#to be real though probably a lot of dead ends both ways

[hedgehogsaretheultimatelifeform]

Happy Anniversary!

Toxic!Russell Adler x Toxic!F!Reader

Ah, what's married life without a little toxicity? (Pretty good, allegedly.)

It's your twentieth wedding anniversary, and Adler seems to have forgotten all about it. However, you are the perfect match to his toxic nature, and are going to make sure that he makes up for it... and then some.

'"Divorce" and "therapy" are for normal people' - reader, probably

God, you should leave him. You should. You will, this time. You will. You won’t pick up the phone, call back the attorney’s office and cancel your appointment do discuss beginning divorce proceedings against your husband. You won’t, not this time. 

He knows that you’ve made it. Yet another appointment, with yet another attorney. You’d made sure of it, by leaving a scattered mess of business cards out on the hallway table - a fallen snow of lawyers, specialising in family affairs. Which specific one you’d ended up going to, didn’t matter. What did, is that Russell Adler knew, beyond any doubt, that you’d gone to one.

When he gets in from work (late, past dinner late… again), he sees them immediately. He doesn’t say anything to you, sat on the stairs at the end of the hall. He simply brushes them off the table, spreading them out across the floor, before walking over them as he heads for the coat rack. He changes his jacket and his shoes, still neither of you saying anything, even as you refuse to move so he can sit, which would make putting his shoes on easier.

He manages despite your cruelty, and turns to leave again, pausing at the door. Russell makes sure that you see him light up a cigarette, while he’s still inside, in your hallway. He ignores how you respond, by opening the bottle of whiskey in your hand, and tossing the lid-cork thing at his retreating back. It bounces off the hallway floor, but still stops short of the front door, now once again closed, with you left alone behind it.

You stand, finish walking down the stairs and start to drink. 

Him and his stupid fucking job. Him, and his stupid fucking devotion, body and rotten soul, to an equally rotten government. He’d sooner ball up and make love to an American flag, than he would to you.

At this point in your marriage, after twenty fucking years, there was nothing good, nothing healthy, left between the two of you. If there ever had been. Everyone you knew said you should leave - for both of your sakes. By staying, all you were doing was burning each other up, tearing out pieces of each other’s flesh, pound for pound, and if you didn’t stop now, you’d both end up dead.

The first time you’d talked about leaving him, no one had got it. They’d said, oh well, he doesn’t hit you, he doesn’t cheat on you, he gives you a lot of money, (emphasis on ‘a lot’, meaning, not as much as ours give us), you don’t have to work, you get your own house to lie about in all day; and you always complain about how he’s never around, surely that’s a good thing if you hate him so much?

That had been the only time you’d actually been serious about divorcing him. You’d ignored everyone’s cautioning about it, what it would do to your reputation, socially, how you had no real cause, that legally, you had to be able to prove fault on his side; and gone to see an attorney anyway. Then, some pimple faced, fresh out of school upstart told you exactly how much goddamn money it would cost to do that, so you’d reconsidered your options, and stayed. Over the years, the people around you saw you changing, and realised they probably shouldn’t have stopped you leaving. Most thought that they probably should have helped you then, and even though they hadn’t, they could help you now – you were in California, you could go for no fault divorce, if you wanted.

Those three words were the kicker. Because now, you didn’t. Talking divorce was an empty threat; simply your way of communicating that you needed something from him. 

It’s not like he was any better than you. He would (sometimes literally) throw money at you, then smile and pat your head, like you were a fucking dog, and the wad of notes had fixed everything. Like all your marriage boiled down to was a series of threats and exchanges, trade between two independent, completely self-interested parties that just happened to be inescapably, legally bound to each other. 

You say all that, but it sure felt good to spend it, though. And, he was a free man too. If he didn’t want to stay, he didn’t have to.

After a last swig or two, you abandon the whiskey (typically his drink) and go in search of your own, something a deal more civilised in your own opinion. It just so happened that when you abandon the whiskey, the bottle is lying on its side over the sink, all pouring out. A complete accident, you swear. 

A good, cheap beer is more your thing. Not a dirt-cheap beer, like the stuff college students pool together their last dollars for; but something that, when drunk cold, tastes decent enough by your standards, and cheap by Russell’s. Which is really the whole point. You don’t care about what you drink, just that you get drunk, and when (if) he gets home, he has to taste some ‘cheap shit’ on his wife’s lips and not complain about it. God, what about this do other people not get? How can they not get that this is what works for you, what makes you feel alive? 

You wander from room to room as you drink, upstairs, downstairs, back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room to the lounge, to your office, then upstairs again, roaming between the bedrooms, second sitting room, and shaking the handle of the door to his office - locked, like always. You leave the empty cans on the floor where you finish drinking them, only taking breaks to stare at the nearest clock as you will for time to start passing by faster. Just for you, you know? As a treat?

You get restless when you’re angry. All this energy, and you don’t know what to do with it. 

You want to break something. 

You head down into your basement, one last can of beer in hand. You open it, then leave it on the stairs as you drag out one of your most prized possessions: a cardboard box full of already damaged chinaware, that had no purpose beyond being thrown away. In fact, that’s how you’d gotten it, by persuading your neighbour to give it to you, rather than throwing it out, with some pretty story about how you made art out of broken things, (the five dollars hadn’t hurt either), allowing you to stow the unassuming box down here in the cool concrete box underneath your floors.

It was the perfect place, to take already broken shit and break it further, by hurling the chipped ceramic against the walls, and losing yourself in the body shaking laughter as you watch it shatter. After a while, you get tired of it, and sit back on the stairs, taking delight in your last, forgotten beer, sipping it slowly as you contemplate whether or not you should go walk bare foot through the mess, make him find you when he gets home, make him take you to hospital and put his lying to good use, for once, that he’s a loving, caring husband who’s clumsy wife dropped a cup and trod on the broken pieces in a panic. 

You lean against the wooden panelled wall, face hurting with the smile of how much you’d enjoy seeing him squirm under a doctor’s inquisition, only to hear the rumble of a car pulling into your drive way. 

One last swig of beer and you’re done. You toss the can across the room, wincing as it dings like a bell against the wall, then clatters unceremoniously down among the rest of the mess. You go up the stairs, two at a time, and emerge into the kitchen at the same time the front door closes.

“What time do you call this?” You pick up the now nearly empty bottle of whiskey, and turn it upright on the counter.

“Good time.” He calls back, his shoes thudding as he takes them off and drops them on the hallway floor, rather than putting them away. 

“Do you really?” You try to round the corner into the hallway, only to bump into him as he tried to do the inverse. You both stand there for a minute, then you give him way, both of ending up in the kitchen, leaning on either side of the table. 

“Yeah.” He takes the bottle of whiskey and swigs meagrely at what’s left, mouth stretched in a tight line. 

“On today of all days?”

“What day?” He glances at the calendar. “Valentine’s was last week. You making up another anniversary on me?”

“Not making it up.” You point to the picture above the calendar - the only decent photo to come out of your wedding, with the date embossed along the bottom of the frame.

“Oh.” He sips again. “We’ve been married long enough that only the big one’s matter, right?”

“It is a big one.” You bite back a smile, feeling like you just burst his balloon, loopholed his own logic.

He sighs and reached into his jacket, taking out a wad of cash. The clip scraps against the wooden table as he shoves it at you. “There.”

You scoop up the wad, shaking it back at him. “You can’t give me money like it’s going to fix this.”

“But it will, though.” He finishes the bottle of whiskey. “Go buy new clothes, a car, a goddamn house. Whatever will shut you up.”

You advance on him around the table, pulling the money out of the clip, tossing the metal pin back at him. It thuds softly against his jacket, before clattering down on the tiles between his feet. “You think I’m that easy to buy?”

You say, but you’re leafing through the notes, counting the hundreds quickly to a thousand, two, and you’ve barely made a dent in it when he sets the bottle down and advances right back at you, shoulders back, arms wide. “You’d stay for a lot less than that. This is generosity.”

He called you cheap. CHEAP! You should hit him for that. Instead, you furl the notes into a roll in your hand, and leap into his arms. He kisses you, then recoils from the flavour of your mouth, so you can chase him, and be the one to make husband and wife kiss. 

He lets that be as it may, before he’s the one to cage you against the wall; then you’re the one who threatens to ruin his beloved jacket if he doesn’t take you up to bed. He’s the one to oblige, half leading, half guiding you upstairs and into your marital nook, then you’re the one who shoves his jacket off his shoulders, tossing it onto the floor rather than hanging it up nicely. 

He’s the one to pull you down on the bed, you’re the one to rip the collar of his shirt, he’s the first to swear; you pull those fucking sunglasses off this face and toss them somewhere behind you, kissing him again, making him let you see his eyes. He responds by flicking his hand under your waistband, sliding down and cupping his hand over your cunt, grinning as he leans down to your ear, telling you that at least your body still recognises that he’s your husband. You reach up, threading your fingers through his hair, then pull, so hard he has to crane his head back, hissing through his teeth as you spit on his scar, eyes glazing as you watch your saliva drip off his chin, and not at all because his fingers are circling your clit; before he sits up, tugging your pyjama shorts down, until you lift your leg, lock it around his arm and tell him, “you first.”

He obliges, continuing your effort of destroying his perfectly good shirt, the loud tear down the front hiding the muttered comment that the replacement is going to come out of your allowance. His jeans and briefs follow, and you’re treated to the view that only you and all his fellow soldiers are treated to – a reminder that no matter what airs he puts on, Russell Adler is a man made of flesh and blood, as flawed and fucked up, if not more so, as the rest of us. Definitely a man too, the way he hides his soft cock from you beneath the bunched sheets, nodding for you to get your shirt off too, after you release his arm. 

