#those are your hints

[the-bat-bros]

Bruce wdym you don’t want your girlfriend bonding with your kids how else is she supposed to integrate into the family?

From the latest update of Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoons

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[sweeneydino]

Knight.

When your kids go missing, you'll be tearing up the whole multiverse to find them. Right after you prepare yourself ofc.

First Dad up, Next will be the one in red, then purple and orange. Why? Cause Usagi gets a special treatment. U.U

Would you all like it if usagi had just a small army of dragons or became one? I'm personally leaning towards the former cause I think it'd be badass.

Size reference ^^^ I hate keeping consistent sizes as much as I hate doing perspectives and backgrounds-

[cupcakeslushie]

I’m thinking about pulling some real confusing ass shit. I honestly don’t know how you guys stand me.

I did eet

[tofixtheshadows]

I see a lot of people headcanoning that Marcille and Kabru will become friends postcanon over a shared love of gossip, but to me the biggest thing they have in common is that they're both deeply concerned with the inequality between the races.

I think before anything else, as the two people closest to the throne, they'll probably end up banding together over their shared desire to fix the divide between the races. Marcille has to give up on her dream of magically changing humanity, but she can help Laios achieve it Kabru's way, through political and social change.

[freakbullet]

cant believe when im consuming deltarune theories i have to sit through takes like "yeah I guess ANOTHER HIM sounds kinda like gasters theme but theres no proof" or "yeah people assume the intro narrator is gaster but we dont actually know"

like do yall need Toby to spell it out in big block letters for you?

OH WAIT. HE DID.

[natjennie]

i think mostly we as a culture need to stop pretending media is for us and instead recognize that it's for the people making it. "the show didn't do the thing I wanted it to" is so not the point. did it do what the people making it wanted it to do? did it tell the story they were trying to tell? than it was successful. if that doesn't align with what you wanted to happen, don't get up in arms about it. don't badmouth the creators and throw a tantrum. that's what fan works are for. the text is the text, and it told the story it was telling. you wouldn't be like "ugh shakespeare is insane for act v btw like there was no reason for juliet to kill herself she should've just waited and then her and romeo could have been together wtf this ruined the whole play" like no!!! the themes were there the set-up was there the foreshadowing was there shakespeare did what he intended to. just because it wasn't a happy ending and just because you thought it should've went differently doesn't mean it was bad. read a fic where juliet lives and move on.

[thatsbelievable]

[floorpancakes]

[wraithsoutlaws]

i think theres a conversation to be had about how taash's story explores gender roles and transness in ways that could be seen as reductive but if your take away is "they could've given us a butch lesbian and instead we get THIS" about a canon nonbinary character i simply don't want to hear anything else you have to say about it

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Post Ptolemy's Gate ramble

So I just finished Ptolemy's Gate, thoughts are a bit all over the place and aside from mentioning the obvious I thought I'd dump some thoughts here.

Piper's apathy certainly shocked me. I know she's stressed running the council and she's got loads of organisation to do but oof she sure did come across as cold in her conversation with Kitty. Kitty has that kind of apathetic resignation of grief but it really felt like Piper had already put it behind her despite it only being two days before. Her boss that she worked for died horribly to save them all and she didn't even seem to share a quiet moment of grief with Kitty idk it just felt a little brutal 😅 I had an impression of her being really sweet so I was a bit taken aback.

One thing that really stood out to me was Nathaniel's apathy to the situation, I found it really interesting. I guess something could be said about it being the magician in him.

Nathaniel really has this duality to him, the obvious being Nat vs John Mandrake and of course Nat + Bartimaeus but in chapter 36 part ii something that caught my attention

'it was the feeling of consummate superiority, the delight of power weilded without peril. He danced beneath the night sky, smiting down his enemies.'

It already seems as if he's being elevated to something other- a martyr perhaps, except martyrs have causes and ideals, they do something because they have a strong belief in their justness. And Nathaniel:

'He felt aloof disconnected and alone. If his hatred for demons he had killed was dull and almost matter-of-fact, so was his sympathy for the people whose lives he saved.'

So he seems almost like an avenging angel, I love the religious imagery, especially because it seems to call back to Bartimaeus comparing his body to a holy mosque. But also divine rage is the driving force for an avenging angel and he's no longer even angry at the destruction caused.

'Pride spurred him on.' this almost makes him seem God-like?? His sole motivator is the pride of a deity, and I love that. But it's also just very true to him as a boy, pride spurred him on against Lovelace and against Duval and Whitwell.

