#thoughts & analysis and the most i can take from any of it is 'well im glad it did all of that for you but yeah still not seeing it'

[sydmarch]

NOT understanding the hype around longlegs

[kateis-cakeis]

You know, I know it isn't in any way intentional because it's just how casting works,,,,

But something about both Uther and Balinor being left-handed really makes me go mmmmmmmm parallels

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 13/05

@garnetduodecim asked: I always assumed jack spent the first 4 hours in the troll session, before destroying prospit, destroying Aradiabots, there were A LOT of them.

Maybe one of the Aradiabots got in a lucky shot, and was able to tag him with a weaker, non-God Tier variant of her freeze ability. That'd certainly at least delay him.

@morganwick asked: So, you were talking about Aradia "injuring" Vriska (post/704357246751113217) and comparing Vriska to a fairy godmother character (post/722100305374986240)?

@manorinthewoods asked: Serendipity Gospels is by Tamsyn Muir??? Really? Um, that's… hoo. That was one of the fanfics that I didn't end up liking. Might need to revisit that. Side note: 'Doc Scratch's School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents' feels more like something Locked Tomb-esque to me. So that's really… ah. ~LOSS (3/5/24)

I do wonder how similar the Gospels are to TLT's writing style.

Actually, can anyone confirm at what point the fic will be safe to read? I could just wait until I'm reading panels from after its publication date, but if I can check it out before, I will.

@abysswarlock asked: Ooh I’ve had this hypothesis for a while now but you just said something that made me lock in my guess that your classpect is Prince of Doom

The classpect wheel continues to turn!

I'm married to Doom for at least one of my 'sonas, but my Class is still up in the air, since we know even less about them than aspects.

@manorinthewoods asked: As a sort of Part 2 to that sylladex comment - how do you think the Sylladex works? Do you think that Homestuck will go into more detail about Sylladices, or do you think they'll fade into the background as different aspects of the magic system come to the fore? ~LOSS (24/4/24)

I think the latter is a lot more likely. Most aspects (lol) of Homestuck's magic system are there to serve the story first and foremost. As much as I'd love the comic to turn into a treatise on Sburb deeplore, it really doesn't feel like something Hussie would be interested in doing.

The story won't really suffer without, say, a detailed explanation of every facet of alchemy - I just really like speculating, because I'm all about shit like that.

@heliotropopause asked: What are your thoughts on Homestuck's translation convention(s)? As an example, take page 2251, line "Arrivederci, Megido.": Is she writing in something close enough to Earth English to scan as such to the reader, no translation necessary? Is Vriska saying a word in Troll Italian, which gets translated to Earth Italian? Is she expressing a sentiment in her usual language that's best translated as the word "arrivederci" as it's used in English? Has Doc Scratch secretly been translating all cross-species communication we've seen so far?

Vriska's arrivederci seems diegetic to me. If we inherited English from Alternia, it makes sense that some of our other languages might come from there too.

tl;dr: Troll Italy is real 🇮🇹

Anonymous asked: im not one to dip my toes into The Vriscourse but this one piece of analysis i really liked is that vriska is jealous of tavros, that hes had a much easier life compared to her and that hes allowed to be more of a wimp while she has to be the toughest fuck alive or else shell die

It's only one piece of the Vriska-Tavros puzzle, but it's an important one. She'll refuse to acknowledge it to the end, though, because the idea of being jealous of Tavros is disgusting to her.

@obscureaeguran asked: Are there any current theories of yours that you want to be wrong about?

Confident as I am in my Vriska death theory, I don't actually want to be right.

I really like Vriska's character, and I want to see her grow past the worldview that's preventing her from finding peace. I just don't think that's likely, given her current trajectory.

Anonymous asked: 'In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes?' well per the beta version of homestuck (when hussie wanted to make the whole thing in flash before deciding against it) they were all going to be 10 instead, i think this is the much better option!

How young can we go, anyway?

AU where the Homestuck Babies aren't sent to Earth at all, and just start playing immediately.

@manorinthewoods asked: Have you played Deltarune? ~LOSS (9/4/24)

I have! I was actually replaying it on day one of the liveblog - hence the several references I made to it at the time. That feels forever ago, now.

@bladekindeyewear asked: Jade changed pretty drastically as a person after her dreamself died, if you think about it— demanding Feferi stop using her quirk in chat, standing up to the trolls for the first time, getting angry, to such an extent that Karkat was so surprised that it turned his opinion of her around completely in a single conversation. Even forcing a password system to keep talks linear instead of using cloud visions to do everything out of order. This doesn’t just feel to me like dream Jade being a “different individual”, it also feels like a metaphorical confrontation between her NEW self and her OLD self…

I think it's both.

Jade's been through a lot in the last couple of hours, and she really isn't the same girl who died on Prospit.

Being an oracle of Skaia's visions led to disaster. They showed her that John's Dream Self would awaken, leading her to believe she was finally going to meet him, but neglected to mention that she'd die the moment he opened his eyes - or that Prospit would die alongside her.

As a result, the new Jade seems to have made a decision to completely reject all prophetic information. She'll supply the minimum possible intel to her past self, and no more.

It's clear her Dream Self's death was a catalyst for a pretty dramatic shift in her worldview. She's angry - at the trolls, at herself, and at the world that betrayed her trust. She's tired of being jerked around, and her tumultuous emotions are making her rather testy. Basically, she's sick of all the bullshit, and she won't take it from anyone anymore.

Jadesprite has experienced the same catalyst, and has also come to mistrust the clouds, but for different reasons.

Jade rejects prophecies, in part, because she doesn't want to be deceived - but Jadesprite rejects them out of sheer hopelessness. She just doesn't care anymore.

They both have the same trauma, but they're dealing with it in very different ways - and at this point, I really do consider them to be different people.

And then on a metaphorical level, Jadesprite represents the 'silly', absent-minded childhood self that got Jade into this mess.

I think this taunt from Karkat hit very, very close to home for her, and I'm sure she associates the traits he described with her idyllic days on Prospit. It's part of why Dream Jade is such a perfect target for her fury.

@spyril4132 asked: i beg to differ on the entry item similarities only applying to prospit. iirc, rose shatters a bottle, and dave hatches an egg; both involve breaking open some sort of "shell", and neither are associated with a larger object, which could be seen as similar types of items. (while jade does break a piñata, she does so by shooting it, not by splitting it apart)

It's true that Rose and Dave's object's have some physical similarities, but John and Jade are both summoning the same tree, which feels like a much stronger connection.

Rose and Dave's entry cards also summoned auxiliary items, but they were different - a cabinet and bird, respectively. From where I'm sitting, the link between the two Prospit items does seem unique.

@skelekingfeddy asked: what herptiles would sally and sahlee have as their consorts? i feel like a monitor lizard would fit for one of them…maybe losas has like, turtle or tortoise consorts, what with their long-livedness and the wise sagely vibe and all.

I was thinking pretty much the same thing for Sahlee. Let's say they're Galápagos tortoises, because the Sage gives me Oogway vibes.

For Sally's Consorts, I'm going to get really funky and say they're a type of pterosaur.

@sparten4ever92 asked: The HS version of Megalovania is slept on way too much, the Vriska guitar adds so much to it that the UT version just doesn't have. @sanctferum asked: Finally, MeGaLoVania by Toby Fox (feat. Joren "Tensei" deBruin on guitar)! Would you say that Tavros had an…unpleasant chronological progression? (btw I do love the bit of Spider's Claw that plays during the Vriska segment, which is (obviously) unique to this Megalovania) also, the audiovisual style of homestuck flashes is just really cool imo @mimescantscream asked: You have no idea how long we've waited for the Megalovania

This version of Megalovania was a great choice for Aradia's finest hour - or at least, her finest hour so far.

It's moments like this which are why I decided to stop listening to the albums in advance. If I hadn't first heard Aradia's Megalovania in this flash, it wouldn't have hit the way it did.

@elkian asked: MEGALOVANIA TIME BAYBEEEE! Also, let's go back to that theory you had about Aradia getting more alive, because you NAILED it. @iris-in-the-dark-world asked: i am so excited to see aradia again and finally as herself :33<

She's fucking BACK, baby!

Seeing Aradia smiling for real after all this time is genuinely heartwarming - and with her time-stop attack, she's almost unkillable. It'd take some absolute nonsense to take Aradia out of the picture again, and I think she'll be sticking around for a long time. Hopefully forever.

@grippingtraverse asked: notice any similarities during megalovania between aradia vs. jack & sans vs. player? 0u0

The best I can come up with is that Aradia and Frisk are both time travelers whose signature color is red.

Or maybe Jack is the Frisk analogue, since he's the one wiping out all life in the session, and Aradia is the last foe he faces.

@captorations asked: please consider, with this new information about aradia, what it could mean for her literary descendant dulcie septimus. please also keep considering this as you continue and see more of aradia. i am very normal about both of these characters

Ooh, they do have similar vibes, don't they? They're both doomed, they're strongly associated with death, and they both have a cheerful side that comes out when you don't expect it to.

@duorogue asked: "You have to give Nepeta some credit. The literal first thing she did after this traumatic murder was log into Trollian and report on Jack’s activities." To be fair to her, when I have a bad nightmare the first thing I do is log onto discord

nepeta hopping on mic at 2am to complain about the hat man (the hat man is doc scratch)

@absinthe-and-alabaster asked: when the writ keeper was introduced as fifth exile you mentioned that it was a little fucked up how the king was the only prospitian that was preserved - i just wanted to remind you that no, he wasn't ! on page 1974 we see all the other prospitians that were exiled with the white queen on her ship (including ms paint!) WQ just left them to go wander the desert

I'd actually forgotten about that. So much happened during the Act 4 ending that it completely slipped my mind. I even missed Ms. Paint!

Anonymous asked: Hey, as you noticed, the Dave Coin Split is a plot hole. We've never seen the timeline split because of someone's choice before. Compare to John flying to the seventh gate, there weren't two timelines based on his choice, the timeline only changed because Dave came back from the original timeline and changed it. And of course, like you said in the tags, Terezi shouldn't have been able to communicate with Doomed Dave, including to tell him the result of the FL1P. Have you noticed any other plot holes or things that don't seem to make sense?

