#three cheese blend
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
305unreal's "Amazing Colossal Rewrite" outline (crossposted with their permission)
Notes: Unrequited Becky/Scoops; Becky’s birthday is in the middle of summer; Tobey is an introverted roboticist but not a villain
2007. 5th Grade: 2-minute episodes
Summer: Movie trailer → Chuck! (1m-105a)
6th Grade, Fall: Down with Word Up → Swap Meat (105b-112b)
2008. 6th Grade, Spring: Granny’s Goodtime → Villain School (113a-123b)
Summer: Return of the Reprise → Dr. Three-Brains (124a-126b)
7th Grade, Fall: A Vote for Becky → Oh, Holiday Cheese (201a-219a)
Includes “Field Day with Robo-Tobey”
2009. 7th Grade, Spring: Ch-Ch-Ch-Change Day → Seeds of Doubt (219b-223b)
Summer: Wishful Thinking → Oh, What a Tangled Knot (224a-226a)
8th Grade, Fall: Kids Action News → The Straw That Broke (226b-309a)
Includes “Bummertime”
2010. 8th Grade, Spring: Nocan, the Evil Ingredient → Tangent Returns (309b-407b)
Includes “Cherish is the Word”
Summer: Have Snob → A World without WordGirl (408a-413)
Includes “Tobey’s Playground Calamity”
Freshman, Fall: Seize the Cheese → Say It Again, Eileen (501a-509b)
Includes “Talent Show Tobey”
Tobey is jealous of Becky being his boyfriend’s magic assistant; Tobey recites poetry while showcasing his latest robot
2011. Freshman, Spring: Hello, New Year → Dinner or Consequences (510a-513)
Summer: Rise of Miss Power → Who Wants to Get Rid of WordGirl (601-603a)
Sophomore, Fall: Talented Mr. Big → High-Five Sandwich (603b-606a)
2012. Sophomore, Spring: Robot Problem → Dr. Two-Brains, Mr. Cheese (606b-609a)
Summer: Kitty Cat Criminals → Go, Gadget, Go (609b-612a)
Junior, Fall: Emergency Plan 999 → Accordion to Tradition (612b-710a)
Includes “It’s Your Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”
2013. Junior, Spring: Can’t Touch This → Royally Framed (710b-713a)
Summer: WordGirl vs. Tobey vs. The Dentist → Patch Game (713b-805)
“Patch Game” is also called “El Monte”
Senior, Fall: Girls Day Out → Trustworthy Tobey (806a-807a)
2014. Senior, Spring: The Tooth Hurts → Dr. WordGirl-Brains (807b-809b)
Summer: Tim Botsford, Neighborhood → Rhyme and Reason (810a-812)
#fanfic#wordgirl#outline#story outline#fic outline#mingcallister#fancy ham#provoclone#three cheese blend#becky botsford bashing#there are many benefits to being a marine biologist#there are many ships
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Three's a Sideshow
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Part 2 || Part 3 Summary: Spencer misses an important date and ends up paying the consequences Trope:Angst w.c: 4.2k a/n: this is one of the many many requests of @lavonee (her exact request was: maybe spencer misses an important date/anniversary because of jj and reader is finally fed up being second place to her) trying my best to address all of them. Not proofread. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist

The hazy dim light of each candle on the white linen covered table gave the restaurant an orange hue. Various aromas of meat, wine, and complimentary cheese wafted through the enclosed space. Sensual tones of the saxophone lightly played on the speakers perfectly weave through each muted conversations between loved ones—couples and families. The high-end restaurant basked in good food and great company.
Everything was perfect.
Every costumer joyous and warm from the delicious wine.
All except for one, alone by the corner booth, phone pressed to your ear and eyes scanning for the tall, lithe form of the date for the night.
Beep. Beep. Be—
You grimaced at the busy line tone that answered you, again. Hands gripping the draped linen, trying your best not to tap your newly manicured fingers on the table—trying to blend into the background, unsuccessfully.
You stuck out like a sore thumb. All dressed up with no partner or food on the table, just a glass of once chilled wine—condensation all around it like tears of abandonment and longing.
The same waitress who escorted you to the table—15 minutes ago, approached with a perfectly rehearsed smile.
“Ma’am, are we ready to order?”
You sighed. “Actually, my boyfriend isn’t here yet—”
She bit her lip, nodding, before quickly averting her eyes to the queued up line outside the premise.
Right. It was a Friday night and every adult in the vicinity wanted a night out to unwind and start their weekend on the right foot.
You tightly smiled, the embarrassment of tonight painting your cheeks a deep maroon, unnoticed through the flickering of the orange candlelight. “—you know what, I think I’d just have a slice of your chocolate cake to go. Yeah, I’m sorry about holding up the table.”
The waitress nodded, understanding washing on her face. “That’s alright. I’ll have your order packed and ready to go.”
“Thanks,” you murmured as you watched her leave.
Tonight was suppose to be special.
You dressed up in the same white with purple printed flower midi length dress, styled your hair effortlessly, and spritzed on your favorite perfume that smelled like a luscious garden after a rainy night.
Everything was just like how it was two weeks ago—including your boyfriend of three years, Spencer Reid, not showing up for the date.
You didn’t even know why you bothered. Why his promise of being here tonight made you feel giddy and trusting. Why his commitment on having do-over for the actual anniversary dinner that he missed two weeks ago made you think it was going to end differently and why you gave him another chance—
Another chance to let you down.
Another crack in your belief that you were important.
Another heartache to soothe.
Another let down.
When you first entered the relationship, you understood the gravity of his work. How his career will always come first and how unpredictable it all may be.
That part—accepting those facts, were easy. You were always one to be tolerant and understanding ever since childhood, labeled as the easy kid—the independent, the self-sufficient. Mixed in with your highly demanding career as a doctor, you got it—the patience and consideration of a saint.
A martyr, your good friend once bluntly said.
But what good was being a martyr when the person you’re killing yourself for didn’t notice?
It didn’t matter at first. Missed messages, missed calls, missed dates were just a work of rotten timing from both ends. Sometimes it was you having to run to the hospital for an emergency surgery and sometimes it was him having to catch a plane to a latest serial killer case.
The tandem of both independent and busy people in the relationship worked, love blossomed regardless.
What made it different was, there was three of you in the relationship.
The third party being an intense platonic, as he once defended, connection with Her.
You felt it for the first time during a get together with his found family. Your set of eyes trained to read in between the lines for the truth patients unwittingly hide from their doctor. It was a skill that you honed and never hated, up until that moment.
The stolen glances when the other wasn’t looking.
The emotion veiled between the eyes.
The unsaid words that seemed to spill from the silence.
Never mind that there were two presences in the vicinity that could have their life altered in any minute from the secrets long hidden in vaults. It was as if you and her husband were considered ornaments, pieces of a possible aftermath not worth saving.
You knew of their past—Spencer admitting to having a crush on her during his early days with the team and asking her out on a baseball game date.
Everything was water under the bridge, your boyfriend assured you. But the thing was, water had a way of overflowing from confinement, turning deadly, and ravaging what once was an idyllic garden that bloomed from your affection.
Now as you pay for the tab and collect your things, you felt the tides that destroyed the solace inside of you well up to your eyes—wanting the release you’re fighting to keep at bay.
A fight you’re bound to lose.
You whispered a thank you to the waitress, soft and quiet that you were unsure if she even heard it but that was the best you could do, the sobs closing your vocal chords and threatening to escape, making you a spectacle—leaving the restaurant alone, with a boxed cake on hand.
What a sad sight.
You fumbled with the phone again, hands shaking as you insert the key on the ignition.
Beep. Beep. Be—
Nothing.
What even was the point of all of this, you wondered. All this emotion, love, that was once sweet and heavenly now all felt rotten, puss oozing from its pores and flies exalting for a feast.
Slowly backing your black 4-door sedan out of the parking lot, you pondered if this was the end—did you have any more left to give? Or was this just a bump on the road for the your future selves to learn and heartily laugh about?
———
The rattling of your keys as you dropped it on the ceramic plate across the main door disrupted the silent, empty apartment.
A small smile graced your face as you remembered spontaneously booking a ceramic wheel class with Spencer in tow. His initial worries about getting under the nails dirty and the bacteria that could be collected from any stranger that used the items before the both of you swept away with your giggles and assurances to double up on vitamins.
There was a wide grin on his face then, accepting defeat from the sight of your enthusiasm and glee.
It was one of your greatest memory with Spencer and when the glazed pottery came from the mail—yours, a wonky blue green plate and his, an uneven moss green bowl, you had him promise to take you again.
A promise that never came to fruition.
You sighed, eyes tracking the rented space you never quite moved in to. The walls painted this dark green color, reflecting the somber mood you frequently found yourself in and the shelves filled to the brim with books you never dream of reading.
in hindsight, maybe your subconscious was telling you something. Why you never agreed to Spencer’s casual asking of you to live with him. Why you were adamant of keeping your own apartment regardless of the nights you spent outside of it.
This place became your pseudo-home, comfortable but never quite permanent.
The distant murmur of a car being parked on the street had you clambering up from your defeated, slouched position on the leather couch. In your gut, you knew who it was.
You spotted them exiting the SUV.
The two figures that make the relationship three—a sideshow for everyone to see.
Spencer and JJ.
They talked for a bit, probably saying pleasantries of goodbyes, before she leaned in for a hug. One that he reciprocated, patting her back as he went.
They looked like a couple and if you were in your right state of mind, you’d chalk the exchange up to nothing but you weren’t—you were wounded and unsure of your standing ever since you exited the restaurant.
Were you his first still?
Or were you just second place?
They were questions you never wanted no, needed, to be addressed but it seemed like tonight was the night of reckoning.
As you watched Spencer enter the apartment, the smile on his face from spotting you slowly become a furrow between his brows, you fidgeted—pulling the coat tighter to your body, the one you never hung on the back of the door—ready to bolt.
“Love, I’m so sorry I missed our reservation—”
He went in for a kiss on your glossy lips.
A simple act that you didn’t have the energy to accept, you turned your head to the side. His lips catching your cheek instead.
“It’s fine,” you sardonically replied. “It wasn’t like I was waiting for you for half an hour to show up. It’s fine, Spencer.”
His brow twitched.
“It sounds like it’s not fine. Why don’t you tell me what you really feel? We promised to openly communicate, didn’t we?”
You huffed, throwing your hands up in the air. “I said it’s fine, Spencer. Why don’t you give it a rest?”
“You look beautiful,” his calloused fingers gently caressing your hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t show. It’s just that JJ and the tea—”
Your last thread of reason snapped clean from hearing her name.
“It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it? Me coming after her?”
“Love.”
“Don’t touch me—don’t call me that,” you pushed his hands away, tucking the escaped tendrils behind your ears.
His own, raking the wavy brown hair you loved, in frustration. You could tell, with how his hands opened and closed, that he was itching to touch you, comfort you.
“Her? You mean, JJ? She’s a friend. Just a friend.”
“And if this friend wasn’t married with kids, would you still be here with me now?”
Silence.
There, you said it.
“What—yes, yes of course. Why would you ask that? Why would you doubt it? Doubt me?”
Your gut twisted inside of you. It was inconceivable for someone like Spencer to lie, wasn’t it? He was a good guy, one of the best. But all the hidden resentment in your heart—a pile you weren’t even aware of, no longer wanted to be silenced. It no longer wanted to be pushed to the side for optimism and denial.
“I don’t know, Spencer. Maybe it’s the way you look at her—” voice raising up an octave. You’ve lost control, verbally dumping out everything. “Do you think I don’t see it? You look at her with this, this nostalgia and—and this emotion that I can’t compare to—never seen it when you look at me! Or maybe, maybe it’s because you drop everything for her? Including me?”
“Are you talking about when Henry got sick?” his hands finding a home on his hips. “I thought you understood—you of all, should have.”
Your laughter turned into a sob. “I do—I did, until you dropped me of unceremoniously back here, in this apartment, just so you could rush out to her home. Like I was some kind of secret, you didn’t want to bring around her. Like I was some sort of disease, you didn’t want her catching. Didn’t you think I would be of great help? A licensed medical doctor?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight—I thought you, you shouldn’t be exposed to the type of flu Henry contracted. You could have gotten sick too and could have passed it on to your other patients.”
“It’s my job to take care of the sick, don’t you think I take measures for my own health? Spencer, please, for once just be honest with me.”
He tilted his head. “Honest about what?”
“If it’s her you really want and if I’m just a passable substitute to settle down with.”
You could see his eyes blazing with such—disgust? Anger? You didn’t know what emotion it was before it was snuffed out, leaving his expression blank and almost sad. It was a look you were familiar with, his profiler look.
“I don’t need you profiling me and my insecurities, Spencer. I just want the truth. The God-honest truth.”
“I love you. I can’t imagine a life without you—I won’t imagine it. Isn’t that enough?”
Your hands drop to your side.
“I don’t know. Is it?”
The distance created by the silence between you and Spencer was vast. You’ve never felt quite alone and isolated in the relationship until this moment. Was this it, then? The end to your once dreamed of happy ever after?
“I’m sorry I missed the dinner. Why don’t you let me make it up to you? We can book the same restaurant for next week and—”
“You can’t just make up for a make up anniversary dinner, that’s not how it works in real life, Spencer. And besides, I don’t want to see the same pitying looks the workers there give me when they realize my date is again, and again, a no-show.”
He sighed, slowly invading your space. The arms that once felt like home to you, circling your waist, now felt foreign. You never imagined you’d get here but then again, who did?
Your hands clasped his button down before loosening its grip. Taking in one more whiff of his cedar-wood and mint perfume, you pushed him away. Stepping backwards from his presence and all he had to offer.
“It’s late. We’re both tired—”
He nervously smiled. Intertwining his fingers with yours and started to walk backwards to the direction of the bedroom. “Yeah, we can talk about it in the morning once you feel better.”
You wiggled your hand free.
“Actually, I think I have to go.”
Spencer paused, panic coloring his face. “That’s—that’s not what I meant, love. Anything but that. Please, please I love you and I’m sorry.”
“Me too, Spence. Me too.”
You slowly gathered your things, sans the chocolate cake left opened and untouched on the coffee table.
“Happy anniversary, I need space to think this all through—to think us through.”
He stood still, blocking your way, trying to wrap his head around the direction this was going to. The inevitable downfall of him and you. It was a car crash no one could no longer escape from.
“Please, let me fix this. I can do it, just—tell me how. Do you want me to limit my time spent with JJ? I-I can try, just please, don’t leave me.”
It wasn’t a promise, you noted. With how many broken promises there were between the span of your relationship, you wondered if that was a conscious choice of wording from him. It sounded hopeful, gleaming with oath even. But they were just words at the end of the day, packaged pretty for you to swallow.
“I need time, Spencer. I’m not breaking up with you, I just need space,” you placed a kiss on his cheek, wet from tears. “Can you give me that, love?”
He choked a sob.
“Promise me you’ll be back. Promise me.”
You tightly smiled, making your way back to the door. The unanswered plea hanging in the air like a blade, waiting to slash down between you—waiting to sever the connection that was once shiny and new.
Shakily removing the spare key of the apartment from your chain, you chanced one last look at his hunched form—sobs emitting from his sweet lips and acid rain spilling down his cherub cheeks, regretting that this might be your last memory of Spencer Reid.
You didn’t know if you’d be back.
If the thought of being second place will ever go away.
But the sinking feeling in your gut tells you the truth—that this is it.
This is final.
This is the end.