You oblige, since he did so nicely, and he hides his groan when he sees your tits. He’s lucky to see them even once more, as he dips a finger inside your cunt, meeting your eyes as you silently mock him that, really? You think that does it?

He feeds two fingers into you, neglecting your clit as ever, other fingers scraping against your pubes, keeping any choice comments about it to himself – if he’s even got the brain space to think about it, as you see the bulge rising beneath the sheets bundled at his crotch, the prospect of real intercourse actually, finally, making you excited. 

Your cunt tightens around Adler’s fingers when his knuckles graze over your clit, before he ruins it by moving you, tilting your hips up over his knees, prodding his cock at your hole, staring you down like he’s daring you to tell him to wear a condom. 

You don’t care for that now, just for him to hurry up and fuck you - the exhaustion is suddenly catching you, and you would really just like to cum before you go to sleep. Even if you have to get up and go into the bathroom to finish the job yourself.

Though, you might not have to – for once. There’s a boiling heat inside you, coiling out from where his cock is sunk into your cunt. It has a chokehold on your lungs, making your breath stutter, the half formed words you try to make are falling apart on your tongue, your eyes glazing over as he multitasks, working both your clit and cunt at the same time (honestly, revolutionary for him, it almost makes you want to ask him who he’s been practicing on), as you cry out, his dick settling deep inside you, a smile playing on his lips when you kiss him. 

Your fingers feel the upturned corners of his lips, and you dig your nails into them as he leans over you, still determinedly thumbing at your clit even as his arm gets sandwiched between your bodies, rutting against each other. He grunts into your mouth, and it’s your turn to recoil. God, cigarettes make a man taste awful. You can’t even push through it now, not with how tight your body’s strung. He’s winding you up, like always, but with his cock, waiting for you to snap –

And you do. In your own bed, for once. He cums too, when, you’re not sure, and where, you don’t care, as long as it’s not on the sheets. It’s not like it’s staying inside you, not after you’ve peed and cleaned yourself up, lingering in the bathroom even after you’ve changed into new pyjamas, fixed your hair and brushed your teeth; before dragging yourself back to your bedroom, choosing to ignore the not so faint smell of smoke, and how Russell is closing the barely open window, as you retrieve your money, folding the stack of notes over and tucking it away into the drawer on your night stand. 

You get into bed, back turned to him as he gets in behind you. He faces you at first, leaning over the pillows to murmur, “happy anniversary,” before rolling over and turning off the light.

“Yourself.” You respond in the darkness, taking a deep breath as you close your eyes, marvelling at how that was the most civilised conversation you’ve had in years. 

You sleep in the next day. After staggering down the stairs at a time that resembles lunchtime more than breakfast time, the phone rings. 

“Hello? This is Morrison and Hamble…”

“Ah, yes.” You interrupt the secretary on the other end. “I’m so sorry, I should have called sooner. I need to cancel my appointment.”

“Oh.” She sounded surprised, but caught herself. “That is not a problem, Mrs Adler. I do just have to inform you, that due to the late nature of this request, you will still be charged for Mr. Hamble’s time…”

“Not a problem, at all. I completely understand.” You sigh, shifting the receiver to your other ear, reaching into your dressing gown pocket. “Please offer my deepest apologies to him. My husband and I sat down and worked things out.”

“Just to confirm, you won’t dispute this charge, ma’am?”

“I will not.” You pulled out the roll of ten thousand dollars he’d given you. “I realise now, that I can’t put a price on my marriage.”

“Ah… that’s good.” She sighs on the other end of the line. “If that’s all then, Mrs Adler, I’ll let you get back to your day.”

“Yes, thank you. Again, I am sorry for not calling earlier.”

“Not a problem, Ma’am. Have a nice day.”

Click.

Normally, you’d be writing a complaint in to the firm, about the lack of friendliness in their customer facing staff. Today, however, you had ten thousand dollars in your pocket, and a window in front of you that looked straight out straight onto to your deck. Sorely old, in need of replacing. Improving, might be a better term. A covered deck, maybe a linen tent, or a pergola covered in clematis. Whatever you wanted, really. Those were his words, exactly. Or, mostly. In spirit.

And, you wanted a goddamn deck.

Make a great story to tell, when you’re hosting this summer; that it’s the deck that saved your marriage. 

You trample down the hallway, trying to remember where you left the phone book, suddenly reaching out for the wall when you stepped on something sharp. 

One of the business cards from yesterday. You sigh, and stop to pick them all up, straightening the bent corners before tucking them away in a mostly even bundle, ready and waiting for when you would need them again. In a month, three, six. Whenever you get bored of your new deck. 

[lokh]

its sooo fun how dungeons reveal the psyche of the dungeon lord like. thistles dungeon was so planned and meticulous but so full of ghosts and unravelling at the end. mithruns dungeon was apparently so convoluted and 'made out of jealousy, lies, anger and inferiority'. marcilles dungeon was like.... that lmao, everything being brought to the same level with no real regard for what that might do to the ecosystem, and laios' dungeon ultimately ends up spilling out onto the surface. becoming one with it you might say

anyways if you were a dungeon lord what would your dungeon look like

[winwintea]

dreamies meeting their kid for the first time + as a parent

GROUP ↬ ot7 dream x reader (ft. their child)

TAGS/WARNINGS ↬ some angst, LOTS OF FLUFF MY TOOTH IS LITERALLY ROTTING, spider-mark agenda is real, the child is sometimes a cockblock, haechan does some weird michael jackson-sherlock holmes roleplay idk it made sense in my head, jaemin going on shopping sprees, chenle never loses, ji... is ji.... (poor baby)

AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ everyone say thank you to @https-lvesick for getting me on that baby fever stuff... like i hate children but i love children. iykwim... anyways this is meeting their kid for the first time, but i can't come up with reasons why they were separated so you fill in the blanks. probably angsty reasons i love angst.

Mark Lee

when you come back through that door with a child holding your hand, it’s him you meet first again, and the tears are already glossing his eyes over before you can say anything.

literally has no words when you smile at him gently, saying it’s his.

mark swallows nervously, before making his way to the both of you, holding the two of you in his arms for only god knows how long.

“i.. can’t wait to live my life with you both, my love,” he mumbles into your hair, ears slightly tinged, only causing you to laugh at his adorable antics.

as a father, he isn’t very strict, and he isn’t all that good in child-rearing, either.

but he tries! give him some slack — you have to keep reminding yourself of this when you see your child holding a sword?! 

and of course mark was in his halloween costume. typical.

“baby.. i can explain,” mark says calmly when you first find the two of them

well actually, three; it seems haechan was in on this little practice, though he quickly bolted when he saw you. good strategy.

“엄마, papa said he was iron man! he teached me how to be a superhero!” your child exclaims, flailing the sword around excitedly as your gaze only darkens.

“well, you see, i meant spider-man, but—” his words die down when he sees your unimpressed face practically dripping with murderous intent.

mark slowly kneels down to whisper something you couldn't make out to your child. the little one nods seriously, slowly putting down the weapon.

then, as seconds pass, mark immediately hoists your child up in his arms, running out of the room as both his laughter and your child’s squeals echo throughout the halls.

“mark min-hyung lee, you are so dead!” you scream, running after them.

“3, 2, 1 — I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY!” the two of them scream back, before bursting into laughter. they’re always in sync. It’s exasperating.

but you love it anyways

Huang Renjun

when you meet him at the door, there's a flurry of emotions clear on renjun's face, but his smile says it all.

“is it too much to say i’ve been waiting for you this whole time?”

regrets the fact that he wasn’t able to be a part of his child’s life for the first few years, literally becomes wrapped around your little one’s finger because of it.

so adorable and happy that he’s blessed with your lovely child, always smiling when he thinks of them.

literally makes the other members question whether or not they want a child too.

bonding time is painting of course!

usually ends up with all three of you cramped in the shower, you scrubbing furiously at the sticky paint on their skin.

“i’m sorry for having you do this all the time,” renjun's soft voice makes you forget why you were mad in the first place tbh.

massages your shoulders from behind you, causing your fingers to halt in their journey of rubbing some stubborn blue paint off your child.

“it’ll take more than that if you wanna make it up to me,” you hum, leaning back into his chest and gazing into his eyes.

your lips were just about to meet, when —

“ma, i'm not clean yet!”

damn. cockblocked by your own child.

you groan, renjun laughing as he picks up the pouting child with their arms crossed.

“don’t give 妈妈 too much of a hard time, okay?” he never forgets to take care of you above all.

Lee Jeno

when you walk through that door once more, nervously telling jeno that this child is his, you’re afraid of his reaction.

and when you finally gather the courage to do it? his jaw drops and he can’t stop staring at you nor the child and you have to help him sit and calm down.

“아빠?” your child asks, staring up at the still slightly panicked jeno as you hold your breath.

he stares for a moment, mouth wide, before finally, finally smiling, albeit a little awkward and rough around the edges. “yes, little one?”

very new to this whole parenting thing and can barely do anything without asking you first, so he feels bad quite often for having to lean on you so much.

plus he barely knows how to handle a sobbing child, nor can he entertain the child very well,

but you find that the both of them are quite content in each other’s presence as is. so that's a plus !

you'll usually find them in jeno's room together, while you need jeno to watch your child while you go out for an errand or something.

but when you see jeno, well, he starts to look ethereal as the sun shines through the windows in his room.

then, a gentle smile gracing his face as he stares at his sleeping child.

jeno utters your name, causing you to look up, only to find him tracing circles around your child’s soft skin. “딸,” he rasps out, cracking a bleary eye open and gripping their wrist softly. Then, he smiles, all sorts of soft and lovely and.. unguarded.

“You two.. are the best things that have happened to me.”