While I see what you're saying, it might not necessarily be a plot hole! Certainly the Dave Coin Timeline was created in a different manner to Davesprite's - but that might just mean there are multiple ways to split a timeline, or that there are certain requirements that must be fulfilled for a decision to spawn one.

Because of things like that, it's hard to tell whether something's actually a plot hole, or if it'll eventually make sense in light of later reveals.

This is particularly true for aspects of the plot involving time travel, like the one you just described. Like, remember before I learned about Doomed Timelines, when I thought Davesprite broke Homestuck's predestination rules?

Anonymous asked: You said "God Tiering is just another way to inhabit your Dream Self," so do you think the things that Dream Selves can do (such as Jade growing extra arms) can be done by God Tiers?

I never really thought about that!

I think it's definitely possible. God Tier bodies can fly the same way that Dream Selves can, so other powers might transfer, too. Maybe the only reason Vriska, Aradia and John aren't shapeshifters is because Jade hasn't taught them to how to dream up extra limbs.

She might be one of the only Dream Selves who've learned how to shapeshift this fluidly. Logging thousands of hours on Prospit has its perks!

[mecachrome]

i swear there is something about landoscar that makes me insane like i got into this fandom and have liked a lot of ships like maxiel, carlando, lestappen etc but there is just something different about landoscar??? idk if it's the dynamic between the two?? or if it's oscar's personality that makes their interactions feel genuine but i would love your analysis or thoughts on this cause WHYYYYYYY have these boys taken over my brain like so??? i swear other ships are literally out here hugging like mad and saying sexual innuendos to each other etc etc and im unfazed but i see oscar and lando have the slightest touch or glance at each other and im feral foaming at the mouth lmfaooooo !!!

omggg anon i answered an ask here about why 814's personalities appeal to Me Personally but maybe i shouldn't get too into that... 😔

anyway idk whether this makes any sense but perso with some rpf ships i find that the myth somewhat outweighs the canon or vice versa — i.e. the "potential narrative" of a ship is really compelling but it doesn't quite exist as it's written in canon, or a ship doesn't have that many compelling extra narratives other than the existing relationship that's strongly visible in canon. and i think these are all great and fun to ship, but i guess as EYE see it it sort of feels like 814 balance those aspects fairly well? like they have a dece amount of sweet and interesting interactions with each other, but obviously they're not best friends and there's enough of this like, sense of repression + the fact of their personalities being not fully diametric but still different enough that it feels like you can take them in a lot of directions. i really like that landoscar aren't quite foils but also aren't "twins" either as some people say, and oscar despite being so lauded as mature is still inspired by lando in many ways and shares the same sarcastic humor as him and enjoys his presence a lot. they work because they aren't opposites but there are enough crucial aspects that separate them so you can make a lot of tropes and aus fit them. which isn't to say you can't do the same with the other ships you mentioned but... idk i'm also just biased because i'm an oscarybroTM so i don't really think about 90% of the grid so i'm fundamentally less invested HLKSDFHLH

also i've mentioned this b4 but my favorite hockey ship (2124) is literally the hockey version of oscar (dorky californian sportsnerd who brings his gaming setup on road trips to play fifa) x his dry finnish linemate whom he doesn't even interact with off the ice but ON the ice they have the most electric wordless chemistry and are constantly aware of where the other is and play beautifully together and get super awkward when reporters try to talk to them about it. so like to me unspoken collaboration IS a beautiful and worthy thing to rpf about.... *__* so clearly i enjoy teammate repression and awkwardness in my ships already but then 814 are kind of even more insane because they're less myth than 2124 so there's SO much to chew on. at least for moi 🥰 icl i'm a little bit anti-pda so constructing intricate rituals to look longingly at other men and laugh at their bad jokes is more compelling to me than straight up skinship/bgp... i was just telling @inchidentally whose analysis i feel like might be up your alley that i don't rly get why people act like oscar's "heart eyes" toward lando are "pr" (???) because from everyth we've been told and see about him it's so clear that he's always been just himself and the level of... unguarded emotion he displays around lando isn't something you can just make up imo. even if it's just little things and they go off and do completely different things off-track (which again i kind of enjoy. like romanze can be guy who goes off to party with models the day after a race x guy who's in bed gearing up his 10th joke about getting his wisdom teeth removed) it makes them rly fun to watch ;__;

[sillyyuserr]

Another mini terukane analysis^^ (chapter 71 volume 15)

so we’ve all seen the picture of teru’s hand on akane’s head right? Seen it, loved it, yadayada

but if you actually look into it, this is so cute.

i mean for one, thats his sword hand. From previous panels we’ve seen him use his right hand on his sword. While he is pictured with it in his left, when he actually fights, its in his right (old vs recent)

“what about that being his sword hand” well, if you couldnt tell, theres a literal demon right infront of them, so he must be on high guard right? nope its in his left LMAO

His better/dominant/more skilled hand is in the most gentlest way, comforting akane, rather than fighting the demob off. Almost saying, he’s more important right now, akane’s comfort is more important than his own safety, reserving his better hand for him, rather than the demon thing

then after he hits it, it shatters to glass, fading away. His face changes to that of a worried expression, and quickly turns around, takes akane by the little of his shirt he has left, and starts dragging him

Clearly doesn’t give him any time to react, seemingly extremely worried ab something. but as the chapter progresses, we see supernaturals fading away such as hanako, and mitsuba. The bells signaling the start of the severance

We can obviously put two and two together and realize teru thought akane was gonna fade away 😭 MANS WAS SO WORRIED

He was happy to leave aoi, defenseless, alone, in a realm he cannot reach, surrounded by countless evil entities, with very little time to save her, while she was clearly extremely unstable, with his only way of knowing if she dissipated or not being a little bell bracelet that he doesn’t even wear

yet he immediately turned around, DRAGGE him/gave him ZERO time to get up, rushed him to the clock keepers asap without akane even being able to react or anything. Like gosh dude can you be more obvious.

him being that worried about akane is so interesting to me, because like, why? Shouldnt he hate him for liking his so called “crush” (aoi). Since he’s planning on going back and saving aoi why cant he just get akane when he’s going back for aoi? Why go through the effort? Lets think of a few reasons why

Reason 1. Calling back to when he stopped them from kissing, he mightve realized if he’s alone with her there, they’d sit on the train and bam they’re dead, gone forever. Akane’s whole thing is he loves Aoi with his whole spirit, and all he needs IS her, dying wouldn’t matter to him; because she’s dying too.

Reason 2. Maybe he at one point, had the idea of overall just leaving her there. Giving her the bell bracelet as a false sense of hope so he doesn’t seem like a bad person. And if akane’s sent there, he has to get him, and of course they’ll be together there so he’ll have to get aoi aswell. Why he might want to leave aoi? No clue but its an idea that came to mind so i put it down to fill space

Reason 3. Maybe he cant do it alone. He’s always been the “i fight alone” type, but when akane’s there he’s never ‘fighting alone’. So maybe he doubts his ability to save her by himself, and wants akane by his side throughout the whole thing

Reason 4. Or maybe he cares about him and/or maybe might like him a little more than he should

i wanna write one ab what happened with teru + akane JUST before the severance SO BAD THERES LITERALLY SM I HAVE TO SAY but i lost all motivation and there being too much is both good and bad 😭 (bad as in im too lazy to do it)

[desire-mona]

why i think richard cameron is Like That

the long awaited cam analysis post of sorts!!!

so to start off, let me acknowledge the obvious: CAMERON SUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIS FRIENDS. THAT WAS MEAN AND SHITTY OF HIM, HE DESERVED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND HE DESERVED TO HAVE HIS FRIENDS STOP LIKING HIM. this post is just to paint a more nuanced picture of the motivations and reasoning behind his cam-ness. also i feel the need to address that my love for dylan kussman HEAVILY influences my opinion on cameron, so please keep that in find when u read this. if my bias shows at any point then feel free to offer your perspective, odds are i'll find a way to agree :3

-

lets start at the very beginning of the movie, his first appearance with the tradition banner. this obviously wasn't anything i rly thought of in depth on my first watch, but on my second watch i was like oh Hm.

tradition, of course, is a BIG aspect of welton that the movie repeatedly emphasises, drawing lots of attention to how nothing changes. i find cam holding the tradition banner especially interesting in relativity to neil holding the excellence banner specifically. cam very clearly tries his best to embody the rules of welton (more on this later) and very rarely deviates from those rules, although he does on occasion (again - more on this later.) but despite his attempts to be the manifestation of those values are never met with any praise, unlike neil. that's not to say that neil isn't deserving of that praise though, absolutely he is deserving, but in terms of academics specifically, cam's pretty up there too! this part doesnt exactly tie in directly with the rest of the post, but just thought id point it out first to add a layer to the rest of my thoughts.

how i view cam's character arc is something that's framed in a way thats not supposed to be viewed as an arc, i suppose (interesting considering the tradition thing hm). of course thats inaccurate as he does in fact have in arc, it just small in relation to the more forefront-ed poets. and it makes him ultimately less likeable, so.

during a majority of the movie (pre neil death) cam is known as the guy who doesnt like to break rules, that much is obvious, but in the end he still does with the dead poets society. now the reasoning behind that isnt actually touched on in a direct way, so there are a few different ways you can view that. i'll touch on a few different reasonings that me, @pencileraser1, and @good--merits-accumulated came up with.

my reasoning - i see cam's willingness to break the rules as cam holding his friends' idea of him on a high pedestal, constantly taking into consideration what they think. not wanting his friends to consider him a loser or boring in any way, he joins despite the anxiety surrounding being caught. not without fuss though, he does still outwardly talk about how this isnt something they should be doing. all this and yet he does in fact join, AND he doesnt rat anyone out for a majority of the movie (even after the call from god dealio!!!) fomo, basically.

