#to clarify incase i do make the post

[autistic-katara]

the urge to make a vent post abt smthn that happened a year-and-a-half ago abt someone i would probably forgive instantly if they texted me “hey”

[bull-shit-suji]

I mostly agree with your analysis but I have some thoughts about Sebastian’s perspective within the story (sorry for the absolute essay):

Sebastian isn’t a stagnant character — his behavior towards Ciel has changed drastically from their first meeting to present day. A lot of this change is out of necessity, similar to your claims in how he goes to extreme lengths to maintain Ciel’s health and wellbeing-ish because he wants Ciel to feel dependent on him. Because of this, I’ve always taken his actions when he’s around others, especially Ciel, with a grain of salt, given that it’s pretty much all an act. 

BUT his actions when he’s alone, or, at the very least not being perceived by Ciel, don’t always coincide with his malevolent nature. I had to dig through the manga to find this panel but it immediately came to mind:

^For reference this is chapter 144 on the very last page, after o!Ciel was arrested upon learning his brother had returned. Now, this slightly breaches my prior rules because Sebastian isn’t alone here, but I’d argue that Ciel is paying zero attention to him and Sebastian is aware that he isn’t being actively perceived. 

I can’t think of any other way to describe this expression than “concerned”, and I’d say this was likely intentional on Yana’s part given how subtle the look is and how in-your-face the panel is. Which is weird, right? Even if Sebastian was acting on an assumption that Ciel was looking at him, I can’t think of a single reason as to how appearing concerned would benefit Sebastian in such dire circumstances. Ergo, Sebastian is likely feeling some level of pity. And that’s insanely out of character! 

Sebastian is certifiably a narcissist, and we know he doesn’t experience empathy or compassion because he’s told us at least a million times. But this panel seems to nullify that claim, given feeling concern requires Sebastian to be able to empathize with Ciel. 

So! I agree that Ciel doesn’t view Sebastian as a trustworthy person in any regard, and I don’t think Sebastian will be morphing into a stand-up father figure anytime soon, nor will their relationship ever be anywhere near the realm of healthy, but I think claiming that the bases of Sebastian’s actions are solely manipulative and have not changed at all would be dismissing the development his character has had. Which, in my opinion, makes the story even more compelling than if Sebastian were just a big bad guy with big bad intentions. 

I also think this change in his character is where a lot of people insert that found-family aspect! Which, as you said, holds no ground in canon, but I think it’s due to a lack of a better term given Sebastian’s inhuman nature. We really don’t have a good way of understanding or describing what he feels since he doesn’t abide by our social rules, and that is a huge chunk of his character that gets swept under the rug when his relationship with Ciel is condensed into parental or otherwise. 

Anyways! I’ve talked for way too long, but I’d love to hear your thoughts!

𝕴 believe that Ciel sees Sebastian as neither ultimate safety nor a found family member.

Sebastian's attitude towards Ciel is rather wicked in the sense that while he does some actions that show his care for the wellbeing of his master, such as going an extra mile managing his health, the contract also rests on a number of pillars Sebastian still refuses to change that show how ambivalent his motives are.

First, Sebastian knowingly took a form of an adult man: the very thing that traumatised Ciel to the point where he no longer trusts adults, including Sebastian (never fully, and for a good reason). He is an ageless demon that directly states that he is "nothing that can become anything". Surely an entity that can turn into a dozen animals in sheer seconds can take a form of a pet, an animal companion, a woman, a child or perhaps anything else that does not have a direct connection to Ciel's trauma. Sebastian, narratively, chooses to be what scares and intimidates Ciel — besides the form of an adult man giving him ultimate authority in both Ciel's household and overall life.

He also did so immediately after taking a martyr (Ciel's brother), manipulating his corpse to shame Ciel into a contract, and ultimately doing nothing to "protect" his master from the traumatizing scene affront of him.

Then, he proceeded to re-traumatise him further. That is, constantly allowed Ciel to be in situations where his trauma would, or should, resurface so that his bond with the demon becomes more and more dependent. Ciel gets kidnapped a lot and with how skillful Sebastian is and how purposefully long he takes to arrive at times, appearing only at the last moment, one would think he could prevent it easily; as a "caring father figure" would. He does not. Green Witch showed a culmination of Sebastian's appetite and agenda: he will kill Ciel if he shows weakness. Which, I believe, is exactly the reason Ciel does not show fear around Sebastian, alongside his inflated pride.

Sebastian has never been a "kind parental figure", at least canonically. He is also not a "place of safety" aimed to cure Ciel's trauma: he makes it worse for his own gain.

Kuroshitsuji is such a compelling story despite oftentimes messy writing that it's a shame it so often gets boiled down to either boring romance or found family dynamics. It's neither.

[simp4konig]

König mistakenly shoots you on the battlefield

König x Gender-neutral Reader

Word count: ~4500

*SLOW burn but when my writing finally has that spark this fic catches FIRE and FAST so be prepared!! 🔥🔥

*⚠️Angst Angst! ANGST!⚠️

*THABK YOU SO SO SO MUCH TO AZZY MY NO.1 FAN FOR THIS AMAZING IDEA!!!! 🥰🥰🥰I LOVE *YOU* VERY MUCH!! 🥹🫶🫶💞💞💞💞 💞💞💞💞💞THANK UVFOR ALWAUS LIKING MYNPOSTS AND BEING SO KIND TO ME YOU MAKE EBERY HOIR SPENT WRITING WORTH IT AS I AM ALWAYS EAGER FOR YOUR MESSAGES😭😭💓💓💓💓💓💓I AM *YOUR* NO.1 APPRECIATOR IN ALL RHE GALAXIES🌌🚀✨🌠QNDVWISH U ALL THE BEST ALWAYS!!!!!!🫂🫂💗💗 THIS ENTJRE POST IS DEDICATED TO YOU !!! 🥹(,,havinf said that, i hope u arent TOO taken aback bu tje level of angst here 💀💀REALLT went overboard and I completely apologize 💔)

TWs: König is in love with you. König's sanity slowly deteriorates as the fanfiction progresses. Mentions of attempted suicide, graphic depictions of gore, potentially triggering depictions of depression. König has suicidal thoughts after shooting you. König experiences intense trauma after shooting you and has survivor's guilt.

*Reader's callsign is "King". Implied age gap. One-sided pining from König... but the ending is purposefully kept ambigous (as you, the reader, can interpret the final interaction however you like)! Can be read as a standalone if you have never read any of my works before. <3

*To clarify to those that have already read my works before, this is *NOT* a direct continuation to 1.my fluffy 2.series! This is a separate imagine, but DOES take place in the same KönigxKing microchosm. Whether the following events take place in an alternate timeline or happen at some point in the future/past is for you to decide. Idk man i just write the fics I don't do the world buidling 🗿I write sotires without thingign about the greater picture u honestly think my one shots will tie to a greater plot?☹️No 💔

...

Right from the beginning, König had a gut feeling that this mission was going to go wrong.

It was a deep sense of foreboding in the pit of his stomach, making him feel queasy on the helicopter ride as the both of you with an additional three others were scheduled for contact in a few minutes' time.

You were just a recruit, and this mission was far too intense for someone with next to no experience in an active warzone for it to be their first. He knew the dangers of missions like this, knew how things could go horribly wrong in an instant.

