#though this not a novel i have read yet
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
A few promo shots of Paul McGann as Eugene Wrayburn, from Our Mutual Friend (1998) that I have stumbled across...
#mcgann and dickens is a must have for me haha#though this not a novel i have read yet#nor have seen#but it has paul soooo#why not#that fake mustache though#XD#paul mcgann#our mutual friend#mcgann monday
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way#god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please#im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs#i love them all#i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons'#and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that'#and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually#but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc#and i was just like#'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?'#i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy#but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad#also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man#'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ#please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3#svsss#mxtx svsss#luo binghe#bingqiu#tgcf#heavens official blessing#mxtx tgcf#mxtx novels#mxtx characters#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#shen qingqiu#the scum villain's self saving system
213 notes
·
View notes
Text
I CAN POST THIS NOW THAT IVE FINISHED THE GAME!!!!!
chat lookouts was SO GOOD i HIGHLY RECOMMEND
its about two trans gay outlaw furries i do not know what more you could want
#if i had the time and skill i would make a lookouts animation with something from the are we there yet album#anyways now i CANNOT STOP ACCIDENTALLY TALKING IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT THANKS TO THIS GAME. I SWEAR TO GOD.#but honestly it was worth it#i got to read robin's lines < 333 beloved#some of them might have gotten a wee bit too real for my liking but we stay silly#seriously though PLEASE PLAY IT#ITS SO GOOD AND THE ART IS SO PRETTY#art#drawing#digital art#lookouts#lookouts vn#visual novel#furry visual novel#lookouts visual novel#furry#sfw furry#sfw furry art#fanart#Spotify#my art
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
How many wives did Luo Bingge have?
I see quite a lot of debate over this within the fandom, and this excerpt has been passed around quite a bit:
But I felt like I remembered Bingge being mentioned as having more wives within the text, so I decided to skim the books (CTRL + F on the Internet Archive PDFs worked wonders) to find as many references to Bingge's wife count as I could.
I was right that he was mentioned as having more wives (hundreds to be exact), on the back of the very first book in the series even. However, the backs of books are the domain of the publisher rather than the author, so this isn't really trustworthy info to go off of for canon purposes. Still, it made me curious to see if more wives were mentioned somewhere else within the series.
He is mentioned as theoretically marrying at least 100 women at once here, however this was purely speculation on what would have happened in Proud Immortal Demon Way if Luo Binghe truly aspired for marriage. He did marry many women in PIDW, however it's never made clear whether these marriages were out of love or were political (and for horny reasons, the stallion protagonist can never escape his libido).
613 is also mentioned as a number of wives, and seems oddly specific unless there's some Chinese number symbolism I'm missing here, however this is just an example of something that Madame Meiyin could predict with her fortune telling abilities. Her fortunes are mentioned to typically be about romance, so this could be Shen Qingqiu remembering an actual prediction she made in canon, however even if that were the case (which there doesn't seem to be evidence to support) it could simply be that Luo Binghe never got those wives within the novel, and was just implied to get them afterwards (cue Peerless Cucumber rant about Airplane's lazy writing).
There's mentioned to be dozens of women "barely glimpsed" within the harem, presumably in addition to wives like Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan who were more significant, but that still doesn't give us an exact count. If the initial harem count is accurate, it does imply that most of the women within it were just written to fluff the numbers a bit.
Bingge is mentioned to have "never refused" any requests to join his harem. RIP Bingge's understanding of boundaries, but, again, we have no clue how many women even asked to join. Demon Emperors are powerful, but also scary, and Shen Qingqiu is... perhaps an unreliable narrator when it comes to any version of Luo Binghe's appeal factor.
Bingge is mentioned multiple times to have had sex with hundreds of women, however, not all of the bedded were wedded. Madame Meiyin, for example, is mentioned as someone that Bingge slept with but never married, and there's no evidence that i could find that she was the sole exception in a sea of wives.
In conclusion, while manwhore Bingge is real, his count of actual wives is more than likely less than 100, as originally specified. (Though I wouldn't blame you if you thought otherwise, the emphasis on the harem size being "innumerable" and "uncountable" in the narration is quite a lot, and historically many Chinese emperors had a larger harem than Bingge.)
At least, he had less than 100 wives in the novel. In the donghua, on the other hand...
Well. That's a fairly definite amount.
