#three things i was kinda proud of yesterday | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

andvys · 8 months ago

Text

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter eight ⭐︎ Say my name and everything just stops

Warnings: 18+, minors don't interact! jealousy, angst, low self-esteem (kinda?), mentions of the upside down. weed and alcohol consumption. I will not spoiler anything here, so read with caution

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: You blindly began to follow your feelings, hanging onto a hope that died just as quickly as it came.

Word count: 10k+

Author's note: @hellfire--cult and I came up with this whole idea and we kept talking about this moment for weeks and now its finally here, I hope you guys are gonna enjoy it as much as we did hehe

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter

♡

The spring wind blows through the open windows in your room, touching your skin and slightly lifting the ends of your new dress. The smell of vanilla and the floral scent of your perfume lingers in the air. You’re leaning closer to your mirror as you apply your favorite gloss to your lips.

A tingling, exciting feeling bubbles in your stomach, your heart jumping every few seconds or so at the thought of seeing him today.

Steve’s reactions were everything you were hoping for when you teased him at the diner and in his car, yesterday. His blushing cheeks and the wide, darkened eyes filled you with victory after you had placed a kiss upon his flushed skin. You are still not sure what had caused you the sudden rush of courage, but you’re glad that it hit you because the way he looked at you, the way he reacted, the way his breath hitched in his throat finally gave you the last push to do what you had always wanted to do. Today, you’re finally going to give in to your feelings.

The nervous, insecure part of you is telling you that there is still a big chance that he might reject you, that you will ruin this thing between you both by making the final move.

And usually that weak part of your mind would win, it would fill you with enough humiliating images to pull back, to make you rethink your decision, to keep you hiding in the shadows, the way you always did.

But you’re no longer letting it win.

You will do this, even if you might lose your dignity.

Placing the lip gloss back on your vanity, you reach for your favorite necklace, and put it on. You touch up your hair one last time, fixing your bangs before you take a step back, eying the red and white sundress, the little bows on the straps, the dainty flowers on the material, the shortness of it that exposes enough of your skin to drive him crazy… you hope.

‘Just make your move, babe. Do you really think King Steve would reject you?’

Your smile falls a little when Billy’s voice echoes in your mind.

Every memory of your best friend brings a hurtful pang to your heart.

He was the only one who knew about your feelings for Steve and surprisingly he kept encouraging you to ask him out, to make your move.

Would he be proud of you now?

Or would he still make fun of you for liking someone like Steve?

You step away from the mirror and walk over to the window, closing it before you leave your room and make your way downstairs. Eddie isn’t picking you up for once, even though he called you three times already, asking if he should come pick you up and if you’re truly feeling good enough to drive yourself again – you are. The headaches are gone, the dizziness is gone too. All that is left are the nightmares and the sudden rushes of anxiety but you are okay, you feel okay.

You walk over to the dresser in your hallway, reaching inside the key bowl to retrieve your car keys when something else catches your eye. The one single key, lying in there, you reach for it, furrowing your brows as you trace your finger along the metal, letting it fall in your palm.

You still remember the day when Max had showed up at your house, asking for you to take Billy’s car before Neil would destroy it in a moment of rage.

‘He’d want you to have it anyway.’ She said as she handed you the keys.

You remember how you broke down crying the moment you got into the driver's seat. You missed your best friend and it felt so wrong to sit in the place that once belonged to him.

You got the windshield fixed and anything else that needed to be repaired, before you parked it in your garage, planning to never open the gate again and just leave the car there until Max would ask for it back. And, you did leave it there, for a few weeks at least.

Your car broke down on a hot Friday afternoon and the mechanic at the local shop told you that it would take a few weeks to get it fixed. You walked and used the bus for a few days, and then the rain and the storms crashed upon Hawkins, giving you no choice but to take the blue Camaro.

Max even joked about it, she told you that it was Billy who caused your car to break down and who somehow let it rain and storm over the town so you would finally take his beloved car out for a ride because it’s just too pretty to be hidden and locked away in a dark, cold garage.

You’d sometimes drive around at night, when the streets were empty and no one was around.

When you visited your sister in Indianapolis, you took his car.

But now it’s been a while, the last time you sat behind that steering wheel was right before the apocalypse almost hit the town.

A sigh falls from your lips as you stare at the key.

“Not today,” you murmur as you place it back where it laid before and reach for your keys.

The drive to Eddie’s new place isn’t a long one, he only lives a few streets away from you now, it would only be a ten minute walk but you desperately waited for the moment when you could finally drive again, and you didn’t want to pass up on the opportunity today.

You missed this, sitting behind the steering wheel, instead of the passenger seat, longing to be the one in control. You missed picking the music yourself – not that Eddie’s music taste is a bad one, you just need a mix of everything, not just rock and heavy metal, sometimes you just need a girly pop song – not that you would ever admit it to him.

When you arrive at your destination and you pull up to Eddie’s driveway, you notice that Steve’s car isn’t there yet. Only Jonathan’s car is parked next to Eddie’s Impala.

Steve is never late, yesterday being the first time that he was the last one to arrive, so he is either still waiting for Robin or… running late is his new thing.

“There she is!” Eddie chuckles as opens the front door at the same time as you get out of your car, “and she’s here in one piece!”

A laugh tumbles from your lips as you close the door and lock your car before you make your way over to him, eying the new shirt he’s wearing – which is just another band tee that you have never heard of before. His curly hair up in a bun and a can of beer in his hand.

“I’m a good driver, what are you talking about, Eds?”

He furrows his brows, lips curling into an amused smile, “are you?”

You walk up the steps to his porch, greeting him with an eye roll, “you know what, next time I’ll pick you up.”

He smirks, using his index finger to point at your car.

“What, with your baby Mustang over there?”

You squint your eyes at him, “nope, I’ll take the hidden gem in my garage.”

“Wait what… What hidden gem?”

“You’ll find out,” you wink at him, trying to brush past him when he stops you, placing his hand on your arm, he pulls you back softly.

“Wait.”

You raise your brows at him, “yes?”

He’s got the twinkle in his eyes, the one he always has when he’s happy about something. His lip twitches, pale cheeks slowly changing color, he’s barely able to contain his excitement as he bounces on his feet.

“Guess who scored a date?”

Your eyes widen, lips parting as you remember the pretty waitress from the diner.

Eddie is blushing, lips now curling into a full smile.

“Oh my god, really?” You ask as a grin appears on your face.

“Yeah! I’m gonna take her out tomorrow night, I can’t fucking wait, sweets.” He says with a dreamy look in his eyes. “She was so sweet a-and fuck… she’s gorgeous, don’t know how she said yes to me.”

You frown at him, reaching your hand out to pinch his cheek, “you’re a handsome, sweet boy, Edward, now shush. You’re gonna knock her off her feet. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

His eyes soften, he rubs the back of his neck before his fingers trace the scar on the side – you know that it’s now an insecurity of his, just like it is one of yours. Scars litter your skin from where a bat had left a gnarly wound on the back of your shoulder, from where Jason had hurt you, from where he had left reminders for you that he was the one who did this to you.

But your scars aren’t nearly half as bad as all the ones on his skin.

“I’ve never been on a date before,” he murmurs, eyes flashing with doubt.

“So? It’s gonna be even more special then,” you shrug.

“I just don’t wanna mess it up.”

“You won’t,” you smile at him, “you’ve got that special charm, one that makes others like you right away, you’re funny and you’re sweet, now stop doubting yourself or I’ll kick your ass and hunt down every asshole who ever made you feel otherwise.”

He chuckles at your words, though his eyes are still soft as he looks at you. He doesn’t doubt you, he knows that you would actually hunt down every name on the list of people who hurt him.

“Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good,” you say, sternly.

“Good,” he nods.

You stare at each other for a moment before you both burst into giggles. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and he pulls you inside his house, narrowing his eyes as he takes in your dress.

“Who’d you dress up for, sweets?” He asks, “there’s no hot guys here.”

“Well, aren’t you humble?”

“No hot guys besides me, of course,” he corrects himself after clearing his throat, smirking at you.

You only shake your head in response.

You pass by the kitchen and the big shelf that was specifically customized for Wayne’s mug collection. Vinyls are on the walls in the long hallway that leads to the living room where you hear the chatter of your friends and the faint music that sounds through the house.

The smell of weed already lingering in the air.

The sound of Nancy’s giggle, followed by a voice you hadn’t heard in a while makes you furrow your brows.

“Argyle is back?”

Your surprised voice along with the wide eyes you look at him with make him chuckle. He knew you weren’t paying attention when he told you about it days back. You were too distracted by whatever daydream you were stuck in as he let both you and Steve know that Argyle was coming back to spend the summer in Hawkins before going off to college in September – something that Eddie definitely won’t be doing, he won’t be going to college, he won’t be going anywhere, at least not now, not yet, maybe not ever, even though it’s all he ever wanted.

He walked the stupid stage, he snatched his diploma and he finally flipped Higgins the bird, despite the glares, despite the whispers of the people who still blamed him for what had happened weeks back but it doesn’t matter, he tells himself. It doesn’t matter what they say or think because he got people who believed him, people who care about him, people who were willing to fight for him, people who are worth staying for.

“Yeah, he’s here the whole summer.”

“Ooh, means we’re gonna get high a lot, cool,” you giggle.

“Like we don’t do that all that time,” Eddie rolls his eyes, though a smile tugs at his lips as he pushes towards the living room, your feet carrying you closer and closer to your friends.

Despite Steve not being here yet, you already feel the rush of excitement mixed with the nervousness of what you plan on doing, flushing through your veins.

Your eyes first fall on Jonathan and Nancy who are standing by the door that leads out into Eddie’s backyard, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, a smile tugging at her lips when she sees you.

“Hi!” She waves at you, a friendly look on her face.

“Hey,” you smile at her before you look over at her boyfriend, greeting him as well. You then turn your head to your right, your smile widening when your eyes meet Argyle’s already very dazed ones.

He stands up from his seat on the couch, his hair falling in front of his face a little, he opens his arms, revealing his Bob Marley shirt to you.

“Well look at what the cat dragged in,” he jokes as he steps towards you, “come here, chica.”

You chuckle, leaving Eddie’s side to greet Argyle, who instantly pulls you into a tight hug. The smell of weed enveloping you, right away.

“I didn’t know you’d be back so soon!”

“So soon?” He slurs, patting your head when you pull back again, chuckling when you swat his hand away. “You didn’t miss me?” He jokes as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, just the way Eddie did before, he pulls something out of his pocket, handing it to you, “here, got you a little gift from California.”

Your eyes lighten up in amusement, a smile tugging at your lips as you look at the blunt he’s holding, you take it, holding it up as you look up at him with a grin, “why thanks.”

“You gotta share that one with me,” Jonathan grins at you, lazily.

“You’ve had enough already,” Nancy rolls her eyes, though not without a smile on her lips. She pats his chest, “come on, let’s go outside.”

“Yeah, you guys go ahead, I’m gonna grab some more drinks,” Eddie says before he leaves the living room.

You all step out into the backyard, walking over to the little fire pit where the flames are already glowing, surrounded by the comfortable seats. The sound of water flowing from the stream filling the air with a fresh scent, the smell of flowers and the trees giving you a sense of peace.

Eddie’s backyard is comforting and nice, despite being close to the forest, it’s making you feel safe. He wouldn’t have this now if he hadn’t been dragged into a world of darkness – unlike you, he didn’t grow up in wealth, he didn’t have a fancy house, a fancy backyard with a pool. No. Eddie grew up in a lonesome house, one that certainly wasn’t as luxurious as yours or the one he lives in now. The house he grew up in was haunted by painful memories of his mother that he lost at a way too young age and his father who came and went as he pleased, it was the only thing that he had, the only thing he called his own, but that was taken from him too and he had no choice but to move in with his Uncle Wayne, who had done everything to give him a home – and now, Eddie gave him that back, he gave Wayne a home, a nice house with a nice roof over his head, a garden that he always wanted to have. Eddie had tried to keep the upside down a secret, he didn’t want to talk about what was out there, he didn’t want to worry him, he didn’t want to tell him where all the money actually came from but Wayne isn’t stupid and Eddie isn’t exactly the best at keeping secrets from the people he loves and cares about.

You wonder what you would have told your parents if they were still here – would you have told them the truth about what actually happened at the Creel house? Or would you have kept it all a secret? You are certainly much better at keeping secrets hidden. Eddie couldn’t even look Wayne in the eyes when he told him that the bite marks on his skin came from a rabid dog and not from interdimensional bats.

Something cold touches your shoulder, making you flinch in surprise. You tilt your head up, meeting the eyes of your best friend again, “where’s your head at, sweets?” He chuckles, holding the can of diet pepsi out to you.

With furrowed brows, you look down at the drink and reach for it, “thanks,” you murmur, “and uh, nowhere. I’m just fascinated by your backyard.”

His dimples show when a laugh escapes him, he takes a seat beside you, snatching away the blunt from your lap, he places it between his lips and uses his red lighter to light it up. He lets out a content sigh as he leans back, puffing out the smoke into the sky before he takes a look around, “it’s nice isn’t it?”

You nod, pulling the tab on your pepsi, it opens with a pop.

“It’s better than mine.”

He turns his head to look at you, a bewildered look on his face, “you’re crazy, sweets. You got a pool.”

“You got one too!” You chuckle, pointing to the pool that has yet to be used, it’s warm out, not hot yet.

“Yeah, well yours is fucking huge, and you got a hot tub too!”

“You got a hot tub, chica?” Argyle gasps from your right, “oh, you’re rich rich.”

“Correction, my parents were rich.”

“Correction, we’re all rich now,” Jonathan adds, pointing at you with a dazed smile.

“Rich isn’t exactly the term I would use,” Nancy mumbles as she takes a sip of her soda.

“Then what term would you use, Wheeler?” Eddie asks, shaking his head at her, “enlighten us.”

