#those years on patrols
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don’t know whether to laugh or cry at your tags 🥲
in my head after the events of camlann merlin returns to camelot and, still riddled with terrible guilt and grief, confesses to leon about everything that had happened and everything he had done, magic and all. and instead of outrage or betrayal or scorn or judgement (or even death, as he had briefly considered) leon shatters him with a deeply apologetic expression and a whispered “my friend… you must have been so afraid, and so tired.” and merlin collapses into heaving sobs against him and doesn’t get back up for a long time.
#it’s so interesting to think that they both sit in that barren silence only thousands of years can build up…#and how Leon’s patience can run thin eventually from being the burnt out shoulder to cry on that Merlin came to rely on so tremendously#‘I’d have long figured out where the string of my immortality ends!’#oh wow#what an incredible line#Leon would find his new purpose in watching over Merlin keeping his sharp gaze attuned on him like a unknowable distaster like he did all#those years on patrols#if he contemplated the real shattering truth of what had happened so many years ago#instead of compartmentalizing it#that string might pull taut#and ever dutiful Leon#would complete the cycle#with a slump in his shoulder and a painfully quiet smile#bbc merlin#so many thoughts#this is such a beautiful headcanon#it’s making my head spin#sir leon#merlin emrys
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no one's saying it, so i have to
SOL WAS SEXY THIS EPISODE. HE WAS IN DISTRESS (sad), AND THEN HE WAS ANGRY (hot), AND THEN HE WAS MYSTERIOUS (lurking in the shadows, switching from the kind and gentle demeanor to stern and serious and with that lower pitched voice)
#master sol#sol the acolyte#sol the jedi#the acolyte#the acolyte spoilers#Y'ALL NEED TO OPEN YOUR EYES THIS MAN IS BEAUTIFUL#he looks so good in those robes too like#the hair and the browns and golds and those incredible eyes and his face#send assistance#i fear i've fallen for another 50 year old#my posts#sol patrol
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Jason: Hey remember when you went by Ric
Dick: Could you NOT
Jason: You were such a-
Dick: Don’t you dare say it
Jason: Dick! *slaps knee* HA!
Dick: *pinching the bridge of his nose* Maybe leave the puns to me, Little Wing
#batman#batman wayne family adventures#jason todd#red hood#batfam#tim drake#dick grayson#jason#red robin#bwfa#free nightwing#nightwing#dick deserves the world#Jason would never let him live this down#it gets brought up at least a few times a year#at the worst of times too#like on patrol when they’re getting their assess handed to them#or at dick’s wedding#Jason purposely picks the worst of times to bring it up#man would bring it up at the birth of dick’s child too#he would sit that kid down and say ‘let your uncle Jason tell you a story about your father chum’#and dick would foam at the mouth#he just wants to forget those days#well at least forget the whole Ric Grayson bit
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thinking abt how isolating dayshift must be, like, no one to banter w over comms, no consistent back up there's so much angst potential here guys
#i have many complicated thoughts abt duke and what it means that hes gothams daytime protector#and like the isolation which kinda suck bcs a major thing abt duke is that he works better in tandum with others#theres some vry niche angst to be had here#like hes already years behind on inside jokes and he doesn’t patrol at night so duke ends up missing out on those too#or having daytime hero specific issues and having no one to relate to#or most of his family working on a sleep schedule completely opposite to his and missing out on interactions#all of this alongside his like themes of lonliness and consistently being the odd one out like damn#the signal#duke thomas#dc comics
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hrrngh… the urge to write tooth-rotting fluff on my dark content blog…. all consuming…
stay in the box- NOO. STAY IN THE BOX— GET OUT OF MY HEAD
#y’all i’ve reached the age where 1st years in shows make me feel so giddy and ‘older sister’ like FUCK#MSKFKSKDKAQ#:(#i jus#i jus.#i#y’all.#imagine being a UA teacher.#getting to chill with all those kool kiddos#IGH.#making aizawa’s life hell cause you spoil them >>>#aizawa in general >>>#but like no.#like y’all don’t understand me#pls omfg.#GUYS. :(#i had a dream i was taking katsuki out on patrol once and he gave me a big smile and i woke up n tears#no ahit#.v speaks#.v’s cheesy
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Violently headcanoning that Laura deliberately antagonized Rita as much as possible after the raid in hopes of getting Rita to follow her to the future.
She knew time travel caused memory loss, and what better way to wipe the slate clean between them? To take away Rita's pain, "fix" her mistake and reforge their relationship by erasing both memories? She knew she wouldn't be able to convince Rita to come with her--Rita was not in a position to listen to Laura after the raid. But she could still leverage Rita's need for vengeance to get her into the time machine. Theoretically it wouldn't matter how badly she provoked Rita if all that malice would be erased in the end.
Laura knew Rita was listening in on her meeting with the Brotherhood, but still willingly divulged her whole "Evil Plan" instead of calling Rita out and having her captured. She wanted Rita to know where and when she was going in the future. And she deliberately went back to the salon before setting off, knowing Rita would be there (where else would she be while lying low after the raid?) to emotionally provoke her in the most brutal way imaginable. It was the best way to ensure that Rita had strong enough emotions towards her to come after her.