#if/when i fully reread the novels i may start taking notes on this kind of thing tbh.#like how long shen yuan had been reading PIDW for pre-transmigration#(i think he's mentioned as both being a veteran reader and as having binge-read it. pick a struggle cucumber-bro)#no clue where the whole deal of sqq and sqh referring to the wives by number in fanfiction came from#i couldn't find any reference to it within the books. though perhaps i just wasn't looking hard enough#sorry if this post seems like clickbait lol but i just felt like going on a little journey here#i haven't even watched the donghua properly yet (putting on the first 3 episodes at 2x speed muted as a bit during movie night doesnt count#svsss#luo bingge#scum villain's self saving system#long post#<- i mean it's under a read more but just in case
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
we’re really in it now chizuchan…
#5 days and a few hours to go till ch6…#aaaaaaaaaaaaa im not ready for it#though. i gotta say that this week wasnt great (understatement)#for more reasons than one too… sigh.#so anyways ive started to read webnovels at work when no one’s around and my results are all reported#the stories are way too good (despite the pay 2 read thing on the app and the occasional tl mishaps)#i finished reading this completed novel early on in the week and it was. sublime. the characters are all so stupid and yet#they all bounce off each other so nicely. and they have reasons for their acts (no matter how horrible) that just.#gives them an extra layer of depth. and the way the story leans into the absurdity of some situations#while also swerving away from expectations at other times is just. brilliant.#but aaaaaaa i wish we had more time to see the ‘og protag’’s pov… he was so funny and for what#it would’ve been nice if the side stories had done things a little differently but it was a fun ride…#though i like how it’s one of those novels where reading the manhwa adaptation alongside#can make some certain events seem more unexpected than they actually are. and the art’s impeccable to boot… man…#and. just. the story’s good at making certain revelations cause certain scenes to hit harder in hindsight…#and how they don’t try to redeem the unredeemable. it’s refreshingly straightforward.#buuuuuuuuut i digress. anyways. um. see y’all next friday for chizuchan chapter 6. or thursday if there’s a random announcement or sth
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what would be funny? A BSD and TGCF crossover where Soukoku meet FengQing. It can be years later in TGCF timeline(for obvious reasons) or it can be either pair ends up in the other's universe (not gonna lie it would hilarious to see soukoku in TGCF canon timeline), I doest matter just as long as those two pairs meet.
#tgcf#bsd#soukoku#fengqing#i just recently joined the tgcf fandom(have not yet read the novels unfortunately) and i was like they kinda give soukoku vibes(fengqing)#if soukoku didn't read each other so well that communication is barely needed(they do need to talk though) thats is
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
book reader i have a copy of dream of the red chamber (volume 1) that ive been trying to get through for over a year how do i motivate myself to finish it
I'm recently coming out of a half a year ish period of not reading very much so trust me when I say the lack of motivation comes for us all. I think I have some tips for how to motivate reading in general+ some for DOTRC specifically :)
(Real quick, I assume because you mentioned a volume 1 you're talking about the Hawkes-David translation published by Penguin in five volumes under the name 'The Story of The Stone'. This is the translation I read through, and it's the one I see recommended most to english speakers looking for an enjoyable reading experience, so to any other prospective readers of this novel I HIGHLY recommend reading this translation as opposed to any other ones. I don't know if I need to say this or if it's well-known to seek out that version, but because Hong Lu's canto is coming up I want to make sure anyone interested in reading through the source material can have the best experience possible with it👍)
It's important to remember that reading is a hobby, and the best way to keep going with it is to make it a habit. Unfortunately, this means forcing yourself to read sometimes, but it comes easier the more you do it. The trick is: it doesn't have to be a lot of reading.
The hard part for me is really just picking up the book and starting to read. Normally with books I like to set a goal of a chapter or so per day, but because this book has longer chapters that wasn't always feasible for me, especially if I had stuff to do. But once I had the book in my hands and started reading I would usually go above my goal I had set :)
Last year a lot of my DOTRC reading was done while I was waiting in line for things, getting/eating food, waiting on the bus, or killing time between classes/during boring lectures (I don't know if I'd advise that last one). This is moreso once you get in the rhythm of things, though.
