#to change about itself
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Frankenstein's monster will always be a metaphor for autism to me
#Mine#autism#frankenstein#a creator baffled by their creation not being able to behave & interact in ways their society deems ''normal'' when said creator has put -#little to no time or effort into interacting with their creation or teaching them the rules around how society wants them to be#both the creator & the society viewing the creature as inherrently ''wrong'' and monsterous for things the creature has no ability -#to change about itself#the creature has to fuck up in a big way (killing the child) (in my metaphor = hitting burnout/demand exceeding ability) -#in order for anyone to notice that they're struggling & that they don't ''fit''#&instead of the creator or the society making any effort to support the creature in learning the aformentioned rules & figuring out how to#exist in a world that is not built for the creature & doesn't want the creature to exist within it#they kill the creature#(+ Mary Shelley dedicated it to her father which hits hard for me tbh even if she didn't mean it like that)
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I think that one thing people fail to understand is that unsolicited literary criticism coming from an online stranger who is reading with no knowledge of what the authors intended goal is, is not going to be received the same as say: the authors beta reader or friends who know what the authors intended goal and has the sufficient knowledge and input to help the author reach that desired outcome.
"But I'm only trying to be helpful" How do I know you have the knowledge and literary skill for you to be able to actaully do that when we don't know each other and you are essentially a stranger to me? Are you applying this criticism based out of personal biased experience and desire to see the story or characterization be driven in another direction or tweaked, or do you know the author's intentions for the character? If the story is incomplete, are you basing your criticism of a character on the incomplete narration with only partial information available of them or are you building up a report until the story's completion? Did the author provide you with the information needed to make a fully informed criticism?
Have you discussed with the author what their plans are or are you assuming them based off the narration, especially if the narration is proven or implied to be unreliable or missing key points of the plot? Are you unbiased enough to help them reach their desired outcome for the characters and story regardless of your personal feelings towards the characters/antagonists and setting? Can you handle being told your specific input isn't wanted because you're a reader and/or have no written anything relating to their genre or topic? Do you understand and respect that the author's personal experiences might influence their writing and make it different than how you would have done it personally? Do you understand if an author only wants input from a specific demographic relating to their story?
If it's for fanfiction or other hobby media, are you holding a free hobby to a professional standard? Are you trying to give criticism because you feel like the author has produced 'subpar job performance' of their fic? Are you viewing their work as a personal intimate outlet or something that must conform with mass media? Are you applying rules and guidelines when the fic is shared for simple sharing sake? Is your criticism worded appropriately and focused on the parts where the author has requested input on rather than a general dismissal and or disapproval?
Have you put yourself in a place where you assumed you have the input needed for the story to evolve better, or have you asked what the author needs and what they're having trouble with? Can you handle having your criticism rejected if the author decides their story doesn't need the change and not take it as a personal offense against your character? Are you crossing that boundary because you think you are doing the author a favor? Are you trying to be helpful, or do you just want to be?
I think sometimes when people hear authors go 'please don't give me unsolicited writing advice or criticism' they automatically chalk it up to 'this author doesn't want ANY constructive feedback on their stuff at all' and not "i already have trusted individuals who will help me with my writing goals and- hey i don't know you like that, please stop acting so overly familiar with me'
#small rant brought to you by: listened to my younger sibling's friend be very upset today because an original story she wrote gets bashed#the story itself is fine maybe a little fast paced but overall she was happy with it's progress#and there is this one dude who keeps trying to tell her that her story needs to go another direction to 'make sense' and it changes the end#after she's repeatedly explained she's happy with the outcome and does not want to expand on that plot point any further#dude says she's 'unreceptive to criticism' no dude you're just being a dick#constructive criticism helps the AUTHOR reach THEIR intended goal#not steer the story in the direction a reader wants to see it go#sara shush#pls don't reblog with any 'but i take unsolicited criticism all the time' this isnt about you. your boundary is not other people's boundary
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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color coded affection
#thru my experience chronologically the blue one actually goes after the yellow one; but development wise it looks better like this prolly#this is harvest moon like hearts where the color changes as affection level goes higher#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#yea i can't believe once i didn't put any speck of attention to him i am not even looking?????#but now i look intently at him and be like isn't he kinda handsome???????????#OH nooooooo#how life steers itself to the unexpectedly funny road#yuu thought she is finally normal about him#but that's exactly where it starts#god i need to finish my homework
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I'm going to be asking a lot of artists I follow this question, but how did you develop your style? It SEEMS like most people find their style and stick with it forever, just making improvements and iterations. I tend to work in a lot of different styles because I enjoy doing that, though I know there are things I gravitate towards as well. But I wonder what your journey was and how you got feedback and improved while staying true to what you enjoyed?