They could start over again. Except because it's Doom Patrol, things didn't go exactly to plan 🥲
#doom patrol#headcanon#laura de mille#madame rouge#rita farr#this is the only way Bestie + I could come up with to explain the inexplicably out-of-character salon scene between laura and rita#laura's confession during The Bench Scene in s4 makes her actions in the salon scene so confusing#unless it can be explained as intentional self sabotage for some greater purpose#she even says something like “I would never admit outside this room” OF COURSE because only Rita was ever meant to hear those words#for Reasons :'''')#urg this stupid show STILL has me thinking more than a year later
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not sorry to be getting into this but its wild to me how different the representation in the sandman vs the doom patrol is handled
#twist rambles#yes im back on my i hope gaiman blows up grind. but if u compare coagula and wanda its INSANE with trans rep. esp when u realize the doom#patrol author for those issues was an irl trans activist. and well. gaiman sure did name his trans woman character wanda mann. so. lol.#transmisogyny#<- jic. but it makes me so mad i hope that man blows up every day of my life. like these are from the SAME TIME PERIOD. a year apart for#their intro dates lmao. but yk so many ppl on this site are like omg <3 hiii mr gaiman youre soooo good for the gays!!! <- i hate this man#editing to add that i do NOT think doom patrol is perfect but its handled with more respect imo. esp compared to well. how focused on+#bioessentialism that gaiman is in his writing lmao!!
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y'know what i also really love about season 4 of doom patrol and its swinging back into good writing unlike season 3's latter half?
the biggest problem with season 3's entire rita-goes-back-in-time-amnesia plot was its insistence on overwriting everything that had been established about rita beforehand, bulldozing it into the dust and pretending none of it mattered... Including the very real very strong relationships we've already seen she's formed. But the season-3-amnesia-plot decided the only relationship that truly mattered to rita was the romantic one they tacked on to her in the past, and the history and platonic bond she shared with larry was left by the wayside.
I wanna emphasize this: the strongest, deepest, most loving and heartfelt connection Rita Farr has had with another human being was thrown into the trash, treated as garbage nothingness in comparison to some shallow romance with nowhere near as much time or depth shown to the audience. The show itself, rather than just being a character-specific flaw, touted this idea. Showed no consequences of Rita abandonning all that she was and all that she meant to other people, especially her (pretty much) life-companion Larry.
Season 4 acknowledged it. Season 4 did the bare minimum and showed Larry mention to Rita how he was bothered by her return from the past changing her and how they didn't have that bond anymore. Season 4 went 'ah i see, let's bring this back into a character-thing that works, rather than myopic writing'.
honestly i would have liked Rita and Larry to talk about that more, reinforce the importance of their friendship to the audience, find out where they stand with each other now... but the writing spent its time on other things and that's fine. It's mostly my aromantic heart aching for a continued emphasis on the importance of camaraderie.
#doom patrol#just aro things#honestly#season 4 fixing the bullshit of season 3#right from the getgo#rita and larry's relationship was the main anchor holding them together existence-wise#like... keeping them going all those years at the mansion#grounding and stabilizing them#it is QUINTESSENTIAL to these characters#i'm all for rita finding romance: that was adorable and beautiful#but she can have both#and the writing itself in season 3 rather than it being a char flaw implicitly screamed#that you can't#and that romantic love is more important than platonic#which is fucking disgusting
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even in 1994 in a comic clearly meant to be critiquing corporatization, theyre still out here making comically communist villains. like capitalism is literally the force of evil in this entire story but lets still make an over the top communist villain anyway
#what was that one venom comic that did something similar to this#license to kill or sign of the boss one of those#‘the sick heart of the capitalist west’ IS EVEN MORE TRUE for the 2099 world than the 1970s#(since this guy was in cryofreeze for 135 years and only just woke up in 2099)#like fucking come on man the corporations literally run the police and private militaries#and constantly spy on the people and theres literally no state government anymore bc its all just corporations ruling in their#own corporate city states#and the rich people buy high tech weapons ans go patrol poor areas ans literallt just kill poor people for fun in their free time#like its a capitalist fucking dystopia 😭😭#GIRLIES WE NEED COMMUNISM IN 2099 MORE THAN EVER#brot reads marvel comics#spiderman 2099 (1992) annual 1
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CAR INSPECTION FAILED and honestly its my fault cause i fuceked with the car codes today and didnt give it enought time for it to cycle (they just asked if i had work done on it recently and honestly yes i got the starter replaced lol) but they contributed it to not being cycled to that (whoops)
but they were very nice and told me to drive it around for a week or two and keep the inspection paper on me incase i get pulled over to show them it just needs time to cycle and they said i had to pay today but if i come back to them in 2 weeks to try again they'll give it to me for free. very nice people. also they called me "sir" at the end of the interaction and again it gave me whiplash because i honestly still am confused at how i pass in public but its like actually awesome
#im not worried now. i did all i can today. try again in a week or two and get it for free from the nice fellas that helped me today#i have a paper to help keep me safe incase i get in trouble for it.#they told me if i pay for the renewal late i wont get fined or in trouble unless its like many many months out#and that they'd give me the stickers anyways just late. and to just drive carefully to not give them another excuse#honestly in TX ive seen stickers be out of date for like 5 years which is crazy to me#in NJ if your sticker is out of date by a DAY you get pulled over or fined in a PARKING LOT#those mfers patrol parking lots and slap fines on cars parked with out of date stickers. so ive been anxious about it#but in TX no one cares its so crazy. i know they're even phasing it out soon but like ??? its crazy to me
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I’m sure someone’s already headcannoned this, but Bruce having pet names for the Batkids? Man, those are his babies—you can bet your ass he has pet names for them. He might not be the type of man to show much affection beyond a shoulder pat or the occasional forehead kiss, but he’s determined to parent the crap outta these orphans, and pet names are an easier medium to show that he cares.
