#this woman is a grade A actor - she has SO much life experience to draw from

[blazingblorbos]

WE’RE BACK AGAIN BABY. Honkai: Star Rail silly moment #72.

“Your greatest wish is just to get rid of the chores in life and go see your idol Serval at the workshop again!”  -- Trailblazer so TRUE!!!

[vminity21]

Promise Me | pjm

Pairing: Actor!Jimin X Actress!Reader, ot7 featured, friendshiptolovers!au

Word Count: 17, 280

Genre: fluff/soft/angst/smut

Warning(s): mega-angst, family rivalry, eventual smut, losing virginity, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, nipple play, mild language use Rated: 18+

Summary: You and Park Jimin, two best friends who grow up together, pursue each of your careers in acting. Even after a horrible misunderstanding which then leads to losing contact, the two of you never give up on your dreams. Nor, do you give up on each other. 

Credit to: @suhdays​ for making such an awesome cover!

He relies on his elbow while he slides to lay on his side, beat up converse crossing at the ankles while the loose scrape of his jacket sounds when greeted by the hardwood floor; his cheek brushes your shin once he makes himself comfortable. Your arms are folded across the tops of your knees where you rest your chin, staring at him fondly as you wait for his cue to speak, "You know you can trust me," he flashes a full smile- eyes disappearing into crescents causing your heart to melt at his overwhelming beauty.

"I know, I just... It's not you, it's me," you say, the cliché line sounding believable coming from your lips. Looking towards his clasped hands in response, he nods,

"It's not you, it's me... I've said that plenty of times in my life,"

"So, you understand me," you muse with the raise of your eyebrows hoping your stare exuberates your flirty side. When he returns to peer up at you, his thick lips poise with a slight twitch as if he's conjuring up a reply,

"Come here," he tilts his head up while you maneuver yourself to reach him- lips lock in the most passionate mold, and when he moves to where he can easily pull you closer, his kiss almost makes you forget where you are. Your hand trails to tangle with his blonde strands, getting lost in the movement he makes while he leans back, pulling you with him as previously practiced-

CRASH!

Jumping at the ear-piercing sound of shattering glass, wide eyes stare at the culprit of your piggy bank that fell from the pedestal he happened to lean against for support. Gulping, coins and dollar bills sparsely decorate the floor with the jagged pieces, but none of that is the reason why your heart is pounding with intense fear. There, lying in the jumbled mess of a pile is a couple of ID cards to cover your real identity.

He stands to his feet slowly, taking careful steps toward the muddle.

"I- I can-" You begin, trying to gather an explanation- watching him shuffle up the cards when a façade of shock covers his expression.

"What- what are these?" Anger darkens his eyes with the subtle rise of his voice.

"I can- I can explain-" tears brim the moment he halts your words by holding out his hand.

"No. Don't. I think I've seen enough," he tosses the cards onto your bed before stomping toward the door. Jolting to your feet, you mirror panic,

"No, Sam, please! Wait, please!"

Chasing after him, he spins around, "We're done, Kylee," he removes your hand that happened to reach his shoulder, "Or is that even your real name?"

"CUT!" The director, Steve Aoki, calls and with accomplished smiles, you and Jimin turn to face the cast and crew, "Wonderful, wonderful! Absolutely astounding!" Steve applauds, congratulating the pair of you while the two of you step away from the set. "I know this movie will make it to the big screen if the two of you continue performing like that!"

"Thank you, Steve," Jimin slightly bows forward with a sweet grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. He slips his arm around your waist with pride, "What can I say? I have a great co-star!"

"Ah, the chemistry!" Steve exclaims.

"Well, thank you to the both of you," you gleam with flattery, leaning into Jimin's side with the tint of a blush heating your cheeks, "I'm having a great time."

"We'll film more scenes with the two of you tomorrow. Right now, we need to film action scenes with the stunt doubles," Steve quickly kisses the side of your forehead before walking off, "Take five, everyone!" He shouts, clapping his hands to disperse the workers into a break.

"I must say, I'm really enjoying this movie with you, Chim," you compliment as he leads you to the refreshment table. Bottles of water sit in perfect rows in front of the snacks- cheese cubes and crackers tempting to relieve your growling stomach.

"I can say the same to you, [Y/Nickname]," Jimin reaches for two waters and hands one to you in which you take a few sips once you screw off the lid. As crazy as it sounds, Jimin has been your best friend for as long as you can remember.

Born to wealthy parents, a couple years after you came your sister. From the day you learned how to speak and understand the world around you, a dream was created that revolved around the career of acting. That's all you've ever wanted to do, and in elementary school, where you got to experience your first taste of this dream, you landed a role as Mrs. Scrooge in the Christmas play. Since none of the young boys tried out for the part, they changed the character to a woman the moment they discovered your talent. After your performance, you received numerous compliments that you were beyond grateful for, and since then you knew, acting was your definite calling. Sure, you had only been in fifth grade, but you loved being on the stage. It gave you a new perspective of every character you played- a new way of seeing life played out before you behind someone else's eyes. The stage – you were in your comfort zone. There, you felt home.

You had spoken to your parents about your dream to find that they were thrilled about your hope in acting. Your mom had warned you though that you needed to be patient; landing a show or movie role could be an incredibly hard task. Promising to be patient, like any kid would have, you kept your eyes peeled for any announcement of an audition. First, you started small- your mom had found auditions for commercials, and that was when you officially began the acting business. Three commercials down, and then you attempted in auditioning for TV shows which you hadn't had much success, and you wore the face of a broken-hearted girl. You figured you would never be good enough for the big screen with how everything was panning out, yet one day, auditions were being held in your city for a romantic comedy that was going to be filmed in the same spot also. A young girl was needed that would resemble the main actress in order to accomplish flashback scenes. Of course, you begged your mother to take you once you received the news.

Sitting in the waiting area the day of, your mother had driven you and your sister all the way to the location, and it felt like days when in all reality it had been three hours before your turn was called. The audition line was packed, and your sister had been growing anxious, wanting food or water, anything that would keep her entertained. Your mom comforted her by handing her a notebook and a pen from her purse, "Here baby, draw on this, okay?"

You remembered seeing a girl similar in age to you exit into the lobby with a confident smile. Your heart rammed within your chest as your sweaty palms rubbed against your jeans. Each child had been handed a script to study in the time leading up to this moment you were anxious to begin. C'mon... You can do this. Your eyes shot up in the direction of where a door opened, "Next!" A lady with long, dark hair smiled at you kindly when she caught your timid eyes, and out of habit, something you even did at doctor visits, you turned to your mother as if to ask for permission to follow what seemed to be a genuine woman.

"Go on," your mom said softly, "I believe in you."

Comfort eased your countenance and you left with a smile in determination of needing to nail this audition. If your parents, believed in you, then you knew that you could do it. The squeak of the chair sounded the moment you rose to your feet soon finding yourself inside the audition room where the only thing you could hear was the light thudding of your heartbeat. A red cloth adorned the table before you, where four judges remained seated. One male with gray hair chewed on the back of his pencil before looking up at you behind thick-rimmed glasses.

"How are you today, Miss-" He looked over at a clipboard lying in front of the woman who led you to the audition room, "[Y/N]?"

"I'm good, how are you, sir?" You put on your best smile with pure genuine though your hands quivered at your sides.

"Good," he sounded cheery for that second, "Okay, Mrs. Yeun is going to read the lines which will be spoken by the character, Will." He gestured briefly to the left in introduction of a lady holding a clipboard, "And after she finishes her lines, that's when you'll obviously speak. Start your first line when you're ready,"

Looking back, you're sure he must have repeated himself a million times that day with each audition, yet you still felt as though you were the only soul surrounded by strangers though many mirrored the same feeling. Inhaling deeply, you closed your eyes while your fingers curled into your palms- releasing the moment you exhaled- gradually opening your eyes once you imagined yourself as the character you were supposed to be.

"Will!" You exclaimed whilst envisioning the highlighted lines you studied thoroughly- waving your arms frantically in the air as if to gain the fiction boy's attention, "Will! I- I found it! I found the treasure!"

"You did?" Though the voice of a woman read the part, you still pretended to see a messy haired boy with a galaxy of life behind his almond eyes while he rushed to see what you claimed you had found, "By golly, you did!"

The man then wanted you to read more of a serious scene between your character, Rose, and Will. Trying to think of sad things to keep your expression gloomy, forced tears welled within your eyes just enough to make your character compelling which resulted in applauding judges bidding a slew of congratulations after jotting down a few notes.