When he's alone with Bartimaeus he's taken on this air of not being entirely human. He feels alone and solitary from everything including humaity. But when he rejoins Kitty, Piper and the rest of the magicians waiting for him he's reinvigorated - 'he felt a surge of joyful impatience - 'he would detroy Nouda, rescue the commoners and return to Kitty.' it seems as though he has to be surrounded by people to remind himself he's one of them. It could be seen as an effect of sharing a mind with Bartimaeus, but of course it could be Nathaniel's own human pride and his memories of being othered even as a child. Just gives the impression of this human / higher entity duality.

But also I partly got the impression that this hints to depression- I'm sure it's hardly out of the realm of possibility for Nat to have it. Though it's never stated I think several moments in the books make a good argument for it, including the above- just the numbness to everything. And I guess the sudden change in demeanor at 'surge of joyful impatience' can be read as hopefulness, but it reminded me of the saying that when people have decided to follow through on their s*icidal ideation they come across as happy and like a weight has been lifted from them. Nathaniel is impressively calm for someone who realises he's gravely injured. And while he can be seen as a martyr or hero for his final actions, the hollowness he felt at that moment gives it a more bitter edge.

I think it's made even more sad when compared to Anthony Lockwood, who has that same sense of pride - because he's trying to make his dead parents proud and because he's trying to hide the fact that he doesn't like himself very much. Nathaniel gives this same impression. And Lockwood at the end had reason to be proud, he uncovered a huge conspiracy, his agency became the most famous in London. And Nathaniel had reason to be proud; he's managing to wield the staff of his childhood hero, something he had dreamed of doing, he's had the bravery to unite with a spirit and he's going to take down the biggest threat to London.

But Lockwood gets something Nathaniel doesn't-

There's this subtle idea seen through Lucy's eyes that Lockwood's biggest achievement was fighting through his s*icidal ideation and discovering he has something to live for, even just seeing his friends again.

And Nathaniel just doesn't get that moment.

He sort of acknowledges that he doesn't have to be a powerful leader, that he doesn't need his colleagues approval, that he doesn't need to erase the fear the commoners have of him and other magicians, but without these things he doesn't know what to do with himself. He has no plan for the future, because even before he's injured the idea of a future doesn't seem to have much appeal to him. He already appears to have given up on trying to uncover who Nathaniel is, depite finally having the opportunity to. Like after everything- being beaten, the fear of his colleagues trying to harm him and burying himself in the John Mandrake persona to protect his sensitive side- he doesn't want to uncover the remnants of that boy because he's worried it'll be too difficult to put himself back together.

Or maybe he feels that he already has discovered who Nathaniel is, a deeply unhappy, hollow shell of a person, whose personality has been pulled in so many directions he no longer has a sense of self. He's been stripped back to the barest version of himself and found he doesn't even have the foundations upon which to rebuild himsef. Like discovering dry rot in your walls and you keep pulling and pulling bits of rotting wood away from the home until you've finally got it all, only to realise the house has come down around you- there's nothing left.

He doesn't get this moment where he works through his trauma, where he realises he has a support system, where he realises he's loved. I don't know if Nathaniel ever really knew what it felt like to be loved. I don't think he did. Ptolemy's death was awful and heartbreaking but his short life was filled with affection. And Lockwood realises people do care about him, depite being told that no one does. It hurts so much that Nat felt isolated and alone his whole life, right up to the last minute. Potential love confessions aside, Nathaniel never got a chance to sit and bathe in the warmness of affection. Like Bartimaeus tells him, it's about 'being not doing.' Nathaniel never got to understand the importance of just being, of simply existing as himself or of being happy. He constantly had to be working on the next goal, the next plan, because if he stops working he'll be forced to sit with his thoughts and realise how unhappy he is. And the thought of that is just too much to bear, it's so much easier to give in.

The ending gave the impression of being very romantic, while sad. Nathaniel gets to be remembered as a hero and never has to confront the consequences of his actions with wars in Europe and America that he had a direct role in. Acknowledging his role and dealing with fallout are two very different mountains to climb. And I think that idea of dying like a hero perfectly appeals to Nathaniel's prideful tendencies, and maybe he views it that way to hide the fact it's a convenient way out of his unhappiness and confronting what he's done. It's quite interesting to see that after he's been stripped back to nothing and can't figure out who or what he wants to be if he gets the chance, he still has that vanity and arrogance to him- despite not really being good character traits, they're so authentically Nathaniel, he's been that way right from the start and it's nice little peak of the real him at the end, being so humanly flawed.