Lee Donghyuck

haechan tries swallowing back the lump in his throat when he sees you standing in front of that damned door, though to no avail as a tear slips.

starts full-on crying when you say that you’re back for good and that the child is his. it's okay, let it out hyuck. <3

“ah, crying like that on our first meeting… don’t you think your fath — i’m a bit embarrassing?” he asks, sniffling as he tries to muster a smile through his tears.

your child giggles, eyes crinkling while grinning. “no! mommy told me a whooooole lot about you, daddy!”

you have to intervene at this point to stop him from sobbing again.

haechan wastes no time in making up for what he’s missed, so he's definitely going to spoil this child every second that he can.

you’d always find the two of them either going out shopping or messing about at home

also probably just chilling in the comforts of his room, doing god knows what.

one day you were curious, so you peeked through a tiny crack of the open door.

genuinely concerned at what you saw.

was that a... trenchcoat on your child? the two of them were engaged in conversation as haechan started nodding with a serious look on his face.

“so, mj, do you think waffles make mummy happier?” your child asks, holding his magnifying glass up like a mic in front of haechan's face.

mj???

haechan strokes his chin for a moment, before answering, “seeing her reaction when we gave her the ones we bought yesterday, i dee-hee duce they do, sherlock!”

sherlock...?

“good deduck – deduction, mj! i thought so too.”

you can't help but snort as haechan grabs his crotch and poses while high fiving your child.

as stupid as this was, your heart literally melts. the two are far too cute for you, you having to calm yourself before walking in with the widest smile on your face. dorks. 

Na Jaemin

“i was hoping you’d be back, my dear.” his perfunctory smile is so smug that sometimes you just want to punch him in the face. “with a lovely little thing in hand.”

“Your lovely little thing,” you say gently, trying to ignore your anger. you were here to show your child to jaemin. jaemin looks at the two of you with surprise, the curves of his mouth inching upwards.

hey jaemin wasn't trying to be possessive... cause that's weird. but the way you emphasized the word 'your' made his breath hitch. we can unpack that later though.

for now, na jaemin is a certified sugar daddy

jaemin is wrapped around the little one’s finger, his rotten spoiling being the effect of not being in your child’s life for a good while, and, of course, his indispensable regret for having you come back to him.

you asked jeno the whereabouts of your lover and your child, only for him to give you the look, responding that they were out yet again, and are probably not coming back without a few shopping bags in hand.

okay something needed to be done about this. so you decided to conduct a harmless experiment.

placing a few coins on one side of his desk, a toy in the middle, and a beloved fruit on the side. after explaining to him that it’s to see what your child’s fate would be — picking between fortune, fun, and, well, snacks, you think — he simply leans back, interest shining in those eyes of his.

but your child pushes all these away in a second, opting to hug the wide-eyed man on the soft armchair behind the desk.

“and what.. does this mean, ma chérie?” fuck him and the words he's picked up from traveling abroad. but jaemin looked honestly confused as his hands slowly wrap around your child’s.

you smile softly, “isn’t it obvious, silly? the little rascal loves you more than anything.”

he laughs. he doesn't get it. preparing for yet another shopping spree. why do you even try at this point?

Zhong Chenle

oh my god. when he first sees you after years with a child, his child, grasping your hand, chenle has to literally take a quick second to calm down cause he’s so angry.

no, not at you, of course, he would never. but at himself.

he wasn’t there for his child, for you, and god, even if he were, would he have been a good father?

“Y/ — 甜心,” he starts, running his fingers through his already messy bed-head hair and staring at you with eyes that practically scream "please hug me, i'm insecure"

“how am i supposed to take care of a child when i couldn’t even take care of you?”

but don't worry, after many reassuring words and warm hugs, chenle's finally okay and back to his normal self, holding your child up and giggling.

maybe this was a wrong idea cause now you have to take care of a manchild and a child.

is surprisingly very gentle with your child because he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. (just because he has a nephew does not mean he knows how to parent a child.)

also very grounded and doesn’t fall for cute little tricks as much, so out of the dreamies, he’d end up becoming one of the better fathers.

also cause he never loses. and no way is he gonna lose an argument with a child.

“不行。” “爸爸, pleaaase?” “no. 不可以。”

chenle seemed to be holding a chocolate bar high above his head, steely gaze fixed on your young child trying to ignore their pleading puppy dog eyes.

“妈妈��� no chocolate, right?” your heart warms when you realize he remembered you scolding your child yesterday, though you can’t help but to feel a little bad.

“chenle,” you say, both their heads turning towards you. “how about you give the little baby some chocolate and we can eat the eggs i just made in the kitchen?”

the way both their eyes shine almost identically is so fucking adorable.

Park Jisung

??!?>!?!>?>!?@#?>(*#(@*(*#!?!@?

“that’s… mine??” “what?” “… it?” “it?” “the.. child?”

actually malfunctions.

jisung is very flustered, for lack of better terms. he was always considered the baby maknae of dream, but his own child? lord, help him.

you... him.... the baby... it or they.. came out of you??? what.

gets awfully flushed whenever he’s carrying his child around the building. everyone tries to stop and coo at the baby, + chenle and haechan have decided to make his life a living hell cracking up jokes whenever they can.

jisung is surprisingly good at getting your chaotic child to sleep with his bedtime stories, which are usually all his big yap sessions.

“and did daddy get that bruise on his forehead because he slipped while chasing uncle chenle and uncle haechan?” you question the two of them, wondering what they had been talking about earlier.

your child nods, bright eyes sparkling and grinning, “아빠 also said, ‘get back here, you devilish imbeciles!’”

oh fuck.

your accusatory gaze turns towards jisung, who averts his eyes, holding an ice pack to his bruising forehead, trying to shield himself from possibly getting more bruises.

“i-in my defense, they were—”

“one more time, park jisung, and i’m changing their legal godfathers to the two imbeciles you love and appreciate so so much.”

his eyes widen in shock, “you wouldn’t.”

“try me.”

now jisung is a grumbling mess when the two idiots are around his child, but the lack of chasing them around can be counted as an upgrade, i guess.

TAGLIST ↬  @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct @peterm4rker

[bluebugjay]

A lot of people aren't vibing with Charles and Crystal's romance and honestly i think it's because it's not necessarily supposed to be a full-fledged, endgame romance.

I think it's written to be a fling.

Charles is a flirt; one of the first things he thinks about when Edwin tells him ghosts can't feel is that he would miss kissing, he says himself it's nice to be seen by someone his own age, he calls Crystal fit, etc. Assumably between cases he has a very small social circle of literally just Edwin so it makes sense that this girl who he gets on with and finds attractive immediately becomes a bit of a crush for him.

Then Crystal picks up on his flirting almost immediately, again they get on, etc. She says if he wasn't dead and she wasn't dealing with the aftermath of her toxic relationship with David he would be a good addition to her body count, i.e. just a fling. She doesn't say they'd date or she could fall for him just that they'd probably hook up.

Their first kiss happens when they're both dealing with some heavy stuff, Charles is angry, continuing to push down his trauma with his father and his past, Crystal is annoyed about not being any closer to getting her memories back whilst trying to deal with the trauma her last relationship caused her. They find comfort in each other in that moment. Crystal says she wants something real and the care they have for each other is real, there's no manipulation, no secrets. It's honest and it's innocent.

The song that plays in that scene is called Young Blood (White Sea Remix) by The Naked and Famous and has lyrics such as 'we're only young and naive still' and 'can't help myself but count the flaws, claw my way out of these walls, one temporary escape' and 'we lie beneath the stars at night, our hands gripping each other tight, you keep my secrets hope to die' - It does align with the idea that they're what each other wants in the moment, a distraction, to be able to pretend everything is normal and ok (keep each others secrets)

Crystal in the next episode, the next morning after their kiss, literally calls Charles a 'cute distraction' and says they should be friends. This time both of their issues and trauma are the reason for them not continuing the relationship. Blatantly, Crystal isn't ready for another relationship so soon after David, she wakes up with a nightmare about him and Charles. They bring up Charles fighting the Night Nurse and Charles says that he thought they were on the same page about it and 'at least that's how it seemed last night' which again leans into the fact they were both looking for comfort. Charles and Crystal kissing had nothing explicitly to do with her supporting his actions fighting the Night Nurse and yet that's how he took it because that's what he was searching for comfort from and acceptance on. Which is most likely why he seems to take the rejection harder than Crystal, seemingly agreeing to be friends more out of respect for her choice than the want to call it quits himself.

Charles tells Edwin later on about the kiss (right after Edwin is complaining about having to cancel plans with Monty) and says though he didn't physically feel it, he did feel it 'up here' and points to his head. The mind is generally not the place you feel love, I feel that's a given. (reminds me of the starfish on the beach that Niko says are in love, Edwin points out starfish have no brain and Niko says love doesn't require logic, meaning: love is not stored in the mind.) Charles and Edwin's conversation veers off to being about there own relationship, with Charles saying he wouldn't want to be dead with anyone else - not even the girl you just kissed? No? Ok.

The way that episode goes (The case of the two dead dragons) Crystal and Charles end up arguing about the very reasons they decided to not continue their relationship. Crystal likens Hunter and Brad to David, and Charles defends them saying not everyone is her demon ex-boyfriend which seems like he's projecting and really defending himself. Then Crystal calls him out on his 'rage problem' and what happened with the Night Nurse. So though they comforted each other the night before, their real feelings for each others issues are surfacing and they're not so on the same page. Of course they get over this and apologise soon enough. Though in the end, it's Edwin Charles opens up to and actually talks to about how he's feeling rather than pushing it aside and looking for a distraction. And after that, Charles gives Crystal genuine comfort not just a distraction by listening to her talk about her nightmares/visions about David. (immediately followed by the scene of Edwin and Monty on the swings in which Edwin suggests they don't see each other anymore, then back tracks, they kiss followed by rejection which definitely has... parallels)

After that, Crystal and Charles are still an obvious source of comfort for one another, they talk to each other about their stresses, they stick close together a lot of the time but there's nothing inherently romantic to their actions aside from the fact we know they have kissed which gives their actions a depth that, for example Edwin and Niko's don't, despite them also being affectionate and spending time together alone.

