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inkblackorchid · 7 months

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What the hell happened with Crow: an autopsy (Part 3)

Trying my absolute damnedest to finish this one and part four sooner now that I've finally covered the Pearson backstory. *Ehem* Hello again! I hope you're ready for more yelling about a certain spiky-haired Blackbird aficionado, because I sure am.

To get some things out of the way first, though, here come the usual disclaimers:

This is part three of a series of posts about hpw Crow's character was handled during 5Ds' whole run. You can find part one here and part two here. Reading them technically isn't required, but things sure will make a whole lot more sense if you do. (Bring snacks, they're long.)

This post isn't meant as a Crow hate post, nor is it meant to convince people who didn't vibe with his character to change their mind. This is my very long winded-attempt to analyse the writing decisions surrounding his character as best I can, without too much bias. That said, full disclosure, I do personally like Crow, so there's a good chance that will shine through whether I want it to or not. But also, I'm trying to have fun here, so please cut me some slack.

In case you haven't read my previous Crow posts (no shade there) and/or still believe the many, many production rumours that have been haunting the 5Ds fandom since the show's original run, please let me burst your bubble(s) with some insanely comprehensive research by someone over on Reddit (thanks again to @mbg159, who's also here on tumblr): No, Crow was not meant to be a dark signer, or the final boss of season 1, and his spike in screentime has nothing to do with his cards. And also, No, Aki didn't get less presence in the narrative because her VA got pregnant. What if you don't have the time to read either of those long posts? In that case, please take away this simple, very easy rebuttal of why the above theories are bullshit: Their would-be "key points" don't line up with the 5Ds production timeline. At all. Not even vaguely. So please, ditch them, let them die, seeing them still talked about makes me feel like I'm gonna break out in hives. And for the love of god, don't use this post or in fact anything else I post to pit Aki and Crow against each other. Both characters have their strengths and their reasons to love them. I am not the least bit interested in starting any character discourse. So please, spare my sanity. Ok? Thank you.

And now, we can get to the good part at last. In my previous post in this series, I stopped my analysis at episode 95, a.k.a. part two of the Pearson backstory. In this post, I will thus be picking up right after, at the very start of the WRGP—with the Team Unicorn match. The goal for this post is to analyse Crow's part in this particular arc, then provide some food for thought/ideas on how things that rubbed some people the wrong way could have been improved.

More below the readmore, and I give you not just my usual warning, but an extra warning, too: The universe will not let me write short things, so tread with caution, stay hydrated, and expect a veritable dissertation below, because this post feels long even to me, who has long since lost her sense of length when it comes to text. (But I'm well aware this is the result of me refusing to split the WRGP part into two separate posts, so I take full responsibility for that.)

Since we left off right after I chewed through all the issues with Crow's rather belated backstory and especially Black-Winged Dragon last time, we jump right into the thick of things now, with episodes 96 and 97, which serve as the preamble to Team 5Ds' first WRGP duel against Team Unicorn. Crow only gets two major things to do during this short stretch of episodes, the first being that he's Team Unicorn's gateway into roping Yusei into a duel during practice, which helps them set up a ruse that baits the 5Ds gang into sending Jack as their first wheeler because they think Jack's deck is best suited to countering Andre's—which, as it later turns out, it is not.

(Arguably the screenshot where Crow gives off the strongest Youngest Sibling Vibes during the entire show. Look at him, all chastised.)

Crow's second role is an odd one that I argue only he out of the main three guys could fulfill at this point: He's the one to get injured right before the Team Unicorn match, rendering him unable to compete, which leads to Aki offering to take his place for that particular match.

(Pictured: Bird Boy regretting all his life choices up until that point simultaneously.)

Here's the first moment I have to talk about in greater detail. See, the thing is, I don't know what the fandom consensus on Crow getting injured here is, but I argue that this moment was a (rare) strategic decision made by the writers at this point. Crow's injury accomplished several things: 1. It sets up the mystery of why his back wheel locked up out of nowhere, which is later paid off through Team Catastrophe's shenanigans. 2. It organically allows Aki to take his spot without introducing any argument about which of them is "worthier" of having that third spot. 3. Through this, it also allows him to actually bounce off Aki for once (a point I will come back to below, during the Team Catastrophe section). And 4. It allows the show to (TECHNICALLY) pay off the setup they did in letting Aki get her turbo duelling license and train with the boys. (Generally, Crow's and Aki's character writing intersects a bit during the pre-Diablo incident WRGP section, something I'll touch on below.)

Moreover, I think this is also the only match where they could have done something like this, and the reason for it is very simple: Team Unicorn are one-off opponents whose presence in the narrative is only relevant as far as it concerns the WRGP, and they are also one of the first teams the 5Ds gang faces. If we think about the opponents Team 5Ds has after this, it becomes very obvious why Crow could only be injured during this duel: If they had tried pulling this stunt later, it would have forced the writers to pull Aki centre stage during a much more plot-relevant duel than this one (which they were apparently allergic to, but let's not go there), not to speak of the fact that it would have forced them to sideline someone they were definitely trying to sell as the third portion of their protagonist trifecta, which would have probably been awkward. (If not for the fact that they literally did this to Crow later in the show, but I'll get there. Yes, I know there's a lot already that I'll still be "getting to".)

The thing is, whether or not it feels like an awkward writing choice to make so early in the big tournament of this arc (you be the judge of that), Crow's injury finally allows him to have a few interesting character moments for once. For one, there is his immediate disappointment about being forced to stay on the sidelines. Aside from the fact that this is a human and relatable reaction to his injury, it stings even more for the character than it does for us as the audience, because Crow got a moment where the Satellite orphans he previously took care of cheer him on for the tournament literally within the same two Team Unicorn preamble episodes.

(Say what you will, this is just stupid cute.)

So when Aki eventually offers to take his place during the match, he's understandably apprehensive—and again, this is human. It may seem mean in the moment, but from a character writing standpoint, it's a natural response. Plus, it's certainly more interesting to watch the group have a bit of conflict among themselves, rather than everyone immediately jumping straight to acceptance. It introduces tension, and, for however brief a moment, raises the question of whether Crow might refuse to let Aki take his spot. This is also the point where Aki and Crow's character writing officially intertwines, at least for the stretch of episodes between the Team Unicorn duel and the Team Catastrophe duel. And you know what? Say what you will, but I think it does a world of good for both of them. The 5Ds cast, as lovely as it is, doesn't get a lot of room to bounce off one another where it concerns personal matters anymore, once the WRGP starts. Arguably, they get little time to bounce off one another outside of plot-related discussions at all once this portion of the show comes around. The characters are treated as "fully developed", and thus, the writing largely doesn't take the time to show us how the group naturally interacts with one another anymore, especially not with how many side characters (chiefly Bruno and Sherry), antagonists, and duels the show now has to juggle. So Aki and Crow getting even a smidgen of personal conflict here is honestly a breath of fresh air. The interaction kicked off by Crow's injury isn't completely plot-irrelevant, like most character interactions during the pre-WRGP were, but it's not something that feels like it's only there to explain the machinations of the antagonists to the audience, either.

Let me go through this in a little more detail to illustrate my point.

So, episode 97. Crow storms off after Aki offers to take his spot, while Aki heads out to prepare her runner, intent on helping her team. The personal motivations here are already very nice and reflective of these characters as we've gotten to know them up until this point: Crow's angry and disappointed (mostly at himself, which is noteworthy!) because he can't compete. And specifically, he's angry because not being able to compete in the first match means he can't show the kids his duelling like he wanted to. Then there's Aki, whose offer to take Crow's place is every bit as much of a strategic suggestion as it is a bid for acceptance from her. Acceptance, which is the thing she's been all about ever since she was introduced, basically. So she pleads with her friends to accept her, see her as an equal, and allow her to duel for the team, which they do. And Crow initially throws a fit, but then...

(Listen. You have no idea how much Crow and Aki getting to actually be friends means to me.)

He comes around to the idea and not only gives Aki his express permission to take his spot, he even coaches her a bit right before the match. Moreover, as his text states above, he literally entrusts her with the kids' hopes, as well as his own. This quickly brings both of them full circle: Crow, who already has a theme of legacy attached to him, passes the torch to Aki for this match, and in so doing, offers her the acceptance she asked her teammates for. (Frankly, stuff like this makes me wonder why on earth people were so eager to pit these two against each other, when their shared moments are actually some of the best-written during the often rocky WRGP arc.) So, though this injury pulls Crow out of the duel, it, funnily enough, ties him better into the story and to the other characters.

From there, we then dive into the Team Unicorn match proper. And well, being injured as he is, Crow doesn't exactly get a whole lot to do there. However, since we're in the portion where his and Aki's writing overlaps a bit, I do need to go on a quick tangent about what Aki's portion of this duel means for Crow.

(Sigh. Okay, buckle up for a quick and rough detour.)

First, something I need to get out of the way and off my chest: I have made no secret out of the fact that I hate Aki's portion of this duel, save for the moment where she summons Stardust. Hell, this duel segment is pretty much universally hated by anone who has even a smidgen of sympathy for Aki. It's regarded by many as the very moment the writers axed Aki's character, and for good reason: After all the buildup surrounding her getting her turbo duelling license, the supposed "payoff" of it all is that she gets to duel against Andre for a depressing four turns before being defeated immediately, which leads into Yusei's frustrating portion of this duel, which, to my knowledge, isn't regarded any more kindly by fans than Aki's segment. It's a massive let-down, simply put. But the thing is, it's not just a let-down for Aki. After all, the brief character conflict she had with Crow about taking his spot here can and should be regarded as part of the setup for this moment, and as such, it can also be considered to be wasted the second Aki leaves the track after barely making an impact whatsoever.

However, I do need to mention that I have a theory on why this segment was handled the way it was, mostly because I feel like Crow's later interaction with Aki, shortly after she's out of the duel, underlines it (mind that this is just my personal theory, though, after having watched the show perhaps more times than can be considered sane): I think there is a cultural aspect to this duel. See, the word ganbaru, which anime subtitles often like to translate with "do your best" or something along the lines, has a greater significance than the translation implies. Though it's not inaccurate per se, there's more than just the idea of doing your best behind ganbaru, because it's something like an umbrella term not just for doing your best and succeeding, it's also the idea that you have to keep trying, even if you don't succeed. It's related to tenacity, to persistence, even in the face of terrible odds. And make no mistake, I don't mean the Japanese equivalent of "if at first you don't succeed, try again" here. I genuinely do mean "you have to keep trying, even if you fail". There is no guarantee of success here. And for that reason, the idea behind ganbaru is also that it's not simply the success that has value, but the effort made in the attempt to attain it, regardless of the result. (Side note: I tried to scrounge up a resource I could link to that nicely explains this concept, but unfortunately, all the promising articles were paywalled and the ones I learned it from require institutional access to lecture materials.) And this is where I will posit the tentative theory that this is exactly what the 5Ds writers were going for with Aki's segment of the duel—it was very much meant to be the payoff for her turbo duelling license setup and her plea to take Crow's place, but it wasn't so much her success that was meant to be valued, as the effort she (and by extension, Crow) made for and during this duel. And this is where Crow's little pep-talk with Aki after she's out of the duel comes in, because it feels like it supports exactly this interpretation:

(This is essentially the whole sequence. Note how Crow, despite so fervently entrusting Aki with his and his kids' hopes prior, doesn't admonish her for making a bad showing in the slightest.)

I don't think it gets any clearer than it is here. During this sequence, Aki is painfully aware of how poor her performance was against Andre, especially after she was so insistent on duelling at first, and despite having been entrusted with Stardust by Yusei, to boot. Yet, Crow doesn't have a single word of criticism to offer her. Instead, he even tells her she did well and that nobody's perfect. It very much reads as valuing Aki's effort over the result she achieved to me, and thus seems perfectly in line with the idea behind ganbaru.

However, if we assume I'm correct about the intentions behind this writing choice, we come back to why Aki's segment of the duel is so hotly debated and why it may have arguably been a disservice not just to her, but to Crow, too, character-wise. Because the majority of non-Japanese watchers of the show culturally don't have a 1:1 applicable concept like ganbaru, this writing choice was more likely to fall flat for them, because to someone who wasn't raised to understand the idea behind it, Aki's portion of the duel doesn't register as a payoff; it registers as a massive disappointment, because it feels like the writers, who had so much setup already done for her, let her fail on purpose, just to later let Yusei attain his arguably dumbest victory of the entire show. Thus, they also essentially waste the conflict she had with Crow about whether she would be allowed to take his spot in the first place, because with how little she achieved during the duel, she may as well not have gotten on the track. (Figuratively speaking. Please Do Not take this to mean I would prefer a version where Aki hadn't duelled at all. That would be worse. It would be infinitely worse.)

(Also, side note: If this post reaches anyone who's actually Japanese and still remembers this duel, I would genuinely love your input on whether my interpretation is feasible or just wishful thinking. Did you interpret Aki's part of the duel the way I did here? Or did it fall flat for you, too? If what I'm saying here feels like an absolute reach, please tell me. I'm honestly just trying my best to make things make sense here and remembered this concept from some classes I took in Japanese studies at uni.)

With all that in mind, it doesn't come as a surprise that some people were just as frustrated with the way Crow was barred from duelling here as they were with Aki's segment or Yusei's later victory. But it is what it is—the Unicorn duel concludes the way we all know it to, and with that, the show begins setting up the following duel with Team Catastrophe.

The only other, non duel-related, noteworthy thing that happens between the Unicorn and the Catastrophe match is a brief appearance at the Poppo Time by Sherry, who admonishes the signers for celebrating their victory early and warns them about Iliaster. Why do I bring this up? Because it's one of less than five times that Crow is in the same room with Sherry. Remember, Sherry. The girl he later, during the finale, talks out of working for the big bad evil guy because he suddenly seems to have such a deep understanding of her motivations and character that he can accurately deduce what argument will make her understand that working with Z-ONE won't give her what she's looking for. So, does Crow get a meaningful interaction with her during this scene, then? Nope. Not even in the slightest. Crow says exactly one sentence that is aimed at Sherry during her appearance, and that sentence is this:

(What a meaningful conversation!)

And yes, I will come back to Crow and Sherry's dynamic in particular. But we'll save that for the Ark Cradle arc post. For now, just keep it in mind as we move along to the other WRGP duels.

So. Team Catasrophe.

During the duel against this team, which was previously only hinted at ominously, the writing for Crow and Aki overlaps again, and this starts with the writers essentially doing a complete switcheroo of what came before: Instead of Crow getting injured and being unable to compete, it's Aki who crashes, ends up in the hospital, and is thus forced to give up her spot during the duel. (This also goes hand in hand with her suddenly losing her powers, which we are given absolutely zero explanation for, but let's not talk about that clusterfuck here. If you're interested in my opinions about that particular trainwreck, I have a rant for you.) Additionally, it's during this stretch of episodes (103-105, which is a whopping four episodes less than Team Unicorn got) that we find out that not only Aki's crash, but Crow's previous one, too, were both sabotage, caused by the rather unscrupulous Team Catastrophe by way of a special card that can cause real damage even when there is no psychic duellist present. (A card we also find out was given to them by Placido/Primo, but this is irrelevant for both Aki and Crow.) Crow's reaction to this piece of information, particularly once Aki gets injured due to the same thing, is where things get interesting for him again, because he gets pissed, to say the least.

(A moment I imagine firebirdshippers must have been positively delighted about.)

Here, I have to reiterate an earlier point: Think what you will of Team Catastrophe, of Aki's crash, and of the sequence where her powers suddenly don't work, but this moment here, where Crow gets angry on her behalf and swears to duel Team Catastrophe into submission—not because he wants his kids to cheer for him, or because he wants to prove himself, but as revenge for his friend—is one of sadly only a handful of moments the writers use to show the strengthened relationships between the individual members of Team 5Ds after the dark signers arc. It's one of the precious few scenes that actually shows, rather than tells us or lets us search for scraps in the subtext, that the signers, and the members of Team 5Ds as a whole, care for each other outside of revolving around Yusei like planets around the sun. Even if it's laughably small, it's at least a hint that there are individual friendships between the other signers, too, that they all stick around one another for reasons beyond gravitating towards Yusei for one reason or another. And for that alone, I'm grateful that they put this here, even if Team Catastrophe was otherwise so ridiculous and made such a bad showing at their actual match that they could barely be taken seriously as antagonists at all.

Speaking of which. The actual meat of the matter. The Team Catastrophe match. What does Crow do here? Well, he duels! Even though he wasn't supposed to, for injury-related reasons. What both his participation as well as the actual duel accomplish, though, are that they not only showcase previously established character traits of Crow's again, but they also make a (possibly unintended) callback to a previous, major duel Crow took part in: His dark signer duel against Bommer/Greiger. Where and how? Let's see.

Firstly, Crow's participation. The reactions of the other characters to this make it very evident that Team 5Ds did not plan for this, with Yusei and Jack even going as far as to say they "had no choice" but to let Crow duel, because he insisted. This is perfectly in line with the stubbornness we already know from him at this point—a stubbornness that was also a major reason for why he took Bommer on and later continued his duel with said man, despite Yusei showing up and telling him he shouldn't be duelling a dark signer.

