#this would be a pun if that was a banana

[legcore]

special apple surprise under cut

[cobaltfluff]

belated welcome party for the newest blorbos in my head

[sysig]

Evil Time is great :) (Patreon)

[poetmellifluou-s]

I believe you mean fungi-loungers and fruitons.

Weird chairs

[covenofagatha]

ok after the FFF post i think we now need your thought on reader teasing agatha during no nut november.

maybe first they make a bet about whether agatha can even make it through no nut november, and of course agatha is like what do u mean i can’t do it? and so she takes on the challenge.

you then start waking agatha up to the sounds of you fucking yourself with a dildo or smth and she already wants to quit.

you then proceed to tease her nonstop every day, and of course it’s harder for agatha because november has a few more days than february

- 🥕

Well it is only fair that reader gets a little payback for all of Agatha's teasing

You've been waiting ever since finger free February for this and you've been planning

It's a few days before November starts and you casually bring it up to Agatha over dinner. She scoffs it off at first, but then you appeal to her competitive nature: "Oh come on, mommy, you don't think you can last? I did. Guess you can't, though. Such a shame. You're just too desperate for me, aren't you? Can't control yourself at all?"

She takes the bait immediately and is outraged that you would even imply that she wouldn't be able to, and accepts

You two have the most sex you've ever had in the next few days, courtesy of Agatha trying to get out as many orgasms as she can

The first few days of November pass and you're her perfect baby, only making a few dirty remarks here and there and only attempting to brush her cock through her pants a few times

Agatha gets lulled into a false sense of security and thinks that maybe it won't be that hard (pun intended) after all

Until the next morning when she wakes up to hear wet squelching sounds and rolls over to find you with a dildo buried up to the hilt in your cunt, panting

But not just any dildo, no, the one you made with the penis molding kit that is an exact silicone replica of her cock (purposefully for this month - but she doesn't need to know)

So not only is she watching you fuck yourself with it, but she also now has the memory of you on your knees in the shower in front of her, blowing her to a full erection, and then stroking the molding powder over her cock to make the toy

"Fuck, mommy, your cock feels so good inside me," you moan, pumping it fast inside you, and Agatha is instantly hard as a rock, the few days without an orgasm finally catching up to her. She starts to hump the air and wonders how embarrassing it would be if she didn't even make it a week into it

She barely avoids cumming untouched when you orgasm all over the toy

Thus begins you starting to tease her for real

You've never been a big banana fan, but you certainly are now and you make eye contact with her every morning as you slide as much of it as you can take down your throat before gagging (which only makes her harder)

You give her your best "fuck me" eyes every night as you hold a vibrator to your clit, hips bucking, while you beg for her to put her cock inside you. "It's okay, mommy, you can just stop before you cum and it won't count," you tell her, but you both know that the second she gets inside you, she'll blow her load instantly

When she sits at her desk doing work, you saunter over in nothing but lingerie and straddle her lap, claiming you just want to be close to her, but that doesn't stop you from grinding on her rock hard cock through her pants while she grits her teeth and turns red as a tomato

It gets to the point that she's pretty sure if you were to touch her cock with your bare skin, she would fail

"Only four days left," you say cheerily and she grumbles something incoherently. She's been irritated and a little quick-tempered and you love it.

"It's not fair," she says. "November is two days longer than February."

You mockingly pout and suck on a lollipop. "Oh, poor mommy. But just think, on December first, you can fuck me again. God, I can't wait to have your cock inside me. I love when you twitch and pulse and throb and then fill me up with your cum and leaks out of me."

Agatha has to leave the room with a whimper because she's so painfully hard and doesn't trust herself to look at you without cumming right now

That night, you're laying next to her in bed, idly playing with your clit and sliding your fingers into your cunt every now and then. Agatha is making a pointed effort not to look, but you can see how tense she is. It comes to a breaking point when you push your wet fingers into her mouth and she groans before getting up, positioning herself between your legs, and hauling your cunt into her mouth

It's the first time she's touched you since October and you can't help yourself from making louder noises than you're used to because of how good it feels and you're so lost in pleasure that you don't even notice how she's started to grind against the bed

You're so close to an orgasm when she suddenly freezes and pulls back with a strangled sound. Her eyes are wide with panic, face red, and you can see her hips rutting

"Fuck fuck fuck," she chants and a thrill runs through you before her head drops down to rest against your stomach with a groan

When she flops over onto her back, you can see a wet stain on the front of her boxers and you laugh

"Guess since you lost, you can just go ahead and fuck me now," you sigh. "No point in waiting a few more days."

Agatha can't even be mad about it because at least her torture is over

You never fail to remind her that you made it longer than she did

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 50!

another lovely round of fics for you all <3 full disclosure i did not double check this with my masterlist of recs so while i doubt it, it's possible that i've recced some of these before... i guess that could just be a sign that they're extra good lol.

