#to be fair I only watched the show in full once 2 years ago but the one thing that really bothers me

[sadgirlautumn]

As much as I love Gilmore Girls I really wish I could rewrite it because so many choices the writers made me like why would you do this????

[azucar-skull]

H(a)unted

(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @lavadragon365)

Fandom: Rise of the TMNT (Post movie)

Prompt: Halloween, the one night a year where the boys can go to the surface without hiding from humans.

Word Count: 1919

---------------------------

The single greatest day of the year! Right next to the Lair Games, Thanksgiving, and his birthday. There’s nothing Mikey loves more than Halloween. But what makes Halloween so special?

Is it the spooks? Hell no. Mikey detests the idea of horror and blood, and pizza supreme forbid…ghosts. Is it the free candy? Mmmm… Mikey can have as much free candy as he wants with the power of his puppy dog eyes and the fact his brothers and he have been stealing for food to get their groceries. It’s much easier than you think.

So what is it?

The costumes. Or better yet, the lack thereof of needing one. This is the one time of the year that Mikey gets to walk the streets freely with his brothers and get to just…be. And Halloween is now just around the corner and Mikey just can’t wait to—

“We’re not going out this year.”, Donnie spat when Mikey strided into the kitchen and showed his brothers the layout they should take for trick-or-treating.

“What?!”, Mikey squawks. “What are you talking about, Dee?”

“Donnie’s right. It’s not safe, right now.”, Raph chimes in. “The invasion was only 2 months ago. Streets are still being prepared, everyone is still on edge, and not to mention that EPF guy is still after us. We gotta lay low.”

“But for how long?! We’ve been cooped up in the same smelly old subway lair for weeks and I can’t take it anymore, I think I’m gonna just explode from pure boredom!”, Mikey groans in annoyance. “Pretty sure I remember Donnie saying something about how box turtles hate captivity.”

“Hey, don’t twist science against me, Michael.”, Donnie points a finger.

“What if we wore disguises?”, Leo suggests. “I mean, everyone else is doing it. We can just hide in plain sight.”

“The whole point of this holiday is that we don’t have to!”, Mikey stomps his foot against the ground. “I’m tired of hiding! I just want to be me!”

The others are quiet. They look away, frowning in their own volitions. Raph sighs, putting his foot down.

“Sorry, Mikey. Maybe next year.”

Mikey balls his fists so tight that his knuckles turn white. He turns on his heel and storms out of the kitchen, hurrying back to his room before his brothers could see him start to cry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The evening of Halloween arrives and Mikey’s so-shell feed is full of people out and about having fun. Meanwhile Mikey is stuck in his room, stuffing his face full of whatever last-minute Halloween candy bag was left at the store. It’s not fair. He wants to join the fun. But his brothers don’t want to go.

…

Wait, so why doesn’t Mikey just go by himself?

Shit, why didn’t Mikey think of that earlier? He can just head out, have his fun, get some candy, and come back as if nothing happened. Sure, his brothers will be mad that he snuck out, but once they see that everything’s fine, they’ll be the ones who are jealous that they didn’t get to go. Yeah, that’ll teach them.

So fuck it! Why not? Mikey springs out of the hammock, yanking the pillowcase off his pillow and heading out the door. Now he just needs to get out of here without anyone—

“Mikey?”

Mikey quickly bolts, using his ninja prowess to wall jump up and hide in the support beam on the ceiling. Talk about reflexes, huh? He spots Leo hurrying over to his room.

“Mikey, look, we’re sorry we can’t go out this year. I know you’re pretty bummed about it.”, Leo calls out as he peers into the room. “I-I was thinking we could watch a Halloween movie? Doesn’t have to be scary, we could binge some of those stop-motion ones you like. …Mikey?” Leo looks around the subway car before walking back out. He looks around once more before leaving from whence he came.

Phew, that was close. Mikey hops back down before scurrying off in the other direction. He makes his way through the sewer tunnel entrance, dashing through the waterfall before it could soak him. Then he heads up the abandoned subway stairs, towards the sounds of laughter and screams. And the streets…

The streets are beautiful.

Filled with people and creatures of all different shapes and sizes. A crowd flock down the street, cheering as they show off their creations. Little kids run around coated in blinking lights and glow sticks to help them find their way in the dark. Orange lights decorate the streets and balconies of apartments. A chilly autumn breeze shakes the withering colorful leaves on the trees as the smell of sweets flood Mikey’s senses. And just as he expected, no one bats an eye at the peculiar orange turtle. For he is right where he belongs.

“Hey, love the costume!”, a purple skeleton smiles with glowing yellow eyes and wearing a grim reaper outfit.

“Thanks! You look cool too!”, Mikey beams back.

“Just an FYI, the large candies are almost out. So you better get to it.”

“Got it! Thanks for the tip!”, Mikey nods as he heads off towards the richer neighborhoods.

Door after door, Mikey is met with smiling, welcoming faces instead of horrid and wary ones. Showered with compliments and pinching on the cheek from old ladies instead of avoided like the plague. His pillowcase begins to fill more and more, heavier and heavier. He hoists the bag over his shoulder like a candy Santa Claus as he makes his way to the next house. He spots a little girl up ahead wearing a dinosaur suit with a tutu, happily skipping down the block when a group of older teens on their bikes stop in front of her and yank her Halloween pumpkin bucket out of her hand. They dump the bucket in their backpacks before tossing the empty bucket at her head and biking away. Mikey scowls at the teens, inconspicuously getting out his nunchucks and whipping it at the bikes, causing them to crash and knock over.

Mikey rushes up to the now crying little girl. “Hey, dinosaur ballerina. What’s the matter?”, he asks softly with a smile. He reaches into his pillowcase and grabs a handful of his candy. “Here, you strike me as a Reese’s gal.”

The little girl wipes her tears. “I like the almond coconut ones.”

“You mean Almond Joy? Yuck! Who likes Almond Joy?”

“I do!”, the little girl pouts, crossing her arms.

“Well here, you can take mine. I’d be more than happy to get rid of them.”, Mikey obliges, picking out as many Almond Joys as he can find and dumping them into the girl’s bucket.

The little girl smiles as her bucket fills up as well as her heart. She lurches forward, latching Mikey’s leg in a hug. “Thank you, Mr. Turtle.”

Mikey smiles warmly, patting her head before the little girl takes off and waves goodbye.

And Mikey continues his hunt. Next house, then the next, then the next. The orange setting sun fades as the sky becomes coated in pitch black. House lights gradually begin to turn off. Children head back to their homes, tuckered out from the excitement. Now it’s just the older kids scraping what they can before the night is over. Mikey scrapes what he can as well. As luck would have it, his brothers would steal his candy out of pettiness. So he has to get extra.

He takes a scenic route back to the lair, giving him time to snag a few more pieces of candy. But up ahead he sees flashing red and blue lights. He looks up as sees a few costumed teens talking to the police. Of course, those teens probably got into some trouble. Mikey should probably steer clear of them, he thinks as he starts to cross the middle of the street.

“I mean yeah, we saw a few dinosaur costumes.”, one of the teens comments.

“No, no, turtle. Kind of looks like a human?”, a man’s voice presses. “Surely you spotted one?”

“Oh yeah, I did.”, another teen points out. “It looked sick. Almost like CGI.”

“Where?”

“I dunno.”

…Ohhh shit. They’re talking about him, aren’t they? Mikey peaks behind him at the police and spots one peculiar man among them. A tall man with pale skin, sleek black hair, wearing a tux with sunglasses (at night??). The one and only. John Bishop. Bishop has been after the turtles for a while ever since footage of them fighting the Kraang got leaked all over New York. Donnie tried to wipe as much data as he could, but even his hacker skills couldn’t outsmart the clever and cruel mastermind that is John Bishop.

The sunglasses tilt up. And Mikey knows he’s been caught. He drops the bag without a single hesitation before zipping into the alleys.

“Hey! HEY! THERE! STOP IT! GET THAT THING!”

Mikey runs as fast as he can, lashing out his nunchucks again and begins swinging up into the air to get some distance. He has to find somewhere to hide. And fast. Oh, he’s gonna be in so much trouble when this is over. Getting higher into the air, Mikey scopes his surroundings. It’s night, that gives him the advantage of hiding in the shadows. He just has to—

THWISH!

A net launches out at him, tethered to lead balls as they wrap around him and causes him to lose momentum. He shrieks as he hits the ground, thrashing about to try and escape before he hears people surrounding him. EPF soldiers all shouting orders as the exit points close in. He tries to move, tries to stand, but suddenly he is hit with electric shock. Then another. Then another. The soldiers are poking him with tased poles like poking a distressed girl confused for a witch with pitchforks. He shrills, for that’s all he can do.

Suddenly, there are flashes of light. Red, blue, and purple. There’s the sound of shouting. The rustle of someone scooping him up in large arms and carrying him out of there. Mikey tries to struggle free but his limbs are tangled up tight. A swish of a sword, and Mikey drops to the ground.

He gasps for air, panting. He blinks and finds himself on a tall building’s rooftop. And standing in front of him…were 3 very concerned older brothers.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”, Donnie starts. “DIDN'T WE TELL YOU NOT TO GO OUT TONIGHT? WASN’T IT CLEAR ENOUGH HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!”

“You scared us, Mikey!”, Raph gripes. “You can’t just take off like that without telling anyone! What if something bad happened?”

“Mikey…”, Leo hushes. “Are you okay?”

A hiccup. Then a sob. Mikey curls inwards on himself, profusely trying to wipe his tears that refused to stop. His brothers’ expressions softened, now all quickly crouching to the ground and surrounding him with so much worry it’s suffocating. Mikey’s lip trembles in fear and despair as he brings his wobbling vocal chords to speak.

“...i just wanted to be me…”

The older brothers shower the youngest with love and a comforting embrace as Mikey wails into the night sky. All Mikey ever wants is to be loved. To be able to walk down the street with his head held up high and plastron puffed out. Just like everyone else.

But even some of us don’t get to do that either. Do we?

---------------------------

How come all my Mikey's end up depressed? MLTS Mikey's ending was bitter, no sweet. GEM Mikey had issues tbh. FCAU Mikey...uhh no spoilers from me...

Hope you liked it, Lava! Don't blame me, blame the random number generator that selected you from the prompt spreadsheet. Now, ONTO THE NEXT VICTUM!

[piratewithvigor]

Why We're Tired Of Roman Reigns Winning All The Time: A Presentation

As Michael Cole will remind us with the glee of a thousand dads touting WWII trivia, Roman Reigns is now in the middle of the 4th longest title run in WWE/WWF/WWWF history. And yet we all want to claw our own faces off every time we see him win. Why are we so sick to death of him winning when two others won for far longer?

*note, I only went up to day 1500 of Sammartino's reign cause it impeded legibility beyond that

Look at this chart. Roman hasn't been winning longest, nor more frequently than anyone else. He's even keeping up with the "1 Defence Every 30 Days" stipulation. But we're all so much more tired of him.

The answer is because this is not the 80s. This is not the 70s. This is not the 60s. Even if all you watch every week is the main brand shows, it's 5 hours of WWE every single week. If you include NXT, we get up to 7 hours over 3 events. That was not the case in days of yore.

For Bruno Sammartino's first run, the WWWF put on 77 shows in total in the time I counted (the first 1500 days of his reign).

Bruno's second run had 43 shows.

Pedro Morales had 32 shows.

Hulk Hogan, the first of this bunch to hold a belt during the era of PPVs and weekly shows, had 255 shows.

Since Roman got the belt, there have been 853 shows (as of this writing, Nov 6, before Raw)

Or let's give this another ratio to make it fair.

If Roman defended his belt as often as Hogan, he'd have ~214 defenses under his belt.

~552 times if it was as often as Sammartino's 1st run

~793 times if it was as often as Sammartino's 2nd run

And a full 802 times if it was as often as Pedro Morales (who only sat out of 2 shows his whole run)

Or vice versa

If Hogan defended 18 times

If Sammartino defended 5 times

or 3 times the second run

If Morales defended twice

We're seeing so much more wrestling and so few defenses. If Roman had a near equivalent amount of shows to defend on (approximately once a month), he would have taken over 5 years to defend 62 times he currently has.

Now I'm not faulting him for wrestling as often as someone who did pre-moon landing (it's a rough sport and he's been at this a while, it takes a toll on anyone). I'm faulting those in charge who have over 7 times as many hours per month of wrestling content and think we won't get frustrated when a champ wrestles and retains as long as someone did 60 years ago.

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (23/06/24)

no BA finale this week cause there won't be (good) subs for at least a day or 2 so may as well just put it on next week's post gonna be a p chill week since most shows are over now but the week after we start the summer season so that'll be nice

green - new series/new to me blue - finale/completed

Anime

The Idolmaster Shiny Colours Ep12 (Finale)

I love imas, like a lot, so this was very disappointing for me. The Million Live anime being CG was already bad enough but when we learned this was gonna be too it was even worse cause it showed bamco is going all in on shitty cg anime instead of traditional animation. ML wasn't terrible, to be fair, so it gave me some hope for this but it was way worse than ML. It's also very unfortunate that it aired on the same season as Girls Band Cry which singlehandedly made me respect CG anime so it looks extra extra bad in comparison

Other than the fact that it was CG how was the rest of it? It was alright, even in this it was weaker than other seasons. It had the usual structure of having an episode dedicated to each of the units so you get to know them and the such and big group episodes. That was my favourite part of the anime, seeing the different units interact with each other which doesn't happen much in the game. There weren't like any emotional payoff scenes like we usually get tho Also is it just me or did L'Antica get a lot less screentime than the rest? They got their own episode like the others but after that it felt like they got relegated to just showing up every now and then so the other girls could be like "wow they're so cool", which they are but cmon now. The music was good ofc, it's imas after all. Last 2 episodes were pretty disappointing tho. Despite how good the songs are, having your finale be mostly playing 2 full 4+ minute songs, and the penultimate episode being playing each unit's song (short ver) with reused coreography just isn't great. It did a good enough job simulating the concert feeling but it also made it feel like the anime ended episodes ago and this was just an extra treat

Anyway that's enough yapping from me. TL;DR is that I'm very disappointed and it coulda been a lot better if bamco wasn't cheaping out so hard but what can you do Before S1 even aired they had already announced S2, and last week (? recently) they announced it'll come fall this year so that's nice. It'll be the same quality so not getting my hopes up but looking forward to seeing the girls from noctchill and straylight in action too

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night Ep12 (Finale)

I talked about it in the post for ep 1 but it's funny how I almost didn't watch the show despite being hype for it when it was announced. It turned out very good tho, thank you dogakobo The synopsis for it not being very clear and it being on hidive lead to not that many people watching but it's well worth. It's a story about a group of creative girls (in different areas) coming together and making music while helping each other with their insecurities and hang ups

My only complaints with the show are the yuri baiting they did like 3 times, I'm used to it by now but cmon, and how two charas didn't get the comeuppance for their actions but that's just how life is sometimes. Other than that it was all good, the story and message overall were nice, all the main 4 got to have their own little arcs and growth, the music was great, as you'd hope from a show about music and the visuals had that dogakobo polish I've come to expect from them. Oh also, I think this was the first time takahashi rie and itou miku did a show together and it was great, I already love them individually but they had really good chemistry in this

Manga

Ultimate Exorcist Kiyoshi Ch1

well that was something huh Before release, with the promotional material they put out, they never mentioned once that this was gonna be a comedy series so imagine my surprise when I saw that it was. They really made it look like it was gonna be another edgy exorcist series especially with a mc that looks like that but nope. It's basically OPM but he's an exorcist instead Also, it's super weird for them to start 2 exorcist comedy series back to back like this right? I mean they're different types, youkais and demons, but it's still very weird I think Anyway, I don't think this series will live long tho. While the art is good, having yet another exorcist and yet another comedy series isn't gonna cut it. Plus the other one is a shorter page count so it's easier to have around. Hopefully they get another shot cause, again, the art is pretty good

Akane-banashi Ch115

we still don't know the results but that was an INCREDIBLE performance, like I even got goosebumps. akane usually does this but I really liked how they connected the story that was being told with the storyteller's own story, it felt even more effective than usual in this case. I'm sure he'll pass the test, there's no way he won't (right...?) but we'll see for sure next week

[dead-loch]

my roommate and I keep having convos about this but I feel like the disconnect between “older” and younger trans people (and queer people in general) is so fucking vast. (Maybe this is just the normal disconnect you feel as you get older).

I just do not have the energy anymore to write people off completely when they do something shitty, which is like, a favourite past time of angry young people (I’m not saying this to chastise; I’m saying it because I remember feeling that same way). it’s always black or white, the person is immediately the enemy and everyone else who likes them joins the ranks. it’s fucking exhausting.

I’ve been in the middle of these like crusades where people are trying their hardest to get someone kicked out of a community for making a mistake. I’ve been on the board of arts orgs that had to bring in a mediator because 2 people had an issue with a board member and refused to accept: an apology, the board member being made to step down, AND a full recounting to the public of what was done on our end and their end. they aren’t happy with any of that because they want to punish, punish, punish. Note that the issue was not, like, life threatening or dangerous.. the board member had just said something they didn’t like and to be fair we agreed that it wasn’t okay and literally took them off the board as soon as they contacted us. But that wasn’t enough.

(These same people are also protesting against police brutality and calling for the defunding of police. In case you don’t realise this already, moving away from our current system of “justice” will mean having to find empathy within yourself for people who’ve done horrific things. If you don’t believe in punitive justice, you need to be applying it to your actual life, too, not just yelling about it on socials. Some of you are truly not ready for a system that doesn’t value dehumanising human lives.)

I spent my teenage years and young adulthood so unbelievably angry and hurt and I don’t want to keep poisoning myself like that anymore (I’m not always successful in this). we grew up with depictions of trans people being jokes or worse 99% of the time. if we didn’t watch media that was problematic we would literally just watch nothing. my roommate is in her 40s and came out about a decade ago. she’s a trans woman who will never (and doesn’t want to) “pass” as a cis woman. she cannot afford meds or surgery. neither can I. We spent so much time hiding that it’s almost impossible to be who we could have been, had we had the freedom we’d have today.

We both used to call out transphobia in every piece of fking media we saw (including calling out celebs and public figures and raging against them) and it’s goddamn exhausting. There’s a lot of value in the strides we’ve made to stop glorifying actual monsters (murderers, rapists, etc) but someone signing some bullshit letter which has zero impact on real life is not on my radar.

Let’s take JK Rowling as an example. Not only has she made it her mission to be as transphobic as she possibly can be, but she WILL NOT STOP. She will not apologise, she will not change her views. She’s proven that over years. This to me is nowhere near the same level as someone saying something once in an interview or adding their name to some disgusting letter that hundreds of other idiots signed. JK Rowling is malicious in the way she does these things and is doing them to purposefully harm others. There are others who are like this as well, but it’s far from the majority of people.

I’m also seeing WAY too many people also go way too far the other way, where they’ll defend a piece of media like their life depends on it instead of admitting when there’s problematic depictions, or admitting when the creators or actors or whoever is being harmful. Like that person saying “keep my show out of your mouth”…. you realise it’s just a fucking tv show, right? And like if you didn’t engage, there’d be nothing for the “other side” to rage at? And that by saying that shit you’re valuing your tv show over the concerns of actual human beings? There’s no excuse for this behaviour.

Idk man. I think I’ve just learned to pick my battles (again, I fail at this sometimes too) and I don’t understand anymore why people want to poison themselves by engaging in behaviour that pits them against others. Most of the time they’re pitting themselves against people with whom they have more in common than not, and they’re doing it at the expense of focusing on real issues.

To bring it back to the art org I was a board member on, the experience where we had to bring in a mediator killed the org. The founder (an Iranian queer woman) had just lost family to covid and these people kept coming at her again and again and not respecting boundaries or feeling an ounce of empathy for what they were shovelling on her. The org itself was a tiny music festival which brought musicians I’d never heard of to our city and specifically served marginalised communities. The board member these people didn’t like was a queer Vietnamese rapper. So instead of this tiny org getting to flourish and do some good, in-fighting completely killed it over something that could have been resolved by people sitting down face to face.

I know I’m really rambly but I hope this makes some kind of sense.

I just think so many people are fighting the wrong enemies. In that… they aren’t even enemies. You’re fighting people who could change if you weren’t being such a fucking asshole about it (because someone being an asshole isn’t super conducive to me rethinking my position and doesn’t make it easy to say “you’re right, but I also think ____”)

You’re all seeing people as irredeemable when you need to see them as being capable of change, which they are. Probably not while they’re being told they should kill themselves though.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The video begins on the floor, the camera is angled forwards and up slightly, someone slowly paces back and forth, muttering something.]

[The figure stops and leans down, picking up the camera, grinning. The figure is identified as Edgar.]

E: Ha! Gotcha! There was no mental breakdown! I was muttering the lyrics to ‘Barbie Girl’. Now! It’s time to tell my story. Which will definitely cause one!