It wasn't that he doubted your ability. Not at all. From the corner of the room he would silently supervise as you sparred another person, monitoring your movements incase your opponent had the upperhand and you needed guidance.

However, he had never needed to intervene, as he was impressed with your quick reactions and your controlled steps as you'd move on the balls of your feet, arms held up in front of your face. Ambition was in your eyes, your face scrunched up in concentration as you calculated your next move.

You'd defend yourself up until the moment you'd pounce and in a blink of an eye be on top of your opponent, your entire weight pressed on their theirs on the ground. Whether it was another woman, another man, or even a person with bigger bulk you were clearly disadvantaged by, you'd never give up, and took on any challenge with an impressionable passion of a young recruit.

Once they'd be the one to tap out, you'd immediately push yourself off them and offer them a hand, asking them "Are you alright?" in a concerned tone as you were pulling them up. "Sorry for getting aggressive there, sir/miss! I hope I didn't hurt you!"

To which they'd respond with boisterous laughter and a strong clap on your back, you doubled over as they were congratulating you for knocking them off their two feet and telling you to keep up the good work. König couldn't wipe the triumphant smile from his face, filled with pride at your personal victory.

Once you'd be the one to tap out, you'd part ways honourably, never disrespecting the person that came out on top. If anything, your loss only added fuel to the fire burning in your eyes, driven to work harder. He still admired you, and would be the one to pull you up as he dusted you off, telling you that you did a great job regardless.

"Thank you, sir!" You'd reply bashfully, face red from effort and embarassment. "Though, I'm sure I made a fool of myself with how I was flailing my arms just then..."

"Nein. Not at all," he'd say, eyes glinting with something that you couldn't quite recognize. "You did very well."

Target practice displayed your accurate aim, wool seeping out from the heads of dummies and the targets regularly replaced as the wood would cling in pieces, the center blasted into smithereens by repeated bullseyes from you.

Always lingering nearby to assist, you would gratefully accept König's help and allow him to demonstrate how to operate another gun with an appreciative smile on your face, your genuine eagerness to learn making König's chest tighten. You seemingly never knew the effect you had on him.

You were a naturally skilled soldier, he had observed, and he knew that you'd make an incredible addition to the team, he couldn't deny that.

Yet, he couldn't shake off this feeling as something more grave.

All personel debriefed and the plan disclosed a week prior, the superior went over the plan once more back at base. A large blueprint spilling over the table with weak spots and areas to beware were annotated, his forefinger pointing at different areas of interest. Sketches, photographs, and jottings were displayed from a projector for all to see as you listened closely.

König's jaws were grinding against each other in agitation, having doubts about you being deployed on this mission.

Despite this operation being portayed as an in and out extraction, König knew better. He knew what the stakes were. Intuition urged him to warn you, to confide in you about his doubts and even considered crossing your name off the list and assigning you elsewhere last minute without anyone knowing.

But the thought that he could be controlling you — a young, innocent recruit — and even considered doing something so foul didn't sit right with him.

You were your own person, and he couldn't be your shadow, couldn't act as a human shield against all that was cruel and gruesome in life. You had chosen this job, and therefore must have had at least some idea of what your responsibilities would entail, some knowledge of what soldiers go through in pursuit of glory.

Instead of being so pertubed, he should keep it together, he thought, should maintain a stoic façade. He was your superior — your colonel, for God's sake — he was someone you aspired to be, someone that should be an inspiration, a role model, someone that could have your back and be a reliable body to fall back on.

Not someone that couldn't keep it together when you around.

Especially when he shouldn't have been having feelings for you.

You, a young person vulnerable and easily influenced by people older than you, by the likes of him.

It wasn't right. He wasn't right for what he was feeling, for what he had been thinking. It wasn't right for his feelings to cloud his judgement, wasn't right that abusing his power had even crossed his mind, let alone been tempted to act upon it.

Your voice pulled him from his thoughts. "König? Are you alright, sir?"

Turning his head to face you, he nodded with false certainty, containing his worry in an attempt to appear confident for you.

"Ja, King, it's okay. Just thinking, that's all."

You quirked a brow, not convinced. "Hey."

Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, a serious expression was on your face, which caught König off guard and made his eyes widen. "If you're thinking that I'm going to get myself killed then you've got another thing coming, because I will NOT get shot by the enemy."

His back slumped over a little, averting his gaze for a moment. "Nein, sie haben recht."

"Ich sollte nicht zulassen, dass meine Gefühle mein Urteilsvermögen trüben." König mumbled something else under his breath in German, then quickly shook his head and laughed, looking into your eyes again.

Tension in his body was eased a little. "No, you're right."

A little. Because he wasn't going to dismiss the thoughts gnawing at the back of his head as mere paranoia.

You perked up. "Good, glad we've got that cleared up, sir! I want you to know that I won't disappoint!"

His heart skipped a beat at your smile, so eager to please and make him proud, that he shuffled uncomfortably, trying to get the butterflies in his stomach to calm down. Now wasn't the time.

Idly fidgeting with his combat knife as the helicopter blades hummed above, he went back to thinking over all the possibilities and different ways this mission could go awry:

...What if these were the wrong coordinates, or the helicopter would be attacked the minute they landed? The thought of an ambush wasn't an irrational one — it had happened before, he reminded himself — so he had brought a few more weapon crates than necessary for safekeeping.

...What if the helicopter's signal was intercepted and everyone including the pilot were destined for a fatal crash? Counting the number of parachutes and noting the fire exit, he could rest a little easier if an emergency like that was to arise, yet it still did little to soothe his nerves.

...What if you really did get shot? In case that happened, he had alerted some operators beforehand to serve as re-enforcements, one of those on board including a skilled army medic, under the guise of needing more manpower in case things went south. After all, this extraction could not have go wrong. It shouldn't have gone wrong.

But... what if you died? König wouldn't know how to deal with the feelings associated with your death, knowing that he had loved you from afar yet never acted on it. At least he'd be able to keep his shameful secret a secret, and you'd pass away never knowing what he truly saw you as, truly thought of you.

He had little time to figure out what was causing the trepidation to stiffen his muscles as the helicopter suddenly swerved and lowered, landing kilometres away from the designated building yet on unstable ground nonetheless. Any moment soldiers could attack it if they had known the group's location, so the blades kept spinning and the engine kept running for an immediate getaway.

König assumed authority. "Everyone remember the plan?"

Four heads nodded in sync.

"Gut. Then you all know what to do. I will enter from the side with my Lieutenant—" he said, gesturing with his head at a masked operator beside you, "—while you three—" referring to you and two others you were only vaguely aquainted with, "—storm from the back. Ja?"

König's eyes stalled on you for a moment longer than necessary. You were going to be alright, he told himself. He'd keep you in his field of vision and could provide you with cover once you regrouped when you'd really need it.

"A quick extraction," he reminded, eyes stern yet heart disbelieving. "Simply go in, get the data, and go out."

A final nod of the head from König as he and his associate separated from your group. You headed towards the back of the building, fully alert, aiming behind corner incase there had been someone waiting to assassinate you.

Doors creaking as one of the men pushed, the three of you filtered in noiselessly, attempting to be as discreet as possible and wincing when the door slammed not so quietly. Guns cocked and silencers attached, you advanced in a line, blending in to the shadows.

