#this... is the best representation of my exhaustion rn

[akumanoken]

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hiiii, I just read your Blitz x trans male! Hellhound reader and I loved it! It was so sweet and comforting for someone who's also trans male 🥹 and it got me thinking, what if a male hellhound reader met Blitz one day at a bar or smth (maybe reader works there?) and they get to talking, Blitz is low-key already crushing, pass a date or a few and reader and Blitz are happily dating! Now, Blitz has been wanting for reader and Loona to meet, cause why not? Plot twist, reader is Loona's bio dad! How they find out is up to you 🫶🫶 (and it's totally okay if you're not taking any requests rn, just wanted to toss my thoughts out there) but I do hope you have a nice day, drink some yummy water, eat that good food, and stay safe 😁

Haha! Awww. Really? You’re trans? That’s wonderful, I hope I did okay with representation since I am nervous to tackle it. You are beautiful in all bodies but I am happy you’ve found your preferred skin! Trans support for life! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

By the way, I love this! It’s adorable! I think Blitz meeting Loona’s real mom or dad is a cute concept for even a real episode. I can imagine how grateful the parents would be to Blitz for taking care of their puppy! But anyway. Happy to do this, Blitzy is a good boy and I LOVE him so much. You have no idea!

Also also. Everybody. PLEASE stop hating on Blitz. What is going on with him is NOT his fault! You need to step back and look at what happened before bashing him

Blitzø- High-Tell Surprise

Blitzø doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to romantic partners. He has a endless amount of flings and one-night stands but nobody has truly held his heart in the way Fizzarolli did since him, so he shuts himself out from love to avoid the heartbreak

That was all until he met you…

At your job, at a local kinda shitty bat in Imp City. Blitzø was simply exhausted from such a tiring day at his business; running it, arguing with Moxxie, trying to maintain his beloved Loona. All he wanted was to get a bit hammered to dull how aching he is

Blitzø, at first, simply thought you were quite handsome and appealing as you uninterestedly tending the bar he strolled up to. Hellhound as well, he didn’t even know other Hellhounds stuck around this shithole

But hey. He was interested so he worked his magic on you and in no time, he was holding quite the fun conversation with you whilst you were working. Even though, you could have just told him to leave… you didn’t

And he found that very flattering

This became a weird routine he begun doing. He almost immediately forgot about his weird feelings for the Goetia Prince, Stolas and focused more on you to the point that everybody noticed it, even Loona. Coming to the same bar every single day after work, to talk to you and you became his friend in no time

Blitzø isn’t usually the type to make friends with others since he’s quite shielded and closed-off emotionally but yet, he’s still pursuing some type of connection with you and he doesn’t know if it’s because you’re so attractive or it’s because he wants you to be in his life

It felt like everything went by in a blissful blur for Blitzø since all he remembers past up to THAT day is just casual conversations over alcohol that got him wrecked faster than he wants to admit

The mischievous Imp, during his Blitzed state one afternoon at the bar you worked at. I’ll say that it’s become the norm for him to be a regular at your workplace, managed to stumble out something along the lines of;

“Wanna go out with me?”

And surprisingly! You said yes. He almost couldn’t believe it, he never ever wanted to pursue a relationship, out of his fear of intimacy but he can’t get out of this now. He’d have kissed your cute doggy snout right there if he wouldn’t fall over from all the alcohol making his head woozy

You did go on a date with him the next morning… many dates throughout the weeks and eventually, Blitzø decided that weird but pleasant burning beat in his heart is worth to pursue, even if he was so afraid of rejection. He shot his shot and he finally didn’t miss, since now. You’re his hot fluffy wolf boyfriend!

These few months have been even more blissful and kinda blurry than the weeks he spent getting tipsy just to talk to you. He gets to come to your apartment every day, he gets somebody to kiss and talk to, somebody to lean on, somebody to remind him he isn’t alone

Blitzø has introduced you to everybody he loves… being his employees but not the most important one in his life. Loona!

How could he forget?!

Blitzø quickly decides he needs to arrange a meeting inbetween you and his beloved Loonie-Toonie proto since you’re her new stepdad after all. Plus, you’re both fluffy wolfy Hellhounds. He believes it fits and believes that you’ll make a great father figure for his beloved daughter

Okay… he wanted you to be a good father figure to Loona but he did NOT know you were her dad! Holy shit! Blitzø nearly choked on his food when you suddenly picked out a locket necklace, the one belonging to your late wife… the mother of Loona and compared Loona to the baby picture of her

You recognised Loona as scarily familiar, the moment your cute smol imp boyfriend introduced her as his daughter

You and her do very much share blaring similarities physically but Blitzø always figured Hellhounds look similar and never thought much but when you showed off your wife’s locket necklace and compared the picture inside to Loona

Blitzø couldn’t believe his luck… he scored his daughter’s biological father?! And said biological father is actually caring and loving and regrets giving up Loona

Blitzø, the second you revealed this, was ready to kick you out for hurting Loona but when he heard yours and your late wife’s side of the story… he couldn’t bring himself to be angry at you. You did the right thing by saving Loona from a poverty-stricken life

On the other hand, Loona isn’t that happy with you at all

Even so, Blitzø is confident that you’ll be able to repair your relationship with your daughter eventually. He is here to support you all the way and as also Loona’s dad, he will help repair this as much as he can

As he does truly love you, he loves you even more knowing you didn’t just abandon Loona selfishly and did a truly selfless thing for her. You’re a wonderful man, as Blitzø says

By the way, Blitzø finds your late deceased wife attractive and says she is a babe when you show him the pics of her but he respects the fact you’ll always love Loona’s mother, even when you’re with him… hell, he says he’d bang her if she was still alive— that’s just Blitzø

“Hey. Hey. Hey, Bae. Listen to me, I know what Loony said really hurt but she’s just a sensitive soul. I know, she’ll come around, trust me. I know how our daughter is”

[justapayneaway]

This might be long I'm sorry in advance! Lol but I've wanted to talk about this for a while. Since we're talking about liam rn, I have no idea what's happening with liam and zayns careers. I did wish for a long time that liam had better representation and that zayn also signed with someone good but everything has kind of stalled for a while now. I'm happy they got rid of that girl for liam that made no sense and that we no longer deal with gigi. As it seems that being single is not gonna be an actual realistic thing for them, my wish is for them to find a good plan.

If their teams must have them be in pr/bearding relationships, then find someone that will actually boost them but with rules. Something I've noticed in the music vs acting industry is that actors in relationships (a lot of times pr) a lot of the times we only see them in pap pics. They don't post about the person, they don't talk about them in every single interview..they are just seen together and that's it.... think leo and his infinite beards, robert pattinson, timothee chalamet, Jake Gyllenhaal etc.. they don't have to talk about the people they "date" being seen with them is enough publicity. So I feel like if they did that with zayn and liam, it wouldn't be as annoying and exhausting to look at. They would fulfill their contracts and they would also get a boost from a known person. A couple of years ago it bothered me way more but enough time has passed to where I feel less attached..and I wouldn't mind it as much if it was like that. And maybe they would also look less miserable. Less is more! Liam and zayn are too talented to just be the Lauren of 5th harmony 🥴 sorry if there's any fans lol.. I just want them to have their careers on track!!!!!!

Listen, I'm the first one to say that I do understand PR relationships and it's always been done in the industry. It was always a way to get some quid pro quo and as a PR I can't really say it doesn't work or it doesn't have some good aspects to it, especially in promoting certain join projects.

My problem is when things are taken way too far! In Liam's and Zayn's cases things have been just way too crazy. Always the worst possible choices are made in terms of stunts and then things get out of control.

The problem is that apart from Zayn that has been mostly MIA recently, I think things aren't going to change anytime soon. Just look at Liam and his new situation that definitely isn't the best.

I just wish their careers were on track because these two are just so talented and it's such a waste that they aren't out there making music and other things. As always, hoping for the best while expecting the worst!