Then in the last episode as Crystal is attempting to leave for London, her and Charles share another kiss. When she tries to say bye to Charles, he says it feels like a 'good-bye good-bye' rather than a 'see you back in London good-bye' and Crystal doesn't correct him, essentially confirming it was supposed to be a forever goodbye. She instead kisses him. It's a good-bye kiss. A (supposed to be) final kiss. A 'we had a good run' type of kiss. Crystal kisses him because she thinks she'll never see him again. It's similar to the first in which the kiss itself is the beginning and end, and it doesn't mean much past that. It's a kiss as a secret again, like their first kiss. A kiss to fill the space left by things they don't want to talk about. She doesn't want to admit she's planning on leaving for good so she kisses him instead, it's a comfort and it's a distraction. (and its consistent)

When Crystal decides to stay in the end, Charles says it'll be great, then specifies that 'solving cases together' will be great, not anything else that could of implied. Which could either be them just being awkward, or a flip in their dynamic that now Crystal is the one more involved in their relationship and Charles is the one setting boundaries.

Overall I think they have a really interesting dynamic. They are exactly what each other needs in moments and then the opposite in the next, they care about each other so much yet are possibly the people that unearth each others insecurities and traumas the most. They're both looking for a new, different kind of relationship and find it within the other but inherently once the novelty fades they fall more into being friends than anything more. I think like most of the relationships in this show, they're supposed to be complicated, they're supposed to be more of a journey than a destination. They learn and grow from their interactions together and I think that's something really beautiful.

[aether-bun]

Dating headcanons for dead plate Vince and rody??? (Seperate)

DEAD PLATE BOYFRIENDS!!

Ok. Ok. The chokehold these two have me in is something that needs to be studied actually. Utterly thrilled that I get to write for them. Thank you so much Anon.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Talks of aggression, NSFW if you squint

Reader is gender neutral ♡

VINCENT is subtly affectionate being your boyfriend.

I think it's obvious that Vincent is very cold, inside and out, even if it isn't intentional

Little does the outside world know, however, he's very affectionate with you!

Behind closed doors, he finds small ways to be in contact with you

Knees touching, pinkies grazing, shoulders bumping, the works

It's not that he's afraid or repulsed by full on affection, it's just more comfortable for him to act the way he does. It means he can recharge without being away from you, but without overwhelming himself

I think he's a very big fan of chaste kisses, or at least giving them. Whenever he receives such rushed notes of affection, he refuses to admit it, but it leaves him with a sense of yearning :(

Adores hand kisses holy shit

I like to hc that he has a little lemon tree somewhere that he takes care of with such enthusiasm it's wild

The one thing you can't touch in his apartment is that tree. Hard boundary.

When he comes upstairs after work, he's usually very tired

This means that you both tend to just quietly enjoy each other's presence until he falls asleep in bed

Some days he's REALLY tired.

One of the chefs fucked up a batch so badly that it pushed service back by an additional 40 minutes while he had someone run supplies

It cost him a lot. That chef was brutally torn into and promptly told to never come back. Very unprofessional, but no one would say much about it.

Very exhausting lesson in hiring better employees in Vince's eyes.

That night he just laid down on your thighs and ranted. He doesn't tend to talk much for too long out of personal preference but that night he couldn't shut himself up.

You just gently combed through his hair and listened

The sensations soothed him and he got over the anger fairly well

(now he lays on your thighs some nights just to score some extra nice attention)

Dates are always very lavish, it's his personal favourite thing to spoil you. He always has a hand on you during outings of any kind.

Will pull you closer if anyone stares at you.

Gentle with you, in every possible situation, but firm

He really just doesn't want anyone to hurt you, but on top of that, he couldn't bear the ache he'd feel to see you look at someone else the way you look at him

Slut for calling you "Mine". End of discussion.

RODY is hellbent on giving you the whole world.

Loves loves LOVES cuddles

You cannot get this man off of you he is so clingy

He wants what's best for you and more this man will break limbs for you

I will say you were probably originally going to be a rebound relationship

After Manon, he found you, but it had barely been a month and he was clearly desperate for love

He was honest about Manon and the recent breakup, and in turn, you were honest about your returned feelings for him, but you very firmly said he'd have to move on first

It took a long time. You waited.

When he did get better, you two hit it off! He cared for you and you looked out for him

Your dates are walks through the park, café breakfasts and movie nights

Rody is a big fan of kisses

He kisses you and you can feel his love pouring through them, he deepens the kisses like he's starved, even though you're more than affectionate with each other all the time

Service top or complete bottom. Not because he's dainty bc he definitely isn't. He just loves you so much he wants you to have everything. He lives to serve you at this point let's be so real

Learned how to budget for you!!!! Whoa!!!!!!!!

I think Rody dances with you all the time

Rain or shine, dawn or dusk, happy or sad, he finds it nice to dance with you

It calms him

He gives the BEST MASSAGES IDC

Butterfly kisses and nose kisses are this man's kryptonite. He will cry. He has before.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey!!!! Sorry for the random hiatus, life killed me a little, but I'm back and raring to go! Dragon Anon, if you're reading this, I am working on your req but I'm making sure I actually know the DLC this time so it's taking a while to get through the content. Bear with me!!!

Sorry if these were a little sloppy, getting back into writing is a lil difficult but I'm working as best I can. I hope you enjoyed, and remember to leave your requests in my inbox!

Ciao for now~

[ooffmlsorry]

Dancing with One Piece Men

ACE

The only one on this list that can actually dance or at least has a real sense of rhythm I'm so sorry

He's not shy about dancing either

Is shy about slow dancing with you in front of people, that's just for yall

Loves dancing with you during celebrations on the ship!!! HE WILL LITERALLY GRAB YOU FROM YOUR SEAT AND SWING YOU AROUND

His joy is your joy and vice versa and will keep you laughing the whole time

Gets really close to you, especially when he's drunk, like noses almost touching

Did I mention spinning?? He'll spin you around and around until you're both dizzy, flushed and sweating and then wobble over to a seat with you to recover and laugh with everyone

LUFFY

Have you ever seen the OG Disney Jungle Book movie? Remember the orangutan? Yeah? That's how Luffy dances. Lots of arm swinging and shimmying

Doesn't mind dancing but like...food first

Man, all that dancing worked up an appetite! Time for more food!

You might have to see Chopper the next morning because of how much he pulls your arms while dancing your poor shoulder joints lol

So unserious about it so there's no reason to be self concious because Luffy's already acting a fool enough for both of you

You both end up falling asleep wherever you are, completely tuckered out. Zoro will inevitably have to carry you both to bed except Luffy's hand is still holding yours so you're definitely sharing a bed

SANJI

Okay, but the hilarity of trying to grind up on this man? He'd die. Cause of death: blood loss lol. It's okay, he's had a good run

He's such a romantic, I think he'd actually prefer to slow dance with you and is kind of bummed it's a party

Would definitely inspire him to slow dance with you more

Holds you really close

Hands on your waist or lower absolutely lower

Can't actually dance though and looks incredibly goofy, as long as no one says anything zoro it'll be fine

Can dip you though and it's really hot

You probably don't dance for very long because he's a horny gremlin but you love it

ZORO

"Pleeeeaaaassssseeee"

"Over my dead body, y/n"

There ain't no way you're getting this man to dance

Pulling him off the wall or out of his chair is like trying to pull a mountain from it's spot

Will tap his foot though

Really likes watching you because it's hot and because you're happy and let's be honest Zoro wants to see you happy

You're the best view there besides the sake

Make him jealous and dance with another guy? Well, y'all won't be at the party much longer because you're fucking in the bathroom

If hell froze over and you did get him to dance it's so stiff and terrible you burst out laughing immediately

LAW

It's only because he loves you that he shows up at all, dancing is pushing it

Dance on him and he will switch himself with a chair at least he won't let you fall on your ass

You can try pulling him up but you won't get very far either. He might swing his arms with yours lamely but that's it

He will slow dance with you alone in his room or the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning and actually really likes holding you close

Dancing is so foreign to him and it shows lol, you got him to dance once in private because you were insanely curious and Law genuinely has no memories of ever dancing in his 26 years of life and uh...he kind of dances like Wednesday Addams but it's cute to you

He'll dance with you in private now but it has to be a very very special circumstance

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

[kiennjio]

Significance of Shiraishi An's WL chapter

Now that the VBS WL event is out on EN, I can finally post my thoughts about it. This is a summary with additional commentary, so it won't make much sense if you haven't read the event story yet. I'm going to skip past the start of An's first chapter because I've talked about her issues with Kohane before here, and I don't really have much to add.

At the end of the first chapter, An hears a voice singing which is revealed to be Nagi's, and she appears as the Nagi An remembered as a child―specifically Nagi in her prime. As we all know, Nagi is dead and the person that An sees is just an illusion made out of An's feelings, just like everything else in Street Sekai. In some ways, this Nagi is a ghost, and even though An realises that and is afraid of ghosts, her first reaction isn't to run away, but to chase after her (a detail brought to my attention by @ oblivioniis in this post).

Yet, no matter how fast An runs, she's unable to catch up to Nagi. This could be because An views Nagi as someone who's unreachable; even though she has made the decision to surpass RAD WEEKEND and go beyond Nagi's dream, An thinks her goal, and hence Nagi, is still way out of reach and near impossible. And because she feels this way, the Sekai also reflects that by making ghost-Nagi always a few steps ahead of An, always in sight but never close enough to touch (just like how the large wall represents RAD WEEKEND).

