#to avoid confusion about who I am
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Welcome to my blog!
Tell me I did not just post all of my content without an intro (-_-)
Anyway, I'm mythological-mayhem, or Iris/Liara (she/her)! I do a ton of stuff on mythology in general, including Greek, Aztec, And a little bit of Norse and Egyptian. I love all mythology, and while I haven't studied all of them yet, leave me a myth suggestion or something and I'll be glad to look into it!
I post a lot of content involving headcanons, incorrect quotes, and a lot of mythology brain rot, but I'll reblog anything important enough.
My ask box is always open, but no NSFW and nothing really graphic unless it's historically accurate (I have a very loose definition of graphic, so it's generally fine). No NSFW blogs should be following me, and I will block any and all that I see.
I'll warn you guys now: I do not have a consistent blogging schedule, and I've yet to set up a queue. It could be anywhere in between one day to one or two weeks between posts. My schedule is really busy, but I enjoy posting and will do it several times throughout the week if I'm in the mood. If you're into a blog with consistent posting, this isn't the one, sorry.
Anyway, that should cover it! Hope to see you around!
2024 Edit: Okay, so I've decided that I'm going to make this blog focus on Aztec mythology more than the others, due to the real lack of this content I see. Basically because if no one's going to do it, I will. There has been a drought of Aztec god stuff on Tumblr and I fully intend this blog to be the rain that brings more mythological diversity to this website (wowww that was more poetic than I'm usually capable of).
From now, the layout of the blog will be 50% Aztec mythology, 35% Greek mythology, and 15% other mythologies. I am a Tezcatlipoca fan so like if you hate him dni (but I do post some mild hate of him sometimes, not really hate more like frustration/disappointment because you guys this man has done a LOT of things wrong).
Anyway that should really cover it, see you guys!
#intro#hi#to all of you who liked reblogged and followed without knowing who I am#I love you guys#but here's an official intro#to avoid confusion about who I am#yes I'm a real person#anyway back to the mythology brainrot
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Okay but a thought of mine given new rise by the animated intro after having it niggle at the back of my mind for months now are Ludinus and Otohan as villains and who’s going to be standing as the final big bad at the end of the campaign, the way Vecna and Lucien did for c1 and c2.
Because the obvious answer is Ludinus. He’s the instigator, the leader of the cult, a villain in the making for 2 whole campaigns and over a thousand years (not to mention the one who's actually interacted with the party outside of fights). But Otohan is the one standing center stage of the villain line-up in the opening. She’s the one shown actively fighting the party. And, more importantly (as narrative matters more than barely glimpsed easter eggs), she's the one tied to the history and setting of Marquet, who has actual stakes in the people there and has fought for (and against) them before in the Apex War (while the place Ludinus called home was torn down centuries ago, leaving him caring for seemingly nothing but his ultimate goal since). She’s the one who’s actually Ruidusborn, and she’s tied to the Luxon as well with her strange magic. And despite all this, she’s mostly passed under the radar so far, given very little developments or motives or history or even personality. She’s little more than a cool aesthetic and a handful of threats.
And here’s my thought: maybe that’s on purpose. Ludinus, in his great arrogance, has placed himself as the greatest threat, and he’s being treated as such by the Hells. But is he? He steals immortality, appropriates the very concept of being Ruidusborn while holding a secret resentment for lacking the very powers it grants. He barely knows what he’s doing, and certainly not what he's about to unleash. And is there anything more satisfying than seeing a deeply arrogant and hubristic villain taken down by his own folly in underestimating those around him? So what if, as the final fight edges closer, the person actually holding the powers Ludinus pretends to steps up out of the shadows she placed herself in, keeping her motives to herself, barely remarked upon by Ludinus or the Hells or the audience, and personally cuts him down and takes her place as THE exalted Ruidusborn?
#critical role#cr3#ludinus da'leth#otohan thull#listen seeing arrogant villains who think themselves unbeatable taken down in great battles is cool and all#but there’s something deeply satisfying in seeing them made small by something utterly avoidable#ludinus thinks of the gods as his ultimate enemies#imagine the horror and confusion on his face if his right hand woman#(the one who’s place and powers and land he's brazenly laid claim to)#casually steps up and stabs him in the back#revealing that she’s been playing him since the start to grow her power while keeping her actual motives close to her chest#mr mercer i am begging you let us know more about otohan and the apex war. let her be more than a battle piece with a fancy backpack#not tagging this as spoilers bc it isn’t but I SURE HOPE IT WILL BE#nella talks cr
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I love singNsong again reminding people in Side Story that Dokja wanted other people to read TWSA (he wrote reviews and comments! It was his first wish), and he only stopped bothering because people harassed him for it. He didn't gate-keep the story. When he's avoiding talking to Sangah about it at the beginning of ORV, it's because he knows what happens when he tells people about the story, not because he's gate-keeping it from her. He notes he's not proud of his hobby (likely because he's been bullied all through his life, including for reading the thing he loves): he finds it embarrassing to talk about, and better respects her studying Spanish in her free time (learning another language is a generally accepted thing in society). He assumes she won't care or will look at him funny (or worse) for when she learns about the novel he's into.
Basically anyone writing "let's gatekeep ORV" posts because of the anime announcement or because they dislike the manhwa or some other weirdness, y'all are the villains in the scenario.
The literal climax of the story is about sharing ORV with as many people as possible. What story were y'all reading?
#orv#really tired of the stupid gate-keepy bs in some parts of this fandom#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#side story spoilers#it's been quite fascinating seeing novel fanatics come out of the woodwork against potential anime fans#while showing how much they hate the manhwa and manhwa fans too#the only actual official English translation we have is the manhwa#acting like we're all in this together like no#I adore the novel and the manhwa#and folks who started with the manhwa or just happen to also like the manhwa but also like the novel see you for what you are#avoiding talking about something is not gatekeeping#it's often recognizing various social cues#like oh this person probably isn't familiar and I don't care to explain#or I'm worried they'll treat me badly if they know#when you're trying to connect with someone you tend to look for things you share not stuff you don't#if Dokja heard about people trying to gatekeep orv he would be disgusted#also NOT gatekeeping orv is literally the climax of the story I am so deeply confused by people encouraging gatekeeping of it#you're making han suyeong mad#she didn't nearly kill herself writing orv in order to share it to everyone they could find so people could gatekeep it#that is literally the opposite of the goal#it's not bad to ask if folks have read the novel because for a variety of reasons folks may not have#but it is bad to act like reading the novel is a fandom requirement especially given all we have is a fantranslation using MTL#or you must love the novel above others or the novel only#I want singnsong to get fucking rich from this story they shared and which I and many adore#gatekeeping does not make that happen#also good luck getting people to buy the Yen Press novel translation when it comes out when you act like this#the manhwa is available in at least seven languages officially fuck off with this gatekeeping crap#don't get me started how a lot of y'all don't even know what twatf is and a good chunk of y'all who won't even touch it when you do know#and that doesn't exactly bother me but it does bug me when book purists get all high and mighty
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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recently had a gender talk where I explained my whole deal and have to say it does not get less weird to explicitly come out as 'not a trans woman' to someone.
#I have complicated feelings as a publicly trans person who is read as a trans woman about what I should disclose#typically only queer people with cool genders get the full explanation#but most people I went to law school with; work with; and interact with assume I am a trans woman#certainly not going to correct them all#but it does cause this weird pressure to continue NOT passing as a cis woman or mention something that would give me away as AFAB#in order to avoid confusion and having to explain even more#but I assume when my gender takes another left turn in 3-5 years I can just explain then#“I'm not detransitioning you see I'm re-re-transitioning it's a totally separate thing I have layers of trans like a russian nesting doll”
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How do you know so much about historical succession rules? Is it a special interest or did you study history/related field? Letting you know I really enjoy your rants about it.
I do have a degree in Modern History, though having typed that I think the name may be misleading as "Modern" was anything from 1500 CE onwards and I did a lot of 18th century stuff. (I did a bit of Medieval History as well, but only the first two years. Ironically that was because I got sick of everything being about kings all the fucking time!) That was years ago, but I've kept an interest in history since then.
But my knowledge of European (mostly English) monarchies isn't really from that (I mostly did revolutions back at uni) it's that mental health issues stopped me reading books for YEARS and then I somehow discovered (can't remember how) that I could cope with historical novels of the Philippa Fucking Gregory sort, which is maybe odd but we do live in an odd world. This has since allowed me back into other genres and also into non-fictional history, and (you can see where this is going, right?) left me knowing a fair bit about roughly the Tudor period of English history.
