#to quote myself: there is NO way working makes everyone this exhausted.

[freakoutgirl]

kinda funny that i never even considered i'm autistic until i had a job

[lizthewriter]

best believe i'm still bejeweled / theodore nott

PAIRING  theodore nott x fem!reader

SUMMARY  you accept theodore nott's proposal to fake date each other and the two of you step foot into the ridiculously complicated world of fake dating. part 2 of the get him back! series PART 1 PART 3

QUOTE  "best believe i'm still bejeweled, / when i walk in the room, / i can still make the whole place shimmer," - bejeweled by taylor swift

WORD COUNT  1.4K

WRITTEN  6.3.2024

"everyone." theodore had walked back into the room, you snuggled comfortably into his arms. he had tapped a fork against his glass, gathering the attention of his friends. mattheo's jaw dropped, the hand swung around some girl you had seen around slithering it's way back to his side. "i want to introduce you to my girlfriend."

that's right, you smug snake. i win.

some people in the room looked rather confused, most didn't seem to care. mattheo's eyes had a glint of murder and his new girlfriend was obviously displeased by the sudden lack of his arn around her waist. an umber-skinned boy you didn't recognized was watching theodore with only a curious expression, tilting his head as his eyes met yours. they were oddly piercing, as though he could read your every thought and deduce the scheme you and theodore had drunkly concocted in the kitchen of a random kid's mansion in under a minute.

mattheo stood up quickly and approached you with a furious expression. his eyes burned a hold into theodore's head as he addressed you (though nott seemed unfazed by the boy's anger). "can i speak with you? privately."

your eyes were dead as they gazed onto mattheo and as his eyes met yours, his expression fell from fury to something more shocked. you lazily dismissed him, glancing away as you responded with nothing but a simple, "no." he didn't deserve to waste a second of your time with his nonsense.

he fumed at his and pushed inbetween you and theodore, storming out of the mansion. his date gathered her things quickly and ran after him, shouting his name down towards the sounds of a booming bass.

"i thought you said you weren't dating, theodore?" daphne greengrass sat elegantly upon the loveseat, her legs crossed and a smirk painting her face something beautiful. she looked dignified. "didn't you once remark to me that no girl was good enough for you?"

you wanted to roll your eyes. yeah. that was the theodore nott you knew.

-

"if we want this to work, you're going to need to -" theodore glanced you up and down. "- change some things."

you narrowed your eyes at him, your arms crossed. "what exactly do you mean by that, nott?"

"i mean to say you need to have the sense of sophistication and upper class of princess diana. and currently you have nothing more than a sense - i apologize - a smell of alcohol about you and all the upper class of a weasley."

"so you're saying you want me to start looking and acting like a spoiled brat?" you asked sweetly, though it was snarlingly obvious your expression was distasteful and offended.

nott sighed as though he were being exhausted by a petulant child, his fingers holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "i meant no offense."

"it doesn't matter what you mean, what matters is what you do. i'm sorry i don't have the luxury of a wealthy father to worry about all of my problems. unfortunately i have to pay rent, buy clothes, food, and other necessities, as well as cover the costs of university myself. there's not enough wiggle room there for gucci sandals and a yearly vacation to bora bora."

"i'll pay for everything, all right? i shouldn't have said that the way i did." his tone was sorrowful enough that you forgave him with a sigh and a wave of your hand.

you hopped onto the kitchen counter top as nott began to wash the alcohol glassware. "so, why are we still here? the party is over, i'm sure the kid whose parents own this house would like us very much to leave."

he sent you a look. it took a moment for you to register that this was nott's father's mansion. "oh. well then . . . if we're going to make this work, we have to be more than believable, we have to be undeniably in love. that means people have to see us together, they have to look at us and think we're in love. that means spending time together, nott. are you sure you'll be able to tolerate time alone with someone so below your class?"

theodore gritted his teeth in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "yes, i'm quite certain that i will survive."

you grinned, hopping off from the counter and patting him on the back. "great. pick me up tommorow night at seven, we're getting dinner."

-

"i can't believe this, i can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"relax, blaise, it's not a big deal."

"big deal!? the girl you've had a massive crush on for the past two years is now your girlfriend and you say it's not a big deal, don't be ridiculous," blaise responds with a scoff.

"fake girlfriend - she's only doing this to get back at riddle. besides, i'm doing this to piss the twat off too," theodore responded in a rather defensive tone. blaise smirked at the faint blush that painted nott's cheeks.

"oh yeah? and that's the only reason? are you quite sure?" there was an embittered silence that made blaise laugh victoriously. he clapped theodore on the back in excitement. "come on, nott, even if you're fake dating right now, you've got to pretend, right? you have your chance, don't let it go to waste! you've got a date with her tonight, right? pull out the stops! buy her flowers, get a -"

"don't you have sports communications now, zabini?" theodore drawled, glaring at blaise with an icy expression. blaise only grinned in response - his friend would come round to listen to him.

-

theodore had thought good and long on what blaise had said to him. it was true - you both had a general education class first semester and from then on, he had been mad about you. he didn't really understand it fully himself, at least not in the beginning. he had never been interested in girls much before, but something about you in paticular struck him. perhaps your wittiness, your intelligence, the way you weren't afraid to speak your mind about issues that were important, your beauty. you weren't rich and to be honest, he didn't care - it was your personality, your beauty, that was rich. material wealth meant nothing.

well, material wealth meant a little something. it meant he had listened to blaise and bought you an extraordinarily large bouquet of red roses that would never be to expensive to him. he wore his finest suit, his hair slicked back carefully, a hint of cologne wafting off him. he stood at the door to your dorm (which took quite a bit of effort to hunt down, you hadn't even given him your number or where you lived.)

he knocked on your door and waited patiently, glancing up and down the hall. ans then the door opened, revealing a fiesty red-haired girl with a smirk on her face. but theodore wasn't looking at her, he was looking at you. the roses almost fell from his hand.

"erm - i hope i'm not late."

the shock was evident on your face. he was - well, you couldn't deny it, theodore looked astoundingly handsome. and that bouquet of flowers . . . . was it all for you?

"these are for you," theodore said, looking for more nervous than you would have expected him to. he handed you the bouquet, but the ginny snatched it from him immediately.

"i'll go put these in a jar!" she exclaimed, holding them under one arm. she shoved you out the door and towards theodore. "you two go have fun and you, bring her home before midnight or i'll have my older brothers on your arse!"

the door slammed in your faces and you were left unbearably close to theodore. you didn't know what to say - i mean, you knew you had to make it look as though you really were dating, but you didn't expect him to go to such an extreme. "you did really good with the flowers. very believably," you said in a rather constrained tone. part of you had been flattered by such a gorgeous bouquet, but the other half of you knew it was all for show. why did you feel so sad?

TAGS @rosieandthethorns @thaliasworld96 @lovelyygirl8 @moony-artemis @thesecretmansion @thecraziestcrayon @amongemeraldclouds @readingthingsonhere @darkenwolfie @jaxyy219 @empath-bunny @always-reading @xmadigurlx @mypolicemanharryyy @prettyb1tchsblog @hoeforvinniehackerrr @luckylzclerc @pandalovingcats @thyeb @annaisabookworm @starsval @niktwazny303

part 3 coming soon glizzies 😉

[wingzie]

Speaking to the media as a UK Army

Earlier in the week I mentioned in a local group chat that the UK’s attitude towards BTS and KPOP overall had changed. It felt like everyone was excited during Dynamite and then interest was quickly lost. Things got worse after the Festa Dinner. Because of previous experiences with a certain boy group, it was reported that the members would never return. These stories were soon edited, but it was obvious that there was a certain bias against the members now. The previous hype posts for them and their new releases were less present. Instead, we have gone back to having to do everything ourselves during chapter 2. 

As I am sure many of you are aware, it has already been a tough week for UK Army. We found out that MUSE had inclusions, making it harder to chart. We got backlash from solos for something that wasn’t our fault and the emails we sent were ignored or received weird responses. We are a resilient bunch though and we continued to promote and gain more funds. I figured that things for us couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong. On Sunday I was sent an article from the BBC by a friend. They asked my thoughts on it and I quickly understood why. Something else worried me though. I recognized the journalist. He is someone that we have history with. He kindly wrote about Persona and Wembley in 2019, but he also sneaked in a line that he thought that the members were miming through the concert. At the time, a few Army tried talking to him about it on Twitter and he was receptive to the feedback. I decided to try and do the same and to do it privately in the DM’s. Something which he told me himself that he appreciated. I spent a good amount of time drafting my message. I made sure that it was polite, but also included the reasons why a certain part of the article was troublesome. During this, a friend of mine also made a detailed thread correcting the misinformation. Once the message was sent, I went on with my day and waited to see if I would get a reply. Much to my surprise, I did indeed get a reply. I don’t have consent to share our messages, but we replied back and forth a few times and he said that he would look into changing the wording. I quoted my friend's thread, explaining that I messaged him privately and that he was working on it. As someone who posts about Jikook on a regular basis, you could say that I am used to getting unnecessary abuse. However, I was not fully prepared for the response to this. As more hours passed and there weren't any changes made, the more anger and hate I received. This greatly confused me, as I wasn’t the one who wrote the article itself. I just wanted to try and help and we had to be patient. 

A day later the edit was made. I messaged the journalist again to thank him and he responded back, explaining that the reason it took so long was because there was a debate internally about the best way to respond. I then shared on TL about the edit being made. It wasn’t the best edit, but that’s all we got. Unfortunately, the hate towards myself increased even more. Some said that the article was my fault, that I failed BTS or that I was an anti. Plus a few words that I daren’t repeat here. Some saw what was happening to me and sent kind support. These included people who I have never interacted with before and I will be forever thankful for that. I also spoke with some about the response of the general public towards the article. The article was heavily advertised so there were discussions in relation to Seventeen going to Glastonbury. This hasn’t been done before so some were curious and some were confused. It was interesting to see the reaction to it, even if it was poorly written. I was personally exhausted though.

This whole ordeal started on Sunday and I woke up on Tuesday still feeling a bit wary of receiving more hate. On top of this, I had gained around 300 more followers from all of this and didn’t know how they would react once I started posting Jikook. If I’m honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable with everything going on. What did shock me though, is that some of these new followers were going through my “pinned” post and liking the threads on Jikook. It made me a bit self-conscious, but I didn’t want it to overcome me and Jimin’s promotions though, so I came up with an idea. 

July is my Birthday month and to celebrate I am doing a giveaway for other UK Army. This gives them a chance to get any albums they currently do not own and to try and boost sales for Jimin at the same time. The UK fanbase don’t really want to be associated with me because of my account, so I decided to do everything myself. To help boost morale, positivity and the community spirit that Army has. Overall, I do not regret reaching out to the journalist. He was rather difficult to speak to, but an edit deserved to be made for the way in which it was written. I appreciate the discussion we had and those that supported me. My focus will continue to be on Chapter 2. Look after yourselves and each other. 