Secondly, there's the manoeuvring thing, and here's where I can call attention to a fun tidbit: The WRGP isn't what introduces the concept of manual mode during turbo duels to the audience. It's Crow. During his duel with Bommer. Being crafty and a bit shrewd as he is, Crow, during said duel in the DS arc, purposefully switches to manual mode when he duels Bommer, because he figures that attacks that can deal real damage can probably be evaded if you actually have control over your runner and aren't stuck in autopilot.

(Don't believe me? Here it is. And frankly, it is somewhat hilarious, yet also very fitting that Crow is the only one who thinks to do this during a duel with a dark signer.)

The reason this particular bit is relevant during the Team Catastrophe duel is because Crow essentially repeats this trick here. Of course, it's a bit less impactful now, given that manual mode is standard for WRGP duels, but still: Due to Hook, the Hidden Knight, Crow is forced to pay attention to the track and manually evade the monster's attempts to make his back wheel lock up during the duel, mirroring how he thought to manually evade Bommer's attacks during the DS arc.

Thirdly, there's the revenge angle, and this one is a particularly juicy callback. Remember, Crow's major reason for taking on Team Catastrophe, despite being injured, is that he wants to get revenge for Aki. This directly parallels how his major reason for duelling Bommer during the DS arc was that he wanted revenge for his kids, whom he believed to be dead at that point in time. (It also, interestingly, establishes a bit of a connection to his deck, which boasts a fair amount of revenge effects, but I'll not get into that here, seeing as I've talked about Crow's cards a bit before.)

Keep in mind, despite all the things listed above that this duel accomplishes, it's also by far the shortest WRGP duel. It lasts a whole six turns, total, which is ludicrous compared to the likes of 27-turn Team Unicorn, 26-turn Team Taiyou, or 25-turn Team Ragnarok. And I don't think it's controversial to say that the Catastrophe guys are probably the most forgettable WRGP Team, too. Yet, somehow, despite all its shortcomings in terms of memorable antagonists and plot relevance, this is one of the best duels of the WRGP where Crow's character writing is concerned. Now, I'll be perfectly candid: Coming into this post, I did not expect the Team Catastrophe duel, of all things, to end up being as good at actually showcasing Crow's character and his ties to other characters (who aren't Yusei) as it was, but here we are. And we had better hold on to the good the Team Unicorn - Catastrophe segment did for Crow, because the next thing that's coming up is a harsh break from the WRGP, starting with the sudden appearance of Placido's home-engineered army of killer duel robots. And what does Crow get to do during this part?

Uh. Well.

(Pictured: Bird Boy being demoted to benchwarmer while the city's being ransacked by murder duel robots.)

Nothing. A whole lot of nothing, is what.

During the duel robot invasion, we only ever flash back to Crow to ascertain that he is, in fact, useless during this part of the show, something he shares in common with Ruka, Rua, and Aki here, because all of them get pretty much nothing to do while Yusei finally gets the hang of accel synchro. Granted, Aki gets to save a little girl at the hospital, but in comparison to Yusei's lengthy, plot-heavy duel with Placido, this feels like a consolation prize. And for once, Jack is only marginally better off, too, because sure, he gets to beat up a couple of robots, but that's it, really.

Where Crow is concerned, his plot relevance doesn't actually resume once the Placido duel finishes, though. (And neither does Rua's, Ruka's, or Aki's, while we're at it.) Because wouldn't you know it, the next big thing directly after the duel robot invasion are the Red Nova episodes, where three out of five signers (Crow, Aki, and Ruka, unsurprisingly) are removed from the screen almost in their entirety again while Jack gets his much-needed dragon upgrade so he can keep up with Yusei, in order to uphold his status as a classic, almost-evenly-matched yugioh rival.

Speaking of upgrades and dragons, let's make a quick detour while our protag and rival duo take their express vacation to the Nazca plains. It is, of course, no secret that no signer outside of Yusei and Jack ever got a dragon upgrade within the anime. (No, I'm not forgetting about Life Stream Dragon. But that one, unlike Shooting Star Dragon and Red Nova Dragon, was a.) teased all the way back in the DS arc and b.) didn't have a unique summoning method or some other gimmick that made it an "elevated" synchro. So I'm discounting Life Stream as a "proper" dragon upgrade on purpose.) Is this the point where I start arguing that Crow should have gotten one, then? Well, not quite. Not with the writing the show canonically gave us, at least—after all, with how late Black-Winged Dragon was introduced, it would have been bonkers to upgrade him here already, if even at all. However, I do argue that the way the show hands only Yusei and Jack upgrades seems a bit... off. Now, I know why only those two get upgrades, or at least I think I do. After all, they're the central protag/rival duo, and within the framework of the character archetypes the larger yugioh canon has created for itself, this would have always made them the first, if not the only candidates for dragon upgrades. What feels a bit off to me, though, is that specifically the 5Ds cast feels like it... chafes a bit against those character archetypes, for lack of a better word. The problem is this: The signers, as far as the first two arcs are concerned, are sold to us as equals who all have very powerful ace monsters. Yes, Jack and Yusei are still undoubtedly the best duellists among them, but not on account of having uber-powerful extra special monsters that were acquired through supernatural means that are categorically inaccessible to the other signers. However, with the appearance of Shooting Star and Red Nova, this changes. While Yusei and Jack were previously and would have always been the two guys who had a Special dynamic with a capital "S" on account of their character archetypes, their acquisition of the dragon upgrades—and even more so, the lack of upgrades their fellow signers receive—now decidedly puts them in a different power bracket and skews the balance between previous, supposedly "equal" characters. (Which, unfortunately, is yet another thing that makes everyone else easier to sideline.)

Why do I bring all this up in a post dedicated to Crow? Because this new power imbalance arguably impacts him more than the other signers—because he's Team 5Ds' second wheeler and doesn't miss another WRGP match from here on out. Thus, that power imbalance is felt in the upcoming duels, where Yusei and Jack bust out Shooting Star and Red Nova like it's nothing, while Crow is left manoeuvring with the somewhat underpowered Black-Winged Dragon and whatever else he can come up with. This is also why I claimed that the show did sideline Crow in some aspects further above. Because while some parts of his writing go to great pains to establish him as part of a protagonist trifecta that is now supposed to take centre stage before the other characters, he also permanently lives in Jack and Yusei's shadow, ultimately barred not just from reaching equal status as a signer (due to his late and rocky introduction and dragon acquisition), but also barred from becoming the equal of his foster brothers as a duellist. Frankly, I'm surprised the show didn't make this a plot point, because the first thing my mind jumps to when I think about this is whether Crow felt left behind after his brothers acquired such immensely powerful, special cards. But more on my personal writing ideas later. For now, let's just put a pin in the power-imbalance thing.

So, when is Crow back on screen in any meaningful role, then? (Note that I mean this as literally as possible. As per my discussion about "screentime" and my gripes about it in part two, I gloss over the parts where Crow is on screen, but could be traded for any other signer or even a lamppost without affecting the scene at all.)

Well, the next thing Crow gets to do isn't exactly glorious, but it sure is funny.

(I want you all to remember that he has to wear this costume and play this part in Team 5Ds' absurd plan to capture Yaeger/Lazar because he lost at rock-paper-scissors. This will never not be funny to me.)

Ignoring the hilarious outfit and Crow playing the bait at a fabricated cup ramen promo event meant to lure Yaeger in, bird boy does actually get something that's not just for funsies to do during the two episodes where Team 5Ds is trying to get more information about Iliaster: He gets to have a duel revanche against Yaeger, who, if we remember the DS arc, ditched him the last time they squared off. Much like the Team Catastrophe duel, this one, too, calls back to previous duels Crow has had: For one, it's the obvious conclusion to his unfinished, first duel with Yaeger. And for two, Crow repeats a "trick" (for lack of a better term) here that is also unique to him: losing on purpose, which we remember from his duel with Lyndon.

(Identical-looking clown family jumpscare be upon ye.)

And again, much like getting injured for the Team Unicorn duel, I argue that this story beat here is something that could also only have been accomplished with Crow. Because he's the only one who has previously duelled Yaeger, firstly, because not wanting to make a child cry by beating their dad in a duel makes sense for him as a character due to him being a family-oriented person who loves children, secondly, and because losing on purpose in this scenario is a tactic that would seem out of character from anyone else, thirdly. (We recall, the only times Jack and Yusei, respectively, ever consider/offer to lose on purpose is when the lives of people close to them are on the line, in the shape of Carly/Rally. As for the others, aside from not being present, Aki, Rua, and Ruka are so heavily sidelined at this point that they would have never been an option for this. And if his writing is anything to go by, Bruno is mostly purposefully forbidden from accomplishing Plot Things, especially through duels, while he's Bruno.) But hey, due to the way this episode is set up, losing on purpose works out for Crow, because it convinces Yaeger to stop hiding and actually share his knowledge about Iliaster. This, by the way, is the second scene where Crow gets to be in a room with Sherry for a longer stretch of time. And look, him joking that Sherry might kill Yaeger if he doesn't spill the beans about Iliaster soon is fun and all, but in light of the Ark Cradle duel later, I have to point out that he, again, doesn't get to have so much as a shred of a meaningful conversation with Sherry here. Again. But moving on. The scene with Yaeger at the Poppo Time then leads us first to the small sequence in the arcade where the gang has to win a simulated duel to get Yaeger's encoded intel, then to episode 116—the Moment Express episode, where, due to this being a Yusei, Sherry, and Bruno-focussed episode, Crow gets nothing to do again. (And also doesn't get to interact with Sherry again.)

Congrats! We've survived the WRGP break. This leaves us with three more WRGP duels before shit hits the fan and the Ark Cradle arc commences. And full disclosure, I'll be doing a bit of a quick-fire round of those three duels. Why? Because despite them all having their merits in their own rights (they're the better liked duels of the WRGP for a reason), there honestly isn't that much focus on Crow during them. He duels, yes, and I've seen people point this out over and over again as the supposed smoking gun that shows how Crow had so much more relevance and screentime than Aki and yadda, yadda. We've been there. And it's not that I can't see where this argument is coming from—I'll be the first to tell you that it's a travesty that Aki never got to duel in the WRGP again outside of the Unicorn match. But I want to use the final three matches to dig into how the way these matches—and especially the opponents to go with them—were set up made it nearly impossible for Aki to replace Crow again during any point of the WRGP finals.

First, episode 118. This is the only preamble episode we get for the first two WRGP finals teams, and here, our group is split in two: Yusei, Bruno, and Rua introduce us to Team Taiyou, while Jack, Aki, and Crow introduce us to Team Ragnarok. There isn't much to say here, because the only thing this episode does for Crow is a shallow repeat of what the Team Catastrophe duel did: By putting him in a group with Aki and Jack, and letting them decide among themselves, independently, to check out the exhibition match, it implies that he voluntarily spends time with signers who aren't Yusei. Thumbs up. Gold star. You made an effort (I guess). Then, the real fun starts.

Round one. Team Taiyou.

(Pictured: The sweetest country bumpkins to ever grace this earth. Yes, I'm biased.)

So here's the deal with Team Taiyou, from a narrative standpoint, as best as I can grasp it: They are a callback to Team 5Ds' roots. Specifically, to the boys' Satellite roots. The Taiyou boys come from humble origins, have only one, mostly home-engineered duel runner, and play using old cards that are widely considered shitty, as 5Ds canon tells us. They are essentially the non-signer, countryside version of what Jack, Crow, and Yusei once were, which is why this is the first duel where the duellist constellation on Team 5Ds' end couldn't possibly have been altered. Team Taiyou is there to remind us where our boys started, so it has to be our boys duelling them. This also goes for Crow, even though this duel otherwise doesn't accomplish much for him, character-wise. Instead, it's more of a narrative wink at the audience, as well as providing a breather between otherwise extremely tense, plot-focussed duels. But yeah, Crow's part in this match isn't much to write home about; he doesn't get any verbal interactions that are very meaningful to his character, can't get so much as a scratch in on Zushin, even with Black-Winged Dragon, and is defeated so Yusei can take out the legendary giant.

Round two. Team Ragnarok.

(Behold the pizzazz of at least two contenders for Haircuts With The Most Spikes in the show.)

Though this duel is framed as being even more so aimed towards bolstering Jack's character writing than Crow's, given the inclusion of Dragan's personal history with Jack, Team Ragnarok gets significantly more interesting for Crow again than Team Taiyou did. This is, of course, mainly because of Brave/Broder. Where Team Taiyou were a callback to the 5Ds boys' roots, Team Ragnarok are their narrative foils. Dragan is the duellist who lost his pride to contrast Jack, who's brimming with pride at all times, and Harald/Halldor is essentially the rich, "destiny isn't bullshit, actually" version of Yusei. Meanwhile, unlike the first two, who highlight our 5Ds boys' characteristics by contrasting them, Brave acts as Crow's mirror. Through Team Ragnarok's flashbacks, we see that he gets almost exactly the same, lovable-rogue-type backstory that Crow did during the DS arc, just in a different setting. The only, major difference between them is that while Crow is more down-to-earth, Brave likes to be pretty flashy.

(Keep in mind that he's doing this on a runner. Is there such a thing as courses on how to do acrobatics on your runner? Like there are courses for vaulting on horseback irl? I'm overthinking this again.)

Unsurprisingly, the duel thus ends up addressing the similarities between Crow and Brave, mostly through two things: One, the duel essentially becomes a contest of who can out-trickster who, culminating in the famous, ridiculous-in-the-good-way sequence where Crow activates a trap from his graveyard, to the shock of pretty much everyone present. And two, despite being on opposite sides, the two bond over their concern for the children they took care of and their concern for children in general, which is expressed most clearly in the scene where Crow's kids, in an attempt to hold the poster they made for him higher, very nearly fall over the barricade in the WRGP stands. Despite the hefty length of the full duel, these are pretty much the only things actually related to Crow's character that come up, though. They're good, don't get me wrong, but in a duel that is otherwise this dense with plot, Aesir shenanigans, and Iliaster foreshadowing, it's no surprise that the duel doesn't add that much to Crow's character, outside of giving him someone he can bounce off very well and relate to. Again, though, we are faced with the same situation as with Team Taiyou: Due to the way the members of Team Ragnarok are written, meant to contrast/parallel one male duellist each from Team 5Ds, nobody other than Crow could have taken the third spot here, either. It would have felt awkward from a narrative standpoint (as much as I would have loved to see Aki duel more).

Now, finally. Round three. Team New World.

(Welp. Here come the robots.)

I had to check to make sure I wasn't misremembering this, but due to the way this duel was set up so José/Jakob could bust out Meklord Emperor Granel with a ridiculous amount of attack points, Crow gets a resounding four turns total in this duel. (Gee, I wonder which other character got this treatment during a WRGP duel.) During those four turns, there are only two things he accomplishes: One, leaving behind two combo pieces Yusei later uses, and two, showcasing the shrewd tactics that earned him the label of "trickster" during the Ragnarok duel by bringing out a non-synchro monster that can take advantage of a synchro monster's attack points and effects—Aurora the Northern Lights. And arguably, this is a very smart play, moreover, it's the only time anyone in the show has the bright idea to not use synchro monsters against the known and feared synchro-killer Meklords. Unfortunately, as smart as it is, the narrative doesn't reward Crow for this play—José all but shrugs what could have been a turning point in the duel off, then proceeds to steamroll Crow the next turn, leaving Yusei to score the win, as usual. To get back to the "Crow got so much more screentime than Aki during the WRGP" thing for a second, of all the duels in the WRGP finals, this is arguably the one where Aki could still most easily have taken Crow's spot again, because here, it doesn't matter whether it's him or someone else, as this duel isn't tied to his character in any way. Unfortunately, due to the Granel-steamroller-strategy, this is also the duel where letting Aki take his spot again would have been the biggest shot in the foot, because unless they had changed Team New World's strategy, Aki would have gotten brutally guillotined here, same as Crow—something I can't imagine anyone, not even people who hate Crow, being happy about.

With that, though, we've finally made it through the WRGP. So, what's the bottom line here? Frankly, speaking from my own interpretation, Crow occupies an... odd spot during this tournament, to say the least. Though he does get to duel the majority of the time, few of the duels actually cater to his character in any way. Moreover, he only gets to be the star of the show in a WRGP duel once, during the by far most forgettable match against Team Catastrophe. And mind that I use the term "star of the show" very loosely here, because the problem the WRGP arc as a whole has, in my opinion, is that the rather lame Team Catastrophe duel is the only one in the whole tournament that isn't won by Yusei, which categorically means that any of the other character's big moments are usually undermined by the fact that they ultimately still need him to save the day. Thus, moments like Aki summoning Stardust Dragon and Crow using an anti-synchro-killer strategy that for once actually forgoes synchros are somewhat cheapened by the fact that they're not actually the turning-point moments they're initially painted as, because ultimately, Yusei always has to be the one to save the day. What's worse is that this almost feels like a bit of a non-issue that could have easily been fixed—given that the show tells us that teams can shuffle around their line-up for a match any time. But unfortunately, the writing never interacts with this as a possible strategic element, nor does it ever seem to consider letting Yusei lose, or forcing him to give up his spot for a match. I feel the need to say that I don't put the blame at Yusei's feet here, though: This strongly feels like an oversight by the writers, and perhaps a disproportionate need to have a nigh-infallible protagonist (on the duelling side of things) that their audience would never run the risk of calling "lame". For Crow, though, this chiefly means one thing: In any duel other than the Catastrophe one, it was always clear that even if he partook, he would never finish the match. And yes, this is technically an issue Jack has, too. But this is where the character writing outside of the duels comes into play, too.

