#tho i do put actual memories and experiences in there too

[tangledinink]

For the writer ask game, #4, #23, #25?

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

Technically, just one! All the little sidefics I've started are currently wrapped up and complete (tho there's more I wanna do still) so TMWN is the only WIP!

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

Oh lord. Shrug emoji. IDK, just where it... feels good! Like it feels like things have been wrapped up and we're at a good settling point! I do like cliffhangers, but I usually try not to leave anything too crazy as an unknown for a week, either. Sometimes I end a chapter because I realize I've written like almost thirty pages and I should probably figure out a stopping point and split things up, lmao. Chapter Twenty and Twenty-One were originally one chapter, but then I realized it was, like... almost fifty pages... so I went back and found a good place to split it up, lmao.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Oh yeah. For sure. Sometimes I'll, like... tap into something sad by accident. Like, I'll be writing something sad/emotional/upsetting, and then I'll think about it too hard and get really upset (usually it's less something I've experienced and more something that someone else has experienced. Like. There've been times I've written about Yoshi being scared about his children's safety, and then thought about my mom losing her son, and then I'll suddenly be really fucked up about it.) I also have a tendency of, like... giving the TMWN boys things I don't have? Like. A lot of their experiences, especially childhood memories and aspects of their relationships, are things that I wish I had. I am, quite frankly, not close with any of my living family members. Part of the story, for me, is giving them the stuff I want but never got and will likely never have. And then sometimes I'll get kind of sad about it? But usually, it's okay. I like giving them good things. <3

[star-girl69]

Can’t Help Myself

Caroline (KK) Harvey x Fem!Reader

—-

synopsis: nights out are supposed to be fun, but when someone mistakes you for being single, caroline can’t help herself.

a/n: GUYS IM BACK!!!!! also i love you alexandra savior… anyways from this ask, i hope you all enjoy!!

Can’t Help Myself - Alexandra Savior

warnings: alcohol obviously, lots of it, swearing, violence, mentions of blood and such, ummm idk i don’t want to give too much away 😣😣 that’s pretty much it tho, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

The last time you went to a bar you were sneaking in with a fake ID.

You were 20, so close to that precious age of 21, a freshman in college and itching for that movie like experience you had grown up seeing. After a friend of a friend hooked you up, you got so drunk you swear you started seeing stars, but those might have just been the checkerboard black and white tiles on the bathroom floor.

Memories of that cold tile on your knees hit you every time you thought about going out and, besides- your major didn’t allow for much partying. A fact your friends and girlfriend all detested- but you refused to get behind on classwork just to end up on the bathroom floor again.

But, here you are. Holding onto your girlfriend, Caroline’s hand as she guides you through the crowds of people and towards the bar. You look around warily- is it just you or is there too many people in this building? Are they seriously not breaking some sort of fire code?

Caroline had asked so nicely- and by that, literally got on her knees and begged you- you were all caught up on school and had no homework, she had just won the NCAA championship and was on a high- plus you had a three day weekend.

Really, there wasn’t any excuse you could use.

Maybe, if you really wanted to, you could have said you were too nervous, and Caroline would have stayed home with you immediately at the first sign of you being anything other than happy. But, you knew she wanted to celebrate with her team. And why wouldn’t she? She worked hard for this, scoring 3 goals during the entire Frozen Four tournament.

Caroline suddenly squeezes your hand before pulling you towards her, arm moving around your waist.

“You good, baby?” She asks, looking around the bar for the collection of red jerseys.

“There’s a lot of people,” you say, hesitantly. You don’t want to lie to her, but you don’t want her to take you home. You know she will. Not yet, at least. “I need a drink.”

She laughs and kisses your cheek, and your stomach twists at the sound of her contagious laugh- you find yourself smiling too. “I’ll get you one, then.”

She immediately makes a detour towards the bar, and you press your hip into the counter while she wraps her arm around you, standing next to you so closely you probably look like one person in your matching Harvey jerseys.

“What’d you want?” She asks, her breath tickling the side of your neck. God, it’s loud in here, too.

You stare at her blankly for a second before shrugging. “I dunno, you’re the one who actually drinks.”

She smiles. “Okay, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

The bartender asks what she wants, and you block out what she says- kind of wanting to be surprised. Next thing you know, she’s saying thank you and putting some money on the counter, telling the bartender to keep the change before turning to you, two glasses in her hand.

And, suddenly, despite the uneasy feeling in your stomach and the fact that this place is so bright and so loud, she looks into your eyes and it’s suddenly just the two of you.

“Thank you for doing this for me,” she whispers.

“Of course, baby,” you smile. “You deserve to celebrate. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine. I want you to have fun.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m always gonna worry about you, babe.”

“If I really want to leave, I’ll just grab your hand and squeeze two times.”

“You better not lie to me, though. Are you sure you’re still good?”

You kiss her nose. “All good. Let me have some of that drink now?”

She smiles, and you shouldn’t be surprised by the way she completely bypasses your open hands and lifts the drink to your lips herself, watching intently at the way your lips part around the small black straw, then at the way your cheeks slightly hollow.

It’s… disgusting, really. The drink, at least. Having Caroline look at you like this, pupils wide and bottom lip now drawn between her teeth, is absolutely exhilarating. All you’re doing is taking a sip of her drink and she’s acting like you’re doing the sexiest thing in the world right in front of her.

It’s slightly fruity, and there’s vodka in it, and maybe some soda? It’s disgusting. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t want to know. You continue to force it down, managing to down almost half of the glass before Caroline snaps back into reality, ripping the drink away from you.

“Okay, slow down, please,” she chuckles.

You gag a bit, shaking your head. “That’s disgusting. Ugh, I hated that.”

“I can get you something else?” She asks, frowning. You almost chuckle at how concerned she is. “Or just water?”

“No,” you roll your eyes. “I’m just trying to chug it as fast as I can.” You try to grab the drink from her again, but she holds it back.

“Okay,” she smiles. “You can… do that, I guess. If you really want to, but in a few minutes. Take it easy, yeah, baby?”

“Okay,” you echo, feeling your stomach twist at the way she’s so knowledgeable in this, the way she’s looking out for you-

“Good girl,” she smiles, kissing your cheek before wrapping her arm tightly around your waist again and leading you through the crowd.

She has to know what she does to you.

You look at her out of the corner of your eye- satisfied smirk on her face- oh. She’s trying to kill you.

Fine, you tell yourself. She’s acting all cool as if she wouldn’t be leaving this bar if you squeezed her hand twice. She’ll do whatever you want, you both know that, but if she’s gonna try to rile you up in the middle of the bar by saying that- well, two can play at that game.

She leads you towards the other side of the bar, where you find a huge booth filled with red jerseys, half-full glasses strewn about the table.

Laila’s phone is propped up against one of those glasses, and she stares intensely at the screen in a way you call tell she’s reading comments on live.

“Laila!” KK calls, loosening your grip on you as the floor opens up a bit.

She smiles when she sees the two of you, beckoning you over. She’s sitting at the end of the circular booth, so you let go of KK to give her a quick hug. Wrapping your arms around her neck, pressing your cheek to hers to say hi to the live.

“Hi, guys!” You smile, watching as a flood of comments come in, all of them saying hi, or complimenting you. “Aw, thanks everyone. You’re all so sweet.”

“Guys,” Laila says, “Do you see this right now?”

She plucks at your red jersey.

“She’s a liar. She does not play for the Wisconsin Badgers! And her last name is not Harvey, either!”

KK suddenly appears next to you, pushing her face into frame.

“One day, though.”

user-1 omg they’re so adorable

user-2 Y/N I CANT BELIEVE YOU STOLE MY GF

user-3 tbh she’s beautiful i cant be mad

user-4 y/n harvey has a ring to it tbh…

user-5 NO DONT GET MARRIED KK COME HOME

user-6 @/user-5 KK THE KIDS MISS YOU

“I’ll believe that when I see a ring,” you tease.

“God, nothing ever pleases you.”

“Can you not?” Laila groans, fake gagging.

user-7 aw poor laila third wheeling

Laila scoots over and you sit down next to her, allowing Caroline to press a kiss to your cheek, saying she’ll be back soon.

user-8 y/n fit check pls??

“Y/N do a fit check!” Laila shouts, not quite aware of her volume level. You take another sip of your drink, gagging yet again.

“Okay. I don’t feel like getting up, though. Um, top is from Caroline Harvey’s closet, bottoms are from, like, Old Navy I think. I dunno, they’re just jeans. And then I’ve had these shoes for years, so…”

Laila turns to you, bored look on her face.

“Y/N, you’re not very good at this.”

“Girl, whatever. I tried.”

user-9 y/n ur so real

user-10 i would die for you y/n

user-11 what method of manifestation did you use?

“My method of manifestation? Listened to Bags by Clairo on repeat, of course.”

user-12 Y/N CLARIO STAN CONFIRMED????

user-13 u are my new fav celebrity.

user-14 what are you guys drinking?!?!??!!?

“What are we drinking?” Laila repeats. “Um, I don’t know if we can say this. Take a wild guess, though.”

“I don’t even know what this is,” you laugh, picking up your glass and swirling it around, listening to the ice clink. “Caroline ordered it for me.”

You take a deep breath- moving out of the screen- abandoning the straw and placing your lips right on the rim, downing the rest of the glass.

user-15 GOD THEYRE SO ADORABLE

user-16 i’m still in mourning…

user-17 the day they hard launched a part of me died

user-18 IF Y’ALL DONT SHUT UP YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE ANYWAYS

user-19 @/user-18 EXACTLY if i see ANYONE bullying my queen y/n i will attack

“Aw, thank you guys,” you coo. “I’m so sorry that I took your girlfriend, really.”

user-20 GOOD

user-21 YOU SHOULD BE.

user-22 pls tell kk to pay child support

“Okay, so, guys, you didn’t hear this from me but unfortunately KK is actually in debt from all of the child support payments, so you might want to find some other income.”

Laila, who had zoned out reading the comments next to you, laughs so hard she has to take herself out of frame.

“No, because KK actually is so broke right now.” She says, coming back into frame, her eyes so wide she looks like a crazy person.

user-23 y/n pls take laila home 😭

user-24 laila ily pls stop drinking

Laila gasps, dropping her jaw in shock.

“I’m literally not even that… D-R-U-N-K!”

“Laila,” you say, biting your lip to keep from laughing. “Maybe it’s time to let the live go.”

“Yeah, I wanna dance. Okay, bye, guys. Sorry for tripping out. I love you all, see you guys soon.”

You blow a few kissy faces at the screen. “Love you guys!”

The live ends and Laila immediately perks up, looking towards the dance floor. “Okay, move!” She says, trying to push you out of the booth. You scramble away, chuckling at how disoriented she is.

“Sure you wanna dance? Your 6’1 self might fall over and kill someone.”

“Shut up, Y/N.”

Dancing does sound nice. You need to let go a bit, and where better to do it then in the middle of a bunch of people so drunk they won’t remember this tomorrow?

Laila grabs your hand, despite the fact she just told you to shut up, and starts to drag you into the crowd of dancing people. The music seems louder, now.

“Y/N!”

Someone grabs your other hand, pulling you and Laila to a stop. KK stands there, concern on her face and her drink back in her hand.

“Where are you going?” She asks.

“To dance,” you roll your eyes. Maybe you’re kind of a lightweight, but you already feel a little tipsy. That might be a placebo effect, though. This place just feels so freeing, with all the pretty lights and the music that you swear is getting louder by the second.

You grab her drink, taking another big sip.

Her eyes widen and Laila groans, tugging on you.

“I wanna danceeee.”

KK looks between you, drunk Laila, and the crowded dance floor.

“Y/N,” she grimaces. You take another sip.

“I wanna dance, KK. Don’t be a… freakin’ party pooper.”

She blinks at you. “Oh, my God, you are such a lightweight.”

“Okay, can you relax? Overprotective? Your precious girlfriend will be fine,” Laila smiles, flexing her bicep.

“See?!” You smile, gesturing animatedly to Laila before taking another sip.

She grabs her drink back from you. “All done with that.”

“Aw,” you pout.

Caroline sighs, looking again at the dance floor like it’s some entity that’s gonna hurt you.

