#those words means everything to me

[sweetdispatch]

Stooop you’re cute!!!🥹💕

Congratulations on graduating and I’m proud of you finishing Quinn!! I think the best thing about publishing online is that we can be anonymous fan at the same time :-)

who knows your writing might blow up😘

i woke up to this message and i'm in tears now

thank you so much!!!! and yeah, best part is to be anonymous fans and have fun with that, about my writing - i don't giving myself a big hopes to "blow up", if only one person will read it, i would be thankful for that!

we'll see later about that because i think i'm gonna share the quinn's fic here and work on my three piece fic with johnny because he doesn't get much love here

[hinamie]

i mean he's got all the outfits now might as well show them off

bonus:

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[rachiebeee]

they are best friends and siblings and i love them both so dearly. featuring piercings bc i stand strong in my belief that they would

[sableeira]

there is something about magic systems that borrow from a specific craft that makes them so special. Maybe it’s because they feel more tangible and it’s very easy to get swept away by the passion for the craft that is clearly written on every page.

Whether it’s the art based magic system in Witch Hat Atelier. Or the translation based magic system in Babel. Or the alchemy/chemistry based magic system in Fullmetal Alchemist.

The relation to a specific craft makes the characters passion for their magic feel so personal and relatable. Because there is magic in art, in translation, in chemistry and any other craft that people partake in. The magic system becomes a love letter towards creation and everyone who creates and there is nothing world building wise that could be more charming.

[arthursfuckinghat]

There needs to be a scientific study done on how Rockstar Games' Arthur Morgan is able to provoke the most earth shattering emotions I didn't even know I had in me

[onpie]

Noodles and Tea’s work inspired me fr

[felassan]

.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

here together

[andraedevane]

Love how some villains say to the hero "I want to destroy/kill you" (or at least think about hurting the hero) and then when they are redeemed they say (or think) "If anyone dared to hurt you, I will destroy/kill them"

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶

First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.

As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.

Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.

Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.

This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!

But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.

At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.

So, what can you expect in the near future?

I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.

Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕

[lady-dulcinea]

Jessica De Gouw as Mina Murray from the 2013 NBC series Dracula

[palaceoftears]

Mahi thinking about how forming a family outside the palace would be :c and Gulsah not being capable of letting go💔. They hsve been together for 10 years after all, she doesn't know better than serving her, Mahidevran IS her family as much as Suleyman and the rest is it for Mahi, and so that's why both master and servant were ready to do anything to keep their beloved ones, which only turned to divide them even more after their actions threatened not only a rival, but also the familiar in question (Mahi putting poison on Suleyman's table, Gulsah risking Mahidevran's position by attacking Gulnihal). The two of them also overstep their respective positions by doing so. Mahidevran, a concubine, requires from Suleyman the loyalty he should have for a wife, Gulsah wants to be valuable for Mahi but also to make decisions for both or them, equaling her humilliation to her sultana's when she's just her servant (maybe she also sees herself as Mahidevran's wife 👀, this dialogue is kind of confirming that atp she can't see herself as someone else's soo). And Mustafa works as some type of union between both Suly-Mahi & Mahi-Gulsah, ofc he's an stronger one for the first pair, he's their son, but I think his care for Gulsah recovering may also have influenced Mahidevran giving her other chance, she's been shown to be a second (or third, shall we make ibro and gulsah compete for the role?) mother for him after all, in certain way that makes all of them family too.

There's also the fact that Gulsah is someone her sultana can rely on, the only one that she could truly trust for so many time, she knows every little facet of hers and I think in a palace where you have to always put a facade on, it must be a relief. That's why this just comes as a sincere wish from Mahidevran (in contrast to later, when she just wants to get rid of her servant by marrying her off), for Gulsah to escape what she can't, and it parallels her letting go off Nergissah, only that this time she accepts Gulsah's useful loyalty and keeps her at her service, while in s4 she reachs that selfless stage for which she can actually send her closest ones away. Same that she wanted to do to the only one that serves her at that point, Fidan, even if the later refuses (and Fidan is another old woman so there's not many chances for her, similar to Sumbul/Hurrem but even w less posibilities since she's as poor as Mahi). But what both scenes share is Mahidevran's idea of family as a salvation from sorrow, a new start that she can't give to neither Gulsah or Nergissah and Fidan.