Unlike Jack, who actually gets to do something during the Diablo invasion (albeit very little), who gets his very own dragon upgrade and who gets a very personal, pre-duel plot with Dragan, the show's writing doesn't bother giving Crow a lot of plot- or character-relevant things to do, once the WRGP starts. This is also why I was so surprised at how much the Unicorn and Catastrophe duels embrace his interactions with Aki—compared to the later duels in the finals, this portion still makes Crow feel genuinely relevant and interwoven with the other characters. Meanwhile, out of the three final duels, only the Ragnarok one actually tries to establish a connection to his characterisation, through Brave. The Taiyou duel only sets itself up in such a way that Aki partaking instead of him would have been awkward. Meanwhile, the New World duel just has him being treated like a floormat in a sad parallel to Aki during the Unicorn duel, seeing as they both get a nice moment where it looks like they might turn the duel around (Aki summoning Stardust Dragon and Black Rose Dragon onto the field at the same time; Crow summoning Aurora the Northern Lights, which couldn't be absorbed by the Meklords), only to have their hopes dashed as they're mercilessly cleared off the track. Outside of the duels, many scenes sadly give the impression that they may as well not have included Crow, though—he often gets so little to contribute to a moment or even to say at all that substituting him with a cardboard box seems like it would not have impacted the scene in any way. And that's without addressing his non-existent connection to Sherry, which feels extra glaring, given his later interactions with her on the Ark Cradle.

All in all, the WRGP feels like a very mixed bag, where Crow's character writing is concerned. His belated backstory, which I talked about in part two, is front-loaded and asks as many questions as it answers. Then the tournament commences, gives him some actually decent character interplay with Aki for once (at the cost of letting her succeed in the tournament, it seems), only for him to be basically irrelevant during the WRGP pause again. And once the whole thing resumes, it becomes this hot-and-cold thing where some duel aspects seem tailored to him, while others treat him as completely expendable. The end result is an arc where I'm left wondering why exactly the writers felt the need to make it seem like Crow made up one portion of a protagonist trifecta, if they never actually bothered treating him as equal to the other two. (The answer, I believe, lies somewhere between the fumbled setup they did for him during the Fortune Cup and DS arc, and the way yugioh in general treats its character archetypes. But that's just speculation on my part.) The one, saving grace the WRGP (outside of the Pearson backstory) has for Crow is that it at least doesn't introduce any new character- and/or timeline inconsistencies. In fact, his character stays remarkably true to form once the tournament begins.

Okay, onto the final bit, then. As I've done in both previous posts, let me delve into completely subjective territory and offer some ideas on how this arc could have been handled to make it seem a little less all over the place with Crow. And since his writing here canonically intersects with Aki's several times, let me try to do it while offering the best of both worlds to both characters, if I can.

As far as Crow's backstory is concerned, I've already offered my solutions to that in part two. Now, to stay consistent with my own suggestions, I'll try to branch off what I wrote in the last post. This means that, as per my previous two analyses, we're dealing with two scenarios again: One, Crow stays a signer and we try to touch canon as little as possible. Two, Crow isn't a signer and we adjust canon in whatever way we need to to make him feel interesting and necessary despite/because of that.

First, though, let's get two adjustments I personally would have made in both versions out of the way:

The way the WRGP is structured puts every character that isn't Yusei at a massive disadvantage, where character moments in duels are concerned. Thus, I propose an overhaul. Among the changes I think could have benefitted the characters (yes, all of them) are: One - Aki actually getting to accomplish something during the Unicorn duel (she can and should still have her moments with Crow, but maybe let her portion of the duel end in her thanking him for coaching her, creating a more upbeat scene that strengthens their friendship, which could double as good setup for their later double-duel against Sherry). Two - letting the Team Catastrophe duel actually play out properly (as in, they become more meaningful as opponents by having a better strategy, for example, and Crow could stick it out longer against them, in order to make this more so his win than Jack's. Also, why not let Aki actually see him get back at Team Catastrophe for her?). Three - giving Crow an actual character moment during the Taiyou duel (what if one of the country boys had played a card or two of the ones he learned to read from? It could have helped drive the parallel between the two teams home.) Four - letting Crow's anti-Meklord strategy get at least a little payoff, if only for two turns (show us at least proof of concept, damn it!). Yes, the Ragnarok duel is the only one I wouldn't rewrite (unless special circumstances are introduced, see below). Additionally, let Team 5Ds alter their line-up more than once, damn it. Let them actually strategise about the duels, let them take into consideration who should go first when and whose deck might be better suited to which scenario. Also, remove Yusei from at least one duel. Doesn't matter how, just let him not partake once. Perfect setup to let Aki duel again, and would also allow for spicy character interactions. (Arguably the best duels where this could have been done would have been any of the final duels, though it would have also required rewriting the antagonists somewhat in any case.)

For the love of god, give Sherry and Crow some setup. Let them actually interact, let them introduce their philosophies to one another, just do something, anything to make Crow understanding and talking sense into her during the finale seem earned. A few chance meetings, or maybe even a tiny side-plot could have done so much here. And if you can't let them interact outright, at least let Aki and Crow talk about Sherry! Double whammy! The two characters who end up duelling against her are made to seem even more like a team, and Crow actually gets to find out what Sherry's deal is on-screen. Just. Set. it. up. I beg you.

There we go. Now, onto the two branches.

Option A: Crow stays a signer and obtained Black-Winged Dragon.

Seeing as Crow's signer status, funnily enough, isn't all that relevant during the tournament itself (save for two notable exceptions), there aren't that many fixes to be made here. Crow can still get injured, miss out on the Unicorn duel and be the star of the Catastrophe duel. But giving him something to do during the duel robot invasion that isn't standing around and hoping Yusei will fix everything would also be nice. It's fine if he can't drive out there and duel, but why not let him do something else? He's a crafty guy, why not let him find, say, a way to fry the Diablos' runners, taking a few of them out even from a semi-stationary position without duelling them? He could at least get as much of a consolation prize scene as Aki got with her saving that child. Then there's Team Taiyou, which, save for what I proposed above, is a duel that doesn't feel like it needs changes. Crow does his thing here. That's it. The same goes for Team Ragnarok, especially given that they're specifically written to oppose an all-signers Team 5Ds. Finally, there's Team New World, which, if I'm being completely candid, I would personally overhaul to change the cyborgs' strategy entirely in order to actually let all three members of Team 5Ds shine. But this is the version where I touch canon as little as possible, so... Aside from what I wrote above, no changes needed. Just make Crow seem a little more relevant, make his strategy have at least a little payoff, even if Granel's back out and menacing literally two turns later.

Option B: Crow, as per my previous posts, isn't a signer and doesn't have Black-Winged Dragon.

This is the version that would categorically require heavier changes, though they honestly don't arrive until the break in the tournament. Unicorn and Catastrophe stay the same, I would still propose that Crow gets to be a little more useful during the Diablo invasion. But! In this version, seeing as he never acquired BWD, the break in the WRGP would be an excellent spot to let Crow acquire an upgrade for his beefy Blackwing ace monster of choice. Give him a little side-plot, too, something to do, something where he proves himself. Maybe let him run into Iliaster here, or maybe call back to Pearson again and introduce the new Blackwing upgrade as a treasure Pearson stashed away before he died (maybe this could have even been the card Bolger was actually after; the world is our oyster here). Then he's beefed up, too, and actually feels a little more on the same level as Jack and Yusei. The tournament recommences and again, the Taiyou duel could stay mostly the same, I think. Ragnarok and New World are where it gets really interesting, though. The way I see it, Ragnarok could go two ways with Crow not being a signer: Either he partakes as he did in canon and his non-signer status is called out as a peculiarity by our Swedish boys who happen to be obsessed with fate (which would make his performance against Brave seem all the more impressive), or, due to this being a duel all about destiny and celestial pissing contests, Crow's spot is given to Aki again for this duel due to her signer status (this would, obviously, require rewriting Brave, perhaps even switching him out for a Ragnarok lady instead). As for Team New World, this duel would honestly be a lot more juicy with a non-signer Crow, because much like he was for the dark signers, a non-signer Crow would essentially be an unknown in their plan for the cyborgs. He would be the guy who's Not Supposed To Be Here. Granted, he would still be beaten, but he could still get an excellent moment where his out-of-left-field anti-Meklord strategy genuinely seems to turn the tables for a bit, angering José and providing even stronger setup for Yusei to win later.

Aaaaand that's that. Somehow, I get the feeling the WRGP had the least things that needed fixing because it also had the least actual character writing. But that might just be me. It's late and I have been writing for A While. But hey, I got out part three faster than part two! I consider that an achievement.

Now, while I get my talking points in order for part four, I hope you'll have fun chewing on this one. See you in the grand finale to my Bird Boy dissertation.

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woneuntonzz · 8 months

Text

what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 3/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 4

• part 5

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 3k words!!

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ description: student athlete!anton x studious class officer!reader | you swore to yourself, to you friends and even to your parents “I'm not one to easily fall.” and you thought you were that tough, not until him of course. [note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first ever post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Days 2 - 4]

Friday and Saturday flew over you like a breeze. You've convinced yourself time and time again during those two lengthy days of him not being around was not gonna be a problem for you at all. You were definitely happy to see him, you wanted to see him, but you didn't need to.

Though you yourself thought you were doing a great job of making it seem like his absence didn't bother you at all, Xen, Sohee, and your other friends could see right through your thin, glass barriers.

“You're gonna see him again by the end of the week anyways, so what's the big deal?” it was lunch time, you sat with your girlfriends —including Xen— and it was Minjeong who had spewed an attempt to lighten up your mood.

“Yeah I guess so. I feel so crazy right now, you have no clue.” your voice was low, almost like a mimicry of his voice.

“Uh, yeah, we see and hear crazy very clearly.” your friends laughed at Xen's banter whilst you remained seated there with a downturned smile being slightly pushed around by your guffawing friends.

You couldn't help but just laugh at the other-worldly noises coming from your friends. Yeah, it's not a big deal. I'm fine, I'm happy with my friends beside me. —you thought to yourself as you looked at your friends with so much warmth in your heart.

“But in all seriousness, I kinda get you too, you know. When my crush is not around I go nutsy-koo-koo all of a sudden, but then I see you guys and I'm like, I don't need him.” Liz had her arms crossed, a cheeky expression melding onto her face towards the end of her sentence.

“Wait, you basically just said that Y/n has a crush on Anton now too.” Everyone gasped at Danielle's words.

They playfully touched you around, one of them twirling your hair in her fingers and the other wrapping an arm around your shoulder and lightly squeezing you

“Do I?” Is all you could reply as you stared into the left-over food on your tray.

“Girl, just eat, we'll finish discussing this later —you need your nutrients!”

Anton did stay true to his words. He messaged you that Friday night, and by Saturday, he was messaging you during his breaks too.

If your past self from two days ago saw these messages now, she would've put herself into rehab. The thought that you seemed to be falling more and more each day too quickly crossed your mind, but it was merely a fly buzzing around in your brain. Needless to say, you were truly just going with the flow.

————— ୨୧ —————

You would soon find yourself in a group vc with Xen and Sohee who were both in their own homes, waiting for Anton to message you again. All three of you had workloads to finish, your school was quite the fiesty one making sure to leave their students with a week's worth of schoolwork and studies before going on to say “enjoy your weekends.” and watching as the students dragged their tired and anxious asses out of that school.

“Anton has had a crush on you for a long time now. Are you even still just a crush to him?” Sohee was in the process of writing a hand-written essay when he spoke, still concentrating on making his handwriting comprehensible at the very least.

“Well, he did say he likes me. Isn't that an entirely different thing?” you reply, also busy paraphrasing and typing down information for an infographics project.

“You said he mentioned that you're his 'long-time crush', right?” Xen was just smiling at the two of you once she lifted her head up from what she was doing.

“Well it's all just words. The word 'crush' is used for everything nowadays, right?” Sohee was quick to turn his attention to his girlfriend, interested in what she has to say. “Some guys would say, 'Oh, I have a crush on this girl.' but could barely care about the girl —but what I'm trying to say is, the word crush doesn't really lay flat at a certain degree, whether it be just infatuation or true love.”

You found yourself nodding hearing the reassurance from your friend.

“Mhmm~ that's true. I have a crush on Xen and I am madly in love with her.” Xen laughed at Sohee's remark, making you smile at the sight of the two, just being in love.

Xen has always been a sort of anti-male, with the exception of her boyfriend and other men she trusts within her circle of friends and family. You ended up developing the same feelings after a lot of boy troubles throughout middle school to your freshman year. One of your most cherished memories was when you got played by a boy who swore to you that you were his everything, saying "I love you." from the very first day and continuing to talk to other girls throughout the entire time he was trying to get under your pants. Of course he was unsuccessful, and so he broke up with you, called you useless even. Xen comforted you and begged the classmate who sat next to you to switch seats with her for a while so she could be right next to you the entire time.

“You know, men can be very disgusting. Never think about that fucking asshole again, okay? He's not worth even a second of your thoughts. There are a lot of good people in this world, and they will always find their way to each other, like perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. You're a wonderful person Y/n, and someone just as kind and truthful as you will come finding their way to you.”

These were Xen's words that stuck to you like a virtue. You learned to be patient and to just enjoy life as it is, trying to improve yourself day by day. You were young after all, so if Anton turned out to be insincere, it's not the end of the world.

“Oh wait, Anton just messaged me.” Xen and Sohee snapped their heads at you.

“Oh, so should we invite him in or—”

“No, no, just keep doing what you're doing. I'll go now, thanks for everything guys, I love you both so much!” you were quick to interrupt Sohee, but the tempo of your speaking was a lot quicker, enough for the couple to pick up on what was going on.

“Yeah, okay, enjoy your talk with Ant!” you heard Xen coo at you before you left the call.

You fixed your stuff, putting it all away neatly and tidying up your study table before jumping onto your bed and resting your back on your bed's headboard with your legs stretched out.

You had a weak smile on. Anton had long days of training, while still having to catch up with the school workload for the sake of maintaining decent grades. He was definitely more tired than you were, and you felt like it should be the other way around, that you should be the one to soothe him.

Well of course you were completely unaware of it, but being able to talk to you was enough to bring his mind to peace. He needed nothing more but to be able to converse with you about anything and everything.

Your laughter turned into you biting onto your bottom lip, your cheekbones flying up as you suppress a squeal. You gave yourself a mental slap in the face and figured you're getting way too ahead of yourself. You listen to Arctic Monkeys quite often, so you figured you could use them as an excuse to hide your agitated state.

You gulped, lips pursed as you waited for his response. You anxiously watched the typing status, waiting for it to disappear and for Anton's message to pop up.

Your smile dropped a bit, but you understood. You've established respect for each other's boundaries, and you didn't want to break something so precious like that.

The conversation went on for quite a while, and once it ended, the two of you went on to stare at your ceilings, glee and excitement rushing over your bodies —glee from the the things you two talked about and the inside jokes made along the way, and excitement knowing that you'll both be seeing each other the next day again, finally.

————— ୨୧ —————

You were in the car with Xen, Sohee, and Xen's mom; Mrs. Park. Your eyes wandered everywhere on the streets as the car moved.

“Did Xen tell you that she and Anton were in the same orchestra in middle school?” your eyelids moved further apart when you heard what Mrs. Park just said.

“Orchestra? Anton was in an orchestra?” Mrs. Park giggled at your confusion.

“Yes, he's quite the cellist.” Mrs. Park held a grin, eyeing you from the rear-view mirror.

“Wow. I didn't know that. I never would've guessed. I thought he's just always been a swimmer.” you uttered in awe, gradually becoming quieter as you progressed with your words.

“Well I wouldn't be surprised. Anton isn't very out-going. He doesn't approach people much, but people approach him.” The endearing tone in Mrs. Park's voice was enough to indicate that she's quite fond of Anton. “Do you like him?”

Your posture stiffened from hearing Xen's mom ask you the very question you've been asking yourself for the past few days.

You spent months trying to build even the slightest bit of connection with this boy, and within those months you yearned for a reason as to why he avoided you like you were the biggest threat to his life. At some point, you started wondering, were you yearning for the truth or were you yearning for him? The answer was vague for you at that time, but now, you are so close to coming to terms with what you truly feel.

“I —well, I don't really know yet.” you released an unusual amount of breath as you spoke and you saw Mrs. Park reading through it like a book.

