#so much of it was too easy to poke holes in imo & you guys know im not the cinemasins ding type w movies lmao i also think i went into it

[sydmarch]

NOT understanding the hype around longlegs

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

Love Me Like You Used To (part 2)

AN: Thanks for all the love on this little mini story, y’all! I do ask that if you like my work, please reblog! It’s great to get so many likes, the but the greatest compliment as a writer (imo) is sharing my work! :) 

2.7k of uncertainty

____

Y/N shifted on her bed uncomfortably as she read the text from Nick.

It was good to see you today.

She didn’t know what to say--mostly because it was good to see him today. It felt good to be with someone who knew her before things felt so out of balance. Y/N read the words another three times before she let her thumbs hover over the screen.

How did she say that to Nick in a way that didn’t seem like she was coming onto him or holding onto something that wasn’t there? Sure, Y/N and Nick had agreed to be friends when they broke up, but it went just as well as it does for most couples. A few texts here and there--liking each other’s instagram posts--until finally, nothing. Their years together faded into a memory, only thought about in rare moments alone.

She typed back: It was good to see you too. Thanks for listening.

She let the phone flop to her bed and wondered about where things had all went wrong. When did her life become one that she didn’t recognize? When did she start to feel so unlike herself?

Her phone buzzed quickly--her immediate thought was that there was clearly nothing left between she and Nick if he was texting back so quickly. If there was, he would have waited a few minutes, you know, make her work for it. But it wasn’t Nick.

It was Harry.

Hope Nick is doing well.

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat, her heartbeat was suddenly in her ears as she looked up at the clock. Had he seen something online? Had he seen them in person? Was he still living in the West Village?

Again, her thumbs hovered over the screen--but this time, for a different reason. What did she say to the boy who still held her heart in his hands? The boy who likely didn’t love her like she still loved him--despite the six months and the one drunk text between them?

He was angry, the words in his text made that clear.

She typed a few words and backspaced. Typed again, backspaced. Once more, until she stared at the blank message and wondered what it would be like to type her real feelings.

“Hey,” a voice sounded from the doorway--Y/N’s roomate, Nina, poked her head through the door frame. “How was your date with a Jonas Brother?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, flopping back on her bed a little too dramatically. “It wasn’t a date, okay? It was just coffee and talking and catching up. You know, normal things you do with your ex-boyfriend.”

“Girl, I’ve had a shit ton of ex-boyfriends and I have never done that with any of them.”

Y/N shot her roommate a look, one that read you’re not helping, as Nina came to sit on the bed.

“It’s not that easy, Nina.”

“What’s not easy? Dating cute guys with lots of money?”

Y/N gave her another unimpressed glance--she hated when people took it there. Sure, she knew that she was linked to people with a different form of popularity than most were used to--she knew her job gave her that type of access to those types of people--but Y/N didn’t see them that way.

“Harry texted me,” she said quietly, her eyes on the ceiling as she waited for Nina to have a dramatic reaction.

“I’m sorry--what? Two ex-boyfriends in one day?”

“In the span of three hours,” Y/N corrected.

“That’s got to be a record, even for you.”

Y/N laughed at this, watching as Nina stood from her bed and headed back to the door. “I’m meeting Katie for dinner, want to join?”

“I can’t,” Y/N spoke, turning on her side to face Nina in the doorway once more. “I’ve got a skype call with my manager and a few contracts to read over.”

With that, Nina disappeared from sight, her words still ringing in Y/N’s ears. That’s got to be a record, even for you.

Y/N knew that there was something cosmic about it--something strange about the fact that the one time she was vulnerable enough to reach out to Nick and put herself out there, Harry showed up.

Y/N had been to Chelsea four times since she broke up with Harry. She’d avoided it for so long. She avoided the 6th avenue street fair when the weather warmed up and she avoided the Chelsea Pier like the plague.

She wondered, as she stared back at her phone once more, what kind of sick joke the universe was playing on her.

**

Harry had decided to put his phone underneath the couch cushion when he watched TV that night. He decided it’d be better off there, in a place where he wouldn’t be tempted to check it every 13 seconds to see if Y/N had texted back.

He’d made it through two commercial breaks before he felt like the phone was burning a hole at the end of his couch.

He scrambled for it, his heartbeat climbing when he saw her name on the screen. Somehow, he hadn’t expected to actually get a reply.

He’s doing well. Working on a few new projects lately.