"We'll reach out if you make callbacks," the man nodded once and that's all it took before you ran out of the room with a smile from ear to ear. It took only a few days before you received a call back in which you were able to audition a second time but in front of the actual director of the film. You returned to Rose, the character you had grown to love already. This time, it took weeks before you had a callback, ending in nights of nervous tears that maybe your dreams wouldn't come true after all- your parents reassured you despite the inner angst of wondering the same as you, and told you not to give up no matter what the circumstances.

It was the call that changed your life forever. Dancing in the kitchen alongside your mother who was stirring the batter for some cupcakes, you remember as though it was only yesterday, small fingers gripping the device before greeting the person on the other end.

"Is this [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N]?"

Your mom mouthed 'who is it?' when she caught the way your lips had parted in confusion at the male voice you couldn't recognize on the spot, but you answered, "Yes, sir," anyway. It was the screaming in excitement that nearly knocked the bowl out of your mother's hands when you heard the man confirm the hope you've so desperately held onto,

"Well, [Y/N]! I am thrilled to say that you made the part of Rose!"

Arrangements were then made- the company in charge of the movie rented a home for your family to stay in while the movie was being filmed, and considering the duration of how long a movie can be to make, your mother began to homeschool you to keep you from falling behind. On your first day of work, the cast members had gotten together to review the script. Your mother was hesitant to drop you off at first without her being by your side, but with the assurance from the director of your safety, she reluctantly agreed to let you go. Teary-eyed from the anxious feeling pounding in your chest, you walked into the room where a table full of adults greeted you along with two teenagers scrunched next to three empty seats. Not one soul seemed close to your age just yet, but you were politely introduced to your fellow castmates which relieved you enough to promise yourself everything would be okay.

"Hi, you must be Ye-jin!" The voice of a young boy rattled behind you causing you to gasp softly before whirling around to face your intruder. Dark hair swooped across his forehead where almond eyes presented eager, brown irises that beamed with kindness; his wrinkled light blue t-shirt was loose on his tiny frame as well as his jeans, and he was not much taller than you from what you observed.

"Oh no, sweetie!" The surrounding table erupted in frilly laughter, "I'm Son Ye-jin!" The most lovely woman you had ever seen gushed at his widening smile.

"Oh! Well, I'm Jimin! Park Jimin!"

"Well, the two of you take a seat. The director will be here any minute," a handsome man nestled beside Ye-jin gestured toward the empty seats you and Jimin waltzed to occupy. A few minutes of chatter filled the room while your eyes scanned the scene before as any child would do when uncertain of what would be happening next, but that's when a poke on your shoulder disrupted your stares,

"What's your name?" Jimin asked the second your eyes timorously moved to meet his.

"[Y/F/N]. [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N]," You replied, "And you're Jimin,"

"Yes! I play Will! You must play Rose,"

"I do!"

The director and producers filed into the room before any more conversation could be continued, and for the next hour, the plot of the movie was further explained, though now, being an adult, looking back, you understand the synopsis much more than when you were ten years old first hearing it. The main characters discovered a treasure when they were children, unraveling secrets that could be worth a fortune. When the couple became adults, though had lost touch throughout the years, they never forgot about the treasure and the two individually set out to find it yet again. Unexpectedly, they bumped into each other and a love/hate relationship ensued until they found what they were looking for.

You and Jimin started filming different scenes together over the next five months after the script had been explained and reviewed. The pair of you became inseparable, growing closer with each scene finished. There was never a day that went by where you hadn't begged your parents to let him come over just for the two of you to practice your lines for whatever scheduled time for filming was planned next. Your father would bring home ice cream whenever he got off work to surprise you, your sister as well as your newfound friend, and you will never forget Jimin's melted chocolate smile or the way the ice cream would drip from his chin onto whichever shirt he'd claim was his favorite. Throwing a fit of giggles, he would chase you around the yard until he'd catch you- tickling your tummy until you took your outburst back. He also loved drawing with your sister, something he wasn't very good at, but he liked giving her company to prevent her from ever feeling left out.

Whenever the cast and crew had days off, Jimin would return to his hometown and you never could shake the loneliness you endured without him around. Though your sister enjoyed drawing or watching a movie, you more so preferred being outdoors, or practicing your lines which had been a daily chore since you became a part of this movie project, and of course, when Jimin would return, the pair of you would be driven to set to get back to work.

One particular scene, one you will never let be forgotten in your heart, is a moment where Will and Rose made an oath to be best friends forever. You and Jimin were directed to a swing set where the two of you took your seats, slightly swaying forward while the cameramen stood where assigned. Powder was dusted upon you and Jimin's faces to finalize everything before the yell of, "Action!" was voiced.

"You know, Rose?" Jimin became Will almost instantly, a talent not many ten-year-old children can perfect, but from what you remember, he had and has continued to blow minds away even from the beginning of his career. His expression was serious while his gaze remained on you as practiced. "I need you to promise me something,"

Looking at your black slippers, you noticed the swings were edging simultaneously, but you kept your focus solely on the words you were about to speak, "What is it, Will?" You tried to pull off your best curious face.

"I mean promise, even if you get tired of playing checkers with me,"

"Yes," you urged.

"And, if you get tired of playing tag even though you're always 'it,'"

"Yes," you dragged the word length in attempt to feign impatience.

"I mean you have to really promise me,"

"Okay, Will! I really, really promise," the wind calmed just enough to where your hair stopped tickling the sides of your face. Jimin hopped off the swing while his footsteps paused to face you completely. Even though you both were in acting mode, there was something serious behind his umber eyes that only you could see. One of the cameramen moved to film the side angles of you and Jimin's faces in order to capture the scene the way it had been imagined. Sometimes, with the camera being so close, it was hard to ignore, but at that moment, you were too absorbed with your character and Jimin's eyes to even glimpse in the camera's direction.

"Promise me that no matter what, we'll be best friends forever," the blurred sight of Jimin's pinky finger carefully raised in your line of vision, and for dramatic effect, you were told to count to three before your cue to say your line,

"I promise," you curled your pinky and locked it with Jimin's while a shy smile became present upon your lips, "Best friends forever."

"CUT! That's a wrap!" The director had said, but you vaguely remember that. All you had on your mind was the moment you and Jimin had shared. Though your lines had been written from a script, the two of you meant every word. That's why the scene had seemed so believable because there was truth in it.

Jimin was your best friend since that very day, and you pursued your dreams and have landed roles in plenty of hit movies since moving back to your hometown seven years ago. You're now a pretty well-known actress, but others find you humble in the fact that you never seem to show it off nor let the fame get to your head. Being seen in public has become one of caution, yet you adore every fan that comes your way asking for an autograph or a picture just so the memory of meeting you can be burned into their hearts forever.

Your dad, after your first movie, was transferred to officially work at a better job that happened to be in the same city that Jimin and his family lived in, which prompted your family to move being your mom as well as his became very good friends. You attended school with him at this point which he guided you due to you had been growing used to homeschool since your first movie. It was safe at the time to roam the halls of school- you and Jimin never became really famous, but your popularity gained with the pupils once joined the drama club resulting in auditioning for every musical or play the school had to offer. So, did your partner in crime, Park Jimin.

"You're doing it again," you snap back to the present with a sharp shaking of your head to dissolve the thoughts now scattering into your subconscious. Eyes clearing, you realize you've been zoned out for quite some time considering the subtle crease of worry tinged within Jimin's gaze.

"Sorry, Chim. I'm kinda-"

"Dazed," he finishes your sentence- his pink lips pressing into a tease of a smile.

"You know me so well,"

"I do," he winks taking a sip of his water bottle- swishing it around before swallowing, "Want to go out tonight? My schedule's clear for once,"

With busy lives of movies, sponsorships, premiers, cocktail parties, and anything revolving around this world of being on the go, it's hard to truly find the time to spend together which is something you've forced yourself to accept. But, miraculously, tilting your head, you comb back through your memory to realize you are, indeed, free this evening, "I would really like that, Chim. Thanks," you smile, excited to spend time by his side without cameras rolling in both your faces.

"No problem," he slips his hand in yours, carefully scanning behind you to confirm that not one person is watching. His warm fingers intertwine with yours while he leans closer, plush lips nearly tickling your temple, "Besides, I miss spending time with you," he whispers, you repressing the obvious tingles spreading across your skin- you turn in the direction of where the exit is visible, him following suit though hands remain locked.

"You're spending time with me now," you tease.

"You know what I mean," he rolls his eyes, yet his smile remains so wide, you feel the elevation of your heart flying. You love his smile, everything about him makes your head spin into a dizzy world of happiness. He's one of the biggest heartthrobs in the world; girls go crazy with his presence being in the same room as them; and, with many knowing him and his six best friends like the Bible, they don't really know Jimin like you do. It's the same for you, too. You love your fans more than life; you love reaching out to them on social media- signing at cons- meeting them in public when recognized and hearing the endless compliments on how wonderful you did in whatever movie has been released where you're the star of the plot. But as many times as he's said it, Jimin will always be your number one fan.

