#thank you odasaku i guess

[ssaraexposs]

Being Dazai's favorite subordinate

Expectations:

Reality:

[getonite]

PLAYING : HOTLINE ! — DAZAI TUNES IN!

𝗧hinking about Dazai, your childhood friend and the one who shows his vulnerability only to you. Years after you've gone and left the Port Mafia and your terrible past behind, he knocks on your door. He looks downright terrible. His bloodied hands are trembling as he grips onto the fabric of Odasaku's coat, he's trembling, and on the verge of tears.

"Dazai, how'd you—" he practically leaps, his bandaged arms wrap around your neck, squeezing harshly, though you wonder how he found you... Ango.

There's not a word spoken between you two, but you know exactly what he needs. You pull him inside, carefully closing the door. "How about we clean you up first, okay?" You whisper. He stinks. His eyelids are puffy and there's red underlining his eyelashes. His hair is due for a wash with split ends, and he's pale. You guess he hasn't taken too much care of himself since you left. He silently nods, leaning his full bodyweight into you.

You bring him to your bathroom, carefully peeling the layers of clothing from him. The first to come off is the black coat he's regularly worn since he joined the Port Mafia.

His knees are to his chest as he speaks for the first time. "Mori-san's coat, burn it. I don't need it," he whispers in a raspy voice as if he's been screaming. You hum in acknowledgement as you set the dirty thing on the bathroom tile. Your hands carefully help him undress before starting to undo his bandages. "Years later and you still can't change your bandages like I told you to," he hears you whisper with a small smile. The bloodied and worn bandages fall to the floor as he hears the sound of streaming water come from the bathtub inches from him.

Once he's in the bath, you carefully rinse his body with warm water, lathering his new and old scars with soap carefully. There's a hint of guilt in your heart as you hear him wince, though this is probably for the best.

The pads of your fingers massage his scalp as you wash his hair, just like you did when the two of you were kids. You carefully trim his wet hair and brush it before getting him out of the tub, helping him dry off. You were likely the only person he could truly trust to see him so...bare and vulnerable. You couldn't exactly tell if the silence was tense or comforting, regardless you continued with is predictable mute moment. He always got like that when there was something wrong, you sigh.

"How about, I get you something to eat? I made some bento boxes, you can eat one and then brush your teeth, is that okay?" You speak softly and re-bandage his tender skin.

You smile softly at him when be finally nods. "Okay," you whisper and attempt to finish quickly before his mind changes.

As his hair dries it becomes its usual fluffy self, you'd assume hair matches personality; however, Dazai's eyes were close to dead. He only seemed to relax, feel different, when you touched him so gently. You quickly clean up and head to make him food. "You don't have to eat all of it y'know...just some, okay?" You whisper, setting the box in front of him.

He can tell your eyes are studying him as he eats, wondering what your Dazai from years ago has turned into. You look at him proudly when he finishes half of it before pushing it away. "Thank you," you whisper.

Handing him a toothbrush, you let him brush his teeth and fix the mess that is your bedroom, knowing he'll ask to sleep. And surely, 5 minutes later he stumbles to your doorway. "Can I...Can I stay?" You look him up and down, smiling softly. Compared to the terrible look he had when he first appeared at your door, he looks better. No longer like a man seconds from being a corpse.

"'Course," You smile, pulling back the covers, "C'mere."

He walks to the bed, crawling onto the soft sheets carefully. His brown eyes look at you expectingly, watching you get under the covers with him. He moves his body next to yours, putting his face into your neck without a word. "Ready to talk?" You whisper. His hoarse voice whispers a 'No.'

The calming effect your fingers have as they glide along him and his hair makes him feel like he's home. "Okay, just sleep. I'll be right here, I'm not leaving."

Dazai again, speaks no words, but his legs entertangle with yours. He remembers just why he came here. He missed you. Even if Odasaku is gone, he has you to make sure he doesn't go over the deep end. He'll save people, he'll grant Odasaku's last wish. But first, he wants to rest. Right next to his home.

"I promise, sleep." The man listens, squeezing onto you as if to test that this is real before drifting off.

For the first time in days...he's at peace.

A/N: dazai srsly needs a hug, 'n ill b the one 2 give it 2 him if no one else will! we need more fluffy fics of taking care of dazai, rather than dazai taking care of us. nyway, if u haven't signed up 4 the new tag list u totally should! there's new options n better format.

SUBSCRIBERS : @avatsu @sofliesy @tamreadfanfiction

[ceelisiowo]

A happy (mackerel eyed) family :) So uhm... I had this idea for an AU where Dazai takes his 'pupils' away from the Port Mafia after a change of heart (? Dazai is 17, Akutagawa 15 and Yumeno 6... or 7 o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o I think those are their canon ages :]

Get a bit of lore!! Or well just my thoughts on this AU hehe (its pretty recent). After knowing Odasaku for a while (like a year I think?) Dazai gets this idea on his head that to be 'happy' and 'a good person' like Oda he must be like him (? So what is it that makes Odasaku happy? His kids!! But then Dazai's like "but I don't have kids :(" until he remembers the poor kid he left abandoned in the Port Mafia basement and Akutagawa, who he knows has not treated well but... people can change right? :D He goes to Akutagawa "hey let's leave the port mafia just the two (and kyu) of us, your sister will be fine here don't worry" and of course he says yes to whatever Dazai wants (;w;) and then they both secretly steal Kyusaku from the basement™️and the kid's like "you literally were the one that put me in here" and Dazai "yeah but now I'm taking you out so the three of us can escape together :D" and Kyusaku's "yeah ok that sounds great :)" and inconspicuously run away from the mafia 👍 (Before this whole mission starts though Dazai goes to Chuuya asking him if he wants to leave the mafia and Chuuya's like "yeah right you obviously won't leave" but ahm... he does... and Chuuya ends up alone 👍) So the three of them are in the run because Dazai didn't really have a plan for more than a few days, this whole idea coming to him out in a whim (yes yes very ooc sorry orz). Of course the whole mafia is looking for them but it is Odasaku and Ango who find them first!! (in that very ditch from the drawing hehe). He ends up telling him the whole 'plan' and in the end Ango reveals himself to them as a double agent and speedruns Dazai's connection to Taneda. At the end, Dazai, Akutagawa and Kyusaku end up in the care of the ADA :D (or maybe they stay under the government's wing for a while until Fukuzawa is ready to take them) I'm guessing that now that Odasaku knows about Ango maybe he gets the courage to also leave the Port Mafia before all that Mimic fiasco (〃＾▽＾〃) (Thank you if you read this far!! <3)

[starlightshadowsworld]

The Port Mafia brothers AU

Aka Bsd except Akutugawa and Dazai have a good sibling relationship.