He let out a burst of air through his nose, his anger climbing up this throat and leaving a heat in his chest that he didn’t like the feeling of. He hated being mad at Y/N. He hated feeling like there was space between them that only grew with the passing seconds they spent apart.

But he couldn’t deny that things had changed. He couldn’t deny that distance was hard and work never made it easy. He didn’t like all of her friends and she certainly didn’t love all of his. There were fights and phone calls that ended in an impulsive press of the ‘end call’ button and ignored voicemails.

There were also days when Y/N would be the only person in the world to make him smile.

Harry had to fight the urge to call her--his thumb seemed to float above the small icon under her contact. One quick press and he had the chance of hearing her voice. But he didn’t know if that’s what he wanted.

Not if she was back with Nick.

But how was he supposed to ask that? How was he supposed to get more information about their meeting if he couldn’t actually ask? And what did her text mean? Y/N wasn’t stupid enough to think Harry was seriously inquiring about Nick--she’d absolutely picked up in the sarcasm that laced his message.

Which mean that Y/N was being just as testy in her reply, which made Harry more annoyed.

**

Nick had no clue what the feeling was in his chest when he laid in bed to try to sleep. He didn’t know what he thought or felt or wanted and that was something entirely new to him. He’d always been a take charge kind of person--he’d always been one to set his sights on a goal and meet (if not exceed) it.

It’s not that he hadn’t thought about Y/N at all since they broke up. The first year he thought about her a lot. It was hard to go from talking to her everyday to barely speaking--and it was especially hard when he found out that she’d started dating Harry so quickly.

It’d been barely 6 months and she was suddenly paired up, going out, and doing fun and exciting things with all of her new friends. Nick avoided instagram altogether after he saw her first post about him--even though the breakup was amicable.

Nick cared about Y/N--and that would never change. He wanted her to be happy, but something about Y/N’s new boyfriend had rubbed him the wrong way when he got a text from a mutual friend asking if he’d heard the news. She’d bounced to a new boy in a new band and it felt--in a way--like she was fame chasing.

Not that Y/N needed to do that--she was successful on her own. But now she had a new group of friends to go on tour with--new names were beside hers in the headlines and to Nick, it felt like he’d suddenly woken up in an alternate universe.

Y/N L/N on to the next one (direction).

A new direction for Y/N L/N, literally!

Nick eventually decided that getting a girlfriend of his own was the best way to deal with the strange feelings he had about it. And when he met Olivia, everything settled down. The world moved on from his public relationship and public split, and Y/N and Harry seemed to be quieting down as well.

So life moved on. His band broke up, his new relationship ended, he became an uncle (twice), and he realized that he actually enjoyed fishing and writing songs for other people and spending time with his friends away from the stage.

Now, as he sat at the counter in his brother’s SoHo apartment the next morning, Nick couldn’t help but be annoyed by the look on his brother’s face. Joe--who had a penchant for pissing Nick off--was just excited that Nick had reunited with Y/N.

“You can’t be mad at me for being happy about it--she was one of my best friends for four years.”

Nick rolled his eyes and then sipped at his black coffee. “I’m not mad at you--it’s just weird, okay? I have no idea who she is now.”

“She’s Y/N,” Joe said simply. “She can’t be that different.”

“You’re missing the point,” Nick shook his head, almost ready to drop it entirely until Joe rounded the corner and took a seat next to him.

“Then enlighten me, asshole.”

Nick laughed a bit, rubbing at his eyes to try to gain clarity. “She used to be my best friend, too. She used to be the person I called every night before bed--and then suddenly she fell off the face of the earth, pretty much.”

Joe shrugged his shoulders, an admission that Nick had a point.

“And now she--she shows up in my life four years later and needs emotional support? Because her relationship ended and she asks how I’ve been like it’s nothing?”

“This is one of those things that would only happen to you,” Joe laughed, clapping his hand on Nick’s back as he stood.

Nick let out a sigh. “Yeah--no one’s written a book on how to be friends with your ex-girlfriend who you haven’t spoken to in four years.”

Joe tilted his head thoughtfully. “You’ve always wanted to write a book.”

While Nick appreciated the joke, it didn’t help him decide anything. It didn’t give him any more insight into what this meant for he and the girl he didn’t know anymore. And it certainly didn’t give him any insight into the feeling in his stomach when his phone lit up on the counter.

Why didn’t you tell me you had coffee with Y/N? I had to find out on twitter?

