#this is really really long so i am not going to go back and edit it but i guess you can ask for clarification

[it-happened-one-fic]

Together - Azul

Summary: This has been sitting and gathering dust in my google docs for so long. I finally decided it was time to pull it out and post it just a couple of days ago though. I wrote and edited this piece while listening to the song "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5. As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff with angst/ pining/ comfort/ sfw/ romance

Word Count: 1554

I inhaled slowly and deeply, balancing myself and forcing myself to return to the reality of the moment I was in. 

It didn’t matter how much I wanted to return home or how much I wondered what might happen if I couldn’t return home. 

It also didn’t matter how much I simultaneously feared being abandoned by my small group of friends after we finished school or how hollow I felt right now. What mattered was this present moment.

I glanced over at the man next to me, letting myself observe him and his methodical motions as a way to stabilize myself. 

Azul was shuffling, stacking, and scanning through an unholy number of documents. Something to do with being housewarden and running the Mostro Lounge.

I tilted my head as I watched him through my peripheral vision. Both his brow and nose wrinkled slightly as he read something he didn’t like, and I felt myself smile even despite my current mood.

I didn’t know when I’d gotten close to Azul, but… it had happened. And he was my friend now. 

I was fairly certain that it was a fact that had my other friends questioning my sanity. Even Riddle had voiced some concerns about Azul’s nature. Scheming was the word he used, I believed.

I distantly heard Azul clear his throat, and I snapped back to reality in time to see him staring at me awkwardly, “Y/n… You’re staring.”

I jerked, leaning back out of the relaxed position I’d just been in with my chin propped on a supporting hand as I’d watched him, “Sorry! I just zoned out.”

Azul frowned, laying down the sheet of paper he’d been holding as he twisted to better look at me, “And you’ve been doing that all day. Is everything alright?”

I smiled slightly, amused that he seemed so genuinely concerned when I'd just been thinking about my friend's warnings of his duplicitous nature, “I’m fine, just a little tired, I guess.”

He hummed, standing and collecting his coat in one smooth motion as he spoke, “Then perhaps I should walk you home for the evening. Can’t have you wandering around in a daze after all.”

He finished with a slight chuckle, but I reacted faster than my brain could process my motions. My hands clamped down on his arm, stopping his motions and causing him to look at me in startled confusion. 

Confusion that was mirrored in my own thoughts. I hadn’t realized I’d be that desperate to stop him even though I’d already known that I really didn’t want to be alone right this instant. I faltered, though, as I attempted to explain my actions, “I, uh, want to stay for a bit longer.”

His eyebrows rose incredulously, and I faltered even further as he frowned. His hand found mine, gently loosening its grasp on his arm and holding it in his own as he knelt in front of me.

I almost wanted to lean back as he held eye contact with me, concern shining in those eyes that were practically the color of a pale winter sky, “Y/n, what on earth is the matter?”

I pulled my hand out of his, locking both my hands together and laying them in my lap. I attempted a smile, wishing that hollow feeling had just been allowed to fade into oblivion without him noticing. “Nothing, Azul. I’m fine, really, just a little out of it.”

He sighed but didn’t move as he lowered his head slightly, his face now hidden by the brim of his hat, “I’m aware that I am not always the most comforting individual, but you can always talk to me.” He raised his head, looking at me with a unique determination in his eyes that promised he wasn’t giving up and wasn’t just going to let this go easily.

And that was how I knew he wasn’t just ‘scheming’ or ‘duplicitous,’ though those words certainly could be applied to him.

Azul was someone who did indeed love his little plots but would also drop everything to help someone that he cared about when it was necessary. Because outside of Jade, Floyd, and Idia, Azul didn’t seem to have many people that he viewed as friends. Much less those that he would open up to. 

He was even a little bit in denial about his friendship with the twins.

Which was why the fact that I was one of the people he cared about enough to help, and even acknowledged it himself, was beyond touching.

I held his gaze, forcing myself to build confidence and talk to him. I didn’t want to open up about my fears, but… I needed to. Especially if I was worrying those close to me. 

“I was just thinking about the future,” My voice came out soft, but he nodded. His expression carefully controlled as he listened to me. 

I smiled slightly at the position he was in, kneeling in front of me with his hands resting easily on my knees as I continued, “I think I’m just afraid of what will come. The uncertainty of everything.”

He smiled at my confession and nodded, “As am I. I often wonder what will happen to us in the future. Whether you and I will stay in close contact or….”

He trailed off, a bitter frown crossing his face as he looked away, and I felt my smile turn sad, “Or if I’ll return home?”

He jolted at my quiet question, meeting my gaze with wide eyes, and I lifted one shoulder, not surprised by his concerns since I shared them, “So do I.”

I watched him droop slightly at my words, and I frowned, leaning forward to get a better look at him, “Azul?” 

His eyes flicked back up to mine once more, and he looked… ashamed?

“Can I be honest with you?” I blinked in surprise at his restrained tone but nodded. Azul could get emotional sometimes, but he typically didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him. He usually preferred to hide away in his octo-pot, out of sight and safe in the darkness where no one could see him or his emotions.

In fact, it was amusingly hypocritical of him to push me to talk to him.