Dick is both “chum” and “sweetheart” depending on the context. When Bruce is feeling playful and comfortable (the easy, “your mine and I’m just happy to be here with you” kind of love), he’ll stick with “chum” and Dick absolutely loves it. But when Dick’s sick or has a nightmare or got injured during patrol? It’s sweetheart. It’s default mode for Bruce, because seeing Dick in pain brings up so many raw, intense emotions (Bruce gets scared, goddamit) that it’s easier for him to say “I’ve got you, sweetheart, it’s okay, just keep your eyes on mine,” then it is to say “I’m so terrified that I’m going to loose you, I love you, you’re my everything.”
Jason is“Jaylad.” But it’s less of the name that’s important and more of the story behind it that is. For the first few months that Jason was in Bruce’s care, Bruce didn’t dare call him anything other then his name, in fear that he’d scare him away (he was already so distrusting, so hesitant, so fearful whenever Bruce talked to loud or moved to fast or got upset), but at the same time, he’d seen how pleased Dick had been at being called “chum” and wanted to bestow a similar endearment on Jason. But—he didn’t want to go to far. So instead of calling him “lad” like his own father had once called him, Bruce calls him “Jaylad.” It’s a little more impersonal, but it makes Jason more comfortable. (But when Bruce cradled his son’s broken body he said “no, darling, not you, don’t leave me—” because just how Dick is “sweetheart,” Jason has also always been “darling.”)
For Tim… it’s more complicated. He shoved his way into Bruce’s life and he’s forever grateful, but it wasn’t the same as it was with Jason and Dick. He sees Tim as his son, of course, but their relationship was built on the darkest, most despairing part of Bruce’s life. But even in that terrible season, Bruce would look over at Tim working on a case or cleaning his suit and say, “Good job, sport.” It doesn’t happen often, but Tim is “sport.”
Cassandra is “love.” Bruce has never said it to her, aloud, but he knows Cass can read him well enough to hear the unspoken endearment, to see how much he longs to protect her, bring her joy, fill her heart with all the love she’s filled his with.
Steph is “duck.” And not necessarily because Bruce decided that it was, but because 9 times out of 10 he finds himself screaming, “Robin, get down!” because Stephanie will not for the love of God follow his orders, and end up right in the line of fire. To save time he eventually just started saying “Duck!” It keeps Steph from getting whacked to high heavens and saves Bruce (another) heart attack, but over the years it’s also become somewhat of a ritual to say “duck” whenever Steph walks in the room. Bruce secretly wants to call her “ducky” (which is what his mother called Kate), but he’s never worked up the nerve.
Duke is “kid.” By the time he’s in the family, Bruce has loosened up and lightened up, especially with everyday affection (which is to say, he’s not avoiding it like the plague). He’s quick to say “Good job, kid” whenever Duke had an accomplishment or ask “how are you today, kiddo?” when they see each other in passing in the Batcave.
Damian, lastly, would never allow Bruce to call him anything other then his name. But every once in a while, Bruce can get away with saying “son.” And it’s the best thing in the world.
#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#duke thomas#stephanie brown#batfamily#dc#batman#dc comics#batfamily headcannons#pet names#batfamily pet names#bruce wayne loves his kids
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Always Favors You
Another Sibling Danny and Jason idea!!
"Are you Jason Peter Todd?!" demanded a deep and commanding tone from the strange glowing being in front of them.
All the Bats stiffened and tensed, no doubt gearing up for a fight against the being that somehow knew Red Hood's full name.
Jason, Red Hood, decided to put on a brave front despite no doubt cursing in his head and wondering how the heck did this thing know his full freaking name.
"Whose asking." he snarled out, his hands twitching for his gun when the huge glowing knight with purple flames coming out of his helmet and cape, who was riding on a nightmare looking horse while they all had been in the cave going over tonight's patrol.
The Knight didn't seemed bothered by his response nor did he even seem to care or flinch when Batman made his own demand on 'Why was he there and who was he' or when Damian unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards him. Instead the strange glowing Knight reached to it side and pulled out... A glowing scroll? Huh. (Also he completely unnerved everyone in the room when the Knight didn't even react when Batman had tossed a Baterang when he reached for his side)
The Knight opened the scroll and spoke clearly with purpose.
"Jason Peter Todd,
You are hereby invited as a special guest of honor to the crowning of our future King of the Infinite Realms.
Daniel Phantom, once Daniel Jackson Fenton, and once Daniel Austen Todd.
Prince of the Infinite Realms, the Keeper of Balance, The Peacekeeping Halfa, the Defeater of the Tyrant King Pariah Dark, The Great One, Youngest of the Ancients, Ancient of Space, The Bridge between Life and Death.
You, the half-brother of our King, have been given the highest of honors for your past actions and will be given housing and food in the Realms and Phantom's Keep, for the week long event. Personal servants and attendants will be at your disposal and a seamstress will be on hand to tailor make your attire for the Coronation.
Signed: Clockwork. Ancient of Time. Watcher of the Infinite Timeline. Kronos. Mentor and Adviser.
PS: I shall have Fright Knight ("Me" the Knight bluntly said for a second) leave this scroll along with a personal one for you from Daniel to read over and once you make up your mind sign the bottom of the scroll.
I do hope in time you will pick the right choice Jason Todd, we of the Infinite Realms would like to reward you for your actions. After all, if you hadn't gotten young Daniel away from your father that night all those years ago, we would never had gained our Prince nor be free from our once Tyrant King.
Ah, one more thing.
The Infinite Realms will always favor you Jason."