Hi there!
I definitely wouldn't say that I've found my style and stuck with it forever-- I feel like each of my projects has asked for a certain kind of art, and has presented new challenges that push me in new directions.
Some of that comes from seeing someone else's work and having something click into place that might fix errors/faults in my own, and then I might try to incorporate that, such as bigger outlines on my characters to help distinguish them from the background, or maybe a way someone else simplifies eyes that can help make mine look less weird.
When I first started drawing, I can see where I encountered certain influences because my sketchbooks suddenly switch to incorporating some new stylistic element that I liked from whatever I was reading/watching at the time. But it was never QUITE right, it was never just copying, there was always something ~wrong~ with it. And that wrongness was my style! As much as I hated it, that was what distinguished my art from being just a copy of someone else's. I hate it less now, and understand that other people see something there that maybe I don't, because it's just what happens when I filter other people's work through my head. My soul, if you will.
There are definitely through-lines with my work, driven by what I like drawing and what comes easily to me-- hatching is almost always a major component, and I like making expressive characters. Here's some of my earliest available stuff, from my old webcomic:
Then not long after that, I started The Last Halloween, which pushed me to challenge myself in both layout and style:
And here's the same comic, years later:
And here's a series I did for kids, where I had to use full color and lay off on the hatching, as well as learn how to reconstruct animals that we have no photo references for, which is definitely a place where style comes majorly into play, whether I wanted it to or not:
Then there was the horror book I did, where I tried to push my work to be less cartoony overall, and to work very hard on improving my hatching:
Then I started work on Scarlet Hollow, where I incorporated a limited/muted palette and had to once again push myself to make less-cartoony art, as well as learn more consistency so I could draw sprite sets. This was a big challenge for me, and has helped me grow as an artist so much!
And most recently, I wrapped up work on Slay the Princess, which required that I go back in the cartoony direction, but in a very different way than I was used to. This took a lot of sketching to figure out, and there's still a decent amount of artistic stumbling in Chapter 1 while I settled into it.
She's drawing on anime/Disney influence, but each Princess required a bit of stylistic variability. Some are more anime, while some are more realistic than even the Scarlet Hollow characters.
So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly! A person's style is often something that reveals itself over the course of their career, rather than something they choose and then try to stick to forever.
Even if you don't think you have a style, you do. It might vary a lot piece by piece, especially if you're trying to closely imitate another person's art, but the more work you do, the more you'll figure out your own strengths and interests!
#long post#my art#junior scientist power hour#the last halloween#abby howard#scarlet hollow#slay the princess#once you work long enough on art#style starts to feel more like modes you switch in and out of#all based around a core of what you're good at and what you can do#which in itself will change sometimes!#and of course your style with different mediums is gonna be different too#like slay the princess is pencil which is why it looks more distinct from my other work#never forget that at its core art is about messin around#wait shoot i should've put all this in the post#but it's long enough as it is
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not yet finished designing the others so have caine and pomni for a tadc au i thought of last night!! (they're all genderswapped cause why not) the really basic premise is that caine is being tortured by all the humans because of an incident that occurred. pomni appears in the circus one day and caine begs him for help, so he decides to help her, not knowing what really happened
#not much changed about their appearances cause of their gender#i just gave htem design changes for the au itself#the amazing digital circus au#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc au#tadc caine#tadc pomni
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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din’s champion
#tloz#ocarina of time#oot#ganondorf#din#um#ganondin#…..does anyone here ship them ha. hahaha#i mean their whole thing is funny actually because she didnt even choose him but he managed to steal her triforce and#so then hes her ‘chosen’ by technicality. but with her virtue being power it’s maybe kinda one and the same#and anyway beyond that point i feel like she loves shaking him around like a mortal dog toy#but like in some way she also must have believed in him enough to give him Power in a different lifetime. so he’d survive his own execution#i;m just saying there is so much you can interpret about their relationship. despite her being#literally an unseen 4th dimensional being who is the embodiment of power and fire and change amd earth itself etc#like what do they think of each other. what does she think of this tiny mortal who somehow stole a piece of her and now theyre bound by it#take my hand walk w me thru mortal x god hyperdimensional traumatic power imbalance situationship. and youre both girls
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DO NOT BE AFRAID
this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.