He inhaled steadily and started, “I don’t entirely know what to do here. I want to comfort you, but…. Well, you’re no fool; I’m sure you know how greedy I can be.”

I felt my eyebrows raise at his words, but I forced myself to stay silent, watching as he started to nervously toy with my fingers.

 “I want you to be happy, even if that means you leaving and returning to wherever it is you come from, but…. But I also want you to stay here…with me.”

I felt myself starting to smile, half-shocked but also incredibly touched by his words as he lifted his head. Meeting my stare with an unsure smile and slightly wet eyes, “I really didn’t think I would get this attached to you, Y/n.” 

I felt my lips part slightly in shock, but he didn’t give me a chance to answer. Instead, he forged ahead. Almost like he was unable or too afraid to stop now, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this out of control. I knew when I let myself fall for you I’d never recover, but I let it happen anyway. And now that I know I could lose you, I don’t know what to do.”

My voice wavered when I started to try and answer him, “Azul-”

He didn’t let me answer, continuing, almost desperately, “I know I’m not the best man, and I’m sure you’ve been told that by numerous people, but… I think I can improve. I’ve already started doing better because of you. Because of what you’ve shown me. I think-”

“Azul, it’s fine,” I cut him off, grasping his hands in mine. He stared at me wide eyed, as I continued, smiling down at him as I spoke and squeezing his hands slightly.

“It’s fine if you’re scared, and don’t you dare start thinking you aren’t worthy of me or my time. I love you, and I am staying with you right here and right now with you, the way you are in this instant. If you want to change, then you can, but don’t ever feel like you have to. Definitely not for me. If you want to change, do it for yourself.”

I rubbed my thumb across his hands, feeling myself relax as I comforted him, “I don’t know what the future will bring, but….” I paused, laughing breathlessly at both myself and him, “ I think we can figure it out. Together.”

A wobbly smile made its way across his face at my words, and he let out a relieved, wheezy laugh, “So you weren’t saying you were going to leave?”

I shook my head, smiling down at the young man in front of me, wondering how I could have felt so alone when he was right here with me, “No.” 

I leaned forward, letting him wrap his arms around me in a tight hug filled with his relief as I hugged him in response.

It was true, though; I didn’t know what the future held, but with him I could figure it out.

[bomberqueen17]

how it's going

yah well so. my winter of not being at the farm and instead having medical appointments is going about how you'd think, which is to say that i've run out of steam on making the medical appointments but do still have several to take care of.

i did manage to get my primary care physician to accept that i had an ADHD diagnosis (which last year she refused to help me get, but now that i have it, she's like ok cool great here's a referral for therapy). She's now prescribed me meds, and since I already tried the three major stimulant meds plus had prior (bad) experience with the one antidepressant they use, she prescribed me some weird anti-narcolepsy med that sometimes gets used. and i was supposed to start that two days ago but rite aid is still trying to get insurance approval. take a wild guess what kind of insurance i have!!

yeah united health isn't going to approve that one. so my avenues here might already be closed. but at least someone tried?

I have done a bit of sewing and a bit of exercise biking and a lot of snow shoveling (what a year). I got a mammogram and they called me right away and were like omg you gotta come back there was something weird there, and so i went back and they were like omg we gotta squash you SO flat to look at this, and i was like ow ow ow okay okay uncle and they were like yah we gotta ultrasound you this isn't good and i was like. if they have to cut my boobs off can i get robot ones???? (insert every emoji here in succession, the nine or whatever stages of grief is not enough to cover this)

and the ultrasound tech was like SO nice? and so gentle? and by then i'd been lotionless so long (you can't have lotion on your boobs before a mammogram! my dudes it is january i am a crocodile) that the water-based gel kind of stung? but it was okay and she made me wait and went and looked at the results with a doctor and came and took me aside and was like "Great news! It's nothing" and sent me home. which was like. so many ups and downs! what a wild ride! love this ending for me, this is actually the best possible ending ever.

Spent the entire next day in a vet waiting room because Chita had been peeing all over the basement. Verdict: not a UTI. But, she's got to start special kidney food. Have now spent an entire week trying to get the vet to give us the prescription we need in order to buy the stuff, somehow can't get this done, really don't know what the hell is happening.

So anyway now we just have puppy pads down in various corners of the basement, because Chita has Opinions about litterboxes that cannot be solved by simply having an array (five) of immaculate (Cat Attract(TM) litter-containing) boxes, because you see, she needs to pee NEXT TO a litter box according to some strange schedule, AS WELL AS in only SOME of them, and poo in others... Well at least it's all in the basement and she has not done this in any of the rooms where we actually live. But like. Gross dude.

In June Chita will be legally old enough to vote, though cats are not eligible to register alas, so I suppose we can just let her do what she wants since she probably knows best at this point.

Otherwise the only notable thing happening is the writing, at which i am making tremendous progress, so that's good. Therapist has been attempting to get me to form priorities and make to-do lists which is hilarious and I don't know how to convey to her that I am a feral goblin and Goals are not a thing I've ever historically managed to have, and I don't think she understands about novel-writing in particular (she was like oh you're making getting published a goal! and i'm like you don't understand how this industry works, this is a self-pub at best kind of economy and i will not be making money from this). But I am trying very hard to get a draft of this done as soon as I possibly can because I simply won't have time over the spring/summer/fall season, but I *might* have time to edit.

