that bad. Did Sasuke/Sakura do that? No because again Kishimoto wanted fucking NH and I'll always point to that because of Hinata interfering in pain that Naruto met his Dad and defeated Pein and was named Konoha's hero/child of miracles of some stupid shit he probably doesn't care about as of now. Did Sakura go there and help him. No she didn't so stfu. Kudos to Kurama because he too helped in those times where his powers had a positive effect on Naruto's status (defeat Neji and Nagato) so my heart goes to that silly Fox .My point is that Hinata (with Kurama) had a very positive impact on Naruto's social status from Zero to Hero that most of this goddamn idiotic Fandom can't see because they have a peanut sized brain.Let me make it clear I am not a NaruHina fan nor did I ship but for God sake it makes better sense than whatever the fuck NaruSaku are cooking. Sns is just straight up creepy dude, they feminize Sasuke like he's some fucking doll. Bro has more testosterone than the average Kpop star (no hate towards them). Look at his adult design in Boruto and I dare you to say to me If he's feminine. And look I've seen femboys and Sasuke is no femboy

Fandoms are fucking disgusting with how stupid they can be. Naruto and Hinata are trans. How? If you're going to use a stupid argument and tell me I am transphobic because of that it just shows you're easily offended. I've always know thier Canonical straight male and female so why should I entertain your headcannon? Heck I don't entertain any headcanons on Characters' sexuality because it fucking idiotic and stupid. Why should I make a 100 page essay on Proving Naruto is gay when it's debunked by a single panel? It's just pure idiocy that's what it is.I love how people say Sakura giving SPR to Naruto is a "Kiss" and WOOO YEAAHH A WIN FOR NARUSAKUUUU!! When it's non consensual. So Sakura is a sexual harasser? Great way to defend NaruSaku with admitting that sexual harassment is ay-okay. Fucking retards"Ooo but Hinata stalked Naruto" yeah but did she cause him harm? "But she didn't try to talk to him when they were kids" good try retarted mother fucker but go read the chapter where that one Kumo guy and Naruto talked about B's past after that Naruto had gone to a spiked cliff and started having a flashback to his first fight with Sasuke which guess what. Hinata tried to cheer Naruto on so go do research before you try and open that toxic waste of a mouth you fucking idiots.

This fandom is full of shitheads and retards and Naruto on reddit is cesspool because when you dare and say that Temari is bland and overrated it's like you just opened Pandora's box for everything unholy. Then again people would hate you for starting the truth and dare say Hinata is better then Temari (not a Hinata fan btw. Temari is bland character that barley has any depth and so is Konan. Tsunade is the best out of all of them and if anyone would question me on that their just pure delusional).

And don't get me on Tenten/NejiTen. Is TenTen even a thing? Personally I thought everyone just forgot she existed and I personally don't like to act like I care about a character because I really don't care about her or team 9. Only Gai really.

She would have been good female character! How? Would she have effected the story? Because Hinata Sakura Tsunade did. Konan just stalled the story Hinata and Sakura and Tsunade did by supporting Naruto. How can Tenten or Temari do that. Konan could but she chose to kill Obito failed anyways.Heck Shisui the guy who we barley know shit about is a better character. No screentime all the relevance bruh Itachi and Danzo can't exist without Shisui he's the fucking King of this shit show. he's a good character because he affected the story and wasn't used as a plot device to explain the rotation.These people forget that the story revolves around Naruto and Everything needs to be revolved around him or someone close to him to affect the story.Itachi is revolved around Sasuke which is associated with Naruto Shikamaru wanted revenge on the Akatsuki which associate with Naruto Danzo is revolved about being Hokage which is associated with Tsunade and therefore Naruto. Yiu basically get it the story is always about Naruto so you need to have an effect on him have relevance. Naruto and Dragon ball have the most retared fandoms out there and goodlord they need a life and higher brain capacity .

This answer is too damn long of a rant.

I know crack shipping is the worse like ships that are some what reasonable is one thing, but when people ship somthing the clearly isn't going to work and try force feeding it to others is the worse. I really hate it when people act as if sns has any chance of happening cause it wasn't since neither Naruto or Sasuke are gay like you said.

Normal shipping is fine though as some pairings are quite reasonable or could happen if the author wanted it. Its just that some fans get out of hand especially when it was clear what the end game was going to be like with Naruto, Hinata was set up as the only possible love interest with her having a crush on him since her introduction.

Sakura is as far as possible from an example of hard work she has the talent, but wasted it by refusing to work hard unless someone was holding her hand. The show is about a lot of things hardwork, friendship, loneliness. There are a lot of messages in series as long as this.

Yeah no one other then Hinata could have picked up Naruto before the Neji fight for the simple reason no one else would be able to get him to let his guard down and drop his mask like he did for Hinata. Hinata has always been gentle and soft even during the exam showed kindness to Naruto wanting to help him in the written exam despite how it could get her in trouble. None of the characters could make him able to show his weak side and drop his fake confidence as none of them are the kind of characters who wouldn't make Naruto worse if he dropped his guard. Most would make fun of him or wouldn't have an idea what to say even Jiraiya at that point isn't close enough to Naruto to give him the support he needed.

NaruHina has always made sense it was clear they were going to be together and it only became certain as the series went on as every interaction ends up happening during big plot points.

Totally know what you mean about people acting as if Naruto and Hinata are trans is canon. Like seriously its not even headcanon its just forcing the idea due to their own insecurities and then trying to force feed to everyone in the Naruto fandom. If you point out the truth and facts they cry transphobic just cause you disagree with what they are so desperate to have as canon.

Sakura fans acting like SPR was a kiss in annoying the mood and setting did not have that kind of atmosphere at all it was medical treatment nothing more. In other manga yeah if the author intentionally plays up SPR and really sets the atmosphere then it can count as a kiss, but in Sakura's it was only medical treatment and even then it means little when Sakura pulls out the seal not long after when previously she complained about running out of chakra when Naruto was dying.

Hinata isn't even a stalker she only admired Naruto when he was in public places and as you pointed out did not harm him in anyway. Heck her attention would be far from unwanted if Naruto knew she was there he would have invited and befriended her and let Hinata watch and train with him in the open.

Temari isn't that bad she does have influence on both Shikamaru and Gaara who go on to influence Naruto. She is a side character though so she doesn't get shown that much nor her own character arc. I found her character interesting though as it becomes clear that she has always cared for Gaara even when he was his worse like a sister should. Plus her relationship with Shikamaru is a good overall.

Tenten could have been shown more out of the side characters she really didn't get a decent showing. I like NejiTen to me its the only Neji ship that makes any sense and a Hyuga weapon master sounds bad ass. Overall though she really did end up being forgotten about in the story and the only way she could influence Naruto is through her interactions with Neji, Hinata or Lee.

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND ONE

SENJU BUTSUMA vs UCHIHA TAJIMA

Reasons for submission under the cut

Butsuma

abusive parent

abused elementary/middle school aged kids because they are mourning the death of your youngest (who was only 7) and won't shut up and go to war so they too can die

too stupid to use child soldiers correctly

fathered Tobirama

ugly

Tajima

is Madara's asshole father

[oh-no-its-bird]

GAARA MY BELOVED!! Tora is going to look at his seal and feel offended by it (literally right down to his soul) they butchered the seal!! Look at it!! Awful!! Rip off!! Cheap!! Disgusting!! Pathetic!!

He's so mad ab it

Another interesting point to think about is how fundamentally different Tobirama and Tora are, even if they are still the same at a baseline!

They're both undoubtedly products of their upbringings and time periods:

Tobirama a loyal second son, born into blood and perpetuating that cycle in new fun ways even once he thought he'd escaped it. He was born with a specific purpose he came to eventually learn to escape (but even then never got too far from it, even if he fell into those pitfalls accidentally) and had very few people who could truly relate to him

And Tora is a first born ""daughter"" to very traditional parents he has virtually no respect or love for other than lingering feelings of respecting his elders from his past life. To modern standards, he is pretty traditional, but to older standards he's terrifyingly progressive on several levels. He has multiple people who can relate to the many different aspects of his life (Itachi and Kakashi as fellow terrifying baby geniuses, we can totally zap Kakashi with the trans beam and have him be there for gender support too, Shisui who gets it by virtue of getting Itachi, the many, MANY children he's suddenly surrounded by who've faced their own struggles that also reflect on him in different ways)

I think Tora has a lot more room to be expressive and embrace his own anger and general issues.

He has no standards to meet except for the ones he sets for himself. Every choice he makes has been painfully deliberate and often times against the express wishes of those who, in his past life, would have been the end all be all of authority over him (his parents)

Also their vocabularies are different (modern curses and slang vs older ettiquite also well versed in court doubles speech) which can result in some funny comparisons. Bc like, they'll have the same thought!! But then say it in totally different ways that just feel like different people

Tobirama, wanting to call someone a coward: "I find it impressive that someone lacking a spine could come so far."

Tora, wanting to call someone a coward: "Yeah ok bold words for a PUSSY"

U see the difference is that usually only Hashirama and some others can directly translate "Tobirama speech" when he wants to call someone a motherfucker but Tora just straight up calls you a motherfucker to your face

Because why wouldn't he ?? He's 15, he's not a clan kid or any sort of court shinobi who might have to meet someone's ettiquite expectations. The only reason he's being polite is because he WANTS to, not because he HAS to (ok well maybe he has to a little bit, otherwise he'd have called Danzo a bitch already. Hes aware that's a bad idea. Still wants to do it tho.)

Tobirama was raised in and directly benefited off of the shinobi system. He literally helped to shape it. He's very, VERY biased when it comes to it's pros and cons

Tora meanwhile was born and raised on the opposite spectrum, directly punished by that same system for being a civilian. The system is constantly getting in his way, from people not taking him seriously to resources being harder to come by to casual classism and more! He hates it! This sucks!