I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!
idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.
Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika
and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.
The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:
Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman
Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)
a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.
The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis
Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie
Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek
Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson
Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong
#long post#paris of troy#komiks tag#like. DISTANTLY. its#the iliad#drawing tag#listen i know it's fun to dunk on paris. but im a chronic killjoy. i know its cringe. mea culpa etc#i would love. I WOULD LOVE. to draw a comic and not have the commentary notes be longer than the comic itself#unfortunately i like to read and i cannot stop talking about things that i read. so this will not be changing.#ngl i keep hearing the last line 'my brother says you are a just judge' as 'and brutus says he is an honorable man' and that's smth for sur#god i wish this was shorter but then i remember it could've been longer bc i started drawing this while watching#some excellent korean horror but then i looked at myself in the mirror and said 'no. get your shit together.'#but that show is what sparked this. the themes. god i love shows. a round of applause for tv shows.#in a different world theres a version of me that didn't exercise self restraint and there's 30 screen caps from a horror show here too#it’s all greek to me
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Reminded again, as I periodically am, that there's a fair number of people in the fandom that think of Nott the Brave and Veth Brenatto as two different characters, and not fundamentally the same woman. In the absolute literal sense, this is false: Nott the Brave, returned to the body of her choice and using her real name once again, is absolutely precisely the same person she was before Caleb cast Transmogrification on her. This is, incidentally, one of her main sources of angst towards the end of the campaign! A part of Nott must have both feared (and, in some ways, hoped) that when she was changed back into a halfling, she would also be a different person. That the person she became traveling with the Nein would be an easy identity to shed, which she may have hoped for because it would be easier to fit herself back into her home life with Yeza and Luc--and because it would be easier to say goodbye to the Nein if that were the case. And she feared it because she liked this person she became, no matter how transgressive society would label her for it. And she loved the Nein and didn't want those feelings to be altered.
But she didn't change. Veth Brenatto is Nott the Brave and Nott the Brave is Veth Brenatto. This was always the point. That's why it's an anagram. It's just that when she's Veth Brenatto again, she is much more focused on the why of what she's doing. Why am I still with the Nein? Why am I still adventuring? Why do I have this reticence to return home to my family? Why don't I long for that quiet, domestic life the way I once did? Her emotional journey becomes intensely personal, sometimes subtly/quietly told, and wholly about what kind of future she wants for herself and how her choice could affect those around her. Her two families become anchor points pulling her in different directions and she has to deal with that. Which is a different story than what she was telling when she was still Nott the Brave. Nott's story was much simpler--I am a goblin and I hate it and I would like to be a halfling again. I would like to be able to be with my family again. It's straightforward and it's achieved! But that's not where it ends, because she still needs to figure out a real, functional future for herself once her goal has been achieved.
All this to say, I think when people say they prefer Nott over Veth, it's important to remember that you are reacting to a certain story arc for the character, not an entirely different character. It may also pay to ask yourselves why you think they're so different. Was "Nott" funnier than "Veth" to you? Does her ability to serve as comic relief fundamentally change whether you like her or not? Did you appreciate "Nott's" themes more than "Veth's"? Or did you even notice the themes being explored in Veth's later game at all?
