#though i'm also on a break from work so i can just devote myself one trillion percent to ye olde blorbos etc.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

a hard thing about having my brain is that when i am really into something, i enter a state of weird mania where my creative energy is completely crackling and tireless and single-minded, as evinced by the three fics, one vid, and one zillion posts i have inflicted upon the romangerri tumblr community since sunday D:

[amelikos]

A couple of things about the new episode in regards to Amethio's scene.

Amethio's facial expressions and his voice (looking and sounding extremely worn out and vulnerable). I thought that his VA did a good job at conveying how he felt. And it also felt significant that he allows himself to display such vulnerability around others, namely Zir and Conia. The way he sounds depending on who he talks to, etc. This is the first time he's sounded so vulnerable. Also, to me, he looked like he was just so exhausted in general... I wonder if he cried. I mean, the person he loves the most (his grandfather) told him he doesn't want to see him anymore and rejected him, when Amethio is devoting his everything to his dream.

Amethio's lines. Notably the "don't make me repeat myself" which possibly implies that he already explained his situation to Zir and Conia.. and that even though he explained, they stuck around because they genuinely want to stay around him to help. And that line also implies that they probably tried to talk to him before that. Which is a step forward for them because back in HZ026 (the first episode of chapter 2), they were distant and Zir said that "it was hard to talk to him (Amethio)". Which possibly meant that they were unsure on how to reach out and that they didn't try to communicate with him. So there was a wall between them (Amethio was alone with Soublades, Zir and Conia weren't next to him in HZ026), which they are now trying to break to get closer to him.

Also in terms of lines. Amethio thinking that Zir and Conia would only stuck around for a shot at promotion was sad. The fact he is aware of such things, and that he didn't consider that they'd want to stay with him because they care about him for who he is. It was clear that they always cared about him more than just for work purposes, but Amethio probably didn't see/consider it. I'm curious about their past tbh (when did they meet Amethio, etc..).

Also Amethio thanking them was sweet. His smile too (his first smile!). The fact he went from "what can I.. no what can we do" and openly asked for their help (he values teamwork and their help). The lines in the opening "even if you seem stuck, you'll be fine" definitely seem to apply to Amethio in this chapter. Amethio is stuck and he isn't sure what to do, and he wants to figure out what to do. And he asked others for help. So hopefully he'll be fine.. I'm not sure what he can do, though. And it still seems like he is going to figure out what he can do to help Gibeon? So, Zir and Conia are still helping him on the Explorers front. I'm curious about Amethio's direction for this chapter.. (Also, I need to point out that he is currently stuck like Liko was before when he met her in the mountain. He helped her out with his words, so now it's also time for him to reflect and consider his own words. Is he going to declare himself worthless and give up after hitting a stumbling block? This is probably the strongest test of Amethio's resolve so far.)

Also, Zir watching Gurumin's videos is still fun and he seemed interested and pointed out the fact that Kuwassu evolved. Potential upcoming Saidon evolution for Zir? Out of the trio (Amethio, Zir, Conia), he is the only one whose main Pokemon hasn't reached its final evolution stage. And Zir is someone who wants to get stronger to help and be able to stand by Amethio's side (he asked Gurumin for advice in terms of battles previously and actually followed it, such as when he taught Sandstorm to his Saidon in HZ025, etc). And in HZ027, he pondered on the word "'friend" when watching Gurumin's video about multi battles. How having friends you can rely on during battles is reassuring! (And also pointing out that after HZ027, the first person we saw Amethio team up with during battle was Friede in HZ045. The first person Amethio trusted enough to battle alongside with, and someone who could be a reassuring friend and ally to have during battles..!)

Anyway, it was also nice to finally hear Zir say the word "friend" because he clearly wanted to say it since HZ027. I think that moment of him watching the Gurumin video about friends was setting up Friede and Amethio's team up in HZ045, and also setting up the day Zir would finally refer to Amethio as "friend" (which he did now after 41 episodes). Gurumin's videos made him think about that. And the one who made Dot talk more openly about friendship and cherish that was Liko. A virtuous circle starting from Liko who reached out to Dot to become her friend, which then made Dot talk more about it in her Gurumin content which Zir watches. Which is now affecting Amethio positively because people are stepping up with the clear intent to support him in his time of need.

It's also neat that Amethio appreciates Zir and Conia's support for what it is. Because they aren't on par with him in terms of battling skills. He is stronger than them on that front (though they do bring him intel and help in other ways). So, it's also cool that even on Amethio's side, Zir and Conia don't need to be the strongest or whatever to be of value. Just them being there for him helps a lot already and he clearly appreciates that. He never gets angry at them either (he always thanks them for their work, even when they don't bring results, like in HZ024 when they couldn't find the castle's location, etc). He didn't blame them or lash out at them in this episode. He is appreciative and kind to them in general, so their loyalty is warranted. They aren't with him because they want a promotion, and Amethio doesn't need them to be "more" than what they currently are to consider them worthy.

Also, the thing about Amethio not having misplaced blame or lashing out at them is reassuring me a bit on the Amethio and Liko front. I wondered if Amethio would regret helping her, since it's what led to this current situation... but also, Amethio would have done the same thing over and over again even if he knew the consequences, since he is that kind of person. (And it's also why Spinel put him in such a situation. Because he knew exactly how Amethio would react, and that he isn't the kind of person to abandon someone in a dangerous situation.) And Amethio usually accepts his actions and whatever come with them.

And speaking of misplaced blame and stuff, I also want to point out that Amethio didn't react negatively to Friede after his loss in HZ025.. he accepted it and pushed forward. He just acknowledged his limitations and kept trying. And when he met Friede again in HZ045 (not counting HZ033 since they didn't interact there), there was no ill will between the two of them after their past confrontation (because there didn't need to be, they just fought for what they believed in). Friede naturally offered to team up, and Amethio followed his lead (being a bit bratty about it on the way there with his "don't give me orders!!", but it's funny and cute that he complains around Friede for the sake of it and still listens anyway because he knows Friede is right).

Anyway, this makes me curious about Amethio and Liko's next meeting and I wonder how they will react to each other after everything.

I think I covered most of what I wanted to write about in regards to Amethio's scene. It was short but good, and some sweetness still managed to shine through despite how crushed Amethio looked.. it made me appreciate Zir and Conia more too. I am not sure what Amethio will be doing going forward, but I hope things will be okay.

[ddejavvu]

this is just a readout of my inner thoughts towards writing at the moment, it's not a declaration of change to come and it's not a withdrawal from tumblr, it's literally just me letting you know how writing is working for me right now:

i do enjoy writing shortform content like blurbs/drabbles, but after writing 2 a day for 2 years, I'm a bit burnt out on that posting schedule. i knew that i was going to stop pushing myself that hard because it was impossible with my work and school schedule, however lately it's been hard for me to get any out at all. i write them when i can, but oftentimes I can't, and that does not by any means mean that I'm 'quitting', or 'going on hiatus', it just means that some days are better than others; some days i will write and some days i won't be able to. aside from that, my interests have veered strongly into longform content, like series or long fics. of course, those take much longer to write, and do not possess the instant gratification of shortform content like blurbs, which I do appreciate because it helps motivate me to write more. this means that I'm highly motivated to write a series (i have several thought out, though i'm only working on one at a time (spring fling)), however, in order to keep up my presence on this blog, and cater to those who aren't interested in whatever series i'm working on, i want to keep up with my shortform content as well. that is where my problem arises. i don't want to devote all of my energy into a longer piece, ex. disappear for nine months and then come back with a finished series, it would break my heart to be absent for that long. i also don't have enough writing time in my schedule to split it even close to evenly between short and longform content. short usually wins out because of the instant gratification component; i think 'well, let me just get a few blurbs written and queued to keep up with my blog, then while those are being posted I'll have time to write more of __ series'. spoiler alert, that never happens. it takes me so long to write the blurbs that i never get any series writing done, or i don't have writing time again until after the blurbs have long since been posted and everyone is waiting for more again.

i am truly grateful for my readers and i would never want to insinuate that this is a negative thing; i am honored beyond words that you wait for my writing. i only want to be honest with you as to why you may have to wait for my writing. if i don't write blurbs for several days, it's probably because i'm working on a chapter for a series. if i'm writing a lot of blurbs, know that that was my writing time for the day and that you may have to wait for the next chapter of my series. please just understand that, even though i want to, i don't have all the writing time in the world. nothing is forgotten, nothing will rot away and die in my drafts, i am working on everything. i just can't do two things at once, and I struggle to find a good balance for my writing efforts that works best for my blog.

i wanted to say this to answer any questions you might have for me like 'when is the next chapter of spring fling coming out?' or 'when will we see more james content?' or 'when will my anakin request be posted?'. i don't know. everything is a balance and sometimes I have to choose between writing one thing and writing another. i will write what i write when i write it, and rest assured everything will be written. i ask for patience from you as i try managing my time to best suit both your interests and my own.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking off a friendship without an explanation after a boundary has been crossed repeatedly?