I've got eight chapters in the beta doc by now and having people read it and leave comments is absolutely working to keep me focused on it. <3 I can't convey enough how much that means. It is incredibly helpful. I never did make a discord or any way to discuss that so it's all gotta be in the comments but that is working for me for now. I have most of the plot hammered out and just have to like. Glue it together. So we shall see.

Except I keep letting myself get distracted doing backstory stuff so yesterday I wrote 2,999 words of literally just porn that is not in any way going to go into this novel, and i felt kind of bad about that but then I also wrote 3,914 words of action plot and cyborg dolphins (and mostly it is a guy passed over for a promotion trying to work around the incompetent they made into his manager, so like, relatable content but also with dolphins who can talk, so like, what's not to love) so I felt less bad about that.

I will include a snippet because I can.

A moment later, Mahina’s synthetic voice said “We did not find your convoy but other pod says ships that way.”  Tom nodded. “Yeah, I thought it might be too far,” he said.  “You know our range?” Mahina asked. Her vocabulary was very practical, but then, this was a major shipping lane. From the slightly greater height of the launch, he could see her better; she was large, an older female. The augmented dolphins lived longer, but she wouldn’t be old enough to remember before the treaties, he thought.  “I think so,” Tom said. “Mahina not so good at human number reckoning,” she said. “But if Ted know a pod’s range Mahina no need to try.” “Ted?” Tom said, startled into a laugh. “Is human name,” Mahina said. “It is,” Tom agreed. “Yes, I can be Ted.” “Ted,” Mahina said, with a decided affirmative whistle. The only way to add words to the brainwave-readers was for a fairly skilled human technician to do so, and one of them must at some point have been named Ted.

[eddieswritinghell]

I have a request!!

Can you do headcanons and/or a short blurb for König, Soap, and Price with a fem!s/o who constantly gets hate and bullied online for no reason? She hasn’t done anything wrong she just likes to post things that she made and is proud of, like photography, art, edits, etc. They see her reading comments and trying not to cry, how would they be in the moment?

It’s totally fine if you don’t want to or if you need time there’s no rush!<3

Added a read more because I got super into this and the post is very long. Hopefully, this is good to read, definitely had fun writing it! 💚

König:

"What is wrong, mein Schatz?" The man seemed greatly concerned upon finding you with tears in your eyes while looking at your phone.

"Just some... mean comments. Nothing bad." Your hand reaches up to wipe at your eyes but König stops you. He settles down next to you and the pad of his thumb gently caresses your cheek.

"Nothing bad? Anything mean towards you is automatically considered bad. What is it about?" His brows furrow in concern as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear to better hold your face in his hand.

"Just some bad reactions to a photo I posted. It wasn't the best photo, but I was proud of it and I think that's why it hurts a bit more."

"Oh nein, nein, nein. Nothing could ever be bad if it came from you. Creativity should not be judged and ridiculed, no matter the person. And it definitely shouldn't be yours either." He holds out his hand and makes a grabby motion. "Give me your phone. I will get rid of all the comments so you won't have to look at them and I will replace them with my own."

"You don't have to do that. I just need to get over it."

"I am still going to do it. Gib mir jetzt das Handy." He makes the hand motion and you hand over the phone. The man seems a bit upset about some of the comments, but he happily deletes them as he pulls you closer to him with his free arm. "This happens again and you come to me, ja?"

Soap:

"What has you all worked up?" He raises an eyebrow as he sits down on the couch next to you. You gladly lean into the arm Soap wraps around your shoulders.

"It's nothing really. Just... need to get over myself." You sniffle and move to tuck your phone away but he's much quicker. Soap snags it out of your grip as you exclaim at him to give it back.

"Nah. Nope. Not giving it back till I know what has you all worked up. Can't stand to see you upset like this, lassie. You being sad makes me sad, and that's a crime against nature."

You fight back a sniffle as you watch him scroll through the post you had open of a picture of a painting you and posted because you were rather proud of it. "You don't need to worry about it."

"Oh, I absolutely need to worry about it because it's my right to worry over my girlfriend." He begins to scroll through the comment section and his smile drops. "Is it the painting you posted? The comments from the asses?"

Your silence is greeted with a grunt and a few pings from your phone of Soap deleting the comments. You sniffle and press your face into his shoulder.

"Boom. All gone. I'd have a go with them if I could. Smash all their faces in. Your painting was absolutely stunning. Right bonnie like the artist who painted it."

Price:

Price wasn't sure what had you crossing you phone on the nightstand with a huff, had you crossing your arms and deeply sighing with a shaky breath of air. He wasn't as attached to the device like you were, didn't quite understand the importance of it other than for communication. "Did your phone die?"

"No. Still at sixty percent, just... upset over something."

Price hums in acknowledgement as he removes his shoes before sitting on the bed next to you. Rolling to face you, a hand rests on your hip and rubs soft circles into the sliver of skin that showed. "Care to share with the class?"

