#to atsushi he's just a very weird senpai

[ssaraexposs]

Being Dazai's favorite subordinate

Expectations:

Reality:

[damagedintellect]

Dazai Osamu x reader

💌 Reading into the palms of isekai bullshit:

Chapter 7 💌  

Summary: You were no stranger to isekai bullshit. It’s not like you had a problem with it. The genre took over the anime scene for years now but you try to stay away from thinking about how you would handle the situation. The last time you thought about inserting yourself into your favorite show you wrote a 100k word xReader fic for your favorite characters and you didn’t want to spend all your time consumed by the brainrot again. Never again, you promised yourself that was the last time you’d let the devil on your shoulder win. You clicked on chapter 1 to start the adventure over again but when you opened your eyes and saw Dazai O-FUCKING-samu getting choked by Kunikida you honestly hoped it was a dream.  

Notes:   With Artfight slowing down on my end I have come to feed the hungry readers...also idk why this chapter turned out so angsty bc that wasn't the plan but yeah know what it sounds about right. Another isekai so I can play around with BSD like dolls.

★ Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] ★

💌 Word count: 2,286 💌 <= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

A few days later was the day Kunikida had a very important schedule to uphold. Everyone was left to their own devices and it was a nice change of pace compared to the past few weeks. Kunikida had left a few minutes ago while Ranpo was still complaining about the lack of snacks. You had mostly finished up your tasks for the day and were acting like you were still busy so Ranpo wouldn't bother you. It's been weeks since you were relieved of your snack fetching duties but you could feel him practically directing all of his grievances at you specifically. There were other people in the office. Why did it always have to be you who gets the snacks? Aside from Kunikida and Yosano, everyone else was here. You observe Dazai as he agonizes over not being able to ruin Kunikida's day yet. You still don't know what the hell happened the other night.

All you know is that Ranpo made a suggestive comment about it which didn't help you piece anything together. Dazai had been acting weirder than normal too. It's like he was having more mood swings than usual and you’re not sure how much of it is an act. You are also not the only one who's noticed the brunette’s weird behavior, even Atsushi said something about it. Although he thought you and Dazai had an argument because apparently the brunette would tense up at the mention of your name. Even more puzzling was that the moment you were left alone with Dazai he would act one of two ways. One being that he would reluctantly cling to your side, hovering over you like he was expecting or waiting for you to do something or two he would scoff and make some excuse, no matter how stupid, to disappear. Like he actually made it a point to tell you instead of just leaving like he has in the past. Almost like he was reasoning more with himself then having the goal be informing you of his absences. As much as it was intriguing it was almost hard to watch but you didn’t want to ask him about it because who knows what can of worms that will open and you weren’t ready.

Speaking of can of worms, Ranpo has been calling your name trying to get your attention. You slammed your hands on the desk standing up to look at your senpai. "Okay I get it, what snacks do you want?"

"Chips, pocky, ramune and you know what it feels like a melon pan kind of a day!" He smiles wide, kicking his feet up on his desk. Cocky bastard.

You rolled your eyes "So the works then got it," you looked at Dazai who was still moping. "Anyone else need me to pick up anything?" The room filled with a chorus of "No"'s as you grabbed your wallet and made your way out the door. The agency would reimburse you for Ranpo’s snack habits later.

Dazai watched you leave. It's been infuriating that you refused to ask about that night and seemed to brush it off like it didn't matter. So much for that confession of yours. He was aware that, yes, technically he wasn't supposed to know that. He promised you he wouldn't tell, but you told him yourself. He can't get over the fact you haven't picked up his bitterness on the subject or that you are blatantly ignoring it all together. He doesn't understand what your play is and moreover he can't get over the irrational thought of wanting to touch you. It has been driving him insane. He doesn’t get these kinds of impulses but since you shared your feelings with him he wants to be close to you in any way you’ll have him. You were also the one who saw through and called him out on his bullshit, not many could do that so why has that stopped? Is it because you need to see his palm again? Did the alcohol mess with your talent that badly? All he has is more questions and really no way of getting answers out of you unless he talks to you like a normal person. Dazai was by no means a normal person and what was the point if he wasn't supposed to know this information to begin with. If it was anyone else he wouldn't care about the confrontation or lack thereof but he does now and he hates it.

The sound of an incoming text rang out through the office. He looked over at your desk. It was your phone, you forgot it since you stormed off. He sighed, reaching for it. You would be back soon but he was bored and all of his attempts to shake up Kunikida weren’t working either. Was he losing his touch? If he sent Kunikida a message from your phone he would probably have a better chance at fooling the blonde. When he opened up the messenger he nearly dropped the phone as he read who the incoming text was from. 

Chuuya<3

Hey, I have time today if you wanted to do the thing

Dazai gripped the phone tightly, his knuckles turning white. Why was Chuuya messaging you and what was with that contact photo! You were both naked in bed. You looked like an ethereal being while the smug redhead was holding you like he owned you, giving Dazai eyes that were taunting him. It made his blood boil. Was this why you didn’t care to find out about that night? Was this all really just a game to you and how could you betray him with Chuuya of all people! Dazai grit his teeth. Realistically he shouldn't care so why does he feel like this? He knows how demented his line of thought was but for the first time he let his jealousy cloud his judgment. You guys weren't exclusive, heck you guys weren't even anything to begin with. Just two coworkers who sometimes hung out outside of work but still he felt it was a low blow. He needs to stop his train of thought before he does something he'll regret. His emotions were already festering by the time you finally made it back to the office. He felt that itch again, the sudden urge to touch you. Why? He didn't understand it at all.

You dropped the bag of snacks on Ranpo's desk hoping that the ramune crushed a bunch of chips. This is the last time you’d be going on his snack run or else you were going to- you know what you don’t know what you could do as a counter. Ranpo kind of has you by the balls since he knows your secret. You deflated once you realized that he could actually make your life a living hell if he wanted. “Enjoy.” you sigh slouching as you turn around colliding with someone as you were grabbed by the arm and hastily pulled into the infirmary. 

Dazai had dragged you across the office without a word. It was unsettling for the others to witness. Atsushi was concerned he'd never seen such a grim expression on Dazai before. Could it be because he failed at tricking Kunikida and he needed to take it out on someone else? "Shouldn't we stop them?" He asked warily but no one made a move. Everyone continued on like this was an everyday occurrence.

Ranpo only kicked back further into his chair, opening the bag of chips "Leave 'em. You might get scarred for life if you try to intervene." Ranpo rolled his eyes. This is what you get for playing with fire. Although he doesn't exactly know what Dazai saw on your phone, he does know that the two of you were a ticking time bomb and have been the whole week since the fall of the guild. He only hopes you know what you’re doing because babysitting you was not his job unless you were getting him more snacks.

As soon as the door locked, Dazai pushed you against the wall, easily pinning your wrist so you couldn't escape. His tone was dark. It would have made you shake with terror if it wasn't so hot. Right now, the position you were in, was a sexual fantasy of yours for sure. 

"What happened to not being so easy? Huh?" He accused you, almost demanding an answer. It was jarring to hear him be this intense. 

“Um, ow! I don’t even know wha-” He cut you off with a messy kiss, aggressively biting your bottom lip as if to say don’t lie to him. You actually had no idea what he was talking about. In fact you almost thought this was all of his pent up emotions from the past few days.

 "Such a pathetic lie when you throw yourself at anyone who gives you the slightest bit of attention. Tell me was I not-"

"Who am I throwing myself at if not you?" You spat back not waiting for him to finish his monologue. You were furious because from your point of view you have no idea what the fuck he's going on about. He's the one who's been acting strange. If anything you should be the one yelling at him for not talking with you if he had an issue. Although you should have seen that coming. Technically it's what he was doing right now so you guess he did get there eventually but still you were mildly flustered and enraged with the delivery.

Dazai was silently scanning your eyes. You weren't lying to him. His fingers were digging into your wrist and your heart rate remained the same. Your eyes were clear and there were no obvious tells that your statement was false. He fucked up. He was wrong. He knew he was from the start but the impulses were too much for the rational part of his brain to stop while he was ahead. This is why he distanced himself. He wasn't capable of having nice things. He's spent so long waiting for the other shoe to drop he can't even trust that things could be different this time. As he loosened his grip on you the words cascaded from his mouth. "Then why did you sleep with Chuuya?" It shouldn't hurt him but it made his heart clench just the same. Dazai has had his fair share of one night stands. Sometimes it was nice to feel a human connection with another person. It should be no different but this was you. When did you become so important to him?

Your eyes widened in shock. He saw the photo. The trap you had set up weeks ago. Dazai was jealous, it worked. That's why he'd been acting weird. How long has he kept this to himself? Was that why he wanted you to ask about that night and the things you don't remember? Before you could register your actions your body moved on its own to close the distance between you with a tender kiss. Caressing his face you looked him in the eyes. It was now or never.  "Dazai, I am in love with you! Chuuya was only trying to help make you jealous so I could gauge if you even remotely liked me back." You blurted it out in a huff as you watched his expression drop and become unreadable. 

"Well it's a shame I don't feel the same because right now I think I hate you the most." There was no emotion to his words and he practically vanished out of thin air. Dazai needed space while he figured out what was going on in his head. Isolation was the only thing he knew that would bring him said clarity. He doesn’t regret his word choice but he also doesn’t think hate was the right word for it. He was irritated for sure but he didn’t exactly hate you. He definitely hated the situation though. The brunette was still wondering how you managed to get under his skin like this. Now that he wasn’t in the same room as you he understands the train of thought behind the picture and how Chuuya’s involvement led to the prank. It was partially his fault you even met to begin with. This also answered his questions about the redhead after the encounter. Looking back this must be how the others feel when he pulls one over on them. It was not a pleasant feeling.

 The room spun around you in a blur. It took you longer than you would have preferred to get yourself together and rush out of the infirmary. All the others pretended to mind their own business but you didn’t see Dazai so he probably bailed out of the office. You had to fix this before it was too late. Although something in the back of your mind wasn’t adding up. Why now? If he knew about the picture since that night why was it only today that he brought it up in a blind furry? There had to have been something to trigger this reaction. You don’t bother making an excuse to leave the office but you do grab your phone from Dazai’s desk. It didn’t click until you were halfway down the stairs that you had left your phone on your desk so how did it end up on Dazai’s. You frantically checked your messages and sure enough there was one from Chuuya. You frowned as you messaged him back blatantly lying about the other’s reaction to the prank. On one hand it did work as intended but how did it end up like this?

★ ★ ★ Pervious Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]  ★ ★ ★

[larathia]

BSD Rewatch Notes #3

Wow.

Atsushi’s take on Dazai is...actually kind of hard to parse at times. He clearly looks up to Dazai as role model and mentor and can get very concerned about Dazai’s health/welfare...

And yet. He’s also well aware that Dazai is a fiend of a trickster who sometimes straight up lives to torment Kunikida and will do incomprehensibly weird things simply because nobody stopped him from doing them.

Spends a fair chunk of an episode doing both at about the same time, too. Like, Dazai can spend a huge chunk of time overtly plotting to torment Kunikida and Atsushi is SO DONE and SO “why, why are you like this” - and at the same time when Dazai’s like “this is why Kunikida is our second in command”, Atsushi snaps right back into ‘yes senpai’ mode.

I mean I’ve noted this before but really all I can think is that while Atsushi treats Dazai as his mentor, one can really only define their relationship as “a depressed man and his cat”. By which I mean the only way I can make the emotional level make sense, is to picture that - a depressed man and his cat - with all that that would entail. Which would have days of the cat purring on the man’s lap, yes, but just as often would have the cat giving judgey “seriously, it’s 2pm and you still haven’t gotten up” looks and occasionally biting the man’s nose, because that’s how cats are. They may love and adore us but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily going to put up with our bullshit.

Also...my gods, Kunikida is neurotic. I mean that isn’t OCD, it’s somewhere several steps past that. Since Dazai DOES seem to have respect for Kunikida, even while deliberately attempting to snap his mind in half, I can only figure Dazai is trying to teach Kunikida to stay mentally flexible or something - you know, sort of give him repeated stress tests so the wood bends rather than breaks? Because wow. Kunikida could SO break, given his outlook and the work he does. Dazai is NOT wrong to think Kunikida could be the next Azure King. There’s a good man in there, but the split between the world Kunikida wants - his Ideal world - and the world that actually exists is way too wide. It makes him bitchy and kind of cruel, a lot more often than it makes him noble or kind. I find myself more often surprised by Kunikida’s kindness than his harshness.

I do think the ADA chose its second in command well, but also that the ADA has been very fortunate not to NEED Kunikida to step into that role. Especially in these earlier episodes. (I keep thinking ‘he mellows out, right? I seem to remember he mellows out’ but right now I can’t be sure I remembered that right.)

[knockyasocksoff2022]

More Than You Know \\ soukoku

Chapter VI: Mirrorverse

POV: Chuuya

(1,186 words)

(A/N: sorry the wait has been so long)

I don’t sleep, afraid I’ll have that Damn dream again.

Kouyou says the funeral is on Sunday. I don’t want to go, but I feel like I should. I owe it to Akiko at the very least for being rude. And, hey, maybe if I go I won’t feel this stupid nagging guilt anymore.

-

When the sun rises, I’m so sleep deprived that I’m tempted to ask Kouyou if I can stay home today, but Kouyou might make something more out of that than I want to deal with, so I’ll go.

I take a shower to wash away the weirdness, and I catch myself expecting the soap suds to be red.

-

I throw on my uniform, and head out the door. As I bike to school I wonder who’ll take his spot at the top. Maybe I’ll actually get better grades without him as a distraction. I will, because if any should have his spot it should be me.

When the bell rings I find myself scanning the courtyard for Mori, just to make sure he isn’t going to come and bother me. But then it comes back to me, the feelings like a static shock, quick. Oh yeah, he’s dead.

I hurry into the main building for English.

-

It should be relaxing, him not being here to bother me, but I keep wondering when he’s going to show up and insult me, what corner he’s going to pop out from behind. It makes me anxious, having these thoughts, knowing they’ll never come true but still having them. Nobody is talking about it. Maybe they think he’s sick. Maybe they don’t pay attention. Everyone knew of him, but how many people really knew him?

After all, despite his family's status, he never had a large group of friends. In fact I never saw him hanging out with anybody, not at lunch, come to think of it, he was never even in the cafeteria, and I never saw him in the quad either. I think I saw him leaving the library once, but never again, even when I was studying there everyday for finals last year.

The bell rings and I haven’t heard a single thing Professor Fitzgeral said. I’m sure this will stop after the funeral, after that my brain will surely get it that he’s well and truly dead, gone forever. I suddenly want to kick something, why can’t I be normal about this, I didn’t even know him. It’s not like I miss him, it's just strange not having him annoying me is all.

— Tuesday —

Still nothing. I don’t have that dream though, so that’s good.

— Wednesday — 

I hear someone whispering his name in the lunch line and I turn slightly around pretending to look at the menu board. It’s that blond boy with glasses, Kumiya, and two younger students, probably 14 or so.

“You’re Mori-senpai’s friend, right? Do you think he’s okay? I called him yesterday when he didn’t show up for our tutoring session, but he didn’t answer. Neither Atsushi nor Kenji have heard from him either. Naomi and I tried to visit him, in case he was sick but his sister sent us away. She’s scary.” The younger boy says, sounding worried.

“I don’t know. I didn’t know him well, we were in the tutoring club together, but we never talked. If you’re looking for a tutor until he comes back, I’d be glad to help.” The older boy, says.

“Thank you, Kunikida-senpai.”

“You’re welcome, I’m sure he’s fine, he’s like a cockroach, we won’t get rid of him that easily. However, if you’re really worried, why don’t you ask Nakahara-san, they talk a lot. Or school counsellor Ango-san.”

What? Kunikida’s words make me spin around, accidently smacking him with my thankfully empty tray. He stumbles.

“Oh it’s you . . .” he trails off, a little shocked.

“Why do you think I know Mori? We’re not friends.”