Now, I don't like monarchies. I do my best not to know too much about the current British lot - spitefully so, even! - but that bit of time from about the Wars of the Roses to the end of the Tudors is part soap-opera and part-trainwreck. The sort of WTF drama that you just cannot look away from. Everyone's related to everyone else and there's quite a lot of scandal and murder and that sort of thing. This is how I, such an obvious intellectual, got drawn into the world of not-exactly-literary historical novels, aided by my existing knowledge of the vague plot outlines that I learned at university. And I just sort of picked up more information as I read the same few stories over and over again written by different authors.
For those lucky enough not to have been consumed by this stuff, the main plot of both the Wars of the Roses and the Tudor era monarchy is "oh no, mah succession!! D: D:" so this is why I know that stuff specifically. Luckily for everyone this has only fairly recently been in any way relevant to any fandom I'm in, though the historian in me must here point out that Early Medieval Scandanavian Monarchy Rules aren't always the same as Early Modern English Succession Rules, but I don't think the MCU knows that either and fuck it everyone in these films has magic powers anyway.
It's not a special interest as I am not neurodiverse (at least in that specific way) I'm just a bit weird and also a nerd.
#replies#i believe i am technically neurodiverse due to OCD but i don't identify as such as i feel like i'm not the right sort and it'd confuse folk#but with this thing it's just that i'm a bit of a nerd (which is fine! it's valid!)#i've been avoiding that Hamilton thing because the American Revolutionary War period could also get addictive I feel#the 18th century was - IMO - a period of the flourishing of batshit insane middle-class chancers with unprecedented access to power#in a good way!! suddenly 5 extra people can vote! and most of those people are very driven and slightly strange!#(my knowings of this era have yet to prove useful in fandom other than i knew who Crispus Attucks was when watching Luke Cage)#about me
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that fic idea where WWX is sent to a universe where JC isn't paying attention to him/being sad about him because JGY was JC's childhood bestie... effervescent
the many stages of WWX's reaction
YEAH. THE FEELINGS. THE MANY STAGES OF WWX'S REACTIONS INDEED
(sorry I got overboard while thinking how things would play...) it's very long!!
you haven't asked, but imo at the start, wwx is very excited! He is in his old body again! He has his strong golden core back!( Imo he is scarred by being 'the number one cultivation world's enemy'.) So, it's nice having cultivators who admire him! He is happily married with the love of his life, he is an accomplished scientist and a fun teacher! He didn't even kill 2000 people or his shijie! Everything is perfect.
So he goes to visit jc: his shidi isn't mad at him anymore! Why should he be? He didn't have crimes under his belt anymore.
Lotus Pier, the SAME lotus pier as before the massacre (there was a war, wwx knows that. Maybe during the rebuilding jc has found someone with great memory! Nice!), doesn't throw him out. He feels welcomed.
And then he goes to the sect leader (he has to ask before the disciples let him in the throne room. Rude, but he understands, jc loves formality. - lwj is quite confused... Why would sect leader jiang immediately run to welcome them? But wei ying is happy, so he holds back)
And then, they arrive at the throne room... And jc is there, at his rightful place, proud and scowly, and wwx is so HAPPY. He's at home again!
"jiang cheng, I am back!"
"..."
"..."
jc is so confused that stares at him, unimpressed. He doesn't know this wwx, but he has heard how weird he can be. Still, his inventions are amazing and useful and he is lwj's husband, and lwj is important to lxc... He can't be rude, he has to maintain a good relationship with the Lan. "I didn't know that wei-xiansheng has already been at Lotus Pier before, but I am glad to host such honorable guests. I would say to make yourself at home, but you have already done it forgetting formality", he sneers and wwx is confused. What the fuck jc?! Do you want formalities?! I beat your ass so many times, do you want me to bow to you???
Before wwx can say something, jc calls his second in command and Meng Yao arrives. He escorts them, under jc's order, to their guest room.
wwx is so confused that he lets it happen. Then, he asks his husband what the fuck is happening. Why is meng yao here? Isn't he dead? lwj is worried about his husband' deteriorating memory, but he answers. He would do everything for his husband. But then wei ying's face goes white, then red, then purple! Is wei ying sick?????? He needs to find a good healer to help his husband!! So he leaves the room with an excuse.
In the meantime, wwx is fuming! MY killed shijie!!! He killed jzx, shijie, 2000 people, then comes back (how?? Idk. plot. plot), and JC LET HIM AT LOTUS PIER. JC WHAT THE FUCK!! YOU COULDN'T STAND MY SIGHT FOR ONE SECOND, NOW YOU LET MENG YAO IN!! BASTARD.
It's unacceptable! He needs to fix things!!! He has to, if jc doesn't!!! He goes to jc's personal pavilion ('see, meng yao, I know lotus pier! Even better than you!' he mocks MY speech and suggestions about lotus pier's best inns).
When he arrives, - he sneaks really, now lotus pier has an hell of security system, he almost got caught! That never happened to him before! - he sees jc, MY AND jl eating at a low table. All together. Happily.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? JL EVEN YOU! THE BETRAYAL! wwx knows that jl in the other universe forgives him (he is shijie' son, at the end of the day) but jgy's too???? Now???? jgy wasn't stabbed by jl! What right does he have to sit at his side?!?! And jl and wwx's relationship was still fragile, they were still working on trust and shit like that, what's the easy way they talk???? JC STOP PEALING LOTUS SEEDS FOR MY TOO. ONLY JL CAN HAVE THEM.
Unfortunately wwx is caught by the jiang disciples. They brings him to jc and wwx snaps: "jc what the fuck?!?! He killed shijie!!! You should be skinning him alive not feeding him!! Or just whipping him because you are boring. Whatever. But what the fuck?!"
And jc gets mad, but not 'wwx has pissed me off but it will pass'mad or 'I am rightfully even if unfairly mad about shijie and the peacock' bodies 'mad. No, he is 'you are pissing me off and I would kill you without thoughts - but REALLY KILL you'mad.
jl snaps "how dare you talk about my mother like that?! Do you wanna die???"
And jc" mister wei has overstepped his stay and bounds. I'll forget it for the sake of our clans, just this one time. Nonetheless, what happens to meng yao is a jiang family matter"
Lwj arrives and apologizes in wwx's stead. Then lwj drags him out of lotus pier. wwx is confused and angry. What is lwj doing?? He explains to his husband that jgy's the devil! He is bad and mean and a cunning manipulator! He killed wrh! He killed nmj! He killed jgs!
But lwj is even more worried: yes, Meng Yao - who is jgy? - killed wrh, but both jgs and nmj are still alive. Maybe wei ying is tired. Lwj is so worried about his husband's memory.
No one,- lsz, wn, ljy- believes him... And it's just as before, when he was all alone against the world, where no one believes him or in him... The food is tasteless, the world seems again to not have a place for him... His home isn't his home anymore...
But wwx has shit to fix! He needs to help jc and jl to see jgy's real nature! HE NEEDS TO FIX THINGS
And that's the fic:
jc's unmovable love for his family plus jl's good heart plus jgy cunning scheming vs. wwx inability to handle jc's emotions (indifference is unacceptable! How does jc dare to forget wwx?) plus his exaggerated reactions
#sorry i got carried away#But I would love a fic like that#Imo things will degenerate#And not in wwx's favor#He was easily manipulated by jgs - even if he was traumatized as hell. But still#See imo jgy is even more smart and cunning than his father#He has political awareness he can shift a situation in his favor#And he has jc wrapped around his finger#He has the upper hand!#Into my mind wwx dies again maybe taking down with him at least 300 people#Then he wakes up and he is alive again! Without thinking too much he runs to lotus pier from the cloud recess even with this weak core#He arrives half dead slurring things like: 'jc stops. jc no I killed shijie. It's me who you are mad at. He is scum. Leave him'#jc is confused but concerned : isn't lwj taking proper care of wwx? Let him run like that! Everything could have happened to him without#a strong core!#Then jc hears : 'I am back...'#And he is immediately 'YEAH YOU ARE BACK'#Then he takes wwx and starts to fuss over him giving him spicy soup and lotus seeds#And wwx understands that maybe the first time he wasn't talking to jc but he was avoiding him#The other jc has said that he will support jgy because he is his family. no matter what happened in the past.#And maybe this jc thinks the same. He is fussing over him he is scolding him again as if he cares about wwx#And after what seems almost 3 lifetimes wwx is at home again
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Am I restarting CotL again so I can take the Pit Fight ritual instead of the Wedding and unlock that in the postgame so I can marry a tsundere cat boy without anyone else asking first? MAYBE SO.