[Edgar places the phone down across from him, he sits cross legged on the floor against a wall. The phone is angled towards his upper body, showing his face.]

E: Alright… fuck…

[He clears his throat, and stares into the camera.]

E: Around… 12 years ago… I was unmasked. By this kid. His name was James, nice kid, amazing kid, actually. He threw that fucking mask as hard as he could and told me to just start running. And so… we ran. For around 20 minutes. And then we ducked into this room, which had a few other people staying there.

E: I remember their names. Very clearly. Lily, James, Alex, Maxine, and… Micah. I don’t know if the others made it. But… I know for sure that Micah didn’t. 

[He glances away from the camera, then back.]

E: I was the only one there who couldn’t remember my own name. No matter how hard we tried, nothing was coming back. So… we settled for calling me ‘Mechanic’. Or… Mike. It didn’t feel right, but it was the best we had. 

E: I was out for… a full month. I had one full month of freedom in 2011 that I didn’t remember until last night. It was… like this. I remember what jobs each person used to have, too. Lily was an actor, Maxine was a janitor, Micah and James were both in the camera crew, and Alex was in set design. 

[Edgar pauses for a few seconds, thinking.]

E: The day we tried to escape was… disastrous. We ran for about… 2 hours. Evading security, evading employees. We had this all planned out. But then things went south. We got cornered. They grabbed me, first. 

[His fists clench, as does his jaw. But he takes a deep breath, before continuing.]

E: It was drawn out. The remasking lasted longer than it needed to. It felt like years. They gave this huge fucking speech about ‘this is what happens to disloyal employees.’

[One of his arms moves to his head, and he runs it through his bloodied hair while speaking.]

E: They broke my fucking arms, and my legs, right in front of the group. Lily was 10 fucking years old, damn it. I could see every last ounce of hope leaving her eyes as they did it. It was the same with the others, too. 

E: It’s not fair. I cared for them like a father, Lily even said she looked up to me more than once, and they all had to watch as I was beaten within an inch of my fucking life. James was 18, Micah was 17, Alex was 15, Maxine was 16. And it was her birthday.

[The arm that is being run through his hair grabs it tightly, he curls into himself a little more.]

E: I was on the ground, bleeding, for so long. I remember the last part of their spiel very clearly now, too.

[He shudders. Blinking back tears.]

E: They said, word for word: “You can’t run, or hide. There is no escape for you. This attempt was pitiful. Now, say goodbye to your precious friend here, you’ll never see him again.” [Long pause] I couldn’t fight back as they put the mask back on. All I could do was fucking plead with them, and of course that didn’t work. They put it on, and then… nothing. It went dark. 

[Tears roll down his cheeks.]

E: I wish I could tell them that I remembered who I was. They’d be happy. Or… I like to think they would be.

[A long, deep breath.]

E: And… that’s what I remembered. Bye.

[He grabs the phone, and turns the transcript off quickly.]

[Transcript end.]

[thebreakfastgenie]

For the WIP list game, tell me about all or any of your TWW fics! Bonus for 'donna moss fic 2' because that is one hundo how I name my files.

this got real long so I put it under a cut

so donna moss fic 2 is called that because many years ago I had a fic called "donna moss fic" that was supposed to be quick and ended up being 10k and taking like six months. that fic became Start Over. then in 2020 I watched the When We All Vote Special and two things happened. one, I rewatched the show and landed back in the fandom after drifting away because I basically could not watch it while Trump was in office. two, I noticed a detail in Hartsfield's Landing I had never really paid a lot of attention to before. Josh says the Flenders took Donna in and fed her, and that she was pretty pathetic. I realized this was in New Hampshire, probably right after she joined the campaign the first time. I once spent a night with volunteers who housed campaign workers, and I thought that would be a really fun story to tell about Donna.

and somehow this turned into doing the Donna campaign backstory fic, again. the full title is "donna moss fic 2?? why are we doing this" because why the hell I would that fic again after what I went through the first time, I don't know. but I do know. I can do it better now. it's not a rewrite of Start Over, it's an alternate version. some things are very similar and a few lines are exactly the same, but there are some differences. I revised the timeline and geography, for one thing. this fic drove me to the brink of actual insanity (it was lockdown time to be fair) trying to figure out the fictional presidential primary schedule. I also checked the actual color of the "Welcome to New Hampshire" sign in person (I was going there anyway lol).

the idea is that each chapter is a state Donna goes to, either with the campaign or on her own. there's a prologue about the end of her drive to New Hampshire, which is the only part that is strictly speaking "written." the chapters are New Hampshire, South Carolina, maybe South Dakota depending on if I think it needs another campaign chapter for pacing, Illinois, California, Wisconsin, New Hampshire (reprise) and probably an epilogue in DC, tying together the information we have from In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, 17 People, and Hartsfield's Landing.

when I wrote Start Over I kind of side-stepped the issue of Josh's father's death and this time I am attacking it head on. I should probably keep this to myself for maximum impact, but oh well, it'll be long enough for you to forget. the idea this time around is that she tries to leave before Josh gets back from his father's funeral, but he comes back early because of course he does and catches her in the act. I have a very heartbreaking scene planned. this is not a Josh/Donna fic because I can't stand pre-series J/D, but like most of what I write, it's written with the idea that these people do fall in love and get together a few years down the road. it's about the beginning of their friendship, with a few charged moments, but it's more about Donna as a person. I'm also trying to pepper in some backstory of how she ended up with Dr. Freeride in the first place and why she feels enough loyalty to go back. the scene where she actually does come back is so vivid in my mind. I can hear the exact inflection of "thank god, there's a pile of stuff on the desk."

the planned epilogue is the first "anniversary" when Donna gets flowers from Josh for the first time. I thought about folding in an idea I had for the transition, where Josh is forced by Leo to give Donna a job interview as a formality, but I don't think that fits here so it'll be on its own whenever I get to it. obviously the main relationship Donna has at this point is with Josh, but I want to show the beginning of her friendships with the other senior staff, too.

the original first scene, before I decided to add a prologue, was going to be Josh dropping Donna at the Flenders' house for the night, having called in a favor since they don't have a hotel room for her. the Flenders proceed to freak her out by serving some kind of local New Hampshire dinner and a full breakfast at 5am. that will all still happen, of course. basically I want to fill in the gaps!

here's a bit of the prologue. I hate writing opening lines, and this is one of my favorites because it's the rare one I actually like:

In Massachusetts, she almost lost her nerve. The broken-hearted rage that had propelled her across six states faltered as she waited to merge onto I-495 and it occurred to her, finally, how crazy this was. She could get off at the next exit, turn the car around, and go home. She could stay with her parents, hold her head high, grit her her teeth through the humiliation. She could do exactly what everyone expected of her.  A space appeared on the interstate; she nestled her dusty car between a shiny red sedan and an old silver van. Flying down the highway, she thought of the life she was leaving behind. Her dead-end job, her unfinished education, her tiny apartment, and him. She floored the gas, outrunning her doubts, her fears, her insecurities. 

I will be doing strawberry fields in another ask but just a quick (lol) rundown of the other two west wing fics:

the ellsberg variant

the ellsberg variant is called that because it sounds cool but it's also descriptive. Daniel Ellsberg worked at the state department and leaked the pentagon papers (this is in the movie the post) and in retaliation a group of guys better known for other work broke into his psychiatrist's office and tore the place up. either they were just trying to intimidate him, or they were looking for his file to find embarrassing information and just didn't find it because they were incompetent (the other work was Watergate). so I thought, what if that happened to Josh, but they actually did just get pictures or copies of the file and leave without evidence?

so in my imagining, burglars break into a psychiatrist's office in Virginia or Maryland because they know there are high profile clients, and just get photos and copies of any files they can, to sell to whoever might be interested. the Republicans plan to use the information to embarrass Josh during the hearings, like they did with Leo, but Bartlet takes the censure deal before they get the chance, so they end up dumping it in a tabloid in order to damage Bartlet's re-election campaign with claims that his staff is mentally incompetent and he's too checked out with MS to notice (the headline is "Bartlet's Loony Bin").

the White House finds out when an advance copy is delivered by messenger in a brown envelope to CJ's office. they try to figure out who warned them and why, as well as what they can do about it. CJ enlists Danny to help (without giving him the full story, but he figures a lot out) and he finds out about the break-in, which was downplayed by the security company to avoid embarrassment, meaning the patients (including Josh) were never informed their records may have been compromised.

I'm not sure where exactly it goes from here. the first scene is the delivery of the envelope from Carol's POV. I might have Josh call Mandy in as a personal consultant (I just want to give Mandy real character development) and Amy will probably be involved in some way too. there's definitely a conversation where Josh is worried about the Oval Office incident being made public, and Leo assures him the four people who were there (Josh, Leo, Sam, Jed) won't tell anyone, Josh points out they already did, they told Stanley. Josh tries to resign, naturally, but Jed refuses to let him. I know it ends okay, I just don't know exactly how, or have the intrigue plot worked out. I do have a backstory for the person who sent them the advance copy: an employee at the tabloid who can't afford to quit her job, but thinks printing the story is wrong. her father is a Vietnam vet with PTSD and everything. I don't know if the White House staff ever find out who she is, but it might be fun to end with a flashback to her sending the advance. there's also some exploration of Josh's trust in his therapist being violated and where he goes from there.

don't be a hero

I wrote almost all of don't be a hero on notebook paper during psychology class in college and a couple years ago I finally typed up what I have. in theory it just needs an ending, but I can write so much better now, I started rewriting it, and just haven't gotten around to finishing it.

in 2008, President Santos is giving a speech at a university and presenting an award to a professor who has consulted with the White House on counterterrorism work, when a bomb goes off in the auditorium. The target was the professor, who is Muslim (there had been an Islamophobic hate crime in the news recently when I started this). Santos breaks his arm, Sam gets some cuts when a light falls on him, but the Secret Service does their job and gets them out of there. Josh had stepped out to call Lou, who is back at the White House working on a critical vote, and Donna had gone to get him. Donna hurts her foot and can't walk, so Josh helps her out, and on the way out he thinks he sees someone trapped. While Donna is talking to the paramedics, Josh runs back inside to look for the girl he thinks he saw.

the girl is real and he finds her and is able to unblock the door that was trapping her in, but inhales a lot of smoke in the process and passes out. the girl runs outside and tells the firefighters what happened, and they go in and pull Josh out. the scene has mostly been cleared at this point, but Sam is still looking for Josh, and end up identifying him to the first responders, which contributes to the ensuing media circus when it comes out that the White House Chief of Staff ran into a burning building. Josh wakes up in the hospital and gets chastised by Santos and Donna and also most of the Bartlet era staff via phone. Donna also has a talk with him about how she's proud, but she was terrified. He also has a nice visit with Amanda, the girl he saved.

When I finish the rewrite, I'm adding a storyline where the White House communications staff suggest trying to control what Amanda says to the press, and Josh insists that she's 19 years old and someone tried to kill her, so she can say whatever she wants, but asks CJ to come in and advise her on how to handle the press, for her own wellbeing. Danny also tells Josh he thinks the media attention on the rescue is going to dig up personal history and find out about Joanie, so he should consider making a statement. He tells Lou about Joanie for the first time in the process of preparing that, and Lou wonders why he never told her before.

I think it will end with Josh and Donna's wedding a couple months later.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve ended up reading a lot of interviews, reviews of stand-up shows, and just articles written about comedians in the last six months. I mean, I read a fair bit of the stuff since I started getting really into all this comedy several years ago, but especially in the last six months, since I got more into stand-up. There’s an obvious flaw in trying to watch a lot of live entertainment while living an ocean away from the people I want to see, and getting around that involves a lot of looking up all the different shows that have been done by different people, to see what’s been recorded. And sometimes, if there’s a show I really want to see but can’t find, I’ll settle for just reading all the stuff written about it. I don’t know exactly when this started happening, but I can now name a number of comedy reviewers off the top of my head and identify them by their writing style.

Reading so much stuff like this has led me to realize that a lot of what gets written about comedy shows is really weird. Describing things that don’t need to be described, in terms that don’t need to be used, to sort of tell some predetermined story about whatever bit of comedy they’ve decided to mold into their perspective (and that, I would argue, is my job). It’s not all bad, obviously. I just feel like I have greater sympathy for comedians who complain about their reviews now that I actually read those things more often. A lot of what gets written about comedy is clearly written by someone who clearly doesn’t have full knowledge of the subject and glosses over that with simplifications (and again, that’s my job - I justify criticizing them when I’m not better because no one pays me to talk shit on Tumblr.com).

Last week I listened again to a couple of older Daniel Kitson shows, which everyone should get from Bandcamp; I did that earlier this year and they ruined my life in a multitude of good ways. Anyway, I realized there were some inconsistencies with labeling in my Kitson folder, and I set out to fix that. I looked up some details about those shows, wanting to have all the relevant information in the file names, because that’s the sort of thing I do with my time.

In the process of doing that, I came across this article, which I want to share because it’s just a simple example of an article about comedy that comes off well. It’s not an outstanding piece of writing or anything, they just managed to write about a comedy show and sound 1) like they know what they’re talking about, and 2) like a fairly normal person. This is especially impressive because it’s an article about Daniel Kitson, and people seem especially incapable of being remotely normal when writing about Daniel Kitson in particular. So much weird over-the-top language gets used with him, often about aspects that are incidental to the actual show. And if they do talk about the substance of the show, they just throw a hundred adjectives into a sentence and figure that counts as analysis. I realize they need to avoid spoilers about the content, but that doesn’t mean the writing needs to be completely impenetrable.

So I wanted to write a post that gives credit to the above article, for being the exception that proves the rule. Most of it is so well written that I’ll even forgive the extraordinary punctuation decision at the end of the third paragraph.

This person managed to get through an entire article about Daniel Kitson without once:

- Using the word “recluse” to describe a guy who regularly performs in public for a living

- Describing his physical appearance in ways that sound so strange and shocking that if you only knew him by those descriptions, you’d be surprised to see videos of him and learn that he’s just a guy who has a beard and glasses, and until about 2007 he grew his hair long

- Making his stutter sound like a bigger deal than it actually is

- Describing him “mumbling” or something along those lines, even though he tends to over-enunciate words

- Finding really whimsical and creative ways to call him a fucking nerd

- Finding really whimsical and creative ways to call him a fucking hipster

And they were, like, a reasonable amount of sycophantic. In a way that’s actually related to the material, and justified, because the material fucking deserves it. That’s much better than the general veneration of the legend of some magical genius, couched in vague language so it feels like the thing they’re really impressed by is how often everyone says he’s a big deal. When in reality, Daniel Kitson is much more interesting than the mythos of Daniel Kitson.

Anyway, while I’m here praising someone’s ability to write about Daniel Kitson like a normal person, I want to include the fact that article had some really amusing descriptions of Radio Four. One by Daniel Kitson, which was taken from his show, and I’m glad it got quoted in the article because this bit wasn’t in the version of that show that I’ve heard:

“Radio 4 shouldn't know reality television exists. Radio 4 should barely know television exists! I've heard there is a magic picture box in the corner! But it doesn't look as if it will come to anything. Now, here are some more words pronounced perfectly!”

And another one from the article’s writer: “Radio 4 is the BBC talk station. It has gardeners' shows, where they discuss mulching, and wildlife shows, even though you can't see the animals, and odd quiz shows about arcane subjects - British history between 1310 and 1335, that kind of thing - with utterly impenetrable scoring systems and no prizes.”

I enjoyed both of those. I don’t even know who wrote this thing, as it doesn’t seem to have a byline for some reason. But whoever wrote it deserves credit; that was a very interesting read and it didn’t make me want to shout, “What the fuck are you talking about?” at the mysterious writer.

[ragingbookdragon]

I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 3

Batfamily x Batsis Story!

Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst! Tags!: @itsnottilly @cloudyskylines

Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN!!!! Y'all enjoy this now, because it's only gonna get so much more angstier soon. -Thorne

Set Three Months After PT. 2:

She didn’t have to look up to know who entered the shop, because his voice carried over the air. “Melisandre!”

Humming, she immediately plated a pastry and a hot coffee, sliding it on the counter just as he sat down. “Good morning, Wally,” she greeted, watching him take a bite. “Right on time, as always.”

He smiled, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Morming Merisamdmur,” he replied, and she rolled her eyes with a snort.

“Jeez Wally, didn’t your mom teach you to not talk with your mouth full?”

Shrugging, he swallowed and said, “I was trying to be polite.”

“I think it’s more polite to chew with your mouth closed and speak after you swallow.”

They glared at each other before one of them cracked a smile and they fell into laughter. She tossed a napkin his way. “How’s your day going so far?”

Wally groaned and laid his head on the cool marble countertop. “I’ve got so much to do today, it’s not even funny.”

“Well, well, Wally the procrastinator is finally feeling his toes at the fire, huh?” She ignored his glare. “What do you have to do?”

“Barry needs my help with my cousins and my friends are coming over today to hangout and I haven’t bought any food or drinks for that and I have yet to even start cleaning my house.”

She giggled and reached over, patting his head sympathetically. “There, there, Wally. Everything will be alright. Why don’t you just bring your cousins over to your house and watch them while you hang out with your friends?”

“Because my cousins are annoying and I’m not subjecting my friends to that,” he countered and propped his chin on his palm. “Unless…”

She cocked a brow and waited for him to continue and he offered, “You come over with my cousins and help me watch them?”

“No.”

“What! Why?”

“Well for starters, I don’t know your friends and it would be weird for me to just show up.” She countered.

“They’ll like you though!” he cried, and his hand shot out, wrapping around hers. “Please, Melisandre!”

“Wally, I’ll just watch your cousins at my apartment and Iris can just come get them later, that’ll be easier and won’t force me to sit in a group of people who don’t know me.” He tried to speak but she tossed another napkin, hitting him in the face. “I’m watching Dawn and Don so you and your friends can hang out without being bothered, and that’s final.”

His face pinched. “You sure you can keep up with them?”

Something passed between them and she quirked a brow. “I can keep up with you, can’t I, Wally?”

Wally chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a fair point.” He glanced at her. “They would like you though.”

She ignored the comment in favor of, “Tell me about them. What are they like?”

He inhaled sharply and took a moment to think. “Donna’s strong willed, Roy’s loud, Lilith likes to get in your head, Garth is easy to annoy, and Dick’s kinda the glue that keeps us together.”

“Dick? He get that from Richard by asking nicely?”

Wally barked a laugh. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna tell him you said that.” He nodded. “But yeah, his name is Richard Grayson, but he goes by Dick.”

Her eyes almost bulged out of her head and she was lucky that Wally was looking at his watch then.

Don’t ask. Don’t do it. Leave it alone.

But she couldn’t stop herself.

“Richard Grayson?” she feigned. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

Wally met her eyes. “Bruce Wayne.”

She snapped her fingers. “Right! The ward.” Wiping the counter, she added, “I heard they added a new addition to that family too. A daughter, right? Cassie? Cassidy?”

“Cassandra,” Wally corrected. “Yeah, that’s Dick’s new sister.” He put his elbows on the counter. “She’s nice, doesn’t talk a lot though.”

“The quiet one, then?”

He laughed. “Of them all.”

Don’t dig any deeper, (Y/N). Keep your fucking mouth shut and let it go.

“I always wondered what happened to that other daughter he had,” she murmured, and Wally’s face blanched like he’d witnessed a murder.

“What?”

She met his gaze. “He had another daughter. I think her name was (Y/N).”

He swallowed thickly. “He does.”

“Does? She’s still around?”

“Yeah, she’s in some Italian villa.”

“Wait really? I thought she died or something?”

“What? No! She left—” Wally snapped his mouth shut like he was about to reveal a secret, but she knew anyways. “She left and went to Europe for a mental retreat.” He finalized and she wondered if that was the story Dick told him to say if anyone asked. Or maybe it was Bruce.

“It’s been like three years now, right? You’d think she’d post something on social media.”

“The whole point of a mental retreat, Melisandre, is to get away from social media.”

Oh please, I know plenty of elite who do that shit and still post crap on their socials.

“There’s no way that girl hasn’t.”

“Why do you say that?”

She scoffed. “Oh please, she’s the daughter of a multi-billionaire. There’s no way a girl that wears Gucci belts and carries Prada purses keeps herself off social media.”

Wally’s eyes narrowed like he was thinking hard about something and she internally cursed.

Oh, smooth move you dumbass.

She coughed and waved a hand. “Well, it’s all theory anyway.”

After a moment, he nodded. “Yeah…theory.” Wally got to his feet and handed her the empty plate. “I should go ahead and get back to my place and clean up before they get here.”

“Have fun,” she smiled, and he grabbed her arm.

“Take a pic with me.”

“What? Why?”

“So, I can tell my friends about you and prove I’m not lying.” He pouted. “Pretty please, Melisandre?”

Don’t do it. Dick will know. You know he’ll know.