The fan who knows you.

Starring alongside him in the recent movie the pair of you have been working on was intimidating at first. You're not sure on how the press will react, or fans, or... the world. Jimin landed the role of Sam and nearly begged you to try out for Kylee who would in due course be the love interest for Jimin's character.

"Please! I'm begging you! You'll love it! It has action in it!" He nodded quickly while a ginormous smile with the shimmering pearl of his teeth nearly blinded you- his hands clasped together beneath his chin before he popped up and down in desperation, "Steve Aoki is the director and when I mentioned you to play the female lead, he freaked! He agreed that you should do it! C'mon [Y/N], please! You'd be brilliant!"

"Is this another excuse for you to kiss me again-"

"So, what if it is," Jimin's hands unlatched, "Are you complaining?"

Though it was merely a tease, your chest heated with a deep shade of red- your head shaking incredulously as you placed your palms upon your hips. You dragged on about another minute with skeptical eyes before lifting your hands in defeat, "Okay, I'll do it,"

"YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Jimin grasped you in his arms while he spun you around- laughter being the only sound filling the space of his apartment. When you auditioned, you landed the role on the spot which led to Jimin whisking you into the air out of a manner of rejoicing. Your family cheered you on as well, proud of all your successes in the career you've accomplished. After skimming through the script for Kylee, you called one of your good friends, Maeve, thrilled about your new job. Maeve had played your best friend in a movie about five years prior, when you were nineteen, resulting in the two of you becoming real friends instantly.

"You already know I'm going to be front row when it's finally released," she said. The plot is about a young girl, Kylee, whose parents are spies and so is she. But a fatal accident happens that causes her family to go into hiding, and one boy's father had to pay the price. Jimin's character, Sam, is the son and had seen the face of Kylee's father and figured out the last name he had used when his mission had turned into a mistake. But Sam doesn't realize who Kylee is until he sees the ID cards in her bedroom- which is the scene you and Jimin had officially filmed nearly twenty minutes ago.

The conversation with Maeve then turned into how things had been going for her- how her boyfriend wouldn't take the hint that she wanted him to propose to her, "I don't understand why he's so blind! Like, do you love me or do you not? It isn't that hard,"

"Ah, boys," you snickered, "Shame, shame, shame,"

"Speaking of shame. Don't you have to kiss your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend, Mae. It's just for the movie," your words came off nonchalant despite the nervous tension that traveled throughout your body, and there were some things you haven't found the courage to admit to Maeve just yet. Besides, it wouldn't have been the first time you and Jimin kissed.

Daydream grinning along with the squint of your hazy eyes becomes apparent while the memory leaves you.

"What?" Jimin chuckles, turning to face you fully once the exit stands between your frames and the outside world. Your heart skips a beat from the way his beautiful smile stares down at you, and deep down, you wish you can tell him that, but the pair of you have been friends for so long, you're uncertain if making these feelings known is a good idea. Despite everything the pair of you have been through, you can't help but wonder if a relationship will bring you closer, or just tear your hearts completely apart. And, even now, years later, you're not sure if you can handle losing Jimin again.

"Nothing," you reply tenderly, eyes checking to examine his worn-out converse he has had since high school, "Just admiring your... fancy footwear,"

"Hah!" He laughs once, laying his head back, "I already told you, I'm going shopping today. Besides, I need a new outfit tonight, so wear something pretty," he pulls you in for a friendly hug, rubbing his free hand slightly on your back, each of you still holding your water bottles, yet you maneuver enough to nuzzle your nose into his chest.

"Since when do you care about what I wear?" Your chin moves to plop upon his chest while your eyes peer up at him with the arch of an eyebrow, pulling your lips into a goofy, tight grin.

"I don't," Jimin chortles, "But I know you do," it's the way he brings the tip of his fingers to your forehead tickling your skin to move a strand of hair so he can see your eyes clearly, "You look pretty in anything,"

If your heart isn't already combusting enough, it takes everything in you not to kiss him right then and there, and with a small huff in frustration, you pull your arms from his frame to then rest by your sides. "Alright then... pajamas it is,"

"See you later, [Y/Nickname]," Jimin tries to say between laughs, leaning forward to press a small kiss to your cheek. The old nickname makes you giggle as you watch him step beyond the exit. Memories from high school present themselves almost immediately gracing the strange feeling of being sixteen again in your Junior year and auditioning for the spring musical where you and Jimin had landed the lead roles. Jung Hoseok, a mutual friend the pair of you gained, congratulated you both with a huge smile many knew him for. You played a fairy who happened to be in love with a human prince and of course, you and Jimin not only had to sing but had to dance, too, which led to Hoseok practicing dance moves with you two in effort to help.

Overjoyed was an understatement though dancing had always been something to hold you back. Jimin is a phenomenal dancer- raw talent to the point he makes it look easy with the way he poises his body so effortlessly upon the stage- swinging his limbs to the beat of the music, emotion etched on every inch of his face. You remember the endless pressure that seeped into your skin building anxious fingers that clasped tightly together when you were listening to the script Mrs. Lee had written.

Saying quick goodbyes to your castmates, the reminiscent disappears for a fractioned moment while you gather your items before sprinting to the limo where your driver, Stan, awaits you. Shouts of hundreds of fans boom instantaneously at the appearance of you leaving the set. Security surrounds the area in case of any danger, and though you reach to open the door, you turn to wave with the best Red Carpet smile you can muster- blowing a kiss to add to your appreciation.

The limo holds a haven you've grown to adore since your fame took off. Shutting the door, you slide to rest your head against the tinted window, politely greeting Stan before your eyelids flutter for the crave of sleep.

Jimin came over countless times just to practice dance steps; every now and then, Hoseok joining, despite the chagrin that haunted the crippling blushes dawning your cheeks. For the last musical number, the Grand finale, Jimin had to lift you in the air by the waist with you posing your limbs exactly how Mrs. Lee demanded leading Jimin to spin you around during the growing intensity of the belting harmonies before returning you to your feet. It hadn't been easy- something you'd grown to learn especially with the helpless moments of him firmly gripping your waist right when you'd jump sending the two of you tumbling onto the ground in bouts of breathless laughter. After weeks of attempting this one lift you couldn't seem to perfect, your parents happened to be out of town one evening for taking your sister to an art gallery about an hour's drive away. Your mother had been a tad iffy with leaving you and Jimin alone, but you assured her that it would be fine- just because he's a male didn't mean that she couldn't trust the pair of you to behave being you two had simply been friends for years, and nothing more.

Once your family left, Jimin arrived, setting the music in preparation for the mini rehearsal you'd been dreading for the thousandth time.

"Okay," you exhaled, carefully placing your hands upon his shoulders, "Now, lift me," Jimin obeyed, hoisting you as high as he could with a swift grunt escaping his pressed lips. His fingers dug into your sides unintentionally, and before you realized you'd closed your eyes, excitement showed in the widening of your smile- he was holding you up! Finally, longer than ten seconds you remained there,

"I. Got. You," Jimin said between clenched teeth, until suddenly, his arms shuddered beneath you ensuing the shape of an "oh" that formed on your mouth.

"GAH!"

Jimin fell backward onto the couch- your side bouncing off the cushion for your gluteal muscles to meet the wooden floor. Stunned, you'd never seen Jimin's eyes so enlarged, but before you could gather your bearings, you blew at loose hairs that were static over your eyes,

"Ouch."

"HAH!" Jimin let out a high-pitched, one-syllable laugh, already covering his mouth with both of his hands to stifle the chuckling, but it was no use. Clapping a few times, he buried his shoulder into the couch while a breathy snicker escaped your side smile. Tears flooded your eyes from the hysteria of the moment- springing to your feet to then fixing your wrinkled shirt.

"Okay, okay," you breathed, trying to resume composure just enough to stop giggling at yourself, "Let's do this one more time! Chop chop!" Hitting your hands together like how Mrs. Lee tended to do to receive her pupils' attention, Jimin pranced to plant his feet in front of you, repositioning his hands on your waist, "Wait," you paused, concern abruptly covering his eyes while he waited for you to speak, swallowing, you began, "Chim Chim, I need you to promise me something," Lips in a firm line, you held his gaze. It was hard to be serious at times with your best friend, but for right now, you rejected from breaking.

"Anything," he nodded once, searching your stare, lips parted, and realizing how close he was sparked a strange desire that you never wanted to reveal before.

"But you have to really, really promise me,"

When a knowing smirk twitched on his lips, his eyes now held the memory that you were trying to remind him of, "Okay,"

"Even," you continued, "If I love beef bulgogi a little more than I probably should. And-" you paused for effect.