“Baby,” you start, wrapping your free arm around her neck and drawing her in close to you, burying your face into the side of her neck.

“Y/N.”

You kiss her neck, tongue darting out to swipe across her sweet skin. “Please let me dance, Caroline.”

There’s a breathy lilt to your voice you both know she can’t resist. This is how you win every argument, just bury your face in her neck and ask pretty please.

“Shit, Y/N,” she says, her voice strained. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you ask, kissing her neck again.

She puts her free hand on the back of your head, smoothing down your hair for one second, savoring the moment before she pulls you away.

“Can I go dance?” You ask, barely licking your lips- but she sees it.

She sighs and rubs the back of her neck.

You both know she can’t resist you, not right now. Especially not when you’re wearing her last name and you’re kissing her neck.

“Be safe.”

“Bye! Love you!” you shout, tugging on Laila. She drops the hand that was covering her eyes and smiles.

“Thank God that’s over.”

You turn to look back at Caroline, and she’s staring after you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You’ve never thought that Caroline’s overprotective nature was too much. You’ve never shied away from it. How could you hide away from something that feels so perfect? So good? So right?

Belonging to her is the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever known- you can’t help yourself from loving every crazy part of her.

And, besides, she deserves to spend time with her friends. She deserves to celebrate her win in whatever way she wants. You’re kind of surprised that she didn’t follow you out onto the dance floor, but you’re happy about that. She needs her friends and you need yours.

The music gets so loud you swear your eardrums are about to burst.

It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt.

—-

After dancing with Laila for so long your legs feel like they’re about to fall off, they start playing a slightly slower, more sexual song. Couples quickly form on the dance floor- whether it be actual couples or just random people deciding to dance together.

Laila hits your shoulder, and subtlety points to a man wearing the ugliest neon yellow jacket. Maybe it’s not so bad on its own, but paired with an equally neon orange shirt underneath, he looks kind of like a traffic cone.

You laugh, but this new song has changed the vibe, and suddenly you wish your girlfriend was dancing with you.

“I want Caroline,” you say to yourself, spinning around, trying to find where the red jerseys are- quickly getting dizzy. Definitely a little drunk.

“Who would have guessed,” Laila deadpans, and you swat her shoulder while she laughs.

You suddenly feel eyes on you, but Laila is searching the crowd. You look around, suddenly locking eyes with a man dressed in black dress pants and a blue shirt- the top buttons open.

The first thing you notice about him is how startlingly pale he is. You actually kind of get the shivers- he’s deathly skinny, with a goatee he cannot pull off- and he kinda makes you feel uneasy.

Besides for his somewhat startling appearance, he licks his lips as he looks at you like you’re a piece of meat.

“Ugh,” you say, cringing, unable to hide the disgust on your face. You feel kinda bad when his face falls- maybe he’s just drunk like you. Yet, here you are, criticizing his appearance and gagging at him. You shoot him an awkward smile, and his eyes trail up your body- okay. So much for giving him the benefit of the doubt, whatever. “Help,” you whisper to Laila, somewhat jokingly, grabbing her hand.

“Huh?” She asks, grabbing back and looking around.

“Really pale weird guy staring at me like he wants to fuck me.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Y/N. That’s fuckin’ disgusting, don’t tell me that.”

“Sorry!” You laugh, watching her eyes widen as she seems to finally spot him.

“Oh, wow… he’s so handsome! When my eyes are closed.”

You laugh and quickly slap your hand over your mouth, turning to her to keep from him seeing you.

“He’s still staring, though,” she frowns. “Okay, this dude is actually so creepy- I’m done dancing, you too?”

You suddenly remember how much you miss Caroline.

“Yeah, all done. Miss my girlfriend.”

“Y’all are so clingy, God… anyways, where did we come from?”

“Um, there, I think.” You start leading her through the crowd, immediately forgetting about the man, thinking only about your beautiful girlfriend and how excited you are to see her again. Forgetting the fact that’s only been about 20 minutes.

Suddenly, a flash of blue appears in front of you and you’re slamming into someone.

“Oh, sorry!” You apologize, steadying yourself by grabbing onto Laila. “You okay?”

You’re met with a pale face and a goatee.

Your eyes widen but you manage to bite your tongue, Laila squeezing your hand so tightly it might snap off.

“All good, pretty girl. You okay?”

“Fine, thanks!” You manage to bite out, Laila’s resolve slowly falling as she starts laughing a bit, and you try desperately to pull her away.

“Hey,” the guy starts, but you pretend not to hear him and tug Laila past him. You can’t bear to look behind yourself, scolding Laila softly as she starts boisterously laughing.

“Oh, my God- you bumped into him!”

“Laila!”

This entire night has felt perfect so far, and it feels kinda picturesque that a super cliche movie thing happened to you. All you can do is laugh about it.

“What’cha laughing about?” Caroline asks, and you suddenly realize you’ve escaped the dance floor and made it back to her.

“KK!” You smile, wrapping your arms around her neck and pressing a short kiss to her lips. She smiles back at you, looking at you in a way that can only be described as adoringly.

“Okay, bye,” Laila says, jokingly covering her eyes as she walks away to talk with some other teammates.

Caroline rolls her eyes at Laila but wraps her arm loosely around your waist, just keeping you close to her. “You’re having fun, baby.”

“So much, this is great. Why don’t I go out more? Why don’t I drink more? Oh, can I have that?”

Caroline stares down at her drink that you’ve already drunk most of-

“C’mon, sweetheart, I’ll get you another one.”

“Okay!” You smile, feeling on top of the world with her arm around you again. She leads you around the outskirts of the dance floor, and you end up back at the bar- leaning against her while she orders.

You’re standing side by side, and she’s dropped the hand around your waist to pull out cash from her wallet. You miss her touch, so you lean your head against her shoulder, adjusting her jersey that’s started slipping down your shoulder.

“Can I buy a drink for the pretty girl and her friend?”

At first, you don’t even realize someone’s talking to you.

You hear about it in the movies, the creepy guys at bars. You hear the horror stories from your friends and family. And you know it’s real, you know it happens- but you never ever think it could happen to you.

Suddenly, there’s that same pale man right next to you, staring into your eyes with such and intensity you wonder if he has a medical condition or if this is some weird attempt at flirting.

“What?”

Its the only thing you can think to blurt out.

Caroline looks up from her wallet, stuffing it back into her pocket and turning to you, hearing your voice but confused as to what you’re talking about.

“Can I buy you a drink?” The guy repeats in a hopeful tone- but the way he carries himself irks you. He’s self-entitled. It’s not quite confidence, but it’s more so this idea that the entire world should bow at his feet. And, unfortunately, that includes you.

“Excuse me?” Caroline asks, quickly wrapping her arm around your shoulder and pulling you even closer. “Thanks, but she doesn’t want anything from you.”

“Really?” He asks, smiling in that same self-entitled way. “C’mon, honey. You’re gorgeous, I’m gorgeous, let me buy you a drink and take you home.”

You feel utterly frozen. Is this actually happening? Are there cameras somewhere?

“Uhhhh…” you say, looking between him and Caroline- the two of them currently engaged in a deadly staring competition.

“Sorry, let me rephrase. My girlfriend doesn’t want anything from you.”

“Caroline,” you mutter, hearing an edge to her voice that’s turning from protective and wary to something a little more… violent. “Let’s just go, babe.”

“Yeah, let’s just go,” she echoes. She turns around with you still under her arm, positioning herself between you and the other guy.

He scoffs as you both turn around- completely offended and shocked at the idea that you don’t want him.

Maybe Caroline glaring at him sets him off. Maybe he just doesn’t know when to quit.

“C’mon, baby- you know you want it. Stop being a little bitch.”

Your mouth parts slightly- and you almost want to laugh- him? Calling you a bitch?

You can feel Caroline’s entire body tense against you.

“Caroline-” you start, knowing her protective nature is going to get to her. You’ve seen it a thousand times on the ice when a girl on the other team gets too close to her goalie, or roughs up another Badger- Caroline fights on the ice.

God, you’ve even confessed to her how sexy you think it is when she suddenly shoulder checks some girl, or slams her stick into someone’s chest.

She whips around, her arm out in front of you, while the arm that was previously around your shoulder whips around and slams into his face.

You let out a yelp at the sheer speed of it all- one second you were walking away, and now Caroline is shaking out her hand as the man doubles over, clutching his jaw.

“You stupid fucking bitch!” He shouts, a crowd quickly forming.

Thankfully, she ignores that comment.

“Listen to me. You don’t touch my girl, you don’t look at her, you don’t think about her- or I swear to God you will not be able to fuckin’ talk.”

She turns back around, her jaw clenched, and you gape at her- mouth opening and closing like a fish, you feel so stupid- but you don’t even know what to say. Do you scold her? Do you kiss her? Because you kinda want to do both right now.

Your mind is literal mush. Not only was that the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life- but also terrifying. Thankfully, you don’t have to do anything, because Laila and a few other Badgers break through the crowd, grabbing KK and dragging her back towards the exit.

Laila softly taps you, and you tear your eyes away from the fuming man still clutching his cheek- mouth still stupidly dropped open.

“You good?” Laila asks, softly putting her hand on your shoulder.

“Good,” you breathe. “Oh, my God- I can’t believe that just happened.” Laila leads you out of the bar, following behind KK who is getting… forcefully escorted out by her teammates.

The whispers and the staring stops when you exit the bar and into the fresh air. It’s nice out here, still warm but there’s a cool breeze running through. The bar was stuffy and hot, and you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until the fresh air is right in your face.

“Okay.” Britta Curl, Wisconsin’s captain sighs heavily, rubbing her temples. “What the fuck happened.”

It’s not quite a question.

KK’s teammates let her go, and her jaw is clenched, fists also clenched at her sides. She’s like a tight little ball of anger right now, about to explode.

She’s obviously not going to answer, so Britta turns to you. Her frustration softens a bit, and you’re sure you look a little shaken up- you can’t stop thinking: what if Caroline wasn’t there?

What if he got his hands on you? What if he had stepped closer?

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yes,” you breathe. All of the team knows you well, and most of them are truly your friends. Despite the fact it’s become a running joke to refer to you as “KK Harvey’s Girlfriend” you know they all do care about you. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“Shit, Y/N,” KK breathes, running her hand through her hair. It’s nothing like earlier tonight when she said those words, when you were kissing your neck.

God, if you could go back to that.

She takes a few deep breaths. “Shit. I’m sorry, Y/N. I… I just couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t let him say that shit. Call you that, fuck.”

You can practically see the memories flash behind her eyes, and she’s getting herself all worked up again.

“Harvey,” Britta cautions, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Take some breaths.”

“Okay, hold on,” Laila starts. “Was that who I think it was? Pale guy from the dance floor?”

“Yeah,” you affirm, and Laila rolls her eyes.

“What a creep.”

“Wait, who?” KK asks, suddenly completely still, staring at Laila in a way that reminds you of a predator about to attack. She’s still got that rage in her veins, and she’s chasing the high, the retribution.

“There was this guy on the dance floor, he was staring at Y/N in this, like, sexual assault-y way, super creepy-”

“A what way?”

Her voice is calm. But you know her, you know her voice- you can hear the pure rage behind it. That deadliness, all of that precision and strength from hockey honed to one target.

“Okay,” Laila says, sticking her palms out in a calming manner. “Not the best choice of words. Deep breaths, KK.”

“No, like what? He was staring at my girlfriend like what?”

“Caroline.”

You walk towards her, placing your hands on her chest.

“Caroline, sweetheart, I love you… but you have to calm down, okay? He was just a fucking weirdo at a bar. And you punched him, remember? He’s not going to talk to another girl, let alone me, for a long time.”

You force her to meet her eyes, and she stares at you for a few seconds- her face slowly starting to soften.

“Sorry,” she mumbles after a moment.

“Why do we even try?” One of her teammates whispers. You resist the urge to smile.

“Why don’t we go home, K?”

She looks over your shoulder at the door to the bar.

“Yeah.”

“Thank God,” Laila mutters. “This was about to become a bloodbath. Everyone say ‘thank you, Y/N.’”

A few of her teammates laugh, and even KK cracks a small smile as they all repeat the sentiment.