Another tip is sometimes the format is the thing to stop me. I don't know if you're reading from a physical book or an ipad/kindle/etc or a computer or what, but sometimes I read better on my laptop than other things because it's Always Around. Sometimes I don't feel like grabbing a book or I don't have it with me, but my laptop's already open and I'm bored so maybe I'll do a little bit of reading instead of scrolling social medias. Lately, i've been jumping between my laptop and kindle for reading (laptop for convenience, kindle for portability and reading before bed at night) but I've gone between physical books and digital devices before. (If you want the epub versions of dotrc, I'd be willing to share them as well. The only difficulty is page numbers change between reading formats so I can only really switch at the start of chapters or if I skim to where I last was.
Something that saved me while reading DOTRC specifically (as well as other sinner books) was having a place I could discuss/"liveblog" the book. These books can get LONG and the reading experience varies from "really interesting and compelling" to "oh my godddd I do not need 20 pages of Outdated Whale Facts right now". (no offense to Moby Dick. I'm only slandering that one because I read the whole thing and in spite of enjoying it I understand why there are SO many abridged versions around.) It's kind of just the classic lit experience to deal with these types of things, but it's a lot more tolerable to me if you can talk to other people about it.
When I read DOTRC I didn't have anyone else reading with me, but just having a place to tell people about all the things that happen in this book helped me to keep track of events and characters. It also motivated me to keep reading so I could tell The People what happened next. Having someone else read with me would probably have helped as well, but it's hard to sell people on reading a 5-volume behemoth of a novel with so much stuff in it it has it's own field of study dedicated to it.
You can really yap anywhere. I have a channel in my Limbus Discord dedicated to the books so I don't drive everyone insane with my rambling and it seems to have helped some of my friends get through some of the other books as well so I think this method is a pretty solid success? You could also pretty easily do it just in someone's DMs if they're already familiar with the book (this has the bonus of them potentially being able to clarify things for you and help you get a deeper understanding of the book) or even yapping on a tumblr sideblog or empty notes doc or something.
So TL;DR:
Picking up the book is the hardest part. Reading a little is better than not reading at all.
Subjecting your friends to this book will make it easier to keep going :)
Also: for Dream of the Red Chamber specifically: the book starts slow. I don't know how far in you are, but so many people drop it early. I started reading it during a 12-ish hour car ride and that might've been the play because i can see people getting bored during the first few chapters. It definitely picks up though, so trust me when I say it gets a lot easier to read as you keep going. Chapter 5 is an incredibly interesting chapter, and from there I find things pick up and start going faster. (It helps that chapter 5 is pretty relevant for the direction I think Limbus is going to take canto 8 in!) The later volumes were able to go by a lot faster for me than the earlier ones as well.
This is a long ass book, but it's gonna be a while before Hong Lu's canto drops and we get to Witness that Surrender. Or Surrender that Witness. I'm not actually sure. But regardless, you've got plenty of time to get through it, even if you're a slower reader or don't have much time to dedicate to reading. Steady progress is the name of the game for stuff like this.
Worst case, you've killed a bunch of time during the wait for Hong Lu's canto (because oh boy, I have a feeling this one's gonna be a wait) and you are able to gain a better appreciation for canto 8 by understanding some of the nicher bits of how it adapts stuff from the source.
Best case, you really enjoy reading it and end up like a bunch of the Hong Lu fans I know who were permanently changed by reading this book and started reading scholarly analysis of it for fun (or start seeking out every adaptation of it you can find, or read the book 5 times over... I am coming to realize this book does something to people.)
This book is legitimately incredibly good, even outside the context of me reading it because I was very invested in that beautiful cyan freak from a game I like. I might not have been able to get through it without Limbus providing me the push to keep going on days where I really didn't want to read, but it's a legitimate interest of mine now I will seek out information on regardless of its connection to Limbus! Trust me when I say it's worth getting through even if it feels hard or tedious.
(and if it helps- a solid amount of the stuff I feel is most likely to be Limbus relevant happens near the end of the book. There's so much in this book so things that could be relevant are scattered throughout almost all of it, but I've been picking up so many end of the book vibes from stuff we've seen lately. so you've got to get there!!)