Chuuya:... Get the fuck out of my kitchen!

Dazai: Chuuuuuuya! There you are, man your cupboards are so boring. You don't even have any crab.

Chuuya: Ew, like hell I'd have any of your canned shit in here. Go back to your own place if you want it so bad.

Dazai: I would but alas I need you're advice. See I have a child.

Chuuya: WHAT?!

Dazai: Not like that! Man why did you and Odasaku have the same reaction...

Chuuya: Oh I don't know?! Maybe because you reproducing sounds like a fucking nightmare! Where did you even find a kid?

Dazai: New recruit I found, he's my responsibility now. I found him in a bad way and he's having nightmares. You ran a child gang or something, what do I do?

Chuuya: suprised You must be desperate if you're asking for my help.

Dazai: Oh believe me, I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't. But Akutugawa's more important than my stupid pride.

Chuuya: Alright, but I'm only gonna explain this once. And don't you dare laugh.

That night Chuuya finds a can of crab with a bow tie on in his cupboard, as thanks. He shakes his head but keeps it there for the next time Dazai breaks into his kitchen.

'I guess the kid's lucky to have him.'

[kouyou-arc-when]

helloo!

this is just based on a passing thought I had so it's kinda random 😅

may I ask what you HC or think about Dazai's birthday during his port mafia days? Like, do you think Mori gave him presents, did the Buraiha trio greet him, etc?

Hey there, thanks for dropping by! <3 Again, apologies for not replying earlier <3 So, this is inspired by things I've seen in Mayoi and other supplementary material, like how Osamu appears to react to holidays in general. In Mayoi Dazai has this Christmas card. In it, Mori forces him to come to this Christmas party or some sort of event like that, and Dazai looks so fucking done that he has to attend - I swear, he looks like a wet cat whenever he's upset, which is so adorable. However, he later hangs out with Ango and Oda and seems cutely happy about it. Osamu goes like "oh, we managed to gather". You can definitely see that's his comfort place - he really looks adorably peaceful in that one animation Aside from that instance, in the letter you receive when purchasing volumes on the BSD anniversary, Dazai mentions that time holds no significance for him, implying that he doesn't celebrate or enjoy anniversaries at all. I got the impression that he feels the same way about birthdays, perhaps because they serve as a reminder that he doesn't want to continue living and how much time he has spent being alive, yet not much has changed regardless. In some way, all these normal human activities people do to celebrate life are probably painful and suffocating to him. My guess is that Dazai doesn't really care much about his birthday, and it all probably meant even less to him during the Port Mafia era when he was much grumpier. He strikes me as the type of person who wouldn't even disclose his actual birthdate to others just so they wouldn't bother him. I mean the guy used to live in the most impersonally decorated shipping container in SB. However, secretly, I imagine he would make sure to spend time with Oda and Ango on his bday. He would appear more cheerful than usual, simply happy that they were able to meet. His friends wouldn't even be aware that it's a special day, but he would know, and that's all that matters. Quality time definitely feels like his love language. My guess is that the only person who'd know it's his birthday would be Mori, who would give him the most proper gift ever - a tie, suit, something of that type. Dazai would be so done with it, but he'd probably use whatever he gets, since he tends to hold onto stuff people give him? (he wore the coat Mori gave him, and cared enough to burn it, then there are the matches too). I can't imagine Mori giving him something Dazai wouldn't use - considering how classy Mori is with his gifts and lifestyle (like the guy goes everywhere with a limo).

I could also envision him using "it's my birthdaay~" as an excuse to tease Chuuya - with the latter trying to be nice to him one day of the year. He would do his most™  to be super fucking annoying and try to get away with it, saying things like "you're so mean to me on my birthday." Chuuya would probably try to tolerate him more than usual, and Dazai would keep pushing until Chuuya finally loses his patience. It'd probably be super fucking amusing to Dazai to see how much Chuuya could tolerate just because it's his special day. But yeah, I feel like Dazai would have a mix of emotions on his birthday, and he'd want to spend the day with the only people who remind him why life is actually good - Ango and, especially, Odasaku. this was a fun question to think about <3

[curry-and-gunpowder]

Dazai

11,12,9,8,7,6,16,18

Hi anon, thanks for being patient!

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

We both love Odasaku more than anything

We both love to procrastinate work.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

It's hard to generalize the bsd fandom I find... I admit I only really haunt a very small corner of it, and most people there have similar interpretations of the character as I do, so I guess I do like that, generally.

More broadly speaking, I very much enjoy how much the fandom likes to see him suffer. He's a wonderful stress ball, and I love seeing him squeezed until he almost pops hehe. There's also a lot of absolutely fantastic angsty art of him.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Sigh where do I start... the mischaracterization is so bad in large parts of the fandom, and Dazai's is especially egregious to me, because I feel like he's not that hard to understand? But it really feels like a lot of the fandom loves to go for the most uncharitable interpretation of his character. I've seen a lot of takes that boil down to "he's just irredeemably evil and always has been", which, like. I know the level of reading comprehension in the bsd fandom at large is ironically low, but come the fuck on.

11. Would you date this character?

Absolutely the fuck not.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Ooh I have several about his early life that I'm not gonna talk about since they would be spoilery for the Refuge-verse. So I'll just go for something more general.