However, when An screams at ghost-Nagi to wait for her for once, she actually stops. At this point, An's feelings of Nagi being unreachable is being overshadowed by her desperation to talk to Nagi again, and hence those feelings are what made ghost-Nagi stop walking.

Despite overcoming her fear of ghosts because of her love for Nagi and finally being able to catch up to Nagi, An finds that she doesn't know what to say. An never got the chance to say goodbye before Nagi's death, and she definitely has a lot she wants to tell Nagi (the reason why she chased after ghost-Nagi in the first place), but she's probably too overwhelmed by the fact that any of this is happening at all.

Then, ghost-Nagi pats An's head, imitating what she did when An ran away as a child (which we saw in Vivid Old Tale), before she disappears. I'm guessing this happened because that moment is important to An. That was the day An realised that everyone in Vivid Street truly cared for her, that the people she loved also loved her back. Patting her head was Nagi's way of telling An that she loved her without words.

Afterwards, An hears the song that she sang together with Nagi, and by hearing the voice that she has been working to surpass all this while, she's reminded of something. She declares that she'll catch up to Nagi and go past her.

🎧: I'll catch up to you soon! I'm gonna come charging towards you! And I'm gonna fly right past you. So... You better be ready, Nagi-san!

An promised to surpass RAD WEEKEND and go beyond Nagi's dream with VBS, and even if she thinks that's impossible, she will continue working towards it and definitely achieve it in the end. When she was a child, RADder had broken their promises to her multiple times, and because of that, An is someone that will never break her promises.

I think it's interesting to note that ghost-Nagi had not once said anything in the event except sing. It could be that An has forgotten what Nagi's voice actually sounds like except for her singing, or that An doesn't know what the real Nagi would have said to her then, so ghost-Nagi never actually spoke.

This WL chapter is my favourite because it explores both An's resolve and gives An and Nagi's arc a somewhat more proper ending compared to Light Up the Fire. It also really shows the potential of Sekais, where feelings alone can make a dead loved one appear. There are still a few more things I hope will be explored in the future, but I think this is really good.

[multiheadcanons]

RED/BLU DIFFERENCES

scout: blu’s scout is the original scout that red’s scout was extracted from. blu’s scout is slower to confrontation and fight. doesn’t mean he won’t, just means he won’t immediately jump to solving things physically. blu is more perceptive, and curious. it gets him in trouble. red’s scout is a problem solver, not a problem finder. explosive energy. blu takes a minute to get revved up. they find a slight rivalry between each other; but they mainly wonder who came from who, and what came from where.

soldier: blu’s soldier is the original that red’s soldier was extracted from. blu was quite literally a perfect soldier before this. he’s quieter with the existence of his counterpart. does a lot of thinking. it makes him an effective and ruthless battle planner. but he can’t help but hesitate on the field. especially seeing himself. he just can’t separate himself from the other. he can’t separate any of the men in his battalion from the enemy. they’re exact replicas. it takes too much brainpower to not treat the enemy as his friend, and his friend as the enemy. he ends up secluding himself.

pyro: there’s no real difference between the two, even if you squint. they both get along just fine. nobody knows which came from the other. they will both live their lives once this is over. there’s just two of them out there now to keep track of. neither one of them has warned the other about the steadily building case file against them both. and they both keep adding to their growing list of legal issues. so if one gets caught that one’s getting the whole reference section of the library thrown at them. the other will come to save them though.

heavy: red’s heavy is the original that blu’s heavy was extracted from. it took something from him. he doesn’t know what. he feels fine, generally. but the sun is colder. he feels the wind chill faster. laughter is not as filling. he is not as fulfilled. something is fundamentally different. it is missing. blu’s heavy is like… santa but violent. dudes never had a bad day in his life. any day he gets to take a life is a good day to him. every day is a good day to die.

demo: red’s demo is the original that blu’s demo came from. he lost his drive. red’s demo is more than willing to laze a day away, and finds himself seduced by the drink more often than not, but when he gets his head on his shoulders, he feels pretty okay. smart, hardy, perceptive… enough. blu’s demo is almost as sensitive as his bombs. he’s itching to move, to go, to get the jump on the red team before they can get the jump on them. he drinks to slow himself down. he’s trying to learn to stop and think, it isn’t easy for him. he doesn’t know why.

engineer: blu’s engineer is the original that red’s engineer was extracted from. blu’s engie is a very serious person with a lighthearted tone. red’s engie is probably one of the chillest guys you’ll meet with an iron grip of control on every facet of his life. the only other way it can be described is red engie is never worried, because red engie has singlehandedly controlled every facet of his environment, down to the particles of dust. blu engie can’t even find the will to make moves like that anymore, and ends up laughing at the things he can’t change, or can change with immense effort. at the end of the day, they are both mad scientists. red engie’s evil laugh pitches up. they’re gonna let each other live, but they’re settling who gets to take the name dell conagher with a fight when this is all over. they planned, separately, to kill each other in that fight. time will tell who gets to be the dell conagher and who ends up the dead conagher.

medic: red medic is the original that blu medic was extracted from, and blu hates red for that reason. understands in all senses he just… is the medic. he looks like him, speaks like him, got his name. he’s got the same memories up until the split. but it was like the red doctor removed his conscience and built the blu one out of that. blu medic sits with so much guilt. and an insane inferiority complex. he doesn’t want to be the blu medic, he wants to be the medic. as opposed to red’s medic, who doesn’t even consider his blu counterpart as an actual living being even though he created him, so by that stance is the medic. blu’s willing to kill his counterpart to become the only dr. ludwig. he likes to think he’s better than the red medic because he feels bad about the horrible things he’s done, he claims he can’t help his nature. red medic laughs because if all that separates them is guilt, then is his blu counterpart really all that better? blu goes by fritz because he hates the name herbert. blu hates a lot of things about himself. and his counterpart. he’s got a lot of big dreams that require the disappearance of the other to set into motion. and while that may not have been in red’s plan, herbert doesn’t care what fritz does. he hasn’t felt this light in decades.

sniper: red sniper is the original that the blu sniper was extracted from. a lot of snipe’s humor left him when he woke up from the operating table. nothing was nearly as funny as he had felt prior. it took him a while to get jokes again. and blu sniper is just a guy but different. likes his job, does his job well, actually a generally very easygoing and accepting guy. honestly pretty goofy. red snipes has a lot of questions before he’s willing to accept answers. they will kill each other on the battlefield if the opportunity presents itself. otherwise they’re actually pretty cool with each other! they go out and say they’re twins. easier than saying “yeah i got a free lobotomy and the doctor and his engineer friend grew this out of the removed grey matter.”

spy: the blu spy is the copy of the original spy that the red spy was extracted from. the original blu spy died in the procedure. just flatlined after anesthesia was given. the respawn machine hadn’t been activated yet; and medic had a dead body on his table that he did not plan for. it had been a while since he had dealt with that. it’s a big reason medic no longer uses anesthesia on the mercs. nobody actually got to know the original spy that had signed onto the team as a mercenary. but between his two counterparts and the son that survived him, we get a pretty good idea that spy was a charming, cunning man with selective empathy and a brutal tone. the red spy got all of the charm, the blu spy got all the empathy, and they are both quicker than a whip, mentally. love playing mind games with each other. medic and engie didn’t feel a need to conceal from them that neither of them were the original, like they did with the others, who’s source material was still alive. they showed them their host corpse in the morgue. explained what happened. said at this point, they could be anything they wanted. it’s what the original has always been best at. they both found niches in the team they had the means to fill and filled them. neither one has reached out to the original spy’s family, or families. they will probably never do so.

[thatkippycat]

Asmodeus x Fizzaroli x Publicist!Reader Poly Headcanons

Hehe I made more stuff, because I'm feeling good today! Hope y'all enjoy! Also feel free to start sending requests in again!

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• There's a lot of rumors going around that the Prince of Lust himself has been all cozy with one of the Lust Ring's top performers, so it was only natural that you would end up getting a job to "make things right."

• Afterall, you were one of the best PR people in Lust, why wouldn't you get the job.

• Maybe that's a bit egotistical, but there's a reason for it.

• You can spin stories better than most demons, even covering up a handful of true stories.

• You've worked for Leviathan, a number of Goetias, and even the Morningstars.

• Being hired by Ozzie and Fizz was a lot more work than you expected, though.

• Not only did you find out that they were together romantically, meaning that you'd need to keep the secret as hidden as possible, which was difficult when they decided to be sweet "behind closed doors."

• Dealing with the servants who had found out was a blast.

• (That was sarcasm, btw.)

• On top of that, you also began to develop a whole range of feelings for the both of them as you became a part of their lives.

• Turns out those feelings were somewhat reciprocated.

• After a few months, the three of you came up with the best plan you could.

• A lot of the controversy was directed more at Ozzie, as he was the one big on carnal desire over romance.

• Fizz was not as big of a deal.

• So, you and Fizzarolli began to "date."

• There was definitely some push back, but it was a decent success.

• A couple of public dates, love letters, and pictures taken by paparazzi(you, actually) later, and things were relatively calm.

• It wasn't a permanent solution, though, so you set to work on a separate project...

• Making the Lust Ring cool with Ozzie and Fizz's "non-existent" relationship.

• It did take a while.

• Scratch that, it took way too long.

• Turns out most people in Lust were actually okay with it, it was the press and other rings that were the problem.

• The other rings of Hell would take far too long to deal with, so you set your eyes on the newspapers.

• Lots of papers in Lust are actually sponsored by either Greed or Envy.

• Greed goes where the money goes, so theoretically, if the tabloids and rumors weren't as profitable, they may drop those stories.

• That left you with Envy, which had always been a pain for you.

• While Greed takes the actual newspapers, Envy picks up the cheesy tabloids. It's less about making a profit and more about making people feel terrible, especially when it's something the writers and bosses don't have.

• Luckily, you still had some good will with Leviathan, and so you doubled down on getting the stories stopped.