As Tobirama he generally had the freedom to research whatever he wanted with little issue. He was at the top of the food pyramid, if he wanted to know something there was very little red tape he actually had to deal with to get that thing. And if he couldn't then he could just fuckin send someone out to find it FOR him.

As Tora he is fighting tooth and fucking nail for so much as an outdated sealing study about a seal decades old that's no longer even relevant to the current sealing fields.

It's safe to say that Tora has very different views from Tobirama about the shinobi system!! And quite a few are born out of pure spite!!!!

Tora is pushing for a freedom of information act, fully aware this is a very very bad idea for shinobi buisness as a whole. Why?? Because when he was 10 the librarian laughed at him bc he asked to see one of the ninja books, then not even a minute later he saw another (clan) kid be given that same book with a smile and a wave.

He's bitter.

Basically: Tobirama but if Tobirama was actively pitted against his own system with a total 180° on how he sees the shinobi world as an outsider looking in instead of being born with it as his normal. Can you say potential??

Pivoting time !!

Danzo is actually his arch enemy, like on a personal grudge level, not even bc of the Uchiha or anything but specifically bc he keeps getting in the way of his research.

Tora tries to request some sealing papers bc hes running out in his experiments? Denied. Tries requesting permission to look through some sealing books in the library? Denied. He wants to look at the Nidaime's old research? Ha! Yeah, right. Get the fuck out of here kid. Don't come back.

Honestly Danzo isn't even being unreasonable, like, yeah. He's not gonna give Tobirama's notes to some random civilian kid. No shit.

But Tora takes it very personally bc he is a creature that runs on spite and tea. And he's all out of tea. Because he spent all his money on sealing paper bc the office won't fucking give him any more for free because Danzo told them to stop.

Tora is swimming in children. Where did they all come from. Who are these kids. Where are their parents. Do they need an older brother. Trick question too late he is their older brother now. There are no take backs.

"Self care" but it's coping with the traumatic deaths of your brothers in ur past life by aggressively collecting more

Do you think Tora looks at Tenzo and can feel the bits of Hashirama in him resonating with his soul? I think that when he sees the Mokuton in action for the first time he gets weirdly emotional and doesn't know why.

His forbidden knowledge allows him to help Tenzo w the Mokuton actually pass it on. Tenzo agrees not to ask any questions ab where and why he knows this (I think after a certain point, all of them learn to accept he just kinda knows stuff. Don't ask why. He will not answer.)

recently, i've started to see things where tobirama is reincarnated as sakura or is sakura's "inner", which is really interesting. could i get your take on this?

Unfortunatley I don't actually know much ab Sakura's inner! I learned naruto lore via fanfiction (never actually touched any canon media, oops) and have only actually read like 3 Sakura centric ones, I straight up didn't even know Sakura had a multiple personality(?) thing going for her till a few months ago (and boy wasn't that a surprise)

I think Tobirama being reincarnated as her could be p fun!! But also I think I'd be more interested in telling a story where he just straight up reincarnated as someone not existing in canon, if only bc then he could also interact WITH Sakura instead of just being her

I find that a lot of stories that try to give Sakura agency just kind of toss her entire character out the window and start from scratch, which is fun and valid! But it's more fun for me to make direct, uncomfortable eyecontact w canon her and find increasingly stupid or chaotic ways to fast track that whole "character development" thing or at least find ways to explain why she's Like That(tm)

So yeah I don't have toooo much interest in Tobirama reincarnating as specifically Sakura or her inner, but I could be into a story where he just reincarnates in proximity to her and then see how they bounce off of eachother. Maybe as a sibling? That could be cool

If he's born a girl we can zap em with the trans beam on top of the body dismorphia of suddenly being a whole child, that could be interesting. The blatant sexism of naruto canon could also make for an interesting plotline if we want to actually get into that

I kind of like the idea of him not actually remembering his previous life, at least not in full. Maybe he has weird dreams sometimes, maybe he looks at photos of the Nidaime and gets weird feelings of dejavu.

I suddenly have a very specific mental image of him getting a scar on his cheek, where one of his tattoos used to be, and just staring in a mirror afterwards at this super weird feeling of dejavu mixed w a sensation of it not being right mixed w just general body dismorphia and aw fuck why does he feel like he's both a little more right and further from himself than he's ever been?

Anyways would he be born younger or older than Sakura? Older brother him is just super overprotective, often suffering from nightmares of sensing as Sakura and some unnamed "other sibling" of his dies. It could also mean he can interact with Itachi actually, maybe they can be emotionally stunted baby genius friends or smthn

But younger sibling him could make for a surprisingly compelling parallel with Sakura and Hashirama! Especially w how Sakura later goes on to train with Tsunade n stuff

Part of me wants to say he's still names Tobirama for simplicitys sake, he can just be named after the Nidaime or smthn. But also that feels a bit cheap even if it is easier, so at least for now we'll name him Tora

Him and cat Tora can square off for name rights idk

Tora speaking oddly formally for a civilian, and having the kind of respect for your elders that come from being a second son in an elder run clan in ancient Japan. He has an awful time trying to form emotional attachments with people, including but especially his parents, who for some reason never really felt like his

But also him having a super easy time being attached to his new little sister Sakura, who he refuses to see anything bad happen to ever

So Tora and Sakura's parents being like suuper traditional, which is why Sakura is Like That when it comes to boys (she's constantly being told she needs to find a man to take care of her) Tora acts as a good figure and role model in her life, so while she's still interested in romance like canon she isn't AS boy crazy and can do a bit of thinking for herself.

And then we can get some fun conflict between Tora and his parents, who unfortunatley don't get the whole trans thing and constantly insist he needs to either drop the shinobi thing and find a husband, or if he does keep going at the shinobi thing, use it to find a husband there then drop it

Yeah he's not doing either of those things.

(they find out he's friends w the Uchiha clan heir and immediatley get weird about it, all glowing with pride that he's "attracting such good potential husbands" n stuff (Tora is PISSED))

Anyways Tora being just alarmingly good at literally any jutsu Tobirama invented. Like, ALARMINGLY good. He has that first life muscle memory, which unfortunatley is NOT a valid alibi and he's about to get his ass beat for seeming to have reverse engineered secret jutsus he shouldn't be able to know.

It isn't HIS fault that just glancing at the flying thunder god technique that one time was apparently enough for him to instinctively understand how to use it!!! Maybe this "Tobirama" guy should have just been better at making his jutsu harder to understand, this is clearly not his fault

He manages to help avoid the Uchiha massacre by being friends with Itachi, the two of them both graduating early and at the same ages, joining the same team and then ANBU together and so on.

Tora being really strong and graduating early and all that only further motivating Sakura to be a super strong shinobi, just like her big brother! Maybe she and Sasuke can even bond or have met earlier through Itachi and Tora's friendship.

Sakura and Sasuke childhood friends agreeing to try and graduate early together just like their older siblings. Not really into sasusaku but Ill say Sakura can keep her crush on him but be actually normal about it via exposure plus maybe some boy advice from Tora (he's a shinobi, so if you really want to charm him, you'll have to beat him first)

She can maybe lose it with time (and exposure to him being a dumb cringe fail kid w his brother still around) and maybe go kiss Ino idk

Anyways, Tora and Itachi friendship. Shisui is also there!! (Love that guy)

They're dynamic is just emotionally suppressed bastard (thinks hes better than you) + emotionally suppressed bastard (knows hes better than you) + upbeat guy smiling at you as he holds a gun to your head

Shisui and Tora take turns driving the car as Itachi sits in the back seat peacefully eating some applesauce (he's just happy to be here)

They're gonna blow up the hokage tower for the good of the people 👍

They're on an ANBU team w Kakashi and Tenzo and forget about going grey, they're gonna make Kakashi's hair straight up fall out from the stress

Maybe Tora can move out of his parents house the first chance he gets, and then whatever place he manages to find can be a little safe place for Itachi. Itachi accidentally ends up almost moving in w him as things at home get worse and worse w the coup. He just stays over more and more and doesn't want to return home

Circling back to the "Tora instinctivley knows how to navigate Tobirama's seals/techniques" the most terrifying point of the story is when he sees Naruto's jinchuriki seal and realizes he knows how to mess with it

Uh oh!! Shouldn't have that information!!

Anyways take some doodles

(Danzo is "that jackass who won't let me look at the nidaime's old research" and Tora has a GRUDGE.)

[hozukitofu]

Tobirama vs parenting

As far as anyone a lot of people are aware, Senju Tobirama is a bachelor. Without a spouse. Possibly never married, or, well, no spouse can be seen in sight.

Make no mistake - he’s desirable. He is pretty. Very pretty - blindingly so. Heads turn when he walks down the street. Model recruitment officers have approached him consistently since the age of 11 to persuade him to take up a modelling career. There were a lot of random proposals in the past that Hashirama will be very happy to reenact loudly and publicly, to the presence and sighs of his brother.

The point is that he’s pretty and he’s financially stable and he’s fit and overall a perfect groom to all the desperate mothers out there searching for a suitable spouse for their wayward spawns. People have begged him to marry their kids - Itama has footage of someone ambushing Tobirama on his runs and clutching onto his arm and begging for a marriage, for his daughter. It’s bizarre. The man himself had to relocate a couple of times and obscured his address from his limited circle of friends because the petty and annoying pest Madara keeps on sending admirers outside his door and he can’t go to work that way, go away Madara.

He’s pretty and very very desirable on the market of remarkably small pool of eligible bachelors, and it is only the combined forces of his brothers hissing around him and his red vampiric eyes that steer people away from him, arguably number one desirable bachelor of Konoha.

Somebody joked once about how Senju-san is like a vampire but then a group of soccer mums saw him at the butcher buying two kilograms of steak cuts for his family dinner and it happened. They asked him how would he like his steak, because that’s how people flirt nowadays, and in a very flat voice, Tobirama informed them that he eats his steak raw, like the blood of my enemies, and nobody had ever approached him about his dietary preferences ever since.

(Torifu broke down crying when he was told that. Homura most likely taught Tobirama that line, though they wouldn’t put it past him to come up with it on the spot himself, because he’s just a dry and sarcastic bastard by nature.)