"Go on,"

"Even if you laugh like a maniac and I can't take it," teasing had always been something you both loved to do, and bowing his head with more laughter, he returned even closer than before- his warm breath brushing your cheek.

"Alright, alright! I promise! I really, really promise,"

Eyes still locked, you slowly raised your pinky finger up to him, investigating his expression letting nothing but the sound of the starting air condition fill the space,

"Don't. Drop. Me,"

A soft chuckle enhanced his smile causing a pitter patter beneath your chest, while you joined him. He brought the back of his hand to his mouth- something that he does when he's really tickled, and the sight of it made your heart swell in ways you hardly understood. How could someone have such a strong effect on you?

"First off, I prefer Kimchi stew,"

"Oh, you. Ham!"

Shaking his head in amusement, Jimin reached for your hand, hooking his petite pinky finger around yours to conceal the promise you had forced him to make, "I promise I won't drop you this time," he twirled you once like a gentleman, placing his hands back on your waist once you faced him.

"1, 2, 3!" Jimin, with all his might, boosted you into the air, immediately spinning you around. Now think ballet, you reminded yourself, holding your arms with elegancy. After four twirls, Jimin effortlessly set you down and overwhelmed with pure exhilaration, you couldn't refrain from rejoicing, "We- we did it! Jimin, we did it!"

Right then, you kissed him. Cupped his cheeks into your palms and pecked his lips. You hadn't been thinking entirely straight, but it all happened so fast that it took a second for you to comprehend. Hushed. Silence engrossed the room to the point that your heart throbbed in your temples mingled with the growing heat on your reddened skin- perspiration clammed your palms, yet the only thing frightening your state was the attempt on not panicking though you knew deep within your soul that you'd never regret it. Gulping, your eyes fell to the slow fall and rise of Jimin's chest- his gray shirt showing the iridescent silver pendant you gifted him for his past birthday staring right back at you.

You just kissed your best friend.

Jimin stood there, questions swarming full circle within your mind; feeling distraught, your lips pressed together to prevent the tears burning your nose. You remember figuring that he was angry with you, hence why he couldn't invoke any words to speak. But, unexpectedly, gentle fingertips lifted your chin, your eyebrows furrowed in surprise, but that's when your eyes met as if meeting for the first time, the innocence of the moment not once lost while you anticipated the sight of his nervous expression lowering to yours. You held your breath, eyes closing, every inch of the world disappearing. It was just you and him as it'd always been.

He kissed you. He kissed you right back.

With shivering arms, you wrapped them tightly behind his neck while he moved to encase you closer to him, bodies pressed into a blanket of warmth, you never wanted to uncover from. Feelings you had denied time and time again were showing in that kiss with Jimin- a surreal image you never dreamed you would experience, yet here he was, wrapped in your arms- lips moving to relock with yours so lovingly that your mind was rotating. Nothing could compare to the soaring of your heart, especially sharing something so passionate with someone you had grown to love so much, and this new feeling, one you'd never quite endured ignited a curiosity you couldn't withhold any longer.

The kiss grew aggressive, breaths increasing while dazed eyes remained shut, and though track of time had been misplaced, you no longer cared. Hands pressed against Jimin's chest, he gradually stepped backward until the back of his calves greeted the sofa- breaking the kiss, he swallowed anxiously, eyes never leaving yours- collapsing onto the couch before you propped either leg beside him in a perfect straddle. Snatching his kiss rapidly, your palms held his face while he finicked with where to place his eager hands, gliding up your back in awe of how beautiful you were to him.

You left him completely and utterly breathless, and you wanted this moment to last forever.

Everything had been going perfectly until your parents walked in-

SLAM!

The loud sound of the car door jolts you awake as you blink through the mild darkness. Previous memories fade for now, swiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand before thanking Stan for the ride. The white mansion stands tall beyond the gate where you punch in a code to then proceed onto the property. It appears your mother is not home momentarily, where as your sister and father are visiting an art show in another town, giving you time to prepare for whatever Jimin has in store for you later this evening.

There's a feeling of relief when kicking off your shoes, parading up the spiral staircase toward your closet that waits for your attention. Sifting through the rack of dresses, you close your eyes to randomly select from a hanger in a mechanism to prevent you from being in disappointment; yet, you find your shoulders dramatically dropping when you peek to see what is now hanging from your hand. You're uncertain of why you feel the need to judge every article of clothing you own, and you figure it has to do with impressing a guy, but you are aware that Jimin will accept you for who you are no matter what, so why are you so worried?

You love him- you wince, because that's something you are still struggling with confessing even though it has been blatantly clear since you were sixteen years old that you are wholeheartedly and irrevocably in love with Park Jimin. And, that never changed even years after losing him.

You remember that night like it was yesterday, the very first time you and Jimin kissed. Caught in the moment of what the pair of you secretly dreamed of with no recollection of how much time had passed. No bad intentions were going to be followed through, honestly no other thought from kissing him was even considered for you; all you cared about was how you never wanted him to leave.

But, your mother, unfortunately, assumed the worst.

There wasn't even a chance for you to stop what had already begun, it was too late- your parents walked right into the sight of you lip locked with your best friend, prompting you to immediately jump off him. The gesture was so quick that a slight headache thudded, and all that was flooding your widened gaze was your mother's horrified expression. She happened to be the first to enter the door while your father and sister lagged, luckily missing the already humiliating scene that nobody would ever want their parents to see. With gritted teeth, your mother's icy glower said enough, but she still voiced for Jimin to leave. Him flashing you an apologetic look while he stumbled to gather his things. Your father had no idea of what was happening until he heard your mother shouting at you for over an hour.

"I thought I could trust you!" Your mother jabbed a finger at you, pacing back and forth in front of you while you wailed into your pillows. "I can't believe you betrayed my trust!"

"I've already told you I was so-sorry-" You choked, wishing nothing more for this feud to end, begging the universe to turn back time, so you could have anticipated of when your family would have returned home- saving you and Jimin from this shame.

"What if we had run an hour late, huh!? For God's sake, [Y/N], you're only sixteen!"

"Mom! It-It wasn't like that!"

"Well, it sure looked like it!" Tears brimmed her eyes, because her heart was just as torn as yours, battling with what she should do as a parent, but also inwardly understanding what it was like to experiment in falling for someone at a young age. Something she hadn't really shared with her children. She had left the room for quite some time, trails remaining damp upon your cheeks before your mother returned with firmly crossed arms.

"Mom, I promise, it wasn't my intention," your voice broke, trying to gather whatever explanation you could, but she stopped you.

"I'm sure it wasn't, but I talked to your father and we came to an agreement. You will finish out the school year here, but once it's over, we're moving back home."

It was like your world shattered all at once in so many different directions, and there was no way to describe the abrupt halt of your heart mirroring in the way your eyes expanded in sheer dismay. "No! No, no, no- Mom, what about Jimin!? I can't just leave him!" The pain etched in your cries haunted your mother more than you'd ever know, but at the time she was doing what she assumed was the right decision.

"That's the point, [Y/N]. You're not allowed to see Jimin, speak to him, or even think about trying to see him. I've already spoken to his mother,"

"But- but what about the play?" You panicked, desperation clinging within your words, not wanting to process what was just demanded of you.

"I don't know. Right now, I'm too upset to decide."

It was the worst night of your life. One thing you never expected throughout your friendship with the one person who mattered most to you, was losing Jimin, especially knowing that once school ended, you would move back to your hometown, far away out of his reach. Your cellphone was already locked in your parent's room, and any form of technology, you would no longer be in possession of if your mother could help it. Bawling uncontrollably, you cursed fate for taking away what could have been.

The spring musical was the only time you and Jimin were able to truly see each other amongst rehearsals; and the night the play began, the pair of you performed with all you had, trying to mask the hurting as if it hadn't existed, portraying as though all was well when really your world was falling apart. Even when the evil fairy sprinkled dark magic upon the Prince's Kingdom, Mrs. Lee flew her fingers speedily along the piano enhancing the volume, imaging the chaos felt beneath your chest. The Prince and evil fairy battled it out until the enemy was defeated, the piano softening to a more pleasant sound that eased you enough to force your face into a loving grin.

The cast crowded around the both of you, but you hadn't noticed, because the only person you longed for, getting lost in his shining eyes was Park Jimin's. "Fairy, my love, listen to the sound of my voice," he bowed, reaching his hand toward you- hands collided tenderly, "Whether ye stay or whether ye go, you have a choice." You yearned for it to be real, that you had a choice- that you could stay with him. Stay with him there in this city where the two of you could remain best friends and possibly become even more. "Just promise me, as each day passes, that ye will never forget thy love or my Kingdom as long as ye live." You swallowed the lump in your throat, fighting tears at the finishing of Jimin's final line.