I hc Dazai as demiromantic, to the point that he himself for a long time thought he was incapable of love (until he met a certainly someone). He disassociates sex from love altogether, and sees sex as a tool to get what he wants rather than a truly intimate sensual experience. He probably learned this pretty early in life.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Oh anon you just had to put me on blast didn't you? Alright then, I'll come right out and say it.

I really really don't care for romantic Soukoku.

18. A relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

It kinda feels like cheating to say Odasaku, doesn't it? So I'm not gonna.

I really adore both the relationships Dazai has with Atsushi and Kunikida. Atsushi and Dazai have this really wholesome bond where it kinda feels like they're constantly keep trying to figure each other out and learn from each other. Meanwhile, Kunikida is kind of a reliable point that Dazai can depend on. I honestly adore these 3 together, it's a shame we don't get nearly enough of them in canon.

Thank you again for asking anon!

[evilkaeya]

very sorry if this bothered you in any way but hello hello

i just need some help in getting out of an ongoing art block for several months.

if you're willing to share, what flowers do you consider most suitable for your favorite bsd characters?

there's no restrictions, up to personal preference. it can be based on flower symbolism, aesthetic, your own scenarios, or based on said character's backstory.

could you explain if it's a little complicated? so i can draw with a better guideline rather than going on pure imagination.

if i manage to post it, i'll be sure to give credit. if you're up to it.

anyway, if you liked this idea and you're comfortable with it, thank you so much. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this ask, no harm done.

have a nice day— or night? whenever you see this honestly. take care!

hi hello I'm sorry I just saw this 😭

I actually don't have many bsd characters I associate with particular flowers but I am obsessed with hanakotoba so here we go!!

Chuuya: You guessed it, camellia. It's not my fault he's always surrounded in camellias in official arts + the Japanese meaning of the flower, 'noble death' really suits him, given his personality. I also associate him with red daisies (I just feel like it) and freesia (flower language: trust and friendship!)

Dazai: Oh boy I'm about to get very annoying so bear with me. I associate Dazai with multiple flowers. First, sunflowers! I don't know if this is part of flower language but you know how sunflowers are always following the sun right? Constant inclination towards the light, just like current Dazai. Yes, he has his ups and downs, and yes, he's unsure of his own actions sometimes, but he'll never turn away from the light Odasaku pointed him towards. That's why I think sunflowers suit him. ADA Dazai is VERY dear to me.

I also associate him with daffodils for its flower meaning, rebirth and new beginnings. PM Dazai is sakura to me because of its contradictory meanings (life and death, beauty and violence).

Kunikida: Gladiolus! Because it means strength of character and moral integrity. Kunikida is also one of the few bsd characters with the strongest characteristics, in my opinion.

Kenji: Sunflower again, simply because it suits him (both flower language and aesthetic. I've seen so many art of Kenji with sunflowers and they make me so happy)

Atsushi and Kyouka: I associate both of them with daffodils, again, for it's flower meaning. Atsushi specifically with white lilies too, just because they match his aesthetic.

Fyodor: Black lilies. Because they mean beauty, mystery and death. Also the aesthetics suit him.

Yosano: Iris! They symbolize elegance, strength and admiration in Japanese and I've seen an art of Yosano standing in an iris field once and it stuck with me ever since.

Soukoku: I associate these bitches with too many flowers but I'll give you the ones I think of the most after the recent events. Manjushage or spider lilies, because they mean 'final goodbye' and asters because they mean 'I won't forget you' :)

That's all! Thank you for the ask, I loved answering this <3 I hope this helps you get rid of your arts block, even if it's just a bit.

[daz4i]

okay trigger warning for this WHOLE ASK for depictions of abuse. physical and mental was thinking about ur post critiquing depictions of mori abusing dazai while i was doing my dishes and honestly i have to respectfully disagree with you, although only slightly. first off i'd like to establish that i think the popular depiction of mori's abuse, where he hurts dazai with no reason, pattern, or logic, is wrong. i'll agree with you there. but i do think there is some textual evidence for a more sinister manipulative form of abuse. i think it plays out when you observe dazai's relationship with akutagawa in the dark era. people tend to forget, i think, that almost all of dazai's career in the mafia was played out as he was a child. hell, when dazai leaves the mafia, he's barely legally of age in most countries. no matter how smart anyone is, a large portion of how you behave as a child is learned behavior. personally, i believe it makes sense that dazai's form of training and punishment for akutagawa would mirror how mori trained him. no, mori doesn't hit him for no reason, or torture him just for fun. But he would, say, put dazai in a seemingly impossible harmful situation and force him to escape with no help. He would hit dazai if he failed his mission, or gave an incorrect answer to a problem, or so on. If this isn't true, at least to some extent, then why would dazai use such methods on akutagawa? there are other options but i don't particularly like them. if dazai treats akutagawa the way he does because it's the objectively logical thing to do, then that feeds into asagiri's abuse apologism and i will be DAMNED if i let him have that. but if it's what dazai thinks is logical to do, independent of his situation, then that plays into the adultification of dazai during the mafia. HE WAS A KID! HE WOULD HAVE BEEN GOING TO SECONDARY SCHOOL IN JAPAN. HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL (sorry american moment). i don't like to believe in the "naturally cruel and evil dazai just wants to hurt people no matter what" because it refuses to acknowledge the tragedy of his life. plus! I think that's mori's whole goal! Is to adultify dazai! He never wants dazai to be viewed as he really is, a kid who's lost and mentally ill, because he'll lose one of his best assets. and like i guess you could pass his treatment of akutagawa off as his untold backstory but again he's being taught by mori for like a few years before he trains akutagawa. why wouldn't he adopt his training methods?? idk its just my personal thoughts.