So Tobirama is a little tiny bit scary - no big deal, he’s still exceptionally easy on the eyes. Even with the red eyes and the cheek scars.

Scrap that. The man’s perfected the I am disappointed in you stare and people are sure that he has small children somewhere annoying the living daylights out of him to be able to recreate such a universal look on caretakers all across the globe and throughout history can recognise and sympathise with.

The man works in some government job - he’s in creaseless suits when he’s not in equally flawless and ironed kimono. He used to teach - or he still does, at the prestigious Konoha Academy, teaching law and politics with that stern voice of his. As far as anyone is aware, he's a workaholic - his brothers joked that the only loves of his life are kendo, calligraphy, books and his job, in which he agreed. On multiple occasions.

So it comes as a sort of awful surprise and a little bit of ‘I did not expect this and what’, when teenagers start appearing in his home and calling him variations of sensei, father and dad.

Tobirama doesn’t divulge on the specifics of his relations of these children, nor does he deny prying questions of Senju-san, are these minions yours? It’s so suspicious and people just want to know -

Is the prettiest but scariest Senju brother still a bachelor and are the goddamn demon children of his blood and good genes?

Tobirama has other more pressing issues than spending a second of his life to social gossips. Like Itama’s fellowship dinner. Reminding Hashirama to stop burying himself, for once, under paperwork. Nagging the kids to do homework. Dissuading Koharu from setting her brothers on fire with an aerosol can and a matchbox.

He’s a single father raising six children and an entire man-child Hashirama. He doesn’t have time to even go for his runs without waking up exceptionally early, and Torifu throws actual fits when he’s up at a certain hour that is too early for his biological clock to process all the necessary chemicals and that’s bad for you, dad, don’t do that to yourself that’s self harm.

He should have really discouraged the food biology dream, but now the boy is an aspiring nutritionist and there’s no stopping him from seeking out his dream now.

Tobirama can’t sleep late too, because now Itama and Kawarama have little minions to do their nagging for them when they’re travelling to rural areas - Hiruzen is relentless in his constant ranting and Koharu just steals his paperwork and laptop and sprints. Kagami, the oldest, the first child and the one who should be on his side, only watches on the sideline and laughs at him whenever Torifu yells at him to go to bed at a reasonable time be a good role model to your children.

He doesn’t remember adopting these brats. They’ve just showed up one day after the classes they don’t share together, because Kagami is a tattler and the rest are opportunistic carnivores, and he’s a very sizable chunk of meat that their little vulture claws have hooked on and never once let go of since years ago. Now they’re registered under the same family as him, loosely, because Madara can’t let Kagami go and the Akamichi extended family can’t part with Torifu without a lot of tears and consolation hamper baskets and he’s just given up when it comes to the two of them. When they have enough funds to move out he’ll just sign the papers and adopt them into his family officially.

It is such a disservice to the cold, vampiric aesthetic (and front) that he keeps up in front of his neighbour, out of sheer entertainment because their reactions to his many comments are nothing short of comedic. Now he chases after Kagami and Danzo, the combined forces of them two destroying people’s lawns with their bikes even though they’re eighteen and shouldn’t be doing this, with his kimono on their forearms. Now the local fruit vendors knows the exact volume of how shrill his voice can reach when he’s telling Torifu and Homura off for buying three trays of mangoes ‘for science’ and then not eating them. He had been stripped from his kimonos to try frankly outrageous Harajuku street fashion because Koharu has a long-term hobby as a photographer and Hiruzen loves dressing him up in long skirts and crop tops and those really high waist pants that look great on him. Koharu’s Instagram blew up over a week because of the combined efforts of all of them to make Tobirama into the model that he deserves to be. 

(He likes every photo and prints out the photos that he and one of his kids are in it and pins them in his study.

The kids pretend they know nothing about it.)

Kagami somehow has a bottle of foundation that matches his skin perfectly and he can’t help but think that the brats had conspired and planned this out for a long time and he just have to accept it.

His neighbours all can describe the exact expression when each of his kid leaves home or graduate, because a lot of them are parents or they have parents, and that is the face of a man who loves his kids and saddens to see them leave his nest of safety, but he wishes all the best for them and waits for their return.

(And well, they still send fan letters to his mailbox everyday. It’s fascinating to see him shred them by the recycling bin before the rubbish trucks come take the rubbish away. Something about him with a knife just intrigues people.

His kids laugh at him all the way on their side of the phone when he tells them of this peculiar fixation on his manual paper shredding.)

press f if you want more 

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Naruto hot takes part 2: electric boogaloo

1) Sasuke learning healing would make more sense than Sakura thematically, and much more sense than what the hell happened in canon. 2) It would also make a lot of sense for his character in-universe. 3) On that note: Sakura should have learned genjutsu. 4) Not only would it utilize her skills better, but it would make more sense for her character arc. 5) Ino and Shino should have both been shown using poisons at some point. 6) Oh and they also should have been given actual fights that showed off their skills. Shino especially. 7) Shikamaru’s revenge against Hidan should have happened but should not have been supported. 8) Karin was a great character with a ton of potential. 9) But she shouldn���t have liked Sasuke. 10) The Sand Village is a monarchy as well as a military dictatorship. 11) Also, it was probably colonized at some point, which is why Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro all have light skin with light-colored hair (in Temari and Gaara’s cases) despite living in a desert. 12) Temari was more interesting than Gaara. Specifically in Shippuden. 13) Temari should have become Kazekage. 14) Hinata is literally the only girl from the Konoha 12 who makes sense to learn healing. 15) Literally anyone on Team 7 who isn’t Sakura would make more sense as a healer, thematically and for character arcs, than Sakura. 16) Itachi should have remained a villain. If not a psychopath, he at least should have been called out for how screwed up killing your whole clan over a ‘maybe’ is. 17) Kakashi should have died. 18) If we have to have Team Minato/Team 7 parallels, they should have been Rin/Naruto, Sasuke/Obito, and Sakura/Kakashi. 19) Minato’s actually a bad parent and probably would have been absentee had he stayed alive. 20) Basically Menma from that weird movie which I only watched half of has daddy issues. 21) Shikamaru’s kind of an asshole. 22) Tobirama’s an interesting character but he’s also a racist asshole. 23) The Caged Bird Seal is slavery. 24) And Hinata doing absolutely nothing about that makes her complacent in it. 25) Every single one of the Konoha 12 with the exception of Chouji would have been absolutely shit parents and passed on a fuck ton of generational trauma to their kids. 26) Sasuke and Sakura actually do make sense as a couple, but the writing was trash. 27) Naruto and Hinata do not and I’m 90% sure he’s just using her as a rebound. 28) Sasuke is the most accurate depiction of trauma in this whole damned show. That’s not a good thing. 29) The Uchiha Massacre should have been treated as the genocide that it was. As in, loss of culture and traditions and everything, not just Sasuke’s parents. 30) Minato is a war criminal. 31) And he’s not hot. 32) Sasuke is hot but in a pretty way. 33) Naruto’s lowkey an incel at some points. 34) Jiraiya’s creepy and disgusting, and a pedophile. 35) On that note, I didn’t feel sad at all when he died. 36) He was also a shit godfather and role model and likely most of the reason Naruto did not gain a single braincell between the original show and Shippuden. 37) ShikaTema is the only canon couple I can actually see getting together. That’s not a good thing. 38) There should have been more characters with siblings. Like, almost all of the Konoha 12 are heirs to their clans, so how come they’re all only children? 39) Even aside from that and how their parents would probably have multiple kids as a backup heir, like Hanabi for Hinata, the replacement ratio just doesn’t make sense. 40) Like Konoha should be having a population crisis if they, a military dictatorship that relies on murder for their survival, only have one kid per every two parents. 41) Sakura most definitely banged Ino at some point. 42) Obito and Madara both should have stayed dead and the main villains should have been the Akatsuki. 43) Specifically Nagato and Konan, neither of whom would change sides. 44) Konan vs Sasuke and Sakura vs Nagato. 45) The alien plot is actually being done pretty well in Boruto and much better that whatever the hell happened in Naruto. 46) On that note: every single one of the kids in Boruto has so much parental trauma heaped onto them. Refer back to point 25. 47) Minus Chocho she’s mostly good. 48) Sasuke and Naruto was more unhealthy and invalidated Sasuke’s trauma more than Sasuke and Sakura. 49) Hey Kishimoto give your main heroine an actual fucking backstory with her parents and relationship with them challenge. 50) Naruto is realistic in that the rebellion born of a genocide survivor’s anger was crushed and the fascist, unequal status quo led by a so-called underdog who actually had all the power he needed from birth including important parents and grew up to be an entitled ass who’s also an awful parent, was simply reestablished.

[forthereaderinserts]

Can I request future time travel kid for tobirama who is a trouble magnet! I think it's funny that tobirama who's calm and collected to have his own trouble magnet kid getting sucked into chaos at the drop of a hat!

Tobirama, the calm but explosive temper and his kid. His kid who is the exact opposite but got his explosive temperament. Perfect.

First of all, Tobirama would absolutely miffed at the fact that he had a kid. Unless he watched them zap in himself, he would very against that its even possible that he had a kid. Even if he’s together with his partner or not.

Whether he believes it or not, Hashirama knows when someone is and isn’t lying so he gladly takes them in. Tobirama is very against this but Hashirama insists and tells him to look after his kid while they’re here. He begrudgingly does as told.

Depending on when the kid zapped in, they might get differing reactions. Like during the Senju vs Uchiha wars, he’d think that hopefully they’re a good fighter and will be able to survive. If it’s during the creation of the leaf village, he’s a little apprehensive to even be around them. After all he’s done to kids, did he really deserve one?

Not that it matters either way with all the trouble this one kid stirs up by themselves. From pranks to just being petty, Tobirama is in for an exhausting couple of days. Or weeks. No matter how much Tobirama complains about how much trouble his apparent kid makes, Hashirama insists that that’s what Tobirama would do if he wasn’t involved in wars.