Jason felt like he couldn't breath as Fright Knight? Rolled up the scroll, pulled a letter from his side, and held out the two items for him to take.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny and Jason are half brothers#Fright Knight#Clockwork mention#Jason saved baby Danny when Willis came home drunk one night and their mom was out of her mind at the moment#Danny had been crying for food and Willis was getting annoyed#Jason managed to run off with baby Danny to a few towns over and put him in a baby box before getting caught a few other towns over by cops#and was shipped back to Gotham#kept his mouth shut about where he put his brother and took any punishment that came afterwords#It set up the timeline where Danny is going to become the Infinite Realms new King#Hence why the kinda sentient Realms 'rewarded' Jason later on when he died aka bringing him back to life#I love the idea of a kinda sentient Realms tbh#it loves Danny because he's been helping rebuild and mend the Realms#Danny is its fav King thus favors those related to him#well everyone but Willis#he's in Walkers prison btw#I want Jason to go tbh and see how every ghost is getting everything ready for the coronation#its chaotic yet organized somehow#I want more Danny's coronation stories#Like I love already King or just finding out Prince Danny but we need more coronation ones tbh
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JOEL MILLER FIC RECS
⇾ 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! ⇽
an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3
Series
— Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...
— I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.
— The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at arm’s length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.
— By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...
— I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?
— If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.
— Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance.
— That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.
One-Shots
— No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joel’s closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.
— White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.
— Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesn’t even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joel’s decided he doesn’t like it.
— Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.
— Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.
— Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
— Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.
— Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.
— Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?
— Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
— Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.
— Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.
— Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.
#joel miller#joel tlou#the last of us#joel miller x reader#joel fanfic#joel miller fanfic#joel miller au#joel miller fic#joel miller oneshot#joel miller smut#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x oc#joel miller angst#joel miller fluff#soft joel miller#joel miller blurb#joel miller masterlist#joel miller series#hbo joel miller#joel miller imagine#game joel miller#joel miller one shot#joel miller self insert
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somewhere only we know - joel miller x female reader
summary: joel has been the only constant in your life since you’ve been at Jackson. But you don’t know if you deserve him despite his persistent efforts.
word count: 3.3k
content warning: emotionally unavailable reader, depiction of readers ptsd, public sex, being caught, raw p in v, tension!!! Age gap implied but unspecified, creampie, exhibitionism, choking, breath play, f orgasm, m orgasm, dom! Joel. Not proof read lol.
an: inspired by the song ‘somewhere only we know,’ by Keane. good to listen to while reading :) @sunshineispunk 🫶🏼
More often than not you’d find yourself in this position, stuck in thought, eyes in an emotionless glare off into the distance as you attempt to escape the reality around you. All of the noise, chattering, even the wind whipping your hair around your face all seemed unnoticed by you.
So much had changed from the previous years, where you struggled to find canned food, living off of very little from foraging. With the group you’d been caught up in, all of the slaughtering, merciless killing of men and women, families. All for a torn up jacket, or a can of two decade old beans.
There was blood on your hands, so much of it, even if you werent the one to pull the trigger, or plunge the knife deep into someone's flesh and bone. The blood and bodies accumulated, so did the guilt.
Being in Jackson felt wrong for many reasons, you were a deplorable human, yet you were living now–lavishly. Electricity, hot showers, warm clothes and a full stomach. Hell, even a giant christmas tree in the centre of the civilised town.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
What about those people that died? Their children, the women, the men. Good people.
Jackson winters are harsher than any you’d ever endured, the wind swirls around the snow jacket and penetrates your skin, landing on your skin and spreading like an infection. Your hands are freezing, fingertips red from being exposed.
He always knew where to find you, how much you torture yourself with guilt. He offered the hand that wiped your tears, the ear that listened to you as you sobbed into his chest. The heart that offered a home for you. Somewhere only you knew. Offering you a haven within him that he had opened for you alone. It was simple, really.
That was the worst part, that he had willingly opened his door, his arms, given you his heart on a silver platter. Falling for a man that tried, that gave you all he had. He could just as easily pull it all out from underneath you.
His multitude attempts of courting you, asking you to be his girl–all gone unanswered or denied. So he stopped asking, knowing that when the time was right you’d come to him.
Joel was aging, he would take any minute he could to spend with you unknowing of what day would end everything. The risk climbs with each patrol.
He knows where you’ll be, by the back of the stables, watching the horses as they play in the snow that had fallen on the ground over the past week. The snow surrenders under his feet, walking the pathway to you he knew like the back of his hand.
With the softest voice he could muster, he attempts not to startle you. “Hey.” He leans on the fence beside you, his elbow barely grazes your own. “Everythin’ okay? You've been here a while, ain’cha?”
It stings, to turn and look at him. The muscles in your neck seem frozen as you manage a small smile, realising that you've been leaning against the wooden fence for a while, the sky is thick and dark with snowcloud. Snowflakes fall around the two of you.
“Just thinkin’,” you clear your throat and manage to choke out. Inhaling sharply, you wiggle your nose in an attempt to clear the mucus from your cold nose.
Turning to face you, he knows what's going on within you, although the two of you weren't exclusive, he knew what the two of you shared. Something that felt so fragile in moments like this. He hums, gravelly noise cuts through the wind.
In a swift pivot, he's turning to face you, his gloved hands delicately brush the hair from your vision. “What is it?”
“Everything,” You're barely able to look at him, managing a quick sideways glance. The last thing you wanted right now was to start breaking down. Moments of you opening up were sparse, and Joel knew now was not one of those times.
He had to treat carefully, nursing your emotions delicately so you wouldn’t back away, start rebuilding your walls he had carefully and pliantly plucked one by one. To get here, where the two of you were, had taken months.
