#thoughts of dread
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Been a while. I got a Blahaj, aside from the cuddles the best part is that he makes good support for sleeping when my chronic pain is bad.
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Semi-motivational quotes from Hayao Miyazaki
#hayao miyazaki#spirited away#princess mononoke#studio ghibli#ghibli films#ghibli movie#my neighbor totoro#quotes#motivating quotes#mangaka#manga#anime#existentialism#existential dread#existential thoughts
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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this one's been a wip longer than your typical alcoholic dad's marriage and i prolly wont finish it any time soon so have this ig.
#the thought of rendering this dreads me at night#but i really wanna finish it#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#bernard dowd#batfam#wip#timbern#batman
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Don't ask me who I am. I'm a stranger, even to my own name.
#thoughts#words#life#prose#writing#poem#poems on tumblr#poetry#quote#words words words#quotes#writerscommunity#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poetic#english literature#literature#existential crisis#existential dread#nobody
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Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 1
Post is under a cut due to length.
There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user's post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and played the game. nb, this post is more of a 'info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts' collection rather than a 'regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal' post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this. if you notice any mistakes in this post, please tell me.
as this post hit a kind of character limit, there will probably be at least 1 more post. :)
Character Creation
CC is vast [source] and immensely detailed [source]
We will enter CC straight after Varric's opening narration [source]
You are given 5 categories to work your way through in CC: Lineage, Appearance, Class, Faction, Playstyle. Each of these has a range of subcategories within them. There are 8 subcategories within the "head" subcategory" in "Appearance" alone [source]
Lineage dictates things like race (i.e. human, elf, dwarf, qunari) and backstory [source]
Backstories include things like factions. Factions offer 3 distinct buffs each [source]
There are dozens and dozens of hairstyles [source]
There are separate options for binary and non-binary pronouns and gender [source]
"BioWare's work behind the scenes, meanwhile, goes as deep as not only skin tones but skin undertones, melanin levels, and the way skin reacts differently to light" [source]
CC has a range of lighting options within it so that you can check how the character looks in them [source]
There are a range of full-body customization options such as a triangular slider between body types and individual settings down to everything from shoulder width to glute volume [source]. There are "all the sliders [we] could possibly want". The body morpher option allows us to choose different body sizes [source]
All body options are non-gendered [source]
They/them pronouns are an option [source]
Rook can be played as non-binary [source]
Individual strands of hair were rendered separately and react remarkably to in-game physics [source]
Special, focused attention was paid to ensuring that hairstyles "come across as well-representative, that everyone can see hairstyles that feel authentic to them, even the way they render" [source]
The game uses strand hair technology borrowed in part from the EA Sports games. The hair is "fully-controlled by physics," so it "looks even better in motion than it does here in a standstill" [source]
The ability to import our choices from previous games is fully integrated into CC. This will take the form of tarot cards - "you can go into your past adventures" and this mechanic tells you what the context was and what decision you want to make [source]
In CC we will also be able to customize/remake our Inquisitor [source]
A core tenet of the game is "be who you want to be" [source]
There are presets for all 4 of the game's races (human, elf, dwarf, qunari), in case detailed CCs overwhelm you [source]
Story
The story is set 9 years since Inquisition [source]
The Inquisitor will appear [source]
Other characters refer to the PC as Rook [source]. This article says they are "the Rook" [source]
The ability to import our choices from previous games is fully integrated into CC. This will take the form of tarot cards - "you can go into your past adventures" and this mechanic tells you what the context was and what decision you want to make [source]