[mllenugget]

Hello I mcyt fandom-ified la Team du Lundi members and wrote a shit ton of text about it

After exhausting myself on trying to catch up on the current QSMP lore I got a sudden craving for a more familiar and fast paced kind of minecraft content and ended up rewatching all the Team du Lundi's SMP best of's I could find

And while doing so with my brain still hazed in fandom brainrot, I started picking up on minor details or info the players casually dropped, and drew parallels to the French speakers' QSMP counterparts This is going to be a long wordy post I don't even know what I am rambling about and for. Three things you need to be aware of about la Team du Lundi before reading :

Baghera, Antoine and Etoiles are the only QSMP players that are part of la Team du Lundi

As far as I remember the only two elements that suggest that la Team du Lundi's SMP could be canon to QSMP are Antoine being pressured into building another Tower of Shit, and Baghera's infamous fountain being mentioned when she was asked if her character remembers anything from her past before the island

La Team du Lundi's SMP was NOT a roleplaying server, it was just a private survival server for a small circle of friends casually playing together. So whenever I quote someone in this specific post, it is the streamer : there is no character other than the persona the streamer is usually showing on stream, but I just thought it would be fun to interpret certain situations while keeping in mind the QSMP lore. And here goes :

Baghera claims that when she was a kid she strongly believed that she could breathe underwater. The others joke about her having fins

Antoine jokingly tells Baghera he doesn’t need oxygen at all

Antoine claims he will still be alive thousands of years forwards

Antoine’s voice shifts when he wants to appear creepy

Baghera built an aquarium at her place, then helped Antoine build one at his tower, then built a giant swimming pool, then a fountain, then a waterslide- do you see a theme ?

Baghera knows that her skin is actually that of a chick and not a duckling, and calls it so here

Chat said that Baghera has a middle child syndrome, justifying that she bullies Angle Droit because Etoiles bullies her in the first place (Etoiles has also called her « little sister » in a derogatory way)

Etoiles has repeatedly asked people to play Valorant with him at least once

Here's a clip of Etoiles getting languaged in french and owing "a gifted sub in the swear jar"

Unrelated random clip of Etoiles because it creates happy hormones in me brain

Etoiles is regularly refered to as "the warrior"

Etoiles guided the whole group during an expedition to the End and he was literally glowing doing so (enchanted arrows effect) Everyone called him "the guide"

Baghera was the one who gave the final blow to the Enderdragon (and died from magic right after)

Etoiles spent most of his time adventuring in order to bring stuff and gear back to everyone for their builds

Etoiles asked Aypierre for help in order to design a redstone door for his cave which could only open upon solving a puzzle (which was egg & arrow related) (Aypierre was not a member of the server)

Etoiles built a nightclub with the walls and ceiling covered in wardenblocks making it look like a starry sky. He also rehomed Allays holding golden apples inside claiming them to be the souls working for him and that they lived there peacefuly

Etoiles jokingly talks about Antoine acting jealous and violent towards him because Etoiles told him he wanted to go and visit Kameto (who also was not a member of the server)

Baghera (along with Horty) had a rivalry with Joueur du Grenier (host of the server with admin powers) after he decided to build a massive parking lot right next to their house. They countered by covering the whole thing with dirt, followed by JDG building a factory and the two parties went back and forth. Baghera argued that it was stupid because they didnt even have cars to begin with (which is a sentence she reused when talking about Forever's roads) Also she tells JDG that he could've built a seaport instead, which makes JDG contemplate the thought of building an airport (and though he ended up never building it, I am side eyeing the French's plane crash)

At some point JDG wonders about what a roleplaying minecraft server would look like (RPZ 2), to which Baghera replies that she has a hard time picturing the thing "We'd all just build things you see ? I don't think we'd create stories, we would all just be like "I'm a builder, ah you too ? Well awesome, builders, cool"" and I find this to be hilariously ironic (fun fact : Baghera had no idea that QSMP was a roleplaying server when she first joined and often claims she would've taken a different approach with her character had she known right off the gate)

As I was finishing to write this down, these fuckers (/lh) decided to host a closure night for the server as they've never really officially did it, everyone just sort of deserted the server after a while. Baghera, Etoiles and Antoine kept referring to QSMP throughout the night, mostly talking about how weird it felt without mods. Among other meta commentary things

They mentionned Cellbit and Bad multiple times as the group was trying to solve enigmas. Antoine talked about "the cultural sharing" between communities as he taught insults to each others with Mike, Roier and Maximus in their respective languages Multiple more players were namedropped (including eggs) while Antoine was talking about how the server functions

Yes, Baghera and Etoiles kept their QSMP skins. Etoiles with his code corrupted purgatory one, and Baghera with her fading pink disheveled hair (with the addition of her cubito wearing Horty's merch)

Baghera admits that going back to this small familiar vanilla server feels like coming back home to your family during the holidays

Team du Lundi's cameos in QSMP :

Though Pomme has never canonically met JDG (even though most of her parents have talked about him to her at least once), she occasionaly breaks the 4th wall to refer to him. She once compared one of BBH's "vacation" flower shirts with his, and when Foolish and Bad asked her to elaborate (obviously not getting the reference) she proceeded to play JDG's music theme with the flute instead (Also I really feel the need to once more point out how mindblowing it is for your average french speaking viewer to have JDG's intro theme being added to the mod they use in the QSMP because of how anchored it is within french internet pop culture. Like this shit has been existing for 14 fucking years, it's part of the childhood of a lot of us, so to find a clip of British hardcore player Philza peacefuly listening to Mexican egg admin Tallulah play this theme on her flute feels like a multiverse fever dream)

Horty has been on Quesadilla Island through cc!Baghera's account, but neither of them really wanted to justify it RP wise. Baghera just wanted to give her best friend a tour of the island. Horty only got to meet Richarlyson who gave her a tour of Cellbit's castle and made her pick a room (she chose Chaos). She also chatted with Etoiles who tagged along for a bit and (this is obviously justified by it being a one-shot out of roleplay filler episode kind of night) they both already knew each other and were on friendly enough terms to bicker with one another Also she was part of the French speakers Quackity reached out to to invite on the server, but she had to decline because she was very busy at that time (and also not interested) Also also she was Baghera's teammate for that Formula 4 event, and Baghera has discussed it and showed pictures to a couple of islanders, including Richas who was very hyped about it

Another player the viewers were hoping to see on Quackity's server is Mynthos. He exists within the server with the picture of him that hangs in Pomme's art gallery, the cursed animation video that used to play in La France, as well as with Aypierre's health potion factory that bears his name

Angle Droit and Zerator are sometimes namedropped when the French speakers talk with their chat. Angle Droit frequently raids Baghera's and Antoine's streams, and though it has never been confirmed, a lot of viewers theorized that she was the +1 player Baghera and Etoiles wanted to invite on the server had they won the elections.

As for Zera, Etoiles went AFK on QSMP a couple of times in order to test some of Zerator's TrackMania maps (which he later discussed with Pac). I also remember a very trivial conversation Etoiles had with Mouse and Aypierre where he laughed about hurting his back very badly after carrying a fellow streamer during a caritative event, said event was hosted by Zerator (he's also the one judging them with concern from his desk)

I'm done.

Bonus alternative design for Angle Droit because at first I thought she was a fox then it turned out she was a corgi but then she changed it again to a fox and woop

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC How is the Lion's Gate Portal affecting you?

Happy Lion's Gate portal!

General themes of the messages that came out today:

Addressing the sense of disconnection from being swept up a little too much by the 3D right now, with a focus on the root chakra and resolving stagnation.

--------

Pile 1:

Your energy right now feels like the color yellow to me—so fresh, energetic, and exciting. This shows that the Lion's Gate portal will help you feel more expansive, like you "own the goddamn world today." It's giving me healthy solar plexus energy, so for those of you who have been healing it for some time now, take this reading as a sign that not only is your solar plexus healing, but it's also expanding, and it's happening quickly 😉✨.

I'm getting a sense of lightness from you during the Lion's Gate period. Anything you were burdened by before August—such as exam stress, financial blockages, or something similar—will be dealt with FAST by the universe during this period, and you'll feel like you can breathe again. At the very least, you'll have a reason to be grateful and feel oh so special about seeing the universe work its magic in your life FOR you ✨.

I love it! I see you receiving a lot of help and support in overcoming any feelings of disempowerment, stuckness, and disappointment. It seems to me that you were trying to manifest something specific, but it just did not seem to get off the ground. That's exactly what this portal will give you a boost towards! Isn't that lovely? You'll feel a rejuvenation in your hope for this "failed" manifestation, and you might even feel the motivation to go at it again in a more planned and helpful way this time :)

Ooh! I also see a major boost in your ability to connect with your intuition, grace, and compassion. If you felt like your emotions went numb lately or you've been doing too much shadow work/emotional healing work and have been exhausted from it, you'll particularly feel an enlivening in your emotional body during this period. You might attract just the right things that will help you FEEL again, but be sure to allow it in 🤓.

Your psychic gifts (if you have any) will definitely grow substantially over this period too, so get ready to be surprised by just how much you can pick up. And it goes without saying that when your gifts are expanding, you need to make sure to ground and clear your energy from time to time to avoid floating away haha.

Side note: Try not to fight your new abilities or try to fit them into a particular box if you sense them coming up. Be open-minded when it comes to your own psychic gifts because everyone has their unique ways of connecting with the non-physical 💜.

Overall, it feels like you're having a spiritual upgrade of some kind this Lion's Gate portal! Congratulations, Pile 1 🎊.

And Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

--------

Pile 2:

There's always a pile in my readings that I call the "brain pile," and this one is it. You all have a brain/mind that is incredibly active and in some cases a little too active (I'm guilty of that myself 🙃💋).

Lately, maybe your mental body has been wreaking havoc in your world and disrupting your well-being? Maybe you got stuck in unhealthy patterns of overthinking, irrational fears, and intrusive thoughts? THAT'S EXACTLY what this portal is helping you with. It's bringing you divine intervention in whatever form YOU are open to receiving right now—maybe through books, tarot readings (such as this one 🙃), people, quotes, messages in songs, dreams, etc. You get the idea, right? This is to help you snap out of this almost trance-like state that your automatic thoughts have trapped you in. You're being looked after, don't you worry, sweet pea 🥰—that's a huge message I'm getting for you specifically.

Not only that, but I get that this divine intervention will eventually become a 'mental glow-up of sorts,' and it seems to me that you're ready for it now more than ever. You're balancing your mind right now, and you're getting all the help you need with it because, boy, this is a long-standing cycle you're fighting, so Spirit is like, "we need all hands on deck!"

Haha, that's good!

I see so many detours on your path going forward now, which is all part of this divine intervention. You might initially not understand the ways the universe is trying to help you, and you might fall into more chaos (mostly because your mind is resisting the sudden changes), but in due time, you'll not only find your balance but you'll also find a way to integrate your inner child AND all the wisdom you've gathered so far in this life effortlessly. Your mind was busy fighting these other parts of you up until this point, so I guess that's why? I'm so happy for you, though! Such a lovely thing to experience :)

I get a sense that you'll be living a much richer life because of this internal shift.

Wow. Love that 😁.

That was your message and Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

--------

Pile 3:

Your message is making me tear up, Pile 3. Aw. You're being guided gently to learn how to trust the universe again.