This is one of those "happened a while ago, but still on my mind" stories. I (then 26F) had a long-term close friendship with a classmate from highschool (then 25F) in which we'd been really through a lot together, too much to recount here.

Relevant to the story is that I had just survived cancer a few months earlier, though. Also probably relevant is that we had started drifting apart a little bit recently anyway, because I wasn't as available for daily phone calls anymore due to a new job and a new relationship.

To get to the matter of the friendship break-up fight: I usually proofread her papers for university as a courtesy, she didn't proofread mine, which I didn't mind - orthography is a skill of mine and she showed up for me in different ways. Now it was time for her to write her graduation thesis and I had agreed to help her with it if (!) she managed to finish it a couple days before the deadline this time, because I knew I was gonna be busy on the weekend of the deadline (hand-in on Monday morning). She had a history of procrastination, so I made that clear beforehand.

Friday evening rolls around, she hasn't send me anything yet and I figure she has it covered or found someone else to help her out.

On Saturday evening I'm entertaining guests, two friends who were emigrating halfway across the globe for work the next week. I haven't looked at my phone in hours, as I find that really rude on such a special occasion. I get a call on the landline from my thesis friend, telling me she's done and demanding I get on it immediately. I tell her that I'm busy hosting friends, and that I don't know when I'll next see these two.

She gets nasty. Demands again that I get right on it and to throw my guests out now. I can only put this down to severe stress. I tell her that I'll do it Sunday morning, but not now, and hang up. I get back to my goodbye party. Sunday morning I do the proofreading, send it back to her, we talk a little on the phone and I can tell she's still mad at me for blowing her off.

When I probe a bit and ask what's wrong, she blows up at me and tells me that she had expected better of me, that she expected me to be there for her and not other people in her time of need because she was there for me when I had cancer. That I should count myself lucky because unlike some other friends, she didn't leave me over my illness. (Which did happen, other friends left.)

I get very upset and tell her how much that hurts, that I don't feel it's fair to have this brought up in this context and that if she uses my cancer against me again, friendship over. She hands in her thesis on Monday, gets an A- for it.

Fast forward a couple months, a common friend calls me and tells me my thesis friend had said some incredibly rude things about me and she worries. I have her tell me the story and lo and behold, it's the same complaints: I wasn't grateful enough, didn't value her sacrifice during my chemo enough (visiting me in the same city every two weeks to watch shows together), she expected more devotion etc.

I tell the shared friend and thank you and block the thesis friend on all social media and my phone. I get calls from a hidden number at an insane rate for a week, which I don't pick up, and then that stops too - I'm still not sure if that was her, but the timing was... weird.

The shared friend tells the thesis friend that she told me, so the thesis friend definitely knows what caused me to block her - but I wasn't the one who told her why. Some of our shared friends still feel like I was an asshole for cutting her out like this, so am I?

What are these acronyms?

[snarkspawn]

Ok, So I adore your KenBig art even though I have absolutely zero idea of what the fandom is about haha, would love to hear more about them because I can tell you're so passionate.

Thank you so much! 

I am !! Very Passionate about them yes adhjfkshjks let me try to break them down for you without making it a 3 hour TED talk lmao (no promises)

So they're two minor side characters from the Thai bl series KinnPorsche, also known as The Gay Mafia Show. At the beginning of the series Big is the head bodyguard for Kinn, who he is secretly (and quite hopelessly) in love with and who is the heir to the family's mafia empire. He is Loyal with a capital L, fiercely protective of Kinn, a little (a lot) pathetic in his devotion and quite frankly a bit of a dick. Ken is just Ken his best friend, also a bodyguard for the Main Family and also a bit of a dick. He's from Australia originally and brings us delightful iconic phrases like "nice one, loser" and "are you fucking dumb, bro". Also, pineapple boxer briefs. You mostly see the two of them together and when they show up it's usually to be a bitch and/or to bully Porsche, who is the other main character and love interest for Kinn (hence the name of the show).

They're terrible people is what I'm saying. But then again so is almost everyone else on the show lmao it's the mafia ok!!

It's never explicitly stated in the show but we see other bodyguards room together (namely Porsche and Pete) so the widely accepted headcanon is that Ken and Big are roommates (oh my god they were roommates etc etc) and just because I live for this kind of thing I have convinced myself (and others, apparently! through the power of art) that while Big is hopelessly in love with Kinn (canon), Ken is hopelessly in love with Big (canon in my heart). It's about the pining and the tragedy and a secret third thing (jealousy) for me

Well. I don't want to spoil too much in case you're ever planning on watching it but it's kind of important for them, so ... towards the end of the show Big ends up sacrificing himself for Porsche (or rather, for Kinn's happiness) and dies not knowing that Ken is the mole they've been searching for and is actually working for the Minor Family (so, for Kinn's cousin and uncle who are the main villains in the series). But Ken is killed as well, at roughly the same time just at a different place and at the hand of his actual employer Gun, so they both end up dead.

Which, you know, I personally think is unacceptable because I love them and don't want it to end there, so most (but not all) of my art is set in an AU that I brainstormed with my partner @pharawee in which they both survive and then have to deal with the consequences of their actions (which is absolutely delicious to me because man!! You have Big who is so desperately loyal but has been kind of struggling to find his place now that Porsche is there, and Ken who betrayed everything Big held dear but !! Is also his best friend!!! But is he really? Has he ever really been his friend at all?? And if Ken is a traitor what does that make him who has been sharing everything with him?? Bonus points since Ken is in love with him and never wanted to betray Big personally. So much potential for angst I am telling you, it's a feast), and then eventually they find comfort in each other and carve out their own path. If you're interested you can read the beginning on ao3.

In other headcanons there's been a Thing going on between them all along and sometimes they still die. Or they don't but everything is still fucked up. Either way it's all good and I'm here for all of it hehe

So this is shaping up to turn into that 3 hour TED talk after all which is why I'll stop here, but if you have literally any other questions or are interested in hearing more I would be prepared to go on for hours lmao sorry (but not really).

[distort-opia]

For the director's cut,

I am SOSOSOSOSO curious to see how you'll continue Burn It To Ashes. Do you have anything you'd like to talk about for that fic? I particularly love the part in the fic where Joker seems to flip from being playful and deliberately trying to rile Batman up (being insufferable) to obedient (for a lack of a better term) and willing to keep his impulses in check. I kept expecting Joker to inevitably try to break one of the "rules" Batman set, or at least pushing a boundary/ toeing the line (Just like Batman also expects him to!). But he doesn't! I love how you strictly only show Bruce's thoughts and we don't know what Joker's thinking, leaving the reader to speculate on why Joker's acting this way. I found myself asking many of the same questions Batman was. Is Batman right and is Joker just biding his time? Does Joker secretly enjoy being degraded, or is it just because Batman's doing it? Is allowing Bruce the control another way of Joker toying with Batman, meaning Joker's the one "winning" while Batman thinks he is? I love how Batman convinces himself throughout most of the fic that he's enjoying the experience because Joker isn't (punishment), contrasted by his later obvious excitement at discovering that instead Joker's thouroughly enjoying himself. It's so similar to me to their dynamic in general, where Batman can never really "win" against Joker because Joker always spins it in a way that it means he's won. I don't think Batman would've actually enjoyed it if Joker had seemed turned off and only merely allowed Batman to do what he did.