“Anton confessed to her, mom, and I'd say they're doing pretty great.” Xen excitedly clapped like a seal turning to her left to face her mom.

“Oh, is that so?” you nodded your head slowly, feeling a bit shy. “Are you two talking now?”

Your conversations for the past few days started to fill your mind. You felt the blood rising up to your cheeks as you went over every emotion you felt while talking to Anton. You told Xen's mom every detail about how much bolder Anton got when messaging you contrary to him struggling to hold eye contact with you without blushing.

“I believe I know both of you well enough to assess this situation.” followed by a long and soft hum, Mrs. Park searched for the words to express her thoughts about your situation. “You two are gonna be very happy. Of course, life has its ups and downs, I know both of you know that very well already, I just wish for the two of you to never forget that the downs are temporary, and it's where we grow stronger, where we learn.”

You adored the way Xen and her mom conveyed their feelings, how even if you've heard the same words, the same advice over and over again, they never failed to console you.

————— ୨୧ —————

With your arms linked with Xen's, you started walking to the main entrance of the stadium, Mrs. Park and Sohee followed closely behind. Your eyes followed the people going in and out of the stadium, and as promised, you messaged Anton when you got to your seats.

Anton's face lit up the moment he saw your message on his notifications. He looked over towards a specific row of seats he had told Xen and Sohee to take you to, and so he found you right away.

You tried to look for him around the stadium, head turning from left to right every minute or so, but you just couldn't spot him. There were too many athletes with a similar stature and physique.

The corners of Anton's lips rose to a bashful smile as he watched your head move at an irregular rhythm trying to look for him.

“Who are you smiling at?” One of Anton's teammates nudged at him.

“Oh it's nothing, I just saw my friends.” Thankfully his teammate did not care enough to question him further.

The competition would start soon enough and you would find yourself, mouth hung open watching the swimmers with astonishment. You've watched snippets of the Olympics back then, some you would only stumble upon on Tiktok, it never failed to amaze you with just how fast their pace could go.

Now you are seeing a match in real time, fists balled up from unadulterated joy. You're thankful that Anton wanted you to be here, and you couldn't wait for his turn.

Sohee and Xen bickered, picking out swimmers who they thought would place 1st in each category, their picks always opposing each other. You and Mrs. Park on the other hand, just watched and clapped at every heat.

You were looking around at the stadium taking in the spaciousness and the surrounding lights when Mrs. Park placed a hand on yours. “Anton will be out soon.” she whispers into your ear.

You kept the same smile you've been wearing since the match started, but your spirits were lifted to seemingly dramatic levels. Your eyes focused on each athlete in every heat, and when you finally saw Anton, he looked right at you. It was a bit too far you to see, but he had such an adoring smile on his face as he saw the stadium lights reflected by your eyes giving him a sweet gaze from afar.

It happened twice, thrice, for the fourth time, and for the last time in Anton's last heat. There was no doubt that he did incredible for this particular match, your presence causing his heightened vigor.

The match had ended, the stadium was filled with immense praise for the athletes, awards were granted, and you clapped with so much force and volume every time Anton's name was called.

Anton saw it all. He wasn't aiming for a silver or a gold —which he both got— ,what he truly wanted was for you to see him at his best. You could say he intended to impress you, but this was all really just an excuse to see you again.

You, Xen and Sohee stood near the car, waiting for Xen's mom who had gone to the restroom. When she came back though, Anton followed right behind her, carrying his bag. You welcomed him with a warm smile to which he instantly folded, hanging his head low in order to hide the warmth spreading across his cheeks.

“Anton's joining us for dinner!” Mrs. Park exclaimed, causing you to subconsciously clasp your hands together.

Anton's eyes dilated a bit with how adorable you were, everyone saw it and felt the tension between you two.

Anton sat in between you and Sohee at the back, and conversations just kept going on and on. But at one point during the car ride to dinner, while everyone else laughed and talked about some matter, you and Anton were having your own little talk.

“You're really amazing, you know.” your voice was low, but your tone was very mellow, it nearly melted the guy seated next to you.

He leaned in a bit, this time not minding the flushed state of his composure. “I couldn't have done it without you.” he replied in the same manner.

You turned your head a bit to look at him. You two were a lot closer than what the both of you thought, but not an ounce of care was given. He looked down into your eyes, staring at the shine reflecting on his own eyes.

“That's quite cliché of you.” the two of you shared a soft laugh, eyes still locked on one another.

“I know, but it's true.” his eyes hesitantly traveled down to your lips.

If it weren't for the car stopping, you two wouldn't even realize the closing proximity between you two and would have still been basking in the little space with each other's ambiance.

Dinner was a delight. You were all at Xen's house eating a meal prepared by Xen's aunt. Anton tailed behind you taking the seat next to yours at the dining table. Everyone congratulated Anton with his great success for that day's competition, while under the table, your hands were so close to engulfing in one another.

“How long have you been together?” This being the first time you and Anton met Xen's aunt, she just couldn't hold in her curiosity when the two of you remained notably close to each other from the moment you stepped in their home.

“Oh, we're not together… yet.” you laughed nervously, murmuring the last part.

Considering the intimate distance, Anton was able to catch your last breath. Though he was still conversing with the adults in the room who had endless questions for him, he had his pinky crossed over yours. You kept your eyes on him, feeling the warmth of his hand close to yours. When he finally looked at you, he got lost in the constellations that formed in your eyes, looking right back at him with awe.

Mrs. Park insisted on driving all three of you back to your own homes, Sohee being the first to depart, then you.

Before leaving though, you gently place your hand on top of Anton's, waving goodbye with your other hand with a smile that alters his sensations.

Your hand drifted from his at a painfully slow pace from which he longed for your touch the second he lost it.

It was indeed a good night.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

#riize #riize au #riize fanfic #anton lee #briize #riize anton #riize fluff #riize x reader #Spotify

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flower-boi16 · 3 months

Note

I would like to ask what your opinion is on MDHWrites's blog, or some of his most comprehensive takes criticizing the show at large, for he's covered a lot of ground. What is your regard for his opinions, if you have seen it.

The second I saw this ask pop up in my inbox my thought was "should I even answer this?". On one hand, I would like to express my opinions on Writes' TOH takes since I have er...strong feelings about some of them, but on the other hand part of me still feels a bit iffy about it.

For my 200+ followers who don't know who tf this anon is talking about; MDHWrites is a tumblr user who makes a heavy amount of posts critisizing TOH, he's kind of the most well-known TOH critic on this site, at least in the TOH critical commuinity (and yes, TOH has a critical commuinity).

I remember once randomly stumbling across Writes' blog when I was new to tumblr and first discovered that critical tags were a thing and I started reading some of his posts. I don't remember exactly what all the posts I read said but I do vaguely remember some of the points Writes' made in the posts.

This was at a time where I kinda just accepted critisicm of things I liked rather than actually thinking about the validetly of the takes, and since Writes' posts sounded proffesional enough (and because I went on the toh critical tag and watched videos critisizing the show WAY too much) I think I kinda just forgot why I liked the show in the first place...? I know that sounds weird but I first watched TOH when I was 13 (I'm 14 now) and my analysis skills were still developing at the time.

A couple of months later after I rewatched The Owl House and fell back in love with the show leading me to grow an attatchment to it that was stronger than ever before I thought back to Writes' posts and decided to revist his blog and read a handful of posts out of curiosity to see what his points were. And...I thought going in that there might be some good points about the show but...I can't really say I agree with any of his takes.

While I don't Writes' TOH takes are Lily Orchard levels of infuriatingly media illiterate, and Writes' doesn't look like a bad person...I don't think his TOH takes are that good. They sounded professional at first but everytime I think about them I notice more holes. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want to cover Writes' TOH takes in detail because I know some might alert him of this post, he'll see it and I'll end up starting an argument I don't really want that.

I guess I'll just say that I think his comments about the understood scene in the posts I read feel like he completely missed the point of it. The scene is meant to be a moment of realization for Luz of what she truely wanted, it's not intended to be a "character finish" and just because she realized what ultimately wanted doesn't mean that her self-loathing and guilt of helping Belos is just going to go away.

He even goes as far as to say it doesn't matter to Luz as a character in his post about filler in TOH, where he labled several episodes that are extremely important for outside context as "filler" by the standards of the general commuinity that complains about Amphibia's filler (that post is a whole other can of worms that I don't want to get into) which is just....baffling.

I could also get into things like Writes' takes on Luz's depression arc or his post about Waffles or his post about grom factor (a fan comic by moringmark) but again I don't want to say anymore things here beyond that.

I just don't agree with most of the takes that Writes has on the show. I will say sometimes he makes interesting points like his post about why the boiling isles woulden't work as a setting to a sequel series which does raise some valid points and his analysis of Boscha's "redemption" on my post that he reblogged was fairly interesting (though his reasons for Luz reaching out to the collector not making any sense weren't valid to me) but overall I don't care for his TOH takes.

#the owl house #toh #also no do not use this as a ticket to send some hate asks to MDHWrites

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george-weasleys-girl · 1 year

Text

Enemy Mine - Pt.3

~•~

Y/N's POV

Fred had won in more ways than one.

Less than two months after the infamous "Medusa Incident," Lucas and Y/N's relationship fell apart.

"I do care about you, Y/N," Lucas had told her. "But I can't go on like this. I'm always looking over my shoulder and double-checking everything to make sure it isn't a prank in disguise."

"But it's all over," Y/N had pled. "I made certain of that."

"It's over for you, but I can't trust it's over for Weasley," Lucas countered. "The only reason he did what he did is because of you. You know that, right?"

Y/N nodded, eyes downcast.

"As long as we're together, I'm going to be a target," he continued. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I really did want this to work."

As much as she wanted to plead her case, to try to convince him to stay, she couldn't. Because, truthfully, Lucas wasn't alone in his worries. Y/N spent every waking hour ready for combat, expecting the next bomb to drop at any moment. It was exhausting and soul-sickening.

No one should have to endure that kind of torment day in and day out. Least of all, the boy she loved. So she let him go, and with him, a piece of her heart she knew she'd never get back.

~•~

Fred's POV

Time flies when you're having fun, and Fred was having the time of his life. If he felt any regret over his actions, he shoved it down deep into himself, into the dark crevices where he rarely looked. Besides, what did he care if she never spoke to him again? Why would he even want her to?

He didn't, and it was as simple as that.

Even in those fleeting moments when he missed her, it wasn't actually her that he missed, but the thrill of the battle. There were very few people that could hold their own against him, and she'd proved to be a worthy opponent.

But that was all over now. It was time to set his sights on new horizons.

Fred had always had his pick of nearly any girl at Hogwarts. They buzzed around him like bees to honey, and he'd always been more than happy to give them a taste. But now he thought that maybe it was time to give a bit more.

There was only one other person to ever capture Fred's interest. He'd had a crush on her since they'd played their first Quidditch match together. She was sexy, ballsy, one hell of a chaser, and most importantly, she laughed at all his jokes. He was way overdue to ask her out.

Luckily for him, the Yule Ball couldn't have come at a better time.

~•~

Y/N's POV

Y/N watched Fred and Angelina step onto the train hand in hand. The familiar pang of envy that pricked at her heart every time she saw them together returned once again. While Y/N's love life rotted away in the gutter, that rank bastard had not only snagged one of the most popular girls at school as his Yule Ball date, but had somehow convinced her to be his girlfriend.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes when she saw them snogging in the hallway the day after the event. Y/N had expected their relationship to disintegrate within the month, but to her surprise, it didn't. One month passed, and then another, and another. Five months later, they'd become Hogwarts' official power couple.

It truly was beyond her comprehension. While Fred Weasley, asshole extraordinaire, swaggered around campus with his new girlfriend, Y/N remained painfully single and without a romantic prospect in sight. Guys still avoided her like the plague, even though her relationship with Lucas had ended six months ago. It frustrated and disheartened her, but she couldn't really blame them. Who would want to take the risk of ending up with writhing serpents growing out of their head instead of hair?

Y/N sighed and closed her eyes, putting those sad thoughts out of her mind. She'd been counting down the days until summer, and now it was finally here. A small smile crept across her face as the tension in her shoulders completely relaxed for the first time in forever. She had two glorious Weasley-free months ahead of her, and she intended to enjoy every second of it.

~•~

If your url is crossed out, I'm unable to tag you.

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @imshiningjustforyou @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @fredweasleyyyyy @hufflepuffie @alexistonks @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @superduckmilkshake @igncrantbliss @28cnn @saintlike05 @millies0bsimp @yeah3459 @leeknows-wife @pandoraneverland

#fred weasley #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley headcanon #fred weasley angst #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley x fem!reader

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veeples · 22 days

Text

writer interview

thanks for tagging me @narrativefoiltrope! <3 ik i don't really answer these ask/tag games v much anymore but i appreciate being tagged!

tagging: @lilas @bceky (teehee! i think it'd be fun if you answered on your game dev blog) and whoever wants to answer!

when did you start writing?

I definitely have clear memories of writing stories as early as 5th grade, so when I was like, 9-10 years old on an old Windows computer. And not too long after that, I started writing fanfiction for Inuyasha since I was obsessed as a kid.

I don't know if this counts, but in my professional job, I've been editing and sometimes writing policies for my lab for maybe four years now, but that's more technical writing than creative.

are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I end up reading a lot of what friends recommend to me, but what I read the most are sci-fi, speculative fiction, memoirs, and horror/thriller/mysteries! I'm open to quite a bit tbh and have more fun talking about shared reads than reading itself.

is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

LMAO nah, I haven't published fanfic in 2 years at this point so there's really no reason to compare me to anything at all. Professional I follow a template my co-worker made since I find the break down to be helpful for ease of use. I like authors who are really, really good with economy of language and pack a lot of punch with less words but I can't think of a good example right now.

can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

It's either my phone at 11 pm when I should be sleeping or my dinky lil Target desk! I use two screens at work so I can compare other policies or bring up websites for product information though, so that feels kinda fancy.

what’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

A lot like Erin I get inspired just chatting about OC head canons! Making up scenarios, usually in a jokey way, and wanting to explore it a little bit more in a drabble since I don't really do longform writing at all.

what’s your reason for writing?

For work it's just an extra project for me to have and do when I have free time, and I'm generally OK with it. It looks good on my yearly eval. Otherwise I just write as a hobby! Most of my writing I don't even share with other people </3. It's fun for me to do, I like my lil dolls and smacking them together. Art is harder and harder for me to do these days, so sometimes it's easier to just write a lil something when the need to create hits me.

is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

If I do share my writing w/ friends a good keysmash or emoji reaction makes my day! <3 Or I love when people point out particular lines they really enjoyed.

how do you want to be thought about by your readers?

For my work, I just want the policies to be comprehensible, easy to navigate, and a useful source of information. I write them with the intent that if I were to come into the lab as a new person, I could refer to the technical documents and know how to perform that particular bench work.

Otherwise: my readers are just my friends, if they're having fun than I am too! And if you hated it don't tell me :(

what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Professionally I think I'm good at really getting down the nitty gritty details of how something is done. I know how I'd want it to read as someone who needs carefully detailed instructions, so I write for myself and I think it comes off as clear.

Creatively, I really don't know! I don't think I'm good at writing. Maybe my greatest strength is that I also don't give a fuck if I'm good or not??? If I'm not confident about it I'm just not sharing it lmao.

how do you feel about your own writing?

It's a creative outlet! I like getting to be indulgent, and I'm not as critical with my writing as I am with my art. :) I can be as experimental or serious as I want! But I also desperately want to delete old TWC fics/microfics that I posted on my main blog because I feel intense cringe at them at this point and don't want them to be seen anymore.

#tag game

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carmenized-onions · 2 months

Note

hi. tried to reblog and leave a bunch of tags but made a mistake and tumblr wouldn't let me edit the post SO i took a screenshot because I WILL NOT REWRITE ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT WAS ALREADY TERRIBLE TO TRY AND GO BACK TO MY NOTES TO INCLUDE THEM INTO THE TAGS BECAUSE THE APP WOULD ERASE EVERYTHING so here you have a long ass pic with a ton of tags. love u u fucking mastermind 💋

I DID IN FACT GET THIS ASK FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU SENT ANOTHER ONE OTHER THAN THE DID YOU GET THAT ONE, then I am missing one, but I got this one!

I'm so glad you think it could standalone and make sense because I went into posting this like "so many people are not gonna be able to keep up with the tense changing and the time skipping, i'm being incoherent" thank you all for proving me wrong. My writing profs taught me to believe everyone does not have reading comprehension. Perhaps we should be giving more credit to readers, me thinks.

Man, I wish Carmen in The Bear canon aligned with CK not particularly because I wish he was better but because watching S3 I was like oh,,,, did I get all that wrong? Because to me, yeah does Carmen run away from things? 1 fucking million percent. At the same time, however, Carmen is an artist and I think like,,,, he's taught, yknow? He takes direction and critique, is always how I took him-- And so like, he just compartmentalizes criticism of his character the same way he would his craft; and he fucking likes making shit better, so he transfers it to life.