"It's... I made a post about this edit I made. It was the first edit I made in quite some time. It wasn't the greatest edit ever, not viral-worthy either, but I was proud of it."

"An edit?"

"Like... a series of clips of a TV show or movie or video game set to music. It's... I can't explain it well, but that isn't what mattered."

"Well, regardless of what it was, in sure it was great. You're a creative person, and if it made you proud then it made you proud. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if you enjoyed it and had fun with it, then that's what truly matters. I'm sure people liked it, but comments usually come from people who are jealous of your abilities. Don't let them get to you, love." He smiles and pulls you closer to press a heavy kiss to your neck. "And certainly don't let them have the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. I'll fight off every one of those... haters? Whatever they're called, they don't deserve to know you."

[killerzys]

Should probably post this on my venting account..oh well

[DO NOT ATTACK ANYONE THAT WAS MENTIONED]

Tw mentioning of cutting, say kill yourself, and F1zzyst4r

Please don't center me around this drama I'm not the one who needs the support Wenni is they have been a victim of F1zzyst4r for a year now I just want to simply explain.. how this has affected me.. but please show some support to Wenni and not me

More in the undercut

So there has been a lot on my mind been gone a few days so it feels a little bit more clearer

I do not want to meet the situation about me since I'm not the one who's being harassed Wenni has and I don't want to make the situation about me even though I am also being affected by it. Just not the way Wenni has been, that's why I have been scared to talk about how I'm feeling about Skittles.. and everything but uhh just because I don't want to make it about me I'm not the let's say main victim.. yes I have been harassed I don't know if was one of skittle's friends that told me this in my ask box but someone recently told me to kill myself and it threw me off

And for a while I felt forced to be friends with him (Skittles) I texted him before I blocked him that hey I felt forced to be your friend and it's making me uncomfortable.. I didn't say this part but the tracing also made me uncomfortable.. especially when it was clear that you copied someone else's design and is tracing someone else's art without credit or say oh yeah I make expired by this person inspiration, and now don't come attack me and say oh there's a few times that you didn't credit someone but as soon as someone say hey by the way maybe credit the person that gives you inspiration you @ them and I have I go back and edit pic or post and @ the person there is just sometimes where I get so excited that I forget but Skittles even after being called out and you're saying hey dude by the way maybe just give credit to the person that you take inspiration from Skittles is like erm actually they're tracing me!!

That's my point of view of how I see it and those other parts but I don't want to make this really long and boring to read

But I just mainly wanted to say how I've been infected by everything, after becoming friends with Skittles I thought they were kind and sweet they were to me but that's before I knew the full drama I did follow wenni on Pinterest for a while and seen little glimpse here and there last time I seen before I became friends with Skittles is that Wenni and Skittles were on good terms.. so I thought it was all right to be his friend, this whole friendship started because I made my old reference sheet of nighty, based off of on of wenni's old ref.. Skittles was like hey by the way maybe not copy me and I simply told them that I took inspiration from someone else that I didn't even know they were on the board, we became friends on Tumblr and talked, then I started getting targeted not targeted that's not the right word to say involved in drama that simply I was just watching from behind.. never had any attention to get involved with any of the drama but with my luck I somehow got into it because I was friends with Skittles.. I'm no longer friends with him and I feel free I feel safer now but I keep seeing the excuse of like his friends in my inbox "he made art for you and everything, he thought you guys were friends" just because you simply made art for me doesn't really mean anything I'm sorry? Like I make art for a lot of people doesn't mean I'm their friend I just think whatever OC or design I did was really neat and I wanted to draw it myself.. in the friend part I did see each other as friends but we never really communicated like we were friends.. we would talk to each other about the drama and I remember at some point I said whoever is tracing needs to own up to it now so this drama could be over and no one can get hurt or go through more mental health problems... But it seems that he didn't take that advice but oh well but other than talking about the drama and stuff we vented it to each other, there were a few funny moments but it's wasn't really friends? It was like that one buddy you see crossing the hall and you talk for a minute before going back to your class and then you don't see them for the rest of the year that's how it felt and before everything that happened I will admit I had a tad of a crush on Skittles but over time it started affecting me not in the greatest way... And I just lost all feelings when I got with my partner... And then at some point he would call me dear or something ? And sweetheart saying I'm sorry I think someone hacked my account acting all flirty with me which made me uncomfortable...

But besides that uhh he has now decided to text my mutuals or get his friends to do it I believe he's doing it because they are all anonymous and him or he got his friend to send something one of my mutuals inbox say hi by the way uhh river faked being friends with Skittles like a few times something something quite frankly I don't think you should be mutuals with them no more

Ok ok Skittles I see I see going to my mutuals telling them, that they should stop being friends with me because I stopped being friends with you because you're traced someone's art and copied many people's designs and when I tell you that I felt forced to be your friend and felt so uncomfortable and I unfollowed you which is a valid reason saying that I was uncomfortable and blocking you you're going to resort to going to my mutuals and basically harass them saying you should stop being friends with River, river is a bad friend you shouldn't be friends with them

Okay buddy like what? I've been trying to stay serious but the more I text this sentence the more I'm getting mad and the more I'm realizing the red flags that I should have realized from before... Honestly Skittles I hope you get help I hope you get therapy or something I'm not going to wish upon your death because honestly that's against what I believe which is nothing but like I don't believe in telling people they should kill themselves just because of certain actions I feel like they should get help now let's say if you were a pedophile now I would say kill yourself but does drama could have been resolved a long time ago if you just figured out your own art style who you are and stop copying someone to the point of copying that Wenni saying you have anger issues and trust issues ?