• You still were working with Asmodeus and Fizz, and even though you weren't in a real relationship, Fizz was getting worried about you overworking yourself.

• They both were, actually.

• You were dead set on this going, though, so they couldn't talk you out of it.

• They took the next best thing, though, forcing you to stay at their very luxurious penthouse.

• You even slept in their bed. If you wanted to, that is.

• You probably would've picked up on the fact they were trying to romance you, but alas, you were too focused.

• It took a long few months of persuasion, company scandals, bribes, and an unhealthy amount of blackmail, you got most of Lust on board, at the very least.

• And when you told them, they were thrilled!

• You organized a little interview with a local news channel (the host owed you, after all) and they finally came out as a couple.

• When you were asked about, you were expecting Ozzie and Fizz to tell the truth about your fake relationship.

• But they said you... could be a part of it for real?

• Yeah, they asked you out on TV, and you accepted.

• Even if the pressure from the show wasn't there, you would've said yes anyways.

• Your final task for them was getting an article in a paper out, talking about how beautiful Fizz and Ozzie's relationship was.

• And now that the job is finally done, you can cuddle up to your new boyfriends without a care in the world.

[angermango]

"I'm not cooking or anything, this is just a silly idea- (looks down at canvas) ffffuuuu--"

...

so, first I only wanted to draw Professor Layton with a Reiterpallasch from Bloodborne because haha funny hat man with gun-sword, but then i ended up drafting concept art for "Laytonborne", apparently.

"Puzzles all over the shop... You'll be stuck on one of them, sooner or later."

extra artist commentary:

Layton

yes, this really did just start with me wanting to give Layton a Reiterpallasch because he's a canonical fencer and Bloodborne trick weapons absolutely slap. The Reiterpallasch is literally a rapier with a pistol attached that can mechanically switch to prime either the blade first or the gun first so you can stab and shoot someone at the same time.

Giving Hershel the Bloodborne makeover was kind of funny because he wears such a simple look in canon it was hard striking the right balance between his recognisable look and BB aestheic since Bloodborne loves embellishment especially via lots of belts/buckles and those weird shoulder-cape things. I tried to keep it simple enough though because as much as i think he could pull off a hunter ensemble i don't want to have to keep track of all the funky bits. the Top Hat Stays, of course.

Aurora

Aurora is eerily good a fit in a Soulsborne-esque setting considering she fits the criteria for a "Soulsborne maiden" classic archetype sort of character: After all she's a mysterious pale-haired young woman with mystical origins/powers and a foreign-sounding accent and may or may not have some connection to the wider lore and powers that be of the setting. hell even her whole thing being a golem works in a way as even Bloodborne has artificial humans existing as a concept.

i got a little lazy with changing up her dress for both time and lack of inspiration. I thought maybe i'd really do her up but then I chickened out that her costume wouldn't be recognisable any more so just slapped a belt and some patterns on the shawl bit and called it a night :P (if i'd been braver/more motivated she'd probably look good in an approximation of the White Church set, something like that)

and yeah so as the sketches off to the side are like, no real clue how/why it might be triggered but imagine her having the potential to be an optional boss or something (and she'd whoop your ass)

Flora

idk tho Flora also seems like she could be a good contender for the "Soulsborne maiden" position too in a way, or even if not her whole character and story fits into the world quite well. especially with Bloodborne having the Plain Doll who is a sentient doll made in the image of someone her creator loved/was obsessed with and Flora living in a village of human-like robots which started after her father tried to build a replacement for her dead mother.

Her dress is a combination of all her canon costumes across the games. The fur-trim shoulder cape is from one official art of her, the short shawl and white sleeves and bit around her waist is based on her first dress, and the rest of the dress design is based on her second and third game appearance.

The 'Doll Flora' concept there at the end is just some idea of a false/clone Flora running around as well. She's got some little differences including elements of other parts of Flora's designs over the years that aren't on OG Flora, such as the sash and shoes.

Anton

Anton fits in scarily well to the Bloodborne-y setting, perhaps not too surprisingly given the whole 'vampire' thingy. I sort of envision Folsense and Herzen Castle being a bit like the Castle Cainhurst area of Bloodborne which leans more into the classic gothic horror of a remote and looming haunted castle occupied by a sinister enigmatic character.

And yes, that is a reference to the infamous "LAYTOOON" scream from his canon 'boss fight' in the second game - imagine the whole steaming up and screaming thing being like his boss phase transition animation.

The whole 'withers to an old man/husk' concept seems so very Soulsborne-y it really just fits yknow. like if you defeat him he shrivels up/ages to dust or whatever. RIP gassed-up grandpa.

I partly rizzed up his suit using inspiration of the Cainhurst Knight set because like. come on. it's too good to pass up the chance to pretty up with and looks a lot like his canon suit in parts.

Did I trace the foyer background art for Herzen Castle for the mockup just for laffs, only to realise partway that 1) Layton and Anton actually fought in the ballroom, and 2) the ballroom would actually make a much better boss arena setting because it's wide open and the arch from the front room leading into the ballroom could totally be the 'boss fog door' part better than the front room?

...so yeah I then drew the ballroom background without tracing this time like a true madman and had a hell of a time with perspective but the plus side is we also get the sword collection from the game there as a cameo because in Laytonborne the good professor brought his own already.

The Masked Gentleman / Randall

Had a bit of a time deciding how to Bloodborne-ify this guy because his suit in canon is actually really. really boring. it's just a white suit like cmon. so to give it that Bloodborne makeover I fell back on the classic shoulder-cape thing that almost all Bloodborne characters have, added some patterns and accessories based on the Mask of Chaos' patterns and the Decorative Old Hunter's set from the Old Hunters DLC (in the leg brace, forearm guard and the hints of gold chains around the upper arms).

He also gets a Threaded Cane, another trick weapon of Bloodborne fame which is as it suggests: A cane weapon that works a bit like a baton/sword combo but in its alternate form it's a whip covered in serrated metal blades which form the cane itself when locked together.

It seems very appropriate for Randall to be like a boss who starts out as the Masked Gentleman and then at half-or-less health you break his mask, reveal Randall and then wings burst out of his back as he enters his second phase rage mode. This concept part felt more DSouls-y than Bloodborne-y to me i think since Bloodborne is less fantastical and leans more into the body horror/monstrous kind of boss transitions? But at the same time it was too good an opportunity to pass on at least sketching out, plus get you some sick fallen angel imagery out of it.

Also the hanging arm pose miiight be a bit inspired by Artorias of the Abyss. just a bit.

Descole

i recall seeing a post somewhere once with this very low-res rare art of Descole sitting in a throne from somewhere i have no idea what it was for. and I remember it kinda reminded me of Lady Maria's promotional art for the Old Hunters DLC so that's why the last picture of Descole exists.

mf already dresses so extra i legit could think of nothing to add to make him more Bloodborne-y unlike the others. I also used his canon sword's design from the games with a custom sheath because again couldn't really think of anything more to do to make him fit more when he's already got a cool signature weapon to show off.

[paingoes]

Crash Out - Love

(Content: fever, drug mention, bruises, discussions of past abuse, guilt)

He was in and out of sleep for a long time. He remained supervised. They didn’t trust him with as much rope as he could hang himself with. 

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

“Did you scavenge that off a corpse?” he asked.

He had meant it as a joke.

He got the distinct sense that he had killed something beautiful. Like setting a butterfly on fire. Had she been changing all this time?

And yet she didn’t leave him. She changed all the time, but that didn’t. Over the border was still the goalpost. CTRL sheltered them at most stops. She’s their own now, of course she can stay. He offered what he could — intel when he had it, labor when he didn’t, when his body allowed him to. Sometimes he merely slept, looking sheepishly at the night guard for the time they were both wasting.

The border was a stone’s throw away and she wanted to make one last stop. 

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

She had an eye for it more than he did. He’d have followed her up into the mountains and along the frozen stream, walked the whole length of tundra ten time over. Anything. Lorelai pulled winter weeds out from the ground to press into the journal she still carried. Small, living things dashed across the dead-land. Foxes and rabbits. Owls and swans. Living things, not so unlike them. Hot blood flowed through all of them, proof they still existed. Alive.

It was her idea to break into the cabin, which to him did not seem very altruistic, but he had no better ideas. Luckily enough, it was empty, seemingly abandoned for a time. They’d get better use of it.

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

A real one, this time. Not induced, not even dopesick. An honest to god fever.

Paris stood up blearily, feeling some of the heat recede when he’d detached from her body, but not much. It was still bright outside, something to do with the equinox. The sky was an odd, soft color. It was freezing out, which felt nice against his flushed skin. Lorelai groaned slightly from the bed. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself before she shuffled over to the door. At that point, he’d already stepped out.

Paris was on his knees in the snow. He pressed some of it to his face, still appreciating the contrast between the cold and the burning. It felt nice. It was strange, the things that felt nice to him now. As the last dregs of the drugs cycled out from his body, he found pleasures unmuted in their absence.

“You okay?” she called from the doorway. She was barefoot by the entrance, where the carpet was still warm.

He nodded, though he probably wasn’t. The fever was cooking his brain. 

The blanket hung off her bare shoulder. He hadn’t seen it as well in the dark, but the bruises marked her skin just as much as the love bites. She’d been busy. She’d been through a lot.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” he blurted out. He’d been meaning to say it for a while. 

“What?” She blinked. “I wanted to come. This was my idea.”

“But you didn’t know what you were getting into. I didn’t tell you anything. It was taking advantage.”

“Did you know?”

He shook his head

“I knew it would be bad. I didn’t know it would be like this.”

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

“I don’t understand you.” he said. He couldn’t fathom the thought of anyone staying with him by choice. If he could’ve left himself behind, he would’ve. He’d have done it in a heartbeat.