Dropping his hand to cradle your stiff neck, with gentle encouragement manages to coax you to face him, a gloved thumb caresses your cold cheeks. “Everything’s a lot to be thinkin’ about.” He utters in thought, “wanna tell me about it?”
Conflicting, the ache in your chest. Guilt. The urge to blurt it all out in one ugly, uttering cry, as if it were some dirty confession. “Not particularly.”
His brows furrowing were a response of disappointment, knowing that if he weren't careful you would brazenly resort back to isolating yourself. “You know how much I care about you.” Preferring a statement, a confession, it left no room for you to start questioning yourself.
“I know.” Part of you cracks a tight lipped smile.
The forced smile doesn't appease Joel, his own lips tight, hand curling around your jaw to look at him. Things seemed particularly bad today, he recognised. “Stop lyin’ to yourself an’ me, tell me the truth.” the attempt to coax you failed, with you pulling away from the gentle grasp on your cheek.
As you pull away from Joel's touch, your skin feels cold. All of you feel cold. It felt so wrong to pull away from him, but to confront the fiery flames of truth–you would bear the cold.
His hand falls to his side, the ever tugging frown on his features deepens as you pull away from him. Refusing any comfort he offers, a noticeable feat between you. The exhausted expression on your face, eyes weary, and now defeated silence.
But Joel had questions, something he desperately needed an answer to. “Are you happy?”
It was a loaded question, confronting. Are you happy here. With him. With your life. You can’t manage to decipher which one of those probabilities he wants answered. So it seems impossible to come up with an answer that was acceptable. “What do you want me to say Joel, that I’m thriving?”
Of course you resort to lashing out. “I want the truth,” his eyes take you in, the way you stiffen as he refused to be spooked by your natural act of stoicism. He shifts on his feet, you bet the cold is starting to take a toll on his aching joints.
The silence had become unbearable. “I'm miserable, Joel.”
“What is it that’s makin’ you miserable–”
With a stern warning, you interrupt him. “Don't go there.”
Each emotion you felt in this moment, guarded but vulnerable to him. He knew what was causing this turmoil. Him. your feelings for him.
“It’s me.” He utters matter of factly between you, looking over the fence as the horses whine and run inside the stable as the snowflakes start to fall faster. His hand contemplates holding your hand, realising that they are bare. Deciding against it, he pulls off his own gloves, sliding them onto your own.
“You ain’t happy because of me.” his bare fingers run through the hair at the back of his head and rub his neck as he exhales deeply.
Fixing the warm gloves on your fingers, it feels like you’re getting some much needed circulation. “It ain't like that.”
He was trying to give you the flexibility to open up to him at your own accord, but he's beginning to hurt, wondering if his love will be unacquainted until he’s buried beneath the soil, if your hand would be the one to push him in with an unwelcome gaze.”Then tell me what it’s like..” he pushes again.
All he wanted was for you to drop the veil, to reach forward and bring you to his chest and remind you that he was here, always had been.
“I need to learn to live without you.”
You can't swallow the shocked expression on his face, now bare fingers clutching onto the fence, the warmth of his palm melting the snowflakes that had fallen there. “You think I wouldn't miss you if you just walked away from this?”
“Don’t,” you plead, he was breaking your guard down.
Vulnerability and desperation roll of his tongue in a firm utterance. “I would.”
Deciding against what your reaction might be, he reaches out and takes a hold of your hands, thumb rubbing against the leather in an attempt to soothe you, to calm you before you could flee.
“I go on missin’ you as it is. You go on days without lettin’ me in. I can't stand it, everyday i don't see you is hell knowing you’re right there an’ dont wanna see me. Knowin’ you don't wanna be mine.”
Pulling away from his grip again, you step away from the fence, fleeing. “Don’t. Don’t fucking do this to me.”
With one long stride forward he's snatching your wrist, turning you back around to face him. God dammit, he was trying. He wanted to be everything you need. If you would just let him in.
He growls at the realisation. “Don’t what, huh? Say how I feel because you won't.”
“I’m fucked up!” You shout, emotion thick in your throat, unable to pull away from his vice like grip.
There's a tremble in his voice, a swirling mix of despair and desperation. “I’m tryin’ to be here.”
A bitter scoff rolls off your tongue, “that doesn’t fix anything!”
His chest heaves, up and down repeatedly until he finds the words to say. All of the pent up emotions he has toward you all rising to the surface. “Then what will?”
“You can't fix me.”
He drops your hand, “bullshit.” That was something he couldn't handle hearing, he was good at fixing things, repairing, protecting. The thought that you were a lost cause was as good as enough for his chest to begin constricting.
His fingers are succumbing to the exposed cold, tips of his fingers are cold on your cheeks, cradling your delicately compared to the ruthless things he had done with them.
Taken lives, stolen, abused substances, relieved himself, all with anger, all without meaning. But you–holding you was something he wanted to do right. He would do right. There was no room for mistakes. “I need to fix this..” the whisper is so quiet it's almost swept away in the wind.
It felt like a slap to the face when you pull away from his hands, the shared warmth from skin to skin was ripped away as you step backward.
That's all you knew how to do, retreat.
“You’re still pushin’ me away. Tell me when you’re gonna let me in,” the bitter edge was a clear indicator of the pain and disappointment he was feeling.
“The last thing I need is to trust you! Then what? You turn around with my heart in your hands and stomp over it?”
There it was, whether you realised what had slipped past your lips. Your greatest fear. Abandonment.
For a brief moment Joel hates that you distrust him after all he has done for you, proving time and time again that he would do anything for you. But it's quickly swept away by the realisation that you’d unclogged the blockage that kept him at arm's length. “How..” he pauses, realising he has one shot at this.