**

Harry wasn’t trying to obsessive. He wasn’t trying to check Y/N’s instagram for updates and he wasn’t trying to be weird when he texted Niall to ask if he’d spoken to her lately. He knew they’d talk periodically--he knew because Niall had let the metaphorical cat out of the bag when he publicly wished her a happy birthday on twitter.

Niall, however, insisted that he had no idea what was going on with her and Nick, and he did his best to ensure Harry that her ex-boyfriend had nothing on him.

“He’s ridiculous, Harry. He wore a chain to a red carpet not that long ago--lookin’ like Liam but stupider, t’be honest with ya.”

Harry let out a sigh, appreciative that his friend was following all the usual protocol: shit talk the competition and boost Harry’s ego accordingly.

“I don’t know if I should text her back.”

“She texted you? You wait until now to tell me that Y/N texted you?”

“Well I texted her first, and then she responded.”

“What did you say?” Niall’s words were rushed as if he needed the information like his life depended on it.

Harry paused for a second, a small laugh escaping his lips in contemplation--he was snarky and he knew it. He also knew that if he told Niall what he’d said, he’d likely get a lecture.

“I asked how Nick was.”

Silence on the other end of the line. After a second, a sigh. “You’re incredibly petty sometimes, Harold.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he brushed his friend off. “What am I supposed to do when she’s the one who broke up with me, huh? She’s the one who left and she’s the one who’s now in this neighborhood for some reason and hanging out with him.”

“M’not saying it’s right,” Niall said. “I just think you’d be better off telling her how you feel.”

“How I feel?” The words escaped Harry’s mouth without much thought. The problem was that he didn’t really know how he felt. He didn’t really know how to handle this when his strongest feeling was a desire to punch Nick Jonas in the face. But those headlines wouldn’t be good.

“Yeah--y’know. Say that you miss her, say that you wish you never broke up.”

“I can’t just say that to her Niall,” Harry’s deep tone insinuated that what he was saying was obvious, but Niall didn’t see it that way.

**

“I’m sorry if it was weird,” Y/N laughed, holding her drink to her lips as she smiled across the table at him. She couldn’t really read him--which had always been an issue in their relationship--but she sipped at her drink and set it on the table before raising her eyebrows at him.

“It wasn’t weird in a bad way,” Nick said slowly, a smile pulling at his lips as he let his eyes take her in again. She hadn’t changed much. Her hair was darker than it was when they’d broken up. She’d died it a lighter shade that spring--he was finding blonde hairs all over his apartment long after she’d packed up her things.

“I’m okay with it being weird,” she said. “I mean, we you date someone for four years and then not speak for another four years--I don’t think things just go back to normal after that.”

Nick nodded and moved his head side to side, letting Y/N know that she was right. “You’ll be happy to know that Joe and Kevin are thrilled, though.”

“Joe already texted me,” she laughed, finishing the last of her beer as she tossed her head back in laughter.

Of course he had. The two of them had been inseparable. Another strain on their relationship. 

Y/N knew that had always bothered Nick--that she’d been so close with his brothers that she had her own relationship with them. It wasn’t that he was jealous, but Y/N had a knack for taking sides with Joe or Kevin and pissing Nick off. Something that now, Nick could laugh about.

“Of course he did,” he smiled.

At first, when Y/N offered to grab a drink with Nick that night in a bar near Joe’s apartment, he wanted to decline. Their coffee date had only been a day earlier and his head was still reeling from the small talk they’d performed.

Y/N wasn’t nervous this time--she wasn’t wrapped up in her own downfall and her feet felt a little more firmly planted on the ground, even when Nick admitted that he missed her.

And when they hugged goodbye that night, Y/N didn’t mind that Nick’s arms were wrapped around her shoulders, his chin resting on her head before he kissed the top of her hair. “I’m glad we did this,” he said.

“Me too,” she replied, though she didn’t really know what they meant by it.

She was comfortable with the not knowing, though, which was an unexpected (but welcome) change from the last few days. She walked home by herself, counting the blocks in her head as her feet hit the pavement one after another after another.

She rode the elevator up to her apartment and turned down the hall, reaching for her keys in her purse--when she noticed him sitting there. He was slumped on the floor beside her doormat, his head in his hands as if he’d been half-asleep. He shifted and raised his head when she said his name.

“Harry?”