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

75 best knitting puns that will have you hooked | iphigenias/@oatflatwhite | 4.1k | GA

Buck—Buck is knitting. Eddie blinks, rubs his eyes. Yeah, Buck is knitting: thick fingers a little clumsy as Bobby shows him how to purl stitch with a soft-looking ball of pink ombre wool.  softest most domestic little fic <3

all the lights are coming on | sharpbutsoft/@sharpbutsoft | 1.2k | GA

What good is having a key to your best friend’s house if you can’t use it to spread a little holiday magic? spreading the holiday magic <3<3 this was everything i needed and wanted and i love it so very much

any other bodily sense | kiwiibiird/@buckevanley | 10.2k | GA

Post-s2 sickfic. Buck is stuck with a broke leg and a bad cold. Maddie and Eddie help him out. forehead kisses and maddie and buddie and hurt/comfort... literally what else could a girl (me) need? the answer is nothing because this fic is everything!!

born with a weak heart | foxwatson/@eddiediazes | 7.5k | T

the one where eddie won't touch buck once he wakes up in the hospital, and buck goes absolutely bonkers bananas about it. is it truly a michelle rec list if there's no touch-starved fic on there? i don't think it is lol. i've reread this several times now and it's just the absolute loveliest <3

don't break | odysseus_calls | 2.4k | T

5 times the 118 is tired of Buck and Eddie acting like a couple, and the time they find out they've been dating the whole time. i LOVE hijinks and shenanigans <3 this captures them so perfectly!!

hooker | mansikka | 3.9k | T

When Eddie's life turns to hell, he turns to hooking. Crochet hooking. i've been attempting to crochet again (made a little cat today!) and it's only half because i want to be cool and crafty and half because people make it sound so cool and crafty in fics. anyway point is this was brilliant and so eddie and i loved it v v much!!

i sleep so i can see you ('cause i hate to wait so long) | turquoiseviolet/@turquoisevioiet | 25.7k | T

eddie’s not sleeping and buck’s worried. after all, he’s supposed to be the one who fixes everything, isn’t he? platonic cuddling! homoerotic friendship! getting together! if buddie fic had a bingo card, this would tick all of the boxes <3 so good!!

loves a game, wanna play? | 42hrb/@exhuastedpigeon | 57.5k | M

In the aftermath of Chris leaving for the summer, Buck convinces Eddie they should apply for Love Island together. okay so admittedly all my big plans to read my marked for later list this week failed miserably, cause this is the only fic from there that i actually read... on the other hand, what a brilliant one it is!! it's so funny and so good and i loved the social media elements in there. also, maya and maria <3

sub drop city, population: eddie diaz | peaktotheocean/@peaktotheocean | 4k | T

It takes Eddie longer than he cares to admit to realize that Buck has been giving him aftercare on the sly. i'm such a sucker for aftercare and this has SUCH a lovely buddie dynamic <3

swinging there, in the corner of our haven | anti_romantic_cherub | 1.6k | GA

Eddie bought Buck a hammock, and now he's reaping the rewards (Buck napping in his backyard). buck napping in eddie's backyard <3 such a lovely image and this is executed so so well, i love it!!

the city is a jungle and i'm a beast | putanauhere/@putanauhere | 42.8k | M

Eddie has enough on his plate this summer – a newly empty nest, a terrible new captain, and a new mustache – without adding a new werewolf to the mix. the most fascinating werewolf au <3 i love the buddie dynamic here and how they approach the werewolfism with such different attitudes. so good!!

toss up | saucerfulofsins/@saucerfulofsins | 3.5k | E

Eddie is caught browsing bad gay porn, and Buck takes it upon himself to show Eddie the good stuff. most glorious brilliant fic concept to ever fic <3 this is fantastic!!

trivial pursuit of love | niemi | 6.2k | T

Buck attends Tommy’s trivia night with Eddie, his newfound feelings for his best friend bottled up and ready to burst. As it turns out, he’s not the only one with a secret. buddie at trivia night!! i loved this fic so much, it was a real highlight on a rainy morning bus ride <3

weaving in our loose ends | PretentiousSwanQueen/@hotcinnamonsunset | 8.6k | T

Eddie is a knitter with the Loose Ends Project and he's assigned to finish the project of a loved one of Buck's. the gasp i let out when i realised what buck's project is... gorgeous fic!!

white sheets, you and me start to lay close | effervescentwolf/@effervescentwolf | 1.5k | T

He thinks of his empty bed at home, and his chest feels tight. It’s just that—it’s okay if it’s Buck. He can let Buck catch him. give me all the bed-sharing fics, please and thank you <3 this is one of the best uses of the trope i've seen in a long time, it's so lovely <3

[ccieatchildren]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[pianokantzart]

Okay, something VERY interesting happened in regards to Donkey Kong Bananza. Apparently someone at Nintendo of Korea accidentally leaked something in the game and it’s apparently Pauline as a child or Pauline’s daughter. Thoughts on what this character could be or the impact this will have on the Mario/DK franchise lore?

I saw!

I'm almost certain it's going to be Pauline given the resemblance, though there is a slight chance that it's just a little kid who happens to be a big Pauline fan. I don't think it'll be Pauline's child given how much of Pauline's characterization centers around being young, hot, politically-influential jazz singer. It's not impossible, but it would be an unexpected twist to say the least. When did she find time to have and raise a baby? Who the heck is the dad??? My personal theory is that there's some sort of magical shinanigans going on that caused Pauline to de-age, hence why the normally-golden bracelet around her wrist is now made out of purple crystals. That might be a little extra reason for DK to undergo this mission other than his love for bananas; he's gotta get his long-time-unrequited crush back to normal... a little act 3 incentive to double down and dig deeper. Either way, I don't think it'll have too much impact on the lore of the series as a whole, not that much of the Mario franchise has particularly rock-solid canon to begin with (no pun intended.)