[notdrifting]

pls be patient with me today guys, i’m mad as hell with some irl stuff my roomates are doing and i’m physically too angry to think straight now, i’ll try and work on some stuff but no promisses bc holy shit i’m so angry rn

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[thousandmaths]

and it’s all just linear algebra in the end...

Hey folks, this is the last of three posts (1 2 3) based on a talk I gave yesterday, based on Steven Griffeth’s lecture series that he gave at the CRM Equivariant Combinatorics seminar.

I’m more or less using this space to write up my talk notes. Since the audience for the talk is a graduate seminar in representation theory, the post will (hopefully) be a lot more dense than the stuff I usually write here.

------

The time has come for us to start pushing toward the rational Cherednik algebra in earnest. This begins with two remarks about the theorem from before, both of which basically say that the PBW condition, which, recall, is

$$ \langle v,w \rangle_g (g(u)-u) + \langle u,v \rangle_g (g(w)-w) + \langle w,u \rangle_g (g(v)-v) = 0, $$

is a much stronger condition on the “bilinear form” than you might think.

First, suppose that $v,w\in V$ and $g\in G$ satisfy the modest condition that $\langle v,w\rangle_g \neq 0$. In this case, we can isolate the first term, divide through by the scalar, and thus see that $g(u)-u \in \text{span}\Big( g(w)-w,~ g(v)-v \Big)$. Again, this may not seem like a big deal, but look at the quantifiers: for a fixed (appropriate) choice of $v,w$ and $g$, this statement holds for all $u$!

So another way to say this is that, for any $g$ which contributes at all to the “bilinear form”, the dimension of $g-I$ is at most 2. In other words, $g$ must have a very large fixspace; and so already you’ve shown that the “bilinear form” doesn’t get any contribution from most of the group elements.

But there’s even more you can say: suppose that $v$ and $w$ are both in $\text{fix}(g)$— which, remember, is very large. Then two of the terms in the product vanish, so you just have $\langle v,w \rangle_g (g(u)-u)=0$. Now, if $g$ is not the identity, there is some $u$ which is not fixed by $g$, and hence we see that $\langle v,w\rangle_g = 0$.

So not only do most $g$ not contribute to the form, but even for those that do, there’s this huge portion of the vector space that doesn’t see its contribution.

------

If we want to understand this entire story as a sort of “$G$-equivariant” version of the Weyl algebra, we can consider $V$ to be of the form $X\oplus X^*$, and we’ll also make the restriction that any element $g\in G$ is of the form $g=g|_X + (g|_X)^*$. This is some formal requirement, but morally speaking, $G$ is supposed to be a subgroup of $\text{GL}(X)$, not just of $\text{GL}(V)$.

In this case, we can strengthen the above two remarks considerably.

For the first remark, note that if $g$ is not the identity, then it already has a nonfixed vector in $X$ and a nonfixed functional in $X^*$, so the dimension of $g-I$ is already at least $2$! So the only way for $g$ to contribute at all is if it is what we call a reflection:

$$ R = \{  r\in G: \text{codim}_X(\text{fix}(r ))=1 \}. $$

( The reason why I use this stilted language here is to emphasize that this is a little bit different from what you might have in mind: a reflection need not have order two. That’s because this is a complex dimension, so you might, say, rotate the non-fixed space by 120 degrees to get a reflection of order 3.)

The second remark tells us that $\langle v,w\rangle_r = 0$ for any $v,w\in\text{fix}(r )$, but in this setting we can also see that for any $v\in\text{fix}( r)$ and $w\in V$:

$$\langle v, w\rangle_r = \langle r^{-1}(v), w\rangle_r = \langle v, r(w) \rangle_r , $$

and therefore $\langle v, r(w)-w \rangle_r = 0$. Since $X$ has the eigenspace decomposition $X=\text{fix}(r ) \oplus\text{im}(r-I)$, and similarly for $X^*$, we now see that even if only one element of the bilinear form is in $\text{fix}(r )$, this is already enough to kill it. We conclude as follows:

Exercise. The skew-symmetric bilinear form $\langle\cdot,\cdot\rangle_r$ is defined by its action on the two-dimensional space $\text{im}(r-I)\oplus\text{im}(r^*-\text{id})$, and hence is unique up to scalars. Moreover, it has an explicit formula:

$$ \langle x,\varphi\rangle_r = \varphi(\alpha_r^\vee) \alpha_r(x), $$

for some choice of $\alpha_r\in\text{im}(r^*-\text{id})$ and $\alpha_r\in\text{im}(r-I)$.

------

We conclude with a definition.

Definition. Let $X$ be a vector space, $G\leq \text{GL}(X)$ be a finite group, and $R$ the set of reflections in $G$. For each $r\in R$, fix some $\alpha_r\in\text{im}(r^*-\text{id})$ and $\alpha_r^\vee\in\text{im}(r-I)$ such that

$$ r^*(\varphi) = \varphi - \varphi(\alpha_r^\vee)\alpha_r $$

for all $\varphi\in X^*$. Finally, let $\kappa\in\Bbb C$, and for each $r\in R$ let $c:R\to\Bbb C$ be a class function (i.e. $c_r = c_{grg^{-1}}$). Then the rational Cherednik algebra $H_{\kappa,c}(V, G)$ is the quotient of $T(V)\rtimes G$ by the ideal generated by

$xy-yx$ for all $x,y\in X$,

$\varphi\psi-\psi\varphi$ for all $\varphi,\psi\in X^*$, and

$\varphi x - x\varphi - \kappa\varphi(x) - \sum_{r\in R} c_r \varphi(\alpha_r^\vee) \alpha_r(x) r$.

This definition is mostly what you’d expect from the story above, with a couple of oddities:

In the last Exercise, we didn’t have that $r^*(\varphi)$ normalization condition. We’ve added it here so that the choice of form would be completely independent of the choice of $\alpha_r$ and $\alpha_r^\vee$. In the exercise above it was only independent up to scalar multiples, and in this definition the scalar multiple freedom is used up by the $c_r$.

[ In fact, this condition is strong enough that it completely subsumes the requirement that $\alpha_r$ and $\alpha_r^\vee$ be in the appropriate eigenspaces: we could have omitted those conditions with no effect on the definition. ]

Also, we didn’t have any conjugacy class considerations arise in this post, and yet the rational Cherednik algebra has a conjugacy class restriction on the parameter $c$. This is not actually an additional restriction: one of the statements of the Exercise from Post 2 was an equivariance condition on $\langle \cdot,\cdot\rangle_g$. If you play with the proof just a little bit, you find that

$$ (g^*(\alpha_r))(x)\varphi(g(\alpha_r^\vee))c_r = \alpha_{grg^{-1}}(x)\varphi(\alpha_{grg^{-1}}^\vee) c_{grg^{-1}}. $$

It is an easy check to see that $g^*(\alpha_r)$ and $g(\alpha_r^\vee)$ satisfy the normalization condition. Therefore we can replace them with $\alpha_{grg^{-1}}$ and $\alpha_{grg^{-1}}^\vee$ because $\alpha_s(x)\varphi(\alpha_s^\vee)$ does not depend on the choice of $\alpha_s$ and $\alpha_s^\vee$, subject to the normalization condition. Hence we see that either the $c_{r’}$ are all equal at all $r’$ conjugate to $r$, or every $\langle\cdot,\cdot\rangle_{r’}=0$ (in which case, who cares what the $c$ is...).

Finally, we have never actually specified any conditions on the bilinear form associated to the identity: $\langle\cdot,\cdot\rangle_I$. Indeed, you can trace the argument to check that there are no restrictions: whether the algebra has a PBW theorem is completely independent of this form. However, notice that for the rational Cherednik algebra we have specialized to the setting where $\langle x,\varphi\rangle_e = \varphi(x)$. The benefits of this choice are played out elsewhere in the theory, but from our perspective we can understand this as an attempt to keep it “looking like” the Weyl algebra.