hi! first of all thank you for being respectful :)

i do think you raise some great points! however, like you disagree with my take, i respectfully disagree with yours 🙏

when it comes to akutagawa, dazai could've learned this behavior from. well. literally anyone. it doesn't even have to be his own first hand experience that he inflicts on ryuu, it could be something he observed, either by someone else in the mafia, in his unmentioned backstory, or even like. in media really. i don't think he'd think this is the most logical conclusion, either, this is the part i agree with you the most - he was just a kid, he didn't know much better, even if he and mori thought he did

speaking of, the reason i don't think mori abused him, is because well. i don't think this would work on dazai? like. if he hates pain as much as he claims, i feel like if you physically punish him, he will simply leave. nothing really kept him in the mafia, as he told odasaku, so if things become too much for him, he would leave (we can also see that bc mori crossed a line - with odasaku - dazai severed all contact with him, burned his coat etc), and i think mori knows that

it's BECAUSE mori drives him to grow up so fast that i think he'd try to appeal to dazai's intelligence and logic (even when it's flawed due to how young he is) rather than basic instincts you'd use to train an animal.

mori in general doesn't strike me as a particularly (physically) violent individual. even when he kills, he does so with a clean cut to the throat. would he really use such methods, when he would have an easier time and better results if he used mind games? (also like, why would he physically hurt dazai? it'd just make him perform worse)

the thing i can maybe get behind is the "putting him in impossible situations" part, bc mental manipulation might've taken place there, tho i don't think he needed to do it often. yes dazai is a kid but his morals are askew enough to go along with mori's plans with no argument, so why would mori even NEED to abuse him, yknow?

that's how i see things at least. you don't have to agree ofc, we can both read the same story and come to wildly different conclusions, and that's great :)

i'm glad you have your own take on this and your own interpretation of mori and his relationship with dazai, so please don't take this as me correcting you or something, just sharing my own view 🙏

[meowzersl]

hello, I see that you're request are open!

I'd like to request a Dazai x fem reader oneshots soulmate Au! Where in the BSD world Soulmate are kinda common and almost everyone have it! And couples/ soulmate are partner up based on a mark on their skin that appear in certain age (maybe 18? Whatever you like) also pls make reader have an ability

You can make it angst but id rlly hope you end it with fluff! (My poor heart can't bear a sad ending 🙁)

I know it's a lot, but I hope you consider

Thank you ❤

Thank you for your request☺️

18 Dazai x 18 Reader

Fem reader

Tw: mentions of self-harm and some other things

Dazai never really cared about finding his soulmate. He feels like soulmates are a "waste of time" like dating. Sure, he may have had a crush on a girl when he was younger but he's a Port Mafia executive, he doesn't have time to date anyone. Yet, Dazai was eighteen and he still hasn't got his mark yet. Odasaku just said he was a late bloomer.

When Dazai got his mark he just looked at it and shrugged it off. He wouldn't try and waste time trying to find his soulmate. If anything, he'll just let them find him. So, the purple diamond-shaped mark stayed on his palm. Though, Dazai was curious to see who his soulmate was and how they looked, acted, and talked.

It was a normal evening, nothing new or special. Just him and Oda eating curry. Odasaku was talking about different things and Dazai was listening as he ate his spicy curry. "I've adopted a new orphan. They're sweet and they are also your age," Oda said.

"Really? A new one. I think you already have enough," Dazai joked. "But I would like to meet them." So with that, Oda brought down the girl. The girl was shorter than him, which didn't surprise him since he was tall. But the Dazai noticed something. This girl had the same mark that was on his hand.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. I can't help but notice that you have the same mark on your palm as mine," Dazai said.

"Oh, you're right," she said before looking at her palm. "I wouldn't have expected to meet my soulmate today." Dazai's phone then goes off, it was Mori.

"I have to go," Dazai said, "Bye Odasaku." Dazai then left, going to the Port Mafia Headquarters. Dazai gets there and takes the elevator up to Mori's office. He stands in the elevator quietly, the dings of the elevator going up floors fill that silence. Finally, Dazai gets to Mori's office and gets out of the elevator before walking to the office. Inside was Mori sitting at his desk. "Ah, Dazai, I have a new mission for you," Mori said.

"What is it?" Dazai replied, "It better not require me to be with that stupid hatrack."

"I have a mission for you to get some information on another organization, they have been becoming a threat to us," Mori said as he messed with a scalpel. Without another word, Dazai did what he was told, wanting to get out of this office.

Dazai started to go over and see his soulmate more often. Dazai didn't know why he liked her so much, but he just did. Maybe he just enjoyed her company, her stories, or possibly he just likes everything about her. "Dazai, have you ever gone through something traumatic or horrible?" She asked.

"I guess, why?" he asked.

"Just wondering," she replied. She always wondered why his eyes were so dull and had very little hope in them. His eyes made him look more eerie and scary. Dazai seems scary when you first meet him but when you get to know him, he's nice and silly. But something about him made her heart skip a beat, made her breath catch in her throat, and made her want to love him. Maybe his looks, attitude, or everything about him. Maybe he was just so perfect and breathtaking to her. "Dazai, if you don't mind me asking, what is under your bandages?" she asked politely.

"Self-harm cuts and other things that include suicide," he said it so naturally, too naturally. It was quite surprising. Dazai suddenly lightens the mood with some teasing, "y'know you remind me of someone I hate the most, Chuuya Nakahara," he smirked, "He's short, ginger, and always wears a stupid hat," he snickered.

"What about me reminds you of him?" She asked confused.

"I don't know, maybe you're just short like him," he shrugged. It was silent for a bit now. They looked at each other. Dazai never thought he'd feel like this, but he feels a magnetic pull towards her. His hand moved to her's. He didn't understand why he felt like this.

"I like you a lot," he said, "You're just so... I don't know," he couldn't explain how and what he felt. Their fingers intertwined together. His thumb lightly rubbed against the back of her hand. He never thought he would ever fall in love like this. He never thought he would even love someone like this.