#pachiposting#asks#citysootyowl#i don't know how to tag this one actually?#because it's not really about limbus#it is important though. i did like writing this answer :)#even if i have. checks notes. Several finals projects I have to work on#Shilling 18th century chinese classic novels is more important.#thank you for the ask. i yapped more than I thought#but like. i kinda just do that here every time i go to answer an ask#i have an old one from before c7 part 3 i still havent gotten around to yet just because the gears were not turning at the correct rate#i promise if thats you ive seen it. i have some stuff typed#i dont know when you'll see it though. i have a lot going on and half my brainpower right now is dedicated to spinning a png of hong lu#anyway byebyeee i hope this can help you!!#this book seems hard to get through but the style isn't hard to read because the translation's relatively recent#and it's long but a lot of the time I find it goes quick because interesting things are usually happening#you've got plany of time! its moreso abt building a habit than anything else
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
ARCANE S2 SPOILERS
btw 🤗🤗🤗 to me being right about jayce using the hexcore to save or "save" viktor after being deadly (or apparently *dead* I think) injured after the attack against the council and it leading to jayvik divorce 🤗🤗🤗 happy birthday to me 🥳🥂
#lmao to me and celebrating divorces lately hahh 🥂 to loustat and loumand out there#I mean. not that it was that much of a shocker. it was def one of those big likely story line options#jayce managing to break 2 of his promises to viktor before he even wakes up rip#oh I just have a LOT of thought about... everything here really. the parallels and everything.#there's something specific felt here in the disabled sense though. esp w the progressive fatality aspect (personally the latter's not me)#“I never asked for this!” neither did he <3<3<3 no but 1 disability thing here. I was thinking abt ppl overriding your wishes & your consen#also just- lowkey funny his name is *viktor* & then here's jayce frankensteining his viktor#I admit I've yet to read frankenstein. But I've got the novel in my shelf. got cool illustrations too#so far I don't feel the worst about their little plotline here. but I feel like I'm gonna feel curious about it as we progress depending on#how it's handled#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#my rambles#arcane
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I woke up this morning from the weirdest this-fandom related dream ever. So, in my dream, Vash and Wolfwood were sitting by a campfire and griddle talking about weird meats. They had some weird meats with them, as in meats from different animals that they were planning on cooking and eating. Vash drew out a plastic wrapped package (vacuum pack, looked like my local store brand) that looked like a pork chop, but declared that it was, in fact, human meat. He'd gotten it from a little post-apocalyptic Noman's Land shop that specialised in such things. He said that, as a Plant, he wanted to try it to see if he was compatible for eating human. Dream!Vash? What the actual FUCK?!!! And so unwrapped it and put it on the griddle and creeped out Wolfwood, but Wolfwood understood. Something like that. And then I flashed back into my body. This entire scenario was one that I was writing as a fanfic on a public counter in some kind of cafeteria at an anime convention. Above it, appearing almost immediately, was a fancomic someone else did on the upright part of the counter that recounted the events of my fanfiction (a fancomic of my fanfiction) except that whoever did it made it more Vashwood than I had intended my story, ending it with Vash and Wolfwood kissing. At the same time, I was thinking "My fanfic doesn't deserve this, it's not that good. It's not like Sin Eaters by dragonofeternal, which has a similar theme done much better." Yes, I was literally thinking of a real fic I'd read in my dream! I commented aloud on the comic that "This is more Vashwood than I'd intended, but I'll take it." As in, it's not really my ship, no one that I see as canon, but I like people in fandom shipping whatever they like and I enjoy Vashwood when it's done well and makes sense, which it kinda did in this fancomic even though it was inspired by my fanfic, which hadn't gone in that direction. Cue some snotty twenty-something with blueish purple dyed long pigtails and a Goth look sitting around nearby looking at all of this informing me "Vashwood is canon." and I said "No it's not." And she argued that she'd read some very obscure comic where it was - and it turns out we had both, by then, shifted into Batman fandom and she was referencing some obscure storyline in which Batman and Robin had fucked like animals. I further argued that I was going by a very specific canon (ala, "Batman the Animated Series" - which was somehow Trigun now), but concededed that while I wasn't as much into the deep lore of the comics, that I wouldn't be surprised if Batman/Robn (Vash and Batman now? Huh?) was canon in some form. Brain.... what are you doing?