He will find it funny when a Uchiha, especially Madara, walks into one their pranks. Only for a moment before Madara turns to them and starts scolding them harshly. Tobirama didn’t know what happened but he rushed forward and grabbed Madara’s hand and picked up his kid.

“Thank you, Madara, but I think I can discipline my kid, myself.” With a very tight smile before turning and leaving. Madara was left with a miffed expression and could only watch him walk.

There will be times Tobirama and Hashirama walk into their pranks and sometimes one or the other brother will have to save them from a dangerous prank. Hashirama finds them funny but their dad does not. At all.

He questions them before they’re about to leave.

“Where did you get this…rowdiness from? I’m certain I wouldn’t have raised a kid to be like that.”

They were very quick to respond.

“I got it from my other parent! You know them! They said it took a while for you to even confess to them because you were…what’s the word? Emotionally…constipated!”

His kid grins a very smug smile and disappears into a flash of light.

Tobirama wants to kill his future partner. Whoever they are.

[captnjacksparrow]

Hello! A friend of mine doesn't ship SNS because they are "like brothers" to her and "Naruto is in general nice person and relates to many people and has many friends, he did a lot for Gaara and Obito too" and even she understands Sasuke is special, she says it was because "he was the first one Naruto related to". I'm a hardcore SNS shipper and no one will convince me otherwise but, well, she has a point.

Is Sasuke really that special for Naruto compared to his other "relatable friends"? Could anyone be at Sasuke's place if they were the first? Is their bond more than brothers' one? I for myself know answers to these questions but when I try to write them, they don't get out right + I really like your thoughts. Thank u for sharing them btw!

Hey @mauriccey

I don't know if you can make your friend to change their opinion about SNS, especially if they think that N and S are Brothers. Just in case, if you don't know, In Asian Culture.. If you take someone as your Brother, you should address them with proper Honorifics. In Japanese, it's 'Nii-San' if they are older... just like how Hinata calls Neji, Sai calls Shin, Konohamaru calls Naruto, Sasuke calls Itachi and Bee addresses his brother as 'Brother', Tobirama addressed his Brother Hashirama as ‘Anija’. Or if you want to call them generally as 'Bro' then it should be 'Kyodai'.

Naruto and Sasuke never addressed each other as such. It's in and of itself is a big Red Flag. In western culture, it's okay to call your siblings by your name but here it isn't (I know exceptions will always be there... But that’s the general norm). My Sister when she was 4 years old called me by my name jokingly and my parents punished her accordingly and from then on.... She always addresses me as 'Elder Sister'. 

[[P:S... Even if people don’t like their Siblings... They will still address their Siblings accordingly in front of others.... Sasuke when lying on Naruto’s lap in the Land of the Waves Arc... he used the term ‘Aniki’ to refer Itachi.]]

Plus, if N and S were Brothers.... There should be no oscillation in Naruto's feelings about whether Sasuke is his Brother or Bond or Friend or flat-out refusing 'Me and Sasuke are not Real Brothers'. 

Also, Sasuke shouldn't be asking 'What does Friend means to you?'. Brothers know it in their heart that they are Brothers at any time. There shouldn't be verification of these feelings. Have you ever seen Killer Bee asking Raikage, “What am I to you?”... “What does Brother means to you???”.... EWWW

Is their bond more than brothers' one?

I talked about it in detail in many of my posts... [Here].... [Here].... [Here].... [Here].... [Here]....[Here]

And I have written more than this too... But this is what I could find for now.

And If you want to know why Naruto said Sasuke was his Brother in VoTE1 & also in front of Itachi ‘I consider him as my brother more than you ever were’ and Sasuke said, 'I understand what you mean by Brother' in VoTE2... Look over here... [Link]

Even she understands Sasuke is special, she says it was because "he was the first one Naruto related to". Is Sasuke really that special for Naruto compared to his other "relatable friends"? Could anyone be at Sasuke's place if they were the first?

"Relatable Friends".... You mean ‘A Genius’ Sasuke vs A Dunce Naruto... Everyone revered him like a God Sasuke Vs Everyone treated him like a Pest Naruto..... Attracts every other Girls Sasuke vs No one gives a damn Naruto.... A Boy who once had a Family Sasuke Vs A Boy who had no one from the day he was born Naruto.... A Self-Aware Sasuke Vs Closeted Naruto...?????

Seriously???

Sasuke and Naruto has nothing in common and relatable. They are like Apples and Oranges. The only thing that connects them is 'Loneliness'... If Relatability was what made Naruto to go so far for Sasuke, then they have nothing.... to be realistic.

If anything, I would say, Gaara is more relatable to Naruto than Sasuke ever would be. Gaara and Shikamaru had more realistic conversation with Naruto that Sasuke ever had with him. N and S never had a good conversation in the entire 700 chapters. Don't you think it's weird for Naruto to go so far for a boy with whom he had no personal conversation with????

So, Sasuke is of course Special....

And also, Konoha is a Shinobi village. There might have been countless Orphans in that Village and yet he picked Sasuke out of all people. So, Sasuke was not the 'First Person to relate with' technically. But Sasuke was the first person to acknowledge him as a Person without any prejudice by throwing away a smile near that Lake Pier.

It's simply a Boy who got attracted to this Lonely boy and wanted to bond with him so badly but couldn't because of the difference. If N saw S just as his friend, then he wouldn't have hesitated to reach him out, you know. He would've just jumped at the first chance and be friends with him right away.

"Naruto is in general nice person and relates to many people and has many friends, he did a lot for Gaara and Obito too"

Naruto always saves other people because he couldn't leave someone alone who is very similar to him. Eg, Gaara who shares a similar life as Jinchurikki and Loneliness... Obito who is a Carbon copy of Naruto with Uchiha attributes.

Naruto's concept was like, 'I would have turned out to be just like you... If it weren't for Iruka Sensei...!!! So, I am giving you one more chance to come back from that dark place and stop doing whatever you were doing... '.

Apply these above words to Gaara and Obito... It would still match.

In Gaara's case, Naruto was literally threatening him to kill him if he don't stop his Rampage.

His pupil has changed from a circle to a slit... indicates his emotions were heightened...

And don't even think that Sakura was among his important people. She became important in this context because Sasuke was in that team.

Because years later,

He said this with such a gleeful face even after knowing Sasuke literally tried to kill Sakura.

And he clearly says that his only bonds are Iruka and Sasuke.

So, Naruto saved Gaara by literally saying, "Stop this or I'll kill you". Because he wants to protect Sasuke (and Sakura)... And before saving Gaara, Sasuke actually acknowledged him that he is his precious comrade and that he was going to act as a decoy.... This acknowledgement was what gave him the resolve to fight back strongly.

When it comes to Obito though.....

"But I can't forgive you for getting everyone involved in this... And continuing down your selfish path!!!.... Come back to us as Uchiha Obito of Konoha.... And accept your punishment...."

Here, Naruto is clearly empathizing with Obito but still he was asking him to pay for the crimes he committed so far. And also he was bringing up Rin's name in this. Almost like, "Think about how Rin would feel about your actions".

Can you say a moment where Naruto brought up Sakura's name in any of the conversation he had with Sasuke????? He could've literally said, "Think how Sakura-chan would feel about this??". (But Sasuke would’ve killed Naruto right then and there... But that’s another story)

Naruto saving Obito is very similar to how he saved Gaara. Very impersonal. To simply put, it's like, "Stop this Bullshit or I'll beat the shit out you"

However, when it comes to saving Sasuke...

It's very personal. He wasn't doing this for Sakura or to save the Shinobi world. It was entirely for him... and Him Alone. As opposed to the lie he was spouting all those times.

“How could I? I couldn’t even keep my promise to her...”

If he was saving Sasuke just like Gaara and Obito, what's the need for Naruto to lie in the first place????? It's very heroic and noble thing to save someone, isn't it??? So, Naruto has some other feelings he wanted to mask behind this lie....

“I hate people who lie to themselves”

It's also not a coincidence that Naruto said this literally to Sakura's face when she was lying that she loves Naruto... Just like he lied about wanting to date her while clearly thinking about Sasuke and lying about this promise of bringing Sasuke back...

And in the End, Naruto finally says the reason as to why he was going so far for Sasuke...

“Even if you were to ask me to explain it... I honestly don’t think I’d really have an answer”

Seriously??? Naruto??? 

You were literally screaming during the War Arc that “My Friends give me Power”. Now why can’t you say that what is mean by a friend???? Friend means a person to hang out with and have fun... Is it so hard for you to say this???

I know he can’t... Because his feelings goes beyond Friendship....

It's simply that he had no reason to be honest. It's just that he was feeling deeply hurt inside whenever Sasuke was doing whatever he he did so far....

Did Naruto ever had a same conversation like this with either Obito or Gaara????

And finally this!!!!

Naruto never offered to give up his life for anyone. Not for Gaara or Obito. IT’s just for Sasuke alone. 

This alone speaks volumes. And also he hyperventilated on the thought that Sasuke was going to be killed.

So, No.... Naruto saving Sasuke can’t even be comparable with what he did for Gaara or Obito. Anyone who didn’t notice these basic differences are either people who watched it for Fun or they are in total denial.

[phoenixyfriend]

I am seized by a fatal need for courtroom ninja drama fic

But not serious courtroom drama. I'm talking Phoenix Wright style Nonsense.

(Some of this was provided by the folks over in @sloaners​‘ server, but the bulk of it was me spitballing nonsense at people who actually know the games, which I do not. I do paraphrase a few times to make it more feasible as a tumblr post/fic concept, rather than a rapidfire text conversation.)

Or one of those like. Reality TV paternity test things? But specifically in my mind the people involved in the actual paternity are a married couple and someone that joined them to be their third, and Clan Elders are throwing a fit about how the baby might not be the heir by blood! while the actual parents are like "I could not care less, this is our child, all three of us, please stop getting involved."