nick's reasoning (found in this post) - he just wanted his friends to be safe!!! joining to (in my view) keep them in line in terms of safety as well as. i guess. provide the reminder of the consequences i suppose?? nick im opening up the floor to u if u wanna delve into this point more cuz ur definitely able to provide better reasoning n such. if asking nick to talk abt things was a full time job.

tristan's reasoning (discussed in dms) - cam's need for authority. tristan brought up a very good headcanon/ theory/ something or other that cam is the type to need constant direction or authority, and i totally agree! (reason for that will - again - come up later.) now this culminates in a couple different ways. 1) most obviously, adhereing (ehh) to the rules of welton, and 2) his relationship with the rest of the poets. due to the size of the welton student body, a lack of individual direction from teachers and staff is almost inevitable. so to fill that gap, he adheres to his friends' """"""rules"""""", and joins the poets. floor is open to you as well if you'd like to elaborate further, tristan :3

my thoughts of cam being super focused on his friends' idea of him actually started as a bit. i believe i made a hc post about smoking weed?? maybe?? and said something along the lines of "cam would smoke even if he doesnt want to, not cuz of peer pressure from his friends but more of a self imposed peer pressure. thinking its rude/ cringe/ uncool to turn down smthn like this bc all the rest of the guys r doing it." but after a rewatch of the scene in dps where theyre all walking outside, it started having some merit in my mind! in that scene, keating does a sort of imitation of cameron when he first starts to walk, something like "am i doing this right?", "am i walking weird?", etc. (paraphrasing ofc.) so i sort of took that aspect and applied it to other parts of his character and found out that oh, this actually kinda makes sense!

speaking of keating and his lessons, lets talk carpe diem.

now my interpretation of cam is that he doesn't exactly *want* to apply carpe diem in his life, seeing it as an antithesis of the welton values. only joining the poets for the reasons mentioned above. however, he does indeed apply it in my eyes, but more as a fucked up reversal and dickish version which eventually ends up in him deservedly getting punched. now is this how keating intended him to interpret carpe diem? ehhhhhhhhhhhhh,, it's complicated, let's talk about the context a bit.

this part is more theorising than anything, so take it with a few grains of salt if u wish.

cam quite obviously is a pretty big stickler for the rules, which i believe is a result of outside influence. id like to thank @lovech1ld for reminding me of this! cam's parents/ grandparents/ guardians are noticably older than the other poets, which, in my eyes, makes a heavy emphasis on following the rules make a lot more sense (respect your elders type shit.) so this, combined with the inherent fear of authority that most of the boys seem to have, makes him a chronic rule follower. but it goes further than that, after these ideas have been pushed for so long, i feel that cameron's started to mix up his own personal morals and values with the morals and values of welton, viewing those two things as one in the same. here's where that starts to muddy things up in terms of carpe diem.

i interpret cam's finking AS his application of carpe diem in his life, but as more of a subconscious choice. now you may be thinking "hey. mona. what?" and i UNDERSTAND! but here's my reasoning behind that. as i mentioned/ theorised before, cam has a very high opinion of his friends' idea of him, but this does eventually change after neil's passing. his subconscious carpe diem application, to put it into proper words, was a way to stick up for himself and his beliefs despite what all his friends think. again, being brought about by neils death, since he didn't choose to rat anyone out when the opportunity first presented itself during the call from god assembly. and i dont think cam sticking up for himself is inherently a bad thing!! but! since cam's idea of his morals are so clouded by welton's, this isn't actually sticking up for himself, this is just being a tattletale.

he did provide other reasoning for doing so to the poets of course, so lets talk a bit about that too. he says something along the lines of "i did it for neil" and "this is what he wouldve wanted" which is obviously bullshit, objectively. but i don't think he saw it that way, i think he genuinely believed thats what he thought neil would've wanted, as stupid of him as that was. obviously thats not what he wouldve wanted AT ALL, and why he actually thought that is FAR beyond me. but i really dont think he wouldve turned anyone in if he didnt genuinely believe it, especially considering the fact that he was PART of the dead poets. even if he was the one to confess, im sure he likely got punished as well. (which also couldve been what he wanted? tristan this is an opening to also discuss catholic cam on here bc ur reasonings for that were INCREDIBLE.)

on top of this, i really dont think that cam actually understood the weight of what turning in everyone would do. now i will say right away, hes not dumb, he knew that keating would be fired and charlie would be expelled, and that alone should've turned him away if he really wanted to honor neil. as i said before we started, he absolutely deserved to be punched and lose his friends, that was a dick move that ended up ruining two lives for a long long time, if not forever.

but.

due to him grieving, his rules = morals shtick, and fear of authority, i think he turned in the poets without giving actual, proper thought into what the consequences of that would be. which manifests itself both in the film with the final scene.

in the last scene where all of the boys stand on the desk, we see multiple shots of cam looking around and looking at everyone standing. and we (or at least i) can definitely see some sort of consideration to join them!!! he of course doesnt, and ends up choosing to sit, looking QUITE ashamed. this too can he interpreted a couple ways, either as him being embarrassed that his peers are doing this, or as him wanting to join them but knowing that he was the reason keating was fired. knowing that it would be incredibly disingenuous, even if he stood as a way to sort of apologise to keating + the poets for what he did and show that he regrets his actions, he stayed seated. and was so. so. mad at himself for it.

now i don't remember where i heard this so im not sure how to go about fact checking, but i believe the choice to keep cam seated was ultimately dylan kussman's?????? but dont take my word as gospel in terms of that, i very well could be wrong.

BUT! this gives me an opportunity to talk abt how much i love dylan kussman!!!!! nick vocalised the thought before i was able to in one of his posts, but considering the fact that i agree wholeheartedly, i'll reiterate it. i see rsl and ethan hawke constantly be praised (deservedly!) for their understanding of the inner workings of their characters, especially reflected in the desk set scene. and while YES ABSOLUTELY, i think dylan needs this praise as well. dylan was the PERFECT casting choice for cameron and i will shout that from the rooftops until my voice goes hoarse. so so so many of his little mannerisms, facial expressions, ways of speaking, soooo many etceteras are just so. so. CAMERON! even the most comprehensive directorial choices cant top an actor's inherent understanding of a character and reflection of that in their performance. good god! i think my new dream in life is to ask dylan about how he came about properly embodying cameron and his process in doing so.

anyway

with my dylan fanfare over, that about wraps up my thoughts on cam in terms of the film itself. HOWEVER. i have lots and lots of thoughts after a long convo with tristan about certain headcanons and post-canon theories and whatever. will probably touch on those but i dont really have my thoughts properly collected enough, so that wont be until later.

as per usual with these types of posts, everyone else is welcome to add any input they may have. cam is one of my fav things to talk abt in terms of dps so i will eat up every single little thing. thank u for reading!!!!

[hopefull-mindset]

Finally understanding Beast Mori (as Asagiri intended)

Hello everyone, I am hoping you’ll be nice about me talking about Mori for two seconds and express my thoughts about such a guy like this. This isn’t going to be some fancy analysis picking apart stuff like I’d usually want to or even me addressing every trait he has because I definitely don’t go into everything. This is me finally being at peace with Mori’s humanity.

Before you say anything, I’d just like to share my own peace of comprehension. So if you were similarly confused the way I was, I think you’d appreciate this (Or if you’re looking for a different approach on Mori).

Im sure most of you have read the manga adaptation, so just to let you know, I am going to be using passages from the official Light Novel translation and if anyone needs it, I can send it to them!

For anyone who’s decided to read, hello! Nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ve all shared the same confusion when confronted with Beast Mori’s difference in personality and approach. Thoughts like “Why is he so much nicer?” Or “Why does he care much more about how kids are treated, when he himself has treated kids the same way he describes in the past?”

How could this person be the same guy who was Mori the Port Mafia Boss? The war veteran who used Yosano the way he did? So we came up with many idea of why he’s different to justify it, but here’s the thing: Mori is the same person he always was, this is a universe where everything is the same, but different where Dazai chooses to intervene.

After a few days, I was able to recognize it but I couldn’t hold myself to acknowledge it. It’s hard to see a man who represents the dark, the Port Mafia, to the Armed Detective Agency’s light. I couldn’t wrap my head that such a controlling, manipulative man could have humanity like the rest of the characters.

Why was this so hard for me to see? Well two reasons— the fandom and how the anime cuts down Mori’s emotions when adapting canon material. This happens to Dazai too, but people are much more willing to talk about it compared to Mori. Now the fandom really does love blaming everything on Mori and that’s not the most constructive thing to do when talking about abuse narratives. I can’t blame anyone for taking this route when it came to Mori because of Asagiri’s poorly thought out choice with him…. we all know what I’m talking about. Elise.

However, I need some of you to understand that abuse narratives are never as simple as “oh, it’s all this persons fault because they’re a horrible person, so [character] is resolved from any guilt or responsibility”. This not only dumbs down the situation and seriousness of it, by mischaracterizing the abuser, you’re also mischaracterizing the victim as well and what they’ve gone through. You’re putting their story in jeopardy.

Bungou Stray Dogs is a story about human beings, morality, and what it all means. Mori, and in turn Fukuzawa, are important to understand Bungou Stray Dogs because they are in two pinochle positions that start this discussion of Morality. I am baffled that a story like this, one that approaches these topics with so much appreciation for humanity and nuance, has a fandom that doesn’t want to talk about what it has to offer.

Asagiri’s poorly thought out writing decision of a joke is going to have lasting effects with how Mori is going to be approached forever and I see this, but I think the little girl jokes are the least important thing to talk about because they have as much impact as the Tanizaki siblings do. He’s also written to be not a good person either, so you can dislike him easily, but how many of these characters are traditionally good people? Kouyou, for example, is not a “good person” and emotionally abusive in example to how she treated Kyouka. That doesn’t stop people from liking her friendship with Chuuya and making content with her.

So this attitude toward Mori had me lost when it came to him because I could see how much thought Asagiri puts into writing him the same way he does with so many, but I’ve seen so many disregard his humanity that I had no way to express any of my thoughts to sort out what to think about through anyone else when faced with Beast Mori. Everyone was as lost I was, and the people that weren’t never explained it in a way I could break that barrier.