I can see that you've been doing a lot of healing all by yourself, and this work, merging with the energies of the Lion's Gate, is bringing you opportunities to trust in the magic of the universe again. You'll feel supported, less alone, and overall more connected to a greater fabric of existence. You may have slipped into isolation of some kind, and this problem is what's being dealt with on your behalf during this magical period :)

You're going to feel confident in your intuition, and you'll be able to not only listen to your emotions but also trust them deeply. This will build an inner security that you probably didn't know before. If you NEEDED external validation before the beginning of this Lion's Gate period, this time will bring you the necessary ingredients to build that unshakable sense of inner security, fueled from Source itself. Of course, you'll like any external validation that comes your way, but it won't dominate the rest of your inner world :)

Beautiful. This is a beautiful expansion for you, Pile 3.

If you find yourself feeling alone out in the world or feel like you have no friends, that's because of this great big spiritual flush of the old energy you're in the middle of right now. Any energy that wouldn't reciprocate your energy with you, or anything that isn't ideal for you or anybody that's toxic for you, WILL be snatched away like 💨, and you'll be like 😶 but whyyyyyyy.

Spirit sees the bigger picture—things that we literally can't—and is doing everything to keep you on your highest path :) Remember, "rejection is divine protection." It might seem a little frustrating to hear that right now, but it's all for your greatest good. Trust. That's your lesson anyway 🙃😉.

On a more positive note, I see this portal infusing you with so much energy and momentum that you'll be itching to put it all towards something. If you've been stagnant in your 3D life up until, say, July or felt like nothing was changing and it's all the same old same old, then this will change BIG TIME, and you'll be the reason why 😉.

Spirit will be inspiring you directly to make any changes that will bring you a sense of well-being in this important phase of your life✨

That was your message and Happy Lion's Gate Portal!

--------

[sabine-smitten-obviously]

and now i have to find myself a tower in a forest near a wall ...

... and look for a black, dark sorcerer !

You love fairy tales? You love Good Omens? You loved Aziraphale and Crowley in medieval clothes? Then you will love this not so little fanfic i dearly recommend to you!

Villainous by @ineffablepenguin

What it is about:

Once Upon A Time…

There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

Part fairy tale, part fantasy, all love story. There’s magic, and grand romantic gestures, and Heroes and a handsome Prince, and a Villain. There are even some wild heroics, though not necessarily from who you would expect. At its core it’s simply about two (relatively) sane people living in a mad world who find each other.

What i love about it:

🫅🏼 I mean - fairytales? And a lot of them? I found it very nice to guess all the tales when stumbling upon a hint. Nice touch: in the epilogue there is a list of all the fairytales which have kind of flown into this fanfic and i am quite proud that i only missed 1 i actually know (and of course those i dont know).

👑 This story is RICH - and i mean really rich. It goes into details over everything and sometimes it reminded me of books written bei Hermann Hesse because of all the little things that kept coming and being mentioned. On my e-reader it was 566 pages! And yes, it took them about 200 pages for their first kiss 😅 That said, its always drawing a picture and reading the story is kind of seeing in your imagination. Obviously nothing is ineffable for @ineffablepenguin 😉

💪 The action scenes: oh my, its like a Schwarzenegger-movie, you cant stop reading, its fast, its furiuos ... oh, thats another movie, ngk.

🩷 The character development: both of our beloved angels start out being insecure of their roles, their place and their worth. But - this is the first fanfic i ever read, where both of them get to be BAMF !!!!

🩷 The plot: i love being suprised - i mean we do know a lot already, diving into a GO-fanfic with the tag "happy ending", right? So there were some really interesting turns and sometimes i wondered "ok, just how will this play out? How will the author get to unknot THIS?" And i have to admit, sometimes i really didn't see it coming. Very nice!

🩷 The healing: i dont know if it was on purpose or the author just felt like our ineffables needed to hear and think stuff, but actually the way their characters develop and how they help each other with it, what they are thinking etc ... reminded me a lot of trauma-therapy. So as one of those few (ähem) people who really spiraled after the big 15 of S2, this was such a nice feeling.

💫 the epilogue - this story doesnt end at happily ever after. Instead we get to know, how they make a living for themselves and sneak a little into their daily lifes. I truly appreciate that, its a nice way of comforting the Reader out of the story.

This wonderful art is from @pinkpiggy93! 🩷

Most beloved quote:

"And i love you too, my dear," he said firmly. "You are so very easy to love."

And isnt this quite a sentence, we all need to hear?

So if you are into good omens, fairytales, long fanfics to really dive in to for several hundred pages, some surprises and of course a happy ending - this is quite the story for you.

🩷🤗

Reading is not a hobby, its an attitude.

[bailey-dreamfoot]

Bowser and Luigi Incorrect Quotes Because Why Not Honestly

Luigi, handing a balloon to Bowser: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Bowser, walking off: I don't have one either.

Luigi: Bowser, I need some advice.

Bowser: You need advice from ME?

Luigi: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Luigi: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Bowser: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Luigi: You don’t have to wear…

Bowser: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Bowser: I made tea.

Luigi: I don't want tea.

Bowser: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Luigi: Then why did you tell me?

Bowser: It's a conversation starter.

Luigi: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Bowser: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Luigi: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Bowser: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Bowser: Luigi and I are no longer dating.

Luigi: Bowser, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Luigi: *is visibly upset*

Bowser: Luigi, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Luigi: You don't know anything about me!

Bowser: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: You don't know anything about me!

Luigi: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: A decision had to be made.

Luigi: And you fucked it up!

Luigi: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?

Bowser: Making four accounts.

Luigi, tearing up: Really...?

Bowser: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Luigi: Not by the law!

Luigi: Bowser is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

Luigi: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Bowser: I wrote you a poem.

Luigi, already crying: You did?

Bowser: Love makes people do stupid things.

Luigi: I love everything!

Bowser: That explains a lot.

Luigi: Hey.

Bowser: Hey?

Luigi: I can't sleep. :/

Bowser: I can. Goodnight.

Luigi: Bowser, you need to react when people cry!

Bowser: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Bowser, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Luigi, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Bowser: You're violent.

Luigi: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Bowser: Do you have a self-care routine?

Luigi: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

Luigi: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind.

Bowser: Thank god.

Luigi: So I was just having a conversation with Bowser about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!

Bowser: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.

Luigi: Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????

Bowser: Exhaust?

Luigi: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.

Bowser: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole…

Luigi: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.

Bowser: We're onto something here!

Luigi: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.

Bowser: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

Luigi: His lightsaber does though.

Bowser: *thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*

Luigi: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.

Bowser: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.

Luigi: Fair point.

(^ ive litterally never seen that before in my life, so i thought it was funny. but like- imagine they're talking ab Bowser's Castle design.)

Bowser: If by any chance Luigi should attack, just start calmly talking about anything.

Luigi: Bowser told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

Bowser: Whether or not I pay income taxes is none of the government's business.

Luigi: No, well, actually, it is.

Bowser: You don't know my name or what I look like, good luck finding me.

Bowser, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Luigi: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Bowser: I absolutely fucking do not.

Bowser: What is this!?

Luigi: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

Bowser: Ow! Make it stop!

Luigi: Surrender to your kindness, Bowser. It’s nice to be nice.

Bowser: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

Bowser: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Luigi: Killed without hesitation.

Bowser: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Luigi: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

Luigi: How many children do you have?

Bowser: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Luigi: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Bowser: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Luigi: ...

Luigi: You mean ring bearER, right?

Bowser: ...

Luigi: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

[sysmedsaresexist]

⚡️News Flash⚡️

ToSD and the ICD - 2023

Autopilot functionality and self-destructive behavior in patients with complex dissociative disorders-A qualitative study

"One important theory of [DDs] is the [ToSD]. It distinguishes between [EPs] that are linked to traumatic memories and [ANPs] functioning in daily life. The 11th revision of the [ICD] newly introduced the diagnosis of [P-DID], acknowledging this theory by including components of it into a clinical diagnostic system."

It's a really interesting article that looks at those with OSDD/DDNOS/P-DID. It also has this amazing quote about functionality and distress, which everyone should read.

Please give it a go, despite the length.

---

In relating to themselves, most participants reported a functional, conformist behavior that we named “autopilot functionality,” one key feature being an explicit outward orientation of the patients, meaning that they tended to focus on other people’s needs rather than their own.

I did not exist. My environment existed. (P9)

From the participants’ point of view, parents played an essential role in the development of this outward-oriented behavior. The participants described that from an early age, they had the impression that their wishes and needs were unimportant. Rather, they felt that they had to conform to the wishes of their caregivers. This led to feelings of guilt and a constant suppression of their own needs and feelings.

The way I grew up… it was rather that I have to take care of my parents and what I want doesn’t actually matter… the main thing is that my parents are well and everyone else is well because otherwise… so I just always had feelings of guilt. […] So the relationship with myself, it was always rather oriented towards the others. (P3(2))

In this context, the participants also reported that they had learned to have little compassion for themselves, so that it felt normal for them to continue to function even though they were feeling bad.

There I am not very sympathetic with myself. That comes from the time when I was a child and for example, I can remember it well, my grandma had died and the teacher then said that I don’t have to do my homework and then I somehow didn’t understand what the one thing had to do with the other. And I think somehow that my mother is also a bit like that, that you still have to do everything somehow, even if it makes you feel bad. (P6)

The outward orientation learned from the caregivers later spread into various areas of life and affected relationships with children, friends, and colleagues. For many participants, work was a field in which they were very functional but often ignored physical needs like hunger, thirst, sleep, or pain in order to (over)fulfill the requirements of their workplace.

You start [work] at 12:30 p.m. and then you have to eat before or after, because there’s no break for six hours of work and then I just comply with the shift. […] And then I was with colleagues who said: “How that, you don’t take breaks, come take a break with us now.” And I said: “I’m not entitled to a break.” (P6(2))

The participants felt enormous pressure to maintain a façade to the outside. This could mean performing well in school or at work, or taking special care of their appearance so that nobody would realize something was not okay.

I always knew that I am not allowed to neglect my body, I have to take care, I need to wash myself, I need to brush my teeth because it’s really dangerous if someone sees that you are not feeling well. That has always been clear to me. (P4)

This mechanism of maintaining a façade had disadvantages for the participants. Because they looked so “normal” and continued to function, it was difficult for those around them to understand that they were not well, which made the participants feel isolated and not understood.

The worse I felt, the more I worked, and almost no one outside understands that. (P1)

The constant focus on functioning for others was exhausting for the participants and made it hard to develop a sense of self. For one participant, it even felt like she had to find a new identity after therapy, because she realized that she had only functioned for others.

Interesting actually that one doesn’t notice that at all. That one is actually only functioning and functioning, but functions really well, because one lives and works for other people. That was a very, very sad insight for me that I said, now I have half of my life behind me and had to realize that now I am born again, and I will look for my new identity with my new personality […]. Because before that, I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t have any boundaries, I was perfect in everything I did, of course. And now? (P9)

Participants described that one factor that helped them to function was their lack in perceiving feelings and bodily signals. For example, they had difficulties adequately perceiving hunger, thirst, and pain. Consequently, participants compared themselves to robots or machines that worked well but were unable to be in connection with themselves.