The prologue is quite lengthy. A narrated intro from Varric lays the groundwork with some lore and explains about Solas [source]. In this Varric-narrated opening section, the dwarf recaps the events of previous games and explains the motivations of Solas [source] (Fel note/speculation: this sounds like this cinematic that we saw on DA Day 2023)
What happens first off is that Rook, who is working with Varric, is interrogating a bartender about the whereabouts of a contact in Minrathous who can help them stop Solas. The bartender does not play nice and we are presented with our first choice: talk the bartender down or intimidate them aggressively [source]
The first hour of the game is "a luxurious nighttime romp through a crumbling city under a mix of twinkling starlight and lavish midnight blue" (Minrathous) [source]. The game begins with a tavern brawl (depending on dialogue options) and a stroll through Minrathous in search of Neve Gallus, who has a lead on Solas [source]. Minrathous then comes under attack [source] by demons [source] (Fel note/speculation: it sounds like the demo the press played is what we saw in the Gameplay Reveal). Off in the distance is a vibrant, colorful storm where Solas is performing his ritual. [source] Eventually we come upon Harding. [source] and Neve. Rook and co enter a crumbling castle, where ancient elf secrets pop up, "seemingly just for the lore nerds". [source] Then we teleport to Arlathan Forest, have a mini boss fight with a Pride Demon, and there is the climactic confrontation with Solas. After a closing sequence, at this point it is the end of the game's opening mission. [source] (Fel note/speculation: So the Gameplay Reveal showed the game's opening mission)
The action in the story's opening parts starts off quite quick from the sounds of things: the devs wanted to get the player right in to the story. because, “Especially with an RPG where they can be quite lore-heavy, a lot of exposition at the front and remembering proper nouns, it can be very overwhelming.” [source]
BioWare wanted to make the beginning of Dragon Age: The Veilguard feel like the finale of one of their other games [source]
Rook's Faction will be referenced in dialogue [source]
Minrathous is beautiful, with giant statues, floating palaces, orange lantern glow and magical runes which glow green neon. These act "like electricity" as occasional signs above pubs and stores [source]
The story has a lot of darkness tonally. These dark parts of the game contain the biggest spoilers [source]. However, the team really wanted to build in contrast between the dark and light moments in the game, as if everything is dark, nothing really feels dark [source]
Our hub (like the Normandy in ME or Skyhold in DA:I) is a place called The Lighthouse [source] (Fel note/speculation: I guess this screenshot shows the crew in The Lighthouse? ^^)
Each companion has a very complex backstory, their own problems, and deep motivations. These play out through well-fleshed out character arcs and missions that are unique to them but which are ultimately tied into the larger story [source]
We will make consequential decisions for each character, sometimes affecting who they are in heart-wrenching ways and other times joyously [source]
Decisions from previous DA games will be able to be carried over, it will just work a bit differently this time [source]. The game will not read our previous saves. For stuff pertaining to previous games/choices, players will not have to link their accounts [source]
Characters, companions, romance
Varric is a major character [source]
Every companion is romanceable [source]
BioWare tried to make each character's friendship just as meaningful, regardless of romance [source]
If you don't romance a character, they may end up romancing each other [source]
There will be some great cameos [source]. Some previous characters are woven into the game [source]
Companion sidequests/optional content relating to companions is highly curated when it involves their motivations and experiences [source]
We could permanently lose some companions depending on our choices [source]
Our choices can influence if characters get injured and what they think about us [source]
The bonds Rook forges with companions determine how party members grow and what abilities become available [source]
Each companion has a very complex backstory, their own problems, and deep motivations. These play out through well-fleshed out character arcs and missions that are unique to them but which are ultimately tied into the larger story [source]
We will make consequential decisions for each character, sometimes affecting who they are in heart-wrenching ways and other times joyously [source]
Gameplay, presentation, performance etc
Each class (warrior, rogue, mage) has 3 specializations. The ones for Rogue are duelist, saboteur and Veil ranger [source]. (Fel note/speculation: Veil ranger reminds me of Bellara. Maybe this is her 'spec' too?)