“What can I do, to prove that I ain’t ever gonna hurt you?” Of course, of course he looked absolutely torn, his throat bobs up and down as he swallows nervously.
The fact that you were still standing before him was a good sign. “How can I trust this is real?”
“Because I love you. I’m gettin’ old an’ I need somethin’ to rely on.” his hazel eyes softened with the admission, searching your face for any sign that you felt the same way. That you wouldn’t tear his heart open here and toss it to the snow, letting it freeze over once again as it had been before he met you.
He couldn't bear to go back to that, the loneliness, lack of heart and purpose.
There's a million thoughts running through your head, begging for your tongue and voice to cooperate, to blurt out somehow that you love him too.
His eyes continue searching your face at your silence, hoping to find any glimpse that you felt the same way. “Nothin’ to say then?” His heart ached, tone bitter.
This could be the end of everything.
In this moment of utter vulnerability, there are no words you can find to pluck from your throat, barely registering that you’re reaching up to grasp his face with both hands, pulling his head down to meet your own cracked, wind burnt in a soft kiss, lips brushing against each other.
For the short moment they are pressed together, you feel them warm against his, your heart races in reaction to the bold display.
“I.. I love you too,” you whisper thickly once you part from his lips, praying it wasn't too late. Foreheads pressed together, this is what Joel had been dreaming of, a simple act that had made his heart race, relief sparking each vein in his body.
“Oh.. baby..” he whispers, his own hands grasp your hips, grounding himself. Holding onto something to convince him this was real.
But at this innocent gesture, a small breathless moan rattles through his brain.
God.. the thoughts he had about you.
He stutters, “baby.. d-don't do that. You have no idea what it does to me. Tryin’ to be good to ya.”
Running the risk of taking things too far, you kiss him again, this time more desperately, seeking the validation and love Joel had always devoted to you, a newcome hunger growing within you. Your lips clash against his own, and you moan into the kiss, your hands roaming through his hair as you grasp onto the soft, overgrown follicles.
The both of you get carried away, both touch starved and seeking physical affection after having tension brewing thickly for months. Your hands find solace in the softness of joel's hair.
He cannot keep his hands on your hips, greedily giving in to your willingness to reciprocate his affections. Tracing the curve of your ribs to your hips, memorising each curve and dip. The way your body squirms closer into his chest as his revenant exploration of your body makes you whine into his mouth.
Deepening the kiss, his tongue wrestles with your own. Finding a rhythm that the two of you manage for a desperate long minute. His hands are groping the curve of your ass desperately through your jeans, whinging when he pulls you closer to him, the hard bulge in his jeans rub against your mound.
“Joel..” you whine, breaking away from him, his own hazel eyes blown out from the fiery kiss. Your lips are moist with a mix of his and your own saliva. Chests heaving in sync as the tension between you expands into something that cannot be contained another moment.
Without another word your gloved hands are attempting to unbutton his jeans, with much difficulty. Frustration wears your short fuse and you tear them off your hands, unbuttoning and yanking down Joel's zipper.
“I ain’t lettin’ you go, baby.” He utters as his hands work quick to tear your own jeans, pulling them down until they reveal your ass, getting stuck mid-thigh. He lets out a deep grumble at the sight of you, bare ass and pussy all for him.
“We’re in the middle of town, dirty fuckin’ girl.” He scolds breathlessly against your neck, his hands commanding you flush against his chest, holding your wrists together with one hand.
Bending yourself forward a fraction, you whine, feeling his hard cock spring against your bare ass. “Let them see.”
Closing his eyes for a moment in an attempt to ground himself, convince himself this was a bad idea, the rational part of him loses the internal battle. “Fuck you’re gonna be the death of me, you and this pretty pussy,” his voice husk with need.
With his free hand, he positions himself at your hole, damp and warm. A wonderful contrast to the rest of him that's freezing as you stand in the mild snowfall. Your hole opens up for him with no protest, his thick tip pushes into you with carnal need.
His hand frees your wrists, grabbing onto your waist, his thick fingers curling around the skin of your hips. “Made f’me baby.. fuckin’ hell.”
There's a slight sting as you adjust to his girth, but he can't hold himself back, bottoming out in your warmth, grunting into the nape of your neck, leaving an opened mouth kiss.
The pace he sets is relentless, ploughing into your willing hole that slicks more with each thrust. His cock is coated in your arousal, nevermind how loud you are as he pumps into you. Not bothering to try and be subtle, uncaring of the straggling townsfolk of Jackson on the other side of the barn that are entering the hall for lunch.
“You’re gonna.... get us caught baby..” he ruts into you desperately as he utters his concern. Pressing his chest against your back, unable to pull away from you.
“Don’t care,” you manage to choke out incoherently, your hole clenched around him. Theres a warmth in your stomach, feeling the pressure build as he fucks into you like his life depended on it.
With one hand, he forces his hand under your chin, grasping onto your throat, fingers squeezing the sides lightly. Applying enough pressure to make your eyes roll, a soft moan of surprise and lightheadedness equals the raw pleasure of the pad of his pointer finger rolling around on your swollen clit.
“You wanna get caught like this hm? Sweet girl getting fucked by an old man, what would they think of you, hm?”
The thought makes your stomach twist, attempting to close your thighs to stop his hand from swirling softly against the wet bundle of nerves.
He tuts, “uh uh, this is what you wanted, wasn't it? You’re gonna cum for me, baby.”
Throwing your head back, he applies a fraction more pressure to your neck and you cry out with a crack in your voice, spiralling as your hips rut against his hand. Legs and hips unwillingly jerk as you orgasm. His muffled voice is runging in your ear as Joel continues to fuck you through your intense climax.