Would love to hear some of your thoughts!

I'm really happy you like burn it to ashes! Aaa, so nice to get an in-depth ask like this with great reflections, thank you. To be honest, that fic is pretty much a consequence of Silvestri's portrayal of Bruce being a shade darker than usual, with the not-so-subtle need for domination on display. Which all Bruces have, but this one spit in Joker's face and put him in a gimp mask and then in a skintight suit he designed and then did whatever the hell "Come and get it" was... It lit my brain up like a Christmas tree, hah.

As to the questions on Joker's state of mind: yes, is the answer to most of that...? Though Joker would probably kill anyone else trying something like what Bruce did in two seconds flat. Batman has the capacity to dominate and degrade him because Joker thinks he's an equal and worthy of it. But thing is, they're both losing and winning at the same time. It's a zero sum game, despite Joker being much better at spinning it in his favor. Joker is allowing for Bruce to dominate him that way because it's Batman doing it, but he's still conflicted; he's enjoying himself and Bruce can't stop him from liking what's happening, but that doesn't mean Joker doesn't dislike his weakness being used as dangled bait to make him behave and play by Batman's rules. Neither of them are free, they're inescapably under the influence of the other, and thus will always feel a degree of hatred towards the other for it. And Bruce is banking on Joker's resentment in making it a punishment because he hates Joker's guts... but at the same time he enjoys that Joker enjoys everything he does. Because it means he's in possession of someone he can do whatever he wants to, but still won't ever leave. It's a contradictory thing; Bruce's sadism and genuine anger at all the things Joker's done drive him to make Joker suffer, but at the same he'll always be relieved that Joker isn't actually suffering, because then maybe Joker would stop being unconditionally devoted to him. So yes absolutely, I agree that Bruce wouldn't have fully enjoyed it if Joker didn't like it too.

As a sneak peek, I'll say that the continuation will be a separate work. Gonna have to make this baby a series. Because in issue #4 of Deadly Duo, Joker disobeys, doesn't he? Bruce told him not to kill people, and yet Joker threw those passengers off the train. So the next work will take place in issue #4 and be centred around Bruce enforcing... consequences of the horny kind.

fanfic writer ask game - director's commentary

[supergigabigboybabechad]

She/they, bisexual, asexual, 19 (I tried to make it less formal sorry if it looks formal still. 💜)

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin. (If you need I picture I can send you one in dm or I can send a picrew).

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t or my kin itto and scaramouche, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

Hii!! Im sorry this took so long I wanted to make sure you’d definitely love it and I couldn’t do much over weekdays but weekends are for double time! So here you go!❤️ (order is less to most compatible imo!🔥)

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would REALLY appreciate you wanting to talk things out during a fight, as well as how easy you are to talk to!

Azul has insecurities himself, so it’s safe to say he’d get scared you’d leave him if you left your fight without resolving anything, with his nature in general, pretty sure he hates loose ends

Once you’ve talked things out while being civil and mature, he’d ask “So, could we call this situation resolved?”

The way his voice shakes a little you can tell he’s worried

Upon hearing no and that it was just a conversation to better understand each other, that now that you’ve resolved the issue you can both better work to avoid it next time, not only is he relieved but he’s smitten with how smart you are!

Azul is overworks himself too. Top ranking student with a successful business, theres definitely a lot on his mind…

Luckily you’d be there to support him, he wouldn’t want to appear weak to you so if you asked him what was wrong he’d respond with the usual “just tired”

Urge him to take the break he so desperately needs so he can just sit with you

His jacket’s not very comfortable so if you’d offer him your hoodie he’d bashfully accept and lean on you

He likes that you’re chubby! It kind of hits home for him with his past but the way you’re so beautiful dare he say your size adding to such beauty it soothes his past wounds

He would love to play board games with you!! He’d take you up at every challenge

He might let you win if he’s feeling especially benevolent but if you beat him on your own accord he’d keep challenging you till he won

If it’s largely a skill based game it would bother him so much that he’d devote hours to practice just to be able to win

Azul would understand your anxiety due to his own, he may not experience it the way you do but he sure knows how it feels

He’d drag you to the vip room where you could have time to think

If you’re willing to talk to him he’d walk you through your thoughts and help you rationalize what’s going on

He’d also get Jade or Floyd to bring you some food and refreshments, on the house of course, to make sure you’re in the right headspace

If you wanted to help him out while he works he’s really appreciate it! Being helpful to him, trying to decrease his workload, he feels cared for

That and any time with you relaxes him, suddenly paperwork feels less like a chore.

Silver

Upon first meeting you silver wouldn’t be deterred by your rbf (he has one too). He’d speak to you in his overly formal way.

He wouldn’t mind you being quite or not talking much either, with his caring nature, he’d often come to you just to check in and make sure you’re okay

Silver is very much an acts of service lover. He’d take care of all the spiders for you! He wouldn’t kill them he’d carefully scoop them out and leave them far away from you.

He’d assure you everything is alright and taken care of. Then being knightly as he is, he’d ask if you need anything and bring you a glass of water.

Always going the extra mile to ensure your safety and well being he’d sit beside you, just in case you needed anything.

Speaking of, he’d always be there to comfort you when you’re struggling with your mental health

I cant say he’d know exactly what to do the first time he sees you having a panic attack.

He’ll try his best to comfort you but be hesitant knowing the fragility of the situation. What he will do though is research on how to better help you the next time, he’d speak to you exactly about it as well, not during your attack but he’d bring it up casually

While taking you out on a date in the forest, woodland creatures surround you both having in a relaxed state.

“The other day, how often does that happen?____ Mmh.. I see, I’m sorry, the next time, even if I’m not there, I want you to come to me. What can I do to help you?”

This applies to anxieties about your relationship with him as well.

If you’re anxious about anything in your relationship, it will hurt his heart to know you feel that way and he’s do anything to make sure you have no reasonable doubt in his love for you.

Silver would love your painting.

If you ever wanted inspiration to paint or draw anything outside he’d accompany you out into the forest

Creatures would come running to him wherever you are giving you a lovely scene to spark inspiration. He might fall asleep while your painting but with all the animals around him and the soft light hitting him you might end up with him on your canvas

He’d be flustered to find that he was the muse of your latest work (very flustered)

“Oh this.. No it’s nice the technique, you’re very skilled.. I just…” he wouldn’t be able to properly express how happy he is

Silver would also encourage you to talk about your personal problems. As your knight and lover, it’s his job to make sure you’re happy and safe

He’d know when you’re upset and ask you about it but he doesn’t want to push, he’d encourage you to tell him but if you’re uncomfortable he wouldn’t force it.

Instead, he’d show you acts of service, taking you out for a walk or just all together refusing to let you be alone

With Silver you’d never feel lonely and you’d always have someone there for you, and someone who will put you first the way you do for others

Leona Kingscholar

This seems like a very unlikely pairing i know, but I feel like you’d really compliment each other!

Can’t say your first impressions of him would be great.. he’d definitely be a bit very rude but generally, i don’t think he’d make any personal attacks, I don’t think he really does so in general he’s just kinda bitchy

You wouldn’t understand what he has against you and try to ask about it. He wouldn’t be receptive at first, if you really think about it, nobody’s really put effort into trying to understand him. You’ll receive push back when trying to understand him

Once he realizes you’re truly trying to have a conversation, he doesn’t know how to take it, he’s touched deep down though, he won’t show it of course but from then on he’s acted more…neutral towards you?