#i'm approaching this in a two pronged way#1. gently trying to point out that they're literally the same person so you're reacting to a change in character arc not character itself#2. desperately trying not to be too much of a bitch about how reductive i think the idea of nott and veth being different fucking is#anyway veth's later game arc is so angsty and sexy it's literally a shame people don't appreciate that about it#veth brenatto#critical role#the mighty nein#nott the brave#yeah why not i'll tag them like they're two separate people. for shits and giggles i guess
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VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!
Find your polling place | Register day-of | Ready your ID | Hassle your boss for legally required time off (varies by state) | Uber and Lyft are both offering discounted rides to your polling place (and some random restaurants are offering random deals, too, I guess?)
WHY VOTE?
The Bean will be disappointed in you if you don’t
Voting for the lesser of two evils DOES reduce the amount of evil. Voting for the lesser of two evils SAVES LIVES.
^ Bernie Sanders gave a really good breakdown of this, actually.
Voting is not a choice of your personal idol, it’s a choice of who you have the best chance of persuading around to your side. It’s public transit—you don’t get exactly where you want to go, but you get close enough to walk, or at least to somewhere you can catch the next bus.
Harris has a genuinely good track record of helping the people she serves, and genuinely good goals for doing it some more as President
Trump’s most repeatedly and explicitly stated goal is to order the armed forces to persecute protestors, immigrants, journalists and his political enemies. He’s even less grounded than last time, very likely suffering dementia, and anyone from his previous administration who once restrained him even slightly is warning people that he’s a fascist who explicitly admires Hitler. Their replacements will be vaccine deniers, climate change deniers and the authors of Project 2025.
Hope alone is an act of defiance. Defiance alone is an act of hope. You WILL feel better if you vote, no matter who wins, because you’ll know you did what you could.
Also for the love of god please vote for House and Senate races, too. The Biden-Harris administration only passed the Infrastructure Reduction Act, “the single largest investment in climate and energy in American history” because they held both House and Senate AND VP Harris to break a Senate tie. Not a single Republican voted for it; all Democrats did.
And more local races, of course! They ALL have real effects!
Once you’ve voted, the Bean will be able to rest easy once more—AND so will Candi!
GO VOTE!
#natural selection 2024#america#usa#election#election 2024#Election Day#kamala harris#donald trump#tim walz#democrats#vote democrat#current events#2024 presidential election#abortion#climate change#lgbtqia#palistine#israel#economy#politics#housing crisis#vaccine#taxes#I literally worked itself into a migraine stressing about this election; please for the love of whatever VOTE IN IT
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winter assassin outfit
#zeno's art#ocs#reassassination#octavia krankenstein#oh i got a LOT to say about this one#in the comic octavia starts wearing this outfit after a certain event i think n its very symbolic#it represents mainly how her personality has changed as well as her relationship with kranken and humanity as a whole#lets do it top to bottom. FIRSTLY the mask that replaces her goggles that she wore in the “summer” outfit#the mask represents several things. firstly that octavia's relationship with kranken improved#i think the mask itself is probably kranken's and octavia uses it. showing that they've become closer#and ALSO even using a mask to hide her identity while working is in line with kranken's ideas of clothing being practical rather than flashy#(see her first outfit was originally really frumpy and practical before she DIY'd it into the minidress type thing)#anyway. the hoodie is supposed to harken more to an executioner showing octavia is more used to her job#the hoodie has eyelets which are circles. the fact that there are way more circles in the design shows that she becomes less cold#and more assimilated into human society#the gloves however are a sign of her persistent rebellion as they're fingerless and impractical lol#the pants are based off of tripp nyc's design. which was popular with mallgoths in the 90s/00s#it shows octavia's own personality and interests and of course has two hidden sets of 6's through the eyelets#lastly her shoes resemble skulls. that one's just for fun#while her first outfit completely represented rebellion i like to think this one bridges the gap between rebellion and octavia settling down#and becoming more familiar with those around her#this is only the first pass so i'll prob incorporate more red into the outfit before it's finalised#octavia isn't the only one who changes either! i want like ~3 changes for almost everyone
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Buncha little doodles from the past few days~
Including a proper color ref for everyone since I am very inconsistent with colors!