She smiled despite her internal thoughts. “Sure.”

Wally grinned and raised the camera where she was in the background. She threw up a peace sign and gave a cheesy grin, momentarily blinded by the flash of the camera.

She spun and filled a bag with pastries then handed it to him. “Here, so you can give even more proof.”

Wally took the bag and hopped onto the counter, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks Melisandre!” And he was dashing out the door.

You’ve ruined it all. This is going to come back to bite you in the ass. And it’s going to come quicker than you think.

She frowned and wiped down the counter again, trying to ignore her thoughts. Maybe. Just maybe, it wouldn’t.

***

Waving Barry and Iris off, she smiled as the twins climbed into the backseat of their car and the taillights signaled their departure. She closed the door behind her and glanced at the mess the two tornadoes had left. Even for the little she had in her apartment, they sure did know how to make a mess.

She sighed as she bent over to pick up one of the cushions when her doorbell rang and she stood up, confusion coming over her as she made her way to the door.

“Hello?” she asked, and a muffled voice echoed from the other side.

“Melisandre, it’s me, Wally. Can I come in?”

She opened the door, surprised to see him. “Wally? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your friends?”

“Yeah, I told them I had to do something really quickly,” he said as entered her apartment. He took a moment to examine her living room. “Man, Dawn and Don did a number here, didn’t they?”

She chuckled. “We had fun building forts.” Nudging him in the side, she added, “I don’t mind the mess.” She looked at him. “Do your friends know? About you being…you know?”

He nodded. “We’re all special in some way.”

Understatement there, Wally.

“So, why tell them you need to do something then come to me? Is everything alright?”

Busying herself with the couch cushions, she waited for him to explain, but nothing could’ve prepared her for his words.

“It will be once I get to the bottom of it…(Y/N).” She froze for a split second, but it was all he needed. “It really is you, isn’t it?”

(Y/N) stood upright and gazed at him. “When did you know?” Her voice was a lot colder than she meant for it to be.

“I had suspicion for a while, but when I showed the picture to everyone, Dick said it looked like you.”

“Really?” she laughed. “I thought I did a good job changing my appearance from three years ago.”

Wally didn’t laugh, he merely gaped at her. “Why?”

“Why what?” (Y/N) knew what he was referring to.

“Why’d you just leave?” He took a step towards her. “Do you have any idea what your family has gone through since you disappeared on them? The grief? The shame?”

She shrugged. “I explained everything in the letter I wrote my dad, Wally. There’s no reason why they should still be concerned with me.”

“They love you!” he shouted, taking her by surprise. “They love and miss you so much!”

“My family ignored me for eighteen years straight, Wally!” She yelled right back. “What was I supposed to do? Sit and pretend being forgotten was all normal?!” (Y/N) couldn’t help but shove at his chest. “I chose to leave because my next choice was taking a swan dive off Wayne Enterprises!”

His eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I left because the only person who cared about me, was me.” She turned and fixed the final couch cushion while he watched her do so.

“They’re still looking for you, you know. Dick is always staring at his phone hoping there’s a text from Jason or Tim that they’ve found a sign of you.”

(Y/N) sighed. “If you’re trying to guilt trip me, Wally, it’s not going to work.” She shot him a glare. “I got over the fucking guilt the second the flight to Central took off. I got over the fucking guilt the night I laid in a hotel room bed curled into a ball where I cried myself to sleep. I got over the fucking guilt the moment I realized I’ve done so much better on my own than when I was there.”

She marched up to him and got in his face. “I got over the fucking guilt when I realized Barry and Iris Allen were more of a family than four brothers and dad ever were.”

They glared at each other and finally, she let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already started a new life here and I have no plans of ever going back.”

“At a college that doesn’t have a real name. You know that’s illegal, right?”

(Y/N) scoffed. “What’re you gonna do, Wally? March into four-C and tell them Bruce Wayne’s daughter is going to school under a false name? We both know you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll tell Dick,” he suddenly shot back, and she went rigid.

“You wouldn’t dare,” (Y/N) threatened and he took a step towards her, getting nose to nose with her.

“Try me.”

They stared one another down and she said, “I think you need to leave, Wally West.”

His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I guess I should.” He spun on his heel and marched to the door, but stopped when she questioned,

“Are you really going to tell him?”

Wally gazed at the ground for a moment then he murmured, “…No…it’s not my place to.”

(Y/N) swallowed and nodded. “Thank yo—”

“Don’t thank me, (Y/N). I’m lying to my best friend about knowing the real location of his baby sister he misses dearly.”

She looked away. “Cassandra is his baby sister now. He should focus on her.”

“You really have no idea about what they feel for you, do you, (Y/N)?” He asked, and she grunted.

“Get out, Wally.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gone,” he spat, slamming the door behind him, hard enough that it shook the walls that held the doorframe.

(Y/N) stared at the door for a few moments then cursed sharply and collapsed onto her couch, eyes directed to the ceiling. Three years down the drain in one conversation.

Way to go, (Y/N). You did a spectacular job of keeping it all under wraps.

She groaned and picked herself off the couch, not caring about the mess as she headed to bed. She’d deal with it all in the morning.

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the  burning spotlights and the applause and  the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

1.5k

Warnings:  The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences  mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway. 

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there. 

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there. 

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me? 

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word. 

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting. 

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen: 

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button. 

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head. 

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. 

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day. 

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.” 

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them. 

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here? 

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal. 

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything. 

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert. 

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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Go Team Venture! A Venture Bros Retrospective: Season 4A

Hello all you happy venturoos! I”m jake and I review comics and animation, and today we return to the world of guys in costumes, stuffed dead cats, batman obessed blond mop heads, super science shenanigans and naked men, as my Venture Bros retrospective makes it’s triumphant return!

For those of you who missed the looks at the first three seasons, which is fair the season 3 review was two months ago, here's some links

Season 1!

Season 2!

Season 3!

The short version: Since high school i’ve been a huge fan of the Venture Bros, but due to my watch queue being as bit as the posts linked above and this one your reading, I simply never got around to it. So late last year when I decided to continue the trend i’d started of starting a review of something I love dearly to the point it’s a part of my very soul, the choice was obvious and thus this look back at the series had began. Like with Scott Pilgrim I noticed tons of deeper things about the series I hadn’t before, re-evaluated episodes I once hated, got to enjoy ones I loved again and found some.. were just as crappy as always. Hello Fallen Arches, Love Bheits, Guess Whose Coming to State Dinner, and an episode we’ll get to shortly. I got to bask in the titular bros shenanigans, recoil in horror at just how low Doc could sink, and see the badassery and jerkassery of brock sampson and many many more in this stuffed to perfection cast. 

So with how well this was going you might wonder why I stopped. 

Okay I do have some but I coudln’t resist that gag. The first delay was because I got sick unexpedetly and had to push it back as it was the only review I could afford to. As for the second it’s ironically for the same reason this season got cut in half: Much like Jackson I was burnt out after stupidly overtaxing myself and thus delayed some things rather than half ass them. These reviews mean a lot and just like Jackson i’d rather things take longer than come out half assed and exausted. Thankfully a few days off last week, even with ANOTHER cold because I have Rusty’s luck without actually deserving any of it, did the trick and i’m primed and ready to jump into what is easily my favorite season, and I feel comfortable saying that both having only rewatched one half and having had to sit through Perchance to Dean again. By episode 4 the season is on full blast, taking everything that made the show work thus far from oddly specific references, to the gorgeous art direction, to the fatnastically lived in and well constructed world to the titular boys themselves, and took it to it’s peak. The first three seasons are good, especially seasons 2 and 3.. but season 4 is damn near perfect.

As usual before we get into the season itself we have to see how the sausage gets made. And the key part of this one’s development was burnout. Season 3 was the first season they had made that had the promise of another one. It’s WHY they upended the show: As Doc pulled it its’ no fun to do something like say, killing 24 or having brock quit, something that changes the shows dna.. and then just walking away. You don’t end on a cliffhanger unless your sure you’ll get to resolve it. It’s why Doc and Jackson were so determined to find some way to end things after season 7: having Hank leave possibly forever is not the note you end a series on, it’s the kind of note you play knowing it’s leading into another song. It also meant having to shelve an episode idea till next time was less frustrating: for all the ones the big status quo shifts would make unwritable, there were dozens more that would be just fine next time. 

The problem was, much like myself, Jackson overestimated just how much he could do and how long it would take. As such he expected to be ahead of schedule and fell horribly behind instead, something I again know all too well and something that according to Doc he does every year. It’s just this year he didn’t have the gap between seasons to recharge his creative batteries so they burst into flame on him. All but one of the episodes aren’t bad and the one that is isn’t because of burnout, so he didn’t let the work suffer but having put so much into it he was about ready to collapse and utterly behind when he got to what would become the season 6b premire “The Diving Bell Vs The Butter Glider” he had the ideas.. but he just coudln’t bring himself to make the script. 

Doc was fully supportive as like any sane person when he hears a person screaming I need a break his first inscint isn’t to crack the whip and increase the crunch like too many assholes out there in creative fields.. but to let Jackson slow the fuck down. Jackson went to the network and convinced them to let him split the season in half and add a few extra episodes: Adult Swim gets basically two seasons of it’s most popular show and Jackson gets a LITTLE rest. They didn’t really STOP or anything, they just didn’t have to go as hard and despite being exausted to hell in the second half we’ll get to next month, Jackson still was utterly proud of what he produced and never made the mistake to not have a decent gap between seasons again. And look most shows do come out at a once a year clip, but I can’t blame the guys for working at their own pace, epsecially having to do dvd stuff, promotion, all sorts of other things going on around each season. 

As for why keep the split it’s two reasons: the first is that i’ts simply less exausting to do two batches of 8 episodes versus one motherfucker big 16 episode giant, 17 really as Prom is double length. I have my limits and while these reviews are some of my faviorite work i’ve ever done they still take a LOT out of me. And that’s knowing one of the next shows i’m going to going to do full season reviews like this of has 24 eps a season. But said eps are 11 minutes, so it’s a bit easier to swallow compared to trying to cram down 15 half hours and one full our in the span of a month. How Totally Not Mark does WAY more than that every month, even without two other reviews in the week to consider, I have NO idea.  More than that it also just.. feels right to split the season. While on a nostalgic level it’s how I watched it both halves , while making a whole together, still FEEL like their own seasons with their own dedicated premires. More than that thanks to Brock’s absence 4a just has it’s own feel and even it’s own status quos for Gary and Hank that get shifted a bit next season. While hank is still a tad more rebellious and mature and gary still entirely badass while still very much gary, both shift in priortities with Hank having his absent surrogate dad back in his life, thus having no need to rebel against his other authority figures anymore, and Gary questioning the life he’s chosen. We’ll obviously get to those more next month, but you get my point: each part while making a whole together is it’s own thing, kinda like how the two halves of amphibia seasons 2 and 3 each feel very diffrent from each other while still flowing into one another. So it just makes the most sense to do each part on it’s own. So with that let’s begin this journey with the first part as Hatred moves in, brock moves out and 24 dosen’t really move on so much as talk to his halluciation of his best friends ghost.  

                                                Content Warning: 

This Review Contains mentions of Pedophilia as one of the main cast members at this point is a former pedophile, as it will sexual assault. Discretion is advised

                                        The Season(Piece) and Me

When making the intro I forgot to get into how I experienced the season way back when, or at least this part. And despite this review being a meaty boy that took several days, I still felt I needed to go back and add it. The whole reason i’m doing this project, and frankly do most of my projects, is it means something to me. Sure I take comissions and patreons and gladly, i’m getting paid to do what I love. I’d never walk that back and I do have to sign off on the thing i’m reviewing before I actually agree to take money. But one of the best joys of this job is just getting to jaw on about works I truly love, the good and the bad of them. And on rare occasions tearing apart things I truly hate, see you next month Quagmire’s Dad!, but my point is I do this retrospective out of love and the deep history I have with the show so not sharing it now we’re in the thick of me watching it one on one is just silly.

So by now I was hooked, having written my own utterly terrible fourth season during sophmore year of High School.. it’s thankfully lost to time. I loved this show so while I checked season 3 out casually this was the first season I went into hyped as hell and obviously it did not disapoint. This really was the golden era of my being a venture bros fan: the mantis eye experiment, a fansite that not only still exists but is where I get most of the screencaps for the episode guide, allowed me to talk about the episodes as my struggle to find people who share some of my werid intrests is eternal apparently, and it was just pure fun. I got to see things progress and change, the characters truly evolve and ooo and ahh as the show really hit it’s peak. It was a great time to be alive and to be a venture fan. 

                                   Seasonal Stylings

Starting us off is something I don’t feel i’ve gushed enough about in general but hits it’s stride here: the animation. The show has always had a gorgeous art direction, essentially being a filmation superhero show or a hannah barbera action show if it had the actual budget it deserved, and every season it’s improved from being slightly chonky but still lovely in season 1 to improving on that and helping it become more cinematic in season 2 to the HD upscale last season that reworked the character models to fit the shows art evolution. 

Now with Season 4 and most of the characters getting a redesign the art direction truly has hit it’s stride and it’ll keep, and sometimes up, this level of quality from here on out. Last season was the show upgrading to HD, wisely knowing that’s where things were headed. This year was the show taking that to it’s ultimate form. 

Said redesigns are also all cherry: Brock and co’s sphinx unfiorms should absolutley not work, being poo brown with some gold accents. But they look damn cool and the muted brown fits their off the books gone rogue approach to tackling super villany. LIkewise hank gets my faviorite look for him here, only rivaled by his seasons 6 and 7 rainbow jacket and hella good hair: the grown out hair and brock’s jacket, draped over the team uniform or his pjs depending on what time of day it is. We also get 21′s upgrade to buff as hell wolverine style badass. I also do love Team Venture’s new look, something I didn’t notice as a teen. Ala the fantastic four they now all have the same uniform, with Hank naturally adding his own touch with the jacket. We’ll get more into what that means story wise in a moment but It’s clear jackson and doc took the big changes as an excuse to really have some fun. In the past the characters generally stuck to their classic looks, with only Shelia getting a big change with the dr. mrs the monarch suit  but here everyone in the main cast gets changes great and small with only monarch keeping his classic outfit and SHielia sticking with her change up from last season which fits: both are in the most stable place they’ve been since season 1 so unlike everyone else, who is going thorugh a lot of upheavel, why WOULD they change. 

Change is the theme of the season. The first three seasons had a strong continuity and a mini arc here or there: Richard Impossible’s degrading marriage and sally leaving him, JJ slowly getting disllusioned with his big brother, the order of the triad trying to function as a team, dean’s crush on triana slowly progressing. Just some things on the outskirts. But as far as the main cast was concerned only the monarch had any lasting changes to his life: he had a messy entirely his fault breakup with his girlfriend, got framed by her ex, went to prison, adjusted poorly without her, won her back thanks to a combo of Dr. Henry Killinger (and his magical murder bag) and Shielia realizing why she left limb in the first place, succesfully wedding her despite Phantom Limbs attempted guild mutiny and bride abduction, and having to TRY to not arch venture before eventually finding his way back within the rules. While Malcom didn’t change a LOT as a character he still went through a lot and it effect his arching every time. 

In contrast team venture remained mostly the same. Hank and Dean did evolve as characters, with Hank going from a jock bully moron to an intensely weird, immensely loveable, and entirely specific weirdo who thinks he’s batman instead of barely qualifying for robin and is the only one in his group who enjoys this superhero crap like anyone else caught in this vortex, whlie Dean went from a put upon nerd to a proudly geeky in the 60′s style nerd who is unabashidely optimstic, naive and sweet, while Brock slowly grew to accept his roll as nanny before the stress of it lead to him noping out. Rusty remained pretty much the same asshole just marginally better every season

But their core deal was the same: Doc was a failing super scietnest resulting to increasingly shady side hustles to get by, Brock was his best friend, loyal body guard and constantly failing at his job because Doc won’t listen concisence who kills anything that dares threaten his found family, Hank batusi’s into danger despite having no buisness doing so and dean has a panic attack. together they get arched by a jackass in a butterfly suit (and for one season a recovering pedophile with a military gimmick) when their not on globetrotting adventures or dealing with the remains of rusty’s latest bad decision. The show never rested on it’s formula or anything but there was an inherent saftey in the core status quo. A combination of Brock Mothefucking Sampson and having survived far worse meant that while we knew rusty COULD die in the shit he kept getting thrown into, he probably woudln’t, while the boys not only had the brock saftey net but also the clone one. As long as they were arround, they were imortal. 

Season 3′ sending cleverly cut both safety nets to ribbons: Brock is not only gone but he’s replaced by Hatred. As Jackson put it Brock occasionally did badass herculean feats of strength, stuff no normal man could do and even some paranormal men would say “fuck that” to trying. Hatred is just a middle aged guy who wouldn’t be out of place at possum lodge who only has guns, army/osi/guild training, and inside baseball knowhow of the guild. He can protect his unit sure, but he’s just not the guaranteed instant win button. Meanwhile the clones are gone: they grow in real time and even if Doc COULD make more, The OSI is making sure he DOESN’T. The Boys are the last one he has. 

With the safety net gone and someone whose not even remotely like brock taking up his old duties... it cleverly changes things. The ventures are now bolted to the compound and doc has switched from get rich quick schemes aborad to simply renting out to whoever will take it. The old offsceen adventures are gone and what’s left is a family struggling to hold it together when their heart ripped himself out and walked away. And as a result the family is BARELY holdling it together in this part:  While Doc TRIES to be a parent it only works with dean, who he affectionately mentors. With Hank he’s just somehow even more of an ass to him than anyone he’s ever been an ass to (which given he reached one hundred on the “Rusty Sucks Suprising No One Count” last season is saying something), and Hatred just isn’t good like brock was at ballancing that out, with hank rejecting him most of the time and for understandable reasons (he replaced his dad and also tried to molest him. I can’t blame the kid) Meanwhile hank acts out more as a result of both loosing brock and his dad being a dick. Dean is really the only one whose got it together this season and that’s only by a hair. The family was always dysfunctional but now they’ve hit their lowest point and it will only get marginally better from here. 

It changes up the show.. and for the better. It shakes things up at just the right time: three seasons isn’t a bad amount ot keep a set status quo, getting fans used to the show.. and then shaking it to hell and back like Rusty probably did with the boys as babies. By changing everything the show was allowed to truly grow, having already slowly done so and hit it’s true peak. Anything could happen with Brock gone and it did: 21 became a badass, a new member joined the family, a longtime mainstay in triana exited, and things would only keep c-c-changing from here. And the show would only be better for it.  

                                                  Roll Call

As usual we start with Doc who is trying to be a parent for once, staying at home to try and keep the kids safe.. not that this makes a ton of sense given most of the boys deaths HAPPENED in the home but hey, rusty’s life never makes a ton of sense and the boys have become marginally less death prone, and it is a place where he can keep a better eye on them before they do something suicidally stupid. He’ll NEVER be able to control costumed jackasses attacking him but he can at least try. 

The problem is his efforts are so titled to one side i’m suprised Hank didn’t shoot off into the stratosphere. Doc IS geninely trying with dean, to guide him into doing actual science via giving him a lab (instead of growing experiments in the kitchen) and most heartwarmingly introducing him to his love of pro rock to inspire him. While he’ll be more of a pushy dickhead in later seasons toward dean following in his footsteps, here he’s gentle and when the guild invades his compound and you know, dosen’t realize how utterly horrible any of that would look to everyone inside, especially one fo their ex employees, Rusty not only gently helps his son with his panic vomiting , assuring him that’s half the reason to wear a speedsuit, he actually goes along with dean’s plans to confront them. It dosen’t go anywhere, but it’s heartwarming to see Doc REALLY trying for once, realizing that this is the last son he gets and now Dean CAN grow past being a teenager, it’s time to prepare him

The problem is while he’s being a good parent for once to Dean it’s ONLY Dean. While Hank IS acting out, refusing to accept Hatred as his new bodyguard and calling Doc insults , including my personal faviorite “A Honky”, both for the delivery on that line from Doc and the Monarch understandably snickering.. Doc predictably is being extra obnoxious about one of his sons finally defying his abusive ass. Over the course of the season he geneinly seem to consider not rescuing hank from the monarch (He actually does put in the effort to get him back but still), tries to bar him from using the bathroom, physically abuses him for the first time while blaming him for something he didn’t do and doesn’t really trace back to him, and snarks about Hank working in UPS as an adult. He is just awful to my boy all season and even putting me spiritually adopting hank aside, this is easily the worst i’ve seen rusty. We’ll get WHY he does this next time but it dosen’t make him any less awful for treating hank like this simply for acting out, especially since Rusty himself acted out plenty with his own dad in college. He’s also not great to Hatred.. to a point. His comparing him to brock constantly is just sad as it’s clear by the finale DOC is the reason Brock left the compound. Brock genuienly laments not being able to “tell the boys their safe” and misses them.. but while Doc will always be his close friend it’s clear he’s fed up with his crap and relishes getting to call him an ass. Doc had a good bodyguard by pure luck. Hatred is exactly what he deserves for his threat level and he just can’t accept he has to actually try now. That being said Hatred is also an ex pedophile who begged for the job, shows up naked in Doc’s room during an emergency, and unashamedly talks about how he was masturbating piror to being tranked. And look masturbation shouldn’t be stigmatized.. but Rusty is right Hatred dosen’t need to TELL him about it especially in an emergency. Just because you can and should be able to talk about masterbation dosen’t mean you HAVE to bring it up when you don’t have to. 