Nancy clears her throat, placing her elbow on the wooden armrest, “we’re taken care of.”

Jonathan snorts, putting his hand on her thigh as he gives her an amused smile, while she already rolls her eyes at whatever is about to leave his mouth – there’s no annoyance behind her eyes though, no tension in her body from where he touched her, unlike with Steve, who she always looked tense and irritated with. Back then you didn’t understand why, there were so many questions in your mind when you watched them and when she left him – how could anyone be irritated with Steve? How could anyone be tense with someone that provides so much love and warmth to the people he so deeply cares about? How could she leave him? How could she break his heart? Who could ever hurt Steve Harrington?

“Just admit it, we’re rich.”

A groan echoes through the backyard, one that doesn’t belong to Eddie, Nancy or anyone else sitting in the circle. You all turn your heads towards the house, finding a very annoyed Robin making her way over to you, a six pack of beers in her hand, sunglasses perched on her nose even though the sun is starting to go down already.

Eddie isn’t surprised at her barging into his home, she does it all the time, to him, to you, to Steve, he doesn’t mind it though.

You straighten your back, holding your drink tighter as you look away from her, waiting for Steve to walk through the door.

The feelings inside of you start to rise again, your heart picking up the pace as your skin starts burning from the excitement.

Robin plops down in the seat next to Eddie, placing the beers on the ground as she slumps back, sighing loudly.

Everyone’s watching her, expecting a rant already but you’re still fixated on the door, waiting for him.

“Buckley, why so angry?”

She pulls her sunglasses up into her hair, turning to face him, “I’m glad you asked,” she murmurs as she reaches for one of the beers, “Dingus ditched me, so I had to walk all the way here!” She throws her arms up dramatically.

You furrow your brows at her words, the burning on your skin beginning to die down just as fast as it came.

Argyle and Jonathan chuckle at her.

“You live 3 blocks away from here…” Nancy mumbles.

“Not the point, Nance,” she argues, glaring at her friend.

“Wait, so Steve isn’t coming?” Jonathan slurs.

Your eyes are wide and hopeful, your hand clutching the can tighter as you dig your feet into the grass beneath you, a weird feeling settling in the pit of your stomach.

“Wetting his dick with Heidi seems more fucking important today,” she grumbles, rolling her eyes as she raises the beer to her lips.

Your heart drops.

The burning in your skin disappears completely as the fire is replaced by ice, the coldness of it freezing your whole body, stopping your heart and taking the false hope away as it kills every feeling that had taken home inside of you just seconds ago.

Your eyes are stuck on her like you’re waiting, waiting for her to laugh and say it was a joke, that he will be here soon, that he isn’t out with some other girl after what happened between you and him yesterday.

“Whoa, what?” Eddie mumbles, holding his hands up, “so… he’s on a date with the girl he didn’t want to keep seeing?”

“Yep.”

Every ounce of excitement is now replaced by the sickness in your stomach, the lump in your throat that makes you struggle to breathe.

What were you thinking?

That the game you played wasn't just a game to him? That it was something more than that? That he wanted you just the way you always wanted him? That he could ever feel something for you?

You don’t know whether you want to laugh at yourself or cry.

How saddening it is to long for someone who was forced to like you.

While you were getting ready, making yourself look pretty for him, thinking that he might like you in this dress – he was getting ready to take out another girl, a girl that he chose to like.

You slowly slump back in your seat when Eddie’s laughter pulls you back into reality. You blink, masking the shocked, pained look on your face with a relaxed one as you take a sip of your drink, hoping that it will get rid of the lump sitting in your throat – it doesn’t. Nothing does.

Your friends move on to another topic, while you stay there, where you will stay for a while now. The pain of the rejection that has never even taken place, slowly sinking in and everything around you begins to suffocate you – the dress you are wearing, the necklace around your neck, even the presence of your friends.

You don’t want to be here any longer, you need to be alone.

But you can’t go, not now, not yet.

It would be too soon, too obvious and they can’t know, no one can know about your feelings for Steve, about how much it hurts to feel that way for him.

So you hide the pain as best as you can, you nod along to your friends' conversation, you speak and you laugh when you have to, even when everything inside of you wants you to cry both out of sadness and anger.

You’re not even angry at him, you couldn’t be angry at him even if you tried to be. He doesn’t know about your feelings – if he did, he wouldn’t have filled you with false hope, you know he wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t string you along, you know he’s not the type of person to do something like that, not even to you. But you really thought that you had something, that there was something between you, that’s why you let your walls crumble, that’s why you started acting upon your feelings, that’s why you were ready to do more than just the subtle touches and the flirtations.

You wait, you wait for the right moment to leave, when everyone is distracted enough, you get up, after whispering an apology, a lie into Eddie’s ear, knowing that he doesn’t believe you, that he will probably call you later or even show up to check on you. But he lets you go.

And as you leave your friends, making your way back into the house, their laughter echoes in your ears, their happy voices and the cheerfulness they’re all feeling, that you were supposed to feel too.

You blink back the tears, not wanting them to fall just yet.

You make your way back to your car, not wasting a second to start it and drive home, your vision blurred and your throat hurting from how much you want to cry.

How foolish it was of you to think that you could ever stand a chance – there was never one to begin with. You will always be the one in the shadows, the one to secretly watch him, the one to secretly want him, the one with the jealousy and the heartache, the one wishing to be anyone but herself because maybe then, he would want you too.

The smell of smoke from the campfire is now lingering on your clothes and in your hair, tears are now falling freely, ruining the makeup that you have spent hours on, the makeup that you can’t wait to wash off now.

You don’t even want to think about him.

You don’t want to ask yourself what he’s doing now.

He touched you so softly, so subtly, and yet it did everything to set your insides on fire, to make you feel special, even if only for a short moment.

Now he is touching someone else, in far more special ways.

A frustrated sigh falls from your lips when you step inside your home, it’s cold and empty, something that you have felt like for a very long time until he started the fire inside of you, only to make it die again… and all without his knowledge.

You walk up the stairs and past your room, going straight into the bathroom, feeling the need to wash away the day, as though it could ease the aching in your chest. You start the shower before you turn to the sink, not even bothering to look at your reflection in the mirror, it would only make you feel more pathetic.

You can feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks, the quivering in your bottom lip.

You hate this, you hate the sadness that you shouldn’t be feeling in the first place.

You got no reason to be sad, you should have put your feelings aside, knowing that nothing would ever come out of it.

It was all so obvious, it was just teasing, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing ever happened, so why would it happen now? He just found another way of messing with you, so that you two wouldn’t go at each other's throats like before.

You just have to go back. No more teasing like this. No more letting yourself get sucked into delusions. He is just having fun while you crave something more with him and get hopeful.

You aren’t having fun. You wanted more.

You have no choice but to go back to how you were before this… thing started.

Once your makeup is off and your dress is now laying on the bathroom floor, you step inside the shower, letting the warmth envelope you, hoping for a sense of comfort from it.

Standing there for a moment, you let the water rain upon your skin, matching the pace of your tears that you’re willing away.

You will hunt Billy in the afterlife for making you believe that King Steve could ever want you.

You use your scented shampoo, hoping that it will get rid of the smell of smoke in your hair. You love campfire’s but you can’t stand the stench it leaves on your clothes and your hair.

Your hands run over your smooth skin as you wash your body, reminding you of the fact that you even shaved this morning – you couldn’t feel more stupid than you do right now.

Despite the loudness of your own voice cursing at you inwardly and the water hitting the glass, you hear the sound of your doorbell going off – multiple times.

“What the fuck,” you murmur in confusion.

It keeps ringing again and again – once, twice and it stops after a third time before it turns into rapid knocking.

You know it isn’t Eddie, he wouldn’t even have the patience to ring your doorbell and wait for you to open, he’d just barge right in.

You’d choose to ignore it if the person outside wasn’t so goddamn persistent.

You turn off the shower, squeezing the water from your hair before you get out, and wrap a towel around your body. The mirror is fogged, as the rest of the room is, you open the door and step out into the hallway, that now feels colder than before.

The knocking continues, filling you with anger.

Who shows up at night, knocking like a mad man?

Maybe you shouldn’t make your way downstairs now, maybe you shouldn’t open the door to whoever it is on the other side. It could be anyone or anything but you doubt that Vecna came back from the dead to knock on doors now and hunt you of all people – he could have done that weeks back, you went through enough trauma, he could have easily chosen you but even he didn’t want you.

You rip open the door, ready to curse and yell at whoever is terrorizing you at this hour but every word gets caught in your throat and even your breathing halts for a second as your glassy eyes meet the hazel ones that you have been missing all day. Frustration and anger swirling inside them, blazing fire raging behind his eyes. His cheeks are slightly flushed, his chest rising up and down heavily as he stands on your porch, looking better than ever.

“Steve?” His name tumbles out of your mouth before you can stop it as you stare at him in confusion.

He eyes you up and down, taking in the sight of your exposed skin that is still dripping with water before he clenches his jaw, raising his hand to run his fingers through his hair, tugging at it.

Steve Harrington is fucked. He is utterly fucked. You have cursed him in every way possible, he can’t get you out of his mind, he can’t get you out of his system and the thought that you were only playing with him drove him insane. His hunger for you made him desperate, desperate for release.

So in his state of frustration and desperation, he called up Heidi, thinking that a date and sex with a girl he had been with before would help him move on and stop thinking about you but who was he fooling. He couldn’t even kiss her when she leaned in to greet him with her lips, he dodged her. He couldn’t even listen to the things she was telling him after they ordered their drinks. He couldn’t care less about her. All he could think about was you. All he wanted was you. He wanted your lips to kiss him, he wanted your hands to touch him, he wanted your body under his and the more he thought about it, the more he stopped caring about a possible humiliation after he’d finally make a move on you, he needed you, and he needed to try – if you’d reject him, then so be it, at least he would know and not live with the what if’s in his head.

He canceled the date in the middle of it, not caring about how messed up that was. He drove her home and without a second thought, he drove here, he came to you.

And now, you’re standing in front of him, in nothing but a towel, water rolling down your soft skin, big eyes filled with confusion, lips parted, lips that he wants to kiss until he grows breathless.

The sight in front of him does little to make any of this easier for him. You look like you’ve just walked out of one the dreams he had about you.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he murmurs under his breath, surprising you when he invites himself into your home, brushing past you with an intensity that almost knocks you off your feet.

You blink, turning around abruptly, a bewildered look replacing your confused one.

As you take in the sight of him, your sadness begins to dissolve as the anger you started to miss floods through your veins the longer you look at him.

You slam the door shut when the wind causes goosebumps to rise on your skin, you hold the towel tighter against your body as you glare at him, “what the fuck?”

“I have to be the one to say that!” He argues.

“Excuse me?” You scoff, your face now burning with rage. Every second that passes now makes you forget about the tears you just shed over him, irritation sparking inside of you so wildly that you want nothing more than to kick him out of your house for behaving that way towards you for no reason. “Weren’t you on a date with… Heidi?”

Steve clenches his jaw at the mocking voice, at the smirk now tugging on your lips. He chuckles, though not in amusement, he points a finger at you, “see, that’s what I’m fucking talking about!”

Your brows knit together at his outburst, the fire in his eyes growing stronger and bigger.

“Harrington, if you came to yell nonesense at me, just fucking leave!” You roll your eyes and turn away from him, making your way back towards the stairs.

But his scoff stops you.

“Oh, so you keep running away huh!? Didn’t you already get over that!?”

You turn around with nothing but anger boiling inside of you, “running away!? From what!?”

This should have been enough to make him turn around and leave, because clearly nothing changed, clearly this is still just a game to you – but he has hope, and he is desperate enough to throw every bit of his dignity away and risk something.

“Oh, don’t play fucking dumb right now. Acting like that for two weeks and pretending to be stupid is not a good look on you, Blondie.”

You take in a sharp breath, digging your fingers into your towel as you frown at him.

What does he want from you?

Why did he come here?

Was the date so bad, was the sex so awful that he had to come here to torture you?

Without another word, you turn around and you stomp up the stairs, not wanting to see him, not wanting to hear his voice anymore.

Your heart starts pounding in your chest again, and you can’t help but wonder – did he figure you out? Did he figure out your feelings? Is that why he is here? To confront you about them? To reject you?

You feel more and more stupid about what you had wanted to do when you woke up this morning.

Just when your feet carry you up to the second floor, and you rush across the hallway to walk into your room, his footsteps echo behind you, making you more irritated than before. You turn around to face him, but before you can even say anything, Steve is suddenly right in front of you, and his hands reach out to grab your waist, he pushes you against the wall behind you, gently, careful not to hurt you.

The gasp that falls from your lips startles you. His hands that touch the only thing that covers your body leaving your skin on fire. Your heart rate picks up so rapidly that it nearly steals your breath away. You look up into his golden brown orbs, the ones that are nearly black as he steps even closer, invading your space completely, making you breathe in the scent of his cologne, the one that has butterflies swirling in your stomach.

He catches you off guard completely.

You feel so vulnerable, so exposed as you stand there, caged in by his arms, his breath on your skin, his eyes that are filled with so much hunger.

The words die on your tongue, and yet, after you breathe in more of his scent, you open your mouth to speak.

“Shut up, Blondie… Just shut up for a second,” he murmurs, interrupting whatever words you had prepared to lie to him with.

His right hand leaves your waist, inching closer to your stomach as his fingers trace the hem of your towel, drool already forming in his mouth at the sight of you, he is ready to take you, ready to devour you and make you scream his name before he fucks you for only this time.

He notices the way your chest is moving, the way your breathing stutters.

“W-What are you doing, perv?” You stutter as you watch him play with the opening of your towel.

He can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at your insult.

“Perv? Are you going to continue to play fucking dumb?”

“Dumb? You are the dumb one if you think that I’m going to be the one to break into your teasing.”

Steve’s eyes flash with satisfaction.