#like item 1 I wanna see if the crush chain leads to a pit fight if I'm not a marriage candidate#that sounds hilarious#item 2 it's awkward to be like 'oh. no I unlocked this ritual because eventually I'm going to fight god and then put a ring on him.'#'I understand the confusion and thank you but no'#much easier to avoid marriage proposals if our cult does not have marriage as A Thing until I wanna do it#tea plays too many games#I'm also writing fanfic about this game. somehow. somewhy.#why isn't somewhy a real word we have somewhat and somehow#anyway yeah I was like 'I want a romantic throughline with my horrible cat god-husband'#so#fic#because of who I am as a person#SHOULD I be replaying when they're gonna release a big expansion this year?#maybe not. maybe I should wait.#AM I going to wait?#uh. signs point to no.
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edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened
Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
#yeah. I have pretty severe adhd and along with impacting my focus and things#i have really bad memeory problems because of it. medication doesn't even help that. Like you could tell me something thats really fucking#important or spill out feelings to be and id probably forget it all in the span of a few hours to a day.#i forget to eat. I forget to brush my teeth. i forget to shower. i forget to drink water. i forget to clean things.#i also want to add that. I can have major meltdowns because of my adhd. And I bet other people have that happen too#I dont know about other people but#i would NOT want to be avoided or treated badly in general because of a meltdown. There's at least a few other people who can agree with th#I know im not the only one. So please#dont ridicule people with adhd for not keeping their house clean or forgetting something you said#and don't be a bitch because someone had a meltdown they couldn't control#this isnt me saying “ohhh when someone does ____ in a meltdown they still shouldnt have consequences”“! no.#i fully believes in taking responsibility for your actions#but you guys also need to remember that we arent in the right mind AT ALL during that. i know I can be extremely unpredictable and sometime#violent towards myself or others during the breakdowns#yes I am aware that is not ok.#i will take consequences for my actions#but if you're just going to tell me to stop doing shit for attention or to “stop crying its already happened”#stay the fuck away from me.#(btw i had a worker at a mental hospital do that to me. He also got angry at me and snatched my clothes away from me when i was trying to#get them in the dryer because i was acting confused and was taking too long#what was actually happening was that i was stuck trying to process all the instructions he gave in like less than a minute.#i then had a meltdown after he snatched the clothes away from me. I didnt get violent but i was screaming. not at anyone#just screaming because of how distressed i felt in the moment over that. I felt like i wasnt understood#it felt like nobody even gives me a chance before i get stopped for “being too slow”.#because yes#i can take a while to process things sometimes.#but that doesnt give anyone the right to be an asshole to me in(at least I'd thnk so)#so along with not ridiculing someone for not having their help clean#not brushing their teeth or not drinking enough water#dont be an asshole because someone with adhd had a meltdown and also be patient with them.
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I’m also in a very vulnerable place lately with my RSD and when we try something new and kinky I get triggered super easily even though I tell him to be extremely gentle w me. It’s not that he isn’t but I think sometimes he gets carried away and I feel far too much shame and embarrassment already to handle even a drop more
#it’s hard#I’ve tried to hint at us formally communicating our kinks and desires but it’s really hard#for me to take the lead as a hardcore avoidant#it’s also hard because rn the interest and the shame come almost intertwined#so I’ll be interested in something but feel enough shame that it turns me off and I’m like okay so I don’t like it?#but then if I don’t like it….why am I interacting w it all the time and seeking it out and imaging scenarios and such????#I just want to know if it’s normal to feel apprehensive about this#if it’s normal to not really know how much u like it#bc I see so many ppl on here who are like oh I just knew always#like okay please is there anyone who is confused???? who can lend a hand????
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reluctantly unmuted the canes on twitter for ✨reasons✨, and immediately got a canes reporter's tweet at the top of my dash, upon refresh. yay .. can't wait for this new era 😐
#i fear i can no longer ignore the reality of things#i've been staying quiet bc everyone is happy about it but i Am Not#take a shot every time i mention how i used to be a canes enjoyer because of a certain ✨someone✨#and these certain people ended up on the same team last year#and this year one's on the other's ex team and the other's on the one's childhood fav team#i love confusing myself by typing these without using names lol#not even sure why i'm avoiding them atp it started with simple reasons then got so complicated that it almost cancelled everything out#anyway. maybe i'll continue to stay quiet bc i don't really know what to say or how to feel anymore#haven't posted about ✨him✨ in 7 months. what's 7 more right?#i've said i will never stop loving him and i meant that with my whole heart i will never stop wanting what's best for him#i'm not even sure i'll ever love anyone as much as i've loved him. truthfully. it's that serious#the reason i understand what true love even means is bc of how i've felt for him for.. my gosh. 8 years now?#that doesn't even sound right. what the fuck. EIGHT YEARS????#i wanna be supportive but as a habs fan and someone who's been pissed off by c*rolina one too many times.... idk man !#idk. idk.#i think he's playing tonight so yeah i'm probably just gonna watch and support him this szn but won't be vocal about it online#it's the fact he went to one of the selective teams that are an absolute hell no for me lmao#we can make peace for just this season i suppose 🙄#the number change honestly makes it a little easier#rants
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The Art Of Make-believe Matrimony
Logan Howlett x fem!reader
Summary: You can’t stand each other, so it’s a mystery to you and Logan why you’re sent out together on an assignment. To make it worse, you’d have to act much closer than you really were.
Warnings: mutant!reader (no specific power mentioned, though), fem!reader, enemies to lovers, swearing, fake dating (technically fake marriage), mentions of violence, a little bit of suggestive stuff, a little bit of fluff i guess, and mild alcohol consumption. I think that's all but if i missed any, please let me know! also this is def loosely inspired by the movies 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' and '10 Things I Hate About You'
Word Count: 5K
part 2
・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ .
You hate the way he dresses.
You hate his stupid hair.
You hate the pet names he calls you.
You hate his voice.
You hate his hazel eyes.
You hate his smile.
You hate Logan Howlett.
It was no secret and neither was the fact that he couldn’t stand you either. You bickered like a married couple, constantly fought till you bled when you were training and couldn’t go a day without one of you insulting the other. Truthfully, it was probably because you were too alike - fire versus fire - and knew exactly how to press each other's buttons.
That’s why you were both confused when you stood in Charles’ office - dumbfounded expression on your faces - as he told you that he assigned you to a mission together.
“Oh, no way,” you nearly laughed, thinking it was a joke.
“Yeah, not happening,” Logan agreed. It may have been the only thing you’ve ever agreed on.
“That’s unfortunate for both of you, as I am sending you anyway. You are the only capable people that aren’t already out on an assignment or teaching a class full time.”
“How do you expect us to do it without killing each other?” you raised your eyebrows.
“You are adults. I trust you will navigate that on your own.”
Logan scoffed beside you, his arms crossed over his chest.
You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration and biting the bullet, “what do we have to do?”
“There is a safe hidden in the home of a very wealthy socialite who’s been involved in orchestrating attacks on mutants - injecting them with a serum that replaces their mutation gene with that of a normal human,” Charles began to explain.
Your chest felt heavy. It always made you anxious and a little ill when you’d hear the stories of people who hated you so much that they’d go as far as to harm or violate you in some way, all in the name of trying to rid the earth of you completely or turn you into one of them.
“The only known sample of the serum is locked in that safe,” he continued, “and I will need you to retrieve it. You are to infiltrate a gathering being held in her home, obtain the contents of the safe and return promptly.”
“So, we’re…going to a party?” Logan asked with one eyebrow raised.
“A dinner party,” Charles replied, “and another thing - you must not attend as yourselves. You’ve been invited on the good word of another guest - someone we trust - but you’ve been invited as a married couple to avoid arousing suspicion.”
He must’ve been getting some sick enjoyment from this.
“Married couple,” you repeated, your eyes narrowed, “Us. You want us to pretend to be a couple.”
“What, do I have to like - touch her? I’m not doing that,” Logan piped up.
“Oh, i’m so disappointed,” you rolled your eyes, sarcasm clear in your voice, “Fuck off.”
“You fuck off.”
“No, you fuck off.”
“No, you.”
“I said it first!”