During e25 Mahi herself is trapped in a situation she can't do much against, only staying patient untill she explodes later in the season, while, after Mustafa's death, she's already experienced the happiness of the new start of a family, her granddaughter being all it's left from it... An orphan, in the "spring of her youth", sent to an unknown powerful future husband, whose child she could name Mustafa. It is a little similar to Mahidevran's own story, to the untold part of it and what we know of her before Suleyman's accession to the throne, that she took refuge in his love, they became a family, possibly the reason for her to begin again and never mention her past out loud (and seemingly not even remembering it). And with a new family it comes a new identity, makes a lot of sense Nur refers to Suleyman as a paternal figure for Mahidevran, he's the patriarch of the new household she goes to after all, he gives her life a new meaning, she's his "spring rose"/gulbahar and everything she does has to please him (he even says he's "proud" of her when she gives birth to Mustafa). It caught my attention that, as much as she takes on a maternal role during all of Nergissah's life, she also shows a little bit of that side to Gulsah here, who also shapes her identity in relation to Mahi, dedicating her life to make her happy and proud (and, like Plami pointed out here, Gulsah's name meaning forecasts her ambition for more while ties her all the most to her master). For both women, the struggle is they can't make more mistakes since the families they belong to could discard them (Mahi can send Gulsah outside, she sent her to Edirne once, same place Suleyman warns he could exile his haseki to in e23) but can't truly adapt to the new situation either, what they consider their home it's very unstable and it's doomed to break. As a result, Gulsah will eventually change sides and Mahidevran will redirect her efforts to Mustafa, they're going to become traitors, with the difference Mahi will have the opportunity to begin again far from Topkapi, to form another family with her son, even if once again it will prove to be unstable (tho this time not for internal factors between them, but for external ones).

In certain way, Mahidevran is a nomad through all the series, from an unknown place in the past before she was an slave, to wherever she may have gone to be educated, to Manisa's palace, to Topkapi, to Edirne, Topkapi again, Manisa again, to Amasya and later Bursa. And what's important about that for this post is that everytime she tasted the peace and happiness of family she had to lose it, being it via Suleyman falling out of love with her, the sudden deaths of baby Suleyman, Fatma hatun & Ibrahim pasha or by how the Amasya fam was murdered. She could never rely on the security and the simpleness of the family lives she describes to Gulsah and Nergissah. By the end of the show Mahidevran is symbolically an orphan not only of the parents we don't know, also of the men that gave different meanings to her life inside the system, Suleyman and Mustafa. Still, a little bit of her hope survives with Nergissah escaping this life full of suffering and I find it poetic and very telling that, while we see the damage the succession wars are bringing and Suleyman's obsession for loyalty, Mahi is ready to give up all she has (even if little, but she transfers the servants that remain with her to her granddaughter) for Nergissah to find peace in a new home.

[lesbianfakir]

Is there like a thing. For being a lesbian but being attracted to fictional men. Certain fictional men are so lovely in theory and they have all the qualities id be attracted to in a partner but then thinking about dating a real man? Yuck yuck yuck no thank you. Perhaps I need to change my url to repressedbisexualfakir

[wildsaltair]

get you a man who can do both

[ragdollic]

It's always a "let me know if you need anything" until I try to tell them to not misuse the word delusional and then I feel like they're suddenly acting off to me specifically and fully expect them to avoid me and that in turn causes my symptoms of paranoia to act up which answers my previous "I'm pretty sure this word *probably* doesn't apply to me, I don't know. Does it affect me? I dunno, probably doesn't directly affect me right? But even if it doesn't, I need to try to correct them and pray they listen and take me seriously"

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)