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[albatris]

Hello! I think it was you I saw a post about making more realistic characters with psychosis (I think that's the right word?), and I was wondering if you have any guidelines or help saved for what to do and not to do with them? Because I'm making a new character right now and it sounds like psychosis might fit with them so I want to see if I could make it work :) thank you so much for any help or nudges towards help that you can give! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hello! Aha yeah that was probably me, or if it wasn’t me that particular time you’re thinking of, it absolutely has been me at some point or another, I’m definitely not quiet about how much I’m on the lookout for realistic psychosis rep. And I’m super happy you’re looking into it! We definitely need more of it! Much excitement on my end over here and good luck with your character-creating and research! I hope you’re having a wonderful day too!!

OK LONG POST

So firstly I wanna emphasise that “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of different symptoms and experiences! And that there are many different psychotic disorders. In terms of psychosis symptoms, most commonly people think of hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. And while you can have a character whose psychosis is limited to those things, because any array and combination of symptoms is possible, this isn’t the case for many psychotic people! There are a lot of other common facets of psychosis that exist that are hardly ever addressed in fiction (and are specific criteria for certain psychotic disorders). I will talk about some of these in one of my lists! This is something to be aware of regardless, but especially if you’re going to be depicting a specific disorder, because often there are a lot more symptoms/criteria that go into a psychotic disorder than people think and you’ll want to do your research on the disorder in question.

Anyway so this is a HUGE question and I’ve broken my response into some lists, we’ve got some lists, we’ve got a general what to do list, a general what not to do list, and a things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context list

some non-exhaustive lists, hey, because I’m sure I’ve forgotten a bunch of things that I’ll think of later and be like Oh Man I Forgot That Thing

and I wanna emphasise re my what to do and what not to do lists, these lists are gonna be fairly general, because without knowing your specific story and the character in question, I can’t cover all the things, yeah? For me to get super specific with these lists it would depend on the character in question, the premise of your story, the setting, the specific symptoms you want to represent, etc, etc…

ANYWAY

LIST TIME

AND READMORE TIME UNDER THE CUT

we’re gonna start with….. (because my first dot point is my most important and literally no other reason)

What not to do

Firstly, don’t freak out. Try not to get overwhelmed! Honestly it can seem like a really huge thing to tackle, but don’t let anxiety about getting it wrong stop you from trying, if you decide that this is something you want to include for your character. You can start small, you can work bits and pieces into your character, you can explore different things and see what happens! Anyone who is writing an experience that they themselves haven’t experienced is bound to make some mistakes, and that’s more than okay! Be open to learning and listening!

Don’t use psychosis for a cheap plot twist or shock value.  Hey, there’s lots and lots of ableist twists and tropes out there involving psychosis. Stuff like “none of it was real, it was just some crazy mentally ill person’s fantasy the whole time!!!!” tends to be tired and stale at best and horribly ableist at worst. Also certain tropes in fantasy settings such as schizophrenia being caused by demons can get real dicey real quick. If you want to go the direction of having some sort of “twist” around it, definitely ask around and get some opinions from psychotic people on it. Like, absolutely, twists around psychosis can be done, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them.

Don’t present psychosis as some sort of horrible dead end or the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. This is something I see a weird amount of? Please do your best not to present psychosis as some awful world-ending tragedy, do your best not to treat it like some sort of fate worse than death. Like absolutely psychosis can be debilitating and exhausting and difficult to deal with at times, but as a non-psychotic author please do not use it as, like, grief p-rn or whatever. Also we end up dying at the end of a lot of stories and that’s supposed to be, like, a relief? Like “oh they never would have had a happy life, this is probably for the best” and like whoa that’s not probably not a great message to be sending. You can definitely delve into some of the challenges and struggles of psychosis but be really mindful of the way you’re talking about it. And the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, fulfilling lives is something that needs to die like yesterday

Don’t have the character’s psychosis only present when it’s convenient for the plot. This goes for any mental illness, and I see it with every mental illness. It’s something that exists in the plot only when it’s cool and edgy, or only when it’s convenient, or only when it’s relevant. Or, the illness will exist, but only the symptoms that the author can glamorise or use for edgy plot purposes. Another way of phrasing this is psychosis doesn’t exist in your story just to make it interesting. It’s not something you can dip in and out of and only commit to when it’s easy or when it suits your story. That doesn’t mean it has to be the sole focus or all-encompassing, but it does mean you need to actually commit. 

If you’re not psychotic, I highly highly highly advise against writing a psychotic villain. And I know me saying outright “don’t write a psychotic villain” is probably gonna strike some nerves for people because blah blah people can write whatever they want and blah blah there’s a way to do everything respectfully and blah blah what if my psychotic villain is a sympathetic character and morally complex and not all bad and look, I get it, I get it, I get it

I’m sure it is possible to write an interesting, morally complex, respectfully-depicted psychotic villain, but that’s not the point, that’s not the problem! The issue is that we have barely any psychotic heroes and protagonists and good guys! We have no positive rep to balance it out! We might have more space for well-written psychotic villains if we had an equal amount of psychotic good guys. Like…. psychosis is terrifying and isolating enough to deal with on its own, but adding to this is the fact that most of the representation we see is in the form of villains, antagonists, killers, etc. and like…. not only is that awful to see as a psychotic person, but fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and psychosis is already misunderstood and demonised enough

This is less a hard-and-fast DON’T DO THIS and more just a very very strong opinion, like, I can’t stop you if that’s what you’re doing but just. something to bear in mind, y’know? 

And now onto:

What to do

Listen to psychotic people in your research! (You knew this one was coming, hopefully!) A whole serious tonne of your research should come in the form of sources by actual psychotic people, like, read their work! Read their books! Read their papers! Visit blogs, visit forums, listen to their experiences! Listen to their experiences of the specific symptoms you want to include in your story! Most importantly, take in what they’re saying and don’t assume you know better than them about their lived experiences!

You’ll get a much better sense of how psychosis affects people and the different ways people deal with it, and you will learn things you would not have even considered otherwise! Medical webpages and articles are fine but if you want a realistic portrayal, this is absolutely not an optional step. I have read way too many books with psychotic rep written by authors who have clearly just………. never actually listened to a psychotic person talk about their experiences in their entire life and it’s actually mind-boggling to me

On this note, I follow a lot of psychosis support and information blogs on here for psychosis reasons, but a lot of these blogs are okay with and happy for people to follow them for learning or to gain a better knowledge of psychosis to support others in their lives or to ask questions about experiences. You can also find a lot of YouTube channels where people with psychosis talk about their experiences. These sorts of things can be a good place to start!

Research psychosis itself, not “writing psychotic characters”. General advice posts about how to write psychotic characters can be a good jumping off point and link to some good resources, but they’re a step removed and shouldn’t form the entire basis of your research. These posts can be great, especially if they’re made by people who experience psychosis, but they’re still meant as a starting point and you should be doing your own research as well. As a general rule, your research shouldn’t come primarily through the lens of “how do I write a psychotic character”, and should very much come through the lens of “what are psychotic experiences?” and “how do people deal with psychosis?” and “how does psychosis affect people?” and other such questions, so that you have the knowledge of to write these characters.

Also, because “how to write psychotic characters” as a google search will lead you through a plethora of terrible pages titled things like “HOW TO WRITE AN INSANE UNSTABLE CHARACTER!!!” and things that equate psychosis to being inherently violent, evil, unstable, dangerous, etc. and, I mean, I shouldn’t have to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing of value to be found in these pages? But hey.

On that note, ableist language is a huge red flag for “hey this source is a bad source”. Be mindful of your non-psychotic sources.