On a related note:

Love her cute little face freckles.

[certifiedlesbianvampire]

CAN THEY COOK?- project: eden's garden cooking headcanons

detailed explanation for each placement, starting from "let them cook" to "do not let them in a kitchen unsupervised." everything's below the cut:

LET THEM COOK

-ingrid and eloise have big families and they have siblings, so it only makes sense they can cook well. desmond's mom and dad run a chain restaurant, so i feel like he'd be a good cook by proxy. -if there are people you trust to take you to a good restaurant, i feel like it'd be wenona, toshiko, and jean. partially vibes based but wenona would know when those ingredients are good and fresh, toshiko would appreciate expensive but also simple and affordable meals and jean has enough experience around his crew to understand how people's palates differ (as well as having tried a variety of dishes) -grace is an athlete. she will have her "cheat days" but other than that she is DEDICATED. veggies and grains before playing and protein after. i feel like she'd hate those weird health shakes though. she makes and breaks the rules as she wishes

-kai is the type of guy who strikes me as someone who is a good cook. there are a few dishes he can make off the top of his head and they're probably all specific internet dishes (i.e. pancakes, breakfast bowl, veggie pasta... myriad of drinks etc.) buttt i think if you asked him to just fry an egg he'd somehow burn it.

-damon's parents probably taught him how to cook as a life skill and also as #bondingtime. he'd probably know how to make some traditional japanese dishes but like i also feel like he gets a bit lazy with cooking sometimes (either because he's too locked in studying or he's just tired). so like, a bowl of cereal or a boiled egg and plain toast and a banana. i like to think kai and co. bring him to restaurants or cook with him so it's easier.

-diana, diana, diana. if you believe that she is italian then i do think she could cook some great italian food. but in all honesty i feel like half of her meals are things you don't have to cook (as in over a stove or in an oven). diana 100% is a baker though. she is the type of person to bring freshly baked brownies for the class. i headcanon she, ingrid, toshiko and eloise help her out.

What the hell, sure.

-i am so hard pressed to believe these guys eat enough veggies.

-all busy + don't feel like cooking + it's faster to take out food. once in a while they will cook but it is rare. their food is edible to them and that's all that matters

-cassidy is a MENACE on the grill though (proof? that one eden's island promotional art). ask her to fucking grill anything and she will DELIVER. same goes with jett but i believe cassidy is the better grill dad here

-this is a joke but why can I see jett, cassidy and mark going to restaurants guy fieri style

DO NOT LET THEM COOK

-i feel like eva is the type of person to be like "i can cook" but she ABSOLUTELY cannot. you'll be in the kitchen with her and she would be too embarrassed to admit she can't despite the fact she is continuously failing. she gets the hang of it after a while -wolfgang doesn't know how to do his own laundry so i assume he can't cook (bc he spent all his time studying as a kid) -if you asked ulysses if he could cook he'd be like "sort of?" he can follow a recipe, but if something goes wrong he panics a bit. i think he forgets to feed himself sometimes -i think tozu would make a mean shepard's pie (pun not intended). i feel like he likes french food. while he jokes about british food he finds it very unexciting and bland. he is genuinely a good cook but would absolutely troll you by putting a "secret ingredient" in his food (i.e. putting pineapple in lasagna) unfortunately, this would be ineffective on someone like kai or eva who like "weirder" food combos

[bowtiesarecool11]

Some of my favourite James Acaster quotes....because why not

A: We shall fight them on the beaches. B: God damn I love these peaches

Never before have I been so offended by something I 100% agree with

Robo bongo cuckoo cop

Not everyone's as dried apricots as they think they are

In my opinion you're never truly in love until one of you turns to the other and says 'do you want to do a Loch Ness Monster hoax?'

I don't want to manger no dead banana

My eyes are circles

Expect the unexpected, bebe

🎶pants on a stick🎶

suck it

I can hear it gooping

Hand me that spork, I'm gonna save a life

I've got the posture of a frube

It's evolution's way of ensuring that shallow people don't get enough potassium in their bodies

Every triangle's a love triangle if you love triangles

I have not been raised by John Nutlips

I can still pun in this helmet!

I'm the Prett-a Manager

Over my shoulder. Older and Older. That's what I told ya!

I think it would be quite hard for Salmon to learn the sign language required for Scuba.

[sorcerous-caress]

I would like to maybe request the different BG3 party members finding out a Tav with a tough guy act was secretly ticklish? Just fluff all around

Finding out you're ticklish

[ fluff, nb!Reader, several characters ]

[ reader is a tough cold badass person ]

Karlach

Absolutely abuses it.

She has been trying to get you to loosen up for a while. As cool and badass she thought you were, she was sure there was a fun side to you.

Took it very personally to try to get you to laugh, bad puns, slipping on a banana peel, and even asking Gale to borrow one of his nerdy type jokes. Alas, you were as expressive as a stone wall.

Just when she was about to give up, she thought "ah what the hell?" and just went for it, full on tickling your sides. Worst case scenario, she will get put on clean duty again.

Imagine her surprise when you started cackling up. Pure sincere laughter coming from your own lips, very contagious too. She found herself laughing along as she kept denying your attempts to push her away.