[volitioncheck]

i think i wouldn’t hate disco elysium’s collage mode nearly as much if it weren’t for 1) the way that it was marketed in such a tasteless, soulless manner, let alone the fact that it was a last ditch distraction from a dead on its feet studio piloted by dumbass thieving execs and released on the day of the court declaration, and 2) those dumbass fucking stickers

like if it had been included with the base game from the start and had been titled something a bit more tasteful and in-line with how i would have liked the feature to be marketed as— something like “exploration mode”, something that perhaps could only be unlocked after completing the game for the first time, AND didn’t have those stupid as hell visually and tonally incongruent with the artstyle stickers, i would have applauded it as a nice little bonus for being able to study and appreciate the 3d models and environments for reference.

[avionvadion]

Have a fancy Irene!

I wonder whomst those robes originally belonged to... kekeke. The bruises on the neck and arm bandages are a clue as to when this takes place, as is the fact that Irene needed a change of clothes but didn't have her extra kimono with her.

[chirpsythismorning]

Antis: Stranger Things is a MONSTER show. There’s nothing deeper going on. That’s all there is to it.

The show: It’s forced conforming. Thats what’s killing the kids. That’s the real monster.

[dollya-robinprotector]

I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?

[kanene-yaaay]

The Intervention (Tickletober Day 11)

Kanene's notes: .....this was NOT supposed to be this long, really kjhgfdfghjkjhgf. Anyway, writing this made me realize how Wei Wuxian would THRIVE with "That's what she said" and "This would be the title of your porn movie". Is that relevant to the story? No, I just thought it while writing kjhgfghjik. I haven't written from day 4 to the last one so idk how the updating will be iuytgthyujuhyg let's see!

Day 11 - "Hug" (Tickletober) and "Favorite Character" (form MXTXtober)

Warnings: Some dirty jokes, comfort and lots of tickles. Ticklish!Jiang Cheng and Ler!Lan Wangji&Ler!Wei Wuxian. Around 5.000 words.

[~*~]

There was a sound of a door opening and in a blink he was standing, there was white and arms that suddenly embraced him. Before he could summon his sword, Zidian already sparking, the scent of sandalwood hit him.

"What do you think you’re doing?!" Jiang Cheng barked, heart still on his throat from the scare, even if his muscles kept trying to relax. “Fuck, Wangji, has knocking suddenly become a foreign concept for you?”

Looking up, golden eyes stared amusedly at him, making his face contort into a frown as he tried to pry himself from the embrace. Unsurprising, he was completely unsuccessful. Damn Lans and their stupid arm strength. "Let me go in this instant. "

Lan Wangji’s face explained him nothing and his arms simply pulled him even further on his chest, a small tilt of the corner of his mouth showing his smugness. "Hugging Wanyin." He ignored completely the other part of his sentence.

"Hugging, my ass!" Quick as lightning there was a pinch in that exact place, making Jiang Cheng yelp and twitch further on the hug. This fucker. Because he wasn’t above retaliation, Jiang Cheng pinched his side, watching with a grin his eyes widen the slight bit before narrowing in his direction. He raised his chin at the challenge. "What is this?"

Lan Wangji didn't answer, but his gaze traveled to somewhere behind him, right as the soft sound of a door being closed quietly stretched in the air. Jiang Wanyin froze.

This was a trap.

Before he could start to trash once more in the hold, another pair of arms encircled him from behind, warmth involving him from every angle and part, making his breath stutter for a moment. He suppressed a shiver and shoved the strong feeling of wanting to melt completely on the embrace even harder down in his chest.

"This is an intervention!" Wei Wuxian shouted way too excited and way too close to his ear. All the questions about Lan Wangji's strange behavior disappeared. Of course Wei Wuxian would be the one responsible for that.

"This is an attack." Jiang Wanyin replied and tried to headbutt the one behind him, who simply snickered in delight and dodged, never letting go of him. Jiang Cheng refused to feel happy about that. "What the fuck are you intervening for? Is Yunmeng's hospitality not good enough for you two?"

"It's more about Yunmeng's leader not showing his hospitality enough." Wei Wuxian twists his head just enough that his pout is visible. "Leaving his two favorite people in the world cold and lonely, abandoned, even! Every single morning without fail or a whisper of mercy. Such a cold heart and demeanor."

"What? Wangji wakes up earlier than both of us! Go trap him!"

"My Lan Zhan would never leave me cold and unattended in the morning." Wei Wuxian sniffed dramaticall. If he was not too preoccupied with securing, caham, I mean, hugging Jiang Cheng, he probably would be gesturing all around the place. "He stays with me for sichens until I wake up too." He sent those golden eyes a loving sigh and adoring gaze above the Wanyin’s shoulder. 