In the end, I didn’t feel at all whether the life I’m leading right now is actually what I want or whether I’m just doing it, just to do it, let alone that I felt anything. It was really only getting up, going to work, doing therapy, going home again, working, and somehow it was just like that. I think a robot captures it quite well, well programmed, but that’s just it. (P8(2))

As already described above, these difficulties with the perception of stimuli from within the body also made it difficult for the participants not to overburden themselves. They often only noticed that they had overstepped their boundaries through extreme physical signals (e.g., migraine and sleep disturbances). They also described overburdening as a strategy to distract themselves from complicated feelings and to avoid conflicts.

I was just astonished. Shit why do I have such a migraine now? Or why am I so exhausted and empty…? So, I always had the feeling that I had to do something, maybe to distract myself and I didn’t want anyone to feel offended or somehow get into a fight with me, so I preferred to do it and think to myself, okay, I have a fever of 40 °C, but I’ll do it anyway. (P7)

[loverofpiggies]

Hey guys, I got something I’m ready to talk about under the cut. It’s super long! And it’s pretty serious, so feel free to scroll past. It’s also about some serious subject matter regarding transphobia, so if you’re not in a good place and ready to read about something like that, take care of yourself first and foremost. Okay?

Okay.

Hey guys, I’ve been doing a lot of self discovery these last few…. I guess technically my whole life, but I only got serious about focusing and working on it these last few years, and it has to do with my history of transphobia. I want to talk about my journey of growth, and what I’ve done to grow, and maybe it could help anyone else dealing with similar issues.

I was a pretty…. Hateful kid, to put it lightly. I was very angry, VERY angry, and obsessed over all this anger and hatred I had at everyone, but especially at myself. I’ve been in therapy as far back as I can remember, and more meds than I’d like to admit, trying to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me. Which was a lot, by the way.

Anyway, around 2016, I got really serious about therapy. As a kid I didn’t take it seriously, but by 2016 I knew I needed help. I realized how my anger was ripping me apart, and how deeply it was rooted in hating myself. So, without therapy, and without the tools of therapy, I’d try to alter thoughts as they’d happen. I’d see someone dressed in a way I didn’t like? My thoughts immediately turned to hatred and judgementality. I taught myself to step back, and go, ‘hold on. You don’t know them. That’s a lot to assume about someone you’ve never talked to.’ and it helped curb a lot of my most angry and judgemental thoughts, at least, I thought so. In truth, all it did, was bury the issue, instead of addressing it.

Going into therapy seriously this time as an adult, I started unburying my own trauma, small bit by small bit. I started journaling a lot of it out, and my therapist put it best. Going to therapy is like trying to untangle a ball of paperclips. You might be like ‘ah, I just want to take this one paperclip out’ but it’s attached to so many other things you wouldn’t have guessed, and eventually you just. End up with the whole ball. You go to therapy for one ‘small’ thing, oops, you’re talking about this huge other thing that you never knew was related.

Also at this point, I was pretty serious about my spirituality. I was sick of being so angry and judgemental, I got deep into meditation and learning about compassion, because… well I lacked so much of it for so long. My favorite quote, that helped me grow the most, is “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete” by Jack Kornfield. Another one I adore, is, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” attributed to lots of people so I’m not actually sure who the original quoter is. If you watched a lot of my early streams, I was pretty obsessed with kindness and spirituality at that point! Half the time the streams turned into talks about that, lol. Sorry if that was a bit much, I was in a ‘place’ at that time.

After realizing how angry I was, and being so exhausted from it, I swung the opposite way pretty hard. I knew what it felt like to be angry and judgemental, and hurt people because of it. I’ve seen people I was very close to in my life, destroy relationships because of anger. And I was trying so hard to make up for it, to stop being so angry. I didn’t want to hurt people anymore, I didn’t want to hurt myself, and I wanted to be kind and understanding about perspectives I spent so long cutting off. And the therapy helped, a lot! I worked on a lot of deep issues, and my mind, more and more, started being less angry. I also got on meds, because we *finally* figured out what my issue was, and got me on the right medication. At least, once I got over my ‘I don’t need medication’ phase. Which was an absolute blessing.

I thought to myself, ah ha! Look at me, look at all this progress! I’m not angry or judgemental anymore. I’ve opened up so many doors, learned so many new things, I’m okay now, I don’t need any further help.’ With all the progress I had made, I really believed I didn’t need anymore work. The growth I made in just a couple years was astounding, and I wasn’t where I needed to be, but by this point I had the tools I needed to work on things myself. This was what I told myself anyway.

Also around this time, I was making my first close trans friends. And there was this weird, nasty feeling in my head, that I thought I had gotten past. These angry, judgemental thoughts cropped back up again, and they shocked me. I thought I was past this sort of anger, this judgementality. I didn’t want to look at it. I didn’t want to acknowledge it, or look deeper. I didn’t want to think that I could be so mean again, especially after all the work and growth I put in. So, I shoved it away, as hard as I could. I didn’t want to see it, and I didn’t want to think about it.

The problem with trying to shove angry, and judgemental, hateful thoughts away, is they don’t actually go away. They stay, and force themselves out in other ways. They come back as ‘jokes’ or ignorant angry comments. They come out subconsciously, as a defensive reaction. But… I didn’t want to acknowledge that I might be transphobic, or have transphobic thoughts. I didn’t want to be angry. So when I’d ‘joke’, or make a comment, I’d feel ashamed, and try to bury it deeper. And deeper. And it just made it worse. I also used my therapy as a defense mechanism too, without realizing it. “I’m fine now, I’ve gone to therapy, I don’t need any more work, I’m fine!” So. I buried it. I think there’s a pattern here.

After years of therapy, you’d think I’d realize what was going on. I was trying to bury this, the way I tried to bury all my anger for so many years. I knew from experience, that burying the issue does not work, and just makes it so much worse in the long run. But, I didn’t actually realize I was burying it. I was so deep in my own denial, that I couldn’t see it. Because there was a lot of deep shame there, too. I had so many amazing trans friends, and the experiences they had dealt with by this time, JUST for being trans, horrified me. I never, *ever* wanted to be a source of pain for them. But I’d still make comments, or ‘jokes’. Then, I’d feel horrible, crushing guilt, and try to force that bad side of me down even further.

By this point, a good majority of my friend group was either trans, or non binary. I loved them so much, and didn’t want to acknowledge my issues, or the fact that I had thoughts that could hurt them. Eventually, one of my trans friends approached me, and my god, I’m so lucky to have them in my life. But they approached me, telling me “I know you don’t mean to hurt anyone. I think… maybe it’s time to talk to your therapist about this.”

And… they were right. I spent so much time in denial, once they said this to me, it clicked. Yes, I do need to talk to someone. I can’t live like this anymore. If compassion is as important to me as I’ve always said, I need to work on any parts of me that still hold anger. But I was also so terrified, after spending so long trying to avoid it, now I was going to open up to someone? And say whatever my thoughts were out loud? What if I couldn’t be fixed? What if I was destined to be hateful and angry forever, no matter how hard I worked? I didn’t want to hear my own thoughts. I didn’t want to see this awful side of me, after spending so long trying to ‘defeat it’. I didn’t even know how dark it got, and my mind conjured all sorts of nasty ideas of how ‘bad’ of a person I was.

So. I walked into my therapist’s office, and said… out loud. “I think I’m transphobic. And I hate it.” I’ll leave a lot of details out, because it’s pretty personal, but I’ll go over the important things I discovered. After she let me speak for a bit, we turned to my gender identity. She asked me things in detail. I’m a cis woman, so I didn’t think I had any issues with my gender identity, so her questions confused me, but deeper than that, they scared me. There was still something inside of me that wanted to fight back, to protect me from whatever was coming. But I pushed forward.

As we pulled apart the paperclips, and started getting to the root of my true, deeper issue, I started to realize something. See, I’m pretty confident and comfortable in my skin. At least, I believed I was. I told myself, anyway. In a similar vein as I used ‘compassion’ to shove away parts of myself I hated, I used ‘confidence’ to shove away the insecure parts of myself as well. Which, I mean, couldn’t be a more false version of confidence OR compassion if you ask me.

I started to realize that I had a deep insecurity about my own femininity. A deep, crippling insecurity. See, my face and body are pretty androgynous. With long hair, I can look like a girl, but with short hair I can look pretty boyish. I don’t have much of a figure, or a chest, so I can be mistaken for a boy under lots of circumstances. That, combined with the fact that tight clothes are uncomfortable for me, meant overall I looked very unfeminine. And I was bullied a lot for it, growing up. Kids would call me a boy. In highschool, I was made fun of a lot, too. I’d be made fun of for not looking like a ‘girl’. This was only one factor of my bullying at the time, like I mentioned before. I had a lot of pretty severe behavior issues, so it sorta made me a prime target for bullying. I wanted to be viewed as a girl, as a woman. But because my looks didn’t fit enough into their ‘boxes’, I was made fun of. I was laughed at, and I can’t tell you how often people would say things like ‘are you SURE you’re a girl down there?’.

And this was the smoking gun. I finally had the realization I needed. This is hard to write, but. Because I didn’t fit in the mold of what my peers thought a woman was, I felt guilt, and I felt shame. And I shoved it away. And realized… subconsciously, I was doing what was done to me, to my trans friends. To the trans community. And it hurt. It hurt so much, to realize what I was doing. But now it also made so much sense. The guilt, the trying to ‘play it off’, the avoidance, the burying. It was so painful to grow up with those comments, that my mind was trying to shove away and hide me from realizing I was continuing the cycle of pain.

Not only that, but in therapy I learned something else. I’m still working through this, but. I realized as well I have dysphoria, and some mild dysmorphia. The fact that I was perceived so differently then I felt about myself in my adolescence, followed me deeply into adulthood.

I realized that when I would have friends talk about dysmorphia, my defense mechanism would kick in, to avoid me thinking that I might have the same issue. In fact, all my defense mechanisms would kick in, to avoid me from reliving the bullying and the trauma.

And anyone who knows anything about therapy, knows how much this shit hurts. It hurts SO much to open up wounds you’ve tried to hide, to look in and see where the real issue lies. To realize that maybe you haven’t been as kind as you wanted, even if it wasn’t intentional.

But… after the tears, and the pain of reliving this, and ripping open all the doors I was trying to close, to shove away… there was relief. I finally knew what was wrong. And that I knew where to start working. How to start helping myself grow, and be better.

So many things clicked, and my issues with transphobia evaporated. Finally facing it, finally confronting it, and realizing the deeper sides of myself, took away all that power my anger was holding onto. I had to reteach myself that, ‘hey, thanks for trying to protect me, but I’m okay now. You don’t have to protect me anymore.’

I’m still working on my issues with my femininity. After realizing this, I went through my closet and got rid of everything that made me feel ‘unpretty’. I went thrift shopping, and found looser clothes that still made me feel like a girl. I’m slowly growing my hair out, to see if I’m happier with long hair, or happier with short. In truth, I’m rediscovering myself again. It’s easier to look in the mirror.

The defensive reactions went away. The ‘jokes’ disappeared, and I didn’t have to fight to bury anything anymore. And I could be the supportive friend I always deeply wanted to be. To push back at a society that doesn’t like people ever sitting outside specific ‘molds’. To help make a world be safer for anyone who doesn’t align with the mainstream idea of what being a person is. To what being a man, or a woman is. To being whatever a human is.