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#Spencer reid#Spencer Reid fanfiction#Spencer Reid imagine#Spencer Reid fic#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#Spencer Reid x reader#Spencer Reid x fem!reader#Spencer Reid x y/n#Spencer Reid x self insert#Spencer Reid x you#Spencer Reid oneshot#Spencer Reid one shot#Spencer Reid sad#Spencer Reid angst
2K notes
·
View notes
Text


bunjy recipe book- Crustless Quiche of Eternal Dinners
this is a reliable, quick, and infinitely modifiable recipe that uses an entire three eggs plus whatever you have in the fridge to give you and several friends an excellent dinner time! crust is the most labor intensive and also the most boring part of the quiche, so getting rid of it really opens up entire worlds of possibilities for what is basically a very easy modifiable egg pie.
you will need:
a glass or porcelain 9-in pie dish, well greased
3 eggs
1/3 cup milk
1/3 cup heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste
this will give you a basic custard to enclose your fillings! and the fillings are up to you- good basic combinations to add are cheese/vegetables (like leek/gruyere), cheese/starch (like sharp cheddar/potatoes), cheese/vegetable/starch (like smoked cheddar/sweet onions/potatoes), cheese/vegetable/meat (like mozzarella/rehydrated sun-dried tomatoes/italian sausage), and cheese/meat (like cream cheese and lox).
you will need to fully cook your ingredients before you add them to the quiche if they are raw- saute your veggies and meats (DON'T FORGET TO ADD SALT), shred your cheese, and microwave your potatoes before chopping them into chunks. make sure that you remove any liquid or excess oil from your ingredients before you add them, as they can cause bubbles of weird hot liquid or a lot of oil buildup under your quiche. just put them on a paper towel for a little bit before you add them to the dish.
you can also add some spices to your custard when you mix it to complement your ingredients! there should always be salt and black or white pepper in there, but think about what other spices you have lying around that might go with what you're using. if you're doing mozzarella/sun-dried tomatoes/Italian sausage, add a couple shakes of italian seasoning blend, or basil/oregano/terragon! if you're doing cream cheese/lox, throw some dill in there! using a smoked cheese? add smoked paprika! you can add anything from dry spices to a couple shakes of hot sauce, mustard, or even worcestershire sauce if you think it'll work. sky is the limit.
once your ingredients are dry and your custard is assembled, you're ready to build your quiche! take your empty pie pan and grease it up real well with olive oil or butter, and layer in your starch and/or meat if you're using either of those. add your veggies in a thin layer on top of this, and then cover the whole thing in a layer of shredded cheese if you're using it! (cream cheese, ricotta, and cottage cheese should be swirled into the custard instead) lastly, pour in your custard and tease the vegetables and cheese around with a fork until everything is mostly submerged.
bake in a 350° preheated oven for 30 minutes and allow to cool before slicing.
keeps well in the fridge for over a week, some assemblages are good hot or cold! enjoy your infinite dinners.
801 notes
·
View notes
Text



























#PapaJohns #PapaJohnCustomParamesanCrustedAnchoviesThreeCheeseBlendPineappleAlfredoSaucePapadia #BuffaloDippingSauce #Papadia #ParamesanCrustedPapadiaReview
I tried a Papa John's Custom Anchovies, Three Cheese Blend, and Pineapple With Alfredo Sauce as the base sauce Paramesan Crusted Papadia with Buffalo Dipping Sauce and it was pretty good.
This papadia was sweet and salty while also cheesy. But not overly of the three to me. The alfredo sauce was light though on this papadia and the three cheese blend went well with the parmesan crust. The crust was soft and crunchy and the anchovies were salty which went well with the sweet pineapple.
I actually love anchovies and pineapple on pizza but i'm not really into spicy stuff.
The buffalo dipping sauce smelled spicy and tasted spicy while lightly salty but not overly salty to me. This was liquidly in texture and will give you a slow burn if you eat a lot of it. This gave the papadia a spicy kick and didn't taste overly salty to me. This dipping sauce also tasted smoky to me.
The Pepperoncini Pepper was fresh and a little spicy when I bit into it. This tasted fresh and was soft but firm when I ate this pepper.
This tasted a little salty to me but not overly to me.
I would eat this again.
#Papa Johns#Papa John Custom Paramesan Crusted Anchovies Three Cheese Blend Pineapple AlfredoSauce Papadia#Buffalo Dipping Sauce#Papadia#Paramesan Crusted Papadia Review
1 note
·
View note
Text
Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman
so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.
but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!
and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking
(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.
but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)
so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!
lookit that guy! he's a real guy!
both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast
the more you know!
anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:
when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.
when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!
(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)
for now: we begin
so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.
two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.
so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:
2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man
...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that


hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky
okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.
so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"
I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!
(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)


mmm, yes. very smooth
...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!
a new discovery is made every day in this house.
okay, time to start mixing things together.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?
(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)



okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.
lastly: the cabbage

oh. oh this is not very nice
next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

ah. this bowl is too big.
hey, these'll work!

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.
(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!



look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)
hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!
let's build our boy

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly
no no no he almost fell over!!
okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.
and...okay. he is complete.
behold!


gaze upon my beautiful man!
(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)
now it's time to stab him

and...to devour him

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.
and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.
it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.
...I don't like this!
and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(


RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.
(note from current!me: I could not.
I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.
after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.
do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?
bad. the answer is: bad.
I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.
do not try this recipe at home)
#food crimes#vintage recipe#vintage cooking#frosty slaw man#frosty the slaw man#hellmann's#best foods#(like the brand not the concept of the slaw man)#(he is not the best food. he will haunt me. never again)#I could improve upon him tbh. like there's definitely a form of this that could be edible#but I'd do it with cream cheese for structural integrity instead of gelatin and cottage cheese#he could be more of a cheese ball#that'd be fine#but this? no. don't try this#it's a lot of work for too much slaw and not much flavor
676 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Au Pair Boy Part 2
We interrupt your regularly schedule "Of Butterflies and Backstrokes" for another chapter of the nanny AU. I just need to cut down on the amount of backlog I have on this story and bolster OB&B while I work on the Halloween-esque metal band sequel "Around the World".
I am living for the responses to this fic. It makes my heart so happy!
In this we have a correct Robin, well... a mostly correct Robin and they all get to know each other a bit over dinner.
Part 1
~
Steve walked into his apartment feeling like he was walking on air. He never thought he would get his dream job, in his dream house, with his dream guy, who was gay. Like what did he do to warrant such a windfall?
The first thing he did was call Robin.
“Are you sure he isn’t some mass murderer?” Robin asked after he had explained the job. “Because that sounds too good to be true.”
“Well unless major rockstar and music producer, Eddie Munson is a mass murder,” he snarked back, “I high doubt I’m going to be murdered in my sleep.”
“You could be being catfished,” she warned. “He could only be pretending to be Eddie Munson just lure handsome young men to their deaths.”
Steve laughed. “Uh...no. The pictures online matched all the way to the cute dimpled smile he gets when he’s feeling super happy.”
“Ooh...” Robin teased. “Hot musician got it bad for the au pair boy.”
“No...” he whined. “He was looking at his daughters when he smiled like that. No dating the hot parents. That’s the number one rule. You know this.”
She burst out laughing, too. “For the married ones! But he’s single. It’s been a year since his very public break up with ex Ethan Giovanni. He’s trusting you with the two cutest girls ever. Like why not tap that?”
“Because I want to keep watching said little girls,” Steve huffed. “Plus he’s going on tour for three months in two days. Not going to happen.”
“Yeah,” Robin said. “For now.”
He told her about how they wanted to him to start that night and how this was the final test on whether or not he would be good fit.
“Knock ‘em dead, babe,” Robin said. “You’ve got this.”
~
Steve opted for a chicken lasagna with white sauce. He could sneak some vegetables in there and see if he could trick them into eating them.
He shredded the chicken and blended spinach and basil into the sauce. Added lots of shredded cheese as well as a well seasoned ricotta and popped in the oven.
While it was cooking he went up to the room that would be his if he got the job. It was large for some place where the help would be staying, but small in comparison to the girls room. Which they shared for now. Once they started school, Eddie said that they would be given their own rooms, but with them being so young it was good to keep them together.
Steve agreed.
He was close by, but he also had a baby monitor with camera that the app would be downloaded to his phone.
The house was well fitted with security measures that had only been tightened since the girls were born.
The room had that same Gothic, spooky feel, but wasn’t over the top with it. Instead of reds and blacks the room was dark browns and deep blues. Steve felt like he was floating on a ship on the high seas. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully.
He wondered if he could go a little harder on the nautical theme. There was an en suite bathroom that could also lean toward the nautical with its soft blues and teal color of the tiles and walls.
Eddie had given him a budget to decorate his rooms and now he was planning a shopping trip with Robin.
Steve knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he wanted the job so bad. Surely the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt him with it only to take it away.
He checked the timer on his phone and saw that it was almost time to check on the lasagna. He trotted back down the kitchen, again admiring the decor of the place. Everything felt antique but timeless at the same time.
He really did love it.
The kitchen was even stylishly antique in look and flavor, but all the appliances were state of the art. Only nothing was connected to the internet here. It was honestly freeing in that regard.
He hummed to himself as he pulled the dish out of the oven and set it on the stove top to let it firm up a bit before serving. He started to get down plates and cups for dinner. He quickly set the table for three adults and two children. Noting that one plate had a pink kangaroo and the other had a blue ballerina.
Steve correctly guessed which plate where as each girl came running up to the seats that they were sitting in for lunch and gasped in surprise that the right plate was in the right spot.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Joan cried. “He didn’t put my plate in Jannie’s spot!”
Eddie grinned down at his youngest. “So he did. Say thank you.” He turned to Janice, too. “You too, little miss.”
“Thank you, Stevie!” Joan and Janice said together.
Steve practically melted on the spot. He wanted to scoop them up and hold them forever. “I hope you’re all hungry, I made enough for an army.”
He set the dish on a couple of hotplates and everyone, yes even the girls, oohed and awed.
“This looks amazing, Steve,” Eddie said, positively salivating. “You didn’t have to go this far. Something simple would have been just fine.”
“Yeah, Steve,” Chrissy said, leaning forward to smell the lasagna. “I might have to haunt this place while Eddie’s gone if you’re going to cook like this, sweetie.”
Steve blushed as he dished out the lasagna, before serving himself a slice. He picked up his plate and silverware (which looked like actual antique silver, he was not looking foward to handwashing them later) to move to the kitchen.
Eddie looked up at him with his big puppy dog eyes. “Where are you going? You’re going to eat with us right?”
Steve looked around the table and no one said a word against it. “Oh. Um... I’ve never eaten with the whole family before. I eat with the kids when it’s just us, but usually when the parents are there, they want me to eat in the kitchen.”
“Sit.”
Steve set his stuff back on the table and next to Eddie. The only other open on the far end of the table. He dug into his lasagna.
“So you want to break down their evening routine for me?” Steve asked after his second or third bite.
“No business at the dinner table!” Joan cried, kicking her feet in protest.
“Yeaahhhh...” Janice chorused. “That’s the rule.”
Steve raised an eyebrow at Eddie. Who coughed into his fist and looked more than a little sheepish. There was definitely a story there and judging from the sly grin Chrissy was giving him, Eddie was no doubt the reason for said rule.
Eddie cleared his throat and set down his fork. “I’m, was a music producer for a very prominent metal label and before that I was the lead singer of ‘Corroded Coffin’. One of the few and I mean very few valid points my ex had was that I wouldn’t be present at the dinner table.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.
“I would either be talking some band or another, messaging different people about the record I was working on or even just on the phone with former members of my band. So when I quit two years ago to try and save my marriage I still had people calling me and asking for my opinion, so the rule no business at the table was born.”
Steve smiled down at his plate. “No business at the dinner table then.” He paused and tilted his head to the side. “Would be asking you girls what you like business or just being friendly?”
Both girls looked at Eddie for guidance. “I leave it up to you, girls. I think it falls under being friendly.”
Joan cocked her head the side and instantly Steve was struck on how much like her dad she was. “I think it’s business,” she said with a pout. “Like in preschool.”
“I think it’s friendly,” Janice said, just to be contrary to her sister.
Chrissy and Eddie shared a knowing smirk and Steve realized this was a new thing and they might need those separate rooms sooner rather than later.
“How about we compromise,” Steve said gently. “I’ll tell you something about me, and if you want to you can share your favorite thing. Like if I said my favorite color was yellow, you could tell me what your favorite color is. But you don’t have to.”
“My favorite color is pink,” Janice said proudly. “Daddy says my room will be pink.”
Joan stuck her tongue out at her sister, because she knew she was had. “My favorite color is blue.”
“My favorite color is black,” Eddie said, joining in. “And red. Can’t forget red.”
Chrissy giggled. “Well, I guess if everyone else getting in on this, mine is green. I love that it’s the color of fresh cut grass, and spring, and how hot I look in it.”
Steve snorted as he was bringing his glass up to drink. Thankfully he wasn’t quite drinking when she said that. “Green’s a great color.”
Eddie and Chrissy shared another smirk.
“Ooh, I know why don’t we go around in circle,” Eddie suggested. “Like my favorite movie is ‘Lord of the Rings: Return of the King’.”
Steve smiled around his cup and then set it down. “I like that idea. My favorite movie is ‘The King’s Speech’. Colin Firth as King George VI and learning how to overcome his stutter? Amazing.”
Janice bounced up and down in her seat excitedly when she proudly cried, “Paddington Bear!”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yep, and now there always has to be marmalade in the house at all times.”
Steve chuckled. Poor Dad. “Have you seen the second one yet?” He knew there was a second one, but not when it came out.
Janice nodded fiercely. “Poor Paddington!”
“Barbie and 12 Dancing Princesses’!” Joan replied next. “There are so many pretty dresses in that one!”
“Ooh,” Steve cooed. “That’s a fun one. And there are so many Barbie movies to chose from, have you watched all of them yet?”
Joan nodded as Eddie shook his head sadly. “So, so, so many times. Same with both Paddington Bear movies. So have fun.” He flashed Steve a smile that was half between a grin and a grimace.
“Well I haven’t seen any of them yet,” Steve said with a wink a Janice. “You’ll have to show them to me tomorrow.”
“My current favorite is ‘The Quiet Place: Day One’,” Chrissy said. “Lupita Nyong’o is just too gorgeous for me to not watch every movie she’s in. I even watched Marvel movies for her and I’m a DC girlie all the way.”
They went around the table learning favorite books and other things about each other. Joan forced to participate so she wouldn’t be left out of the conversation. Then after they were all done. Steve cleaned up and put the leftovers into the fridge.
Then he watched as Eddie put his girls to bed. They got baths on Tuesdays and Saturdays unless they were super messy that day. They brushed their teeth to Daniel Tiger song and got into their pajamas.
Well...pajamas for Janice and a nightgown for Joan. Each one got a different story complete with all the different voices. He was assured he wouldn’t have to do the voices. That was only a Daddy thing.
Then the lights were turned off leaving the glow of the bumblebee nightlight to lighten the room and find its way into Steve’s heart.
~
Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
Tag List: CLOSED
1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
9- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife
10- @kultiras @morallyundefined @ollieolive
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#nanny au#nanny steve harrington#rockstar eddie munson
191 notes
·
View notes
Text
Elden Ring Guide: Children of Marika
Elden Ring's DLC is out and with it come more hard to remember names. Luckily, you can remember Marika's godly offspring with a simple mnemonic: "MMMMMMM." This stands for:

Miquella the Unalloyed
Miquella has not been blended with tin, thus he is called "The Unalloyed." He has mind control powers and three and a half arms.

Melania, Blade of Miquella
Melania fights for Miquella and is thus called his blade. She is also the goddess of rot, which means she has wings made of butterflies.

Margot, Star of Barbeeh
Margot is the king of Leyndell, the capital city of a land with no remaining living beings. Thus it is very hard for him to collect taxes.

Mileena, Really Mean Lady
Mileena is a bit of a bully. She is known to break the thumbs of those who attempt to enter her needlessly complex fatality codes.

Marlene, the Blue Angel
Seductive and smart, Marlene is like a siren whose singing abilities can seduce even the most stalwart professors and leave them alone.

Margerie, Annihilator of Universes
This goddess has suffered for decades from the maniacal and demented family she married into, hence her infinite HP pool.

Macaroni, the Pasta Reborn
A horrifying monster of carbs and cheese, this unthinkable being can inflict thousands of calories per serving and cause atherosclerosis.

#elden ring#bloodborne#the simpsons#marlene dietrich#mortal kombat#unreality#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree spoilers
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
fic: blue and gold (26/28)
today's @bucktommyfluffebruary prompt is picnic date. (preparing the picnic may or may not count but we are where we are). my fill is here and below
this is essentially part one of three in the final mini-arc and i'm gonna cry. i can't believe it's (almost) over!!
Buck starts with the sandwiches. Tommy's go-to sad sandwich is pre-sliced chicken, cheese, and onion, but Buck's pretty sure he can do better than that. He slow roasts a whole chicken with herbs and butter, slices the white meat into thick wedges, shreds the brown meat for a bastardized biryani salad that Tommy always goes wild for. He caramelized the red onions the night before and spent a frankly unhinged amount of time in the dairy aisle picking out just the right sharp cheddar. For the bread, he goes for a crusty white loaf that he perfected way back when. He doesn't bake so much anymore, but it did end up being a way to wind down after a busy shift, so he's not too rusty, and the bread turns out great. It feels like a good sign.
While the bread cools, he whips up some flatbreads for lamb gyros. He cuts a few corners, doesn't make the tzatziki himself, but he's on the clock, and he doesn't think Tommy will notice. He picked up some gorgeous looking tomatoes, some of which get sliced for the gyros, and some diced for the biryani salad. While he's blending the hummus he wonders if maybe he's going overboard, but shrugs it off. He wants this to be the single best picnic anyone's ever had. He wants to include everything Tommy might want.
The red velvet cupcakes were an easy choice. They're Tommy's favorite by far which Buck doesn't get at all, if he's being honest. But Tommy insists they're better than regular chocolate no matter how many times Buck tells him about the use of cochineal in red food coloring. So, Buck makes red velvet cupcakes. He takes more care than usual in applying the frosting, aiming for generous but neat.
The sandwiches, gyros and cookies get saran wrapped, the salads and dips and cupcakes get boxed up in tupperware of varying sizes, and stacked neatly into the cooler bag. He'd debated over the aesthetic merits of an actual picnic basket but wound up favoring cold beers instead.
The last thing he does is dig through the linen closet to find the blanket Tommy's mom had sent them home with from Taos. It's soft and comfortable and colorful and Buck thinks that, if all goes well, Maya will get a kick of knowing it was there with them.
He's a little surprised by how little anxiety he's feeling. Excitement, sure. But once the bread rose and the cream cheese frosting didn't split, all the anxiety drifted away. He pats his hip pocket almost unconsciously and gets back into the Jeep.
He pulls into the parking lot at Harbor ten minutes before Tommy's shift is due to end, twenty before he actually steps outside. The sun's low in the sky and Tommy looks golden. He pauses at the sight of the Jeep, smiles and redirects to cross the lot.
"Hey, handsome," Buck says, leaning his elbow on the open window. "You busy tonight?"
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
FIRST PLACE
Summary: You and your fellow cast mates play Spill Your Guts or Fill Your guts with James Corden.
Warnings: kissing, gross food and yea



"Hello, everyone!" James Corden announces to the crowd. "Here we have a wheel of all of the food you may or may not eat." You, Jenna, and Mason look at the wheel as James continues, "We've got cow blood & pork tongue jelly. Our lovely favorited, the bull penis."
The crowd laughs. Jenna quickly looks away, her face turning pale. Mason shakes his head as his eyes widen with shock while you laugh. James notices their reactions and grins, "We also have bird saliva, bug trifle, jellyfish, a giant water scorpion, and many other items."
You, Jenna, and Mason look at the foods placed in front of you with disgust. James smiles proudly, marveling at the wheel of food. He giggles, looking around at the three of you before announcing, "Welcome to the world of exotic cuisine!" Jenna let out a groan, Mason playfully rolled his eyes, and you just shook your head. You all had no idea what you were in for.
"Is that whipped cream?" You ask your host, pointing at the 'bug trifle'. James grinned. "No, that's not whipped cream. It's a special blend of cream cheese and grasshopper larvae." Your mouth drops open. You stare at the trifle in horror. "Uhh... I think I'm going to pass on that one."
"Just because you said that, I'll make sure to pass it on your turn." You smile gratefully as Mason shakes his head in disagreement, "That's totally unfair!" Mason looks at you and says, "I hope he replaces your bug trifle with the cow and pork jelly." You laugh and shake your head. " I think I'd rather take my chances with the bug trifle!" You and Mason laugh and Jenna joins in, finding the sound contagious.
"Y/N!" The crowd roars at the mention of your name, and you grimace. "This question is for you." James looks at you, holding the card in his hand. "But before we get into that, we'll have to choose your dish."
James looks at you, holding the card in his hand. "But before we get into that, we'll have to choose your dish." You take a deep breath and give a nod. You can feel the anticipation of the crowd, "I choose... bird saliva!" James picks, a playful grin on his face.
"That's not too bad," says Jenna, who is sitting next to you. "Let's see." James fully lifts the card. "Y/N! Who is the worst celebrity you've ever had to interact with?" Jenna Mason, and James turn to you expectantly.
You smile, "Umm... Wow! I'm really on the spot here." You could think of millions of names, but did you really wanna go through with the gossip? You look at the bird saliva that's now been spun in front of you, and then back at James.
Mason speaks up with a smile on his face, "Just say her." He jokes, pointing at the brunette beside you. Jenna's mouth widens in shock. You just laugh, and everyone joined in. "You got me, Mason. It's Jenna." You joke, turning to her and giving her a smile. After thinking about it, you can't do it. You lift the glass and indeed take a sip of the bird salvia.
Jenna grins and shakes her head, amused. Mason's face lights up as he cheers. James laughs as you swallow the liquid, gulping down the water right after. "I just wanna know why you drank that instead of saying a name!" Shaking your head you place down your glass. "Never again."
Mason laughs, "That was a brave thing to do." Jenna nods in agreement, "That was really courageous of you." James pats you on the back, "Well done, mate!" You smile, lifting up your hands in triumph. " You look around with a smug look on your face and say, "Oh, it was nothing. Just another day saving the world."
Everyone laughs and applauds your bravery. You playfully take a bow and bask in the glory of the moment. Jenna now picks up a card, holding it to her chest. "Mason, Mason, Mason." She repeats as her eyes scan over the food choices. Mason hums in acknowledgement, watching his co-star scan the items. Jenna smiles as she finds what she is looking for, "I chose the giant water scorpion for you."
"I can't believe this. I can't believe you!" Mason holds his hand over his heart, "I thought we were co-stars!"
Mason laughs, his mouth widening into a smile. Jenna's eyes twinkle mischievously begins reading the card. Mason listens, shaking his head in disbelief. "Who was the most annoying person on set?"
Mason looks around the room, his eyes meeting each of the crew’s. He points a finger and says, “Time to dig in!” Everyone laughs but it soon turns into shock as Mason quickly stuffs the scorpion in his mouth.
"It was probably Y/N," James jokes and you shake your head laughing. Mason swallows the scorpion in one gulp. Everyone stares in amazement and disbelief. Mason then says, "That was the most annoying person on set!" You can't help but laugh at Mason's comment. He looks around, a satisfied grin on his face. Mason then stands up and takes a bow, as everyone else applauds. He sits back down, picking up a card.
"Jenna, I want you to eat the bug trifle." Jenna thins out her lips and James laughs, "Any who! You've recently signed a deal with Adidas." Jenna nods in agreement and the crowd cheers, you lift your hands clapping along with them. James smiles, "You should be proud, it's a great accomplishment. You should celebrate with a bug trifle!" Jenna thins out her lips and James laughs.
Mason tilts his head with a nod at James' joke before raising the card again. "How much did they sign you for?"
Jenna doesn't spare Mason a second glance, the spoon already in her hand. Mason raises his eyebrows and James speaks up, "Really? Not even an estimate?" Jenna slowly shakes her head, scooping a spoonful of the trifle. "Don't forget the little roach too." You say, pointing at the roach onto of the trifle. Jenna shoots a glare your way, then turns back to her trifle. She takes a bite, her expression unchanged. Mason lets out a sigh and James just shakes his head.
Though she tries to stay strong but picks up her bucket, spitting it all out. "She thought she was a champ!" You laugh, looking at the crowd. They all begin laughing and Jenna searches around for her water, "Where's my water?" She asks. You hand her your own and she takes a sip.
She smiles at you and thanks you for your kindness. She then turns to the other people in the crowd and gives them a thumbs up. "I'm good!" she says. The crowd cheers as she straightens her back, and now it is your turn to grab a card. "Mr. Corden." He hums, smiling. "I want you to devour..." He raises an eyebrow at your choice of words earning a giggle for Jenna. "The jellyfish!"
You both laugh at the absurdity of it. "Or! 'I get to see what your last three texts with Justin Bieber were about." James pulls out his phone, nervously looking down, finding 3 texts worth showing. He slowly hands his phone to you. "Justin says, hey man how are you? It's been a while." You smile, glancing at the crowd. "James says, pretty well. I have a few things planned for the show. How is everyone on your side?"
James nods, remembering when he typed this, but he doesn't remember Justin's response. "Justin replies, thumbs up emoji." James grins, pleased, as he takes back his phone. "Nice lil convo there," Mason says and you nod in agreement. James pockets his phone and turns back to Mason. "Thanks, it was nice catching up with an old friend."
Jenna picks up a card, smirking at you. You inhale a breath, "Throw it at me Ortega." Playfully she lifts the card in her hand throwing the card at you and you catch it with one hand. "Hey, show off," Mason laughs and you smile, feeling a bit of pride. "You know it," you reply.
She jokingly snatches the card back, using it to point at the cow blood & pork tongue jelly." Jenna grins, "Wanna try it? I heard it's really good." You make a face, "No thanks, I'm good. I'm sure Mason's game for it though." Mason laughs, lifting his hands in surrender. "I'll pass too," he says. Jenna shakes her head reads the card, "Y/N."
You smile at the girl sending her a peace sign, "Rank these kiss scenes from worst to best." You drop your face into your hands, the crowd gets louder by the second.
The girl looks at you stunned and you can feel your cheeks getting redder by the second. You really didn't wanna eat the dish in front of you. "Mikey Madison in Scream V, Alexa Demie from Euphoria, or me... in our new movie." She laughs, and you take a deep breath, "Umm!"
Mason's eyes widen. He then thinks of an idea, "Wait! Hold that response." He holds up a finger, taking his phone out of his pocket. He starts to type something. You can see the excitement in his eyes.
He looks up at you with a smile and says, "We can't leave her out!" He was going to call Mikey! She was a sweetheart and you really did enjoy your kiss scene with her. She was a talented actor and kisser! Mason quickly Face-Timed Mikey, who answered on the fifth ring. "Hello?" She says, her soft voice playing through the speakers.
You throw your head back groaning as Jenna and James wave at the camera. "We're on The Late Show right now and Y/N's about to rank her best kisses from worst to best!" James cheers as the audience erupts in laughter. You try to keep a straight face, but can't help but laugh at the ridiculous situation.
You take a deep breath and start to rank your best kisses from worst to best. "Um... Alexa because my character was a rebound. Ummm..." you glance at Jenna who looks back at you amused, and then at Mikey who smiles softly.
"Jenna because! Spoiler alert, you kiss Chad right after and then Mikey! There! Boom!" You stand up from your chair and the crowd screams. Mikey laughs and Jenna rolls her eyes in good humor.
Mason says his goodbyes to Mikey as James closes out his show, "There you have it everyone! Y/N's best kisses from worst to best! Make sure to check out Scream VI in theaters now! Have a great night!" The crowd erupts in applause, and Jenna and Mason stand up waving at the crowd, you do the same blowing kisses as well.
You take a bow with the cast and head backstage. Jenna and Mason thank you for joining them onstage, and you all hug one another. You make your way offstage, filled with a sense of accomplishment. As you walk back to your dressing room, you can hear the cheers of the audience still echoing in your ears.
You smile to yourself and bask in the glory of the moment. You can't believe how far you've come and how much you've achieved. You know that this is just the beginning of a long journey.
Half and hour pasts and you're sitting down in your dressing room, scrolling on your phone. Your fans didn't know you had a TikTok as you scrolling through the app on an alt account, sometimes interacting with them. You hear a knock on the door and you quickly put your phone away. Jenna appears from behind the door, a smile on her face.
"Oh! There's second place," you joke, standing up. Jenna laughs and says, "Our kiss scene deserves first place." What does it matter if I kiss Chad after? You're literally a homie hopper." You raise an eyebrow, "You cannot call my character a homie hopper as you admit to kissing their best friend in the same sentence."
Laughing, Jenna rolls her eyes, stepping closer to you. "I deserve first place." You smirk, "That's not how it works. It's all about believability and you can't portray a character like that and expect to win." Jenna sighs, "Fine. I'll concede, only..." She steps even closer, now having to look up at you. You feel your heart beat increasing, the air between you thickening.
Jenna looks at you with a mischievous glint in her eyes, her lips twitching into a small smile. "If you let me get a rematch." She finishes. She holds your gaze, awaiting your response. You feel a smile tugging at your lips, and you can't help but agree. "Alright, you've got yourself a rematch."
She steps back and you furrow your eyebrows. I thought she was going to kiss me? You think to yourself.
"Y/C/N," Oh. She actually wants to redo your scene. You step closer and she smiles but quickly removes it, getting back in character. You hum, tilting your head at the shorter girl. "I wouldn't- I wouldn't be hurt if you left." You furrow your eyebrows as she looks away, her eyes resting on the ground.
You sigh, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why would I ever leave you Tara?" you ask softly. You can feel the tension between you, but you know that it's only for the scene. Or is it?
She shrugs, her gaze returning to yours. "Because my life's messy. First you get tased by my sister and then you get chased around a bodega by Ghostface." You try to make a joke, but she doesn't laugh. Instead, she turns away, her shoulders heavy. "It's like I'm cursed," she says quietly.
You reach out and gently touch her arm. "You're not cursed," you tell her. "You just have a lot of bad luck. We can get through this together." She looks up at you and finally smiles, her expression softening. Your hand moves to her cheek, caressing it softly.
She leans into your touch and takes a deep breath. For the first time in a long time, she feels a sense of peace. The gaze moves from your eyes to your lips. You both lean toward each other slowly. You both close your eyes and your lips meet.
You feel the warmth of her lips and the warmth of her body. In that moment, all your worries and stress seem to melt away. You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her closer. You can feel her heart beating in time with yours, and you know in that moment that everything will be alright. You stay in that embrace, feeling the warmth and peace of that moment, until reality slowly starts to come back.
And scene. Well Chad was supposed to walk in after, but... hey!
You begin to pull away put Jenna pulls you back into another kiss, with more intensity. You kiss her back with the same intensity, her tongue finding it's way into your mouth. She eagerly explored every inch of your mouth, her soft lips pressing hungrily against yours.
You responded eagerly, your hands exploring her body as your tongues entwined. You felt her hands roaming around your own body, a sensual exploration that left you trembling with desire. You each felt a warmth that spread throughout your bodies, the intensity of the moment pushing you further and further. You both pulled away, breathless and smiling.
Suddenly the door opens. "Hey, guys!" You and Jenna jump after at Mason's voice. He looks between the two of you, confused. Mason takes in the scene, then grins and shakes his head. "Uh, nevermind, I'll come back later." He backs out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Huh, he did end up walking in after.
"Jenna Ortega, you've now been awarded with first place." Jenna jumped with joy and screamed. You shake your head at her acting, she then jumps into your arms, placing her hands on both sides of your face - pulling you into another award winning kiss.
#reader insert#jenna ortega#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x reader#wattpad#jenna ortega x y/n#jenna x reader#jenna ortega x gn!reader#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x g!p reader#jenna ortega x male reader#jenna ortega imagine
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Those Eyes
Carlos Sainz Jr X female!driver!reader
WC : 1.9k ?.