Jiang Cheng groaned in disgust and scoffed. "Your 'Lan Zhan' is a softie who bends down to you every whim."

Wei Wuxian snickered and Jiang Cheng’s mind immediately caught up with the dirty joke before he even opened his mouth. Quickly, he freed an arm and put on his mouth and continued before the other could go. "Besides, I have obligations and chores to attend to. Contrary to my esteemed guests,” only he could say this title with so much sarcasm and still so little heat, “I don't have the luxury to spend hours with nothing to do."

"Only because Wanyin is stubborn." Lan Wangji's face was close, openly staring at him like he could read every corner of his soul. Once, years ago, Wei Wuxian had said that Lan Zhan could look at you like he had all the time in the world to keep doing so and Jiang Wanyin had scoffed at it. Suddenly, he knew exactly what Wei Wuxian meant. "Were he to say this to us before, we would have started to help him sooner." The corner of his eyes crinkled the slightest bit. "Now we need an intervention."

“What you need is- GAH! Wei Wuxian!!” Tearing his arm away with a grimace, the one in purple bristled at Wei Wuxian, who laughed delighted. “Don’t lick me, you child! Jin Ling had better manners when he was three!”

Thankfully Wei Wuxian shoved down the other dirty joke, which was the only reason he was going to live another day, really, but the smug stare at knowing Jiang Cheng also thought it was there. Urg. It was horrible to be attuned to his mind.

“Aiya, A-Cheng, stop being so grumpy!” Impossibly, he squeezed even closer, Jiang Cheng could feel goosebumps spreading on the back of his neck where his breath hit him, his every move as hands and arms rested on his torso, right on his ribs.. 

A deranged thought filled his mind, one filled with warm touches, loud laughter, big grins and having nowhere to run from it. A tiny, quick twitch of lips took over him before he bit it back and turned into his usual frown, ignoring fervently Lan Wangji’s attentive gaze following his every move. 

“Aren’t you happy to have such caring people around you, huh?”

“Wanyin’s face shows his delight.” 

Wei Wuxian blurted in laughter at that and Jiang Cheng turned his full scowl into Wangji’s way, who basked uncaringly, absorbed into his husband’s laughter. Shameless. Why was he the one condemned to be locked with them and their horrible flirting?

“Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, why doesn't anyone believe me when I say you’re the funniest person I’ve ever known?”

“It’s a wonder.” Jiang Cheng hissed through his gritted teeth, trying to subtly get away from Wei Wuxian, who seemed to focus his every single word, breathe and snicker on his neck, making him really regret the choice of styling his hair into a topknot, bearing the patch of sensitive skin to the world.

(It was never a problem, before. They knew better than to try… this with him. No one ever got close enough.)

Those golden eyes continued honed on him like fire.

“I am telling you, Jiang Cheng.” It took everything from him to not jump when the other unannouncedly draped himself on his shoulder. Angling his words just right to hit both his neck and his ear, again. Did he know? Was he even realizing what he was doing? Probably not, Wei Wuxian made getting on other’s nerves such an art that he probably could do it naturally, simply by being there. Jiang Cheng straightened his posture, holding himself tight. “You’re losing so much by being here all the time. Lan Zhan’s incredible humor, my winning charisma…”

There was no helping his snort at that.

“Hey!” Wei Wuxian bristled, jolting on his back and Jiang Cheng could feel him smiling beside the protest, his arm moving and oh no, no, no, no.

 His eyes widened.  He was going to do that. It was only natural, an usual part of Wei Wuxian’s affection, full of draping arms and playful pokes of teasing and pushing your buttons at any opportunity. He looked down with wide eyes and there it was, the offending hand going up and up, stopping a few inches from his face, one finger extended and…

And Jiang Cheng couldn’t help it, at the smallest movement, before he realized it was simply wagging at him, he squirmed away a tiny, almost inaudible squeak on his throat.

Lan Wangji’s eyes narrowed on him and he knew.

“A-Cheng?”

This time he covered his shiver by pushing himself away again, but with more purpose, as if this was his intention all along. “Don’t ‘hey’ me as if you didn’t put us all in this situation yourself! Let go, I have more important things to do.”

“Harsh! We can’t just let you go, yet! First you must listen to all of our extremely compelling and irrefutable arguments, then yield to our points and then we can snatch you away and enjoy your new break together.” As the leader of the sect opened his mouth to complain, Wei Wuxian quickly pulled his strongest, most convincing weapon. “Lan Zhan!”