Britta turns to KK, glaring at her still somewhat disapprovingly.

“I’m sorry,” KK mutters again.

Britta sighs. “I… probably would have punched him too if I was there. I can’t blame you.”

“Exactly, like? What was I supposed to do? He called my girl a bitch and I was supposed to just walk away? Nah. No way.”

“Overprotective!” Laila chimes in with a sing-song voice, and all of you laugh.

Finally, you all manage to bid your goodbyes, Laila saying she’ll hitch a ride back from someone else- “I don’t want to hear what’s about to go on in that bedroom. Keep the biohazards to a minimum, though.”

Caroline opens the car door for you, moving around to the other side and quickly climbing in. She puts her hand on the inside of your thigh, not starting the car yet, and making no move to.

She hesitates for a moment.

“Did I scare you?” She finally asks, turning to you with such vulnerability etched into her face it fixes any part of your heart that had ever hurt.

You smile softly, because you love this girl and you can’t believe she cares about you this much.

“No, baby.” You put your hand on her face and she leans towards you. “I was scared… because I kept thinking about what would have happened if you weren’t there.”

“I’m never letting you out of my sight at a bar again. Or ever, actually. Would you be down to tattoo Property of Caroline Harvey on your chest?”

“Caroline.”

“I love you.” You smile, the joking scold dying on your tongue. “I love you so much. And I can’t believe you’re all mine.”

You fake gasp. “I cant believe you’re all mine. Caroline Harvey, Olympian, star-athlete, heartthrob of women’s hockey-”

She shuts you up with a kiss. You’re both smiling into it, your thumbs rubbing her check, her hand squeezing your thigh and her other hand coming up to lightly hold the base of your neck.

When you finally have to pull away for that stupid thing called breathing, you grab her hand and squeeze twice. She quirks her brow at you before realization washes over her face.

“Well, when my beautiful girl says it’s time to go, it’s time to go.”

She doesn’t move her hand from your thigh the entire drive. And despite Caroline being a little hot headed and a little overprotective, it’s just her way of showing you she loves you- you can’t think of it any other way.

There’s no one else in the world who would succumb to whatever you want just because you kissed their neck, no one else who you would feel confident completely placing your trust in, no one else who can love you the way she loves you.

And if tonight is any indication- she loves you to the point of violence. Which is kind of alarming, but mostly sweet.

—-

[crychaoss]

I love the project bluebird au, I really do, but I truly believe Jaiden wasn't an experiment at all. I actually think she might have been the same rank as Cucurucho or even higher when she was in the Federation.

Look at this book. "YEARS AGO YOU HELPED US. ME." Cucurucho says Jaiden helped HIM specifically. The two weeks she spent in this building, SHE was experimenting on Osito. She had to make reports on Osito's progress, she observed his behaviour etc.

This theory already existed before Jaiden even came back, but what if the reason Cucurucho says Jaiden helped him, because that's how Cucurucho was "raised" as well. Jaiden was the supervisor of Cucurucho back in the day, and since Osito is not working right, the Federation needed Jaiden back, to help him improve.

Now don't think I didn't thought about how the "YOU HELPED US" could mean that the experiments the Federation carried out on Jaiden helped the Federation progress. But that wouldn't make much sense. If Jaiden was in fact this high ranked employee of the Federation whose job was to raise Cucurucho's, it would make sense why she had to be locked up for two weeks with Osito. The Federation realized Osito is too casual and wasn't doing his job correctly, but the only person who could help fix him was memorywiped.

So what I'm saying is..

Jaiden was a high ranked employee of the Federation whose job was to supervise, teach and develop Cucurucho. Jaiden's memory then was wiped for whatever reason and she was put onto the island just like any other member. The Federation then made another Cucurucho by themselves, Osito, but Jaiden wasn't there to raise him and he turned out "wrong". After the Federation realized this, they locked Jaiden up in a building with Cucurucho and Osito, and made her do the job she had already done before... raise a Cucurucho.

The reason why Cucurucho might be so harsh even tho we saw how soft and sweet Jaiden was to Osito (and how she probably raised Cucurucho as well) is because of how much the Federation changed. When Tubbo asked Cucurucho if he has free will, his first reply was "CLASSIFIED" and after Tubbo seemed shocked, he answered with "Yes". Somehow I do believe Cucurucho is not the actual bad person here, but since he's the creation of the feds, he can't do anything else.

Now a not really related theory, is how Baghera might be connected to Jaiden as well. When they first talked in private, Baghera said "Even tho I don't know you, I care about you and trust you for some reason". In Baghera's old diaries she talks about a kind guard, and even tho (i think) she used masculine pronouns for this guard, what if that was Jaiden and that's why Baghera felt that connection even tho she didn't remember Jaiden, nor Jaiden remembered her. What if Jaiden was the only nice person in the Federation who helped her. (tbf this is a huge hc, but it would be cool if it was real)

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 31-35 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

The chasm in their understanding of what makes Vivi tick.

The stakes in this scene seem low and the twins are just overdramatizing the danger for the sake of unwinding and being silly, right? Yesn't. One wrong move or word, and they join those leafmen scattered all over the place.

Finding the line between bad actor and caring sister.

Of course Alisaie wants to hang out with Vivi. She doesn't want to admit that to herself, let alone risk looking desperate in her brother's eyes. Tsundere moment. It's been a while since they've. Had a rest. Between rescuing Minfilia from Laxan Loft and making their way to Il Mheg. Alphinaud, at least in my hc, isn't as physically durable, but definitely as stubborn and proud as Alisaie, so he wouldn't simply agree to chill out for a moment. Alisaie makes him tunnel-vision her bad (?) acting and openly throwing the game for supposedly selfish reasons, while she gets what she wanted, AND forces Alphi to sit his ass down.

I’m sorry but I really need to point out that her ahoge did, in fact, launch into the stratosphere.

More under the cut~

....Can you blame her tho.

Vivi’s shirt’s a bit more plain than usual, he needed to wear something practical under his crystarium guard disguise in Laxan Loft.

The flashback in episodes 32-33 has no dialogue per se, only monologues, to emphasize how disconnected they are.

Technically both vivis are real, but Exarch’s memories are definitely heavily skewed. He’d only known Vivi during the CT quests, in this story it’s a month or two in summer, during which literally nothing bad happens, sans the finale. Alisaie, however, got lucky to experience Vivi during Stormblood, his absolute low.

Exarch and Alisaie sit on opposing sides of the bias, one wears pink glasses, delusional and bluepilled, the other one’s (heh) redpilled, perhaps a bit too much. Hence Alisaie feels the whiplash when her jerkass woobie friend suddenly acts mellow (back in the present), still she has the expertise to tell that he’s not affected by a fae spell or anything.

Full page because I’m so proud of the paneling here, simple as this trick is, these speech bubbles blocking Vivi from sight neatly illustrate that Alisaie just babbles away, paying no heed to his state.

With the power of flashbacks and stories told by one character to another, I’m able to revisit any moment in their past whenever I please. I didn’t commit to a linear story because there was no story! Well, just the outlines. Vivi as a character began in ShB because I really needed to fuck that old man, I started writing down the lil scenes loosely connected by the canon plot, and that’s how the whole concept of Fragments came to be.

It may not work for everyone, but my secret sauce’s that you don’t have to begin at the beginning. Make a guy, put him in a situation, then ask a lot of whys and hows to expand his story backward and forward.

Keeping the past events for later allows me to flesh things out at a leisurely pace. This Alisaie flashback is actually an iteration, originally I’d planned to have Vivi stand alone and just think the broody thoughts, and that was supposed to be the transition between ARR and ShB arcs. I grow more writing muscle as I go, and I’m infinitely happy that I avoided that angsty infodump.

Okay this’s becoming a big fat tangent, but I wanted to acknowledge another pitfall: overusing a character as a mere exposition tool. I wouldn’t do this for, say, Tataru or Y’shtola. Being THE flashback haver makes sense for Alisaie because a) they’re close with Vivi, b) her worldview and opinion on Vivi are changing in ShB, she’s a smart lil thing who would slow down and reflect when appropriate, c) she has a distinct arc in my comic, and knowing what’s going on inside that elf brain will give you the most entertainment out of her actions in the present moment.

I’m new to writing and very excited about the story that comes together as we speak, so I like to show around my kitchen. Please lemme know if you enjoy this. I don’t know if I’m parroting the boring 101s, or if this’s actually useful to someone.

“Meals made for me” YEA HE CAN’T COOK. Well, barely.

New sharp outfit, procured by our most magnanimous branch. The “tail” will help me draw the upcoming Titania fight, it adds fluidity to his movements.

*presses the upgrade button*

There's a lot happening in his head that's not being shown. I hope at least some readers wonder who or what he leaves behind in his mind's eye in this moment. What we know for sure is that he doesn’t take too long to make a decision.

Not sure if subtle, but I did try the breadcrumbing:

Unfortunately for everyone, including himself :’>

I love this one especially because, instead of telling that about himself, Vivi asks Ardbert, kinda gauging his wol experience against the other wol’s.

Episode 34 really shook people awake and reminded that we’re off the msq rails with this story. I loved the response it evoked in the tags, lots of thoughtful rambling about being a hero.

Fae temptation jokes and all, but Feo Ul really says what Vivi needs to say out loud to himself.

Normalize prioritizing self-care over world-saving.

Vivi genuinely cares about Feo Ul. That’s unusual. It might be my storytelling mistake that I didn’t show much of his typical indifference before this scene, unless you count the episodes where he does this

instead of hurrying the fuck up with the msq. Or, perhaps, it’s okay, since this gets plenty of attention later on. You won’t miss the fact that he isn’t eager to set himself on fire to keep others warm. Feo Ul just lucked their way into his heart, and, as a result, he approaches the Titania fight with unusual consideration.

/srs mode on ^

Remember how I just talked about developing this story in all directions at once? I planned Vivi to have this demeanor during the early days of writing Fragments. Like, most of the time. He’d be a broody bitch, get slowly thawed by Exarch’s kindness, and... That’d be it. In veeeeeery broad strokes, this’s still the case, but the current iteration has much more nuance.

Vivi and Titania’s likeness has no deep meaning, take it or leave it. Vivi cares about appearances, he was bound to notice this. Feo Ul can see souls, visuals are secondary to them. But Vivi, being himself, must doubt and question everything.

He moves fast and thinks a lot as the adrenaline speeds him up.

Notice how he lets Titania speak and remains quiet. This’s common in most fights: he doesn’t indulge with chats or banter those who he sees as mere targets to destroy. There’s like a point of no return, if an enemy poses no threat and can be talked out of dying, Vivi will speak, sadly he enters this fight knowing that Titania has to die no matter what.

Once he’s familiarized himself with the situation, and realized that Titania’s more than just a mindless husk, things change up a bit. But for now, he just runs in circles, analyzes the situation, and overthinks about their visual resemblance :’>

Sorry not sorry but unintentional reference x’DD

To be fair Vivi IS being a magical boy in this miniarc so this works lmao.

Wrapping up on this note, thanks for sticking with me and reading till the end~

[supermaks]

No but what is red bull doing with this car??? I just can't understand how they're suddenly having so much issues. It feels like the McLaren car is great in every track while we're are struggling everywhere.

My impression is that mclaren have now a superior car and they might put some serious pressure on the championship. No hate to the mclaren drivers, but they're not doing justice to that car. The only reason max keeps winning still is because he's leagues better.