Now she has a secret weapon, one she plans to use at whichever chance she gets.

Gale

Very amused.

Ah, how the tables have turned. You know he did have a theory on your aversion to touch and the distance you keep from others, and this was the most pleasant of outcomes.

"Accidentally" brushes against your ticklish spots, claims absolute innocence each time. Batting his eyelashes as he swears ignorance.

He'd have prefered a more subtle method than Karlach's, but really, who is he to say? Maybe he could learn a thing or two from her, that sometimes the easiest way is the best answer to a problem.

Shadowheart

Teases you about it.

She threatens to do it in her "maybe I'm joking, maybe not" way. Does she ever do it? Who knows.

But mostly, she can relate to you. She gets teased about her fear of wolves a lot, so she understands if you want her to drop the topic.

Wyll

Defends you.

He was always the kid in the playground who'd chase bullies away, and while this is a more light-hearted teasing between friends things, he will still defend you from Karlach surprise attacks.

You're safe next to him, don't worry, he will never use your weakness against you no matter how tempting it is to get this tough ice cold person to fall into a pit of laughter.

Those aren't his thoughts, just the devil's on his shoulder.

Laezel

Doesn't get it.

What do you mean ticklish? What even is that.

Gith don't really get tickled. Their skin doesn't allow it much. She is a bit fascinated and curious about it. After all, it must be a great weapon if it reduced a formidable person like you into a jumpy offbalance prey.

Yes, she will keep it in mind if she needs to take you down one day. It is the excuse she allows herself on why she keeps staring at you whenever you laugh.

Minthara

While Wyll will attempt to defend you, Minthara doesn't even have to try.

If everyone in here wants to keep their throat unslited, they better not even think to place their grubby hands near you.

Says she did use it as a form of torture in interrogations before. It wasn't very effective since the target would end up incomprehensible.

Astarion

HA

HA HA HA

you poor thing.

His bullying puts Shadowheart's light hearted teasing to shame, he WILL fully throw digs at you every chance he gets.

Brings it up always, asks if you're at risk of falling prone to laughter because your shirt's fabric was too soft. Jokes about how feathers must be knives to you huh.

He isn't big on touching, so your physical body will remain safe. Your mentality, however, is a different case.

Halsin

He is too, very ticklish. How did he get people to stop bringing it up? Simple, turn into a gaint bear.

It's not so fun watching someone fall on you from laughter when it's a gaint cave bear with rows of sharp teeth.

But really, it's not so bad. And here he will help you practice your bear exaggerated laughter to make your teeth look sharper.

[writtenjewels]

Semper Pie

[This is an AU I wanted to start before my accident. Hope you enjoy part one!]

Salim took an alternate route to work. He had his thoughts full of the day ahead, when the enticing scent of fresh baked goods caught his attention. He paused, turning to see his path led him to a bakery and coffee shop. He could see a few customers sitting at tables, and one of the employees was setting out steaming sweet buns. Without realizing he made the decision, Salim found himself stepping inside the shop.

“Mornin',” a server greeted him. The server was a man, athletically built with most of his brown hair hidden under a baseball cap. His uniform was a simple blue shirt and black jeans with a name-tag pinned to his chest. He held a pot of coffee in one hand and a plate of pastries in another.

“Good morning,” Salim returned. “Jason,” he added, reading the name-tag.

“Hold on.” Jason poured a fresh cup of coffee for one of the customers, setting the plate down on the table. Hands now free, he turned his attention to Salim. “Welcome to Semper Pie.” Salim tried to hold it in but the amused snort escaped anyway. Jason's lip twitched in a smirk. “Yeah, it's a dumb pun, ain't it?”

“I happen to like dumb puns,” Salim assured him.

“Lucky for us, lots of people do,” Jason nodded. Salim noted that the man had a charming American South accent. “Nicky will take your order,” Jason added, nodding to the front counter, “and I'll be right with ya.”

“Thank you.”

Nicky turned out to be a dark-skinned man with a buzz cut. He took Salim's order—black coffee and banana bread—and sent Salim to a table to wait. Soft music played over the speakers. The space was cozy and warm, the walls decorated with artwork. Jason appeared at Salim's table with the coffee and food.

“Lemme know if you need anything else,” he said as he set down Salim's plate.

“No need. I'll have to be at work soon, anyway.”

“Yeah? What do you do?”

“I do translation work for the museum.” Salim broke off a corner of his bread and popped it in his mouth. He let out an appreciative hum. “This is delicious!”

“You want another slice?” Jason offered.

“I do, but I'll have to save it for another time.”

“Come back here tomorrow and I'll make sure it's ready for ya,” Jason told him.

“That's kind of you.” Salim took a sip of his coffee and another bite of the bread. “How long have you worked here?” he wondered.

“Couple years. Nick is my best friend, and he knew the owner. Got her to hire me on.” Jason was quiet for a moment, then said, “You work in the museum for long?”

“Oh, yes, I've worked there ever since I moved here.” Salim paused to swallow down another mouthful of banana bread with his coffee. “I just usually take another route to work.”

“That explains why I ain't seen ya in here before.”

“You will tomorrow,” Salim said. “You promised me more banana bread.”

“And I always make good on my word.” For the first time, Jason seemed to remember there were other customers in the shop. “I'll see ya,” he waved.