As you walked, there were no signs of life, and the storehouse seemed abandoned. No machinery was being operate. No voices could be heard.

All was still and quiet.

Eerily quiet.

Feeling the hairs on your arms and neck stand on end, you shuddered. You made eye contact with one of the men in front of you who had more expertise, and he looked on edge, eyebrows creased in focus under his balaclava. None of this felt right.

Suddenly, something small rolled over towards you all. Blinking once, twice, you let out a panicked scream and dived for cover.

"Grenade!"

All hell broke loose.

Bullets ricocheted over your head, guns blasting from so many directions you couldn't pinpoint their source.

Slowly recovering from your momentary shock, you gripped your rifle tight and started shooting back, hidden behind a load of wooden crates. When you saw your hooded colonel crouching in a corner, you relaxed. With an encouraging nod from him, that was all you needed to go change positions, and you lunged forward. All was going smoothly at that point.

So engrossed in eliminating the threats in front of him, however, König only came to the realisation that you weren't there when he didn't see your figure in his peripheral vision.

Panic consumed his senses and circulated through his veins. All at once, he was frantically scanning the immediate area, searching for any trace of you.

You were thrashing and kicking as you were being pulled by rough hands, your fingers reaching for your holster through gritted teeth, yet it was just out of grasp. You were thrown harshly against the wall, and the enemy towered over you, feeling high from his power trip and excited to exert authority he had never had up to now.

Just as a knife made its way to your throat, your hand finally found your side arm and shot a bullet between his eyes, body falling on top of you like a sack of potatoes.

You convulsed involuntarily, hyperventilating under his weight and the sudden situation. Noting your surroundings, your heart sank.

You were in no man's land, full view of soldiers shooting at your team. The extraction point was just in sight, exactly how and where it was illustrated on the blueprint.

So far, no one had noticed you, too preoccupied aiming down their sights to see you shuffling under a corpse. You could enter those headquarters right now, could be proclaimed a hero of this story, and make your colonel proud and finish before schedule.

The risk was too big. You were bound to get shot.

Yet, against all better judgement, you dashed for the entrance, taking advantage of the element of surprise as three men turned towards you with wide eyes, not expecting to see you enter. Two were haphazardly shoving papers into a half-open folder thrown on the table.

Three shots fired before they could scramble for a gun, you rushed towards the desk. Scanning the material, your eyes widened in shock. This was it.

Now, your only choice was to crawl back into the line of fire. Soldiers still kept shooting with their backs turned, endless ammunition right at their disposal.

You were totally helpless on your own. Just one pair of wandering eyes from the enemy and just one shot in the back of the head would be all that would take to end your life at that moment and make all of your efforts go to waste.

Although an atheist, you mouthed a silent prayer, before taking a deep breath, and sprinted.

Seeing sudden movement headed towards him, König acted on instinct, and pulled the trigger on you.

His heart stopped.

Time slowed as your body fell in slow motion, more bullets piercing through your gear.

Realising his mistake immediately, he almost vomited his own stomach out at seeing you fall lifelessly on the ground, eyes wide and body dropping on impact.

"Scheisse, cover me, verdammt!" He yelled over his shoulder, all rational thought ceasing.

Breathing rapid and strained, he rushed towards you, gently wrapping his arms around your body — growing weaker by the minute — and headed straight for the first sign of cover he could see. Behind unstable and temporary refuge that could be blown to pieces, König was at a loss at what to do.

He had expected everything, evaluated every possible scenario, every possible outcome, even prepared a lifeline for you on the off-chance that you'd be injured in action.

Yet he hadn't anticipated that he would be the one to shoot you. Never.

Shaking violently, König could barely get any words out. "—S-schatz, please please please—"

Hesistant hands hovered over your wounds, conflicted, as blood was staining your uniform, wrenching König's heart. His mind kept repeating you did this. You did this. You did this.

You needed urgent aid, and you needed it right now, yet he didn't deserve to touch you, his hands clenched into fists as he didn't want to break you further, treating you like fragile glass that could shatter into pieces under his touch if he so held you.

He was the one that did this to you. You, the young recruit he was so hopelessly infatuated with, a person who he had cherished and loved from afar, the person who made him feel good things for the first time ever in his life.

He did this to you.

He was the monster in your closet, the threat that König had desperately attempted protect you from all this time, the threat that you were told to eliminate on this mission. The enemy.

The enemy that had mistakenly shot you.

"Es tut mir so leid, I'm so sorry—" König's mind couldn't function properly, speaking in broken mix of English and German. He couldn't gather his thoughts, couldn't think.

"—I'm so so so sorry. Please don't die, bitte vergib mir, forgive me, forgive me, schatz. Forgive me. Ich liebe dich, schatz, do you hear me? I love you."

Bullets whizzed past you both relentlessly, both of you still caught in crossfire. König's lips were moving yet you couldn't hear what he was saying to you, couldn't feel anything as you slowly lost consciousness, slowly closed your eyes.

A calloused hand tapped your face in desperation, your vision blurred.

"—Nein, nein, King! Stay awake! I'm calling for the re-enforcements now! Please, don't die on me— I'm so sorry..."

Shaky yelling through the walkie-talkie, voice cracking. "This is your colonel, König! We're retreating right now! One of ours is wounded! Send the re-enforcements right now to this location! I repeat, we are retreating! I am calling this mission off!"

"What? Are you crazy, König?!" A break in character from the commander, before immediately assuming professionalism once more. "Proceed with the mission! You are on the verge of breaking their defenses! You will enter their headquarters and be able to—"

"Nein. That was an order, commander," he hissed through gritted teeth, nearly crushing the device in his death-grip. "We are retreating. I am calling this mission off."

A pause. Then: "Copy that, colonel. We are sending your re-enforcements to cover you as you exit. Your helicopter is waiting. Hold out for thirty seconds longer."

Sighing with relief, he suddenly thought his heart stopped beating when he saw you laying there motionlessly, eyes closed. Desperately tapping at your cheek did nothing to awaken you. He prayed that you'd survive, willing time to go faster.

At last, loud whirring from above gave him the only comfort. Not waiting a second longer, König picked up your limp body and dashed outside, the helicopter lifting off as the rest of the crew threw themselves inside.

Opening your vest to inspect your wounds, he saw a blood-soakes folder secured tightly to your chest.

It was the data. You risked your life for the mission. You risked everything to accomplish the task and he had shot you anyways.

"—This is your colonel, König. We have the data. Mission accomplished, I repeat, mission accomplished. King has the data."

The radio crackled with an indistinguishable response, yet König heard nothing, blood rushing to his head and ringing persisting. Medics wasted no time to wheel you into an operating room, tearing your limp body away from his arms. He avoided the celebrations and cheers for their colonel, leaving everyone dumbfounded at his reaction. Shouldn't have he been proud? The mission was a success!

Yet the mission wasn't a success, and if anything, he felt shame. No one knew why their colonel holed himself up in his room aside from himself.

The news of you in critical condition in the hospital broke König.

As much as he wanted to see you, to check on your health and be the one to see your first signs of recovery, he couldn't. He couldn't bear to witness the colour drained from your face as you laid unmoving on the bed, the slow beeping from the heart rate monitor machine the only indication that you were alive.