This has been very long. But. I wanted to go through the entire experience, every step, to show how I worked on myself. And how I grew, from this darker, angrier, unhappy version of myself. And that maybe it could help anyone else who’s had the same experience. I also wanted to go through all of this, to show the steps I’ve made. And to my trans and nonbinary friends? To all the people in the trans community that I may have hurt in the past? I’m sorry. Genuinely, and truly. I never wanted to be another source of pain, especially to trans people, who already experience so much discrimination.

This was a painful experience to go through, but one I definitely needed. I’m still journaling, working on my issues and working on becoming a happier me. I had to take my time to discover myself, and wanted to open up about my journey to yall. I was finally ready to talk about this.

Anyway. I hope you have a beautiful day, and I hope every day is happier than the last. Cheers yall.

[seraphiism]

𓆩 ღ 𓆪 𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐬

( what am i thinking, fooling myself into the belief that i'm capable of anything at all? )

chara : kaveh fandom : genshin impact quote cr : marya hornbacher a/n : gender neutral reader. talks of self-deprecation

I. 9 : 24 pm OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST BRILLIANT OF MINDS WAVER, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY ON AN ARCHITECT'S SHOULDERS. there is a tiring, a discouragement, and the creeping doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

how quickly time passes, slips through his fingers. the seconds tick and tick and tick ; he counts them : one two three four, but the seconds twist to hours in a blur, a haze that he cannot seek safe passage from, and he knows he is losing against time.

his head pounds, throbs with countless thoughts that race and cannot be put at ease. he shuts his eyes, elbows on his desk, and buries his face in his hands.

inhale, exhale. he is so terribly tired.

inhale again, shaky. exhale once more, trembling, on the verge of break.

he wants to give up, call it, admit defeat, admit that maybe he's lost his touch, found an ending to diamond days. he is so terribly exhausted, a worn heart beating only enough to pay grievances to muscle memory and give so little towards a withering creativity.

maybe he isn't meant for this anymore. perhaps he never was from the beginning.

inhale. exhale. a soul hangs on edge, sinews of gold awaiting in restoration for the quiet breaking of it all.

"kaveh?"

he straightens his posture, turns towards you with wide eyes. he has always worn his heart proudly on his sleeve, found vulnerability to be a beautiful thing in everyone but himself at rare times. a panic in red hues, then the forceful drowning of sorrows as he smiles a smile that doesn't meet his eyes.

you place the cup of tea before him, watching his shoulders relax at the warmth of it and the feeling of your hand on his back. he offers his thanks, smiles yet again, but there is something so heart wrenching in it that you cannot even think.

you nod, purse your lips, lean back on the desk ever so slightly. there are sketches and plans scattered about, works in progress both polished and unpolished, some wielding haphazard marks of frustration in stagnancy. you find yourself unsure of what to say, of how to comfort him, because you do not know what you can do to support him, not really. you do not share the same knowledge as he does in his craft, though you always find fascination in his ramblings for future designs and projects.

"i'm alright." he immediately tells you, hands on the teacup. it burns, yet he does not let go. he does not wish to concern you, not when the fault lies entirely with him. this should be easy, shouldn't take this long, yet he cannot make progress despite the efforts put forth. this should be easy. "just a little tired, that's all."

he watches the way your brows furrow ever so slightly, the concern on your features unable to be hidden. you reach a hand out, one he takes with such ease and gentleness. it burns.

"let go, love. it'll hurt you."

he releases his hold on the tea cup. the sensation goes away, leaves a kind numbness in its absence. you squeeze his hand, your lips a ghost of a touch against his knuckles.

"don't burn yourself, kaveh."

II. 12 : 47 am OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST RESILIENT STAGGER, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY ON AN ARCHITECT'S MIND. there is a knowing, a resignation, and the sharp doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

the tea cup is cold and empty, desolate. his fingers trace over it, the gold woven in porcelain so bright and yet so quick to shatter. sleep rests heavy on his eyes, lashes fluttering in failed means to stay awake, but he is losing against slumber.

his head aches ; he cannot seem to think, to move, to do anything. he is so very tired of this all. he leans back in the chair, tilts his head back and shuts his eyes.

in and out. deep breath. he releases the tension from his shoulders, loosens his jaw. he does not know how long he stills for -- it feels as if it's only seconds, but he opens his eyes to the sight of your approach, glances at the clock and realizes that minutes have passed.

he looks up at you when you lean over him, one hand resting on the chair, another pinching his cheek as you smile, fatigued. it is getting late. he is used to working through the night, but it feels later than it should, feels like time is both endless and almost nearing.

"you shouldn't wait for me." he tells you, gentle. "i'll be with you soon."

you hum, half skeptical and half amused. you lean down, kiss his forehead, then his lips, watch his wondrous smile bloom from your love.

"want more tea?"

"it's alright." kaveh responds, reaching up for you in silent plea for yet another act of ardor. "i just want you to sleep."

you kiss him again, smile against his lips.

"if you need me, i'm here, okay?"

there is a softness & kindness he is all too familiar with in your words, but there is something in the way you look at him that speaks more than either of you could ever say. you linger for a moment longer than usual as you exchange goodnights, and when you leave him, his heart feels lonelier than ever.

he can do this, he can, he tells himself, over and over, until it is a mantra of empty significance : meaningless, haunting, and worthless.

he can do this.

inhale, exhale. he is so terribly tired.

III. 4 : 13 am OH, BUT EVEN THE MOST RESOLUTE FALL, THE PRESSURE IN PERFECTION SETTLING HEAVY IN AN ARCHITECT'S HEART. there is an echo of failure, a surrendering, and the doubt in oneself and all the potential & glory once held in calloused hands.

oh, love, how his hands shake so, even in your hold.

he cannot do this, not anymore. what a lie that all was ; it is almost funny, he thinks, but he breaks entirely, cracks beneath the weight of it all. gods, he is so tired, so tired of doing this, tired of feeling like he's not enough, like he'll never be enough.

"come." you beckon him, his hand in yours as you lead him to bed. something in your heart brewed unease, knew that when you woke, he would not be at your side.

he does not bother to fight anymore, knew it was over the moment you took sight of him shrouded in heartache and misery as his tears fell and fell, endless as his mind told him of his unworthiness. how easily he let you drag him away from his work, finding himself so pitiful for seeking comfort in all he loved and knew.

you are the first to lie down in the bed you share, tugging at him gently as he follows after you. you hold him as close as you can, hand on the back of his head as his tears grace your skin, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

you stay silent, hug him as he cries until there are no tears to be found. it is quiet, this time and space that you both know to be haven.

"did you know," you begin, kissing his head as your fingers weave through blond locks, "that my haven is wherever you are?" you feel his grasp on you tighten, desperate. "everyone has somewhere that they cherish deeply, don't they? whether it's home or anywhere they feel safe."

there is something warm that falls on your skin, trails down your neck. you smile, your voice tender.

"everything and every place you have ever built is someone's haven, kaveh. you made someone's home, made a place where someone sleeps, made a place where someone falls in love. you are so wonderfully bright and brilliant-- so hardworking and kind. i won't let you forget that, not even for a little bit."

he cannot bring himself to speak, cannot even bring himself to stifle the sobs that escape. you hum a gentle lullaby, one you know that he once loved as a child, hold him until the words sink in and the self-hatred abates. it is when he finally looks at you that you stop, allow the still air to return once more. there it is, you think -- that revival of hope, a semblance of returning courage to try once again.

he tries to talk, tries to say thank you, but words are not enough, but you know. you know him as well as you know yourself, so you nod, understanding of it all.

"there's always tomorrow, dearest. we can try again tomorrow."

he is the one who nods this time, exhaustion hitting full force from everything he has felt today. yes, kaveh thinks, there is always a tomorrow. a tomorrow where he wakes by your side, a tomorrow where he wishes you a good morning, and a tomorrow to try again.

he murmurs a thank you, i love you into the etches of your skin, and finally succumbs to the divinity that is you. in the echoes of a moonlit night, you fall asleep together, knowing that there will be better days ahead.

[bitchesgetriches]

I know we're supposed to dress professionally for job interviews and all but having colorful nails/doing nail art is a really important hobby and way of expressing myself. I was thinking of painting my nails the usual way for interviews to gauge if they care? Like if they care so much about how my nails look do i really want to work there? I've only worked retail jobs so idk if it's reasonable/common for companies to not like fun nails (I'm looking to move into front desk/receptionist jobs for medical/dental places)

To quote Kitty,

"Don’t wait until your last day to let everyone know you’re unique and exceptional. You’ll attract attention, make friends, and gain support so much faster if you tell people who you are right from the get-go.

Progress at work sometimes boils down to luck, but the respect of your coworkers is a luck-amplifying magical McGuffin. Friendships make or break you in the workplace, both in terms of career opportunities and your personal sanity. And I can’t think of anything more exhausting than trying to make friends with people who don’t get you."

In other words: go for it, honey bee!!

(read the whole article here: Can Looking Weird at Work Be Good for Your Career?)

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

[melodyfsoul1]

LOKI S2 FINALE GLORIOUS PURPOSE

Just spent over an hour crying over the Loki S2 Finale, and still havent recovered, but here I go anyway with my Reaction/ Review

*Loki S2 E6 Spoilers ahead*

Okay so... before watching the episode I wrote down a couple things that I did NOT want to happen/ but knowing myself, and my luck with my characters, figured that was exactly what would happen....

and turns out... I was correct....

Back in Infinty War I feared/ predicted that Loki was gonna die in the first 10 min in a stupid way where he wouldnt be able to show off his powers... and we all know how that turned out...

For this season finale, all I hoped was that Loki, for once wouldnt play the self sacrifical lamb, and find a way where he didnt have to lose Mobius and his new found friends, where he would be not alone...

So.... yeah.... about that....

Now to the Review/ Reaction:

God I was so scared

"Glorious Purpose"

The title alone had me tearing up.... we really came full circle back to S1 E1 and the fact that they started the recap with 2012 Loki too...

1 min 30 in and I'm already pausing, THE INTRO IS BACKWARDS, thar was so cool

So we all knew Loki would have to go back and try to safe everyone

BUT MARVEL DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW US TIMELY DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (and in so many angles too....)

Then Loki trying to learn everything OB knows to be prepared to help, but it would take time, makes sense

"CENTURIES LATER"

WHAT?! They really did that, good thing Loki has that long Life span...

The fact that all the characters realizes sth was off with Loki but MOBIUS is the one to stop and talks to him, and Loki telling him to trust him.... my heart

OH MY GOD ITS WORKING?! And Timely survived too? Did not expect that

I have never seen Loki this relieved/ happy but at the same time sad and exhausted before...

But of course its never that "easy"

No matter what, the infinite amount of branches will always detroy the loom, so the moment a timeline branched everything was doomed from he start... Ah yes Marvel and their existential dread...

Loki going back to before Sylvie killed He Who Remains, trying to convince her not to kill him.... and of course she says he has to kill her if he wants to stop her...

God Loki's Emotional Damage....

Of course Loki cant

HWR COULD HAVE STOPPED TIME THAT THE WHOLE TIME!??!! The fact that he figured Loki has gone through this whole scene before and still just watched

He knows about time slipping...