Be aware that there are also negative and cognitive symptoms of psychosis, and positive symptoms other than hallucinations and delusions. So I mentioned this a bit earlier, that there are a lot of other facets of psychosis that I rarely see addressed in fiction. For a lot of psychotic and schizospec disorders the symptoms can fall under the categories of positive symptoms (which “add” something, eg, delusions, hallucinations (auditory, visual, tactile, pretty much any sense) disorganised behaviour, disorganised speech), negative symptoms (which “take away”, eg, lack of motivation, flat affect, reduced speech, social withdrawal) and cognitive symptoms (eg, memory problems, disorganised thoughts, concentration problems, difficulty processing information). For most people with psychosis there will be a range of symptoms across these areas. Even if you’re not currently experiencing positive symptoms, negative and cognitive symptoms can be affecting areas of your life as well.

Of course, it’s definitely possible to experience only a handful of symptoms and there are plenty of people who experience some symptoms of psychosis outside of having a specific psychotic disorder, so it depends on what applies to your character. That being said, it is something I would love to see a lot more of in fiction because it’s………. honestly a really huge part of psychosis experience for a majority of people? And it can really help a realistic representation, as well as giving some visibility to other, less-known effects of psychosis. THAT being said, if you are writing a specific disorder such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective, etc, including other symptoms is definitely not optional. There are a lot of cookie-cutter representations of disorders like schizophrenia that barely cover half of what schizophrenia actually involves. Again, research is ur best bud

Understand that for a lot of people, psychosis isn’t really a switch that flips from ON to OFF. What I mean by this is for a lot of people, while psychosis can come in episodes, it affects most of a person’s life one way or another. Like for me personally, even on my best week, it’s still something that shapes the way I understand the world and it’s a lens through which I interpret the reality around me. It’s not something that disappears completely. It’s not something I can untangle from my gender and my sexuality or my experiences of religion or my relationships, it’s not necessarily something I can untangle from myself as a person. I have a different relationship with the world around me, and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice thing. Sometimes it’s a difficult thing. Mostly, it’s just a thing. So when you’re writing a character who experiences psychosis, consider the ways it might present itself and what affects of it might be present outside of an episode. This might be in the way they see the world, or the way they speak, or the way they go about their every day life such as rituals or safety or clothing choices or things they avoid. Honestly there’s such a huge diverse range of experiences and it will depend on your character.

Understand that no two experiences of psychosis are going to be the same. Again, “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of symptoms that can come in any number of combinations and presentations, and even two people with the exact same set of symptoms can have those symptoms expressed in entirely different ways. Even two people with the same disorder are going to have different experiences of it. And beyond the differences in psychosis itself, the experience of psychosis intersects with other aspects of a person’s identity such as sexuality, gender, race, religion, etc. in fairly major ways as well. There’s not a “one size fits all” when it comes to experiencing psychosis. Consider what sorts of experiences might impact your character and understand the diversity of experiences! Research, research 

Remember that first and foremost, you’re writing a character. They have a life, opinions, likes, dislikes, neighbours, goals, whatever. Their experience with psychosis may be something that shapes their life significantly and something that affects a lot of other facets of their experience, or it might not be, but either way it’s not the only part of their identity. Your character should be just as varied and nuanced and in-depth as any of your other characters. 

and now a definitely non-exhaustive list but a list that’s good enough for now considering my brain is fried:

Things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context

Casual, everyday depictions of going about life with psychosis. I mean, this is just in general, in general I would love to see more representation in fiction of mentally ill characters going about their daily lives alongside Whatever Nonsense is going on in the main plot, where it’s acknowledged that they’re also attending therapy or taking meds or dealing with symptoms or in treatment. I think it can go a huge way in the normalisation of people dealing with mental illness and the fact that mental illness is a part of some people’s lives. I would love to see this specifically in stories that aren’t About Mental Illness. Like, an urban fantasy story where a character is shown casually taking their meds? Or a YA story where a character mentions they can’t do a particular thing ‘cause they have a psych appointment booked for that day? Or characters using coping strategies and it’s not treated as weird or other? Just, characters with psychosis, existing, in their every day lives

Supportive friends and family, or good support networks in general. Partly because I’m a sucker for found family tropes and cheesy power of friendship stories, but like, psychotic characters with friends who support them and understand them and who help them with their coping strategies! Psychotic characters with healthy support systems and friendships! Psychotic characters who get to goof off and have fun with their friends, and who get to support and help their friends! Psychotic characters who get to have romantic relationships with supportive partners! 

Happy endings! I mentioned this earlier, too, like…… in terms of representation, so much of what’s out there is either psychotic characters as villains or psychotic characters dying tragically, and this over and over and over again, y’know, eventually the message being driven home is “there is no good ending for you!” which is………. bullshit, obviously. But it can be terribly isolating and scary to internalise if you’re experiencing psychosis, and even if you know it’s bullshit, it’s exhausting! You want to see yourself represented as someone who has a future and can be happy! As I said earlier, the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, whole, fulfilling lives needs to die, and we are in dire, dire need of stories with good endings for psychotic people.

Explicit representation of specific disorders. I was going to say that schizophrenia is something most people think of when it comes to psychosis representation in fiction, but like, honestly, a lot of those writers don’t even do the bare minimum research for what schizophrenia involves and they have a really stereotyped version of the disorder that they clearly haven’t researched at all……. but anyway yes, my point is, there are a lot of different psychotic disorders, and I would love to see some of them represented explicitly, and not just left vague and unlabelled. I would also like to see accurate, well-researched, actual representation of schizophrenia. I would also like to see psychotic depression! Or schizotypal personality disorder! Or schizoaffective! I’d like to see some actual names

Anyway that’s all that’s coming to me right now even though I’ve probably missed like fifty things for each of these lists……………… I hope that this has been a little bit helpful, maybe, somewhat, perhaps, who knows, I reserve the right to come back and say more things,

[neojeno]

why do you hate armies? we're like really chill idk

Lmao my inbox starts working again and this is the first ask I get.

Anyway… hi hon, you obviously haven’t been following me for very long— maybe you aren’t following at all! Whatever, the point is, I don’t hate armies. I hate prejudiced, annoying little shits who have to make everything about themselves. Oh quick note, why do you assume I hate armies? I haven’t made any recent posts regarding BTS or their fandom.

Anon, I was once an Army. I created this blog for the sole purpose of stanning BTS. Trust me, I think BTS are great. I absolutely love their music. I have several of their physical albums and went to one of their concerts (which was, by the way, one of the best times of my life). However, I have since left the Army fandom and, by the state of my blog, become an NCTzen living in NCT’s world (NCity). Why did I leave the Army fandom? Well, actually, there was an in-between part where I was stanning NCT and BTS at the same time. I’ve been into BTS for the past three years now and NCT? Only the past four months. I might be a good representation of that one pretty funny post that was floating around for awhile about how BTS wrote “Don’t Leave Me” because half of their fanbase was leaving them for NCT. NCT just came back at the right time and I was given the lovely opportunity to stan another incredibly talented group! Oh author’s note: don’t hate on the multi-fandom stanners, it takes a lot of fricken work to keep up with a lot of different groups and they’re just spreading the love bc there are so many talented idols out there! Anyway, I got into NCT naturally and I have just grown to really really love them. At some point, I just sorta stopped posting about BTS and you know what? That’s fine, it’s my blog and I can post whatever the fuck I want. Now, the truth is that I still really really love BTS. Their music is amazing and I still really love them— just as much as I always have.