HashiMitoMada would be a VERY good option for the paternity nonsense, mostly because I can see Madara screeching at his own elders about how he already said Izuna would be his heir and he's not changing his mind!

Tobirama is just begging the paternity test to work faster off-screen because he's the only person with the machines to make it happen.

(Hashirama is just. Moping in a corner.)

"I just had to INVENT a paternity test that works before the birth! I had to figure out how to test amniotic fluid! If you assholes make me do something this stupid on such short notice again, I will be digging some shallow graves!" "...for who?" "I haven't decided yet."

Anyway, jumping back to like a Phoenix Wright-style murder investigation.

The victim was Danzo. Even the prosecution isn't actually that interested in making sure someone gets arrested, but they're legally obligated to do at least try. A bunch of people all acting really suspicious about who killed him. There is at least one shitty fake mustache-on-glasses disguise to provide a paper-thin alibi.

WAIT The other thing this gives us is ninjas in three-piece-suits but half of them wear the suits wrong. I’m talking mismatched buttons. The wrong way of tying their tie. Sewn-on-cufflinks. This is Naruto, for instance.

Tobirama would wear it properly, except he's rushing about in a lab coat, screaming at everyone to get out of his way because he's The Entire Forensics Team.

(This is the part where I have to confess that I have only seen the live-action movie of Phoenix Wright, as I don't game, so I just have the live action and tumblr osmosis.)

At this point, of course, we gotta ask: Who is the most Belligerent Witness And who is the Helpful™️ Witness that's super enthusiastic but entirely useless

I can see, say, Mito being a solid witness that both defense and prosecution are really thankful for.

Modern gen you have like... Sasuke and Neji are both incredibly belligerent witnesses. Neji at least is polite about it but pulls the "only answers with the absolute minimum of information."

Lee and Gai would have the over enthusiasm but forget to say actual vital testimony until pressed, and Naruto would love to help but might not be entirely sure what the case even is.

Shikamaru falls asleep when the lawyers consult their partners. Prosecution A consults Prosecution B for thirty-seven seconds, then turns around and the witness is asleep at the stand.

Tobi (as in Obito with mask) is an incredibly frustrating witness. They have to declare a recess just so all the lawyers can recover their blood pressure. "Can we please get someone up on the stand with this guy as a handler? I'm--I'm going to explode."

Gaara: Helpful. Polite. Answers with detail. Answers the spirit of the question as well as the letter. Includes more detail. That's too much detail. Gaara please stop telling us about the sounds that bones make.

His testimony just drags on forever.

Ninken can and will take the stand! Pakkun even enjoys it! Some ninken require translators.

ABURAME TRANSLATING FOR A RANDOM GIANT CENTIPEDE THAT WITNESSED A MURDER IN THE FOREST OF DEATH

There are arguments about whether or not the testimony can count since nobody else can confirm the translation except Other Aburame so how do they know the Aburame aren't part of the coverup.

"Okay, so this Danzo guy had like fifty shell companies but I think I found the route that leads back to him?" "Nah, that one goes to a guy that died eighty years ago that's still collecting pensions: his family lied and said he was still alive for the money." "Fuck!"

Also I just. I love the idea of Sasuke and Madara being the exact opposite kind of belligerent witness.

Also, Orochimaru answers with pretty much the exact kind of wording as Gaara, but where Gaara is trying to be helpful and provide detail for the sake of the case, and failing to see that it's maybe not necessary, Orochimaru just wants to see people squirm. ...similar thing happens with Sakura and Kabuto. Similar phrasing, very different energy.

I keep picturing all of Team Taka as part of Forensics and Evidence Collecting ajshakshjd

Juugo, holding up a rabbit: I found a witness.

Karin joins forensics and Tobirama nearly weeps from joy until he finds her criminal record "Shit, that was supposed to get thrown out when I turned eighteen."

Tobirama: I asked for an assistant, not a criminal. Karin: I'm on parole. Tobirama: That makes things worse. Karin: I know how to use a [concerningly advanced machine that I, a business major, cannot name]. Tobirama: ...never mind, I'm keeping you.

Karin: I know how to DNA sequence AND use LA-ICP-MS Tobirama: [weeps with joy]

Suigetsu would be great at blood splatter analysis. ...I think I read somewhere that blood spatter analysis is actually over in 'fake science that's pushed by cops and media but actually doesn't work' BUT apparently it’s in the Ace Attorney games so we’re going to ignore reality a bit. We’ve already got dogs and rabbits and centipedes as witnesses, what’s a bit of blood spatter?

He's also probably really good at cause of death stuff? Like looking at corpse and figuring out how long it took the victim to die, which blow did it, whether any damage was inflicted post-mortem, etc.

Sasuke is usually too busy playing Belligerent Witness but sometimes goes to join Taka for... uh... reasons.

Juugo: [takes the stand] Lawyer: Hey, uh, why's that Uchiha guy with him? The witness-- Judge: No, no, we need Uchiha Sasuke on hand when questioning Expert Animal Handler Juugo. Lawyer: ...why? Judge: Property damage.

(Sasuke as a work partner with Juugo, also moonlighting as a witness/suspect in Danzo's murder.)

One time they need Juugo but can't find him even though court is already in session and he said he'd be here, turns out he was lured away by Kakashi's army of dogs. Kakashi didn't notice until he turned to ask Pakkun if he could help find the missing expert.

Juugo is a decent lab assistant, I think?

Anyway.

Tobirama taking on Team Taka as his forensics team while Orochimaru is... hm... traveling the country to promote his new autobiography, which is outselling the newest Icha Icha to Jiraiya's ire.

Sloane suggested “a case where it's all the Sannin as suspects in a murder. They would be THE WORST, say... the murder of Hanzo.”

To which I suggested “The Sannin are all suspects but the people on trial are the Ame trio, maybe?”

Which garnered the response of “It could be a surprise upset IN COURT that the trio should be on trial.”

We love a court upset.

Suigetsu finds out that the cause of death was actually an entirely natural heart attack, but while he was determining this, the rest of the team and the lawyers found like eight conspiracies by Zetsu, three by Danzo, four by Orochimaru, and an entire network of nonsense by Sasori.

INO IS THE PSYCHIC. I know her thing in canon is reading minds but pls. Ino is Maya. The Spirit Medium.

Is the judge: 1. Hiruzen 2. Hashirama 3. Hagoromo 4. Mifune 5. The Daimyou

(Old dude with authority, optionally easily distracted/questionably competent. I'd have gone for impressive facial hair but only Mifune and Hagoromo have more than like... Hiruzen's weird soul patch.)

It's not a soul patch but I don't know what facial hair is called and I can't just call it a goat beard

Response commentary was as follows: The Daimyou would unfortunately be closer to the personality of the ace attorney judge, more blindly agreeing with things that sound good :joy: Hiruzen could be fun if only for the competing facial hair for a beard, yes xD Hagoromo would possibly be most buckwild tho WELCOME TO MOON COURT

I managed to get this far with like... NO idea who the judges were except “IDK maybe Kakashi?” but consider:

...HashiMada rival lawyers

Dropping over to Izuna vs. Touka for when Hashirama and Madara inevitably become suspects of something or other themselves and have to be witnesses.

(Tobirama's too busy running blood tests, Anija, let Touka handle it, she's better at people anyway.)

...Hashirama is like. Marginally more put-together than Madara, right? So that... makes him Edgeworth... somehow... That feels wrong but Madara as Edgeworth feels even more wrong.

Madara is very into screaming OBJECTION

ALSO consider: Friction when a doctor from a nearby hospital gets called in to provide expert testimony on something because Karin is like "no hey I should be the one doing this" and then she sees how cute Sakura is.

But also at some point Kakashi vs. Gai for a nonsense case. Their personalities are both VERY FUN for this sort of thing.

[manga2day]

The Hokage of Konoha

A Hokage is the one who is in charge of the management of Konoha, the Village Hidden by the Leaves . He has the same functions as a mayor of any municipality in our reality. He is usually chosen because he is the most powerful Shinobi in the village, but also for other important criteria, namely his ideology and fame. To date, only seven ninjas have succeeded at the Hokage post in Konoha village. These are six Shinobis and a kunoichi (female ninja) without forgetting another ninja who was able to obtain the status of Candidate for the post of Hokage: Danzô Shimura. In the event that the Hokage in place dies or is unable to run the village, it is up to the Konoha council and the council of the Daimyô of Fire  🔥 (who governs the Land of Fire) to select a replacement at most. fast. Once the new Candidate for the Position of Hokage has been chosen, it remains for him to be validated by the Jônin of the village. If accepted, he can then access the residence dedicated to the Hokage. Subsequently, a sculpture of his face is made on the Hokage Monument next to those already present on the cliff overlooking the village.  

Premier Hokage: Hashirama Senju

Known by the nickname "God of the Shinobi", Hashirama Senju was the first Hokage (Shodai Hokage) of Konoha. He is the big brother of Tobirama Senju who became the Second Hokage (Nidaime Hokage) and also the grandfather of Tsunade (Fifth Hokage - Godaime Hokage). Note that he is also the grandfather of the young genin Nawaki who died the day after his 12th birthday during his first mission due to an explosion. 💥 Leader of the Senju Clan of the forest, He was also one of the founders of the Village in collaboration with Madara of the Uchiha Clan after the two formed an alliance between the two families. However, these two characters have always been great rivals as it is said in the legend "Senju vs. Uchiha". Also during his reign as Hokage, a greatest hits of Hashirama was beating Kyûbi the Demon Fox at Nine Tail 's and Madara Uchiha during their legendary duel in the Valley End. However, it turns out that Madara survived her defeat and was able to take on some of the genetic attributes of the First Hokage, specifically the Mokuton, during this fight. You should know that Hashirama Senju was the first ninja recognized for having been able to master the art of Mokuton (woodworking techniques) thanks to his filiation with his ancestor Asura Ôtsutsuki. After his death, several ninjas tried to acquire this genetic gift, like  Danzô Shimura, former head of the Konoha High Council and former leader of Racine, the unofficial branch of Anbu.. He used the experiences of Orochimaru in particular by implanting the DNA of Hashirama Senju in his arms. 💪���� There was also Tobi who pretended to be Madara Uchiha and who had Prime Hokage cells in his possession. Note also the case of Yamato, a member of the Anbu special unit in charge of protecting the Kage. When he was a child, he was the result of Orochimaru's experiences with 60 other children and he is the only one who survived the DNA injections of the First Hokage. Yamato therefore found himself now  endowed with the skills of the Shodai Hokage. However Hashirama remains the only ninja who had the ability to best handle Mokuton techniques. He is also seen as one of the most powerful ninjas in the Shinobi world. He died during the First Great Shinobi War under unknown circumstances.