So what finally made me wrap my head around Mori? It was exactly one conversation I had with a friend and it wasn’t even about Beast Mori in particular, it was just about Mori and his poor humanity while navigating how to lead. Everything just clicked with that.

(Dazai, Chuuya, age Fifteen)

This right here is where Mori tells us what he thinks his position means after the struggling we visibly see him go through. Is it an inherently correct conclusion to make? No, but does it make sense as someone who’s a leader of a huge, dangerous underground criminal organization? Yes, it does.

We have no backstory on Mori, but his poor humanity is easy to explain when he’s been in positions that require him to disregard his own and everyone else’s humanity for years now. As someone who’s seen war up close and a physician, these jobs require him to take control of the other person. Well in his mind at least, he sees these jobs and chooses to the route that’s most efficient.

It’s never positioned to be for himself though, he doesn’t take glee in what he does for self serving purposes, it’s always for the country, the city, the organization. His thought process is never the power hungry yearning we see everyone mistake it for. It’s never that he wants it, it’s that he needs it for everything to go well.

That’s exactly how he treats Yosano because even though it’s creepy to base your abilities looks on a little girl, that doesn’t stop him from seeing her use before her age and humanity.

His clinical utilitarianism is his core trait but also most disliked one from what I can tell in the fandom, and people tend to misinterpret it to make the more non-favorable view of him. But again, he’s not supposed to be the greatest guy ever and you can understand where these traits started forming. And again, to paraphrase another’s words: he’s cunning, but not power hungry.

He’s also not disliked by his subordinates and actually respected, he respectively enjoys the company, but there’s a mixed answer to that and that it is… nobody is going to listen to you if you don’t treat them with decency. Why would you expect a tool to work if you break them? One of his earliest lessons he learned with Yosano and leadership.

(Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen)

For example, we all know this scene is manipulation. He’s baiting Chuuya with information while still treating the teenager with respect and enough honesty to form a bond. Chuuya is perfectly aware that he’s being used in the present and in the past, but he respects Mori as a leader objectively after his own considered failure and lack of control over the sheep, even if he didn’t consider himself one. I don’t think this honesty comes from nowhere because that quote, “only a Diamond can polish a Diamond”, came from Natsume in reference to himself and Fukuzawa.

He sees himself and Fukuzawa in Soukoku fondly, but I tend to rethink this quote time to time because at first it comes off as a quote about partnership and building off of each other’s good qualities to perfect their own, but the way Mori uses it here feels as though it’s positioned to mean that one of them comes out perfected and the other weared down. Pretty competitive if you think about it.

(Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST)

We’re finally at the part you’ve been waiting for guys! So what was my point for analyzing canonverse Mori? So as I said before, these are the exact same guy and all that word jumble? That was an extended version of what was communicated with me to finally get what was going on with Mori in this universe and why he’s suddenly in an orphanage.

Now I couldn’t tell what was going through Beast Dazai’s mind and where this decision came from instead of actually killing him like the rumor’s implied, but I can come close. I think that Beast Dazai recognized this potential of change either from the multitude of universes he was able to witness or recognized it in his own considering canonverse Dazai never does anything against Mori (even if he visibly dislikes him).

Possibility is one thing, the why is another. It was either that he saw potential and good that could come out of this in the long run, Mori’s intelligence and expertise still proves usefulness, less dangerous for Oda in the long run if he let Mori stay there instead of the Mafia, or all three.

I can say for sure though that this is better for Mori because after the years of being in atmospheres that require so much of him intelligently and exempt of any emotion involved for the sake of efficiency, being able to rekindle his humanity where nothing is expected of him except to raise kids in a non-exploitative context sounds really freeing to me. Considering he’s been there for 4 years, I find the development understandable.

Okay I’m hearing what you guys are saying again, “What about him saying he wanted to save Dazai? That doesn’t seem like typical Mori.” And I’m gonna say something really controversial: Well maybe he did.

Really though, I think he did care about Dazai and not because he saw a child struggling (think about Yosano and Q for 3 seconds), but because he saw himself in Dazai, which ultimately changed way more about their relationship than you guys think. There’s a lot of comparisons to Yosano and I understand where they come from because I think there’s a lot you can see similarities in, but Dazai is not purely a tool for Mori the way she was.

The avoidance of letting him die do come from his use and overall importance to the original plan of becoming the new boss, but I don’t think he would’ve left Dazai alone like that for 4 whole years after leaving the mafia if he didn’t care in some way way. What strikes me the most is how Asagiri decided to add “the man who raised Dazai”.

For Beast Mori, I think he’s had enough time to actually feel guilt and regret for Dazai as a person like a normal human being does. Oh I guess Elise is important too. Her aging up just meant that Mori has become less controlling and not like the little girl who he literally sees as a tool since kids are easier to manipulate. Can’t bring that energy to an orphanage, nope!

There’s better stuff out there about Mori that I think if you’re more open to thinking about Mori after this, you should check it out, these are just my thoughts recently. To end this off, here are two links to Asagiri’s own thoughts on Mori.

[k4txlulzz]

(warning: this is a random late night rant y'all , feel free to not take this seriously its just my scrambled thoughts lol)

vanitas no carte fandom is a lot more chaotic than i remembered it to be😭guys what happened i just came back to see how the story progressed (BTW MY FAVE SCENES GOT ANIMATED SO WELL !! the eng dub is so good too)

okay so! vanitas is my favorite character and i truly think he has a good, selfless heart. but yk what? that kiss scene with him and jeanne keeps popping up in my head. but then i remember that if i consider that moment SA i'd have to consider ALOT more romance scenes in the story as that too and i just don't think there can be that amount of **intentional** assault scenes from the creator ?😭

folks have brought up the cabin scene and??? that just confused me. because i never even thought of that possibility while looking at the panels or the scene. people hate vanitas or vanijeanne or even jeanne because of this kinda stuff and . while im conflicted and even uncomfortable(the kiss scene specifically) i also believe that the creator would not make a character SA anyone like that and make it seem romantic. i see this as: if its shown to be cute or romantic and does not show negative mental consequences of the characters after the event, it was not **intended** to be assault. (edit: while vanitas is shown to be malicious in this scene, the incident gets brought up like once after and doesn't really turn into an obstacle in vanitas' and jeanne's relationship which is what made me think this) basically, if it's shown to be harmless, it was most likely intended as that. and i understand the issue with that one weird kiss scene, i don't like it either. its just that vanitas happened to be my favorite before i learnt all this and that made me try and look for an explanation or some sort of evidence that maybe this is a "suspend your disbelief" moment but i dunno. i just desperately don't wanna think that a character and one of the dynamics that mean a lot to me have gross, scary implications . the creator wouldn't write jeanne or vanitas to do something so horrible because those are some of the characters she wants fans to be invested in and that can't be done if those characters are assaulters😭 the kiss scene still does ick me though and i think the moment should have been done differently? in any case, i generally think that media literacy is something every fan needs to have. because otherwise we back ourselves into a corner and "criticize problematic stuff" ourselves into viewing every character as a terrible person who should not be liked

but then again, this IS just my opinion and, to be clear, i don't support assault being brushed off in any media

[edit 2: i also acknowledge that i may be leaning towards copium with this one but that doesn't mean i don't recognize the creator's attempt to create a complex dynamic and characters; i just feel like because of this one scene a lot of people hate vanitas and brush off his dynamic with jeanne entirely which is sad because they have a lot of stuff thats worth getting interested in. i just wanted to make it clear that this post is just me ranting about something and not meant to be taken as a proper analysis ^^🙏🏼 it has also been a while since i looked at VNC stuff and may have gotten a bit rusty. i acknowledge that SA may perhaps be a significant part of the storytelling in VNC but i don't really want to think about those moments for personal reasons and especially when it is shown to be done by a character that really does mean a lot to me:) i enjoyed reading the comments i got on this post and am genuinely quite grateful for them]

[project-sekai-facts]

Sorry if this spoils you um... TSUKASA FOCUS!! What are your thoughts on what might happen? Based on the event description and then bunny plush being w tsukasa in the untrained.. im inclined to think because he's been cast as a minor role, he's kind of. like. What if i cant cause many smiles because of where i am.. and then meikos like you silly goose. you're the brightest star in someones universe and the bunny is there to remind him . AUGHH. AUGH

dw daichan already spoiled it on the stream last month lmao. Oh this event looks so interesting and frankly!! it's perfect for tsukasa's character arc!!! sorry about the excess of exclamation marks i'm excited about the possibility that people might finally understand him after this event and finally free me from writing analysis posts about him haha.

him being a minor part is literally what he needs to improve his acting. he's always either the lead or a major character, taking a step back is like another slap of realism for him and honestly, it might even be better for him than the challenges he's faced before when he struggled with lead roles. because he can't always be the lead, that just isn't a possibility. no matter how good an actor is they will not be the lead in everything they star in. he's pushed his limits to get lead roles before (Torpe, Rio, also the secondary lead Bartlett), so i think approaching a minor role is going to be a whole new experience for him.

I'm especially interested in the fact he's tasked with making the character feel real because we all know what that means: some good old fashioned Tsukasa unpacking his emotions. we don't know yet exactly what this minor character is doing, so i can't really make any guesses as to what is meant to feel real about it since we don't know their motivations and conflicts yet, but i get the feeling it will play into the fact that Tsukasa got the minor role, like how Rio played into his weaknesses and Torpe connected to his younger self.

As I said, Tsukasa is pretty much always the lead or some significant role. In this scenario as well when what he’s trying to do is improve his acting, such a minor role could feel like nothing. I think those feelings (be it annoyance or disappointment or whatever it may be in the story) are somehow going to play a part in how he has to make such a minor character feel real.

Also I think one of the aspects Tsukasa struggles with most is understanding the characters he plays. With Torpe he couldn’t relate to him and therefore struggled to play the role because he couldn’t get his head around how the character should act. With Rio he struggled too, and tried to replicate some of the character’s struggles in real life to help him try and get into the mindset of the character. But those two were MCs, a minor character with three lines is a whole different story because they don’t have an arc. However, all characters in a good story will have some sort of motive and you will be able to tell what that is from only a few lines. Good dialogue should be able to tell you a lot about a character. I think that’s what Tsukasa is going to learn in this event. Minor characters are not irrelevant even if they don’t contribute to any major plot points. All the characters in the world of that story are real people with individual lives and thoughts and feelings.