Tbh its still too early to tell but the more rbr talks about the suspension and what they think the problem is, the more sense it makes to me. Its not at all a new thing, actually its kinda part of the design itself. Like the red bull philosophy wid the 2022 regs was to maximize the aerodynamic components by keeping the suspension as stiff as possible. rb18 and the rb19 were uncompromising cars from the start, but the ground force generated was so ahead of everybody elses rbr cud have the most rigid mechanical components and still produce better lap times than the competition just because they were able to lower their rear very consistently. So for instance they get to an outlier like Singapore that has such bumpy characteristics and like explode but it doesnt matter because for most of the calendar the ride height holds and they have the advantage. Its a very milton keynes adrian newey led type of compromise regarding car design which means its not a compromise at all and it kinda expects its immediate and total sovereignty to be its own justification. I dont think rbr is doing anything 'wrong' wid the car, its just that the car was always bound to hit a limit in performance and kinda coasted on other team's setbacks. That and yes, there are lil operational mistakes throughout race weekends happening rn that didnt exist last year and cud be attributed to some uncertainty regarding car development, the turmoil inside the organization, some fatigue, etc. Time will tell if they can fix the problem or if its something to try and minimize until the next regulatory cycle

About the Mclaren, and why it looks so spooky, seems MTC have been able to develop a car that not only employs the same suspension trick as rbr, but is able to make it work to its full potential, particularly by absorbing bumps and kerbs more effectively, which is something the rb20 as of now cant do. Basically its an all around more balanced car wid better handling. Without the first SC yesterday Lando wud have put a 20 sec gap no problem. By fp3 both Mclarens were already lapping like 2 seconds faster than the rb20 so like clearly that pace is here to stay. Whether itll translate into a full fledged wdc fight it will depend on the next big 4 updates because all the top cars have room to improve in the upcoming european leg. mcl38 has a lot of potential tho and not being hindered by the suspension the way rb20 is makes it a significant threat. Also like Mclaren is still making some basic strategy errors that usually tend to go away once the team settles more into its new role in the competition.

Ab ur last comment, idk personally I think zak browns bj brothers are doing a really good job keeping pressure and staying consistent, especially Lando, but its also their first taste of a truly competitive car so its normal for them to miss out on some pole positions or maybe not drive some stints as well. I think Ive commented on this before but sometimes it does come down to experience. 2023 had some hints of a possible Mclaren resurgence but they were few and too spaced out for the drivers to be able to truly build on it. On the other side u have a world champion coming out of 3 consecutive title runs 1 of which was one of the most competitive in recent memory, and another the most dominant. Mclaren is intent on building momentum and Max wont let them. Rbr are in limbo but Max isnt. Wid much respect to everybody else but like either put ur best foot forward every time or better luck next year 😐

[creative-caramel-coffee]

A Disastrous First.

Pairings: Wanda x nat x R (platonic)

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: Reader is on a mission with the team and it’s the morning before they leave to go into the bush for a bunch of days to camp to stakeout a base and reader gets her first period. Bad timing.

TW: periods (idk if that needs a warning lol), blood, vomiting, exhaustion, cramps, embarrassment, swearing (very little tho)

A/n this is based partly off personal experience lol

“So are there any questions before we leave?” Steve asked. A chorus of mumbled no’s came from the group and Steve clapped his hands. “Alright everyone go to the bathroom and then we’ll head off. The campsite has already been setup.” He continued to talk but your weren’t really paying any attention. You felt odd.

After the meeting ended you stood and followed the team out of the room. Everyone went back to their rooms to finished packing and go to the bathroom before getting on the jet. Fury would be coming with to pilot the jet back to the compound as it drew too much attention for a week long stakeout in the woods.

Hydra had a new covert based and Steve posed all the avengers come with the camp out in the woods. It really only needed about two people for the mission but Steve insisted after all it had a been a long time since the group did anything as a team.

You finished packing a bag with basic supplies. You were the youngest on the team. About half a year younger than peter who was fifteen which left you at fourteen and a half. After all the team couldn’t not accept you after your past. Hydra had given you powers that couldn’t be ignored. Fire and magic made it hard to fit in at times but after you met Wanda you grew better control over them. Not as good as her yet but still impressive. She had much more time spent training hers than you.

You set the duffel bag on the edge of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

“Shit.” You swore. Internally panicking. You knew you were a bit late and most of the other girls in your year had gotten their first periods but you hadn’t expected it now. You had no supplies, and you were about to leave. You got lost in your own mind. Could you ask Wanda? A knock came from your bedroom door.

“Y/n? Steve needs us all at the jet now he sent me to get you.” Nat called through the door.

Dammit. You folded some toilet paper and placed it in your underwear. You could ask Wanda once you get to the camp ground.

“Y/n?” Nat called again.

“Coming.” You said. Quickly you washed you hands and finished up grabbing the duffel and slinging it over one shoulder. Nat studied you for a moment and then without a word the two of you walked down the hall.

When you got to the jet Wanda sensed you anxiety and once you were in the air she pulled you aside to ask if you were ok. You had made an agreement for her not to look into your mind as it brought back memories of not being in control like at hydra.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Wanda said rubbing her thumb against your bicep from where she held it.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” You said and Wanda frowned unconvinced.

“Y/n you can tell me anything you know that right?” She said softly.

“Well actually there is something but. Its dumb.”

“Im sure if its bothering you its not dumb.” She said and ushered you to sit with her away from the group.

“I- i- i got m-my first p-period.” You said not looking at Wanda. She smiled at you with understanding in her eyes.

“That’s ok. Do you need anything? Pads? Have you got cramps or anything?” She asked.

“I do need some pads. I don’t have anything. And i don’t think I’ve had any cramps yet. Im just tired.” You said.

“Well i can give you some pads and you can go put one in before we land. Its a tough time to get it with camping and all. Steve said there would be no real bathrooms.” Your head whipped up at that.

“W-what?” You said eyes wide.

“Oh sweetheart were you not listening again. Its kinda a pee in the woods situation.” Wanda said. You simply opened and closed you mouth and Wanda pulled you in for a hug. You felt her slip something into your pocket and pat your back.

“Thanks wands.” You said. Quietly slipping away you put in the pad before coming back to sit next to her. You rested you head on her shoulder exhausted from everything.

“You can sleep now y/n/n we still have a couple hours till we get there.” Wanda said and you curled into her and drifted off.

You woke to hands running through your hair and soft whispers in your ear.

“Y/n/n time to wake up lovely girl.” Wanda said and you opened your eyes.

“There she is.” Wanda said and patted your cheek. “We have about five minutes till we land. I though you should change again before we get off and start setting up.”

“Ok.” You mumbled and stood sleepily. Once you entered the bathroom you found another pad in your pocket and silently thanked Wanda. After changed again you went back and curled up against her again. This time with you head in her lap. Wanda traced patterns on you leg and soon you felt someone sit down on your other side. Nat picked up your legs and swung them into her lap.

“You ok y/n/n?” Nat asked. She had been observing from the other side of the jet. You mumbled and hid your head in Wanda’s thigh.

“Do you want me to tell her?” Wanda said and felt you nod against her leg. Wanda lent closer to nat and whispered to her.

“Y/n/n got her first period. Shes a bit exhausted.” Wanda said and nat nodded.

“Does she need anything?” Nat asked.

“I think she’s ok. I’ll ask.” Wanda stroked your hair again and softly asked if you needed anything. You mumbled a small no and went back to dozing.

“Yeah she’s ok for now but do a favour and keep an eye on her if I’m not with her for some reason?”

“Sure.” Nat said.

After dozing for another few minutes Wanda’s hands found your hair again and you yawned, stretching in her arms.

“Welcome back sleepy head. We just touched down, nat said she can carry your bag if you want sweets.” Wanda said. You sat up slowly.

“No I’ll be fine don’t worry.” You waved her off and grabbed you bag following Steve off the jet with nat and Wanda following behind you.

“Alright we’ll be in tents of three.” Steve started once the team was all in the clearing. “Wanda, nat and Y/n in one tent. Bucky, sam and myself in another. Bruce, tony and peter in the third. And lastly Clint and Thor in the last one.” Steve said and for once there was minimal arguing as everyone was happy with their tent groups. The team dispersed and began putting bags in tents and claiming sleeping bags.

Nat, Wanda and you were sat in the canvas tent. You had opted for the middle spot with nat on your left and Wanda on your right. But the three of you knew you would all wake up in a cuddle pile each morning.

Wanda placed her hand on your knee where you had your legs crossed under you.

“Y/n/n are you still feeling ok sweets?” She asked from where she sat on her own sleeping bag. Nat sat on your other side folding her clothes and placing them at the foot of her bed but you knew she was listening as well.

“‘M fine.” You mumbled feeling your cheeks heat. “Um. I do have a question though.”

“What is it lovely?” Wanda asked.

“Um, what do i do with the dirty pads if there are no bathrooms?” You mumbled again. Wanda slapped her forehead.

“Oh damn how could i forget.” She began rooting around in her bag. Soon she pulled out a plastic bag with four brown paper bags inside and a small container of baking soda. You looked at her confused as she handed it to you.

“Basically you put the pad inside the bag and sprinkle a bit of baking soda on it to keep … bugs away from it.” She said.

“Ew.” You said making a face and shoving the bag into your backpack.

“Yeah. Pretty much.” Wanda said chuckling.

“Thanks wands your a life saver.” You said and hugged her. She hugged back loosely worried about if you had cramps or not yet. When the two of you broke apart nat silently hugged you.

“I know i don’t have much experience in this but in want to help so i bought you this.” She said and pulled a chocolate bar from her bag. You took it with tears in your eyes and nat silently panics worried she had done something wrong. Wanda simply chuckled as you threw yourself at nat for another hug.

“There are the hormones.” Wanda said grinning.

“Oh shut up and come here sparkly hands.” You said and she raised a brow and sandwiched you between her and nat. After a few moments you pulled them down and now you all laid cuddling on your sleeping bag. After a few moments Wanda noticed the slow rise and fall of your chest as you had fallen asleep. It was at this moment the flap of the tent lifted and Clint poked his head in.

“If i knew it was cuddle time i would have come earlier. Can i join?” He joked and nat rolled her eyes from where she laid with your arm over her chest snoring softly. She lazily flipped him off and Wanda stifled a chuckle.

“What do you want Clint?” She said feigning annoyance.

“Steve wants us all to gather so he can go over what we are going to be doing for the next few days.”

Nat sighed “give us a minute and tell him Y/n’s not coming and we’ll catch her up later.” Clint grinned shooting her a thumbs up before disappearing.

Carefully the two girls extracted themselves from your grasp and slipped in a pillow for you to cuddle. You rolled over burying you face in it and breathing in deep. Wanda cooed and nat laughed softly.

“She really is just a big teddy bear.”

“Shes a cute teddy bear.” Wanda agreed.

“Alright lets go see what capsicle wants before he comes in and wakes up y/n/n” nat said and the two quietly left the tent hoping you wouldn’t wake until they got back.

Steve sat around a small campfire in the middle of the tents and was poking it with a stick. He looked up and frowned.

“Is there any good reason Miss L/n is not joining us.” Steve asked.

“Shes sleeping.” Nat said

“Not good enough go get her up.” Steve said and nat was about to argue when Wanda left to go grab you knowing Steve wouldn’t change his mind.

When she returned you were trailing behind her exhausted and rubbing your eyes. The team was all there now and watched your curiously.

Steve began talking but you weren’t really listening as you rested you head on Wanda’s shoulder.

“Are you ok?” She asked softly “your looking a bit pale sweets.” She said.

“‘M fine wands.” You mumbled shifting a bit and poorly hiding a wince. Wanda noticed and decided to bring it up after whenever this impromptu meeting finished. She shot nat a look and Wanda silently told her what was going on with her powers. Nat nodded and went back to paying attention so she could fill you in later as she could see you were half asleep and not paying attention and Wanda was more focused on you than Steve. She placed a hand on your cheek holding your head from where it sat on her shoulder. Your whole body was leaned into hers as you blinked and fought sleep.

After the meeting was over Wanda carried you back to the tent as you were still exhausted. Nat followed behind. Wanda moved carefully not to jostle you and spark any uanessacry pain as she knew the cramps had started.

She placed you down on her bed so you were more out of the way. Nat followed her into the tent.

“Are you sure she should be sleeping this much?” Nat asked a little worried.

Wanda shrugged, “I was the same on my first, it’s all new and exhausting both physically and mentally. Im expecting her to get upset at some point. When your not used to it and your hormones are out of whack, seeing that much blood can be scary and gross. Plus not having real bathrooms or anything makes that ten times worse. I feel for the kid, timing just sucks. And from what i can tell with how often she’s changing her pad poor things not got it light, i just hope its a short number of days.”