Fingers pressed on his sides and Jiang Cheng froze. The Lan held no particular expression on his face and his voice out smooth and unbothered as always.

“Wei Ying gets displeased by your absence.” Thankfully, Wei Wuxian’s own squawk of protest drowned his own when those fingers began moving methodically, pressing purposefully on the skin and scratching softly, as if there were small spiders, restless vines crawling from each point of touch to his throat, making it fill with embarrassing giggles. Wangji continues as if he heard nothing. “During his tours of Lotus Pier, there is the constant mention of Wanyin’s name and shared childhood memories. At morning, we ask the servants for permission to join your breakfast and hardly succeed, since Wanyin is already working. When Wei Ying goes for our walks, there are plenty of detours to watch the advanced senior disciples classes taught by their sect leader. At night, Wei Ying trains with both Gusu Lan and YunmengJiang forms, growing in each. Partially unsupervised.” 

At this, he starts to pinch lightly his sides with determination, as if each point fuelled him, making Jiang Cheng take a quick breath and hold it in the fear that if he let the smallest thing go, his entire composure would be in scrambles. His entire body trembles with his force of keeping quiet. Wei Wuxian misinterprets it, of course he does. 

(They are one of the same.)

“Ah, Lan Zhan, there is no need to be so worried. I already trained these forms before so it’s only a matter of getting this new body used to it.” He let out a laugh with no humor and the other two immediately knew what kind of conflicting words would come out. “Besides, I am sure that Jiang Cheng already has so much to do, he doesn’t need to give me extra classes. I am quick to catch up, you’ll see! I will be with a fully formed core in no time!”

Jiang Cheng grabbed one of Wangji’s hands at the same time he stopped with his… musings. Good, they share the same objective then. He closed his eyes, the words from the other finally sinking in his head

“If you wanted classes, you should have said it, not lurk around my disciples like a criminal. That is why they have been so distracted lately, then, I should’ve known it was you.” He huffed, ignoring both of their reactions and pressing before he was interrupted. “After dinner, we’re going to spar and I will see in what class I will put you in.”

“Jiang Cheng, you don’t-”

“Shut it! Do you think that just because you died you can escape your responsibilities as their Da-Shixiong?” He scowled and ignored the fragile gasp behind him. “You better give your everything in these classes and then start to teach them. Unless you’re currently so weak that not even the little kids could learn from you.”

Wangji looked at him in both warning and something warmer. The other turned to the other side, refusing to acknowledge it.

“Okay.” Wei Wuxian sounded happy and small. “You’re not scared that I’ll turn all of them into incorrigible little demons?”

“As if they could become more unruly than they are.”

“A-Cheng! Are you doubting my abilities? I will let you know that in Gusu I-”

“Wei Ying.” Wangji lightly reminded.

“That is right, that's right, Lan Zhan. We are already missing the point of this intervention. Do you want me to share my arguments now?” Wei Wuxian rested on Jiang Cheng’s back, one arm extending to lay on Wangji’s cheek., who dutifully turned around and kissed  it tenderly.

Jiang Cheng batted the arm away. If those two wanted to be affectionate they could very well get out and do it in their rooms, very far away from his general existence. 

The good point of his actions: now there was no more shamelessness in front of him. 

The bad point: Lan Wangji’s entire attention was in him, looking much more focused and determined than normal. He didn’t gulp, because he wouldn’t give the other that satisfaction, but all his senses suddenly came to attention.

“Mm. Later.”

Then he went back to his attack, now ranking his nails from his sides to his belly, right below where Wei Wuxian’s arms crossed, and the knowledge that if his stomach trembled even the slightest bit he would be noticed (and the moment Wei Wuxian noticed it… there was no hope left for him) made the urge to laugh much stronger, obliging him to give up any pretense that he wasn’t being affected to press his mouth firmly closed and let out a tiny, uncontrollable smile.

“Wanyin is pleasant to be around.” He wanted to protest, “pleasant” definitely wasn’t a word that is normally used when talking about him, but Wangji must have noticed something because there was immediately a finger scratching and teasing the skin around his bellybutton, instantly erasing any other thought from his mind. “He is knowledgeable in many of the seven arts and cultivation. He is reliable and a comforting presence in conferences, as we often share the same opinion. All of those points would be increased and improved by Wanyin spending more time with us.”

It was too much, Jiang Cheng could think about hundreds of retorts that question each one of those arguments but his brain could focus in none of them, not when the rhythm of those wiggling fingers changed to a quicker pace, actually poking and scribbling on his belly, making him want to jump out of his skin.