He just couldn't. Not when he caused this. Not when he fucked up this much.

Using the gym as a coping mechanism for a while, he trained harder and more often than ever before, only wishing to make the pain go away. When he wasn't at the gym all throughout the day or at odd hours of the night, he'd toss and turn in his bed, having nightmares about your body bleeding out below him as the shot relentlessly echoed in his head. Or worse, he'd imagine himself shooting you again, only this time he'd find the barrel of his gun was aimed at your forehead execution-style, your unassuming face suddenly exploding into bloody pieces and what was left of your bewildered expression still remained even after he had pulled the trigger.

At those, König would spring upright, screaming "No!" in anguish.

He'd be panting heavily, bedsheets drenched in his own sweat and feeling like he was suffocating with each rise and fall of his chest. When the situation sunk in, he'd clench his fists so tightly his knuckles went white, shaken to his very core. On those nights, König wanted nothing more than to hurt himself, to compensate for the injury he inflicted upon you and how he had completely disgraced you.

At one point, when he had finally had enough, in his blind craze snatched the pistol laying by his bed, flicked the safety off and aimed it at the same place he had shot you, just to break down in despair when no bullet came out, the clip hidden in his bedside drawer.

Hand tightly squeezing his heart through his soaked t-shirt, he was repulsed by the fact that he was completely healthy and could walk freely while you lay injured and dying.

Under his watch, you had been injured. Under him, your body had crumpled. And it was his fault.

In emotional turmoil, he soon lost all ability to function. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and could hardly find the motivation to get out of bed most of the time, convinced that he had killed you, convinced that he was a monster. Responsibilities were kept on hold, the next best person taking his place. No one questioned the new arrangement, despite the shared confusion from everyone on base.

He couldn't take this. He couldn't take this any longer. He would have rather died, sacrificed himself in any way possible if it meant that you could live another day, as you could make a greater impact on the world than he ever could. Could be a better person than he ever could.

It was his fault. He shot you. He had shot you. He had shot the recruit that he had hopelessly fallen in love with, yet only he himself was to blame for it for his lack of control, for his inability to be unaffected by his feelings.

One day, a knock on his door pulled him out from his trance.

Prior to the interruption, König was staring at the cement wall, his eyes unfocused, completely still and barely breathing. He wasn't himself.

Immediately straightening his legs and nearly tearing a tendon from how fast he got up despite having been so inactive for the last few days, he stomped quickly towards the door, his face glum yet eyes glinting with the merest hint of hope.

Hand reaching for the handle, he had readied himself, expecting bad news coming from a surgeon wearing a medical mask and a blue uniform, a solemn expression as they devasted him with your passing.

All but the latter was true.

"Colonel König, sir. The patient is awake. You may now visit them if you so wish."

Blinking a couple of times, König thought he had heard incorrectly.

"...P...Pardon?"

Repeated were the words that König was shocked to hear.

"King is awake, sir. Their condition is a stable one. Our team thought to notify you first since you were on the mission with them."

Gasping, König could barely breathe. He felt like he was drowning, drowning despite his head breaking out from the water. "What... I... where?"

"Ground floor, room twelve. They're on medication as of this moment yet are fully awake."

König nearly fell to his knees. You were alive!

You were alive! He hadn't killed you! He thanked the Gods, and could barely keep composed, barely able to stop himself from dashing to the center of base and yelling into the sky in pure joy.

"I— thank you... so much."

Running faster than he had ever ran in his whole life, he was at your door in minutes.

Yet, as his fingers reached for the door knob, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, hand poised mid-air.

What if you didn't want to see him after the whole ordeal?

What if you resented him, and would spit in his face the moment he walked in?

What if you hated him, and wanted nothing to do with him ever again?

Hesistantly knocking twice, he nearly had a heart attack when your voice broke through the door:

"Come in," you called simply; your voice was hoarse, but it was clearly still you.

Taking a deep breath, König pushed the door open.

There you were. He was having heart palpitations at seeing you awake and looking at him.

The light coming through the open curtains made your skin glow despite how pale you were, eyes sparkling and crinkling in happiness despite the dark circles and heavy bags under your eyes, hair splayed out behind on your pillow, resembling a halo, despite how greasy it was.

He had missed you. So much.

Then his heart sunk as he reminded himself that he was the reason for why you were here, why you were in in this state to begin with.

Seeing König, You shot him a daring smirk despite how numb your face felt. "Hey, König, sir. Did you visit me at all? I'm sure you missed me."

Waiting in anticipation, you kept looking at him excitedly. At the lack of response and his refusal to meet your gaze, it faded completely. "—Wh—what? You—"

"Not— not even once? Not—"

Tears were welling up in your eyes. "—you didn't come see me even one time?"

Maybe you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up. Maybe you should have thought that König would not have time to spare in his busy schedule.

Yet you couldn't not get your hopes up when as soon as you woke, your first thought was of König. Although the grim reality hit you hard like a bucket of cold water dumped over your head, you still wished to see him.

And yet, he hadn't wished to see you at all. He had avoided you like the plague.

"Scheisse—"

König started pacing the room, head hung low as he weighed the pros and cons. Indecision.

"—Do you really... do you really want to know why I didn't visit you, King?"

You nodded meekly, lip quivering.

He finally made up his mind.

If you rejected him, at least he'd rest easier knowing that you'd live, and continue to be happy for you from afar. He'd still support you, still be your colonel, still love you even when you found someone else.

"I... I put you in this position, King... It was all my fault," he begun, his voice barely above a whisper.

Tone softed as he finally stopped, as still as a statue, a metre away. From this angle, you saw how bloodshot his eyes were, how they sagged in sadness, how dark circles had formed from lack of sleep. His pale blue eyes were dull, glued to the ground.

"Not only did I lose sight of you on the battlefield, I also shot you. Shot my own—" Pausing, not knowing how to refer to you.

He carried on. "I couldn't live with myself. I still can't live with myself. I'm walking, uninjured, as you are laying in bed, recovering from an injury that I am the reason for. From bullet wounds that were the result of me."

Voice hitching slightly, he tried to keep his breathing under control. But he couldn't.

"How could the monster that shot you enter your room and dare to look at you? How could I watch you cling to life, while I walk freely despite causing you this— this agony? What right do I have looking at you after putting you here?"

You allowed the tears to spill down your cheeks.

He stopped, eyelids drooping, finally meeting your eyes.

"I have feelings for you, King, I—" Trembling "—I do. But... I shouldn't be feeling this way. You have your whole life ahead of you and I—"

"—I've... aged... I'm not the same man I was before. I've witnessed things far too disturbing to ever share with you. I... I know that you should be with someone better and I—"

Although still in a daze and sedated by the drugs, your thought process was still clear enough where you could be sure about this.

Reaching with a tentative hand for König's larger and rougher one, you squeezed it weakly, looking up at him with a heartfelt expression.

König smiled for the first time in ages.

Through that gesture alone, König knew that you forgave him.

He allowed his breathing to stabilise, wanting nothing more than to start over with you.

...