They woke you once for lunch and gave you some pain meds before the three of you relaxed but not quiet slept in the tent for the afternoon. You did some lazy doodles in your sketchbook not really paying much attention to the art. You must have fallen asleep at some point because your woke in Nat’s lap with braided hair. The three of you got up and had dinner which you ate curled into Wanda’s side. After you went to bed while Nat and Wanda stayed up for a bit with the team. And despite being an avenger tony had given both you and peter a bed time of ten. So the two of you went to bed in your own tents.

You woke to a sticky feeling between the sheets, it was still dark. And you laid annoyed at being away, huffing softly before a cramp hit hard accompanied with nausea. Knowing the feeling a little too well you hastily crawled over the sleeping lump that was Wanda, accidentally jostling her in your hurry. She sat up slightly with you laid across her lap with your hands frantically unzipping the zip. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

“Y/n? What are you doing?” She asked and froze as instead of a response she heard you gag and start to dry heave. That woke her up quickly. She looked over at Nat who had propped herself up on her elbow with her eyebrows scrunched looking slightly tired. When they heard you whimper nat scurried out of her sleeping bag to beside you were you were now on all fours. Your back arched as Nat swept your hair up to hold it just in time as you began top throw up on the grass behind the tent. You breathed heavily coughing up the last of it while Wanda rubbed between your shoulder blades. You were panting and the two women held their breath in anticipation.

“You ok you gonna-“ nat was cut off as you brought up another round.

“Ok that answers it.” She said. “Shh bubs its alright. Its ok. We’re not mad just get it all up sweets.” She said. Wanda whispered similar things as she silently thanked Thor that nobody came to investigate the gross splashing sound of you being sick on the ground. When you finished you looked up with tears in your eyes. Wanda waved her hand the sick puddle disappeared as she pulled you into her lap where you curled up and cried. Wanda shushed you softly as nat dug around in her bag for a bottle of water, mouthwash and a cracker for you to nibble on as well as two ibuprofen.

“Shhh sweets it’ll be ok. Do you want me to come with so you can change you pad sweets i think you bleed a bit on the sheets. She said and your cried harder not having noticed.

You nodded into her stomach and Wanda used her magic to clean the sheets before nat handed you the things she grabbed. You used the mouthwash and drank some water opting to eat the cracker once you had changed and felt hopefully, less sick. Worried you couldn’t handle anything in your stomach at the moment. Nat nodded and Wanda led you by the hand to the patch of trees a little way off from the camp ground. She turned her back and used here magic to light the area for you with a soft red glow. After the rustling stopped and you told her you were done she walked you back to the tent where nat was sat patiently waiting for your return. She silently handed you the cracker and you curled up on your bed nibbling on it. Two strong pairs of arms wrapped around you from both sides and once you finished the cracker you drifted off again the pain medicine working wonders for your cramps which had settled to a dull ache.

The next morning Wanda and nat let you sleep in taking turns to sit in the tent for when you woke up. Not wanting you to be alone after last night knowing you would wake with more cramps. In the morning they wanted to give you the pain meds straight away to avoid another episode like last night.

Clint shot nat a look from where he sat making coffee on a pot above the fire.

“You look like shit. Did you even sleep last night?” He asked and nat rolled her eyes and flipped him off.

“Shut up Barton. Y/n kept me awake last night.” She said and Clint laughed.

“She kicking you again in her sleep.” He asked.

“No Shes sick.” Nat said and Clint’s laughing stopped and he stilled, looking worried.

“She ok?” He asked.

“Yeah she’s sleeping. Just… keep this between us, ok?” She said and Clint nodded knowing nat would have her reasons. He went back to stirring the coffee so it didn’t burn.

“You and Wanda can have the first cup.” He said and nat blew him a kiss.

“Life saver.” She winked and went to find Steve to tell him he needed to excuse you from activities and either her or Wanda for the day.

Nat soon swapped out for Wanda and moments after the young witch had left you began yo stir. Nat was by your side in an instance and you sleepily took the medicine she held out for you. What she wasn’t expecting was for you to curl back up as small sobs shook your body. Nat carefully placed a hand on your shoulder.

“There’s so much blood natty.” You whimpered with little tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Shh shh i know love its ok.” Nat said petting your hair.

“I wanna go home.” You cried and nat pulled you into her to give you a hug. You sat there a tangle of limbs while you cried into her shoulder while she stroked your head and whispered words of comfort.

“Its ok my sweet angel your alright.” She said before humming a soft Russian lullaby that sent you back to sleep. She sat back against her pillow with you laid on top of her. Which is where Wanda found her a half hour later.

“She doing ok nat? Did you give her the meds?” Wanda asked and Nat nodded. You were still clinging to her like a koala.

“Shes emotional and tired which is a hard combo for her.” Nat said and placed a kiss to the crown of your head from where it rested below Nat’s chin.

“Poor girl.” Wanda said. “At least Steve excused the three of us from activities. All it took was one mention of that time of the month for him to look sunburnt all of a sudden and turn into a stuttering mess.” Wanda chuckled.

“Yeah Steve’s sweet and he means well its just sex ed wasn’t really a thing in his time. He’s good at helping a girl out if she needs it but he’s still a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing. He’s trying though.” Nat said and you whined as you stirred before burning your face in Nat’s armpit. Wanda pulled a face and nat laughed.

“Im clean don’t worry she’s probably just looking for warmth.”

“I should take her and let you get so me breakfast before it’s all gone.” Wanda said as she carefully pried your sleepy form from nat. You curled into yourself before Wanda pulled you close and you immediately latched onto her and settled again. Nat chuckled slightly.

“She sure is clingy like this, that gonna have to be my new favourite time of the month then if we get this may cuddles.” Nat said and Wanda laughed slightly. Her chest vibrating against your cheek as she did. You hummed in sleeping content as she did and you smiled in your sleep.

“Now shoo, go get some food and maybe bring something back for the cuddle bear here.” Wanda said and nat gave a mock salute before hopping up and getting out of the tent. Nat smirked as Steve failed to meet her eyes and she quickly dished up some food before heading back to the tent.

When Wanda woke you for breakfast you looked confused which was adorable in your sleepy state with your messed up hair. That was something nat could fix for you later.

“I thought Steve said no food in tents? Something about animals?” You asked.

“I doubt Steve is in any state to say anything and what he doesn’t know cant hurt him.” You shrugged as Wanda laughed and you began to eat the bacon and toast. You didn’t like eggs.

Nat laughed as you pushed the eggs to one side. She knew you wouldn’t eat them and simply got them so her and Wanda could have more.

“Thank you guys. I know I haven’t been very easy to deal with” you smiled at them but it was more a half grimace. Wanda set her fork down.

“Absolutely not. You will not apologise for something you can’t control sweets. Nat and I are happy to help and not just this time. If you ever need us for anything especially this you can come to us no questions asked.” She said and you nodded swallowing back tears.

“I needed to hear that today. Thanks wands.” You whispered.

“Any time L/n” Nat said and you smiled before the three of you went back to eating.

“So what do u wanna do today?” Wanda asked and you frowned.

“I thought we had to do team activities.” You said.

“We did but we got us out of it. We are all your for the day.” Wanda smiled and you blinked.

“Is it ok if we just stay here and I can draw you don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”

“Nonsense. You’re our get out of jail free card that’s too good to waste. Especially because I know Steve’s gonna want to go on a run at some point and will probably drag the whole team along. You have come in very useful my good friend.” Nat winked and you laughed.

That day was spent drawing the campground and anything interesting your could find in your sketchbook while Nat and Wanda relaxed. Chatting or reading. At one point Nat was sharpening her knives which she said she had been meaning to do for months and thanked you for getting them the time off.

“I didn’t really do much.” You smiled shrugging.

“That’s the idea.” Wanda laughed. “Can I see your sketches?” She asked

“Umm.. sure some aren’t finished yet.” You said handing her the book. She leafed through the pages in awe.

“Y/n these are amazing I never knew you could draw like this.” She said looking at the sketches of the campground there were even some portraits of the team which Wanda traced with careful fingers. “Nat come look at this.” She said and you blushed and she turned back to you. “If that’s ok?”

“Yeah that’s fine I’m just not used to the attention Peter caught me drawing on the roof once other than that not many people bother to look through my sketchbooks.” You shrugged.

“You have more of these?” Nat asked looking up from where she was studying the art. “They are very impressive y/n/n” she said.

“Yeah that’s my twelfth sketchbook.”

“I’d love to see the others when we get back to the tower. If that’s ok?” Wanda said.

“Yeah sure they’re not as good though.” You said. After a while the handed the book back along with a few more compliments which had you blushing unused to such honest praises.

The morning went quickly and soon you were having lunch with the team again who was sweaty and gross. You laughed as Clint chased Nat around with his arms wide threatening a sweaty hug. Her face has you in stitches as Wanda reminded you to breathe through her own laughter. Peter complained about never getting time off and tony playfully whacked him saying he shouldn’t ever wish for anything like girls anatomy. Stark shuddered thinking about pepper and her rage when on her period. Sometimes she was cuddles and joy and others she was threatening to give him the company back to manage. He still loved her though and held her hair back when the cramps made her throw up.

Later the team all went off with Steve again to do some survival training while you Nat and Wanda all went back to relaxing. Nat noticed you wincing later and silently gave you more meds and you thanked her.

“No problem kid you were due another dose to anyway.” She said and Wanda passed you a glass of water she had conjured.

The afternoon went off without a hitch and soon it was evening again. Wanda made sure to give you extra strength meds before bed this time so they would last the night and hopefully you wouldn’t wake up. You slept until late morning as Nat glared at anyone who tried to wake you up. Soon all the tents were pack down but yours and Nat pulled your sleepy form from the sleeping bag and placed you in Wanda’s lap. She packed down the tent and you snuggled into her stomach as you curled into a ball on her thighs.

Soon the quinjet landed and Wanda used her magic to block the noise for you so you stayed sleeping. The next time you woke you were in Wanda’s bed still on her lap. Nat was sat by Wanda’s side reading a book propped up on her bend knees.

“Morning sweets. Guess where we are?” Wanda said and you smiled recognising the room.

“We’re home.” You cheered and Wanda nodded.

“No go take a shower stinky.” She said and you grinned. “I left you some of my clothes on the sink and a new pad for you. We’ll have a hot water bottle, chocolate, snacks and a movie marathon waiting when you’re done.” She said and you gave her an appreciative thumbs up as you shut the door. As girls you didn’t mind sharing beds or bathrooms after all the three of you were very close.

That day was spent being pampered by your two favourite women and eating a boatload of chocolate. If this was what periods were like… maybe they weren’t all bad.

MASTERLIST

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LBGTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 3, Wave 1, Poll 6

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. 

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus-The Locked Tomb

Qualifications:

She's a lesbian and the author Tamsyn Muir has confirmed she's written as schizophrenic, based on her own experience.

Okay SO Harrow is a necromancer nun who is also a huge lesbian. She spends the books of TLT series being super gay and repressed about her emotions for 1. Butch lesbian Jesus and 2. Human Barbie the death of God. She narrates the second book (Harrow the Ninth) and is author-confirmed schizophrenic. She experiences hallucinations thru the whole book and has since childhood. She’s also WIDELY headcannoned as autistic by the fandom (me too) because. Because she IS SO FUCKING AUTISTIC (source: I am autistic too)

Schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Schizophrenic and sapphic

canonically a schizophrenic lesbian. neither word is used in series, she isn't in a position to get a diagnosis and queer identities are so normalised in the universe that labels just don't get mentioned, but she is written as both by an author who is also both.

Canon schizophrenia

Canon lesbian with canon schizophrenia

She's a schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Propaganda:

The Locked Tomb is pretty popular on tumblr but I might as well submit her anyway

She’s a lesbian necromancer nun. She’s a saint and also woke up the death of God, who is a human Barbie, who she is in love with, tho she’s also kind of married to lesbian Jesus. She’s schizophrenic. She’s scrungly. She puts bread in a drawer. She’s even autistic

Harrow first started hallucinating (visual and auditory) when she was ten years old! The traumatic brain injury and seizures are much more recent. Unironically gotta love a pov protagonist who makes you struggle along with her in sorting out hallucination and false memory to figure out what's going on. Also while Harrow's disability shapes the narrative, the book isn't at all about her being disabled. It's a fantasy/scifi gothic horror novel about being trapped at a work retreat with God.

so many women want her but she’s determined to be in love with the soul of the dead earth trapped in a 10ft barbie doll instead. she’s a lesbian disaster and is trying to deal with both schizophrenia and over 200 actual ghosts haunting her.

a schizophrenic lesbian, written by a schizophrenic lesbian! she's in love with multiple dead women, but she's also a necromancer so that's not as big of an obstacle as it sounds. weird little bone-obsessed necromancer lesbian. I care about her deeply

Author Tamsyn Muir has discussed how Harrow's schizophrenia is modeled after her own experiences. It matters a lot in her eponymous novel, where her inability to trust what she sees and hears is compounded by her self-inflicted lobotomy to save her girlfriend's soul from getting absorbed into her own.