His eyes were on her--he was completely still and seemed to be frozen in thought until he stood from the floor and swallowed. “Hi--sorry--I just, I figured I’d say it all in person instead of over text.”

table of contents

[80srockher]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch and Live-Commentary, Episode 1: Easy as Pirozhki!! The Grand Prix Final of Tears

*There are spoilers throughout.  I also make assumptions that anyone reading has already seen the episode or has a grasp of the content.*

Source: http://yurionicescreencaps.tumblr.com

The opening scene is so pretty.  Really sets a tone.  I went in knowing nothing about the anime first go-around, so I found Yuri and Victor’s grow/glow-ups montages interesting.  

This theme song is… not my favorite.  Maybe it’s the French horns?  That and too much synth.  I usually skip over it but want to give it a chance this go-around.

Heh, Victor and his gold blades to match his gold medal.  And his European af haircut.  Can’t remember the last time I saw an American past the age of 12 with bangs. No mistaking him for anything other than Eastern European.

Also, the poster on the left is for Victor, I believe.  Can he pull his leg that high in the air?  Was that featured and I forgot?  I’ll be on the lookout for it.

Also, looks like Jean JACK made it to Sochi and placed third here too, lolz.

Yes, please listen to your coach, Yuri.  Don’t poke the wound.  Stay off the internets.  ESPECIALLY the figure skating internets.  What little I remember from when I used to follow the sport is that it’s dramatic, to put it nicely.

I keep getting distracted by the utter Euro-ness of the Europeans in this show. The cut of Coach Celestino’s suit is so Italian I weep. He’s too smooth.

Yuri’s name tag has his name in Cyrillic as well?  Cute.

My first impression of Yuri was that he looks about 18 and that impression hasn’t changed.  Perhaps it’s the glasses, but he def looks youthful. I’m also someone who’s been accused of looking a decade+ younger than I actually am, so I can sympathize.

Speaking of sympathy – Yuri caved to pressure, binged ate before the competition while mourning his dog, then bombed his first trip to the Grand Prix final.  All in front of his idol.  Damnity damn damn.  Sorry, kid.

Is Cao Bin ever introduced on the show?  Something else I forgot, maybe?

Now, when I first saw this poor child crying in the bathroom, that’s when I knew the series was going to be much different from the light-hearted anime about figure skating I expected.  It got real deep real quick.

Yuri Plisetsky “The Russian Punk”.  Is this something the in-universe media refers to him as?  Because I only recall (JPN) Yuri saying it and only this once.

This screencap is during the scene where the journalist Marooka (sp?) is hassling Yuri about his future plans and instead of answering, Yuri can only stare at someone else’s puppy that reminds him of his dead Vicchan.

This baby is crying. Cry.ing.  This has been a tough day for poor Yuri, overall.

And he talks down to himself so much.  It’s all his fault he caved to pressure. He was an idiot to think he could meet his idol on the same playing field.   He’s come so far and still thinks so little of his accomplishments.

So, I understand this “one year later” is not really accurate, lol.  It’s just the new  year following the previous season.  I was confused initially about a number of soon-to-happen events before Yuri’s mental alter ego cleared it up.

So, per Minako’s voice actress, Yuri really is pronounced YOO-RI.  Cute.

Four Continents is… not a Grand Prix competition?  My figure skating knowledge is all rust now.

LOL, Minako does. Not. Play. And she wears a pinky ring.  My God, that death grip on poor Yuri.

It’s snowing outside the train station when Yuri and Minako leave.  So, it’s not unusual to snow in this region in March, but it’s highly unusual a month or so later. Man, hard to believe Yuri sat around for almost an entire month before the infamous video became viral.  More on that, later.

So, based on everyone’s interactions with Yuri so far, the only person who cares that he didn’t make it to the World Championships is him.  And he should care since he’s worked basically his entire life towards that goal.  But, he doesn’t appear to have let anyone down but himself, though he doesn’t act that way.

So, the fact that the family hot springs is named “Yu-topia”… did that influence Yuri’s name at all, I wonder?

Ha!  I wish I could have recorded the Japanese actor’s voice when he says this line.  He makes Yuri sound so done with it all, lol.  It’s the best.

Ok, so a number of very interesting and entertaining things happen in succession that I don’t feel like screencapping.  No hug between the littlest Katsuki and the senior Katsukis, even though he hasn’t been home in 5 years.  Fascinating. No doubt cultural (I’m guessing) but fascinating.  

Yuri’s mom basically calls Minako a drunk.  To her face. LOL.  But I imagine no one can get mad at this sweet lady.

Minako calls Yuri out on his weight gain in front of God and everybody.  Though, I think it’s more of a matter of his clothes no longer fitting due to said weight gain.  

But, his parents don’t care. Eat more pork cutlet bowls, Yuri! Welcome home!