Wei Wuxian was suspicious of his silence. “A-Cheng?” His voice was lower, in the fear that the other was truly upset or overwhelmed and his hand came to rest on his shoulder, brushing on his neck by mistake.

This was what broke the barrier.

Wheezing giggles began to fly in the air and it was so out of place, so surprising that Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“What is so funny, A-Cheng? Have you finally come to appreciate the refined humor from my husband?”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, his only free hand lowering and making the one in black and red robes look around him to his husband, who seemed to be… tickling him? His fingers were dancing on his belly, prodding at the most ticklish spots that Wei Wuxian knew by heart and tormenting them with fast scratching and poking in a truly unbearable sensation (said from own personal experience) until they were shaking with tickle laughter. 

Wei Wuxian’s eyes twinkled with interest. “What is happening?”

“Convincing.” Lan Zhan answered.

“Torture!” Jiang Cheng replied.

“Aww! Jiang Cheng, I didn’t know you were still ticklish.” Wei Wuxian beamed, snuggled closer, nuzzling the unprotected neck right in front of him and enjoying the way it added squeaks and giggles to the laughter. His hands creeped closer. He clicked his tongue and a positively evil smirk took over his face “Also, if you really think this is torture, then let me remind you a few instances of our childhood.”

“Wei Wuxian!” He tried to fight when a hand gripped his wrist and pulled it upwards. It was for naught, the two of them keeping a strong hold on him, each small touch and tickle making him feel weaker and weaker. Electricity and antecipation fought in his soul, putting his every nerve at attention, making him feel much more ticklish than normal. Wei Wuxian just chuckled which resulted in him giggling in mortification. “Wei Wuxian, don’t you dare!”

A single finger started to circle his unprotected armpit, making his squirms to increase, when the touch came to the center of the spot, it began scraping delicately on the skin. A voice sounded suddenly close to his ear. “Is that a challenge?”

Jiang Cheng wheezed before pressing his ear to his shoulder, a squeal locked in his throat. Still, it didn’t stop the pair of unresting hands from creeping across his sides until they were prodding and spidering on his lower back, so softly, nor the single teasing touch dancing on his pit. Jiang Cheng felt like jumping out of his own skin, like breaking apart, like the only thing holding him still was the grip force he had on his laughter, that loud, crackling one he hadn’t shown no one since he was a teenager. He snorted, huffed and giggled, but held it close, trying to ignore the coaxing touches from the others. 

“Isn’t everything to you?” He bristled with no heat, the giant smile on his face probably wasn’t helping it as well. A double attack on the back of his ribs and nuzzled on the back of his ears made him guffaw, stomping his feet in protest. “S-Stohohop this at once! Whahat are you evehen hoping for.”

“My, I am so glad you asked, A-Cheng!” The finger stilled and disappeared. There were danger signals booming all over his mind as LAn Wangji’s followed the lead and stopped his ministrations as well. 

Quiet. 

“Your laughter.”

A thumb pressed on his armpit and digged and those hands on his ribs drummed, there were raspberries attacking the base of his neck and bodies pressing so close he couldn’t escape and everything else disappeared in a flash with Jiang Cheng’s voice and mind.

Until his control broke and a crackling, squeaky, horribly snorting laughter began leaving his mouth. The tickles only increased then, seeming hunger for each one of his sounds, the fingers on his ribs poked and scratched at every bone, every space between them, not a single inch being left unattended before each one of his weak spot were found so they could rest on them and vibrate, over and over and over again until he was throwing his head back, uncontrollable laughter coming louder, a touch hysterical.

The attack on his armpit, too, hardly felt any more bearable, it drummed and plucked everywhere, with a skill and confidence of someone who had been playing this same instrument for years, who knew that when he changed for drawing circles around the pit with his blunt nails and a light scribbling, squeaks began taking over and if he suddenly changed to a energetic digging in the center of it a loud high pitched squeal would ring in the air again and again, each time he repeated that technique without fail.

Jiang Cheng was lost in laughter, feeling the ticklish sparks take over his every touch, every move, wondering if the years spent without it made him somehow even more vulnerable, wanting to throw them away and pull closer, questioning how could he feel secure when they were playing with his reactions, his expressions. A playful voice refocused his mind.

“Awww, Lan Zhan! Isn’t this cute? I think he got even more ticklish than before. We used to get into all kinds of tickle fights as kids. There isn’t a lot of ‘fight’ right now, though, is there?”

“LEHEHEHET ME GOHOHOHO!” He tried to pull his arm away from his grip, but he could already feel his strength start to falter. His endurance really used to be better. He would be caught dead and cold before he admitted Wei Wuxin was right, though. “I-IHIHI WILL SHOHOHOW YOU THE FIHIGH-HNK!” Three hands tickled him more at it and Jiang Cheng shrieked in protest, wiggling away from one just to fall further on the other.