🌶️🍒*✧I close my eyes and all I see is you*✧🍒🌶️
This is war! :
A disaster, that what the challenge the team put up for them turned out to be , and what started as a simple taste testing ended up in a food fight, or war for better use of words.
The fire were a combination of Mellon juice that escalated to sour cream frosting and weirdly textured yellowish green juice that turned out to be blended beas, spinach,and a generous amount of egg yolk , the smell was something to remember, the media crew knew that for sure , as they were drenched in it when one of the two 'accidentally' quote and quote, splashed it backwards instead of the other way .
It was a misunderstanding, the blindfolds were a terrible idea and the directions they were given were misleading and resulted in both accidentally spilling cups on eachother, and it went from there to the point where Horner walked in to see what the screaming was about only to receive a fist full of mashed creamy potatoes to the face which then slides to his shirt and finally plopped to the ground in a loud splat .
Carlos with his hair coated in whipped cream pointed at our driver who was already pointing at him with her face covered in a cocktail of white cheese and chocolate sprinkles , shouting " he/she started it " to a stoic faced Horner.
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
Voldemort? :
Carlos looked to his right where our driver sat on the long couch bored out of her mind while they went through the by now repeating questions asked for the god know how many times, so he leaned and asked her something, to which she shrugged before answering back , then counting three things to which he agreed with a scrunched up face , adding with pointed look to which she nod , both were caught off guard when the host directed his question to them " Carlos, Y/N , any thoughts on....you know who? " Their face twisted into confusion as they blurted out at the same time " Voldemort? " , to which they were given confused and startled looks, with Lando cackling from the other side .
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
Running up that hill :
Carlos face was zoomed in as he was about to keel over with exhaustion if not for his hand supporting his weight on his knees , breathing hard with aching muscles, drenched in sweat from head to toe with couple of strands stuck to Face.
Standing beside him was our driver , fresh as a daisy doing jumping jacks as if she didn't just ran a full lap around the circuit " come on! , let's gooooo ! " , and Carlos's glare could never be more bitter, cursing under his breath at the enthusiastic energy radiating off of her , clashing with his black hole of despair while he tried to find a way to ditch and crawl back to his hotel room . She grabbed the sleeve of his shirt but he swatted her hand with a scowl, making her smack his arm with a loud " rude! " , he retaliated with a smack of his own on her arm earning another one on his shoulder before she stepped back and gave him a 'did you just...' his own look screamed ' what are you going to do about it ? ' , then both started to swat at eachother landing hits on wherever they could reach , then our driver decided to shove him hard , caught off guard herself as he stumbled back making her gasp as she stared, eyes as wide as his before she held her arms up in defence, trying to bargain as he got back to his feet , her pleading fell into deaf ears as he charged at her , and she didn't waste time to sprint away from the now miraculously energised Carlos.
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
The mandacity :
The Fans caught it many times, turning it into an inside joke of sort more so as a trait the two shared along the years . The mandacity meter of (CarlosXourdriver) ship name. The resent sighting was during the media day of the Dutch GP where Ferrari and Merc were having a shared open stage interview , and to say the hosts were overly biased against them would be an understatement , the two hosts kept throwing subtle comments here and there , which resulted in some of the fans boooing from the crowd making them tune it down for a bit, but alas the whole thing was a nuisance.
One of the two ran his mouth a bit two much , making Carlos lose his stoic face to a much so done look , turning to our driver to his left with questioning eyes , who herself had a milder version of 'wtf' face turned into a scowl , she locked eyes with him the second he looked her way , and he mouthed ' the audacity! ' to which she shook her face and corrected with the same scowl ' No , no , no , The Mandacity! ' making him snort loudly as he tried to hold back the laugh threatening to burst out .
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
" you can't handle it " :
Carlos never leaned when it came to challenging our driver and her immune taste buds that he and almost everyone questioned whenever she came up with an abomination of concussion that she called tasty.
He wasn't one to judge but how on earth could she eat those combinations, and fans didn't waste time to notice when he fell into another crisis after one of her experiments.
Such as the chilli experiment as some called it where it started with our driver making her usual pre-summer break snack from hell . Consisting of a bot of instant noodles cooked with a shit ton of chilli powder then when serving she added a bag of flaming Doritos on top , a mix of cream cheese and a big spoon of chocolate drizzled on top and one scoop of ice-cream and a splash of hot sauce to top it off .
He sat comfortably after grabbing himself a fork and took one big bite, ignoring her warning of " you can't handle it " . And how he wished he didn't, the taste blended well , salty and sweet accompanied the spicy taste added to the crunch of the Doritos and the smooth texture of ice-cream, but then the chilli kicked right as he swallowed , and you could see his face turning shades into an alarming bright red along with his ears , his eyes turned unfocused with a faraway teary look as he slumped on the chair in a heap .
Our driver looked at him as she scooped another big bite and asked " you ok ? " Waving her hand Infront of his face , but he was lost to the world , she shrugged and added another splash of sauce, proceeding to take another bite .
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
Prince Charming who!? I only know his highness , prince Carlos Sainz Jr :
Fans couldn't let go of the moments they collected of carlos's stary eyes as he 'admires' our driver (or what their shippers say) . And boy it was a sight to behold.
Eyes soft and dreamy when he looks at her , too lost to the world to care if someone would catch on , a small smile slowly creeping upon his lips with a small tilt of the head , you could almost hear him sigh longingly.
The most viral moment was caught when Carlos was sitting down on one of the foldable chairs, overly tired and fresh out of FP2 after a long day , a couple of other drivers waiting around along with our driver who scraping on a small note book , mumbling to herself as she wrote down for a couple of minutes before handing it over to one of the Merc engineers then turned around.
She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes before looking around, her eyes fell on Carlos, who was already looking at her, a smile making it's way on her face , mirroring his as she approached and held his face in one hand while the other went to run through his gorgeously dishelved hair " Hi " , he smiled up at her and gave a sweet " hi " back , she asked with a tilt of her head " what are you doing? " He grins and answered easily " admiring the view , and you? " , she couldn't help the laugh bubbling out as she answered back with a dazzling smiles of her own " admiring you " .
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
Chilli🌶️ and cherry 🍒 :
The carnival's Bright lights danced in the background, with Carlos holding on a giant bear with a giddy grin permanent on his face , his eyes squint as he let out a laugh at our driver who stood beside him with a scowl , in her hand she led two keychains, a chilli and a cherry, each bright in colour as she showed them and pointed to the delighted Carlos " I busted my ass and won him this !! " She pointed then held up her hand offendedly " and look what he got me !! " Carlos gave her a side eye and retorted " if you don't want them , give them back " then he snatched the chilli keychain and hooked it on the bow around the bear's neck .
With an accomplished humm he held out the bear and declared " meet thee Carlos Sainz Jr++ " . She stood with a dropped jaw at the declaration then snatched the said Jr++ and made a run for it , followed by a screaming Carlos " give me back my Carlos Jr++ !!!!" She called back as she dodged his attempts " heck no!!! I won him " he exclaimed " for me ! " She dismissed with a flipped bird over her shoulder " that was before I know how bad is your aim ! " He retorted back without thinking " that's not what she said " she gasped with a scandalised voice and shouted " chilli! " He called back with a smirk " cherry! " .
°°°°°°°°°°°🌶️ °°°°°°°°°°°
Those Eyes :
Carlos was seen looking around with a deep frown, his eyes scanning in concern when his search was fruitless , he ran a hand through his still dishelved hair anxiously before tying his suit's hanging arms around his waist as he ventured around to look somewhere else.
He backed his steps as he passed by the small figure of our driver, huddled away and out of sight and didn't waste time to approach with a relieved look replacing the stress . He crouched down and tried to get her to talk to him , asking what's going on, she took a couple of minutes to focus on his eyes pleading with her , blinking her eyes with a frown twisting her face then the dam broke, then her breath turned erect as a sob followed by another fell out before she could hold them back .
His eyes softened with understanding, and he was quick to scoot over , covering her from view and trying to console her as best as he could , letting her lean her head on his shoulder with her arms tight around him with his hand on the back of her head .
🌶️
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fic#wys#weathering your storm#f1 x female reader#f1 x driver!reader#f1 x female driver#driver!reader#carlos sainz x driver!reader#carlos sainz x reader
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
— Croissants, Cookies, & Coffee
Pro Hero! Bakugo x Cafe Worker! Black! Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Jagged edged pro hero Dynamight begins to show up to his local cafe just a little too much.
TW: Swearing
“Next in line, please,”
Customers and passerby’s gawked a the man you only smiled politely at. His tall, hulking figure towered over everyone, sticking out like a sore thumb, and his reputation did nothing to help the attention. He seemed tense about it all, the prolonged stares irritating him to no end. But seeing you unfazed, warm lights glowing on your brownskin, gave him some sort of grounding.
“Good afternoon Mr. Dynamight. Should I ring up your usual, or would you like to try one of our new items?” The words fell off your glossed lips so casually, as if you weren’t speaking to the most powerful man in Japan.
“Don’t call me that,” he snarled. “It’s policy,” you said in unison with him, his eyes rolling in annoyance as he kissed his teeth.
“I don’t give a shit about policy, you know what to call me,” he told you, before humming in thought. “I’ll try that fuckin’ peach shit, but only if you make it for me.”
“One pretty peach refresher,” you said, smiling whilst typing the order into the screen in front of you. “What size?”
“Large, and that’ll be all,” he said, reaching into his pockets for his wallet as he mumbled to himself. “Fuckin’ pretty peach refresher, who the fuck comes up with these names?”
You stifled a laugh, lips curling inward. He swiped his card on the reader before you could even tell him the price, huffing as he put his wallet away.
“Thank you, I’ll bring your order over as soon as it’s done,” you chimed.
Swapping places with one of your coworkers, you took on drinks for the moment. To anyone who didn’t know better, you were only doing this because if someone like the explosive pro hero Dynamight says, you do. And in a way, they weren’t wrong.
But your drinks are the only ones he’ll take. Hell, that’s the only time he takes anything, even the pre made baked goods, anything else gets sent back. Your coworkers were convinced your quirk had some magical touch aspect to it. How the hell could he tell if a cappuccino was made by you or not?
A scoop of ice, a cup of dehydrated peach, a cup of peach juice, some water, and a blend later, his order was ready. As you approached, his attention was turned towards the window, simply watching as people and cars passed.
“Katsuki,” you uttered, handing the drink over. “Enjoy your pretty peach refresher.”
Your emphasis on the three words made him roll his eyes again, but you didn’t miss the smile he covered with his cup as he took a sip.
For months, that’s how your interactions went. If you ever asked Katsuki why he progressed passed this in the manner he did, he’d be far to ashamed to say.
Sure, he made nearly daily visits, sometimes coming twice a day. Once in the morning, and then again on the way back home. But his visits soon became erratic, as if he was going for reasons he didn’t want anyone to know.
“Good morning, Katsuki,” you hummed, placing his plate in front of him. “One eggs, ham, and cheese croissant sandwich for you.”
You walked away too fast to see it, only focused on getting through the morning rush of people. Had you stayed a second longer, you’d have caught him watching the morning sun illuminate your features.
That was his first visit of the day. You knew he’d be back soon, as he’d been coming more frequently, just not as soon as he did.
“Since when did you guys have cookies?” The blond asked, nodding over to the display of baked goods.
“Always,” you told him. “I can ring them up for you if you wanna try?”
“Only if you bring them to me,” he smirked.
The aroma of warm chocolate chip cookies had you salivating as you walked them over to his usual window booth. You needed to remind yourself to steal some before clocking out.
“Here are your cookies. And this is your second time back in,” you checked the clock. “Six hours? You beat your record from last time.”
“Yeah?” Katsuki asked, fake surprised at his own timing as he bit into a cookie, humming in satisfaction.
“Yeah,” you smirked, running your hand over pulled back coils to make sure your hair was still neatly in its bun. “Were you hungry or did you just miss me?”
You were standing just feet away from him, and even now he missed you.
“Fucking starving,” he teased, making you kiss your teeth. “You just happen to make all the shit I like.”
You raised your eyebrow in amusement, bearing your teeth in a glossy lipped smile.
“Oh? Like the cookies I only put onto a plate for you?” You asked, pointing to the now empty plate.
“It’s just different when you put it on a plate,” he shrugged.
“Right, right,” you nodded. “Gotta get back to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Katsuki came back just two hours later.
“Y’know, I was joking before, but this is getting concerning,” you huffed, placing the mug of coffee onto the table. “This is your third time back, and you were here just two hours ago. And who orders coffee at noon?”
Unbotheredly, he takes a sip from his coffee and says nothing.
“I know you hear me,” you huffed.
You folded your arms over your chest, annoyed that he wouldn’t give you a straight answer. Something was obviously bothersome him, and he was itching to get it off his chest.
“Don’t get me mad on shift Katsuki,” you said sternly. “What’s actually going on.”
“Honestly? I just missed you,” he shrugged.
You were just ready to go off on him, but he sounded so genuine that you held your tongue. This was far from your usual dynamic, and the sudden shift had you at a loss for words
“You free after work?”
—
Taglist: @megurulvr @ivanari @planetlunaa @romiantic @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @cosmiles @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii @lillizxzz @starsoir
Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.
—
Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Follow for more!
#mha#bnha#mha x black reader#mha x black!reader#bnha x black!reader#bnha x black reader#bakugo x black reader#bakugo x black!reader#mha oneshot#bnha oneshot#bakugo oneshot#katsuki bakugo oneshot#mha fluff#bnha fluff#bakugo fluff#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo fluff#mha bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo x reader#mha bakugo#bnha bakugo#mha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey sweetie, could you do more Kelly and max with reader please, reckon their underrated
FLUFF!!! Enjoy reading and let me now if you have some requests. I will take a short break from writing to focuse on my lasts exams. But afterwards, I'll write all of your requests.
-XoXo
No Part 2!!!
Sunset Serenade