“See you,” Salim echoed. He looked down at his plate. He suddenly wanted to take a long time in finishing the rest of his food. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to linger.

He would just have to come back earlier tomorrow.

[atomicpirateperson]

why is rob so mischievous??

here's a yapfest of 6 reasons i came up with!

some of this is essentially canon and some of this is just theorization. i really like analyzing rob's character and if anyone wants to shoot me an ask about him i'll be grateful :]

1. to not die.

rob ended up in the void because he was useless to the show. if he couldn't die from the lack of food or water there, he would have spent an eternity in isolation. it makes sense that he's afraid of what happens if he becomes useless again, so he really needs a niche. his dilemma starts because the only niche available is the antagonist. in his monologue from The Disaster, it's clear that villainy is far from his dream job and he feels forced to act this way.

2. for revenge and closure.

of course, revenge against gumball is his most iconic and obvious motivation. however, on a deeper level, i think it's about more than the wattersons. despite his behavior, rob might have a strong sense of morals and justice. for example, in The Rerun he couldn't bring himself to end gumball's life after being saved, and his guilt was clear.

as for the closure part, he can't undo any of the traumatic events in his life, but because of this strong sense of justice, he still needs something to do about it. he still needs to resolve this somehow and he chooses vengeance.

truthfully, most of these vengeful thoughts should be directed at the void, but he can't enact revenge on the universe itself. so, he targets the closest thing to take his anger out on: gumball. in fact, as a villain, rob never brings up gumball's past offenses. who knows, maybe he doesn't even care what gumball did!

3. as a creative outlet and source of purpose.

there's no doubting that rob likes to be theatrical and extra in his villainy. there's definitely some real passion put into it even though he doesn't have a choice.

as a homeless orphan who doesn't appear to be in school, he probably doesn't have much to do in life. he's a creative and imaginative person for sure, so he needs a way to express and entertain himself.

it's easy to interpret his melodramatic moments as pure acting/exaggeration, but it could also be a genuine coping mechanism and/or way of venting, which ties into the closure thing.

4. for control.

with no house or family to provide stability or support, control is something he has been robbed of in life (pun not intended).

his shenanigans might help him feel in-control and safe by taking control and safety from others. this is especially prominent in The Disaster/Rerun with the literal remote control that sends him into a power trip.

also, while it's partially his fault, other people don't listen to him, so he has to get what he wants through force. this is probably the reason why he worked towards his benevolent goals so forcefully in The Inquisition.

5. for attention.

6. to defend himself.

this is pretty self-explanatory. real kids show attention-seeking behavior just from having inattentive parents. with no parents and little to no friends, this is probably the case for him as well. regardless if the attention is negative or positive, he really needs to be noticed and talked to by others. this would also be an additional reason for why his actions are often gumball-centric because that puts him on screen, at the center of attention.

this one doesn't show up often. i'm mainly adding it because of the scene in The Future where gumball and darwin charge at him unprompted. sure, he went into defense mode first, but he wasn't the ones who literally killed him first and asked questions later (actually, they never asked why he was doing that). the episode would have ended differently if they stopped to pick up on the many clues that this wasn't just typical rob shenanigans. (interestingly, gumball was less presumptuous in encounters before this. maybe he and darwin were angry because banana joe and his mom had nothing to do with rob's evil upbringing... but at the same time they don't always care about joe that much)

outside of that, rob's crimes might also serve to intimidate others to keep himself safe. a homeless kid alone on the streets needs to deter dangerous people as much as possible.

...and that's all i have to say :] again lmk your thoughts about this!

and before somebody acts like it is: this is not meant to say that all of rob's actions were completely normal and justified. it's just a villain analysis don't start

[acediaofthestars]

So I've been reminiscing about my playthrough of In stars and time and this is a totally normal thing to do.... right? Anyway, god does the game really make you feel like Siffrin (Yes, pun intended)

btw spoilers and lots of yapping incoming

Now I mainly tried to keep my loops as long as possible at first because I read like a lot of regressor manhwas and novels and know some of the tropes of a time loop. I.e you can't stop looping, you get desentisized to dying yada yada all the good stuff and I was pretty confident I wouldn't fall into those tropes. Then the act 2 twist happened. Which I practically knew would happened since I knew for a fact that this time loop ain't that simple.

Act 3 went on mostly the same. I still looped to Dormont and whenever the requirements for the friendquest was needed, I would still do the house in full for it. I brute forced Bonnie's quest by picking an answer and just savescumming if I'm wrong because I ain't going to the banana just for that. And for Mirabelle and Odile I scoured the house in one go and beat the king so I didn't have to loop. After the friendquests I did the house in full and fuck man was that loop sad. I got the memory of sadness in that loop and the fact that doing all that progressed nothing to stopping the loops made me immensely frustrated. this started my slow but painful descent.