Note: MY FAT FUCIIJF FINGERS SLIPPED AND I POSTED THIS EARLIER THANI WAS SUPPOSED TO OJ MY GOD I AM AN IDIOT 🤡🤡

Edit next day: how tmdid this fet 100+ notes im sobbing 😭😭. thabk you everyone for readijg this angst fest!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[w3bheadz]

Heyy I've never done a request before but I hope you'd like to respond to it! ^^

I wondered what Peeta Mellark’s and Johanna Mason’s rather smutty headcanons would be. But I don’t necessarily ask for both of their headcanons of course!! If you’re comfortable with only writing about one of them it would already bring me much joy to read!!

Greetings and love💕

Hi! Just doing some catch ups and writing out requests, I have a few hcs for each, so I'll just do a few hunger games nsfw hcs :) I also will clarify that all of these headcanons are post rebellion and all of the characters are over 18. I'm going to keep it to 5 each, but I have so many more for all of them

Katniss Everdeen ♫↬ She's a top lean switch

♫↬ She isn't very experienced, but don't let that stop her, she's good at what she does ♫↬ If she has a rough day, she likes to destress with her head between your thighs or vise versa ♫↬ She's a jealous thing, so if someone flirts with you, she's keep her hands on you but when you two are finally alone, she'll mark you up so you'll remember that you're hers ♫↬ she's slow and soft, so she doesn't really do quickies, but it it presents itself and you're in the mood, it'll have to do, and she's okay at aftercare, not fully indepth but she will clean up and check on you with some water

Peeta Mellark ♫↬ He's a bottom, theres no way he can top unless he has major motivation. that being said, quickies in public are a no go because he's really loud ♫↬ one of his major turn ons is seeing you wear his clothes ♫↬ he has mommy issues, of course he has a praise kink, and he also has a thing for his hair being pulled ♫↬ he has no previous experience, but he wants to learn, so you teach him. he doesn't care what position you're in, as long as he can see your face anything is good ♫↬ he's amazing with aftercare. he has snacks in the bedside table and little bottles of water, gives you a bath and washes your hair for you, all of the things

Johanna Mason

♫↬ She's a top, she doesn't like to bottom ever. ♫↬ she's rough, she's touchy, and damn is she possessive. if someone flirts with you, she's on you like flies on honey. she isn't one for pda but this is the exception. ♫↬ she isn't good at apologies. when you're upset with her, she'll spend hours between your thighs, getting you to forget why you were even mad in the first place. ♫↬ she's a hands on learner. when you are both starting out, she takes her time to map out every inch of your body with her hands over and over again until its memorized ♫↬ her aftercare game is pretty good, she always makes sure to have some water and a couple of towels on hand just incase.

Finnick Odair

♫↬ He's a switch, I don't think he has a preference ♫↬ Because of his trauma with sexual situations, he always wants to make sure he has your consent before he does literally anything. He's a very gentle guy. that being said, he doesn't really get jealous, because at the end of the day, he knows whos bed you'll end up in at the end of the night. ♫↬ he loves to tease. he's amazing with his tongue (i mean have you SEEN the water scene in catching fire??) and even better with his dick. he knows how to hit every spot that makes you scream ♫↬ he's got a praise kink. call him a goodboy and he is gone ♫↬ he's really sweet when it comes to aftercare. He's whisper sweet nothings into your ear while he cleans you up and then he'll cuddle you to sleep. there is not a singular time he has ever forgotten aftercare because of some sexual trauma from the capitol.

Tag List: @jhutchissupercool @taylor9736

Requests are open :)

@mxdnights0

[hplonesomeart]

Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3

…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol

BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!

I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.

Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)

Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!

I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)

[sylvieserene]

Why are people so defendent of Tom Taylor (DC)? Like people on reddit subs treat him as some sort of Saint incapable of flaws and with top notch flawless writing....I'm actually baffled that people defend actual valid criticism of his Nightwing run with "You are just a chronic hater" , "DickBabs hater" , "Toxic DickKory fan" , some even accusing that you're a LGBTQ+/Liberal thoughts hater 💀

Like guys....he's not a God. He is just a human calm down....

I have never really made a post about him specifically since I like to keep my blog positive but um what's wrong with the fan base??

I recently made a post on reddit discussing the "Wisely and Ethically invested money" Alfred's letter scene of the Nightwing (2016) run by Taylor and ppl are actually telling me I'm the problem since these details don't matter and that I'm an idiot for looking into it? (Some of them don't even clarify why and make pretty bad comparisons/points) Like uh what

You are telling me Dick Grayson , the same guy who turned down a whole rich funding from a shady guy at one point wouldn't care on how Alfred somehow managed to have more money than Bruce Wayne ???? And the only explanation we get is that it was invested WISELY & ETHICALLY?!

Like bro depending on the continuity, Alfred has killed people in his run as a spy in England, he is not too innocent and his definition of morals and ethics can differ ALOT from us.

If TT did act on it other than the bland/low stake stuff he's been doing, we could have had a pretty good stake in the game since that money would matter quite a lot (its too relevant to the plot) and would put Dick into a dilemma on if he should use it or not incase he found out its origins...It would have actually led to Character development...

Like what's wrong in pointing out bad writing? You have to show or atleast show implications for things not just spell it out.... just saying "Character A did good things" isn't enough. You need to show what good things Character A did.

Im genuinely curious as to what exactly is this fan base...and what's wrong with it since....how is this question even dumb?

For people curious on the post, here's the link to it. Feel free to read and share your opinions!

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

i don’t want to be annoying if it’s content you don’t want to see discussed in the first place, but would you prefer scenelights shippers dni? or is it just, prefer you don’t have it in your face such as tagged like clarified!! i think i saw another ask where you implied it was fine but that’s just Not the blog intention, but i’d like to specifically check incase :3 example, if someone who romantically liked them wanted to use the other blog’s art as matching icons, would that make you and the other mod of the blog uncomfy? i just feel a little bad without checking first because i love them both shipped romantically, not, and in my own little unclarified aroace way x) also the art rocks i want to be as respectful as possible :^)

I just would rather not be pulled into it if you know what I mean

I.e please don’t tag my posts or the blogs posts preferably!! We don’t draw it as that ship, and would really rather it not be taken it that way since we see them as friends/brothers!

As long as we aren’t getting directly pulled into it, it’s fine cuz I mean we probably wouldn’t even know about it lol

Pfps matching is fine, do it for whatever purpose you have, we both r very happy that people dig our art though :D!

[itsyamajesty]

[I don't know how to do a masterpost, so this is going to get ALOT of edits]

The way this went is just that one ProZD skit (alternatively, "we doing circles now?")

I be thinking about all this stuff for Curse of Freedom (story based AU)

Then brain latches onto Rising Charcoal AU

"Guess this is happening now"

Rising Charcoal AU

Cookie Run Kingdom AU by (ya) Majesty

Based on 3 original what ifs:

Dark Enchantress wins

The Ancients are gone (missing, trapped, dead? Who knows, they aren't here to save anyone)

The Beasts have awaken, much weaker

(more below)

'Proper' Plot Description

(some things are ommitted because this is WIP, plus there's some stuff I want to be mysteries)

Most cookies have lost count of how long ago it happened.

The Ancients lost, they were split apart, and she took over.

Despite best efforts, the fighting was in vain. Are the Ancients dead... or simply captured? For some, the answer is clear, but with only the words of the darkness to listen to?