“Atta girl, so good f’me.”
He releases the grip on your neck and snakes his hands underneath your jacket, the warmth of your skin underneath his desperate fingers.
There’s some distant muttering you don't understand, too overstimulated and crying from still taking Joel’s cock as deep as he can bury himself inside of you.
He gropes your tits harshly, crossing his arms around you as he forces you down onto him, taking his thick cock as he bottoms out, his cock twitching as he fills you with his warm load. Turning your head to kiss him as he cums, you moan into his mouth.
“Oh my god–that is them, Joel and–” the voices utter your name and you tune in as you hear your name being spoken from a distance, hearing slowly returning. Your cheeks warm as you realise that someone has indeed caught the two of you in the middle of town.
Joel slides his hands from underneath your shirt, covering you the best he can. “You gonna stand there creepin’ or y’all gonna move the fuck along?” He snaps in irritation at the invasive eyes.
With a whimper, he pulls out of you. Both of you slide your jeans up. He turns you to look at him, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
There’s an expression of vulnerability plastered on his face. “No more runnin’.”
Hopelessly, you nod. “Can we go back to yours?”
With a possessive swat of your ass, he hums. “Our place.” He corrects.
Is this the place you’ve been dreaming of?
#joel miller#game joel miller#game joel#the last of us#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller x female reader#joel miller tlou#joel miller angst
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people are mean to spectacle "justifiably" now (imo. most disneymarvel shit isn't even "spectacle" because it is so insincere and lacking & also boring) but people have genuinely always, from day one, called tfatf stupid. well I stand with my stupid girl 🫡
#it's panamericeuroasia co-production action movie trash in a rumble in the bronx wrestling capacity#“how do they keep pumping them out”#11 movies in 22 years and they all have different vintages&vibes. lets study the last two decades using them as a lens.#compare and contrast with marvel and their 30 movies in 13 years#and their 27 tv shows (only including actual mcu movies not things like the spiderman/venom/deadpool stuff. also not including dc tv#shows like gotham doom patrol swamp thing (hiiii james wan from furious 7) watchmen preacher lucifer etc etc)#in those same 13 years. not the same but i also stand with jason x and american#psycho 2 and wes cravens new nightmare. lowmidbudget trash with a lack of oversight and some leeway.#just because someone wanted to remake point break with cars................#oh wait anyone down her. worst “ownage” of the state of cinema ivd seen is someone joking about there being a riddick 9.#sweetheart nobody has talked about the chornicles of riddick in 15 years. grandpa i would love if they made a riddick 9.#tfatf fan persecution complex tag
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never ending night
bruce wayne x femwife!reader
word count: 1.7k | divider by @saradika | requests are open!
CW: pregnancy, pure fluff NOTES: hello hi i’m ailís and i’ve been meaning to start a blog where i can post some one shots that i’ve been thinking of as a way to motivate myself to finally write down my ideas so this is it. i’ll be double posting my stuff on ao3 (which you can find in my bio) and will eventually make a masterlist as well as a navigation post with a list of fandoms/characters i write for. also, english isn’t my first language.
It was close to three in the morning when Bruce finally joined you in bed after a long night of patrolling and fighting bottom of the barrel criminals all night. He showered in the bathroom on the first floor of the manor to avoid making too much noise and waking you up, but when he finally walked in your shared bedroom, you were already awake, sitting up against the headboard.
“Darling, what are you doing still up?” Bruce asked you as he reached his side of the bed.
The room was dark par for the moonlight filtering through the gap between the curtains, meaning your husband had yet to notice the state you were in.
“Dick had a nightmare,” you answered, voice barely above a whisper due to how tired you were. “It took me two hours to get him to fall back asleep and when I finally came back here, this little one started kickboxing me and keeping me awake for another hour,” you continued rubbing your round belly in hopes of soothing your baby to finally catch some sleep.
“I’m sorry I wasn't here to help,” Bruce apologised, planting a kiss on your temple as he held you close to his body.
“It’s alright, Gotham needs you,” you dismissed, not at all angry.
“Still, you’re six months pregnant. You’re growing our child inside your body, you need all the rest you can get,” he softly argued. “I would've come home earlier but all the amateur criminals came out tonight.”
“Bruce, it’s fine,” you brought your hand up to his cheek and he leaned his head into your touch. “You’ve already been cutting your patrols shorter since we found out about the baby. As long as you keep coming back home to us, alive, then I’m not mad.”
Not knowing what to say – his gratefulness for having someone so accepting of his duty as Batman was almost overwhelming, even after all those years – Bruce kissed your palm while staring at you with the same look full of love that he has been sporting since the first time he met you six years ago.
“How’d I get so lucky to fall in love with the most understanding and selfless person I know?” He asked while grabbing your hand on his cheek, wrapping his fingers around yours and squeezing them gently.
“Now that’s a lie,” you rebutted, a loving smile on your lips, lowering your joined hands on the bed. “You’re more selfless than I am. You’re the most selfless man in the world.”
“Let’s not start this never ending argument again,” Bruce chuckled, now his turn to hold your face as he brought you in for a kiss.
You happily sighed against his lips, the feeling of home that overtook you every time you tasted them was a nice welcome in this interminable night. But the kiss was cut short as you felt your baby kick again and you let your head fall back as you groaned.
“She’s still kicking?” Bruce asked you, he couldn't see the movements under your skin due to the darkness of the room and your hand on your belly.
“We don't know it's a she,” you reminded him instead of answering. You had both decided to wait until the birth to know the gender.