Putting others way before yourself?? He won’t have it, he doesn’t care if you’re nice to people that’s none of his business, but he won’t let you do anything to harm yourself

As lovers, he wouldn’t give you sweet words, but you can tell he speaks to you softer than anyone else, but when it comes to things like this, where you’re indulging in unhealthy habits, he’s much more stern

“Hey herbivore, there’s a difference between being helpful and being a pushover. Do you really want to be doing that?”

If you don’t give in and take care of yourself first, he’ll grab you for a nap

“We’ll I need your help too. I’m your boyfriend, shouldn’t I take priority, i need to be comfortable while I sleep….. Hah? What about them, I’ll tell them you’re busy”

He’d love your comfy clothes and soft body! It’s more comfortable for him when he holds you.

The way you’re protective of the people you care about? Be ready to be on the receiving end x2

If anyone even slightly mistreated you while he’s around, he’d demand things be made right and that you receive an earnest apology

He’ll drive you around too! Or he’ll have someone take you, he’s so reluctant to show how much he cares for you with his words but he’ll do things for you that you know he wouldn’t do for anyone else

If you want him to play a board game, he might make a comment on how childish it is but willingly join you

Unless it’s chess he’d willingly challenge you, if you express desire to play video games though he’ll blow you off about not having any, but the next time you see him he has a console with competitive games for you to play together, he claims it’s because beating you is fun any way so might as well expand his horizons

As for your anxiety? If he notices you’re anxious, he’ll say he wants to ditch and take you somewhere quiet

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” The lack of attitude in his voice gives away his genuine worry. If you don’t respond or say you don’t want to talk about it, he’ll sigh, sit you down beside him and just lean you against his chest where you can hear his heart beat.

Keeping his hand on your head so you can’t move away, whether he intended it or not the sound of his heart beat would soothe you.

His hearing is highly sensitive so he’ll know when you’re feeling better due to your breathing. “Do you wanna tell me know? Or do you wanna stay there?”

Leona would be what you’re missing, he’d stand up for you and make sure you’re first. But at the same time you’d be what he’s missing too, no one has taken the time to truly listen to him, what he thinks or what he feels, with you he feels heard.

Idia Shroud

With how introverted you’d both be at first, you probably got close through board game club

Idia gets more talkative when he’s in a competitive mood which would likely lead you both to opening up while playing

His competitive spirit might bring out something in you too leading to your board game matches to become a more frequent thing (you’re more normal about games than Azul)

I have no proof other than pure gut instinct but I feel this VERY STEONGLY HE WOULD LOVE YOUR FRECKLES HE WOULD LOVE THEM SO MUCH I KNOW HE WOULD

Later into the relationship, he’d hold your face and kiss them as a greeting, afterwards he’d pull back and admire them while lightly brushing over them with his thumb(HE WOULD TRUST)

He loves your style! But he REALLY LOVES your hoodies, if you accidentally forget one in his room, he wont give it back, even when asked about it he’ll claim to have never seen it

He’d get really embarrassed if you asked to wear his racket though, no mater how close you are he’d want so badly to say yes but just wouldn’t be able to get the words out

You wouldn’t have to worry about driving! Idia would just whip you up a car that you don’t have to drive

Spiders though? You’d have to fight about who has to kill them…

Idia has a bad habit of saying the wrong thing, he doesn’t mean any harm but he doesn’t get much social interaction so the things he says can come off in the wrong way, that’s why he appreciates how understanding you are!

If you were to talk to him about it he’d rephrase what he said to better fit what he meant

If you yelled at him he’d cry so the way you approach him in such a mature and understanding way is so comforting, any worries he had about confrontation with you are gone

He understands your anxiety, very much so

He’d walk you through a whole exercise if your experiencing anxiety with him, then he’d give you a piece of candy(he always has some on him) and tell you to focus on enjoying the sweetness of it while walking you through a breathing excercise

He has hella video games too! He’d bring you over to play them, he’s playing to win too, I hope you’re in the mood for some friendly trash talk

Before he knows it, he finds himself comfortable with you, comfortable enough to be himself letting him feel safe with you im sure he hopes you feel the same way about him

——————————————P.S. Your style sounds so cool and ur hair style too! (Also I love freckles!!)

[mcchipisfried]

do you have a note taking system somehow? i want to start annotating my books but i never know what to mark down

oh Oh OH OHH OHHH you do not know how long I have been waiting, longing, for SOMEONE to ask this. You are now my favorite person ever and we are now besties :D

Okay so I do and don't have a system but tl;dr Do whatever you want and mark what comes to YOUR mind and what you WANT to recall if you decide to re-read a book!

Long info dumping on how I do my notes under the cut!

So lets get one thing straight, I have not a single clue as to how to "properly" annotate a book in any sense of the word. So fuck it we're doing shit MY way.

So I started by noting that I wanted to mark quotes in my book without writing in it or highlighting [this is personal preference you do whatever you want its your books and they're for YOUR enjoyment] so I got these really cheap side tabs from Amazon

As you can see they're all sticking out because I actually like the whole "messy but organized" look but you could take some scissors and trim them up a bit.

Okay so what do my side tabs mean? Well, I originally didn't know what I wanted to see. I had done Dracula Daily before with the emails but I wanted to make this experience much more enjoyable for myself so I thought of marking quotes or scenes I liked which turned into:

The only time I actually wrote on my copy (this was before I got my sticky notes) I know. I am a genius and my wordplay is unparalleled. So the multicolored tabs mean I ran out of that color and needed a new one. You can see that some of them are different lengths and that's because I cut them so they can properly fit in my book (and it doubles the amount I have) Also here are the "meanings" of each tab:

Ayo that's kinda sus: Each and every time someone (Dracula) does something that reveals their true nature or that something weird is going on. Works well if you're reading mystery and coming back to see all the clues you had since the beginning!

*Women*: Every time a woman does something that surprises me, intrigues me, or makes me smile. I often find these instances can be rare in some books so I decided to mark these in Dracula. I was pleasantly surprised to see how often I was using this tab (when the woman gives Jonathan her crucifix even though she's probably terrified of Dracula, Mina being the devoted wife and woman of my dreams that she is, Lucy being Lucy, etc.)

Ayo that's fucked up: Every time something that breaks my heart or is needlessly cruel happens. The first scene with the baby saw a lot of use from this tab.

Ayo that's gay: C'mon. We're on tumblr. We all know what characters I'm using this tab for.

Quotes I like + Food: I have a soft spot for when characters info dump about historical places or things they like. Stoker has a way of describing certain settings and scenes that honestly makes me smile so I want to mark them. Also I like food. Yeah

When I found my sticky notes I realized I also wanted to write down things (but not on the book) and draw things. I had a lot of fun looking up the recipes that Jonathan mentioned in the beginning of the book as well as drawing them. (I have the preparation instructions on the back) (you can also see the side tab for food on that page)

I also think in memes or at least I process information as jokes a lot

Sometimes I get more detailed with my drawings or even write theories I may have about what is happening in the book. Trying to capture my emotions and thoughts in small blips (even though I have read the book before and know exactly how it ends)

At the end of the day you can take everything I just said and defenestrate it and do you own thing. Which honestly, I would do because this is just a mess. But I hope I have at least provided a small base from which to build upon. My own advice would be to take into consideration how committed you are because I do think just tabbing you book is sufficient enough but who knows maybe you're more of the power point presentation about the books you read kinda person.

Either way, a good time zone to you, and hope you found this at the very least amusing!

[sburbian-sage]

hey. fuck, i dont even know why im sendin this in. i'm the last one in my session, there's still shit to do, i'll have to get off my ass and do it eventually, but, uh. yeah it's just lonely as shit out here, heheh. um. sage of void. just. saying hello i guess! might see if i can get somewhere new with the magicant. it's been good to me so far. loneliness just doing a number on me. i hope it isnt intolerable for you, out where you are.

If you're thinking of escaping your session with the Skaian Magicant, I don't imagine you will, as a heads up. Though I do have a personal interest in saying this, because if it turns out you can do that and I went into this fuck-ass lovecraft-ass black space for no reason I might actually transmogrify myself into a public art exhibition.