Is it true all hope is lost?

The Hollyberry Kingdom has been invaded by deadly poisons and crimson curses, all cookies who escape the jungles fall to the puppeteered Pitaya Dragon. The biggest settlement remaining is in a deep ravine, everyday spent planning against the fruit dragon, with the expectation of some trying all they can to free them from a hopeless spell.

The Dark Cacao Kingdom appears safer than ever before. Ruled by duel tyrants, the manipulative poisoneer and possessed knight. Together they've achieved a balance between protection of the public and the posh, a paradise most chose to reside. In truth, the smile of the snake and the sayings of the sword are not safe to believe.

The Golden Cheese Kingdom are wastes from which the licorice scented dead rise, clawing their way towards a small settlement of the Sand Slices, protected by shredding sandstorms caused by a surviving deity and the purple smoke of a revived advisor.

The entirety of Beast-Yeast has turned into various factories of unknown products, all being sent towards a laboratory on the island south. Some of these factories however are in ruin, covered by twirling vines and the aura of faerie magic.

In the Vanilla Kingdom, Dark Enchantress rules over it all.

Most other settlements have already been stampeded over by cake monsters, the larger being taken down by large creatures even the best will struggle to clash against.

It should have been this moment that all faith left- and yet hope had returned.

For unknown reason with unknown creators, the Beast Cookies awoke in bodies for their own. They had many new abilities with their vessels, but they were all much weaker overall.

In a fight for the world's fate, the Beasts' wish for conquest fades.

Guided by shards of their lost power, holding the memories of kings and queens who gained their power after, and now before, them.

Fighting it or not.

Their original selves are destined to return.

If they don't, the fate of Earthbread is sealed.

-

At some point, there will be a "key posts" list here:

-

For now, I don't know how to actually do the embed link stuff so

Everything can be found with the Rising Charcoal AU tag

I'm not expecting to get any fan content, but just incase anyone is interested, use Rising Charcoal AU Fancontent tag (or something else clarifying it's fanwork) instead of the main tag please. Just to keep everything organized (if anyone does make fancontent: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU)

I didn't originally have anything big for it beforehand, but I'm getting ideas, Plus, Curse of Freedom is very story based, and I want to try (and fail) to write it, I can't make half of the posts I want to without spoilers. So I can post this instead. There is still a story to it, but I don't plan on writing more than a couple oneshots or short non-serious series, so there's no pressure for me to keep things secret (although there is some things I'll keep in more mystery for awhile)

Also with school I have a lot of drawing opportunities, I already got some stuff, but nothing post worthy yet

[cupoffoam]

Just some gay inner turmoil I'd share

I don't normally pronounce my sexual identity to people. If someone asks (and I know they're chill) I'll say "yeah I'm queer" because I am.

Mostly because I'm not a fan of labels and I want to normalize not having to clarify what type of queer someone is. Queer is queer. Which is also how I feel in the case of biphobia!!! Let these queerfolk live please!!

If someone asks "what type of queer are you" I typically say "sapphic", again, cuz I just avoid labeling myself incase I learn that I have a different preference later.

Right now however, internally I want to say I'm lesbian. I have never and I mean NEVERRR second guess my love for women. (If you have ever second guessed ur love for women ur still valid btw this is just my story babe!) But I do constantly question my romantic feelings towards men. I'll think I have a crush on a guy but it never makes me as happy and as giddy as I get with women.

Because of that I've always lowkey thought of myself as more lesbian yet something in the back of my mind is like "but what if" and I just wanted to post this during pride month to let everyone know, confusion is normal and everyone is valid and you don't NEED a label.

However, the flags and sub-community spaces make it tempting. Just be yourself. Choose whatever label you want or be as ominous as you want, babies it's all you.

[dustalive]

Hello everyone🗿

This is my lil page where we gettin a bit 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂😎 (I'm JOEKING🥺)

I'm Dust, or thats the alias I went w over the years (it started w my COD username way back then🦅 Explanation incase of confusion under the cut, bcs I am NAWT roleplaying Dust😞)

⌖Mind that english aint my first language pls🧐

⌖any pronouns cs I don't really care👍

⌖I do art, but I am really slow w my stuff so I won't be posting consistently, and my artstyle may vary😔

⌖I could do commisions if anyone interested

⌖This will prob be an multifandom acc, cs it might vary in what fandom I am in. Fandoms, fav characters etc. under cut!

⌖I will be posting about stuff I only feel like drawing at the moment or what I am most invested in rn, its currently undertale🗿

⌖This is a safe place for everyone<𝟑 🍉

DNI pedophiles, zionists, homophobes, racists, nazis, comshipping, if you actively hate religions and openly spread blasphemy, etc. I don't condone any hate on here. I don't have anything against proshippers as long as you aint toxic or nasty in a really REALLY weird way & fictional only (same goes for shipping in general!!)

Tags, socials and other🥳

You can use my art as pfp/other as long as you clearly credit me! Don't repost my art!! (Unless you have permission)

#dustalives art for my art RAHHH🦅🦅

#ask dust for asks🦴

#dust yappin for yappin and rambles🗿

#dustalive for my sona/oc Dust!

@dust_alive is my tiktok, I posted DC on it tho

Thanks for reading!

About fandoms, fav games/characters and own alias/character "Dust" under cut->

Fandoms

Undertale, DC, Sekiro, Ghost of Tsushima, JJK, COD, HonkaiSR/(Genshin)

Fav games🗣‼️(yes, this is very important)

Undertale | Batman: Arkham Knight | Ghost of Tsuhima | Sekiro | Detroid Become Human | The last of us | COD: Cold war | Resident Evil: Biohazard | Zelda: Twillight Princess, OG Slatoon, Super Mario Glaxay (Nintendo games🔥)

Fav characters

Killer, Horror (UTMV), Red Hood (DC), Choso (JJK), Boothill (HSR), Sekiro (Sekiro💀), Joel (TLOU)

Regarding my own Alias "Dust": ->

⌖It's now part of my own character/sona, and a separate character from the dusttale!sans (Bcs no, I am not roleplaying as Dust😞). Just wanted to clarify that for future confusion. If it gets confusing to interract with a post (bcs your reaching out to me, and dont mean Dust!Sans if he is involved), you can also just call me Alive ig, but I prefer Dust if its possible, ty!

⌖She is me, but at the same time not, if that makes sense? Ig she is the better version of me that I want to be but can't (her backstory is still related to me tho), as she still has stuff to her character that are directly linked and connected to me, but altered in how she got them, deals with it (such as scars, mental stuff? Dont want to get spesific). But ofc she still has the same character traits as me🗿 I dont want to ruin this character by making them cringy w trauma I can't relate to, or too edgy. And yeah I said she is my sona but I see her more of an oc if that makes sense? Anyway, this is not an direct sona/oc post so I'll keep it short!

Heres my lil sona🦅

[egtotaldramatakes]

Okay cool. Hi! This is a new account for Total Drama takes, opinions, and headcanons.

I saw lots of people with these and I wanted to make one for fun!

I’m sure everyone knows how these work, but incase you don’t….