Max Kelly and Amira had always been inseparable. Their love story was etched in the sands of time, and the beach was their sanctuary—a place where laughter danced with the waves and secrets whispered through the salty breeze.
The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over the Amira Luxury Resort’s private beach. Max, with his sun-kissed hair and easy smile, spread a blanket on the sand. Kelly, her eyes the color of the Aegean Sea, unpacked a picnic basket filled with fresh fruit, cheese, and a bottle of chilled wine.
Amira, radiant in her sundress, twirled toward them. Her laughter echoed as she skipped across the sand, her feet leaving delicate imprints. Max and Kelly watched, hearts swelling, as she spun like a dervish, her joy contagious.
“Look at her,” Max whispered to Kelly. “She’s our sun, our moon, our everything.”
Kelly nodded, her fingers brushing against Max’s. “We’re lucky, you know. To have found each other and to share this paradise with Amira.”
As the sun dipped lower, they settled on the blanket, toes buried in the sand. Amira strummed a guitar, the notes blending with the rhythmic lapping of the waves. Kelly leaned against Max, her head on his shoulder, while Amira sat cross-legged, her eyes wandering towards the horizont.
“Sing for us, Schatje,” Max pleaded, his voice like a seashell pressed to her ear.
And so, Amira sang—an old spansih ballad of love and longing. Her voice carried across the beach, weaving through the palm trees and reaching the distant cliffs. Kelly hummed along, her eyes never leaving Amira’s face.
The sky transformed—a canvas of pastel hues. Pink melted into orange, and the sea mirrored the colors, as if the universe conspired to paint their love story. Amira’s fingers danced on the guitar strings, and Kelly’s heart swelled. She knew this moment was fleeting, yet it held eternity within its grasp.
After a while, Amira leaned against Kelly, her head resting on her chest. “Tell me a story,” she whispered.
Kelly glanced at Max, who nodded. “Once upon a time,” Kelly began, “there were three souls entwined by fate. Amira, the poet, sang of love. Max, the racer, painted sunsets. And I, the dreamer, wove their stories into constellations.”
Amira’s eyes sparkled. “What happened next?”
Max leaned in, his lips brushing Kelly’s temple. “They danced under the moon, their laughter echoing across the waves. And when the stars blinked awake, they made promises—of forever, of love that transcended time.”
Amira sighed, her fingers tracing patterns in the sand. “I want that,” she said softly.
“You have it,” Kelly whispered. “In every sunrise, every shared smile, every stolen kiss.”
As darkness settled, they huddled closer, wrapped in the cocoon of their love. Max hummed a lullaby, and Amira’s eyes fluttered shut. Kelly pressed her lips to Max’s, tasting salt and sweetness.
“Forever,” Max murmured against her mouth.
“Forever,” Kelly echoed.
And so, they sat—a trio of hearts, bound by love, watching the stars emerge one by one. The waves whispered secrets, and the moon painted silver trails on the water. Amira slept, her dreams filled with sunflowers and seashells.
As the night deepened, Max and Kelly held hands, their love a constellation in the vastness of the universe. They knew that tomorrow would bring new tides, but tonight—the beach, the music, and the magic—belonged to them.
And so, they stayed, under the star-studded sky, doting on Amira, their love story etched in the sands of time.
#formula 1#baby!sainz!sister#formula 1 x reader#max verstappen x kelly piquet x reader#max verstappen x reader#kelly piquet x reader#amira sainz
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
Smiling Critters incorrect quotes
Dogday: What is the code etomologists use for "I stepped on it, I'm so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions."
Catnap: "Impromptu dissection" is an alarming phrase in any context and I thank you for it.
KickinChickin: What’s biologist for "the little f⭐️cker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "The specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses."
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hoppy Hopscotch: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
KickinChickin: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
Hoppy Hopscotch: Nothing in life is free.
Bobby Bearhug: Love is free.
Bubba Bubbaphant: Knowledge is free.
Craftycorn: Friendship is free.
Dogday: Self-respect is free.
KickinChickin: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.
The Squad: ...
PickyPiggy: Kickin, that's illegal-
Hoppy Hopscotch: No, let him finish!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Bubba Bubbaphant: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Are you calling me short?
Bubba Bubbaphant: I'm calling you vertically challenged.
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
KickinChickin: You have Crayons?
Craftycorn: Yes, I have—
KickinChickin: You're— how old are you?
Craftycorn (in tears): YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨🎨
PickyPiggy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?
Catnap: I accidentally fell down.
Bubba Bubbaphant: CATNAP PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent!
Dogday: Catnap bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.
KickinChickin: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Dogday.
💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡
Dogday: I love you.
Catnap: How many people have you said that to?
Dogday: Everyone.
Catnap: What?
Dogday: I told everyone that I love you.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
Craftycorn: Why does Picky always do the laundry so loudly?
Bobby Bearhug: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house.
PickyPiggy, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎
PickyPiggy: So Hunny-bunny, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
PickyPiggy: Oo! Okay, what are we having?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
PickyPiggy: A whole potato?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
PickyPiggy: These just look like big slabs of black.
Hoppy Hopscotch: Because that's what they are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for desert, we have chocolate.
PickyPiggy: These are just chocolate chips?
Hoppy Hopscotch: They sure are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for drinks, we have toast!
Hoppy Hopscotch: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!
🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻
KickinChickin: I have a plan.
PickyPiggy: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.
KickinChickin: …
PickyPiggy: …
KickinChickin: I no longer have a plan.
🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
PickyPiggy: why can’t any of y’all ever come up with a plan that doesn’t involve breaking the law?
Bubba Bubbaphant (awkwardly looking over at KickinChickin and Hoppy Hopscotch): Picky…You do realize that three of us have been to prison before, right?
🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤🐤
KickinChickin: Have I ever told you that I love you like the mom I never had?
PickyPiggy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
KickinChickin: Mean.
🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰
Hoppy Hopscotch: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
PickyPiggy:
Hoppy Hopscotch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
PickyPiggy: Hmf! 'Sorry' ain’t never gonna bring back my f🍎cking M&Ms.
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
Bubba Bubbaphant: What do we think of Dogday?
*pause*
Hoppy Hopscotch: *shrugs* Nice pal.
Bobby Bearhug: I think he’s gay.
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
KickinChickin: That was so hot, Bubba.
Bubba Bubbaphant: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
KickinChickin: I'm so in love with you.
🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱
KickinChickin: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...
Catnap: Only as their rodeo clown.
🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
#smiling critters#incorrect quotes#some of these are from tumblr#some of these are from a generator#some of these I made up or edited#pickypiggy x hoppy hopscotch#PickyPiggy#dogday x catnap#Dogday#hoppy hopscotch#craftycorn x bobby bearhug#craftycorn#catnap x dogday#catnap#bobby bearhug x crafty corn#bobby bearhug#bubba bubbaphant x kickinchickin#bubba bubbaphant#kickinchickin#gay#lesbian#silly#lgbtq+
342 notes
·
View notes
Text
The hidden veggie Mac n cheese did indeed work for the picky child (me)
Me: *looks up recipes for meals with hidden veggies*
The video: this recipe is PERFECT for your Picky Child!!
Me: Ah, yes, my picky child…
#trist.txt#it actually fucks#so good#I should’ve blended the veggies a bit more but it’s great#it’s blended butternut squash carrots and cauliflower#pour into a roux (butter. flour. milk.)#and then I KID YOU NOT it’s 14 oz of shredded cheese which is like two blocks#its also three cups of the cooked veggies#and its over four servings#so it’s like 3.75 oz of cheese and a lil less than a cup of veggies per portion#and it’s delicious#I ate that shit up!!!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling you 3
Pairing: Sihtric x reader (female)
Authors note: this is the last part and as I already wrote it got unexpectedly long, but I'm posting it as it is just as you voted. I really got so caugh up in this story 😅 I hope you'll enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it
Warnings: angst, fluff, SMUT 18+
Word Count: 7,5 K
Part 1, Part 2
Tags: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @hb8301 @zillahvathek @alexagirlie @gemini-mama @verenahx @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @willowbrookesblog @thenameswinter99 @ellabellabus07 @mcbuckyyyy @kirtseinw
If you want to be added to the tag list - write to me.