Wet Skittles I do wish that you get some therapy help mental help hell go to a mental asylum I don't care get help...

Now onto more stuff that like other things I've been thinking about

So basically going to my friends and harassing them

Having people go in my inbox harassing me saying like why did you stop being friends with Skittle kill yourself

It feels like you're using the fact that I used to have a crush on you against me and saying that we were friends because sometimes we made art for each other?

That's really it? Uh yeah I don't know this entire situation has just had me stressed about everything.. to the point where I'm having a hard time even drawing.. communicating with people talking and everything...it's really unbearable.. a few days ago I lost my streak .. because of this. The stress got so much that I took it out on myself I was almost 2-3 month clean..

[lesbianherald]

hi bee! i was wondering from one writer to another, at what point during the writing/drafting process of a long fic do you start posting it? i always like to stay ahead in my drafts by a good amount to keep things consistent but i never really know if there's a Secret Sweet Spot or something. do you tend to write a fic the entire/most of the way through before posting chapters or is there a specific point where you decide it's time to release it onto the world?

i actually post as I go - which has its benefits and its downfalls.

i mostly do it because i am deeply impatient and love to yap sdflkhjs

on one hand, it's really nice to get so much time to focus on and currate individual chapters. on the other hand, if I had an entire thing finished i'd be able to edit it more "professionally" and do more work considering the story as a whole.

but because fic is just for fun, I tend to just release chapters when I can. also the not being able to go back and change the story thing can actually really help you focus on how to make things work as they are.

the fact that i can see feedback and people's theories without having finished is kind of a double-edged sword. on one hand, I can tailor things with a little more precision but then on the other it might influence me too much.

coming home was a little different. i don't know if Ive talked about this but I originally was just going to write it for me and not post it anywhere at all. so the first four ? five? chapters were finished when I started posting.

Sorry if anything i've literally just laid out the benefits and downsides to both DKFL

[meamiki]

Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D

(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)

(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)

[mattodore]

now that the edit is done i will not be thinking abt it ever again. here’s a screenshot i took to test new world lighting. theo joy 💓

[creaturefeaster]

Hi... Great job on colorquest but... Im having trouble keeping up with the formatting... I haven't really been able to read it... But maybe that's just my dyslexic ass.

Hi-- thank you, first off!

But hmm, I wonder how this could be mitigated. Would alternating colors per line help alleviate dyslexia?

If you (or anyone else who is dyslexic) have any suggestions on how I could improve the dialogue layout, I'd like to hear them.

I'd like my story to be as accessible as possible.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent images I suppose ~

[cathymee]

maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.

[high-theyre-frendough]

A while ago, I had a tag called household drama and/or vent and some recent comments from @star-weed-rebels reminded me of said drama. I figured that I might as well give a comprehensive summary of events written while sober and not during moments where it could only end up being an incoherent vent.

I originally kept the names of everyone to miscellaneous terms/insults/whatever as a way to protect identities, so I will reuse those older terms that I used to keep things consistent (though idk if I would use the same terms now).

Max - My ex-girlfriend whom I broke up with in I think July of 2023

Bitch - Ex girlfriend of both myself and my current boyfriend (she was with him for 7 years before he met me)

Daddy - My current boyfriend

Dumbass - The now ex-girlfriend of Bitch

Chef - I can't find a lot of posts talking about her but I think that I was originally calling her this? Which is odd because she is honestly really really really really bad at cooking. She was a former "Friends with benefits" with Daddy and myself. Daddy had known her since they were both young teenagers (online) but only met in person in 2021 when she moved in with him cause the house needed a roommate cause rent.

For reference - Most of the drama has died down. These are not super recent events. I've been a lot more stable these days. This is simply a description of past events that I did not explain very well at the time. Unlike most of what I post on this page, I am writing this while sober.

Line break because this is going to be long. Timeline of events might be slightly off but should be in roughly chronological order.

In 2023, I was dating a trans woman who was at the time going by the name of Max. She was extremely abusive. At the time, I felt like I deserved it. For a lot of my life, I have been very depressed/suicidal/etc. I felt like being in a relationship with her was a greater punishment than death that I somehow deserved. She treated me like shit.

For a while, I had been debating whether or not I was polyamorous. This is not something that I was really able to explore while I was in that relationship, as Max was very controlling. She herself would constantly cheat on me or seek out other partners, but would throw a massive fit and scream at me and tell me how awful I was if I so much thought about the idea of finding another partner.

There was a point during 2022 (I can't remember when exactly) when Max was in rehab for a month. During that time, i ended up having someone over at our apartment to hang out with. I found him off of Grindr, because at the time Max and I were trying to find friends or whatever off of dating apps (Neither of us were any good at finding friends in general and turned to those apps).

