#thought of this at like 3 am
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*creates until I can feel something again*
#anxiety#depression#mental illness#mental health#actually mentally ill#creativity#creative process#sometimes i don't feel#until the creative has been done#music on repeat#thought of this at like 3 am#3 am thoughts#why are all the mentally ill people artists they ask#i just wanna feel something#adhd#odd#i'm too tired for this#just add whatever mental illness you got here
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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long way home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#maybe doing bg studies is the activity of choice while waiting fr leaks its so good 2 zone out n not think fr hours#can't stress about canon if you're busy studying window grates and ac units#this ws gonna start as a more train station-y piece#but as i am wont to do i got swept up during my pinterest dive#brought me further and further in2 small town train crossings and i thought they looked so cute#so i am like. puts itfs there :)#i love the idea of them just . meandering whatever quiet town they end up settling down tgt in post-canon#discovering hidden alleys n meeting all the strays holding hands th entire time....#i am manifesting PEACE and TRANQUILITY goddamn it#also i realized after the last domestic itfs series tht my use of red is at an all time low?????? leaning heavy in2 the green/yellow lately#here also . but i like the lil pops of red i included i think it centers them#happy w this!! happy w my me!! as long as i ignore the fact that indoor environments exist maybe backgrounds arent all tht bad :3
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long
#genshin impact#clervie#ngl i have so many thoughts about an older clrv's design but at the same time artistically im not that creative </3#mostly tried to make her look more like a direct contrast to arlecchino's design (which was already present but we ignore that)#cause arle's design is mostly very sharp and angular while i'd imagine clervie's being much more rounded out and softer#like they are the round vs pointy cat meme in human form#the hair was really tricky cause on one hand much like everyone else we dont really keep the same hairstyle our entire lives#butttttt at the same time idk i feel like her long hair flowing down (and her headband) are very recognizable parts of her#so i decided to not change much (also cause i dont trust myself making multiple drastic changes without changing their identity too much)#also halfways through coloring I realized she's kinda giving crucabena outfit wise but we ignore that </3#anyways clervie would def be a support/healer character if actually playable (leaning more towards buffer support imo)#ITS A MASSIVE 50/50 IF SHE WOULD BE A HYDRO OR ANEMO USER but i decided hydro for the time being cause it compliments HOTH's dpses more#aka Arlecchino Lyney and partially Freminet since if i remember correctly he's more physical based but cryo nonetheless#i just really like the idea of Clervie's passive being along the lines of boosting stats/dmg if there's HOTH members present in a team#anyways sorry for the text wall I just really need to be kicked out of the kitchen#i am UNDERCOOKING the food#character design is not my passion </3
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Simon had him and you all convinced that it was just sex and nothing more.
“No attachment.” He always said, everytime — sometimes so hurried and forgotten that it's just mumbled against your mouth before he's shoving his tongue down your throat.
Sometimes with so much urgency that it's lost between your moans, no attachment, babe, no attachment. And you believed him because it was really just sex, wasn't it ? There were no pretty dates and no fancy dinner at ritz, maybe those poorly wrapped ones he pretended he had not ordered and takeouts he brought along...but oh please, no attachments!
But maybe sometimes about those walks in the city where he would not so subtly grasp your hand, and you would catch him stealing glances at you while a teenager fiddled with his guitar, rhyming she came, my world lit with narcotic, I am addict.
No attachment but Simon's standing outside your workspace when it's raining —“I thought you might need it.” holding up the umbrella but those two words were there again when you were knee deep in the passanger seat and he was eating you out... because it was casual, right ? No attachment.
And it really didn't burn and ached until you got sick, real sick — puking your guts out and coughing until your ribs gave up, surely he wasn't the best role model of no attachment when he was panting to death as he picked your unconscious frame from the floor, you still remember the faint whisper of his ‘please don't leave me, please, please don't —’ over and over.
And if he wanted for no attachment then he should be gone. Gone and not come back because it was just sex...
Simon shouldn't be mopping the floor, and stirring your soup and touching your forehead every five minutes.
No attachment then why he's loading your grocery and taking out trash and doing your laundry, why he's wiping your tears and telling you it's going to be alright.