"I like you too," she replied sweetly. Her heart was pounding in her ears like tiny explosions. She noticed she was holding her breath. Dazai's left hand went to her waist, pulling her closer as he leans in. His lips met her's with passion. He lightly gripped at her waist and her face got red. He pulled away and he saw how red her face was.

(A couple days later when Oda dies)

Y/n was devastated to hear that Odasaku died. He was important to Y/n and now he is gone. Dazai comforted her, knowing how she felt since Oda was important to him too. They both understood each other and cared for each other when they both needed it. Y/n couldn't have asked for anyone better.

I'm not the greatest at fluff so sorry if it's bad 😔

[ichijager13]

The port mafia boss

Dazai Osamu/ Chuuya Nakahara

Summary:  After leaving for a mission Chuuya comes back to the port mafia to find something unexpected waiting for him

A/N: I have been meditating this idea for a while now but never found the right way to put it to words. I hope you like the results.

Also I would love to thank you all for reading and supporting my work. Enjoy reading !

If anyone recognizes the artist please tag them

He looked around, staring at the city at his feet before he took a step forward…

“Chuuya-kun, welcome back”. Koyo greeted the young port mafia executive. “The boss left you something on your desk. He said to check it as soon as you arrive”.

“Thank you, Ane-san”. The redhead replied mirroring her smile.

 “I’m coming, Odasaku”. He whispered slowly, closing his eyes…

 Entering his office, Chuuya found a small paper bag and an envelope next to it.

 Flashbacks from his life ran before him, and a lazy smile spread across his face. “Finally,”. He hummed, satisfied…

 After checking the content of the bag, Chuuya fell to the floor. With shaky hands, he opened the envelope. he immediately recognized the handwriting. “What have you done; you fool?” He mumbled.

 Four years ago

“I’ve been waiting for this day”. Mori smiled when he saw the gun pointed at him. “Took you so long”. The smirk on his face grew wider when he saw the brunette’s empty eyes staring back at him. “Go ahead, I won’t stop you”. he stood up, in front of his desk, with arms spread wide.

 “I’m sorry, forgive me, chuuya”. Even though he felt relieved, he couldn’t prevent the tears that made their way down his cheeks. They were warm and abundant. “As warm as chuuya’s heart”. He whispered to himself…

 He took a deep breath and blinked several times chasing away the tears that blocked his vision.

 Four years ago

Three gunshots echoed in the silent office. The first one in the heart, because it was him who made him like this, heartless. The second one hits his head, because he messed with his head and made him become the twisted man that he is today. the third and final one was aimed at his right hand. Because it was this hand, that reached for him and picked him up that day.

 “I bet he will lose his mind and call me names when he reads the letter, I left him”. he couldn’t prevent the chuckle that escaped from him. “I hope one day he’ll understand”.

 ‘Dear Petite mafia,

By the time you read these lines, I’d be gone. Gone to a quitter place, a more pleasant place where I don’t have to see all the atrocities I had to deal with since I was born. By the time you read these lines, my soul would be put to rest’.

 A wounded cry left Chuuya’s chest and he slammed his fist to the ground.

 Four years ago

He slowly put his gun back in its place watching Mori’s body fall to the floor. His blood was slowly flooding painting the white floor crimson red. The metallic smell started invading Dazai’s nostrils. It’s over.

 “It won’t be long, Odasaku”. He let out, feeling gravity pulling him down.

 ‘During the past four years, I did my best to make Yokohama a safer place for you to be. With the decay of angels and Mori gone, I guess things will be alright.

I don’t expect you to understand this right away, but you see Chuuya, I never had a place in this world. So, once I completed my mission, I had no reason to remain here. with Yokohama becoming a safe place to live in, you will no longer need to put your life in danger and use corruption’.

 After he took Mori’s life, Dazai became the port mafia’s boss. This took place after he escaped from Meursault and announced to the agency’s members that he was quitting. His next step was to stop Fyodor and put an end to the decay of angels.

 He was freefalling and for the first time in his life, he felt free. Free from the burden of his sins, free from his sorrow and his demons. He finally got what he has always sought, his freedom.

 “You, stupid bandage-wasting-device”. Chuuya clutched the piece of paper in his hand crying.

 He chose to jump off the port mafia building because it was there, where he met the most important people in his life, Odasaku, and Chuuya. Doing it elsewhere wouldn’t have felt right. “Maybe that’s why I have always failed, nee Chuuya?”.

‘By the time you read these lines, I will finally be free. I can’t describe how relieved I feel. I can finally join Odasaku.

Don’t worry, even after I’m gone, I will keep watching over you. I can never abandon you, that’s unthinkable. Don’t you dare think I’m leaving you behind, that I don’t want to stay by your side. It’s not you, I’m fleeing, it’s this ugly world’.

 Six hours earlier

“Yes, I need everything to be erased”. He spoke into the phone. “No, you can leave mine, there’s no need to, but erase Chuuya’s and the rest”. He listened to the person on the other end of the line. “Yes, that would be perfect. You will receive your payment in seconds. Thank you”.

 “Have a beautiful and happy life, chuuya”.

 ‘I wish there was another way for this. I wish we were ordinary people. I wish we met earlier and I wish I wasn’t a dysfunctional man. I wish I could offer you the happiness you deserve. I wish I was worthy of you and your honesty. I wish I could go back in time and undo all the hurt I made you go through. I wish my heart wasn’t this tainted and dark. Maybe then, I would’ve been able to make you happy.

As I told you, I’ll continue to look after you and take care of you. I will never forsake you and I will never let you down’.

 Four hours earlier

After he finished signing the papers on his desk, he called Akutagawa and Gin.

“Take a seat”. he spoke with a cheerful tone. “You were still kids when I found you in that forest. Look at you now”. He tilted his head smiling. “Today I’m setting you free, you have given so much to this organization and today I’m giving you back your freedom”. He let his head fall back and release a deep sigh. “Go ahead and live your life. Become ordinary people and live an ordinary life”. He closed his eyes, a hint of a smile lingering on his lips. “All of your crimes are being erased as we are speaking. From now on, you are no longer port mafia members. You are regular Yokohama citizens”. He sat straight and looked at the siblings. “I have sent to each one of you money to sustain for a good amount of time. It should be enough until you find a job or finish your education. You are dismissed”.