“What part don’t you get?” she asked. It tickled him how annoyed she sounded then. Like her clarity was being taken for granted. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

“This?” he laughed.

“Not all of it. I never wanted you to get hurt, Paris. I just wanted us to get out. I didn’t know how hard it would fight to keep you.”

A pause. She said:

“I had fun, though. Is that horrible to say? I had fun. I don’t regret it.”

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

When he didn’t answer for a while, she sat down on the wooden steps. The blanket shielded her from the cold contact. She lit up a cigarette, holding it delicately between her lips.

Another pause. He said:

“…You know I couldn’t have let him go, right?”

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

“I couldn’t just let him go,” Paris said, because he had been thinking a lot about it. “He was too dangerous. Nobody would ever let that kind of power live in peace. He would have always be wanted, always somebody’s captive. He never could have had a happy life. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. But its true. There was never any hope for him. The kindest thing to do would have been to kill him.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

“I know I didn’t have to treat him the way I did. I’m not saying anything about that. But yeah. I never could’ve let him go.”

Clearly.

“I don’t know. That’s beside the point, now.”

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

“Why did you treat him like that?” Lorelai asked, leaning forward slightly onto her knees. “…You didn’t have to.”

It felt like being stabbed. But it was a miracle he’d even avoided the question for this long. She’d been patient with him, endlessly. He could afford to be honest. The fever would make it so, regardless.

“I was so angry,” he admitted.

“All the time. At everything. I couldn’t stand it. I hated my life and I hated myself. I still hate myself. The only reason I had to live was to try to keep empire running — and I didn’t even want that. It felt like the whole place was fucking diseased. There was this rot at the center of the machine. He was just the worst of all of it, the worst thing it had ever created. It wasn’t his fault. I know that, it wasn’t his fault.”

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

“It just became a habit, after a while. It started with just…punishment. Then it was just because he was there. Because I could.”

He was acutely aware of how cruel the word punishment sounded in his mouth. He was aware of how absurd it was, without any of the false authority he’d once put behind it. Who had he thought that he was? He’d never had the right.