Second Hokage: Tobirama Senju

After the death of Hashirama Senju, it was Tobirama Senju, his little brother, who was chosen as the new Hokage (Nidaime Hokage - Second Hokage). he is therefore the great-uncle of Tsunade and Nawaki. It is also important to note that he was the sensei of Hiruzen Sarutobi, the latter having succeeded him under the title of Hokage. Tobirama Senju was the greatest user of the Suiton techniques which appealed to the watery nature of the chakra. It is a question of manipulating the water which is carried on the battlefield or of creating it by modifying its chakra in water 💦 even if this technique is more difficult than the first one. Tobirama is also at the origin of the technique of Multi Cloning and that of Invocation - Reincarnation of Souls (Kuchiyose - Edo Tensei) . The latter was subsequently improved by Orochimaru and Kabuto Yakushi to the point that it would have become the most powerful Ninjutsu technique in the ninja world according to Kabuto. During their tenure, Tobirama Senju and A, the Second Raikage of Kumo, suffered an attempted coup orchestrated by the Silver and Gold Brothers. Note that Tobirama also lost his life during the same First Great Shinobi War, just like his brother.  

Third Hokage: Hiruzen Sarutobi

Also nicknamed "God of the Shinobi" when he was young and then "Professor", 👨🏼‍🏫 Hiruzen Sarutobi was chosen by  Tobirama Senju before his death to succeed him as  Third Hokage (Sandaime Hokage). He is the son of Sarutobi Sasuke, a legendary Konoha ninja who was part of the  Ten Heroes of Sanada and who was in the service of Daimyô Yukimura during the Sengoku era. His wife's name was Biwako Sarutobi and he had two children, one of whom was Asuma Sarutobi, Konoha jônin and member of the Twelve Guardian Ninja group in charge of protecting the Fire Daimyô. He is also the grandfather of Konohamaru Sarutobi, who was nicknamed " Honorable Grandson" by this lineage . Moreover, he has repeatedly challenged 🤼 and tried to defeat his grandfather in order to become the new Hokage, to be recognized for what he is but more like the grandson of the Hokage. Hiruzen Sarutobi was one of the senpai of the two First Hokage along with Koharu Utatane and Homura Mitokado, the latter also becoming his advisers. Subsequently, he became the Sensei of the three legendary Sannins: Orochimaru, Jiraya and Tsunade . Hiruzen Sarutobi had to resume his duties as Hokage on the day Naruto Uzumaki was born after the Fourth Hokage died prematurely due to Kyûbi's attack on Konoha. It should be noted that the  Sandaime Hokage was the only ninja to have mastered all the techniques of Konoha.

Fourth Hokage: Minato Namikaze

After  Hiruzen Sarutobi, it was Minato Namikaze who was chosen to be  the Fourth Hokage (Yondaime Hokage) and his nickname was the ⚡ Yellow Lightning of Konoha. He was married to Kushina Uzumaki, a kunoichi from Konoha, and they are both parents to Naruto Uzumaki. Minato Namikaze was a student of the legendary Sannin Jiraya, aka  the Frog Hermit . He was subsequently the Sensai of Kakashi Hatake (Seventh Hokage), Rin Nohara the Kunoichi physician and Obito Uchiha. Minato is the one who created the Whirling Orb or Rasengan technique. Even if the latter was not complete, he transmitted it to his master Jiraiya. He had also learned various seal techniques (Fûinjutsu) from Clan Uzumaki thanks to the help of his wife. Subsequently, he sacrificed himself during the Kyûbi attack on Konoha using the technique of Imprisonment of the Dead. Thanks to the latter, he was able to seal half of Kuruma's power in his body as well as the other half in that of Naruto, his son. Minato is today considered a legend. Indeed, he is both one of the most talented shinobi and one of the fastest to date. The ninjas who came from enemy villages had even been ordered to flee when they passed him.  

Fifth Hokage: Tsunade

Tsunade became the Fifth Hokage (Godaime Hokage) of Konoha taking the place of Hiruzen Sarutobi after the latter's death. Little daughter of Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage, and the only descendant of the Senju Clan, she is one of the Three Legendary Ninjas considered to be the greatest shinobi of their time, namely the Sannin. Before being Hokage, she was already seen as the most powerful kunoichi and the best ninja doctor 👩🏼‍⚕️ in the Naruto universe. Indeed, Tsunade has a perfect mastery of Medical Ninjutsu , which allows him to heal and heal any type of injury. She also has an enormous amount of chakra and her Taijutsu techniques (unarmed combat and weapon handling) are phenomenal. Note that Tsunade had abandoned the life of a shinobi for many years following the successive deaths of people for whom she had a lot of affection. It was later that she was persuaded to return to Konoha to become the Fifth Hokage. Besides, his abilities were then very useful and valuable for the village of Konoha.

Sixième Hokage: Kakashi Hatake

After Tsunade left her post following the Fourth Great Shinobi War, it was Kakashi Hatake who replaced her as the Sixth Hokage (Rokudaime Hokage). Having lost his mother at a young age, Kakashi was raised by his father,  Sakumo Hatake aka White Croc 🦷 of Konoha , who was a high-ranking and renowned shinobi in Konoha. It would even seem that the latter would be even more powerful than the 3 legendary sannins. When he was younger, Kakashi was part of the Minato Namikaze (Fourth Hokage) Team along with medic ninja Rin Nohara and Obito Uchiwa. He then inherited the latter's Sharingan which was dying and which Rin Nohara grafted to him in place of his eye 👁️ lost during the Third Great Ninja War. He is also renowned worldwide for his use of this Sharingan, which has earned him the nickname Ninja Copier . Indeed, throughout his career, he learned a thousand techniques related to his Sharingan. His skills brought him a lot of praise from his comrades, but also influence in Konoha to such an extent that the council wanted to name him Hokage. However, this position never interested Kakashi but he accepted it in the end. Kakashi Hatake was also the mentor of Team 7 (or Team Kakashi) composed of 3 newly promoted genins: the dunce of the class Naruto Uzumaki, the intelligent Sakura Uchiha and the talented ninja Sasuke Uchiha.  

Seventh Hokage: Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto Uzumaki is the only son of  Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage, and Kushina Uzumaki who was the second Jinchûriki of Kyûbi . Since he was little, Naruto always dreamed of becoming a Hokage one day but also of winning the trust and recognition of the inhabitants of Konoha who always rejected him. Indeed, at his birth, his father sealed Kyûbi in his body, which made him the jinchûriki of the Demon-fox 🦊 with Nine Tails while the latter was attacking the village. This event has therefore earned him the mistrust and rejection of the villagers over the years. After joining Team 7, Naruto worked hard to make his dreams come true and, a few years later, he managed to become a hero in the eyes of ninjas not only in Konoha, but also around the world. He even ends up being considered one of the most powerful shinobi of all time by being one of the main players in the Fourth Great Shinobi War. His actions and achievements then allowed him to be chosen as the Seventh Hokage (Nanadaime Hokage) . He married 👩‍❤️‍👨  Hinata Hyûga, the eldest daughter of Hiashi Hyûga, chief of the eponymous clan. Naruto is the father of two children, namely the elder Boruto Uzumaki and the second Himawari Uzumaki. DDuring his reign, Konoha grew into a prosperous village with great modern infrastructure thanks to many technological advances.  

Who will become the 8th Hokage:

Once Naruto became Seventh Hokage, he therefore achieved his ultimate goal in life and is now a hero 🦸🏼‍♂️ for the people of Konoha. In addition, as we have seen, he succeeded in developing the village as well as possible. At the beginning of the new franchise Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, all the fans wondered about the continuation of the adventures of Naruto. Many had even theorized his death  in the idea of ​​making room for the new generation of Shinobis such as Boruto uzumaki, the son of Naruto, Udon Ise, Moegi Kazamatsuri or Konohamaru Sarutobi. In this lineage, many have also wondered who would become the Eighth Hokage after Naruto. There is a theory supported by several fans which says that it will be K onohamaru Sarutobi who would succeed Naruto as the Eighth Hokage. This hypothesis is based on several points including in particular Konohamaru's filiation with the  Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, who is his grandfather. Another point is that Konohamaru has always wanted to become a Hokage since he was a child, like Naruto who is otherwise his idol. Indeed, Konohamaru had in the past tried several times to defeat his uncle while he was still Hokage in order to take his place. During an attack, he had even declared to his grandfather: "You are dead, old crouton, the title of Hokage is mine!". According to Hiruzen, in one day, his grandson would have tried to attack him - more than twenty times, to say how much he wanted to become Hokage when he was still just a child. Even after becoming a Jonin instructor, his desire to become a Hokage was still there. Others have also noted the similarities between young Konohamaru and his idol, Naruto. They both had this dream of becoming a Hokage since they were little kids and they also both have affiliations with a former Hokage. But, in addition, Konohamaru is a young ninja without much stature and who needs to improve himself to claim the status of Hokage. Recall briefly that Naruto was the dunce of his team during his training in Kakashi Hatake's team. It is also important to note that Naruto transmitted several of his techniques to Konohamaru which he himself received from Kakashi Hatake, the Sixth Hokage.. He also taught him the Rasengan and, although it was not made clear, some believe that Naruto imparted to him the Will of Fire that was present in all the Hokage who have succeeded one another. Besides, Konohamaru never stopped calling Naruto "Nii-San", which means big brother.