This is what he wanted – to hear you admit that you were playing that game with him after all and not because you were playing him and stringing him along just to turn him down to gain something from it, whatever it might be. No. You were doing just what he was hoping for, all along.

You want him just as much as he wants you and that’s all he needs to know.

You roll your eyes at him, turning your head as you try to push your way out of his grasp but before you can even step away from him, his hands stop you but not on your waist this time. His large hands cup your cheeks, making you freeze. You stare at him wide eyed when he brings you closer, and you can’t even react before his whole body is suddenly pressed against yours, your heartbeat lurches into your throat.

As though his touch wasn’t shocking enough, his next move almost causes you to collapse, because now it isn’t only his body against yours, his hands on your cheeks or his breath on your skin, now it’s his lips… his lips on yours, his lips moving against yours in desperation as he takes every last of your breath and makes it his own.

You can’t do anything, you can’t move, you can’t breathe, you can’t even blink as you stare at him – how his eyes are closed and his cheeks are flushed, the furrowed brows as he kisses you with a kind of passion no one has ever kissed you with before.

Steve is kissing you.

Steve Harrington is kissing you.

His lips are moving roughly against yours, his hands holding your cheeks so softly, yet with an intensity.

This is all you ever wanted, to feel his touch and his lips on yours but you are too stunned to move, too surprised to kiss him back right now, too distracted wondering if this is real or not.

Along with the shock, you feel the slightest bit of insecurity flooding through you because even though he is kissing you, you can’t help but wonder why. Why isn’t he with Heidi? Why isn’t he kissing her right now? Did she turn him down? Did he come here because he just needed someone? Because he knew that you would fall for this? Or is this just another way for him to tease you?

Those questions prompt you to push him away, forcing him to break the kiss that he was so deeply lost in.

You notice the way he begrudgingly pulls away, the way he seems so drawn to your lips, the way his brows furrow in confusion now, his face is flushed and his pupils dilated as he looks at you with nothing but desperation in his eyes – he isn’t teasing, he wants you, he wants you right now and isn’t that all that matters? That he wants you?

His eyes stare into yours as he is breathing heavily. A flash of rejection takes over his features and by the look in his eyes, you can tell that he is beginning to get lost in his anxious thoughts – thoughts that you quickly shut down by making the move that he just made. You cup his cheeks and you pull him down, closing your eyes as you slam your lips against his for the very first time.

Unlike you, he wastes no second to reciprocate the kiss, a sigh of content leaving him as he presses you back against the wall.

Warmth blooms in your stomach, one that doesn’t stay the same temperature for long because the moment he deepens the kiss, the moment his hands hold you tighter and his knee parts your legs, sliding his thigh in between yours as the kiss gets rougher and rougher, you feel the warmth evolving into a deeper, burning sensation – a fire inside of you that only he can mend.

You can’t believe that this is happening, that something that you had been craving for years is now here.

And Steve, he feels his heart pounding in his chest from the rush, from the adrenaline, from his desperation that grows bigger and stronger when he feels just how much you want him as your lips move roughly with his.

You're hesitant with your touch, but when he grabs your face and pulls you even tighter against his body, his thigh pressing stronger against your core, you can’t help but throw your arms around his neck, digging your fingers into the hair that you’ve always wanted to touch.

You can feel him smirking against your lips when you moan into the kiss, which prompts you to tug at his hair and press your tongue against his bottom lip.

He welcomes it into his mouth so eagerly, his tongue now clashing against yours as his palms slide down to your waist while your hands reach for the front of his shirt, fisting the material tightly as you begin to drag him into your room.

You both know, you both feel where this is going, what this is leading to – what the past few weeks have been leading to.

You want this, you need this, you need him, even if just for tonight.

And you know, you already know that you will be done for, that he will ruin you for anyone else but you couldn’t care less, right now. Especially when he kisses you with so much roughness, everything about this setting all your insides on fire, leaving your skin burning and yet aching for more.

Steve is careful not to step on your bare feet as you lead him backwards into a different room. Excitement bubbles in his stomach and he grows even more breathless than before, he pulls away and breaks the kiss but doesn’t hesitate to latch his lips onto your neck, kissing and biting your flesh, “I fucking hate you, Blondie. I hate that I want you so much.”

Your lashes flutter as you close your eyes, tilting your head to the side as you feel your stomach and your heart fluttering at his touch, at his lips on your skin but especially at his words.

Your knees grow weak and a needy whimper falls from your puffy lips.

All that echoes in your mind now is I want you. I want you. I want you.

You don’t even care about the other things he said to you, you only care about the three little words you have only ever dreamt of before.

You almost fall when you feel the back of your legs hitting your bed, but he keeps you upright, not pushing you down just yet. He keeps nibbling on your neck, kissing, biting, sucking as he breathes heavily against you, growing harder against your stomach.

“Couldn’t even finish the fucking date, couldn’t do anything cause I kept thinking about you, Blondie,” he speaks into your neck, fingers now dangerously close to your bare skin behind the towel.

Your heart nearly explodes at his words and you can’t help but sigh in relief, knowing that nothing happened between him and Heidi. And all because of you.

“You drive me fucking crazy, I want to rip the towel right off–”

“Then do!” You whine, not caring about how eager and desperate you sound, “show me how much you hate me, Stevie.”

He pulls away from your neck after placing another wet kiss to your skin, strands of your hair getting caught in his as he faces you again, with flushed cheeks and almost black eyes he looks at you and takes in the sight of you, the pout on your lips, the flustered look on your face, big eyes that you are begging him with.

He doesn’t even bother to look around the room, just caring about the bed behind you.

He rips the towel off your body, letting it fall to the ground, his hands find your bare waist that he grips tightly as he throws you on the bed, smirking at the gasp that leaves your lips again.

Without hesitating to, he reaches for the hem of his shirt and rips it off.

Just like back then on the boat, when he took his shirt off before he jumped into the water, you stare at his chest, almost drooling at the delicious sight in front of you. His broad shoulders, the scar around his neck that makes him look even hotter, the hairs on his chest, the muscles in his arms that have visibly gotten bigger since high school. You bite your lip as your eyes move down, almost whining when you see the bulge in his tight jeans.

You wish you could run your finger down his chest and his stomach, tracing every little scar that the bats have left behind, but instead, you push yourself up, blushing at the fact that you are completely bare in front of him. You reach for his belt, fingers beginning to fumble with the metal when he stops you with a simple touch and a headshake.

“None of that,” he murmurs as he leans over, his hands digging between your ass and the mattress as he suddenly pulls you to the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees before you, he throws your legs over his shoulder and looks up at you with hooded eyes, “I need to hear you first.”

You nearly combust when you feel his breath on your pussy and his lips on your inner thighs. A whimper falling from your mouth as you try to close your legs out of instinct, blushing even harder than before.

“You’re fucking soaked,” he smirks, holding your thighs open as he teasingly slips a finger through your folds, “all for me, huh?”

You don’t answer but you don’t need to, the loud moan that you let out when he dives right into you with his tongue, gives him everything he needs to know.

He moans in content as he grabs your ass roughly, eyes rolling back when he tastes you for the first time, he almost starts drooling over you, finding pleasure in this.

He teasingly licks a stripe up from your entrance to your clit, circling the tip of his tongue around your already aching nub as he uses his fingers to part your lips.

You scrunch up your face as his tongue pleases you in ways your fingers never could, sighs and whimpers start escaping you as he now presses his thumb against your clit and he starts eating you out, his moans vibrating against you.

Your mouth falls open as your back arches in pleasure, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as you fall apart completely.

No words are spoken as you both just enjoy this moment of bliss, him getting lost in you, you getting lost in the pleasure he blesses you with.

You focus on everything and also on nothing – his whimpers send shivers through you, his tongue that he fucks you with making you gasp and drool, and despite the heaviness in your eyes, you manage to open them, wanting, needing to see him.

He eats you out slowly, yet desperately, fingers and tongue now working together to unravel you. His eyes are closed and he keeps moaning and whimpering as saliva runs down his chin. He looks so content, so pleased from only this.

Steve curls his fingers inside of you as he keeps his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles on it.

Tears of pleasure prickle in your eyes as needy sounds keep escaping you. You hold the sheets even tighter now, closing your legs around his head, caging him in between them.

Steve finally opens his eyes, they darken even more now when he sees how you are falling apart for him, it only prompts him to fuck you even harder with his tongue and his two fingers.

Your moans and whimpers are enough to drive him crazy, enough to make the erection in his pants feel painful but he wants more, he needs to hear his name falling from your lips and he gets what he wants only seconds later when your body grows tense and your back arches again as a tear rolls down your cheek.

“Steve!” You nearly scream as you come undone, writhing beneath his touch.

You tilt your head to the side, bringing your hand up to your face, you bite your teeth into your knuckles as hot tears run down your flushed cheeks.

Steve laps at your pussy, moans still falling from his mouth. Only as you whimper weakly does he pull away from you, but not without giving your clit another teasing lick, causing you to spasm which only makes him chuckle darkly.

He carefully removes your legs from his shoulders and lets go of you before he rises back to his full height.

You instantly press your legs together, breathing heavily as you try to calm down from the orgasm he just gave you.

What Steve didn’t do before was take in the sight of your bare body, and now as he does it, he has to swallow harshly, his dick twitching in his jeans, begging for release. He finds himself aching for you, even more than before, he not only wants you, he needs you in ways he can’t even describe.

He watches the way your chest glistens with sweat, your nipples hard from the pleasure that curses through your body, your eyes are shut, your brows pulled together. He licks his lips before he bites down as his eyes trace every inch of your skin, the scars that make you look even more attractive.

It takes everything in him not to drop to his knees and taste you once again.

He needs you, he needs to feel you wrapped around his dick, he needs to hear your moans as he fills you to the brim, he needs to fuck you.

Steve unbuckles his belt, the metal clinking against each other, causing you to open your eyes at the sound.

You look at him through your glassy eyes, pushing yourself up on your elbows as you watch him unbutton his pants but before he pushes them down, he reaches for his wallet in his back pocket and you watch him curiously.

He opens it to take out the condom he had prepared for a different… less exciting occasion. He hastily pushes his pants and boxers down, his dick slaps against his stomach and he fails to notice the way your eyes widen or the way your lips part in surprise at the sight, at the size of him. He steps out of his shoes, cursing under his breath as he pushes them aside before he uses both hands to part your legs, getting on the mattress.

Before he rips the foil apart, he looks into your eyes, wanting your consent first but no words have to leave his mouth because you are the first to make the move, you sit up slightly, taking the tiny foil pack from his fingers, surprising him by bringing it up to your lips and ripping it open with your teeth.

Despite the streaks of tears on your skin, the fucked out look in your eyes, the shakiness in your body, you look at him so dangerously.

And he can’t do anything but watch you in awe for a moment, how you wrap your much smaller hand around his dick, pressing your thumb against his slit to tease him.

“O-Oh fuck…” He shudders, eyes nearly closing at only that.

You bite your bottom lip, trying not to drool as you roll the condom over his length. You look up at him again to find him staring at you with flushed cheeks and lust in his eyes. It’s dark in the room, but you can see each other just well enough, the moon shines brightly into your room tonight.

You can’t even help yourself when you cup his cheeks and pull him down for a kiss, closing your eyes when your lips meet again.

He grabs your waist, making you crawl back until you’re far enough on the mattress for your head to hit the pillows when he pushes you down. He presses his hands on your knees and you part your legs eagerly for him.

His fingers trace your skin as he brings his hand up, passing your hip bone and your waist and grabbing your boob with roughness as he slips his tongue into your mouth, wanting you to taste yourself. He pinches your nipple with his fingers, smirking against you when you whine and writhe underneath him.

You reach your hand down, not wanting to waste any more seconds, you wrap your hand around his dick again, jerking him off a few times before you line him up with your entrance, whining desperately again.

Steve breaks the kiss and opens his eyes to look at you, “you’re so desperate for my cock, huh?” He breathes, still playing with your nipple.

You raise yourself up a little, pecking his lips again as you nod your head.

He can’t believe that you are this needy for him, that you are giving him those eyes.

If only he knew how many times you have dreamt of this moment.

“Please,” you whimper.

“Please what, Blondie?” He teases you as his hand now slides down your stomach, fingertips brushing your clit, making you shiver.

You blink and you breathe heavily as you place your hand on his shoulder, “please fuck me, Steve… Please…”

A satisfied smirk appears on his face, your desperation making him feel smug – but the smugness quickly dissolves into something else when he pushes inside you and feels your tightness around him for the very first time.

You breathe in harshly and hold it, shutting your eyes when you feel him stretching you out. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment, not his tongue, not his fingers, nothing. The stretch is both painful and delicious, it makes you gasp but it also makes you drool as he inches deeper and deeper.

Steve can only curse and whimper in pleasure as he watches his cock disappearing inside of you, he doesn’t push in fully though, too scared to hurt you.

He bites his bottom lip, bottoming out again before he pushes back in, listening to the wet sound and the neediness in your voice as you moan.

“M-More,” you whine, your eyes now watching him, “please…”

His dick twitches at the sound of that and at the look on your face.

“Fuck me, Steve.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, he pushes in deeper than before, until he’s buried inside of you completely. Usually, he would take a moment to catch his breathe, to adjust to the tightness but he is too eager, too desperate for this. So he grabs your hips and he starts thrusting, slowly at first, not wanting to hurt you.

You gasp, hands finding the sheets beneath you again as your eyes follow the movement of his hips, watching the way his dick slides in and out of you. You throw your head back and look at his face next.

Strands of his hair fall in front of his eyes, his lips are puffy from all the kissing, his cheeks are flushed. He is moaning, for you, because of you. You are in utter bliss, feeling pride swell in your chest when he moans even louder as you clench around him.

He watches the way he fucks you, eyes growing darker and darker and then, he looks at your chest, the way your tits bounce from the movements, something that prompts him to move his hips even faster, fucking into you harder now.