At first it was small, After talking about the king's stars I beat him then looped from dormont immediately to floor 1 just to interact with the papers then went through the house interacting every headache book again hoping to read them. Now at this point I looped to specific floors for one thing and even didn't loop to Dormont occasionally. Skip straight to the betrayal and at that point I lost all fucking hope, I was like a wandering speck during act 4 I would loop to anywhere just to learn even a smidge of something. After getting the memories I immediately read the book in the library and looped straight into floor 2 just to read the headache book in the secret library. Promptly remembered the storage room then looped back from floor 2 to 1, then looped into floor 3 for the headache door and used the star crest for the observatory. Fun fact! FUCK FUCK FUCK I SPENT AT LEAST 20 NON-CONSECUTIVE LOOPS GOING TO THAT ROOM HOPING AND EVEN WISHING THAT I COULD JUST READ THE NAME ON THE NEWSPAPER, FUCK LET ME LEARN ANYTHING!!! PLEASE LET ME OUT!!!! Ahem, I then talked to the head housemaiden, then looped straight to the king then beat the king and talked to Euphrasie, then beat the king and talked to Euphrasie, then went through the friendquests, beat the king with my family then talked to Euphrasie, then beat the king and talked to Euphrasie. EUPHRASIE TELL ME SOMETHING, ANYTHINGGG, TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO!!! LET ME OUT OF THE FUCKING LOOPS I BEAT THE KING, I TALKED TO MY FAMILY, EVEN LEARNED WHAT WISHCRAFT IS HERE SO. WHY. AM. I. STILL. HERE?

may- maybe the wish craft books had something else i need! lets read them again!!! so i looped back again, andagain

andagain

and againandagainandagainandagainandagain andagainagainaagainagaianaagLETMEOUTainagaianaagainandgainandagainandagainITOUCHEDANOTHERTEARagainandagainandagainandagainINEEDTOREADTHENEWSPAPERandagainandagainandagainandagainandagain

and... eventually I managed to read the books in the correct order, i beat the king and talked to the Head Housemaiden.... she didn't say anything new WHYWHWYWHWYWHWYHWYWHYWHWYHWYWHWYWHYWHWYWHYWHWYWHYiknowwishcraftWHYWHWYWHYWHWYHWYiknowyouknowWHYWHYWHWHYpleasetalktomeWHYWHWYWHYWHWYWHYWHY

I WISH YOU COULD JUST SAY SOMETHING NEW... She said something new? quick I gotta listen to this................... forgive vaugarde? BLIND IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL IM STUCK HERE FOREVER? THAT CANT BE TRUE PLEASE I- NO, SIFFRIN SHOULDN'T BE STUCK HERE THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING PLEASE HELLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEE.

I, uh, broke during act 4. I'm pretty sure I spent 50 hours on act 4 alone since I did everything I could do and looped so much that my loop count went from 30+ at the end of act 3 into 100+ loops at the ending of act 4. I don't have great memories of act 4. From the constant looping at the observatory just to attempt learning the name of the country or the countless times I did the friendquests,sharpened the keyknife and beat the king hoping for something to change. I eventually stopped caring enough to do the friendquest because they were too long for me to handle even with the ability to skip the entirety of it. I kept zoning out more and more and even zoned out in reality during the 2nd time I watched Mirabelle's quest because I forgot that I didn't press the skip button for the cutscene. Act 4 got me so used to dying that I didn't even bat an eye when I let the king kill Siffrin just so I didn't need to loop straight to dormont after talking to Euphrasie. I hated talking to her, I also stopped going to the clocktower because the constant cowardice of Isabeau made me so mad that I didn't want to experience that again. Eventually the only thing I did at dormont was get the long thingy,thingy talk to Loop and then use the banana.

Act 5 made me so sad and frustrated that I tried to skip as much as possible and even had a misconception that Siffrin killed their family during the discussion at the Clocktower. Safe to say I was bamboozled when they came to rescue Siffrin. Eventually the culmination of both I and Siffrin's suffering made breaking out of the loops even more cathartic.

[kaibutsushidousha]

The Hundred Line 1st Impression Session #1

Takumi Sumino

Not much we didn't already know about him before. It's funny how between the original Saihara, Yuma from Rain Code, and Takumi here, Kodaka has repeated what we can "the Saihara archetype" of Kodaka protagonists. I guess that will now be his most utilized protag type, surpassing "the Naegi archetype" (the Naegi siblings and Akamatsu) because Akamatsu only gets one chapter as protagonist. Meanwhile, "the Hinata archetype" (Hinata, Otonashi, and the Death Come True guy) is the most underrepresented due to DR0 and DCT being significantly shorter than his games.

Darumi Amemiya

Another one that was already covered at Tokyo Game Show. Not much new going on aside from the reveal that she's voiced by Farouz Ai (based based based based). She has potential to be great depending on how serious Kodaka wants to be about her manic depression.

One intriguing comment in her gameplay showcase is that Kodaka mentioned her attack animations are based on a Gilgamesh from another series, but he cannot disclose which series this Gilgamesh is from despite both The Hundred Line and the unidentified Gilgamesh's series both being Aniplex productions. Watching the animations, her attack remind me of Boss from Fate/Samurai Remnant, but Boss was never stated to be a Gilgamesh, it's probably not him. I guess it mustn't be from anything I know.

Eito Aotsuki

Komaeda II was also already covered at Tokyo Game Show, but today's display downplayed his Komaedaness and focused more on his pathetic desperation to make friends, and established his place in group dynamics as the one companion no one trusts because he's always making the cheesiest and most fake-sounding friendship speeches. He's also voiced by Sakurai (unbased) which further distances himself from the initial Komaeda impression.