That guy came over to the apartment for a bit. We hung out and watched anime or whatever. Max constantly accused me of cheating on her with that man. I did not. She was constantly accusing me of cheating on her when she would hook up with anyone and everyone that she felt like it.

The last straw was in early 2023 when she found that exact guy I had hung out with that time, invited him over to the apartment (while I was asleep) and fucked him while I was sleeping. I ended up insisting that at that point that I should be allowed to pursue additional relationships.

There had been points where we had both tried to have 3 way relationships (both romantically and sexually) but the problem is that any time I would start liking the person, Max would end up yelling at me and sabotaging it in some way. I'm not not giving a whole lot of detail on this topic because this ex is pretty irrelevant (though every few months she continues to try to contact me, despite me constantly blocking and ignoring her).

Anyway, I eventually went on an app called Taimi or however you spell it, and I found Bitch. Bitch (at the time) was in a relationship with Daddy but was searching for additional partners on dating apps. I did not realize at the time, but it was honestly kind of similar to my relationship with Max.

Bitch was extremely controlling of Daddy (constantly going through his phone, accusing him of wanting to cheat on her with basically anyone who he so much as made eye contact with, etc). She was dating, fucking, hooking up with, etc with literally whoever she wanted, but if he was polite to the cashier at the grocery store; she would spend the next 4 days screaming and accusing him of trying to cheat on her.

Anyways, I met up with Bitch (who acted like a sane human being for around a month). The lease on the apartment that I shared with Max was almost up, and Bitch was looking for a new roommate for the house that she lived in, cause one of the roommates was moving out. It was a nice place, and everyone living here (yeah, I still live in this house) seemed nice.

I took the gamble on moving in cause it was a far, far nicer place than my old one and everyone seemed nice. In the end, it did work out, but whenever I think about my past self, I am reminded of how goddamn stupid and naive I was. Anyway.

That old apartment needed to be cleaned out before the lease was up. The only people who helped me cleaned it up was Daddy and my mother. At the time, I was still technically dating Bitch and Max (who was the one who actually lived there at that apartment with me).

Now let me describe this apartment to you. It was the third floor. There was no elevator, only the most awful stairs you have ever seen in your life. They were so steep and garbage with a wobbly railing. The apartment was a studio apartment with a large closet, a tiny bathroom, and a tiny kitchen.

There was also a cockroach infestation. Max and I didn't realize until after a month after we had been living there because we didn't use the stove much when we first moved in. There was a massive nest of cockroaches living in the stove. By then, it was too late.

If you don't know anything about German cockroaches, they run away when the lights are on or when there is daylight. There were so many cockroaches that they had nowhere to run. They were all over the walls, the ceiling, the floors, inside everything, everywhere. It was really fucking bad.

Daddy and my mother (My actual mother ugh why did I originally choose to call him that. whatever) helped me pick through everything that was in that nasty apartment for anything I could actually wash/keep. The whole place smelled like weed and cat piss. It was so bad.

Basically everything ended up on the sidewalk. I lived in a capital city, so everything was quickly stolen or picked apart by homeless people. I pity whoever stole any of those flat screen tvs because those were packed full of cockroaches - just like everything else. Furniture, clothes, everything. It was all garbage and nasty and horrible. I am still to this day trying to replace belongings.

It was hot, too. It was so hot and sweaty and nasty with roaches everywhere. Max had a habit of throwing food around the apartment, so there was random rotting food as well. We were on the top floor, right? She had put random raw meat on the roof/awning thing that was under the window but above the other apartment. That shit was so fucking nasty.

She also had a habit of vomiting in buckets or other containers while high, so there was also that to clean up. You don't even want to hear about the kitchen. God it smelled so fucking bad.

Oh also, during cleaning all of that, Bitch was constantly calling Daddy every 10-15 minutes accusing him of cheating on her with me. While he was helping me clean up the apartment. She wanted to stay at home and not help, but spent the whole fucking time accusing him of cheating on her with me because he was being nice and helping me out.

When would we have been fucking? In front of my mother? When we were carrying the roach-infested cat trees down to the sidewalk? In between picking through to find the only salvageable belongings? It was horrible.

My mother at some point (I think in 2021 or 2022) bought me a car. I never drove it, so it was basically Max's car. After we had moved in at the new place at some point, Max crashed the car. I had to go to the hospital to get the shards of glass cleaned off. There was glass everywhere. I actually was recording a video at the exact time the car went off the road ironically enough.

Max did all "repairs" on that vehicle herself. Usually while high. Max has little to no knowledge of car repairs. In the long run, it was all her fault. Guess who was the first person in the hospital room? The first person actually fucking concerned about me? Daddy. Fucking Max and Bitch were more concerned about him being concerned than they were about me. They literally did not even care. I tried to convince myself they did, but they didn't. Bitch was all mad that Daddy let me sit in the front seat of the car on the way home and that he bought me Wendy's. You know... after I had just been in a crash that ended with little bits of glass in my ears, eyes, throat, and lungs.

After that, I started to take Bitch's paranoid advice and start fucking around with Daddy. Soon after, I broke up with Max (who faked an asthma attack while being broken up with). She went to go live with her crackhead cousin and go back to smoking crack herself. I'm not entirely sure where she went after that. I don't care, but she keeps messaging me. Most recent time Max messaged me was about a week or 2 ago. We literally broke up in July of 2023. I cannot even begin to count how many accounts that I have blocked on so many different social media.