And to steer this away from me talking too much about screenwriting I think a minor role as you pointed out could be a hit to his desire to make people smile. Because who cares about a character with three lines? The hero makes people smile, not a forgettable background guy. The forgettable background guy won’t mean anything to anyone, he won’t make anyone smile, and he’s not a star.

Also the preview and title I think will play into these insecurities and lessons. He can’t be the lead every time, he can’t always be the big star of the show. However he can make a small role into a highlight, and even if he isn’t the frontman, there will always be people who will view him as the star of the show regardless, like Saki (Usa-chan) and WxS, and he can at least make them smile.

[homestuckreplay]

what if Rose and GG talked? 🤔

I've started research for an analysis of pesterlog chats, using examples for each possible pairing of characters. As of this week, we've seen pesterlogs between John-Rose, John-Dave, John-GG, Rose-Dave and Dave-GG, but nothing from Rose-GG. I thought it'd be fun to write out a possible pesterlog for them just based on vibes, then analyze the five canon dyads, and then write a second Rose-GG pesterlog if there's still no real ones based on what I learned from doing the analysis.

so, here is my fanfiction pesterlog based only on what I've picked up of their typing styles while reading the comic!

TT: Have you spoken with John recently? TT: Our mutual friend is in a troubling situation. GG: yes! he told me about the meteor… and about having to save the world o_o GG: there was a meteor outside my house too! TT: I see. TT: Are you familiar with the critically lauded yet unfathomably dangerous video game “Sburb”? TT: And would anybody living in your neighborhood happen to be playing the aforementioned title? GG: well i just don’t know! but if the game is as good as you say they probably are GG: is that where the meteors are coming from??? TT: Yes. TT: There are meteors falling in my area too. Small in size, yet alarmingly frequent in occurrence.  TT: I believe this is of some concern. GG: you will be fine rose! GG: i know it is scary but the meteors will not hurt you GG: you will have a close call but just when things seem most dire... you will escape :o GG: trust me! TT: Your unproven precognitive abilities do little to assuage my fears. The sentiment, however, is appreciated. TT: Perhaps you should look into acquiring a copy of this game. If your neighborhood is already endangered, it may be your best hope. GG: haha GG: im not very good at games -.- GG: not like you and john and dave GG: but if there is anything i can do to help then i will do it!!! GG: anyway what else have you been up to? TT: Aside from saving my own life and that of my good friend, I just had an encounter with my mother. TT: Despite my best efforts to evade her, she insisted on gifting me a pony. Another ill-advised drunken purchase, no doubt. TT: She is truly a nightmare. In addition to my other plans for tonight, I must now come up with an appropriately ironic rebuttal. TT: Have you any suggestions? GG: hmm….. GG: you could try feeding the pony and taking care of it! GG: pets are hard work but you were so good with jaspers TT: Ah yes. The woman expects me to neglect this prancing beast and treat it with the scorn it deserves. TT: I will not give her that satisfaction. If I provide this pony with love and nourishment, that will really show her. TT: Perhaps there is some truth to your psychic abilities after all.

[lakesbian]

what are your animorphs thoughts on how the characters have been changing over the course of the series so far? also, do you have a favorite animal moment in the ones you’ve read?

okay this got long due to my rambling so its going under a cut

well i can't say i have any profound analysis on how they've been changing but it's fun...jake rocks because he very rapidly went from "why are you guys saying im the leader im not the leader stop saying im the leader" -> someone has to be the leader, they want it to be me, i'll take the responsibility for making the calls that could get people killed and he Is becoming more repressed and solemn over time about it but he's also great at like. having internal spirals over it and shaking like a leaf and becoming very reactively resentful of both himself for not knowing what to do and everyone else for expecting him to know what to do. & sometimes people are like aww jake it's not your fault but sometimes they yell about how he's the one that got them into this mess so he has to get him out of it while internally regarding him as genuinely being the facade he puts up (<- even marco does this it's dire for jake) so you know. he's not doing so hot. shoutout to when cassie is like so what you're not supposed to be human? and he's like that's exactly right i'm not supposed to be human. it's fucking over for him marco has started calling him Prematurely Middle-Aged. he is turning into brian laborn. i like how they know they can still strategically coerce Whimsy and Immaturity out of him (e.g. 'letting' them sneak into a hollywood concert thing) by appealing to specific teenagerisms of his (shaq will be there).

veryfunny how they. put an arc about tobias navigating [checks notes] accepting his therian identity in the 90s children novels. just straight up. they gave birdboy a stomach-fluttering creeping lack of ability to stay in denial while a higher being was showing him his ideal body moment. They gave birdboy a "rachel is forced to accept who he is and stop solely thinking of him as a human tragically locked away by finding that only appealing to his true self as a red-tailed hawk rather than as a human can bring him out of being lost in a morph" moment. Also, he was autistic about dinosaurs as a child. i fear perhaps he'll have less focus for the rest of the series because his personal arc has like. more or less been sorted already. he's good now. there is the chosen one™️thing coming up still but i like that significantly less than him being just some guy so that's not really exciting. it's nice for him that his life is cool and awesome now though. i will say it's funny how almost every time the animorphs describe each other in their books they're just so wildly off-base (generally in the 'falling for the facade' way but it was funny when marco just confidently rattled off statements about rachels purported secret insecurities that were not even remotely accurate) and with tobias everyone is still like. poor soul. forever trapped in the body of a hawk. and then you cut to tobias and every time he's not in hawk morph he's complaining and bitching and moaning about how he wants to be back in his REAL body with his REAL eyes because they're SO MUCH MORE AWESOME. he's good, guys. he's fine. he's chill.

i am on the. checks notes. second chapter of the Cassie's Spontaneous Mental Break Over Doing Violence book. i like how she had an entire book dedicated to that one specific experience some kids have of being A Kid Who Loves Animals (TM) and then processes that bad things happen all the time in nature + human morality with regards to caring for animals is complicated and biased and gets really distressed about pondering the matter. like you know that type of experience. love that she gets an entire book dedicated to having it. fantastic character trait that she's the most prone out of all of them to having morality debates with herself and distress over the idea of choosing wrong to the point where she genuinely needs someone (marco) to explain to her that inaction is in itself a decision. girl who is very sick and tired of bloodshed, and also keeps accidentally murdering people. remember when she's like [trying 2 joke] i dont want to decide...could you just decide for me jake and jake is like [seriously, completely aware she wasn't kidding on a deeper level] do you Want me to decide for you? it is perhaps most necessary for her over all the other morphs that she gets to Not Be The Person Making The Final Calls. this does not stop her from having increasingly many little moments of nervous breaks before she gets so upset she tries to hard-quit though. should be interesting to see where that goes over the course of the entire series because she has a lot more books to suffer badly through

rachel is like. i think she's the slowest boiling pot here. she's had one (1) moment of really getting snappish about her role being The Brave One but other than that she's largely going "unfortunately i cant stop talking (instinctively immediately calling marco a pussy when he says something is scary and then throwing myself into it to motivate everyone even if i am also so very scared)" and then continuing to play out her role. it's been cute to watch her friendship with marco develop they're by no means each others favorite but they're playful with each other and they're learning how to read each other. i like when rachel is like hmm i think i hear your mom on a submarine and hes like thanks rachel [thinking] if she says youre welcome shes lying to be nice and shes like. Thank you for having better hearing than you? Loser. and hes like oh thank god. it's also very cute when he steals the tv remote while they're all hanging out in a hotel room and acts like he's gonna turn it to baywatch and she gets annoyed and then he puts it to xena warrior princess for her and shes like oh ok :). she is always getting ripped and torn to shreds and almost dying and it may actually be traumatizing the other animorphs marginally more than it traumatizes her. i think thus far my favorite scene with her is when she's traveling with tobias during megamorphs 2

aximili is like. he can be kind of nothing when it's not his book but his characterization is overall really solid. kind of enamored with how much having dinner with cassie impacted him. i want to see more of his developing friendship with tobias...i like how in his head he's like "and we're Best friends :)" without checking to see whether or not tobias also thinks this. deeply deeply funny character in terms of literally being a jock who didnt pay very much attention in school sent back 400 years and expected by everyone he meets there to, like, explain how to invent electricity when all he knows is what electricity is. i think during the dinosaur episode he should have started insufferably asking the other animorphs to explain how to invent a cellphone/water purifier/etc to make a point. bonus points because he comes from a society where being considered more technologically knowledgeable than other warriors is literally a huge diss. he wants to be a jock but he's being considered a nerd by all of his friends just for knowing what is to him basic fact. which obscures the truth that cassie is the real nerd of the group. sad! i disagree with the people who think he's genuinely weird compared to other andalites and not just on earth btw. just a side note. i really like his character development and internal struggles over geopolitics while being Extremely Fifteen. he is fifteen and they are making him undergo the horrors. i would like to see more scenes like where he's invited to dinner at cassie's or where he remembers the dinner at cassie's as smth very fond/important to him but at the same time i can get behind him having a like...undersiders-type relationship to the other animorphs where the connection is simultaneously very superficial and very deep because he wouldn't be in proximity to them if not for Being In A War Together and they don't really have any intimate interactions with him but they still have the intrinsic closeness of constantly fighting for each others lives. i like how he's objectively rachel's least favorite & least trusted and they would still bite claw maim for each other!

marco is becoming increasingly complicated 4 sure. kind of enamored with his character trait where he's completely fine with going "ATTENTION EVERYONE: i am so terrified and scared and afraid that i am shivering and crying hysterically and peeing myself and i've almost fainted as well" but he simultaneously considers the idea of anyone finding out about deeper emotional vulnerabilities of his and pitying him to be intolerable. which kind of clashes in an interesting way w/ how the other animorphs are all pathologically obsessed with the notion that it's fine for anyone Else to be afraid, but They can't be afraid or they're a coward and should be ashamed of themselves. i forgot the specific context but shoutout to when marco fully genuinely says that something is very scary/he's very scared and he wouldn't blame anyone who decided to go home and then cassie projects her own insecurities onto the statement and makes a kind of snippy remark about how she's not going to back down despite the fact that it was in no way targeted at anyone. i like how it's sort of his job to be The Sensible One (although this has shifted over the course of the series now it's more his job to be The Funny One i.e. the emotional medic) but his brain just completely shits out when he's scared and he frequently has to be reminded of common sense things during fights. i like how this does not stop him from being extremely impulsively angry and violent and poorly restrained around things that hit home for him. i like how when jake tries to go "are you ok? asking because you have not made a singular jest and thats worrying to people" marco takes it as "alright fucking fine i'll do better at doing my job and making jokes" instead of emotionally engaging. it's gonna be interesting to see where he goes he's one of the more complicated ones to see the perspective of

[shakingparadigm]

Before anyone jumps to conclusion: I think and agree that media are allowed to delve into dark and uncomfortable topics and i DON'T want to invalidate any interpretation, I just wanted to share thoughts. personally, I genuinely thought that Till simply attacked that one alien with bottle full of liquid and that's why the alien took off parts of their outfit, and other aliens were just trying to restrain Till by holding him down, but reading your analysis of that scene got me thinking SO MUCH...