But here’s where I might be able to get at what you’re asking: I haven’t left BTS, I’ve left the Army fandom. Why? For a couple of reasons: When I stan groups, I like to give them all my attention so I know what’s going on and so I can support them as much as I can— so that’s why NCT is my main concern/focus right now. I just really love them, what can I say? So that’s why I’m just posting a lot about them. Sure, I’m a part of like one BTS network, but I don’t feel like I even deserve to be called an Army anymore if all I’m posting about is another group. Idk, it just doesn’t feel right. Anyway, the second reason is that, after having become an NCTzen (wow I’m really talking as though I’m morphing into different beings or something), I’ve started to see a lot more into the Army fandom. Remember when I was talking about how there was an in-between stage when I was sorta stanning BTS and NCT at the same time (just look back through my archive,, sometime in March was that part of my life)? I started to view Armies (remember I’m talking about the fandom not BTS) as an outsider. I didn’t feel like I was one of them anymore (now that was one of the signs that told me I was already leaving, gone). I started to see the more toxic side of the Army fandom because I was no longer consumed in it. When I was still hardcore stanning Taehyung (and seriously he is the loml but Jeno’s sorta taking that spot now oof) and really into BTS, I was quite blind to the toxic environment that is sometimes the Army fandom. When I started stanning NCT, I started subconsciously comparing (it’s just a natural thing human beings do,, you might not want to, but you subconsciously pick up on what’s different about the different things you’re involved in) the NCT fanbase to BTS’s fanbase. that’s how i started to see the things i didn’t like about the Army fandom. Of course, all that I’m about to say doesn’t apply to all Armies and all that I’m about to say doesn’t have to be the image/reputation of the Army fandom (I am one person and if my words have that much of an effect on you then I suggest you reflect on the state of your emotional security), but from my experience, I’ve seen a few things the Army fandom, in particular, perpetrate that I’m uncomfortable with: One is that the BTS members are hypersexualized. BTS smut is all over the place. (I may be a horny teen but idk I sorta just wanna focus on college) People talk about Jungkook like he’s a meal in the most ordinary situations. Second, Armies tend to equate BTS to Kpop and, as someone who’s grown up listening to Kpop her entire life, I just can’t deal with people who think BTS are the only relevant group around here. Third, and along with my second point, I often see Armies making comments about BTS when BTS literally isn’t involved. Like, stop making everything about your favs??? I og stan B.A.P and when “That’s My Jam” came out, Armies in the comment sections were like, “omg Youngjae’s orange hair looks like Jimin’s” — umm like omg you don’t have to fucking make everything about yourself Youngjae looks like Youngjae!!! When Jonghyun passed, @/mimibtsghost made a post telling her followers to be grateful that, unlike Jonghyun, BTS is under such a caring agency and if you don’t see something wrong with that fucking comparison in that sort of fucking situation then fuck off my blog. Anywayyyy,,,, last and probably most influential in my leaving of the Army fandom was the fact that I no longer felt close to the fandome. My old blog (which was dedicated to BTS) had 1k followers but I didn’t have a single mutual whom i talked to often. I didn’t even realize how lonely that life was until I joined the NCT fandom. Oh author’s note: I’m using my experience as an NCTzen to reflect on what I realized I didn’t have/didn’t like about the Army fandom— not to put NCT on a pedestal. Anyway I follow quite a few big bts blogs and stuff and what I’ve realized is that a lot of people just follow the big blogs and pretty much (for lack of a better word) worship them. Now this isn’t shade on the big blogs, this is shade on the fact that, at least in my 3 years of experience as an Army, the fandom doesn’t feel tight or close. And guess what? That’s my opinion and my experience. Who knows? Maybe I legit just don’t know how to make friends. But in addition to that, I just see a shit ton of drama even within the Army fandom and it’s just exhausting. Oh that’s another thing, when I was an Army, it was fucking exhausting to see fights break out within the fandom or to see fellow Armies starting fights with other fandoms and then think to myself: well at least I’m one of the good Armies. I mean idk about you but now that I’m living the good life and having a better time, having to reassure yourself with that sort of thought is depressing and quite reflective of the Army fandom itself. Armies themselves know they can be awful sometimes.  

Anyway, I don’t necessarily hate Armies. I love that people are supporting BTS because I really do think BTS deserves all the recognition they’re getting for their hard work. What I hate is the shamelessness and disrespect that some people exhibit and don’t excuse because they think they’re insured by BTS’s top-of-kpop status (this isn’t sarcasm,, if you’re asking me to be objective I actually believe BTS is riding the peak of kpop like icing on a cake rn and I’m proud of them). Because the Army fandom is just so freakin huge— maybe like 40% of the world are Armies now (again, great! I’m glad BTS is getting a lot of love), it just happens to be that most of that sort of behavior is concentrated in the Army fandom.

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, good for you. Honestly, im sorta glad you asked this. This was a way for me to sort out my own feelings about this, too. if you’re frustrated with this answer, you can send hate but you’ll still just be frustrated by yourself. As RM once said, “I like hate comments more than no comments.” You know the rest. Sorry your words don’t hold much power if I’m unaffected. I just don’t give a fuck. ~h

[miyukitsubaki]

Why is Miyuki Kazuya so great💜 Masterpost~

*For starters, we can safely say that he is one of the best captains in sports anime history. Don’t we all agree on that?

-Recorded one of the most (if not the best) profound and thorough character development of the series. He was a snarky, full of himself and arrogant little first year when we firstly laid eyes upon him (bless that particular face btw) and gradually evolved by being in contact with his old and new teammates, building himself, nurturing his own knowledge and vision while he stood firmly by his pitchers' side, assissting and helping them as well in their own development.

-An adorable, dorky, awesome, self-sacrificing, twisted, sarcastic, a little bit egoist and immensely kind genius that doesn't let other people's judgments and mean glares rule his life, follows his path with his head held high, without losing sight of his objectives and sends flying all of his troubles with a smile and a swing of his bat.

- One hell of a hard worker, I'm sure he was training just as hard as his pitchers and from everybody’s eyes, maybe even harder than them, but doesn’t like to show it openly. Always prompt to irony, faithful adept of the “Me? Using sarcasm as a defence mechanism? Naaah”, gay for Kuramochi but everyone knows it, soft spot for his pitchers, able to show adaptation in every situations, hardly feels fear and is always daring, his playstyle being described as very agressive.

-Had no choice but to grow up on the spot, following their fated defeat against Inashiro. Accepted the pain and the regret in the short span of one night (in which he probably didn't sleep much) and used his bitter frustration into a plateforme from which he propelled himself and took the reins of this team in his own hands.

-A lot of meaningful character development for him at the beginning of season two, among the chaotic confusion that was the reorganization of the team, with a lot of characters who themselves evolved. Let's not forget that he genuinely lost his confidence a couple of times, especially when he got into this argument with Zono about Nabe. He literally painfully learnt from his errors in the spot and, regretting some of his words, apologized to Nabe from the field.Which was absolutely cute as Nabe knew how much it meant for Miyuki.

- A lonely child, who probably lost his mother and had to educate himself almost on his own. Getting his ability of learning quick from that, always had to fend for himelf as well as to tend to his wounds... I mean, go and try to find a bravest kid than him, he is also so relatable and an example for all the children who had to get through this kind of hard moment in their lives. And despite of all this shit, his huge grin wasn’t budging from his face, even if he was feeling down inside he didn’t show it on his angel face, stood up and move forward, purely motivated by the love of the sport (”I don’t care about everything if baseball is fun!” episode 46). Fate awarded him by making him meet wonderful teammates an rivals.

- Found the best bro he could have hoped to have in the person of Kuramochi Yoichi (They’re soulmates, fight me rn). They just fit perfectly together and won’t have it any other way. (If those two don’t go in the same university or pro team, I’m gonna lose it). Kuramochi’s the one for him.

-Had the courage to go out of his comfort zone and talk about his captain insecurities (which is something he wouldn’t have considered to do in middle school) to one of his mentors, nonetheless being a very proud person who hates showing his weaknesses. And offered us one of his most pure and emotional face.

- Did an immense effort on himself by hiding his pulled muscle from everyone, and showed again his incredible iron will.