You woke up with a throbbing headache, having struggled to find sleep until the early hours. The walls of the old house seemed as thin as parchment. Every sound penetrated your room – the laughter, the chatter, the clinking of mugs, and the crackling of the fireplace, all blending into a cacophony that grated your weary senses.
But it was the faint noises from the floor above that truly disrupted your rest, igniting your imagination. You briefly wondered if Eanflaed had deliberately placed your bed right beneath the room where Sihtric and Ealfwin spent the night. The thought was quickly dismissed, but couldn't you hear his voice through the thin ceiling? The blurred sounds of the muffled moans and passionate groans seemed to reach you even as you tried to block them out, covering your ears with your hands and burying your head under the pillow. It was almost dawn when your exhausted mind finally succumbed to a restless sleep, only to be woken soon after by the bustling sounds of morning chores.
"You've certainly looked better," Eanflaed remarked as she noticed you stepping into the main room, wincing when the bright daylight hit your red and swollen eyes.
"By the saints, I'd almost forgotten how thin these walls are," you grumbled, sinking into a seat and propping your aching head up with your hands. "I've ruined everything, have I not?" You added after a pause.
"Hold on, don't lose hope so quickly. Regarding Sigefried - you haven't acted in a manner unbecoming of a modest maiden. It was he who overstepped. If you wish, I can speak with him. But the real question is, do you truly want that?" Eanflaed said, a chuckle in her voice as she placed a plate of bread and cheese before you.
Her offer didn't surprise you. This was typical of Eanflaed, always resilient. Despite the hardships life had thrown at her, including losing her husband and being left to raise three young children while running an alehouse, she never faltered. Her approach was always pragmatic and thoughtful. She had a unique ability to balance her steadfast resilience with a protective nature towards her friends and the girls at the alehouse. They were like family to her, each deserving of her unwavering support.
But as much as you wished Eanflaed could solve this problem for you, you realised it was something you needed to address yourself.
"You are right, but I need to handle this myself. I have to speak with him," you said, nibbling on a piece of bread, lost in thought.
"Are you certain this is what you want?" Eanflaed's question caught you off guard, and you looked up to meet her probing eyes.
"Of course, I want it," you asserted, a hint of frustration in your tone. "I turned away a good man for... for a fleeting dream, for... nothing."
"Listen," Eanflaed said, sitting beside you and taking your hands in hers. "Who are you trying to convince? I've known you long enough. This isn't you. I know you're hurting now, but think carefully. If you accept Sigefried's proposal, it's a lifelong commitment. Don't make this choice out of hurt. You won't be able to bear it; your heart isn't made for such compromise, and I say that as a compliment.”
You gazed at Eanflaed in astonishment, trying to comprehend her words. The usually rational and sensible Eanflaed, who had often chided you for impulsively following your heart, was now advising you to reconsider what seemed like the most reasonable decision you had ever made.
It had been foolish to reject Sigefried. You had allowed yourself to be swept away by fleeting emotions and silly dreams, ignoring the stability and future that Sigefried offered. The thought of what you had almost thrown away for someone who didn’t even acknowledge your existence left a bitter taste in your mouth. It was time to face reality, and though the prospect of apologising to Sigefried was daunting, it was an unavoidable step unless you wanted to spend your life scrubbing mugs in the alehouse. If your fate was to be a whore in the disguise of a wife, you were ready to embrace it. At least you’ll be a modest and well-fed one.
With a gentle but firm motion, you freed your hands from Eanflaed’s hold and stood up from the table. “There's nothing left to think about. I had the whole night for that. I’ve made my decision.”
—--------------------------------------------------
"Look what I've got," Ealfwin announced, descending the stairs with a satisfied smile on her lips and dropping two golden rings onto the counter. Her smile widened as she watched them roll and clink across the wooden surface. Eanflaed's eyes widened in surprise.
"It was the strangest night of my life," Ealfwin laughed.
"What happened? It was that young Dane who took you upstairs, wasn't it? What did he want?" Eanflaed asked, her brow furrowed with concern.
"Oh, don't worry, it wasn't anything bad. He was so passionate, kissing me like a desperate starving man, right here at the table. But when we got upstairs and I started to undress, he suddenly told me he wasn't in the mood," Ealfwin explained, shrugging. "I was about to leave, but then he took off two of his rings and asked me to have a drink with him and stay the night. He said he didn't want to be alone."
"And then what happened?" Eanflaed probed, her curiosity evident.
"We just drank and talked. About life, the alehouse, all sorts of things. Then he asked for another pitcher of ale and told me to go to bed. I couldn't turn down such a generous offer. Just look at these rings – they're solid gold, and look at how thick they are."
"Yes, the rings are impressive. But what was he doing all this time?" Eanflaed inquired further.
"He just sat there, drinking. And this might sound odd," Ealfwin paused, licking her lips nervously before continuing, "but if I didn't know he was a Dane and one of Uhtred's fiercest warriors, I'd think he was crying."
"Crying?" Eanflaed's tone was filled with disbelief.
"Yes, crying. It was late already when I woke up to some odd noises, and there he was, still at the table, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as if he were sobbing," Ealfwin's voice dropped to a hushed tone, and she glanced around cautiously, as though worried about being overheard. "It must have been something else, perhaps I was still half-asleep. He's a Dane, after all, and just yesterday I heard Uhtred praising his prowess in battle. Such men don't cry, do they?"
"No, they usually don't," Eanflaed agreed, though her response came with a hint of hesitation as she slowly shook her head, seemingly lost in thought.
"Yeah, and by the time I woke up this morning, he was already gone," Ealfwin concluded, her gaze still fixed on the two gleaming gold rings resting on the counter. "I really need a new dress; this one's seen better days."
Eanflaed picked up the rings and slipped them into a small pouch at her waist. "I'll get these exchanged for money. Last night was really a good one. We should now have enough to restock for the winter, and I'm sure we can manage a few new dresses as well."
—-----------------------------------------------
"It's a bit early, isn't it?" Eanflaed chuckled, glancing towards the door as it creaked open. It was still morning, edging towards noon, and she had only just finished cleaning the main room.
"I'm here to talk to Y/N, to offer congratulations on the engagement," slurred the young man leaning heavily against the door frame. Clearly drunk, he staggered towards Eanflaed and grabbed hold of the counter for support.
"What in the world?" Eanflaed blurted out, her stern gaze and furrowed brows fixed on the intruder. Her sharp retort was cut short as she recognized the young Dane from Uhtred’s company.
"Oh, I forgot to bring flowers. Isn't it customary to bring flowers for such occasions?" he mumbled, hiccupping, his clouded mismatched eyes boldly meeting Eanflaed's.
"What are you doing here?" Eanflaed demanded, eyeing him critically from head to toe.
Sihtric felt a sobering jolt from Eanflaed’s tone. Despite his drunken state, a wave of embarrassment washed over him. What was he doing here, indeed? He wasn't even sure how he had managed to find his way here in his current condition.
Compelled by the fear of encountering you again, he had stealthily slipped away under the cover of night, heading to the inn where Uhtred had secured rooms for them. There, he had joined the few remaining guests in their drinking. The ale had bolstered his courage, fueling his burning need for answers, and his legs had unwittingly led him here.
That brief moment the previous evening, when your eyes had met his, had unsettled him deeply. The surprise and pain etched on your face as you looked at him had caused him to nearly stumble and drop the girl he was holding. Why had you looked at him that way? Weren't you supposed to be happy and content, ready to start your new life without any place for his unrequited affection?
"I'm not sure," he mumbled, his momentary boldness fading into abashment.
"After what you did yesterday, you have the nerve to come here asking for her? You... you drunken fool," Eanflaed said, her voice rising in anger as she dropped the rag she was using to clean the counter. She advanced towards Sihtric, her smaller stature no match for her palpable fury. Sihtric instinctively began to retreat until he backed into a bench and clumsily sat down, trying to avoid tumbling over it, his warrior’s poise nowhere to be seen under Eanflaed’s fiery gaze.
"I don't know what tales you spun before leaving, but she waited for you all these long months. And just yesterday, she rejected a marriage proposal because of you. Do you grasp that, you fucking fool? She rejected Sigefried and ran off just to see you parade off with Ealfwin, ignoring her as if she were a complete stranger. And now you want to talk to her?" Eanflaed hurled her words at Sihtric with the force of thrown stones, growing louder as she jabbed her finger into Sihtric's chest.
"She did what?" Sihtric's eyes widened in shock, his mouth agape as he stared at the angry small woman before him. Her words had sobered him like a bucket of cold water on his head and in that moment Sihtric wished for nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. "By the gods, what a fool I am," he groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"Leave now, or I'll call the town guards, and you can sober up in the sheriff's cell," Eanflaed threatened.
"Wait, please, let me explain," Sihtric pleaded, his voice tinged with desperation.
"I don’t want your excuses. Just leave! I won’t let you disrupt her life again. She might be reconciling with Sigefried as we speak..."
"I saw them! Yesterday, before coming here. I witnessed the proposal," Sihtric interjected, his voice rising in frustration. "I love her, I came back for her but I thought I stood no chance against him. I wanted to spare her the burden of remembering me. I never imagined she might still care."
"Oh, boy," Eanflaed sighed, her anger subsiding as she slumped onto the bench beside Sihtric. "That explains Ealfwin's odd night with you."
"What should I do?" There was such a despair in Sihtric’s voice that Eanflaed unwillingly felt sympathy with the boy. “Where is she? Please, I need to see her,” he pleaded.
"She's gone to speak with Sigefried," Eanflaed replied reluctantly, watching Sihtric's shoulders slump in defeat. After a moment, she added, "I’ll tell her you were here asking for her. But that’s all I’ll do. It’s up to her whether she wants to see you or not."
"Please, tell her I'll be at the White Goose inn, upstairs, last room on the left. I'll wait for her," Sihtric said, a hint of hope flickering in his voice.
—--------------------------------------------------
"I was afraid you wouldn't come," Sihtric said, taking a hesitant step back to let you into the room. A timid smile touched his lips. As you stepped inside, removing the hood of your cloak, your eyes took in the modest yet orderly room. Sihtric shut the door and faced you, his fingers nervously running through his hair while his gaze fell to his feet. "I... I..." he faltered.
"I honestly don't know why I'm here," you admitted, surprised at the calmness of your voice despite your heart pounding wildly in your chest. What were you doing here? You hadn't intended to come. When Eanflaed had conveyed to you Sihtric’s message, you knew instantly it wasn't a good idea, you knew it was only going to hurt and you had decided against it.
It's no use crying over spilled milk, you had told yourself as you headed towards the small street leading to your home. You rented a tiny attic room in an old, crooked house, owned by a landlady as aged and bent as the building itself. Evening was drawing near, and after last sleepless night, you longed for some rest before tomorrow.
Tomorrow. The word struck you like a bolt, a piercing realisation. Tomorrow was your wedding day. The cool autumn air filled your lungs, each season with its unique aroma, but autumn's – with its scents of rain, fallen leaves, and chimney smoke – was your favourite.
Faint, hazy memories of a warm fireplace in a spacious room and the comforting chatter of gathered people lingered at the edge of your consciousness, as you slowly wandered along the empty and quiet streets of the drowsy town. Your yearning for sleep had slowly vanished. Tonight, nobody awaited you at home, a fact that would change tomorrow. Everything would be different then. But for now, the night was yours – the last night of freedom, the last night you could choose to do whatever you wished. Slowly lifting your eyes, you found yourself staring in surprise at the sign of the White Goose inn, gently swaying in the breeze above.
You were unsure how you found yourself there, but there you were, almost dreamlike, extending your hand to push open the large wooden doors leading to the noisy, crowded main room. Pulling your cape further over your head, you moved unnoticed through the busy, half-drunk crowd, heading straight for the stairs.
“Last room on the left,” you murmured to yourself, repeating Eanflaed’s words. Your footsteps echoed in the empty hallway, resonating through you like a bizarre war drum. “What am I doing here?” you questioned yourself yet again, halting before the door. Nonetheless, your hand seemed to move on its own, lifted as if by an unseen force, and three loud knocks rang out.
You gasped in surprise as the door swung open almost instantly, cutting off the sound of your last knock. You were met by the deep, slightly startled gaze of two mismatched eyes.
Sihtric’s voice was as soft and melodic as you remembered. “At least that hasn’t changed,” you thought fleetingly, as you stepped inside, only for the sound of the door closing behind you, sharp like the snap of a trap, to jolt you back to the reality, the sheer absurdity of the situation you had just brought yourself into washing over you like a rainstorm.
“It was a mistake. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come,” you stammered, trying to edge past Sihtric in a quick movement back toward the door.
He hadn’t expected this. After spending hours and hours pacing his small room, he had finally lost all hope of you showing up. Muffled curses and groans kept rolling over his lips as the shadows lengthened with the setting sun, his arms alternating between clasping his head and hanging listlessly at his sides, his fists clenching and unclenching, fingers raking through his hair or covering his face in frustration. The knock had taken him by surprise, standing by the door, rhythmically bumping his head against the wall, his elbows propped against it, fingers interlocked behind his head.
He had yanked the door open, fueled by frustration, only to be completely caught off guard by the sight of you standing there, your hand still raised from the last knock. Fighting the impulse to pinch himself, to verify that he wasn't dreaming, Sihtric watched you hesitantly stepping into the room. His gaze fell to the floor, while his mind scrambled for something coherent to say. Throughout the long hours of waiting, he had rehearsed this moment in his mind countless times, imagining all the things he wanted to say, just to find his mind empty as a blank sheet of parchment.
His gaze still fixed on his feet, Sihtric almost didn't notice your sudden dash for the door. You were close to escaping, your hand nearly grasping the handle, when he realised your intent to flee and instinctively reached out, catching your arm and turning you around. You attempted to pull away, struggling to free yourself from his grip, but in the rush, Sihtric made another step toward you, and suddenly, you found yourself pressed against the door, his towering figure looming over you.