We also have Doc finally get some therapy.. only to chuck it deciding he’s better than everyone else in the group. Which.. he is to a point. He makes a good point how unlike the hardy boys by way of the mendez brothers, patton oswalt’s robin and action johnny he is better off.. but being better off than the REST of his group dosen’t mean he’s better. It’s honestly.. sad. Doc DOES need help, he does need to grow but because the Monarch can’t grow up for five minutes and accept Rusty can have one night a week he dosen’t get arched, he looses that and convinces himself he dosen’t need it back. Once again the adventure life has cost him peace of mind, but this time he just accepts it. He probably would be more pissed the Monarch was interfering with his life than that he actually caused his therapy to end. Rusty NEED help: he has decades of trauma, abuses his kids, and is a former addict. He NEEDS someone to help him through his issues so he can be better... but the thing about mental health is you NEED to want help or it’s not going to take. You need to WANT help. 

We’re also given the heartbreaking reason WHY he hasn’t gotten help: SHOCKINGLY Jonas gaslit his own son, playign therapist while really just bullying rusty for not wanting to have a grown man put an empty gun to his head and whisper “not today rusty”. Yeah even if Jonas isn’t playing the HUGE roll he did last season he still gets worse this season. So it’s easy to see why Rusty turned out this way and sad to see he can’t see the way to dig himself out of the hole his own poor decisions and his father's abuse buried him in. 

Now onto Hank who out of the two boys gets the most development this season and part of that is his dope outfit change. I’m not one to take the side door, i’ll go up front and knock: i’m not a fan of Hank’s classic outift. It’s not terrible and provides a nice color contrast to Deans and as Hank points out this season he can rock a kerchief but it never worked for me. So it’s probably not a coincidence teen me finally noticed just how awesome hank was the same time he got a sweet new outfit, getting his own team uniform while adding Brock’s Jacket to it and growing out his hair. It’s not supposed to be neat looking, it’s what a teenager is supposed to think is cool and past me can confirm but evne as an adult it just flows better and fits hanks insane personality better. It’s also part of why I feel the season splits into halves so well: Hank in part 1 is a different hank than hank in part 2 down to sadly shedding the hair cut and eventually the jacket.. though he keeps the speedsuit and gets some other fun outfits next season, so it still works out and he thankfully grows his hair back to an even better style during the new york era. I don’t hate shaved hank but I prefer him with some hair as it just looks better. 

Anyways, Hank has taken his only positive role model leaving him poorly and thus is changing the most. Dean loved him and misses him too.. but to Hank brock was everything: he was the one he tried to be a kid sidekick to, the mulleted ladies man badass who let him hang out in his room and quite honestly... his dad. Doc can barely be assed to be a parent so while Hank treats him like a dad.. Brock actually ACTED like one. He was tough but fair with him and actually bothered to spend time with hank and teach him stuff. And now he’s simply stuck with the bitter resentful jackass who clearly prefers his brother not going on adventures anymore. 

When you look at his changes... he’s TRYING to be brock since he can’t have brock: he’s wearing his jacket , growing out his hair and taking up Brock’s place of busting Doc’s balls. Granted part of that is also that hank needs someone to blame so he lashes out at the guy who replaced him and the guy who clearly drove him away in hanks eyes... which is part of it but not the ENTIRE reason Brock left, so fair enough. He just wants Brock back and is in denial that he’s gone. Well okay he’s on the same yard, but he’s not present. It makes two parts of the premire in paticular heartbreaking: The first is Brock’s full exit: while he did quit at the end of the season it’s clear no one on Team Venture bought he was really leaving.... until he does, running out to escape the OSI and leaving his watch behind. While both boys are devistated.. it’s Hanks face that’s the most hurt. Brock not only REALLY is leaving.. but he didn’t say goodbye. It’s why Hank retreats into blaming everyone else but Brock for leaving: because he can’t take the idea his mentor, his dad, REALLY thought so little of him as to leave and really didn’t care about him. He does of course and Brock really just left because he had no time to say goodbye and it hurt him to know he was close to his kids but coudln’t see them, but to Hank it’s just his favorite person in the world leaving. 

The hardest one though is the end of the same episode when we catch up with real time.. and see Brock with Sphinx. Jackson’s performance is utterly heartbreaking. He hugs his missing father figure.. before asking some pretty soul crushing questions, sounding not like the fearless, reckless, endlessly confident doofus we love.. but a scared child wondering why his father left him. His “why did you leave me” just.. breaks me every time i’ve heard it, and the “Why didn’t you say goodbye right before” .. it’s just utterly heartsmashing to see hank break like this and you can tell Brock just wants to tell him but knows Sphinx needs to remain in the shadows both for it’s good and Hanks and asks to share him a while. He dosen’t even properly comfort the kid he has to go before that. It’s not one of brock’s better acts, basically asking hank to hide he was there, and thus any chance of finding him and to just accept he’s gone.. but the fact it’s not so simple, that Brock knows what he’s doing is hurting them both... it’s masterful writing. 

It’s just a half a season of a sad child wondering when his dad will come home while having a LOT of shit piled on him. And i’m not exagerating: in the span of 8 episodes he only gets to see brock for five seconds and gets no good reason why he left, gets kidnapped by a man trying to make him into his new sidekick instead of you know, get therapy while his dad only tries to rescue him because he has to, thinks he killed his brother, gets blamed for said brother’s deranged clone’s actions, gets kidnapped AGAIN this time by one of his only friends, has said friend block his view at the movies, then has to use himself as bait to help prevent his new bodyguard from having a spiral back into pedophilia. it was dressed up as his ex wife, to be clear, but it’s still no less fucked up. I didn’t even realize it till I rewatched this batch: hank goes through a lot and the fact he got through all of this his usual dopey self speaks to his resielnce. The kid has been through so much shit before and after this season and he just keeps going, happy as ever and as determined to be batman as ever. 

The season does compensate though by showing some real growth in hank:  While he’s still far more skilled in his head than in reality, he does show some flashes of actual skill: he has a robin style battle as wonder boy with 21 and the monarch and while both are going easy on him (21 ONLY punching him because he was being a little dick), and the monarch as he needs his hostage, he still dodges both fairly well and dosen’t get recaptured and for someone who used to get kidnapped every other week, that’s a win. He later manages to stall the bulk of the guild of the calamtous intent’s military simply by stonewalling them with the intercom. Granted again the opponent didn’t have killing intent, but not only did hank NOT know they didn’t and was willing to put his life on the line if they did, but their still highly trained, deadly strangers who still got outwitted by a 16-17 year old weirdo who did it by treating them like telemarketers. Hank is starting to go from someone who thinks he’s badass to the true badass he was destined to be.

He’s also grown emotionally. I mean he’s still hank.. we still get the whole conversation with hank where he asks if he has a “weird dingus” becauase he assumes gay people are transgender and somehow manages to be unwittingly trans and homophobic all at once.. but in the same sentence his response to being asked if he’s ashamed of his ignorance, even just a little?” “Constantly” it’s both hilarious but shows hank is’nt a malicious idiot, just one raised by Rusty who isn’t the most socially concious guy on a good day and he hasn’t had a good day in 20 years.

Hank first shows it in said captain sunshine episode. While he’s more than happy to basically be robin after a Kevin Conroy voiced combo of superman and batman kidnaps him without realizing he’s not an orphan (or that dean exists), to be his new ward, especially since for all his awkwardness, Sunshine isn’t a dick like his actual dad. It’s everything hank could possibly want, especially since we later learn that cap took over from his butler/dad desmond, meaning Hank would be a shoe in to basically become a rainbow combo of batman  and superman. But it just.. isn’t right and hank can see that. The Good Captain hasn’t moved on from loosing wonder boy, breaks down frequently, nearly beats a guy to death and in general just ISN’T ready to take on a surrogate son and is trying to make hank into someone he isn’t. Hank isn’t wonder boy and he sees Captain sunshine needs help not a young ward.. and givne he clearly gets one later it sadly didn’ take. But hank tried and it says a lot when the hank of a few seasons ago probably would’ve been a lot harder to convince to come home. but this hank, even if his home sucks.. it’s where he needs to be. 

His next big moment comes in “The Revenge Society”. IT’s not one of his finest hours to start as he preys on Hatred’s fear to try and steal his dad’s playboys and other shenanigans.. but Hatred is able to get through to his moral center by guilt tripping him without hank even realizing it. It shows that while Hank is willing to get into shenanigans when he realizes there is real stakes he’ll try and as we saw he didn’t do bad. And he eventually did find those playboys thanks to karma. So good for him

Finally we have The Better Man, which I didn’t expect to have choice Hank as I remembered everything else going on in that one more, but here we are. While Hank being the one to finally break it to dean he’s not in a relationship with Triana and it’s not headed that way, the fact he does so rather well and with minimum hank is what stuck out to me. I do say minimum as he opens his questions to dean with “Have you seen her naked”

But the rest are honest ways to get Dean to realize their relationship hasn’t gone anywhere past platonic: “Have you kissed her?” “have you held her hand?” “Have you gone shopping with her?” And is the last one a tad accidentally sexist... yes. It’s hank... but the fact they really HAVEN’T hung out in a coupley way is a fair point. And frankly given the fact Hank was raised by every woman’s nightmare and a serial womanizer i’m shocked his advice is not only entirely on the nose but functional. Granted his next move is to take Dean to the mall and literally throw him at girls after making him look like Rufio but he’s trying. He even gives Dean a well deserved “touche” when he tries to razz his brother for “falling in love with the first girl to live in your backyard”.. only to be reminded of his longstanding crush on the mail lady (”In my defense she had very attractive shorts”). Hank is just sweet here.. entirely out of his depth, he woudln’t be any good at this till season 6, and it’s nice to see the two really gelling as brothers despite the divide between them growing by the day. After half a season of Doc being said wedge, it’s nice to just see Hank try and help dean and the two really hang out again. Pity it won’t last but we still got a few moments with them to savor before we get to .. that one. But I got a few months before I have to dissect that trainwreck of a creative decision. Hank’s at his best. 

Dean also changes a bit this season piece, just not as dramatically as hank. He’ll get his turn in Season 5. For now he’s still the same loveable little goody two shoes whose anxious as hell about this life yet geninely seems to still want it on some level.. he just has the kind of pencil mustache most boys get as a teenager.

His progress though is neat: He tries super science for the first time and while Doc’s treatment of hank absolutely sucks, him mentoring dean is adorable and a this stage, while as we'll see next season half open to other careers he genuinely WANTS to try  science, and relishes getting his own lab for a bit. He also takes to prog rock which is a sweet bit of father and son sharing a hobby. It’s also neat to see the parallel with his own dad: both of them WANT to continue science like their father before them and seem to really enjoy it.... it’s just the costumed crap that comes with it really bothers them. Doc is numb to it but for Dean.. he just wants it to stop on some level. Dean actually having some enthuastic for science here is important as he tries to drive away from it: he can do it.. it’s a question of SHOULD he do it that will span the rest of the series and probably the movie. Still no word in the last 5 months dammit. 

The other bit is the beginning of the end for a series mainstay: Triana Orpheus leaves the cast this part and while she’ll return for Operation PROM, she’s gone from then on. And surprisingly her departure WASN’T doc’s breakup with her va or simply just not caring: She was intended to come back... it’s just they never found an opportunity and probably won’t with the movie. The reason was simple: She was growing up and at the age she’d leave the nest and the boys just wren’t there yet. This super science world just wasn’t her. She was fairly normal and thus had to move on. Granted she did so by going to train to be a sorcerer supreme like her dad because it pays more than art school would, but still it was her version of going on to college, something Dean himself would need a season and a half more to get to. 

And honestly while I do feel the character could have an awesome return down the line, I seriously doubt Jackson and Doc will stop entirely and now they don’t have the show they could continue in comics if they wanted, I do feel she just lost her place in the show: Dermott was working better as a link to the outside world, especially as he and dean slowly grew to tolerate each other, the rest of the order served as better non-doc foils to orpheus, and Dean really didn’t need a love interest especially if they had no intention of going anywhere with it. At the end of the day she was a very normal person in a very abnormal world who just had no place being there other than her dad happened to be part of it. IT made sense to ship her off so she’d become more part of it and she simply hasn’t drifted back yet because her dad, her primary link to the show, slowly drifted out of focus.. and while she could easily exist independent of him if she and dean patched it up as friends, which is plausible he did end things dickishly but she seems forgiving enough and Dean seems like he’d offer a hell of an apology for being a butt (We’ll get to that incident last time), but she needs that link to her dad to hook her back in to have anything to do with our cast of loveable assholes. 

So having Dean move on was what the show needed and how they do it is good: Hank gets him to see his relationship with triana while POSSIBLE hasn’t gone anywhere, and after again his brother lovingly shoved him into some teen girls, just talking to one and seeing where it goes (Nowhere as it turns out), taking Dermott’s advice allow shim to TRY to move on. Granted his trying to quickly backtrack when he “breaks up with triana’ shows he’s not over her and sadly.. as good as an ending as him “breaking it off” and her humoring him with both parting as friends WOULD’VE been.. this is the venture bros. Things often don’t end well fo rour heroes.. and it’s often their fault. And sadly it’ll be dean’s fault when we pick this thread up again next time. 

Next up we have our new and for better or worse pemenant addition to the family: Sgt. Hatred. His replacing Brock was far from a popular move, something Jackson and Doc knew would happen so the question is.. was adding him to the main cast a good idea?

I do think hatred isn’t a TERRIBLE character: replacing brock with a far less compitent, emotoinally open and loud replacement works comedically and it’s fun to see Doc be the sane one in a bodyguard super scientest relationship for a change, and as I said he can be competent in the right context. He also does have some genuinely great moments: his letting hank shoot him to gain his trust, while utterly insane, is also bizzarely touching: he just wants the kid to trust him and can’t get through to him. And the entire scene with him and doc in return to malice is pure magic: from him showing up basically naked to just.. casually admitting he was masturbating, it shoudln’t work but it does. 

The problem is the elephant in the room, something Jackson and Doc obviously shoudl’ve seen as a problem in promoting this character beyond supporting and of having him around long term but clearly didn’t: Sgt. Hatred was a pedophile. He is a reformed one: he takes medication (If an injection in the neck because of the show we’re in and whose giving him the drugs), geninely regrets what he did seeing it as being in a dark place, and it’s revealed part of why he kept it up for so long is the Guild saw this.. as an asset

So it’s not like they aren’t writing him as a guy TRYING to reform from being this monster in the past terribly. When he runs out of his drugs while at the last film in a fantasy trilogy with the boys, he well.. runs out and locks himself in the panic room, not wanting to harm any innocent children. He’s TRYING not to be a pedophile.

The issue is they just don’t handle the topic well. At all. Venture Bros deals with many issues with great nuance. Doc is a great example, being both utterly loathsome but also on some level pitable. You don’t forgive how he treats the boys.. but you get WHY he’s like this and thus can sympathize with him on occasoin without forgettnig what an ass he is. But with Hatred it just dosen’t work

As for why for starters they mostly use his pedophila as a punchline and wanting to sleep with children.. isn’t funny. It just isn’t. I never really found that shit funny and I find it even less funny now I have neices, nephews and niblings to worry about. Kids getting horribly scarred for life by being raped is not funny and it never will be. So having jokes about Hatred still having child porn on his computer aren’t funny. Him wanting to go to thailand to buy a child isn’t funny.  And worst of all him RAPING BILLY because he looks like a chlild isn’t funny. Yes they made one of the main cast a rapist. I only vaugley remember it happening and while they don’t outright say he did it, the implication is VERY clear. He’s naked, he’’s happya nd billy is horrified to find out he was clearly raped. It is easily the worst joke in the entire series thus far, and as good as the series is that is not an easy title. But just casually having one of your main cast rape a person for a joke is just.. holy shit. I didn’t think the show sunk this low. 

I could stop at “he raped billy” as reasons I no longer like the character, but the fact he tried to rape the boys, if offscreen, in season 2 DOES NOT HELP. He did and part of hank’s reluctance is that exact incident and they just kinda.. brush past it. And whlie brushing past horrible shit is usually the show’s bread and butter and usually works you just.. can’t casually walk off the fact the guy now in charge of the boys care once tried to rape them. You can’t. Having someone more pathetic as the new bodyguard was a good idea.. but adding hatred to the main cast was a VERY bad one and only made the character worse. And yes i’m focusing mostly on raping billy but it says to me that even WITH the drugs Sgt. Hatred would gladly resume raping if he could get away with it. He suffers ZERO consequences from this and it’s treated as a gag because “DUR IT’S A MAN”. And look on the whole the “men getting raped is acceptable trope” is fucking disgusting and needs to be burned, thrown off a cliff and into a pool of acid.  This one gag destroys any chance of me ever carring about this character again and i’m willing to double down on that. There’s nothing I remember in the rest of this season that really adds to him as a character enough, he never apologizes and next season thinks “giving him boobs” is funny which

But we’ll get to that. I get the sense Jackson really likes working with the character but he also says shit like “We don’t relaly go into that side of him” on his pedophilia.. and that it’s just a “sword of damocles hanging over his head”

And I do love Jackson and Doc but man oh man when they fuck up it tends to be dramatic and noticeable, like the moppets last season. Adding hatred to the main cast was one of the series biggest mistakes, something I realized more and more as I wrote this section. It’s a miracle this season is as good as it is despite ole hatred. 

Okay that was a lot of hatred in both senses of the word. Thankfully we’re on to the last of the clan venture, Brock. Brock left the family and while some shows would resolve this cliffhanger fast, Jackson and Doc wisely decided to keep brock away, and using his story as bookends for this part of the season was genius. Blood Of the Father, Heart of Steel, wisely dosen’t keep us waiting a whole season to see where Brock is now, which was also to prevent fans from hunting them down and burning them in a brock themed wicker man, but still it did it’s job of keeping us informed while still keeping the mystery up to the finale. We see brock escape (and the heartbreaking scene of the boys realizing he’s REALLY gone), go on a wilderness sabatical with steve summers and sasquatch, two characters I honestly DIDN’T think ever returned properly, and finally going after the people who screwed him over. It dosen’t qutie work out with mol, but he does find out what Hunter was up to.. and joins him.. likely as hunter planned. We then see him and shore leave at the top of the season and while on the surface the scene, him trying to get hank to calm down despite having every reason to you know.. apologize or anything, dosen’t paint him in the best light i’ts clear later why.

And that later is the finale. It was a MASSIVE gamble to get rid of Brock for so long, especially since we fans watching.. had no idea if he was coming back or not. I wrote embarrassing fan fiction between seasons, that I thankfully didn’t post online and I can tell you I just.. didn’t think he was coming back. didn’t replace him with anybody but I just wrote him off and went on with shipping dean and triana because I was a naive little idiot like dean so I glommed onto that relationship. 

But of course the guys always planned to bring him back as they knew the fans might accept brock being gone a few episodes, or half a season, but wouldn’t accept him leaving the main cast for too long. It’s why this season feels like two seasons really: brock is gone for this part, and next part his coming back and SPHINX! now being open with their presence on the compound changes things.