As Mochi so perfecty said it, it was a mix of ego as talented and key-player and sense of responsibility as the captain, but also the catcher of his team since his first year. I had so many feels it hurts during the couple last episodes (and so did all of you don’t lie;)) but it really pulled some sensible strings in my heart because this boy...*sighs from fondness* ...is just a plain closet tsundere as he finally lets us hear the voice of his heart in episode 50 of the second season. When he laughs that very specific voice, and that everyone just looks at him and he thinks: “ I don’t want to give up such a fun position to anyone! I’m not suited to be a captain, am I?”. Knowing perfectly that he won’t be giving up this position either. Everything about this scene was perfect; from the movement of his bangs under his helmet, his arms widely expanded to his teammates as he was welcoming them for the first time, face stuck between exhaustion, pain, euphory and pleasure of playing here and his favorite position.

-I think there is not a single trait of his personality that id don’t absolutely love, because he is a perfect representation of what’s good and fragile in the human nature and can be considered as the archetype of what human beings can draw from their hardest time, as long as they don’t give up and keep on rising  themselves up, struggle, struggle, and struggle again to get their hands on what they deeply want. Be strong physically and mentally. This golden boy is the definition of harduous determination, the embodiment of honed and overflowing talent and wits, the perfect marriage between a genius and a hardworker (reminds me of Shin Seijuro from Eyeshield 21 in that respect), but who possesses a underlying fragility and a strong sense of responsibility growing each day. Special mention in the final scene (which made my fangirl kokoro go aazertyuisdiojezfyuysqhi) when Kura and Zono got him to the taxi on the way to the hospital, the pain got his tongue loose and he let out his most buried anxiety, his fear of not being able to fit the position of captain, the I’m not good to be a captain having a completely different tone from the euphoric one he had used at the end of the 50th episode. Exhaustingly proposing his position to his vice-captains, telling them to taste what it’s like (”It’s haaaaard”).

-Never takes for granted what surrounds him, as he is used to fight for what he wants and probably still thinks the number he is proudly bearing is not fully his own, constantly having the image of Chris in head. Having a goal on an individual level is what motivates him the most I think. “I have a feeling I will never win against this person”.

-Another special mention at the end of the first season, when they played against the retired upperclassmen.

He told Furuya to stop thinkng about his pace or rhythm and to give it his full power. Surely, at this moment he also had an epiphany as he realized that the only way for them to cut through their problems of coordination and lack of power was to do like always; train hard again from the start and everything woud click in place. Their trainings didn’t betrayed them, and the upperclassmen showed them that amazingly. “Let’s shut down the senpais by force!”: his carefree tone of the moment was in perfect contrast with the seriousness his words dripped of afterwards: “If we win the fall tournament, we’re secured to go to Koushien.” And he was one hundred percent aware of the weight and meaning of his words. And they managed to did it.

There is to much things to develop and say and fangirl about this perfect guy but I thin that I got pretty well resumed here! My gift on this special day in our hearts, and have a nice evening! 💜 Happy birthday Kazuya~

[idleorbitals]

mm I dunno if this issue needs any more cents added to it this at this point, but for what it’s worth, here’s my two:

1) that video yesterday left me feeling exhausted and disappointed. I’m sure this has been well explained already, but the issue isn’t that they were saying there wasn’t going to be anything romantic b/w kara and lena...most shippers know that already. the zealous, emphatic tone both Jeremy and Melissa adopted was out of line, mostly because that sort of response has been a consistent reaction to queer fanon ships, and is practically never present in discussion of het ships, even if they’re never going to happen. It’s not that Jeremy/Melissa /hate queer people/, it’s that they’re still working under this broader heteronormative perception that queer ships are a delusion of weirdo fans, rather than a product of queer people struggling to find representation in a media that largely ignores their existence.

2) you don’t hafta be a homophobe to say homophobic shit. you don’t have to be actively racist to say racist shit. etc. ‘but I’m not homophobic’ is not a defense! it’s a deflection! towards sympathy for your bruised conscience and away from the people you hurt!

3) ...so Jeremy’s first apology bugged the hell out of me. not least because “dear kids” is either terrifically patronizing or an admission that he understands that a large part of the demographic he was effectively mocking were actual children/teens.

4) Jeremy’s second apology/subsequent behavior made me a lot more hopeful. obviously he’s gotten a major lesson, and no matter what he’s got in his own head/heart rn, all signs point to him necessarily being more careful about this kind of behavior in future.

5) this dialogue is important! feel lucky to have Katie standing up for the fandom /effectively against a group of peers and before any of them experienced ramifications for their actions// which is v impressive; feel lucky to have enough accessibility to start a conversation directly with Jeremy/others involved about these issues and the power of their voices.

6) yeah, still disappointing that Melissa/other cast members haven’t stepped up to the plate, but

7) please let’s remember to embrace positive change and growth. nobody wins if we don’t. there is no need to /just move on/, nor is there any need to actively participate in this conversation if you’re already hurt and tired over this. but let’s be careful to raise our voices in ways they’ll be best heard as much as possible

my thoughts go out to anyone who this has been a blow to, especially to younger people or those who are still feeling starved for acceptance and recognition. you are visible and you are heard and you are loved. 

xx

[simkjrs]

ch6 asks, cont’d.

Anonymous said: read the latest chapter and honestly even though im screaming in agony, i absolutely love this drama. i really cant wait to see where youre going with this. it also makes me happy to see you make so many good characters autistic, it feels nice to be able to relate to actions. also, izuku's entire internal conflict in this chapter? BIG MOOD.

fdjdkljf happy to hear someone’s enjoying it!! also, thank you for the feedback -- it’s nice to know that i’ve done alright,representation-wise. :^)

Anonymous said: just wanted to tell you that i'm at the spot when izuku basically tells it like it is to kacchan. and it's pretty much spot on. from what i can tell. from real life experiences. I sincerely hope that this time in your life is past if you've had to experience something like this or you have people you can turn to. otherwise, dude, you are scarily good at writing. i'm seriously afraid of how this conversation is going to turn out. the chapter's really beautiful and honestly just inspiring. thank u

this is such a nice ask i didnt know what to do with myself after reading it? 

no comment on my real life situation except that everything’s fine right now. i haven’t experienced everything that izuku is dealing with (or at least.. not to that degree?) SO i’m just extrapolating beyond my own life & experiences, and also incorporating what i’ve learned by reading through accounts by people who have actually lived through these things. thank you for writing in, and thank you for your concern 

@ceilingbattles​ said: I just wanted to say thank you so much for the new chapter <3 honestly its my favourite fanfiction, and I just really appreciate all the work you put into it, its amazing!!! (I don't have an ao3 account, just really wanted to let you know). Also just wow. that was a chapter. 100% worth it, I will read it repetitively on my phone as I have the rest of the fic.

thank you!! it’s really nice to hear that, and i feel incredibly honored to have written someone’s favorite fic. i hope it continues to live up to your expectations!

Anonymous said: i feel like byggualom! izuku and suneater would get along very well. kindred spirits kinda thing

both of them have massive anxiety so they can definitely empathize with each other, and i think izuku would do his best to accommodate suneater! it would be really exhausting for izuku though, i think, so while they’d get along well i don’t know if they’d be good for each other for extended periods of time. anxiety echo chamber

@aliceofbrokendreams​ said: Can I give you a hug? Cause if writing the first half invoked as much emotion as it did in me reading it, you should have one.

yeah... it was really hard writing this chapter. thank you 

@slightlyobssesive​ said: I would just like to say that this chapter took me four hours to read and then another one to compose myself to type this. On one hand I absolutely adore you because some parts had me so happy and the portrayal of Izuku's abuse is handled so well. On the other hand though I am cradling my heart that has been shattered into about 3 million pieces and screaming why because this chapter emotionally destroyed me. I cannot properly express my current feelings in this small amount of space just WHYYYY

im sorry but also im completely not sorry, THANK YOU FOR READING DESPITE YOUR DEEP PERSONAL SUFFERING 

and also thanks for your feedback re: the representation of izuku’s abuse! i’m glad i was able to convey it well!