Why he's not leaving like he always did because there were no attachment right, but he's right here, tucking you in bed and washing your hair and reading you book.
“Is it some eccentric joke ? Why this Zaid is always growling ?—also when you get alright... we're gonna try it out, lovie.”
You blushed, but it wasn't just what he was suggesting but that word, it felt good.
“S-say it again.” You whispered, shifting your head in pillow. Simon turned back a page he was reading from, your scrunchie on his wrist.
“Zaid growled—” You screwed your face,“—oh, we'll try it—”
“last word. Your last word.”
“Oh.” He said, ��Lovie...you don't like it ?”
You shaked your head, sniffing very unsexy-ly
“Call me that...I love it.” Simon pushed up the book up his face, his neck was pulsing with his many veins and you knew the blush that would be blooming on his hard face. Cute.
“Again.” You tilted your head, to get a look at his flushed out face.
“Okay Lovie...sleep now.” He grumbled, flicking your bedside lamp off and bookmarking the book with one of your scrunchie he removed from his wrist.
“Huh...Good night baby.” You said, waiting to be corrected, waiting for those two words to come and upside down it all.
But they never came, like they never even existed, never had a meaning to them at all.
No attachment, lost forever in darkness.
“G'night lovie.” He said so sweetly, and when you closed your eyes this time, you only saw daylight.
Grim Reaper! Simon
Masterlist
#Someone's listening to ‘HER’ and it's not me....and those cringe lyrics —please blame my 13 year old who thought she could become a singer#like i skimmed btw my journal and absolutely went...nah that couldn't be me ?!?!?!!#anyway i am so sick and only lovie works for me <3#simon ghost riley x reader#cod simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#ghost call of duty#call of duty#call of duty x reader#call of duty x you#simon riley ghost#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley fluff#folkloregurl fics🪩#ghost x reader#ghost cod#ghost riley#cod mwii#cod mw2#sick!reader#sickfic#simon ghost smut#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost fluff
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🏳️🌈 day 5 ~ cursed or not
Dean was barely seventeen years old when he had to burn the remains of the nuns. He still remembers the heat of the fire on his dirty fingers, the grey smoke making his eyes all wet and swollen and sore (it wasn’t the smoke, it wasn't).
That’s what love must feel like, he though: blistering, painful, unkind.
Maybe they really were cursed. Maybe he is cursed too.
#me when i decide to attempt a piece that's so above my skill level#but i tried to write a little something to go with it sdhshdf be nice 2 me i beg of you i am going to cry#also. my thoughts re: j*hn's journal is that it's canon only when i feel like it <3#destielpride#destiel pride#dean winchester#dean winchester fanart#spncreatorsdaily#spn fanart#spn art#supernatural fanart#supernatural art#my art
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okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.
yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything
((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))
and then they fucked nasty the end
#my art#my writing#who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life)#i dont know what this even is#i just work here#disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like.#most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis#so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps#i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction#if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#gabv1el#blood#love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor
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got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?
webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.
it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere
#i thought it was made by the creator of 'O Human Star' for some reason but apparently not?#goddammit goddammit goddammit#'i don't have to write down the title of this piece of media i encountered in my formative years bc i'll always remember it'#*cut to ten years later frantic googling*#fun fact 'a.i.' is now a completely useless search term#google in general is useless#and stuff i read 3+ years ago regularly vanishes from the internet#bookmarks are not enough! if you like indie media--download that shit! buy digital/physical copies while you can#save it to the cloud back it up and organize that shit!!!#keep a list of the stuff you read (organized by date/media type and possibly with keywords if you want it to be useful longterm)#(or a spreadsheet even if you're like me and rabidly consume short stories/comics like a pack of amnesiac piranhas on a feeding frenzy)#(that stuff PILES UP over the years ok. if you wanna make sure you'll be able to find it again a decade later--curation is key)#because art WILL touch your soul and then vanish into the void leaving naught but a 404 Error in its wake#i am an old man shaking my fist at the kids on my lawn but the kids on my lawn are me and my longterm digital planning skills circa 2012
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Ghost who's gone prematurely grey due to his lovely past (and Soap who doesn't mind)
#and other weird thoughts at 3 am ! :)#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#soap x ghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#my art#cod fanart#taking a break from writing ghoap by drawing ghoap#theyre in my brain and wont Leave#wisp when drawing ghostsoap standing stagnant next to each other from the waist up yet again: is this art?#also would like to repeat its 3 am im sorry if this doesnt mke sense#googled about greying prematurely but gave up when it required reading words#so we just pretend this makes sense
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Cryptic visions of space and time...