Surprised, they stared at each other before glancing at the young port mafia boss. Seeing the serious look he has, they understood that this wasn’t a joke. They stood up and thanked him before leaving.

“Be happy”. He called for them.

 ‘Your criminal record has already been erased along with those of the rest of the port mafia members. This way you will be free’.

 Two hours earlier

“Thank you for coming ane-san”. Dazai spoke when he heard the door click open. “I have a favor to ask from you”. he added watching the red-haired woman taking a seat on the chair set in front of his desk. “Everyone’s criminal record has been erased. I asked Mushitaro-kun to do so”. He studied her face before following. “I’m disbanding the port mafia. I need you to inform Chuuya that I left him something at his office and that he needs to check it as soon as he arrives”. He smiled at the woman sitting in front of him. “Can you do this for me ane-san?”

“Of course, boss”. She replied.

“Thank you, one more thing, please. Look after Chuuya for me”. his smile was sad yet so bright. Koyo stared at the living enigma facing her before nodding slowly. “Thank you, you can leave now”.

 ‘Whenever you miss yelling at me come to my grave. I will always be waiting for you. please, Chuuya, leave the past behind and live. You are more than a tool to experiment on. You are more than a massive and strong ability. You are more than a vessel for some god. You are human, as beautiful and fragile as the meaning this five-letters word holds'.

 Chuuya whipped his tears glancing at the red scarf on the table. “Damn you, Dazai”. He screamed in pain.

 Two hours earlier

After Koyo left the office, a man in his early thirties entered and greeted Dazai.

“I want everything to be gone from people’s memory and records. The port mafia never existed”. Dazai concluded. “You will receive the money you need for the payment of those who will help you accomplish this mission from a third party”. A smirk stretched up his lips. “Needless to say, what awaits you if you ever try to betray me”.

 “Never thought that Yokohama might look this beautiful. I guess it’s because the view is blurry due to how fast I am falling. Or maybe it’s because this is the last time, I’d be seeing it”.

 ‘As of today, the port mafia no longer exists in reality, and in people’s minds, it never did. This is my goodbye gift to you, Chuuya Nakahara.

Please, live so I can live through you. please, be happy so I can be at ease. Please, remember me.

Farewell, partner’

 “Here’s the first half. You will get the rest once you get the mission done”. The young man adjusted his glasses before focusing back on his desktop screen.

Ango has already erased the records of the mafia members like Dazai asked and was now creating new ones. For the memory-altering part he hired a gifted he has already worked with in the past.

 By the time he finished reading, the paper was already drenched with tears. He stood up shakily, grabbed the long red scarf, and rushed outside of his office.

Fucking, social-misfit.

He tried to think where he might be, the moment he stepped out of the port mafia’s building, he saw something falling. He saw him falling.

“Dazai!”. He screamed, watching Dazai’s body hit the floor. “Dazai, don’t… Dazai…”. His heart was racing and his mind was foggy.

No, he didn’t. this isn’t happening.

Surprised he noticed the smile on his friend’s face and it made his heart clench.

Dazai… why are you smiling? Are you happy that you’re leaving me behind?

At first, he thought it was his imagination. But he saw one of his fingers moving.

He’s still alive. I can save him. there’s still hope.

He reached for his phone and called the agency’s doctor, Yosano. He picked up Dazai’s body and headed to the armed detective agency’s office.

“I’ll be waiting for you, hurry up”. she spoke once he explained what happened.

Don’t you dare die on me.

 When he arrived, he found Yosano already waiting for him. “Put him on the floor”. She ordered. The rest of the agency’s members stood in silence watching the port mafia’s boss dislocated body laying on the ground.

Come back, Dazai, I beg you, don’t die, don’t leave me.

Without delay, she activated her ability and the place was filled with blue-colored butterflies. Everyone watched the brunette’s body go back to its normal state.

Open your eyes, please, open your eyes.

Chuuya stood there, watching his friend’s face go back to its natural taint.

“He needs to rest a bit”. Yosano’s voice brought the ginger back to reality. “He will be as good as new in hours”. She stood up and looked at him. “You can stay by his side if you want”. She patted his shoulder smiling kindly at him.

He followed her to the nursery where they put Dazai to rest.

You’d better wake up.

 Five hours later

The first thing he felt was the slight dip next to him, then comes the numbness of his extremists. He squeezed his closed eyes. He could feel something warm fanning against the skin of his uncovered arms.

Uncovered arms? Oh, right, I took off my bandages before I jumped off the building.

When the realization hit him, he stood straight. He’s supposed to be dead. Then, why does it feel like he’s still alive? He glanced at his surroundings in horror. He’s not dead, someone stopped him. even though he was sure he hit the ground. He felt every bone in his body break and the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He was sure he succeeded, then why is he at the ADA’s nursery?

The answer to his questions came when someone hit his back. “What the heck were you thinking?!!” a high-pitched voice spoke behind him.

No, he didn’t.

Annoyed, he turned to face his partner. He was about to scold him when he saw his reddened face.

Wait, is he crying? Chuuya’s crying?

Before he could speak, he felt a pair of arms looping around his body. It felt warm and soothing. He almost gave in. He almost let the warmth immerse him. until he felt his tears.

“Chuuya”. He whispered.

“Shut up. what the hell is wrong with you, tacky bastard?”. The redhead hiked up. “Why do you always leave me? Why do you always abandon me? Why… why… why”. Chuuya's sobbing became more hectic.

Dazai watched his long-time friend's shaky body before he reached his hand to caress his hair. "I won't do that again". He breathed.