Speaking of which we have the shakeup with finding out just WHY Hunter went Rogue. As it turns out it wasn’t for no reason but simply because he had grown tired of how the OSI runs things. Easy to see why too: as we’ve seen now we know the orginzation better the most they do against the guild is try to do covert stuff with guys like doe and cardholder, they never vindicated brock and hunter for going after them despite not only learning one of their own was compromised, but that Phantom Limb was indeed working with the guild, and the entire operation with brock, while setup by hunter himself, was utterly bungled: they tried talking to him sure... but with a giant army on his doorstep. Of a guy who takes out giant armies on a regular basis. They didn’t try talking or doing any investigative work, they just went in guns a blazing and assumed he’d gone crazy or flipped to the guild despited neither making sense. So wanting to not only break from that but take out the guys the other orginzation are missing, i.e. super science nuts who plan world domination or dirty bombs, makes sense.. and it makes sense why Brock would join them despite hutner’s betrayal. He was probably still mad at him at first but after so long having to take it on the chin getting to go after the costumed set and co who step out of line.. it had to be cathartic. It was a chance ot do real good for the world instead of babysitting a garbage fire or doing the work of an orignzation who clearly hadn’t cared about him. Hutner did use him true... he could’ve just.. given brock a job offer and he woudl’ve considered it. Then again he woudln’t be hutner if he did. But I get why Brock took it: this is a chance for a fresh start away from the OSI

It’s not away from the family as it turns out he was on compound for months, and the pain of not being able to tell the boys they were safe was a lot. Noticably though he dosen’t seem to have missed doc much.. can’t say I blame him. And the second he gets a chacne as seen in the stinger, he reconnects and as we’ll see next time, makes it so the boys aren’t being mindwipped anymore. Partly for their good.. but it’s clear he misses them. They’ll never not be his family.. but you can’t blame him for hitting burnout and wanting to go back to doing cool superspy crap that for once feels like it has a real purpose. The guy he and Shore Leave take out on a mission had a geninely dangerous weapon and was a genine asshole. It also is clear from said mission Brock is HAPPY where he is. Hunter still isn’t the most ethical boss, trying to keep what’s going on with monstroso from brock, but frankly to be a spy master while you have to have SOME ethics, you can’t have a ton so fair on him. But he and Shore Leave go from two guys who hardly knew each other to best friends, and Brock seems far happier doing this than killing the monarch’s men. Before he was just slaughtering for a job. Now he has a purpose and he’s happy. And now he has the boys back he truly has everything.. or almost.. but we’ll get to her next time.  Also yeah lotta next times this review but that’s what happens when you review half a season and given i’ve put out THIS much for just half a season. .you can see why I cut it

Onto the Monarch and the Mrs who.. honestly haven’t changed much. And it makes sense to not really rock the boat with them: the two have had two seasons straight of upheavel from their breakup to adjusting to their marriage and a venture free life. It’s fine to let 21 be the one to really change and evolve this season and just let them do what they do: come up with elaborate schemes for a guy who coudln’t care less and try and talk their husband out of the dumber parts while supporting him best she can respecitvely. It’s just nice after their relationship was dead for almost all of season 2 and struggling a bit in season 3 to let them just be happy. 

The only real change is the Monarch does up his game. Clearly being away from Venture only made him think of new ways to torment him, starting with the geninely clever scheme of ransoming the boys, knowing Doc’s main weakness is his checkbook. He only even gets the money because Billy and White got startup money. His other schemes are more classic monarch from the scarionette canon, to preventing venture’s therapy because he’s a selfish prick, to his half assed plan with monstroso that nearly destroy shim. HE hasn’t really changed as a person but he is trying more than just the old game of cat and also cat with Venture and it’s fun to see. Shielia is also largely the same and I don’t really have anything to say about her. 

Now we have our main event, as 24′s death has utterly changed Gary, transforming him from an out of shape geek with no competence to a ripped geek whose vowed to not loose another henchman. He’s got cool wrist glove claws, is respected and feared by his fellow henchman, and even ignoring the brock factor is actually getting mortality rates down. It’s like Jackson and Doc outlined when talking about the finale in the art book: what happens to half a comedy duo when the other half dies? What was two friends throwing out a really dumb suggestion became one of the series most intresting arcs. No one , myself included, saw Gary turning into this but it was the right call, taking a stale double act and instead building it’s better half into one of the shows best characters.

And part of that is he’s still gary. He still has a chest of nerdy stuff, still pines for dr. girlfriend, botches water tourture and goes to a fantasy movie on an unexpected night off after dropping off a viper for his boss. What makes him so intresting is he’s STILL gary.. he’s just the best version of himself. or almost. I mean he still talks to his best friends ghost.. or what he thinks it is. And given his harsh reaction to the idea that he isn’t really a ghost it’s clear he may not even be that.. but that hard truth comes next time. For now it’s clear that while Gary has bettered himself and is close to his best self he’s also still torutured by 24′s death via said “ghost” chats and  hunting his killers, kidnaping the boys and later scraping with brock. This part of the arc isn’t over.

That said before we move on from him and to the last part of the cocoon his fight with brock is easily one of the best shows of character development i’ve seen: mimicking his earlier lightsaber debacle, Gary instead punches brock at the boo and when left bloody his response is “bring it”. He’s gone from a geek super running away to a geek who get sto be the fucking wolverine. While Gary of course looses, it is brock freaking sampson he got said brock freaking sampson’s respect. Gary. Of all characters GARY geninely earned one of the biggest badass’ respect and got to team up with him to finish the score, showing no fear as he faced the physical equal of the kingpin... or blockbuster. either way motherfucker big , strong and ready to beat his ass. Gary ends this half a hero.. and may just like the sound of that. 

Finally we have the Moppets and thank fucking god, Jackson and Doc listened to fans. Given how stubborn they can be on that, we’ll get to the kim thing again next time, it’s nice they relaized they didn’t work and their only apperances are getting dragged by their bosses: the monarch gets an UTTERLY awesome scene when they try to keep him from leaving his house. His response?

“I'm only gonna say this once. I don't like you two. And if you ever, ever try to give me an order again I will kill you both and feed your tiny, rotting bodies to the neighborhood dogs!! Now what were you saying?“

It shows that clearly the ONLY reaosn he put up with them for so long.. is that he wasn’t at the top of his game, still effed up from not getting to arch Venture. Once he can.. we finally get cathariss after a season of their shit. While it wasn’t say 21 getting one on them, that’s next season and it is also glorious, it was so damn good. Likewise is Dr. Mrs not only calling them out for tattling on 21 in the finale, but admitting she finds them creepy. It’s just nice to finally not have to seriously deal with them as characters.

Okay onto the supporting cast. The big one is Dr. Orpheous, who goes thorugh what’s sadly his last bout of character development. He does get two more episodes where he gets a lot of focus: “Assisted Suicide” and “A Very Venture Halloween”.. but this is the last time the show really feels like it cares about progressing him as a person, with him being absent from season 6 since they coudln’t squeeze him in and only returning for the morphic trilogy after, and only one of those eps focuses on him. It’s sad to see the era of his relevance end.. but easy to see why. While the magic stuff is fun, it just dosen’t mesh entirely with this weird world of costumes and super science. It fits in enough that Dr. O isn’t out of place or ever fully removed, but it’s not enough he can easily be brought into plots. He’s a magic guy in a super science and b-list costumed villian type show. He has a great cast, a great personality and is truly one of the shows greatest characters.. but ultimately he’s a relic from a time when the show threw everything at the wall to see what stuck and now the guild and super spy stuff is sticking in additoin to the usual venture hyjinks.. he just dosen’t work as a mainstay anymore. Supporting cast yes, it was a crime he was left out of season 6 as understandable as said crime was, but his time in the sun is over and i’ll miss it. 

That being said he does leave being in the main cast with one hell of an episode: The Better Man is truly excellent and works simply by bringing in Orpheus real nemisis: The Outrider aka his former apprentice or as Dr. O puts it “THE MAN WHO STOLE MY WIFFEEEE!” or in laymans terms the guy who made him a 

So he naturally does what Dr. O does: mad that the outrider also reached the second world he’s desperate to find out why... while even Triana can see he just desperatley wants to prove he’s better in the vain hope of getting back with his ex which naturally the master mocks him with by transforming into her. and so he can jumprope naked but hey he’s likely alone in that room for hours. He’s gotta find SOMETHING to do. But he makes a valid point: none of this is going to make him better than the outrider and he’s only pissed because the outrider once again beat him. Granted Dr. O, as usual with the master, didn’t take it right away and tries to find a portal... but despite his issues his true character does show when the outrider emerges from the portal. He sees that while this is still the bastard his wife cheated on him with, and is within his rights to resent the man.. at the end of the day... he’s not a terrible person. He did a bad thing.. but he also went ot hell and back to hlep torid. It backfired but he still did. So when given a chance to lie about his death and just leave him there comotase and truly win.. he dosen’t even consider it. He takes the man back to help him, finding out the Outrider cheated to get ahead dangerously putting a magical artifact in his brain via trepanning

And it isn ‘t as removing the thing he used for it with special brother of the order of the triad billy, they get stuck between worlds and only get out because Jefferson’s magic. That is a nice bit of character stuff itself (Don’t worry Al fans, he gets his next time). After once again feeling useless for being the team normal in a team of magic guys, Jefferson finds out he’s between worlds. It’s not exactly useful for every day but for one moment he’s their only way out and gets to enjoy it. 

Importantly for orpheous though.. he makes peace with the outrider. Even allowing him to take triana with him to her mothers. He realizes ultimately that while the Outrider did sleep with his wife, still never going to not downplay he slept with his masters wife, the marriage falling apart was due to his work.. he wasn’t a great husband or father... and he accepts it and treis to be better.

And that leads to Triana’s exit. While I covered most of it above, and it’s a great turn for her character, what’s most telling is that this is the tenth time the master has done this. Granted he does so by dickishly resembling dean’s worst possible future because he fucking sucks nad dosen’t get triana isn’t THAT intrested, I love the guy but he is the worst sometimes, but still he, and likely the audience expects orpheus will just mind wiper her again.. but instead he dose’nt. He clearly listens to her and let’s his daughter go. And while it truly hurts.. it’s also him accepting that just because his life has been rough because of his job.. dosen’t mean hers will. She can be better than him and it’s up to him to let her. As for why her mom and stepdad that’s easy: Orpheus likely knows he coudln’t teach her properly himself as he’d be holding himself back or trying to keep her safe, something her mother won’t do as much. She’ll keep her safe.. but she’ll also let her go. And so Dr. O let’s his daughter go and we let him go... he’ll still be around but... this is the end of his true relivance and it will be missed. 

We then have Billy and White. Their arc won’t come full circle till next time, but they have money now. So that’s a thing. The real notable thing about billy is that they up the abuse the poor guy takes: he has his money stolen, gets kidnapped twice for surgery, gets raped and gets mindwiped by an abusive asshole. The show just makes the poor guy into a punchline and it’s not funny.. especially the rape thing which yes I still haven’t let go. How the fuck have I not thought about how messed up this is more? Did I just block it out? 

Finally out of the notable side cast we have Shoreleave. HE dosen’t do much this half, just be awesome, but it is the start of his evolution from minor shipwreck from bibleman parody into proudly gay badass, expert marksman and all around great character. He’s only prominent in the last episode but boy does god damn does he make an entrance and he’ll only get better from here. 

                                                Episode Guide:

40. Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel

Summary: In parallel stories showing where are heroes are post season 3-finale, Brock Of Ages goes on the run from the OSI, paints some terrible paintings, gets a gut, looses a gut and joins his old bosses rogue spy agency. Meanwhile Hank grows his hair out, Hatred moves in, Gary’s life savings are destroyed and Dean gets a dog that turns out to be hitler. So average tuesday for Team venture.  My Thoughts: I didn’t remember this episode all that well before rewatching it. It’s fair enough as a LOT’s going on and thus my brain gravitated to the bullet points: Brock starting up with SPHINX, nazis, dean having a boy and his dog plot but the dog has the reincarnated soul of hitler. You knkow the stuff you remember. That said rewatching it it’s a decent episode. I earlier had the take Jackson and Doc aren’t great at premires when really they have hit it out of the park at times with Shadowman 9, Hostile Makeover and Curse of the Haunted Problem... it’s just often these episodes aren’t AS good as what to come and this is the purest example of that. It’s not bad, and the stuff with hitler is some of the series funniest stuff from the casual (for him) way orpheus tells dean his dog is the “spawn of hell”, to dr. venture being fed up with nazi’s for being cliche rather than nazis, to his “Wait.. you guys are nazis” and of course the iconic line “I love hitler and hitler loves me!”. The brock stuf fis fine, including his shitty photo, but this ep is really just that. Fine. It has a neat gimmick but isn’t the best or the worst and if I ranked every episode which...

So yeah a solid middle tier episode that helps set everything up right and has some all time classic jokes, and the fact a mid range episode in this season has so much iconic stuff says something about the season as a whole.  Best Moment: “I”ll pay you ten bucks not to shoot your dad” ALMOST won, it was very close.. but I gotta give it to Doc’s “Wait.. you guys are Nazi’s! James deilveriy is just perfect.. just the right sorta “this again” baffled tone like they were a sitcom neighbor whose dog crapped in his yard again and not you know, The Fourth Reich.  Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 102. Refusing to you know.. actually look up the Marvel Comic and then letting it get beat up by the kids. Though I will give him credit for not working with actual nazis.  Hanktastic:Hank’s confidence he can shoot a bullet off his dad’s belt buckle and have it ricochet. Again “I’ll pay you ten bucks not to shoot your dad” is an all time classic line. The wolf mask is also neat.  Deanarific: “I love hitler, and hitler loves me! He’s not all bad, Hitler just needs someone to belivie in him. can’t you just give hilter a chance?” part of it is for how delebertly out of context the episode stages it but it’s mainly just Mike’s through commitment to the bit.  Questions For Later: Gary being with a larp group and disappearing for some time will come up in a few episodes, while the Brock SPHINX mystery gets solved end of season.  First Appearance: Hitler Reincarnated as a Dog. I mean normally I save this only for characters who I know show up again, as to not clog it but some things only happen once in your career and you gotta take your shot. 

                                         41. Handsome Ransom

Summary: The Monarch what kidnaps the boys again but this time plans to ransom them to bankrupt his arch foe.. only for one of his utter arch foes to swoop in and take hank. So while Hank hangs out with a literal sunshine superman voiced by THE batman and gets creeped out a little, Doc scrambles to get the money and keep it and the monarch scrambles to get hank back before his scheme unravels.  My Thoughts: This episode.. wasn’t as good on rewatch. As Jackson himself admits the jokes, having batman come off as a pedophile (Though not actually be one in this case), comparisoins to micheal jackson and just general stuff. It drags the episode down slightly. That said.. it’s still not BAD. It’s just the main “He comes off like a pedophile joke” isn’t funny the first time they say it aand isn’t that funny by the time Monarch comes out and says that’s what it is. But the stuff around it is filled with great jokes: Hank having called Doc a honkey (and The Monarch naturally loving this fact), the constant treating of dean as half a person, something he takes in stride, tiny money hatred, “It’s chuck scarsdale, hide or we’ll be on the news!”, the sheer dumbassery of the monarch’s plan and the truly awesome freedom fighters pastiche. This episode is full of too much gold to be TOO bad. 

Though while the sunshine has a bit too many pedophile jokes, especialy in a season where they have an actual pedophile living with hank, it ends up not tanking entirley thanks to one man: Kevin Fucking Conroy. THE batman playing a parody of batman with a lot of superman in him. It’s Kevin’s being fully game to play this sad, desperate and untetionalyl creepy version of him that works. From the calling a sleepover to the PTSD laden shouts of WONDERBOYYYYY to his breakdown, kevin both gives the character perfect silver age comedic timing (doubled thanks to said things being said by THE post silver age batman. Love you keaton but... he’s the chosen one), and pathos: i’ts clear he’s a man who hasn’t moved on and needs help and sadly never gets it as we see later. He’s a tragic character, not reailizing how broken his cycle is or how he threw out his second wonder boy. I wish the character had come back to get developed more, but hey Kevin’s a busy man and sunshine dosen’t easily fit into the show, so I undrestand. Overall again not a top tier episode like I used to think but still a hell of a good time, as well as one i’d use to intro people to the show.  Best Moment: Hank having called Rusty a Honky, mostly for again James delivery. THe Monarch and Hank sniggering over it just completes it.  Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 104. Insulting Dean for no reason, as funny as it is and outright threatning not to rescue hank.  Hanktastic: Again, calling his dad a Honky Deanarific: Just how he takes his dad treating him as just.. a casual object of little intrest is hilarious. He just dosen’t care. He’s just happy to be included.  Questions For Later: Desmond will be important next time.  First Appearance: Captain Sunshine and Desmond

42. Perchance to Dean (Pissed in God’s Eye Award Winner) 

Summary: Doc introduces Dean to the power of Prog rock, a cloned dean does this

Hank thinks he killed dean and Doc gets arrested and blames it on hank due to some wacky circumstances.  My Thoughts: Yeah not even a close race. Every other episode this halfa season is either a true classic or at least watchable. This one, while still loaded with some good jokes.. is neither of those. It’s not as bad as past season’s bombs but it still dosen’t work, something Jackson acknoledges. I feel Clone Dean is just too sad and horrific to really fit with the show’s tone well which does have unedning horror but threaded with laughs. But a sad teenager hunchback whose haunted by a hallucination of his dad urging him to kill.. I just want to give the poor kid a hug that dosen’t end in an explosion. It just dosen’t work. It also ups the hank abuse with hank getting grounded for.. some idiots thinking the compound is a cult.. whic his a fair assumption but isn’t fair to hank. The episode is dark and mean spirited in a way this show just usually isn’t.. dark yes, while the show isn’t over the top dark it’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. But it’s usually used for black comedy, like having a scooby doo group resembling famous serial killers or an orphan heart powered fantasy machine. The show can get dark.. but it usually either uses it for drama effectively or for a laugh.  An the show will do horror later iwth the morphic trilogy and worse stuff than this, but they just aren’t there yet.  Best Moment: “He’s in a floyd hole!” Just the way James delivers that line man three in a row so far. I swear this is the best season (or part of one but semantics) for James deliveries.  Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: Hanktastic: Hank’s response to dermott being suprised he didn’t know they weren’t using acid “What am I bill  nye the science guy? I don’t know what any of this stuff does. “  Rusty Sucks Suprising No One:... better strap in. Trying to BAN HANK FROM THE BATHROOM, insuiating both that he’ll work in package delivery and doing so as a classist as hell dig (Ironically he DOES end up as a delivery  boy but i’m not giving rusty any points for that. Most teens work food service), HITTING his son, and grounding him based on flimsy evidence when he has no reason to think hank did that especiallya fter he saw the clone explode. So that’s 5 for the supremely fucked up first one, 1 for the second, 10 for the hit (while verbal violence dosen’t > phsyical violence he still hit him repeadtely), and 5 for the last one. so 21 for a grand total of 125 Deanarific: Hard choice given, for all the episodes weaknesses we have a lot of good dean this episode, including the beautiful as hell prog rock sequences.. but I gotta give it to his weird belieif there’s a hair fairy.  Hatred Paedo Jokes: We start tracking these with Hatred telling the police not to check his computer. Yes he still keeps chlid porn around 1. Also yes I had to add another running thing and i’m sure given my track record, this won’t be the last. I already have one in mind for season 6.  Dermott is Spare Parts Bud: Claming he’s moved a lot, trying to burn off hank’s finger prints and in general thinking fleeing an accidental hit and run was in any way a good idea. 

                                           43. Return to Malice

Summary: 21 begins his hunt for 24′s killer, starting with the boys, leading the rest of the cast to try and to undo ths fiasco whlie the Monarch.. deals with a bad shelfish allergy. Would you belivie this is one of the best episodes of the series so far? My Thoughts: Yeah never thought i’d be typing that. I remembered not really liking this one but on rewatch? This is where the season goes from pretty good , even the tire fire, to truly excellent. As the season has been so far i’ts packed full of great jokes but what REALLY elevates it is the character stuff, something the other eps had but this one really digs in  with and what makes the show special. We see who 21 is now, how he got that way and that he talks to a skull a lot. It also dosen’t bother the monarch because he does the same thing with the greatest new character of all series; Mister Mostly Mittens. RIP. We also get some great character interactions: Dean gets to interact with 21 at length for the first time as he was geninely paired with 24 before his untimely demise, Rusty and SHelia have a genine conversation for the first time with Doc only hitting on her a little (Which for him is imporvement) and as I mentioned earlier the Monarch telling off the moppets was so damn cathartic. This is a hidden gem of an ep that’s worth a revisit.  Best Moment: Mister Mostly Mittens. Not only the full shot of the horrifying taxidermy cat, but how the Monarch seems to think this is remotely normal “He could catch a rubberband and bring it back to you. Just classic venture bros going off on some weird aside that has nothing to do with the plot but is still soaked in character.  Hanktastic: When 21 realizes in a way he killed 24, dean tries to comfort him with an “We all did” Hank.. dosen’t take it “Not me I didn’t!” Deanarific: Dean geneinly comforting gary and getting through to him. Best boy.  Hatred Paedo Jokes: Just outright mentioning it casually.. though it’s one of theo nlyt imes it works as it has Doc rightfully questioning hiring him. 2. ALso forgot to add 4 from previous seasons so 6. (The refrence to him trying to rape hank ins eason 2, his needing them awayin season 3 and his later mentionnig giving up the little boys and calling the chlidren sexy at the daycamp0 Questions For Later: First Appearance:

                                      44. The Revenge Society

Summary:

Phantom Limb makes his grand return, kidnapping Billy  and two of the council.. and making them into a two headed man because Jackson and Doc loved the idea of a two headed man, with intent of getting the ORB, so it’s up to david bowie, dean and doc to stop them while Hank and Hatred try to super runaway from hatred’s past. 