“Enough,” Charles interrupted, “you will be attending as Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”
“Huh,” Logan hummed, “that’s creative.”
“Its inconspicuous,” he replied.
“What are our first names, then?”
“You have creative liberty. I trust you will come up with something just as unremarkable.”
“How about Sid and Nancy?” you scoffed, chuckling a little in disbelief.
“Does that mean I get to stab you?”
“You’d miss.”
Charles had his head in his hands.
“How about Jack and Jill?”
You both turned your heads to him when he spoke, pausing the back and forth between you that you were sure to continue later. You glanced at Logan and shrugged, indifferent to the names.
“That’ll work,” Logan mirrored your actions.
“Lovely. Tomorrow evening at five. I will have the address ready. In the meantime, here,” he opened his palm and placed two rings on the table, “these are your wedding bands.”
You huffed and took the smaller of the two, Logan picking up the plain silver band. Yours was simple - a false diamond in the middle and two smaller ones on each side.
“What, you couldn’t get me anything bigger?” you joked to Logan, holding up the ring.
“Oh, you want somethin’ big?”
Your eyes went wide and you elbowed him in the arm, groaning in disgust, “Gross.”
—----------------
Five o’clock came fast, your nerves seemingly increasing the speed of time. You’d made a mess of your wardrobe looking for something to wear that was comfortable, but not too ‘you’. What would a rich person wear to a dinner party? How the hell were you supposed to know?
Some nice pants, a blouse and complimenting shoes would have to do - it was the only thing you had that looked relatively formal. Adding some jewelry made it just a little more convincing.
You went down the stairs to meet Logan at the front door, dreading the coming hours. You turned the corner and finally saw him, leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He wore a white t-shirt tucked into his jeans, his boots, and he’d traded his usual leather jacket for a suit jacket. He actually cleaned up pretty nice, but you weren’t gonna tell him that.
He heard your footsteps and turned towards the sound. He could feel the sweat starting to form at the back of his neck.
He’d never seen you in anything nice like that - you never really had any occasions to dress up for - and he hated how much he liked it. Your pants hugged you perfectly, your blouse was buttoned low and you even had on a little bit of makeup.
“You don’t look too bad,” he managed to comment, opening the door for you.
“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” you realized aloud, the both of you heading towards Logan’s truck, “You look alright.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Smith.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Smith.”
He opened the car door for you, uncharacteristically gentlemen-like.
You shot him an odd look and got in anyway.
“I’m practicing,” He explained, shutting your door and walking around to slide into his seat, “can’t have anyone thinkin’ I’m a shit husband.”
“Good luck.”
“Uh-oh,” Logan had an amused expression, his eyes glued to the road as you began moving, “that’s not wife behavior, sunshine.”
“Bite Me.”
He clicked his tongue, “Feisty. Oh - I can use that when people ask about us! I’ll say it's one of your absolute worst qualities that any man would be repulsed by, but that our love is blind.”
You scoffed, “Great, and I’ll get to tell them you spend sixteen hours brushing your hair into cat ears and shed all over the bathroom like an animal.”
“See - now, that one seems a little personal.”
“It is.”
“Just pretend for a night that I’m the man of your dreams, okay?” he asked, “pretend I’m, uh - I don’t know, some celebrity guy you have a crush on.”
You were silent for a second, engrossed in thought, “you look nothing like Hugh Jackman.”
“Who? You know what - sure, pretend I'm him, alright? Just squint.”
Truthfully - and you’d rather be stabbed than admit it - Logan wasn’t far off from who you could picture yourself with. Strong, kind of handsome, good with kids. He was humble, most of the time. He was just terribly annoying and way too cocky.
It wasn’t long before he was shifting the truck into park and yanking the keys from the ignition. You let him open your door and walked beside him up the front steps.
“You ready, Jack?” you teased.
“Ready as I’ll ever be, Jill.”
He rang the doorbell and you stood awkwardly, eyes scanning your surroundings. The house was huge - probably only a bit smaller than the mansion - and modern, something probably built in the last ten years. The front lawn was impeccable, as were the marble statues strategically placed between foliage and flora.
The door opened and you inhaled sharply, trying to prepare yourself to lie your ass off.
“Hello! You must be Mr. and Mrs. Smith! So lovely to meet you, please - come in,” a woman ushered you in, her neck and ears decorated in pearls. You recognized her immediately, Charles having shown you both a picture of the hostess beforehand. You politely greeted her and introduced yourselves, already scanning the room for an emergency exit in case things went sour.
“So,” she continued talking, leading you to sit in the living room with the other mingling guests,”tell me a little about yourselves! John wasn’t very descriptive when he mentioned you. What do you do for work?”
Whoever John was, you silently thanked him.
“Uh, well,” you began, nervously glancing at Logan, “I’m a bank teller.”
Plain, boring, inconspicuous,
She then looked to Logan expectantly, awaiting his answer.
“Cage fighter.”
Jesus Christ. You were glaring daggers into the side of his smiling face and he pretended not to notice.
“Really?” the woman in front of you inquired, a hand on her chest. You watched her eyes scan him up and down, landing on the pecs prominent through his shirt. You scoffed out of instinct, faking a cough to cover it up.
‘Oh, yeah. Undefeated MMA champ.”
You looked away to hide the scowl on your face when your eyes locked on the vodka bottle sitting on the table a few feet away with a collection of other booze. Bingo.
“Will you excuse me for just a moment?” you smiled politely and walked away before Logan could protest, leaving him to his own devices.
You twisted the top off the bottle and picked up a glass, filling it with Vodka and some soda that was left on the table.You almost walked away with it, planning to keep it in your hands until you felt your nerves subside, until you remembered you were supposed to be a wife. Wives brought their husbands drinks, right? Not doing so would look rude and rude might blow your cover. So, you reluctantly picked up another glass and filled it partially with whiskey, knowing it was something he’d drink. You happened to glance across to the kitchen and notice a neat little rack of spices and condiments on the counter. A bottle of soy sauce was front and center, like a message from the universe, and you giggled to yourself as you snatched the bottle and hid it up your sleeve - this could be a good night if you made it entertaining.
You returned to Logan with both glasses, handing him the one filled with significantly darker liquid. He looked a little surprised but accepted it anyway.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said with narrowed eyes, a look that asked ‘what are you up to now?’
You simply nodded in acknowledgement, smiling at the hostess still standing in front of you.
“She’s a keeper,” he continued, holding the glass up to his mouth, “ always knows exactly what I like.”
You bit back a snicker as you watched him tilt the glass and finally take a sip.
His eyes went to yours immediately. He pulled the glass from his lips, mouth still obviously full of whiskey and soy sauce. If looks could kill, you’d be long dead.
“Good, honey?” you smiled wide then, taking a sip of your own drink.
“Mhm,” he hummed, clearly fighting a grimace. He swallowed and nearly gagged, coughing into his fist, “mhm, just a little strong.”
“Oh,” the hostess began, “Jack was just about to tell us how you met!”
A couple of guests had gathered in the same spot, all lingering in a semicircle. Logan was quite the charmer and it wasn’t a surprise that he already had a couple of women gawking at him, hanging on his every word as if any of it was true.
“Was he?” your tone was shrill but you attempted to appear playful, lightly smacking him on the arm, “Oh, honey, you should really let me tell it.”
Whatever he was about to come up with, you hoped it was not in the same outlandish category as cage fighting. Before you could begin, though, he dismissively waved his hand in your direction.
“No, no - you’re a little forgetful, sweetheart,” his grin was mischievous as he turned to speak to the surrounding guests, “so, it all started with a tshirt competition at a bar where the girls had to - “
“Nope! Nope,” you interjected, doing your best to keep your tone light and shaking your head, “haha - that must have been another girl, honey!”
That earned a few chuckles from the guests around you and you took the opportunity while everyone's attention was on you to try and spin a tale of your own.
“So, we actually met a couple years ago,” you started, mulling over what true details to sprinkle in or if you should make it up entirely, “uh - in a library.”
It wasn’t entirely untrue. You’d been at the mansion for a couple days before you bumped into him in the library while gathering books to try and put together your first lesson plan. You had a cup of coffee in one hand and a stack of books in the other - admittedly stupid - but you’d always been careful. Except for that once.
You had a book open in your arms, resting atop the stack you already gathered. You were walking and reading - again, admittedly not very smart - when you bumped into someone, spilling coffee on both of you and sending the stack of books to the floor with an audible thump.