His eyes widen and he steps back, intimidated by my sudden aggression. “Well, I- Look, Mori keeps to himself, he doesn't talk to many people, so if he interacts with you, I figured it means something, I was just trying to help the Tanizakis out . . . but I see I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were, it doesn't mean anything.”

I should tell them he’s dead, but for some reason I can’t.  All I can think about is what his final moments in that bathtub must have been like. 

What was he thinking about? Why did he kill himself? He had absolutely no reason too, he had an amazing life, a perfect life even. Rich and well known, with good brains, not a bad face either. What more could anyone want?

I bet that Mori-san told the school he transferred Osamu somewhere else. Is he just being private or is he ashamed of his son’s suicide? It’s pointless because even if the funeral is private the press always finds out these things, the papers will run an obituary and everyone will know. 

I wonder what they’ll say?

What will the Tanizakis say, the kids he apparently tutored? It’s like seeing into a mirror universe, imagining Mori helping people, taking the time to actually make someone else's life easier. It doesn’t make him any less of a snob, or does it? Kind hearted or no, he was still an ass to me, but I will admit this changes something. A lot actually. If he was such a “nice” person, why the hell did he hate me so much? If he had this, something he was doing that I assume he enjoyed, and a group of kids who respected him how could he have just decided to up and die one day?

–

Thursday and Friday tick on uneventfully. It’s no easier to focus now than it was.

Kouyou tells me the funeral is going to have his casket open, but I don’t have to see the body if I don’t want to. I don’t answer her, too busy remembering that time he wouldn’t stop bombarding me with pick-up lines. Most were cheesy and weird. He said “You’d look great at an open casket funeral.”

– Saturday –

Kouyou is taking me to rent a suit for the funeral today. Akiko offered to lend her one of her western style dresses, but she’s going to wear the same black Kimono she wore to our parents' funeral.

-

My suit is too tight, I can barely move my arms, but I’m in between sizes so it’s the best they have.

“You look handsome, Chu.”

“Do I? Well, I feel ridiculous.”

“Chu, come on, it’s only for an hour or two. You don’t even have to stay the whole time, just please don’t make a fuss about it. You’re eighteen, not eight.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. Let’s just go home.”

“Okay, thank you.”

As we walk I don’t tell Kouyou that I want to go to the funeral, she’d just give me a lecture on closure and all that, but I think that maybe she understands it somehow, like hearing an unspoken word, because she doesn't bother me about it again.

-

I’m hesitant to fall asleep, but sleep deprivation will only make tomorrow worse, so I sink into bed anyway.

[peachmuses]

honey brown look up at atsushi, before he giggles, quiet and embarrassed. " okay. " he won't ask then, well -- not now currently. right now, he's in his crushes lap, very comfortable, actually. satsuki nods along, somewhat lost as her boyfriend continues on, " and so you called ki-chan to see if it's true if he actually turns brown ? " boys are weird, she's decided. unfortunately, she's still attracted to them. (un)fortunately, she's dating one of the participants in this whole thing. " you know i thought us girls were bad at sleep-overs, but this is a whole different take. " ryou blinks, brows furrow, " no i've seen him sailor moon pose before - what do you mean he doesn't watch anime. " ryou's attention moves back to the phone as shuuzou picks up the conversation. " he once had all of the miragen sailor moon pose. i'm pretty sure i've got a picture of it somewhere buried. i think it was when we all went to hawaii ? but it could've been when we went somewhere else. i know we weren't in japan at the time. " " that's right ! nijimura-senpai also did it. " " thanks, momoi-chan. " " you're welcome, senpai. " dark eyes roll, as shuuzou leans against makoto, " that was the longest i've ever been away from mako. i tried to pack him in my luggage but auntie ko said no. " tatsuya nudges kazuya for his dramatics, " yours are thicker. zuya's is well-made, don't get me wrong, but if i'm going to wear a sweater - i want to feel like i'm in a bed. " tatsuya leans forward slightly to press kiss against kazuya's jaw, " get thicker clothes and maybe i'll wear them. " satsuki blinks, once, twice. " oh ! " cheeks heat up with embarrassment. " and mukkun -- " she glances at kise, eyes moving downwards and her hand comes up to cover her mouth. " somehow, i think comparing sizes would be better than that. " " momoi-chan ! " " what ?! girls do it all the time ! just ask riko-chan. "

atsushi nods, leaning his head against ryou when he turns, hand still under his shirt as he pulls him closer. “ yeah, just don’t ask me to explain it. ”

“ zuya, ” dryly.

“ yes, mako-chan? ” head turns to look towards makoto. “ am i in trouble? ”

“ why would you ever think that? ”

kazuya shrugs, “ that’s your zuzu you’re in trouble tone. ”

“ yeah, basically. ” more or less, that’s what happened. og shifts, stretching out a leg. “ it snowedballed from there. i texted tatsu, he called, and now we’re here. ”

kise shakes his head, blinking up at momoi, confusion apparent. “ no…? ”

“ kisechin doesn’t watch anime, ” atsushi gently explains before he flips back to tatsuya. “ your boyfriend is right there? why didn’t you take kazuya’s? ”

“ because, ” kazuya sighs dramatically, poking at tatsuya’s side, “ he said yours was more comfortable. ” he’s pouting. “ i can’t even get him to wear my clothes, what am i doing wrong atshi? i think my boyfriend’s broken. ”

og leans in, “ okay so— it’s this scene about this annoying council guy pestering hatsuhara about his hair color, because it’s black and white since he’s like the literal cow from the calander. but a person. don’t ask. and council dude’s all, your hair is against code, there’s no way it’l like that naturally, you have to change it back. hatsuhara’s like okay bet, drags the dude off to the bathroom and the scene cuts to them both walking out with the guy cleaning his glasses saying something about how that’s undeniable and there’s still so many things about the world he doesn’t understand. ”

[dinosaurtsukki]

dating the port mafia’s medic

a/n: basically headcanons of port mafia members dating one of the organization’s medics who happen to be you. i just thought this would be cute and i’m craving fluff. also these are,,, really long.

feat. akutagawa, chuuya, and odasaku

akutagawa ryuunosuke:

you were the doctor that mori specifically assigned to him to help with his lung condition

even though akutagawa was supposed to have regular, weekly sessions he’d only come in like,, twice a month and that was after you texted mori that he hasn’t been visiting you

akutagawa isn’t all too comfortable with the fact that he has to take off his shirt so that you could put him in an x-ray gown or when you need to listen to his breathing with a stethoscope

but you’re incredibly patient with him and also the pay is good so you persist

at one point during one of your sessions, akutagawa grumbles about having to come to the clinic when he just wants to live long enough to make dazai proud

and you’re like ‘is that so?’

“personally, i’d feel kind of sad if you had to die so early”

that kind of gets akutagawa thinking. he can tell by the way you said it that you had no ulterior motives behind it

akutagawa: but,,, i'm your most troublesome patient

you: oh my god you think you're troublesome ??

you start to rant abt all the patients you had to treat before who didn't believe in vaccines or got their elbows stuck in weird places

akutagawa finds your stories really entertaining so he ends up enjoying and willingly going to his sessions with you

after that first fight with atsushi, you ended up taking care of akutagawa and patching up his body 

literal days of you just being at his bedside, worrying and hoping that he'll wake up and then you suddenly realize that maybe you have feelings for him

when akutagawa regains consciousness, he finds that he doesn't entirely hate the situation he's in because he gets to see you more often

he likes listening to more of your stories while you sit at his bedside. eventually he opens up with stories of his own (most of them are abt his missions so yeah)

akutagawa begins visiting your clinic more and one day he comes in even though he doesn't have a session and then agonizes over why the heck he did that

good guy senpai chuuya is basically all 'idk are you in love or something?'

to akutagawa it's utterly unacceptable and he hides his feelings for so long until you're the one who decides to confess to him

and to your surprise, he hesitantly asks if maybe you two would like to be in a relationship

you two are awkward about it at first. akutagawa doesn't really know if drinking tea at your clinic could be considered a 'date' but he does like these moments

both of you have pretty hectic schedules since m your patients are also mafia members and you have to be on-call all the time but akutagawa is really understanding

he likes seeing you in casual clothes but he also thinks you look good in a labcoat (he probably borrowed it when you were not looking to try it on)

because akutagawa has grown quite accustomed to your touch and initiates holding hands with you (in private ofc)

he's still not used to the idea of you taking care of him not just as a doctor but as his s/o but it makes a nice change for once

chuuya nakahara:

the first time he met you was after a mission when he was taking one of his subordinates to the emergency room of the infirmary

you were the doctor on-duty that night and the first time chuuya laid his eyes on you he was like 'damn'

who knew the mafia doctors were this hot amirite

ofc you were also kind of starstruck to see mafia executive chuuya nakahara in the emergency room but you had a job to do and a man was losing blood

you: what's his type?

chuuya: uh,, h/c hair, beautiful eyes, labcoat...

you: i mean... his blood type

chuuya's got it bad. after that night he couldn't stop thinking about that cute medic aka you

but he didn't even know what your shifts were so he LOOKS FOR YOUR CASE FILE IN THE RECORDS

it's like he's gonna commit a murder or something but no he's looking for information on you

the guy’s pretty impressed when he looks at your resume and definitely sees why you were hired to be a doctor at the mafia but that only makes him want to see you more

but questions is, how does he make it look like he was just ‘passing by the infirmary’ and not that he’s actively looking for you

tsundere boy is tsundere

because chuuya almost NEVER gets injured in fights and he’s got a reputation for that and now does he get himself injured on purpose just to see you?

well, the opportunity presents itself in the form of him and dazai fighting cthulhu aka lovecraft but we all know its cthulhu 

chuuya wakes up on a hospital bed to you checking in on him and he almost falls off the bed in shock

but then after he gets his bearings he realizes what an IDEAL SITUATION THIS IS

although it’s kind of hard to flirt with someone when you’re in a hospital gown with an IV infusion stuck to his arm

nonetheless, he finally decides to ask you out after his last day of treatment and you’re shocked of course but agree

although your first date ends up being rain-checked because a patient comes in a new mission for chuuya comes up

actually almost all your dates get rain-checked until after a mission, chuuya decides to visit your clinic with a bouquet of flowers just when you get off your shift

chuuya: are... you free?

you: yeah. are... you free?

both of you are too tired for a fancy restaurant date so you two end up at a cozy bar to share a drink

chuuya loves listening to your stories and talking to you. he literally has his chin on his hands listening to how you made a makeshift tourniquet out of your labcoat while you were on the field

both of you are really busy people but chuuya likes to stop by your clinic once in a while

you always have fresh flowers on your table because chuuya brings them for you

sometimes he’ll come home to you already tired and passed out 

oda sakunosuke:

the first time he met you was after a particularly rough mission and you were luckily there at the emergency room to treat him 

this guy had a concussion and needed stitches asap but instead he was asking you to treat his companions first 

you quickly treated him and let him rest and of course the first thing he asks when he wakes up is how everyone else is doing

your intrigued of course because you’ve never met a mafia member who was like him 

the second time you met him, odasaku actually brought someone from the enemy faction along because he didn’t think that leaving him to die was the right choice

he didn’t know if you would treat them because you were loyal to the mafia but you also had your own moral code as a doctor to treat patients no matter who they were

odasaku stuck around the emergency room knowing that it was going to take you hours to treat the man and when you come out, you’re surprised to see him there with a cup of coffee

the two of you end up sitting in the hallway and talking about all sorts of things. you love listening to how odasaku stopped killing so that he can fulfill his dream of being a writer

he on the other hand loves hearing about how you went through the hell that was med school because you were dedicated to saving lives

maybe odasaku doesn’t mind getting injured so much because that means he gets to see you but also you can’t help but feel worried about him

one time, one of the odasaku’s adopted kids gets really sick and the first person he ends up calling is you because he has no idea what to do 

to his relief, you show up right at the curry restaurant and are very much ready to help

odasaku admires how good you are with kids. even though they just met you, they’ve already taken a liking to your calm, sweet presence

you even pull out your stethoscope and let them take turns listening to each other’s heartbeats

until a kid walks up to oda to check his heartbeat and is like ‘uh,,, your heart is beating really fast’

cue all the kids singing “ODA LOVES Y/N, ODA LOVES Y/N”

you look up at oda and he doesn’t look away and now you know

after that day, oda asks if you would like to maybe have a drink with him or visit a cafe and you say that you would love to

odasaku loves to drop by your clinic because he’s such a caring boyfriend and he knows how stressed you are from your work

he even comes by in the morning to bring you your coffee and he memorizes your order

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi​

[soukokuwu]

Not a request, but am I the only one who feels really uncomfortable when I see Dazai and Akutagawa together? Even though Dazai's become a slightly better person than before, I can't help but notice that he seems to continue being... abusive, just not as physically or blatantly. He manipulates the desire for his praise that he instilled in Akutagawa during his PM days. (Not to mention he instilled that desire in the first place through emotional abuse and it's a leash he's still pulling.) Idk—

—it just makes me feel really uncomfortable, especially because some of it's treated so lightheartedly. Like, the moment where Shin Soukoku are about to head off to catch Fyodor (or so they think). Dazai tells Akutagawa, "This is your chance to show me how much you've improved", while knowing full well how desperate to please him Akutagawa is. Akutagawa reacts automatically in a "Yes sir" mode and... it's bothersome to me personally, how the scene looks like it's supposed to be amusing. It also doesn't help how some people in the fandom make it a joke about how Akutagawa wants Dazai-senpai's attention. On one hand I feel like I may be being too sensitive, but on the other hand Dazai/Akutagawa looks like a seriously abusive relationship and it makes me uncomfortable to see it glossed over and used for comic relief in the way it occasionally has been. Is it just me? (Sorry for the rambling lmao.)

No it’s okay dw!! ^.^ (my personal groggy opinions under the cut)

Personally, for me, I’m not very sensitive to many things, but after reading this I can definitely understand where you’re coming from.

(ADA Dazai) A behaviour like that, at least in almost everyone I know irl, is not easy to kick. He most likely is containing it very well (I’m guessing he grew up in the same kind of environment he instilled upon Aku, what with being raised under Mori and being used etc) but he’s grown aware there were better ways to do it. But then again, he isn’t the type to say ‘sorry’ or do things explicitly. His improvements are many, but subtle. I do think he is still very capable of being as manipulative as he once was, but one thing I will give him props for is toning it down, sorta.

(when skk are about to fight fyodor) I don’t think he intended for it to be anything personal (at least when he’s ADA Dazai). He probably said it because either 1. he’s just that much of a joker or 2. he thinks it’s the only way to motivate Aku further, given his past. It is part of his whole “comedic” persona after all. It could be a show of how he ‘warms up’ to people? Idk, I think of some people calling their friends names as jokes and all and that could be the equivalent (or something similar). It’s a weird thing to compare to but my sleepy brain can’t think of anything >.<

But also yes, I would get your frustrations with how it’s perceived by most people as a lapdog wanting attention from its owner. I just choose to believe that they don’t actually support such actions irl. I’ve been in Aku’s position (not with the risk of the murders and whatnot ofc) where they manipulate you to the point of wanting to earn any sort of praise from the person just so you can feel validated, and it really shouldn’t happen to anyone. Yet it does. Some people do it subconsciously, even. And some just like to manipulate people into that state so that they can feel important; assert dominance. In Dazai’s case, I’m not sure of his exact motivations whether it’s because it’s the only thing he knew or it was intentional and sadistic, not like anyone will explicitly tell us, but either way it was wrong, though I think he can only improve slowly. I hope there comes a day when they can totally get past that, and I’m hoping I get to see it. It doesn’t excuse what he’s done, and I personally wished Aku could’ve had better. But if he did, who knows if Aku would’ve turned out as tough as he had? He and Atsushi were both raised in hell, but I am so, so glad they both broke out of it.

I might’ve missed out on some details because it’s been a while since I’ve watched/read bsd, sorry!! 😣 But these are my thoughts as far as I remember~ SORRY I RAMBLED TOO, AND MORE THAN YOU AAAAA 😭😭 but yes idm you rambling to me anytime anony I hope I was okay with these >.<

[naberiuz]

Did you know male cats have spines on their dicks?

Read on: AO3

"Do you have spines on your dick?"