“Very sensitive.” Wangji mused, sounding half puzzled and half smug, ranking two fingers across his spine to his shoulderblades, skittering there with no mercy. Jiang Cheng jolted and arched his back, falling onto his chest, not being able to put himself back to a standing position. “Extremely ticklish.”

“SHUHUHUHUT UP!” He used his free hand to bat at him, only to have it captured as well, another five fingers drumming on his newly unprotected armpit until he was burrowing his face on the other’s neck in an attempt to hide his hysterical crackles. Lan Wangji hummed in appreciation.

“Ohhh, wait, wait, is he weak already?” His hands were free and he jumped when twin firm touches rested on his sides, making him giggle uncontrollably when the tickling had stopped. “Bring him here, Lan Zhan. I want to show you something!”

“Fuck no.” He tried to pry those strong hands away. Unfortunately, his muscles already felt like wet noodles and those snorting snickers leaving his mouth made him want to use them to hide it. Before he knew it, his back was resting on another chest and there was a stupidly fond smirking face above his.

“Hi, A-Cheng!” He only dodged with an amused chuckle when the one in purple tried to push his smug expression away. “Do you remember the rules?”

A sense of dread took over his veins and his smile became more wobbly and there was a yelp in his words “Don’t.”

“So you do remember!” Their eyes were glued to his two hands, who appeared once more and were slowly approaching his torso, only to freeze dutifully at their gaze. “Do not look away or we will attack!” 

Jaing Cheng groaned at the stupid high pitched voice Wei Wuxian did, already feeling his face heat with such childish antics. “Stohop this! What ahahare we? Children?”

“No!” Wei Wuxian continued, ignoring his protests. “We are the Tickle Hands! Cursed to tickle-tickle-tickle every horribly ticklish human that appears in front of us for the rest of eternity. And we found you!” They clawed the air, making Jiang Cheng instinctively suck his belly in. For a second he looked up, to those pairs of attentive, shining gazes focused on him, but a blur of movement made him quickly go back to watching those offending fingers, now barely inches from his skin. A few snickers escaped him at the scare. 

“Almost. That was so close! We can barely wait to get you!” Wei Wuxian faked a sad tune, then a thoughtful one. “But where must we attack first? Those wiggling hips? They just keep squirming and squirming for our attention. Aw, but this nice belly seems so delicious too, I can feel the ticklishness from here!” Like magic, Jiang Cheng could almost feel the touch in each one of those spots and the heat began spreading from his cheeks to his entire face. “My fingers have been itching lately to play with some sensitive ribs, too. And look at this adorable reddening neck! So many choices, so many choices, how could I choose only one of them?”

“Gohoho awahahay, stupid.”

“Gasp! So harsh, so mean! The choice is made then, I will tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle all of them! I will claw at that wiggly tummy of yours, squeeze those ticklish hips, dance on each one of your ribs and then burrow myself in this so, so sensitive neck forever and ever, ChengCheng!”

“No!” Jiang Cheng jolted as a nibble hit his neck and only determination was what kept him from sending a scolding scowl to Wei Wuxian, who chuckled behind him, more than pleased that he was participating in the game. There was so many giggles, so many snickering jumping freely from his smile, so many ghost tickles attacking each one of his spots. “Thihihis ridiculohohohous. Stohohop it.”

“He always complains a lot.” Now in his normal voice, Wei Wuxian loudly whispered to Lan Zhan, who was softly smiling for a while now, his own ears prickling with the teases, even if they weren’t directed at him. His husband was truly merciless. “But have you seen him even trying to push me away this entire time?” The one in black robes preens, then, pleased, using his teaching tone. A pity he couldn’t free one of his hands to pretend to have a goatee, but leaving his Jiang Cheng in stitches was more important. “You can only tease him that much when you tired him before or it will not work! He will start fighting and complaining and probably attempt to make a break from it and then get all grumpy and protesting afterward.”

He will kill Wei Wuxian when he is done here, he really will. Wangji hums seriously, as if he would be taking notes if his hands were not busy holding him up. It was a surprise they haven’t fallen on the ground yet, the only good point is that, so focused on their torso, they wouldn’t think about…

Other places.