“F-Fuck,” you whine loudly.

His eyes meet your face and the pleasure on it is suddenly not enough for him, he wants to throw you over the edge, he needs to hear you scream for him.

He curses under his breath when you clench around him again.

Steve’s knees dig into the mattress, his fingers now holding you even stronger than before, he is sure to leave bruises but you don’t mind, you would never mind. He fastens his pace, railing into you and thrusting in and out of you, making you fall apart in the matter of a few seconds. You can’t speak, even if you tried. All that you can do is moan pathetically, letting him use you.

“You take me so well, holy shit, Blondie,” he whimpers, voicing out his thoughts, brows scrunching together as he watches you, your lips parted, moans that he only ever dreamt of leaving you. “L-Look at you, fuck. If I knew that my cock would shut you up, I would’ve done this a long time ago.”

“S-Steve!” You whine with a high pitched voice, something that only leads him to pound you even harder even if a tiny part of him wants to mock you.

Your eyes roll back, the tension in your stomach rolling back in, only stronger and hotter this time, and you already don’t know what to do with yourself, but when he suddenly reaches for your legs, hooking the back of your knees around his forearms, your eyes widen when they meet his again and a wicked smirk appears on his face as he starts fucking you from a different angle, snapping his hips into yours so wildly that you can’t help but cry out as your eyelids become droopy, tears now begging to be released, just like the drool that starts coming from the corner of your mouth.

The room now filled with nothing but the dirty sounds of your skin slapping together, the squelching noises from your pussy and his pleasing moans.

Steve watches you in awe, eyes growing wide when he sees just how cockdrunk you are for him.

He fucks you recklessly, eagerly and as though it is the last thing he will ever do.

Your tears fall freely, your whimpers turning into cries the moment his thumb finds your clit again.

He feels your walls clenching around him, gripping his twitching cock tightly – and he knows you’re close, he knows that he is close but he doesn’t want to stop, he doesn’t want this moment to be over.

Steve savors every second, pounding into you roughly and harshly, grabbing your face with his left hand when your head falls to the side, he needs to watch you, he needs to see you when you cum around him.

“You wanna cum for me?” He asks breathlessly.

You nod eagerly, without letting a word fall from your lips, you only nod and whine.

You feel the overstimulation rushing through you, the fire in your stomach that is about to burst into something bigger. You can feel him everywhere, he is so deep inside of you that it makes your body shake like crazy, but it feels good, so good that it almost wants to make you cry for different reasons when you think about how this could be a one time thing.

His hand leaves your face, he throws his palm into the pillow next to you, holding it tightly as his own eyes fall shut now, moaning your name as he picks up the pace of his fingers against your clit, his hips snapping faster into yours now.

“I-I’m–”

“I know, I know…” He coos, letting his face fall into the crook of your neck.

You feel the urge to feel him even closer, so despite the weakness in your body, you use every bit of your strength to lift your hand and press it against his warm back.

“Cum for me,” he whimpers into your neck before he bites into your flesh, marking you up for anyone to see.

A loud gasp tears out of you as his last thrusts grow rougher and his fingers move faster, you can’t help but dig your nails into his back, scratching him as stars blur your vision and the shockwaves grip your body so tightly as you cum around his cock, just as he spills into the condom, moaning into your neck.

You can’t even feel your tears nor the drool still coming out of your mouth, all that you can feel is him. Your arm now falls back onto the mattress and your eyes shutting as the darkness starts to envelope you.

“F-Fuck,” he whispers as he stops moving, pressing another kiss to your neck before he pulls out of you, hissing at the feeling.

He can feel your trembling body beneath his, the sighs that keep falling from your lips, he smugly pulls away to take a look at you, only to see your eyes dropping as you start to lose your consciousness.

“Shit,” he whispers, cupping your cheeks, “you okay, Blondie?”

You nod as best as you can, slapping his hand away as you snuggle into the pillows, not even bothering with the blanket.

He scratches the back of his neck, pressing his lips together as he watches you fall asleep so quickly. He can’t help but feel smug as he looks at the way your thighs are trembling still.

He stands up, leaving the room to walk into the bathroom, where the light is still turned on. He steps inside, noticing how the mirror is a little fogged, the smell of vanilla and strawberries lingering in the air, making his stomach flutter ever so slightly.

Discarded clothes lay on the ground, he picks them up and puts them on the counter before he rolls off the condom, tying it up before he throws it into the trash. He turns towards the sink and washes his hands before he walks back into your room, a smile tugging on his lips.

He plops down beside you, pulling the cover over you and himself, scooting closer to you.

He doesn’t know where this will go or what is going to happen tomorrow but as he looks at your stained face, and every single previous second replays in his head, he is sure of one thing.

There is not a single fucking chance that this is going to be a one time thing.

♡

tagging friends and mutuals!

@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @maroon-cardigan @munson-mjstan @sherrylyn628 @munsonlore @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington smut #steve harrington enemies to lovers #stranger things angst

1K notes · View notes

persephone411 · 1 month ago

Text

Imagine being with Jax while he gets his back tattoo

A/N: this became a bit longer than anticipated but well.. I am a sucker for young!Jax and would have loved to get a flashback of him getting his tattoo

After a bit you got used to the quiet buzzing sound of the tattoo machine while you held your boyfriends hand. Jax was laying shirtless on his stomach while the tattoo artist worked on his back, filling out the letters. Sometimes his grip on your hand would tighten slightly after a particular sensitiv spot.

,,is everything alright ?“ you asked what felt like the 100th time. Jax only nods, his teeth slightly clenched. He would never admit to the pain, especially not with Clay in the room. Softly your thumb caresses the back of his hand and he gives you a thankful smile. You knew he was in pain. Before you accompanied him to the session, you googled how bad the pain of a back tattoo would be. Hell, you even suggested numbing creme, but of course he wouldn’t listen. He only laughed, saying that he would survive it. Again his grip got more tightly and you had to suppress a whimper of your own due to his strong hands. The artist was now working directly on his spine. You met Jax gaze, his baby blue eyes clearly showing discomfort.

“it’s alright, you‘re doing amazing” you whisper quietly and caress his jaw and cheek. He nods shakingly and takes a deep breath.

“Looks good” Clay comments from the other side of the room while Gemma stood next to him with her arms crossed, watching the whole scene wordlessly.

“And this whole thing will take three sessions?” You ask the tattoo artist who nods

“Yes big tattoos like this can’t be done in one day. We‘ll do the upper lettering today, and then in maybe a week the reaper and in another week the letters under the reaper”

You nod silently while biting your lip. You hated to see your boyfriend in pain, but you also knew how important this tattoo was to him. Like it was yesterday you remembered how happy and exited he looked as he told you that he was now a full member of the club and that the tattoo session was already booked. Of course he asked you to accompany him, which you agreed to, not really knowing what to expect.

“Which letter is he currently doing ?” Jax voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“He is currently doing the R of anarchy” you answer, watching as the artist works silently. You quickly noticed that the tall bald man wasn’t very talkative.

“Do you need some water ?, I’ve red that getting tattooed can cause dizziness” you ask Jax and grab the water bottle you brought.

“Don’t pamper him too much, he has to endure this like a man”

Clay calls from the other side of the room and you freeze. Although you and Jax had been together for some time, Clay still kinda scared you.

“Don’t let him get to you, you are an angel”

Jax whispered and kissed the back of your hand, which still held his.

After maybe three to four hours the tattoo was finally done. With a groan Jax sat up and hesitantly flexed his back muscles. Imediatly you next to him, ready to support him if necessary. Clay and Gemma also stepped closer to inspect the freshly inked letters on his shoulders. The tattoo artist wordlessly starts to clean his equipment and gives Jax a small brochure about tattoo aftercare. Then he, Gemma and Clay leave the room to get the payment done.

“I’m so proud of you” you whisper and kiss him softly while he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

#Jax teller #jax teller x reader #Jax teller x you #Jax teller fluff #sons of Anarchy #my imagines

197 notes · View notes

sabokunsmalia · 1 year ago

Text

anon's request: Hiii. I feel like w the amount of times I drop I should sign off w an emoji lololl. But anyway I wanted to drop in and say that I hope you’re having a good week and leave a lil request for you. If you could write a fluff w ace or sabo where like they wake up early in the morning and are looking at the reader and reminiscing about their relationship. It kinda hits them that they’re in love and wouldn’t change a thing. Again hope you’re having a good day/week 🤗 hi it's malia: i couldn't decide, both are heavily underrated so doing both was the best decision. i even added luffy because this felt like a beautiful asl brother thing to do, lol. please, take yourself an emoji of the endless list, i would be pretty happy and probably crying happy tears if you were my very first anon. ♥

featuring: flame emperor sabo, portgas d. ace, monkey d. luffy

ʚ flame emperor sabo ɞ

↷ the bright rays of the golden sun forced sabo to wake up from his slumber, totally against his will. he just came back from a three-week mission yesterday, and couldn't wait to spend at least two days by your side without interference. his soft fingertips, protected from the roughness of his mission by the thick leather gloves, caressed the skin along your spine. you were still heavily asleep, face pressed against his naked chest, your warm breath fanning across his skin. you looked beautiful, so peaceful, so different from what kind of moments and things sabo has seen in the past weeks. or better, his entire life since dragon pulled him out of the water. sabo wanted to become the perfect chief of staff, training and working harder than anybody else to keep his position, to make his savior proud. hell, most of his actions were way too risky to be acceptable. but the nobleborn man did not care about his own life as long as the revolutionary army could change the slightest thing in the world, he would be satisfied. until you popped up, your presence stepped in his sight and scolded him for being so careless about his own life.

↷ that night, sabo had to ask you out on a date. he didn’t have much time but he would definitely give you the couple of hours he had off. the sun rays cascaded hues of gold across your unblemished skin the day he took you to a fancy restaurant — confronted with the same image right now, sabo could not stop the trail of memories embedded in his mind. you infiltrated any given space, intoxicated him, and lured him into a paradise. like a siren but with love and a happy ending to it. your body jerked away from his touch ever so slightly when his fingertips grazed over and around your hipbone. a silenced chuckle left his mouth, remembering exactly the night you slept in his room and bed for the first time. oh, your trembling body made it difficult to cuddle properly, the sudden waves of anxiety always pulling you away from sabo's touch and warmth. the little things, he remembered so clearly as if they happened yesterday. the amount of times, he wanted to confess his love but couldn't find the courage to speak his mind. it happened way too often, the small glances you shared across the room, the several ways koala tried to set you two up. god, the poor girl was completely exhausted from dealing with the shyness of two people when it came to adoring someone.

↷ sabo had the slight hope of finding a lover on an island far away. he would not be able to spend much time with them, but it would be worth it to know they are safe. the world nobles and the marine's were a strong enemy, attempting to find the revolutionary army and stop their movement. but when the chief of staff's eyes landed on you, he couldn't stop his heart from beating faster, his head from imagining having you by his side and certainly not himself from falling in love with you utterly fast. his eyes anchored on your sweet face, so calm and relaxed while sleeping, as the memories of the past weeks and months sprawled out in the back of his head. pictures of moments, he would never forget, or dare himself to change. your story together was perfect, and while it was dangerous to share romantic feelings with someone in the same position, sabo would never change the slightest thing.

ʚ monkey d. luffy ɞ

↷ as the captain of a wanted pirate crew, luffy had very few moments to rest and calm down from the constant fights. but when he got the chance to stay in bed longer than usual, the straw hat had his arms wrapped up tightly around your body. you sprawled out on top of him, one leg on each side. cheek pressed against his toned, naked chest while inhaling and exhaling deep breaths. you always begged him to calm down once in a while, and rest from the fighting and the punches, but luffy was very bad at listening. for almost two years, you asked and he denied it with a chuckle and no words. one of his hands reached up, the calloused fingertips which became rougher over the course of time brushed the thin strands of hair out of your face. the corners of your mouth lifted slightly, almost invisible, as you exhaled a deep breath. even in your sleep, you bathed in the softness of luffy's touch. certain little things, luffy picked up over the course of your relationship.

↷ no one around luffy thought he was capable of feeling love for anything else than his occupancy as a pirate. but when the straw hats visited your island, and luffy shared a look with you, it was certain that the boy fell head over heels for your precious self. throughout the events of the past months, you gave luffy enough strength to fight further and stronger. even after losing ace, you were his glimpse of hope. a smile crept its way onto luffy's mouth, remembering the nights, you stayed on deck with him. falling asleep in his arms while watching the wide ocean sway around the thousand sunny. the days, you brought him food when he didn't join the crew for dinner. something which didn't happen before, he would never let a meal get wasted. memories, he carried with him like pictures on a wall. framed with golden ornaments and attached to his heart. moments, luffy used as a reminder to always keep fighting, to stay strong in the worst fights.

↷ his dilated pupils were locked on your statue on him, so small, so beautiful and so admirable. his slender and warm fingers combed through the mess of hair, adoring the way you made him feel safe between the enemies that wanted his head. luffy could agree to many alliances, could laugh at way too many people, yet, most of them wanted to murder the straw hat behind his back. the million little things you've done for him, no matter if the days were good or bad, they pulled luffy deeper into your spell. he fell harder for you with each given day, and while becoming the king of the pirates was his priority task, you quickly changed the placement. the straw hat did not except to experiment love on his journey to the one piece, and yet, luffy would not trade this life for anything else, he would never change any step of your love story and relationship together.

ʚ portgas d. ace ɞ

↷ there was not one calm night on the moby dick since the commanders gathered for an arranged party. music boomed across the deck of the main ship, and spread across the vast ocean. colorful lights, red and blue cascaded through the darkness and announced the ship to any other pirate crews or marine admirals. those feasts were ace's greatest pleasure. he loved drinking booze and eating meals until passing out. but those past days, it was somehow different. seated in the corner, the glass tightly in one of his hands, ace watched his friends and family interact with you. dancing around with marco, and having long conversations with pops or thatch. the night was a long one again, the third in a row and it was no surprise the next morning when you were still asleep. cuddled up in ace's arms while pressing your back further against his naked chest. warmth spread underneath the thick blanket but also from ace's logia devil fruit powers. a walking heater, who watched closely how your chest rose while you inhaled and exhaled.