He paved he road

He planned this

Him and Loki had this conversations before

"We die with the dying, we are born with the dead"

That is such a sick quote :0

Its basically Loki vs HWR forever, and Loki knows he will always lose... but still wants to try... kudos to his determination

And of course Loki cant bring himself to trade lives... not Sylvie's, not his friends and not the multiverses...

Loki goes back to the first time he talked to Mobius...NOOOOO not the Throne talk, why does this feel like a final good bye talk.... I HATE IT

Though S1 E1 Mobius having a chat with S2 E6 Loki is such an interesting concept

He wants to find out how they chose who lives and dies... ("Who lives, who dies, who tells your story" huh? Sorry but I had to make that Hamilton reference XD)

"You're not gonna find comfort in the TVA" - Mobius to Loki

BUT HE DID, LOKI DID FIND COMFORT, IN YOU MOBIUS, Im gonna cry ... the TVA was the first place where Loki could just be himself and he found friends there too

Also Mobius might be the only comfort character who actually gives comfort (and isnt just an angsty mess who hasnt had a happy day ever)

Mobius telling the story of a hunter who couldnt kill a kid, which caused more death, loosing sight of the bigger picture

So he is talking about himself right? And of course Renslayer was the Partner

Mobius telling Loki they have to chose a burden and live with it... that it leaves scars.

Theres this sinking feeling again

And the scene SPGAHETTIFIES?! I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL, NOT AGAIN, STOP GIVING US FANS PTSD THROUGH VISUAL EFFECTS

I dont know what to think of Loki & Sylvie's final talk.... Loki has an idea?

Oh NoNONONONONONO

I FREAKING KNEW HE WAS GONNA GO THE SELF SACRFICE ROUTE BACK FROM EP 1 AND I FIGURED HE WOULD TAKE TIMELY'S PLACE IN EP 5 BUT THIS?!

Cant he ever be happy?! Is there any Loki, in any universe who actually gets to be happy?!

The fact that Mobius was the first to notice and that him and Sylvie immediately followed Loki, tried to talk him out of it

Loki looking back, saying he finally knows what he wants

MY HEART

LOKI WALKING THROUGH SPACE WITHSTANDING THE RADIATION JUST LIKE THOR WITHSTOOD THE DYING STAR IN INFINITY WAR, THE PARALLELS

THE NEW OUTFIT, THE CAPE, HIS HORNED HELMET, OH MY GOD

It looks like an End of Time Aesthetic Version of his Ragnarok Outfit wih the Cracked Kintsugi helmet

Ngl at first I had no idea if he was using his powers to manually destroy, change or preserve the branches.... or weave them together

Oh and to be clear I was crying during like the whole last 20 min of the episode because that was just too many emotions at once

Also can we talk about how freaking cool looking the shots of Loki with the new Helmet and the branches being his cape, were?!

The throne... Oh god the remains of HWR throne...

LOKI'S GLORIOUS PURPOSE WAS TAKING ON THE BURDEN OF THE THRONE HE NEVER WANTED

*starts violently sobbing*

Poetic, Ironic and Heartbreaking, all at the same time

Like, is it extremely cool to see him use his powers to his full potential? Yes definitely.

Were the cinematics beautiful? Yes of course, it was gorgeous, tho the moment I realized he was making Yggdrasil, I started bawling my eyes out, because "You go Loki, show us what you can do"

But I also felt my heart break because Loki is now at the end if time, chose to have to watch over & protect the multiverse, all alone, forever.... (can he leave that place?)

Like this is the very same Loki, who just, 1 episode ago, admitted that he is terrified of being alone, who just wants to be with his friends. L1130 is a Loki who was actually happy and had friends, a place where he felt safe because he could be himself. And he gave EVERYTHING up to give EVERYONE ELSE a chance at life, a life he might not be able to take part in... he can watch, but we dont know if he can interact with them....

I literally talked about that in my reaction/ review from last episode. Sylvie & Loki are both selfish, which is ironically a very human trait (them being gods and all), but unlike Sylvie, Loki would actually give up everything to safe others, which is exactly what he did.

And I know Comic Loki, God of Stories, wrote himself out if the Narrative as well, out of the Story, to look behind the curtain, have a talk with the beings behind everything, but that Loki also had Verity, he had a friend outside of everything, he had someome to talk to, a friend. Verity is one of my fav characters and I would have loved to see her Comic Version too in the MCU, but I saw B-15's Name was revealed to be Verity Willis, so thats is cool Easter Egg :D

Back to Loki, I honestly cant tell which Loki has it the worst... I always thought the main Loki dying to Thanos had it the worst, but he sth akin to a life and he got the chance to mend his relationship with Thor before he died his heroes' death...

Now L1130, in the worst case, is damned to spent eternity alone, the very thing he is scared of, being without his friends, forced to watch from afar as they live life without him, when all he wanted was to be with them... that is unless he can just leave the place whenever he wants to (if the branches allow it I guess?) But if it turns out that he cant leave that place/ or interact with anyone, without everything going down immediately, then I would argue that this Loki's life is worse than the other's death... and I cant believe Im describing Infinity War Loki's Death as a mercy...

Back to the ep...

AFTER?! Right theres an after

The TVA is still intact, with a new leader ship and everyone working together, B-15, OB, Casey and even Ms Minutes is helping?

Mobius looks so sad doing his job though...

Hes gonna LEAVE?! He wants to experience his own life on the timeline, huh... Loki did promise that to Don... and M is going for it, thats sweet actually

Renslayer got sent to the end of time, Alioth waiting for her, well then

Mobius seeing what his life used to be is so sweet, likes how perfectly imperfect is it

Sylvie visits too?

"Its weird Loki's not around" she says and I start bawling my eyes out again, now thats just salting the wound.... at least they remember him

NOOOOO THE SHOT OF LOKI IN HIS THRONE

He is smiling, but he's crying too

Is there ANY Marvel Movie, or Show where Loki doesnt cry?!?! My freaking heart...

Look I know this ending makes rational sense.... and it was defintely epic, and we finally got Loki at his full potential, and yes, Loki being finally recongnized as one of the most powerful MCU characters is cool.

But personally, on an emotional level, that ending is somewhere between bittersweet and absolutely heart breakingly dreadful, because Loki didnt want this, he didnt want the throne, he only did this to save his friends, he gave up his own happiness and I hate it... I know he is happier knowing his friends have a chance at life and that he chose this, but there wasnt much of an choice with HWR....

I just hope that Loki learning to control time means he can at least visit his friend, pop in from time to time, because if him leaving the throne/ the branches means everything could come crashing down, then thats just sad...

And what does that mean for the teased Loki & Thor Reunion?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?! We didnt even get an end credit scene?!

Anyways, I'm gonna rewatch the season the next couple days and go through some theories and head canons and see whether that will change my opinion on the ending, but we'll see.

[siconetribal]

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 7

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Jason is in BIG trouble now, Y/N has decided on who she is strangling, Gotham's greatest detectives at work, RIP mop

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Citlalli noticed the slight droop in her friend’s shoulders. She looked defeated, something rare and it hurt. There was no time to comfort her though, the line of customers growing. The two of them ran back and forth between the register and machines, cranking out the orders as best they could. Jason’s name was one of the first few called, so he made his way over to the pick up station and grabbed the complicated order topped with whip cream and colored foam. Wrinkling his nose at it, he called out a small thanks before making his way back to his seat. The gazes of the other customers hardly bothered him. He was used to being looked at, either out of attraction as Jason Todd or fear as the infamous Red Hood. 

Where do I find IAmBatman? She logs in at night at that lounge, but who knows what time she’ll actually get there? I have to go out on patrol tonight too. Even if I was free, what’s my plan? Sit here all day drinking coffee until they close? I didn’t bring my laptop, I can’t log in myself to see when she logs in. There’s no way I’m sitting in that lounge all day! I game, but I’m not going to sit there like some creepy stalker loser jumping at the chime of the door. They’d call the cops on me for sure. He glared at his cup, slowly turning it in place. There had to be something he could do. Something he was missing. It has to be right in front of me, I’m just not seeing it. He sighed, ruffling the front of his hair before taking another sip. “I hate to say it, but I should probably ask Grayson for some advice. He came up with the IP idea and that at least got me closer.” He muttered and slouched in his seat. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes for a brief moment to shut out the world around him. You’re one step closer, Todd, one step closer. Even if I did see her, what did I plan on doing or saying? I’ll come back on a night when I'm free.

Finishing the last of his drink, he tossed the cup and grabbed the two others. He gave a small wave to Citlalli and a nod to Y/N on his way out, thanking them again. The two responded in unison to his gratitude as they continued to crank out the orders. When there was much wanted lull in customers, the two flopped onto their stools and let out a heavy sigh of relief and exhaustion. Midway through the rush, two other employees had clocked in and came to their rescue.

“Damn, we should’ve paid attention to the time. I didn’t realize it was time for the school to let out! Ai, my poor, poor feet!” Citlalli rolled her ankles.

“We should have some sort of alarm system set up that goes off every Monday to Friday that warns of the teenie bopper tidal wave.” Y/N rubbed her lower back. In all the running back and forth, she had nearly slipped more times than she could count, but there was no time to stop. If there was even one complaint and it just so happened to reach their boss, she shuddered at the thought. I’d never hear the end of it! We’d been stuck here until our next shift!

“You think Mr. B would let us?”

“Doubt it,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “It’d cramp the aesthetic,” she emphasized with air quotes. “Not like we’d have some blaring five alarm bell that would freak the customers out. It’d be something for us back here so we aren’t caught off guard by so many orders at once.”

“Not to mention those stupid mobile orders, custom orders, and don’t even get me started on those bullshit “top secret” menu orders that all those de mierda influencers go on and on about online!” Citlalli fumed, once again falling into rapid Spanish as she cursed the bloggers, vloggers, and internet gurus for coming up with the crazy concoctions that sounded horrendously disgusting at times.

“I know, Cici, I know.” Y/N handed her a glass of cold water to help distract her from the thought. If there was one thing Citlalli hated, it was the obnoxious younger generation that thought the world owed them. She could easily go on for hours about the overly privileged rich kids that were taking over and how ungrateful and undisciplined they were, demanding things to be done right away and perfectly perfect every time. Y/N was no fan of the snobby majority either, but these brats were what paid the bills. If these caffeine addicted wannabe famous elites were what kept the water running, she would just put up with the convoluted orders. Especially now that I have that 4k bill on top of it all. She sighed again. How many tortuous and agonizing drinks would it take to finally start making a dent in that bill?

“Oh, you actually got it! You know, for all your tough guy “I’m not mister nice guy”, you do nice things quite often.” Barbara grinned at his eyebrow twitching in response. “Am I wrong?” She raised one of her own eyebrows before tipping the fancy beverage in his direction as a thanks before leaving the room with a sense of victory while Jason stood there grumbling and muttering under his breath.

“I’m not a nice guy,” he insisted to himself.

“Of course, Master Jason, there is nothing nice about standing in one’s way while they are trying to enter the room.” Alfred’s voice caught him by surprise. It was no surprise that Alfred was a highly capable individual, but to be able to sneak up on any of them and so consistently was unheard of. Not for Alfred Pennyworth.

“Sorry Alfred,” he lightly shook his head and stepped aside.

“Not at all, though there must be something more on your mind to be unable to hear me call for you so many times.” The famous Wayne butler walked into the room, going about his usual tasks.