My Thoughts: Look i’ve talked quite at length about the hatred bit, and that was forgetting the book has a bit where Doc tries to say “nah nah see they just cuddled” which I geinely can’t tell if he’s in denail or trying to cover his ass as they did cut back on the pedophile jokes, but yeah it was utterly awful and drags this episode down slightly. Also that explination dosen’t help as billy “thinking” he got raped as a joke still isn’t funny and isn’t at all what you were going for.  The rest of the ep still shines as Phantom Limb returns half crazed and having an army of inanimate objects as his “Revenge Soceity” and Urabanik completely sells crazy limb while Jackson and Doc play off him great as mantle and dragoon. The two are easily one of the best additions the cast got over it’s long run. They were right on the money that making a double act that can’t phsycially get away from each other worked and the fact the two didn’t choose this but just have to deal with it makes for that much more comedy. The mileage they got out of a character simply being two bickering old men with one attached to the others shoulder is amazing. Bag Billy is also amazing aside from that stinger.  We also get great character stuff: Hank and Hatred’s bonding with Hank realizing he has to do the right thing and Dean and Doc’s even better bonding as Doc is geninely helpful.. it’s all great pieces. Add in some premium david bowie and you got it. I’m also fine the ORB thing ended with an anticlimax.. it’s a good swerve and i’m baffled so many people thought it should go somewhere. Even as a teen I thought it was a great swerve and as an adult it fits the show: something big super mcguffin turning out to just be a pile of broken parts no one checked because they were too busy killing anyone that did. It’s classic venture bros. 

Best Moment: Hard to choose.. which I know I keep saying some form of but these episodes are absolutely stuffed... but in the end i’ll go with what I picked for the picture: The reveal that Phantomas kidnapped richie valens and the big bopper.. just to have them play crappy music. And that this somehow is the secret origin of them becoming super villians. This show is fucking stupid and I love it. 

Hanktastic: As said in his section hank holding off the full brunt of the fucking guild.. with the hank equilvent of “dave’s not here man”. Good god I love this boy. 

Deanarific: Dean bravely deciding to take the fight to the guild and do reconcizne. 

Hatred Paedo Jokes: GUESS

Questions For Later: Just where Phantom Limb goes from here. While unsuprisingly it involves a jail cell , suprisingly it dosen’t end there. 

First Appearance:Red Mantle and Crimson Dragoon

                                           45. Self-Medication

Summary: Doc gets out of arching for therapy but when his therapist is killed by a snake themed coffee deathtrap, his therapy group takes on the mystery to find his killer... in theory. IN practice they get beat up at a strip club and get talked out of beating up an old man before he calls them all loosers. Meanwhile Hatred takes the boys to the movies and slowly breaks down over being out of meds. 

My Thoughts: Another spectacular episode this time with both a great premise for both plots and a throughly stacked guest cast. Huge fan of the show Patton Oswalt, VA and screen legend Seth Green and John Hodgeman all do a wonderful job. Jackson had wanted to do this one for a long time and it shows as the idea of getting all these washed up boy adventueres together works great from the menendez hardy boys, to robin if he never became nightwing to an unsettling version of astro boy, all anchored by our old friends rusty and captain johnny. It’s just comedy gold , especaily Johnny which is brendan small at his best in the roll as just about everything he says is hilaroius as it is messed up. It also shows just what Rusty might’ve been in diffrent cirucmstances, from strung out to killing his abusive dad to .. well probably not wonder boy. Add in some great stuff with dr. z and this plot works. 

THe Hatred plot is one of the few of his that work as the pedophile thing is treated as a horrible addiction he needs to face and he’s shown doing everything not to surrender to it and once he is in that state, he’s already locked himself away where he can’t hurt anyone or act on gary glitter’s tip. It has no real resolution, he apparently got diffrent drugs? I dunno, but it’s at least trying. Overall a classic, if not one of my favoirites. 

Best Moment:”You got a little herpe on your lip. You get it from your wife... after I put herpe in her?” This joke wouldnt’ work at all without Brendon’s delivery. 

Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 126. Deciding he’s “Too good for therapy. 

Jonas Sucks Suprising No One: 36. Yes a whopping 20 points for pretending to be his own son’s therapist just to gaslight him. He may not be a point leader but he makes up for it. 

Hanktastic: HIs weird logic that somehow Gary and co’s wing sblocking him counts as an arching. Look I love hank but he hasn’t been as full tilt nuts this season. 

Deanarific: Dean showing his full strength and heart, encouraging hatred to fight his urges and refusing to let him out knowing he’ll do something unforgivable he’ll regret. Granted not letting a man buy an underaged sex slave off a tip from Gary Glitter is something any person should do, but the fact Dean figures Hatred can fight it and does his best is fantastic, as is , after realizing Hatred’s will isn’t strong enough, finding a way to take out his uncle so he’ll get help. Dean’s come a long way from being afraid of the coming of jesus last season. 

Hatred Paedo Jokes: The Subplot

This Didn’t Age Well: Mrs. Z’s voice. Good god no. 

                    46. The Better Man (Super Good Award Winner) 

Summary: It’s a three fer as Doctor Orpheus tries to one up the man who his wife left him for and ends up in hell, Triana discovers her destiny in her closet, and Dean tries to move on from her with the less than helpful advice of his twin and the suprisingly helpful advice of his half brother. 

My Thoughts: It was HARD picking the best ep this time, as most of this batch could qualify.. but in the end I gave it to this one for it’s character depth. I’ve gone into most of that above but each bit is brilliant and joke wise it’s stacked as this season has been, from Hank’s disasterous attempts to wingman for dean, his crush on the mail lady (”She had very attractive shorts”), to dean’s all time great roast on dermott, to all the drags on orpheus desperation at the start.. this ep is just stuffed with some of the best the series can offer. It’s why i’m being so breif: this episode is a fucking good, soulful, and hilarious ride and I’ve said most of what I need to say about it above. 

Best Moment: LOT of contenders, as usual, but this one especailly. I’m giving it to one of my faviorite scenes in the whole show: dermott advising dean on the girl he just met. It takes dermott from hank’s idiot sidekick to a fuller human being, a kid who may be VERY stupid and very egotistical, but isn’t all bad nor always an unhelpful pile of acne who thinks he’s steven segall and has the ego to match. The boys response is also fucking great with Hank geninely confused Dermott was helpful, clearly starting to see his friend for what he is and Dean having one of the best digs of the whole series “Better check the temprature in hell” 

Hanktastic: LOT to pick from, but I have to go with his crush on the mail lady “She had very attractive shorts”, as well as the fact he dosen’t back away or try to justify his crush, simply giving dean credit for poitning out he dosen’t have MUCh ground to stand on. 

Deanarific: Again a lot of choices , with “I look like rufio” coming very close. But in the end his smug as hell face when triana says she can’t keep him from all the ladies wins it. 

Questions For Later: Triana’s training and the outrider both come back in the season finale, Orpheus having a room free will be just as important as it brings a certain well loved paunchy gay man into the fold, and Dermott’s part time job will be a fixture from here on out. 

First Appearance: The Outrider 

                                        47. Pinstripes and Poltergeists

Summary: Brock returns and just in time as the Monarch’s latest ill thought out scheme puts both him and the venture compound in the clutches of Monstroso and it’s up to the unlikely dynamic duo of 21 and brock to take him out while Doc finds out about SPHINX

My Thoughts: One of the series best finales and as Jackson put it a good note to end on, giving us plenty of brock to make up for his absence and explain where he’ sbeen with the brilliant sphinx sequence, the asendency of shoreleave and some all time classic gags like Doc revealing shit to the boys pre mindwipe, “Cigar?” and that fight scene, a show of how far 21 has come. Add in a great ending, a great big bad for the season in monstroso, and you get an all time classic. If this dosen’t make my adjusted top 12 list I’ll be a little suprised and given teh quality of this season it just might not. This is the season rising even higher and i’ts only going to go up next time. 

Best Moment: The 21 and brock fight. It ALMOST lost to the rusty sucks suprising no one moment bellow, but in the end it’s just too iconic to the series to not give it and too damn awesome too. It’s breif but it’s so damn beautifully shot, well acted and cathartic, showing just how far 21′s come to the point he earned brock’s respect

Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 132. A double pointer for the “Have I ever told you boys about your mother, or that your both clones?” and a single one for not keeping billy from being mindwiped, 2 for being put out at having to do something ood with the space with an additional one for not seeming to care brock was gone. And while 32 points in 8 episodes is a lot, most of that was from one episode. He’s been suprisingly less horrible this batch. 

Hanktastic: Hank’s reunion with brock. 

Questions For Later: Monstroso and what he and his investors mean for our heroes. The fight with 21 and brock will also lead to consequences for the big man down the line. 

First Appearance:

Monstroso

So that about wraps it up. This was one of the funnest times I had and it was great to get back to it after so long. Next time we get some of the best the series has ever done, again and finally get to my all time faviorite episode, something I don’t think my rewatches of seasons 5-7 is going to change. If you enjoyed this review consider joining my patreon to help me keep these thick boys going and for bonus content

You can find it here

And as an added bonus in a few days i’m doing a summer fun poll to pick a movie for me to review that’s summery this month. Me and my patreons have picked some true classics: UHF, Hot Fuzz, Batman 1989, Transformers the Movie and The Simpsons Movie are all on the ballet and it’s up to you to pick which one. So you lucky folks who read ALL this way get to vote early. 

Poll link is here, vote wisely

And i’ll see you all in a month though your free to stick around for more fun stuff. 

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

A Heartbeat Away | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.7k

✦ based off the song I Should’ve Kissed You by One Direction

✦ summary — Damian is haunted by the fact that he only said good night when he should have kissed you.

✦ warnings — light angst, mentions of pregnancy (a minor character is pregnant), mentions of food and beverages, fluff.

✦ author's note i — randomly remembered my obsession with this song and couldn’t get it out of my head.

✦ author's note ii — the parts in italics are flashbacks.

════════════════════════

Ever since he started living with Jason, Damian found himself straying away from the things that held him back.

His life would never be normal, but in hindsight, he could admit things weren’t as bad.

The fallout with his father came crashing down in the worst moment possible — Dick was dead and his relationship with Tim wasn’t the best.

As little as he knew Jason, he was sure he could trust him so he asked for his help instead of somebody else’s.

And Jason didn’t say no. Whether he had the heart to do it or not was irrelevant because he still took Damian in and helped him find a job.

He hated said job.

‘It’s a job,’ you had told him, ‘you’re not supposed to like it.’

You.

Damian rarely stopped thinking about you. Calling it infatuation felt like an understatement, and yet he couldn’t find a better word to describe the whirlwind of emotions you gave him.

He still remembered the day he met you for the first time.

Jason paced in the living room, perking up every time he heard a noise outside the apartment.

You’re driving me insane,” Damian said from the small dining table.

”Roy’s late.”

”Why are you surprised?”

Jason glared at him.

Both of them heard somebody stand on the other side of the door. Their steps didn’t sound like Roy’s.

Pulling the door open, Jason was ready to snap at whoever had knocked.

“You ordered something and gave my apartment number instead of yours. Again.”

Damian didn’t recognize the voice so he slanted his body to the side to see who it was. He couldn’t stop staring.

”I’ll make it up to you.”

”Jay,” you sighed. “I’ve told you before, you just need to tell me beforehand if you don’t want things to arrive to your apartment. My roommate could have opened it.”

Damian chuckled, a single elbow resting on the table.

Jason craned his neck. “You think this is funny?”

”I think you’re a moron.”

”Shut up and come meet our neighbor.”

Damian didn’t have to be told twice. He stood up with an eagerness he hadn’t felt since Jason texted him to let him know he had found the materials so he could build a suit and go back to patrol.

”This is my brother Damian.” Jason turned around to place the package under the table next to the door.

He knew you’d either seen him before or heard about him the moment his eyes landed on you. People always had a visceral reaction when they met him, some found him attractive, others attempted to ask for favors, and some recoiled in fear.

But you didn’t. You held his gaze and stood in the same spot you had been since you knocked on the door.

And whether it had been in a newspaper or a gossip forum, he was glad you knew something about him. There was something about the way you stared at him that screamed for him to trust you. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

“Nice to meet you,” you politely said, smiling at him.

Stunned by the fact that you hadn’t mocked him, and now assuming it wasn’t wishful thinking after all, he tilted his head. Most people did mock now that he wasn’t under his father’s wing.

Still, he said, “Likewise.”

Your smile became warmer. “I live three doors down the hallway in case you need anything.”

He felt a pang in his chest at the gesture. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Weird sensations in his chest were normal when he was around you. Befriending you was easier than he’d ever admit and talking to you became the highlight of his day.

The pangs in his chest turned into a fluttering sensation in a heartbeat. You’d make him feel breathless when you did the smallest things — when you smiled at him, when you complained about other neighbors with him, when you asked about his day.

He felt special. For once in his life for being the closest he had ever been to resemble a normal person.

And he also remembered, quite painfully, that night he let you walk away without mustering the courage to tell you —or show you— the way you made him feel.

The deserted hallway was yet another proof of how easy it was to lose track of time around you.

Damian hadn’t expected to get back home past midnight or to skip patrol, but 1:00 AM turned into 2:00 and he couldn’t part from you no matter how many times he tried to remind himself to do it.

He hadn’t even expected to enjoy the state fair as an adult, yet he couldn’t remember a time he had more fun than that evening.

You gazed up at him, waiting for him to either do or say something. Anything other than stare at you in the middle of the hallway.

You had already thanked him for making you company, there was no way you’d say anything. And he froze.

“Good night,” he sputtered.

Your brow twitched. “Night.”

He watched you unlock your door and get inside your apartment with a heavy heart.

You moved out a couple months ago and he hadn’t seen you since then. The texts the two of you exchanged were sporadic and they bordered in formal.

He should have kissed you, he was aware of that. And to make matters worse, Jason chewed him out when he found out.

He still looked for you every morning he left the apartment as though you’d remember you had forgotten something. That you had forgotten him.

Jon said it was for the best, that somebody as sweet as you didn’t deserve to carry with his baggage.

Damian knew his best friend to be right, but how could he let go of you that easily when you made him see he was more than his mistakes and regrets?

He didn’t need anybody to carry him, he could drag himself anywhere if needed.

He simply hated the hole in the pit of his stomach every time he entertained the possibility of having to see you one day with somebody else because he wasn’t brave enough to say what he needed to let out.

The idea of being out of time was killing him slowly, so naturally, he’d sought a quick death.

════════════════════════

You gasped upon opening the door. You weren’t expecting anybody to be outside — much less Damian Wayne.

“Oh!”

“Hi,” he softly greeted.

You blinked rapidly. “Did you need anything?”

“I wanted to... Are you on your way out?”

“I’m just dropping this off for my mom.” You momentarily lifted the bags you were carrying in one hand. “She lives nearby.”

He spared a look to the reusable bags in your grasp. “Is she sick?”

“Pregnant,” you explained, playing with your keys. “It’s high risk due to her age so we take as much care of her as we can.”

Damian walked backward, allowing you to come out of the apartment and lock the door.

As you pushed the door to make sure it was locked, he asked, “Would you care for some company?”

Turning around, you gave him a small smile. “That would be lovely.”

He reached over. “Let me help.”

“They’re not heavy.”

“I insist.”

”Okay.” You handed him the bags and took the initiative to lead the way.

He reached your side immediately.

Not knowing what else to do, aware you’d let something slip if you didn’t find something, you made small talk. “How’s Jason?”

“As annoying as always.”

You still remembered when he meant those words, when he complained about Jason and how often they butted heads. His tone was different now, lighter, almost playful.

“Good to know some things never change.”

You walked the streets with an ease you hadn’t been able to in years. Growing up in that neighborhood meant which streets to avoid, and sadly, most of them were unsafe.

There were many things you could have asked or said, perhaps apologize for being cold while texting.

You were in your right to be cold and you could have just not answered, but you wanted to keep contact even though you were hurt.

Damian was great company. It was a shame you misread the entire situation and couldn’t go back to chat with him like before.

It took you a few attempts to get them to talk comfortably, but once he was able to, he didn’t look back. He even gossiped with you.

Stopping in front of the house, you looked around to make sure your mom had the windows open. Once sure, you walked up the front steps.

You withdrew a single key from your back pocket and extended your other hand so Damian would give you the bags.

The floors were recently mopped which meant your aunt had visited that day.

“It’s me,” you yelled so your mom wouldn’t get up. It was her time to be watching TV in the living room.

Carrying the bags towards the kitchen, you caught the jingle from a commercial.

You filled a glass with water and added a couple of ice cubes.

Your mom was comfortably sat on a recliner, feet up and remote control on her thigh. “Hurry back before it gets dark.”

“Don’t worry, a friend of mine walked me here.” You handed her the glass. “Do you need anything else?”

She ignored your question as she took the glass. “Who is it?”

“You don’t know him.”

“Him?” She lifted an eyebrow.

You hadn’t mentioned a guy to her in almost two years now, her surprise was understandable. “Not now.”

“Oh, so it is like that?”

Maybe it was and maybe that was the issue. She wouldn’t blame you if she knew him like you did, if she heard him laugh or saw him change his demeanor to accommodate to somebody else’s sensibilities.

You didn’t think you’d witness anything remotely close to that when you met him for the first time, but you learned really quickly that Damian was full of surprises.

“I’ll call in the morning in case you need something. I’m working ’til 3:00 PM tomorrow.”

“It’s okay.” She took a sip of water. “Did you bring anything sweet?”

“Homemade muffins and a few chocolate bars. Do you want one now?”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait after dinner.”

You kissed her cheek. “Call me, please.”

“Go, go.” She ushered you to go with a gesture of her hand. “Don’t make your friend wait.”

It was your time to ignore her comment.

Damian was sat on the front steps when you came out, looking up at the darkening sky.

“Is everything alright?” you asked in a whisper as to not scare him.

“No.” He shook his head and stood up. “I mean, yes. How’s your mother?”

“She’s good. Having fun watching reality TV.”

Damian squinted. “Is reality TV really that entertaining?”

“It’s mindless stuff, but it’s fun sometimes. You get to judge other people’s lives without feeling remorse because it’s most likely fake.”

The walk back was way shorter and you didn’t want to part. It was time to swallow your pride and your feelings for him.

He didn’t part ways with you at the building entrance. He walked beside you until you reached the elevator — Damian extended his arm to keep the doors open and allowed you to get in first. He followed suit.

You turned the lights on with Damian on your tail. He did wait for you to invite him in, but you were sure both of you knew there was no way you wouldn’t.

“I made muffins. Do you want one?”

Damian nodded.

You guided him to the dining table where a trippy vase in pastel colors rested with flowers.

He looked around the apartment as he walked towards the table. As he sat down, he fixed his eyes on the vase.

“Green or black?”

“Mmh?”

“Your tea.”

You could swear you saw him smile to himself.

“Black.” He placed his cellphone on the table. “You still have that thing,” he said, referring to the trippy vase.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He huffed a laugh. “Jason said it was ugly.”

“Jason doesn’t have the best taste in the world,” you lightheartedly retorted.

The vase was precious to you, a gift from Damian who spooked you in the middle of a rainy night and made you knock your favorite vase.

You set a plate in front of him and placed the muffin there. “Your tea’s almost ready.”

“No roommate this time?”

“Nope. I miss Lou, but I don’t miss having a roommate that much.”

“I thought the move was temporary just so you could be close to your mother...”

“It is, but there’s still a long way to go. The baby should be here next month and she’ll need help around the house.” You disappeared for a moment as you looked for a mug.

Having found one, you dropped the teabag and poured the boiling water in.

“Sugar.” You put the sugar bowl down just in front of the mug. Feeling his eyes on the side of your face, you gazed at him. “It’s brown, don’t worry.”

He relaxed and uncovered the sugar bowl. “Is the father of your mother’s child around?”

“Yeah.” You sat down on the chair closest to his. “She remarried last year and her husband tries to help, but you know, work gets in the way.”

“Tell me if I can help with anything.”

“Don’t worry, you have enough things to juggle with already.”

“What’s one more? At least let me make you company or walk you home. These streets are dangerous.”

You softly nodded. From the day you met him you knew you would never be able to tell him no — and having his company after a long day sounded nice.

“So...”

“So,” you encouraged him to go on.

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“No. I thought I was a little while ago, but...” You hoped he’d understand what you were getting at. “I guess something got lost in translation.”

“Did it? Or was he too much of a coward to show the way he felt?”

“Don’t.” You hated hearing him talk like that about himself.

“You don’t know how much I regret not kissing you that night. I—“ He sighed, twisting his mouth as he frowned. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“At least now I know you did think about doing it.”

“I did. Many times throughout the night.” He turned to the side to fully look at you. “I wanted to find the perfect moment and became overwhelmed. Sounds like a bad excuse, but I swear it’s the truth.”

“I believe you.”

Damian scooted closer and reached over to place his hand on your face. Softly, he caressed your cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

You leaned onto his touch, tilting your head. “Me too. Sorry for being such an ass.”

