#to have to go thru and to endure
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Learned about the Egyptian lore about how men (as well as women) were granted period leaves bc since the women would need rest the men would have to do the work women usually do (around the house or in general even)... It was called smth like "on leave - woman bleeding"
And the reason I got reminded of this is bc I've been insanely sick since the last two weeks and just when I started feeling the teeniest bit better (yesterday) I got my period (not much to bleed since I ate barely nothing but I've been feeling faint the moment I sit/stand up) and my mother was fasting the whole day so now she has an insane headache and my father - well aware of both our conditions - has the audacity to tell me to do stuff (help him in the kitchen I'll be honest he's not telling me to grind a mill no but to make dough and then rotis which if anyone knows is fucking tiring esp for me since I fucking hate doing it). I'm so angry that I just went with it. And my mother had to legit tell me to stop for that man to realise I've been deadly sick.
Men do not deserve the position of authority. They simply don't.
#period#fathers#father#mother#family#rotis#periods#Egypt#ancient egypt#egyptian history#and men nowadays#ik ancient egypt was hella problematic too yes hard asf labour and slave trade and yes im aware#but like#women automatical acknowledgement#insane that we're clinging on crumbs#the way periods are taken as a joke now even when its proven just how insane it is#to have to go thru and to endure#and were expected to just be normal all the time with or without it#menstrual cycle is a fucking nightmare on the body hope ppl learn about this in excruciating detail soon#like im so flabbergasted#men sinply show their worth the moment they open their fucing mouths#dont even get me started on my good for nothing brother hes the most despicable man to ever be born#i know it already
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why is life nothing but misery and pain for some people?
#and i know many many ppl have it sm worse than me#which makes me wonder why even more#why am i like this? why cant i enjoy my life?#i do feel awful bc like gosh there is so much suffering in the world#and i am in relation to most of it safe#why am i like this still? why am i constantly anxious and stressed and in pain?#i dont understand. and it makes me so mad#it could've been so many different things more wrong and bad in my life#that wouldve really been a reason and a cause#but now im like... i should be able to just live life andenjoy it so why fucking cant i?????#itmakes me so frustrated.#even if yes i do very much believe every person's pain is valid for them no matter what#i sometimes hear what other ppl has been thru and im like wow my stuff pales in comparison why cant i even function????#like i know it isnt a competition but thats not what i mean.. i cant explain what i mean#maybe that i know that if *i* was going thru that i wouldve not been able to mentally endure it bc my mind is fragile#and i am simply lucky for not going thru those things... yet i can still not deal with life.. so idk... *screams*
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i love having personal leave + a job that is wont belittle you for taking time off bc like. well im not taking a sick day rn. but its sooooo nice to go in every day thinking "ok i can literally just leave at any point and it'll be fine"
#can i be real. sometimes thats the only thing getting me out of bed lol#and like getting me thru the day. the thought that i CAN go home if i want to. but i wont. but i could#me doing that every hour until the day is done 😍 NFJSMFMDKFK#AND THIS IS ME WHEN I ACTUALLY LIKE MY JOB LOL#anyway i would be fine i just literally want to be terminally online today. its so unfair#my bf stayed home from his job today and i was sooooo fucking jealous. sigh#sigh. but its fine. i have tomorrow off and im making burgers for dinner tonight. i will ENDURE. for ASSAN
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ENIES LOBBY TIME!!!
Sanji's face here.... he Knows he is going to fuck him up
THAT IS SANJI??? 😨
Holding them in my hands again....
Sanji struck a nerve there akdjaoajkq
Increible trio btw.... look at the evidence
............ me next please 🙏🏻
That is love right there I can see it
What if we all killed ourselves (except usopp is telling her the opposite ajahkdhsakjd)
I need sanji to go insane like this more often.... after the timeskip it doesn't happen as much and I love to see him suffering
This is so funny.... there is no denying to her face card
"It's not like she actually wants to die" well yes she does, but no because you know she doesn't really. It is in a quantum state right now
Luffy is such a menace akdhaksjkaak
TELL EM!!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!
Look at franky worrying about robin.... do not fret luffy is coming and he will NOT lose!!!!!
This is zoro remarking how usopps fear of being left behind makes no sense.... this is so good.....
This is so endearing but it also breaks my heart....