Duelist gameplay involves a sharp combination of dashes, parries, leaps, rapid slashes and combos [source]
Faction-related buffs include being able to hold an extra potion or do extra damage against certain enemies [source]
Individual strands of hair were rendered separately and react remarkably to in-game physics [source]
Playstyle settings include custom, distinct difficulty settings for options as granular as parry windows, meaning "players who might fancy that playstyle but typically struggle with the finer points of combat can give it a go" [source]
Combat mechanics is a mix of real-time action and pause and play. Pausing brings up a radial menu split into 3 sections: companions to the left and right, Rook's skills at the bottom, and a targeting system at the top which helps get in focus on certain enemies. [source]. In the pause system you can queue up your whole party's attacks [source]
Tapping or holding the shoulder button pauses the game, allowing us to stop the action and issue orders to companions [source]
There is a system of specific enemy resistances and weaknesses [source]. Weaknesses and resistances plays a big role in combat and abilities are designed to exploit these accordingly [source]. An example is that "one character might be able to plant a weakening debuff on an enemy, and another enemy might be able to detonate them" [source]
There is a vast skill tree of unlockable options [source]
You can set up specific companions with certain kits, e.g. to tackle specific enemy types, to being more of a support, or as flexible all-rounders [source]
Healing magic returns [source]
Abilities can change together with elaborate results, e.g. one companion using a gravity well attack that sucked enemies together, another using a slowing move to keep them in place, and Rook using a big AOE to catch them all at once [source]
A shortcut system lets you map a few abilities to a smaller pinned menu at the bottom of the screen [source]
There are class-specific resource systems. For example, Rogue has "momentum", which builds up as Rook lands consecutive hits [source]
Each class will always have a ranged option [source]
Rogue Rook can do a sort of 'hip fire' option with a bow, letting you pop off arrows from the waist [source]
Warriors can throw their shield at enemies, and can build an entire playstyle around that using the skill tree [source]
There is light platforming gameplay [source]
The game runs on the latest iteration of the Frostbite engine [source]
The game targets 60 fps
On consoles it will feature performance and quality modes so we can choose our preferred visual fidelity [source]
The game is mission based [source]. Some levels that we go to do open up, some with more exploration than others. "Alternate branching paths, mysteries, secrets, optional content you're going to find and solve." [source]
Everything is hand-touched, hand-crafted and highly curated [source]
Some sidequests and optional content is highly curated, especially when it involves the motivations and experiences of the companions. In others we may be investigating for example a missing family, with an entire open bog environment to search for clues and a way to solve the disappearance [source]
Gameplay, presentation, performance etc continued, after the above bullet list hit a character limit
There is sophisticated animation cancelling and branching. Gameplay is action-like, and the design centers around dodging, countering, and using risk-reward charge attacks designed to break enemy armor layers [source]
The dialogue wheel returns [source]. It gives truncated summaries of the dialogue options rather than the full line that the character is going to say [source]
The bonds Rook forges with companions determine how party members grow and what abilities become available [source]
For stuff pertaining to previous games/choices, players will not have to link their accounts [source]
We can play the game fully offline [source]
There are no microtransactions [source]
The game itself is not as cell-shaded in look as the first trailer looked [source]
[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#lgbtq#video games#long post#longpost#solas#mj best of#mass effect#character death cw#injury cw#update: there is now a part 2 and 3 and 4 of this post#tumblr unfortunately wont let me edit the link to them into this post for some reason thought sorry :<#you will have to browse through my more recent posts to find them#thanku to dreadfutures who also let me know about the accessibility tweet in this comp :>
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#i ramble sometimes#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end
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I'm a fecking edjit.
I keep complaining about this never-ending EDS flare, but I forgot that a mast cell reaction can not only be triggered by pain but also ignite the pain neural pathways and basically become a fecking ouroboros of self-devouring misery.
Pain triggers mast cell degranlation. Mast cell degranulation causes pain.
I'm not just having an EDS flare. I'm still degranulating from last week's migraine episode. I stopped medicating too soon.
Christ on toast.
I hate this disease.
#chronic health tag#trying very hard to be zen over this#because being too emotional will make it worse#but m#I think I know why I kept veering between exhausted unconscious and feeling full of adrenaline#but also the creeping feeling of doom I was dealing with#I thought it was just dread over this week's funeral#but I think I was pre-anaphylacitc this whole week#😱😱😱
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etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex
(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)
Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.
#why is this what makes me post again#tangtho#etho#ethoslab#tango#tangotek#tango tek#bdubs#bdoubleo100#bangtho#< saw that in etho's comments. and. yeah#also consider that tango and bdubs were together first this series and etho is the third wheel#to the fucked up love hate thing they have going on#there's never been something more appreciating and adoring BUT biting each other as tangdubs#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft s10#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#(Sorry but some people have ethubs blinders on but that's so much less interesting to me than the whole.#Yes bdubs is pathetic and will always be at etho's feet. and Yes etho will pity bdubs and want him protected.#but tangtho (!!!) has SO much more to play with...to Me.)#and Why is etho being a tango girl so under-noticed??? lmao. it's there to be noticed All the time#hot mic! hot mic!#but also lowkey dreading ep2 lmao#anyway I'll regret posting this lol#(also I see you asks in my inbox. sorry I haven't replied yet <3 re: s7 oh do I have thoughts! it's where it truly kinda began... I started#forming a reply to you back in May I think but I've been kinda averse to posting/participating in the fandom side for a while. sorry I#stopped being a good place for your tangtho snippets </3 I've still been watching and enjoying the streams and the tango etho joy continues#just haven't really felt like posting)
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#techcore#webcore#liminal#divine machinery#technology#existential thoughts#existentialism#existential dread#clippy#weirdcore#weird art#oddcore#tech#transhumanism#transhumance#transhuman
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more shallan....what is she drawing
#the stormlight archive#shallan davar#art#fanart#actually enjoying wor right now#mostly because there's so much shallan😭😭#the thought of there not being that much shallan in the following books fills me with dread#please...please she's all i care about....#my autistic queen....