"My prince, in every dream I dream, I choose thee," though not within the script, Mrs. Lee always preached improvisation, and lightly, you touched his cheek, him flickering his stare between yours whilst leaning into your palm, the Kingdom rejoicing when Jimin pulled you into a crushing hug. The faint smell of his cologne met your nostrils causing you to memorize this moment as best as you could, so you'd remember everything about him. His touch, his hold, his smell, his smile. Anything you could take with you in hopes of getting to see him again one day.

When the intro of the duet is keyed from the piano, hand in hand, you and Jimin faced the audience, smiles as heart stopping as could be, belting harmony from beginning to end, both capturing the audience with every word. Blended voices were breathtaking when the cast joined in, finalizing the night with dancing eyes and goosebumps across the theater, and even more applause when Jimin effortlessly succeeded in the originally dreaded lift where he spun you in the air, returning to plant your feet upon the stage. While the crowd stood to their feet in an ovation, the cast had you and Jimin hidden enough, and although time was ticking, Jimin hadn't cared. His palms cupped your cheeks while you tried to read his hurried eyes, the tip of his nose brushing yours before he captured your quivering lips. The kiss was soft. So soft, and when it ended, he whispered through the loud whistles of the audience to where only you could hear, "I love you," he breathed.

"I love you," tears fell from your cheeks, and he gripped your hand as soon as the cast dispersed into a line, uncovering the pair of you as rehearsed, leading to everyone bowing while the clapping continued to reverberate throughout the building. Although, beyond proud to be a part of such a successful production, nothing could take away the pain hounding your heart when your hand had to ghost Jimin's to find your parents. Your mother refused to let you out of her sight, and whether your parents were proud of your performance or not, you never knew, because not a single member spoke on the way home. Instead your mind replayed the secret kiss Jimin gave you over and over to the point it welcomed you in your dreams. It was hard not to cry when you had awoken, eventually breaking into a fit of sobs wishing Jimin had been there to hold you.

Depression was evident in your demeanor, and there was nothing anyone could have done to 'fix' you, or the situation you felt so hopelessly in bondage by. When the last day of school arrived, it had been the worst, and you and the person your heart belonged to had not spoken in months. Times where he would glimpse your way in drama class, you just couldn't bring yourself to face him, because it hurt way too much to accept the reality that you were leaving. You figured his mother informed him of your family moving back, especially since he never seemed to give up on trying to get you to at least look at him.

That last day of class, you cuddled your music binder to your chest, backpack straps hanging loosely from your shoulders, and you strolled upon the sidewalk to wait for your father to come pick you up. It was a sudden moment, when you curiously turned to lock eyes distantly with your best friend. You both stared, yet the way your heart sank to the floor, all you wanted more than anything was to run to him, embrace him in all entirety, kiss him for what you presumed would be the last time, and savor the moments you would have had with him. But, you couldn't, and you didn't; instead, you mouthed three words that you meant with all your soul, 'I love you.' Jimin bit at the corner of his mouth as fresh tears pooled- he looked down momentarily as if destiny had betrayed him before returning his eyes to yours, 'I love you, too.' As if it could have been anymore of an opportune time, your father arrived right then to pick you up, and in fear that he had seen Jimin, your head whirled to look back where your best friend had been to see he was gone, prompting a painful, long sigh of relief.

It had only taken a week for your family to officially move, finding a much larger home which happens to be the mansion your family resides in now. Although the space was nice, it still took months until you forced yourself to move on from the dancing boy that had appeared in your dreams almost every night. The boy who had stolen your heart when you hadn't realized it. There was an attempt, when you were allowed your cellphone back, that you tried reaching out to discover his number had been disconnected, and despite the gnawing of confusion, you guessed his mother must have changed his number, the same as your parents had changed yours.

Eventually, after a year of returning to your hometown, which included graduating high school, your mother convinced you to get back into acting, to audition for as many things as you could until you found a job. So, that's what you did to keep your mind busy, scouring any information you could get regarding auditions for tv shows, movies, commercials, absolutely anything that would just keep you going. Sporadically, you landed the lead role in two separate movies, gained a celebrity friend, Maeve, and continued into the years piled immensely with interviews, traveling, movie premiers, award shows, your fame skyrocketing to the point millions knew your name.

And just like that, your world became brand new. Became a clean slate. Your past buried behind you while you sprung forward. Your success in the acting business brought numerous calls pleading for you to audition for their movies; businesses were begging you to promote their products; magazines arranged for your photoshoots where you appeared on a myriad of covers- you rarely had a clear schedule, and you liked it that way. Lights, cameras, paparazzi, meeting other famous individuals as well as meeting your fans, you were becoming happy again, you were finally returning to having a steady relationship with your parents, and your sister improved in her artistic ability. You were slowly forgetting about the boy you once knew.

You made callbacks for yet another movie at one point, but unfortunately, had not gotten the lead role as hoped for, rather, you played a minor character which ultimately gave you a break from the consistent moving. Your body needed a break; your mind needed rest, and so you decided to take a short break until you found the motivation to search for another job. The movie merely didn't make it far- critics claimed the plot had been too predictable, but it made it to the big screen regardless, and for that you were grateful. Another year passed, now being twenty-two years old, you and Maeve went on a shopping spree throughout the streets of your favorite city, sipping frappuccinos in the smothering heat of summer, a poster happened to catch your eye. Stopping to read it, the straw of your drink pressed to your bottom lip, Maeve's furrowed eyebrows veered from you to the poster.

"What is it?" She asked, ears perked to the sound of clicking cameras though the pair of you have learned to ignore it. Mumbling the words along with you, Maeve leaned forward, "Auditions being held for a romantic comedy this Saturday.... 9am to 3pm... Oh wow! You should audition!"

"What? Why me? Why just me?" You turned your head abruptly while studying your giggling friend.

"You said so yourself that you wanted to be in a comedy! And, there ya go, how much more of a coincidence can this be?"

"A poor one," you took a long sip from your drink quelling laughter from the incredulous gape Maeve flashed you.

"Are you not going to at least try? You are [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N] for crying out loud!"

You were tempted, and you honestly hadn't been in a comedy since you were... Ten years old. Chick flicks had mostly been your calling though funny moments of course were mingled amongst the seriousness. "That I am, but I don't sit on a throne, Maeve, I'm just as normal as it gets."

"If you define normal as putting your potato chips in your sandwich then I guess you're right,"

"It gives it a lil' crunch," your mouth missed your straw awkwardly, but you swerved just enough to catch it, "you should try it sometime."

"I'll try it when you audition for this movie," Maeve teased, "Which you will even if I have to drag you there myself,"

"You have much faith concealed in that tiny body, but okay,"

So therefore, you auditioned. It was the lead role you applied for which was about a character who caught the eyes of two guys the second she stepped into the school. The movie seemed hilarious from what you could collect, and you were shaking your head in laughter when you called Maeve exclaiming how you had gotten the part as she predicted. Although, she squealed in glee, she was dreading the idea of adding potato chips to her sandwich as she promised she would if you made the part.

The following week, you couldn't wait to meet your co-workers as well as the rest of the crew, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were immeasurably curious of who would be casted as your character's love interests. Though numerous options, it was hard to guess, though your mind filtered through familiar faces in the acting business. The producers and director filed into the room when chairs began to fill, slapping a thick script in front of everyone.

"There's been a slight change of plans for the story," the director said, prompting your eyebrows to knit together as you wondered what he could potentially mean, "Instead of two guys fighting over you," he pointed in your direction, "there will be seven!"

Interested grunts and 'awes' echoed in the space, and you nodded in surprise; seven? Seven men wanting you all at once? That would sound farfetched to any woman, even in the position you're in as an actress, it remained unbelievable. The director rubbed his hands together, "They couldn't make it today, but we will officially meet them tomorrow to finish looking over the script."

It seemed as if all you did was blink when you made it to set the next day, dressed in your favorite boot heels and casual wear- you weren't paying a bit of attention when you suddenly smacked dab into someone who happened to over tower you.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Ma'am!" He said, his fingers tickling your arms from where he hoped you would stay steady.

"It's fine! I'm sorry, I should have been watching where I was going," you chuckled against the chagrin burned red upon your chest, and you couldn't help but be starstruck by the incredibly handsome face staring down at you. Noticeable dimples rested on either side of his grinning cheeks, and the coffee color of his eyes radiated kindness, and of course, you wondered innocently if he was one of the potential love interests the director mentioned the day before.

"I'm Kim Namjoon," he offered his hand which of course you took, enchanted by his smile, but you scolded yourself interiorly due to the obvious fact of not knowing him personally enough to care on whether he was available or not. There seemed to be a recognition in his countenance that you typically notice when people realize who you are, and you couldn't help the flattery when his hand still latched to yours picked up the pace while shaking it. "Oh my gosh! You're the [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N]! My girlfriend loves you!"