“Please, don’t go,” Sihtric’s voice was deep and hoarse, a noticeable tremor running through it. His eyes finally met yours as he placed his hands on your shoulders, immediately feeling you tense up, panic and fear evident in your wide-open eyes. It was a look he recognized all too well, one he had seen too often, but never expected to be directed at him. Yet, there you were, staring back with a deepening darkness in your eyes and quickening breath.
"I’m sorry," he quickly stepped back, letting go of you and raising his hands as if in surrender. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry. I…I’m getting this all wrong, aren't I? Please, just don't go yet. Give me a moment," the pleading tone in his voice washed over you, but amidst your rising anxiety, you barely absorbed his words.
Averting your gaze and driven by instinctive fear, you reached behind your back, your hand frantically searching for the life-saving door handle. Your fingers finally found it, gripping it tightly, poised to push it down and open your path to escape as you looked back up at Sihtric and froze, surprised by the lost, sorrowful expression on his face, his large, expressive eyes shining with warm tenderness. There he was, the same insecure, alarmed boy, who had so trustfully followed you, squeezing your hand in his sweaty palm, his anxiety barely concealed.
"I won't hold you back. If you want to leave, you can," he stated, stepping further back, giving you ample space, as if to emphasise the truth in his words. His gaze remained intently on you, earnest and unwavering. "You are safe with me. I'll never hurt you, you know that? Never."
Your expression softened, and the fear in you slowly ebbed away. You let your arms fall to your sides, though your chest continued to rise and fall quickly as you took deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart. Time seemed to stretch out, the two of you locked in a silent gaze, the air around you thick with unspoken words and anticipation.
"What do you want from me?" you found the courage to break the silence.
"I missed you," came Sihtric’s immediate response. "Every single day since I left, you’ve been on my mind. I couldn't escape the thought of you."
"Then why…" you began, but Sihtric quickly cut you off.
"I saw you with Sigefried," he blurted out, his voice unsteady. "I heard his proposal, and then I saw him kiss you…" His voice faltered and broke, pausing for a moment to gather himself. "I... I had brought you flowers, and there he was, offering you a home, a future. I... I didn’t know what to do... I…" He stumbled over his words, his voice trailing off, as he struggled to continue.
"You brought me flowers?" you asked, a quiver in your voice, recalling your surprise this morning when you had seen the delicate blooms crushed in the dirt outside the alehouse. A sudden moisture gathered in the corners of your eyes, and it took all your willpower to hold back the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.
"Is what Eanflaed said true?" Sihtric's gaze dropped to the floor, and even in the dimming light of the setting sun, you could see his cheeks redden. "She said you waited for me, that you turned him down because of me. Is that true?" His voice was barely above a whisper.
Words seemed to lodge in your throat, making it difficult to speak. "Yes, I did," you finally managed, your voice emerging faintly. "But it doesn’t matter now. I accepted Sigefried’s proposal this morning. We’re getting married tomorrow after the morning sermon."
"What? Why?" Sihtric exclaimed, lifting his head, a look of pain crossing his face.
You gazed at him, a sad smile tugging at your lips, still leaning against the door. You wondered if he really expected an answer. He looked striking in the fading sunlight, the sharp contours of his face thrown into relief by the encroaching shadows, his beautiful, captivating eyes locking with yours, making it impossible to look away. A silent curse escaped your lips, your hands slowly balling into fists as you fought to regulate your increasingly shallow breathing. Your cheeks warmed under Sihtric’s intense gaze, a familiar heat spreading from your stomach through your veins, tingling every cell in your body, clouding your thoughts.
There was a part of you that knew there was nothing more to be said, it was time to leave, a distant voice in your consciousness urged you to go. Instead you straightened up, stepping away from the door, and hesitantly moved towards Sihtric. With each step, the distance between you lessened until you were standing right in front of him. Your hand trembled as you reached up, gently cradling his cheek, your thumb lightly tracing his lower lip.
"Thank you for the flowers," you whispered softly.
"But, I didn’t..." Sihtric began in a hushed tone.
"You are the first one," you gently cut him off, a tender yet sad smile on your lips, "The only one who ever thought to bring me flowers."
Closing his eyes, Sihtric leaned into your touch, his hand coming up to cover yours, pressing it more firmly against his cheek, a deep sigh escaping him. In that moment, he seemed to straddle the line between boyhood and manhood, like a young soul yearning for love and affection, yet hesitant to fully express it for fear of exposing his innate kindness as a vulnerability.
"I… I shouldn’t be here..." you stammered, your resolve wavering.
"Stay… please, stay with me," Sihtric's plea was soft, his other hand gently cupping your cheek, drawing you closer. He leaned in slowly, deliberately, giving you the chance to pull away if you wished.
You wanted to turn away, to step back and withdraw. It wasn't Sihtric's hold that restrained you – his touch was so featherlight and delicate that you could have easily slipped away at any moment. It was your own body that betrayed you, refusing to comply. With your eyes closed, you felt Sihtric’s lips tentatively meet yours, grazing them in an almost imperceptible touch, his breath warm and trembling against your skin.
“I can’t,” you murmured softly against his lips, but the involuntary whimper that followed told a different story. Despite your words, your hands seemed to act of their own accord, as they found their way to Sihtric’s neck, then upwards, weaving into his hair. The fervour with which you responded to his kiss, parting your lips in an eager, almost desperate need to taste him, betrayed the falsehood in your words.
Emboldened by your response, Sihtric deepened the kiss. His hands slid down to your waist, pulling you firmly against his chest. And this time he knew exactly what he was doing, his movements were assured, his lips moving over yours with purpose. His tongue slipped inside your mouth, teasing and exploring, savouring the moment.
Your senses reeled. The sensation of Sihtric’s lips pressed against yours, his tongue entwining with yours, the mingling of your breaths, ignited a fire within you that you could no longer contain or deny. You kissed him back passionately, desperately, matching the intensity of his own need.
Sihtric let out a soft moan as you gently bit his lower lip, stirring sweet memories of your first time together. His hands cradled your face, drawing you closer to his eager yet tender lips. His eyes were closed, his breathing shallow and quick, and you felt utterly swamped by the intoxicating depth of his kiss, wishing this moment would last forever, that his lips would never part from yours, his hands never release you.
Your fingers began to fumble with the laces of his armour, impatient and desirous they tugged at the fastenings and Sihtric helped you to free him from the layers of the thick leather that kept your heated bodies apart.
"May I?" he asked, his hands hovering over the laces of your dress. You smiled, recalling how you had once asked him the same question.
"Yes, please," you responded, your voice quivering with anticipation. You held your breath as Sihtric's rough fingers began to undo your simple dress, first brushing it off your shoulders, then tracing kisses down your neck to your collarbone. With a firm tug, the dress fell to your feet, eliciting a sharp exhale from Sihtric that made you blush.
Sihtric's palms cupped your face again, and he pressed his forehead against yours. "Do you want me?" he whispered, his voice husky and slightly hoarse, his breath unsteady.
"Yyyes, I do," you whispered back. That was the undeniable truth, the sole clear thought in your mind. You wanted him, needed him, like a budding flower needs the rain. Yes, tomorrow everything would change, everything would be different. Tomorrow you would be married, embarking on a new life, but tonight, you were here and you were his and only his.
The soft moan that escaped Sihtric as he claimed your lips again in a gentle yet urgent kiss sent a flutter through you. Sihtric continued to cover your face with soft kisses, starting from your forehead, then moving to your cheeks, and finally trailing down to your jawline. His large hands settled on your hips, pressing you firmly against his pelvis as his hips gently rocked against yours, letting you feel his fully hard cock. “Do you want all of me?” he asked again.
Throughout your life, you had encountered many men, but none had ever made you feel as desired, cherished, and loved as Sihtric did at this moment. And never had you yearned for someone as intensely as you yearned for him now. It wasn't just lust or affection for this young man clouding your thoughts; it was something deeper, a profound and new sensation unfurling within you, so intense it was almost frightening.
“Please, say it. I need to hear it,” he urged, his voice strained between heavy breaths.
“I do, I want you, all of you, every part of you,” you moaned hungrily, your by now completely soaked pussy throbbing for him as your fingers went down to the laces of his breeches, unfastening them quickly, slipping inside and wrapping around his hard length, giving it a needy stroke.
Sihtric groaned, his hands quickly gathering your undergarments, pushing them up your hips and smoothly lifting them over your head in one fluid motion. His arms immediately wrapped around your shoulders again, pulling you close to his bare chest. The warmth of his body enveloped you, seeping into your skin as his mouth traced a path from your jaw down to your neck, leaving a trail of wet, sloppy kisses and gently nipping at your skin. A loud whine escaped you, your skin tingling under the heat of his touch.
Sihtric placed his hands under your thighs, lifting you up effortlessly as you wrapped your legs around his waist. You pressed against his broad chest, your arms encircling his neck, marvelling at his strength. He carried you easily, without any sign of strain, and gently laid you down on his bed.
You quickly scrambled up to your knees and reached for his waist, pulling down his breeches and freeing his fully hard cock. You licked your lips as you wrapped your hand around it, giving it a slow stroke and moving your head closer to his dripping tip. Sihtric’s head snapped back as he groaned loudly at your touch, but his hand firmly took hold of your chin, stopping you.
“This time it’s my turn,” he said firmly, his eyes looking down at you dark with lust. “Let me make you feel good,” he murmured, gently pushing you back on the bed, moving his body over you and settling between your legs as he started placing soft kisses down your neck.
He paused at your breasts, suckling slightly at your hard nipples, before going further down, each sloppy open mouthed kiss making you writhe beneath him. Muffled whines rolled over your lips as he continued kissing his way down to your belly, until he reached your pulsing core and the first lap of his tongue over your folds made you arch your back and dig your nails into the mattress, a heavy moan escaping you.
“Oh God, it feels so good,” you whined, and Sihtric let out a satisfied groan, his hot breath tickling you and making the pleasure even more intense. His hands were on your hips, keeping you firmly in place, as he sucked hard at your clit and circled it with his tongue. You felt your climax building up quickly, each lap of his tongue bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. You whined and whimpered, rocking your hips against him, mewling his name and begging him not to stop and the moment he pushed his tongue inside you, you felt a hot wave of pure bliss washing over you. Everything around you faded away, consumed by the inferno of ecstasy running through your veins and burning everything in its path, erasing all your doubts and possible regrets.
Sihtric let you savour your high, his tongue gently lapping over your clit, waiting until your body stopped shaking. "Was I good?" he asked, as he moved back on top of you, a slightly sheepish look on his face paired with a mischievous, boyish glint in his eyes, clearly seeking praise and affirmation.
"Holy shit, you were sinfully good," you exclaimed, laughter bubbling up as you were taken aback by the profanity of your own words. You pulled him into your embrace, your legs wrapping around his waist. In that moment, nothing else mattered. All that was important was the soft press of Sihtric’s lips against yours, the comforting weight of his body pinning you to the mattress, and the delightful sensation of his breath tickling your skin.
“I want you, I want to be inside you, to feel you around me,” Sihtric murmured in your ear, breathing heavily, his hard, leaking cock pressing against your core. “Will you have me?”
“Yes, please! I want you. Oh my God, I need you… I need to feel you again,” you moaned, shamelessly rolling your hips up against him. That was all he needed to hear, and in the next instant he was pushing inside you. His hands firmly grasped your wrists, securing your arms above your head, while he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply as if savouring every scent like a dying man cherishing his final breath.
He pushed into you completely until the very end of his shaft, freezing for a moment. “Gods, how good you feel!” Sihtric groaned against your skin, his lips sliding over your neck, nibbling at your sensitive skin. You bucked your hips impatiently, grinding against him, showing him how much you wanted him, how much you needed him and he instantly got you, starting to move, slowly in the beginning, but fastening his pace with each thrust until he was fucking you relentlessly into the mattress, wild growls rolling over his lips.
You met his thrusts with equal eagerness and passion, moving your hips against him, matching his pace. You felt impossibly light, as if soaring, your body seemingly weightless, free from all worries and sorrows. In that moment, there was no past, no future, just the present, blissfully unaware of your surroundings, even the image of the impending wedding had left you as you surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure surging within you, consuming all your senses.
Your eyes met Sihtric's, and you revelled in the way he gazed at you with such tender fondness, mixed with an unspoken, elusive depth, the softness in his eyes, a trait you never expected to find in a warrior, making your breath hitching in your throat.
You moaned his name, feeling your orgasm approaching, and dug your nails in his back. “Let go, my love,” Sihtric groaned, pounding into you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Let yourself fly. I want you to cum for me. I want to see you falling apart,” he murmured, reaching between your bodies and pushing his fingers at your clit, rubbing it gently.
You gasped loudly at the sudden feeling of exhilaration washing over you and then you were falling or maybe flying, you couldn’t tell, as your back arched against the mattress in the most intense orgasm you had ever had. Your walls clenched around Sihtric’s cock and, watching your face lighten up in pure happiness, he followed you spilling deep inside you with a loud groan.
“You are so beautiful,” Sihtric moaned, crashing against you, and you wrapped your arms around him with a blissful smile gracing your lips.
“Don’t move,” you purred in his ear. “I want to feel you a little bit longer.”