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"Life has no limitations, except the ones you make." — Les Brown
My glasses have a screw loose, good lord I don’t know how I possibly managed before I got them. I have them fixed now thank god.-PN
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I won't be able to finish this drawing before the convention, which will take up my next 5 days.. But I want to talk a little about him.. I've been thinking about golems and Frankenstein, and the trans body, projection and misunderstanding, villainization and death.
The concepts of Frankenstein's monster and the golem have been swimming in my head for a while, and their lore intertwining.. The tragedy of existing being seen as a monster no matter how you try,.. And the Golem, a protector of his people and a servant whose only flaw always rang a bit close to home as an an autistic person-- being too literal in execution of his orders. He's tired and struggles with a yearning for death. His havdalah candles will be out.. The first flame of the week, a spark of starting over again-- The flame brings him fear. As much as he's kept himself together he doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing it, he fears failure- but the fear of what may happen if he's gone is even more terrifying. He's lived a long life, and over time the one who formed him has sculpted him to the golem's own wishes.. From nothing to the man he is- but even with that effort, to outsiders he's still a monster. His skin is different shades of clays from varying riverbeds as his people have travelled.. Golems are unformed, imperfect.. but even as outsides can be polished the insides can still be broken
#i have a million thoughts on him but will only put a little ramble i guess#jewish art#trans art#you ever think about how no matter how hard you try as a trans person at the end of the day a large amount of people will still see you#as trans. doesnt matter how acceptable you look#the same thing is with jewishness for me.. it's been like a damage multiplier on top of transness.#it doesnt matter how nice i try to be or how caring. it doesnt matter how many good things i do im still a jew to a large amount of people#even within the queer community haha :') ive felt it so often in queer communities here.#this little guy is gonna be where i store that experience as a trans jew. it goes in the frankengolem#i like the thought of frankenstein's fear of fire being incorporated into him in his fear of both rest and havdalah..#he doesnt feel safe to rest. he dreads the new week. his entire life he spends in dread even if he wants to protect his loved ones#gently pats the top of his head.. this boy's autistic#long text#bare chest#death#cw death#tw death#just in case
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Solavellan ending spoilers/clarification below
I see too many folks upset because they think Lavellan died or sacrificed herself at the end of Veilguard. When that's simply not the case.
We are given no indication that either one of them "died", that was Solas' magic taking them inside the Veil/into the Fade.
He even specifically states to her that "where I am going is terrible." And this time, he allows her to come with him and try to soothe the titans/ease the Blight together.
Is it all sunshine and rainbows for them after this? No. But their story lives on and that's what matters.
Also people complaining he seemed distant with her etc etc did we watch the same scene? Also give the man some breathing room LOL he just almost got his ass handed to him by Elgar'nan and then had Mythal release him from her service. Guy is probably reeling.
This is the in game end credit art of their reunion
"...and the Inquisitor finally reunited with her true love."
#solavellan spoilers#thoughts on Veilguard#veilguard spoilers#solavellan#solas#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#fenharel#solas x lavellan#solas x inquisitor#solas x female lavellan#solas romance#solasmance#dread wolf#mythal#inquisitor lavellan
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Thursday, January 4.
Existential Ben Affleck.
Well it's January 4, after all—indeed it cannot be anything else. And nothing quite distills the suffocating existential weight quite like another image of Ben Affleck trying, and failing, to carry out the most menial tasks of the day. There is a little Ben Affleck in all of us. So once you're done staring at the sad, widening pool of coffee at your feet, come celebrate this gaping abyss of a month with a series of Affleck-inspired gazes into the void.
@batfleckgifs
#today on tumblr#ben affleck#up against it#ben affleck is on the struggle bus#ben affleck coffee#ben affleck smoking.jpg#dunkin donuts#donuts#spillage#misfortune#existentialism#existential dread#existential crisis#existential thoughts#the void
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im so fucking useless
#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society#i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy#literally my existence has no meaning#why am i alive#literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s.#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw depression#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#im exhausted#i hate everything#i hate my self#more than anyone else#i dread having to exist#self h@te#i'm sad#mentally tired#vent#venting#personal
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