About a month after Max and I broke up, she had a false "wellness check" made on me. The police showed up at my house because they had been told by Max (I asked them who told them this bullshit and they said her deadname) that I had called her using an app to disguise both my name and my number while drunk and suicidal. That I was cutting myself and threatening to kill myself. No part of that was true, so the cops left.

Since then, Max has attempted to charge my old debit cards and shit (to no success), emailed my mother asking for money, texted my Daddy on his business number (he breeds and sells axolotls) telling him she hopes he dies, messaged me with varying messages on various social media ranging from "I hope you die" to "I'm so sorry I just no realized I was actually abusive."

Anyways after I broke up with Max, and she left, I pretended to be still dating Bitch for a while when I was actually dating her boyfriend, Daddy. The longer I stayed here, the more Daddy and I got along. Eventually, Dumbass moved in because we needed another roommate (god why is rent so expensive).

Dumbass quickly figured it out. She did not keep quite for super long. Bitch tried to kill me numerous times, which is why Daddy and I installed security cameras in the house. The police were unwilling to believe that a woman could ever be violent, because fuck the police. Bitch and Daddy broke up, but it was a struggle to get Bitch out of the house because the police kept treating her like the victim, despite no one harming her.

The problem was that bitch had the ability to go from "I'm gonna fucking kill you. You stupid Dyke lesbian bitch. You're only pretending to be a faggot. You'll never be a man. Everyone knows that you are nothing but a stupid pathetic little delusional bitch. I'm going to strangle you to death and kill you for stealing my boyfriend from me (etc etc etc)" To "Please help officer, I live my life in fear of this terrifying man who makes me so scared because I'm such a scared little woman in fear of this big scary man who hurts me" and she would point to the hickies that her girlfriend (dumbass) gave her and act like she was being abused.

In early October 2023, I called the police, and they were immediately suspicious of me (of course). I showed them the security video that showed me saying "what's really funny is the idea of you getting a job, considering that you've never worked a day in your life" followed by Bitch screaming "I'm gonna fucking kill you" and then putting her hands on my throat. She is on video pulling my hair, screaming about how badly she wants to kill me, while hitting me and putting her hands on my throat, trying to knock me down onto the floor. I did not fight back or do anything other than tell her to get off of me. Dumbass ended up pulling her off of me, and they went to their room, where Bitch cut herself to make it look like a fair fight.

Bitch was taken to the hospital, and brought back after about 3 hours. I had a miscarriage overnight. In the morning, I woke up bleeding. Chef asked me if I had a miscarriage. I confirmed that I had. She then took it upon herself to start faking a pregnancy. This was both to mock me, and also to try and get the attention of Daddy. She was constantly jealous of us, saying that it was not fair that he spent so much time with me, that it was her right to his attention, etc. Daddy ended up confronting her about it when he realized that she was using those fake pregnancy tests that automatically show up as positive when wet. So her attempt to get his attention backfired on her. Oh well.

The morning after she was brought to the hospital, the police showed up to arrest Bitch. She was brought back after about 3 hours. She was charged with 2nd degree harassment. Because trying to strangle someone to death and causing a miscarriage is considered only "harassment" I guess. They put in place a temporary "refrain from" order of protection (which basically means that if she committed any further crimes against me she would be arrested again).

Dumbass and Bitch ended up moving out of their own free will in early November of 2023. They moved in with Max and Max's crackhead cousin. Bitch is a methhead now or something. They broke up with Bitch stabbed Dumbass (apparently she actually went to jail for that one). Dumbass apologized to me for previously going along with Bitch and lying to the cops about me being violent. Dumbass is also now dating another one of Bitch's exs, which I find really fucking funny. Bitch is still harassing them to this day.

Did I mention that Bitch is the kind of person who plucks the wings off moths and laughs as they writhe on the ground? That she has a son (who was not even with Daddy even though he was born when they were together) that she was only allowed to see for 2 (supervised) hours per week and she wouldn't even bother going to see him half the time. During the time I knew here, the 2 supervised hours was knocked down to 1 hour per week. Probably because she wouldn't bother fucking showing up.

Anyways once Bitch and Dumbass and Max were all out of the picture, it was just me and Daddy. Oops no it wasn't. Cause Chef existed.

In mid November of 2023, I went to a reptile expo with Daddy and Chef to sell axolotls. The longer I was around, the more interested I was in the Axolotl business. I noticed that while Chef was supposed to be helping in the business, she really wasn't. She would alternate between not feeding the axolotls for days, and overfeeding them. They kept dying under her care to the point where Daddy was debating just shutting down the business. She neglected her own animals.

Over the time I lived here, I watched her button quails die off. She wouldn't replace their bedding until everyone told her a dozen times to do so. She didn't feed them regularly or give them fresh water. Any aquatics she had died from lack of being fed or having water changes. I caught an ear infection from her cat and ended up having to get antibiotics to treat her. Her bearded dragon, like everything else was pretty much starving. She like do collect animals, and then not fucking feed them. She could make any of her pets experience what it is like to be suicidal with how awful her care of them was.