↷ the second division commander felt the tingling in his right arm, knowing that a couple more minutes could increase the slight pain. but he wouldn't dare himself to wake you up from a much-needed nap. after dancing way too many hours with marco, and even being forced to dance another round with ace by your side, your legs were hurting badly. his unoccupied hand wandered from your hipbone towards your thick thigh. smirking to himself as you carefully pushed yourself further against his body, ace massaged your unblemished and soft skin. he didn't think about taking advantage or doing anything sexual, the shaggy black-haired decided to give you something back. he remembered clearly how many times you decided to massage his tense shoulders and back when he returned from another long mission. standing on the small boat which only worked with his particular devil fruit powers didn't allow him much of a comfortable position. days passed, sometimes even weeks or months while you waited for him and hoped for ace to return well.

↷ over the months of dating, ace reminded himself of the small things you have done for him. it always kept him alive and awake when needed, knowing that returning to you was his greatest desire. he wouldn't want to see your soft face stained by the tears from your eyes. this time, he promised to stay longer by your side, to decline leaving the ship so easily and quickly. his rough fingertips caressed along the skin of your thigh while his eyes drifted over the small statues on the shelf close to the bed. little gifts that ace brought along when he was on a mission far away. you occupied his mind, kept him awake and forced his nightly dreams to enter his days. being in a relationship as a pirate always caused problems, fearing for the well-being of you more than his own. and yet, ace wouldn't change a fact, wouldn't change any steps of the past that you shared together. each return to the moby dick came with new shivers, heavy goosebumps and a quick heartbeat. feelings, ace only got when your face popped into his mind, when you occupied his head.

362 notes · View notes

mcflymemes · 11 months ago

Text

PROMPTS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS * some of my favorite quotes from the show, adjust as necessary

his chops are too righteous!

it’s evil. it’s diabolical. it’s lemon scented!

lord knows i’ve tried.

two words. na. chos.

yeah, i get called that a lot.

it's just a cruel reminder that i'm single and likely to remain that way forever.

what doesn't kill you usually succeeds in the second attempt.

stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.

goodbye everyone, i’ll remember you all in therapy.

don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

i used to have a kidney stone. everything passes eventually.

you can't fool me. i listen to public radio!

stop it, [name], you're scaring him!

do instruments of torture count?

give to the children's fund? what have the children ever done for me?

this is not your average, everyday darkness. this is... advanced darkness.

what's better than serving up smiles?

i guess i'm not wearing any pants today.

did you smell it? that smell. a kind of smelly smell. the smelly smell that smells… smelly.

wake me up when i care.

look at all the hip, young people eating salads!

he was so ugly that everyone died.

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!

well, the way i see it, there are three possibilites.

hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep.

that’s it mister! you just lost your brain privileges!

good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.

well, we lost our car again.

pull your pants up. we’re going home.

you were right. fighting is for children.

i’m a good noodle!

remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

your ceiling is talking to me!

we don’t need television.

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

i’ll have you know i stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and i only cried for twenty minutes.

hey, if i close my eyes, it doesn’t seem so dark.

is mayonnaise an instrument?

those are some big words. i’ve never heard you use them before.

my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.

we destroyed your most prized possession.

we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.

let’s see, a five letter word for happiness. money.

can i have everybody’s attention?

i have to use the bathroom.

do you know what day today is?

could you not stand so close? you’re making me claustrophobic.

i used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.

are they laughing at us?

if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

he needs us now more than ever.

what is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow?

ice is just a myth.

this working out thing isn’t working out.

i can’t see my forehead.

i have a good idea, and no one else thinks so.

look at you, so young and happy.

i prefer to be an idiot!

sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?

don’t be sad, buddy. turn that frown upside down!

i’m ugly and i’m proud!

good! say it louder!

i can’t do it! i can’t be away from my best friend!

i need you! i can’t handle this myself!

i’m just going on vacation for a few days.

i was kinda hoping that you come along with us…

enjoy the cake everybody!

now we never have to be apart, even when we’re not together.

this is great. see you forever!

i have to keep you safe while i get some work done!

maybe he doesn’t like us.

no, are you kidding?

i propose a toast to new friends!

i guess i’ll have to move in back with my mom and dad.

he’s a thief. look at the lust in his eye…

why can’t you just accept our friendship?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompt #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters #mcflymemes #spongebob squarepants

256 notes · View notes

merakiui · 10 months ago

Note

"You don't have to leave you know" with jade please? Love your writing

:D this is connected to tmdg. I couldn't resist writing another snippet with my favorite pair of fools: one who is lovesick and the other who is lovestruck. <3 (implied fem reader + pregnancy)

(fwb dialogues)

When Jade sets a bowl of porridge topped with bananas and blueberries in front of you, you eye him suspiciously.

"What's this?"

"Breakfast. Specifically the overnight oats we prepared yesterday."

You deadpan, peering at the smiling face he managed to arrange with the fruit. "I know that. But why?"

He turns away to continue cutting an apple into rabbit-shaped slices. "Isn't breakfast the most important meal out of the three? You can't start your day on an empty stomach."

It's the weekend; you don't particularly care. Strangely, when he places the plate in front of you, there isn't a portion for himself. Everything's fixed for one person. You've known Jade and his monstrous appetite long enough to suspect something's amiss. More importantly, this is the third time this week he's insisted on spending the night to prepare, what he calls, "safe make-ahead meals." Why he felt the need to call them safe is beyond you... Even more strange is the fact that all of these meals have looked flowery and cute. Almost like something you'd find in a themed café. Either he's having way too much fun, or there's some deeper, underlying meaning behind the adorable image.

"I'm not really a breakfast person."

He pouts at you. It isn't very effective. "You're missing the joys of a good meal in the morning."

"I'm missing good sleep. I'm not even that hungry." But even as you say that, your stomach produces a betraying rumble.

Jade's lips split in an easy grin. He almost looks like Floyd. "You were saying?"

"Shut up." With a weak scowl, you swipe the spoon from the table and scoop a bite for yourself.

He chuckles and rolls his sleeves down, buttons his jacket up, and heads for the hall. You blink, even more confused.

"Where're you going?"

"Octavinelle."

"What? But you... Jade, you haven't even eaten either. Kinda makes your point meaningless if you're gonna skip breakfast after you just told me not to."

He peeks around the corner. "What are you implying?"

You open your mouth to say, Just get back in here and eat, you asshole. But that's only part of the truth. He knows this, which is precisely why he's now refusing to move from his spot in the doorway until you've admitted it.

"Nothing. I'm just saying..."

"Yes?" he offers, smiling placidly.

Your patience has grown especially thin as of late. The smallest of things set you off. Just yesterday you started openly bawling when Jade arrived at your doorstep with a tin of cookies—cookies you'd begged him to get over text after the recommendation from Ace. You think you may be falling apart. Jade thinks you've never looked prettier.

Huffing your defeat, you avert your gaze. "Y-You don't have to leave, you know... Stay a little longer."

You expect him to tease you for it, to really lay it on so thick that you'll have no choice but to get up and drag him over to the table by the ear. But instead he's lowering into the chair beside you. You'd chased him out the past few times he attempted to overstay his welcome, which he'd accepted without complaint. Now he just looks happy to be here. You'll never understand him.

You scoop a spoonful of porridge and, grabbing his chin, force it at him. "And eat! You're not getting any taller."

His hand wraps around yours, smoothly guiding it to his mouth. An appreciative hum proves he's proud of the result after he's sampled it. You have to agree. It's delicious.

"And you're not getting any more beautiful."

You stare at him, embarrassment clawing up your spine. While these pleasantries aren't unusual, they still manage to catch you by surprise. Not because of the sweetness, but because he genuinely means every one.

"Actually, I take it back. I hope you starve."

Jade leans in to nudge you. "I'll learn to photosynthesize just for you and then that problem will never come to pass."

"How it only nine and you're already being an ass?"

"It's my specialty."

#twisted chit chat #meraki dialogues #your honor they're falling in love but they're both idiots T_T

145 notes · View notes

rathayibacter · 1 year ago

Text

AITA For Messing With My Boyfriend's Hobby?

me (23m) and my boyfriend (26m) just moved in together a few months ago, after being in a relationship for two years. we've had our issues of course, but nothing too serious. last week, however, i forgot our anniversary, and i can tell it really hurt his feelings. i tried talking to him about it, but he said it's fine.

for context, my boyfriend is a ninth-moon swordsman and master of many divine war arts. i dont usually mention this but it's relevant, because for the last three days he's been using his supernatural speed and mastery of the blade to passive-aggressively mess with my things. for example, yesterday i made myself a sandwich, and right before i bit into it he cut the mustard and mayo off the bread in a fraction of an instant, so when i bit down it was completely dry. i know it's him, too, because he was sitting across the room watching tv, and i didnt see him move, but his ancestral sword was in a slightly different position afterwards.

so, this morning i got kinda frustrated, and while he was still asleep i took his sword and i hid it in the laundry room, cuz i knew he wouldn't check there. i figured if he couldnt take out his frustrations by playing millisecond pranks on me, we could sit down and talk about this like adults.

now, something i knew, but wasnt thinking about when i did this, is that he still hasnt formed a spiritual connection with his ancestral sword. this means hes unable to communicate with it across great distances, or summon it to his hand with but a gesture. these are skills you usually learn really early on, and im in fact really proud of him for getting as far as he has without them, but now he thinks im mocking him for this and hes locked himself in the bathroom. ive tried apologizing through the door, but he just started chanting a mantra he learned from his dead older brother.

so, AITA?

358 notes · View notes

angelkhi · 2 years ago

Text

kiss it better - j.m

pairing: dilf!joel miller x babysitter!reader

summary: turns out joel is trained in first aid, among other things.

warnings: SMUT (18+ Minors DNI) oral (f), fingering, masturbation (m), age gap, creampie but not technically p in v, cumplay i guess, squirting? cum eating/swapping(???), praise, an inkling of overstimulation, hair pulling, needy joel, some dirty talk / bad language, nicknames: dove, pretty girl, sweet girl, idk just some down right dirty shit with some feeling, mentions of injury (a scraped knee and elbow), age gap, slight hurt comfort, grumpy bucky, kinda sweet ending. very sorry if i missed anything!

word count: 2.4 k

a little note: hi! this shit is nasty soz xx i wrote this for bucky but changed it to pre-outbreak joel cause yeah, also not proofread cause i don’t like reading my own shit, and sarah is like 5 in this, also if u know me no you don’t, okay love ya x likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏾

"You, kitchen. I'll be down in 10."

You'd listened of course, planting yourself on the kitchen counter and awaiting his return, but those 7 simple words left you fidgeting for the entire 10 minutes he was gone.

Joel walks into the room without a word, puts the bright red first aid box on the counter next to you and pulls up a stool. You can't help but watch his fluid movements, admiring his grace and precision even in the smallest of movements. All of them are deliberate, calculated.

"This is gonna sting a bit." He rips open an alcohol wipe, sliding a hand behind your knee to keep you in place. "Deep breath for me."

"Joel, I can sort it myself- mother fucker!" You start to protest but he presses the wipe against your broken skin, the sting unexpected despite his prior warning.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Joel smirks, wiping over your knee once more, his fingers digging into your flesh when you try to pull away from him. "Keep still."

"I told you I'd sort it." You mumble.

"Stop being so proud for 10 minutes. Let me help you."

"But..."

He sighs, finally looking up at you. You're not sure if it's the intensity of his stare, or the fact that he's hunched over you, touching you so gently, as though a scraped knee just might break you, but that sigh defeats you.

"Okay."

Silence falls over you again and you continue to watch him work, smiling when he fiddles with small bandage and adds a princess sticker for good measure.

"I'm sorry about earlier. Didn't mean for such a dramatic entrance but you know Sarah, she's..."

"Stubborn and bossy."

"I was going to say strong minded and competitive. Like her father." His brow quirks subtly, but you pretend not to notice it.

"So... stubborn and bossy." Joel smiles, still completely focused on bandaging your knee, "There you go, all patched up."

You nod, unsure of what to say all of a sudden. Joel fills the silence.

"I've missed you." Three simple words, that probably would've had little effect on you if they hadn't come from him.

"You saw me yesterday Joel."

"You know that's not what I mean dove." He glances up at you, just for a second, but a second is all he needs to know you understand. Of course you understand. You've spent the better part of a year trying not to miss him.

"Always so proud. It's okay to let people help you."

"My pride took quite the hit today thank you very much, your kid is way too good at tag." Joel chuckles, and your bruised pride heals a little, knowing that you had made him laugh. The way that his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunches, the almost giggle. You want to commit it to memory. To keep them it your pocket safe and tight for when you needed it. Even as his soft eyes bore into your own, silently demanding an answer to his statement.

"Thank you, Doctor Miller. I'd better be going." It's cowardly, barely even a whisper, almost drowned out by the low hum of the fridge.

But you don't move though and nether does he. Joel smooths the bandage over your knee, his lingering thumb quickly replaced by his soft lips. Joel gazes up at you as he rose from his knees, his hands sliding up your legs with each fluid movement. His hands move on their own accord, across your thighs, skimming your hips and waist, moving up and up until he's cradling your jaw.

"I wanna keep you in just a little while longer for observations, doctors orders" You lean into his touch, hyper aware of how close the pair of you suddenly are.

"Hmm. Okay Doctor Miller, any other remedies... since you insist." You're breathless, the air in the room seeming none existent as you bend to his will.

"I can think of one."