He tries very hard to maintain a straight face as the jinko lifts his head slowly, revealing a very confused expression.

“What?” Atsushi blurts out, eyebrows pulling downward in bewilderment. “Why would you even—where did you even get that idea?”

Or: Akutagawa just really, really wants them to move to third base. He resorts to using a weird biological fact against Atsushi.

Starting note:

Hey guys. Biology student here. 100% not inventing this shit up. Male felines have dick spines because for some reason the females don't ovulate without getting their VJs shredded, which is why they're so fucking loud when having sex. That's a dramatized answer, but you get the point.

Akutagawa will be calling Atsushi "jinko" a lot in this fic, because imo I don't think Akutagawa refers to him using his real name even when it's just on his mind. They would have to be on Level 20 of romantic relationship before Akutagawa finally calls him by name. Not that you don't guys probably already know, but jinko = weretiger.

---

Fun fact: Did you know male cats have spines on their penises?

Akutagawa’s thumb freezes on his phone screen. He very nearly barks out a laugh which he hastily covers up by clearing his throat. Higuchi looks at him in question, looking ready to ask him the reason but Akutagawa just gives her a shake of his head.

Barbed penises? That’s interesting. He thinks to himself as he scrolls down, amused by the new discovery. There’s really only one person in mind who counts somewhat as a feline, and it’s none other than the jinko.

The jinko, whom he has been having an interesting relationship lately.

The arrangement Dazai set for them had been highly appalling at first, but no one can deny that they were indeed more powerful together. Which somehow led to the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency's cooperative relationship, for the first time ever. And by "cooperative" it means that he and the jinko don’t attempt to kill each other every meeting and are willing enough to work together (reluctantly) on joint missions.

Which then further led to this and that. Heated arguments turned to annoyed banters, which turned to almost comfortable silences.

Which then turned to fierce make-out sessions, apparently. Post mission make-out sessions and grinding against each other in back alleys, specifically.

It is incredibly absurd, he admits readily to himself. Absurd in the way that of all the people he’d be doing such things, it had to be jinko, the supposed object of his hatred. But also, it was absurd in that it had been so easy. It’s almost as a natural part of their relationship now, ending missions with the jinko stalking over to him and slotting their mouths together, shredded clothes and bloody overcoats be damned.

And well speaking of dick spines, he doubts that the jinko has them at all given their past excursions. But it would be a real problem if he actually did, though highly unlikely, because well…

It’s been 3 months and they still haven’t done anything on the down low. And Akutagawa is quickly becoming…impatient.

The scenery outside the car windows freezes in place, signalling their destination. Higuchi immediately fumbles to open the door to her side and rounds the car in record time to open Akutagawa’s.

“Senpai! We’re here!”

Akutagawa steps out of the black vehicle, trying very hard not to give Higuchi a full-on irritated face. He's always been annoyed Higuchi for her unnecessary actions, but he’s learned a long time ago that nothing he would say would ever faze her.

He gives their destination a cursory glance; a shipping dock near Osanbashi. Large enough to house multiple freights but small enough not to be considered as major, thereby making it perfect for contraband trade. One of these freight containers is not like the others.

“Senpai, Chuuya-san’s instructions were to either eliminate or capture the foreign syndicate’s ability users. We do not need to track down their upper brass as he thinks the Boss might make arrangements with their leader to be absorbed into the Port Mafia—”

“I know, Higuchi.” Akutagawa cuts her off firmly, trying to let her know that she does not need to reiterate everything to him every single damn time, he’s her superior for god’s sake. But all he gets is an enthusiastic “Yes! As expected from senpai!”.

He almost rolls his eyes, if not for the sudden cough that comes up from his chest. The sounds of his coughing were drowned out by the sound of another vehicle arriving on the scene. The car doors open, and out comes a bespectacled blond man sporting a ponytail, notebook in hand, and from the other side comes out…jinko.

Higuchi is immediately on guard beside him, but Akutagawa cracks up a smirk from behind the hand covering his mouth, gaze locked in with intense violet-yellow eyes.

---

“The Armed Detective Agency isn’t here to share your goal of eliminating the syndicate’s ability users. We are only here to gather intel about the syndicate’s top brass. We believe one of their leaders is connected to one of our ongoing cases.” Kunikida Doppo recites without looking up from his notebook, scribbling furiously with veins popping out on his forehead. “That damn Dazai messing up my schedule! The stupid bandage wasting machine was supposed to accompany Atsushi here but the idiot really chose this time to escape to god knows where…”

Akutagawa perks up at the mention of his former mentor’s name, surprised and crushed at the same time to know that he could have been here. If Dazai-san were here, I would have used this chance to finally prove myself worthy… Across him, Atsushi raises an eyebrow at his reaction to which Akutagawa pointedly ignores. Behind them, Higuchi is scanning the shipping dock with her binoculars.

“….anyway we don’t need your armed grunts to come rushing in.” Kunikida continues after his mini rant, gesturing to the multiple black cars parked around the vicinity. “I’d rather keep the element of surprise. And we do not have the slightest clue about the abilities of our opponents, which is worrying considering that the agency and the abilities division has nothing on record.”

“Hm. Pathetic.” Akutagawa grunts out. Kunikida’s eyebrow twitches, but he presses on.

“It is unfortunate. What we do know is that while the ability users are here guarding their cargo, their top brass is probably somewhere else. We will need to extricate information from one of their ability users regarding their leaders’ details. Will you be able to cooperate with us on that?”

“Do what you want. Just don’t get in my way.” Akutagawa replies, but he’s not looking at the blond man. Atsushi glares back, looking as if he wanted to say the same thing to him.

“Good. Okay, now here’s the plan…”

---

Suffice to say, the fight was greatly disappointing. The ability users turned out to be just two scared brothers, probably younger than 12. They were kidnapped by the syndicate from their family in Germany, and were given instructions to deter anyone who takes an interest on the cargo. The only action they got were the couple dozen of foreign armed goons who flanked the cargo ship, which was obviously a piece of cake for the combined prowess of Rashoumon and Beast Beneath the Moonlight.

The ability users weren’t even particularly troublesome; their ability, Grimm Fairytale could create grotesque versions of a person’s fantasies but only if both brothers were holding each of a target’s hands. Kunikida handled them well by addressing them gently, accompanied by some coaxing from Higuchi (a sight that was a bit disconcerting), and the brothers easily squealed their leaders’ details. Well as much as two scared children could possibly know, which was still apparently more than enough for one of the detectives in the agency to pinpoint the identities and locations of the syndicate's leaders.

“Okay. Alright. I’ll see you again at the office tomorrow. Yes. Take care, Kunikida-san!” Behind him, Atsushi ends his call. Higuchi had been forced to accompany the Grimm brothers, mostly because they wouldn’t let go of her pant legs. Akutagawa had waved her off, saying something about ordering her to accompany Kunikida to bring the children to a safehouse. He figures the mission counts as a success on Port Mafia’s end.

He feels an arm curl around his waist from behind, startling him mid-cough. He stiffens reflexively and he’s quick to clutch on the jinko’s forearm with both hands, nails digging into pale skin.

“You do that one more time and I will seriously kill you, jinko.”

Atsushi sighs, turning him around so they were face to face. “As if you haven't been doing that all this time." Atsushi mumbles, eyes not meeting Akutagawa's but rather at his lips. He leans in, and Akutagawa's eyes flutter closed.

They kiss languidly, arms around each other's waists, their similar heights providing them ease. Their tongues dance with no real rush, feeling completely relaxed in each other's embrace. Akutagawa notes something new every time they do this. How the jinko likes to pinch his hands on Akutagawa's waist, or how he likes it when he pulls at his bottom lip with his teeth. Atsushi pulls him flush to his chest, deepening their kiss and Akutagawa lets him, placing both hands on the jinko's shoulders-

Somewhere behind them, one of the goons groans in pain. They pull apart reluctantly, sharing one look before peeking behind to check for the source of the noise. Akutagawa briefly considers stabbing the goon with Rashoumon, if not for the hand that pushes at his shoulder.

"Let's just get out of here."

---

They're walking along a desolate street, which was unsurprising at this time of the night. Beside him, Atsushi is wearing his spare shoes, but his shirt was tattered on the sleeves, a consequence of his man-tiger form. What a highly incovenient ability, and yet Dazai-san thinks you are better...

He knows an alley is coming up ahead, having memorized all of Yokohama's ins and outs. He wastes no time to grab at the jinko's arm and pulls him there. Atsushi tries to close in on him, going for another kiss when Akutagawa beats him to it, pushing him against the wall.

They're rougher with each other this time, more biting and angry moans spilling from their mouths as they push and pull against each other. He pulls at the hair on the base of Atsushi's neck and pulls their faces away, teeth latching his mouth on the side of the jinko's neck.

"You know..." Atsushi starts to say in between shaky breaths. "I'm starting to think making out in dirty alleys is a kink of yours."

Akutagawa huffs at that and pulls away to glare at Atsushi, not liking the comment. "Why, jinko? You think you can bring me somewhere fancy?" Atsushi smiles, dumbfounding Akutagawa for a moment. His stomach definitely did not do a flip after seeing that expression targeted at him.

"Only if you're paying." Atsushi replies as he promptly wrapping his arms around Akutagawa's waist to change their position. He lets himself be maneuvered, the back of his head hitting the wall behind him gently. Atsushi nips at his ear before leaving feather-light kisses down his neck, which Akutagawa obligingly cranes to the side, a satisfied sigh coming out from his nose. Atsushi’s arms presses them closer, chest-to-chest, Akutagawa’s torso bending back slightly.

Their crotches rub at each other at the action, hard-ons rubbing ever so slightly and—

Speaking of hard-ons…

He's not sure what comes over to him, but he pushes slightly at Atsushi's shoulders.

“Jinko.” Akutagawa breathes out. Atsushi lets out a vaguely annoyed hum, lips still continuing their ministrations at his throat. Akutagawa blurts out the question anyway.

“Do you have spines on your dick?”

...

...

...

A few moments of silence pass by, Atsushi suddenly freezing from the open mouthed kiss he was leaving on Akutagawa’s neck.

He tries very hard to maintain a straight face as the jinko lifts his head slowly, revealing a very confused expression.

“What?” Atsushi blurts out, eyebrows pulling downward in bewilderment. “Why would you even—where did you even get that idea?” He says quickly, taking a small step backwards and giving his own crotch a glance before snapping up to meet Akutagawa’s deadpan expression.

“I read earlier that male cats have spines on their penises. Is that true for you?” Akutagawa replies easily, one corner of his mouth twitching up. Atsushi’s face instantly flushes a shade of pink in front of him, mouth falling open in shock.

“I am not a cat!” Atsushi splutters, to which Akutagawa just raises an (invisible) eyebrow at.

“Well I am…s-sort of, but no, I mean!” Atsushi’s hands flail around for a bit before continuing. “No, I don’t have them! Why would you think that?” He finishes off lamely, crossing his arms while glaring at the dark-haired man.

Akutagawa lets out a hmph, though he sounds more amused that annoyed. He gives the other an unconvinced expression to rile him up further. “How unfortunate. To think you’ve been living like this all this time. Pitiful and pathetic.”

“I really don’t! Seriously!" Atsushi replies heatedly, taking the bait. "I don’t understand why you’d think that when we’ve been doing…” Atsushi trails off, glancing away. The redness from his cheek has spread all the way to his ears, making him look equal parts ashamed and angry.

“Oh really, jinko?” Akutagawa replies challengingly, a new glint in his eyes. He’s met with a violet-yellow glare.

“Prove it then.”

Akutagawa watches his reaction, a self-satisfied smirk on his own face, knowing his words will do something to the jinko.

The effect was almost immediate. Atsushi grits his teeth in annoyance before closing in on Akutagawa’s space in a fit of embarrassed rage. The sudden movement forces Akutagawa to step back and crash into the wall behind him, bracing for an impromptu fight-

But then Atsushi grabs at his wrist and places his hand firmly on his crotch.

"S-so? why don’t you see for yourself?" Atsushi says, face a mere centimeters away from his own. The effect of his glare ruined by the blush on his cheeks. Akutagawa's mouth hangs open in surprise, eyes wide, trying to think of a reply to the jinko’s sudden boldness.

Nothing comes out. Slowly he absorbs the intent behind the jinko's move, moving his gaze downwards. He can’t see much other than the dark fabric of the jinko’s pants and his own pale hand.

He presses harder and rubs tentatively on the sizeable tent underneath his palm. Atsushi swallows audibly, eyes closing and mouth falling open in relief. His still hasn’t let up on his hold on Akutagawa’s wrist, hand curling a little tighter as he grinds back slightly.

Inwardly, Akutagawa could not believe his luck, biting his lower lip as he watches Atsushi use his wrist as leverage. To think that jinko finally pushed things forward between them… He leans forward to press a kiss on Atsushi’s jaw, letting the jinko grind himself on his palm.

“I don’t know about seeing, jinko…” He breathes out, the air from his mouth fanning Atsushi’s pale hair. “Since I’m only feeling you.” He says to the other's ear, giving him a particularly hard rub to make his point clear, making Atushi's breath hitch.

His other hand reaches up to rest on the jinko's belt buckle, trying to give him a hint. Atsushi gets it immediately, pulling away from his shoulder. His hands shake a bit as he fumbles at the metal, pulling off the leather and hastily popping the button on his trousers. Akutagawa watches him work, mouth getting dryer in anticipation. He pushes a hand up at Atsushi's shirt to see him more clearly, resting his hands on his navel and feeling the lean muscles underneath. Atsushi's hands come up to rest on Akutagawa's waist the moment he pops the button open.

As they stand there, underneath the pale half-moon, Atsushi's trousers gaping wide at the front, the very obvious tent on his boxers out in the open for Akutagawa to see, he can't help but think to himself: Fucking finally.

One of his hand plays at the hem of the jinko's boxers while the other cups his hard-on appreciatively. Atsushi lets out a shaky moan, hands moving to nudge Akutagawa's coat open to rest on Akutagawa's hips. He thumbs at the hem of the other's slacks, trying to tell him the same thing.

Akutagawa ignores the action for the time-being, his bony fingers hooking on the hem of the jinko's boxers and dragging it down slowly. Atsushi lets out a hiss as his dick pops out from his boxers, the chill night air hitting his sensitive skin. He hides his face on Akutagawa's shoulder to stifle his obvious embarrassment.

Akutagawa huffs amusedly. The jinko has nothing to be embarrassed about, he thinks as he wraps a hand around the shaft and presses his thumb on the slit, spreading the precum around the head. He notes the differences between them, how the jinko feels thicker than his own, although they are similar in length. The thought annoys him just a tiny bit, feeling more pleased and excited at the fact that they have finally reached this far. He digs his thumb harder on the slit, prompting a high-pitched keen from Atsushi.

"Jinko. Look at me." He says softly. Atsushi's head rises, shy violet-yellow eyes meeting Akutagawa's grey ones. He feels himself get lost in the jinko's gaze as he gives him slow strokes, watching in appreciation as Atsushi moans, back bowing slightly in pleasure.

Atsushi lets him stroke a couple times, his cock coating the other's hand with more precum. His eyes slide back to Akutagawa's still clothed erection, and he feels a small ruge of irritation. Gritting his teeth, he straightens up, fully intent on bringing the other man on the same level. He grasps on the other's hand to halt his movements. The other man complies, but the grip never leaves his cock.

"I want to see you too." Atsushi breathes out, tugging insistently on the other man's trousers. Akutagawa lets out a soft hmph, his other hand coming between them to pop his own button open one-handedly. He pulls the zipper down and moves to reach the hem of his briefs, but the jinko beats him to it. Atsushi eagerly yanks his underwear down and wastes no time to envelope Akutagawa's cock in his fist, prompting a grunt from the dark-haired man.

Atsushi stares, wide-eyed and pleased, giving the other a few experimental strokes. Akutagawa flushes despite himself, exhaling with relief and feeling delighted that the jinko likes what he sees. Don't stare like it's your first time to see one... He strokes Atushi again, this time with more speed, before the jinko could say something about their dicks.