"That is so sweet of her," you were still blushing, but deeply touched by his words. Namjoon, dropped his hand in embarrassment from how long he had shaken yours, mumbling an apology, he slid his slim hands within his pockets.

"I must say, I am very honored to meet you. I've seen two of your movies with her and you were phenomenal!"

"Thank you very much, Namjoon! That means a lot. I hope I get to meet your girlfriend soon, she sounds like such a sweetheart," you tried to think if you had seen him in anything that had come out recently, but couldn't place a thing. You continued into the same room as yesterday, pulling your script from your bag, you settled into a seat before observing your surroundings, noticing in your peripherals Namjoon taking a seat beside a guy who appeared very quiet. Long, straightened blue strands spread upon his forehead while his dark eyes scanned the room. His lips were thinner compared to Namjoon's, and they rested contently while he leaned back in his chair. You tried not to stare too much, but when he caught you, you grinned instead of averting your eyes, relief flooded your senses when his lips raised into a side grin in return- his nametag reading 'Min Yoongi.'

When the seat on the other side of Yoongi skidded against the concrete floor, you instinctively looked to the sound, beyond amazed at the sight you saw. You weren't one to spike perspiration on the lining of your forehead just from seeing a man, but with the way his bandana complimented his brown tendrils neatly stacked on his head, you were beside yourself. His square jaw was locked in concentration while his petal pink lips pursed- his chocolate eyes rushed over the lines where he opened his script.

"Kim Taehyung?" A staff member asked, Taehyung nodded in reply, the worker placed the nametag before him, rounding the table to set yours before you. You would honestly never get used to people knowing who you are prior to an introduction considering the staff member had not questioned if you were indeed you. Thought aside, you were very taken aback on how sculpted this man was to a heavenly perfection.

"No, I didn't mean to trip the guy, I just wanted some food!" You vaguely identified the male whose windshield wiper laugh pleasantly greeted your ears while he found a seat, "Seriously, I hadn't seen him standing there." He poised his head enough to lock eyes with Min Yoongi, and you tilted your head curiously with question if they happened to know each other. But my, so far, who you assumed were going to be the men who were going to fight for your love, you were quite mesmerized by their beauty.

"Hello, my name is Chan-ri, I'm a huge fan of yours, how are you?" The exquisitely rosy cheeks of a red headed female entered your vision, and hearing her name, you remembered her from a TV show you binge watched with Maeve before. Genuinely, you offered a handshake, her comfortably taking the seat beside you. After you thanked her for her compliment whilst answering her question, she leaned in closer to your ear, "Is it just me or are these guys ca-ute?"

"The one in the bandana is looking better and better," you winked.

"Gosh, I couldn't agree more. And, I don't know if you've heard the rumors. But, the singer Jeon Jeongguk, apparently auditioned for a role,"

Eyebrows raised when you heard his name, "You're kidding!" You gasped in excitement. "Euphoria is literally my favorite song by him!"

"I could rave about his music all day long!" His presence entered the room as if on cue, hushing you and Chan-ri into bottled-up giggles, her winking at you in a way to say, 'we will talk later when the coast is clear.' A man with even redder hair than Chan-ri followed behind the well-known singer, and your lips parted in a silent gasp along with your amplified glance. "H-Hoseok?" He immediately sought for who said his name, and when he realized it was you, he couldn't help the smile that decorated his face.

"[Y/N]!" He greeted loudly, shuffling to collide into your hug, "Wow, how have you been? I haven't seen you in years!"

He helped you with dance moves for the spring musical sparking memories you hadn't reminisced in what felt like a lifetime ago, but here he was, in the flesh. "What a small world, I've been wonderful! How are you, Hoseok? What have you been up to? Look at you! So handsome!"

Hoseok thanked you before catching up with his life- he decided to go into acting when he graduated from Konkuk University with his soon-to-be fellow co-stars Seokjin and Yoongi which all made sense as to why Seokjin seemed comfortable talking to Yoongi earlier. Due to the encouragement of an individual he befriended, in high school, Hoseok explained how it stemmed him to chase his dreams, and here he was, auditioning for his first movie, excited to reunite with a familiar face from his past. He sat on the other side of Chan-ri, making conversation with her while you focused on the twiddling of your fingers. A poke on your shoulder made you jump an inch,

"Excuse me, is this where we meet?" A lighter voice spoke, but there was a distinct familiarity to it. When you faced the direction of where the question came from, the first thing you visualized was a silver necklace holding a pendant you hadn't seen since you were sixteen- one that you gifted someone as an emblem of your friendship- you were confused because not many people owned this specific piece of jewelry, and when your eyes slowly made the adventure to the individual's face, the rigidity paralyzed your frame faster than you could anticipate. Those eyes.

You knew those eyes. Better than anyone.

There was no stopping the intense hammering of your heartbeat; your temples pounded profusely, and he was frozen in place at the sight of you, because of your eyes. Neither of you moved, because there was disbelief at who either of you were looking at- his hair, now dyed, gleamed sleek blonde tendrils parted but long enough to tickle the lateral canthus' of his eyes, face thinned in a mature eloquence. It had been nearly seven years since the last time you ever saw him, and even then, he reflected your confusion, anxiously collecting whatever jumbled words he could form into sentences, but it was too late. The director enthusiastically entered the room, dispersing the moment just as quickly as it came.

"Greetings everybody! I see you've met our seven new cast members!" He grinned ear to ear, gesturing his hands toward all the guys. Shivering, but trying to keep it maintained, you watched your long-lost friend take a seat across from you next to Jeongguk. "Oh, and here's your nametag," the director plopped one in front of Jimin, you swiftly dropped your gaze, gritting your teeth in reaction to the strong waves of shivers plaguing your body. He was there. Park Jimin, as though you were acquainted with a ghost, was sitting right there in the midst of the small crowd, but with the way your muddled state was feeling- it had been only you two.

"Alright, let's open our scripts to page three. We need to review some main points of the story line." The director informed, but you were hardly listening, yet you kept your eyes zoned upon the booklet before you, only flipping pages at the sound of others doing so. Too many memories spun nonstop like a whirlwind, and you could sense Jimin glimpsing at you in the same wonderment as you were.

The trips to Mcdonalds where you both would split a large fry and dream about the future; the afternoon at school when the pair of you laughed about some cocky kid who face-planted in PE while playing soccer; the days you'd go jogging together and joke about anything under the sun; the moment when you two were drawing with your sister, and you thought Jimin's cow doodle was a duck. One of your fondest memories was your fifteenth birthday when Jimin, even Hoseok, along with your parents planned a huge surprise party just for you; the get-togethers with the drama club; auditioning for the lead roles in the spring musical and landing them. And the grand finale, when Jimin kissed you on what had been a final goodbye before exiting the stage that very night.

Nobody, other than Hoseok, in that room knew of the friendship you and Jimin once had. Nobody in the world would have known except the pupils the two of you attended school with. You were aware that if Jimin were to become famous, people would dig deeper to find that the both of you were in a movie together at ten years old, and all the other evidence that would explode within the media. You, to this day, will never forget the anxiety shooting through your figure while you pretended to review the script wishing you had the guts to just look at him.

The meeting ended in a blur, and you slung your bag over your shoulder, death gripping the script, and rushing out of the room where you felt as though you had been suffocating. You did not want to relive the heartbreak, so in desperation, you wanted to run.

He stopped you before you could even make it halfway to the entrance.

"Wait!" He bellowed. People were bustling by without any concern, but with the risk of a paparazzi capturing this moment you knew would need to be private, you ducked into the other side of a large staircase that appeared vacant aside from a tall plant, and Jimin followed suit- you spinning to see him sprinting toward you. For once you then understood when people described something to relate to a scene from a movie, because there was the love of your life, as if in a movie, running until he reached where you were. He was breathing heavily from the frenetic gesture, and understandably speechless, the pair of you weren't sure where to remotely begin. Swiping a slow hand through his hair, he looked so exquisite as he always had, and though you didn't want to revert to staring at the tiled floor of the opposite side of the lobby, you did. Carefully, he slipped his hands into his pockets, pressing his lips together in apparent worry.

"You're- you're blonde now," though small, a hint of a smile tinged your lips, a breathy laugh broke through Jimin's tight-lipped grin that infamously made his eyes disappear.

"Yeah," Jimin whispered tenderly, "Felt it was time for a change, ya know? Have been getting it colored since my twentieth birthday," breaking the ice enough, you found the strength to meet his gaze. His lips parted to then close multiple times, until he wetted them, "As you can tell, I honestly, don't know what to say, but, my God, I am so proud of you,"

"Jimin-" your voice broke, chin trembling from the burning tears when you knew that he was referring to your success, and the woman you have become. He stepped closer, releasing one hand from his pocket holding it out as if to calm the nervous tension.