Who is that sultry binch... (I don't recall this attack AT ALL and i'm sure we never see it again)
They botched his bbl.... 😔😔😔
Luffy's face here... he was convinced she wanted to go with them but was compelled to do otherwise but no.... he thought wrong and he can't fight to her.... I've just been staring at this page for minutes like damn.
Nevermind.... this is something your mother would say "you want to die??? Just wash the dishes and you can do whatever you want later"
"If you wanna die, or whatever...." this is so good like he knows what he is doing.... he Knows.... look at her face. After knowing how luffy and ace were as kids this just makes more sense (oda didn't think about this i'm sure but damn does it fit) also the slight manipulation.... look at all of us we're already here and look how we all miss you already... you know that post about luffy being selfish but his selfishness is jusg kindness to others... yesh
Thinking about robin's cinderella lifestyle.... why did her mother leave her with that aunt and why didn't some archeologist take her in?? Because she doesn't complain about anything just like she doesn't respond when that mother accused her of hitting her child without reason... that's so fucked
Alright this is funny (and also true)... I'm sorry fellow women....
*Justin Bieber voice* I like your laugh... dereishi shishishi
SHE'S GONNA ASK HER MOM TO TAKE HER TO THE SEA WITH HER??? LIKE SHE DOES AFTER WITH LUFFY??? MY GOD!!! I just bursted into tears like I got punched in the nose I can't keep going ajdhakajk
I lied i can keep going... but head in my hands over this....
Find out how my emotional stability survives this arc in ennies lobby part 2. coming soon
#franky calling sanji brother eyebrows is too good akdbsksnsk also ily franky#captain t bone.... he got killed tecently.... i forgot who he was until now but he actually cared thats so fucked up.... cross guild come o#sanji going against cp9 by himself.... i shant say it... SLAY!!!! also the cook being mad about being pretty cause he has no individuality.#lucci talking about a little girl being born wrong and needing to die for it TO SANJI!!! OOF!!!#the frog stopped rocketman bc he thought they kidnapped kokoro just like they took tom 😭😭😭 this fucking frog always gets me#chapter 377 and franky is in the headline with the strawhats ❤️❤️ they recruit TWO thirty year olds in enies lobby ajdhaksjks#franky biting spandex head.... yeah... and he should do it more why did he stop biting heads... he got domesticated#luffy is such a menace here like damn.... he is charging thru EVERYTHING!! GET THEM BOY!!!!#also franky is so important in giving robin hope here... like she sees him fighting back no matter what and i KNOW that inspires her...#i am going to say it hina fullbody and jango have a challengers thing going on but without hina being involved physically iykwim#when in action panels the ink just becomes lines... OOF!!! CHEFS KISS!!! MWAH MWAH#completely forgot gear 2 used the shave technique.... thats so cool..... also iron body must be haki then... and finger pistol#i dont think i can do this... after this ends we got thriller bark and then marineford starts building up...#i can endure water 7 sad moments bc everything ends up well in the end but what am i gonna do with marineford.... my god#also dr clover and dr hyruluk and crocus all have smilar plant based hair designs is that bc they are doctors or just coincidence#also robins father is dead and for sure another archeologist or similar.... thats inch resting....#which also like damn olvia and dragon had to make the same choices with their children i am sure. thats so fucked. dragon backstory when#clover knew the name of the fallen kingdom (robonosuke lore??) and also olvia knew some important information the gov didnt know... ✍️✍️✍️#SAKAZUKI SHOT THE EVACUATION SHIP???? HELLO??? I DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIM!! (also olvia knew where saul was)#kuzan is sick in the head... he can't bring himsef to kill child robin but he will kill her as an adult... also his beef with akainu is OLD#like no wonder she was terrified when she saw him again. he said live like a recluse or i will end you and she fucking did. THE bogeyman#there are comments saying they hate akainu and he has just appeared 😭😭 JUST FUCKING WAIT#you guys think when luffy realised robin's enemy was the world gov he also realised it was sabo's enemy too.... bc as a child he didn't kno#also pluton was made as a countermeasure for the weapon robin could reactivate... could that be the one that was used in lulusia??#bc i thought that weapon was pluton but if pluton is just blueprints.... this makes more sense... which could also mean the ancient weapons#are a countermeasure for weapons the government already has. and thats why they're hunting them down. to have no opposition#so there must be two sides of the ancient weapons bc they call pluton that but also the unnamed one that robin could activate#so is pluton a countermeasure to uranus (the one used in lulusia i think) but neptune? trios dont make sene but a trio and their opposite d#reading one piece#enies lobby
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared
#purrs#delete later#ask to tag#(putting slashes thru things so that they don’t show up in search btw)#i have no right to be scared bc im not there. but im so scared for the people of ga/za. and i am so scared that… idk. it’s completely my#fault bc i go looking for these kinds of things on purpose to hurt myself. but i doomscrolled last night about ww/3 and the possibility of#nu/clear war being fueled by is/rael’s ‘war’ on pale/stine and not only am i sick with fear about the people living directly in that region#but i am so fucking scared of the possibility of nu/clear war. or like. any war breaking out in the us. which i know is a ridiculous self#centered thought to have but my anxiety is out of fucking control rn and it has been getting worse throughout the week. i just don’t know#how to wrap my head around the violence of this week. and so few je/wish ppl i know irl are antizi/onist and ppl just expect me to be#supportive of is/rael jsut bc im je/wish and it makes me fucking FURIOUS not only because i resent these horrors being committed to innocent#people in the name of my own people but it is so extremely dangerous to conflate j/udaism with zi/onism. the consequences diasporic je/ws#are goi ng to face are of course nowhere near as central or all-consumingly violent as the people in gaz/a and i feel personally safe enough#as someone who (and i know this is kind of a terrible thing to say) passes very easily as a go/y (esp w a mask on) and has a g/oy last name#but i am so fucking terrified of the antise/mitism getting worse here and have been exposing myself to evidence of it even though it is#extremely destructive to my mental health. but also i deeply resent the rhetoric around ‘reach out to your j/ewish friends they’re suffering#rn’ because…. we are not a monolith nor are we the direct victims in this situation and it just feels so uncomfortable and centering to make#it an issue of silence etc etc when… there are innocent ppl in g/aza who are experiencing terror no human being should ever have to endure#and most of them are children and they are the people who will ‘pay’ most directly and immediately and severely for what happened a week ago#i just feel so fucking on edge from this entire situation and unable to do anything to help when the destruction is imminent and this#nightmare of a country is at the core of so much suffering in this world and it will take centuries to undo it all and in the meantime so#many innocent people are going to die and maybe the entire world will be destroyed by nu/clear war which we are basically begging for at#this point. it’s so hard to function in my personal life when i am keenly aware of what could be happening at any moment#i don’t know how to end this post. im just fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do
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reaching absolute rock bottom (told my dad and most of my friends i was considering leaving my first job in 1-2 months)
#apparently if you force your kid to go to college for & build a career in a field they absolutely fucking hate it wont end well for anyone!#who knew.#anyway my 'i just have to finish this sem' coping mechanism isnt applicable for work anymore#i had enough endurance to force myself thru college but i am realizing i truly cannot keep wasting my one and only life like this#im spending 10.5 hours a day on my feet and this place is incredibly understaffed i have little to NO training so i keep messing up#and its bad for everyone involved so i'm trying to leave before it gets Real Bad#skl.txt
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playing tomb raider reboot again and going 'omg they held hands while trying to escape the palace🥺'
#penguin honks#that brief moment when lara and sam are finally reunited in the palace#that crushing hug#the utter relief in both their voices when they find each other...the near sobs...#yes i know. i know the gay sunrays that shine on them at the end of the game.#but it's also the little things. n they're all peppered throughout the game#sam's footage on the camcorder + the grad pic on the Endurance's mirror in their private bunks + lara literally going thru#physical n psychological horrors to get sam back no matter what. not matter the cost#it's just so...blatantly obvious. and im not normal abouy them#having emotions about this game and about them yet again nobody talk to me
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shout out to my fourth and fifth grade teachers . i had genuinely lifechanging experiences with both of them
#text#i told my fourth grade teacher this bc my sister was in her class and i was like. Hey can u deliver a letter for me#cuz she was the person who inspired me to start writing#waughghh. man.#and my fifth grade teacher was i think literally the only person to realize i was definitely going thru something way more stressful#than a fifth grader should have to endure on their own And he couldnt fix it especially bc he didnt know what was going on but he let#me choose my seat on the assigned seating chart even though no one else got to choose. And i needed that at the time it was sort of#like being revived from the brink of death in terms of lifechanging events at the time#anyway i dont know whyi amsharming this. been really into anecdotes recently i guess
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I actually had no idea you had so many followers, didn't mean to make it feel super vague or weird I just know this person IRL so it caught my eye. my apologies for it coming off weird.