He bunches your skirt up around your waist in one swift motion, urging you to lay back against the cool marble countertop. His lips are full and warm against your skin, lingering on the inside of your knee, his fingers holed in the side of your panties, dragging them ever so slowly down your thighs. Joel's every movement is slow and deliberate, as though he's trying to savour each and every part of the moment.

"Such a pretty cunt." A small burst of cool air against your exposed pussy pushes you closer to the edge of desperation. Joel's hair tickles your inner thighs, his soft shirt brushing the back of your knee

"Tell me you missed me." He's so close to where you need him, practically dangling himself on a string. "Tell me how much you missed me touching you like this."

Joel finally touches you, his thumb circling your hole, watching you clench around nothing desperately spread out on his kitchen counter willing to take anything he'll give you.

"Missed you, Joel. So much." He hums, pride seeping out of his pores, dark eyes flickering when you say his name.

"Fuckin my hand to the thought of you was torture dove. Nothin compares to this perfect little thing." His lips purse and a small burst of cool air brushes over your clit. You grow more and more desperate the closer he gets, you're practically offering yourself up on a silver platter and he chooses now to take his sweet time?

Your fingers thread through his shaggy locks, prompting him to do something or you'll do it yourself. Joel' laugh is quick and breathless, his eyes slipping shut when you lightly scratch at his scalp.

He leans forward, tongue dragging from your entrance to your throbbing clit. Your fingers tighten in his hair and he groans pulling back to speak.

"Just as sweet as I remember." He takes another moment, then his head is between your thighs.

You're not sure if it's been hours or minutes but Joel's head is still buried between your thighs, lapping at your clit and weeping hole like a starved man. Every time you think he'll give you some sort of a reprise, he just gives you more. Fucking an extra finger into you each time he comes up for breath, or simply just toying with your clit, enjoying the way you respond so diligently to his every touch.

Your hands find the edge of the counter out of sheer desperation, too scared you'll pull at his hair too harshly in this marathon of touching, that is at least until Joel's movements stop abruptly, his head lifting from between your.

"Joel, are you okay?" His large hands wrap around your wrists, prying your hands off of the marble and back into his soft hair.

"Don't stop-" he presses a sweet kiss to your thigh "-feels so fuckin' good."

He wastes no time getting back between your thighs, bringing you back to that ledge he'd left you on. The soft point of his nose brushes against your clit, your hands grasping his hair with fervour. Joel's moan is low and deep, vibrating from his lips right to your open cunt. The knowledge that you're giving him just a fraction of what he's giving you makes your chest swell, and you bet that if you had to energy to lift your head and look down on him, his trousers would be uncomfortably tight and his hips Joeling up at nothing.

He curls his fingers, hooking them perfectly against where you need him, his hand moving at an unnatural pace. You try to stay quiet so not to wake the little girl asleep upstairs, but you're being torn apart from the inside out and Joel's muffled sounds do nothing but spur you on. Once his lips pucker against your clit and his fingers rest on that perfect spot, you're finished. Torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer, you simply just let it happen, let him coax your body through a perfect orgasm until you have no choice but to push the gluttonous man away.

"So fuckin' pretty. Look at ya, all mine." He's breathless, supporting your now upright frame between his muscular arm and chest. He presses his soft lips to yours, and it's a mess of nipping and sucking. His tongue brushes up against yours slowly and deeply, the taste of your own orgasm lingering on your lips.

"Just one more. Gimme one more yeah? So fucking good for me dove." You nod, something between a hoarse sigh and a whimper when he asks for verbal confirmation. He slides two long fingers back into you with ease, right back with that bruising pace, watching with dark eyes as you grind your clit on the ball of his palm.

"That's it, I've got you sweet girl. Give it to me." Joel's efficient when he works your body. He enjoys how you clench around his fingers when your orgasm builds, or how your swollen clit respond so well to his touch. He likes it when you push your fingers into his broad shoulders, anchoring yourself to him. He fucking loves it when you muffle the high pitched scream in his shoulder, teeth digging into his skin slightly as you release over his hand.

Dark grey spots linger on the cotton of his joggers from where you'd gushed all over him, but he doesn't care. Joel cradles your face, taking you in, his own little slice of heaven on earth. His.

Your nimble fingers tug the waistband of his joggers until they're just low enough to release him from their confines. His fingers brush over yours, moulding them against him, guiding you to palm his cock in a tight fist. Joel's concentrated gaze flickers between your glistening thighs, your pretty eyes, your half parted lips, your wet pussy spread out just for him. He's frantic, chasing pleasure from your white knuckled fists.

You slip your hand free, tracing over the stubble on his chin, fingers trailing around the back of his neck, until they're locked in his hair again. Your grip is rough when you tip his head back slightly, and he shudders against you, hips chasing his fist.

You relinquish in the small amount of power, the new feeling sending a rush down your spine. His lips rest against yours, his soft noises brushing against your skin.

"You gonna let me make a mess of this cunt, huh? Gonna let me come all on your pretty pussy."

"Joel please."

"Fuck. You're too good to me." He's whining for you. Fucking whining, and it's all because of you. Joel's hips stutter and thrust into his hand, the thick head of his cock bumping against your sensitive nub, extracting every last ounce of pleasure from your already spent body.

"Joel, come inside of me. Please Joel, you're always so good to me, let me be good for you." His hips slow as he takes in your words, your hands on him. He works himself over with his fist once more before he grips himself at his thick base pressing himself against your sensitive clit once again. He slides himself down, down, until the head of his dick is pressed against your waiting hole.

The familiar stretch of him pushing into you has you whimpering, still so sensitive. Joel's breath stutters and his hands grip your hips as he fucks his tip into you. His thrusts are quick and shallow as he gets himself off and you're muttering against his lips how good he feels, how pretty he looks, how much you love it when he takes what he needs. You scratch at his scalp, and grip his hair that little bit tighter and he's keening over, pressing his lips to yours. His eyes squeeze shut and he whines into your mouth as he pumps himself empty inside of you.

He works swiftly, removing himself from your warmth, sliding you to the edge of the counter and falling to his knees.

"Fuckin perfect." He mutters to himself, watching as his spend leaks out of you, fingers toying with the mess he made. He drags his soft wet tongue against you, once, twice, slipping into your used cunt until you're clawing him away beyond over-sensitive.

But then he's up, and in front of you and you're reading and waiting knowing what he's about to give you and you're willing to accept it. He kisses you, the mixture of your slick and his come on his tongue. You take it, the debauchery act pushing you so far past the point of desire. His fingers still move against you, still playing with your clenching cunt until you're seeing stars.

"Joel, too much."

"M'sorry dove." He says, pulling his fingers away from you and sucking them into his mouth.

He moves quickly, reaching for a cloth and some of his pyjama pants from the washing pile on the dining table. He's careful when he runs it over your thighs and in between your legs, holds you carefully when he helps you down from the counter and slips you into the sleep trousers that are far too big. He's soft and warm and careful and everything in between when he holds you against his chest.

"Joel..." He hums. "I don't want to miss you anymore."

You pull away to look up at him, terrified that you'd misread the situation, that your cloudy brain and lingering crush on the father next door has made you overstep the mark.

"Don't wanna miss you either dove." His lips brush yours.

He seems nervous, it's beyond sweet, but you'd never felt so light, so relieved. "Stay?"

"What about Sarah?"

"Please, she's been begging me to date you for months." Oh.

"And what do you want?" His soft thumbs stroke your lips whilst he holds your gaze, soft yet demanding.

"I wanna take you out to dinner. Want you next to me when I wake up in the mornings. I want you to sit on my face til your crying. Wanna give you everything you want, no matter how ridiculous, I just want you, if you'll let me." Oh. Big oh. You pull him close, resting a hand over his quick beating heart, worried it just might give out.

"You already have me."

He flashes a toothy grin, his blue eyes sparkling even in a dimly lit room. He kisses you slow and sweet, pouring every ounce of care an affection into your lips making it certain. You absolutely already have him too.

#joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x reader #pre outbreak!joel #tlou #the last of us hbo #the last of us smut #dilf!joel #joel miller smut #tlou smut #smut

745 notes · View notes

ultra-raging-ghost · 6 months ago

Text

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

#qsmp #liveblogging

48 notes · View notes

dreadnotau · 10 months ago

Text

Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

#dread not #dreadnot #dread not au #dreadnotau #not comic #kris #schedule update #again #apparently i was calling this last hiatus a pseudo hiatus?#oh silly past me. this was a full blown hiatus jesus fucking christ #but yeah no i love being at this college dont get me wrong #its just that i have like 3 exams to prepare for the next two days ALONE #so like!!!! wish me luck!!!!! for christs sake #yknow i was planning on actually Dedicating Time to the art for this post #but uhh. haha. a little thing called the consequences to my actions caught up to me #fuckin psychology exam today that i had to cram for last night #i think it went ok? who the fuck knows at this point #but for tomorrow and the day after that i have digital shit to finish some theory to cram AND an ENTIRE PAINTING #that i didnt even START YET #and its an autoportrait. as if i wasnt suffering enough i have to stare at my ugly mug for hours #AGAIN. BECAUSE I HAD A DIFF AUTOPORTRAIT TO FINISH FOR LAST WEEK #im in spain without the s yall pray for me

31 notes · View notes

icomplexmind · 2 years ago

Text

Ocean Eyes - Part 2

Neteyam/Ao’nung x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

PART 1

Summary: Why can’t relationships be easy?

Notes: THIS IS A REPOST!! When I first posted this, my account was glitched and none of my posts were showing up on tag pages. To anyone who has already read this, please interact again and sorry to those on my taglist who are getting an additional mention. This is part two in my Ocean Eyes series! Part 1 is above, please read that before beginning this. Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked, and reblogged the previous part. I was not expecting the fic to reach 800+ notes, I didn’t even think it was that good 😭! This would’ve been done so much earlier but life has been very stressful for me so it kinda got put on the backburner until I could recover. Credit to @keisobe for the idea of purple blush! Reader’s name is Loran because I’m really bad at using (Y/N) in my writing. All three main characters are aged 16. Feedback and encouraging comments are appreciated.

Words: 5.46k (I DIDN’T KNOW I WROTE THIS MUCH PLSSSS??)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, jealousy, swearing, discussions of overwhelming parental expectations, mentions of blood and injuries, fighting, Ao’nung being an ass

Taglist: @bella661818 @berryaide @vaness20 @flower-lise @arminsgfloll

“Have a good day Loran.” Your mother says, planting a kiss on your forward. “Make us proud, daughter.” Your father follows up, giving your shoulder a loving squeeze.

Before you leave, your mother calls out to you. “Come back later today, we’ll be clearing out the fish traps together! It shouldn’t take long.” You nod and smile as you leave the marui.

Your mind is clouded by the events of yesterday. The electric feeling of Neteyam’s hands on you, the way you couldn’t help but to stare during the ilu lesson, and Ao’nung’s vague conversation with you.

There wasn’t time to think about that though. You had duties to complete around the village and did not want to face your parents’ rage if they weren’t done correctly.

You complete your tasks as you’d do any other day. You gather fish, tend to the ilus, and assist other villagers with their own chores. After a few tiring hours, you finish and find a quiet place to relax.

It’s a secluded area on the shore, letting you be alone with your thoughts and the sea. You sit down, close your eyes and take a deep breath, clearing your mind.

“Loran?” Neteyam’s voice comes from behind, quiet enough for you to not be startled by it. However, you feel your body immediately tense up. Can’t you just have a moment of silence?

“Hey Neteyam,” You turn around and look up at him. “How was your first night?” You ask curiously, thinking of how difficult it must be to have to adapt to a completely new lifestyle and surroundings so quickly.

Neteyam sits next to you on the sand. “It wasn’t... bad. It took me an especially long while to fall asleep, but eventually I did,” He smiles at you. “I actually fell asleep thinking of you.”

“What?!” You can’t catch yourself before shouting, eyes widening in complete shock. Neteyam immediately raises his hands, realizing how his sentence sounded.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that!” He stammered, shaking his head. “What I meant was how you were so patient and encouraging in all of the lessons yesterday. It made me feel welcomed.”

You nodded, calming yourself before responding. “Have you been feeling welcomed? By anyone else, I mean?” Neteyam looks down and scratches his head. “No, not really. Tsireya has been sweet, but her attention is mostly directed towards Lo’ak.”

“I guess me and Tsireya have been doing the same thing. I haven’t exactly been balanced in teaching your siblings, have I?” You awkwardly laugh, meeting his gaze.

“I wouldn’t hold it against you. Ao’nung was a surprisingly great teacher for Tuk, and Kiri didn’t need much help with anything to begin with.” Neteyam says with a nudge to your shoulder. The comfortable silence follows, the both of you listening to the sounds of the ocean for a while.

“I saw you running around the village this morning. What was that all about?” Neteyam questions, an intrigued look on his face.

“I have duties that I have to complete daily. This was actually one of my lighter days!” You laugh weakly. “I usually work for a couple of hours longer, and everything has to be perfect or my parents will get so angry.”

“It’s so suffocating,” You pause and look up at Neteyam. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m dumping all of this on you. You’re going through more than-” He shushes, taking your hand in his.

“Loran, I understand everything you’re saying. I can’t speak for being an only child, but I can speak for being the oldest. I always felt like I had to be perfect to please my parents and set a good example for my siblings. I often still feel that way,” Neteyam sighs. “But don’t think you can’t talk to me about this, alright?”

Your heart swells, all of your feelings being validated in that very moment. You exhale deeply, holding back heavy tears.

“Thank you Neteyam, thank you. You have no idea how happy this makes me feel.” You wrap your arms around him, embracing him in a tight hug. After a short while, you let go, looking down at the sand.

“I’m here for you.” Neteyam says softly, lifting your chin to face him with his hand. Your breath hitches, realizing how close your faces are together. Your brain and heart are in a tug-of-war, but your heart wins. You move your head towards Neteyam, and he does the same, closing the distance between the two of you.