I appreciate the show of solidarity from a fellow Sage, but between us both I think your situation is more dire. My main threat is mind-numbing boredom, starvation, and the possibility that I collide with something and instantly depressurize, killing me before I know it. You're still IN THE GAME, and the only advantage you have over me is better food and sunlight.

Advice on how to complete the session ASAP is somewhere between "obvious" and "you might want to look up a devoted guide". But to pay it back, I'll just tell you how I deal with the solitude and keeping up my mental wellbeing in the face of adversity.

This comes naturally to us as Sages, but bust out the whiteboard and write down everything you need to do it, with a list of steps if it's particularly involved or complicated. Not only can you cross things off (or checkmark them if it's a routine), but breaking down a daunting gauntlet into a series of smaller steps builds the fortitude of mind to take it on. For you specifically, this also boosts RP.

The Replayernet isn't just valuable for all the guides, it has things and people in it. If you have friends, keep in contact with them for the moral support. If you have hobbies, indulge them so you don't explode. If you're running low on reasons to live, "what if my favorite webcomic updates" can be enough.

Uphold your routines. Only excise them definitively, NEVER shirk them because it's not that important, you can do it later, etc. Some self-discipline builds willpower, and deciding not to do something inconsequential like brushing your teeth, changing your clothes, or checking your DMs can end up being the first step in a slow suicide., where everything becomes not that important and then you die.

Prioritizing your mental health is important, but don't neglect your duties, game-mandated or otherwise. There are times where you'll face a tough puzzle or difficult boss and want to turn in for the day and watch cartoons or something. Nobody's there to put your nose to the grindstone and regulate your behavior, so that falls upon you. Treat it like a reward for a hard day's work. Do not succumb to sedentary pleasures.

Similarly, the hobbies don't all have to be mindless pleasure, and in face shouldn't be (or shouldn't entirely be). This blog is somewhere between hobby and duty. I do it because it's useful, mentally stimulating, and challenges me in a lower-stakes environment. You can get similar results from books, puzzles, or video games. That last one is especially recommended by me, get your hands on some ROMs and an emulator. Those old-school games are simple to learn, challenging to master, not to mention you get to lord your superiority over other people by listing how many games that never got an official translation/export you've beaten.

You've probably done all of this before, or are familiar with the outline of what I'm reccomending. The advice is meant to spur you to double-down and provide structure to it. You're standing alone now, but that doesn't mean you can't build guard-rails or other systems of support to keep yourself from falling over.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

(I see we're toeing a line again, Marve...)

I'm sitting in a front-row seat of the old auditorium, staring at an empty stage dimly lit by a single shaft of light coming through one of the back doors. I hear footfalls as someone makes their way down the rows.

"Is this seat taken?"

It's not the Muse. Not the current one, anyway.

"Wait a minute. What the hell are you doing here?"

They shrug. "Hey, it's your brain. You tell me." They look around. "I haven't seen this part of your head before. How come you never invited me up here?"

"I didn't even know I had an entire-ass auditorium in my head until recently. There's a lot of things I'm discovering about my mind these days. I mean, I didn't even know you were still in my head. But I guess none of you ever really leave, do you."

"Yeah, we're all still here. I've met the other Muses in the break room next to your hippocampus." They slide into the seat next to me. "Seriously though. You look like you've been having a bad day. Do you wanna talk about it?"

My voice cracks. "I'm fine."

"Marve." They put an arm around me. "If I'm here, it's probably because things are not fine."

Hot tears well up in my eyes. I try to laugh it off, but immediately realize the absurdity of trying to conceal my feelings when I'm literally sitting inside my own head next to the manifestation of some aspect of my personality.

"Yeah... okay. I'm not fine. There's a whole bunch of emotional baggage that I've apparently been holding onto since I was in high school, just a mess of weird perfectionism and impostor syndrome and depression and loneliness. That would be why you're here; my brain isn't exactly subtle about like, symbolism and shit."

I lean against them. "You were seriously one of the few good things about my teenage years, you know that, right? I looked up to you because you were like, this absolute fuckin' weirdo who I could relate to and who was also successful." I feel their shoulders heave with a barely suppressed chuckle. "No seriously," I continue. "You gave me hope that there might be a place in the world for me after all."

"There absolutely is a place for you in the world. But you know why? Because you carved one out for yourself. You did that. That's something you can be proud of."

"But now what? What was all that surviving for? When will I finally have something to show for it all?"

"Wait, seriously? You don't think you have anything to show- ohhh. You don't think you have anything good enough for the Muse. That's what this is."

I look up at them. "Hold up. Do I detect a hint of... jealousy?"

"You didn't have any hangups about showing me your work. I'm just wondering out loud what's different this time."

"Oh my God, dude."

"I realize this may sound rich coming from me of all people, but... you don't actually have to impress the Muse just because they inspired you."

"This isn't really about them, though."

"Oh? Because there's a giant corkboard posted in the chart room of your prefrontal cortex labeled 'Five-Year Plan for Getting Noticed by Senpai' that has gone through numerous revisions over the last eight months."

"Who let you into my prefrontal cortex?!"

"Marve, I'm a figment of your imagination. No one's going to badge me when I show up. But back to the point... if you're going to use us as your yardstick for whether or not your limerence has gotten out of hand, I'm going to remind you that you didn't have a five-year plan to get my attention back in the day."

"I didn't plan for anything back then. I didn't see the point. In an alternate timeline I might have, though."

"So you have more control over your life now, but you want to devote it to maybe impressing someone you've never even met?"

"They're a stand-in for me. Until I can like myself enough to be my own motivation again."

"But this limerent devotion isn't helping you if it's making you feel inadequate and anxious."

"At least something is motivating me again. I just need a reason to keep going until I can find the next reason to keep going."

"Your five-year plan doesn't include any solid strategy to transition away from chasing after the Muse as your main source of motivation. If this whole thing is only supposed to be a narrative frame for your own personal growth, where and how exactly does personal growth fit into this narrative?"

I slide off their shoulder down into my seat and sigh. "Hell of a way to get called out by my own brain."

"Marve, you know I don't hand out compliments of any kind lightly. When I said that I was impressed by how smart and talented you were, I meant it. And now I also know what extraordinary inner strength you have in you, too. You have no reason to consider yourself inadequate. If this weirdo- if you meet them IRL and they don't like you, that's on them, not you."

"...you're a little jealous."

"I'm not. Granted, I do have some... questions about their whole deal. But what I really care about is keeping you from running yourself into the ground again. You say you know who this is really for, but I think the boundaries have gotten too fuzzy and it's time for you to pull back and refocus on you."

"Dear God. This is possibly the weirdest pep talk I've ever received from my own brain."

"I hope it means something, to hear it coming from me. Don't forget that there have always been people out there rooting for you. Including myself."

They lean over and kiss my cheek. "I'll see you in your dreams, Marvy. I'm usually somewhere in there if you're doing the Inception Architect thing. Come find me and say hi."

With that, they get up to leave. I watch them go, still trying to process everything that's just transpired.

[lligkv]

I'm always on-guard against conservatism in my thought. I think of myself as left in my sympathies; I also know I'm at the age where youthful commitments morph, or break under the weight of compromise. Like the ones involved in life in the American professional-managerial middle class. Entry into a certain income bracket, the structure and demands of day-to-day life, the pieces of practical work, like the management of bills, that are necessary to stay afloat, and the many entertainments you can use to while away the hours you don't devote to a job—they all serve to narrow one's horizons; it's so easy to end up stranded in the cul-de-sac of your stupid individual existence. I also have some very rudimentary, instinctive associations I've carried with me since youth. Just as conservatism is bad—because retrograde, oppressive, contingent on baseline assumptions about the self-interest of human character to which I'm not willing to commit—"avant-garde" is good, because it challenges that conservatism. So it was interesting to come upon Dean Kissick's contribution to the feature "What Happened to the Avant-Garde?" in the latest issue of The Drift and think that, based on my last post, he'd probably put me in the arrière-garde—which favors what is past because it's a means to reject the present and future—while he locates the avant-garde in online communities at which I mostly look askance: "schizo-affect" Substacks, the work of Honor Levy, and other venues that seem to thrill to the possibilities that AI and machine learning technologies might hold for art and human subjectivity.