[katsu-not-found]

Regarding dazatsu, how would you say your reception with the fandom's been? I'm not as big on them anymore, but as my first ship here it holds a special place in my heart, and I still love them a lot! I've been a bit scared of posting/rb them to be honest, because I've seen firsthand how bad it is on Twitter. I have yet to see harassment over it here, and given dazatsu week is coming up and I want to participate, I hope it's ok on here? Please let me know how it's been. (if that's fine with you. I'll probably join in anyway I'm just worried.) :)

P.S you're one of my favourite blogs here and I love seeing you in my notifs have a great day!

hi anon thanks for the ask!

First I want to make clear that I dont really know about the bsd fandom on tumblr because I'm usually just here to post art and search on dazatsu tag is there's anything new.. but I saw how it was when the novel about odasaku and dazai's first meeting came out and I'd say it was a mess LOL but if you ask me the only downside I experienced posting about dazatsu here is just the low numbers of notes compared to how I'm doing on twitter but I'm still happy seeing people reblogging my arts here or spamming likes on it! :D just tag it properly and you will be fine I guess...

It's sad that some people have to pretend they hate dzats or afraid to even just rb/rt it because they are scared they'd be attacked by their "friends". Not all people is seasoned like me in seeing the hate posts and comments and turn it into sass or laughter and i dont know if I'd call it lucky or not that not many haters bother to attack me (directly), but I think it has something to do with how I'm in between of "being part of the bsd fandom" and "not part of the fandom" since I've muted a whole bunch of them on twt.. but I can say that if you keep on being scared then the haters would think they'd won! And we cant allow that!!

Also I think there are people who dont really ship them romantically and but dont really mind them either so.. I think those haters are loud because they feel threatened or something..

Dazatsu nation are still there waiting for their canon reunion hug so if you want to participate in dazatsu week please do!! We'll be really happy to see your contribution for this bsd foundation pair(?)!!!

(also thank you for liking my blog! have a nice day too <3)

[nullians]

Tagged by @agroupofcrows and @sakvnosuke, thank you both!!

Rules: answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better/catch up with!

Last song: Fighter by The Score. I’ve been shuffling my ninja playlist and ended up on this one. It’s one of those songs that suit my 2D guy (Midnight) so much I have ambitions to do an animatic for it but uhhhh. Maybe during summer vacation…

Three ships: Can you believe I’ve actually blanked out on this one for a while. Idk, sth sth past my shipping prime… Well, the ot5 of naruto online protagonists is what occupies me these days (they really do need a name @celeryw, we gotta coin it; yes, I’m tagging you separately 💜), besides that there’s also Shouyou x being alive (<- delusions) and I guess Odasaku/Dazai? Whatever the nature of their bond was anyways, because bsd is airing and I’m feeling very strongly about Oda… again…

Currently reading: The Classic of Mountains and Seas (for ninja lore purposes) and The Poppy War by Rebecca Kuang. The second one is taking all of my patience but hhhh. I will get through it. Eventually. Oh, and The King’s Avatar novel if I were to believe my status on here… too bad it doesn’t look like a success this time either XD

Last movie: I think it was Princess Mononoke!

Craving: Some soft cake. I don’t like sweets that much but the circumstances really make me want to indulge myself… Please, I need some sugar to deal with the horrors

Tagging: @crazymadredfox, @owls-den, @itstimetodrew, @sorvete-de-pacoca, @emurinnartist, @torchickentacos, @creoterative, @scp-10000, @mephxles. Just a nudge, no pressure! 💜

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Trick or treat!! 🎃👻🦇

so in this game, I guess we give anything..

I'm giving you...

--------

My loveee 😄😄😄 (yayyyy!)

you were like the first blog whom I ever actively followed and fangirled over 😅😅

I loved your analyses, your thoughts, your openness to other opinions, your odasaku beast fanfic, etc. ---- your entire blog overall was just a slay 💖

I appreciated the effort too <33

sorry for acting like an insane teenage girl sometimes (I am actually that 😅😅) but I hope it didn't bother you jerigwjv (if it did let me know so I can tone down on the crazy 😅)

Happy Halloween!!! 👻🦇🦇🥳

random asks if (only if) you feel like answering:

why is your pfp Paul Verlaine?

what's the story behind your username?

how's life?

no pressure btw!! just answer the ones you want (it's okay too if u don't feel like answering any).

Happy Halloween and I hope you have a good day/night wherever you are 🥳🥳🦇👻🦇💖💖

Thank you so much!!! This made me feel really proud of this blog, I've been a lot less active on tumblr recently since I just started university and have been adjusting to a very different lifestyle. I'm really glad you enjoy my analyses and the bits of writing I've done, now that I'm more settled in I might try to do some more on this blog again (no promises)

for your asks:

why is your pfp Paul Verlaine?

When I first made this blog I had just read stormbringer for the first time and was completely obsessed with Verlaine, partially because I used to love super powerful characters with interesting abilities, and partially because of how interesting he was as a villain and character in general.

What's the story behind your username?

When I first made this blog I was really hyperfocused on Jujutsu Kaisen and since I had wanted to make an anime alt for a while, I wanted it to reflect both of the anime I planned to talk about, so I took Sorcerer's from JJK and Skill Users from bsd and I liked the alliteration. In the end my interest in jjk has kind of gone down, I still really like it, but it's not the same as my life long obsessing with bsd.

(I've been obsessed with this show for like 6 years which is crazy to think about)

how's life?

Overall good, like I said earlier I've recently started Uni, so there's been some really big changes and there's a lot to get used to, but I've got some good friends and am getting more in control of my studying. I'm doing Materials Engineering, which is already a pretty complicated course that's made even harder when you have ADHD and struggle with self study.

But I find it really interesting and have found a lot of good support, so I'm going to make it work somehow

Thank you for you ask, it really does mean a lot that people enjoy my analyses and stories, If you ever have a specific moment, character, or dynamic you want me to analyse just shoot me an ask and I'll give you my thoughts

Happy Halloween

[lazyflower48]

I'm bored but I like your posts so please excuse me for the mini interview TT. I hope its okay.

What's your favourite piece of fiction?

