#to eat eggs

[3-aem]

my toxic trait is picking up random hobbies on a whim like today i went shopping for a cardigan but found No cardigan i liked and so i naturally decided that i can just knit one even tho the only thing i have ever knit was a 8” by 3” rectangle in 5th grade that just looked so pathetic-

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[toyastales]

Breakfast Platter

[herpsandbirds]

Common Egg-eating Snake (Dasypeltis scabra), family Colubridae, South Africa

photograph by Cristian Schneider

[laurellala-comics]

What if the characters in Ace Attorney all texted each other. Because they're friends. <3

(My alt text descriptions were a little long so I've added the individual text exchanges below, btw if there's any way I can improve my alt text please let me know!)

[id: drawing one shows text history between Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright on Nick's phone, starting with older texts at the top

Maya: ramen? (Nick has given this a thumbs up)

now we see texts from today at 11:37

Maya: Burgers?

Nick: sorry, not today, big case :(

Maya: Aww Nick

Maya: I'll pick it up and bring it over!

Maya: ... can i use your credit card (she punctuates the sentence with a big smiling face emoji) /end id]

[id: drawing two shows text history between Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth on Miles's phone, starting with older texts at the top

Edgeworth: This was a riveting article, I thought it might interest you.

now we see texts from today

Nick sends a screenshot of a twitter post that reads: Lawyers help people get through the worst day of their life. They're good at it because they have experience getting through their own worst day, which just so happens to be every waking day of their existence

Miles: Ha.

Nick: Just one "ha"?

Miles: Not your best work.

Nick sends a frowny face :( /end id]

[id: drawing three shows text history between Miles Edgeworth and Maya Fey on Maya's phone. The text bubbles from Maya here are green as a result of her, an iPhone user texting Miles, a google pixel user. Maya has also sprinkled several emojis into Miles's contact name, the libra scales, the angry face emoji, the shouting emoji, and the clashing swords emoji. They're mid conversation and Miles has sent a text bubble so big we can't read the whole thing.

Miles: -completely unnecessary. Doing a Steel Samurai reboot so soon after the series ended is a foolish decision, everyone will be directly comparing the two from the moment the first episode drops. I don't believe they even have a fresh direction for the show, the only difference will be the cgi. God forbid we rock the boat and follow a new character! It's abundantly clear to me that the studio executives are cowards.

Maya: Oh my gosh, and did you see the new outfits? Maya includes a sobbing emoji

Miles: Oh, don't get me started.

we see three dots at the bottom of the screen indicating that Miles is still typing. /end id]

[azuneekun]

MY EGG ???????????????????????????

[pangur-and-grim]

Rusty Nail had an unfortunate encounter

[b0nelessdoodles]

tfw you're three deep in anchordeep and you get the notif that you're baby has been neglected so you turn into a speedrunner to get home

[egophiliac]

SHE'S DONE! after a thousand years, she's finally done! ...or at least I'm done with her! (tumblr please don't absolutely destroy my gifs, I am begging you)

(this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

now you know the real reason I haven't been obsessively drawing Meleanor, which is that I was in fact obsessively drawing Meleanor but in secret. plus a little background just for fun!

I am. not super happy with her rig; parts of her proved way more difficult than I expected and I very quickly hit the point of "okay, this is a silly fan project and not something that I'm being paid for or has to be really functional, time to MANUALLY KEY ALL THE VERTICES FOREVER". I think the end result came out pretty okay though! just...don't look too close. :')

I recorded some of the drawing part, so I might put that up later! in the meantime I am going to make her do stupid poses for my own enjoyment!

[nonranghaes]

it's silly, but...

"sorry, we aren't eating spicy food right now." soonyoung says it over the phone to mingyu who, from what you heard because the call is on speaker, is trying to pawn off leftovers to soonyoung. not you, because your wisdom teeth just came out, and it'll aggravate it now. you look up from your phone, your heart warm at the notion.

we. we aren't doing this. we are in this together. you think you might cry. soonyoung's already explaining it to him: you can't have it, so he won't eat it, either: not directly in front of you while you're missing it this much already. you think this means he might indulge himself if he goes out without you, but you don't mind that. hell, you really hope he does if that's what he wants.

mingyu laughs after a moment, after soonyoung has apologized a few too many times. "no, it's fine," he says. "i'll ask vernon. are they craving anything that i can make?"

soonyoung looks at you when he thinks you're not looking or listening. "um... i think anything soft is good. they're miserable right now. i think i'll have to let anything hot cool down first, but... i think they'd appreciate it."

mingyu lets out a hum of affirmation. "i'll pull something together and drop by."

you fight back a smile as you listen to soonyoung thank him more than a few times before saying he'll talk to him again later. he comes over, bottle of pills in hand, and sets them down on the coffee table so that he can move your legs and sit underneath them. he drops them back into your lap, still holding on.

"is it bothering you?" he gestures toward his jaw. "i can get you something to eat so you can take your medicine..."

"i love you."

he blinks a few times. "... huh?"

"you don't have to cut out the stuff you enjoy for me." you reach out, pinching his cheek a little. "i don't mind. i'm an adult."

he pouts a little. "i'm not cutting them out completely," he says, one hand squeezing your ankle a little. "just when i'm with you. it'd be mean to sit in front of you and eat anything i know you want." he's sheepish now, eyes drifting away from you. "i like sharing with you. so... whenever we eat together," he meets your gaze again, "i'll eat only things i know you hate. okay?"

despite the tiny way your jaw aches now, you lean in, pressing a quick peck against the corner of his lips. it's clumsy, but still just as sweet, and it sends him into giggles nonetheless as he leans in to pepper your face with kisses as gently as he can.

"we're in this together," he says when he pulls back. he extends his pinky, beaming at you more when it makes you smile. "okay? we're a team."

you just giggle through the pain and lock your pinky around his own, taking the chance to steal one more kiss from him.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

OH YEAH if i made you laugh or just inserted regrettable thoughts into your head against your will this year, now's a real nice time to drop a coin or two! (bc devastatingly i am also trapped in this mundane capitalist hellscape w/ the rest of u suckers)

[shirecorn]

Avoidance Avoidance

IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG/I FORGET HOW/THEY WILL BE ANGRY/I CAUSED THIS MYSELF/IT'S GOING TO HURT/AND I WILL KNOW/IT IS MY OWN FAULT/IT'S GOING TO HURT/IT'S GOING TO HURT/IT'S GOING TO HURT

I CAN'T FACE IT

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

[toyastales]

Honey Sriracha Chicken

[herpsandbirds]

Common Egg-eater (Dasypeltis scabra), family Colubbridae, found in Sub-Saharan Africa and parts of the Middle East

Top photo: Eat a tasty egg.

photographs by Mond76 & Johan Marais

[avelera]

Dungeon Meshi made me, a lifelong non-eater of breakfast, into someone who eats breakfast every day.

I’m not sure what category of film rec that counts as, but it definitely counts as one.