“It’s fine. I would have reacted similarly.”

“Similarly or worse?”

“Worse.”

You laughed, making him smile.

“May I?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Damian leaned in, placing his free hand on the back of your chair as his nose brushed yours.

His lips softly connected with yours, but the slow pace didn’t last. The two of you had wasted too much time, thrown away too many opportunities to be this close —or closer— and patience wasn’t a virtue Damian possessed.

The chair was now balancing itself in two legs, making you interrupt the kiss with a squeal.

Damian then made you stand up and wrapped his arms around your waist. His lips were immediately back on yours.

Your hands went up to rest on his biceps as he kissed you again. His arms tightened around you as he deepened the kiss and you melted.

You melted into the kiss, onto his warmth, due to the fact that he wanted this as much as you did.

Kissing him had become a mere fantasy for you, and there he was, not only making it a reality but exceeding your expectations.

Grabbing him by the neck, you broke the kiss in search of air. His breath was barely ragged and you remembered he told you he could hold it in for a long time.

You needed him to teach you just to be able to kiss him for longer.

“That was nice,” you said, still breathless.

“Yeah, really nice. We should do it more often.”

“Are you asking me out?”

“I’m telling you I want you to be mine.”

All in or nothing, of course. Jason had warned you that Damian didn’t take things lightly.

But you were okay with that.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The General (Part 1): Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: matchmaking day is upon you, and you’re in for more than just a partner. 

wc: 2.1k

tw: none - just a bunch of backstory. (part 2 is going to be much more interesting and Geto WILL appear.)

masterlist

The trees along the grounds of your family’s estate are blooming in full force, once again signaling the coming of the most anticipated day of the year: matchmaking day. Beautiful petals of yellow, red, and pink would decorate the lawn and as a child, you would gather them up and toss them around. You imagined your wedding would be just as majestic as the coming of spring and that matchmaking day would be the happiest day of your life. 

For years, you had watched your older siblings be married off to wonderful and loving partners, their names being called from the crowd of people who gathered in the village square every year. For years, you eagerly waited your turn to meet the love of your life. And last year - the year before you were set to make your debut in the matchmaking pool - you found him. 

The man you wanted to be set up with - Yuko Hashinara - was perfect. 

As the son of a potter, he wasn’t filthy rich, but for a whole six months, you dipped your hands into the kaolin just to get closer to him. Yuko seemed to take a liking to you too, his soft features and green eyes following you around the workshop while you made conversation or giggled over town gossip. He had even touched your hand tenderly once; the white clay smearing over your fingers with care. He hadn’t admitted that he loved you, but today would change all of that. 

“Mother! What should I wear?” All of the formal wear in your closet now seemed too plain for what you planned on being your debut into society as Yuko’s Betrothed. You no longer had the scores of clothing your sisters offered or the keen eye of your eldest brother. It was just you now, and as the youngest, there was a need to show everyone you were just as worthy as your siblings of a perfect match. 

Your mother bustles in hastily, attempting to fix your hair while you rifle through the clothing that’s available to you. “Don’t wear red; only whores wear red. Perhaps the hunter green one will do.” When you pull out the silk garment your mother detailed, your shoulders fall a bit, noting it’s plainness. 

“But will this look attractive for Yuko?” you wonder, trying to see the dress in better lighting. Gold and brown swirls decorate the dress around the neck and hemline but it still looks inelegant. “You know, like I’m supposed to be his wife?” Your mother’s hands still on your hair, and for a second, you wonder if you’ve said something wrong.

“This dress will look beautiful on you, like it did on your grandmother when she was matched with her husband.” Ah, yes. Grandmother. At the mention of the old matriarch, you’re silenced immediately, recalling the love she and your grandfather had upon their union. “We should only hope you are as lucky as she was to find a worthy match.” 

“Yuko is a ‘worthy match’,” you retort, but your mother doesn’t reply, finishing your hairdo and stepping back to admire her handiwork. 

“Now let’s get you dressed; we don’t have a lot of time.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

When you arrive in the square with the other girls of the village, there is an uproar of chatter about who would be matched with who, and whether or not the matchmaker would be fair to some of the older girls who had never been matched with before. 

You’re not overly friendly with any of the others gathered - due to your family’s estate being on the far side of the main village and as such, every trip into town required a long trek - but you’re welcomed nonetheless. As you stand in the cool, spring breeze, your eyes roam around the boys who were gathered on the left side of the square. Your eyes fall upon Yuko, and a sigh escapes your lips, your mind fluttering off to begin fantasies of the rest of your lives together. You would have an extravagant wedding, a lavish reception, and an equally attention-bringing birth of your first born: a son you’d already named in your head. 

But as soon as you get to the day your son would take his first steps, the sound of the matchmaker’s voice echoes across the courtyard. She was short - very short - with small, beady eyes, and white hair that feel in a braid down her back. Her wrinkled skin holds all of the years she performed this ceremony, and you’re sure if you stare long enough that she might even shrink a little.

“We will now begin the matchmaking ceremonies with a prayer…” Your nerves bundle up in your stomach as the old woman begins reciting a prayer to the gods that you completely ignore. Couldn’t she just say all of the names and then pray? What did the gods care about the order of things? 

It isn’t until you hear the soft murmurs of the women around you that you know it’s time to look up and resume your fretting about the pickings, which were sort of slim to begin with. 

“Kashishime Okkostua… and Junte Yakamura.” The first couple of the ceremony had been announced, and you look at the brightened expression of a woman in the sea of female faces, who excitedly approaches her betrothed with arms open wide. The following twenty or so names were read off with similar results; only a few couples do not already know each other, and they approach each other with a timidness you could only describe as painful to watch. 

“Yuko Hashinara and…” Oh, no, the time had already come. You look at the man who wrings his hands nervously, eyes glued to the matchmaker, while you hold your hands similarly, heart pounding beneath your dress wildly. The name of the woman falls from the matchmaker’s lips in slow motion, it seems, but it’s obviously not your name. 

It’s not me. 

It’s not me. 

It’s. 

Not. 

Me. 

Your first thought is to go numb. As you eye the female who emerges from the crowd, your self-preservation instincts take over, analyzing the way she looks while you fix your fallen countenance. She is nothing amazing to look at, you reason, but as they acknowledge each other and depart from the crowd, your heart goes with them, never to return to the hole in your chest. Not even a trade from another other-worldly spirit could bring it back. 

The rest of the day blows by you, and you don’t even hear a single syllable that sounds remotely like your name grace the tongue of the matchmaker. When she sets aside her papers, you and two other women are left standing in the square. 

One of them started crying long ago, her face puffy and red. The other crosses her arms and takes a glance at you, shrugging her shoulders disinterestedly. But you… you’re feeling as numb as a rock. You stare at the sand lining the pathway, unsure of what to say or how to feel other than empty. The matchmaker hobbles down from her perch to where you three are standing and looks all of you over once. When she opens her mouth, all you can hear is:

“... maybe next year.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Next year. That’s the only thought that bounces around your skull as you make the embarrassing trek back to your residence. Next year. 

But there wouldn’t be a next year. 

The one you wanted was already gone, and--

Your eyes lift slowly to the door of your family’s home. Never in your lifetime had you experienced such a painful moment, but you wouldn’t let anyone see you defeated. Even after your mother opens the door and witnesses your shuffle back into the house, you announce to her and your father stoically: “The matchmaker said next year would be the year,” and walk into your bedroom with nothing else to declare. 

The pillows on your bed muffle the sobs of your broken heartedness, and cover up the absolute humiliation you had suffered in front of the whole town. You wouldn’t speak of this day to anyone, not even your parents. Next year would be your year.

_______________________________________________________________________

Thunder rattles the windows of your house, and you stare at the various trees being stripped of their buds and flower petals in the pending storm though the panel in your bedroom. This is perfect weather for your mood, you note, and settle into the soft cushion beneath you with a sense of satisfaction. The world mirrors your inner turmoil with this storm, and you like the way the darkness swallows up the bright blue sky. 

“Y/n…” A tap on your door signals the arrival of your mother, but you don’t answer, preferring to stare out of the window at the destruction instead. “I’m coming in.” The door is pushed open with ease, and your mother waddles in, holding a bowl of your favorite soup. “I made some soup for you.” You look at the offering with disinterest,  eyes sliding away from the bowl and to the mirror across the room. 

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry,” you croak. You can’t see your reflection, but you know you look like a wreck. You had snatched out the bobby pins and ribbons in your hair after you cried, then stripped the dress off in haste, throwing it into the corner before dressing in a plain kimono to remain decent. You’re still in that same kimono, even though it’s been almost a day since you’d changed. 

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.” The keen observation doesn’t make your stomach growl. Instead, it’s like a stone is sitting in your gut, preventing you from even desiring food.

“I’ll be okay.” Your mother sits the soup down on your bedside table anyways, leaving you in peace just like she found you. A slight hiccup finds its way into your throat, and you want to cry, but you have no tears left at all. Your face is tight and raw, and you want to scrub at it to make it all go away… but you can’t. The matchmaker’s word is as good as a bond, and you can’t break that bond; not even if you tried. 

The sound of the front door rattling initially sounds like some aftereffect of the lightning and thunder rolling across the sky, but you notice that the windows hadn’t shook. The pounding sound echoes again, and you find the strength to slide to the edge of your bed, feet dangling in the air precariously. 

Your father would be there to get it, wouldn’t he? So why are you moving? Before you can question yourself further, you place your feet on the floor and pad to your bedroom door. Perhaps it was Yuko, and something had gone terribly wrong with his new wife. The thought makes you move even faster, your legs propelling you down the hallway and to the foyer, where your father stood with the door open to the rain. As you crane your head around the wall between the foyer and hallway, you see a figure bent over at the knees, catching their breath and mumbling erratically. 

“Can I help you?” your father asks the person, who’s head snaps up, flinging his long, white hair back and showing his startling blue eyes. He’s dressed as an Imperial Warrior in a black and red kimono and hakama with a white sash around his waist, which signifies his rank, but you don’t know what rank white is.

“Sir, I have come a long way,” he begins, panting still. “The Imperial Court is in need of your youngest daughter. I have ord--” Your father scoffs, not even entertaining the man at his feet by listening to his speech. 

“I’m sorry, but my youngest daughter is not a fighter,” he cuts the man off with his hand, but the man continues anyway.

“If you would please grant me entry into your home, I will be able to tell you the entire story. I am sure you will allow me this much upon seeing this.” Suddenly, the man reveals a water damaged envelope with the Imperial seal stamped upon it from his kimono. Your father looks at the document, but does not open it. 

“Come inside, then. I’m sure you’re weary from your travels. I’ll have my wife prepare you some dinner.” As your father lets the man inside, your peer a little closer at the soldier and find his sapphire orbs boring right into your soul. A charming half smile pulls at his lips, but he turns away to follow your father into the kitchen, leaving you alone in the foyer and to wonder who exactly was in your home and why.

[mrslilyrogers]

All I have to do is Dream Part 2

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)

Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all.

Author’s note: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before but reader here has studied at the Xavier Institute so she’s basically part of the X-men. You don’t have to read the comics or watch their movies, it is just part of her background. This is based on Endgame and would follow its progression. If you want to be tagged, please send an ask!! Thank you all for reading!!! 

Part 1 

Steve’s jaw twitched, his throat muscles working, eyes never leaving the photo on his phone. He pursed his lips and let out a huge exhale, running a hand on his face. What the hell had you done?

Nat didn’t question when he came back to the compound late last night nor when he didn’t show up the morning after, only learning from F.R.I.D.A.Y, he was up earlier than his usual and left. He came back a few hours ago, sweaty and gruff, immediately rushing to lock himself up at the gym. Wallowing there until now. 

She had known Steve long enough to know he was blowing off steam. She knew better than to pry, letting him keep to himself until he was ready to talk, and Steve was glad for it. Glad he still had one friend who cared. 

What the hell had you done? 

—————————-

You jolted from the bed, Steve’s eyes drilling holes in your direction from where he sat stiffly beside you, his mouth pressed into a thin disapproving line. If only looks could kill. You had never seen him so angry in your life. His breath coming in rapid pants, his fists clenched tight at his sides, the muscles around his neck and arms bulging. You felt naked under his gaze, bared to the soul with nowhere to hide. Ironic when just a few moments ago, you had breached into his mind, violating his privacy to the utmost. 

“Y/N,” he said, deathly low and lethal, a warning. 

“Steve, I’m sorry I didn’t know--” you scrambled to your feet, panic rising up to your throat, cheeks wet with tears. 

“Bullshit!” He roared, not letting you finish, shooting up to his feet like the soldier he was. His tightly coiled temper finally unleashed. “You went inside my head! Don’t you fucking give me any excuses!”

In his anger, he threw the analog clock from his bedside table to the floor, breaking it into tiny pieces instantly, the sound of it cracking and your crying the only things filling the air. You didn’t recognize the sobs coming from you, not even knowing if it was from what you’ve just discovered or the way he looked at you now. As if he didn’t know you, as if he could never trust you again. 

“I’m sorry,” was all you said. And you were. In every sense of the word. Sorry for yourself, sorry for what you’ve learned, sorry for what you’ve done. 

“How could you do this to me?” Steve asked, disbelieving. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just… I overheard you at grief counseling--”

“You what?” He hissed, eyes incredulous and accusing. “Are you fucking spying on me now?” he pointed his finger at you, circling the bed to stand in front of you, his steps quick and long. He looked like he did on missions. One purpose, ready to attack. It was a miracle he kept his fists at his sides instead of shaking you. 

“NO! No, I was waiting outside and I heard what you said, and it’s made me think…” 

“No, you didn’t think! I told you time and time again, I love you. What more do you fucking need?” His voice grew even louder, exasperation and impatience seeping out of him as if he had been putting up with you for so long.

What more do you need? What more do you need?

“The truth, Steve! I just wanted to know the truth!” You answered back, voice rising in return. The whole time you thought you were only being paranoid, insecure, blaming it on yourself when you weren’t wrong all along. He still wanted her. Yearned for her. 

“And are you happy now? You happy that you’ve forced it out of me?” Steve’s tone turned mocking, his eyes hard and jaw tensed. No denial, no guilt. He baited you and if he had enough presence of mind, he wouldn’t have said that, wouldn’t have deliberately gone out of his way to cut you deep. But right at this moment, all he saw was red. He wanted to hurt you, to punch, to scream. His hands shook, in the need to destroy something, to fight someone. Fists bringing out what he couldn’t put forth into words. He knew he had to leave. 

You flinched from his words as if you’ve been physically slapped. Eyes full of hurt, you were speechless, immobilized to the spot, no other choice but to take it all in and watch him as he bristled past you, heading to the direction of your shared closet, grabbing his duffel bag and stuffing it with whatever he could get his hands on. 

“Wait, where are you going?” your voice was small, hands shaking while you clutched the end of your shirt. 

“I can’t even look at you right now,” 

“So is this it? Is that all you have to say?” You pleaded, a part of you still hoping he’d deny everything you saw. That it was just all it ever was, a dream. A fantasy from another life. That it didn’t mean anything. That he’d pick you, the one who was here, someone he could actually build a future with. Over a dead woman, a woman who belonged to another decade, another lifetime. 

“Since you’re so good at getting into people’s minds, why don’t you tell me?” He taunted, turning his back to you, roughly shoving his toiletries in his bag.

“That’s not fair, Steve!” 

“Fair? You want to talk about being fair when you broke my trust! You promised, Y/N. Does that only mean something when it’s convenient to you?” He turned around this time, nostrils flaring, finger pointing offensively at you again. You were so close to him now, could practically feel the heat radiating off his body. And you were scared. You were scared to lose him. Because you knew whatever happened tonight couldn’t be reversed. The things he said, the things you did, there was no going around it anymore. 

“Do you want me to say I don’t love Peggy anymore, is that it? Is that what you wanna hear? Because I can’t. I still love her!” His voice boomed around you, shaking you to your core. Fresh, hot tears trailed down your cheeks. You were helpless. Broken. 

As soon as the words left him, he knew he’d regret it. At the way you looked, so small and vulnerable, hugging your arms to your chest, his eyes softened,  “Y/N…” he moved towards you, hands out to comfort you but you backed away. 

Shaking your head vehemently, you took another step back. You didn’t want his touch, didn’t want him near you. 

“No, no. Don’t.” you stayed a hand up to stop him. “It’s alright. You’re right,” 

“Y/N, that’s not--” 

“I think you should leave.” you pointed to the bag already in his hand. Your resolve, sure and strong. 

“Y/N, I didn’t--” he tried again, shaking his head. How could he take those words back? Did he not mean them too? God help him but he loved them both. 

“Steve, please stop. Just stop. Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” you pleaded, not knowing what else he wanted from you. You gave him an out; clear and easy. Wasn’t that enough? Did he have to hurt you even more?

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” He let out on a sigh, shaking his head. “But sweetheart, please don’t look at me like that,” You looked like a terrified deer, ready to run at the first sign of danger and he couldn’t bear that it was directed at him. He could handle your tenacity, your fire, anything else but the defeated look on your face. It made his heart ache.

He tried again, speaking gently, “Y/N, if you want me to leave for the night, I will. I think you might be right, we need some space after this, clear our heads,” 

This time, he went near you and you let him, you let his hands hold your arms like he’s done in past arguments. You let him look you straight in the eye like he’s done so many times before. You let him say his piece, already knowing where it was headed like the back of your hand. You operated like this. Clockwork. When one pushed, the other shoved. 

One last time. 

“But promise me you’ll be here in the morning to talk. You went inside my head, Y/N, but I wanna work through this. I love you,” he said it like he meant it, his heart on his sleeve but you weren’t so sure you believed him anymore. 

“You know I love you, right?” He asked just like the last time. Clockwork. 

No. I don’t. 

You nodded your head. 

-----------------

He tossed and turned that night, the look of hurt on your face scarred in his memory. He knew he shouldn’t have left, knew he should’ve fought to stay.

It was true that he was furious but any animosity he felt immediately simmered after the mention of Peggy. He was way out of line. He wanted to apologize, to pull you into his arms and kiss away the bitter words he spoke but he was still so shaken about what you had done, what you had seen, and so he figured he should let it rest first, giving you both time and space to calm down. Everything looked better in the morning, right? 

But your face came unbidden in his mind, he could still remember the exact moment you closed yourself off to him, your eyes hauntingly empty and hollow, shoulders hunched, arms instinctively wrapped to yourself. So small and vulnerable. 

He should’ve stayed, dammit! 

He let out a grunt as he stared up at the ceiling. He still couldn’t believe you used your abilities on him, couldn’t believe you’d go so far when you’d never ever shied away from asking him anything. Heck, you’d basically proposed to him with all your nagging of starting a family.

Why did you have to see that?

He hissed and shook his head, guilt gnawing in his stomach. Your power was able to force out his deepest dreams and desires. But was that the whole truth? If he hadn’t woken up and you’d stuck a little longer then you would’ve known just how scared and confused he was. What you saw was the Steve who still clung to the past, the part of him that wanted to go back, yearned to go back because it was safer, it was where he truly belonged. 

But then again, he wasn’t that same man anymore, was he? Not fully anyway. In more ways than one, he had moved on. For the past couple of years, he did, in fact, envision a future with you. He was going to propose until the snap happened and then, everything changed. He saw his friends, his family, gone to dust. He could still hear Bucky’s echoing words, calling out to him. All those lost souls vanished as if they never existed while he stood, helpless and useless. Why spare him again? Why did he have to go through it all again? Didn’t he have enough pain and loss in one lifetime? 

And so he started thinking of the past. The good ol’ days, if you could even really call it that. It started out as a tiny flicker of curiosity. You both had just found a new apartment in New York, it wasn’t all that hard with the sudden vacancies. You were standing in the middle of the room, hands on your hips while he sat at the edge of the bed his head bowed, elbows resting on his knees. 

“Steve, we need to start thinking of the future. I know it’s hard but they’re not coming back and we can’t keep doing what we’re doing. We can get away from all this, you know, start a new life. Don’t you want that too?”

He swallowed a lump in his throat. He wanted to fight, to try again and again until he got everyone back. He was grieving, angry, and above all, guilty. Why couldn’t he do what he was made for in the first place? How did he let all of this happen? And why, for god’s sake, why did he have to survive while the others vanished?

But you were right. Of course, you were right. The ever practical and optimistic you. He looked at you with tired eyes, not wanting to argue, and nodded his head. He still had you, that was a win. For every shitty thing that happened since, at least you were alive and he wouldn’t trade that for the world but some jaded, cynical part of him questioned how long that would last. The universe clearly had a bone to pick with him and it was only a matter of time before you were taken from him too and that scared the living shit out of him.  

And so he had started to wonder what if?

What if he never had to wake up from the ice? What if he never had to crash the plane in the first place? What if he was where he was really supposed to be? 