You click on my profile, click on the little ask box, and say what you want to about Total Drama. Like mentioned, this can be a take, opinion, headcanon, etc! I then post it for you^_^

This can be anything ranging from ship hc, to your takes on canon events from the show, ranging to fandom things. You can even submit things can even be things from your own AU

Now we’ve got that? Cool! Here are my rules I have in regards to what I won’t post.

It’s also worth nothing that this is my blog, anything I don’t want to post I don’t have to and I am allowed to simply delete it.

(CW, SH mention.)

1. NSFW. NSFW takes include;

- 18+ comments or opinions on characters.

The exceptions to the 18+ comments are: The Hosts(not bridge & Geoff), the Ice dancers, and the tennis rivals, since they’re all actual adults. Even if characters like Alejandro, José, MacArthur, etc are 18(+).

2. $H.

I will not post $H headcanons if they are too much more than “__ used to $H but is recovering!!!”

I know that HC characters like your fav with $H problems can be a nice way to cope if you do it yourself, but I will NOT post anything too graphic. Even a mention of how they do it may not be posted.

3. Addressing other ACTUAL people/accounts by name.

If youre saying something negative about someone, then leaving their name blank and keeping them anonymous is perfectly fine, but a direct name drop will not be posted.

I also don’t think I need to clarify this, but if it’s something about a character from the show, that’s 100% fine.

That’s all I have for now, if I update these rules at all then I’ll update you all! Until then, hand over those takes!

[thepurplewombat]

you're mad that people write jgy... doing shit he canonically did? you guys are fucking nuts.

I'm going to assume that you are referring to this ask. If I'm wrong and you're referring to something else, please let me know so that I can make a more sensible rebuttal.

So the first possibility is that you were referring to my annoyance about the perennial crop of dumpster mushrooms people keep coming up with with regards to Jin Guangyao and Mo Xuanyu. It always amazes me that the purity police are so determined that their faves must be perfect that they completely strip them of any agency. Mo Xuanyu can't be both a cool character and a fucked-up little dude who harassed his brother, he has to be a perpetual victim, forever suffering until one day he just snaps.

Incase you were wondering, summoning Satan to murder your relatives is not, in fact, healthy behaviour. It's fucked up! Yes, even if they're awful! And it is in fact one of many fucked-up things MXY did, one of which was harass his half-brother.

Anyway, it pisses me off that people try to make the whole 'kicked out of JLT' thing somehow JGY's fault because, even aside from what I mentioned in the original post about the wounds and such, it takes one of the very few pieces of information we know about Mo Xuanyu from his own pen, and removes his agency in the situation completely. And that's not even going into how mind-bogglingly stupid it would have been for JGY to set up a plot that even touches on incest, considering...*waves at the whole Qin Su situation*.

It's okay to like Mo Xuanyu even though he's not a paragon of moral purity. This is MDZS, there are no paragons here.

The other possibility is that you're referring to my distaste for murderYao in AUs. To which I say...well, show me the pressures. Show me the forces that caused Jin Guangyao, alone of the entire cast, to still have comitted his canonical crimes. If Wei Wuxian isn't making anyone cannibalize themselves and Nie Mingjue isn't constantly on the ragged edge of sanity, one wrong word away from a murderous rampage, why is Jin Guangyao still somehow a murderer? If Wei Wuxian gets to be a Manic Pixie Dream Necromancer and Nie Mingjue gets to be, idk, a professional bunny cuddler, why doesn't Jin Guangyao get to be a wedding planner of awesome and terrifying efficiency or something?

So those are the two things from that post that I thought might have upset you, Nonny. If I guessed wrong which post you're talking about, or guessed wrong which things you're talking about, feel free to either send me another ask clarifying - a link or even just the first line of the post would be helpful - or you're always welcome to come off anon and reblog with your additions and corrections.

Fly safe o7

[anewp0tat0]

participant sign up for the 200 kuro chapter Finish the Story game!

thank you to everyone for voting on the interest form! since the idea got a positive response, I will now clarify on the details of how this will work.

I'm still unsure of how to actually do this, so here are two methods:

A) the final story is a suprise to everyone + private brainstorming.

B) the basic game, more coherent.

once everyone has a plan, they may start working! I know that this is last minute and everyone has their own work and projects and agendas(me included), so I'm looking to making the final deadline the end of the month, and the first check in being the 17th.

I've decided to start a discord chat(never done that before so this should be interesting) for the participants who sign up. if you don't have and don't wish to get discord, I can make accommodations for you. though I hope the majority is okay with this.

according to the poll, atleast 27 people are interesting in participating, which is great since it exceeds the minimum! what's going to happen now is this: if you would like to participate, please comment or reblog this post with an affirmative(a 👍 will do fine). I will give this post 3 days, and then I will reach out to every volunteer individually with the link to the discord. if you expressed your willingness to volunteer on the other post but don't say anything on this one, I will @ you in the comments just incase you missed this post.

finally, I apologize, and while I don't think anyone assumed this, I should still make it clear that this is just a fun group project, so there won't be any money involved. so I really appreciate anyone who feels willing to share their creativity!

and of course, do keep in mind that your writing or drawing or whatever skills aren't important here; this is a creative challenge, so your ability to build on the plot in whatever little way is key!

[gotham-daydreams]

Hello! May i ask if the reader is amab or afab or perhaps gender neutral? I'm a fem so idk if it's alright for me to read seeing as most amab fics don't want any afab readers even in some gender neutral fics too idk y, so that's why I'm asking just incase:)

You probably already mentioned/ clarified this but i'm just making sure, thank u in advance!

Hey! Yeah, the reader is gender neutral but you can read it however you'd like :]

Fem, masc, or neutral yourself, anyone can read whatever I post so I don't mind if you continue to read or not! If the reader technically being gender neutral makes you uncomfortable for any reason, then you can stop reading of course, but if not, then I'm not going to stop you.

Even if I do write something that's afab or amab, everyone can still read it! Though as of now, the reader is gender neutral :]

Thank you for sending in the ask!

[scleracentipede]

I'd love more info about the individual system members! I also think a full list of ND headcanons for your Jon and Eddie would be cool too! Again, no pressure and thanks so much!!

tysm for clarifying! imma post some art about the different Scarecrow system members today so I’ll list some ND headcanons for ya now ☺️

Putting under a read more cos this got long!

Scarecrow

Scarecrow, as you know, I headcanon as having DID and by extension CPTSD because lets be real their childhood was horrid

He struggles alot with dissocaitive amensia and would probably say that is the part of his mental health he finds the most 'disabling'

He's spent a lot of his life dissociating from any strong emotion be that positive or negative and can barely remember happy moments let alone sad one (e.g., he can't remember getting his doctorate etc.) followed closely by their frequent flashbacks which manifest as bodily feeling flashbacks rather then actual memories.

Thier autistic and very unashamed of it.

Suprisingly were diagnosed in childhood despite the general neglect they faced but this was not a positive thing for them (see their Granny tried to 'fix it')

He never really therefore had like an autism discovery like some later diagnosed people and his response to being autistic was just kind of "Okay then."