“Fuck, sorry -” you began to apologize, finally looking up to the strangers face. It was Logan, of course, though you didn’t know that at the time. You remember thinking he was handsome with his scruffy mutton chops and well groomed hair - until he opened his mouth.
“What the hell is wrong with you, kid?”
You knew it was partially your fault but were irked by his attitude.
“Dude, you weren’t paying attention either, obviously!” you snapped back, looking down at the beige stain now adorning your white button up.
“I’m not the one who carries coffee and a shit ton of books at the same time.”
“Whatever.”
That was your grand introduction, neither of you even exchanging names.
Logan remembered it about the same way you did, though the version he tells is a little different. He loved to tell people that when you bumped into him, it was because you were so lovestruck that you just walked right into him. The part he always left out, though, was the first thing he thought when he saw you. He’d scolded you before even looking up to see who you were and when he had, he wished he’d reacted a little differently.
You were beautiful, even with coffee spilt all over yourself. You looked like a girl he’d only ever dreamed of, all the way down to the color of your hair and eyes. Unfortunately, he’d already been an asshole. So, from then on, that was basically your shtick - bickering over little things, calling each other names - all to the amusement of everyone around you. It wasn’t meant to be funny, but it was obvious to everyone else that the kind of teasing you did was only because you had feelings for one another - like two elementary school kids - and neither one of you seemed to know how to approach it. The mask would slip sometimes for either one of you - when he’d place a hand on your lower back, the times he’d managed to pin you to the mat during training - and you’d always find yourself staring at the ceiling that night, overthinking every interaction you’d had until the sun came up. He was never any better off, pacing in his room to try and decipher what the hell it was he actually felt for you.
Anyway, you decided to stick to the real story, minus the part where you insulted each other.
“We bumped into each other, literally, and I had coffee and a bunch of books in my arms. So, I drop the books, coffee spills everywhere - of course. Then I looked up at him, and..” you paused, the truth caught in a lump in your throat.
“And it was love at first sight,” Logan added, grinning down at you, “for both of us.”
His eyes were trained on yours and he continued to contribute to the story.
“The second I saw her, I fell in love.”
He was still looking at you. Why was he still looking at you like that? You were supposed to be husband and wife, right, but he was leaning into it far heavier than you expected. It felt like you were the only ones in the room.
A couple ‘aw’s were shared between guests and you smiled politely at the reminder that you were in fact not the only people in the room. As the conversation switched to another topic and someone else began to speak, you felt Logan’s hand at the back of your head, gently playing with your hair. Your face was pink - he was being too nice.
A short while later, you were sitting on the couch beside him, listening to someone’s drawn out story that you stopped paying attention to after six minutes.
“I’m gonna go take a piss,” Logan uttered unceremoniously and stood from the couch. He disappeared into the house and not even a minute later, another guy came to sit in his spot.
“Hey,” he put his arm around the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, “I don’t think we’ve met.”
You looked at the fingers grazing your shoulder and sat forward to shrug them off, “nope.”
He told you his name and you couldn’t have cared any less, deciding to actually tune back into the story being told rather than converse with him. He was alright looking, but his approach was far too off putting.
“So, did you come alone?”
You rolled your eyes at his question, opening your mouth to answer before he cut you off.
“Cause It looks like it, and I can’t stand to see a pretty girl alone.”
You groaned in disgust, hoping if you were dry enough in your answers, he’d leave you be.
“mhm.”
It wasn’t really an answer to anything, just a noise of affirmation. You hoped he’d get the hint then, but of course, he didn’t. In what would probably be the stupidest thing he’d done that night, the guy moved his arm from the back of the couch so he could squeeze your thigh. Right as you were about to tell him to fuck off, you saw a hand grip his shoulder from behind. Logan was leaning over the sofa, bringing his face a little lower so he wouldn’t cause a scene, his dog tags hanging when he leaned forward. He had a death grip on the guy's shoulder while he used his other hand to steady himself against the sofa.
“Hey, bub.”
The guy looked a little terrified, to say the least, but Logan didn’t let up there.
“Do you always go around hittin’ on people’s wives? Or is it just mine?”
His eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to run but that wasn’t going to happen as long as he was in his grip.
“I-I didn’t, uh, I didn’t know she - “ the guy sputtered, trying to nervously laugh it off.
“Mhm. Hey, tell you what - why don’t you leave my girl alone and maybe I’ll give you a five minute head start to get the fuck out of here.”
He let go of his shoulder and that was enough to drive him away, the guy scurrying to his feet and finding somewhere else to mingle.
You didn’t know why you found yourself smiling the moment he’d said ‘my girl’. You rid yourself of it with a shake of your head, reminding yourself you were there to do a job.
“Hey,” Logan leaned himself down even further so he could whisper, “I gotta show you something, c’mere.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him but got up to follow. He stopped in the hallway in front of the bathroom, looked around to see if anyone would notice you, and promptly dragged you in with him before closing and locking the door. He hit the light switch and you looked around.
“Do you always take girls to the bathroom on first dates?” you teased, crossing your arms.
“You’d have to go out with me to find out,” he remarked, “besides, it’s not like that. Look.”
You watched him get low to the ground to open the cupboard under the sink and you crouched with him, following his pointing finger to the wood paneling in the back. It looked like a fake back - a board that appeared to be the back of the cabinet but definitely had something behind it. There was a sliver of metal visible behind it when you shined your phone’s flashlight.
“I figured we should look everywhere, so while I was in here I was checking it out - saw that. You think that’s it?”
“Could be,” you answered honestly, “that, or it’s some sort of electrical box we’re about to rip out of the wall. It’s an odd hiding spot for a safe.”
“Not really. Think about it - where's the first place you’d look for a safe?”
“Bedroom or office, maybe.”
“Right, and where's one of the last places you’d check?” he gestured to the open cabinet.
“Under…the sink,” you realized aloud, looking between him and the wooden board.
“Exactly,” he nodded, swiping the contents of the cabinet onto the floor to gain access, “here’s the thing, though - I’m too big to get in there.”
He could maybe stick his head in, but in order to duck under the pipes from the sink, he’d need to have shoulders that were much less broad.
You sighed, knowing what that meant.
“Alright, alright - move. This better be it.”
You reluctantly crawled under the sink and into the cabinet on your hands and knees. You yanked the wooden board with all your strength and it came free, revealing a metal safe.
“Got it! You were right, it’s the safe.”
Logan simply hummed in response, clearing his throat. You figured he’d be a little more enthusiastic.
Truthfully, he was too busy staring at your ass in the nice pants you were wearing to pay attention. When he heard your voice, he shook his head, as if to rid himself of the thoughts he was having about you so he could think of a response. He’d always thought you were beautiful, but seeing you all dressed up drove him a little crazy.
“Yeah? Is it locked?”
You inspected the metal box, holding the absurdly large padlock hooked around the latch that opened the door.
“Uh-huh. Padlock - we’re gonna need the numbers.”
“No, we don’t. Bring it out.”
You did as you were told, crawling back out with the safe under your arm and placing it on the bathroom rug. It was a pretty small one - probably a little bigger than a basketball.
Logan picked it up and set it on the counter beside the sink. He unsheathed a claw and sliced through the metal latch that held the door closed in one swift motion.
“Well, yeah - that's one way to do it,” you shrugged.
“Easiest way to do it.”
He reached in and took out the small glass vial. He put it inside the pocket of his suit jacket.
“What if it falls out?” you asked.
“It won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Alright, kid,” he sighed, “what do you want me to do with it? ‘Cause i’m sure as hell not lettin’ you carry it.”
You rolled your eyes and looked him over.
“How about you wrap it in your jacket, like cushioning?”
“Fine.”
He reluctantly shrugged off his jacket, keeping the vial in the pocket but folding the jacket into a ball. You hastily replaced everything in the cabinet, safe included, and you followed Logan as he opened the door to step out - only to be met with another guest, her fist raised to knock.
“Oh! Dear,” she chuckled, clearly a little startled. She looked to the both of you, a grin appearing on her face, “Young love, what a gift. Don’t worry, I didn't see a thing!”
You shot her a confused look, chuckling nervously before you happened to catch a glance of your reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Your hair was mussed and your blouse was untucked on one side from having to bend up and down. Logan had taken off his suit jacket and you realized what it was she was implying.
“Oh, oh - we weren’t -”
“It’s alright, honey,” she responded as you stepped out, “like I said - my lips are sealed.”
She shot you both a wink, went into the bathroom and shut the door.