"Ah! Damn it, Akutagawa..." Atsushi groans but mirrors the action, matching Akutagawa's pace. He leans in to suck at the area under Akutagawa's jaw and leaves a small mark, listening closely to the other man's soft mewls and gasps.

A hand comes up behind his head to pull at his hair, but not enough force to pull him away from leaving kisses on the other man's neck. He snakes a hand up underneath Akutagawa's shirt in response, thumb grazing over the indents of his ribs before finding a pert nub. He toys with it using his thumb, Akutagawa letting out a surprised moan at the action.

"You-ah...what do you think you're doing-ngh" Akutagawa sighs out in between moans, and Atsushi quickly becomes attached to the sound of the other man losing his composure. He toys harder on the nipple, liking the way Akutagawa bit his lip in pleasure. Akutagawa picks up the pace on Atsushi's cock in retaliation, determined to make the jinko unravel first. Atsushi groans, long and low by his ear, making him shiver from the back of his eyes and all the way down his back. Atsushi picks his pace up as well, at the same time he drives his tongue inside Akutagawa's open mouth.

The sound of slick sliding between their hands resounds through the alley, making Akutagawa feel both self-conscious and hot at the same time. He responds eagerly to the kiss, tongues moving together in a heated dance before pulling back to gasp for air. The sounds of his moans become louder, but he's too far gone in his pleasure to remember to keep his voice down.

"Akutagawa..ah..." Atsushi gasps his name in between breathy moans, his other arm reaching around Akutagawa to pull them closer. He wraps his hand tighter on the other man's cock and gives firmer strokes, his pace never letting up. Akutagawa's eyes pinch closed at the action and lets out a long keen from gritted teeth, and Atsushi very nearly comes from the sight. He holds himself back, determined to make the experience last a little longer. He leaves more kisses on Akutagawa's jaw, his neck, his collarbone, thoroughly enjoying the sounds coming out from their mouths and from the hands between them.

"I'm close...ah...are you too?" He says breathlessly, whispering directly to the other's ear. Akutagawa shivers and nods shakily, not trusting his own voice. Atsushi almost feels disappointed from the other's refusal to open his mouth, but he's distracted by Akutagawa covering his hand with his own, blunt fingernails digging on Atsushi's knuckles.

A few more hard strokes from the jinko's hand and the pleasure spikes all the way up for Akutagawa who throws his head back in bliss, a dull pain spreading from his head as he hits the wall behind him. He's moaning, long and drawn out, voice breaking with trembling lips. The sight triggers something in Atsushi, quickly forcing him to follow with his own orgasm mere seconds later. His groan is muffled as he bites particularly hard on Akutagawa's neck, eyes closed and his torso bowing so far forward into Akutagawa's chest that he bends him at an uncomfortable angle.

They catch their breath, hands coated by the other's cum. Atsushi adjusts so he's resting his head on Akutagawa's shoulder instead, aware of the strain he put on Akutagawa's back.  The other man lays flat on the wall, eyes still closed with gasping breaths falling out of his mouth.

After a few minutes of coming down from their high, Atsushi pulls back and steps away shakingly. Atsushi watches as Akutagawa tucks himself in and fishes for something in his coat pocket, pulling out a handkerchief which he wordlessly uses to wipe his hands clean of cum. Atsushi blushes at the sight and hastily tucks himself back in his boxers, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Akutagawa reaches for his hand the moment he pulls the button closed, using the same handkerchief to wipe off the mess. Atsushi mumbles out a small 'thanks' before moving to insert his belt back in the buckle, genuinely appreciative for the other man's initiative.

A small awkward silence fills the air as they both finish fixing themselves up. Atsushi fidgets on his feet, unsure of what to say after their tryst. Across him, Akutagawa feels pleased and relieved that they have finally done it.

"Well..." Akutagawa is the first to break the silence, letting out a small cough before continuing. "I guess I'm relieved to find out you don't have them."

Atsushi rolls his eyes, but there's a small smile on his face. He turns around to leave.

So the jinko doesn't have spines on his dick after all.

But that wasn't the point, really. Akutagawa thinks to himself, satisfied, before stepping out of the alley with the jinko.

---

Ending note:

Handjobs only lol. Mostly because I don’t think Akutagawa can give a blowjob without coughing every 10 seconds, which would have been a real mood killer.

Re:handkerchief. I just think Akutagawa is a neat guy, you know? And neat guys normally have hankies on them. Idk, it's probably the frilly blouse which made me think this way.

Grimm Brothers as in Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, who collected and wrote German fairytales including Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Snow White, and Cinderella. Plot twist? They’re actually VERY FAR from Disney’s versions, with many of their stories containing disturbing content. For some weird reason Disney decided to turn them into rainbows and sparkles.

This is the first fic for a trilogy I'm writing. Hehe. Oh and this is the first time I have written smut.  *finger guns* That's right, this is what 21 year old nerds do. I am proud of myself.

[hamliet]

Gin Should Be Fine

Another chapter, another month with no answers about my girl. 

That said, I really think she’s okay, and I’m going to write out why because it helps me deal.

Gin’s role thus far has primarily been a mystery that is slowly being unveiled with revelations that she’s a woman and that she’s Akutagawa’s sister. She has potential for an arc of her own, but so far we haven’t seen one, and killing her before we even see a single interaction between her and her brother beyond a brief “let’s go home” scene observed by Higuchi would be... I mean icky from a social perspective, but also Not Good from a narrative POV. If they want us to grieve a sibling relationship, it shouldn’t be shown to us just in flashbacks. 

As much as I don’t like it, I think we all know that what happened to Gin is going to be used for Akutagawa’s development, especially when we consider his current promise to Atsushi not to kill anyone for six months. Clearly her injury is going to challenge this for him, as I highly doubt the emotional Akutagawa isn’t going to want to rip Tachihara apart. But the thing is, having Gin survive injured makes a lot more sense for his development than killing her does. 

If Gin is dead, that... gives us very little development. We’ve seen what happens when Akutagawa loses his most important person (Dazai). Losing Gin doesn’t really make sense as a consequence since the manga has never warned him about choosing Dazai over Gin, or Atsushi and revenge over Gin, or anything of the sort. Him choosing not to kill Tachihara at the end (as seems to be where the arc is going to end up) doesn’t have a lot of stakes if she’s dead; instead, it makes his choices, no matter what they are, empty because nothing will bring his sister back. if she’s alive, he has a way of choosing life over death, which is exactly what he’s supposed to be learning through Atsushi’s six-month challenge. 

Akutagawa’s arc also doesn’t really need him to sink further into the darkness; on the contrary, I think what we’re going to see is Akutagawa inching towards the light and humanity (and having a sister is a part of this), while we’ll see Atsushi becoming somewhat darker (not diving off the deep end though)--only for the two of them to eventually meet in the middle. 

And then there is Tachihara, who is clearly painted as conflicted. If the manga wants us to sympathize with him and buy into his internal conflict over what he did to the mafia members, I have a hard time seeing him as having killed a character who is the sister of a beloved popular character, not to mention pretty well-liked in her own right. 

If they’re really dead, then what is the choice facing Tachihara now? His brother’s death means he isn’t coming back, and if they aren’t either. there’s no one left in the mafia besides maybe Higuchi whom he feels close to (and Higuchi would not forgive him for killing Akutagawa-senpai’s sister). But if they’re still alive, just wounded, then Tachihara has a more compelling arc ahead of him (even if I expect him to dig in his heels a bit more because I’m pretty sure Akutagawa and Atsushi will team up to defeat the Hunting Dogs). 

Related to that... no one dies in this manga. Like, if Kunikida is still alive, if Futon-Man who just so happens to love Gin is fine, if Yosano’s ending was also a cliffhanger, I’m pretty sure they’re all alive. The only characters who die are characters we do not know: the little child Kunikida couldn’t save, Ace and the boy at Dostoyevsky’s hands, and like... Gogol, who wasn’t exactly in many chapters. This would be a weird place to start killing recurrent characters. (nb: this isn’t to say I think everyone will survive the whole story, but I do think the majority will and most if not all recurrent characters will make it to the final arc which will probably come out like ten years from now.)

[awkwardbsd]

Akutagawa?

First impression

Where are his eyebrows? What’s with his weird hair? Why does he keep coughing? Seriously, what’s with this character design? He looks like a vampire reject. I don’t know how to feel about Kensho Ono being cast for this role.

Current Impression

Where are his eyebrows? What’s with his weird hair? Seriously, what’s with this character design? He looks like a vampire reject. Kensho Ono is actually pretty good for this role. Akutagawa needs to calm his “senpai notice me” instincts. Dazai, get back here and raise this kid. You owe it to him. You screwed him up. Get back here.

Favourite moment

That shoulder pat that ended his life. Not to mention the iconic moment in the manga when he uses Atsushi’s ears as a steering wheel. 

Idea for a story

I want some more interaction between Akutagawa and Dazai just because I kind of want to know what makes Akutagawa miss him that much. Why does he want Dazai’s praise? I need answers for the relationship.

I also want more interaction between Chuuya and Akutagawa because I just think it would be explosive and interesting.

I want to know more of the Akutagawa sibling dynamic.

Unpopular opinion

He hasn’t gotten better with age in looks or personality. He hasn’t gotten enough development for me to really like him as much of the rest of the cast.

Favourite relationship

Gin and Ryu!

Favourite headcanon

The Akutagawa siblings are really close, and Akutagawa secretly worries for Gin, and if it was his choice, she wouldn’t be an assassin for the Mafia. But he trusts her enough to know that she’s safe and within arms reach. He would be very uncomfortable with the idea of her getting a boyfriend.

He has to listen to Chuuya’s drunken rant, and he defends Dazai’s honour even in private (when Chuuya trash talks him).

[mahkaria]

Of novelists and stray dogs - Chapter 2

On a rainy day 

At the back of the university, whilst the sky cried and rain fell on all windows, stood two people : a teenager and a boy. Although surrounded by books, they barely paid attentions to the objects. The eyebrows of the older were furrowed in frustration.

“Wait Atsushi, are you telling me you spent the evening with three people you didn’t even know? How could you do something so damn stupid?”

“I really didn’t want to. I just didn’t manage to say no.”

“For fuck’s sake, take care of yourself a bit, would you? I don’t want to find you dead one day just because you followed a suspicious person.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

Atsushi looked at the blond man in front of him. Kunikida Doppo, the man who had accepted to resolve his education’s shortage. Right now, the teenager was busy obtaining his degree in order to become a teacher.

If not for the two months he had spent as his student, he wouldn’t have thought him to be such an amazing mentor.

It was a frosty day.

Atsushi had now been living in Yokohama for one week. Buying furnitures had been both the best and worst experience of his life. So much possibilities he barely knew what to choose. He didn’t have the money to buy anything fancy but the feeling of control this situation had offered to him was overwhelming.

However, no matter how happy he was, he needed to get back to work if he wanted to keep his independence. Using Internet was still a mystery to him except for sending mails. He had no other choice but to go to the closest library. One of his neighbour, a nice old lady had affirmed him, he could find one popular with students not too far away.

Until now, the orphanage’s library had been enough to learn a decent amount of informations. Enough for his first short stories to be coherent and interesting (he hoped) but he couldn’t rest on it.

He walked into the building, afraid that at any moment someone might order him to go out. No one would, he knew it but integrating it would take a while. The feeling of being an imposter refused to vanish.

I can’t live my whole life thinking everything I do is wrong. I have as much rights as any other person to be alive.

As he was about to go to the history section, a shout startled him. A few meters away stood a blond colossus. A furious blond colossus.

“We are in a library ! A place of knowledge and study, disturbing everyone as you are doing is an insult to all those who want to succeed. So shut the fuck up !”

I should probably stay as far away as possible from this guy , Atsushi thought.

His interlocutors looked at him with an expression akin to someone seeing an exploding volcano. Absolute terror.

Despite his victims’ remorses, the man kept screaming. It reminded him painfully of the headmaster.

I’m definitely not going near him.

A librarian went to see him and ordered him in angry whispers to be quiet. Red blossomed on the man’s ears as he stuttered with embarrassment.

It doesn’t concern me. I need to find books.

He continued his journey and arrived to shelves with old front covers. It seemed to be about north american folklore. How interesting.

Or at least it could be if he was able to reach them. The awful consequences of being under a meter and fifty centimeters. As he struggled on his tiptoes to catch what he wanted, a hand invaded his vision and caught it before handling it to him.

“Thank you very much.”

“Aren’t you a bit young to be here? Do not cause trouble.”

“I-I don’t intend to.”

In front of him stood the man from before, his serious eyes entirely focused on Atsushi. How lucky he was !

“It is a library dedicated to students, you should probably go somewhere else if you’re just looking for something to read.”

“I’m not ! I’m doing researches.”

“Is that so? Alright then.” He didn’t seem to be convinced.

Careful to keep looking at the man in case he started yelling again, he sat to the closest desk and started reading.

“Shouldn’t you be at school at this hour?” The man asked with the same suspicion again.

“I’m not skipping, I just can’t go.”

“I see. Sorry for asking.” He said and also took a chair. Almost immediately he took a notebook out of one his jacket and started writing in it.

“It’s… fine.”

His focus went back to the book. Some of the words didn’t make sense. He wasn’t familiar enough with the american culture to know them however he could almost guess their meaning. One however…

His brows furrowed in confusion. What could be the significance of this one?

“What’s wrong, kid?”

“Nothing, I-”

“Just speak, I’m not going to scold you for asking a question and it’d be annoying to have someone in trouble next to me.”

“I’m just not sure of what it means.”

“Which word?”

“Orora Borealiz?”

“Aurora Borealis, it’s a latin word so you don’t pronounce the s as if was a phonetical z.”

“I see.”

“It’s a natural phenomenon when lights from different colours - especially green - appear on the sky. It only happens in the northern and southern pole and if I remember correctly it happens because photons from the sun interract with the particular atmosphere.”

As the man spoke, Atsushi kept writing what he said. The first thing he had bought after arriving in the city had been a notebook to remember informations and ideas for his stories.

It must have been the right thing to do since his interlocutor looked at him with appreciation.

“Did you understand everything?”

“I think so.”

At the orphanage, most of the books weren’t exactly suited for children. They were donations from people who no longer needed them, hence why school books had found their way to the place. Atsushi had once read one about physics (far too complicated for him to understand everything) but enough to learn about basic particles.

“Do you have any other questions?”

Despite his grumpy behaviour, he still had the air of someone avid to help.

First impressions really are misleading. He isn’t at all how I thought he’d be.

“Do you know books I should read?”

“Well it depends of what you’re interested in.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll read anything.”

“Really? Well then there are quite a few books on mathematics which are really interesting.”

“Won’t they be a bit complicated ? No one ever taught anything about it.”

“You’ve never what ? Got maths lessons?”

“Yes?”

The man suddenly rose up and left.

What had happened?

Did I do something wrong? Maybe he doesn’t like being around people who never got any real education.

He looked around. No trace, he had just vanished.

Or at least, that’s what he thought.

A deep bang surprised him. He had come back with a pile of books.

“I think it should be enough.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“I can’t let a kid be ignorant of this kind of subject so if you want I can - I can tutor you. Only if you’re motivated, though, I won’t accept any half-assed work.”

“That’s so nice of you ! Thank you so much ! But I don't want to impose...”

“I’m not nice !” He blushed ? “I want to be a teacher so it’s normal for me to practise by mentoring kids so don't worry. My name is Kunikida Doppo by the way.”

“Then, nice to meet you, Kunikida-sensei. I’m Nakajima Atsushi.”

When he heard the honorific “sensei”, Kunikida could only emit a sound which could be compared to a dying whale’s.

“I don’t have the right diploma so it is not right for you to call me “sensei”.”

“Would “senpai” be better?”

“I guess it would be.”

The blush hadn’t subsided which was endearing in a way. Kunikida-senpai could really only be described as an amazing person.

“So anyway, I thought about some questions to evaluate your level and if you’re not able to answer I swear I’ll go punch those who raised you.”

Although quite a violent one.