Don't worry, that's completely fine! It was just an interpretation, after all. It really could just be the physical assault and restrain that Till is used to, although that's something that seems strange to me about that scene too. This is the first time we've seen Till so openly in despair and defeated by what the aliens did to him. He's been restrained and abused before to even worse degrees, yet back then he managed to retain a sense of resilience and defiance. He didn't despair or show any clear signs of weakness when he was punished before, even smiling when the guards held him down in ROUND 2. Now, however, in that particular scene, Till looks exhausted and devastated. Its almost as if he's not used to it, or the actions done to him were of a different, more disturbing caliber. There's also the question of why the hell did the alien have to take his pants off?

This isn't me trying to further hammer down, though. Once again im not saying that this is the correct interpretation, just one of the many that can be made from such a nuanced piece of media. I'm just bringing up the pieces and reasons why people could come to this specific conclusion. It's most likely that Till has just given up fighting and showed more vulnerability because Mizi's absence has affected him that much. The alien very well could have just disposed of his soiled clothes. If anything, I really hope it was just that and nothing else.

[suddencolds]

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. 

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?”  “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

[sixtysixproblems]

(kicks down door) hey. hey guys. keeli & ponds have the same rusty colored armor, in i think the exact same shade. keeli was a captain and not a commander, so logically it's possible he served under one. so keeli was one of ponds's captains and i will die on this hill. considering how talented he seemed to be in the little screen time he had (and considering he was trusted highly enough to serve directly with a jedi), he could have been Ponds's second-in-command even. ya'll. ya'll what the FUCK am i supposed to do with this at 12 fucking am.

have some semi-organized/semi-incoherent thoughts:

this battalion seems to have really shitty luck with Clone COs getting fucking twc is a tragedy'd because YEOWCH. like can you imagine, your captain and all the clones with him die in a self-sacrifice last stand, and then your commander + command crew of a cruiser dies to bounty hunters. like i bet it's not THAT uncommon, and the 501st had a lot of plot armor in a way, but still?? that relatively early on in the war both times too?????? and can you imagine being Mace (and possibly Neyo) and having to navigate that morale disaster on top of your own probably messy feelings on both situations? like yikes oh my god.

well now i'm drawing parallels between their deaths, gee thanks. and now im wondering that after keeli died in that way, that was a big part of why Ponds chose to go down with the ship? like, from what we gathered of him, it seemed to be in character regardless...but if Keeli and a bunch of other men had died under his command, i bet it didn't even feel like an option to abandon the command crew/admiral-- even if it seemed implied (or at least in my interpretation) that ponds wasn't obligated or even expected to stay on the cruiser.

both deaths are written to make the audience feel shitty despite not really knowing these characters, but for different reasons. keeli's feels very "classic tragedy" aka it sort of echoes some greek/roman myths and tragedies for me. like it's very honorable, brave, and it's a heroic sacrifice, and because twc is twc it's a brutal fight pretty damn clear (to my recollection at least) no one got out of that fight alive. you root for the characters because they're pretty fucking likable instantly because of what they're willing to do to protect the twi'leks, even if you can tell they're doomed from the start or you're on a rewatch. you know why it has to happen, you just cant help but hope it won't. filoni seems to like this trick a lot cough cough fives

Ponds's death by contrast, was intended to feel pointless, and that's where the sense of tragedy/audience's sadness comes from at least in part. keeli's death was sad because even if these characters could have lived, they were too good to take that road and instead picked the greater good, and it was just...fucking sad, man (its 12 dont come here for good analysis). By contrast, despite ponds having a pretty impressive handle on the situation actually (he seems to get under Sing's skin a little, and it's my opinion/headcanon that the CT number he gave was a lie), it's not like he's actually in control of the situation/has any agency at all. It's cruel and it's unfair and feels pointless, especially considering he survived the ship crash and survived the bounty hunter's attack on the survivors-- and especially contrasted with most other named character TWC deaths, which are almost always in battle/a heroic sacrifice/etc.

so yeah, moral of the story, while the deaths have some parallels to me, they're also very different. filoni used different writing tricks to make me you cry over another barely mentioned copy paste man. again.

very unhappy considering the HCs of Rex both being close to Keeli (often as batchmates), and being stolen adopted by Cody & CC batch. i'm also very unhappy about all of this in general.

one thing that's interesting, is that clearly keeli's death can be pulled off without any previous screentime (sobs). but i dont think ponds's death would have worked as well if it wasn't for his (albiet brief) screentime in the ryloth arc. like, in hindsight, oh boy-- there is no reason (I can parse out, at least) to give precious screentime Mace Windu's random clone commander primarily to make him more likable-- via a good report with Windu, and wanting to pass on rations to the civilian/sad about ensuing warcrimes-- if you weren't, oh i dont know, trying to get the audience a little attached or at least remember his name for when you fucking kill him. like yeah, those scenes served dual purpose, but the other plot-y goals (like "here's the horror of fucking war again in our pg7 show") could have been pulled off other ways with characters that get more focus/the audience already knows (Cham, who would have a more emotional reaction, and Mace, who the audience already has a rapport with). maybe im thinking too far into this, but Perhaps Not.

my "first" (probably not, but first watch since i was ten) of That Scene involved "oh fuck that isn't the nice commander from ryloth right" (checks wookipedia) "fuuuuuuuuuck--", so. it still would have been sad, but it's a lot more sad if you remember (even vaguely) who he is and have your (anakin sad boy voice) "that was ponds" moment.

yeah idk how to end this. suffer as i have, i guess?

[metanarrates]

honestly how are you so smart? How do I become smart? My entire life I was put in the gifted classes and I really think it made me think I was smarter than I am. I'm "intelligent", sure. But I'm also really dumb and it's a huge sore point for me :( I'm always falling victim to believing anyone who sounds the most convincing and I never have my own opinion. It's like those discourse posts where I'll have whiplash reading them thinking "OK this is the most morally correct stance on the matter got it!" And then there'll be a new response and I'll go "OK scratch that! This is what I should believe and parrot back!". I'm really worried that I don't have any firm stances on anything and I'm a sheep who just follows the most ""correct"" sounding take. Sorry to dump this on you, I'd just like to hear your thoughts on it!

that sort of thing is more common than you think, anon. lots of people have trouble not following a herd mentality. it's scary to go against the grain! and i do think the educational system can reinforce that in certain people, since having the "correct" thought as determined by educators is prioritized more than a student having their own independent opinions.

my advice is to start small. if you see a post on your dash talking about a certain topic, really take a moment to step back. does this argument seem convincing? does it seem accurate? if so, why? do you have all the information? if you don't know enough about a topic to formulate your own opinion, maybe you should do some research!

and im not saying you should by default disagree with everything you see. that creates its own host of problems. I'm saying that whether you agree OR disagree with something, you should take a step back and evaluate why. can you explain your own opinions to others outside of "people I want to agree with have this opinion?"

it's also perfectly fine to not have an opinion on certain topics. if you don't know very much about something, there's no shame in waiting to form an opinion until you have more information. don't be afraid to ask questions. don't be afraid to investigate the trustworthiness of sources!

but if all that is overwhelming, and stepping in discourse sounds scary, you can even try this with fiction you read or watch. (im primary a media analysis blog, so i really do think fiction is a great practice ground to practice your analytical skills.) how does this story make me feel? can I identify why it does that? do I like this character? why? can I pick up on any subtext here? can I identify any literary devices the author is using? small questions like that.

in my opinion, a lot of my seeming intelligence comes from my ability to know and explain myself. I spend a lot of time reflecting on why I hold certain opinions, and seeking out further information when I don't understand something. you're probably here because you like my opinions on media analysis - those opinions are formed by not only reading and watching a wide range of things, but by seeking out different lens of analysis, and yes, seeing what other people have to say, and evaluating whether or not I think their opinions are well-supported. I try my best to expose myself to a lot of different types of thought. and I try my best to understand my own mental mechanisms, and to challenge them when necessary. I do think that's crucial to being an independent thinker.

I am sorry if this comes across as a lot. this stuff is overwhelming! you don't have to take all my advice at once. if you can pick even one suggestion from this post, and make an honest effort to try it, you'll start getting better at confronting your fear of being wrong, or the odd one out. over time, it will get easier for you to understand yourself as an independent person.