In these communities—products of an era of the Internet that's a little after the one I occupied, as a millennial closer to the middle than the end of that generation's span—"individual subjectivity," as Kissick puts it, "was forsaken in favor of pseudonymity, the impersonation of others, collective authorship, and collaborations with software." In isolation, I'm cool with each of these things except for the last one. Of course, there's no guarantee that any of them make for good art or lasting contributions to it—the title of Kissick's entry is "Senseless Babble," and he himself grants that "there's a fine line between nonsense doggerel and aesthetic innovation here, [as is] always the case with avant-gardes." And it's really too simplistic to say that the avant-garde generally is automatically good. Avant-gardes can be regressive; ours is pretty likely to be, as John Ganz wrote last year:

They pride themselves in being retrograde or blithely unaware along a number of axes, from declaring, as a last ditch Bohemian provocation, their fealty to conventional bourgeois values; their preoccupation with adolescence; appropriation of lower-brow or conservative religious themes; their affectation of not being the product of arts education but rather the native denizens of the dark underbelly of internet message boards; their deliberate cultivation of a sense of mental debility or confusion with results that less like Dadaist or Futurist experimentation and more just senseless chatter and maudlin ecstasy....

There's something akin to an accelerationist's empty zeal, too, in Kissick's piece, in claims like the one that the timeline has surpassed modernist poetry as a document of the collective unconscious and human subjectivity within it. A love for what is novel and ostensibly a challenge to what is simply because it's novel or a challenge. A love for form that disregards content. And a love that likely mistakes a mere turn of the wheel for something truly new and unprecedented. Turn the dial back ten or fifteen years and you'd find people saying much the same about alt-lit—though likely less effusively, jadedness and alexithymia being characteristic of that style and its partisans where volubility, profusion, and mania seem hallmarks of this one. We're saying something new, we thought then. And uneasy in the background hung the question: who knows if it's meaningful. (The answer, predictably: not very.) (But at least the question was there.)

Still, we're all here trying to articulate—to make something new, as in valuable, because it speaks to what only we can speak to.

But then there's Lisa Robertson in her novel The Baudelaire Fractal, which I just finished. The novel is another Künstlerroman, the story of an artist's formation, and over the course of her literary apprenticeship, the protagonist decides that, as she puts it, "I was no avant-gardist; I had no interest in abolishing grammar. Rather, I studied it, in a casual way..." Perhaps that's where my own allegiances lie—in working with the world as it is rather than abolishing it; exploring the possibilities it holds without tipping into what I think will degrade it, such as technologies like AI; most crucially, tempering the excitement of the new with some sense of what the new might be worth... Robertson's narrator, for her part, determines that her literary project will entail work with the sentence: "By what profound calculations," she wonders, "could the contours of the sentence be transformed, and what would I then become?"

[recurring-polynya]

Hello polynya! Hope you don’t mind but I’d like to ask you about your writing process. You’re really one of the best fic writers I’ve seen so I’d like to pick your brain a little. :) How long do you spend outlining something before writing it down? What do you do when you get stuck on something? How do you make sure you’re getting characters right? I’m very concerned about that last one since I haven’t seen Bleach in years and if I ever started writing something, I’m worried I’d make everyone OOC.

Hi! Sorry for delay on this. I wanted to take the time to write out a nice and thoughtful answer and then I got swamped by stuff. I really do like sharing writing advice, though, so thank you for asking!

Just gonna do a little cut for length:

How long do you spend outlining something before writing it down? So, I want to start with the caveat that I hate outlining. I am very much that dog-with-a-frisbee meme, only it's "No decide what happens! Only write!" I think that, in general, it's best to do as much outlining as you can stand at the beginning of a project, but there is a minimum amount that I force myself to do, but what that minimum is will depend on the fanfic I am trying to write.

Sometimes a fanfic will spring into my head, fully formed, beginning to middle to end. Just go for it. No outline. Fuck it, we ball. Generally, this is going to be a shorter fanfic, like <10k, but I ran all of Portions for Foxes with no net. There is like the Touch of God, though, there is no way to guarantee this process.

Usually, with the stories in my Heart is a Muscle series, I declare that I am Writing This Thing, and it has a broad concept and, like, 5 scenes I really want to write. In this case, I will make an iterative outline. I really, really didn't feel like outlining the one I am working on now, and for a significant amount of time, my "Ductwork Notes" documents just said: "Outline: lol". However, as I actually started to work on it, and completed some scenes, I put them in the outline. Also, any time I thought of a scene I wanted to do, or a scene I would need to do, I added it to the outline. At some point, I was able to feel my way around the shape of the thing. It takes place over ~2 weeks, and I wrote out when the big events happened, which made it more obvious where and what I needed to add. I just continue to refine and add detail. I'm maybe 10 or 15% of my way into this thing (by progress, not by word count). As I go, I continue to update the outline. Eventually, I will break it into chapters, with word count. Going back and forth between the zoomed-way-in activity of writing and the big picture exercise of thinking about my story as a whole is the best way for me to work (it's also the way I code, swapping back and forth between writing and testing individual functions with how they fit into the overall software framework.) I feel like this is not a thing that would work for everyone, but it works for me.

Plot bunnies. We all get them. I generally do not get gripped by them, the way some people do, but every so often, I have a bit of a wild idea (often an AU), where I get excited over an idea, and I need to decide how much energy I am willing to devote to it. In this case, an outline is a tool for that. The thing that separates a plot bunny, imo, from a "fic idea" is that plot bunnies are usually open ended hooks: What if so-and-so died? Oh, I love this splash page where they're all in a band. That's not a story, it's just a concept. So, if I am considering making a story, I force myself to make an outline. It must have a beginning, middle and end. It must contain a number of Big Scenes I am excited about writing and that I think people will be excited about reading. Sometimes, this process very clearly informs me that this is not a story that I want to take the time to write, and that maybe I'd rather just do a fanart or write a 1k throwaway scene or maybe just make a Tumblr post about. But if the process of making the outline isn't a huge turnoff, well, now I've got an outline, which is a significant part of the work done, and I can feel free to go for it.

What do you do when you get stuck on something?

If I am stuck on a specific thing, the best thing for me is to go do a chore that requires my hands and leaves my brain free. Washing dishes, folding laundry, weeding, are all excellent candidates for this. It can be enormously frustrating to get stuck, because I am very impatient, so I have a litany of things I tell myself at these times, like "this is what writing is. just let your brain chew on it." I often try to let my brain run down little possibilities, even when I know they won't work, just to see where they lead. I try to remind myself to have fun and enjoy the process.

If I am stuck in the sense that I have writer's block or just generally don't feel like writing, I try to do other things. If I catch up on my ao3 comments and my volunteer job, then, when the inspiration comes back, I'll have a clear schedule. I believe that there are cycles of writing, where sometimes you are in creative mode, but sometimes you are in rest mode, and sometimes you are ingest mode, so it's good to go read a book or watch a new show. It's also cool to go revisit the source material.

How do you make sure you’re getting characters right? I’m very concerned about that last one since I haven’t seen Bleach in years and if I ever started writing something, I’m worried I’d make everyone OOC.

I mean, why not do a rewatch, or even better, read the manga? You don't have to go through the whole thing, just the parts relevant to the story you are trying to tell, or the character you are trying to get write. I do this all the time, even though I already have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of the parts of Bleach I care about. The Bleach wiki is very helpful for figuring out what happened in particular episodes.

I think this ties back to the previous questions, but a big part of writing is that you have to sit with your writing in your head and figure out what you are doing and why and if you are accomplishing that. There are different ways of doing this that you may find you enjoy more or less. I don't like outlining, but I do like looking up little bits of canon and overanalyzing minor details and making esoteric Tumblr posts about them.