Harrow is one of the protagonists of her series & both her lesbianism & her schizophrenia play major parts in the story. The author has spoken about how she wrote Harrow based on her own experiences, and the authenticity comes through strongly. Beyond that, she's a teenage gothic nun in love with a holy corpse & she's the greatest bone magician ever born. What more needs be said.

She's a lesbian, she's psychotic, she has seizures, she faints regularly and can't rely on her own memory worth shit. And the only reason she's not going to kill god is so she and her girl can escape the cycle of violence. Basically, Harrowhark Nonagesimus is the entire package.

Anything Else?:

Listen. Listen. I’m not doing Harrow justice here. I LOVE her (Submitter 2)

The author is also schizophrenic! Which is pretty cool. (Submitter 3)

The author of the series is openly schizophrenic, and has mentioned in interviews that she's drawing on that experience when writing Harrow :) (Submitter 8)

Charles Xavier / Professor X-Marvel

Qualifications:

He [uses] a wheelchair. And frequently shipped with Eric Lehnsherr / Magneto.

Propaganda:

Listen, I don't even like this man a lot of the time. But he is gay, and he is disabled. And I love both James McAvoys and Patrick Stewarts portrayal of the character. And as a character I really like him.

[actual-changeling]

i'm actually pretty open to azi or crow having had experience before each other, but i hate when people write in their fics that crowley was a player or imply that he just used people for sex. haven't read it that often thank god but gives me the biggest ick cuz crowley would never. he'd treat everyone sincerely kind and respectful be it a ons or a situationship or whatever. i think it's safe to say that's canon too because we saw he cares deeply, and the way he is with azi mirrors his character in general.

with azi tho i'm not so sure tbh how far his whole using people would go, i'm sorry to say...i love him but he has a history of using people when it meets his ends 😐

Anything that portrays Crowley as being mean/shallow/mistreating people in one way or another is just completely out of character and definitely gives me the ick too.

Before season two, I would have said that Aziraphale would still have a baseline of mutual respect, but after the ball—yeah, no idea where his limits are and how far he'd go if it serves him. We are so used to have Aziraphale and Crowley as our main characters with all their miracles and celestial attributes that, at first glance, the ball seemed fun and sweet (like so many things this season).

It's not though. It's creepy, it's violating, it's Aziraphale abusing humans to put on a puppet show for his own amusement. Crowley is right, making it rain is one thing, rain doesn't force them to do anything, it does not manipulate them.

It's just rain. It's a soft version of playing wingman for them.

The ball however? Actively manipulates their emotions, thoughts, speech patterns, memories, and actions. That's not sweet or romantic, it's fucking horrifying. At this point, I wouldn't even be surprised if he ended up doing even worse things.

[dangermousie]

I confess that the narrative of TTJ in the sect learning how to be a human properly was always my favorite part of the novel even if it wasn’t a romantic portion of the story. So I am so excited the drama kept it (with bits of the Cang Jiumin dream storyline, they meld seamlessly.) 

(I love that he actually gets a name chosen with care and not one that is expression of hatred and bad luck!)

Look at how shocked he is the master is all “the sword is yours, keep it.” He is so not used to care and kindness.

Honestly, it’s little things that get me, like how he’s so awkward being hugged by the blind lady and you realize he’s still not used to being touched in gentleness and love.

It’s just such a pleasure watching TTJ find acceptance and care in the sect - finally a decent parental figure in his master and then also the sect brothers who just accept and like him, do not view him as a monstrosity (he didn’t have such matter-of-fact acceptance even during his emperor days for obvious reasons.) This is the longest stretch of normalcy he’s ever had and he needed it so badly (and the fact that it comes from sect master and brothers he destroyed in past timeline is extra glorious; it does show that we are our choices, we are not doomed to do the same thing over and over.) The fact that he probably got it because Susu broke his fate/curse and so he is not being pushed by literally the Universe into more and more suffering as a goad to turn him into devil god, is an extra bonus. And the thing that gets me so hard is - TTJ aka Cang Jiumin, thrives. He repays kindness with kindness - you watch him be a good student and kind to the old lady and practice well. 

It makes me think of the scene in an early ep flashback where older nanny tells younger nanny that the reason TTJ has difficulty processing or understanding emotions and people is because of his fucked up existence. And she is proven right - he is clearly always an introvert but living a nice life full of physical and emotional caring (he does not go hungry, he is liked, he is taught, he is valued), he adjusts more and more. He soaks normalcy as a sponge and I think learns as much or more from this stretch as he did from Susu. Susu opened up the gate but it’s this time that really puts the seal on it (yes, I am mixing my metaphor.) He needed to love and be loved by at least one person to give the world a chance, but he now has demonstration that not the whole world is awful. Before he hated the world but refrained from damage because Susu loved it, but now perhaps he can learn to love it a little on his own behalf. (And it makes sense his fate was nonstop horror before - if you want someone to turn into a demon god who is in so much pain he wants to erase the universe into nothingness, you can’t give him a glimmer of hope or a positive outlet. You don’t want your would-be world destructor to go “I don’t want to end the Universe because I have a sect dinner on Thursday, and my wife and I are going on a vacay the following weekend, how about we check back in a few millennia.”)

He is so gentle with this random old lady and he’s able to analogize the two of them - that is empathy, really, something impossible for a person they claimed was devoid of feelings; he’s come so far all because he’s had normalcy and care.

And he tries to make her withered tree bloom because she wants it, tries so hard even tho he just met her (and that he tries with the help of charms Susu taught him - he really is a memorial to her in so many ways, a living breathing memorial.)

I love his conversation with the old lady btw, it is my favorite scene in the episode, where they talk about why people live. In some ways, despite his age he is pitifully young since he’s had so little normal experience. This isn’t just a mission to help and old lady, it is a mission to help him too.

The way it turns out she knew and yet still took it, because kindness is rare and precious...

I love his opening up, responding to honesty with honesty, care to care. He is like a mirror to the world, in so many ways, and when all it gave him was pain he dealt pain back, but he is slowly healing, slowly climbing out of his well of misery and abuse and seeing humanity in others and in the process finding humanity in himself.

It’s so interesting how he answers about people, not home, because he doesn’t have a home, not really. Nowhere where people are glad to see him and so there is no home for him because without care it’s just rocks and dirt and why does he care where he is.

Oh God, this killed me.

The way he ponders that!

The way this is written - it’s as if Susu translates the world to him and him to the world and without her as the conduit, he cannot judge his success or his worth or his morality. I am incoherent!!!

It is gutting that all he needed was a little push - a little choice, a little happiness. Look how quickly he learns - like when he talks about his wife to the old lady and old lady asks if he could get his wife back by becoming evil, would he, and he thinks and is tempted but says no because Susu would not have liked it. He has learned to put what she wants above what he wants (a change even from “hate me as long as you are here.”)

The way he figures out how to fulfill the old lady’s wish with his white lie and her response just...

Here he is with the old lady who passed away. I am verklempt....

It really is nature/nurture debate and the answer is pretty clear - if he was brought up with love and care instead of constant trauma and suffering - he would have been just lovely; he is climbing out of that abyss even after all the torment and without it he’d have been there so much sooner. Devil God actually is a manifestation the world’s cruelty creating its own monsters and seeds of its own destruction and I love that.

PS Devil God voice is proof that you can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good (or evil in this case.) He should have taken the body/soul when TTJ didn’t care and was offering but he wanted to wait for the perfect host as opposed to 98% compatible and now he’s living (undying?) proof of the old adage of “you snooze you lose!”

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks to @elsie-writes here, @mysticstarlightduck here, @riverkaplan here, and @somethingclevermahogony here!

My previous questionnaires:

Robbie, Gwen, Maddie, Noelle, Jedi, and Kelsey here.

Carmen, George, Akash, Sam, Lexi, and Ash here.

Gabriel, Carla, Parker, Rose, Alex, and Ewan here.

Liam, Hye-Jin, Wendy, Wade, Issa, and CJ here.

Below the cut I will do: Teo, Niri, Jazlyn, Anathi!

#1- Teo

Do you believe in the paranormal?

“Sis, my boyfriend literally can heal a broken arm in seconds. You would not believe the shit I've seen Parker do just because Wade can heal him. Oh yeah, and Parker literally is an airbender. How can I not? If a vampire walked into the school I wouldn't blink.”

What oddly-specific T-shirt would you wear?

“This shirt that says ‘born to shit, forced to wipe,’ I want it so much you don't understand.”

Do you usually cry at sad moments or happy moments or both?

“Definitely sad moments. I mean, I would not put it past me to cry when happy, but I can't make it through sad movies, man. Not at all.”

#2- Niri

Where is your favorite place in the world?

“I have an easy answer to this. Carla and George have a quiet room in their house. I can go there if I feel too overwhelmed or if I want to be alone for a bit. The room also has good lighting. I like it if someone joins me, though usually just a few people at the same time. Otherwise my reason for going into the room is ruined. [He smiles slightly.] I like everyone in the Aequales. Although there is a lot of people.”

What food do you hate the most?

“I dislike pasta. Pasta is not bad. It tastes good. But the texture really bothers me. I cannot eat spaghetti.”

Do you like watching sunsets or sunrises?

“Yes. I 100-percent love sunsets and sunrises. I am an artist. Maybe that's the reason. I feel inspired. New day, too.”

#3- Jazlyn

If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

“I would wear a tank top and shorts, easily. Why? Well, I think it would be fun, definitely make me stick out among the modest Utahns I'm forced to interact with. But also they show off how good of shape I'm in. And girl, I'm in good shape. It's hard to find pants for me, since I'm mostly legs. So why not show them off? I'd probably wear cute sandals, the necklace Ewan gave me, and my gorgeous hoop earrings.”

Who's the person you trust more than anyone else in the world?

“Obviously, Ewan. He is the kindest person I know. He would never do anything wrong.”

What's your dream job?

“I would actually find sales fun. I plan to get a marketing degree when I go to college next year. It seems fun to convince people what to buy.”

More Jazlyn: OC interview

#4- Anathi

Who in this world do you trust most, and why?

“... I guess Tyler. Kinda by default. He actually listens to me. Always kept promises, too. I relied on him for many reasons.”

What was your favorite place in the world when you were young

“The park. Where I could hang out with other kids. Before my powers kicked in.”

What is your favorite memory?

“When Tyler and I first met, we talked for hours. I would like to experience that feeling again.”

I haven't written for Anathi yet so this was probably only okay. Shorter responses are intentional tho

Your questions:

Tagging @writernopal @aziz-reads @mk-writes-stuff @romances-not-tragedies @little-peril-stories

@evilgabe29 @maggiekwest @chauceryfairytales @pluppsauthor @willtheweaver

@winterandwords @melpomene-grey @i-can-even-burn-salad @mysticstarlightduck @talesofsorrowandofruin

+ ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS

How do you make decisions? Long deliberation, or impulse? Logic or emotions?

What is the best thing that could happen within five minutes after waking up? Does it signal that the entire day will be good?