[blueskittlesart]

hi! im really curious about your thoughts on oot, i'm trying really hard to like it and i wanna see what you enjoy about it

Hi!!! I'm going to do my best to explain exactly why I like oot but there is a TON of ground to cover. i have already written a bit about the story and my thoughts on it in this document, but this is a much more in-depth analysis of the symbolism and implied narrative which i think may be more helpful to you if you're struggling to get into the story and gameplay!

oot is my favorite zelda game of all time and was what made me fall in love with the series, but I will concede that it shows its age, especially with the insane advancements that video games have made over the past 2 decades or so since its release. Try to remember when playing it that it came out in 1998, when a game with any sort of 3d graphics at all was still new and exciting. some of its gameplay is going to be a bit dated, unfortunately, and it's totally reasonable to dislike that aspect of it i think! If you really find yourself struggling with gameplay, i recommend zeldadungeon.net for dungeon walkthroughs. they have very concise and easy-to-follow walkthroughs for the entire game which make the gameplay MUCH smoother for first-time players! there's no shame in needing walkthrough help in these dungeons, ESPECIALLY some of the later ones which get notoriously convoluted and difficult. that being said, even if you use walkthroughs, I'd encourage you to still pay attention to the dungeon's designs and details as a lot of thought was put into these designs and I think they're still some of the strongest in the series! gameplay-wise I'd also say that there are a lot of little collectibles that will seem like they're way more important than they are to new players. you don't need the skulltulas (they get you a bigger wallet), you don't need to complete any trading sequences, you don't even REALLY need to go out of your way to collect any of the extra heart pieces, the game is perfectly beatable with just the hearts you'll get from dungeons. Knowing all these things going in will really streamline your gaming experience and make things easier for you if you're getting put off by the 90s-style game design.

As for what i really love about the series, it's the story. And i understand that if you're not someone who makes a habit of analyzing media to an obsessive degree, at first glance oot doesn't seem to have a lot of story. A simple fact of old game design is that more dialog and cutscenes meant more storage space was needed, and the biggest constraint in game design at the time was the limited amount of storage a disc or cartridge could hold. What this means is that storytelling in older games like oot takes a very different form than the cutscene and dialog-heavy storytelling that games tend to use nowadays. the storage restrictions on the game meant that a lot of oot's story had to be told implicitly, via details and worldbuilding and actions carried out by the player. I know this can make it difficult to grasp at first glance! that's why i love to analyze it and talk about it, because I want people to understand how rich and well-told oot's narrative actually is and i know that most people aren't as willing to put in the work as i am, lol. with that being said, this is where the spoilers are gonna start! i'm gonna recap and analyze most of oot's story here, so if you're not looking for spoilers scroll away now and experience the game for yourself!!

oot is at its roots a story about adults failing children. i will elaborate on this point a bit more later, but for now let's look at our opening segment. We are introduced to our link, the youngest link in the franchise, at nine years old. From the get-go, we as the player are told that link's hylian parents died in a conflict very shortly after he was born, leaving him in kokiri forest to be raised by the deku tree, among the kokiri.

The kokiri are a race of eternal children. what this means, essentially, is that we begin the story with a link wearing rose-tinted glasses. the kokiri live forever without aging or dying, and they never leave the forest. Link has grown up isolated and without any concept of aging or death. he has been told by the deku tree, his father-figure, that he IS a kokiri and therefore will never age or die. Despite this, link does have a crucial difference from the rest of the kokiri that even he is aware of--he has no fairy. If you talk to the kokiri in the initial kokiri forest segment of the game, many of them will talk down to you or make remarks about you finally getting a fairy, reminding the player that link knows SOMETHING is wrong with him, that he's different from the other kids somehow, but he's not yet been able to pinpoint what.

we come to our first dungeon segment, where the deku tree summons link and tells him that he's dying and that link must defeat a monster to save him. when the player completes this objective, the deku tree dies anyway, revealing that he knew all along he couldn't be saved and lied to link about it in order to get him to do the dungeon. with his dying breath, he tells link to leave the forest and find princess zelda. (worth noting that up until this point, link has been told that leaving the forest will KILL HIM.) this is the first major failure of an adult we see, and as the inciting incident of the game it sets the tone very nicely for the rest of the shitshow. The deku tree lies to link his entire life about who he is, and then spends his dying moments lying to link AGAIN, specifically in service of a greater plan to turn link into the savior of hyrule by sending him to help princess zelda. this point is crucial--the deku tree has clear-cut, understandable reasons behind acting the way he does. It would have been much easier on link to allow him to grow up isolated among the kokiri, and it removes a lot of the potential danger he would have faced as an orphan in hyrule in the aftermath of the war which killed his parents. (we will later see that hyrule is in no way a safe place for a child on their own.) Explaining all the magical-destiny lore to a nine year old had the potential to scare him away from the task ahead, as did admitting to him that there was no way to save the deku tree. But lying to him about it all still ultimately deeply hurt him. this is the stage upon which the rest of the game will build.

Link, freshly traumatized by the death of his tree dad, leaves kokiri forest. he goes to castle town and meets princess zelda, a girl no older than him. Princess zelda tells him that she fears for the safety of her kingdom, but that no one will listen to her when she tries to warn them of the danger. this is our second adult failing--the entire conflict around which this game centers could have been prevented if only any adult was willing to listen to zelda's concerns about ganondorf. But because she is a child she is dismissed over and over again until she finally turns to ANOTHER child for help. her plan for link involves him retrieving objects needed to open the gateway to the sacred realm within the temple of time, which i know sounds like a bunch of confusing lore shit but all you really need to understand is that there's a gateway to what is essentially godlike power inside this temple, and zelda wants link to open the gateway and claim the power before ganondorf can. link already has one of the 3 keys he needs--it was the reward for killing the deku tree beating the first dungeon in kokiri forest, and zelda takes this as proof enough that he will be able to find the other two.

in these first three dungeon segments, link is confined to his nine-year-old form. His sword is wooden and deals considerably less damage than it will later in the game, and in each of the dungeon segments there are reminders of the way being a child affects his autonomy in hyrule--the guard at the gates of death mountain won't let him pass, the zora princess berates him for not being enough of a man, several collectibles are clearly visible but impossible to reach with his current size & ability, etc etc. this section of the game is deliberately juxtaposed against the initial segment in kokiri forest, in which everything was built for someone of link's size and strength and no part of the map was unexplorable or all that challenging. What you're supposed to realize here is that being a kid in hyrule is HARD. you have very little autonomy and are constantly condescended to. One of the few hylian npcs your age, Malon, is a good example of this--in her mini-quest she vents to link about how her father can't see that his stablehand resents him and she's constantly having to look after him without being listened to. She is being given adult responsibilities (looking after her father & the animals on their farm) without adult social status. Her situation is a deliberate parallel to both link and zelda's, though during this 3-dungeon segment of the game it's not immediately clear yet just how much adult responsibility link is actually shouldering. in any case, this is our third example of adults failing children, and the theme begins to be echoed in the worldbuilding of hyrule during this stage as well.

now we come to the initial confrontation, the scene which alters the trajectory of the game and divides what i consider the first and second halves of the gameplay (although the second half is probably much longer lol). Link, having found all 3 keys to the sacred realm, returns to hyrule castle, only to find that ganondorf has attacked, forcing princess zelda to flee with her attendant. He catches one final glimpse of her where she throws him the final key needed to unlock the temple of time: the ocarina. although no words are exchanged between them, it's clear that she's asking link to carry out the rest of her plan on his own and claim the power sealed in the temple before ganondorf can. and so link goes to the temple of time and opens the gateway, but link is nine years old and so link doesn't notice that ganondorf, a trained thief, is following him. When he opens the temple, ganon siezes the power zelda was trying so hard to keep him from finding.

we then pan down to link again, but different. he's changed, he's older. notably, he isn't an adult. he is sixteen years old, physically, but mentally, for both link and the player, no time has passed at all. this is important to keep in mind for the rest of the game--no matter how link may look, he is mentally still nine years old. he wakes up to essentially a lecture from the world's biggest dickhead, the sage rauru. Rauru places the blame for ganondorf's rise to power squarely on link and zelda's shoulders, noting that if link hadn't opened the temple of time in the first place, ganondorf would have never been able to sieze power. he tells link that he placed him into a deep sleep for the past seven years because, at nine years old, he wasn't strong enough physically to take on ganondorf and win. But now, he says, link is old enough to be a real asset. it's time for link to defeat ganondorf.

Once again, we have a clear-cut case of adults failing children. Link and zelda took matters into their own hands BECAUSE of the adults in their lives. for link, it was the deku tree (HIS FATHER)'s dying wish that he help zelda. for zelda, her plan was a last resort after begging every adult in her life to see what was coming and being constantly ignored. now that what she predicted has come to pass, she and link take all the blame for it, for being kids in a difficult position doing the best they could with NO ADULT HELP WHATSOEVER. you can't place the fate of an entire kingdom on the shoulders of two nine year olds and expect it not to fall. but that's what hyrule's adult leaders did, and when the kingdom fell they let the nine-year olds take the blame for it. zelda hasn't been seen for years. she's either dead or in hiding out of shame for her mistake. meanwhile, Link has once again become a pawn in someone else's game. The sage rauru decides for him, without ever consulting him, that he can't be trusted to remain conscious for the seven years between gameplay segments. that he will be safer and happier to remain asleep. anyone who stops for a moment to consider what this might do to link's mental state would have not done this, but rauru sees link as a child, which in hyrule is synonymous with an object to be controlled, with no feelings of his own. he needs to be protected and hidden, regardless of what effect it has on him when he wakes up. nothing else matters as long as he can be kept alive and unharmed. this is a deliberate parallel to the way the deku tree treated link while under his care in kokiri forest--he doesn't need to know the truth, because it's easier and more convenient for everyone else if he doesn't. its effect on his mental state doesn't matter. what matters is that he is kept in a position which is convenient for the adults in his life. this is another reminder of the way in which being so young hurts link, and if I can diverge into real-world relevance for a second, it's an obvious metaphor for the way trauma steals one's childhood. Link was never allowed to grow up normally. he went from being a kid one day to an adult the next, with no time in between to figure anything out. his childhood, his coming-of-age, was stolen from him by greedy adults who needed him to be a pawn in their war.

the dungeons in the adult segment of the game can technically be completed in multiple different orders, but the usual order (and what i think is probably the way the narrative is intended to progress) is to get to the forest temple first, which requires you to reenter kokiri forest, all grown up. it's important to note that up until this point in your gameplay, link still has plausible deniability about his race. sure, he didn't die when he left the forest, but maybe that was a lie told to ALL kokiri. maybe he's still a kokiri and he won't grow up. but now he's got solid proof that he was lied to, and that the safe, beautiful sanctuary he's spent the majority of his life in was never actually meant to be his home. When you return to kokiri forest as an adult, you find that it's nothing like the safe-haven you remember. it's been overrun with monsters that are taller than you now, as an adult. This is a metaphor, obviously, for returning to someplace changed. link goes back to his home and it doesn't feel like his home anymore with all that he knows now. And if the monsters weren't enough, if link talks to the kokiri, cowering in their little kid-sized houses, not a single one of them recognizes him. they address him as an adult they've never met before. to them, it's been seven years, and they've never known a kid to grow into an adult before. but to link, it's been a few days at most, and inside he's still the little boy they knew.

the dungeons in this segment of the game are mostly straightforward training exercises to give link the necessary skills and assets he needs to fight ganondorf. I'll skip over most of them, but there are three things i DO want to highlight about this section of the game: malon, sheik, and the water temple.

