#those edits tho!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[sopuu]

my friends and i watched the parkour movies in one sitting-

[yangjeongin]

STRAY KIDS | "ATE" TEASER IMAGES🦷

[yumenosakiacademy]

[scienceismygirlfriend]

who is your oldest blorbo, by which i mean: which of your blorbos was created the longest time ago? mine's probably archie goodwin (1934)

[marauders-bs]

"Jesus Christ," Evan muttered to himself. "Okay, who broke the lamp? Be honest, you five."

Kay Rosier-Crouch stood, eyes wide, beside her cousins Luna and Ascella and a broken lamp. Estrella and Cherie Potter-Black stood guiltily behind Kay as though the twins were attempting to hide.

"Honesty is the best policy," Lily tried when no one spoke up. "We won't be mad if you're honest."

"Oh, okay," Cherie said, looking relieved. "All the time?"

"All the time," James agreed, looking at his daughter.

"Uncle Barty taught me the word fuck because I asked him to," Ascella blurted from the corner.

Absolute, dead silence rung throughout the room. Evan knew Pandora had the most pissed off expression and really, really did not want to look.

"Aunt Andromeda is my favorite," Estrella said.

"Last year I snuck onto the Hogwarts Express to see Bianca and lied to you about it, and her dads knew."

Regulus looked like he was trying not to immediately Apparate to his brother's house in a fit of fury at Cherie's words.

"We use your Netflix account," Luna told Evan. "You should really change your password, you know."

"I don't even care who broke the lamp anymore," Pandora said. "I just need a drink."

Regulus stood up, sweeping Cherie into his arms. "Yeah, I'm going with you."

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price in a dress - performing for the troops circa 1943.

[sorryiliketoscreenshot]

"By the way... I always leave an emergency exit in my programs... You never know..."

[jesuis-assez]

THE ROOKIE •── humorous moments [13\?]

Pt . 12 [x]

[viyojo]

Hello!! I haven't been very active on my accounts, but I am participating in a donation-for-doodles event this weekend! Donate to a fundraiser and a group of artists will draw for you!

You can join the discord to learn more and make your requests! This is open until the 14th! so this weekend!

[containyourfavoritecharacter]

hunter owl house. particularly, @for-those-who-wait's blorbo hunter.

Blorbo Hunter has been contained in the backrooms!

[sysig]

Two skeletons in a trench lab coat (Patreon)

Bonus:

He’s very careful! Everything was fine before you interrupted!

[rcbertleckie]

leckie + smiles — for anon

[thlassicalamity]

i started collecting text posts i thought were wangxian core bfore I even actually read mdzs and then came back and edited them onto some for fun after and. I think I’m very funny. so I’m sharing the wealth

[milkbreadtoast]

**I am talking about exactly no one but myself