From here, their relationship had quickly evolved. They'd meet at least thrice a week and worked together. Being the youngest of his class since he was only sixteen, Kunikida tended to be quite isolated from the rest. Tutoring Atsushi was his only consequent social interaction. Exactly like Atsushi who, too focused on his next short stories, barely went outside.

A day, when Atsushi - too lost in his work and worried about the next full moon - had forgotten to eat one too many meal, he had grabbed Atsushi by the scruff of his neck - like a furiously protective cat with his cub - and had brought him to his home. This had also marked the day Atsushi had met Kunikida’s grandmother.  

“One would think you’d be able to take care of yourself.”

“I’m really sorry !”

“Don’t apologize, just make sure it never happens again.” He had huffed.

The old woman had softly giggled before serving him again. Her udons were to die for.

“Listen, next time you meet one of them, just call me. I’ll make sure they don’t hurt you.”

“Ango-san and Oda-san were really nice so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“And what about the last one? Dazai was it?”

“I don’t know how to describe him? He was a bit weird but I’m sure he’s not that bad.”

“Chuuuuu - yaaaaa ~ Guess what I’ve got !”

“If you’ve stolen one of my hat again, I swear I’ll destroy your annoying face.”

“Such a violent chibi… Why would I want one of your ugly hat anyway apart from burning them? No, no, I have something much more interesting.”

“I don’t want to know.”

Chuuya kept sending his fists into the punching ball, imagining with pleasure it was his partner’s face instead of leather.

The other kept looking at him with shiny and expectant eyes. The bastard could have almost been convincing.

Minutes went away and he quickly grew tired of the other’s presence.

“What the fuck do you want?”

Like a magician very proud of himself, Dazai produced a rectangular object (a book, his mind quickly supplied) from his sleeve.

“Guess who just got a signed copy from your favourite author?”

“Don’t lie, bastard, Tsukishiro-sensei doesn’t participate to book signings.”

“You instantly knew who I was talking about. Chuuya has a celebrity crush.” Dazai singsonged. “How embarrassing.”

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t, I just respect his job.”

Paying attention to such a dumbass would only result in a lowering of his IQ, Chuuya decided, no need to give him more attention. He went back to his training.

It had been a year since he had joined the Port mafia and he was pleased to see his strength and endurance had significantly increased. Probably a consequence of a good diet and a direct access to necessities such as medicines. In opposition to the mackerel, his physical strength could rival anyone and he was decided to keep it that way.

Don’t adopt a pattern while fighting, if you can think about it so can your enemy. You must be as impredictible as possible. Be -

A soft whistling interrupted his thoughts.

“Why the hell are you still here, fucktard?”

“Chuuya hasn’t looked at what I wanted to show him.”

“And I won’t.”

He tried to focus once again.

Dazai wouldn’t stay stil for so long if he didn’t have a real way to annoy him. Just like a worm in a fruit, the thought that - maybe - his meeting with Tsukishiro could be real invaded his mind.

He bit his lip. No way in hell would he give him the satisfaction of -

“Did you really get a signed copy?”

Dazai nodded. “There are even small annotations in it, it’s really cute.”

“Did you steal it?”

“Wow, even for a slug you’re really slow. I told you I met him yesterday.”

“No way in hell am I believing you.”

“If you don’t, ask to Ango and Odasaku they were with me.”

Now that was interesting. Oda Sakunosuke often followed Dazai’s shenanigans without even noticing but Prof Specs didn’t. The guy was far too stuck up. Chuuya even doubted he knew what a joke was.

“Give me Sakaguchi’s number.”

“As you wish ~”

He quickly dialed it. “Sakaguchi Ango, how can I help you?” A very tired voice answered.

Did the guy even sleep?

“Hey, prof Specs, I just wanted to know something.”

“Nakahara-kun, let me guess, Dazai-kun told you about our meeting with Tsukishiro-san.”

“He did, that’s bullshit, right?”

“Not at all. I was as surprised as you are - for such a young kid to be a writer - but yes, we did meet him.”

“Understood, thanks.”

Behind him, he could hear Dazai snort as he hanged up.

That’s all that was needed for him to explode.

“Why the hell did it have to be you !? I hope you didn’t bother - nevermind, it‘s you, of course you bothered him.”

“How mean. I acted like a perfect gentleman, look, he only wrote nice things : “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Dazai-san. I hope we’ll meet again soon.”’

“That’s bullshit.”

“How mean, if you keep acting that way I won’t introduce you to each other.”

“Do you think I care ?” He yelled.

“O I think you do. That’s why I’m going to milk this situation for all it’s worth.” The asshole smiled.

“Try it if you dare, I’ll fucking punch you in the face.”

“As if you can. Chibi is far too predictable.”

“Let’s see if you still think after I sent you in a wall.”

“I’m so sca-”

Before Dazai could give his usual snarky answer, Chuuya jumped toward him, ready to turn his threats into actions.

In a quick step to the side, Dazai managed to avoid him.

It only resulted in a broken wall.

“You’re such a violent little dwarf.”

“Shut the fuck up !”

“Make me.”

“Well if you’re asking for-”

“WHAT DO YOU BOTH THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

A beautiful almost ethereal woman entered the training in furious steps. Her face as red with anger as her kimono.

“Ane-san, he started it !”

“What ? Already having memory troubles at your age. It’s obviously your fault, slug.”

“I’m not the one who bro-”

“Stop acting like children right now ! I want you to clean this mess and this place better be in a perfect place when I come back. Am I being clear?”

“I’m an executive, you can’t give me orders anymore, Ane-san.”

“I have a meeting to attend to, Ane-san.”

“I said : Am I clear?” She repeated, the usual glow which usually announced Golden Demon’s apparition all around her.

Dazai and Chuuya, being the brave soul they were, both reacted as they usually did in this kind of situation.

“Yes, Ane-san.” They chorused.

“That’s what I thought. Start cleaning.”

After two hours of work, Atsushi walked home a bag full of exercises to do for their next meeting. His brain was fuzzy in the best way possible. For a kid who had never been to a real school, this situation could almost be called heavenly.

His thoughts were interrupted by big drops on his face. It was still raining a lot and the bad weather had even gained in intensity. On his way, he crossed the shopping arcade. Because of the meteorological conditions, there was hardly anyone here. A strange mist had even started to spread all around. Clap.

Clap.

The sound of expensive shoes touching the ground.

Atsushi turned back.

No one…

Yet he could smell it. A sweet but metallic scent which spread like a toxic cloud. Where did the smell of blood come from?

He kept walking, his footsteps faster despite his tentative to remain calm.

I’m being paranoid, there is no one. Just breathe.

A soft chuckle.

He looked behind him but still nothing. What…

He froze.

A few meters away stood a man he had never seen before with long white hair and red eyes.

“So I have finally found you.” It was but a mere whisper yet still hit him like a thunderclap.

The beast inside of him ordered him to run away but his body no longer obeyed him. It was only when the man was so close he could almost distinguish his teeth, that energy suddenly came back to him.

He had a distinguishable expression of pure bliss on his face. As if seeing Atsushi was the single greatest event of his life. Like he couldn’t wait to destroy him.

It was all he needed to get the control of his body back.

He ran.

His hands still reeking of cleaning products, Dazai Osamu stood in front of his boss’ office. Washing the training area had been quite an annoying task especially with Chuuya trying to drop water on him every second.

“You can come in, Dazai-kun.” A sickeningly sweet voice announced.

To anyone who didn’t know his owner, it almost could have passed for a caring father’s tone. However, it was a widely known fact that monsters didn’t have emotions.

Dazai knew it from first-hand experience.

He went in.

“You wanted to see me, Boss.”

“Thank you for coming so quickly.” As if he had the choice. “A rather… concerning fact came to my attention not too long ago.”

“Is it about Kinoshita Kin’s health?”

“Indeed, one of my spies informed him he had met an unfortunate end.”  

Kinoshita had been one of the most well-known ability user of Yokohama. Not because of his power but thanks to his fortune. The man was so rich it literally made salivate all gangs which were desperate to develop.

“They’ll want to get the hand on his money.”

“Glad you understand, Dazai-kun. I hope you know what it means.”

So much money would lead organisations on the warpath. It would eventually disturb the Port mafia’s business which they couldn’t allow.

“I’ll make sure my subordinates are ready to act when things start heating up.”

“It should be fine, I tasked the Colonel to take care of it but you never know what might happen so be ready, Dazai-kun. I also want you to take Chuuya-kun in your team for the time being, you’ll have to work together if things don’t go our way.”

Damn it. Why was this slug everywhere?

The colonel, a codename given to an executive who had once been part of the military, was known as one of the most powerful ability user (apart from the gremlin) so it should be fine. Why did he have to bother with Chuuya for the timebeing?

“Understood, Boss.”

“Don’t make such a debjected face, Chuuya-kun and you get along so well !”

They obviously had quite a different definition of the expression “get along” but whatever.

“I’ll go back to my duties then.”

“So soon. Don’t leave, Dazai-kun ! Elise-chan went to see Kouyou-kun and I’m so lonely right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear it but I have work.”

“So go take care of it and have a nice day !”

“I will, boss.”

He’ll never understand why Mori insisted on keeping his amiable mask in front of him.

Atsushi was franctically looking for his phone.

The man was still following him, he could feel it.  Although his silhouette had faded, his dark obsessive presence hadn’t. The tiger jostled in his mind, ordering him to let him gain control.

His phone seemed to have transformed into water. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t grab it.

Finally, with a shaky sob he managed to catch it.

He quickly opened it and called the first number he found. The only ones were from people he knew he could trust : Kunidika, his grandmother and …

“Nakajima, what’s wrong?”

He had totally forgotten about Oda-san.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to call-”

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. Did you need anything?”

He quickly bit back the sob who desperately wanted to split his throat apart. He didn’t want to worry the adult.

“Tell me where you are. I’m coming.”

“You don’t need to-”

“Nakajima. Tell me where you are.”

“Oniyuri street. In the alley close to the clothes shop.”

“I’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Th- Thank you.”

Why was he so nice toward him ? He didn’t deserve it.

An awful, insidious feeling grew in his stomach. The mist kept coming closer from him like tendrils. A relentless predator who wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what.

Flashbacks from the orphanage resurfaced.

Don’t let anyone touch you, it’ll only lead to pain.

He sank into the alleyway.

His heart beat loudly in his ears. The pressure was unbearable. As if every part of his body wanted to break his skin. He couldn’t even feel his tears fall out his eyes.

Hands suddenly grabbed his arms.

On instinct, he kicked the one who had caught him. His eyes jolted upside.

“It’s me, Nakajima.”

“O-Oda-san. I’m so sorry.”

God, he really was pathetic, wasn’t he? Panicking for nothing and kicking the one he had called for help.

“Don’t worry, it’s alright. Can you stand?”

His legs shook like those of a crazy puppet. No doubt he’d fall if he even tried.

“Stay still. I’m going to help you.”

As careful as possible, he carried Atsushi almost cradling him.

Why are his hands so warm? Atsushi wondered, his mind fuzzy.

“I’m going to bring you to your flat. Can you tell me where it is?”

Atsushi nodded.

Oda’s face was contorted with worry. So he sometimes did give up his cold expression.

A hand softly parted away the sweaty bangs stuck to his face.

“Everything will be alright.”

“Thank you.”

No one had ever touched him in such a kind manner. He both wanted to run away and to never let go.

As Oda went out of the alleyway, carrying the young kid as carefully as he could, his eyes moved to the muddy ground. The rain had washed every trace of people’s move yet…

Footprints stood in front of him. Far too big to belong to a kid and too unfamiliar to be his. Far too recent since they had barely started fading.  

Someone was here.

[boueibu-valentines]

Creator: @my-yuujin Recipient: @chuuugs Characters/Pairings: Atsushi/En Comment: I do not usually write fanfic even in my native language, so this may be an embarrassing gift to give🙈 Please forgive any grammar/spellings mistakes and weird sentences you may found in this very short story.

———-

“Wow! It looks delicious, Atsushi-senpai!!” exclaimed Yumoto, sparkling eyes staring blithely at the inside of the lunch box Atsushi showed them. The youngest boy of the bunch cocked his head, deeply breathing in the delicious smell.

“Hey, now! You will drop your drool all over the brownies!” Atsushi drifted away the box from Yumoto’s hungry nose.  “Aren’t we going to eat this with everyone in the club?”

“I guess it’s for Valentine’s Day, is it, Senpai?” Io asked politely. The pale green haired boy unusually tucked away his smartphone, which screen was always full of complicated graphics regarding his activity of trading stocks. “I heard that heart-shaped pink brownies are being popular these days.”

“Yeah…, my sister told me that too,” Atsushi admitted as he arranged the brownies onto the plate. “I’m not really used to baking. She pretty much helped me with this, so I can say I’m quite confident on its taste.”

“Hm! You’re right!” Taking a bite of a piece, Ryuu agreed. “It tastes as good as the ones I received from my girls!”

“I love how it has both strawberry and chocolate flavors at the same time!” Yumoto pointed out. He gobbled up the brownie piece in one bite, and soon craved for another one. “Even though I’m still wondering if someday I can have An-chan’s riceball-flavored chocolate for Valentine.”

“That’s some absurd chocolate you’re fancying, Yumoto,” commented Ryuu with a sweatdrop.

“But still…,” Io talked after he’s done eating one piece. “It’s really a shame that Yufuin-senpai can’t try your chocolate, Kinugawa-senpai.”

“Now that you mention it, Yufuin-senpai is absent today because of cold, isn’t he?” supported Ryuu. “Though it’s sort of rare for him to suddenly get sick like that.”

Atsushi didn’t deny that.

“For someone who’s neither energetic, nor taking care of himself properly, En-chan had always been pretty healthy. That makes him being in bad condition kind of worrying….”

“So you’re planning to give him a visit after school?” reckoned Io.

Atsushi nodded. “I have to give him today’s lesson notes, too. Though…I doubt he’ll read them at all….”

“Rather than the notes, I bet Yufuin-senpai will be happier if you bring him your chocolate!” convinced Ryuu.

“You’re right,” Io complied. “It tastes this good, after all.”

“What is it? Visiting En-chan-senpai?” Yumoto suddenly butted in. “Count me in!”

Ryuu and Io jolted at Yumoto’s idea.

“No…, Yumoto! You don’t understand…! The point is…,” Ryuu struggled to explain, that he and Io wanted both of their senpai to be alone.

“That reminds me, Yumoto. Don’t you have to help Goura-san cleaning your family’s bath house today?” Io cut in

“Ugh…that’s right…. I completely forgot…!” Yumoto sighed in disappointment.

Atsushi smiled and patted the youngest boy’s head.

“Don’t worry, Yumoto. I’ll give En-chan your regards,” Atsushi turned to Io and Ryuu. “How about you two? Do you want to go visiting En-chan too?”

“Uh…we are…,” Ryuu was glancing around, looking for good excuse to refuse.

Io put up his right hand. “I’m sorry, Kinugawa-senpai. I have to spend my evening to arrange my investment strategy and some other stuffs.”

“M-me too!” followed Ryuu. “I have promised my new girlfriend to try some new cafe after school. So….”

“Well, that can’t be helped, then,” Atsushi smiled understandingly. “I guess I’ll go alone.”

“It’s fine, Senpai. Yufuin-senpai must need a good rest,” Io gave another good point. “The less people go, the better.”

.

.

.

Catching cold was always annoying. Especially when you didn’t usually catch one. Headache, sore throat, stuffy nose…. And worst of them, everything would taste terrible.

En buried his face in his pillow, rolling from side to another side of his bed, trying to find comfortable position to sleep. Exhausted, he finally settled by curling his body under blanket, sleeping without any pillow comforting his dizzy head.

En found himself waking up when the sun was almost setting. That meant he had almost slept for almost three hours. His pajamas drenched in sweat, and he felt terribly thristy. Reaching for a nightstand, he clucked tounge as he found the bottles on it were all empty.

In the end I’ll have to walk to get some water… En rose to sit, sighing lazily. How troublesome….

“Hm?”

En’s eyes rounded for realizing something wet fell from his forehead to his lap.

A towel?