"Really, [Y/N], I- you-" stammering through his words, you could see that he was blatantly in as much shock as you were, processing the fact that his long lost love was standing before him in all your glory. "I gave up acting in high school," he swallowed roughly, "as you can imagine, I was going through a rough time." He had been terrified to admit the reasoning considering the pair of you had no idea what had happened personally in each other's lives in the time between, and though he battled with what to say, he found the courage to just say it regardless, "When I lost you, I felt like- I just felt like there was no reason to really try anymore."

"Jimin," you whispered as if pleading with him, "I tried reaching out to you, but your number was disconnected- it was, it was disconnected, I-"

"No, [Y/N], please, don't cry- it's not your fault- Please," this time, he inched so close, that if you would have collected enough bravery, you could have rested your forehead at the curve of his chin where he could have invited you in for the warmth you could fall forever deep in. Eyes refusing to break contact, he continued, "After I saw your first movie, there were a few interviews I listened to where you said some of the most encouraging things, and I realized, if there was anyone I aspired to be like, it's you." Surprise lingered in your expression, because how could any of this be real? You knew stories like this were only filmed for the interest of the world, so how could someone you once cherished return out of the blue to tell you exactly what you needed to hear? "You, [Y/N], are the reason why I never gave up on myself. Why I never gave up at all. Why... I decided to go back to what I loved."

You were his inspiration, and because of that he ended up here. Back when you thought fate was so cruel to take him away from you, here he was, back into pursuing his passion for acting, all because he never gave up on you. You hated falling apart, you hated crying unless it was for the cameras, but in all vulnerability, especially when Jimin pulled you into his arms where your nose pressed into his chest, you cried. With all the pent-up emotions from a time you tried to avoid, you cried. Jimin refused to let you go until you were okay, and without any delay, you stayed by his side, repudiating from going home when you had seven years of catching up to do. There was barely any attention on anything, not even how Jimin opened his hotel room door without you stealing his kisses to the point you couldn't breathe. Fingers tangled into his shirt, he kicked the door behind him, emotions pouring from the way he kissed you as though he was going to lose you again. The most experience you knew, sexually, was from scenes you filmed with other actors- mostly steamy make out sessions, but you had never personally done the 'deed' in reality. Your back plopped upon the bed, palms pressed on either side of Jimin's jaw where your fingertips graced his hair, his hands cradling the sides of your waist while he continued to part his lips so gently with yours.

"Wait," you stopped, Jimin's enlarged eyes flashed concern as though he may have hurt you, "No, no, you haven't done anything wrong. I just- I just," you trailed off, chest rising and falling to steady your nerves. "I've never..."

Jimin exhaled a sigh of relief, bowing his head enough to where his hair feathered your cheeks, "I haven't either." You would be lying if you said you weren't surprised especially with all you had heard from stories others had told about men when it came to sex. But, at the same time, you always knew Jimin was different. Or, maybe it was purely meant to be, how you two abstained from something that was destined to be saved for the pair of you to share with one another. "I don't," Jimin's eyes flickered between your own because if there was anyone, he had an immense respect and adoration for, it was you, "I don't want to rush you into anything-"

"Jimin," your thumbs ran along the soft skin of his face, halting his words, "I want you,"

There was a hopeful smile that beamed from him before he covered your lips with even more kisses, making your head spin in a bliss you only ever felt when being with him. "Are you sure?" He pulled away; eyes boring into yours as if reading every inch of your soul.

"More than anything," you nodded, lifting your head to touch your lips to his for only a mere second. He was so in awe of you that he would do anything for you, and that never changed and never will. Kissing him was the most captivating addiction, and you never wanted it to end. Still completely clothed- the innocence would have been humorous in others' eyes, but the two of you were learning. And, the two of you were wanting to learn together and that's all that mattered to you. Park Jimin had never made you feel uncomfortable at any point that night, and you knew he wasn't going to overstep any boundaries. The fast pace of his lips sparked a feeling to rise within your core- a new feeling you wanted so eagerly to explore, the warmth was nearly smothering your panties, and you instinctively spread your legs to where he comfortably remained, his hips grinding his clothed erection along your area, where the crave to feel the entirety of his skin was all you could think about.

Breaking the kiss, you trailed your fingers underneath his t-shirt, his stare timorous whilst you lifted it past his head, exposing the rock-solid muscles toned along his arms and abdomen. Your mouth watered causing you to gulp- never in your life had you seen such a masterpiece, even from his jawline to his soft, blonde hair- you still couldn't muster how ethereal this man before you was. Tossing his shirt to the ground, he remained above you, the necklace you gifted him years ago dangling before he kissed you hard while your fingertips soothed along his back, his hand moving to cup your attired breast, tenderly squeezing it releasing a soft moan from your lips. Just the feel underneath your fingertips of his warm skin made you anxious to feel him molding into you- gripping his wrists, leading them to the end of your shirt, Jimin lifted it off you- your lacy bra staring back at his broadening eyes which caused his breath to hitch in the back of his throat.

"Oh," he groaned, "[Y/N], you are so perfect," his words nearly brought you to tears; your hands rested upon his cheeks, bringing him back to you to plant a soft kiss on his thick lips, him lowering to where his skin finally met yours, the enticing move enveloping you all at once, you could hardly contain yourself, exhaling against his lips just for him to brush his tongue along yours. One by one the clothes came off until his bare legs were jumbled with yours, his erection rubbing along your dampened heat, his thumbs caressing your nipples- the ticklish feeling caused your fingers to dig into his back. Jimin nipped at your collarbone, leaving numerous kisses along your chest, moving backwards to kiss along your stomach, the wetness lingering while your eyes slammed shut in utter paradise. He pecked along your hip bones, his hands never leaving your breasts until he made it to your inner thighs. Slithering his fingers to cling onto your quivering limbs, he spread your legs, his breath panting tepidly along your folds, his eyes widening with the urge he always wanted to fulfill, and only with you. You had never experienced this, and though you had heard of the such thing from various sources, you were curious to know what it felt like. Your clit rhythmed with your hyperventilating, him moving to kiss your inner thighs before returning to your vulva. Your toes curled along the bed sheets, your body tensing in preparation- and that's when he did it.

Gently licking his tongue along your slit, up and down, the motion emancipating a high-pitched moan from your throat which motivated him to continue. He brought his fingers to spread your folds, your core clenching while he sped the movements of his tongue- licking and licking until your hips involuntarily began to shift- your fingers gripping the bed sheets- sweat beading your forehead. For a few minutes, he continued to pleasure you, the tip of his tongue sliding against your clit before returning to hover above you. Though you were uncertain if what you were about to do would be done correctly, you moved your hand to hold his erection, gliding up and down gradually, him hissing with how good it felt to have your hand wrapped around him. That gave you the inclination that everything was being done smoothly; Jimin rested his lips to where your heart pounded, then moved to suck your nipple while your hand did the work, his hands squeezing at the mattress in response to the growing feel of an orgasm.

He stopped you, not wanting to cum too soon, instead interlaced his fingers with yours and rested your closed hands against the pillows above your head. Your core still tightening from how aroused you were, both of you held each other's gaze, you nodded that you were ready. Ready for what you two had been longing for. He swallowed nervously, "I, um, I don't have a condom,"

"Oh," you seemed a bit more scared than how you really felt, "well, I mean, I am on birth control for my... monthly cycle, so I don't think... I should be good," relieved, his knees rested on either side of your legs; lips parted, Jimin's eyes met yours, him leaning forward to stay above you- your legs raising to spread in preparation- while his one hand rested beside your head, he took the other to hold his erection to your heat, your shoulders tensed from the butterflies swarming your stomach.

"Are you sure?" His whisper was nearly inaudible, but nothing in this world would ever change your mind.

"Yes," you nodded, breathless. "Please." Your hands moved to rest on his shoulders- slowly he began to push within your walls- the pain nearly brought you to tears- but, you clenched your teeth, forcing yourself to relax just enough for him to penetrate further, his heart thrumming beneath his chest, especially with the pain he did not want to inflict on you.

"[Y/N], I'm so sorry, are you sure about this, I don't want to hur-" he paused immediately when he heard a muffled cry escape you.