I considered massively pivoting from this choice for him to accept that he needs to be better, and instead like, Bojacks it, basically, but like, I'd already done this in CK canon:

Did I emulate my own previous scene to call back to the beginning of their relationship in chapter 13? Yeah 100% I did but back on topic--

I'd already decided that this was how Carmen went about things, and to be fair, I think honestly if everyone had just let each other finish sentences in S3EP01, that entire season I think would've gone an entirely different route, but c'est la vie, that's the tragic comedy of it all.

NOW ONTO MIKEY! I think some have said they prefer this Jimmy negotiation to canon-- And to be fair, though the sobriety aspect may not have been a part of it, Mikey did say he wanted to franchise with Carmen, and that's what the money was for. Or at least that's what Carmen affirms:

god fucking jesus christ he was so much more charming in S2 what the FUCK moving ON

But anyways, I think the 10k/week thing honestly is something Uncle would do, and I guess this is me staking my bet on it. I'd like to believe Mikey was climbing his way out-- Or maybe that's more tragic? I dunno. Regardless, I adore him, so, yknow. he's the guy!

50 PLUS YEARS FOR CARMEN? YOU THINK THIS GUY COULD LIVE TO 80? BABY LOOK UP POPCORN LUNG THIS MAN WAS GETTING ULCERS AT 21 WE'RE LUCKY IF WE GET TO 60

regardless, thank you for enjoying i'm so glad that my interpretation of Mikey was enjoyed. I tried to be as like,,, accurate as possible to what I feel he'd act like out of the small scenes we've seen of him, but I also absolutely had to pull from my own oldest brother. so. i don't have issues idk what all of you are talking about.

also, I will put this in a master post of like, bits I was doing, later, because there's a fucking lot, but this is the last post I'm making before bed and I wanna get yelled at about this in my inbox in the morning nothing makes me happier:

Chapter 1! Tony Terry Tommy!

Chapter 13! Two Steps Back.

I know I'm a bitch, aren't I? I'm sure rereaders noticed this but I wanted the whole class to know.

While I'm at it, Chapter 12! Hit em with it!

YEAH BABY SHE'D BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOOOOLLLEEE TIMMEEEEE YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHH I'm fucked up for this one. I had the Cold thing planned since chapter 1 I'm so SICK with it. Yell at me in my inbox I do love to make everyone mad ngl call me Carmen cause I'm a fucking shit starter baby

thank you for your thoughts and thank you for giving me a place to yap for WAY too fucking long GOOD NIGHT OR GOOD MORNING PENDING WHERE YOU ARE!!

#yapping #ask #ashtonweon #season 3 opinions #onion wip #i say wip cause like i'm talking about the process? it makes sense shut up

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systematicallycapricious · 2 months

Text

Here at last, my observations for English P4AU manga volume 4! Same formatting as my prior ones, no holds barred for spoilers, and fair warning that I'm writing this off of notes from 5 months ago; so if I miss some details, I apologize. Hectic life shenanigans have limited my ability to reread the volume. xP

-----------------------------------

General Vibes

On the whole, I found this volume to be the best reading experience out of the 4 Udon-translated volumes. Aside from the persisting issue of conflating Sho and Minazuki via calling both “Minazuki”, as well as a few confusing absences of clarifying quotation marks, the narrative is cohesive and comprehensible.

I also think that it stands really well on its own, so, as I said before, I'd highly recommend Eng-Sho and Minazuki fans pick up Vol 4, even if you've been iffy on the Udon translations up until this point. In all honestly, I think Udon did a better translation of Vol 4 than the fan-translation that's out there on the internet, at least in terms of justice done to the characterizations of Minazuki and Sho. Their dialog, with a couple small exceptions, fit their expected lexicons much better.

(No shade to the fan-translation, of course! I'm still super-grateful that people took time out of their lives to give us some form of accessible translation long before Atlus got on printing an official translation, and the fan-translation is still pretty good with it's own wins.)

Also, Narukami's dialog was translated pretty well too, from what I recall, so fans of his might also find his inclusions in the story enjoyable. As for Adachi and Kagutsuchi... I'm not very well-versed in their characterizations, so I wouldn't be able to say. Adachi's lexicon did seem a bit out of character to me, though; like the underlying vibe is kinda the same as his typical lexicon, but the execution feels more 'censored', I guess? It's just the impression that I got, though.

-----------------------------------

Specific Things

• ...They were so close to getting it right throughout the entire translation, but they stumbled at the finish line. Literally – this was within the final few chapters, and may have even been the final mention of Plumes of Dusk in the story, lol. And it's definitely the same kanji and kana that “Plume of Dusk” is always spelled with, so how or why they suddenly fabricated “darkness” in place of “dusk” is beyond me.

Also, for Eng reading context, what gets translated as “the other me” is “もう１つの人格を” with a gikun of “ミナヅキ” in the Jap text. So whether or not that should have vocally been “the other me” or “Minazuki” is up to you to decide. ~(•_•)~ (And for anyone who wants the full Jap transcription of that text bubble: ”黄昏の羽根”ってヤツから生まれたもう１つの人格を消す手術から眠ったままだったらしい)

• I wish that translators would interpret Minazuki's use of “黙れ(damare)” as “Silence.” rather than “Shut up.” It fits his pre-established (by Ultimax-the-game) lexicon far more, in my opinion.

(Jap version of the page [here], because I forgot to take a picture of it, apparently. :P)

• Kanazuki, my beloved nickname. (Though, because pursuing lore details, I'm not sure if Udon's “the two sides of Minazuki” is an accurate translation in this case? It seems to be more like “the two Minazukis”, like how fan-Eng interpreted it, but I don't know enough Jap to tell. For those who want the transcript: ところで２人の皆月のことみんななんて呼んでる？皆月？ミナヅキ？文面ならまだしも打ち合わせの時彼らは大変混乱を招いてくれやがりましてね......)

• It's nice to have the uncropped version of the original Yu cover art... But I'm a bit sad that we don't get the original Sho/Minazuki back-cover as a poster as well.

• Interesting detail: despite reprinting and reformatting the title logos, they seem to have kept the signature color for each volume the same (Vol.1/yellow, Vol.2/red, Vol.3/pink, Vol.4/blue).

• I've already stated some of my thoughts on Ch.28 and Ch.30 here, but for a few things that I didn't cover...

1) Minazuki specifically thinking “The humans are shouting.” gives us an interesting window into his mindset at the time.

2) The doctors were shouting at him because he was climbing up into an open window more-so than just shouting at him in general, lol.

3) The Ikutsuki death report reads more as if Minazuki was narrating it rather than it just being Sho staring at information on a screen, which I think is a neat interpretation.

4) Sho might've been attempting to finish the 'Minazuki extraction procedure' that Ikutsuki began, rather than just blindly attacking Minazuki? I'm not entirely sure, but it's an interesting angle to consider nonetheless.

5) Ikutsuki spinning Minazuki as an “evil spirit” as another generally useful tidbit to employ in Sho characterizations.

6) “Murder pit”. I'm keeping this for my Minazuki characterizations going forwards, lmao.

• Generally adoring the larger page size, 'cause I can see more details in the art that also help me understand the context better in a lot of scenes. For example! After Tsukiyomi takes the full-power hit from Izanagi, I can see the clear signs of exhaustion and Minazuki pushing his limits in the continuation of the fight. His movements are more desperate, he gets pronounced bags under his eyes, he has a kind of wide-eyed look to him, etc. Which I think is a really nice detail, because it shows that Minazuki isn't invulnerable: his desperation to protect Sho is just that strong.

The dialog at the beginning of that scene also helps to demonstrate that: rather than continuing to think in fluent and complex words, his internal monologue is reduced to simple, fragmented instincts (“Can't falter... Must protect... Must...!"). Which, again, a very interesting window into how Minazuki thinks. Even when put under the physical strain of grievous injuries, his first instincts (in this situation, at least) are to hold his ground in order to protect Sho.

(...Though, the Jap text of the aforementioned dialog is a bit different than Udon's translation, lol. It's more like “If I... don't protect... I—" (俺が......守らなければ...俺が――...))

• I don't have much to say about the fight against Kagutsuchi due to not having the best focus when I read through that part of the manga. Hopefully one day I'll reread it with better success. ^^;

• Suicidal Sho? I'm not entirely sure, though, as the “思ってた” in the Japanese version of the text (死んじまうかと思ってた時...) seems like it could mean either “I believe (that this will happen)” or “I plan (on making this happen)”? I don't know what linguistic contexts lend to what definitions, unfortunately, and the visual context could support it either way. (Not to mention, I have no clue if the sentiment is being expressed in a literal or frivolous capacity, given Sho can be hyperbolic at times. >_>)

...Also, I'm not counting Sho knifing his own face as an intentionally suicidal action, because (to the best of my ability to understand) that was intended to be homicidal. It's just that it would have also had a suicidal effect on him.

• Shadow puppet-Yosuke, Shadow puppet-Narukami, and Yosuke are great, lmao.

• Translations of General Teddie's script.

• Lastly, and maybe bestly: They got!! It right!! They kept Sho's name in Minazuki's “What are you going to do to Sho, Kagutsuchi?” line!! (Context: a previous observations/musings post of mine [here].)

-----------------------------------

(If you wanna see the fan-Eng in higher quality than the screengrabs I used, you can find it on Mangadex [here].)

#Sho Minazuki #Yu Narukami #Labrys #(tagging Labrys for the cover art)#P4AU/P4U2 manga #Persona 4 Arena Ultimax #P4AU #P4U2 #Persona 4 The Ultimax Ultra Suplex Hold #ペルソナ4 ジ・アルティマックスウルトラス―プレックスホールド

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minecraftbookshelf · 6 months

Text

Mistakes Are Made Chapter One Dialogue Breakdown

This was hard to make it turns out. A combination of "how do i format this" and trying to comprehensively summarize the thought processes and decisions going on. I think this works though.

Honestly, this sort of thing would probably work a lot better as like, a live conversation but we work with what we've got XD

I won't be including every bit of dialogue from the chapter but it will be most of them.

Disclaimer that this isn't a "How To" or any kind of "you should do things this way" this is just an explanation of what I put into my writing, and dialogue specifically. Also that I write in limited first person most of the time, so in a way, all the narration can be considered dialogue and as examples of character voice.

This is also only the first part of a long story that is intended to a) be re-readable and b) involve a lot of discovery as the story progresses, so a lot of the decisions I made are based off of things that will come up/be revealed later in the series. I will be talking about those, sometimes with no helpful explanation, sorry XD

I'm using color coding to specify what parts I'm talking about at any given time, so hopefully that helps.

This is going to be a long, wordy post, its entire point is to be an insight into the intentionality and consideration that goes into writing dialogue for me, if this isn't something you're interested in, absolutely pass it by. It will also likely "take some of the magic out of it" for some people. But I like to think that it might also add a bit more magic to it for others. So here we go!

On with the show behind the scenes! [AO3 Link to the Chapter] if you want to follow along there with more context to the selections.

"Hello, Jimmy!" He manages to clamber out of the fountain without tripping and falling flat on his face at least. He splashes Katherine in the process, where she is hovering off to the side but he can't really be bothered to worry about that. All he can manage to do is stare at Sausage's smirking face. "Hello, Jimmy!" Katherine's greeting is much less mocking

Starting off with the very first dialogue of the chapter, which doesn't occur until a few paragraphs in and then proceeds to be the exact same line said by two different characters.

This is one of the times that I am heavily relying on the fact that I am writing fanfiction and these greetings are words that we hear the characters in question (Sausage and Katherine) say multiple times. So I don't go into much detail with dialogue tags, counting on the reader to fill that in themselves. Even if they/you aren't imagining the exact tones I had in mind its a fairly easy extrapolation that these are said in wildly different tones. The emphasis on Sausage's is to imply the more mocking/antagonistic tone, helped along by the mention of his expression, but can also just convey that its louder and more emotive (As Katherine is trying very hard to be OfficialTM in this chapter) Also describing her greeting as "less mocking" helps fill in the appropriate tone for Sausages retroactively.

"What is he doing here?" He jerks his chin at Sausage, who is still giggling like a child. He sees Jimmy looking and grins at him, all teeth. Behind the mask, Jimmy bares his own teeth and takes some comfort in the knowledge that he has more of them; and they are sharper.

This is the first instance of Jimmy's inhuman body language being used as an extension of the dialogue/conversation between the characters. The use of teeth as a threat being a hybrid trait.

Sausage's smile is also part of this, something that isn't actually said in this chapter but will be demonstrated later on is that, as the ruler of a kingdom with a heavy hybrid population, Sausage knows this and his own body language is chosen accordingly.

Sausage keeps giggling and Jimmy can barely hear it beneath the roar in his ears. He leans down to try and whisper into the faerie queen's ear. "I really need your alliance right now, Katherine." He hopes his desperation doesn't show in his voice. She gives him a reproving look that throws him right back to his brief time spent in a classroom. "I'm allied with everyone, Jimmy. You know that."

This is the first example of really incorporating distinct character voices into the dialogue. I'm a liberal user of italics and in this case I'm using them to indicate emphasis where the ccs tend to stress their words to encourage assigning that voice to the dialogue itself. These are also, if not direct quotes from canon, very similar to actual things the ccs and their cubitos have said so it isn't exactly what I would consider heavy lifting.

Jimmy at this point is still fully informal. He's surprised and he's talking privately to a friend.

This is also more natural dialogue from Katherine, whose exasperation with her friend is partly overcoming her attempts to be Formal Faerie Queen.

I'm trying to keep the early dialogue fairly simple and close to canon voices because that way I can transition slowly and naturally into slightly different voices that suit the atmosphere while also preserving their more casual voices as the way that they talk when they are more comfortable and in less official settings. Setting up the contexts for different manners of speech is a big thing in this chapter overall.

"He invaded the Swamp," Jimmy hisses, his ear-fins flaring, ignoring the shudder down his spine from her use of his Name, even in part. "He crossed our borders. Again. He's threatened war." He's no longer whispering by the end, standing to his full height, shoulders back, sword hand by his shoulder. "And according to him, you've threatened it right back!"

Another instance of emphasis on Jimmy's inhuman body language.

This bit is actually more about Katherine than Jimmy. It does show a bit of Jimmy's sensitivity to magic but more than that, it incorporates Katherine's willingness to invoke her own flavor of threats, even in casual conversation with friends.

This is the first real deviation from canon dialogue in the entire chapter. This is the blending point where I'm taking the characters voices and using them myself instead of just channeling the pre-existing ones. The emphasis for this was important to me to try and keep it Jimmy's voice saying the words.

The body language here is a physical representation of Jimmy's shift from more informal speech to a more tense and emotionally and politically fraught situation.It's also the transition of Jimmy taking this from a private conversation to a more public one, now in earshot of both Sausage and Katherine's guards and staff. He's beginning to speak more as The Codfather than Jimmy and his physical stance is the biggest indication of that.

This is Katherine's last "private conversation" line and is, again, indicative of her frustration with her friends and the situation they have put themselves and everyone else in. It's a fairly sharp statement, geared to indicate that she is not really on Jimmy's side here. ("all sides" = "no sides" and a part of Katherine knows that, even if she refuses to admit it out loud, mostly because it is a role she has trapped herself in and can't leave.)

Sausage recovers quickly and shakes out the fur lining of his coat. "Is it just me or does it smell fishy in here, now?" "Sausage," Katherine looks disapprovingly back over her shoulder. "That's rude." "Oh," Sausage blinks at them both, "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't realize."

Jumping ahead a bit we're in the "polite conversation because political masks" phase of dialogue.

Sausage is Not Being Polite. This is his attempt at "polite rudeness" but he's not very subtle in general so its blatant enough for Katherine to call him out on it. It's also a continuation of Sausage speaking more informally in general. He has something of an upper hand in the situation, and an abundance of bravado, and that is reflected in the way he talks. (Sausage just also has a very distinct voice in general that is already leant towards melodrama which works very well for the au's setting as a whole)

His apology is also disingenuous. In retrospect I should have probably used some italics or some other indicator to help convey that. (I might go back and edit something in. I do that sometimes on AO3. Major edits get notes made at the chapter end but minor fixes happen a lot.) He makes the "apology" and that connects Jimmy to his original statement, even if it hadn't been blatantly obvious.

"Oh, this one is new!" Sausage immediately changes the subject, pointing at one of the skulls hanging on the wall of the hall. It's some kind of middling-sized land animal...a sheep maybe? with poppies filling the eye sockets and woven in a crown, there are delicate lines of gold painted across the surface of the bleached bone. Katherine beams, her irritation at the rudeness forgotten (or at least set aside, fae never truly forget breaches of etiquette) "It is! It's a gift from a childhood friend," she looks fondly upon the skull for a moment. "We've been reconnecting lately." Sausage nods sagely, "It is always good to spend time with your friends." "It is," Katherine's ears twitch and her wings flutter briefly before she resumes walking. "Which is why we are going to fix this."

This is a slightly better attempt from Sausage at maintaining political etiquette by complimenting the host. A distraction and a peace offering.