"As long as you want. I don’t want to let go of you, anyway," Sihtric replied with a deep sigh. "I want you to stay here with me. Will you?" The pleading tone of his voice was tinged with uncertainty.
"I will. I'll stay for the night," you whispered, cradling Sihtric’s face in your hands, gazing deeply into his captivating eyes, and sealing your promise with a tender, soft kiss. You held back a sigh that threatened to break free, grateful that the fallen darkness helped you to conceal the tears that shimmered in your eyes from Sihtric’s view.
Sihtric had so much he wanted to tell you. His wish wasn't merely for you to stay the night; he wanted you to stay with him forever. He longed to awaken each morning to your face, to the feeling of your warmth beside him. He told himself there would be time for those words tomorrow, and every day that followed. For now, you were here, with him, and his happiness was too profound for words, his contentment too deep to break the peaceful silence. Gently, he wrapped the blanket around you, just like that first time, and drew you into his embrace. Your back pressed snugly against his chest, your hair spread over the pillow, he inhaled your exhilarating scent and let the comforting fatigue seep into his bones, lulling him into a restful sleep.
—-------------------------------------
Sihtric awoke to a strange sense of emptiness and a chill in the air. Instinctively, he reached out, expecting to find the warmth of your body, but his hand met only the cold, thin air. His eyes fluttered open to a room bathed in the golden hues of sun long risen above the horizon. Your scent lingered, yet you were nowhere to be seen.
Leaping out of bed, Sihtric looked around in confusion.
"Damn it, no... it can’t be. Damn it!" he muttered as he paced the room. "Why? Why is she doing this to me?" he groaned, his hands balling into fists. A wave of despair and a sense of profound failure overwhelmed him. What had he done wrong? Did last night mean nothing to you?
Glancing quickly out the window, Sihtric saw the small town coming to life in the new day's light, and his ears picked up the distant sound of church bells ringing. A painful realisation struck him, and he raked his hands through his hair, cursing softly.
"Fuck, no…" Sihtric exclaimed, scrambling to gather his clothes strewn about the room. Dressing himself hastily, he then stormed out of the room and pounded on the door down the corridor with both fists.
"What's going on? Sihtric, have you lost your mind?" Uhtred's sleepy face appeared in the doorway.
"Lord, I need your permission. I need your permission to marry," Sihtric nearly shouted, and Uhtred's annoyed expression shifted to one of complete amusement.
"You want to marry? Now? Are you drunk?"
"Yes, lord. No, lord. Now, or it will be too late," Sihtric implored, desperation in his voice. "I've been too late twice already. I can’t miss another chance."
"Wait, slow down! Explain what's happening," Uhtred said, fully opening the door and gesturing for Sihtric to come in.
"Lord…" Sihtric began to protest, but a stern look from Uhtred halted him. With a heavy sigh, Sihtric stepped inside.
—------------------------------------------------
"Should anyone here know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace," the priest intoned, and you held your breath in anxious anticipation.
Stealing a glance beneath your lashes, you looked hesitantly at Sigefried beside you. His gaze was locked on the priest, not on you, his fingers tapping against his palm with an air of impatience, as if eager for the ceremony to conclude.
A wave of nausea began to stir in your stomach. Was this the right decision? Was there even such a thing as a right decision? Your feelings for Sihtric were undeniable – profound and inexplicable, intense beyond words. Yet here you were, at the altar.
The hardest part had been slipping away from Sihtric's warm embrace. You had shifted carefully to free yourself from his hold, withdrawing your breath as it seemed you had awakened him. He had moved closer momentarily, his arm tightening around you. You waited, but his steady and rhythmic breathing soon told you he was still asleep.
Finally out of bed, the cool air bit against your naked skin. You quickly picked up your clothes, and dressed. You were already at the door, your hand reaching out for the handle, as you stopped and turned, casting one last look at Sihtric. He appeared so peaceful, content, and serene in the ethereal light of the dawn's first rays, looking so young and innocent, like a prince from a fairy tale. But as much as you wished for it, this fairy tale couldn’t have a happy ending.
You couldn’t stay. Despite the ache in your heart, it was impossible. He was from a different world, he was a stranger, a passer by in your life. The events of the past days had made that painfully evident.
Today he was here with you, but tomorrow he would leave again, bound to follow his lord wherever fate led. What would remain for you? Only waiting. An endless, uncertain wait, shrouded in doubt and suspense, without even knowing its purpose. His absence turning into eternity you would never know whether it was because his gods had called him from this world or because he had chosen to marry and settle down with someone else. And nobody would ever tell you, for you were not a part of his world.
You struggled to contain the tears welling up, but realising there was no one around to witness them, you allowed them to flow freely as you gently closed the door behind you. As much as it tore at your heart, you were grateful to fate for having your paths crossed with this sweet, passionate, and kindhearted young warrior. He had awakened emotions within you that you were certain would stay with you for the rest of your life, giving you warmth and strength to face what you must do.
"Please face each other and join hands," the priest's voice pulled you back from your thoughts, and you turned towards your soon-to-be husband, extending your trembling hands. A shy smile touched your lips, but it failed to reach your eyes, where tears shimmered.
The priest drew breath, and opened his mouth to speak as a loud voice suddenly cut through the air "I object!" echoed through the vast hall and a figure blocked the light streaming through the open doors of the church. You flinched, as if stung, immediately recognizing the voice. Panic welled up inside you as you turned, already knowing who you would see, the voice having been unmistakably familiar.
Why was he doing this? Was it an act of revenge for wounded pride? Was he about to reveal that you had spent the night with him, just to shame you? Could he really be that heartless? Questions fluttered through your mind like alarmed birds as you saw three men, three warriors, stride down the church aisle, stopping just before you.
The priest shifted nervously, his robe rustling in the sudden, uneasy silence. No one spoke. You didn’t dare to lift your gaze, acutely feeling the stares of Sigefried and the few witnesses he had brought, as if they were piercing through you.
"I object," Sihtric repeated, this time more quietly, a strange tremor in his voice.
"What matter do you wish to raise, young man?" the priest inquired, casting nervous glances at the three men, his eyes widening with apprehension upon noticing Thor's hammer around the necks of two of them.
"You can't marry him," Sihtric said, now addressing you directly. His voice was soft, almost imploring, devoid of any malice or anger. Sigefried cleared his throat, seemingly about to interject. He moved a step towards Sihtric, but the firm stares from Uhtred and Finan caused him to reconsider, and he stepped back silently.
"Why?" your question emerged as a faint whisper under your breath as you still didn’t dare to raise your eyes.
"Because I love you," Sihtric's answer struck you like a bolt from the blue.
"You love me?" you echoed, the concept feeling foreign and almost unreal. Love was a notion that had seemed absent from your life. Even recognising the feelings you had for Sihtric you had never dared to call them love. Could it truly have a place now? You lifted your eyes, meeting Sihtric’s earnest gaze.
"I love you and I know that you love me too, even if you try to hide it. Can you deny it?," Sihtric’s voice resonated with unwavering certainty, free of any doubt or hesitation, as he knelt before you, extending his arm towards you. "I may not have much to offer, but I offer you my hand, my heart, and the promise that I will love you until my last breath. Will you marry me?"
You struggled to speak, but a lump in your throat rendered you silent. The church was steeped in a suffocating silence, and you stared down at Sihtric in disbelief. His gaze was steady, his hand outstretched and waiting.
Inside, Sihtric’s heart pounded at an alarming rate. He summoned all his willpower to appear calm and composed, concealing the storm of emotions within, striving to keep his outstretched hand from trembling. As the silence stretched, doubts began to cloud his mind. Had he been mistaken all along? Had he seen only what he longed to see, even if it wasn't true? Was he merely deceived by his own foolish heart, seeking love and acceptance in a place where none existed? His eyes darkened with shades of doubt and disillusion.
“Yes, I will,” your words emerged as a faint whisper, a light breeze carrying the soft clang of your shaking voice, yet he heard them. Those three words seemed to breathe life back into Sihtric, his eyes brightening with hope and happiness.
“Yes, yes! Oh my God, Sihtric, I love you! I will! I will marry you!” You found your voice again, repeating the words, thrilled by their sound. You placed your trembling hand in Sihtric’s, seeking stability as the world seemed to spin around you. In seconds, Sihtric was on his feet, closing the gap between you, wrapping you in his embrace, showering your face with kisses.
“I knew it, I knew you loved me. I saw it in your beautiful eyes. I could feel it, ” he murmured into your ear.
“Hey, priest, snap out of it. We’ve got a wedding to conduct,” Uhtred’s distant voice seemed to come from another realm. You looked up at Sihtric questioningly, only to be met with his reassuring smile.
“I will marry you here before your God, and when we return to Cochem, I’ll marry you again before my gods. Nothing in this world or the next will ever tear us apart.”
#sihtric#sihtric kjartansson#sihtric x reader#sihtric x you#sihtric fic#the last kingdom#tlk#sihtric smut#the last kingdom fanfic
248 notes
·
View notes
Note
HII EMMA, I just wanted to tell you that you’re one of my favorite users on tumblr if not my favorite. Anyway I’ve seen you did the Ancient Rome script and I LOVED it. So can you do an Ancient Egypt script too if you can? I’m shifting to the prince of Egypt 🫶🏻 THANK YOUU
the ultimate guide to surviving ancient egypt.
time traveller, welcome !!!! you stand at the threshold of one of history’s most opulent and mysterious civilisations.....ancient egypt. a land of towering pyramids, sacred temples, and a society so deeply entwined with its gods that the line between mortal and divine blurs. my name is emma, and if you want to not only survive but thrive in this world of pharaohs, priests, and scribes, you’re going to need more than just blind luck.
forget everything you know about modern convenience. no running water, no wifi, no google maps. you’re stepping into a civilisation that has perfected the art of both grandeur and survival for over three millennia.
⊹ ︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶ ⊹
◞ social structure & blending in.
ancient egypt is a hierarchical society where social class dictates everything from your clothing to your access to temples. the nobility, scribes, and priests hold power, while farmers and labourers form the backbone of the economy. if you’re aiming for survival, either blend into the upper class or adopt the disguise of a scribe. education is a key social elevator. if you want the easy route, have a compelling backstory as a foreign noble, or forge a connection with the priesthood.
◞ titles && status to guide yourself by.
pharaoh : literally a god on earth. don’t offend them. nobles and officials : control administration and land. dress richly, act poised. scribes : literate and valuable. learning hieroglyphs can get you into many doors. priests : have spiritual and often political power. great connections. artisans and merchants : middle-class but respected for their work. farmers and labourers : the vast majority. hard lives, heavy taxes. slaves and servants : often war captives. zero autonomy.
◞ hygiene & beauty (aka, avoiding disease and smelling like a deity).
ancient egyptians take hygiene seriously, and you should too. disease is rampant, and being clean is not just about vanity. it’s survival. essentials included. . .
bathing : daily cleansing is a MUST. use natron (a natural salt) as soap. perfumes and oils : frankincense, myrrh, and lotus oil are status symbols AND practical (they mask body odour and deter lice). shaving : egyptians detest body hair. use bronze razors or depilatory creams. makeup : kohl-lined eyes prevent glare from the sun and have antibacterial properties. linen clothing : light and breathable, keeps you cool. wigs (yes !) : essential for elites, they are perfumed and keep bugs away.
◞ food & drink.
avoid starving by sticking to a staple egyptian diet. if you’re noble, enjoy lavish banquets. If not, stick to the essentials. do not drink nile water unless you like parasitic infections. beer and wine are safe bets.
bread and beer : the foundation of all meals. fruits and vegetables : dates, figs, onions, leeks, and cucumbers. meat and fish : nobles get beef and poultry; commoners rely on fish. dairy : milk, cheese, and butter are common. honey and spices : used for sweets and preserving food.
◞ shelter & lodging.
if you’re noble, you’ll have a house made of mudbrick with courtyards and pools. If not, simple mudbrick homes with few rooms. temples often provide lodging for scribes and priests. good for you, i have some travel hacks.
temples and inns : often have food and shelter for travellers. avoid the desert at night : sandstorms, bandits, and jackals. use the nile : boats are the best mode of transport.
◞ safety & warfare (aka, don’t get killed).
egypt is relatively stable, but internal power struggles and invasions happen. your best bet is to keep a low profile and don’t offend priests or the pharaoh. if caught in a legal dispute, bribe a scribe to doctor the records. justice favours the literate and well-connected. albeit, try to avoid these dangers. . .
crime : thieves lurk in busy markets. military drafts : if war happens, you might get recruited. wild animals : crocodiles, hippos, and scorpions. avoid them. the afterlife obsession : mummies and tomb curses.....real concerns.
◞ money & shopping.
egyptians use a barter system, but weights of silver and gold serve as currency. markets are your go-to for essentials. sadly there weren't any designers. alas, here's where to shop . . .
the marketplace : everything from linen to cosmetics. the temple storehouses : goods from taxes and offerings. workshops : best for tailored clothing and crafted goods.
◞ entertainment & leisure.
nobles feast, play senet (a board game), and attend religious festivals. music, dance, and poetry are popular.
things to try . . . attend a festival : great for networking. visit a temple library : read and gain knowledge. watch a hunt : nobles hunt hippos and lions for sport.
things to avoid. . . speaking ill of the gods : instant execution. the wrong political alliances : power shifts quickly. tomb robbery : even thinking about it gets you cursed.
anyways. ancient egypt is luxurious yet dangerous. stay smart, stay clean, and stay in the good graces of the gods (or at least the priests). now go forth, time traveller, and may ma’at (balance and order) guide your journey.
#asks#emma motivates#shifting#shifting motivation#reality shifting#desired reality#realityshifting#reality shift#shifting community#shifting realities#emmas vampire dr#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting reality#reality shifting methods#reality shifting community#shifting advice#shifting help#shifting ideas#shifting memes#shifting consciousness#shifting diary#shifting methods#shifting script#shifting stories#shifting thoughts#shifting tips#shifting to desired reality#shifting storytime#shifting realities stories
57 notes
·
View notes