He is not very 'good' with social stuff and gets overstimmed extremely easily leading to alot of angry outbursts that others precieve as 'temper tantrums' but he's geniunely in agony from the sensory inputs around him and the response is actually porpotional to what he's experiencing. (Wild right? Autistic people's 'irrational' responses might actually be rational to their experiences /sarcasm)

They are all stimming all the time because otherwise they'll scream but the way they stim varies between the alters in their system and isn't always the safest stim (what I mean by this is some of their stims cause them bodily harm but I don't like calling those 'bad' because that's very shaming)

Alot of people around them assume they don't experience empathy and there's definitely times where they have low empathy but they also experience very intense empathy to people their close to, to animals, and objects they just can't communicate this externally

Thier empathy for objects is very strong and why they fix so many items they find (that art piece 'Can't Help Myself' by Sun Yuang and Peng Yu left them catatonic with an intense grief and empathy for like a week)

He gets very focused on things and overall struggles to take care of himself any meaningful way without support. Like he will forget to eat or clean himself till he gets very stick from it without prompting and support

He likely needs a carer to help but doesn't have one and has to rely on his few friends when their free to keep him alive which does not help with his feelings of guilt and he'll often push people away so their not 'burdened' by him and so they don't feel bad for leaving him to rot.

In reality, his friends do not find it a burden at all and actually enjoy his company when he lets them.

He helps them all much more then he realises but he's stubborn like an ox and won't here it (e.g., helping him gives Jervis a schedule and routine that helps him remember more grounded and Jons company makes him very happy)

He has alot of support needs that often go unmet but he is loved and not a failure for that

Not ND but disability related is they definitely have physical health issues too

Specifically Ehlers-Dahlos Syndrome (like me!) and Marfan Syndrome

They have alot of joint pain, dizziness, nausea, and fatigue that contributes them get overstimmed quicker

They self medicate for this alot becuase they cannot afford how expensive healthcare is in Gotham so are usually a little stoned but that does help get less overstimmed so win-win

He's great to have as a friend to because he always baby apsrin (incase his heart plays up), nausea meds, and weed on him.

Edward

Edward has been misdiagnosed and rediagnosed so many times at this point hes skeptical about what actually applies to him so tends to just say hes neurodivergent if asked

As a child he was just labelled as 'petulant know it all' and got told he 'could be great if he'd just apply himself' in school

He's been diagnosed with the following over the years: basically every cluster b personality disorder depending on the doctor, autism, ADHD, autism and adhd, dyspraxia, brief psychotic disorder, OCD etc.

He personally finds AuDHD and OCD to be the most accurate and isn't sure what name you can give to his mood swings but he is relucantly willing to acknowledge that his emotional response seems inappropriate to situations

His complusions can be very dangerous and have lead to him being quite injured though with age he's got better at redirecting himself to do less harm to himself or reducing how much he needs to do something

He's found additional coping strategies like wearing gloves all the time to reduce his contamination fears that have been super helpful too

He's very fidgety and struggles to sit still and is often heard mumbling and talking to himself as a form of stimming (which one of Scarecrow's system finds very soothing actually like a particularly clever hyperlexic white noise machine)

His coordination isn't the best which frustrates him when he's trying to build his puzzles and leads to him relucantly, so very relucantly, asking for assistance from Echo and Query or in what he sees as the worse case scenario Jervis Tetch if its something more technical

He has hypergraphia and is always drawing and writing on things often feeling like his brain is too full and he needs to get it out

He struggles with some auditory halluncinations and occasional visual ones if he's spiralling (not going to share what because it can be triggering to people with hallucinations to read about)

He struggles alot with body image issues constantly trying to look 'perfect' so he seems more in controll then he feels as he's is terrfied of people realising how much of a fraud his confident exterior is

His weight flucuatates alot with the different medication he takes for his mental health and with his hrt which causes him some distress

Basically any change he cannot control upsets him

More physical disability headcanons: He actually needs his cane as he struggles with fibromyalgia and POTS so needs it to help relieve leg pain and for balance

He does water aerobics as a gentle excercise that helps with his pain (he thinks Scarecrow would benefit from it but he refuses to go with him - it would be so nice on his joints!)

Edward actually experiences alot more low empathy then Scarecrow and had to teach himself sympathy because he did not understand others at all when they were upset or happy

He's quite touch avoidant and isn't sure why (probably trauma Edward) because he often feels like he is so desparate to be hugged that he has been hollowed out with a melon bawler

In addition he often feels very nervous around other men especailly when they get aloud or drunk (once again trauma) so often ends up with closer friendships with the women in his life like Echo Query or the Gotham Sirens who often joke that he is their diversity man hire.

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings!

[laf-outloud]

I definitely had a knee-jerk reaction of "this is BS" when you didn’t post the first ask by the Jared is pulling away from cons with Jensen anon, but reading their second ask puts things into perspective. I know they are actors and are putting on a show at conventions, but I would bet Jared and Jensen still do have a lot of genuine affection for each other, but whether that truly translates into them still being "besties" i don’t know. They seem like rather different people these days. Then again, they could be just as tight, or never speak at all, outside of cons, and we’d never know either way.

Anyway, my point is, when the ask sounded like Jared is avoiding cons with Jensen because he’s a bad friend and he just can’t stand being around him anymore, this seems like BS to me. This is not because the idea isn’t possible, but rather Jared has been doing cons with Jensen for two years after "prequel gate" now, so if he was that upset with Jensen, I think he would have pulled away sooner. I also think Jared (and his management) are too professional to ever tell a con manager "Jared doesn’t want to be booked with Jensen because they aren’t besties anymore," which sounds like grade school crap. So, if the anon was making the "they aren’t friends so no more cons together" claim, I would call BS.

However, when we look at the idea of Jared pulling away for business reasons, I actually think that makes sense. Doing supernatural conventions almost exclusivity for three years past the end of the show is getting a bit much. I think if COVID hadn’t blown everything up for a couple years there, this might have happened sooner, prequel or no prequel drama. I almost wonder if prequel drama might have kept Jared around longer in order to prove that things were fine (incase the Js actually do get a Supernatural revival going in a few years). I was just at Charlotte and it was a lot of fun, the guys were great and seemed to be vining well and happy to be around each other (Jared especially was awesome and in good spirits), but it’s a bit telling that a con where we can’t ask questions about the show did just fine because fans barely ask about the show anymore anyway. As much as I like seeing J2 together and I don’t really plan to go to any events that have just one of them, I think from a business point of view, Jared is smart to cut back on CE cons or ones he shares with Jensen, especially if he had any jobs brewing. Besides, they still have four cons that we know of scheduled together next year and I’m betting there will be a couple more, so it’s not like they’ll never work together again, or get to hang out at cons.

Sorry this got so long. Feel free to disregard if you don’t feel like posting.

Have a good one. 😊

"Anyway, my point is, when the ask sounded like Jared is avoiding cons with Jensen because he’s a bad friend and he just can’t stand being around him anymore, this seems like BS to me." I'll admit, my initial reaction was much like yours, which is why my initial response implied this, but I should clarify that the European anon never implied or indicated that the split was due to their friendship, or lack thereof. That was just me reacting.

But I'm with you, in that, the longer I had to think about it, the more it made sense as a business move. A cult show can only take an actor so far, and maybe some are okay with doing the convention circuit the rest of their lives for that cult show (it's certainly profitable), but if an actor wants to remain marketable, they need to expand their brand and their reach to show buyers that they can pull in fans for their other projects and that they aren't just a one-trick pony.