Who is the best Hokage:

We were able to see previously a maximum of details concerning the seven most powerful ninjas who succeeded to date to the title of Hokage in Konoha. Many have wondered who was the best or who was the most powerful among them. In response to this question, the opinions of fans can differ enormously. First of all, we must recognize that each of these Hokage is of extraordinary power. We can especially mention Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage and ninja doctor, 🩺 whose healing abilities are incredible in addition to his mastery of the  four forms of chakra (Raiton, Katon, Suiton and Doton) for combat and his great physical strength. We can also cite H ashirama Senju, the First Hokage, who would be the most prestigious Shinobi in the Naruto universe. First of all, he is the initiator of the creation of the village of Konoha, wanting to put an end to the tensions between the clans. He has an above average life force, large amounts of chakra as well as very great physical strength. He is able to perform different techniques with very few hand signs ✌🏼 and master the five elements of the chakra. It's hard to make a list of all of your abilities (healing jutsu, barriers, jumps, regeneration, etc.). But his fame comes mainly from his mastery of Mokuton. However, a large majority agree that Naruto Uzumaki would be the most powerful Hokage, even surpassing Hashirama Senju . Naruto would be superior to the latter and would be the greatest Shinobi the ninja world has ever known to date as it has titanic chakra reserves. This phenomenal amount of chakra comes to him first of all from the fact that he is the  Jinchûriki of Kyûbi,  but also of the eight other Bijû 🐲 during the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Naruto can thus excel in each of his skills. We can add to this his heritage from the Uzumaki clan which gives him incredible endurance and faster regeneration, even instantaneous thanks to the Kyûbi chakra. Its techniques such as multi-cloning are so advanced that it is capable of producing a thousand clones simultaneously. He has a perfect mastery of Rasengan to the point of having created a variant, the Rasenshuriken. Naruto is also able to leave his Hermit mode active at all times as if it were natural to him or to use the Hermit Rikûdo mode , which gives him the possibility of tapping into the Bijû chakra. Note also that he perfectly masters his Bijû mode to such an extent that he can become the very incarnation of his Demon. 😈 Finally, by becoming Hokage, Naruto became wiser and thoughtful, always ready to question himself and only seeking the prosperity of Konoha since he considers each inhabitant as a member of his family.

Become a Hokage too:

Becoming a Hokage takes on great responsibilities, but also brings its share of prestige to the point that many ninjas wanted to become Hokage from a young age, like Naruto or Konohamaru. However, to earn this title, you have to be an exceptional Shinobi or become one through hard work 👷🏼‍♂️ and effort. If you too are ready to work hard, you can claim the status of Hokage and bring to the village of Konoha all your know-how to defend it and make it prosper. Do yourself also and enjoy the most beautiful Naruto Goodies offered on our site. Read the full article

[might-guys-acorn]

🦎 Masterlist

Hi there folks! Welcome to my Masterlist! I will continually update it, so enjoy! Looking for something and theres no content for it? Feel free to request it, Id love to write for you :) Also, if you enjoy my work and want to support me, consider buying me a Coffee! Find my Page here! Lots of love❤ ~🦎

Prompt Lists

 Lyric Prompts (Open)

Holiday Prompts (Closed)

Akatsuki

Relationship Headcanons

daddy!kink Yes or No? Headcanons (NSFW)

Choji

Choji admiring your curves Imagine (NSFW)

Deidara

Having an S/O suffering with an eating disorder headcanons

Gaara

Comforting his S/O drabble

Fluffy Headcanons for things he'd do for his S/O

First Time headcanons (NSFW)

Seeing his S/O excited about NaruHina's wedding and decides to propose Imagine

Gaara with a civilian S/O from Konoha Headcanons

Gaara with a Suna shinobi S/O who was his bodyguard and had to protect him Headcanons

Comforting his grieving S/O after a major loss Headcanons

SFW and NSFW Headcanons

Gaara reacting to his wife wanting a baby Headcanons

Gaara and his Uchiha wife with a son that looks like just like her Imagine

Gaara first time Imagine (NSFW)

Gaara flying his with his S/O over Suna drabble

Gaara with newborn twins Imagine

Cuddling headcanons

Shukaku’s opinion of Gaara’s S/O headcanons

Sand sibling’s relationship with Gaara’s S/O + Spending time together headcanons

Gaara having kids who cry every time he leaves drabble

AU headcanons of Jonin Gaara moving to Konoha for his S/O

🍪 Gaara Holiday Prompt Imagine

🍒 Gaara Holiday Prompt Imagine

🎅  Gaara Holiday Prompt Imagine

🧦 Gaara Holiday Prompt Imagine

🧦🎄 Gaara Holiday Prompt Imagine

Hashirama

SFW/NSFW headcanons

🥶 Hashirama Holiday Prompt Imagine

Hidan

Confessing to his crush drabble

Helping an S/O suffering with depression headcanons

NSFW headcanons

Hidan fluff headcanons

Hinata

Team 8 Kink headcanons (NSFW)

Team 8 NSFW moment after a love confession headcanons

Iruka

Some NSFW headcanons

Iruka on a date with one of his old students Imagine

Ino

Being Ino’s best friend headcanons

Itachi

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

Itachi reacting to his S/O waking him up drabble (NSFW)

Shisui/Itachi/Reader poly relationship SFW/NSFW headcanons

Having an S/O suffering with an eating disorder headcanons

Pet name headcanons

🍒 Itachi Holiday Prompt Imagine

Jiraiya

General, SFW, and NSFW headcanons

Jiraiya with a younger S/O who has a daddy!kink headcanons

Jiraiya considering a new pupil at a hot spring Imagine (NSFW)

🎅 Jiraiya Holiday Prompt Imagine

❄ Jiraiya Holiday Prompt Imagine (NSFW)

Kabuto

SFW and NSFW headcanons

Kakashi

Kakashi coming home from a long mission Imagine

Some NSFW Headcanons

More NSFW headcanons

Kinks/Turn ons Headcanons (NSFW)

Even more NSFW headcanons

Kakashi first time Imagine (NSFW)

Proposal headcanons

🧦 Kakashi Holiday Prompt Imagine

Kakuzu

Reacting to nearly losing his S/O on a dangerous mission headcanons

Having an S/O who’s overly affectionate headcanons

Kankuro

NSFW headcanons

Destressing his S/O after a long day Imagine (Very NSFW)

Kiba/Kankuro/Reader poly relationship SFW and NSFW headcanons

Jealous boyfriend headcanons

BDSM Imagine (NSFW)

Cuddling with Kankuro and being caught by Temari drabble

Kiba/Kankuro/Reader Imagine (NSFW)

Kankuro wanting attention from his S/O Imagine

Kankuro stealing his S/O’s panties drabble

☕⛸ Kankuro Holiday Prompt Imagine

🥶🍒 Kankuro Holiday Prompt Imagine

Kiba

Cheering Kiba up Imagine

Some NSFW Headcanons

Kiba boyfriend headcanons

New lingerie Imagine (NSFW)

Kiba/Kankuro/Reader poly relationship SFW and NSFW headcanons

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

Kiba with an S/O whos scared of dogs headcanons

Team 8 Kink headcanons (NSFW)

S/O teasing at a Hot Spring headcanons (NSFW)

Sex in public Imagine (NSFW)

Reacting to his S/O walking down the aisle headcanons

Kiba first time Imagine (NSFW)

Kiba/Kankuro/Reader Imagine (NSFW)

Kiba finding out his S/O’s ex still has feelings for her Imagine

Team 8 NSFW moment after a love confession headcanons

Pet name headcanons

🧦 Kiba Holiday Prompt Imagine

Kiba jealous sex Imagine (NSFW)

Kimimaro

Kimimaro's best friend trying to convince him to stay but failing headcanons

SFW and NSFW headcanons

First time headcanons (NSFW)

Opinions on giving/receiving head headcanons (NSFW)

Kimimaro confessing his feelings drabble

Kisame

Reacting to nearly losing his S/O on a dangerous mission headcanons

Konoha 11/12

Konoha 12 daddy!kink Yes or No? Headcanons (NSFW)

Konoha 11 Drunk Headcanons

Konoha 12 Weird Fact Headcanons

Konoha boys + Itachi confessing their feelings to an S/O headcanons

Konoha 12 piercing headcanons (with hiddenleafstoryteller and smol-mermaid)

Jonin Konohamaru

Konohamaru with a Male S/O

Jealous boyfriend headcanons

Madara

SFW/NSFW headcanons

Naruto

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

Naruto reacting to his S/O wearing his clothes headcanons

NSFW Headcanons

Kissing Gif Headcanons

S/O teasing at a Hot Spring headcanons (NSFW)

Young Naruto seeing an older girl with heterochromia headcanons

Naruto wedding night Imagine (NSFW)

Reacting to his S/O walking down the aisle headcanons

Reacting to his S/O kissing his curse mark headcanons

Kurama’s opinion of Naruto’s S/O headcanons

Naruto helping a friend through a depressive episode headcanons

Naruto having a Hokage kink Imagine (NSFW)

Pet name headcanons

🛷 Shika/Naru/Reader Holiday Prompts Imagine

🎄🕯 Naruto Holiday Prompt Imagine

Neji

Kinks/Turn ons Headcanons (NSFW)

SFW and NSFW headcanons

S/O teasing at a Hot Spring headcanons (NSFW)

Reacting to his S/O kissing his curse mark headcanons

Neji first time Imagine (NSFW)

Neji’s S/O fainting bc of Naruto’s farts headcanons 😂

Proposal headcanons

🎄🍒 Neji Holiday Prompts Imagine

Orochimaru

Having an S/O who’s overly affectionate headcanons

Pain

Helping an S/O suffering with depression headcanons

Having an S/O suffering with an eating disorder headcanons

Rock Lee

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

Random Headcanons :)