#essek#essek thelyss#critical role#mighty nein#caleb widogast#this works on its own but it's actually part of a bigger fancomic idea i have#but i still have to figure out if i even want to invest so much time into something like that lmao.. prob not#i already made a concept document for fun and its way too long.. unfortunately i rly like it#i rly believe in the idea tbh i just dont know if its physically possible because i work fulltime LMAO#its a lot of fun tho#here i am 3 years late idk why the essek thoughts bubble out NOW ignore me
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napscallions
#isat spoilers#because of type. god forbid they find out loop SCISSORS#sloopis#isiloop#sifloop#secret third option#you get it <3#i want to chuck them down the stairs and watch them sloop (hah.) down like a slinky (affectionate)#siffrin= weighted blanket. loop= source of heat -> FATAL nap comfyness. enabling each other. they are NOT getting up#i just wanted to draw them being bonded cats liquid edition i have no thoughts i am just sleepy#and isa getting armful of boneless. you've ever been handed TWO ragdoll cats? magical experience. viscous warm fluff soup truly#sometimes the vibes demand messy doodle no cleanup no cleanup allowed messy messy messy <3#maiora draws#maiora goes sleep now#ilyyyyyyyy buhbyeeeeee mwaaaaaaa
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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[Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.]
#Isat#sasasap#sasasaap spoilers#sasasaap siffrin#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#in stars and time#HEEEYYYYYYYY YALLLLL.....#This is a lot bigger than I thought it would be but lmao here you go <3#sorry for how big it is I dont. know how to format this Tumblr wise???#I dont usually do big ass projects like this and then post them#Also if you get the reference youre fucking awesome as hell btw#despite both mira and Isa in frame.. I am not fucking tagging them <3#this is all about them but they are also not part of this so lol sorrryyyyy#also i made a slight mistake but you dont fucking see it so thats all that matters to me#(several mistakes Im ignoring because this took fucking DAYS)#Anyway hope this doesnt take over the dash my apologies ahead of time if it does </3
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I just want to see him again.
#persona 3#persona#fanart#p3#yukari takeba#artists on tumblr#p3fes#persona 3 the answer#the answer spoilers#<- tags I never thought I would use in the year 2024#me when the 17 year old going through extreme trauma mourning the death of her best friend/boyfriend isnt making rational decisions#currently getting ready to fight the war on yukari in the answer on the side of yukari in the answer#I am not ready to go through this scene again but with good english voice acting#even with the honestly really bad voice acting in fes I still tear up when she says that line#anyway free my girl she did all of that but she deserves better anyway#me: I should try to practice drawing hands in a fun way like while drawing my fave characters!#also me: draws yukari having a breakdown
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chair + helmet for funsies
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#xmen 92#krakoa#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#need to practice drawing this helmets 3/4ths angle hi#gotta make this post quick cause i told my bro we'd carve pumpkins before i left for the week#BUUUUTTTT ANYWAY yeah while i was browsing my comic shop the first time i ran across this story and thought it was cute#it was the tas/92 adaption of krakoa but i only skimmed it#i thought of picking it up at some point but as for now it lives as a memory in my brain. i do wanna look at it closer tho#tbh at some point i think i wanna try to do a design for charles that features his actual krakoa design but with a chair/hover chair#i think itd be fun cause ngl i always like drawing his chair and not getting to with krakoa stuff makes me sad#if i get to that i dont think it'll be like. a staple with my krakoa art but just somethin to do for fun#ok i think thats all for now. i think im gonna do a movie charles doodle page later cause I Am Once Again Working Out His Face#so fingers crossed ith that plan !!!! for now its pumpkin time BYE
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