He forced himself to look up at her, scared as he was of what he’d find. The scars of his body ached in the cold.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

~~~~~~~

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen @sir-fenris

[indigo-casson]

something that i've been thinking about lately is the parallels between star wars: andor/rogue one and tamora pierce's trickster's queen duology. primarily because the star wars brainrot is real and the tamora pierce obsession is forever, but also because they are kind of both tonal and thematic departures from their main 'verses in some similar ways?

in both the star wars verse and the tortall verse, the majority of the media has focused on one individual (or a small group of individuals) who make a profound difference in the world. Whether that's alanna singlehandedly finding the dominion jewel/becoming king's champion/making way for female knights, or luke skywalker blowing up the death star, or daine and numair going to the divine realms during the immortals war, or anakin skywalker becoming a sith and dooming the republic, most of the original material has seen battle and political change as something that is affected by either an actual chosen one or simply a single very plucky and well-placed individual.

trickster's queen and andor, however, really look at rebellion as something that has to be done by a diverse group of flawed people who work together despite their differences. mon mothma knows that her role is raising money. ulasim, chenaol, and the other members of the raka conspiracy each take their individual roles in the rebellion, and recognize that even though they might not want to work with aly or the luarin nobility, they need their skills and influence to make it happen.

both stories also show rebellion as extremely costly and something that requires making tough calls. nobody has their hands clean by the end of a civil war. notably, trickster's queen explicitly narrowly avoids having the protagonists kill a group of 5 year olds. luthen is ready to kill cassian when he becomes a liability, and cassian does kill lots of people, including some allies whose only "crime" is being susceptible to giving up rebellion secrets.

in rogue one, we don't like davits draven because he orders jyn's father killed, and that just feels wrong. jyn is our heroine and it upsets her, so emotionally it's distressing. but of course, draven and cassian and jyn are all working towards the same goal. draven did what he had to--galen erso is a liability as long as he's alive. dove and sarai's little brother elsren has to die because he's a direct heir to the throne, ahead of his sisters. it doesn't matter that he's five and totally innocent. as long as he lives, a luarin has a greater claim to the throne than a raka, and as long as that's true, the rebellion can't succeed.

in the star wars original trilogy, people for sure die! i'm not trying to say that they don't, but it's definitely not something that's shown affecting our protagonists on a deep, emotional level. they're all side characters, or else they come back as force ghosts. the prequels are uh. fucking tragic, but at the end of it, almost all of our heroes make it out. even the casualties of the war are droids vs clones, which is to say, totally interchangeable cannon fodder on both sides!

the number of character deaths in the tortall 'verse is fewer, probably because it's primarily created for middle grades, but even when people do die, they're either demonstrably bad people or minor enough characters that the emotional resonance isn't the same.

by contrast, at the end of trickster's queen, almost the majority of the main conspirators die in battle, not to mention those who don't even make it to the final conflict. at the end of rogue one, all of our heroes are dead, and people aren't exactly making it out of andor s1 in good shape either. more than half of the aldhani team dies on that mission.

I could go on further, but I think my main takeaway is that once you've invested a lot of time and attention and fandom into a 'verse, you have a lot more leeway to tell different kinds of stories. tamora pierce could not have written trickster's choice until after the values and world of tortall were so clearly established, and if she had, it wouldn't have had the impact that it did. similarly, part of what makes rogue one/andor so striking is the fact that it is such a departure from the preexisting values and story format of star wars.

for every chosen one we see in media, there are hundreds of people working behind the scenes to make their big, death star destroying moment possible. the only way to improve society is through collective action, and part of that is that everyone's hands are going to get dirty. i think lots of people want to imagine that they could be like luke skywalker and swoop in 2 weeks before the battle of yavin and become a hero, but the fact of the matter is that that's not how the world works! war requires us to do things that would ordinarily go against our values, but in the context of a drawn out, bloody, thankless battle, maybe we decide the ends justify the means.

[crystallizsch]

Trouble? You're only in trouble if you get caught. So don't let me catch you ~

uhhhhh say hi to jamil and yuusha's kid jas(mine) pt 2 (also here and here are like my only two other posts of her)

HFDDF OKAY SO - i actually had these unfinished sketches from months ago of jas as a nrc student and scarabia housewarden

this sneaky little bastard (affectionate) had never left my cranium she was just sitting idly by

im sobbing i hate jas so much (lie i love her)

jamil and yuusha still aren't supposed to have a kid so i just imagine this to be an alternate timeline for them 🤧🤧🤧

soooo info dump time ---

━━━━━━✦ scarabia housewarden nrc jas

jas has a vice-housewarden who is her childhood best friend (figuring out if i want them to be twst rajah or abu)

also thinking about if i want yuusha to be a staff member in nrc with grim or just dead during this time (why? just because)

no further info tbh, scarabia housewarden jas is just vibing

━━━━━━✦ child jas stuffs

i'm SO indecisive about her design as a toddler/preteen lowkey 😭

she was very sweet as a toddler but somewhere along the line she just became more carefree and chaotic

jas is a mama's girl but is more alike with her father than she cares to admit

octavinelle trio and heartslabyul duo + grim are like the honorary uncles (jas's favorites are floyd, ace, and grim bc they sometimes enable her with shenanigans)

even though jas has favorite uncles, najma is the favorite favorite. i imagine she's just the cool aunt

if mama yuu is "shrimpy" then jas is a "tiger prawn" (bc rajah)

jas LOVES doing people's hair including her own; would rather do them by hand rather than by magic

jamil showed jas how to breakdance once and it became ingrained in her personality ever since

(there's probably still more about her that i'm forgetting but this is it for now)

━━━━━━✦ bonus future jamiyuu stuff because i miss them

jamil took yuusha's last name surprise surprise (if they get married)

i imagine after nrc they'd be travelling together actually, not necessarily settling down

(i'm REALLY not 100% on them settling down and having a kid but i still love jas a lot so im so conflicted) (that's why aus exist 😔✨)

(and if hypothetically they do settle down i think yuusha being staff in nrc with grim + maybe jamil who travels for work (or being a house husband??? maybe they alternate roles) can be adorable ideas)

━━━━━━✦ (i also had this thing that i never posted about that one trope of a fankid finding themselves in nrc bc of portal/time/mirror shenanigans)

(jamil found both of them asleep somewhere and refuses to wake them up)

also some bonus tidbits about this scenario with them:

💜: Is she a family member of yours? How'd she get here?

🐍: I have never seen that child in my life before now. And there's no way I could have missed news about a new relative of mine.

💜: You know how ridiculous it sounds if she's related to me. I'm not from here. She even looks more like you!

🐍: Jas has the same color of eyes as you. Didn't you tell me she mistook you for her mother?

💜: ...Yeah, but I don't like what you're implying.

🐍: Well, I'm not exactly happy with this either.

they're just both in denial of the implication of this child existing and neither of them is saying it out loud.

and the angst/wholesomeness(???) of jamil asking jas's full name and hearing that she has her mother's last name instead of his

eventually they grew attached (unfortunately) until somehow they send jas home to her original timeline

and then they finally have a real conversation about what all that was about

anyways thank you for reading if you've made it this far;;; end tweet

[anonymous-dentist]

What I find interesting about this idea that qBagi put forth in regards to qJaiden and Bobby is that. Well. I don’t know if that’s how Jaiden works.

Empanada is an absolute sweetheart for already caring so much about Jaiden despite not having met her yet, and I don’t blame her for not knowing anything about Jaiden because, again, she’s never met Jaiden.

And then, of course, Bagi is being optimistic for her child’s sake, but it’s here that you can really see just how little a lot of the islanders know Jaiden at all.

None of Empnada’s mothers were there when Bobby died. None of them know about Bobby Fields. The only one Jaiden is remotely close with is Mouse, and Bagi doesn’t really trust Jaiden at all because of her connections with Cucurucho and the Federation.

All they know is that Bobby died several months ago and that Jaiden seems to be doing just fine. But then you look at Jaiden telling ElQuackity to spawn kill her, and Jaiden not visiting Bobby’s Castle or his city or his tomb, and Jaiden borderline avoiding Roier, and you start to realize, oh. She’s not doing well.

There’s this misconception among all the islanders that Roier and Jaiden have moved on from Bobby. Roier has Richarlyson, and Jaiden… doesn’t. Of course, any Roier Viewer knows that he’s never actually recovered from his son’s death, and any Jaiden Viewer knows that she’s never going to recover. Not at the rate she’s going with all this self-sacrifice and self-loathing and everything.

Bagi hasn’t seen Bobby Fields. She doesn’t know that Jaiden’s actual home is a building stuck in time with a table set for three and rooms upon rooms filled with paintings done by her dead son. All she knows is that Jaiden seems fine enough, just like Roier, and Bagi’s never actually been able to understand Roier when he’s told her “This island has broken everybody on it, especially me.”

This kind of trauma is something Bagi and most of the other islanders could never understand; the closest people would be Slime and Mariana- but they have a version of their daughter back- and then Maxo, who’s dead. The idea of losing your child forever is something entirely foreign to most of the island. Everybody knows that the eggs can die, but it hasn’t happened since Bobby’s death, so a majority of the islanders haven’t had to say goodbye the way Roier and Jaiden and Slime and Mariana and Maximus and Quackity did.

Jaiden hasn’t babysat any of the eggs since Bobby’s death. She’s helped others babysit, but she’s never looked after an egg by herself. She’s a lot like Roier, who didn’t trust himself to take care of another egg until just before Richarlyson’s disappearance and who still considers him a bad enough father to take out his frustrations on his mini-him Pepito. But, unlike Roier, she’s been alone this entire time. It’s just been her and Foolish and Cucurucho. She doesn’t have the same kind of support network as Roier, and he’s stuck in the past even with support. Imagine how she’s doing.

Bagi and Empanada are right, Empanada won’t replace Bobby. He can’t be replaced. But what they don’t seem to understand is the possibility that she can’t replace Bobby because Jaiden won’t want to take care of another egg. Sure, she probably will, but only because she has this complex about being inconvenient, and she’ll feel real inconvenient if everybody pressures her into taking care of Empanada the way they pressured Roier into taking Pepito on Tuesday.

Both Roier and Jaiden have lost so much, but only a select few know what they’re going through. Roier has Cellbit, and Jaiden has Foolish. Outside of them, though?

Remember, only Bad and Cellbit went to check on Roier when Bobby died. And only Roier ended up checking on Jaiden. And yet the world has decided they’ve moved on without even asking, and their assumptions might end up getting Pepito and Empanada hurt in the long run.

[swordandscytheandpen]

Finished Guide. I have thoughts.

Mostly positive ones. I have nitpicks, sure, but it's damn near impossible to write a fully satisfying resolution to a three million word story. EE did an insanely good job considering.

Akua was one of the highlights, of course. Her arc was indeed probably the single best redemption story I've ever seen. The pivot in Praes, in particular, was amazingly compelling ("why was she not hearing the song?" hit me HARD). @kvothbloodless once responded to my tags while I was in the middle of Book 2, assuaging my skepticism that a character as remarkably hateable as Akua could have a well-executed redemption arc, and I gotta say her confidence was well-placed. It's a testament to EE's character writing skills that a character who is not only morally monstrous but immensely personally unlikeable could be turned around like this. I'll make fun of Guide's length, of course, but I don't think an arc like this could be handled so well in a work of reasonable length. It's a strength both of the writer and the medium, I suppose.

Her final fate, like most of the cast's, was a pretty solid conclusion to her character arc as well. Really followed through on the narrative's refusal to entertain redemption through death, while still being a surprise, unlike the whole Dead-King's-jailor thing. The dynamics of that particular fate on her character had already been explored through her and Cat's thoughts several times, so it's nice to see something different, instead of just watching the original plan play out with rings instead of a crown.

Same goes for a lot of the other characters. Viv and Indrani had excellent conclusions. Masego and Hakram I'm not dissatisfied with, though I do have minor points of umbrage. Hakram's arc might just have gone past me a little bit; I feel that if he has to be tied so tightly to the Clans as a whole he really needed more foreshadowing connecting him to his home. Instead, it felt a little bit like a family-conquers-all story shoved in with only justification in the moment, which ain't really my cup of tea. More specifically, it felt like the narrative required him to have deeply-held goals that he could go be independent about, but forgot to actually touch on those goals until he'd already left Catherine. Still, just a mild disappointment.

Then we've got Masego, and my take on him is similar in that it's broadly satisfying but I just feel like it doesn't fit in certain ways. In his case, it's mostly the apotheosis: the edges of that particular puzzle piece seem rough, as if EE had something else in mind but swapped it out relatively late in the process. There was some hinting that his dream of godhead would result in conflict with Cat, and then they just... didn't do that. Then in the epilogues, it really seems like his apotheosis hadn't made much impact on who he is or what he does. His part of the epilogue would have been just as suitable, to my eyes, if he hadn't achieved that. So it fell flat a little bit, which took some of the wind out of his ending. Everything else about him was great though.

Catherine's ending took the longest for me to think through. At first I was a bit ambivalent about it, 'cause it felt like nothing was really subverted. Minus a few hiccups, she got everything she wanted. Cardinal. The Liesse Accords. Even all the Woe surviving. The only thing she didn't get was Akua, and she already knew that wasn't on the table. I really just did not expect a straightforward Catherine Wins ending to the Guide. I thought she'd probably die at least; in fact, I thought the most likely outcome was Cat's death and her goals being posthumously realized! This story sure felt like a tragic ending was coming down the pipes!

And then once again, I remembered that this is a story about stories. What Cat has isn't just a happy ending, it's one last victory over the narrative. It's a middle finger to the idea that villains don't get to sail off into the sunset. And you know, it really takes some strength to put a fresh coat of paint on the very idea of a happy ending. So yeah, Cat's ending is great. Just perfect.

But of course, there's no way to wrap up three million words while satisfying every single plot point. So, keeping in mind that APGTE is probably among my top 5 written works in the English language now, I do have a point or two of order.

First off, towards the end, Named were dying like flies. Felt like every chapter had a list of casualties all its own. And I can see the drive to do that; there were a lot of Named involved by that point and there had to be casualties. It keeps the stakes high and the villains scary. But I can't help but feel discouraged from reading once six characters I'm somewhat engaged with die in the span of two chapters. Mostly offscreen.

The biggest offender here was the Painted Knife's band. I really loved the bonus chapter about their backstories, as well as the concept of them as the first band containing both heroes and villains, and I'd wish we'd seen nore of how that relationship developed. And I thought it was a weighty enough label that they'd shot up again later. So when it was mentioned offhand that the Royal Conjurer was killed, I was blindsided a little bit. And then the rest died, one by one, offscreen (except the Knife). Poor Poisoner. She was my favorite. Felt like wasted potential, like a story that wasn't followed through to the end. The Blade of Mercy was in a similar boat. He was important in the Arsenal arc! Let him die onscreen at least!

There was Roland too, who wasn't as bad. His death wasn't really satisfying, another surprise Hawk casualty, but at least it was shown and meaningful. Still, I feel like he deserved a proper character arc outside his backstory. Poor guy.

A couple other deaths, too: Rafaella and Alexis in the fight against the Dead King. Rafaella was ambiguous enough that I really wasn't sure whether she was dead for a while, and even after... I dunno. The hero who killed Captain needed a stronger resolution than "sacrificed herself to get rid of the Dead King's last line of revenants." Then Alexis's death just wasn't meaningful; it wasn't for anything. And I know, I know, that's not how death works, but it is in stories! Didn't feel right. It was too fast.

But the Keter deaths were really my biggest gripe, and if that's the biggest problem I have with a conclusion to a story that long? I can only offer applause.

You know what death I didn't have a problem with? Hanno, in the epilogue. How the hell do you kill a character that major in just a few sentences and make it feel satisfying? The epilogues were just all-around great. The character deaths and resolutions felt natural, plot points that were touched on in the main story were shown to ultimately be left to the next generation, and the continued history and development of the world made it feel so alive. It's a common sin for characters to create a new static world that's supposed to feel like it'll last forever. And sure, the framework of the Accords are kinda like that, but the rest of the world? There are still wars, still conflicts, still upheavals. (The Republic of Orense was a nice touch in that regard.) The epilogues are nearly flawless and I will stand by that.

Last thing - of course I gotta talk about Anaxares. When Yara dropped him into the Serenity, I was pretty hyped about it. But then... I dunno. It turned out a bit flat. Felt less like the culmination of Anaxares's character and more like a plot device to cross the Serenity out of the equation. At the end of the day, with Anaxares sitting in the Serenity through the final battle and then appearing in the epilogues just to pop up years in the future, cause problems, and run off again, he felt weirdly like a sequel hook? And forgive me, but I'd eat my hat if there's a sequel. I guess it's imagination bait, which is certainly preferable to a poorly-executed conclusion. He's still my favorite non-Cat character. If there's any decent fic about him, please give it.

Speaking of, that's all I've got. Looking back up, this was mostly petty complaints, but I wanna be clear: once the first few books were past and EE broke their worst writing habits, this became one of my favorite writing pieces ever. The length and the proliferation of typos and other errors mean that I'd hesitate to fullthroatedly recommend it to anyone, but it's one of those works that has permanently altered my brain. Good fucking book.

Okay, Pale Lights time. Hopefully I'll catch up before Book 3 comes to an end, but I'm not gonna rush. Rapidly chewing through ridiculously long works is not, I have learned, conducive to getting the most enjoyment out of them.