He didn’t remember having that being put on his forehead before he fell asleep.

“Ah, En-chan! You’re already up?”

A familiar voice came from the door’s direction. Someone still wearing school uniform, was bringing in a tray with two steamy bowls on it.

“Atsushi?”

“Yeah…, I was asked by teacher to give you today’s note,” Atsushi put the tray on a round low table near En’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Not so good,” Eh shrugged. “And I’m hungry.”

“I know,” Atsushi helplessly chuckled.  “Just by looking your miserable figure sleeping on the bed, I knew you hadn’t eaten anything today.”

“Too troublesome to cook and eat,” answered En, which didn’t surprise Atsushi at all. Even when he’s fit, he wouldn’t move too much. Let alone when he’s sick.

“Well, I made you some chicken soup,” Atsushi turned to the tray he had brought in. “Eat up and don’t forget to have your medicine.”

En stared at the dish. Warm rice and simple soup consisting shredded chicken, sliced carrots, green onions, and bok choy. The broth smelled delicious. It was a shame that it wasn’t apparent to En because of his stuffy nose. But since it was Atsushi, En still could bet that it must taste good.

While En was eating, Atsushi remembered that he also brought En some melon.

“I’ll cut it for you,” said Atsushi. “Or do you prefer it to be juiced?”

En sticked up his thumb with his free hand. “I’d have the melon juice.”

So Atsushi walked out and left En alone in his room.  En could hear Atsushi‘s busyness in the kitchen as he cut and blended the melon. It sounded to take some time.

While inhaling the soup, En realized that Atsushi left his bag open in En’s room. At first, En didn’t really mind it, until he noticed a suspicious transparent little package containing some pieces of pink and brown.

En left his food to check on the package, and found out that the pink and brown things were actually some chocolate candies.

Right…, today is valentine, isn’t it? En pondered. Then, this must be for me, I guess….

En had enough reasons to believe that. The candies’ package was too plain to be a special gift from a girl. Even if it was just for obligatory chocolate. Besides, that wouldn’t likely to be one, since their school was all-boys.

En heard Atsushi ‘s sandals rubbed against the floor, heading towards his room. The blond quickly returned the chocolate to its place and fixed his position back to holding his chopsticks and rice bowl.

Well, it’s no good to take someone’s belonging from their bag, even if it’s actually a gift for you. I’ll pretend not to know and let Atsushi himself to give that to me.

Atsushi came with a glass on his hand.

“Here, the melon juice you wanted, En-chan,” he said, setting it on the table.

“Thanks.”

Atsushi approached his bag and put it on his shoulder. Good thing that he didn’t realize that En had zipped closed the bag he’d left open after getting En’s notes out.

“You wanna go already?” En held back his surprised tone.

Atsushi nodded. “I have to change my clothes and take bath after all. Don’t worry. I will be back here soon…, if you think you’ll still need me. But I guess your parents will be home tonight, won’t they?”

En didn’t answered. Instead, he quietly asked, “Say, Atsushi…did you get or give something for Valentine today?”

Atsushi blinked. That’s sure not something that En would usually ask. 

“No, I didn’t receive anything,” Atsushi replied honestly. “What’s the matter with that?”

En put his still half-filled bowl down, followed by his chopsticks. The next moment, the blond crawled back to his bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong, En-chan? Why didn’t you finish your meal?”

“I’ll soon finish it when I get my appetite back,” En’s voice was heard from under the blanket he’s engulfing himself with.

“And you’re still not taking your medicine either…!”

“I’ll take it after dinner.”

“En-chan…!”

“My parent will be home early,” En said flatly. “You don’t have to accompany me tonight. I’ll be fine by myself.”

Atsushi, of course, with En being like that, didn’t just buy what his best friend told him.

“Are you alright, En-chan? Did the soup taste bad? I can make the new one for you, while it’s still not too late to buy groceries…”

“No, the soup was fine,” En replied quickly. “I just wanted to be alone.”

“You’re acting weird, En-chan! Is it because of some monster again…” Atsushi walked closer and yanked the blanket off En’s head.  The eyes behind those glasses widened as they found tears on the corner of En’s cerulean eyes.

“En…cha—“

“Geez, just leave me alone, would you?!” En snatched his blanket from Atsushi, and covered his whole body with it.

Atsushi stared silently at the bulge under the blanket.

“Are you mad about something, En-chan?”

No answer.

“I won’t leave until you tell me what is wrong,” Atsushi stated as he took a seat on the bed’s edge.

Still no answer.

“Did I do something that makes you angry?”

The bulge of the blanket didn’t even move—

“Actually…, about chocolate, I did make some brownies for Valentine’s Day.”

—until Atsushi said that.

“I brought some to school, but Yumoto and the others ended up eating them all….”

The lock on En’s lips got loose.

“But I found a package of chocolate in your bag.”

“Eh, really?”

Atsushi immediately checked inside his bag. He jolted in surprise when he found exactly like En had said.

“This is…?”

“Is it for Kusat—“

“It’s the chocolate candies my sister made herself yesterday!” Atsushi exclaimed. “She made these using the leftover chocolate we got after making the brownies. She told me it’s obligatory chocolate for her friends. So why was it inside my bag?”

En quietly peeked, “Your sister?”

“Was my sister trying to prank me?” Atsushi mused in suspicion. Even though his sister did give him obligatory chocolate every year, she always gave the chocolate directly without warping it.

This year, Kinugawa siblings had made their chocolate together. Naturally, Atsushi himself had eaten some of the chocolate, and regarded it as his yearly obligatory gift. He’d never expected to get another one from his sister.

“Atsushi,“ En came out from his hiding, cracking Atsushi’s musing. “Stay here.”

Atsushi blinked at the sudden change in En’s behavior. “Didn’t you tell me to leave some minutes ago?”

“I was wrong. Sorry,” En’s reply was quick. He’s now sitting on his bed, lowering his head toward Atsushi in apology.

Atsushi rounded his mouth, before trying to guess, “Don’t tell me…, you was restless because of the chocolate candies you found in my bag?”

En pouted a little, and shifted his gaze. “No, i just thought that you were lying to me about not getting any chocolate. That’s all.”

Atsushi smiled to hide his chuckles. “Well, I’d be glad to stay. But you do understand that I need to change clothes and take a bath, right? I’ll be back here after I’m done with―”

“Take your bath here.”

“Eh?”

“What? You have once had bath in my house when we were in middle school, right? Our bathroom doesn’t change that much, to the point you can’t use it anymore.”

Atsushi waved his hand in denial, “No, no, that not the problem. I still need to change clothes and―”

“You can wear mine.”

“But, En-chan…! Your parents will be home soo―”

“Ah. I was lying about that. They won’t be home until tomorrow. Sorry.”

“What?” Atsushi raised his voice a bit. “You’re worried about me lying to you, but you too were lying to me?”

“Like I said, I’m sorry….”

Atsushi sighed, “You’re so helpless En-chan…. If anything, isn’t that you who need to take a bath and change clothes right now? Your pajama’s drenched with sweat.”

“Then we can take bath together,” En rose from his bed and shrugged off his pajamas. The next moment, the blond lifted Atsushi from the bed’s edge onto his shoulder.

“Wait! En-chan! I thought you’re sick?!” Atsushi struggled. Where did he get so much strength to lift me around?

“It’s because you’re too light!” shot En, as if he could read Atsushi’s mind.

“Wait, if we take bath together, you’ll end up passing your cold to me!” Atsushi still tried to convince En.

“Then we will have cold together.”

“En-chaaan!!!”

“You’re the worst, En-chan. If I really end up getting cold because of this―”

“Are you gonna sue me?” En replied as he rubbed his nose against Atsushi’s naked nape.  “I can sue you for not providing me some Valentine’s chocolate too, you know.”

The shorter boy who wasn’t wearing his glasses now, sighed, as he was tracing his hands against En’s wet arms enveloping him from behind.

“That’s not my fault. I actually planned to go home, to fetch the leftover brownies I have in my fridge and give them to you. But since you forced me to stay here….“

“Well…,” En moved his chin onto Atsushi right shoulder. “To be honest, it’ll be pointless if my chocolate is just the same as the ones for Yumoto and the others.”

Atsushi chuckled as he felt En’s lips marking a kiss on him. “So… En-chan want to get a serious chocolate from me, huh?”

The kiss changed into a light lick, as En whispered deeply.

“You are my serious chocolate, Atsushi.”

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

BnHA 49 - 50 | Hinamatsuri 11 - 12 (FINAL) | MSO 12 (FINAL) | Boueibu HK 10 - 11 | Rokuhoudou 11

BnHA 49

“Tsukauchi…All Might…” – Come to think of it, what is Tsukauchi doing at this moment in time, anyway?

“…the ones who are smiling are the strongest.” – This reminds me of what Atro Spyker said in Rokka no Yuusha…“If you want to be strong, smile! He who can smile, even when he's so sad that he wants to die, when it's so painful that he wants to give it all up and run away, is the one who becomes strong.”

Why is there a person wearing a LLENN cap in the crowd, anyway? Is that intentional?

“What is with that pitiful back?!” – You can really see parallels between Bakugo and Izuku now between Endeavour and All Might…hmm.

Gran Torino in his prime…looks like Knuckleduster from Vigilantes somewhat.

Interestingly, the word daikokubashira (central pillar) comes to mind with all this talk about pillars. Normally I’d use that word in conjunction with a nuclear family and apparently the word can be used in a more literal sense with a house. However, in both cases, All Might is the pillar to the structure he made with society itself. Now that he’s pretty much done for, it’s like a Jenga game’s end. Everything falls apart. (Hey, I have a post on this topic in progress! Probably shouldn’t have mentioned all this…)

Hypertrophy.

All for One looks…normal when he’s dead. I thought he was creepy when he was still up and about, but now I’m no longer afraid. Ha…haha…

Hey, it’s Uwabami! Haven’t seen her in a while.

Oh, the guy in the ED is Eraserhead with his hair slung back.

Hinamatsuri 11

One more episode until we have to say goodbye to this show…I really liked it while it was around.

Isn’t Rairaiken the name of the Chinese restaurant Anzu works at…?

Wait, so Nitta’s sister knows karate?! What?! Why didn’t anyone mention that earlier?!

This scene with the ashtray reminds me of Nitta’s senpai, although I forgot what the senpai’s name is…wasn’t he in the previous episode though? I really do have a terrible memory sometimes, huh?

“Is he really just a regular nice guy?”

It’s basically the Ember Island Players all over again! Hahaha…

Hina’s shirt says doutoku. The only kanji combo I could get for that means “morals” or “morality”.

What’s up with the line about yaks, anyway?

Hina’s shirt says sugosugi = “too awesome”. Then it said “haha”, which could mean her mother…but I think it’s more the English meaning, out of context.

I’d read in an interview on Seiyuu+ that “Anzu is an angel” and that Nitta wanted to keep Anzu instead of Hina, but I never thought it meant either so literally…

“Reality (Hina) is coming home.” – LOL!

What…? Hina’s gone missing, in the mountains? What if Ikaruga took her??? Oh dear…

Boueibu HK 10

Well, there ain’t nothing more manly than sleeping in nothing but your birthday suit on a futon…right? (kidding)

I laughed so hard at Kyoutarou sneezing. The “person’s drowning” trope for fanservice at least goes back to 2004 or so – DN Angel (the anime, I believe) did it, I definitely remember that.

Poor Kyoutarou is being used as a demo dummy in this set of illustrations, LOL.

Everyone’s using the phrase nechatta, which holds some interesting implications. You see, the meaning of chatta means either completion…or the fact the action being done has negative implications. In this case, it’s both.

I think Kyoutarou called Karurusu “Karuru” or “Karu” or something.

Turtle-kun is so smol, I wanna cuddle him!

Hey, even the subs use “Martha” now…I’m so confused, still.

The word the old men want is “monster” (kaijin), but then the other word they thought of was katsukare- (pork cutlet curry), so I can see why the word was bent out of shape like that now. Notably, Karurusu didn’t age at all…

Taishi’s using the word yancha (naughty), which basically confirms he was a delinquent when he was younger. Just in a very roundabout way.

Notably, Nanao hasn’t stopped drinking tea after all those years, and Karurusu seems to have a very very long lifespan if he comments on it like that…

Inago = locust. Ichigo = strawberry. The former is correct (it’s in katakana, so there’s one stroke’s difference between na and chi).

Wow…spoilers told me I should’ve seen that coming, but watching old men transform is not my gig, so thank goodness I was spared from that ordeal…

Hey, we’re back to our old tradition of dark skies for the finale…although we didn’t have that in s2, eh?

They don’t even have voice roles for smol!Ata, Ryoma and Kyoutarou! That’s unfair!

The reason we all call the show “Boueibu” is because the staff did it first…so here’s (the next ep preview) just some extra proof of that.

MSO 12 (FINAL)

Noticeably, Yamo uses the word taoshite (to collapse), so literally his demand is to “make me collapse”…it’s a bit weird to translate it like that, which is probably why the subbers went with a different translation.

What did Mohiro ever do to be hurt like this, anyway? He doesn’t deserve to be hurt, Yamo…dangit. This is why you can’t be MVP anymore.

More montages…*sigh*

What the-orbefjvpenfp, Hyoue?! Don’t ruin the moment, regardless of whether it constitutes yaoi or not!

So…uh, somehow demons are talked about in terms of code? Y’see, this is why you need a good garbage collector.

I love how they were just called “The Hyoue Squad”, even though this show is called “Mahou Shoujo Ore”.

Gah! Anime-original characters steal the spotlight again…well, there goes my hopes for a good MSO ending, eh?

To think that Michiru’s male form is voiced by Kisho Taniyama – the guy who voiced Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) – though…I still don’t match those voices with each other in my head, y’know.

…and somehow they were in Tokyo Tower. Of course, because Tokyo is the centre of the universe (sarcastic).

The thing about this show is that it’s so off-the-wall it doesn’t quite make emotional moments work, even ones like Yamo’s final handshake…sure, it kind of hit me in the feels because I’ve known this series for longer than some people, but not really…if you get what I mean.

I think Astral was thinking about this during one of the other episodes, but…they’re only bringing the topic of who Ore is to Michiru now??? Wuh???

The experience of this show wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be in the beginning, but it wasn’t the most perfect thing either. I would rather they have done more filler with Saki and Sakuyo instead of coming up with anime-original characters to fill the gaps, but I’m also fine with what we got in the end...it’s a complex set of feelings that I don’t think I’ll ever get over. Anyways, that’s another show over and done. See you next time!

Rokuhoudou 11

Demi-glace.

Gotta love Sui’s Gendo poses! By the way, ponzu is some kind of citrus sauce.

This isn’t a particularly standout OP, but I might miss it for a week or two after this show’s end…I don’t want this show to end, actually. But as they say, be careful what you wish for.

(I still have no idea why they say “girls be ambitious” in the OP when the main stars are dudes…)

You might’ve noticed the one I like best from Rokuhoudou is Tokitaka. His voice, his hair, his caring nature (as demonstrated here with the old people), his ability to cook great food…*sighs dreamily* what a man he is!

You might not know this is you haven’t read the character pages for the show, but Tokitaka runs a pottery class. That’s why Osada and co. call him “Sensei”.

“Nagae”? I’ve never seen Sui refer to Tokitaka by his last name before! This is really something!

Oh dear, more Hotel East Side…notably, Osada is using very polite words (keigo) since she’s not really familiar with Sui.

There’s a shot where the light from the window streams on to Sui and you can’t tell if he’s wearing a kimono or a business suit…ooh, that must be symbolic in some way, y’know?

Mirin is a type of alcohol.

Rokuhoudou keeps surprising its customers…I wonder if I, as a blogger, can keep surprising people that way too…then I’d be set for life.

So that’s how Tokitaka uses unused stuff from his classes (using them at the Rokuhoudou)?! Wow, didn’t see that coming!

Osada looked like she was gonna cry, and that almost made me cry for a second!

“My father built East Side Grande.” – *spits out half-eaten food* Holy shiitake mushrooms! Rokuhoudou is best enjoyed with food, but if I keep spitting it out, I’m going to have to clean up around here…(kidding)

I didn’t even realise half the episode had gone so quickly! Yipes!