“She thought we were fucking in there,” you mumbled, eyes wide in embarrassment.
“Is that so bad?”
You snapped your head towards him, a confused look on your face, “what?”
Logan shrugged, “we're supposed to be husband and wife, aren't we?”
You shook your head in disbelief and decided to ignore him, both of you joining the other guests back in the living room. Dinner was finally ready and everyone took their seats in the dining room. There were a couple of things on the table you couldn’t even pronounce.
“Is that…meat? A vegetable?” you leaned over to logan, whispering behind your hand and nodding towards one of the dishes.
“Hell if I know,” he muttered, “I don’t think I wanna find out.”
You both piled on the few things onto your plates, poking at it with your forks.
“Do you wanna get a pizza after this?” you whispered.
“Definitely,” he replied, pushing around an unrecognizable sludge with his utensil.
“So, how long did you two say you’ve been together?” You both looked up, only to be met with the hostess’ stare. You had never mentioned how long you’d been ‘together’. Her smile was polite but her stare was piercing, as if she knew something she was not supposed to.
“About three years,” you replied, looking to him for back up.
“We got married a couple months in,” he added, grinning at you. Again, he had that look - like he wasn’t just pretending to be in love with you.
“We were in this restaurant - this little place we go to all the time,” he kept talking, “and I just told her I thought she was beautiful, that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.”
“Really? I have to say,” she began, sipping from her glass,” for a young couple who got together so quickly, you two don’t seem very affectionate towards each other.”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
You shot Logan a panicked look, but he appeared unbothered.
“Ah,” he clicked his tongue,” it’s this rule she’s got about PDA. I’d be all over her if I could.”
You hated the way your face became hot. You couldn’t tell if he was leaning into it to be convincing or flirting just to make you flustered. You heard a muffled snicker from somewhere across the table and your eyes shifted to the source - it was the woman from earlier, the one who’d thought you and Logan were getting busy in the bathroom.
“Can I at least get a kiss, babe?” Logan cooed, a smug look on his face.
“What are you doing?” you whispered, eyes wide.
“Being a husband,” he replied in a hush voice.
It all happened within seconds. His hands cupped your face, warm and soft, and he leaned in to plant a kiss right on your lips. It was gentle and you melted into his touch, kissing him back. When he pulled away, you were still stunned, your lips parted in surprise.
Logan kissed you.
His lips tasted like the remnants of cigar smoke. His touch was nearly intoxicating, like you were drunk off just the way he held you. You inhaled sharply and finally turned your face out of his grip, eyes glued to the table cloth. You had almost forgotten where you were - feeling like the room was spinning - and you let out a nervous laugh.
The topic of discussion moved on quickly and it seemed like any suspicion the hostess had about either of you had dissipated. You and Logan decided to say your goodbyes immediately after dinner, making some excuse about having to wake up early the next morning. When you stepped out and he shut the door behind him, you couldn’t hold your tongue any longer.
“What the hell was that?” you spat, eyebrows knitted.
“What was what?”
He was completely nonchalant as he continued to walk next to you towards his truck.
“You kissed me.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He stopped with you at the passenger side of the truck, standing in front of the door so you couldn’t get in.
“What if I wanted to?”
You swallowed hard. It was dead silent outside, save for the chirping of crickets.
“What?”
“I wanted to,” he admitted, chewing his bottom lip, “I wanted to kiss you.”
You didn't know what to say. He hated you, didn’t he?
“Logan, I - “
“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything in there, pretending to be together.”
His voice almost sounded strained, like he was pleading.
“You don’t even like me, you hate me,” you deflected, but he shook his head.
“That’s not true. I never hated you. I figured you’d hate me after I acted like an asshole when we met, so I went with it. I don’t hate you. I think you’re funny, I think you’re pretty - I just never really knew how to tell you that.”
When you only stared in response, he moved aside and opened your door with a defeated sigh. You were still speechless but you hesitantly slid into the seat anyway, letting him close the door. When he got into the driver's side and started the ignition, you couldn’t stop looking over at him.
“So, you like me,” you finally said aloud.
He kept his eyes glued to the road when he responded in a low voice, “why do you think I bother you so much?”
“You pick on me because you like me? Like a little kid?” you couldn’t help the amusement in your voice as your confused expression turned to a smile.
You saw him bite back a smile that mirrored yours, shaking his head.
“I guess you could say that.”
“Well, you’re not too bad, you know, and I guess you’re kind of handsome.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mhm, but don’t make me take it back.”
The rest of the short ride home was spent in comfortable silence, both of you seemingly trying to figure out where you’d go from there. When Logan parked his truck and got out, he came around your side to open your door. You hopped out and he shut the door for you, but grabbed your hand before you started to walk away.
“Hey, c’mere for a second.”
You let him pull you a little closer, intertwining both your hands. The evening air was chilly and you could see his breath in the air when he spoke.
“Can I kiss you, for real this time?”
You could feel your heart beating fast and you nodded eagerly. The second you did, his lips were already on yours. His hands let go of yours to settle in your hair, threading the strands between his fingers. His touch felt warm in comparison to the cold air and you leaned further into him with your hands gripping his jacket to pull him close. When he pulled away, he rested his hands on your waist and planted another kiss on your forehead.
“Maybe we could, uh, try again,” he cleared his throat, running his hands up and down your sides, “be nice to each other this time.”
Truthfully, you couldn’t hate Logan, even though you tried.
You couldn’t hate his perfect hair.
You couldn’t hate his sweet voice.
You couldn’t hate his kind smile.
You couldn’t hate the way he dressed.
You just couldn’t hate Logan Howlett.
So, you kissed him again, smiling against his lips and letting him hold you as close as possible, almost lifting you off the ground with his arms around you.
“We should probably go inside, huh?” you mumbled when you leaned back, lightly scratching the mutton chops on the side of his face in an affectionate manner. Those were another thing you’d pretended to hate - probably because you were embarrassed to admit you thought he pulled them off well.
“As you wish, Mrs. Smith.”
He held his hand out for you to take and you did, eyeing the ring on your finger.
“You know,” you held up your hand to show him the jewelry, “I think i’ll keep this.”
He grinned, bringing your knuckles to his lips and leaving a chaste kiss, “I think i'll keep mine, too.”
You were both still holding hands when you went inside, blushing like two little kids. You were so engrossed in one another that you didn’t notice Jean and Ororo in the hallway ahead of you as he leaned down to kiss you again. Now that he knew he could actually do it, he couldn’t help himself.
“I’ll take it your night went well,” Ororo giggled, Jean doing the same. You jumped a little in surprise, covering your pink face in mild embarrassment.
“What changed? I thought you hated each other,” the latter of the two asked.
“Eh, he’s not so bad,” you teased, shrugging your shoulders.
‘’Turns out, we make a pretty good fake husband and wife,” he explained, “I guess we got a little too carried away with it.”
As the two of you walked hand in hand further down the hall, Ororo elbowed Jean lightly, leaning over to whisper behind her hand.
“You owe me twenty bucks.”
・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆・˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆
A/N: If you've made it this far, thank you sm for reading!! I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this as is or add smut so I'll leave it how it is and if enough people ask for it, I can make a part two <3 pls reblog and like if you enjoyed/want more and my inbox is always open :)
Edit: here is the link to part 2!
#wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlet smut#wolverine smut#logan wolverine
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who are your boyfriend?
Even though you talk a lot about your sweet boyfriend, people don't understand the sign.
Warnins: English is not my first language, there will probably be mistakes, I'm more grammatically correct in my language I swear lol, f!reader, just a silly idea I had.
You're a person who talks a lot about your boyfriend, not that it's your intention to show him off or look like you're obsessed with him (maybe a little), but still, it seems inevitable to quote Jason Todd in your social circles, especially in the work.
It's a good work environment, your colleagues are nice, and you like to be communicative. However, the new co-worker, Adam, seems to be a little too friendly, your colleagues have already noticed this, but you dont notice this, lost in your own thoughts about your boyfriend.
The thing is, Adam has concluded that your boyfriend is an idiot, he listens to you talking about him, and the only conclusion he can draw is that you're dating a stupid nerd who lives in his mother's basement. It started weeks ago when you arrived with a jar of colorful cookies, offering it to your colleagues with a silly smile and saying.
"Jaybean did, does anyone want it? It's his grandfather's recipe"
Adam laughed internally at that. It wasn't right, you were too pretty to date such a weird guy who was definitely supposed to be short, skinny and silly, what kind of man cooked colored cookies? Or even worse, let yourself be called a "jaybean"?