Is there anything that you find difficult that you feel should be easy?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy

[narrynukezankielover]

Finally got to the siren ep. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. I completely understand why people are obsessed with this ep. A few things tho that got me. When the doctor misses was explaining oxytocin to Sam she said you get it when you are giveing birth, lactating or sex. She even described falling in love to explain her point. Then after Sam specifically said that the siren goes after guys sexually Dean says “whatever floats your boat that’s what it looks like.” They didn’t say anything about people you love like family members or friends them and the doctor specifically were talking about sexual relationships. The siren suggested going to a strip club which obviously is not a Sam thing it’s a Dean thing so it definitely was aiming for Dean. Dean and the siren hanging out wasn’t sexual but when Dean got the spit in his mouth the siren got very flirty. Dean obviously wasn’t giveing birth or lactating the only other thing was sexual arousal. Yes Sam gets under the sirens power too but he had just had sex so the oxytocin is probably still in his system. Plus at the end the siren said he wanted to fall in love again and again. He didn’t say he wanted to experience love he said fall in love. Who the f*ck says they’re in love with their brother. If you are you need help that’s disgusting. The writers tried to make it sound like it was a brotherly love thing but they didn’t succeed. I was actually thinking ok maybe it is just a brotherly thing until I heard the siren say in love.

I also watched On The Head Of A Pin (season 4 ep 16). I found it cute that when Dean and Sam walked into the room Sam had no idea anything was out of the ordinary yet Dean took one look at Cas and knew right away something was wrong that Cas wasn’t the one up front like the other times. I love how much they protect each other when they’ve only known each other a short while. I think Dean only did the tortureing because after talking to Cas and finding out Cas really doesn’t want him to do it he only did it for Cas. He didn’t want Cas to get into trouble and Cas even came to his rescue. Only thing I don’t really understand is why Uriel thought Cas would let Dean die. He was the one that said that Cas has a weakness and that was that he likes Dean. He seen them protecting each other yet he thought Cas would just let Dean die?

Sorry for keep putting up my opinion of the eps but I only have 1 friend who has watched Supernatural and she can’t even remember most of what happened. She literally has Mishas bad memory. Plus she’s half homophobic (she’s not against it but she doesn’t want to see it) so I can’t really talk about Destiel to her.

[aibouart]

i NEEEED to know more about the poylcule

SO THERE'S 4 GUYS AND I MADE A POLYCULE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT POLY WAS AND ONE OF THEM IS INTERSEX AND IDENTIFIES AS TRANS BEFORE I KNEW WHAT TRANS WAS AND NONE OF THEM ARE HUMAN !!

also this is SO unorganised cuz there's 10 YEARS OF SHIT and i can't organise the thoughts so here u go (and also bonus old art in this)

LOOK AT THIS OLD ART!!

LETS GO GAYS!!

since this is a good way to start, i can say from above image it's:

Malamute, Lyo (pronounced Leo), Youkai, and Red

Malamute and Lyo are both shape shifters with a single animal they can shift to. Malamute is... a dog yes. and Lyo is a bird! Youkai is my insane mary sue with a huge list of super powers and an old insert in my daydreams, and i STILL dream as him constantly. Red and Youkai are a primary pairing in the polycule when I used to draw them. i wouldn't say he's a self insert, but i usually replace myself in my memories with him and daydream abt what he'd do instead w his CRAZY INSANO POWERS.

Red is 6'9" and youkai is 5'1" 0) (Red gains another inch anytime someone calls him short)

In their primary universe they are part of a school called the VRS (virtual reality school) where each student is created in the real world in a lab recreating people (sometimes given super powers as a human creation experiment thing but they're usually in a verse where powers are normal). Their physical body is in a lab, but their consciousness is part of the VRS for 4 years before they are awoken irl. this is done by them graduating from the VRS and then being woken up. they can return to the VRS, too, but usually don't do so for long.

because of this, and the weird way their hubverse works, they have memories across maaaany different AUs. any AU that gets repeated for RP or daydreaming with different twists, branches, etc, will usually become part of these memories as the more prevalent an AU is, the stronger the memories become. They will slowly start regaining memories while in the VRS.

despite this, it's very uncommon anyone actually snaps to reality and realises this. most people are vaguely aware that they have memories of multiple different lives but don't put it together.

Lyo always does.

And he's always the first to remember anything, realise they're memories of other universes/lives, and has to just... live with it. But because of it, he's sort of the mom of the group. he's emotionally there for all of them, and does his best to help everyone in the group to connect to each other each time, and cope with whatever memories resurface, or whatever new things they're going through.

as such as he gets on with all of them with little bickering, and is a huge glue to the group even before they end up developing the polycule (again). Youkai and Malamute are the most distant with each other, they're friendly but their natures of being emotionally unavailable and not really talking much to anyone means they rarely get chances to connect. but none of them are like, pressed to force anyone in the group to love everyone equally/the same way, so they're fine w the status quo like this.

malamute is most connected with lyo, though, and still likes to hang out w everyone. he also collects marbles, and likes to build little shelters for cats or other small animals.

(he also has the least art..........)

youkai is heavily aware of the multiverse and can even travel to other verses, at the cost of being unlikely to ever return to where he came from. because of this, he has a very bleak outlook on life, he's just another one of him of the millions out there. he's also the only true immortal of them, when he dies he comes back to life after a few minutes at most (granted if whatever killed him is lodged inside him he will just die again). you can see his insane list of shit here though, it's a lot

youkai would easily kill anyone for his guys tho but none of them want him to, esp red.

red is the most complicated, though. i think he does love them but he struggles a lot with believing his connections are meaningful because he doesn't feel worthy. i also think his extremely warped relationship w relationships in general due to his trauma also makes it hard for him to develop healthy relationships. even tho they look healthy on the outside, internally he's usually doubting them all the time, and doubting himself. he still does his best with his boyfriends (he has... a lot from AUs.. he's a boyfriend magnet..) and tries so so hard to give them all the respect, space, and attention they deserve, but he's quick to be self sacrificial in the process (and in general).

lyo gives him a safe space at his place when he can for red to chill, but red often refuses help because he doesn't want to apply pressure on others, or burden them.

(youkai on right here, this was when i was tryna get used to a new tablet)

also lyo is a sex worker!! he loves his job! he used to be a prince in his original universe where he ran away but it's such an uncommon AU now that it's rarely referenced.

i love lyos' dynamic w red tho cuz lyo likes to tease him and red is very easily teased but everyone else doesn't really have the heart to do that to him

ofc, lyo always tries not to go too far and would quickly apologise if he does.

here's an au where lyo received his memories but they blurred his current verse memories where red's dad was actually killed a long time ago (hallelujah)

one time they got cursed w boobs by a rogue wizard

also here's a good drawing of red's general vibe, he is with Bandit from @conflitdecanard (U DONT HAVE TO REBLOG THIS SAAS I AM SO SORRY)

it was red's first time really meeting another vampire that didn't scare the absolute shit out of him. ( i would love to rp him w more vampires one day..... even if they scare the shit out of him....)

also red is a total open book, his body language is pretty obvious and he's horrible at lying.

but his default is "nervous and anxious".

babie

he's so fucking hard to draw just cuz he's this specific mix of androgynous that makes it too easy to make him too masc or too femme and he has this long face URUGGG he's been haunting my ass since day 1.

he used to be a lot more confident but then he had a backstory.

also i am insane abt him (granted youkai is missing a LOT of art cuz i used to draw him the most but lost a lot of the files).

[br1ghtestlight]

do you have any headcanons for the Belcher family?

SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 50 YEARS TO ANSWER THIS writers block or whatever. I will give u a few each because i like thinking about these characters :)

bob

he is a big fan of 70s and 80s dad rock music and some queer culture music from that era like freddie mercury and cyndi lauper (that he listened to a decent amount growing up next to a gay bar). when the kids were younger he would sing to them in their highchair etc while he was cooking dinner and dance with them, louise and tina were not huge fans of his music however lol louise ends up enjoying more kpop/alt/punk rock music and tina likes upbeat pop music. gene definitely shares his dads music taste tho!! they go to concerts together when gene is a little older

pete (regular at big bob's diner and owner of the gay bar next door) was bob's first gay crush as a kid. kinda stressful bcuz he was coming of age Directly during the aids crisis and having an older queer male figure in his life really helped. he also had a weird gay situationship with one of his nerdy guy friends from high school and they did some..... experimenting together 👀

he has movie nights w/ each of his kids!! he usually watches hawk and chick movies with louise, western movies with gene (or really stupid high school comedy movies like pitch perfect. at gene's request) and basically Whatever romantic comedy or horsegirl movie of the week that tina chooses. he honestly loves all of them bcuz they remind him of his kids personalities and interests <3 these happen usually three to four times a month and he'll let the kids stay up later (until 10pm or 11pm) to watch with him, but they usually fall asleep on his lap before the end of the movie

he let tina and gene give him makeovers when they were younger with mom's old makeup etc. he mostly did it for their sake but he really did enjoy wearing the nail polish, I think he'd look good in black nail polish if he didnt have to wash his hands 500 times a day working in the restaurant. he's very into the alt rock and roll style and aesthetic in theory if not in actual presentation

in his heart he's a punkrocker in reality he is a middle aged dad wearing old tshirts stained with ketchup

linda

when louise was younger (before she could shower/bathe herself) linda was the ONLY person she'd ever let wash or brush her hair when her ears weren't on. linda still gives louise her (very very) occasional haircuts so that her hair doesn't become TOO unmanageable, and she brushes louise hair sometimes just for fun :) louise is the one she always sings the harry truman song to because louise thought it was funny when she was younger

linda's dad taught her how to ride a bike when she was a kid but by the time that gayle was old enough to learn their dad wasn't really. interested in doing that stuff anymore lol. so linda taught gayle how to ride her bike!!! it didn't go super well and there were lots of bruises and tears involved over a four day period, but it's some of gayle and linda's happiest memories together. linda stepped in a lot for gayle when their parents wouldn't put in the effort

linda was actually involved in A LOT of sports when she was growing up!! she was on the school basketball team and did some soccer and track extracurriculars. she was a bit of a jock and she still enjoys playing sports on the rare occasion she gets the chance w/ one of her kids (but she is sliiightly too compeitive). louise is the only belcher kid who is any good at athletic stuff but she isn't super into team sports. she'll play occasionally with linda at the park though. she's also the only belcher family member who can handle linda's competitive spirit, including bob

tina:

started wearing glasses at like five months old bcuz she's farsighted and genuinely couldnt see ANYTHING lol. there exist very few pictures or videos of her as a baby before she got glasses (her infancy was also somewhat chaotic due to the newly opened restaurant and everything so not a lot of time for photos) when gene and louise find a few in an old photo album its GENUINELY like they found a previously lost artifact from ancient egpyt. they've seen tina without her glasses obvs but this was tina BEFORE her glasses!!!! wow!!!

she enjoys cooking w/ bob even though she isn't a particularly good cook. she's anxious around stoves and other appliances which is most of the problem but she also doesn't have a natural talent for it 😭. she helps bob cook dinner sometimes and when she was younger she helped with cooking a special mother's day breakfast for linda (gene and louise were too little to help out)

tina loves both her parents equally but she prefers spending time w/ bob more than linda bcuz he matches her energy level better. they're both anxious kinda quiet and introverted people (tina obviously got most of her personality from bob) so she just likes hanging out with him and going on errands together. tina has a special place in bob's heart too as his oldest child and his firstborn, so they really do love spending the day together whenever possible

gene

when tina is in high school and gene and louise are still attending wagstaff, gene will take his allowance and take louise out to get ice cream after school at least once a week bcuz there isn't anyone around to tell them not to. they both enjoy the time they spend together <3 louise really misses this ritual when gene goes off to high school but they still do go out for ice cream occasionally. and it's only a few dollars but gene likes feeling like he's providing for louise in some way as a Big Brother and spoiling her (even if she pays for their ice cream days maybe half the time)

gene's seperation anxiety is actually A LOT worse when he's without his sisters than when he's without his parents. he can deal w/ a few nights without his parents there but he genuinely does not like being seperated from his sisters for more than a few hours. it's really hard for him & he worries about them so much. luckily there's rarely any reason for them to be apart, and he's a middle child so he'll always be going to the same school as one of them

he thinks bob gives the best hugs out of everyone in the family :) 2nd place goes to tina. sorry linda

louise

she likes drawing!! she wouldnt call herself an artist and she's not exactly trying to be good at art anyway, but she has her desk w/ her crayons and paper and sometimes she scribbles for fun or to express her feelings. she does this on her schoolwork too which makes ms labonz angry but she will admit louise is pretty funny and good at cartoons

she'll be a HUGE anime and kpop fan when she's older but not like stan twitter kpop fans. she'll unironically take pride in her favorite manga being an underrated cult classic from the 80s underground japan scene or whatever. nobody else in her family 100% gets it but tina will watch naturo and one piece with her even though she finds them a little bit boring and hard to follow. tina likes the anime boys

when she's bored in class she draws tattoos on herself in pen/sharpie and when other kids see what she's doing they want her to draw on their arms too. she charges a quarter for each person she tattoos, and she had a decent business going until the teachers shut it down and warned her about ink posioning. SIGH. she'll probably get real tattoos when she turns 18

[imperial-agent]

Hello! I just completed the 5some scene witb Halsin and Astarion and I dont really have anyone to comment this with I hope you dont mind me dropping here real quick to say [SPOILERS]

So... he just dissociates no matter what? I completed Astarion's quest and I could swear that meant he wouldnt dissociate in the scene. But I think what bothers me the most isnt even the dissociating itself but the lack of response from the Player Character. I just LET him?? I dont comfort him, I dont stop the whole thing in its tracks??