Hinamatsuri 12 (FINAL)

“It’s snow big deal.” – I get the feeling it was meant to have a pun in Japanese, but I don’t hear one when I listen to the audio…

Oh, there’s no Utako at the end of the OP! I kept skipping it, so that’s why I never knew…

Interestingly, the yuki is in kanji and the rest is in hiragana, which probably means it has to be a riff on the show’s name and not referring to any particular snow festival in particular.

Wait, forcible shipping? C’mon, they’re 13! That just lowered my opinion of the show somewhat.

Doesn’t this remind you of when Mao got stranded on the island and then made Hina go “Feed me”? She was on the ball after all…

Geez, that kid on the left (either Kengo or the other guy) is sadistic…

“Although you’ll be getting a roe deal.” – This was a pun on ikura (salmon roe)…although I can’t tell exactly how the pun works…

Is this Namahage Town, or what? What is up with all the namahage puns? Can someone tell me???

Wait, if credits are appearing here, then why is there half an episode left…?

Montage time…*sigh*

Why did a shot of Anzu appear (LOL)?

The yakuza guys are still watching that documentary?! What (LOL)?!

The horse seems to be called Eiyon Size…or something like that.

Hey, I think it was pretty accurate for “Oi, get your hands off her!” or “Oi, young man, don’t touch her!” in Chinese…or something like that. It is pretty garbled though…

LOL, Atsushi’s screaming in English though…”Mayonnaise is Atsushi!”

The monk’s name is Shinyhead (LOL)!

Ehh? Ain’t this the same scene from the beginning? Aw man, don’t make it like DN Angel…

“Watashi no smartphone ga!” Gets me every time, man.

In the end, Pruny Shinyhead just wants money, eh?...Haha.

Wait, so Pruny Shinyhead is like Mao like the boss man to Hina, huh?

That’s an actual plane company written on the side of that plane! Lufthansa! (The writing gets cut off when it’s at its most visible, though.)

So…in the end, we don’t discover what happened to Hina and Anzu three years later. Read the manga…I get it. *sigh*

BnHA 50

Noticeably, the sign says “stop!” in katakana.

I read on the wiki Shouto’s sister is called Fuyumi. That makes sense if she has an ice quirk like her mother (fuyu = winter).

“I can’t accept it. Not like this…” - Once again, you can see Bakugo in Endeavour…

Yap! (Yahoo!) News, LOL. The site doesn’t even bother parodying the purple or other style things about Yahoo!, though.

They…actually told us what happened to Ragdoll and Best Jeanist? That’s kinda sad, y’know?

Jiro’s parents are rockers? Well…that makes a lot of sense, actually.

Didn’t Brian the Sun do…yep, BnHA ED 1!

I’ve never seen a kid embarrass their dad before. It’s amazing…and so fresh.

Wow, Bakugo’s mum is…really something else. She’s got exactly the same temperament, I wonder how that family functions…

Midoriya’s shirt says “dress shirt”, LOL!

Inko’s feelings for Izuku resonated so strongly with me, I nearly cried…nearly.

I just realised…that computer in the flashback is a Windows 10. It’s got the menu and everything!

Wait…there’s an extra bit after the credits! The credits are way too long! Keep watching, keep watching…

Tartarus…? Like Alcatraz or something?

Hmm…in a lot of stories, the mentor dies. Here, the mentor doesn’t die. Good point, All for One.

Boueibu HK 11

Can I stop screaming “No duh!” every time they say “This is bad!”?

Manza the delinquent is exposed!

They’re attaching –san to the end of people’s magical aliases! Fabulous, if I do say so myself.

“We’ll stand up again and again!” – Uh, Karurusu? Kyoutarou’s sitting down…(LOL)

And…skip the transformation sequence again…and skip the purification sequence again…*sigh*

Notably, the kanji word on the wall not too far away from the pictures is “hope”.

*screams* My LOVE! boys! They’re back! (I knew they were coming because spoilers said they would, but this…this is wonderful…)

“…fail to realise…”

This entire conflict…it really is Kin-chan all over again.

This pink pigeon…is adorable! Like Turtle-kun last episode!

You can clearly see a purple hand (paw?) taking Kamopapa away, which is clearly Wao, that scoundrel of a lemur.

*voice caught in throat as Karurusu cries* Karurusu…don’t cry…

Does this mean the thing Ata wanted all along…was a handshake?

The next ep preview says "Danger is approaching King Kamopapa! Now isn't the time to be arguing!", by the way.

[asheepbyanyothername]

Myself, Here and Now

En didn’t often think about the fact that he’d been on intergalactic television, twice. It wasn’t for any reason other than that he didn’t care. What happened in the past was in the past, more or less. He was much more of a “live in the moment” kind of person.

That didn’t mean that he never thought about it, though.

It was weird that it had happened, but it was even weirder that nobody had noticed. How were the hidden cameras placed? Who (or what) had placed them? Were there invisible camera crews following them around? Weren’t you supposed to sign wavers or something to be on reality shows? Who kept allowing Zundar to have access to television production equipment and staff?

He’d asked Wombat once before, out of curiosity, but either he really didn’t know anything important, or he was good at pretending like he didn’t. En was willing to bet on the latter, mainly because Wombat didn’t seem like a creature who dealt in specifics.

That had been a while ago, and the thought hadn’t passed his mind until Yumoto, tired of sitting around in the club room doing nothing, started asking the Beppu twins about an upcoming concert of theirs.

“Eh, another concert?” Atsushi asked. “I figured you two would want to take a break.”

“This isn’t an entire tour, just a single concert,” Akihiko replied.

“It’s way less than our typical workload. Concert tours, recording, filming commercials and PVs…” Haruhiko said, ticking the items off on his fingers as he said them.

“Uwaaa, being an idol seems like a lot of work!” Yumoto exclaimed, clearly awestruck.

“The schedule is a bit difficult,” Akihiko said.

“And all the traveling can be stressful,” Haruhiko added.

“But it has its perks,” they both said in unison. Sometimes En wondered if they were telepathic. It would explain a lot.

“What about the restrictive contracts?” the President asked, but the tone of his voice indicated that he wasn’t particularly interested in the conversation. Part of that was probably because of the stack of official looking papers that he was rifling through, but he also wasn’t a fan of idle conversations. Or the Beppus. Which had confused En at first; out everyone in their group, the President and the Beppus were probably the closest in terms of personality. Thinking about it now, that was likely the root cause of the problem.

The President had assured En that he was working on it.

“The contracts are pretty strict.”

“And you can be penalized heavily for breaking them.”

“Really?!” Yumoto was so easily impressed, it was endearing, in a way.

“Hey,” En said, “you two are idols, so you would know a lot about show business, right?”

“Clearly they would,” the President replied drily. En scowled, and Atsushi made an apologetic face. Arima, who had been content to remain in the background up until this point, very unsuccessfully tried to stifle his laughter.

“Anyway, I have a question,” En continued. “How exactly does this all work? You guys have to sign contracts to make appearances and be on tv, right?”

“Yes. It’s a lot of boring legal paperwork, and Dadacha usually did most of it,” Akihiko explained. “Why? No offense-”

“-but you’re hardly the idol type,” Haruhiko finished. That got another stifled laugh out of Arima; he seemed to enjoy personal jabs at En a little too much. He’d have to look into that later.

“Right, well, first of all, whatever you say after ‘no offense’ is probably gonna be offensive anyway, so you might as well omit that in the future. And second, I was asking because, as far as I know, we never signed any contracts.”

“You’re right, we didn’t,” said Atsushi. “We didn’t give consent to be on any kind of program. Our rights were infringed upon.”

“Oh, yeah, that too,” En said.

“En-chan, what do you mean, ‘that too’? Isn’t that why you were bringing up the contracts?” Atsushi asked.

“Ah, no, not really.”

“Then what was the reason?”

“Assuming there is a reason,” the President said. Arima didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t laughing this time.

“It’s like you’re a robot whose only setting is ‘patronizing’,” En huffed. The President shot him a disapproving look.

“Please don’t start,” Atsushi said.

“Back to the point at hand…” Akihiko said, gesturing with his hand.

“Yeah, the point. So, not to be an Io or anything, but should we be expecting a paycheck from the CIDE people or not?”

True to form, Io did in fact perk up at the mention of a paycheck, which effectively ended the conversation he’d been having with Ryuu and Gero. All three turned to join the bigger conversation; before Io could chime in, Ryuu said, “Why would we get paid? Weren’t we technically supposed to be defeated or something?”

“Even if you play the villain, you still got hired to play the role, didn’t you? If you participated, you would expect to get paid,” Gero replied.

“I guess you’d know about playing villains, eh, Gero?”

“If memory serves, during my season, you were the antagonists, weren’t you?”

“Technically you were our villains too,” Haruhiko muttered under his breath.

“Who was trying to take over the world?!” Ryuu asked, indignant.

Gero shrugged. “It got good ratings.”

“Can you two please stop joking about that?” Kinshirou cut in.

Ryuu and Gero had the decency to look sheepish, which placated the President enough that he went back to ignoring everyone.

“Hmmm,” Akihiko said. “I guess it’s complicated.”

“You didn’t actually sign a contract, but they didn’t tell you about the show at all, did they?” Haruhiko said.

“At the least, they probably owe you some kind of compensation. You did participate, after all.”

“I’d get my lawyers to look into that if I were you.”

En and Atsushi gave the pair blank stares.

“…Not that you have lawyers.” Haruhiko sighed in exasperation. His brother elbowed him in the arm. “I mean, we could recommend-” Another elbow. “Offer! We can offer our best lawyers.”

“That’s a…nice offer,” Atsushi said. “I don’t think we’re actually planning on suing anyone at the moment, though.”

“Oh, good,” Yumoto said. “I don’t really care about court cases and tv shows and things like that.”

“‘And things like that’…but court cases and tv shows aren’t similar things…” Ryuu said under his breath.

En watched as Haruhiko rubbed his arm and glared daggers at his brother. “Wow,” he deadpanned, “benevolence must be difficult.”

The Beppus both flushed red, though whether from anger or embarrassment, En wasn’t sure.

“Leave them alone, En-chan,” Atsushi whispered. “They’re trying.”

“I think they’ve been doing pretty good so far,” Arima added. “The rudest thing they’ve said today is that you don’t look like the idol type.”

“Yeah, about that,” En said, turning to face the other boy, “is your sense of humor defective, or do you hate me today?”

“Maybe I just find this conversation funny.”

“It’s just awfully coincidental that you laugh every time someone sends snippy comments my way, is all I’m saying.”

Arima grinned. “Like I said, it was funny.”

“I’m not really sure what Kinugawa-senpai is talking about, I’ll definitely take you up on that offer. If I don’t fight now, I’ll have done all of that work for free, and I can’t abide by that.”

“That’s Io for you,” Ryuu and Atsushi said. Maybe they were telepathic too.

“Why in the world are you scoffing? You should all be more invested in this. I’m not sure why you aren’t more interested in the conversation, President Kusatsu,” Io said.

“Yeah, out of all of us, you’re the one who probably has the biggest gripe with the studio,” Ryuu added, leaning over Io’s shoulder to look at whatever was on his tablet screen. “I’d be mad if I were you.”

Gero shot a look at the President, who’d stopped looking through his papers and was sitting motionless, and then at Arima, who shook his head discreetly. “Ah, anyway, Naruko-san, what were you saying before, about the exchange rate?”

His abrupt subject change was obvious, but Ryuu and Io only spent a moment looking slightly confused before they jumped back into their previous conversation.

En could tell the President had just about met his daily quota of tolerance, and tried to keep his tone as casual as possible. “Come on, President. You’re the type of person who writes strongly worded letter when you receive subpar customer service. This is right up your alley. You could sue for defamation of character.”

The President noticeably relaxed, if only to roll his eyes at En. “Yufuin, did you have a point in all of this? What are we even talking about?”

“Do you not know what defamation of character is?” Akihiko gave the President a puzzled look.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not an expert on Earth culture,” Akihiko continued, “but defamation of character is a thing you can take people to court for, right? People do it all the time, especially to the media. When they’re portrayed in a poor light.”

“Yes, I have a basic understanding of the judiciary system, thank you.” The President was talking in that clipped way that meant that he was fed up with a conversation. En and Atsushi exchanged a wary look.

“We’ve had to threaten paparazzi with a lawsuit a couple of times,” Haruhiko mentioned, frowning at the memory. Yumoto looked like he desperately wanted to ask about it, but sensed that now was not the time.

“Although, thinking about it, would President Kusatsu be able to sue for defamation?” Akihiko asked.

“I guess you can’t really say you were falsely portrayed on a non-scripted show,” Haruhiko replied.

“Especially one you didn’t know you were on.”

“Everything you said and did would have to be authentic.”

“So I guess you wouldn’t really be able to claim defamation.”

“No matter how badly you were portrayed.”

“…You think I was portrayed badly,” the President asked, and the temperature in the room dropped.

The Beppus looked at each other in surprise, and then at the President. “That’s not what we meant!”

“Oh, no, I completely agree. It gave a horrible impression of me.” His hand was gripping the edge of his desk so tightly that En was afraid he would break it.

“We weren’t saying that-”

The President took a deep breath, and En was sure they were about to have their ears screamed off. “It’s one thing to show me changing people into monsters, fighting my classmates, and trying to take over the world. But to show me having a heart to heart on camera? And blushing? Unforgiveable.”

“We-huh?”

“I can’t just have them portraying me however they want. I have a reputation as a stern enforcer of reason and order to uphold.” The President’s demeanor relaxed, and he casually began stacking his papers on his desk as though he’d been this laid back all along. Atsushi and Arima looked as stunned as En felt, and the Beppus looked as though they were worried that the President was waiting until their guard was lowered to attack.

“Did you just make a joke at your own expense?” En finally asked, incredulous.

“Yufuin, some of us have a sense of humor,” the President replied simply, packing his bag. Arima turned away and started laughing, which caused Atsushi to start chuckling along with him.

“None of this is even real, is it?” En said, still shocked at the turn that this had taken. “What kind of world is this? We’re suing aliens, Arima’s been possessed by a malignant hyena spirit, and Kusatsu is cracking jokes?”

“The real world, Yufuin, don’t be melodramatic.”

“This is hell, isn’t it? I’m in hell.”

Io, Ryuu, and Gero turned to look at them with concern.

“If they tell jokes in hell, it can’t be that bad, right?” Yumoto said.

“Don’t say ‘hell’, Yumoto,” Io and Ryuu said in unison.

“I’m not a little kid,” Yumoto said.

“It just doesn’t sound right,” Ryuu said. “Somehow.”

“You’re right, it’s strange coming from Hakone-kun,” Gero said.

“I mean it, I’m not a kid!”

The President looked smug, Arima and Atsushi were still laughing, En was pretty sure he was in a parallel dimension, and the Beppus made a strategic retreat from the insanity that was the club room.

                                                          ***

On the way home later that evening, En laced his fingers with the President’s and squeezed them tight.

“Kusatsu, I’m sorry.”

The President looked puzzled. “For what?”

“That conversation back there. I know you’re still sensitive about the conquest thing. I should’ve thought ahead.”

The President smiled. “That’s kind of you. I was upset, a little bit. I thought I’d try your method of diffusing a situation with humor. I suppose it worked.”

“You were upset a lot, and it worked on a technicality, but I almost had a heart attack.”

“The Beppu brothers looked as though they did too.”

“Hey, you know those two weren’t trying to hurt your feelings, right? They just…have no filter.”

“I’m aware. But I’m not mad at them.” The President smiled sadly. “It’s not their fault I was a horrible person on intergalactic television.”

En frowned. “Kusatsu, don’t.”

“Why not? I was portrayed as a horrible, cruel, spiteful person because that’s the type of person I was. And you and I both know that sometimes, that’s still the way I am.”

“You aren’t-”

“Of course I am. You don’t learn humility or sympathy overnight. You don’t just stop thinking that if only things were the way you wanted them, everything would be much better. If only people followed your vision, everything would be perfect.”