@abrcmhatford​ said: i uh wanna say that i really appreciate how you're handling izuku's reaction to realizing that yeah, it was abuse, because people brush over the recovery a lot, and i've been in izuku's shoes and i think you captured the entirety of it really well. it's rough and it's really hard and it's still hard and i like how you didn't just ignore the gritty details and kept pushing. thanks

yeah! i wanted to write something that was about recovery, and moving forward, and doing your best despite your circumstances. i pulled on my own experiences with depression and other things to try and write this, and what i learned, so... i’m happy to hear it resonated with someone else too. i hope that you’re out of that situation now, and that things are better for you. thank you for your feedback. it means a lot to me. 

@angryqueermermaid​ said: you. absolute motherfucker.

alright now that name calling is out of the way I must say that you have the BEST portrayal of depression and anxiety I have EVER seen. like. holy shit my guy. the entire ch I was just like. "same? same. SAME." and, well, while that was a fucking kick in the pants, it was so.... confusingly cathartic??? in a good way??? to watch izuku struggle with the shit I have felt, in ALL aspects of life like being vunerable and/or high energy/socialization settings. fucking. GOD MY KOKORO.

FUCK WHAT I'M TRYING TO IS THAT YOU DID GOOD

i once saw a quote that said something like, “if you want to make someone a monster to society, first make sure they never see themselves in your stories.” it’s a morbid quote, but i feel like it explains well why it’s so meaningful when you see yourself reflected in a story. i know the first time i read a chinese-american protagonist, and one who wasn’t interested in romance to boot, i was in junior high and it made me so happy because i’d never had that representation before. 

that’s one of the reasons i write so many characters with mental illnesses or trauma -- i don’t see enough of us in mainstream stories, and i think those stories need to be told, just so we can remember that we aren’t alone. i’m really glad you found catharsis reading chapter 6, and that i was able to catch some of those struggles you go through. thank you for writing in!

Anonymous said: OF COURSE YOU POSTED YOUR LONG-AWAITED SIXTH CHAPTER IN JUNE

and yet, i missed the anniversary!!!! a failure!!!!

Anonymous said: sometimes I just go to your blog to make sure you're okay. like of you're blogging then you're either okay or trying your hardest

i’m not actually sure if this was a ch6 asks but it was sent with the rest so. thank you. it soothes me to know that someone out there is thinking of my wellbeing, because i sure don’t and i guess someone has to. (but in all seriousness, that’s really sweet)

Anonymous said: Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I loved the chapter 6 a lot! As a writer, I can understand not being entirely happy with your work, but as someone who recently got out of a very unhealthy situation, it makes me happy that you put it up anyway! Izuku's recovery mimicked mine in a lot of ways, especially the coming to terms with it. His talk with Yagi about grief hit very close to home, but also was very inspiring, if that makes any sense!! So sincerely, thank you so much! ^u^

i’m really happy to hear that!! i tried to catch the feeling / moment i had when i was getting through my depression, where for two weeks or so i was so miserable all the time and just wanted to... stop. it’s hard to explain, but one day i got up in the morning and knew that i was just tired of all this, tired of stagnating in the same place and tired of being miserable all the time, and maybe i couldn’t get rid of my depression but at the very least i had to try. if i was able to convey any of that through izuku’s conversation with yagi, then i’m satisfied. thank you!!

Anonymous said: Thank you for sharing your writing with us

and thank you for appreciating it! <3

@chocowl​ said:  From start to end this was a rly good chap. The recovery process, the relationships, and everything else was so good. I esp liked how Izuku mobilised his network and how Katsu got some Consequences. And Mitoki... much gold as always! Altogether: thank you for this journey! I loved it and i love you for creating such amazing content. Ihope you have an amazing day and time! :) xoxo

(sorry i split up your asks into two different posts! categorization purposes...)

i’m really glad you enjoyed that!! i worked so hard on the emotional atmosphere of this chapter, haha. glad to see it paid off. <3 <3 thank you for all your feedback, too, and also the really nice art you’ve made for me!

Anonymous said: someone made a pinterest board for The Fic! it looks p small rn (111 pins?) but its kinda cute

i don’t have a pinterest account so sadly i can’t zoom over and check it out, but wow... i’m really honored!! thank you for letting me know! 

Anonymous said: later, when Eri comes in- what would happen if byggualom!izuku was shot by Eri's quirk-removing drug? everyone's expecting something to happen but Izuku would be fine, considering he has no quirk (as far as he knows?)

muscular used izuku’s body to smash a concrete sidewalk into smithereens and izuku didn’t have so much as a scratch, one of the quirk-removing drugs’ bullets wouldn’t even have a chance. so actually, everyone’s question would be “what the hell is up with your skin” 

anyways, if you’re wondering if we’ll ever get a reveal, don’t worry. it’s coming. :^)

[cynthiadshaw]

#LadyBoss: redefining what a boss looks like

Too many of us grew up only seeing one kind of boss or leader in the media. The lack of representation for other groups reinforced harmful stereotypes and acted as a self-fulfilling prophesy, but would our opinion of what a leader looks like be different if the media did a better job at representing the true diversity of leadership in America?

Women and other under-represented groups are already leading many great companies, organizations, & academic institutions; others are authoring best-sellers, building engaged audiences, leading movements and more.

We had the honor of connecting with many of the best and brightest female leaders from in and around the city and we asked them our question of the month: What is the best advice you have for someone who feels like they are facing insurmountable odds.

We encourage you to check out the female leaders we’ve highlighted below, follow them on social media if you find their work or story interesting and most importantly do your part to #fightstereotypes

Catalina Freeman | middle school reading teacher turned domestic engineer | lifestyle blogger

When facing a challenge you feel is insurmountable I think it’s best to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Success takes time and hard work and it’s okay to move one step at a time in the right direction. The key is to do it consistently and to believe in yourself because you are your own biggest critic.

lifewithcandg.com  @lifewithcandg

Irina Pizzurro | Executive Flower Wizard at Iris & Iree Floral Co.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It can be easy to lose hope, faith, or feel shame when faced with challenges that seem impossible. It pulls up all sorts of emotions. I always try to remember that everyone has a starting point and that progress is not linear. Remembering that restores hope for me. Having the right mindset is important. I also believe in the power of words and manifesting. If you want it so bad you feel it in your bones, it can be achieved. It just takes hard work and patience.

irisandireefloralco.com  @irisandireefloral   

Takesha Austin | Empowerment Life Coach for Millennial Women

Whenever I get to a place where I feel that I am facing a “giant” that is larger than me, I digress & remember exactly how I made it through the last battle. I am never fighting alone, in fact me knowing the outcome will work for good gives me peace & endurance to keep pushing! My bible says “All things work for the good of those who love the Lord.” This is how I fight & WIN! With Gods word, faith & TRUTH.

KeshaAustin.com @CoachKeshaAustin @CoachKeshaAustin

Katherine Bahlburg | Fitness Professional & Founder of Bells and Barbells: Wedding Fitness Studios

In life we all come across moments where we doubt our own abilities and we second guess what we are capable of. When that happens, and we let the self doubt takeover, we miss the opportunity to grow. When things feel insurmountable, remember, greatness is lying on the other side. People often ask me how I came up with my business and my answer isn’t what most people think it will be. They imagine that it was instant, and BAM…in comes this brilliant idea. LOL. That was not the case. My idea grew from me being in one of the lowest points of my life and after an especially long day, I started crying in my tiny one bedroom apartment. I was broke, frustrated, exhausted and over worked. I was drowning self pity and searching for inspiration. And that’s when it it hit me…I asked myself, “What is frustrating you?” and “What can I do to change it?” That’s how my idea was born. The next morning I took action and never looked back. You will always come across times in your life when things feel impossible or too much to handle but the minute you slow down and really break down the problem, that’s when you find the answer. There is nothing that gives you more confidence than achieving something that once had the ability to cause you so much doubt. Take that power away from those thoughts. Get focused and break down the challenges and watch success start to grow.

bellsandbarbells.com   @bellsandbarbells @kittykatfit 

Sidney Jennings | Writer & creative enthusiast

Facing a challenge they feel is insurmountable” the answer is in that phrase right there. If you don’t “feel” like it is insurmountable does that change the challenge? Of course not, the challenge stays the same but your perspective can change Everything. Is it really insurmountable or is it just that you “feel” it is? Feelings are amazing, deep, and real but they are also deceiving. They can convince you that something is unattainable because of how it makes you feel. I’m not saying to be a robot because, let’s be real, I don’t think I could take my feelings out of anything if I tried, but when you realize it is attainable and possible you progress out of hope instead of digressing out of fear.