“Loran!” Ao’nung shouts, his expression furious. You shriek and move away from Neteyam at the sound of his voice. “Ao’nung, it’s not what it-”

“Your mom needs you to help her with the fish traps,” He cuts you off, voice quieter yet laced with malice. “Let’s get going.”

You bite your lip and stand up, giving Neteyam an apologetic look. You want to say sorry, goodbye, anything, but you just can’t seem to speak. Ao’nung places his hand on your back, leading you to your family’s marui.

“Please don’t tell my parents.” You say weakly, heart pounding in your chest. Ao’nung doesn’t respond, keeping his eyes trained forward.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

“Where have you been, Loran? You’re usually never late.” Your mother asks as you walk into the marui. Ao’nung looks down at you, a sly smirk on his face. “I’ve been- I was-” You stumble over your words, struggling to keep eye contact with your mother as her gaze becomes more suspicious.

“It was my fault,” Ao’nung speaks up, rubbing small circles on your back to calm you down. It surprises you, but you don’t interject. “I wanted to show her a cave I found but I lost track of time.”

“Ah, it’s fine then. I didn’t have the best time management skills when I was your ages either.” Your mother says with a chuckle, upsetting you a tad. Of course she’d pretend to be understanding with Ao’nung around. She’d reprimand you for way longer than necessary if you had returned alone.

“I could accompany Loran to clear out the fish traps,” Ao’nung says, an innocent smile plastred on his face. “I wouldn’t want to take up your time.” Your mother replies, shaking her head. “It’s no problem at all. I don’t have anything better to do today.” He says with a laugh.

Your mother nods, grinning. “You are such a sweet boy,” She exits the marui, but pauses and turns around. “No fooling around!” She winks and walks away, making you immediately cover your face in embarrassment. You hear Ao’nung snicker, making you groan.

Ao’nung calls over his ilu and you do the same. You bond with your ilu and pet it, taking off to the first trap with Ao’nung close behind. The short ride is quiet and somewhat tense, both of you having something to say to each other.

As you’re gathering fish from the first trap, Ao’nung speaks. “You know I’d never say anything to make your parents mad at you, right?” His voice almost sounds hurt, making you hesitate before talking.

“I know, I know. But you seemed so angry, and sometimes you can behave a little irrationally when you’re upset.” You say the last part pointedly, glancing over to him as you continue to collect the fish.

“Why wouldn’t I be angry? I caught you and forest boy making out! How’d you expect me to act?” Ao’nung hissed. “We didn’t even kiss! I wasn’t expecting you to act like a child about it.” You snapped back, glaring at him. “Oh, but you almost did, right? If I hadn’t found you, his tongue would be halfway down your throat!” He said, voice accusatory.

“Ao’nung!” You scream, silencing him. “That’s just inappropriate. I would never allow something like that to happen and you know it.” You huff, clearing out the rest of the fish and resetting the trap.

You both move on to the next trap, which is further away from the village. The uncomfortable silence is broken as Ao’nung begins working on the second fish trap. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I trust you Loran, I know you. I don’t trust that- that skxawng.”

“I get what you’re saying Ao’nung. But... that’s not your decision to make for me. We’re not children anymore.” You solemnly say. “I understand that, and I’m not trying to make decisions for you. All I’m saying is you’ve only known him for a few days, just keep that in mind.” Ao’nung sighs as he resets the trap.

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped doubting me. Neteyam gets me, he-”

“He knows you better than your best friend of ten years, is that right?” Ao’nung’s bitter voice interrupts you.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Ao’nung? You always have something negative to say about Neteyam and you keep accusing me of things without context. If you had let me finish, I would’ve said that he goes through exactly what I do with his parents. Do your parents exhaust you with unreachable expectations and daily tasks that make you work for hours on end?” You feel tears well up in your eyes, Ao’nung moving his ilu closer towards yours as he listens to your words.

“I hate fighting with you,” You sob, trying your best to wipe away your tears as they fell. “This is such a stupid thing to argue about. You make such a big deal out of it and I want to know why.” You feel Ao’nung’s arms wrap around your body, pulling you close to him in a comforting hug.

He wants to tell you why he feels so strongly against Neteyam, but it just isn’t the time to do so. For now, Ao’nung simply runs his fingers through your hair as your sobs slowly turn into sniffles, and eventually shallow breaths.

“So... will you stop being a jealous asshole?” You chuckle, making him smile. “I can’t make any promises,” Ao’nung starts, making you pout. “But I’ll try my best, okay?” He wipes the rest of your tears away.

“I knew you were jealous all along.” A smug grin spreads across your face. Ao’nung laughs in response. “You’re right, I was. Really though, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so upset.”

You nod, taking his hands in yours. “I forgive you,” You say, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. “I do have to ask though, what made you so jealous in the first place? Nobody could ever replace you as my best friend, Ao’nung.”

“That wasn’t the problem.” You immediately pick up on how nervous Ao’nung’s voice sounds. It’s shaky and slow, like he’s trying to put together a sentence for the first time. “What was the problem then?” You ask, confused.

“Loran, please don’t be mad once I tell you this.” He stares directly at you, tone slightly less anxious. “I won’t be, is everything alright?” You question further, worried that there’s something wrong.

Ao’nung gingerly cups your face with his hands, letting out a long exhale before beginning to speak. “You’re my everything, Loran. Sometimes, sometimes...” He bites his lip hard, almost making it bleed. “Sometimes I want to be more. More than just your best friend.”

His words make your brain short-circuit, barely processing everything that he just said. “Ao’nung- I don’t... I don’t know what to say.” You stutter, his words ringing in your mind.

“I messed up, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have told you, I-” Ao’nung begins to ramble but you shush him, covering his mouth with your hand. “Ao’nung, I just need some time to process this. I’m glad you told me, you didn’t mess up at all, okay?”

Ao’nung nods but looks down, not seeming fully convinced. “You don’t believe me?” You tease, eyeing him playfully. Before Ao’nung has a chance to respond, you softly kiss him on the cheek. It’s quick, but leaves a lingering warmth on your lips. A purple blush spreads across his dumbfounded face, making you giggle.

“We can’t forget why we came out here in the first place, remember? Let’s finish resetting all the traps.” You say with a smile as your ilu swims away. Ao’nung tries and fails to form words, so he just nods and follows you.

Eclipse has nearly fallen by the time you and Ao’nung finish gathering the fish and resetting the traps. You let out a sigh of relief, thankful to Eywa that you made it to the village on time.

After dropping off the fish to the sellers in the village's main marketplace, you reach the outside of your family’s marui. Before walking in, Ao’nung taps you on the shoulder. “Forgetting something?” He says with his arms opened, beaming. You know he had been spending the entirety of the day after your kiss building up courage, amusing you. “No, I don’t think I have.” You tap your chin in mock response, slowly walking towards him.

Ao’nung’s arms encircle you in a hug and he rests his head on yours. You can hear how fast his heart is beating, making you snicker. “What’s so funny?” He questions, and you hear his voice become a little less confident. “It’s nothing. You’re such a softie, that’s all.” You reassure him, feeling his body relax.

“Only for you.” You hear him whisper under his breath, making your heart flutter. The hug lasts for a long time, neither of you wanting to let go of each other. You never realized how safe and comfortable you always felt in his embrace until that moment.

“I don’t think we can hug all night, Ao’nung.” You say with a giggle, gently breaking up the hug. “What’s stopping us?” Ao’nung responds with a smirk, making you hit him on the arm.

“You’ve been planning to say that for the last few hours, haven’t you? You’re such a skxawng!” Your eyes can’t help but roll as you speak. “Come on, you know that was a good one.” He winks, making you cover your face to hide the blush creeping across your cheeks.

“Don’t push your luck,” You huff and try your best to put on an annoyed expression, walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, good night.” You say, smiling at him one last time before entering the marui.

You fill in your mother and father on the events of the day, purposefully omitting anything about Neteyam from your story. Dinner is quiet, other than small talk and general conversation.

Your mind once again withholds sleep from you though, the almost-kiss with Neteyam and Ao’nung’s confession are impossible thoughts to silence. How long had Ao’nung been keeping his feelings from you? How would a kiss on the lips feel, especially from a guy like Neteyam? However, one short sentence remains louder than the rest.

You’re my everything, Loran.

Just thinking about it made you feel flustered. No one had ever said something to you that made you feel so... special. You couldn’t stay up all night thinking though, you had yet another long day of chores tomorrow. Trying your best to just think about that, you were able to convince your brain to allow you to fall asleep.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

You hum to yourself as you walk towards the ilu enclosure, carrying a basket full of fish to feed them for the day. Your ears perk up at the sound of a distant voice, unmistakably Ao’nung’s.

“Oh, another four-fingered freak.” His mocking laugh follows, alerting you to the fact that he’s messing with someone.

After you find someone to handle your task, you rush off towards the direction of the laughing and teasing. You can tell it’s a group by how the voices overlap. “Leave us alone!” Kiri shouts as you near, making you quicken your pace even more.

Finally reaching the shoreline, you duck under a bush, observing the situation closely before deciding to step in. “Baby tail!” One of the boys jeer, making the rest of them laugh as they push Lo’ak around and try to grab his tail.

You get ready to stand up and shut the group down, but your breath catches in your throat as you see Neteyam storm towards Ao’nung. He grabs Ao’nung’s shoulder and yanks him away from Lo’ak, a hostile look on his face.

“You heard what she said. Leave them alone.” Neteyam pokes his finger into Ao’nung’s chest, voice deadpan and serious. “Big brother coming-” Another idiot speaks up, but Ao’nung silences them.

Neteyam raises his finger, pointing directly at Ao’nung’s face. “Back off, now.” Neteyam’s voice sounds more threatening as his finger lowers back down to Ao’nung’s torso, lightly pushing him.

To your surprise, Ao’nung doesn’t respond. He simply raises his hands in the air and steps back with a smirk on his face. “Smart choice.” Neteyam says with a nod before turning to face the rest of the guys.

“From now on, I need you to respect my sister.” Neteyam glares at each one of them, his eyes piercing Ao’nung’s last. One of the boys hisses at Neteyam, but is once again quieted by Ao’nung. Even though you’re only a spectator, you can still feel the crushing tension of the whole situation.

“Let’s go.” Neteyam ushers his brother and sister away from the group, keeping his eyes trained on Ao’nung the whole time. He doesn’t turn away until Lo’ak and Kiri have passed him.

“Bye bye!” One of the boys laughs, making you roll your eyes. Can’t they just let it go? “Look at them, the whole family. They’re all freaks.” Ao’nung says, making Lo’ak stop dead in his tracks. He turns around and walks up to the group.

You watch him closely, wondering what he’s planning on doing. “I know this hand is funny. Look, I’m a freak. It’s alien,” Ao’nung tilts his head to the side, an amused grin on his face. “But it can do something really cool. First, I ball it up really tight like this. Then...”

You cover your mouth to muffle your gasp as Lo’ak punches Ao’nung in the jaw, then delivers two more punches directly to his face. Ao’nung falls to the ground, blood trickling from his nose.

“It’s called a punch bitch! Don’t every touch my sister again.” Lo’ak shouts, Ao’nung still down on the sand. Ao’nung quickly gets up and hisses at Lo’ak, tackling him to the ground.

Neteyam joins in to defend his brother, and things become an all-out brawl. You spring out the bush, running to Kiri’s side and watch them all fight. “Stop it!” Kiri shouts, both of you watching as the fighting becomes more intense. “This is stupid!” You follow, stamping your foot down. Ao’nung perks up at the sound of your voice, but barely even gets to glance out you before Neteyam’s fist connects with his cheek.

You hear Kiri laugh as the group shouts incoherently in pain, whining about tail and ear pulling. Her laughing makes you giggle, and eventually both of you are cracking up.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

“Loran, we were just messing-” You shush Ao’nung, pointing your finger at his face. “No, you weren’t! You were being a bully, Ao’nung. I hate when you get around those guys because all they do is encourage your awful behavior. I should beat you up myself!” You raise your hand to slap Ao’nung, who closes his eyes and winces.

“I’m not going to hit you, but you really make me want to.” You lower your hand, walking away from him. “I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have gone that far. I was going to leave them alone anyway!” He keeps the pace next to you, explaining himself further.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to, Ao’nung! You should be saying sorry to Kiri, Lo’ak, and Neteyam.” You say with an eyeroll, making him pout. “I’ll apologize to them, I swear.” Ao’nung moves in front of you, stopping you from walking. “Okay?” His fingers intertwine with yours, caressing your hands in the mesmerizing way he always does. “I’m sorry.”

It takes all of your determination to let go of Ao’nung, taking a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t forgive you. At least, not yet. I want to see you apologize to them myself.” You cross your arms, and look up at him. A frown spreads across his bruised face, followed by a groan.

“Aw, I’m sorry. It must be so hard for you to take accountability for your actions. You’re so brave for taking up this monumental task.” You say, each word dripping with sarcasm as you begin to walk again.

“I’ll do it, I promise! I just need some time, and I’m sure they do too. I mean, the fight just ended.” Ao’nung pleads, making you consider the decent point he made. “You know what, that’s fair. You should wait. In fact, I think that you should use this time to reflect on your actions! With that being said, this conversation is over.”

Ao’nung opens his mouth to speak, but quickly decides not to say anything to upset you further. He watches as you walk away, hoping that he hasn’t ruined your relationship.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

You see Neteyam on his way to his family’s marui, deep in conversation with Lo’ak. “Neteyam, Lo’ak!” You shout, running up from behind him. “Are you both alright? I saw the whole thing on the beach.” You notice the dried blood on Lo’ak’s nose and Ao’nung’s busted lip, along with a few other injuries.

“I am so sorry about what happened. I feel like I could’ve stopped it sooner.” Neteyam places his hand on your shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Loran. Ao’nung is the one we blame.” His voice is tender and kind, relaxing you. You see Lo’ak’s knowing smirk from behind Neteyam, making you slightly embarrassed.