And this is the first mention of Scott in the chapter, in what I am now realizing (it was not intended that way but here we go) is a context that kind of foreshadows his role of peace offering. It also is an establishing line for Katherine and Scott's relationship, as well as a nod to their short-lived plushie business (my beloved) from canon.(And the adaptation of it that exists in the au, which will come up later in Katherine's backstory at the very least.)

Sausage is being ingratiating here. It's a kind of wink wink nudge nudge "we should be friends and you should do what I want" moment.

Katherine knows what he is doing. This is also an incorporation of Katherine's inhuman characteristics, though a bit more subtly, specifically because this is Jimmy's pov and he is neither familiar enough with her mannerisms to break down exactly what they mean the way his own are, or unfamiliar enough with them to register them as odd and worth commenting on.

And then we have the POV switch to Xornoth

The entirety of Xornoth's external, out-loud dialogue is one single line, but the internal dialogue is their narration of the situation at hand. Ft. "helpful" commentary from Exor.

Xornoth's voice is arguably the trickiest part of the entire chapter as it is the part with the least canon basis. Xornoth is a character I am functionally building from scratch, given that the majority of their canon appearances are arguably as much Exor as they are Xornoth. (at least in the context of this AU)

Xornoth's canon voice (on a purely literal level) is "Scott Smajor with a script and a voice changer" and, on the occasions they are on screen together, "someone else with a script and a voice changer", and then the single epilogue bit.

So I'm working with somewhat stilted, formal speech and a tendency for dramatic declarations.

For this first chapter there was actually a bit more effort put into characterizing Exor, as, despite it being in their pov, the majority of the Xornoth characterization is happening in Chapter Two. (which is also mostly from their pov)

Honestly, this is already really long, I'll probably do the dialogue in the second part of the chapter as a part two, but I do want to put a compilation of Exor's commentary down here to talk about.

I opted to make Exor's dialogue bold instead of italics both to distinguish it from Xornoth's own internal dialogue and to emphasize how unavoidable it is for Xornoth. It's not something they can truly ignore, its too loud in their head.

Meaningless frivolity.

Disparaging commentary on the priorities of the other emperors and Jimmy in particular, leaning into one that Xornoth themself is inclined to agree with.

Do not pretend such reluctance. I see the truth.

Denying Xornoth's knowledge of themself in favor of asserting their own.

You are still only a student. And you will be so long as you refuse to take what is rightfully ours.

Exor's goal is and always has been (as long as Xornoth as known them) world domination. This is his most blatant statement of it, coupled with a disparaging comment towards Xornoth's own authority.

Like a fish on a hook.

Dehumanization with a side of violent imagery.

They are going to hurt themselves, trying that hard to utilize what little intelligence they have.

General scorn towards the intelligence and competence of the other emperors.

If we pinned her wings to the wall like a butterfly and made her watch, that would phase her. If we gutted him like a fish he'd squeal so nicely.

Violence. Rather graphic, worded in a way to make Xornoth/The Reader paint a stronger visual image to accompany it. These are the ones that both Exor (in-story) and I (out of story) designed to have a stronger impact. For Exor its about sowing thoughts in Xornoth's mind and having them doubt themself, for me its about really conveying Exor's intentions.

Rip them all to pieces, give the farmer the fight she wants.

This is a half-step back into a more friendly-aligned bit. Pearl is Xornoth's friend. A war would make her happy! Pearl is not Xornoth's biggest weakness, but she is one and Exor takes as much advantage of that as he can.

Wheat fields burn so easily, all it would take is a single spark in the right place and all of Mythland would be in flames. Carefully, carefully, Xornoth sets their book down on the table beside them and places their hands in their lap. Katherine will stop allowing them to borrow her books if they start spontaneously combusting them. Hopefully she doesn't notice the slightly singed cover.

Arson yay!

With the previous comments designed to rile Xornoth up the invocation of fire is a deliberate reference on my part to Xornoth's powers (with the follow up in the next paragraph) and on Exor's part is a provocation towards losing control/making it harder to stay in control of their powers.

Why do you consistently choose to prove your incompetence.

Even gods that crave violence can be disappointed.

this was equal parts chosen to add to the overall comedy of that exact moment and as a final nod to the way that, while he spends a lot of time tearing down other people in Xornoth's head, he also puts a lot of time into tearing down Xornoth themself.

I'm going to leave it there for now, if just because of length. I can come back and make a part two for Xornoth and the other emperors during the second part of the chapter later.

#rain rambles #marriage of state au #writer things #not sure how coherent this is #but here it is #long post is long #rains writing process #mos: bts

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allwaswell16 · 5 months

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Hi lovely and thank for your sharing and caring in this fandom!

A bit finicky question, I'm here with. Don't know if I managed to mention different perspectives enough and contextualize it the way I wanted to, but anyway, do feel free to ignore or maybe just leave some tags:

What are your thoughts, your two pennies and just today (tomorrow is another day and maybe a new perspective), about the conversation going on about the commenting culture (nowadays in AO3):

the lack and/or decline of it

the urgent need for community, engagement, participation and positive feedback loop for authors

but also the growing and changing audience for fanfic

the growing idea that a fic is not a gift (it most certainly is) but some "factory produced and guaranteed content that keeps on coming and you are entitled to it"

the lack of reading comprehension skills

and the lack of skills to figure out the appropriate time and place for giving critique

but also the small but growing portion of authors who demand only certain kind of praise, worded in a certain kind of way and if not delivered accordingly attack brutally on everything and everyone

the cultural differencies as a player in participating, giving positive feedback and even using foreign language words

and of course the ever growing and spreading comment anxiety on "both sides"

and so on...

So how do you see it? What's your perspective? You are both an author and a reader. But then again, you are a reader who writes, so you actually know, what a writer likes to see in their comment field...

Hi, anon! Whew, well this is a lot, but I'm going to answer as much as I can haha. As you said, this is just my own perspective on things. I'd say I also have a little added perspective of being a writer who reads and writes in more than one popular fanfic fandom. So I can't help but compare my experiences in both.

I don't think the One Direction fandom has ever been overly generous with the kudos and comments to be perfectly honest. I think if you talk to writers who are active in other fic fandoms of similar sizes/popularity, they'd likely agree with that.

I want to be clear to start with here that I feel like readers have been very kind to me over the years. I've been here a long time now though, so I get the benefit of the doubt with some long time readers and those who subscribe to my ao3. But I also think that in part I have encouraged comments in a way that not every writer can or wants to do.

I answer every single comment. I answer them in a way that mirrors back the comment that was made. If you leave a long comment, I answer back in detail. If you send me something shorter, (which is fine and I love any and all comments!) I will answer back in a similar way. I also answer back pretty quickly. There are times I get behind, but I rarely get behind more than a month or so. And the day my fic posts, I try to answer every comment that gets posted on that first day.

Am I saying everyone needs to do what I do? Absolutely not! It takes a lot of time and energy to do that! But I do think there's a correlation to be made there. Readers see all the comments, see they're being answered quickly, and feel comfortable or like it's okay to leave one, too. OH, and also I want to say that me answering back (maybe obsessively) quickly is something that probably isn't possible for people who have a fic explode in popularity. I might have some popular fics but none of them were like overnight explosions in popularity. They've all been slow burners lol.

As for concrit with fic...I think it depends on the fandom. It is not something that is looked upon kindly in ours. There are definitely writers out there who ask for it which is fine, but the etiquette in our fandom is not to offer it unless asked for it. In my opinion, this makes a lot of sense for our fandom. Since writers are not getting the numbers of kudos and comments that are given more freely in other fandoms, it's a bit of a hard pill to swallow that we'd then expect them to also take unsolicited writing critiques.

Just using my own fics as an example, by the time I publish a fic multiple other writers have already read it. It's been proofread and betad by a writer with an MFA in creative writing. I'm not going to be taking concrit seriously from someone whose background in writing I don't know. When I publish the fic, it's done, I'm happy with the result, and I'm not going back to it to make changes. So there's not much point in telling me what I should have done differently with it.

Your point about some writers being perhaps overly sensitive about some comments...I wanted to say a few things about. There are a few common comments that immediately came to mind that writers have differing views on, and I think it's worthwhile for readers to think about.

One is something like I wish this was longer or please write more of this. If you comment this on any of my fics, I'll smile and consider it a compliment that you enjoyed it enough to want more. If you go through my comments, you'll see this is indeed what I've replied back to comments like that. There are other writers that are going to be exasperated by that comment or even offended by it. And even though I'm not one of them, I would say try to see it from their perspective.

What if that writer has spent months on that fic the reader considers "short"? I think readers sometimes forget just how much TIME goes into these fics. Just because a fic is 10k, 5k, whatever doesn't mean it didn't take a long time to write. And someone who spent months of time on something who likely didn't receive a whole lot of comments in the first place, and then one of the few comments they get could be interpreted as this wasn't enough. That's disheartening, you know? I think if you have the urge to leave that comment, maybe think first about the writer you're leaving that comment for. Or even think of a different way to say it like, "I could have lived in this fic forever" which is what I like to think is what most readers are trying to convey with comments like that.

Another one is who tops? Just don't, I'd say for that comment. I simply don't answer ones like that. But I'd say check the tags. If it's not tagged, either choose to move on if you have to know to read it or ctrl+F the fic yourself for the word "cock" or whatever. If the writer doesn't tag it, it means they didn't care about that. Or they got annoyed with their fics being reduced to that too often. PWP eh fine, but my 80k amnesia au I had a nervous breakdown writing that has one sex scene...eff off that's not what the fic is about. I once wrote a fic about grief. GRIEF! (well, and Antarctic scientists) that people argued over whether it was bottom Louis. And I resolved to never tag it again after that.

As for the fic as a gift vs not a gift I agree with you...I don't know what else you'd call something that is given for free. That's the definition of "gift." If someone reads the fic, a kudos is like a verbal thank you and a comment would be like a thank you card.

The comment anxiety thing I don't have an issue with myself, but I know writers who do and can't bring themselves to answer their comments. One of my friends feels so badly for not answering but when she tries she says her replies don't feel like enough. It's too bad that she can't answer due to actually loving her comments TOO much! Anxiety is a bitch for sure. For anyone who wants to leave a comment but is worried about it, I promise that super short ones or even keysmashes or emojis are very welcome! I have a mutual on tumblr who leaves the same comment on every one of my fics that simply says she loved the fic and I promise it makes me happy every single time because now I know she read it and enjoyed it whereas I might have missed whether or not she left a kudos. And when I see her on my dash, I think that's the one who loves my fics! :)

I swear I'm gonna stop rambling, but I want to end with one more thing. I think it would be interesting for readers and writers to experience a different fandom sometime if they're only in this one. It's not always a better/worse thing, but it might make people more open to trying new things like commenting/replying more or in different ways.

#tldr i know #ask #anon

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benkyoutobentou · 6 months

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31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day eighteen

Before: I'm going to the bookstore today! The plan is to study more Mandarin, then pick up the book for that book club that I'm crashing as well as a thank you note for the person who sent me all those volumes of manga. I especially want to mention the thank you note here because I really don't want to forget...

Also, I've been seeing more and more people online talking about that Ali Hazelwood book Check & Mate, and despite how little interest I have in anything she writes ever, seeing a book about chess being talked about so much makes me want to continue reading 3月のライオン so I'll probably pick that up either today or tomorrow, depending on how I'm feeling after I finish 独り舞.

And now that I have more free time, I really want to start that ASL course! So much to do, so much to do... I think I might do some thinking about how I want to schedule all my different languages...

After: As usual, I didn't get to the bookstore until quite a bit later than usual. I started my day with my favorite Sunday ritual (which had to be put off until today), which is watching the latest ゆびさきと恋々with a cup of tea. I love this series so much, I can't believe it's ending next week. It's so sweet, and I love how we got even more of Itsuomi speaking German this episode.

When I was finally ready to go to the bookstore, my dog begged for a walk. I can't go anywhere without taking her out first, and I can't say no either lol.

I have a few rituals that I use to get myself going and start being productive, and pone of them is making a cup of tea. I made myself a cup of tea to drink while I read, and then I drank my entire cup of tea while talking to my mom and still have not read a single page today.

I finished 独り舞！ I ended up reading thirty pages today over an hour and thirty five minutes, with an average reading pace of (miraculously) 3.2 pages per minute. I must’ve just been zooming through it, I never felt like I was sacrificing comprehension for speed (other than my usual ignoring of unknown vocabulary words). I guess this is what happens when I read in an undistracted environment?

Even though I didn’t have the best time reading 独り舞 I’m glad I read it. It’s a good book and one that I definitely want to return to when my Japanese is a higher level, because I think I could really enjoy it at the right times. That being said, it’s definitely not a book for everyone. It’s extremely depressing from beginning to end. There were moments that I thought would be the turning point, and then something got in the way. I really liked the way it presented the main character’s almost dissociation from herself with the way it only referred to her as 彼女 in the narration, and the linguistic aspects when writing in both Japanese and Chinese were cool to see as well. In a strange way, the end reminded me a bit of 僕らの地球の歩き方 despite the tones of the two being almost complete opposites.

#benkyou posting #langblr #studyblr #language learning #polyglot #booklr #30 days of productivity #didn’t start anything else today because I finished 独り舞 at like three am

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evolvingchaoswitch · 1 year

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Comprehensive Guide to your Traumatized Partner

Summary:

Reader and Rocket have agreed that their both shit at taking care of themselves and have decided to take care of one another. Follow them on the difficult journey of putting those words into action and figuring out what it really means to care for one another. And whatever intergalactic bullshit that the universe throws at them to make things harder than it needs to be.

Notes:

This is the same Reader from my previous Rocket x Reader fanfics, so if you need context I'd suggest giving those a read. To my Readers that have been following this chain of stories I hope you enjoy the ride, sidenote this is my first time writing since I've been medicated for my ADHD for the first time in my life, and I would love to hear in the comments if you notice a difference in quality levels. I was able to write this in two days rather than it taking a whole week to get half this chapter done and I'm really happy. Enjoy :D Just realized I forgot to put my fics up on Tumblr for my non Ao3 friends

Chapter 1: Jealously

Chapter Text

It had been a few days since your injury and for the most part your fellow Guardians were pretty chill over the fact that you weren’t ready to explain why you had wanted to leave. Today you finally bit the bullet and explained what had been going on in your head before that point with mixed reactions; you didn’t tell them about the hardcore fucking with Rocket or the deal the two of you had made. As per usual it was uncomfortable to try to be vulnerable in any way given your past history, you fought yourself against the urge to pinch or scratch yourself as a way of introducing pain to help you self regulate. You didn’t notice that Rocket was taking stock of your body language as if he was trying to build an internal database of some of your more subtle distress signals to look out for later.

You gave the cliff notes version of your personal history opting out of the gritter sections of your childhood, with Peter having such a close relationship to his Mother you couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t encourage you to reconnect with yours; though you didn’t use that word for her. You could tell that Mantis knew a bit more about what was going on about your general energy in the moment but seemed to understand the look you gave a moment ago. The clear look that any further interference with your emotional state would be taken as some major boundary stomping and to say you’d react poorly was a gross understatement. Drax placed a firm hand on your shoulder to give a comforting squeeze, it was usually the people that were good parents that picked up on some of your tone and language surrounding your biological ties.

Rocket stayed off to the side observing you before speaking “Ar’ight leave them alone that’s enough chit chat bout their personal stuff”

Could Rocket tell you were getting overwhelmed with the conversation or was he just sick of the conversation? Rocket wasn’t the best person at fully processing through his own trauma, maybe he thought it was better to shove the incident into the back of everyone’s minds rather than go through the uncomfortable emotions. You needed to have them understand one clear boundary before this conversation ended. You took a deep breath before letting your mask slide down a bit to deliver the most honest version of yourself for this sentence.

“I’m going to be writing in my journal again, and if any one on this ship even Groot reads through my personal thoughts and feelings without my consent there will be issues”

The calm coldness of your voice made a few of your shipmates very unused to that tone step back slightly.

“Issues?” Peter echoed the phrase back to you voice tinged with a nervousness that wasn’t there before.

You continued in the same frigid saccharine tone that you had used before “I’m a nice person till I’m not and when I’m not”

You stepped forward delighting in the fact that he instinctively stepped back trying to edge away from the energy you were putting off. He was frightened. Good. Afterall he was one of the ones that started the trend of thieving the journal from you before you had abandoned it.

“And when I’m not I tend to get spiteful” The slow foxlike smirk slowly painted itself over your lips.

“What happens when you get spiteful?” You could see the lesson was sinking into Peter's head rapidly but you needed to make sure they all had a good idea of what you actually were capable of.

“I get creative” You let the dangerous connotations of the phrase hang in the air before continuing.

“Couple that with the fact I have a particular skill at gathering personal information about the people around me due to being one of those quiet observers types I tend to get a lot of material to work with and you all know my thoughts about wasted resources”

You might not be top tier with your ability to outshine any of them physically but psychological warfare was your bread and butter. Being raised in such a toxic homelife had sharpened your senses and your ability to hurt people by exploiting their subtle vulnerabilities, you didn’t like to use the skill but no matter how much time passes between your use of it you could still wield it as masterfully as a maestro at their instrument.