Pet name headcanons

🛷 Rock Lee Holiday Prompt Imagine

Sai

Kissing Gif Headcanons

Sasori

S/O sitting on his face Headcanons (NSFW)

Sasori bottoming headcanons (NSFW)

Sasori masturbation Headcanons (NSFW)

Sleeping with his S/O headcanons

Sasori getting fingered headcanons (NSFW)

Sasori pegging headcanons (NSFW)

Random Sasori Headcanons

Confessing to his crush headcanons

Sasori's S/O walking in on him masturbating Drabble (NSFW)

General NSFW, Jealous SFW and NSFW headcanons

Opinions on giving/receiving head headcanons (NSFW)

Helping an S/O suffering with depression headcanons

🎄 Sasori Holiday Prompts Imagine

Sasuke

"If you wanna leave, then walk me out." Writing Prompt Imagine

"I know its a different love, but I know you make me better" (Post War Sasuke) Writing Prompt Imagine

More NSFW Headcanons

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

S/O teasing at a Hot Spring headcanons (NSFW)

Reacting to his S/O walking down the aisle headcanons

Reacting to his S/O kissing his curse mark headcanons

Having an S/O who’s overly affectionate headcanons

Sasuke confessing his feelings to an S/O who is mute Imagine

Pet name headcanons

Sasuke comforting an S/O whos having a panic attack Imagine

🧣❄ Sasuke Holiday Prompt Imagine

☕ Sasuke Holiday Prompt Imagine

Shikamaru

Being Shikamaru's best friend and making him admit his feelings for you Imagine

"We danced around the kitchen in the refrigerator light" Writing Prompt Imagine

Some NSFW Headcanons

SFW and NSFW headcanons

More NSFW headcanons

Shikamaru with a civilian S/O headcanons

ShikaTemaS/O poly relationship headcanons

Shikamaru first time headcanons (NSFW)

Reacting to a goofy-drunk S/O headcanons

Kinks/Turn ons Headcanons (NSFW)

Walking in the Nara Forest with an S/O who's scared of deer Imagine

Kissing Gif Headcanons

Attending Shikamaru's wedding while still having a crush on him Imagine

Shika’s S/O announcing her pregnancy by giving him the King piece Imagine

Reacting to his S/O walking down the aisle headcanons

Shikamaru using his shadows to restrain you Imagine (NSFW)

Shika finding his S/O skinny dipping in the moonlight Imagine (NSFW)

Pet name headcanons

Shika meeting his S/O’s parents headcanons

Proposal headcanons

Shikamaru being a stern but unambitious dom Imagine (NSFW)

🛷 Shika/Naru/Reader Holiday Prompts Imagine

🥶❄ Shikamaru Holiday Prompt Imagine

⛄🥶 Shikamaru Holiday Prompt Imagine

Shino

First time headcanons (NSFW)

Jealous boyfriend headcanons

Team 8 Kink headcanons (NSFW)

NSFW headcanons

Team 8 NSFW moment after a love confession headcanons

🍪 Shino Holiday Prompt Imagine

Shisui

NSFW headcanons

Shisui/Itachi/Reader poly relationship SFW/NSFW headcanons

More NSFW headcanons

Tayuya

Tayuya confessing her feelings to her shy best friend Imagine (He/Him)

Tobirama

SFW/NSFW headcanons

Tsunade

NSFW/Kink Headcanons with a Male S/O

Yamato

NSFW Headcanons

My OC’s

Reveal sketches for Iname, Choharu and Shikajime

Info headcanons of Iname, Choharu and Shikajime + Reveal sketch and info on Sayuri

discendia​‘s piece of Iname, Choharu and Shikajime as Genin

Finished Digital vs. Sketch of Iname, Choharu and Shikajime

discendia’s Choharu x Ringo piece :)

Other Oddball things

Wrong Names for Naruto Things ft Allie (Pt.1?)

Most Savage Characters Headcanons

Fire headgame/Weak headgame Squads (mild NSFW)

Face Reveal

Get to Know Me pt. 1 

GTKM pt.2 

GTKM pt. 3

GTKM pt. 4

[raendown]

Ok so bear with me, but. Child Naruto, like 5, travels back in time to the warring era pd (some fucking how), lands on a battlefield idk and confuses the fuck out of the 4 dumbasses. Protectiveness or /something/ rise up within them all over the scruffy small child and his adoption is fought over by the Senju (Hashirama & Tobirama) vs the Uchiha (Madara & Izuna) thus peace (& MadaTobi). (I just wanna see the 4 founders love baby Naruto lmao. Thas it. Fluff. Thas the prompt I'm so sorry lmao)

AO3

I sort of forgot that he was supposed to be 5 and wrote him as a baby, oops.

-

“What would youwant with him?” Tobirama hissed in Izuna’s face. “All of Hi no Kuni knows aboutyour obsession with blood purity.”

“Right, so I won’t breed him then,” Izuna snapped back.

“The fact that you just used the word ‘breed’ does notassuage my worries in any way.”

Izuna stuck out his tongue but made no move to snatch thebaby out of Tobirama’s arms. None of them knew how the child had come to appearin the middle of the battlefield but the effect on them all had beeninstantaneous, four self-proclaimed enemies all huddled together in a tightlittle knot to admire the tiny face cradled in Tobirama’s fur stole.

“Don’t worry Izuna-kun,” Hashirama hurried to assure him. “Hewill be very well taken care of with us! Tobi really likes children!”

“Somehow I doubt that,” the younger Uchiha grumbled back.

Unobserved by any of the others, Madara eyed Tobirama with acontemplative expression but said nothing. For now. He lowered his eyes beforeanyone could catch him staring and studied the little baby closer. Blond hairand three little scars on each cheek, his big blue eyes stared up at all ofthem curiously without a hint of fear. Either this was a well-socialized littleone or he was destined to be a great warrior when he grew up, fearless, fierce.Madara hoped it was both.

“I think we could care for him better,” Izuna tried again. “TheUchiha love stronger than anyone else. We could give him a better life than theice prince here.”

“Your spies must truly be terrible if you believe me sodevoid of emotion,” Tobirama scoffed.

“Hey! Our spies are amazing! And anyway we would be able tokeep him safer with the Sharingan so just hand him over already!” The moment Izunamade as though to step forward he realized the mistake he’d made.

Tobirama was gone in the blink of an eye, an incrediblespectacle that didn’t seem to surprise Hashirama at all. Rather than panic overthe mysterious disappearance of his last brother he only peeked out at the restof the field where the Senju forces and the Uchiha forces stood eyeing eachother from opposite sides. Neither was willing to attack with their leaders socalmly standing in the center but the long stretch of silence with no update onthe baby seemed to be making them all quite nervous. Tobirama’s disappearingact only made that worse for the Uchiha clan.

When Hashirama turned back to the two who claimed to be hisenemies he was smiling, shoving one hand out with clear intentions.

“I guess Tobi just got tired of arguing and decided to putthe little guy down for a nap. What do you say, my old friend? Now there issomething to hold our people together, something in common for all to love. Wecan all raise this as the first child with absolutely no prejudice.” He beamed.“Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

Madara failed to answer him right away, distracted by theimage that immediately sprang to mind of himself standing next to Tobirama, thebaby held between them like proud parents. He was startled by the pull of sheerwant in his chest.

When he reached out to shake Hashirama's hand he did hisbest to ignore Izuna’s disgusted grumblings. This was the future he had alwayswanted. If there happened to be a little extra incentive now, well, that washis business.

[narutocharacterpolls]

SEMI-FINALS

JIRAIYA vs SENJU BUTSUMA

Reasons for submission under the cut

Jiraiya

ignored Naruto, even after becoming his mentor, unless Naruto shapeshifted into a naked woman

fantasize about, write, and publish stories based off of spying on naked women and girls

analyzes boobs in public

set an example of being a sleazy pervert to a kid who’s very attached to him

became a regular customer of a brothel when he was supposed to be teaching his godson

be a selfish, mean person in general

reminds two submitters of their uncle

had a CHILD proofread his porn novels

let Naruto be abused by the village for years

probably has lice

would make deez nutz jokes constantly

incel

horrible friend

irredeemable waste of cool character design

gives a submitter the heebie-jeebies, and synonyms

made ‘weird’ comments about Konan while under his care

could have been honest with Naruto about knowing his parents

was friends with Orochimaru and didn’t care about his murderous tendencies

deadbeat godfather

coerced a child into turning into a naked woman

stole his (young orphan) pupils money

blew off naruto and made him learn on his own, didn’t teach him anything

perverted, sex offender, and harasses women

deathly ugly

not funny in any way despite supposedly being a comedic relief

Butsuma

abusive parent

abused elementary/middle school aged kids because they are mourning the death of your youngest (who was only 7) and won't shut up and go to war so they too can die

too stupid to use child soldiers correctly

fathered Tobirama

ugly

[hiruzensux]

15

15. which character would you be dating/want to date?

Ohhhhhh this is hard. Trying to focus on like actual dating dating (or as close to that as i do), not just fucking, because i don’t know if it can fit the latter into any kind of reasonable list

I mean. Is it cringe to pick Hiruzen for this too? He’s cute. Funny. Forthcoming with affection. Always dtf. A switch. Likes to tease and be teased but is actually socially very agreeable. Gives amazing head. He’s kind of the whole package.

I feel like our similarities make it so we would get along well. Of course, our similarity could actually cause problems too; we have a lot of the same weaknesses and would most likely end up enabling each other rather than helping each other work on improving bc those shared weaknesses include escapism

And there’s other potential problems, like:

- He likes parenting vs. i never want to see or think abt (let alone consider having) children ever in my life. That could be an issue.

- He’s super easy to manipulate and i’m kind of paranoid abt accidentally manipulating my partners

I don’t have as much analysis for these others at the moment, but some others i could maybe see dating include:

- Hashirama

- Tobirama

- Kisame

- Shino

- Karin