Vicchan’s shrine is where they also store the unused treadmill.  Want to bet the only person to use it was Yuri?

Then older sis Mari-neechan appears with frosted tips.  I can appreciate a character that doesn’t beat around the bush (a trait she inherited from her mother, I imagine).  Welcome home, Yuri, but don’t sit on your ass.  Start thinking about your next move.    

Actually *loads headcanon* I suspect Mari doesn’t want Yuri to give up on skating.  The longer he stays at home, the more quitting becomes a possibility.

So, the Katsuki family hot springs resort (Inn?  Restaurant?) is the last one standing in town.  Very OT, but I wonder if the hot springs are still an attraction at all and are perhaps, government-owned?  Protected, used by tourists for a fee, perhaps?  I think about things like that.

Having never visited a hot spring, and based on the setting around Minako while she watches the World Championships on TV, it appears to be a place for people to come, soak, and lounge and grab a bite to eat if the mood strikes.  So, the Katsukis wait on people basically all day long.  Gotta be exhausting work.

Yuuuuuko!  The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu!  Yuri’s crush on her is hella cute.

A slight segue to Yuri’s perceived attraction to Yuko and what it could imply about his sexual identity.  Per his labeling of Yuko as a “Madonna,” I figure Yuri considers Yuko untouchable, perhaps even “too good” for him.  Yuko, just like Victor, is “ideal”.  For someone as self-conscious as Yuri, comparing any romantic prospects against his two ideals was probably a convenient excuse not to get *too* close to anyone, male or female.  That being said, he didn’t pursue Yuko.  Alcohol loosened enough of Yuri’s inhibitions to eventually openly flirt with Victor, but this is still an important distinction, IMO.  He pursued one of his ideals (in more ways than one, even going so far as to leave home to in hopes of becoming Victor’s equal) and left the other one behind.

Yuri idealizes/d Yuko, and comes to love Victor.  He’s gay.  Bi, at the least.  

I don’t feel confident in applying any other labels, because I’m a straight.  Yuri could fall under any number of categories as long it they include, IMO, same-sex attraction.

In actuality, Yuko is “introduced” to the audience as Yuri’s straight love interest, but that doesn’t last long.  Cute and clever, show creators.  Cute. And . Clever.

Then we find out, via flashback, a) how adorable they all were when they were little kids and b) Yuko wanted to see Yuri compete against Victor.  Yuko has been a profound influence on Yuri.

So, Victor.  This guy is in a class by himself.  The animators obviously invested a lot of time in his movements.  You can see why he leads the field even at 27.

Also, the creators had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to compose an original opera aria for a cartoon.  That was my next indicator that this was more than a cutesy figure skating anime.  

The song really is beautiful, too.  Probably my favorite in the soundtrack.

Who’s the last IRL skater to win 5 consecutive World Championships?  Michelle Kwan, maybe?  Who is Kwan’s male equivalent?  Back then, probably Alexei Yagudin?  May research. May not. 

Anyway, Victor is the Michelle Kwan of YOI-verse lol.

Hmm.  Here come the three brats.  Good God.  Poor Yuko and Takeshi lol.

So sweet to see Yuri’s childhood bully is his biggest fan now.

Sooo, Yuko’s triplets secretly record Yuri’s private performance, post it online (sometime before April 10, when Victor shows up), and things progress rather quickly from there...

Or do they?  It appeared to me that Yuri caught up with Yuko at the rink the same day he returned home.  Did he skate Victor’s routine for her that day, as well, or did it happen later?  Perhaps the triplets waited a few weeks to post the video, or else it took a few weeks to go viral.  Did Yuri turn off his phone for *weeks* to avoid the world?

Maybe he got home on March 30 and then the whole month of April just went to hell for him?  The possibilities...

LOL, I’m so SO mad the title of the video is “Katsuki Yuri TRIED to Skate Victor’s FS Program”. Those brats.

This might be the most unattractive Victor’s ever looked.  Severe close-ups aren’t flattering on anyone.  Welp, down the rabbit hole now.  

So, in the next scene it snows in April which doesn’t stop anyone from stripping naked to bathe in a hot spring, apparently.  Or it just doesn’t stop Victor.

#moneyshot

I like this ending theme much better.  It’s a head-bopper.  The Instagram reel kills me.  

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read through this stream of consciousness!  No idea how long it may take me to get through the rest.  I tip my hat to those who regularly and passionately participate in fandom.  It’s a lot of work!