The next day, he overheard you talking to your friend, in a worried tone, about how your boyfriend was about having physically fought with his younger brother, which only added to the comical image Adam had of his boyfriend. Definitely the guy was a banana. What kind of guy would let his little brother hit him?
Around the football season, Adam decided to show you what a real man was and ask you out, showing you the tickets he got. He called you a doll, which you registered with a slight frown.
"um, thanks Adam, but my boyfriend doesn't like football very much. And this week we're going to an arts fair in New York."
Adam let out a stilted giggle that you didn't seem to notice, the thoughts of him again calling your boyfriend stupid. Seriously, art fair? Didn't like sports?
There were other, clearer signs of how pathetic your boyfriend was, according to Adam, like when you commented that he had sewn a blouse of yours. (you didn't say that Jaosn's talent with sewing came from the fact that he sewed his battle wounds himself). Or when you called him cute nicknames.
Adam wanted to show you what he really wanted to date a guy, a real man, who had muscuslos and knew how to beat someone to protect you.
The fuse for Adam was when he approached your desk and saw a book by Jane Austen and asked, avoiding making a face at such a syrupy book.
"Do you like classics, doll?"
You looked up from the computer where you typed, a slight smile on your lips as you stared at the book brevmenete.
"A little. My boyfriend likes it, so I promised I'd try to read it. I prefer fiction books"
Adam's face drooped, you were really dating a stupid guy, you deserved to meet a real man. He rested his hands on your desk and puffed out his chest.
"You know, doll, you can get more."
You blinked your eyes limply, confused.
"Excuse me?"
"There are men… for real."
There was an arrogant smile on Adam, which you didn't like, not at all. Your posture became tense, prepared to reject him, by hook or by crook. But a voice, hoarse and thick, woke you both from the uncomfortable exchange of looks.
"Am I getting in the way?"
Adam turned, his eyes narrowing at the sight. There was a tall guy, much taller than himself, who even in a leather jacket could see his muscles. The guy had messy black hair and scars that gave him a tough look, even his blue eyes seemed like a warning, a warning to stay away. Adam was about to ask what he was doing there when your voice came out loud and contented.
"Jaybird!"
Adam stood still, his mouth wide open as that intimidating man gave you a soft smile and squeezed your waist, a chaste kiss on the forehead. By no means was that guy stupid of your boyfriend.
"That's adam," you said, a half-annoyed expression on my face, which softened when she turned her eyes to Jason.
Jason just gave Adam a suspicious look, not bothering to spend time with him before grabbing your bag and giving you another kiss on the cheek, whispering.
"Ready to go, honey?"
You nodded, smiling. Saying goodbye with a slight nod to Adam, as you told for your sweet, gentle boyfriend about your day, whose acts were what really drew you in.
Just a silly thing I thought about while analyzing the things that betrayed me about Jason. Adam is just one of those guys who think women are attracted to things that – they – think should attract them. Jason is just a grandpa's little boy who has learned how to be a gentleman right under that rough surface.
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Yandere!Maid who looks at the castle in front of him, then the flier in his hands, then the castle again. Unless there was a typo in the address, the job interview should be here. He hesitantly uses the bat shaped door knocker and waits...This place looks so creepy and ominous, was this a prank ? Was it to scare him? Seriously? Sigh…He has had enough of being treated like a fool. As he continues his descent into frustration, bitterness and self-pity, he doesn’t hear the door opening. Nor does he see the butler standing at the entrance until he hears a: “Sorry for the wait, my kind sir. Are you here for the housekeeper position?”.
Yandere!Maid who thinks the butler is telling him a load of bullshit. According to him, the owner of this place is a vampire in search of additional staff members. He resists the urge to scoff. Whatever, if the “mistress” wants to take part in some weird role-play, then so be it as long as he would get paid. The same guy tells him to “please take a seat” in the living room and that “mistress will come and attend to you in a moment”. Soon after his departure, the air shifts. Black particles float around until it materializes something, or rather someone. The poor boy shock and confusion quickly turn into enchantment. Fuck, you are totally his type. This is bad, he can feel his face burning. “Shall we go to my office?”, you ask with a smile.
Yandere!Maid who hates you. Who hates the fact that your personality matches your looks. Who hates how much control you have over him. The other day, your...pet sneezed on him, so he needed another uniform. “It seems that I only have a female one left ”, you told him. “There is no way in hell I am wearing that”, he sneered. “But wouldn’t you look cute in it? Besides, it is either that or cleaning with your normal clothes on until your new uniform arrives here-” “Alright, shut up, just give me that”, he abruptly took the offending dress from your hands and went to change. Since that conversation, his work attire has fully transitioned to said maid outfit. Maybe he becomes a bit too proud of himself whenever he catches you staring at him. And maybe, just maybe he wants to give you a nice view by bending down and taking his time “to clean the table” whenever he knows you are behind him. He will never admit that though.
Yandere!Maid who, one day, demands asks you about your eating habits. As soon as you answer, something regarding animal blood, he turns oddly quiet. You are about to ask what is wrong, but then he surprises you by climbing into your lap. You watch him get comfortable and, with trembling hands, undo the first buttons of his dress. The cherry on top is him pulling on its collar a bit to show a silver of his chest. He now avoids eye contact as he waits for you to take the lead…You are still just looking at him, so, with a blush becoming darker, he snaps at you: “A-are you stupid or something ? Do you want me to spell it out-” “I am just enjoying the view”, you respond with a teasing smile. Before he can sputter more insults, you grip his chin and tilt his head to the side, exposing his neck to your hungry gaze. “But if you insist…Thank you for the meal <3”
Yandere!Maid who has his face buried deep in his pillow while he tries to calm his flustered self down. After you finished drinking from him, he hurriedly got up and scurried to his room without so much as a word. The more he recalls the embarrassing noises he made in front of you, the more mortified he becomes. It was not his fault, it just felt really good and you even pulled him closer and tugged on his hair and-He whines and squirms in his bed as he feels his body turning hot again like that time. The action causes him to feel a sharp sting on his neck. He freezes. That is right. You marked him. You marked him. You marked him.
...
Don't drink from anyone else, ok?
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YANDERE ASSASIN
Requests are open !
• You and your husband has been married for 2 years now. And you were happy with each other.
• You are an accountant for a company while your husband is an engineer.
• You were like any other normal couple working, eating dinner together, going out on weekends, doing the usual day to day stuff.
• But one thing you didn't knew was that well your husband is an fake engineer who pretends to be one.
• In reality he is a most sought after assasin who is hired to kill top level people.
• The "I have to go out for two days for a project darling" is nothing but a excuse he gives you to go and kill his target in another state.
• Have guns hidden in various places in your shared home for " safety purpose ".
• One time you found one of his gun and asked him why is it here? "Hehe well darling the crime rate is increasing day by day I bought it for us for our safety I even have a legal licence for the gun." (Yes a licence for being an assasin)
• This is the same man who melts into your arms, follows you around the house like a puppy, looks at you like you hung the moon and stars and also the same man who doesn't miss his target even from miles and shoots them mercilessly.
• Hits all the target in a shooting game giving you a huge stuffed teddy bear while saying "Beginner's luck, baby."
• Yan vowed in the beginning phase of his job that he would never get married due to his job risk but you entered his life, made him break his vow as he asked you to marry him after falling so desperately in love with you. How couldn't he? You are just so damn perfect.
• You mentioned in a conversation to him casually how a co worker creeped you out by his staring. Boom from next day the co-worker now always avoids you like plague. (Because some unknown assasin threatened his life if he ever came near you)
• He has never been guilty in his life for killing people or having it as job but becomes guilty in a millisecond when he sees you sad thinking how bad of a husband I am? And to make all the clarifications clear you were not sad due to him you were just having your usual period mood swings. Because no way in hell this man would ever make you sad. Before making you cry he would shoot himself with his own gun.
• You both were watching an assasin movie on a weekend and you said how good looking and skilled that assasin the movie character is.
Meanwhile Yan's Mind : Control your self yan no need to be jealous you are better than that freaking stupid looking loser assasin. y/n just doesn't know. Control.
• Yan at a Halloween night comes home after shooting his target with a little blood on his clothes wearing his assasin black clothes and a gun in hand knowing full well that you are at your friend's house. Only to be surprised that you are at home throwing him a suprise Halloween party with others. You looking at him with a confused look as he stands on doorstep shocked.