#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#cw: cannibalism#but is it really if the guy who is a “humanitarian” is a Plant?#no no Vash would see it as cannibalism#vashwood#apologies to vashwood fans for this#the fancomic in my dream was a very good one though#please don't pay attention to my brain#go read Sin Eaters for yikes horror tender sad content#it is actually very beautiful#if you can handle some body horror#I wonder if this dream came about because last night I was talking to a friend...#about how I'd gone to a jerky store recently and had picked up sticks of weird meats#gator camel kangaroo and whatnot#I have yet to try them#it came up in a conversation about food and her reluctance to try new things vs. my enthusiasm for novel experiences#sadly no human jerky#because we do not live in the Fallout universe#the brain is weird#dreams#entertaining dreams#looks like I write fanfiction in my dreams now
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Still debating whether or not I want to try for a second draft of the Hornblower time loop fic or just do some basic edits and throw it into the world as fanfic was intended to be published
#the thing is that i'm not sure it's getting at the things i want it to get at enough#but also i have such a backlog of projects and i want to get those done too#and start working on dragon king more this semester instead of fics :///#i think i'll see how it reads when i finish and then decide. hey ho. if it doesn't come out here there's always oracle fic too#also debating rewriting the hornblower/maria genderflu as full-on regency novel pastiche but that might be too silly of me#someone restrain me. i don't have the time or the bandwidth or the anything for this#hornblowerfic is at 15k though we made it!! (on the train trip!)#and still need about a chapter and a half so will probably end up being about 20k?? or maybe not even#updates you didn't need on a blog you can't find or whatever my old clever tag was#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#SPEAKING OF WHICH. aubreyad football au needs to come back i want to finish her!!!!! <- yet another project for the docket :')
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
THEY LET DUSTIN SAY FUCK
Okay, but seriously, how does Starset get BETTER with every new thing?
They released a new song and within ten seconds of listening, I was smiling and muttering, "I love this." I mean, they hit me right in the sweet spot with pounding heaviness and intense violins, so of course I love it, but the signature Starset melodic lyrics and dynamic verse structure are there in SPADES. Syncopation and key changes galore!
What even is this song? Progressive hard rock with orchestral elements and a dubstep verse? (I'd like dubstep a lot more if it was all like this!)
I wonder if the cover being the alchemical occult symbol for earth (as the element moreso than the planet, I believe) has deeper meaning? (I mean, it's Starset, it very well may.)
And it's so incredibly relevant to my life today... The line, "And when it all blows up, the sun will still be shining." That made me smile when I desperately needed it.
Listen to it, this song is so GOOD.
What the fuck.
(Mild warning for content that might trigger paranoia in a couple lines and themes.)
youtube
#I don't know the story behind the music videos yet but I have the novels and I plan on reading those first to get the context!#I'm new to Starset so I'm still learning. But I'm sure I'll love it when I get up to speed!#I do assume it has something to do with the way the demonstration I saw in April ended with ''We're going to Prox'' though.#starset#brave new world#music#rhs music#Youtube
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sabaody archipelago#ch512#well anyway i'm doing 511 and 512 on the same night bc i want to fluff the queue a bit more#we're getting pretty close to the marineford war arc and there are not going to be a lot of sanjis there... i'm torn between actually doing#a reread for me personally and just skimming for sanjis. i do want to read a few more manga series#i have a list of josei recs from some youtubers i watch since i enjoy josei games#i'm thinking on reading uhhhh life lessons with uramichi oniisan soon since that one seems very funny#idk maybe in a few chapters you'll see my review in some of these tags#but the other 3 series on my notecard areeeee dont call it mystery. even though we're adults (which is also yuri)#and apple children of aeon which i'm probably going to do next? idk yet.#well anyway i'm also getting even deeper into 18trip like its bad bad#netaro sr event happening rn and thank god its just an sr bc i went broke pulling#for nagi's birthday card (got his initial ssr. no birthday though </3#) and renga's birthday is august 9th and grrrrr#i read a better tl of renga's light novel + liguang's ln + first half of sun will r1ze and oh my fucking god#i need a better tl of ten's ln NOW come onnnnnn let me go insane#i'm probably going to be posting 18trip meta on main if anyone was that interested#in my takes on a kinda niche new josei game#play/read 18trip though this is a Threat
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i frickn love that the very first piece of information we get in the Reanimator novelization is that Herbert is so bothered by noise when he works.