“Ah, nothing that important.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Just some dumb shit. Is Grayson home?”

“Master Richard,” Alfred stopped what he was doing and stared at Jason with the same unreadable expression he always had. “Master Richard stepped out for the moment, I am not certain when he will be returning, but he did state that he would be in time for dinner. Shall I set your place for dinner tonight?” Jason’s initial reaction was to refuse, but he hesitated. He really needed to speak with Dick, and this was the only way to assure that he at least got a hold of the older Robin somehow.

“Yeah, why not? I didn’t have any plans set or food anyway. Thanks, Alfred,” Jason nodded his head.

“But of course, Master Jason. If you’ll excuse me, I have to make sure the right number of seats are prepared.” He lightly bowed his head before exiting the room before Jason. The infamous Red Hood let out a heavy sigh, tousling his hair. This was becoming more and more of a handful with each passing day.

But I’ll get it done, dammit! I’m fucking Red Hood! I track down and capture the most notorious and difficult to capture villains on the daily! Finding one average civilian should not be this difficult!

It was now a proven fact. There was not a single shred of doubt left in Y/N’s mind. That tall, dark, and handsome stranger was a walking debt machine. A walking, talking withdrawal demon in human skin that was sent from the deepest pits of financial hell to make sure she would never see light outside the slums of Gotham. Satan, himself, must be cringing in sympathy at this cruel and unusual torture she was being put through. What made her so sure? Well, a certain cleaning instrument had been sacrificed in the urgent need to warn Citlalli and their boss, who was due to come in today, had become aware of said hecatomb. He was not pleased with this unscheduled offering, and the bill for its replacement would be removed from her paycheck.

I’m going to kill him. This is going on his tab, I’m going to make him pay me back for said dues, and then I’m going to wring his neck until I’m satisfied! She imagined her fingers wrapping around his throat, it would obviously require both from how strong it looked; and shook him violently as his face slowly drained of any color as he begged for her forgiveness. 

Citlalli saw the malicious smile that curled on her best friend’s lips and noted how it was creeping out the customers. Not wanting her to get in any more trouble, she firmly slapped her on the back. “Get it together, chica! You’re still on the clock and your batshit crazy look is going to get them complaining to the slave driver!” She hissed in her ear, snapping Y/N out of her little daze.

“Owww, didn’t have to hit me that hard.” She scowled in response, attempting to rub the spot, but of course it was just out of reach for her to self soothe. Just my luck, she glared at her best friend one last time before taking the next ticket. She carefully crafted the complex drink, triple checking the instructions to make sure she had it right before bring it to the pickup counter. “Large iced matcha latte with oat milk, brown sugar, white mocha, and strawberry purée in the sweet cream cold foam for…Paizleigh.” Y/N stared at the order and the customer’s name for a moment. Yup and nope, she looked up at those lingering nearby. “Large iced matcha latte with oat milk for Paizleigh.” She called again before placing the cup down in the area marked for O to R names. 

“Hey, is that my drink?” A male customer walked up to the counter.

“This is a large iced matcha latte with oat milk for Paizleigh.” She repeated the information and watched as the gears turned in the teenager’s head. Oh boy, not today. Please, not today!

“OK, but is it mine?” And there was the million-dollar question.

“Is your name Paizleigh?” She asked.

“Uh, no,” he scoffed.

“Then how could it possibly be yours? Are the ears on your head just for show? Did you not just hear me when I said, for the third time, expressly to you, that it’s for someone named Paizleigh?”

“Woah, I was just asking-,”

“Just asking one of the stupidest questions you could ever be asking right now because I literally called this drink out three times, and you know your name is not Paizleigh! Better yet, what was your order, hm? Was it even anywhere close to as complex as this one?”

“Uh, I uh, I just order a medium hot coffee with cream and sugar.”

“Like I thought, nowhere near this,” she pointed to the long ticket sticker with detailed instructions on how to layer all add-ons. “Now that we’ve established just how stupid you are, and I’ve wasted enough time on this, shut up and get back in line until we call your name, which is?”

“So, is it my drink?” The sudden question shattered the little daydream where Y/N was forced to grit her teeth and smile. She let out a heavy sigh. If only she could be so bold. But alas, that would be the day she really wanted to lose this job, which was better than some others she has had.

“What’s your name again?”

“Kevin,” her eyebrow twitched.

“Right, Kevin, this drink is for Paizleigh. So, no, it is not your drink. I’m sure one of the other baristas are working on it right now, and it’ll be out shortly. Thank you for your patience.” She forced herself to let go of the cup before she ended up crushing it, and turned to pull her next ticket. And look at that, the golden Kevin ticket. This is all skunk head’s doing, he’s the living embodiment of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, but just for me.

The quiet dinner that Jason had hoped for was dashed with all the children present with Bruce. It was not unheard of to have dinner as a whole family, but it was pretty uncommon since someone was always busy, namely him. And the one time he decided to show up voluntarily is clearly the day everyone made sure to attend. If this was intentional to spend time, it was heartwarming, but the annoyance easily outweighed the small warm and fuzzy feeling.

I needed to talk to Grayson about the girl, but fucking everyone and their father showed up! Literally our father! He growled in annoyance, beating out his frustration into the crook he caught harassing some pedestrians. At least there are idiots out and active today, I need to vent. He dragged the now unconscious body to a place where the police would spot it before disappearing into the shadows once more. Sitting up on the ledge of his favorite building, Red Hood looked at Magnus. “I know, I know, I need to get it done! It ain’t easy!” It was easier said than done. Since that dinner a few weeks back, it was nearly impossible to find time alone to meet with the first Robin.

“Talking to Mildred again? Are you sure you don’t need to see someone about that?” Nightwing chuckled, appearing from behind the gargoyle.

“The name is Magnus, get it right.”

“Woah, there, I didn’t mean to offend!” The blue crusader put his hands up in surrender. “So, how’d it go?” He grinned, taking a seat beside his younger brother.

“Horrible,” he bluntly answered. “That IP address led me to a gaming lounge! How the hell am I supposed to find her in the middle of the day when she games at night?”

“Seriously, damn, did not see that coming.” The elder Robin muttered, resting his chine on his hand as he considered this new information. “She could be coming into town from anywhere and if she’s really big on gaming, she might be willing to go the extra mile of traveling a longer distance just to play.”

“That just takes me back to fucking square one all over again! I’ll have to stake out the place on a night we’re supposed to game just to see who comes and goes.” Red Hood hung his head.

“You just might have to, that sucks. I was certain the IP address would’ve been a hit! Who knew she was using a gaming lounge.” Nightwing shook his head, feeling sympathetic for his younger brother, when some commotion down below caught their attention. They quickly jumped into action, fighting the criminals that were robbing the jewelry store below.

“Yeah, who would’ve thought they’d have such a place here. I’m surprised it hasn’t been hit by thieves yet. Though, it looks like they’re trying to spruce the place up a bit.” He grunted as he took a hit and swing at his assailant, knocking him flat onto his feet.

“Yeah, there’s been quite a bit of that going on with the new people in office. Can’t say it won’t get dirty.” Nightwing responded as he dodged a hit and landed a kick.“Does it ever stay clean?” Red Hood scoffed. “At least there’s a decent coffee shop where I can keep an eye on the place from. By the way, they’ve got some real interesting staff there. This one employee was really,” Red Hood was cut off by a rather big guy tackling him into the brick wall. The sudden blow jolted his memory a bit, and his mind quickly connected two very obvious dots. Holy shit, she was the barista at the counter!

[ameliawarnerr]

Criminal Haven

Read chapter 1 here

Chapter 2: Emotions? How About No

—The Leader—

Darkness' revelation brings fresh questions to the table. Some of which I could answer right now but I rather not think of them yet and draw conclusions– not without discussing them with Jake.

I glance at him, searching in his face if he's thinking the same. The expression he gives me as he looks down at me tells me that we are indeed thinking the same thing.

“Who is he?” Hannah breaks the silence, her tone has become that of a tired worker. She longer hides her wince as new information keeps surfacing. For her, it might be exhausting. For Jake and I, it is everything. The scheming, the truth and the lies, the masks and the uncoverings– we can never alter our minds out of this catacomb of games.

“He contributed to finding you.” He explains, vaguely. But I think he has not read much of my and darkness' messages. I think he realises that too as he sighs. He pulls someone's emptied chair– Richy’s, I think and places it facing both my and Kai’s chairs.

I add, “He was the most cooperative person, believe me.” I turn to Hannah. “If I were you, I’d thank him.” I curl my lips into a natural smile.

She stares at me, blankly, standing in the middle of the room. She looks as if she doesn't understand what I am implying. She's suffering from unimaginable things, I understand that. I feel that better than anyone else. Considering her condition, I won't ask much of her in whatever escape plan we might come up with. But that doesn't mean she’ll be excused from endeavouring as little as saying a thank you.

‘Say it.’ I mouth to her. My natural smile turned into a threatening one, unintentionally, but I can't deny that it has worked every time.

Her eyes dart to Jake who cannot see my face. I don't know if he encouraged her to do it or not but she whispers, “Thank you.” to the walls as I keep my glare pinned on her.

Go easy on her, I remind myself, mostly because Jake would prefer the same thing. I turn almost too quickly realising how much Jake is interfering in my smallest decisions.

Kai acknowledges her gratitude as he nods to the floor.

I make a mental note: he can be helpful but he's awkward accepting compliments or gratitude. That concludes why it was necessary for me to compliment me and for the same matter, Hannah to thank him. He already believes it my fault that he's here. I'm not afraid to accept that he is. But if he blames the part he played in Hannah's search, he might as well believe that he did it well.

Jake is looking at me strangely. I ignore directly looking at him exactly like I ignored Richy’s defeated figure dropped into a corner, his legs pulled to his chest and his head on his knees.

This isn't like solving a mystery through texting. This is real life and I cannot be vulnerable to one person while being persuasive to someone else on the different chat window.

I have to mention the mindset where my mind weighs more than my heart. That is the only way to get things done. We can be vulnerable when we are safe.

I inhale a deep breath, hardening my posture. “If we really want to get the hell out of here,” I speak loudly, ensuring my voice reaches Richy in the corner. I continue, “We’d need to stick together. Doesn't matter if you hate each other. Suck it up and bear it.”

I’m on my feet when I take a turn towards the door. Richy’s head turned in my direction. I realise, it's not only him. Everyone's looking at me.

“I don't really expect anything from you. Don't want to help? Don't. Just don't get in my way.” I announce, loud and clear. Though expecting the opposite of what words suggest. “Questions?”

Dead silence.

“Need a ten to think?” I provoke.

Kai is the first (and probably the only one who would) raise a question. He begins by quoting me, “Don't want to help? Don't.” I remain composed as he continues, “More like don't want to follow? Then, don't. But you know, whoever leads the way out of here, others will follow him or her.” I break into a smile, realising what he's bringing to others' attention. “You're just initiating to make sure that we follow you.”

I stride towards him as I quote him, “Initiating.” I stop by the chair I was sitting on and place my head on it. “That’s right. I am initiating. And if anyone else had the balls to do the same, they would have. But no one did. I guess that justifies why you should follow me.”

“Well, you couldn't have initiated it if he didn't uncuff you.” He gestures to Jake who is about to interfere. But that looks weak on my part. I appreciate it but I don't need it.