And also me testing out like?? Where would Poptart keep his sword? I tried for a belt sheath but that looked... off..... and now I am just playing with the idea that he can summon it in and out of existence whenever he pleases, so theres a really rough animation for that to get the idea down! Which I think is the idea I am going with!
#2 arms left#rottmnt#uhhh ignore the gradient on the gif#that was the only way to get it past tumblrs image filter system all nice and dashboard approved without like changing the animation itself#because out of nowhere the tumblr image filter system turned ass a few months ago and im. still upset about it
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truly a crime we didnt get to see more of Miles' reaction to Julian being augmented because I think he should've punched Richard Bashir in the face
#star trek: ds9#miles o'brien#Miles' reaction interests me the most because 1) he's Julian's best friend#and we get that part of the reaction where we see his instinct is to comfort Julian and stay with him#but we should've gotten his reaction as a dad#if im not mistaken Molly is about 6 years old at the time of the episode#Miles looking at Molly and realizing Julian was her age when his parents decided he was a failure and had him augmented#you cant tell me he wasn't horrified and disgusted and deeply deeply angry#and I think he should've punched Richard about it#hard#'what about Amsha' Keiko absolutely decimates her#Amsha is like 'what would you have done?' trying to appeal to Keiko as a mother#Keiko hits her with#'I would've loved and supported my child and I would've changed the world itself before I changed anything about them'#I dont remember if Keiko and Molly were on the station for this episode but ITS ABOUT THE VIBES
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Thinking again about the darknesses that lurk underneath the surface of Sense and Sensibility (I have talked before about how Edward despite being the eldest is subjected to what we can argue is emotional and financial abuse by his family for years, and how the Dashwood women are disinherited on a whim of their great uncle), and this time specifically about the Brandons.
We get so little about them, and what we do get about them is all bad:
This lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father... At seventeen she was lost to me for ever. She was married—married against her inclination to my brother. Her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. And this, I fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. My brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her... I have never told you how this was brought on. We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland. The treachery, or the folly, of my cousin’s maid betrayed us. I was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father’s point was gained... My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly.
Mr Brandon Sr is shown to us as being a greedy man, a bad administrator of his estate, and a cruel father. His first son seems cut of the same cloth, and his pleasures were not what they ought to have been is one of the most, if not the most sinister line between all the Austen novels. But there's more about him!:
Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. He imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief.
The Brandons were married for two years; the colonel returns to England and starts looking for her 3 years later. Young Eliza was then a 3 year old toddler. We are obliquely told that Brandon cut all ties with his brother:
It was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but I had no family, no home; and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school. I saw her there whenever I could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at Delaford.
Eliza is now 17, so the eldest brother died when she was 14, which is 16 years after his marriage with the older Eliza. In that period of time, he managed to squander the whole of her fortune, and put the estate in debt again, as we are told earlier on by Mrs Jennings:
Poor man! I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and, by the bye, I dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her. May be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be! May be his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain.”
We know the Bennets, with five daughters, and without a saving mindset, still manage to live very comfortably with 2000 a year, and if they had had any mind to save money, they could have provided all five of them with decent dowries/money enough to keep them out of poverty when their father died if they were single. It is clearly not that the money isn't enough, or that Delaford is an unproductive estate; in fact, it is described to us as almost paradisiac:
Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dove-cote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so ’tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. Oh! ’tis a nice place! A butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone’s throw. To my fancy, a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother.
One interesting character, though forgotten because only mentioned in passing, is the Brandon sister. On one of the quotes above we get that she's in Avignon for her health, and we know her husband is wealthy (and probably abroad with her) because it is his estate that the planned picnic is for:
A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water; a sail on which was to form a great part of the morning’s amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure.
It is implied that Brandon and his BIL are in very good terms (and we know he's not afraid of cutting ties with bad relatives), and one can safely guess that at the very least he cares enough about his wife as to have her travel for her health. Another guess can be made about her getting married about 10 years before the events of the book. Whether she lived at home before that, or was at school or somewhere else, it isn't said.