All those questions drifted down into one person, the one that got away. Peggy.  She was his link to the past, everything that was sweet and wonderful. The dance he missed, the future he wanted when everything settled down into peace after the war. Peace. As ironic as that sounded, she reminded him of peace. The little dream he had in the back of his head whenever he infiltrated a nazi base camp. Every mission, every fight, he would think one more of this and the war would be over, one more and I get back to her. Peace. 

He craved for that peace so much, he didn’t even realize what he had been doing. He lived in that dream, longing for the time he could never get back. All the while you were hurting, so desperately trying to cling on to him while he slipped into himself. You needed him but he continued to chase the life he lost, for all his talk of moving on. He didn’t even realize how his fear of losing you has led him down to the very verge of it and now, he was anxious and afraid. So so afraid. You wouldn’t leave him, would you? God, he’d do anything, drop everything, to follow you.

That realization just made his head spin, was he really willing to let everything go just like that? Of course, he was. There was no question about it. Nothing else mattered if it meant losing you. It was a damned shame he only realized that now. 

We can work through this, he thought to himself. He couldn’t let you go, wouldn’t let you go. It didn’t even matter what you had done anymore, not right now, not when all he wanted was for you to know everything, that above all, he was choosing you. He loves you. 

I’ll make this work. We’ll make this work. 

----------------------------------

He stared at his friend’s face, her red hair already outgrowing the blonde curls that framed her frowning face. She couldn’t believe it. Hell, even he didn’t believe it. How could you? 

--

Before the sun had even risen, he was already up, tying his shoelaces with his jittery hands. He had never been so nervous in his life. Not even when he had to crash his own plane, with that came a sense of doom and certainty but this? This was torture. This was hell. 

What was he going to say? How was he going to explain himself? What could he do to make you stay?

What you had done the night before, invading his most private thoughts, had been pushed to the side. In his heart, he had already forgiven you, understood why you had to do what you did. He knew you, the kind of person you were and you would never have done it had you not thought it was necessary. And with everything that he’s done and what you heard, could he really judge you for it? 

He rushed into the apartment, his heart already heavy. He couldn’t find it in himself to wait until you woke up and instead gave a tentative, “Y/N?” as he poked his head into the bedroom door, the sight of it knocking the air right out of him. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

The neatly made up bed greeted him, curtains drawn back to illuminate the empty room. His heart dropped to his stomach, “No, no, no, no, no,” 

“Y/N?” he shouted into the room, somehow hoping he was mistaken, that you were still here, that you’d show up. 

Did you really leave him? Could you really have done that?

He ran to the bathroom, calling out to you, but it was the same as he had left it. Except all of your stuff was gone. Your toiletries by the sink, all the little hair ties you kept lying around. Gone. 

How could you do this to him? How could you leave without saying goodbye? 

All the clothes he had always folded for you after you tossed them in the closet weren’t there anymore. Any trace of you was now gone. He let out a curse, his cold hand fumbling for his phone in his pocket. No messages, no calls.

“Come on, pick up,” He prayed into the phone. Please, please, please. When the monotonous operator answered, he let out a shout,

“Fuck!” 

Throwing his phone unto the bed, he realized even the clock he had thrown in his temper had been cleaned away, a letter laid down on where it was supposed to be. 

He picked it up quickly, his breathing rapid at the two simple words scrawled in your distinct handwriting. 

I’m sorry. 

Crumbling the paper in his fist, he shakily put it to his pale lips. Breathe...

What were you thinking? You couldn’t have even left a number to contact you? How was he supposed to find you now? He felt himself grow weak in the knees. He knew the type of training you had with the X-men, if you didn’t want to found, you wouldn’t. 

Had he lost you forever? 

Hands shaking at the thought, he ran. Ran to get away from his emotions. Lost, angry and hurt. What the hell had you done? 

What the hell had you done?

--

Natasha let out an exhale, bringing him out of his reverie. The look of hurt still evident on her face, she couldn’t believe you’d just leave without saying goodbye.

“If there’s one thing I know is that she loves you. You need to fix this, Steve,” 

Before he could even reply, the front gate’s access flashed before her. Mindlessly swiping it, they both turned to the monitor, their minds still preoccupied on where you could be. The man standing outside, waving his arms about looked eerily familiar but that couldn’t be...

Scott Lang?

Oh god, what now?

[hollowsart]

Welp, I've been here long enough and now i have to say it.

I have never seen any movie with Doc Ock. I only know the memes. I do not know the actor, or his canon full name. I have no idea what this man is like nor if he's a good character.

But goshdarnit I have been swayed by Hollow osmosis and I like him. I love this man. I must see more of this man.

I hope you're happy with yourself /lh

Oh, as horrible and campy of a movie as it is, Spiderman 2 is hilariously bad, def recommend watching it just once. If you would rather have a crash course version of it that is just as funny there's this [Screen Rant Pitch] video a friend sent me that honestly made my re-watch of the movie all the better. (minus the 2 consecutive scenes of actual horror violence, but that's just me being a baby lol)

Like, it is SO BAD but it DOES introduce the actor as the character and shows a unique take on the character as a whole compared to other iterations. (plus, I cannot tell you how many people were/are so thirsty for his doc ock LOL). His Doc Ock also comes back in Spiderman: No Way Home which is definitely one of my favorite movies, it's so funny and SO GOOD. not too many Doc Ock moments, but what moments there are of him are so good and fun <3 (I HIGHLY rec it)

The Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon (which you can find in various places online to watch) is also a GREAT cartoon that showcases Doc Ock a fair amount among many other characters. Doc Ock in TSSM is definitely one of the handful of fan favorites among the Doc Ock fans, and I can absolutely see why, cuz I really love TSSM Otto a lot, too. He was just a precious little marshmallow man who should have quit his job years ago. 😔

It depends on the media as well as the story as to whether or not he is a heartless villain who more than happily chose his life of crime, or the life of a villain was thrust upon him unwillingly and he had to accept his fate as such. Or, in the case of Olivia Octavius from the Spiderverse movie (highly recommend), she has just always kinda been like that, crazy science lady with nothing to lose.

Also I am very happy to spread the octo-appreciation :)

You are very welcome <3

[navalcriminalimagines]

Taken & Found - 1

Request 1: Hey there! I'd really like to see a comforting Gibbs after the reader was kidnapped?

Request 2: Could ya do something with the reader being kidnapped and tortured in captivity for a long time and after she was rescued and came back Gibbs tries to get her to talk about what happened to her so he can figure out how to help/comfort her?

Request 3: May I request something with Gibbs and scared reader? Maybe they’re like trapped somewhere or she’s going under for a surgery? You can decide reader’s fate!

This is a two-part fic. This part is basically full angst, focused on Gibbs and the comforting, healing focus on Reader will come in the second part. I wanted to separate both.

Pairing: Gibbs x Reader

TW: angst, kidnapping, mention of suicide, depression, slight alcoholism

Words count: 3k

Tags: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @madamsnape921 @specialagentastra @ncisfan @zetasaturno99

She was supposed to be thirty-five years old today.

And it was one of those very rare days Gibbs didn’t want to get out of bed.

He spent the night working on his boat in the basement, thinking about what his life would be if anything had happened. But he would never know, would he? No matter how bad he wished Shannon and Kelly weren’t dead, how bad he wished you were here with him… all of this happened. And he found himself alone in his basement.

Well, not entirely alone. He had a bottle of bourbon to keep him company, and Fraser, an old black labrador. Your old black lab. Your furry baby, as you used to say.

You rescued it when it was just a puppy, a couple of years before you joined NCIS. So, Gibbs has always known you with this loving thing. At some point, you would even take him to the office and Fraser’s favorite spot was under Gibbs’s desk.

Gibbs never wanted to get attached to the dog. Fraser wasn’t his, it was yours and he respected that. But somehow, you both made your way to his heart.

But only Fraser was still here.

Taking a sip of bourbon directly out of the bottle, his eyes landed on your pet, curled up in the armchair Gibbs put here years ago after you made a remark. “You know, you should put something down here. An armchair or something for people who visit.” You said, while caressing the wood with your fingertips. God did he wish he was the boat at this very moment.

“People who visit never stick around.” He answered, sternly.

“I stick around,” you grinned.

Indeed, you did stick around. A lot. Probably too much.

Would’ve saved him the heartbreak if you didn’t.

A week later, an armchair was down his basement.

With the bottle still in his hand, Gibbs sat next to Fraser and started to toy the blankie. Well, technically, it was not a blankie. It was a tee-shirt. One of yours. The one you left at his house, two years ago.

The top, representing one of your favorite bands, was destroyed now. Fraser chewed it, curled against it nonstop for two years, it was now just some cotton with dog’s hair on it. It didn’t have your smell anymore, it had Fraser’s, but Gibbs never had the strength to take it away from the dog to wash it.

He never had the strength to do much after you disappeared.

When it was clear to the team that you had been taken, kidnapped, abducted or whatever, Gibbs searched for you for weeks, probably mouths. He still does, to be honest, just not 24/7 anymore.

The first weeks, he asked - or actually, ordered - Abby to take care of Fraser. Gibbs was spending all of his time away, looking for you, he couldn’t take care of someone - well, a living thing. The lab tech happily obliged, but Fraser’s health quickly deteriorated. The dog wasn’t eating, or drinking. All he did was lay on the floor, waiting for his mum to come back.

“What, Abby? I don’t—“ not a welcoming way to answer the phone but she didn’t hold it against him.

“I know you’re busy, Gibbs, but I’m taking Fraser to the vet. He’s not okay at all.”

Abby heard her boss taking a deep breath. “Which vet? I’ll be here as soon as I can.”

The dog was clearly letting himself die. Without you, he didn’t see the point of living and Gibbs understood that. If he told anyone what he did after he got Fraser from the vet, they would think he was crazy. Maybe he was, but he didn’t care at this point. He didn’t care about anything, anymore.

Fraser was depressed and there was nothing the vet could do about it. So, they let Gibbs take him home.

And he took him home. His real home; your apartment. Fraser immediately lay on your bed and cried. “You’re reading my mind, Fra.” Gibbs muttered to himself, while preparing a bowl for the pet.

Gibbs had been in your room a few times, but he never paid attention to your stuff. All his attention was on you and your body when it happened. But as he was sitting on the floor, his back against your bed, he allowed himself to take a look around. It was very much you. Minimalist with your touch. He saw your guitar, your messy wardrobe, candles and some Polaroid pictures of people you love. Gibbs never paid attention to those pictures until this moment and one grabbed his attention.

A picture of him. You could see him from afar, aiming to throw a ball. He remembered that night but he never knew you took a picture.

Ziva had invited him to throw a few balls on a baseball field. It was a nice summer night and they had just saved many people from getting blown up. It was also the first night you kissed him. In his basement, you teased him like you always did and ended up with your lips on his. He wasn’t ready for it at that moment, and when he realised what had happened, you were already gone.

Gibbs held the picture in his hand and before sitting back exactly where he was, he went to the kitchen, grabbed what he had prepared and came back.

Fraser was still laying on your bed, his face on your pillow. Gibbs carried him in his arms, the labrador didn’t even fight back or anything. He put him in front of the bowl and Gibbs sat across. “You wanna die, Fra, huh?” The dog looked at him with horrifying sadness in his eyes. “You and me both, buddy. So let’s do this.”

Gibbs put the picture next to the bowl and grabbed his gun and the bottle of whiskey. “I know you know that salmon. Eat it, choke, and when you take your last breath, I’ll pull the trigger.” He said, pressing the gun against his temple.

Fraser is deadly allergic to salmon. When he was a few months old, you fed him some and the reaction was almost instantaneous. Luckily, you took him to the vet right on time for them to save him. “Salmon is banned from the house.” you said on the ride home.

The dog didn’t move one bit. With his face still resting on the floor, he kept looking at the man. Gibbs swore he saw tears in the damn dog’s eyes. “So? Whatcha waiting for? Eat it. It’s good salmon, trust me.” He said, drinking the brown liquor.

If Fraser could talk, he would’ve told him; ‘I may let myself die, but you’re damn crazy.’ Which would’ve been fair.

Gibbs was going crazy. It was the last straw. The last punch in the guts he could take. He had reached his limit.

He was finally letting himself love again and get loved in return. And someone took that away from him. All over again.

He got it, the universe hates him for some reasons. Why would he keep pushing it then?

Gibbs stayed up all night, drinking and waiting for Fraser to eat the fish and die. So he could pull the trigger and end this once and for all.

But Fra never did. Instead, around 5am, the dog went to grab something from the bathroom and put it on Gibbs’ lap. It was one of his hoodies. A hoodie you stole from him. Gibbs buried his nose in it and he could smell you. For the first time in many years, he let himself cry. He cried like a fucking baby, under the watch of your fucking dog.

At some point, he felt that Fraser was trying to nudge his nose in the hoodie too. “We’ll find her, Fra. We have to.”

If Gibbs had killed himself, along with Fraser, it would’ve meant you were gone forever. Because eventually, people would’ve stopped looking for you. They would’ve stopped thinking about you and just pretended you’re dead.

But Gibbs knew you weren’t dead. He knew it deep inside him. Because if you were dead, Fraser would’ve eaten the salmon and he would’ve pulled the trigger.

Laying in his bed, Gibbs turned on his side and found himself face to face with Fraser. The dog was sleeping and snoring. That’s what he does most of his time. Fra was still depressed, but he didn’t let himself die anymore. He eats and drinks the bare minimum. He doesn’t play anymore though. He used to be a happy, playful and loving dog. Now he’s just laying around, waiting for you to come back.

Just like Gibbs.

They both lost weight. Gibbs didn’t even bother to look at himself in the mirror anymore. He hadn’t been to the hairdresser in a while. His hair was longer than it has never been, and his beard was prominent now. You would probably freak out if you saw him like this. You would order him to shave and get his marine haircut back. You would feed him - and Fraser - until they are full. He just wished you were here.

He reached for Fraser’s head and pet him for a moment. “The boat is done and I can’t even offer it to her.” He sadly whispered. It’s been his plan a long time before you were gone. Building a boat after and for you. Now it was your thirty-fifth birthday, the boat was fucking done but he coudn’t teach you how to operate it like he promised.

For the next two weeks, Gibbs would stay in the basement, and stare at the finished product. There was nothing left to do on it, so he just sat behind the wheel, files on his lap and bourdon in one hand. His use of alcohol has never been higher than it is now. You’d scold him if you knew.

Maybe he’s self-destructing, hoping you’d show up and make everything right again. It was stupid, since you didn’t leave on your own. You were taken. Someone took you, and god knows what they were doing to you. This awoke a rage he never knew he had. He’d kill that - or those - person with his bare hands if he ever has a chance.

A month after your birthday, Gibbs was basically falling asleep in his boat, relatively drunk. Fraser was on his lap - he doesn’t realise he’s not a puppy anymore - when the dog shot his head up. “Easy, that’s just Fornell.” Gibbs mumbled, recognizing his friend’s footsteps.

“My two favorite depressed boys.” Tobias greeted them. He gently patted Fraser’s head and looked at his friend. “I need you to sober up, Gibbs. We need to talk about something important.”

“Just say whatever you have to say. I’m not that drunk.”

“Yeah, right.” Tobias grabbed the bottle from Gibbs’s hand and checked how empty it was. But Tobias knew only one thing would make him react, so he went straight to the point. “It’s about Y/N, Gibbs. Get your ass—“

Before the FBI agent could finish his sentence, Gibbs had practically thrown Fraser away. The poor dog looked at him with hurt in his eyes. It was only then that Gibbs saw the file his friend was holding against his chest. He didn’t think twice and tore it out of his grip. Tobias let him.

There wasn’t much in the file, just a picture.

A picture of you.

You looked different, thinner, your hair was shorter and in a completely different color. You looked like a homeless woman.

Gibbs’s jaw dropped. His head was spinning so fast, he needed to sit again. He touched the picture with his fingertips so softly, hoping it was like touching you. A lot of things were going through his mind at this moment, he actually drew a blank. “It was taken two days ago. In Wyoming.”

Gibbs didn’t need more.

Tobias had everything planned before he showed up at Gibbs’s place. One of the FBI private planes was waiting for them, in order to take them off to Wyoming. He had asked Emily if she could dogsit Fraser for a few days, and he even called Vance to let him know he was taking Gibbs with him.

In the plane, he told Gibbs how he came across this picture and all of the info he had, which wasn’t much to be honest. As far as they knew, you were in one city of Wyoming two days ago. Maybe you were gone by now.

But all Gibbs could focus on was that picture. He didn’t take his eyes off it since he opened the file. This was you. You were alive. Whatever happened, whatever the reasons you found yourself here, you were fucking alive.

Tobias looked at his friend. He’ll spend the rest of his life pretending he didn’t see the tear rolling down his cheek. “How you feeling?” He tentatively asked.

“I—I don’t know. It’s a lot.”

“She’s alive. We know it. We’ll find her.”

“I’ve always known she was alive.”

No doubt he did.

It was hard for Tobias to tame Gibbs after they landed. The agent was already barking orders at everybody and anybody, he was ready to organize a fucking manhunt to find you. But the first place they went was where the picture was taken. Gibbs spent hours in the area, while Tobias went to see the local cops. When he tried to check on Gibbs, the man never answered.

In the picture, you were looking at the surveillance camera. You knew you were being watched. You did it on purpose, Gibbs was sure of it. You must have left a clue somewhere around.

You looked scared, someone must have been following you. But he knew from what Tobias said; there wasn’t much more on the video. You were briefly seen and then disappeared, again. “Talk to me, Y/N.” Gibbs thought to himself while looking around.

It was only around noon that it hit him. He finally saw it.

Right there on the graffiti wall.

“Born to lose, live to win.”

Your handwriting. This sentence. Your tattoo.

You must have written this to let him know he should look at this wall. So he did. He studied those graffitis for a long moment, until he saw what he needed to see.

Numbers. GPS coordinates.

He called McGee, not paying attention to the missed calls he had. He gave him the coordinates and Tim gave him an address.

Was that it? The nightmare was finally over? He would go to this address, find you and take you home. Finally.

Fucking finally.

He felt dizzy while running to the address. It wasn’t that far away, and there was no way he’d wait for Fornell or a cab. So, he jogged to this fucking house. When he was standing in front of it, his heart was beating so fast, he thought it would stop.

But he couldn’t die now. He would die after he found you but not now.

He didn’t care about procedures or anything. He grabbed his gun, and let himself in the house by knocking out the door. A man was sitting there, on the couch.

The house was pure filth. The man seemed to be a bit younger than him, and he looked like a psychopath. Which he is, considering he took you.

The man was standing in his living room, his hands up as Gibbs pointed the gun at him. In a flash, Gibbs was standing right in front of the man, the gun pressed against his throat. The man looked scared, he didn’t even try to fight. “What the hell, man? Who are you? What do—“

“Shut your mouth. Where is she?” Gibbs asked, suppressing the urge to beat the man to death right now. That would come later. He needed to find you first.

“Who? There’s no—“

Gibbs’s knee hit him right in his crotch and that bastard fell on the floor. “You’re living the final hour of your life, you better tell me where the hell is Y/N, before I watch life leaving your fucking eyes.”

“I—I—“

Seeing his hesitation, Gibbs punched him. “Where?!” He yelled, but the man stayed silent. “Fine.”

Gibbs grabbed the guy by his collar to put him back up. He was physically impressive, but the adrenaline running through Gibbs’s veins gave him incredible strength. He threw him on the first chair he saw and immediately cuffed him to it. He punched him once more, harder this time.

His nose and lips were bloody, but of course it wasn’t enough. Gibbs fought a lot in his life. To defend himself or to arrest someone, but never, had he been filled with that much rage and anger. He didn’t think twice before his boot hit the man directly in his face, knocking him unconscious. He stared as the man fell on the floor along with the chair he was cuffed to.

He needed to find you. Right now.

No need to be a federal agent to know a psychopath would hold you captive somewhere private.

So he immediately looked for a basement, which he quickly found and he saw the door.

A reinforced door with quite a few locks. Keys. He needed keys that he found in the man’s pocket. Although he was still laying on the floor, fighting to regain consciousness, Gibbs kicked him again, in the stomach this time. He wasn’t holding back his strength one bit. He will kill him anyway.

As he was unlocking the door, his hands were shaking like they never did before. His heart was still pounding in his chest. He still felt dizzy.

He was sure his heart actually stopped when he spotted you on the one-person bed. You were holding your knees against your chest. It was dark, but it was you. You were there, a few feet in front of him. He didn’t even know what to do.

But you did.

When you realised who was standing in front of you, you weakly jumped off the bed and rushed into his arms.

The only thing that kept you alive all this time; knowing that he would find you.

You felt even smaller than you already were. With your arms wrapped around his waist, your face buried in his chest, Gibbs felt you crying.

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, afraid it wasn’t real. Afraid he may hurt you. Afraid you would disappear again. “You found me.” he heard you whispering.

That he did.