“That's a petty argument.” I cut in before Jake could. I shake my head at Jake as I pace towards Kai.

“Reasonable enough.” He refutes.

Stopping behind his chair, I break off a shim from the chair and use it to unlock his handcuffs. I intentionally pulled the shim from the part of the chair which was reachable in handcuffs.

Jake is by my side in a matter of seconds, probably because he doesn't trust Kai yet. But I do, to a certain extent which tells me he would not physically hurt me. He's just pissed.

“Now,” I talk loudly again. “Anyone up for breaking down that door?” I point at it with one finger.

—The Hacker—

From the moment she called reading Dan and Jessica's conversation illegally an exciting event, I knew she was trouble. And she only keeps proving it again and again. Sometimes, I admire it. Sometimes, it throws me to the edge.

Like right now. I understand what she was aiming for. There's no way out if we operate like five individuals without a common link who we all trust at some level. But she didn't hesitate once before uncuffing this guy none of us knows enough to trust.

Hannah, MC and I stand back as Richy and Pierce hammer their shoulders against the door. They continue thrice without pause but the door doesn't budge. They take a moment.

Kai glances back at me. “Why isn't he helping us again?”

This is why I prefer to work alone (and of course, this preference doesn't apply to MC). I don't like being questioned. “Is the door broad enough for the three of us?” I reason, very calmly.

They continue at it, knowing they are the two least trusted people in our group and raising nonsensical questions wouldn't change that. After six minutes, the door broke.

Neither of the guys step outside. Instead, they step aside, catching their breaths and stealing glances outside the door. MC is the first one to shift to the door. I grab her hand at the threshold. She glances at me as I step outside the door before her. “After me,” I tell her. She complies.

I glance in both directions. The corridor stretches so long in both directions– it seems endless. They are almost identical except there seems to be a little light coming from the right. Little by little, everyone's out in the corridor.

“Which way is it? We should go to the right. There's light coming from there so it isn't a dead end.” Hannah comments, her voice growing anxious.

“Should we break into two groups or something?” Kai suggests as no one addresses Hannah’s opinion because she's making a rookie mistake– being hasty and going with the obvious choice.

I think of Kai’s suggestion but I can't come up with a possible reasonable arrangement of two groups without separating me and MC.

“No.” I answer.

“So we choose one? On what basis?”

“We’ll come up with the basis if you stop asking questions.”

He glares at me, pissed. Then, he glances at MC and looks away. Everytime I say something to him, he looks at her as if reconsidering arguing with me for her sake. My eyes fly to her as well, wondering if she noticed it. But she's distracted and hasn't said anything after stepping out of the door.

She's shifted towards the left corridor. While everyone looks around, she looks down at the floor. I walk to her, she crouches down and picks something up. I bend to see a note in her hand at the same time she springs up. Her head collides with my chin.

She looks up, annoyed as I hide my smile. “What are you, glancing down at me? My guardian angel?” She takes a tiny step back.

“I’d prefer being called a partner.” I retort. “Although, I do feel bad for your guardian angel.”

She shoves a hand at my chest, walking past me but stops. I follow her gaze– everyone looks at us questionably, clearly not having as much fun as us. She clears her throat, the first time getting awkward.

“What does the note say?” Kai asks.

“What does the note say,” she echoes mockingly or …playfully?

I peer at the note as she read, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood/ And sorry I could not travel both.”

“Robert Frost.” I say, immediately.

She nods a couple times. “The road not taken.”

“What’s that?” Hannah asks. I remember our conversations via emails and literature wasn't one of the topics ever. Come to think of it, we had nothing in common.

“A poem.” MC and I say I'm unison.

Kai jumps in. “Didn’t he take the less travelled path?”

Both of us nod. Richy adds something for the first time. “Well, how did he decide which one was the least travelled?” He looks at no one in particular.

“The less travelled one was more grassy.” MC answers.

“So in our case, the less travelled one would be the left one, right? Because it's dark and could be a dead end or something.” Kai remarks.

“So can be the right one.” Hannah weighs in.

“At least it has the probability of having a window.”

I contemplate the poem, analysing from word to word. I remember each word clearly. “No,” I cut in. “We are taking the words at face value. The message of the poem wasn't to travel a less taken route. It was to make a decision carefully.”

MC looks at me, creasing her brows. “Then, we are at square one again.”

“No, we are not. Half of us thought about taking the less travelled path which means that is exactly what he wanted us to think.” I point out.

“Which means,” MC points at the way from where a tiny ray of light penetrates. “That's where we need to go.”

“Exactly.”

We start following the light. I can sense the others are not entirely sure of this but they will begin trusting us as we’ll give them hope by getting nearer to the way out.

A small smile emerges on MC's lips as we walk behind others. “You a literature guy?” She gives me a side look.

“You have no idea.” I tell her and then, I add, “We need to talk.”

She nods. “We do.” She whispers. “The only way that a lunatic could know about Kai is by having access to my messages. You had access to my messages. You're a hacker.” I smile, knowing we were thinking the same thing again.

“We are up against a hacker.”

“One who's pissed off. Can you think of anyone?”

I inhale. “I could think of a thousand. I've screwed many guys in the same field as me but none was as strong as to have all of us here.”

She considers it silently.

“We have another thing to discuss.”

She thinks for a moment as she arrives at no answer, she looks at me, “What thing?”

“Unlocking his handcuffs when you know a hundred ways it could turn out as a bad idea.” I don't beat around the bush.

“I needed to show him that I trust him to have him do the same. And I don't like being looked down upon.”

“I know you won't stop doing risky things just because I tell you not to. And I won't tell you that. Just promise to give me a heads up before you do something like that again. Deal?” I say, softly.

“Deal. But you have to promise not to talk me out of my stunts.”

“Deal.”

She offers her fist and I bump mine against it lightly.

______________________________________

*Not edited*

______________________________________

I wanna thank @lyon-amore and @itsnotzka for helping me figure Darkness' character. The reason this chapter took me as long as it did is because i was having trouble with Darkness' character because I forgot most of him.

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

:)

[rosekillerismylife]

"Straight people are so exhausting"

Leah in "Felix Ever After" by Kacen Callender

"It's like we're all brainwashed from the time we're babies to think to think that we have to be straight."

Austin in "Felix Ever After" by Kacen Callender

Those quotes kind of made me think. I mean, yes, it is sometimes exhausting to be around straight people, especially if they behave like assholes towards members of the LGBTQIA+ community and you don't even know if you belong to that community or if you are straight. It really makes you wonder if one day, you'll become an asshole like them or the victim of their assaults. The most exhausting thing is (which is also talked about in the book) that some straight people believe that being queer is something that can be cured or contagious like it's an illness. I don't get it. People don't become magically straight if they watch a straight couple kiss, so why should this be the case for watching a queer couple kiss? Your sexuality is not something you can cure or something you can control. It just subconsciously happens. The problem is the heteronormativity that controls the world. Everyone just assumes that they are straight because it is "normal". Unless you don't have a crush on a celebrity of the opposite gender or you really think about who you want to be, you assume that you are straight, right? That's the part that makes it exhausting. Straight people never really explore the possibility that they could be something else, something completely different and therefore don't even think about being queer.

I personally believe that no one is really completely straight. There are so many ways to being queer and so many labels that many straight people might identify themselves with some of those labels. I'm not saying that everyone should be in the LGBTQIA+ community or identify partly as being queer. I'm just saying that there's a possibility that there are many layers to being straight as well as to being queer. In theory, everyone should be pansexual. Or many people say so, even without knowing what being pansexual even means. The moral in our society is to "be attracted to the personality rather than the body". The saying "never judge a book by its cover" basically means that a person shouldn't like another person based on their looks. So, in general and really oversimplified, pansexual and therefore queer. You see where I'm going with this? There are more sexualities than just straight and just queer. Why not blend one with the other? Why not mix things up? Who cares? No one is just one of those two things even if some people might not acknowledge it.

I truly believe that the continuous fight between straight people and the LGBTQIA+ community needs to come to an end. To be honest, I don't identify as anything and kind of devoted myself to being a heterophobe just because I thought that it is unfair to hate on queer people without getting any hate back. I don't know. Fight fire with fire, I guess. The concept is really weird and doesn't make any sense. Especially because there is some hate within the LGBTQIA+ community towards specific sexualities. I don't really know why and I don't really get it. In a community, you should support each other and be there for each other. Not hate other people in the community. That's really not how it works.

All I'm trying to say with this post/statement: Don't hate on others. Or, well, you can hate but don't seriously hate. You know? For example, in the book "Felix Ever After", the main character was harassed by an anonymous person for being trans. That kind of hate is unacceptable and overall unjustified. If you are mean to a family member or a friend or you just can't stand a person because you don't like their personality or whatever, yes, it is probably justified to hate. Mostly because you almost never really mean it. You can say "Oh, I hate that teacher." or "I freaking hate this kind of music, it drives me nuts.". It doesn't mean anything. As long as you don't hate on anybody's identity. Then we have a serious problem. And the Internet kind of supports hate.

Like Marc-Uwe Kling (a German author) said: The great thing about the Internet is that finally everyone can give the whole world their opinion. The terrible thing is, everyone does.

Due to the Internet and being connected to the whole world, everyone can express their opinion and negativity. Yes, liberty of expressing yourself but some opinions really don't need to be voiced. Sometimes, it is better to shut up.

(Anyhow, thanks for reading and putting up with my rambling. I hope this made sense. Otherwise, just skip and forget about it.)

[floralcavern]

More incorrect quotes with these OCs

Patrick: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Richie: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Violet: *running towards Dusty with open arms* Dusty: *moves out of the way* Violet: Hey, why'd you move?! Dusty: I thought you were going to attack me. Violet: I was going to hug you! Dusty: Why would you hug me? Violet: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Dusty: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. Foley: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Dusty: You have to teach Violet how to drive. Foley: ...put the band-aid back on.

Violet: So the other day I sent Keith out to get us some gas. Violet: And instead of getting gas, he got us novelty cookie cutters. Violet: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. Violet: … Violet: I love him so much.

Richie: Why can’t we all just get along? Foster with a threatening smile: Because most of us are murderers, Richie.

Violet, to Richie: ...And I need you and Patrick to help, and by "help" I mean "do everything."

Octavia walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Foster, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Foster, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Younger Dusty: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Dusty: Bro- Foley: No, no, hold up, rewind. Foley: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Keith: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Violet or Bethany periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Keith: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Clover: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason. Clover: Me too!

Octavia: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY! Foster: Then where are Norwegian people from!? Octavia: NORWAY!!

*Violet is fighting a monster* Dusty: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it! Violet: The power to believe in myself!? Dusty: No, a knife! Stab it!

Bethany: I’m telling you, my crew is plenty capable. Ronald, rushing in: Bethany! Keith tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Foley when meeting Dusty's family: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

Foley: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Violet: It was me... Foley: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Richie: I’m so tired. Patrick: Did you get to bed late? Richie: No. Patrick: Did you do something strenuous? Richie: No. Patrick: Then why are you tired? Richie: I’m alive. Patrick: Sounds exhausting.

Foley: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Violet: What? No, I— Dusty: *enters room* Foley: *jaw clenches*