he just like me fr
#reanimator#novelization#yes im novelization-pilled (actually have no idea how the -pilled reference woks i have seen matrix once and i have never engaged in any#in any culture around it. and also: i dont want to know i dont care)#(have only read the first two pages yet though)#Herbert West
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Holy crap why would you say this
Anyways I hope the next MXTX novel won’t be too heartbreaking (please have a good end please have a good end please have a good end please—)
#I’m pretty new to mxtx so Idk but have they ever ended a novel badly?#not badly in unliked way#but badly as in one of them dies and they never get together#if not then there’s still hope#Idk#mxtx#mo xiang tong xiu#immortal x mortal#what a fun trope#I haven’t read anything with that yet#maybe I’ll find something#though there’s always a first for everything
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#psyching myself up to try and watch the new series of heartstopper#I don't make a lot of personal posts these days and it feels easier to talk about this in the tags for some reason now - like I'm whisperin#but series 2 absolutely wrecked me in a way that is not entirely healthy#isaac's storyline is just a bit too close to home for me and I became a bawling mess every single time he was on screen#and not in a cathartic way. in a like I am dredging up the trauma of growing up aroace without having fully come to terms with it yet way.#I've come such a long way with slowly starting to feel pride in being aroace even in just the last few months#that I wondered if I'd actually be fine with it this time. I even considered rewatching s2 in preparation. turns out I'm not fine.#I watched a recap of s2 to try and remember what happened and uhhhh that clip of isaac rejecting that love interest in the bookshop#(with the novel loveless blurry in the background) has already brought up emotions.#then I thought I'd scroll some spoilers in his character tag just to prepare myself for what would happen with him this season#and just reading posts (mild spoilers here) about him being proudly aroace have sent me into paroxysms of sobbing yet again so....#I've honestly come such a long way in the last few years and the last few months. I'm even talking about it on tumblr now.#but I guess most of my work on that front has been accepting the present and the future of not having or wanting a partner.#whereas there's still a lifetime of trauma from the way it made me feel in the past#both growing up feeling alienated and having no idea what was different about me and the extent to which I tried to make it not be true#for years after first having an inkling of it being a possibility. I would have done anything to make myself alloromantic.#(the realisation of asexuality came later and was more of a 'huh I guess that makes sense' thing lol)#and even though I no longer want to change this fact about who I am#I guess I'm more traumatised by it all than I consciously realised. genuinely thought I'd be fine at this point.#anyway ramble over. I'm actually not sure if I should watch the new season or not. will it be helpful to work through the emotions?#or just re-traumatise me? felt more like the latter last time so hmmm.#guess I'm going to have to think about it.#it feels ridiculous that such a fluffy show - in which the character in question is pretty minor - should provoke such a reaction#but there you go#mine#tag chat#personal
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
wdym christmas is next week?????
#wasnt yesterday just november??? hello????????#im still writing ‘nov’ in my dates by mistake lmao wdym we’ll be in a new year 2 weeks from now#but aaaaa… christmas huh~~~~~~ it’s that time of year when i have to come up with excuses to skip the family gathering again#i havent gone since. like. 2019(?) and i like to keep it that way#b u t~ if i can skip the gathering i’ll finally get back to idol sengen~~~~ maybe~~~~~~~#vol 5 has been out since f o r e v e r i really ought to get at least the asuna pov chapters done before the year ends (pipe dream)#wait no i’ll get the asuna povs done before next cny. yeah. that’ll give me an extra month!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but hmmmmmmmmmm… once im done with vol 5 (in a million years) i gotta polish up my mona novel tl too… man.#maybe i’ll make a mona tl masterpost after all that~~~~ minus the honeypre event tls bc that’s a whole other ‘verse lol#but i really wanna do mona’s honeypre main story too… it gives context as to how she landed the event gig (that led to her getting scouted)#…should my ny’s resolution to be to finish all possible mona tls that have yet to be done maybe…?#…nah im just gonna make it ‘learn to ride a bike’ for the 15th year in a row. giggity#a n y w a y s merry early christmas from my workplace ig? the ‘mas luncheon from a couple days back sure gifted every other person something#that they didnt ask for (read: food poisoning). the fact that it took out over half my department still gets me thoughhhhhhh#(i wasnt affected though~~~~ ((didnt eat anything)) i did lose my 1h break for the day though… what a waste.)#ok that’s enough of being annoying for one day~~~~ see y’all tomorrow (maybe) if hw decides to drop an announcement or sth#which would prolly be either their comi.ket lineup or chizuchan manga vol 2’s cover but hey—)
4 notes
·
View notes