@sidney.jennings  morethanbrunch.com

Black Orchid Boutique

I would say if you feel that a challenge is insurmountable that means you’re aiming high enough. Nothing that comes easy is worth it. So keep your dreams big and know that you are the force behind your own aesthetic living. Blossom Baby

theblackorchidshop.com

Tia W. Vaughn | Jewelry Artist | Founder-TarteLaine Designs

@totallytiffanyco, Facebook- @tiffanyevansfashion – location was at @2310routhstreet

Fear is paralyzing..don’t focus on how scary the challenge may seem. Come up with a plan and a goal then just do it. THEN celebrate. Pat yourself on the back for facing the challenge and celebrate every win along the way, no matter how big or small. You have to give yourself credit to stay motivated and confident to face the next challenge – even if the result isn’t exactly what you planned.

tartelaine.com facebook.com/TarteLaine @tartelainedesigns

Abigail Lalumandier | Recovery Influencer

What’s the best advice you have for some who is facing a challenge they feel is insurmountable? Nothing lasts forever and just know that the best views come from the hardest climbs.

@thesoberstyle  thesoberstyle.com

 Melanie Shute | Events Manager & Fashion Influencer

Colby Kruger Jones Photography

To keep going, and never give up. Sometimes the biggest challenge seems unachievable but launches into the most rewarding accomplishment in the future. Don’t compare yourself to others, and do things that bring you joy and happiness. Surround yourself around people that bring positivity. Remember you’re a badass, and you can absolutely do it!

instagram.com/shuteingmystyle

Felicia Akop | jewelry artist | designer  | web mistress | boutique boss & Lizzie Akop-boutique boss | style boss | merchandising maniac

We were raised with the ideology, throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.

savannahhoffmandesigns.com facebook.com/savannahhoffmandesigns

Jillian Prado Terrell | Trend Forecaster

My advice for anyone facing an extreme challenge is to take it step-by-step and to lean in to those around you who will support you.

@jillian_prado drasticallyappropriate.com

Martha Flores | A Driven Fashionista

My advice would be to stay positive because positive thinking won’t let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

youtube.com/kittybby21

Amy Duncan |  Owner | Principal Consultant of Rari Veblyn Business Concierge Services

Charles “CITY” Gbadebo of CSL Media Group @sosocity

It may sound really cliche but the confidence I get from being spiritually centered helps me conquer anything that comes my way. For me, I can’t do anything without God. I have to find the strength from Him before I can do anything. Prayer, meditation, and confiding in safe spaces have been my guiding forces. There’s a beauty in silence; you’re able to critically think and play out so many scenarios to get the answer to just about anything.

@ayyedunc @rariveblyn facebook.com/rariveblyn linkedin.com/in/amyduncan315

Samanda Marshall-Sawyer | Business Strategist

Challenges are opportunities. Always seek God for direction on how to handle those opportunities. Then move forward in that direction.

@Motivusmomentumagency facebook.com/Motivusmomentumagency motivusmomentum.com

Laci Villarreal | Personal brand photographer

Featured in photo Sadie Robin of Vanity Craft Salon

I believe we have all felt at some point in time something is insurmountable. Sometimes I still feel that way in certain situations but I remind myself of everything in my life I’ve overcome. In facing your fear of why you think this challenge isn’t possible, start to place yourself in that uncomfortable situation. The more you do the impossible makes it easier to do it and helps achieve that goal you thought was impossible. My favorite quote I found in college that I love even today is by pablo picasso “I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”

warrlockphotography.com @warrlockphotography

Beth Wolfe

Don’t hold on to expectations, let go of judgments, and see how things unfold.

bethawolfe.com

Jennifer Dickson, BSN, RN  | founder of SITTERNEEDED and Acuity Career Consulting  |  health & fitness enthusiast

Keep telling yourself to go.  The biggest risk is to do nothing.  Whatever you do, find small ways to move forward whether that’s in researching new information, obtaining new resources, or creating a plan. Remind yourself that everything that’s ever been accomplished was considered impossible until it wasn’t. The path to overcoming lies in action, so when you start, just don’t quit.

sitterneeded.com instagram.com/SITTERNEEDED instagram.com/acuitycareerconsulting

 Brittany Bello | Model & Entrepreneur

Aaron Handler

Shift your perspective, always. Maybe *you* are the insurmountable obstacle in someone else’s journey. We are both the Universe/Source itself as well as the recipient of the blessings of the Universe. If you can make someone else’s day/life better, why couldn’t someone do that to you and help you overcome that obstacle? There are plenty of people and things available to help us in our journeys, but if you don’t have the lenses to SEE them then we will always be in the dark. Open up your consciousness to not always play the victim and step into the role of giving. We all know the Law of Attraction, but try and visualize it this way for maximum results! We get what we give back to the Universe. Give thanks for the obstacle and what it’s teaching you, just as you sometimes decline to help others if you’re not inspired to (and this is ok because sometimes we’re not meant to have what we want). We create our own realities, imagine a reality where you pass that obstacle. It doesn’t have to be “reasonable”. You can make anything you want happen with the power of your intentions. Go be great and remember your power!

linktr.ee/brittanynoelbello

Savannah Mendenhall | Health Coach and Coffee Lover

Go for a walk outside and disconnect from your phone. No music. No social media. Just take a moment or two or a hundred to breathe. Your problems will still be there when you get back home and reconnected to the craziness of life, but an intentional break like this helps you to remember what it feels like to be you. You’re going through something incredibly difficult right now, but you are strong and worth the fight to keep on keeping on!

@fitwithsav

Megan Saustad | Fashion & Lifestyle Blogger | Influencer

My advice to anyone who is facing a challenge they feel is insurmountable is to rely on their faith.  I truly believe in a higher power, spending time in thoughtful prayer and being in a community with like-minded believers.  This has made a profound impact on my life, especially during difficult times.

instagram.com/trulymeganblog trulymegan.com

Barbara Arredondo | Dallas Real Estate Agent

@SocialResults

Give yourself permission to believe in the possibilities when you are faced with what seems to be a hopeless, unconquerable challenge. Doing so does not mean you are denying the present situation you are faced with.

barbara.claystapp.com @Dallas_RealEstate_Agent @ClayStappCo

Legz Paris | Entrepreneur and Entertainer

You should keep god first grind and don’t let no body stop you for doing what you love !it might not come over night but just remember Rome wasn’t built in one day ! It takes time to build a empire.

legzvanity.bigcartel.com youtube.com/legzparis

Rei Miller | Owner & Professional Organizer of Sakura Rose

I would say break it all down into bite size pieces, and if those pieces still feel too big and overwhelming to consume, break them down even smaller. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask someone you trust or a professional you trust for advice or help. One of the best things that I have done is reach out to mentors and join industry mastermind groups so that I have people who I can turn to for support at any time.

sakura-rose.com @sakuraroseorganizing

The post #LadyBoss: redefining what a boss looks like appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2019/07/23/girlboss-redefining-boss-looks-like-2/