Standout dialogue:

Aotsuki: Right, before discussing that, we need to introduce ourselves to each other. So, what are your hobbies? Any food you don't eat? What's your sign? Favorite manga? What club you're at in school? Do you watch a lot of movies? Play video games? What do your parents work with?

Takumi: Hold on, that's too much to answer at once.

Aotsuki: Huh? Oh... Sorry, good point... I don't really know how to interact with people, as you might have noticed. Sharing self-introductions feels pretty unusual...

Kurara Oosuzuki

Her intro dialogue has her explaining the dumb pun of her name, so I'm already intrigued to see what the localization will do about this one.

The super elite billionaire kid who thinks everyone else is trash is a character type Kodaka already did before with Togami, but they already prove themselves very different in their placement in group dynamics, as Togami is the guy who posed as a killing game player while Oosuzuki is completely invested in supporting the team. Neat stuff.

I hope Kodaka/Komatsuzaki commits to the bit and she never takes off her tomato. Ideally, they never even decided what her canon face looks like.

Ima Tsukumo

I wish authors would stop reinventing Yuri Briar. I already dropped Yomi no Tsugai over this.

CV: Ogata Megumi

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with good voice acting and it won't work.

Ima: Hm, this ketchup & mayo rice soup is banging. The oil levels in the broth rule!

Kako: My rice bowl with chocolate, banana, and chili sauce shrimps is great, too. I can't even tell if it's sweet or spicy.

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with ugly food and it will work. More of this, please. You have a real chance of making me like your creep.

Kako Tsukumo

The other twin. Her special subject is Morality, in contrast with her brother's special subject being Misconduct. We already got the explanation for what Misconduct does in gameplay, so her Morality is the only special subject so far that we know nothing about.

We already have an open statement that her story will be about learning that she can disobey her brother, so that's a plotline with a lot of potential already.

She's also a canonical fan of ugly food and detective fiction, so I can trust completely that if she were real and I hadn't made my Danganronpa V3 ugly food post, she would have done it. Thank you, Kodaka, I feel very personally homaged here.

[ruins-of-tragedy]

Wrapped up season one of RWBY with episodes thirteen to sixteen. Excited for what's to come!

Season 01 Episode 13: Forever Fall - Pt I

- "I don't wanna hear your absolution."

- I too would like to jump on beds. Nora should exchange places with me for the duration of this scene

- Okie, so the entire team shares one bedroom. No matter the sex. Huh. Aren't these folks teenagers?

- Jaune. I can forgive everything. Everything, BUT disappointing Pyrrha. How dare you.

- He has already locked himself out once. LoLLL!

- Am glad Jaune at least told someone about his situation. Thank Gods for nice neighbours.

- Holy shikes. Ruby's pep talk was good. However, am scared for her mental health now. Being a team leader doesn't mean you are not human. Not allowed to be a failure... She is just a kid. Let her be that!

- Cardin's such a douchebag. Those rapier wasps should be set on him.

- I am moving to the Forest of Forever Fall now. See ya!

- A field trip with stakes so high, you can die. This place needs a chill pill so bad.

- The scene where Team RWBY and Team JNPR sans Jaune are collecting sap... Looks straight out of a cottagecore magazine. Cute!

- Jaune. Don't do it. Don't you dare throw that jar of sap at Pyrrha... Oh thank Gods. Wonder what's about to happen with him.

- Team CRDL ending. The music here was so mystical!

Season 01 Episode 14: Forever Fall Pt - II

- "This will be the day we have waited for..."

- Jaune. Shite. This is bad. He is black and blue.

- WHOA. Aura glows bright, saves Jaune from Cardin's hold of tight.

- Big Grimm monster Ursa has entered the chat.

- Jaune-y boy is saving Cardin. Good man!

- The tune playing in the background is the introductory song's instrumental! AGHHHHHHHHH! So gooooooood!!!

- Semblance must be special moves people can do. Ruby's happens to be speed. Weiss' are the stepping stones or glyphs. And Pyrrha has control over magnets. WoWie.

- Am not going to lie, my honest reaction was Ruby's line too. Pyrrha can control poles... 😂

- Pyrrha really knows what Jaune needs. She is so freaking good. Pyrrha; the person that you are. 🤩🤌🏻

- Jaune. I hope you never stop being a lovable idiot. At least Cardin will get off his back. Hopefully.

- YASSSSSSSS! Apologise. Am so glad Jaune can see the bad macho whatever nonsense.

- Awwww. He's actually asking for them classes now. Good on him! 👏🏻🤧

- The Grimm ending. Pun intended, 'cause the music was serious. Always good though.

Season 01 Episode 15: The Stray

- "Welcome to the world of new solutions."

- Vytal Festival is here. Weiss is harping on its importance by showing everyone how much of a Type A personality she truly is. Such me core.

- Blake knows why Weiss wants to be so nice to the students of Vacuo. Awwww! They know each other better now!

- Dust robberies be happening a lot. White Fang proves to be a point of contention between Blake and Weiss.

- Ahhhh. Weiss is prejudiced against the Faunus. At least Yang doesn't hold the same beliefs.

- Cue Faunus guy running off with a banana. He is good at Parkour though.

- Did he just wink at Blake? While in the process of running away?! Kudos for pulling that off!

- Weiss wants to observe him. So does Blake, mayhaps.