Once you are actually writing, I try to have a very clear idea for my major players of:

What is their tendency?

What is their goal?

Their tendency is what they do naturally, how they act when they aren't thinking about it. Usually, you are shooting for your character to have some growth or change, and that's what I mean by goal. How do they act when they are being intentional? Then, in any writing situation, you can decide, "are they being natural or are they being intentional?" and decide their actions based on that. I think the most basic conflict you can write about is the tension between who someone is and who they would like to be!

A very basic example of this is that Renji is usually a pretty casual guy. He uses informal speech and probably jokes around with his subordinates. On the other hand, when Byakuya's around, he straightens his spine and puts on his best officer voice, because he wants to impress his boss.

This is going to vary based on the story you want to tell. The "tendency" category is also going to include what your characters do when they are scared or angry or other circumstances where things move from "unthinking" into "involuntary." A nice thing about this is that if you write one million stories about the same characters, you can really show their growth over time.

I hate YouTube analysis videos, but I watched one that really rewired my brain, about how, in a panic situation, Renji freezes up and Rukia runs. Hihiou Zabimaru, as an incomplete bankai, often acts a protective wall around Renji, allowing him to act while standing still. Conversely, So-oh Zabimaru is a close-combat bankai and prominently features a grabby arm. Rukia's bankai, on the other hand, is all about standing her ground (and forcing everyone else to, too). And on one hand, this is a powers analysis, but I use this as a touchstone a lot when I write about their conflict resolution styles at various stages of their maturity.

Here's a bit of advice that may be controversial, but I am going to say it: I think that even if you prefer AUs (and I mean, like, coffee shop AUs, not twist-on-canon AUs) you should write canon-compliant fic once in a while, even just as an exercise. You don't have to show it to anyone, it doesn't need to be a complete story. You can even just take a canon scene and try to write it from the POV of one of your characters. I just people really underestimate the amount of character work it takes to write a good AU. It's super hard to keep the characters feeling correct when you've taken away all the character beats that have informed them as people! In fact, I think it's good for any writer to try out different kinds of writing once in a while, even kinds you think you won't like. It really builds your writerly muscles and forces your to think about things in new and potentially mind-blowing ways.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful! I hope you do give writing a shot and I wish you the best of luck!

[thisisatesttai]

I'm rereading Fables by Bill Willingham, and I think I'm going to document my thoughts on it, because as much as I like the premise, I've never been able to call myself a fan, and I want to know why.

(Also it's a comic that I can pirate online until I inevitably get tired of it again, so it feels a lot more manageable for my ADHD than, say, reading a book or sitting down for a two-hour movie has been.)

For posterity's sake, I've read most of Fables in the past, I don't know how many volumes but somewhere between 10 and 20, so more than half. Normally, I'd eat up this twisted fairy tale sort of thing, which is why I've read so much of it despite never being able to put my finger on what I don't like about it. Right now I'm partway through the second arc, which I remember being the arc where I originally decided I didn't like Fables, but I want to get my thoughts down about the first arc and why it's kind of stinky before I get into this one.

Oh, I'm discussing plot details openly here, so spoiler warning.

So the premise of this first arc is that Snow White's sister, Rose Red, has been murdered. Her ex-boyfriend, Jack Horner, best boi, is immediately put in the dungeon as part of an interrogation technique by our cowboy cop hero, Bigby Wolf. Immediately I'm like, there needs be a good justification for this. Like, I get wanting your hero to do questionable things, but you need a good reason to pull it off. I'll preface this by saying Bigby doesn't have a good reason.

So, while Jack is sitting in jail with no charges brought against him -- a fact that the comic is open about -- Bigby starts investigating with Snow, who he insists is a suspect, too. I was going to complain that he doesn't really have a reason to, but then I realized that him saying "well, we know there's bad blood between the sisters" is probably an excuse for Bigby to cut Snow out of the investigation in-character as much as it is for Willingham's convenience. There's a lot of time devoted to her being irrational, which is attributed to her having presumably lost her sister, but it does reek of misogyny and is an excuse for Bigby to shut her out.

Then we have Bluebeard, who I've never really understood, who they find out was engaged to Rose Red. He's very much the foul bedfellows sort of character, everyone knows he's a piece of shit, but no one ever takes him to task on it. In his case, Bigby just kind of yells at him and accuses him out of nowhere. This is supposed to be a tactic, too, but I've never understood what it accomplished, besides setting us up for the comic's big fight scene, when Bluebeard breaks into Jack's cell to do his own interrogation and Bigby goes full wolfman to intervene.

Fast forward to the end, it's the big party for all the Fables that's been a ticking clock for the whole arc. Bigby takes Snow on a date "for the mission" and she gives him the last key he needs to solve the mystery, so he goes to the upstairs pool, gets naked, and calls all the main characters up to the roof so they can watch him get out of the pool and explain how he figured out the mystery. I don't know why he does this, though I guess he's pretty open about staging the parlor scene for his own amusement, so I guess he wanted to do the explanation in a speedo? Whatever.

Turns out Rose Red faked her death, with Jack's help. They did it to swindle a dowry from Bluebeard. I will say, a lot of the actual detective work is kind of clever. The bit with the freezer is cool, and while the holes Bigby pokes in the crime scene setup seem really stupid in the moment, I will admit that I did not notice them on my initial read or this one, so I guess they worked. But I never feel like Bigby gets a good reason for why he was holding stuff back from Snow, or for his shitty treatment of the people he's investigating.

[mysteriawrites]

Hello! If you do Baldur's Gate 3 matchups, could I please get one? I'm an autistic she/they enby, I'm fine with any gender, and while I currently work at a library I'm hoping to become a professor of celtic languages and a linguist someday, so I'm learning Scottish Gaelic, Irish and Welsh. I'm super short, only 4' 10" (147 cm), with long wavy auburn hair, glasses, pale freckled skin and a boyish fashion sense. I also have some chronic illnesses like scoliosis, joint pain and asthma. I'm really polite and very friendly with everyone I meet, but I'm also very protective over my loved ones and can be sassy when I feel it's deserved. While I'm generally an anxious person, I'm not afraid to make the first move because I basically tell myself that the moment could slip away, but I will be having heart palpitations while doing that lol. My special interests include linguistics, science, magic (I practice witchcraft irl), cooking, video games, plant identification and a bunch of other stuff, though honestly I'm down to learn about whatever is available (within reason). I've been described as "homely" and "wise beyond my years" since I give good advice and am very self aware. I really enjoy taking care of people but can get flustered if the sentiment is returned.

Thank you so so much, take care of yourself and Happy Holidays sweetie!

We Interupt your regularly scheduled program for.......A MATCHUP TRADE WITH: @tolkien-fantasy

An: i haven’t finished bg3 so bear with me please

Gale of Waterdeep!!!

I’m just gonna say it. You two are fuckin nerds, but that’s part of what makes your relationship work so well. Gale is overjoyed to have someone who is not only as passionate about things as he is, but also shares the same passions. You guys also have similar views and personalities in general.

I’m not gonna go into how yall met since the game p much does that for me so I’m just gonna ramble about your relationship until i run out of ideas lol.

So Gale takes every opportunity he can to visit the library you work at. It’s killing two birds with one stone really: he gets the books he’s looking for and he gets to see his darling girlfriend.

On the topic of books you guys absolutely have reading dates. Whether it’s in his tower, your house, or at the library during your break you two will just sit together and read. Sharing notes on whatever the subject the book is about.

You guys also do joint magic research together. Lots of books and papers scattered everywhere, potions bubbling and brewing in cauldrons, blackboards covered in chalk. It’s basically your mad scientist lair.

Although you know how to not take things too far and we all know Gale needs someone to restrain him sometimes.

Gale enjoys you teaching him about your type of magic. He finds it fascinating and gives you his full attention when you’re explaining it. He also asks a loooooooooot of questions.