“Why don’t you stick around? I’m sure Neteyam would love- ow!” Neteyam elbows Lo’ak in the side, making him cry out in pain. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s totally fine.” Neteyam shakes his head politely.

“As long as I’m not intruding, I’d love to join you. The two of you, I mean.” Neteyam smiles in response to your words, Lo’ak only chuckles.

“Has Ao’nung always been a skxawng, Loran? You’ve known him a long time, right?” Lo’ak asks, making you giggle at his forwardness. “Yeah, I’ve known him since we were really young. He’s always been a bit rough around the edges, but he isn’t a bad guy. I’m basically the one who keeps him in check.” You chuckle, thinking about all the memories the two of you share.

“He’s never done anything like this before though, it shocked me. I’m angry about it too, you two and Kiri deserve an apology,” You sigh, crossing your arms. “I’m... kind of glad you guys beat those four up. They deserved it.”

Neteyam and Lo’ak laugh in unison, causing you to as well. The three of you continue to talk until you reach the marui. You’re the last to step inside, a bit hesitant about entering the Sully’s home since the parents probably don’t know you well.

“What is the one thing I asked? The one thing?” A deep, commanding voice from behind startles you, and you turn around to see Jake Sully glaring at his sons. He looks over to you, a confused expression on your face.

“Who’s this?” Jake points to you and you can’t help but look down, berating yourself mentally for tagging along. “Her name is-” Neteyam starts, but Lo’ak interrupts him.

“Loran. You know, the girl Neteyam won’t shut up about?” Neteyam immediately facepalms and you cover your face with your hands, feeling your face getting hot with embarrassment.

“It’s nice to meet you Loran, now go wait outside.” Jake nods to you, then points to the entrance. You nod back and rush out, but can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation. You’re far enough to not be seen or discovered as soon as someone walks outside the marui, but close enough to hear almost everything.

You hear Jake repeat the first question he asked. “Stay out of trouble.” Lo’ak responds. “Stay out of trouble, right.” There’s a very brief pause before Neteyam speaks. “It was my fault.” You shake your head, knowing that he’s lying.

“No I don’t think so, you’ve got to stop taking the heat for this knucklehead.” Jake demands as you realize that this isn’t the first time Neteyam has tried to protect Lo’ak. It doesn’t surprise you in the slightest.

“Dad, Ao’nung was picking on Kiri. He called her a freak.” Lo’ak explains, and you hear his father’s exasperated sigh. “Go apologize to Ao’nung.” Jake says, eliciting a shocked “What?” from Lo’ak.

“He’s the chief’s son, do you understand? I don’t care how you do it, just go make peace. Just go!” Lo’ak leaves shortly after Jake’s words, barely giving you enough time to hide yourself better. Luckily, he doesn’t see you. Ao’nung has gotten away with many things due to being the son of the Olo'eyktan, and this time seems to be no different. It makes you even more frustrated the longer you think about it.

“Hey, so what’d the other guys look like?” You hear Jake ask Neteyam. “Worse. A lot worse.” You stifle a giggle, still not wanting to give away your position. “That’s good. Now get out of here.” You wait for Neteyam to pass you before slowly leaving your hiding spot.

“Neteyam!” You catch up to him once again, trying your best to make it look like you ran a good distance. “What happened? Where are you going?” You do an awful job at faking ignorance, and you see Neteyam raise an eyebrow. “I’m going to apologize to Ao’nung. But you already know that, right?” He smirks, causing you to sigh.

“You’re not mad at me for listening in, are you?” You question, looking away. “No, I’m not upset. Anyone would do the same in your situation, including me.” Neteyam shrugs as he begins to walk forward. You follow close behind.

“Why did you say the fight was your fault? Lo’ak started it, but I don’t even blame him considering that Ao’nung made that an opportunity in the first place. If anyone, you should’ve blamed Ao’nung.” You can’t help but be confused. You wouldn’t call yourself selfish, but you’d never take the blame for someone who’s guilty.

“I just can’t help it. My dad is pretty hard on all of us, but especially Lo’ak. I thought it’d be easier to take the blame since I know he wouldn’t react as negatively. I think I’ve been doing it too much, though. It’s not working anymore.” Neteyam chuckles softly as you listen intently.

“I don’t think you should be the one apologizing to Ao’nung. It should actually be reversed. He’s avoided responsibility constantly just because of who his parents are. It’s been like that since we were young.” You admit bitterly.

“How long have the two of you known each other?” Neteyam asks curiously. “Our parents have always been close, so I got to know him when I was very young. We’ve been friends for over ten years. I’d call him my best friend, and I think he’d say the same.” Neteyam gives you an unreadable expression, making you a bit nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“The two of you are so different, that’s all.” His words make you snicker, so you question him further. “How so?”

“Your personalities are so wildly different. You’ve always been patient and friendly, easy to get along with. Ao’nung is the opposite of that. I just wonder how the two of you managed to get along.” Neteyam says, making you laugh. “It takes a lot of patience to deal with someone like Ao’nung. But he has his moments, his great moments that make me so happy.” You’re about to ramble, but notice Neteyam’s conflicted expression and stop yourself.

“Sorry, this isn’t about him. I didn’t mean to get carried away.” You mutter, awkwardly fiddling with your hands. “No, it’s fine. I asked, I’m not upset at you.” He reassures you, his calm voice making you settle down.

“How about we take our mind off of what happened today? It was stupid and it shouldn’t happen again,” Neteyam nudges you. “I have a place in mind where we can unwind and relax.” You nod in agreement, your heartbeat quickening at the thought of being alone with Neteyam once again.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

Neteyam takes you to a familiar place, the secluded beach where the two of you almost kissed. When you realize the location, you feel your stomach doing somersaults. He notices your expression and puts a comforting hand on your back.

“I only chose this place because it was close and quiet, that’s all.” Neteyam sits down on the sand, patting the spot next to him. You follow suit, the sounds of the ocean making you feel just as calm as you did the first time you were here.

“I know you don’t think it’s my fault, but I’m still really sorry for not breaking up the group on the beach earlier. I could’ve stepped in before the fighting started but I didn’t, I feel like such a coward,” You sigh, looking down at the sand. “I made you get hurt, you and Lo’ak.”

“Loran, please. You shouldn’t blame yourself. I don’t blame you, nor does Lo’ak.” Neteyam reaffirms, placing his hand in yours. “I know you’re not mad. But I’m mad at myself. Your lip is busted and-” Neteyam shushes you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before speaking.

“Loran, I don’t care about what happened at the beach anymore. It’s why I wanted us to come here, to forget about it. Plus, I think I look pretty cool with a busted lip, don’t you agree?” His silly tone makes you laugh, tension melting away from your body. “Yes, I agree.” You say with a playful eyeroll.

“Let’s talk about something else.” Neteyam says as he inches his way closer to you. “Like what?” You ask, feeling your face getting warmer as he gets closer.

“Like how beautiful you look today.”

Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest after he says that, and you awkwardly laugh in response. “T-thank you.” You can barely get the words out of your mouth and a goofy smile spreads across your face. Neteyam has almost kissed you before, so why are you still so flustered when he talks to you like this?

“Loran, can I ask you a question?” Neteyam asks with a small smile on his face, amused by how nervous you are. “Sure.” You manage to say clearly, looking up at him with slightly more confidence. “Can we finish what we started yesterday?”

And just like that, the tiny amount of resolve that you built up came tumbling down. The thought of his lips on yours made you completely unable to speak. After a short pause, you nodded slowly.

Neteyam’s movements are slow and delicate, cupping your face in his hands as he brings your face closer to his. You feel your body implode in on itself as your lips connect, every sensation you feel being heightened tenfold. It’s unlike any feeling you’ve ever felt, and you can’t help but melt into the kiss.

The way Neteyam kisses you is sweet and tender, yet longing. You feel his hands make their way up your back, lightly pulling you closer. You ignore the subtle, metallic taste of blood on his lips, focusing entirely on the indescribable sensation of his lips on your and his hands moving up and down you.

Eventually, the two of you pull away from each other. You don’t stop staring at him until he laughs at how astonished you look. “Was that- was that your first time kissing someone?” Neteyam says, catching his breath. You snap yourself out of your trance. “Y-yes! Was it yours too?” You ask, your voice still shaky. You smile when he nods in response.

“That was amazing,” You say, warmth radiating throughout your body. “I’ve never felt that way before, ever.”

Neteyam puts his arm around you. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you.” He whispers into your ear, making you blush even more than you already have been.

“It was your original idea to kiss me, wasn’t it?” You smirk at him, and he shrugs with a laugh. “And if it was?” Neteyam responds with a knowing grin. “Then... I guess you succeeded.” You giggle, laying your head on his shoulder.

The two of you remain in that position, listening to the waves crash softly onto the sand and simply enjoying the presence of one another in bliss.

࿐ ࿐ ࿐

Additional Notes: I got a LOT of comments on the last part telling me to recategorize my story from “x reader” to “x oc”. I will not be doing that. Simply put, I have seen others do the exact same thing and not have one person question them or point it out. However, I will be adding the x oc tag to this and future Ocean Eyes posts. Part 3 will come (as long as this is successful PLSFHJDHV) and I hope you enjoyed reading! If you want to be added to the taglist for future parts, just let me know. I usually update my profile about future parts so follow me if you want to stay updated on the progress of my future works. Thank you for reading!! 💙

#avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2 #james cameron's avatar #neteyam x reader #neteyam #neteyam x oc #aonung x reader #aonung x oc #aonung #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung #loak x reader #lo'ak x reader #jake sully x reader #avatar twow #na'vi x reader

268 notes · View notes

footballfanficwriter · 2 years ago

Text

Questions

Summary: In which Jude is in an interview and asked about the reader

Time period: A few years after the world cup

"Welcome back to another episode of one on one, today we are joined by one of the world's greatest midfielders Jude Bellingham, Jude how are you" the interviewer asks

"I'm great man, how are you"

"Good thanks, now you have been to the world cup a few years ago and played against Kylian Mbappe can you please tell us what that was like"

"Uhm well I'll tell you one thing the man's got speed,a really amazing player, great talent but playing against him was something I kinda found hard to fathom and get it into my head, I mean we tried our best to hold on as long as possible and all that matters is that we tried our best"

"Ok I wanna ask a bit about your personal life if that's fine" the interviewer says

"No sure go ahead"

"Your Wife Y/N can you tell us a bit about her"

"Well y/n is my wife, she's the mother of my three lovely kids ,she is my best friend, the love of my life and I don't think I would still be here if it wasn't for her and my mom"

"That's sweet, can you tell us how you met your wife"

" uhm well we met at a red carpet event where she was her brother's plus one and we were placed next to one another so we just started having conversations and at the end of the night we exchanged numbers and after first becoming best friends, about a year later I confessed my feelings for her and she told me she felt the same and we dated for a few years then tied the knote"

"What's something that just makes you fall in love with her again"

"She has this weird laugh that freaks some people out but cause it sounds weird so when I hear her laugh it just reminds or takes me back to the times I would make her laugh before we were dating and I'd get the same reaction"

"What's one thing that just sometimes annoys you about her"

"Nothing she's perfect and I love her so much"

" I've never heard someone answer a question like that, I usually get 'the way she controls the household or how she wants everything presise'

"Well my wife's not like other wife's I mean yes she has her tendency of being a bit controlling, but once she realizes she doing it she immediately stops and asks us on our opinions of what we want to do"

"Who does the cooking and looking after the kids in the house"

" well it's the both of us ,sometimes we'll rotate like I'll do the cooking while she looks after the kids and vice versa, because I can't expect her to do all that by herself, it'll strain her physically and emotionally and I can't let that happen"

"Would you say that if your wife wasn't in your life that you'd have still made it"

"No, absolutely not, my wife has seen me at my lowest and my highest, she's always been there to help and pick me up when I was at my lowest and support me at my highest and same goes for her I saw her at her lowest and her highest and I'm really proud of the things she's achieved .

"And how's fatherhood treating you"

" Fatherhood has it moments when it tough and times when it's enjoyable, my kids they are growing up so fast you know, it feels like just yesterday I was holding them for the first time"

"Can you please share a moment that you shared with your children"

"There was this one time when I had gotten home late from practice and Leilani my 5year old daughter was still up playing with her toys, when I asked her why she was up she told me she was waiting for me to come back home cause she had something important to tell me or rather ask me"

"What did she wanna say"

"She said to me, Daddy I love you so much and I always will, because you will always have a special place in my heart, but I have a boyfriend and he's gonna be my husband cause we're getting married, I looked at her in shock because I wasn't expecting that, then I told her she had to break up with him and she started crying, so I told her she can have her boyfriend and she stopped crying, right before asking me to read her a story book and tuck her in, when I refused she started crying until I agreed"

"Well thank you so much Jude for joining us today I really enjoyed it"

"No problem mate and thank you too"

182 notes · View notes

stonedstargazer666 · 2 months ago

Text

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....

#stoned rae #yes I have been very stoned writing this......#honestly.... it's its only thing I really can do.#although my stepmom has involved us kids in every step of this process....#and giving us a choice whether or not we want to bury dad or cremate him.....#it's nice #very nice.#but I'm ok but not ok.#I am safe #I am loved #a lot of back and forth emotions right now.....#BIIIGGGGGG FEEELLLIINGGGSSSSS #wooobooyyyy #we are cremating him.#We all want a lil piece of him with us #I feel proud of myself for being present for the conversation... I kinda remember it lol #but we all agree that we want to cremate him.#cause his other wish...#we can't do....#This man #wants to be buried ass up #butt naked #with a sign that says “Kiss my ass” and heavy metal playing in the background.#I think that would be funny as hell #but my stepmoms family #wouldn't like it that much #and well. I like my stepmoms family.#so we respect dem!#lol #Otay I done rambling

10 notes · View notes