this is the link to screenshots, and the blog titles are vistorille and bloodlikefire
https://www.tumblr.com/evilios/713336133904367616/okay-im-gonna-put-this-one-out-here-and-delete
AH OKAY, yeah no we're not mutuals, idk how i started following that person to be entirely transparent fshdgjkl I recognize the url (the first url, not the second) but not the typing style of this person's original posts. the only thing I can think of is maybe I followed them way back in my witchblr days because I see they've rbed some stuff around that, and it feels like a blog I would've followed when I was 17/18/19 and waistdeep in that sort of thing (never radfeminism to be clear, just ... occultism and paganism stuff).
however yeah it looks like they've popped off on radfem/terf type bullshit recently (i did a quick blog search and scroll and everything seems to be from within the last week or two RIP and theres a bunch of trans inclusive posts before that ???) and they state they're a "trans inclusionary radfem" which is ??????
wish I'd seen this behaviour but apparently I haven't been actively refreshing my dash while they've been active or I missed all those posts in the sea of all the other posts FDSJKL
unfollowed and blocked though, thank you for bringing this to my attention! i genuinely appreciate it since I can't keep up with everything! (and obviously if anyone else sees me rbing from ppl like this lmk, just PLEASE give me a url to go check out so i can actually investigate)
also idk if it needs to be said but please don't any of y'all seeing this go send this person hate or anything on either of their blogs, just block them if you need to lmao. don't feed the trolls etc etc
EDIT: okay yeah thats a blog i followed back in 2018ish sdgjkl they changed their url but its a witchblr i followed back in the day RIP we hate to see old followings turn out to be nasty ppl :[
#part of me wants to go thru all my following but hfsdjkl thats like... way too much work unfortunately#i do not have the energy or mental endurance for that fsdkjl maybe one day tho#i do unfollow and block liberally now whenever i see smth shitty bc i have so many ppl im following and i dont want to touch anything nasty#must've just slipped thru the cracks so I appreciate u bringing it to my attention!#asked and answered#juno answers#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#(if i have anon turned off for a little while its only to avoid r-df-ms finding this post and sending me angry shit HFDSJKL)#(i'll probably leave it on tho lmao i don't rly care enough about what they have sent me in the past to turn it off)
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theres a grief that comes with realizing past severe mental illness that held u back from living ur life n learning things on the "age appropriate" timeline.
in my late 20s n im just now realizing like, what i actually wanna do. like this is this the first time in my life i have a "life" plan that extends past "get thru this day".
#oh it made u stronger#its really only a 4-5 year plan#but hey ive never even had a 1 year plan so i think this counts for smth#the trauma i endured as a childhood n the near constant setbacks have had to survive completely alone have done a number on personal growth#and milestones for myself#just the idea of having a 4 year plan scares the shit out of me#but the difference between now n 10 years ago is that i know theres nothing that i cant overcome vs there was everything to fear#i hate the logic but it did n i shouldn't be angry at the fact that i now know i can handle any bullshit obstacle#thrown my way#but i will be abgry on my child selfs behalf bc that was shit no person should ever have to go thru#these were long tags for smth that was initially meant as a reply but the og post got deleted lol
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#rlly not looking forward to tmrw ughhh#it's almost 3am.. and i need to get up at 8am...#then i have to call the surgery clinic at 9. hopefullt i get thru immediately nd can have my obligatory pre surgery phone call#then i have to hurry and WALK to school (around 1hr) bc i dont have a buss pass#nd they have started using controllants who are dressed in civil clothes so we cant recognize them. i dont need to be fined again.#it's like $150. half my monthly moneyyyy. so yeah i cant risk taking the buss. im gnna walk...#i will be late for class bc class starts at 10. but i have to call before bc class ends at 12.30. and their call times end at 12 lmao#so thats gonna be fun!!!!#then i have to sit in class and try to concentrate bc if i dont send in assignments in each class they're gonna suspend me :((#but ig then i can go home and crash#i just have to force myself to do it and endure it even if it will suuuuuuck#ugh i wish i could at least get sleep before that.. but i just cant fall asleep. nd the hours pass me by whoops#well.. life sucks a lot sometimes thats just how it is i gotta power thru it#why cant nothing ever be easy sigh