- Bye-bye blonde guy! Weiss falls on someone while chasing after him. The someone is Penny. Ahhhh.

- Team RWBY introduces themselves just the way their initials are ordered. Not before Yang checks in on Penny though. Head injuries are nothing to scoff at... That elbow budge from Blake made my day.

- The no look high-five Weiss and Ruby shared was so cool!

- Penny is back, Weiss is confused as to how she made it in front of them so fast. Her expression's priceless. 😆

- Awww! Penny wants to have a friend so bad. Thank you Ruby for going along with it. Even though the rest of your team definitely didn't want that. 😂

- Much banter. Weiss really needs to re-evaluate a lot of her stances. Blake to the rescue... Excellent points raised as well. No such thing as "pure evil."

- Holy hell. Weiss' childhood must have been horrible if she still cannot blame her family for it.

- This is how it comes out. Shite... Blake was also a part of White Fang. Should have seen it coming honestly.

- Wait. Will the White Fang partner with the bad people? Adam and Blake stole a lot of dust from the Schnee train. Oh Gods.

- Thank you Yang and Ruby for focusing on what's important. Blake has been gone for two days. 😢. Glad she has someone to lean on at least. Both her and Weiss must have a lot of trauma to deal with though. Fucking hell.

- Penny and the Faunus guy ending. Penny's symbol looks like the pointed end of a key. And the Faunus dude's happens to be a monkey like figure. Nice. The music is so somber and good.

Season 01 Episode 16: Black and White

- This must be the Blake and Weiss episode.

- "Victory is in a simple soul!"

- So this is Sun. He looks like a surfer dude. His character backdrop must be the Monkey King. Especially considering Sun Wukong is his name.

- Awww. Blake. No one should have to live like that. Having to resort to violence to receive equal rights. Fuck... Little her was so cute! But imagine needing to attend protests from such a young age to ensure people didn't treat her kind like lesser folks. Choosing to move away from a group that was succeeding in achieving what must have been a huge driving influence her entire life... Especially when people still discriminate against the Faunus. The fact that she didn't let hate consume her and set herself on a different path because she knew the other one wasn't right... Mad respect.

- Weiss. You have so much apologising to do. At least she has Ruby and Yang to guide her a little. Even if she will be snobbish about it every time.

- Penny is here! She is so sweet. I love her already. I am aware she ain't human. Hmmm. Her allusion could be Pinocchio. Something unlikely is living and all that.

- Blake likes tuna. LoLL!

- The wind carrying the tumbleweed at the perfect times... And Penny actually commenting on it. 😂👏🏻

- Yang and Weiss have paired off, leaving Ruby with the orange haired sweetheart.

- Ahhh. So the White Fang does steal dust. But not in such large scales. Gotcha.

- Sun is trying his best to help. Cool!

- Weiss has a really black and white view of the world. I too wish it was that simple sometimes.

- Awwww. Penny's really nailing the tail on the donkey with that one. Ruby too wants Blake to talk to them because they be friends. 🥺

- Blake's keeping watch at the Schnee crates. Sun stole apples. Witty back and forth and now a big flying machine. This would a great first date, if one were to ignore the circumstances.

- So it is the White Fang? ...And the bad Torchwick guy. Shikes. They are working together.

- Blake has him in a deadly position. And gets surrounded by the White Fang people. Shite.

- More airships, and Blake! The guy shot on the ground. Explosion was big enough that Ruby and Penny see it.

- Oh thank Gods, Blake's alright!

- Shootout, glad Sun's there. One vs many. The one wins.

- Blake and Torchwick showdown. Sun's stick-like weapon can turn into nunchucks AND a gun?! COOOOOL!

- Torchwick really shouldn't shoot Penny's friends. She is combat ready. 🤩👏🏻

- Fucking fuckity fuck. One woman army. Shikes. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing... At least the bad guys couldn't steal any dust. Bye-bye fancy ships! Your hasty retreat is much appreciated.

- Awwwwwwwww! Weiss has been thinking about it for twelve hours. Probably longer, am sure. She was worried. I should have been giving her more credit I guess. She be evolving.

- Weiss really is trying to be the best teammate. For everyone. 💖. It is difficult to unlearn years of bad rhetoric. Am glad she is giving it her all. Actually referred to Sun as a person too. 🫶🏻

- Penny has been picked up by someone she calls sir. Driving away now... Her time will come. As it should. She is adorable.

- Ozpin is monitoring Ruby?! Huh. I guess you cannot escape surveillance no matter the universe.

- Qrow, must be the uncle, sent him a message. "Queen has pawns." 🤔

- Hogwarts or not, that scenery is nothing to scoff at. Beacon truly looks amazing at night.

- This ending song is giving me an existential crisis. It's amazing though. Lullaby like.

- There's some person called Katie "Hot Wife" Newville in the credits... 😂👏🏻❤️‍🔥

- The song is picking up pace. This may be my favourite so far.

- Ooooooh! After credits scene. Torchwick got spooked by someone. Don't know his allusion still. Hmmm. This lady who scared him is the same person from the first episode. Them glowing eyes... Her name is Cinder? Subtitles be working overtime here. She has two henchpeople behind her. This is their ending. Can't figure out that symbol.

(No spoilers! Or I will invent a time machine to find out the details of your favourite show in the future and... You get the gist. Buh-bye!)