“You do understand what I mean don’t you all” You slowly turned in place so that you made eye contact with each and every one of them with the same bite that you were giving Peter so they fully understood; even Rocket. You didn’t even speak that loudly but you knew that every one of them heard what you said and it was written all over their faces.

You tilted your head to the side, scrunching your face up in the same cute passive aggressive smile that you had perfected over the years “Fantastic” before letting the energy return to your usual chill state.

You decided to head back to your room to let the message fully sink in and to let the racing of your heart settle down. It wasn’t easy to let your mask down to show the uglier sides of your personality but it needed to be done. You needed something soft to cuddle and for a moment you thought about how snuggling with Rocket would be amazing. Either curling him into your body as he took the position of the little spoon, letting your energies soak into one another and drawing comfort from each other's presence. Maybe he’d try to be the big spoon letting you feel as small as you felt inside but from a point of safety for once, perhaps he’d even stroke behind your ear in the way that you loved; though that seemed impossible he didn’t even know about that spot.

Both scenarios felt unlikely after all it was clear to anyone that had eyes that Rocket’s experience in being touch starved led him to being touch adverse outside of sexual touches which wasn’t the headspace you needed to be in. You both needed to sit down to talk about what taking care of one another meant in practice, what the boundaries that needed to be respected and a bunch of other phrases that you had learned during your time in therapy but that could wait till after your nap. Reaching into a bag that you had hidden under the bed ages ago you pulled out Judy, your rainbow fox squishmellow to cuddle as you slept. You kept her out of sight to avoid her being messed with like your former journal was, and you really didn’t need to hear anyone raz on you for your comfort item. As your eyes drifted shut you made a note to journal when you woke up next to get a better idea of what to do with Rocket next.

Rocket had watched on the sidelines as you gave the gist around why you had wanted to leave earlier this week. He glared at each one of his crew mates as you spoke to ensure they kept their traps shut till you were done talking, judging by the way your hands were fidgeting Rocket figured this was hard for you. He was fucking awful at reaching out for help, being honest with his feelings and all that other mushy stuff for himself so he got how hard it was. Honestly he admired your bravery but he could also see how the conversation took its toll on you before you shifted topics.

Then the energy in the room altered as your voice had suddenly shifted to a tone he had never heard from you before which was both unnerving and sexy as flark. Somehow his Kit had managed to terrify every single one in that room for a moment and they didn’t even raise their voice. Every syllable that left your lips had this perplexing blend of syrupy sweetness and bitter cold that had managed to raise his hackles up; as well as his cock which twitched with excitement. Rocket knew that there was some type of edge to your personality that he was attracted to, and he was enjoying witnessing it. It was good for you to start acting like who you really were rather than faking it. He had been more than ready to start ribbing on Quill when your eyes turned on him as they did everyone else in the room individually and he swallowed whatever comment he was going to say.

Your eyes were practically slitted alight with a predatory glint that Rocket had only seen twice before and both had been while he was buried deep within those warm tight walls of yours. He was somewhat glad that you had left the room quickly before he ended up stripping you of your pants and pounding you rotten in front of everyone. You two were still figuring shit out and you didn’t need those morons making it any harder for the both of you. Rocket wasn’t quite sure where to start in that talking thing you both planned to do about your new situation but he did have an idea of how to keep everyone's mitts of your journal; even his.

Rifling through his tools he got to work on putting a lock on your journal that only your biometrics could open, and would record the last person who handled the book if it wasn’t you. You had explained to him earlier that keeping all your thoughts swirling in your head made you feel anxious and put you in a bad way. He was hoping this would help and show you that he was sorry for messing with your journal without having to say it out loud; he still wasn’t great with giving apologies.

Rocket got up off of his work station after he had finished the lock to go track down where you had made your way off to. Rocket wasn’t a fan of how much you holed yourself up in your room but he couldn’t say anything. Something told him that being hypocritical would do him no favors, and he was really hoping to get back into bed with you again. A delightful shiver trickled down his spine as memories of the last encounter flooded his cerebellum, his mouth watered remembering how good you tasted quivering under his tongue.

Rocket entered your room after knocking only to be greeted with the sight of you sleeping back to the door. He watched as you rolled over in your sleep clutching some fat rainbow animal thing that you were squeezing tightly to yourself, burying your face in what looked like soft material. Intellectually Rocket understood that this had to be one of those Terran comfort items that both you and Quill had tried to explain to him when you first joined the crew. What Rocket couldn’t understand was why he felt so annoyed at the mere existence of the thing. Made no flarkin sense since there was no contest between him and it as to who was better after all he was real.

Rocket heard you made out a little whimper in your sleep, most likely from a nightmare judging by the microexpressions that spread across your face signaling your distress. Rocket didn’t like what he saw, it made something in his chest clench uncomfortably that had nothing to do with his forced enhancements, the feeling only got stronger when he could smell the scent of tears. He instinctively raised his paw to wipe the few tears that had escaped, as soon as you felt the warmth he watched as you moved your head towards his touch and your face started to relax a little.

It was taking Rocket a moment to catch up to the fact that his touch soothed you in some way, and he wondered what would happen if he gave you some more access to his touch. Edging the rainbow thing out of your arms slowly so as not to disturb you, he slipped into the space that it had previously occupied settling into the crook of your neck. Rocket figured that he owed you some cuddling to make up for not doing any the first time you two had sex and sending you on that downward spiral that almost had you; Rocket couldn’t finish the sentence.

He felt as your arms adjusted around him pulling him closer as you breathed in his scent before a calm smile slowly spread across your face replacing the frown that had been there seconds ago. Rocket usually didn’t like cuddling, it made him feel claustrophobic being forced into such close proximity to others like he was in one of those prison sleep piles but something about this was nice. At first he was sure you were confusing him for that squishy thing that you were holding earlier then he felt you nuzzle the top of his head and mumbled “Rocket snuggles” in a contented murmur.

Rocket couldn’t tell you at what point he had drifted off to better sleep than he had gotten in the last while but if he had to hazard a guess it had to be shortly after that.

You had thought you had woken up from your rest but there was no way that Rocket was cuddling you in every way you wished he had before and have it not be a dream. You took a moment to adjust to your waking state before confirming that yes it was Rocket curled into your side, gently purring up a storm in his sleep as your hand had unconsciously started stroking his head at some point. You bent your head down to place a soft kiss on the top of his head, giving a little bit of extra love to where he needed it most. You could feel him start to stir as he slowly woke up. Your eyes drifted over to where Judy had been unceremoniously tossed across the room further away from you than if you had dropped her in your sleep.

You found yourself looking down at his beautiful maroon colored eyes before you made the connection that he was awake.

“Hey” You said as gently as you could, taking into consideration how close your mouth was to his ear. You watched as he gave out a long yawn before he spoke “Hey” . You noticed that he didn’t do anything to remove himself from your arms immediately which made your heart skip with joy.

“Don’t remember falling asleep embracing you but I’m not unhappy with the update, though why does it look like Judy was thrown across the room?”

“Is tat what it’s name is?” You could see Rocket narrow his eyes at your squishmellow like she had wronged him somehow, then an insane concept crossed your mind.

“Rocket, did you yeet Judy across the room to take her place?” You watched as his ears twitched in slight annoyance at the mention of her again.

“Don’t know whatcha talkin about” You could feel him blushing through his fur as he tried to deny it, you couldn’t help but pull him in for a hug without saying anything further, you didn’t want to mess up the moment.

“What brought you to my room for a visit? Usually you’re tinkering on something by now” You pressed into him further hoping to convey that you enjoyed his presence in your arms.

Rocket gestured over to your table where some new invention of his laid “Made you that, it’ll keep your journal locked up an safe from prying eyes once you equip it” he snickered “It’ll even take a recording of who dicked with it so you can shame em later for it” Of course Rocket would build in a punishment that was so on brand for him.

You smiled down at him “Well thank you, I love it” You placed a gentle kiss on the tip of his maw enjoying the smile that spread on his face. Gifts were most definitely his love language. You opened your arms to let him escape from your grip, you didn’t want to push any of his boundaries by holding onto him too tightly. You felt as he corrected your arms to wrap around him again much to your delight “I ain’t movin unless you want me to” The second part of the sentence was said surprisingly softly compared to his usual brash tone.

You looked down at him sheepishly “I just know you don’t like being touched that much for non sexy things, so I didn’t want to push for more but I love this so much” You were trying to fight your blush down but were failing spectacularly.

“I like your touch, it’s calming” He said so softly that you almost missed it “And both of us touch starved schmucks need it more than that thing does” He gestured over at Judy who was smiling from her position on the floor.

You dismissed the idea of giving him some good natured teasing and opted instead to remove his top then yours. He looked confused till you brought him back in the snuggling position you had been before, now nestled skin to fur, and you were certain he didn’t hear the contented trilling noise he had made but you were going to keep that in your mind forever.

Nothing more needed to be said at the moment, not aloud at the very least, it could all wait till later. For now nothing in the galaxy existed but you and him; and that was all that mattered.

Chapter Management

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Chapter 2: University Major

Summary:

Rocket has new tech that has an effect on his relationship with the Reader, and Reader has some feelings about this new piece of tech. Throw in a trip to one of the hottest dance clubs in the galaxy? Well you're in for a good time or are you?

Notes:

Note: References to pro-Cannabis use and call out to an OC of a friend of mine Mr.Cosmic intergalactic DJ and weed connoisseur, whose tokes are literally out of this world. I hope you enjoy looking forward to see any comments left and till next time :)

Chapter Text

Something was going to change about your current situation before the end of the night or you were going to SNAP, CRACKLE and POP! At the beginning of last week you had finally thought that Rocket was finally in a good enough place for the two of you to finally define what taking care of one another meant, neither one of you was fantastic with trying to explain what you needed from another person, so the conversation was going to be a doozy. Then on the last mission Rocket managed to get his delightfully devious paws around a new piece of technology that he had become completely obsessive over. Trying to get his attention was impossible. He was completely bewitched by his new toy and you were completely pissed that he went from being jealous of your Squishmellow cuddling you to falling asleep at his work bench instead of spending the night with you.

You were also beginning to feel that twisting ball of nerves that clenched painfully in your stomach every time Rocket brushed you off, maybe the two of you weren’t right for each other. Afterall Rocket got what he really wanted out of you during the interaction that started it all, he hadn’t approached you for any more sex; was this his way of ghosting you? You shoved your Bluetooth earphones in and started blasting a song into your cerebellum to distract from your thoughts. You ended up listening to Fixer Upper by Chandler Leighton on repeat in a delightful bout of echolalia before finally feeling good enough to join the others in one of the many hangout spots on the Milano.

You stepped into the edges of the conversation that was already in progress to get an idea of what everyone was talking about so excitedly. Apparently the Milano was headed to the hottest club in the galaxy run by the man that brought the chill to every event, Mr.Cosmic. The club was called The Blazing Place which housed one of the biggest dance floors on that side of the galaxy, including designated places on the dance floor that left space for people to add floor work to their dancing. There was also a gambling floor for people to enjoy their hands at lady luck, you could hear Rocket boasting about how many suckers he planned to target at the poker tables. You swallowed down a bitter lump of disappointment. He wasn't even going to ask if you might want to do something with him, so fuck him then.

You were smart enough to read the writing on the wall when it came to determining if someone was actually into you and whatever that moment you both had was now over. So now to get over him, maybe try to get a one night stand for the evening. It had never been your usual style but maybe it was time to try to venture out of your comfort zone. Some booze, some Terran dance music ; the club's specialty; and the decent chance that at least one being might find you attractive enough to invest some time into. You were not going to let another persons problems with commitment roped you into staying in a situation longer than was healthy to; fuck that!

You had taken a little longer to get ready than the rest of the group but you knew where they were going so you had told them to go on ahead. You pulled on your favorite black crop top with a deep v-cut in the front that clung to you like a second skin preventing your chest from going anywhere when you dance but still providing some delightfully saucy levels of cleavage. A pair of black leather like pants that gave your tiny tush the type of lift that made your legs look like they went on forever, thick heeled metal accented boots served two purposes of fulfilling your aesthetic needs and being safe to dance in without breaking your ankle.

You clipped in a few extensions into your hair to give it a bit more length to flip around on the dance floor, you did love some good hairography to go along with whatever string of moves you put together. You went sultry with your makeup extending your eyeliner into sharper points in both corners of your eyes, and it would be blasphemy to not pair the look with your favorite shade of red lipstick aptly named I am Fierce. What other shade of color could be more perfect. Pulling on your favorite spiked choker that proudly read CHAOS and slid your litany of mismatching earrings into your many piercings you headed into the club.

The club was filled with splotches of green and blue on its walls that really reminded you of fruit gushers for some reason that escaped you. It was a pleasing array of shades to look at coupled with the different levels of flashing lights towards the dance floor that beckoned to you but something ended up stopping you from immediately heading over to the dance floor, someone was calling your name. You turned to see who it was because it didn’t sound like any of your crewmates and to your astonishment it was your old roommate from university Stacy.

In the standard way of two neurodivergent friends that hadn’t seen each other in a few years the two of you circled around each other like excited dogs and asked rapid fire questions to catch up. Like what the fuck she was doing in space; tourism apparently; and what the fuck you were doing in space ; helping your crew. You two linked arms heading to the bar to get something to drink before heading to one of the floor work safe areas both agreeing to split the cost of the floorspace for the next three hours. You had donated many hours to dancing with her at clubs to help her pick up some one night stands so it was time for Stacy to return the favor and if you weren’t able to get anyone that you felt safe with you’d go bang it out with her. Just like the old days.

To your delight the both of you danced just as well as you did back when you were on the same dance team, this club wasn’t ready for this pair of dance majors that was for damn sure.

Rocket was grinning behind his glass of Delorian whiskey as he watched some other poor sucker lose money to his superior gambling skills at the table he was playing at. Quill had been right, the trip to the club was what the crew needed. Each one of them wandered their way to the part of the club that suited their entertainment needs and each one seemed to be having a good time. Rocket briefly wondered what the newest member of the crew was up to, he wasn’t expecting the wave of guilt that accompanied the thought, he hadn’t paid a lot of attention to them in the last week. Too wrapped up in that sexy piece of tech he managed to get his hands on, he didn’t even realize it had been a week since he went to see them and he was really hoping the outing he planned for the two of you with all the money he just won would make up for it.

Rocket decided to go sit down with Quill to see whatever the twat was so obsessed with watching on the multiple screens littered in different lounge set ups in the club.

“Whatcha watching Quill?” He figured just asking outright would be the best course of action.

Peter took another swallow of his own drink before turning to Rocket “ It’s footage from the dance floor, you can vote for your favorite section of the floor if you really like someone dancing or if it’s so bad you want to enjoy watching the person fuck up”

Rocket was about to ask Pete if he saw anything from the dance floor concerning their newest crew member when a voice rang through the comm system of the club.

“THIS IS MR.COSMIC SHOUTING OUT FROM THE DANCE FLOOR, WHERE TWO DANCE MAJORS ARE PUTTING ON ONE HELL OF A SHOW ! TUNE INTO SCREEN 6 TO WATCH AND ENJOY THE VIBES PARTY PEOPLE!!!”

Rocket got his answer as to where you went as he watched the screen switch to footage from the dance floor to where the object of his affection was enjoying themselves, looking sexier than he had ever seen them. The blonde dancing with them wasn’t hard on the eyes by any measure but he wasn’t comfortable with the amount of familiarity each showed when touching each other's bodies, though he couldn’t bring himself to move from his seat staring at the screen.

Tell me what you want, what you like, it's okay

I'm a little curious too

Each dancer walked towards the other slowly before meeting in the middle tentatively cupping each other's face in a shy but gently teasing manner.

Tell me if it's wrong, if it's right, I don't care

I can keep a secret, can you?

Both dragged a finger over their lips before slowly pointing at each other with a playful flirtation behind the flourishes of the hand movement.

Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind

Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite

Their respective hands dragged their way from the head tapping it gently before sliding sensually down the torso before reversing the action back up the body. Licking the lower lip as if to get the traces of cherry off the lip before nipping at the air in front of them.

Don't tell your mother

Kiss one another

Die for each other

We're cool for the summer

Each leaned in close ghosting lips over one another before clawing down the column of each other's throats, leaving angry red marks trailing down the opposite side of each throat. Suddenly both broke apart to strut to opposite sides of the rented space.

Rocket’s breath caught in his throat when the two almost kissed, and then had to push down the feelings of possessiveness when he saw the welt on the side of your neck. Who was that blonde bitch that thought she had the right to leave marks on his Kit and before he could ruminate on the thought further his jaw dropped at the energy behind the strut. The look in their eyes when they strutted clearly spelt out the message bitches bow down; they were taking what they wanted with full unabashed confidence; Rocket hoped he got to be bitches in this situation.