And its the only way to get Halsin's backstory?? Am I doing something wrong? I feel so conflicted about the whole thing. Opinions? Thanks for reading this far if you have, sorry for any inconvenience!

I don't claim to be the best source on Astarion lore or on his storyline consistencies/inconsistencies since we're like a bitter divorced couple, I can't talk about him without getting slightly annoyed. But,

I got that exact same scene (5some) after Astarion's story conclusion. To me it makes sense that he's still distant - we fixed his Cazador situation but we didnt fix his sexual abuse issue because he never brought up the trauma. I'm assuming you didnt romance Astarion ang got this scene? For me, a non-Astarionmancer it made sense, since he never told me about his intimacy issues in the first place. But if that happened to you, and you romanced him, then I can still understand him being distant in that moment. He's not that into sex with other people and you just asked him to perform in front of 4 others. I can see how he would default to an auto-pilot. But that's assuming you did romance him. If you didn't then there's not much to be surprised about. He's tired of performing seduction.

To me, it's not that big of a deal that the PlayerCharacter doesn't respond to catching Astarion drift away. Without romancing him and learning about his baggage PC at best can only assume that Astarion is not into sex due to his past of sleeping with his victims and that possibly bringing up bad memories. Since the narraror line about him being distant during the encounter was only a brief mention (narrator mentions PC and Astarion catching eyes for a moment, any further descriptions of his performative behaviour are a general description of the scene since nothing is visible, not necessarly describing what the PC is seeing).

What! I! Fully! Agree! With! You! Is how Halsin's mega traumatic backstory is only ever accessible through a hidden option (i wouldn't even call it a mission, just a random NPC conversation) in Act 3. That conversation could have been naturally implemented into the (currently bare-bone) Halsin romance route. This is why I'm still screaming about letting the players have access to Halsin as a companion in Act 1 already, so that he can go with the PC to the Underdark. That could lead to him having some flashbacks to his time there, and perhaps slipping in some titbits during idk the exploration of the wizard tower in the underdark and him seeing the chain mounted to a wall and that bringing up some nasty memories?? Like the story writes itself, it's all there but I'm guessing the devs had better things to do then flesh out their fanservice and fan demands. Like adding Halsin as a romance options SHOULD HAVE BEEN a post release thing !!!

My opinions are more or less summed up here. It's ass that an abuse victim such as Astarion gets all the special treatment and a catharsis while Halsin, who also went through a traumatic experience doesn't. He actually laughs it off. But that's okay, people cope differently. So why not have us explore his backstory more? Well, it's crunch of course. The devs had no time to put love and care into Halsin even tho him being a romance option/companion (so those conversations about his past wouldn't come up) wasn't even on their initial goal list, just something a few discord people suggested.

I feel like the writers had too much on their plates and too little time to make sure inconsistencies in character motivations/ reactions, backstories don't occur. But we should all be happy Astarion got all the attention he deserved. Oh, you're saying there are other companions in this game too? Since when?

[beardisable]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okay.

so i watched the 8 hour jack stream(jesus) aka watched genloss top to bottom again and listened to his theories and stuff(i really vibe with the "kidnapped as kids" angle more now) and started thinking about some theories he and chat mentioned and.

now im thinking with like. ok its probably a pretty common theory, this post was what prompted this additional idea of mine actually, but ill explain it a bit: the theory that, since sneeg and charlie can come back over and over again, and they have referenced like, refusing to do the cooking challenge in ep 1, and how charlie was playing the mouse trap but ate the cage, they have obviously done the same kind of scenes we saw ranboo do, right. and then in the Announcement video we see the same kind of "missing poster" type headshots of them, with the caption "Found them!"

i dont remember exactly where it was confirmed that showfall made the missing person posters, but like. yeah. these images are for missing posters like ranboo had. and with sneeg being caught by the security in ep 3, he had tried to escape, just like ranboo and charlie. and i feel like this wasnt the first or last time they have tried this!

also, during that screenshot the announcer says "our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, who you may recognize", aka the audience has seen these "actors" before in other things! this is their first live show but what have they made before...?

then, with one of the Very first lines Ranboo says in the first episode, "it wasn't supposed to be like this"... showfall/hetch made it seem like this is ranboos first show and he's being tested for how well he does as The Hero.

I dont think what we saw is Ranboos first time starring in a showfall production.

its the first live thing like the announcement video said but i think hetch lied when he talked about how its a test, i think Ranboo's been here at least a few go arounds, if not tens/hundreds/thousands of times. WHICH MEANS in the end when he gets his memories back... theres an infinite amount of possibility of things they could remember for what they have been made to do in the past :) Bc remember, while this is comedy->horror, it was still relatively tame and non-explicit (at least by my personal standards?) so it is quite possible they have been in more R rated horror stuff, slashers, gore, actual saw, some kind of even worse psychological horror things, but also that they might have had incredibly good experiences like love and joy and community and anything positive too, and to remember all that in a rush... oh boy so i believe it is a circular reproduction, maybe they run through scenes repeatedly over and over while perfecting every little detail and getting different takes of genuine emotion but every time Real and a First experience... some kind of purgatory(omg christian hell reference) or endless torture or such...

ok that got really maybe unneccessarily angsty so heres my other thought:

i love me a fucking colour theory and colour symbolism! it bothered me a bit how like. in the promo game we get ranboo, then green friend/the villain(obviously charlie, tho the villain part still confuses me a Bit since its not quite true?), the blue friend/the taken(obvs sneeg) and then the red stranger/the saviour. and like it would logically follow that the red is hetch right?

jack when theorising said the titles are self descriptive, which i buy into, at least for the first episode context, charlie is the villain role, sneeg was taken(put in a cage and later snatched by the sharkciclester), and hetch was trying to help and save ranboo from this situation! but then in the second ep we also have red puzzler, and red niki? i WISH niki had. any kind of bigger role to build a Saviour type off of her but i dont think she does :( the puzzler is an option, since they make it seem like the puzzler tries to save ranboo? and thats actually a whole other thought like. since we know hetch was not actually helping ranboo, was the puzzler Genuinely helping them, and somehow showfall found out and killed him?? idk ANYWAYS that colour coding falling apart a bit made me think about how ranboo is also red!! rgb trio yknow??

if the titles are self descriptive... well i dont think Ranboo really felt like The Hero much, especcially not in the end...

I think Ranboo is actually meant to be the Saviour.

Esp with the jesus coding! I believe this kind of thing has happened many times before, with sneeg/charlie/ranboo/others realizing that shits fucked, and trying to escape, only to be caught and put back in the production. I think Ranboo(main character syndrome) was in a previous iteration the Saviour, who tried to help sneeg and charlie and others get out of there, to save them, save everyone. but they failed. got captured. once again waking up again with a "it wasn't supposed to be like this..."

and so the cycle continues, and the content wheel keeps spinning.

(ive only been in tumblr tags so feel free to link me any other ppl who arrived at the same conclusion)

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 3, Poll 13

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus-The Locked Tomb

Qualifications:

She's a lesbian and the author Tamsyn Muir has confirmed she's written as schizophrenic, based on her own experience.

Okay SO Harrow is a necromancer nun who is also a huge lesbian. She spends the books of TLT series being super gay and repressed about her emotions for 1. Butch lesbian Jesus and 2. Human Barbie the death of God. She narrates the second book (Harrow the Ninth) and is author-confirmed schizophrenic. She experiences hallucinations thru the whole book and has since childhood. She’s also WIDELY headcannoned as autistic by the fandom (me too) because. Because she IS SO FUCKING AUTISTIC (source: I am autistic too)

Schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Schizophrenic and sapphic

canonically a schizophrenic lesbian. neither word is used in series, she isn't in a position to get a diagnosis and queer identities are so normalised in the universe that labels just don't get mentioned, but she is written as both by an author who is also both.

Canon schizophrenia

Canon lesbian with canon schizophrenia

She's a schizophrenic lesbian with a traumatic brain injury

Propaganda:

The Locked Tomb is pretty popular on tumblr but I might as well submit her anyway

She’s a lesbian necromancer nun. She’s a saint and also woke up the death of God, who is a human Barbie, who she is in love with, tho she’s also kind of married to lesbian Jesus. She’s schizophrenic. She’s scrungly. She puts bread in a drawer. She’s even autistic

Harrow first started hallucinating (visual and auditory) when she was ten years old! The traumatic brain injury and seizures are much more recent. Unironically gotta love a pov protagonist who makes you struggle along with her in sorting out hallucination and false memory to figure out what's going on. Also while Harrow's disability shapes the narrative, the book isn't at all about her being disabled. It's a fantasy/scifi gothic horror novel about being trapped at a work retreat with God.

so many women want her but she’s determined to be in love with the soul of the dead earth trapped in a 10ft barbie doll instead. she’s a lesbian disaster and is trying to deal with both schizophrenia and over 200 actual ghosts haunting her.

a schizophrenic lesbian, written by a schizophrenic lesbian! she's in love with multiple dead women, but she's also a necromancer so that's not as big of an obstacle as it sounds. weird little bone-obsessed necromancer lesbian. I care about her deeply

Author Tamsyn Muir has discussed how Harrow's schizophrenia is modeled after her own experiences. It matters a lot in her eponymous novel, where her inability to trust what she sees and hears is compounded by her self-inflicted lobotomy to save her girlfriend's soul from getting absorbed into her own.

Harrow is one of the protagonists of her series & both her lesbianism & her schizophrenia play major parts in the story. The author has spoken about how she wrote Harrow based on her own experiences, and the authenticity comes through strongly. Beyond that, she's a teenage gothic nun in love with a holy corpse & she's the greatest bone magician ever born. What more needs be said.

She's a lesbian, she's psychotic, she has seizures, she faints regularly and can't rely on her own memory worth shit. And the only reason she's not going to kill god is so she and her girl can escape the cycle of violence. Basically, Harrowhark Nonagesimus is the entire package.

Anything Else?:

Listen. Listen. I’m not doing Harrow justice here. I LOVE her (Submitter 2)

The author is also schizophrenic! Which is pretty cool. (Submitter 3)

The author of the series is openly schizophrenic, and has mentioned in interviews that she's drawing on that experience when writing Harrow :) (Submitter 8)

Tokito Minoru-Wild Adapter

Qualifications:

Experiences flashbacks in response to auditory triggers (including his own name, implied PTSD), allegorical medical condition (his animal hand - canonically progressing in severity, canonically caused by a drug, canonically causes chronic pain), canon amnesiac. Wild Adapter originally began publication in a Boys Love magazine, and Tokito has an ambiguous relationship with his roommate Kubota; they share a bed and are shown to be physically affectionate toward and extremely protective of each other. There's also a couple of mini albums with character songs (some with lyrics by the author) that imply their relationship. Also I'm pretty sure this is official art https://www.zerochan.net/1163520

Propaganda:

He is the world's most pathetic wet cat of a man (he's actually compared to a cat by multiple people in canon), he walks through life with near childlike wonder and immense barely suppressed rage, he thinks about cutting off his own hand, he loves video games, he kills people, he is incredibly traumatised, he has a weird codependent gay thing with his equally traumatised antisocial roommate. There's official art of him handcuffed to a bed.