Malon is introduced in the first half of the game as an example of another child with very little agency and power. Seven years later, if link visits her again, he will find the ranch in an even worse state, with the stablehand having taken over and kicked out malon's father. Malon stays purely out of fear of what will happen to her horses if she leaves them in his hands. She is an adult now, as you are, and yet she has even less power than before. So much of the first half of oot is framed in such a way that the player wishes link was older. It wants you to think, wouldn't this whole thing be easier if I was an adult? Wouldn't I have more power, more agency? but now that you ARE an adult, you're confronted with the fact that nothing has changed. you are still a pawn in a war against ganondorf. Malon is still trapped at the ranch, forced to endure daily abuse or leave her animal friends to die. however, this segment is also the first time you as the player are given the option to fight back. If you, as a child, have taken the necessary steps to befriend malon and epona, one of her horses, you are able to use the bonds you forged in childhood to run the stablehand off the ranch and return power to malon. this mini-arc with malon is a teaser for the overarching arc of the game--having no power in childhood, believing that adulthood will be your savior, but finding the same powerlessness in adulthood, and ultimately returning to pieces of your childhood in order to finally reclaim your power.

next up is sheik, who is deliberately a mystery for the majority of this segment, but. well. we all know he's zelda, so i'm not going to beat around the bush. Sheik is what has become of zelda in the years since ganondorf took power--where zelda was once strong-willed and refused to stand down in the face of danger, sheik now moves among the shadows, darting in to offer link a bit of help or advice but never getting too close. My reading of this is that zelda, after growing up in the aftermath of her failed plan, was afraid of what she'd done to link. She saw her influence as the thing that brought hyrule to ruin--after all, link never would have opened the door in the temple of time if not for her. The way she sees it, her choice to use him back when they were nine destroyed his life and her kingdom. This is why she's largely absent in this segment of the game, only stepping in for brief moments and disappearing the second link tries to reach out for her. Her character at this point is essentially representative of self-isolation as a coping mechanism.

finally the water temple, which I promise i didn't single out just because it sucks, but i will warn any potential players that it sucks. it's the most convoluted ass design in the world and even with a walkthrough it gets confusing and hard to navigate at times. this is not the point of this paragraph, though. the point of this paragraph is that there is a miniboss in this dungeon that is INCREDIBLY important to link's character and to this day is one of the most well-done and impactful battles i've ever had the pleasure of playing. (side note, why the hell did the himekawa manga make this battle happen at the bottom of the fucking well?? ive believed for years that he was a shadow temple boss because of that. whatever. anyways)

about halfway through this dungeon, you come upon a room that looks like an endless sea of water, with bits of ruins and a single rotting tree in the middle. when you walk into the room, you'll be attacked by a mini-boss that takes the form of link's reflection, black and translucent with glowing red eyes. the miniboss dark link will mimic your attacks and block when you swing, requiring players to be crafty and strategic in order to beat him instead of just swinging with the right weapon at the right time. from a purely gameplay-based standpoint, this fight is sick as hell. it rewards you for thinking on your feet and forces you to come up with real time strategy to beat a foe who genuinely seems to think the same way you do, which is REALLY cool, especially for a game released in nineteen fucking ninety eight. narratively, though, there are symbols upon symbols upon symbols to be picked apart in this fight alone. there's the obvious metaphor of fighting onesself--representative of an internal struggle of some kind. pair that with the set dressing for this arena and the information we already know about link, and things start to fall into place. Link was raised in a lush forest, surrounded on all sides by walls of trees that kept him safe and isolated from the world at large. the minute he left that forest, bits and pieces of his worldview started to fall apart--he learned his identity as a kokiri was a lie, experienced the hardships of being a child in hyrule, and now he's grown up and become a pawn in the fight against ganondorf, losing what little agency he had along with the ability to return to his home in kokiri forest. He finds himself in this illusion room, with a shadow version of himself waiting to attack him, clearly indicating that this room is representative of his state of mind. an endless, desolate landscape stretching out into infinity. no walls to keep him safe, no cover at all save for that one single, ROTTING TREE in the middle. This tree is a symbol of link's mental state. (my evidence for this one spans across a couple games but just trust me when i say this interpretation is grounded in reality it would just take too long to explain) and the tree is not looking good. it is dying. and from this dying tree springs a reflection of himself that link must fight to progress. I think there's an obvious message that's being conveyed here: link regrets leaving kokiri forest. he regrets the way he's been used, the hard truths he has had to learn about the world since he left. He is still mentally nine years old, and as a child he still yearns to return to that safety he was promised in kokiri forest despite knowing that it's no longer there for him to return to. Dark link is representative of all link's fear and regret and turmoil surrounding his destiny and what has been done to him over the last seven years. Because this is a video game, he is able to physically fight those feelings, to defeat the reflection of himself that torments him and walk out of that room at peace, having faced his fears and confronted his true feelings. Narratively, this battle is representative of the ongoing internal struggle link is grappling with over the course of this segment of gameplay, and shows the player how link must overcome those feelings of fear and inadequacy in order to gain the power to defeat ganon.

now we finally come to the ending segment of the game. this is where the lore gets a little bit convoluted and trips some people up. if you're not a lore slave you can basically ignore the triforce thing. the only affect it has on the narrative is that it gives ganondorf a reason to need both link and zelda, since they have the other two pieces of the powerful relic he's after. this is why he kidnaps zelda and taunts link to come rescue her instead of just like. hunting them both for sport in the wilds of hyrule.

the final battle with ganon is the culmination of all your efforts throughout the game. in the leadup to it, the final dungeon reminds you of this by having each of its rooms be a mini-version of one of the previous six temples you completed in the second half of the game. once you finish this final dungeon, you're able to get into the castle. I have to mention one of my favorite design choices in this whole game here, which is the fact that the background music in the castle gets louder the closer you get to the final room, and when you finally get there it's revealed that ganondorf was playing it the whole time. the details in this game make me crazy they're all so well-done. anyways. to discuss this battle we first need to discuss a crucial character who i realize i've forgotten to mention this ENTIRE time somehow: navi.

I love navi. i hate the way she became a joke among fans. this is not the point of this post. the point is that narratively, navi is one of the only GOOD adult figures we see in the entire game. (one could argue that she isn't an adult, but she takes on a guiding and mentor-like role for link so i consider her one despite some of her more childish mannerisms.) Navi is the one character who has been at link's side since the very beginning, the only consistent good influence on his life. the only adult mentor who hasn't somehow tried to fuck him over or manipulate him somehow. She is INTEGRAL to his survival through all the crazy bullshit he gets caught up in. the game makes her importance clear to the player in two ways: the first, obviously, is that she's the tutorial character--she tells you where to go, what to do, explains mechanics and puzzles, etc. The second, and the detail that's gonna be super important in our discussion of the final battle, is that she's tied to the game's targeting mechanic. It's subtle enough that I actually didn't notice it my first time around UNTIL this final battle, but every time you target an enemy to attack them (which with the way the camera movement is designed in this game is basically a required element of combat) navi flies to their weak spot and hovers there, which is the in-game explanation for what targeting is--navi is showing link the monsters' weak spots. in the first phase of the final battle with ganondorf, he erects a forcefield which prevents navi from entering the battlefield, removing the player's ability to target completely.

i absolutely LOVE this battle in terms of both gameplay and narrative. removing the targeting mechanic is a genuine handicap that makes the battle genuinely difficult for the player, and narratively it serves to remind you of the importance of navi, a positive adult influence, in link's life. without her, dealing damage is so much more difficult, but as soon as you have her back the battle becomes super intuitive and you're able to strategize much more effectively. Eventually, you deal enough damage to get navi back and flee the castle with the princess, before making one final stand against Ganon, a mutated beast-form of ganondorf. with navi by your side, his massive weakness becomes easily targetable, and you're able to defeat and seal him for good.

the end-credits scene of the game shows link time-traveling back to his nine-year-old self, before any of the events of the game have come to pass, and re-entering hyrule castle to warn nine-year-old zelda about what is to come. this is a time paradox, i know, but i LOVE this ending thematically. As I mentioned extensively earlier, link and zelda's stories are both representative of the way trauma robs you of childhood. they were both stripped of their chance to be children and grow up and come of age due to what happened with ganondorf. Allowing link to go back and prevent those events from ever occurring is a promise of healing. it's a promise that he and zelda will be able to reclaim the childhoods that were stolen from them by war and by adults who wanted to use them as pawns in it. it's a reclamation of the agency that these characters have been consistently denied throughout their stories. it's. a good ending. it's a really good ending. I like it a lot.

So uhhh wow that was a lot! what it comes down to is that i think oot is a story a ton of people can relate to. being a kid with responsibility but no agency and longing to be an adult, but then growing up and wanting nothing more than to return to the childhood you lost... that's something that really resonates with me, at least. and yeah oot has a lot of quirks and convoluted story and stuff but at its core it's a really beautiful coming-of-age that deals REALLY well with trauma and childhood and growing up!! tldr it's just. a genuinely incredible story and it means a LOT to me lol