As if he could read minds, Wei Wuxian’s face brightened, then was taken over by a mischievous, evil look. His next words made electricity shot through his spine. “There is only one exception for this, a single spot that can distract him instantly and make him agree to anything, but it’s… ah, Lan Zhan, can you lower him to the ground? It’s easier to show than to say, really!”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened and his legs locked into place, eyes quickly darted to the Wei Wuxian’s face, only realizing his mistake when said face opened into a sharp grin and hands clung to his sides, spidering on them and clawing on his belly until his eyes were closed, squeaky laughter spilling from him once more and his legs were back into wet noodles.

“Wei Ying?”

“Don’t worry, Lan Zhan, just this one spot and then we’re done! It’s going to be fun.”

Jiang Cheng clung to those hands as they started to lower him to the ground, kicking at the playful fingers hiking up his ribs and scribbling on that truly awful spot under his chin until his huffs of laughter and snorts were almost successful in distracting him.

“Get his calves.”

“WEI WUXIAN!” Then those hands left his torso and rested on said spot, making him pull up his leg uu and being stopped by a hand holding his ankle still, locking his leg into that half curled, half extended position. With curiosity, Lan Zhan ran a finger from his ankle to the back of his knee, watching with a pleased surprise as he jolted on the same place, shaking his head as Wei Wuxian’s tickling continued to pry a high kind of snickering from him. “Lan Wahahahangji, you’re gohohohonna rehehehegret it!”

Lan Zhan looked at his face, the red in his skin, the smile in his lips, the melodious sound of his laughter. 

He watched as Wei Wuxian beamed at him, the mirth in his eyes, the expecting grin aimed in his direction. There was not even a choice to be made here. 

“It will be worth it.” 

As a squeeze hit his calf, a shriek left his lips, making Wei Wuxian stop his playful touches to better hug and adjust him, nearly being hit him when he quickly went to hide it on his neck, shoulders shaking with the force of his laughter, being pried from his chest in a uncontrollable, loud and unashamed manner. There was squeals adorning it every time those skilled fingers digged his flesh for a moment, only to disappear and attack another place again, squeezing and taunting and skittering. There were squeaks and guffaws when he suddenly decided to scratch at the ticklish skin under his knee and tittering snickers when he began poking the entirety of his calf, exploring every spot, every inch of skin, drumming on his thighs as a chance to let him breath and then going back to torment his weakest spot. Somewhere during this, his shoe was taken off and there were fingers wiggling and teasing under his toes, making him shriek once more and squirm as the cycle repeated over and over again.

When tears began flowing on his face, Lan Wangji stopped, rubbing on the skin and firmly massaging the muscles until there were only a couple stray giggles floating in the room and Jiang Cheng was jelly on his hands. Wei Wuxian fondly cleaned the tear tracks, snickering. “Aiya, Lan Zhan, it was only one spot more. Such a ruthless attack, how will we even tell Xichen-ge that you killed Sect Leader Jiang?”

“Hm. Wei Ying said ‘one more spot’. I didn’t.”

Wei Wuxian gasped at the smart, smug-sounding words. “When did you start acting so rebellious? Is the influence of the Yilling Patriarch truly corrupting the unmoving Second Jade of Gusu Lan?” 

“Not unmoving. Not with Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying squeaked in embarrassment. “Lan Zhan! Such a smooth talker.”

“Go flirt somewhere else.”

“A-Cheng!”

“Wanyin.”

Jiang Cheng finally opened his eyes, the last remain of his hysterical giggles gone. Unfortunately, the tiny grin on his face didn’t want to disappear so willingly. 

He scoffed, at his mushy feelings, at the relaxation of his muscles and the stupidly soft gazes aimed in his direction. His neck and ears burned and for a moment he almost succumbed to the want of hiding it in his hands or Wei Wuxian’s neck, like before, but since those two were the ones to blame about it, then they would have to deal with their consequences. Another pair of hands began, too, massaging his shoulders and his eyes fluttered close, grin growing bigger, face softer. Wangji came closer, took his hands and began softly massaging each one of his fingers, then his pulse, then his arm. 

Golden and gray eyes found themselves above Jiang Cheng’s head and Wei Wuxian’s crinkled. 

‘My favorite part.’ It said. Wangji nodded in agreement. There was something about how freely Jiang Cheng accepted their touch and care, now, pillant, willingly and smiling. Although having him squirming, answering at each one of their tickles, reacting so strongly at their teases, was an extremely good feeling as well.

“Did you like our intervention, A-Cheng?”

“ ‘m never lett’ ‘u hug me, ag’n”

Wei Wuxian snorted and Wangji fluttered his fingers softly on his palm, pulling sleepy, almost nonexistent titters, then massaging the spot dutifully.

Perhaps they should be making more interventions in the future.