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I have never had such a conundrum in choosing present tense vs past tense but this story is killing me
#rose and rambles#prosie's writing adventures#when there's a wip there's a way#DIDN'T THINK YOU'D SEE THAT TAG AGAIN DID YA?!?! >:Dc#just kidding im hardcore struggling with this story but I keep chipping away at it#and i just read a book that is like.... same basic premise and now im liKE I MUST WRITE MY OWN BLORBOS GOING THRU IT#okay but real talk i did call a plot twist because it's the same as the one i was planning so now im having a mini crisis#but whatever#anyway im struggling with how to approach tenses. Because on one hand..... i think i want to have more present tense in this story#but when trying to do the whole thing in present tense it just feels off.#im thinking i could do something like in East by Edith Pattou#where the tenses change based on who's narrating BUT i don't have multiple povs BUT i do have memories....#and im thinking.... maybe..... the memories can be present tense#which could be a cool spin because the memories in this story hold weight#their endurance is what drives the plot and i think having memories in present tense and everything else in the past could be intriguing#alright thank you to everyone who just became my rubber duckie I salute you o7#do not ask how many times i have edited the tenses for the multiple beginnings of this story#(´。_。`)
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they should invent a universe that lets me catch a fucking break 😍😍😍
#i need 2 go somewhere and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream an-#im so annoyed that what im so upset abt and going thru rn isnt even new i have nothing new to whine abt im just having a terrible fucking#time it is Almost comical to me at this point 😭😭😭#like yeah im enduring and im fucking sick of it when will it end. i need it to end LOL#almost tempted to say i'll end it myself if i have to is that too concerning to say. lol.#txt
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wanted to watch smth while I polish my boots but I forgot to put thr dryer on earlier so its on rn and the sound is making my teeth hurt 😭
#i cant sit in thr same room as it rn.... im gonna go shower n then ill do my boots in a bit#i could just watch tv in my room but i wanna watch on the bigger screen.. the things i have to endure 😔#we have one room thats a joint living room/kitchen space n has the tv in btw. for anyone confused by the logistics#.diaries#owie my head.. wheres my paracetamol when i need her#on the bright side my new shorts i picked up earlier r rly comfy n should be awesome for climbing im gonna take em to the gym monday#im always wary abt buying outdoor gear online esp clothes bc u can never tell what the texture will be like and so many things ick me out#but theyre the right balance of structured n stretchy. i always have the best luck w stuff thats sold as being for in/out of water#like amphibious swim trunks i guess...#actually kind of funny to think abt how both my fave pairs of climbing shorts are designed to function as swim trunks also#im prepared for any eventuality#i ordered 2 other pairs too but they havent arrived yet but even if neither of them are for me its ok i can return them#theyre different brands so who knows...#itd be rly nice to have a couple pairs i can rotate thru tho so i dont have to re-wear sweaty stinky workout stuff in thr week#cuz i can only do laundry on weekends... and im gonna be going to the climbing gym twice a week hopefully n my own stuff outside of that#but yes. also got some sunglasses while i was out n i actually like them so yayyy (<- extremely fussy abt sunglasses)#finally. a summer where i wont be squinting at everything while im outside 😌
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rewatching the omega x tingground interview and making note of everyone's answer for "what's the best thing you have heard from FOR X?"
can you tell how absolutely stressed out i am thinking about the fanchant in chicago. one (1) entire uninterrupted minute sitting across from each and every member where i get to speak with them. this is too much pressure oh my god
#personal#LOSING MY MIND IM GOING INSANE I NEED TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY OHHHHHHH ITS SIMULTANEOUSLY TOO LONG AND NOT LONG ENOUGH#do i talk about what they mean to me. and my feelings. how they changed my life.#do i talk about them. ask them questions. compliment them endlessly.#do i bring up the horrible struggles they have had. do i ask how they made it thru. tell them i envy their perseverance.#do i thank them. selfishly praise them for enduring the worst of times so that i get to love them thru it all.#how do i condense my ever-growing and deeply layered and complex emotions for these boys into .. a single minute ..
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