But this way you can feel there's a parallel in a way, between the Brandons and the Tilneys: a greedy, cruel father, a son that follows on his steps, and a younger brother and sister managing the toxicity as best they can. Talking about this with @bad-at-names-and-faces, she brought up the idea that in that scheme, Cathy would be Eliza (if it wasn't her not being an orphan, or a rich heiress, and how that connects with Austen's line about Cathy not being born to be a heroine at the beginning of Northanger Abbey). Certainly part of it is the romantic gothicness of the Brandon backstory, united with NA's commentary on Gothic tropes, but to me it drove home with even greater force how such a situation would break a man; losing Cathy that way would have definitely broken Tilney, and if we had met him 14 years down the line, would he have appeared to the unacquainted much different than Brandon appeared to the Dashwood sisters?
#jane austen#sense and sensibility#Northanger Abbey#colonel brandon#Henry Tilney#these are the spaces in the novel where you can see how Austen's craft evolved and changed#The mystery about Brandon's past works well in the context of keeping the surprises and the twists coming#but it doesn't lend itself easily to relate to the character and understand him properly#which I somewhat delusionally hold onto hope that it would have come across much better in the original epistolary form#Austen is kind of trying to pack a Wuthering Heights size and Tenant introspection levels story#into one and fractions of infodumps within her comedy of manners#And that's really A LOT to put on the plate of your first novel
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One thing I really love about Marcille is that despite her deep fear of outliving her loved ones, she never, never let's it get in the way of her making bonds and getting close to people. She loves deeply and strongly and she doesn't try to supress that! She embraces it wholeheartedly! Her friends are so important to her and she's not ashamed or scared of it!
Actually, out of all the characters, I'd say Marcille is one of the ones who care the most about bonds of friendship. She's angry at Namari for leaving after Falin got eaten and holds that grudge up until Namari helps defeat the Undine (and therefore having 'proven' herself). She's shocked and upset when Chilchuck explains his policy of payment and that he's not really here bc of friendship. She puts a lot of focus on the party being a Group Of Friends rather than a team of hired hands dedicated to the specific role(s) they are paid for. Which of course makes sense since she joined the party to begin with because of her friend! To her, the party has always been 'Falin and her brothers' friend group' rather than a hired party. (A little reminder: Marcille was the most recent member when the story starts. She never met the previous members who left so the team of Laios, Falin, Chilchuck, Namari and 'Shuro' is what she's always known it as.)
When she becomes dungeon lord, the thing that manages to snap her out of the Winged Lions grasp is the earnest care and love her party is showing her. Literally 'power of friendship'ed their way through the Lions hold and gave her her clarity of mind back.
And!!!! At the end of the feast right before they're about to attempt to revive Falin again, she says!!! this!!!!
She's ready to accept that Falin might not come back, even after everything. The entire story she's been running away from death, from having to outlive her loved ones (in this case: Falin). But here she is, ready to let her stay dead if this last attempt doesn't work.
And it's not giving up. It's realizing that she did all she could, and that it's okay. Because she still got to meet and be friends with Falin. That time with her might be just a speck in the length of life Marcille will have to live still, but it still happened and that's what matters.
It's not about escaping death; it's about cherising the moments before it.
#there is something in here about how the 'tragic immortality' trope is done w/ her#in that the tragedy doesnt lie in the fact shes denying herself of bonds bc she knows theyre temporary#its the fact she refuses to and is 'setting herself up' for repeated losses#i have soooo many feelings about her whole deal#OH ALSO. i didnt mention it in the post itself bc its not the Point BUT#i love that despite her journey by all means being about accepting the losses she has and will experience#her goal hasnt changed#she still strives for a way to even out lifespans#her friends have promised to do all they can to live as long as is possible#just so she wont be alone for as long#in a way saying that her efforts werent in vain even if there isnt any direct results just yet. that it can be possible#ooough marcille. marcille. bbygirl i love u#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#dunmeshi spoilers#like so many spoilers#xander rambles
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