Take me down into your paradise

Don't be scared, 'cause I'm your body type

Just something that we wanna try

'Cause you and I, we're cool for the summer

Sliding hands down over the crotch to give clear indication to what paradise was , rolling the bodies down slowly before snapping their heads up into a well timed hair flip with the music. Rapid small movements showing the control each dancer had over their abdominal muscles, coupled with rolling hips and arm movements that flowed in time with the beat occasionally slowing down for emphasis.

The lyrics faded out to Rocket for a moment as he focused on the way Kits body responded to the mystery blonde, was she an old lover or someone looking to become a new lover? He watched as the blonde splayed themselves down on the floor, arms above her head ,legs open wide as Kit slid over their body grinding before rolling their body against the woman then guiding her back up onto her feet and into the next set of moves for their dance.

Rocket had always been impressed by the way his Kit had moved even before he tied them to the bed. He had loved watching them scale buildings and whatever was in the way really during missions, the level of trust they had in themselves to make each jump astounded him. The dark corners of Rockets mind reached out to coax him into remembering why you had taken up the hobby you had at that level, it was his Kits version of an indirect suicide attempt each time they jumped or climbed something before he forcibly put some safety tech in their gear. For once the darkness in his mind was unable to take root this evening because Rocket was too entranced by the swinging hips of his darling Kit.

We're cool for the summer

The next strut across the dance floor had both dancers give their breasts a quick grab in an aggressive but suggestive way, licking their lips as they did so, before dropping their hips down and rocking them side to side.

Shh, don't tell your mother

Got my mind on your body and your body on my mind

Got a taste for the cherry, I just need to take a bite

(Take me down)

Rocket watched as you slid in front of the mystery blonde only to have hands heavy over your body directing where your body needed to move to make it look like you were seeking the blondes touch. Rocket couldn’t help but let out a small growl as he watched as the two nearly kissed again before losing the sound to the echoing of his own dropped jaw. Kit had gone from standing on two feet to moving into a perfectly timed body roll right against the floor, before just as quickly moving into the next series of moves.

“Goddamn they are good at floorwork”

Rocket for the first time since the dancing started remembered Quill was sitting right next to him and he did not appreciate that leering look he was giving them. Peter looked at the glare Rocket gave him before quirking his head to the side in confusion.

“What I can enjoy the view, it’s not like they’re with anyone and they are clearly looking for some fun tonight. If not with the smoking hot blonde then with someone else”

Peter turned to look at his clearly aggravated friend with more attention than he had previously been giving to ask the question that had been stuck on his mind for the last while and it would clear up whether or not he should go join you on the dancefloor. One thing was certain at the end of the night was that the newest crewmate was going to officially be the one they ended any dance battles with; you were a goddamn assassin on the dance floor.

“What’s going on with you two? Thought you both were a thing, especially seeing all the marks you left on them but in the last week especially you’ve been ignoring them and every attempt they made to get your attention in favor of playing with the new tech you got your hands on instead. You ghosting them or something because I know I’ve been guilty of it in the past but dude not cool if you are”

Rocket’s ears flattened to his head, he’d known he had failed to pay attention to his Kit in the last week but he didn’t realize how many times they had tried to initiate during that week. He thought they were just really happy he had something to play with, and didn’t even think to look closer into the situation to see if his assumption was based in fact. Flark he was an asshole.

“What the flark is ghosting?” Rocket tried to pull some of the self loathing into aggression in his voice instead, after all Pete was contemplating shooting his shot and he needed to shut that shit down asap.

Even he recognized when he spoke that his voice failed to have the level of bite he wanted from it.

“It’s when you start shutting down communication with a person somewhat abruptly, I mean it’s not entirely the same since it’s pretty obvious what your time is going to, but it is kinda similar”

Peter took another gulp of his drink “Look whatever issues you two got going on, you both need to figure that shit out, before” He started to trail off not knowing how to finish the sentence off without potentially pissing Rocket off.

“Before?” Rocket didn’t like the mixture of emotions on Peter’s face.

“Before our darling crewmate decides that the lack of clarification from your end means that you’re no longer interested in pursuing anything further with them”

Rocket watched as Peter’s eyes trailed back to the screen again before pointing at it “Afterall an outfit with dance moves like that? That’s someone putting the clear vibe out that they want to be seen as attractive and would like some attention”

Rocket looked up at the screen himself to see what the dance moves that Peter was trying to call attention to.

Gotta be compatible

Takes me to my limits

Girl, when I break you off

I promise that you won't want to get off

If you're horny, let's do it

Ride it, my pony

My saddle's waitin'

Come and jump on it

The variety of different moves that you were able to pull off while having your knees on the dancefloor both impressed and aroused him. Rocket downed his drink quickly before heading down to the dance floor, as he had some misunderstandings to clear up before he had to shove his blaster up the nostrils of some misinformed dumbass that tried to touch you. He waved Quill off as he told him good luck, he didn’t need it after all he was damn good at getting the results he wanted when he put his mind to it.

You were having a blast dancing with Stacy, spinning around each other just like old times, and judging by the amount of eyes on you during your dancing it was safe to say it wouldn’t be hard to find a partner to lick your wounds with. You headed over to the bathrooms opting to wait outside for her to finish when you felt someone grab your hand, in a grip that you were very familiar with.

“Can we talk?” You looked down to lock eyes with Rocket's dark whiskey colored eyes, you could see the jealousy he was trying to squash down and the gruffness of his voice did nothing to disguise that the question was more of a demand than request.

You snatched your hand back “I don’t know Rocket you seem to be far happier when I’m not talking to you” You glowered at him not bothering to hide the hostility in your eyes, you were sick of feeling like you were just an afterthought, it just re-enforced to you the belief that you were too much for anyone in a relationship to handle.

“I just wanna talk to yeah, Kit” He shouted over the music more aggressively than he had meant to, he wasn’t used to you being so pissed at him and he wasn’t responding well to it at all.

Rocket watched as your face glowed with rage, a vicious scowl cutting across your lips, eyes filled with a fury he wasn’t used to being directed at him and he could see your hands clench having the nails bite into the skin.

“YOU DON’T GET TO USE PET NAMES WHEN YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING ME FOR A WEEK! IF I’M NOT WORTH INVESTING ATTENTION IN JUST TELL ME AND I CAN MOVE ON YOU FUCKING COWARD!!”

Your face was flushed a deep red, your breathing coming into your lungs in quick frenzied breaths, and your entire body trembling with rage. How fucking dare he! You were going to tear him a new orifice but then suddenly you heard a voice interrupt the blossoming fight.

“Hello Friends, I get that you’re trying to sort some shit out but we don’t need you killing everyone's vibes. So here is a private room for you to hash it out in. Peace Bitches!!”

All you remember was seeing the swirl of the galaxy before finding yourself with Rocket in a very comfy pale blue room accented with an array of lush plants and plush looking furniture in shades of dark oak brown.

“Did I just see the entirety of the galaxy or did the entirety of the galaxy see me?” You plopped down on the couch taking note of how comfortable it felt as you reoriented yourself with reality.

“I have no idea” Rocket inhaled for the joint that was already lit in his mouth “When the flark did I get a joint?”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes “Mr.Cosmic, duh” You took a drag from your joint that you forgot you were smoking. Where did I? You already answered your own question.

Rocket took another draw of the joint exhaling it through his muzzle “I didn’t realize that I was ignoring you right away and I didn’t want to approach you till I had planned some grand event to make it up to you. Guess I screwed the pooch with that huh?”

Your shoulder slumps as you leaned forward “Always the engineer eh Rocket? Can’t show someone a solution till it’s finished. I would have just preferred if you went to bed with me yesterday” You took a harsh inhale of the joint “I even made a big production of dragging Judy around near you announcing like a git that it was bedtime and I was going to enjoy a nice cuddle that night and no reaction from you at all”

Rocket wanted to smack himself on the forehead, thinking back that must have been why Gamora suggested that he go to bed last night instead of falling asleep at his work bench again.

“Why didn’t you just snatch the ting out of my hands if you wanted my attention?” Rocket’s voice was low, he couldn’t understand why you didn’t just snatch the item out of his paws if you wanted attention. Others have done it before so why didn’t you?

A hollow chuckle escaped your lips “Like that wouldn’t have gotten me bitten”

“I wouldn’t have bitten you” Rocket could feel his hackles start to raise as he snapped out the phrase harsher than he meant to.

Irritation slipped into your voice with every syllable “You bit Mantis twice a month ago for doing the same thing you’re suggesting and it clearly bothers you when people do that Rocket. I’d never disrespect such a clear and obvious boundary that you were presenting!”

Rocket didn’t know what to say he wasn’t that great at the emotional talkin stuff, getting people over their rock bottom moments he could flarkin do that no damn problem but trying to do the same about current issues, that was hard for him.

“I wouldn’t have bitten you” He placed a paw on your shoulder only to have you shrug it off and turn away from him, slowly curling into yourself as the last wisps of the joint slipped out of your mouth.

“Of course you wouldn’t have” The bitterness in your voice surprised Rocket “You haven’t approached me for sex at all” You turned to look at Rocket hating that there was no way that he couldn’t see the tears threatening to escape from the edges of your eyes “If I was some curiosity you sated and decided it wasn’t good enough fucking tell me!!” You turned your head away “Don’t fucking lead me on and hope that finally someone might want to deal with my damage enough to actually put the effort in”

You were fully crying though not facing Rocket.

Rocket couldn’t believe what he was hearing! Did you not remember how he responded to you the first time you both slept together? How completely enthralled he was with every reaction he was able to pull from your incredibly responsive body? He didn’t want to scare you with his libido, with how he wanted to feel your skin on his fur, how much he wanted to sleep with you still buried deep into that delightful pussy of yours just so he could go to bed feeling as connected to a person as closely as physically possible.

“I can’t deal with another person saying that they want to put in the effort to know my damage, to want to help with it and then silently reneging on the offer without giving me the update. Leaving me to keep hoping that maybe this time I’m enough, that this time someone is going to say something and mean it. That I’m not going to be abandoned just like the stray I am once the novelty of me has worn off to then”

Your body shook with sobs.

“I just can’t” The sentence was broken up through shaky inhales of breath and tears.

Rocket was floored to hear what had just come out of your mouth, it would seem that his Kit had just as shitty an inner voice as he did. He also wanted to hunt down every asshat that had made you feel that way but right now you needed assurance and he was going to give it to you but he knew he needed to show through actions as talk was cheap to you.

Rocket leaned over your hunched form, nuzzling at your tear streaked face and started to lick away at the tears which caused you to turn your head confused. He took the opportunity offered to get his head under your chin to start purring underneath it hoping the vibrations would soothe you. You weren’t shoving him away so that had to be a good sign right? He gently pushed you down on the plush couch while pushing himself further into your torso, trying to get as much skin to fur as he could get. He removed his top before continuing with what he had started.

He hoped that this would work.

He heard the quick inhale of breath when one of his fangs nipped under your chin as he was giving it soft reassuring licks and he couldn’t help himself but he nibbled again. He continued to kiss the column of your throat, leaving small occasional nips just to keep hearing the delightful sound you made every time he did. He was elated in how you moved your body so responsively to his touch, arcing your torso towards him making it easy to start slowly dragging his paw over the tops of your breasts. He kissed the small bit of skin behind your ear that he had unintentionally ignored during your last physical tryst, and instantly regretted not capitalizing on the bundle of nerves sooner because the noises you made were downright criminal in all the best ways.

Taking both hands off of your breasts for a moment, Rocket cupped your face drawing you into a long sensual kiss. You felt as he left several small kisses on your lips as if to leave his mark on every section before sliding his tongue into your mouth.

Rocket felt so relieved when you kissed back, the feeling of your arms wrapping his torso gave him the confidence to keep going as he reached down to unclip your top. He smiled into the kiss as he felt the warmth of each exposed breast against his torso, feeling as each nipple started to harden in response to the sensation of his fur against them. He could already smell evidence of your arousal currently pooling within your underwear as you both kissed, and he didn’t think he could get harder but there you were making him surprise himself.

He broke the kiss to continue nipping at your neck with added pressure, addicted to getting to hear those sounds come out of your mouth again, and they only got better when he got his deft fingers around those pert nipples of yours. Enjoying every second of listening to you lose control over your vocal capabilities as he lightly tortured each nipple, gently scraping his claw over each. Kissing down your torso he could feel your hands stroke the top of his head as he kissed over the tops of each freed breast, enjoying the combination of scents that was currently soaking your body, the lingering smells of the dance floor, the smoke from the joint you just smoked and all the enticing smells that peaked out from your lower half.

“R…ock…et”

Was all that was able to slip out of your mouth once Rocket got his jaw around one of your tasty mounds, tongue spoiling the delicate areola with tender sensation.

Rocket grinned at the eager response as his other paw busied itself kneading the other breast so that it didn’t feel neglected, before switching breasts lavishing the right with just as much enthusiasm as he did the left.

Your head felt dizzy with sensation as your body was painfully sensitive to his touch and some small part of your brain reminded you that solving communication issues with sex is what started this all but you were unable to focus once he slid off your pants.

Rocket’s mouth watered in anticipation as he was staring at your sopping wet mewling quim, flushed with arousal, your clitoris peaking out erect begging for attention. He took a second to let his hot breath wash over the delicate flesh watching in delight as it trembled in response before getting his tongue around his new favorite snack. Rocket quickly went to work reacquainting himself with every contour of your labia, sucking on each gently relishing in each moan that you let out before securing his maw against your clit. Rocket made sure he had good suction around the delectable nub that he was about to torture, as he lazily stroked the clit in small circles before alternating to bigger ones. He loved how your thighs trembled on either side of his head as he sucked the clit directly keeping it lightly trapped between two of his fangs. He switched to a rapid flicking of his tongue vertically as he switched tempo between soft and hard sucking, you came seconds later.

Rocket didn’t stop there fully intent to flood your body with so much dopamine and serotonin that you wouldn’t be able to entertain such stupid thoughts when you two finally got to the talking aspects of the issues you were having but for now this time was for your pleasure.

Rocket’s tongue stroked each inner wall of your cunt like he was trying to make his own 3-D model of it in his head. It didn't take long for him to find the location of the small ridged section of your velvety walls that marked the sensitive bundle of nerves that was your g-spot nor did it take him long to start manipulating said bundle of nerves to the point that your knees turned to jelly. Rocket continued to thrust his tongue at a pistons speed not content with the few orgasms that he had already coaxed from your willing body already, no he wanted to make sure you were thoroughly lubricated when he finally slid in. Though the pre-cum leaking from his fully erect cock was sure to help ease himself into you.

Rocket pulled away once he felt that he was satisfied with his work and judging by the lustful glaze that clouded your pretty irises he had a right to be proud. He smirked at the whimper you made as he rubbed the head of his cock up and down the soaked labia that he had just had his tongue around before slowly sinking into his favorite type of warmth. He rolled his hips into yours slowly enjoying the gasp you made as he did, he was even more enthused to watch the hips that had tormented him on the dance floor, roll to meet his with a degree of urgency that made him feel real good about himself.

Rocket kept his pace slow, deliberate so that you could feel every point of contact from each other whenever he thrust in, all you could do was chant his name like a prayer or a curse before wrapping your legs around him to bring him closer. You needed him closer.

Rocket busied himself groping your breasts as he continued to thrust, he would have preferred to take things slower but he just couldn’t. He needed to feel this closeness with you if the communication problem was ever going to be fixed. Rocket bit into the side of your neck as he came, lightly panting from the exertion and you could hear a few quiet contented trills as Rocket enjoyed the aftermath of his orgasm.

You were expecting him to slide out, and put distance between the both of you like the last time but to your surprise Rocket made no moves to get up.

“I wanna be close with you like this all the time, but it’s not something we could pull off living and working on a ship. And I didn’t want to scare you off with how much I like touchin yah”

You looked down at Rocket sighing lightly to yourself, you were both a pair of idiots that liked to assume what the other was thinking and the meaning behind each action.

“We need to have that actual talk, Rocket, we can’t keep doing this back and forth dance of assuming what the other is up to then getting it wrong. I can’t handle the emotional whiplash”

Your eyes were begging him to agree.

Rocket looked up at you “You’re right” he paused before an idea crossed his mind “Maybe we can go on a trip just the two of us to hash this all out without our idiot crewmates making commentary?”

He was trying so hard, and it did sound like a good idea for you both “Alright Rocket, that sounds great”

The smile that he gave you in response was infectious and you couldn’t help but smile back as well.

Though neither of you meant to, the both of you fell asleep in the private room of The Blazing Place but woke up in your room on the Milano with a few pre-rolled joints on your bedside table and a note that read: Glad you two were able to work things out. Enjoy these joints to help you both keep up with the new better vibes!Come back anytime!

Mr.Cosmic

You decided to fall back asleep in Rocket's arms dreaming of quality time spent on the vacation you had yet to plan but things were looking up. @raccoonfallsharder @watchersclaws-blog

#ao3 fanfic #rocket raccoon & reader #rocket raccoon x reader #rocket raccoon fanfic #rocket raccoon #ao3 tags #domestic fluff #mental health issues and sarcasm are what i have in common with rocket raccoon

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