“And I’m telling you, I know it's a girl,” your husband repeated for what could be the hundredth time.
You also secretly hoped it was a girl, but Dick really wanted a little brother. Bruce and you were still in the process of warming him up to the idea of a little sister and it was slowly starting to work.
“As long as she doesn't come in my room,” your eight year old son had said last week, with his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips.
“I doubt she’ll be doing that for the first few years, chum,” Bruce reassured him, fighting off a slightly amused grin.
“And the baby will have its own room with its own toys,” you added.
“Will I still be able to play with the baby?” Dick asked after a moment, uncrossing his arms and a hopeful look filling up his blue eyes.
“Of course you will, bubs,” you said, your fingers threading through his black hair that fell over his forehead.
“But only with her toys at first, some of yours are not suited for a baby,” Bruce pointed out, ever the overprotective father.
Bruce had lowered himself down under the blanket so he could be laying head levelled with your belly, his hand now replacing yours over the bump.
“Hey trouble,” he whispered to your child and the baby kicked again, making him smile lovingly at the movement he felt under his hand. “You shouldn't be awake this late at night, you know.”
“You're one to talk,” you commented, tone almost reprimanding.
“She doesn't know that,” Bruce looked up at you as he defended himself before his gaze fell back on your belly. “Mommy is really tired,” he continued talking to your baby, his hand now rubbing soothingly over your round stomach, “and she needs her rest to do all the work so you can come out all healthy and beautiful. Well, you're definitely gonna be the most beautiful baby if you end up looking like your mother, but that's not the point.”
You smiled at the cheesy comment and your fingers found their place in Bruce’s hair, brushing through it and nails occasionally scratching his scalp.
“Your brother Dick can't wait for you to come around,” he carried on. “Said he will teach you all sorts of acrobatic tricks once you know how to walk. And he asked Alfred if he could help paint the nursery when we finally decide on a colour.”
“And I keep telling you we should do soft green,” you argued.
“I’m not changing my mind from primrose pink,” he told you with a sly grin.
“The room won’t be pink, even if it’s a girl. And that’s final,” you firmly said. Your husband will not be winning this one argument, no sir.
Bruce sighed, rolling his eyes before focusing back on your belly. “I hope you’re not as stubborn as your mother,” he whispered to the baby, as if he was having a private conversation with them and that you weren’t there. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with her, but I won’t be able to say no to you even when I have to, so it would save me a lot of reprimanding from Mommy if you’re not as tenacious as her.”
You smiled to yourself as you continued listening to your husband talk to your unborn child as you threaded your fingers through his hair, enjoying the softness it had after a shower. Bruce usually gelled his hair to appear more professional when he was working in the day, and then it would get all mixed up with his sweat under his cowl when he was working as Batman. When he would come back to you after the day was over, you would refuse to touch his hair until he had showered, the texture of the gel and sweat too gross on your fingers for you to ignore.
As Bruce continued talking to your baby, his voice started lulling the two of you to sleep. The baby hadn’t kicked in over almost ten minutes now, and the peace you had waited for so long to arrive made you aware of how heavy your eyelids were. You slowly lowered yourself down the bed, getting in a comfortable position with Bruce’s help where you could finally lay your head on your pillow and it didn’t take long for sleep to catch up on you.
At the sound of your soft, barely audible snores, Bruce turned his head away from your bump to find you asleep with your free hand raised next to your head on your pillow, the other one still tangled in his hair.
He planted a soft kiss on the exposed skin of your belly, eyes closed as he took a moment to absorb the fact that a baby that was half you and half him would be joining your world in a little more than three months. Bruce wasn't known to cry, the only time you ever saw him cry was as you walked down the aisle at your wedding, but tonight, a lonesome tear rolled down his cheek and fell on your stomach, where your child was growing, because Bruce never believed he would ever get to experience again the amount of love he hadn't felt since he was eight years old.
As he observed you, sleeping soundly with his child coming to life inside you, after you comforted Dick back to sleep, Bruce, for a moment, felt overwhelmed by all the love in his life. When he became Batman, he crossed out the idea of ever having a family (other than Alfred), of settling down with someone he loved and who loved him back.
But somehow, the universe put you on his path, as a miracle or a guardian angel or simply as an anchor to life outside of Batman, he didn't know. You walked into his home, into his life, to remind him that he, Bruce Wayne, was also deserving of love, of family, of happiness. Then Dick came along, rather unexpectedly but still no less welcomed, and Bruce started entertaining the idea of having children with you. He definitely wasn't opposed to it, but it wasn't something he wanted to jump right into, especially with Dick having just entered your lives. You were both young, he in his early thirties and you in your late twenties, you could allow yourselves a couple of years just the three of you (four with Alfred) before expanding the family.
So it was rather shocking when two months after you and Bruce had officially adopted Dick that you found out you were pregnant. It both took you by surprise but after talking through it together, you couldn't be happier. And the two of you haven't stopped being happy about this new little addition ever since.
Bruce rose up from his position next to your belly, your limp hand fell from his head as he did so, and he laid on the bed next to you. He delicately kissed your forehead, then your nose before falling back on his pillow and whispered “I love you” as he curled around your body, his hand resting on your belly as he fell asleep.
#ailis writes#requests are open#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x fem!reader#bruce wayne x wife!reader#bruce wayne x you#batman#batman x reader#batman x fem!reader#batman x wife!reader#batman comics#christian bale batman#battinson#bruce wayne fic#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne fanfiction#bruce wayne fluff#batman x y/n#batman imagine#batman fic#batman fanfiction#batman fluff#batmom#reader insert#x reader#fem reader
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