What's your favourite mode of fiction? (movies, novels, manga, etc?)

Who's your favorite BSD character and why?

What's your dream job?

Do you have a best friend?

Girl sorry for all the questions, I'm just bored, curious and have nothing else to do 😭

I'm glad that you liked my posts! Thank you! And it's totally fine cause right now, I don't have much to do either.

There are so many shows and books I've liked, but I guess for the sake of picking a few - when it comes to anime - I'll say, currently I absolutely LOVE BSD (I'm obsessed). And AOT is one of my all-time favourites as well. Spirited Away is one of my favourite anime movies - it's basically my comfort movie, and this applies to almost every ghibli movie. And when it comes to books- I haven't read many since i mostly stick to fanfics these days lol, but I really enjoyed the Harry Potter series. (I used to be obsessed back in the day).

Okay, this one is quite hard to pick because I love all of them. I suppose I'll have to go with movies.

My favourite BSD character is Dazai. He has been my favourite since s1, and I could write a whole essay on why I love him so much. I love him because he's such a complex character. He's not exactly a good guy, but you understand the reasoning behind his actions even if they're questionable (though I do believe that he is changing for the better). He also adds to the comedic relief of the show while at the same time being one of the most mysterious and terrifying characters, so I love his duality. Other than Dazai, I love Chuuya, Atsushi and Odasaku. (Honestly, 90% of the BSD cast is loveable, so it's kinda hard to pick a favourite)

Well I'm planning to major in Computer Science so following that route, I'd like to work as a software engineer!

I have quite a handful of close friends, but I wouldn't exactly call them my best friends.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

Hey, Kris!! Yes, I did notice that Ango is one of your faves, you're one of the few people I see talking about him! He is very underrated, indeed. I'm pretty excited for his part this season, too! His dynamic with Dazai is actually really interesting, how they're both dealing with their guilt over Odasaku's death and how that drives them.

I loved the first episode of S4! I'm so glad they decided to do untold origins! I love Fukuzawa and Ranpo so much and I think they're condensing the story pretty well so far. I really like the monochrome color aesthetic they went with, too. And those crumbs of baby assassin Odasaku! I don't think any of us are ready for the DOA arc to start, my Lord do anime-onlys have a storm coming sdfghjgfhj. Kuni's big moment is going to be very exciting, though! It's such a good hero moment, his absolute commitment to his ideals.

Also, sorry I missed your birthday again, I confused myself because I was late getting the post out last year dfghjhghj. I hope you've been well! And that you have time to watch S4 soon! *hug*

Hey Katie!! ❤️ Apologies for the late response >.< I was occupied with a lot of things but I'm a little more free now!!

Thank you once again for the Ango set you dedicated to me!! :D💕 I don't talk enough about him but Ango is definitely another interesting and very nuanced character in BSD!! I know Oda and Dazai have a special bond, but I like to believe that Dazai somewhere deep inside still cares about Ango, and is deeply hurt by the way things turned out. We'll even get to see Ango's unresolved guilt in this arc oof :') And their dynamic is certainly interesting and funny at the same time. Ango's trust in Dazai, even going to the lengths of lying because he asked him to...I wish we could see more of their interactions lmao. I want to see them open up to each other too but they're both a little emotionally constipated for that I guess ajsklfslfk.

I also really love the quote you used on the gif set you made!! Even if it was just for a moment, and even if the entire idea was impossible to begin with, Ango seemed to indulge in his feelings and forget about the reality for a second and the underlying hopelessness of it all... :')

I'm happy they went with the untold origins too!! It fits the narrative for the next arc and the episode looks great!! Fukuzawa and Ranpo have such a hilarious dynamic throughout the novel and of course baby assassin Odasaku crumbs are much appreciated 🫶

Omg you're so right?? It's truly impossible to be entirely prepared for the upcoming chaos the arc will bring (good luck to the anime-onlys LOL) :') I'm dreading and yet so excited to see Kunikida's heroic moment I don't know what to do with myself hnnnnhh🥲

Do you have any particular moments you're looking forward to? (Apart from the Fyodor vs Dazai chess board match reveal of course XD)

No worries Katie!! ^^💕 I very much appreciate that you decided to post something for me so thank you for the beautiful set 💖💖💖 I hope to see both the episodes in the next few days so I can go crazy in the tags discuss more freely about the episodes heheh! Warm hugs!!! ❤️

[curry-and-gunpowder]

hii!!

🤭🤭 alright, let me send you a flurry of posts! for fun!!

First thoughts on odasaku? Did you fall hard on your first watch or only after reading the LNs?

First favourite bsd character?

Bsd character that annoyed the hell out of you?

Hi! Omg you sent me so many asks haha, thank you! I'll try to answer them all, but it'll take me a bit.

1. First thoughts on Odasaku:

I actually remember this really well, since I watched the anime first before reading any of the LNs. So episode one of S2 took me completely by surprise. My first thoughts upon seeing Odasaku were:

- Who is this beautiful man?

- Why is this new guy suddenly narrating?

- Hold on, why is Dazai looking at this guy like he's hung the moon?!

- Why am I so into this??

Needless to say, by the end of the Dark Era flashback I was a hardcore Odasaku stan, an Odazai shipper AND a crying mess. Reading the LNs of course only made the feelings worse, because in Asagiri-land we can't have nice things.

2. My first favorite character:

Hmm, tricky, I don't really think I consciously picked a "favorite" until my Odasaku obsession began in S2. I guess the ones I liked most from the start were, unsurprisingly, Atsushi and Dazai. I don’t really "rank" characters in strict terms, but I guess they'd both still be my number 2 after Odasaku.

3. Character that annoyed me:

I can't think of one that "annoyed" me honestly, I find that bsd really introduces all the characters quite well, without having any of them fall into the trope of "hyper annoying anime character that's supposed to be endearing". But I remember being pretty meh about Mori at first. Ironically, since he's now quite high up in my favorites lol.

More to follow ❤️