Yan : Suprise baby!!! I came up dressed up as an assain that you liked in that movie. I hope you like it. (Saying with an akward smile while telling himself to not be so reckless next time)
Meanwhile the people at party who know the true Yan : 🧍♂️
• Is so damn protective of you due to his work line that whenever he leaves for days makes sure your friend stays with you and making sure you are safe through all the hidden cameras spread all over the house.
• He loves you a lot. He might be a deadly assasin to the whole world but he is just a normal engineer madly in love with you who just wants to devour you whole so no one else can have you.
• Reader to their friends : My husband won't ever hurt a fly.
Meanwhile Yan listening to this conversation: 🧍♂️
• When he is off duty he just spoils you with his cooking and spending all his time with you cuddling watching shows and just talking.
• Prays to god that you never found out about his true job afraid that you would get scared and leave him.
For more yandere reading :
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jim beam
navigating life in a new universe was already a bit of a struggle for Logan... and Wade just had to make it worse (or far, far, far better) by giving him a "house-warming gift".
CW: suggestive, profanity, takes place after the events of Deadpool 3, Wade is actually really hard to write for, Logan deserves the world, comfort, angst if you squint, etc.
"Honey, I'm home!" Wade loudly sang, kicking open the door to Logan's apartment with a dramatic flourish.
"Fuck me," Logan groaned from his spot on the couch, closing his eyes and allowing his head to lull back with annoyance.
This defeated the entire purpose of why he got his own apartment in the first place.
To avoid these types of interactions with the most persistently, consistently annoying asshole in the entire multiverse.
"Now, now, is that any way to talk to the friend who's about to bring your long lost lover back from the dead?" Wade tutted, skipping into the living room, taking notice of the bottle of liquor resting in Logan's hand.
'So it's that kinda morning...'
"Jim Beam at 10 am on a Tuesday?" he noted, "Well, I guess it's five o'clock nowhere... so have at it."
"What did you just say?" Logan sat up straight, brows furrowed as he focused on Wade's previous statement.
"Alcoholics everywhere salute you for taking your liver where no organ has gone before."
"Wade."
"I'm honestly starting to believe you do it for the love of the game rather than the expositional, look how sad he is plot device the author is currently using... I mean, seriously? Can we skip past all this bullshit and get to the—"
Quickly, Logan grabbed him by the front of his suit, yanking him closer with an angrily confused expression.
"If anything besides a goddamn answer comes out of your mouth... I will stab you in the face," he growled, spelling out each syllable to further his point. "What the hell do you mean bring her back from the dead?"
To Logan, you were everything
The sun. The moon. The air. The clouds.
Despite seeing all the horrible thing he'd done, and knowing firsthand just how much of an asshole he could be, you still smiled at him.
No matter how many times he pushed you away, you were relentless.
Keeping his room together while he was away finding himself.
Making him meals when you noticed he he'd gone without eating.
Forcing him to take breathers after intense sessions in the Danger Room.
For the longest, he couldn't wrap his head around someone like you caring about a jackass like him.
Until he got fed up and just outright asked.
But, as if nothing, you answered:
"Your past makes think you don't deserve love, Logan," you started, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned up against the counter. "You storm around here with a rude ass attitude and a smart mouth hoping to convince me of that... but if anything, you're only making it worse for yourself."
You smiled, looking up at him with a glint in your eye that sent shocks running down his spine.
"Because in my heart of hearts I know you're a man who wants care and attention, just like everybody else."
With a chuckle, you rested a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"And I'll keep shovin' dinners down your throat until you realize that."
Despite having everyone else fooled, you saw right through him, and true to your word, you didn't give up.
With every made bed, every meal, every conversation, Logan felt himself falling deeper into your charm, and over a glass of Jim Beam did he finally realize that he was in love with you.
But, like everything else he cared about in this world, you were taken away from him.
Unable to find your body in the rubble of the mansion, he looked high and low, quite literally going to the ends of the Earth to find you.
But after years of searching with nothing to show for it, he returned to the bottle, drowning himself in sorrow and regret.
Or, at least... until now.
"Well, according to the manual, she's not exactly dead, but she is unconscious," Wade answered, matter-of-factly.
"Unconscious?" Logan's brows furrowed, still quite confused.
Freeing himself from the man's grip, Wade stood up, going back around the couch and pulling out a small tablet from his pocket.
"See, I've noticed your humble abode could use a little sprucing, so I went back to our buddies at the TVA and kindly reminded them that you saved the multiverse and, godammnit, you deserve a reward."
"Get to the fuckin' point, jackass," Logan spat, turning to face him.
"So they sent some men back to your universe and found your girl!" Wade cheered, opening up a portal and reaching his hand in, pulling out a cryo-chamber with you inside.
The moment Logan's eyes met your sleeping face, all color and vibrancy seemed to return to the world.
He was at a loss for words.
You were here... not some dream or hallucination of guilt... but actually, truly, physically here.
"Apparently, some science fuckers were keeping her in a black site and testing to see how long she could go without aging. I won't bore you with the details," Wade explained, pulling out a small knife from his boot. "Now, let's break this bad boy open and meet the future Mrs. Wolverine!"
Before Logan could stop him, Wade stabbed the keypad at the side of the chamber, opening the door and sending you falling forward.
In an instant, Logan dropped his bottle and leaped over the couch, catching you just before you could face-plant on the hardwood floor.
"Watch it!" Logan roared, less than happy that you'd only been there for about three minutes and Wade had already almost broken your nose.
"I am so sorry!" Wade gasped, his hands slapping his cheeks in shock. "I didn't think she'd actually fall out the chamber when they told me she'd fall out the chamber... Nice save, though, Romeo."
Turning you over, Logan cupped your cheek, the chill of your skin already beginning to warm.
But you were still out cold, limp in his grasp as he held you close to his chest.
"She's not waking up..." Logan noticed, brows furrowed. "Why the hell isn't she waking up?"
"Easy there, tiger. They told me how long it takes varies from person to person," Wade assured, shutting the portal. "Some take minutes, others hours. It could be a couple of days before she even opens her eyes."
An expression of solemnity slid over Logan's face as he gazed over yours, your skin still so flesh colored, it looked as if you were sleeping.
Just as soft and tender as he remembered.
And he had full intentions on keeping it that way.
Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he ghosted his hand over your cheek.
In that moment, he swore to himself that he'd never leave you again.
He'd be a friend, a bodyguard, a lover, whatever you wanted, but no matter his title, anything that wanted to harm you would have to do so over his dead body.
And even then he'd force himself to get back up and fight.
This world was giving him a second chance at life, a second chance at a life with you, and he'd be damned if he let anything ruin it.
Suddenly, you took in an aggressive gasp, scaring the shit out of Wade as your eyes snapped open.
"Holy fucking shit nuggets!" he jolted, jumping from his spot across he room as Logan allowed his shoulders to sink, mumbling a quiet thanks to whatever god or deity brought you back to him.
Feeling a strong set of arms cradling you, you looked up, solace setting into your bones at the sight of the familiar man before you, who was unable to stop the few joyful tears escaping his eyes.
"Logan—"
Without a moment's hesitation, his lips were on yours, making up for what felt like a lifetime of loss by dumping all of his passion, all of his love, all of his devotion into one Earth shattering kiss.
You melted into it seamlessly, your hand finding home in his scruffy hair as he pulled you flush against him, clutching you with a death grip.
Donning a cheeky smile under his mask, Wade turned away to give you both a moment, thought not without making a crude sex gesture behind his back.
'I don't think Miss (Y/N)/Girl Sitting At Home Reading This is gonna be able to walk tomorrow...'
With a gasp, the two of you separated, Logan's hand raising to cup your cheek, relishing how easily you leaned into him.
"(y/n)... I thought I lost you," he panted, his eyes scouring over your face, committing every detail to memory.
"For a while, you did," you sighed with a grin, carding a hand through the few gray strands in his hair, before comparing them to your own. "Time looks good on you."
He chuckled, quietly relieved you still found him attractive after all these years.
Sitting up, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled the man into a bone crushing hug, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.
"I'm not really sure what happened... or how I'm alive..." you weakly laughed, starting to get choked up. "But I know that if you go out drinking without me ever again, I'm putting your head on a spike."
Instantly, Logan's arms wrapped around your waist, holding you reverently as if he let go for one moment, the powers that be would part him from you.
"I swear on my life... I'll never let anyone hurt you again."
#james howlett#james howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#x men x reader#wolverine
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