“You can’t dwell on that.”

“It’s not dwelling, it’s a fact. I’m not a nice person, or even a good person.”

“Stop it now, Kinshirou.”

The President looked up at him with glassy eyes. En pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair.

“You are dwelling. Stop living in the past, okay? I won’t argue with you about the past, but the Kusatsu Kinshirou standing here is a good person. The Kusatsu Kinshirou of the present is working hard to become an even better version of himself in the future.”

The President wrapped his arms around En tightly. “I’m trying, but it’s so hard,” he said, muffled against En’s chest.

“Wanna know a secret?” En kissed the top of the President’s head. “Becoming a better person? It’s hard for everyone, at one point or another. So forget past you. The only you that matters is the you of right now.”

“That’s not true.”

“Not with that attitude.”

That managed to elicit a chuckle, so En felt he’d won this battle.

“Just take it a day at a time, okay?”

“…I’ll try.”

“Good. Now, let’s go leave vaguely menacing messages on the Beppus’ front door.”

“Hold on a second, what happened to being a better person?”

“We’ll start that tomorrow.”

“You haven’t told me anything about the me of tomorrow.”

“Look, it was a figure of speech, and you know it. Come on.”

“You’re a bad influence.”

“I try.”

“I’m not going to leave vaguely menacing messages on any doors.”

“I know. I only said it to make you feel better.”

The President squeezed En even tighter. “I love you, Yufuin.”

“I love you too, Kusatsu.”

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Chapter VI: Mirrorverse

POV: Chuuya

(1,186 words)

I don't sleep, afraid I'll have that damn dream again.

Kouyou says the funeral is on Sunday. I don't want to go, but I feel like I should. I owe it to Akiko at the very least, for being rude. And, hey, maybe if I go I won't feel this stupid nagging guilt anymore.

-

When the sun rises, I'm so sleep deprived that I'm tempted to ask Kouyou if I can stay home today, but Kouyou might make something more out of that than I want to deal with, so I'll go.

I take a shower to wash away the weirdness, and I catch myself expecting the soap suds to be red.

-

I throw on my uniform, and head out the door. As I bike to school I wonder who'll take his spot at the top. Maybe I'll actually get better grades without him as a distraction. I will, because if any should have his spot it should be me.

When the bell rings I find myself scanning the courtyard for Mori, just to make sure he isn't going to come and bother me. But then it comes back to me, the feelings like a static shock, quick. Oh yeah, he's dead.

I hurry into the main building for English.

-

It should be relaxing, him not being here to bother me, but I keep wondering when he's going to show up and insult me, what corner he's going to pop out from behind. It makes me anxious, having these thoughts, knowing they'll never come true but still having them. Nobody is talking about it. Maybe they think he's sick. Maybe they don't pay attention. Everyone knew of him, but how many people really knew him?

After all, despite his family's status, he never had a large group of friends. In fact I never saw him hanging out with anybody, not at lunch, come to think of it, he was never even in the cafeteria, and I never saw him in the quad either. I think I saw him leaving the library once, but never again, even when I was studying there everyday for finals last year.

The bell rings and I haven't heard a single thing Professor Fitzgeral said. I'm sure this will stop after the funeral, after that my brain will surely get it that he's well and truly dead, gone forever. I suddenly want to kick something, why can't I be normal about this, I didn't even know him. It's not like I miss him, it's just strange not having him annoying me is all.

— Tuesday —

Still nothing. I don't have that dream though, so that's good.

— Wednesday — 

I hear someone whispering his name in the lunch line and I turn slightly around pretending to look at the menu board. It's that blond boy with glasses, Kumiya, and two younger students, probably 14 or so.

"You're Mori-senpai's friend, right? Do you think he's okay? I called him yesterday when he didn't show up for our tutoring session, but he didn't answer. Neither Atsushi nor Kenji have heard from him either. Naomi and I tried to visit him, in case he was sick but his sister sent us away. She's scary." The younger boy says, sounding worried.

"I don't know. I didn't know him well, we were in the tutoring club together, but we never talked. If you're looking for a tutor until he comes back, I'd be glad to help." The older boy, Kunikida, it turns out his name is, says.

"Thank you, Kunikida-senpai."

"You're welcome, I'm sure he's fine, he's like a cockroach, we won't get rid of him that easily. However, if you're really worried, why don't you ask Nakahara-san, they talk a lot. Or school counsellor Ango-san."

What? Kunikida's words make me spin around, accidently smacking him with my thankfully empty tray. He stumbles.

"Oh it's you . . ." he trails off, a little shocked.

"Why do you think I know Mori? We're not friends."

His eyes widen and he steps back, intimidated by my sudden aggression. "Well, I- Look, Mori keeps to himself, he doesn't talk to many people, so if he interacts with you, I figured it means something, I was just trying to help the Tanizakis out . . . but I see I was wrong."

"Yeah, you were, it doesn't mean anything."

I should tell them he's dead, but for some reason I can't. All I can think about is what his final moments in that bathtub must have been like. 

What was he thinking about? Why did he kill himself? He had absolutely no reason too, he had an amazing life, a perfect life even. Rich and well known, with good brains, not a bad face either. What more could anyone want?

I bet that Mori-san told the school he transferred Osamu somewhere else. Is he just being private or is he ashamed of his son's suicide? It's pointless because even if the funeral is private the press always finds out these things, the papers will run an obituary and everyone will know. 

I wonder what they'll say?

What will the Tanizakis say, the kids he apparently tutored? It's like seeing into a mirror universe, imagining Mori helping people, taking the time to actually make someone else's life easier. It doesn't make him any less of a snob, or does it? Kind hearted or no, he was still an ass to me, but I will admit this changes something. A lot actually. If he was such a "nice" person, why the hell did he hate me so much? If he had this, something he was doing that I assume he enjoyed, and a group of kids who respected him how could he have just decided to up and die one day?

-

Thursday and Friday tick on uneventfully. It's no easier to focus now than it was.

Kouyou tells me the funeral is going to have his casket open, but I don't have to see the body if I don't want to. I don't answer her, too busy remembering that time he wouldn't stop bombarding me with pick-up lines. Most were cheesy and weird. He said "You'd look great at an open casket funeral."

– Saturday –

Kouyou is taking me to rent a suit for the funeral today. Akiko offered to lend her one of her western style dresses, but she's going to wear the same black Kimono she wore to our parents' funeral.

-

My suit is too tight, I can barely move my arms, but I'm in between sizes so it's the best they have.

"You look handsome, Chu."

"Do I? Well, I feel ridiculous."

"Chu, come on, it's only for an hour or two. You don't even have to stay the whole time, just please don't make a fuss about it. You're eighteen, not eight."

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll be fine. Let's just go home."

"Okay, thank you."

As we walk I don't tell Kouyou that I want to go to the funeral, she'd just give me a lecture on closure and all that, but I think that maybe she understands it somehow, like hearing an unspoken word, because she doesn't bother me about it again.

-

I'm hesitant to fall asleep, but sleep deprivation will only make tomorrow worse, so I sink into bed anyway.

More Than You Know \\ soukoku

TW ⚠️: topics of depression and suicide. I don't really like writing that kind of stuff so there won't be too many details but these things are mentioned a bit.

-SUMMARY-

Chuuya and Osamu go to Kafka Academy together. Osamu is from a rich family, the Moris, who owns the Yokohama Port Corporation. Chuuya is a scholarship kid from the slums with anger issues. He thinks Osamu is annoying and pretentious and they fight a lot.

Then one day Osamu commits suicide.

Because Kuoyou is Mori's secretary, they attend the funeral where Chuuya receives a CD and a locked notebook, with a clue to the key only Chuuya would know, these objects appaently having been willed to him by Osamu.

After a month Chuuya realises he misses the other boy and that school isn't the same without him. Then as the month ends, he wakes up the week before Osamu commits suicide. Chuuya realises he has seven days to save the boy.

----------

(A/N: Right now I'm posting each chapter individually, but once the story is finished I'll post them all together on one post to make it easier to find. I'll probbaly reblog this post and put them here.)

(A/N: original/canon ages are first followed by the age they are in this fic)

Yukichi: 45 - 41

Ougai: 40 - 36

Koyou: 26 - 22

Yosano: 25 - 21

Osamu & Chuuya: 22 - 18

Kunikida: 22

Aku: 20 - 16

Gin: 18 - 14

Kyouka: 10

Atsushi: 18 - 14

Junichirou: 18 - 14

Naomi: 17 - 13

Q: 13 - 9

Elise: 10 - 7

[patriciaselina]

8P Unit Song CD Vol.3 - Lounsbery Arthur + Kousaka Atsushi

duet -   fate ～危険な香り～ (A Forbidden Scent)

I don’t know who I really am, so I wonder if anyone will tell me. I know who I really am, so that’s what I’ll hide away.

Lounsbery Arthur - FREE

Alas, a video comprised of but a single scene is boring, So I impulsively press the fast-forward button.

Kousaka Atsushi -  銀河の海を渡って (Going Across The Milky Way)

Everything won't ever work out perfectly, but, It's alright to go searching for the shape of your future again.

Full translated lyrics for all songs under the cut!

duet:  fate ～危険な香り～ (A Forbidden Scent)

K: Whatever you’ve been longing for has been shrouded in mystery, as you pierce through with an icy gaze. L: It’s because I’ve always been looking for you, even before you were born.

K: I don’t know who I really am, so I wonder if anyone will tell me. L: I know who I really am, so that’s what I’ll hide away.

K: When you touch me, what do you feel? L: When I touch you - Both: - your heart has frozen over.

The scent of roses drives us mad, starts our story, And the blood flowing within this body remains unchanging. If this forbidden scent is but a dream, then - K: Why? L: Why? Both: Does this bruise still remain, right here, right here? [Do] You need me?

L: If what I’ve been longing for ever comes to light, everything will change. K: From your gentle words, to the reason we met - all will be back-lit with terrifying clarity.

L: When I touch you, what will I feel? K: When you touch me - Both: - my heart has frozen over.

The scent of roses draws us into trouble, leads us along our story, And the blood flowing within this body remains unchanging. This cold kiss deeper than sin - L: Sways, K: Sways, Both: This scar has yet to sway your heart, your heart, [Do] You need me? 

L: Every time I smell the scent of roses... K: ...I’ll definitely meet you again, won’t I?

Both: The scent of roses drives us mad, continues our story, And the blood flowing within this body remains unchanging. Even if I’ll be awoken from the dream of this forbidden scent, K: Always, L: Always, This bruise will keep throbbing, right here, right here, [Do] You need me? And until the day this scar erases everything, everything, K: It’ll never end. L: It’ll never end. Both: It’ll never end.

Arthur Lounsbery: FREE

There's no way to get anything across, So I just keep on worrying about you, Who might not even be going through a slump, Just from what I can see and hear from the monitor.

Alas, a video comprised of but a single scene is boring, So I impulsively press the fast-forward button.

From here on out, let your heart go loose. Yeah, let's say bye-bye to common sense for a bit, Woah yeah, If being alone scares you, Should I go and hold your hand tighter?

(Tighter...)

Come to think of it, the other day, There was a sudden rainshower, wasn't there? Sorry for suddenly changing topics, but you see, at that time,

If, for example, you didn't have an umbrella with you, And you had taken shelter somewhere, I think I would've had greeted you there.

Right now, it seems like rain is falling inside my heart Yeah, but if that ever happened, I'd have used an umbrella, Woah yeah, Rather than keep waiting for a blue sky, Come on, look, it's alright to go to the place where you can live freely.

I don’t know how best to say this (with feelings and stuff) - “It’s all right to stay as you are, stay true to yourself.”

From here on out, let your heart go loose. Yeah, let's say bye-bye to common sense for a bit, Woah yeah, If being alone scares you, I'll go and hold your hand tighter, and that's why, It seems like rain is falling inside my heart Yeah, but if that ever happened, I'd have used an umbrella, Woah yeah, Rather than keep waiting for a blue sky, Come on, look, it's alright to go to the place where you can live freely.

(Woah yeah...)

Kousaka Atsushi: 銀河の海を渡って (Going Across The Milky Way)

Tonight, I'm going to meet you.

Sighing under the twilight, grumbling as my head hangs down in shame, I had a feeling that I might have heard your voice. You've been struggling through the night, but isn't it just too dark? So open your windows, and here, let's take a look outside.

The voices of the stars resound in this heart, Wanting to twinkle and continuing to pray to A melody of hope.

If I were to go across the galaxy, I wonder if I'd get to meet you? You can feel the soft blue breeze, can't you? I'll be there soon. When you're lost, losing, and about to cry, take two handfuls out of all these stars, Send them upwards, let them go before you, And let them draw your dreams out once more.

You see, complaints don't just fill up the valleys of life, But it just so happens that humans are wandering beings. Just like how, when you're cheerfully laughing, The kid right next to you can't fall asleep, either.

Behind the curtains, you're all bundled up and waiting, And suddenly come flying out of bed, with a smile on your surprised face.

As the clouds part, the round moon comes peeking through, Just like how you'll forget feeling like you've lost where you'll go. Everything won't ever work out perfectly, but, It's alright to go searching for the shape of your future again. That's why there's nothing to be afraid of.

No matter how many lightyears set us apart, When you sparkle that beautifully, you'll definitely get your chance to shine.

Ah, I'll go across the galaxy, so let's go and chat together, We're no longer alone, so we'll find the answer sooner. When you're lost, losing, and about to cry, take two handfuls out of all these stars, Send them upwards, let them go before you, And let them draw your dreams out once more.

You can hear the samples of this album on this page!

You can purchase the album here!

my translation index

i always say this anyway, but it bears repeating - i am 1000% very extremely sure i can never capture the actual meanings of this. i will at least try to capture the spirit but holy susmaryosep this deserves to be listened to

their drama is....DEFINITELY more complex than what i expected, but oh well fine.

major spoiler alert - as if it wasn't obvious from the lyrics already - arthur's a vampire from 1900's london who befriends atsushi because he smells like roses and has special, probably very yummy blood. atsushi figures this out very quickly and arthur ends up basically proposing they spend the next 200 years of arthur's life together, because somehow atsushi's special blood will make him survive that long?

atsushi doesn't wanna become vampire travel snack, though, and tries to kill arthur to make him leave...but then goes after him because he feels like he has to be the one to kill him. also, arthur bit him, leaving a weird rose-shaped bruise. hmm.

i am actually very bitter that i am not in japan and thus cannot watch the continuation to this because bias aside IT JUST SOUNDS SO GOOD.

the thing about this duet is that, of all the duets in this disk series, this is the only one where they're singing TO each other. i just felt like i had to point this out ktnxbye

all the occurrences of "swaying" in the second chorus aren't referring to the actual movement, all of them are referring to the "swaying your heart" kind of meaning.

fsr the only ways i can think of as a viable POV for FREE is a hikikomori boy thinking about a girl he only sees from afar (...think keishi from ACTORS towards his friends?), or...someone playing a dating sim, i guess.

either way. very arthur. this was close to his satoru singing voice, very pop-rock, very nice. familiar. but-

TRACK THREE MADE ME CRY

ACTUALLY

CRY

TEARS

NO KIDDING

i have zero idea why atsushi would be singing about stars. the closest thing i have seen to an in-show theory is that his "tiny complaint" in one ep was that "when i walk outside at night, i can't see the stars anymore." but that was most probably a lie to make tasuku say things, contextually speaking.

i know the songs aren't probably supposed to be taken as against their personality so deeply. BUT STILL, WHY.

the most probable reason: his image within the group is "cool and mature". this sounds like advice a cool and mature senpai would give to his down-on-their-luck kouhai.

things i end up thinking about at 12 midnight: the song is about him.

i keep saying this, but - atsushi has had roughly ten years experience in the industry. definitely far from the 若手男性声優 label 8p uses for its boys. i doubt this was where he saw himself being ten years ago, but he's adapting, making it his own and oh god stop me from talking i'm just going to cry again

BASICALLY, good. everything, good. these guys did their best and deserve the world and i have zero regrets. thank you, hapicha. thank you.

thanks for reading! please do not redistribute these lyrics anywhere!