#thomas.

[touchd0wn-boy]

BLINK-182 - THE ROCK SHOW Los Angeles, California | July 6, 2024

[necrxphxbia]

[text: Corpse] Hey! This is Thomas, your house president. Or, I suppose, as of now, ex-president. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to get to know you all that well, but I wish you the best of luck in your time here! If you ever need any help, don't hesitate to reach out - I may be a stranger, but I promise I'm a friendly one! There's a care package on your doorstep. Good tidings and warm feelings, Thomas Sanders ☺️☀️

[ text; xxx-xxx-xxxx ]

how did you get my number

[ text; tommy bahama ]

did egoraptor give it to u

[choicescreen]

@natophonetic

his jaw clenches, clenches, clenches. " s'it wrong to state an obvious fact, these days? i must've missed that announcement. "

[rejectory]

“you’re an awful liar.”

she gets like this, like a dog with a bone and won’t stop laying into him until she gets at where the blood’s dripping. well, why not inspect your own mouth, @medicbled.

he’s this close. what didja jus’ call me? closer, even, for a wonderful, alive flash. ain’t that the day when he’s finally become his own piece of shit father.

ain’t that the day.

like clockwork, she waits for the one when he’s had two too many beers and a pressing want on the brain. she wants him to lie proper, heard that right.

“nice fella,” him. that. whatever that lightweight plaid thing she’s been circling is.

tom’s swig’s squeaky clean. he knows she knows: plenty of nice fellas, diego always said, turn out to be not so nice.

[slugtrait]

welcome to the 100 baby challenge with simone saylor !! we started off the first round quick and strong with thomas watson, a married man with a wandering eye, apparently !! it didn’t take much for simone to get him back to her apartment.

i’m not taking this challenge too seriously as far as screenshots go, so a lot of the editing may look funny because i’m really just playing around and trying to find a style, i guess. so, i hope you all enjoy the chaos this playthrough is sure to bring !!

[tmarshconnors]

How the apostles died

1. Matthew. Suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, Killed by a sword wound.

2. Mark. Died in Alexandria, Egypt , after being dragged by Horses through the streets until he was dead.

3. Luke. Was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous Preaching to the lost.

4. John. Faced martyrdom when he was boiled in huge Basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution In Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered From death.

John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison Island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos . The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve As Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey . He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully

5. Peter. He was crucified upside down on an x shaped cross. According to church tradition it was because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die In the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

6. James. The leader of the church in Jerusalem , was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club.

This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

7. James the Son of Zebedee was a fisherman by trade when Jesus Called him to a lifetime of ministry.

As a strong leader of the church, James was beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial.

Later, the officer Walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and Knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

8. Bartholomew. Also known as Nathaniel. He Was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed for our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia where he was flayed to death by a whip.

9. Andrew. He Was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony.

His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words, "I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it". He continued to preach to his tormentors For two days until he expired.

10. Thomas. He Was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the Subcontinent.

11. Jude. He Was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.

12. Matthias. The apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot. He was stoned and then beheaded.

13. Paul. He Was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment, which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational Doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.

[jellllllo-bowl]

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later

[ultimate-marysue]

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t

[amorkuku]

[touchd0wn-boy]

[mdq]

pet cigarette

[choicescreen]

@covrroucer

sharp blink. crisp inhale. " are you mad? "

[everwalldigan]

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[rejectory]

"what was that?"

@medicbled mumbles, “i’m not even tired.”

and he’s dorothy zbornak.

"sir, yessir."

glory’s hair splashed down his knees, pillowed by her own cheek, tom turns the palmful she cradled her face into for purely tactical reasons. to better ignore the curated snapshot of what’s up with the world on TV.

mundane’s good. his brain’s numb. he was looking forward to that fuckin’ piece of junk parroting public-sanctioned bullshit off a teleprompter like you wouldn’t believe.

he thumbs a skin-tight dab of white-hot off the taper of her chin. it gets pouty-pebbly as he does. get a load of this one. swatting a paint-roller up’n down all day really takes it outta you, huh. shoulda told him that before his failed tequila shot mission that one summer.

there’s a skyline of beer bottles jagging up over the anchorman’s head, the keyed-open caps winking like coins. the takeout grease slinks out the loose takeout box joints; he’s toed a napkin ball into the biggest wound to take the brunt of tomorrow’s fuck’s sake. nothing’s fast. the kitchen’s all nice now, chalky-wet. he dips nose-to-nose with her until her eyes seem huge.

"arms around my neck, baby."