At that expo, Chef got mad that I got a ball python, and how it wasn't fair that Daddy didn't buy her a gecko that she wanted. I bought that snake myself but she threw a goddamn fit cause he didn't buy her another lizard to neglect. The day after that, I took over taking care of the axolotls. I still have that notebook that I brought downstairs to track all care of the axolotls. Business is thriving and at this point I'm doing more than she ever did.

I ended up pregnant again (which is why I stopped posting on this account for a while cause I mainly only post on here when I'm smoking weed).

In march of 2024, while Daddy and I were out getting his truck inspected, Chef moved out with the help of her friends. She also falsely reported him of raping her (because she was mad that he wasn't having sex with her anymore. She was obsessed with becoming pregnant. She was constantly begging him to have sex with her all the goddamn time. i think she was hoping he was going to date her after breaking up with bitch, but he ended up with me instead. she would literally ask him to get his sperm tested, and made like weekly appointments at the fertility clinic. she was so mad that he ended up getting a trans man pregnant and ignoring her all the time that she falsely accused him of rape out of jealousy. there is evidence to disprove literally everything in every single page of her statements. the case is still ongoing but literally everything she said can be disprove down to the number of fake miscarriages she claims to have because she can't even keep that lie straight.)

[Just an insert here that I forgot to mention, but Chef would grope me constantly. She didn't stop until she was removed from the Axolotl business. She ended up stealing a bunch of axolotls when she moved out, which I had to replace with my own money. There are times where I was having PTSD attacks and would go to Daddy for comfort, and she would grope my ass. She was constantly trying to force us to enact her sexual fantasies and got mad when we wouldn't.]

I don't want to get too into that whole mess, but trust me when I say that that piece of shit has no idea what it is like to be a victim of rape. Her story changes so much it's like she was scrolling through pornhub to find her favorite fetish rather than describe an event that happened. Most of what she claims he did, I've watched her beg him to do, then get angry when he refused. She was constantly begging him to do these roleplays and shit. She was so fucking jealous of my pregnancy. She fucking moved out with the help of her friends who were never around to see how much she lied about literally everything.

Again, if you even think for a second that he could be guilty, trust me that he's not. We have literal security cameras in the house that disprove her bullshit as story. Her story doesn't even make sense as she describes acts that are not physically possible. She claimed she ordered plan b? She ordered it before she claims she was even assaults. Quite literally no part of her goddamn story makes sense, she just did this cause she was mad he didn't love her.

In her story she claimed that she was his boyfriend. That they were dating each other and that he forced her to date him or something? We have so many texts where she was begging him to fuck her??? She would constantly beg him for sex. I don't know what is wrong with her but yeah she is gone now.

Anyways, I gave birth in July 2024. Everything has been good since then pretty much. There is the ongoing legal issue but trial keeps getting delayed. Daddy's lawyer is not worried about it due to how there quite literally is evidence to disprove every single claim made by Chef. Also how everything she has said contradicts other things she said in her own statements.

I've been happy these days, something that I never thought I could really be. I'm in a relationship with someone who loves and cares about me. Who does everything he can to make sure that I'm happy. Who has never done anything to harm me. We have a beautiful son together, and sometimes life is hard but we get through it together. We've both been through a lot of bullshit, but at this point try and avoid other people and avoid drama.

Every so often we get contacted by our exes who are mad that we are together, but whatever. Block them. Block and ignore them. They don't matter.

We're both just autistic idiots trying to mind our own business. Him and his flight simulator. I've been learning to crochet. Did I mention he custom built a shed for me for my cats? Before we were even dating. Because I couldn't have my cats in the house. Its insulated, heated, etc. They have platforms on the walls. He does everything he can to make me happy. He helps me when I'm having PTSD attacks.

We run the axolotl business together. We spend our time together. I love him. I never thought I could be with someone who actually cared about me, but I finally am.

I can finally be at peace, so long as I am with him.

Oh yeah, he finally openly admits that he's bisexual now and not straight :3

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[galahadenough]

This is a scene from one of the best things I’ve ever read, book or fanfic, Blind, But Now by aperplexingpuzzle on ao3 (currently @ghirahimbo here)! I cannot recommend this story enough!

If a legend is a regal and intricately woven tapestry, hung on a distant wall, then BBN is that tapestry up close. It takes the legend and lets you see the threads, lets you feel the texture. Every knot, every spot worn smooth over time. The story sees both the original image and the pieces that make up the image. It looks at how the journey weathered the tapestry, looking at the broken threads, the frayed and discolored spots, and sees an image made all the more beautiful because it doesn’t just tell the story of the legend but the story of the tapestry.

This scene really gave me such a deep, almost physical feeling of the heat and immensity of the region. It stays with me and is one of the first scenes that comes to mind when I think about the story. I was hoping to catch a little of that, plus the overall feeling of their encounter, that edge of potential. Potential danger and potential.. something else.

[keeps-ache]

!! Freak Shock !!

[danxiously]

just escaped from cryosleep (autistic burnout) and im seeking creative fuel (your ocs/drawing requests)

[setaflow]

Happy 10 years of letting this team publicly ruin my life.