Given your knowledge on practically every language in faerun, you make his research so much easier by decoding ancient text for him. What would take him months to do would take you at most a week, although he does force you to take breaks if you ever get too into it and forget to eat or sleep.

You guys absolutely have a garden together. Not only to grow magical plants for your spells and potions, but also just some for cooking and because it’s a calming hobby/past time.

On that more domestic note, you do most of the cooking. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to cook, but he’s the type who would live off instant food and microwave meals so more time could be devoted to his research.

He does try to help though and he finds it very enjoyable to cook with you. It makes him look up from his books and attaining knowledge for a moment and appreciate what’s right there in front of him: you.

I feel like you guys would have a cat. Although you adopt Scratch the dog and the Owlbear on your adventure, I feel like he would really like a cat.

Also imagining that cat causing havoc in your lab by knocking stuff over, sleeping on your notes, and trying to steal your attention away from your work is hilarious to me but shhhh

Part of why he does so much reading and researching, is to try and heal some of your aches and pains. Even if he can’t take your problems away completely (though he’ll never stop looking and trying) he does want to at least make your life a bit easier and the pain more bearable if not non existent.

I’d like to think of Gale as an ambivert. He doesn’t get tired out by socializing, but also appreciates his alone time. So if you guys are ever at a social event he’ll be able to take the initiative for once and make up an excuse for you guys to leave when your social battery is low or you’re getting overstimulated.

He thinks your height is the cutest thing ever. How you have to get stool or latter to reach the higher shelves in the tower. He doesn’t mind having to reach them for you, in fact he enjoys it. He also likes wrapping his big frame around you when you guys cuddle.

Speaking of cuddling, while he doesn’t mind being the little spoon (despite your small frame he feels very comforted in your arms) he’s usually the big spoon. He’s nice and warm and likes having his arms around you.

He wants you to feel the same love, care, and protection that you give to others.

[dbmars]

The Week from Absolute Hell

First and most important for this blog, I posted a new chapter of Bram Stoker's Hannibal.

I'm really glad I posted because I haven't been able to write much this week. My brain literally would not let me. All i could do in my free time was get lost in a movie or chat with the Hannibal Ais on character.ai, pretty much rp'ing as Will with various Hannibal bots and setting up random scenarios like "Will is working at a charity car wash!" just to see what happens.

I don't post online in general about my real life in the fandom space, because I almost feel like it's just a way to elicit attention and sympathy from people who don't really know me, which shouldn't be validating but... I don't know, can be? When I see others posting about their struggles with mental health and such I always try to leave a message of support or just a like or something, send a meme if asked, etc.

I have real supports in my life to draw on. Some real besties, despite my marital partner's lack of ability to support me the way I want to be supported (that's for another post but whatever). It's self indulgent, but here we are.

The week before this was spring break, and the family had a lovely little vacation. I did catch a cold on the road which doesn't surprise me; lack of sleep and gas station bathrooms, even as I tried to stay germ free. I have a 1yo so I knew if she caught something, I would, too. Luckily the symptoms held off until the day we left and I was miserable on the two day drive home but whatever, I was just in the car.

Sunday night/Monday Morning I have a very vivid dream about my grandmother dying in my arms. The next morning I get a text from my mom that she did die that night. I knew it was coming; she had stopped eating and was refusing it. She'd gotten COVID and didn't want to recover it seemed. She was 99 and living in a care facility and decided it was time. I was more worried about my mom to be honest, but I also had a lot of feelings to unpack. But there was no time to process, oh no. No time for big feelings -- I have 2 children, a house, and a full time job.

I felt really sick on Monday, and I was still compartmentalizing about Grandma. But I knew on Tuesday I had two interviews at my job. One was to keep my current position I've had for six years. The other was for another job I was interested in that paid the same amount as the current job but would be a fun change. These interviews got pushed to after spring break and I needed to get them done even though I felt like shit and I was emotionally messy.

The interviews happened Tuesday. They didn't go great but I wouldn't say that I bombed them. I definitely had some sickness related brain fog.

The next day I took a bereavement day to rest my body and help my mom with the plans and maybe give myself time to process. I had my day alone planned out, the kids at school, when I get a call from my boss that I didn't get either job. I was being demoted. I would still have a job that paid less, even after devoting myself for six years to this particular job.

The worst part is that they announced the new hires, and everyone retained their position but me. And they haven't finalized what I'll be doing next year so I can't say I've been offered something else. But EVERYONE KNOWS now that I didn't get either job I applied for. I feel like a total failure. I feel publicly shamed.

All this, and I manged to leave my wallet on the roof of my car and drive off. I was trying to get my child in her car seat and the email announcing the hires had just come out about an hour before and I wasn't thinking straight. So now I get to cancel my cards and try to get a new license etc.

I couldn't write. That's my one escape. My brain just wouldn't do it. So the fact that I managed to post this chapter at all is a testament to my tenacity and my loyal service to the Hannibal fandom and all the beautiful wonderful people that come onto Ao3 and Wattpad and Twitter to encourage me, take time to leave me notes and interact with me. I thought about just scrapping this whole project after 50 chapters, but I won't do that to them.

[tritonposting]

If you don't mind me asking, I'd love to know more about objectum, alterhuman and being apart of a system. I'm kinda new to these terms so I'd love to have them explained to get to know you better!

Thanks so much for asking!! Sorry it took me a bit to answer this, but I was thinking a lot about how best to put all these concepts into words– I think I’ve got some explanations that work, though! If any of it doesn’t make sense, shoot me another ask and I’ll respond as best I can!

Objectum: Also known as “objectum sexuality” or “OS”, this is a term describing those who experience attraction to objects. It’s not inherently a paraphilia or a disorder, as it’s usually used to describe people who want a genuine, devoted romantic relationship with the object/s in question (this is the case for me!). Some common objects of affection for objectum people include computers, plushes, and robots. Given how active I am in the Battlebots fandom, and how enthusiastic I am about Triton… yeah, you can probably put it together XD

Another relevant term here is POSIC, which stands for “Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness”. This term describes people, whether objectum or not, who experience the sentience of objects on some level. Ever sass a printer when it’s not spitting out the paper you wanted? Ever feel guilty over breaking something fragile that you owned? That’s a light form of POSIC! It can stem from all sorts of things, including neurodiversity, trauma, and spiritual factors– I attribute mine to a mix of all three. Of course, like with the softer form common in most people, it can show up just ‘cause! Being POSIC can affect how objectum people experience their attraction to objects; in my case, it helps me determine the personalities and thoughts of certain bots, which plays a part in whether or not I’m attracted to them. However, not all objectum people are POSIC, and not all POSIC people are objectum. Most of my relationships with objects, including bots, are strictly platonic!

Alterhuman: This term describes anyone who doesn’t feel quite human. Sometimes they feel like they are a separate species internally, sometimes they feel they’re multiple other species, and still others feel that they are other species in addition to being human! Alterhumanity is most common among otherkin (mythical animals in human bodies), therians (real-world animals in human bodies), and system members whose self-perception in the brain doesn’t match their body!

I personally perceive myself as a few different species internally, but acknowledge that my physical body is still human (which separates my identity from something like clinical lycanthropy; such delusions can also fall under the alterhuman umbrella if the patient identifies as such). My alterhumanity is mostly spiritual, but there are plenty of psychological alterhumans out there, too!

System: Systemhood, more commonly known as plurality, is the state of having more than one consciousness within one body! Some POSIC people may self-describe as systems due to the way the consciousnesses of the objects around them interact with their own, though not all do.

There are two significant types of systems: traumagenic (DID, OSDD, and any system that was involuntarily formed as a result of traumatic experience/s) and endogenic (tulpas, soulbonds, and any system that was created through conscious effort unrelated to trauma). There is a lot of discourse surrounding the validity of endogenic systems, hence why you see the phrase “endos DNI” sometimes.

As a collective, we’d like to keep our personal origin mostly private, but I’ll say that my state of being POSIC affects how our system has developed. Also, there’s just one member running this blog.

I hope this helped, and that it wasn’t too wordy! -w-