"It's okay, keep going," your eyes were squeezed shut, and you eased your body from the tension knowing he was halfway there. Steadily, he moved further until all of him was within you, the worst part finally being over, you calmed yourself enough to stare into his eyes, your breaths increased, yet relief flooded your countenance because now the pain was subsiding just enough for him to proceed. He thrusted slowly, his lips passionately syncing with yours as your fingers tangled with the smooth tufts of his hair- with one hand, he rested his fingertips above your clit, rubbing affectionately whilst sexing you- the building of the fire below causing your muscles to taut. How something so powerful could bring such a wondrous escape you would never be able to equate,

"Mmm," you hummed against his mouth- the sensation of the orgasm finally reaching its peak- him jolting backward, to finish pumping his spillage onto the bed sheets to then watching you unravel from the ecstasy released from your core. "Holy shit," you could barely find words- perspiration covered each of your bodies, the heat nearly stifling yet still wanting his skin upon yours lingered. He embraced you once the sensitivity dimmed- you nestled your face into the side of his neck.

"We did it," you whispered, finding it adorable how accomplished you feel, and Jimin pressed you tighter to him, his fingers running along the side of your arm- him moving to brush a gentle peck to the side of your forehead.

"We did it," he repeated, a large, contagious smile spreading across his face- a smile you had fallen in love with once upon a time. You shifted just enough to where your arms hugged behind his neck- bare chests pressed together- your leg lacing around his waist, his hand sliding to rest upon your hip. The silver pendant entered your sight, and amazement hovered,

"You still have it,"

It wasn't a question, more of a softened statement; it was the first time you mentioned it aloud, but Jimin knew exactly what you were talking about, "I never planned on taking it off," rendered speechless, you kissed him one more time, letting every piece of him whisk you away- and nothing could ruin this moment. Park Jimin was back in your arms, and nothing was ever going to take him away from you. Not again.

-

The fabric of your dress feels silky beneath your palms as you slide them to smooth out any wrinkles. Makeup finished as well as the curling of your hair, you are proud of the dress you chose to wear- it being your favorite color, and one you confidently feel Jimin will love just as much. For some reason, you feel anxious about seeing him tonight, though you don't know why exactly. You have known him a total of fourteen years, yet it still feels like you are seeing him for the first time with any day he is standing before you. Flicking off the lights to your bathroom and bedroom, you scurry down the stairs with your black clutch in hand, entering the living room in the direction of the front door.

"Well, someone looks extraordinarily beautiful tonight,"

"Oh! Mom! You scared me!" You gasp, chuckling when you turn to see your mom leaned against the door frame that leads into her office; her arms are crossed though she smiles at you suspiciously.

"Sorry, honey. I was on Facebook when I heard heels, so I came running,"

Lowkey a fashion guru, your mother always enjoyed seeing the gowns you would be fitted for events, and knowing you haven't had anything lined up recently, she rushed intuitively to see what her daughter is up to.

"Well, what do you think?" You twirl in place, the dress brushing your knees before hanging in place.

"What's the occasion?" Mom raises a brow, though you know she's teasing. Your mother has always been one who liked to be aware of where you are in case if something were to happen which you know that is how you would be if you had a child. Though aware of your fame and constant schedule, your mother wants to at least know you're safe, especially when you are followed most of the time in public.

"I'm... going to see Jimin tonight," you have refrained from bringing him up countless times knowing it can be a potentially uncomfortable topic for your mom, but you refuse to lie about your whereabouts for fear of something that might not be the case anymore. Distant, you notice the way she seems closed off, like something is drifting a cloud of culpability above her head. "Mom, are you okay?" Worried that something may be wrong, you question: does she not like him? Sadly, you truly have avoided any conversation revolving Jimin; even when he came back into your life, it still made the topic awkward.

Mom bites the corner of her mouth before letting out a defeated sigh, "I'll be right back." She steps into her office, and your eyebrows scrunch in obvious curiosity as to what she is doing. Waiting patiently, she makes her way to you, hand outstretched with a folded picture she gestures toward you. "I found this the other day, and I thought maybe you should have it." Your mother slightly grins against welling tears, and when you reach for the picture, you carefully open it, tears filling your own eyes at what you see.

It's a picture of you and Jimin from when the two of you were either fourteen or fifteen- taken in the evening since it was dark in the background; you figured it must have been cold because you were wearing a jean jacket while he wore his favorite gray hoodie at the time with the bolded word 'Supreme' written in the center. His arms were draped over your shoulders, and you could see the top of a Mcdonalds drink resting in his free hand. The pair of you were smiling so wide defining the happiness the two of you brought to each other on any given day.

"I remember this," you murmur, looking back at your mom, "Our families went out to eat together, and you and his mom were taking God knows how many pictures," you kid. A tear pangs your mother's cheek as she shares a smile with you.

"I remember too. It was such a great night."

"It was," staring at the photo, your heart swells, "Thank you, mom."

When you step to hug her, that's when she loses it- tears spilling down her cheeks while she holds you so close, "I'm so sorry," she sniffs, "We could have worked everything out- grounded you, supervised the two of you or, something! I shouldn't have forced you to move away."

"Mom," you plea, not wanting her to hurt because it breaks your heart to see anyone you know, and love upset. The both of you have held your feelings about the situation for seven long years and never even tried discussing it. Sometimes, talking can be the best medicine- not only do you have to think before you speak, but forgiving the person long before the two of you work things out can really help solve a problem. All one must do is listen.

"I just... I panicked! I didn't want my daughter to make a mistake. You were so young-"

"It's okay, mom, really. I understand,"

"I wanted to even force you to switch out of drama class, all because I was so scared. I didn't even want you in the play. Your father convinced me to let you perform because," she pulls away and holds your arms, wanting to look in your eyes that mirror her own, "He reminded me that we were young once too. We met at sixteen, you know that. And I just remember feeling so guilty when he told me that," your mother looks down for a moment to gather her words, "I could have lost my daughter because I believed I was doing the right thing. I should have trusted you, and I am so, so sorry for everything."

"Mom," you hug her again, "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago."

"Oh, it's so good to know that!"

"And, mom, if we never moved back to our hometown, I wouldn't be as successful in my career as I am now. You encouraged me to go back into acting, and for that I will forever be grateful. Besides, Jimin came back. That's all that matters," your reassurance mends her heart together as she carries pride in her eyes on how far you have come in all that you have endured.

"I love you. And, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, anything at all, you know I'm here for you,"

"Even if it's about Jimin?" You giggle lightheartedly, tucking the picture of you and him in your clutch for safekeeping.

"Even if it's about Jimin." She smiles, "Now what are you still doing here? Go! Get out! Have fun, and please be safe!"

Skipping out the door, the feeling of closure overwhelms your soul, and for once, you feel as if life couldn't get any better, and now you and your mother can one hundred percent be the rock you will forever need no matter where life takes you. When the black SUV that holds your favorite driver, Stan, appears, you burst through the gate and into the back of the car, for him to hand you a small note.

Meet me on the rooftop. Your Chim Chim xo

You reread the note with a smile when you make it to an elevator upon arrival to Jimin's hotel- Stan saying to call whenever you are ready to be picked up. You're amazed how little people seemed to be roaming the hotel, and as a normal for you, you scoped your surroundings in case of any clicking cameras before stepping into what will lead you to your destination. Reaching the top floor, you find a staircase that you presume will climb you to the rooftop, so in determination you begin, trekking up the flight of stairs until you pause at a door.

Inhaling and exhaling calmly, you slowly push open the door, rounding a corner where an intriguing scenery causes you to gasp in surprise. Stringed lights glisten, covering every pole of mahogany wood that encloses the area together. Candles are blinking upon an elegant, black table for two adorned with silverware, lid-covered plates, a wine bottle, and two empty wine glasses. Flowerpots are hanging from different sections of the balcony, bringing more color to the patio; sparse trees fill the rest of the space, the atmosphere exuberating nothing but serenity. Jimin did all of this for you.

Eyes searching, you finally find him, in a black fitted suit, hands in his pockets while he stares at the starry sky. Taking the time to admire him, you have always been so in awe of how genuine he is. Treating his fans with all the love, constantly caring for his family, keeping up with his friends, and for always being there for you no matter what it takes. He listens to you the same as you do for him and being in the entertainment business where rumors spread like wildfire, sometimes a listening ear is what one needs. He has been everything you have ever wanted, and he always will be.

You clear your throat, "Well, sir, you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to spend time with me."

Whirling on a heel, his expression eases when he sees it's you, "Hey!" He beams, eyes disappearing from how big his smile spreads. "I didn't hear you come in. How long were you standing there?"

Noting how he seems embarrassed, you can't help but find it irresistibly adorable, "Not long," you promise, watching him step in your direction.

"Good, I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, Chim. I don't even know why you're worried, silly,"

"Whoa, you really took me seriously when I said to wear something pretty," Jimin reaches for your hand while you lower your head timidly.

"Look at you! You look like a model!" Jimin throws his head back at your compliment, "And, look!" You point at his shoes, "New shoes! Look at those beautiful, new shoes!"

"I told you I was going to get new ones today!" He tries stifling his laughter in the crook of his arm before sliding your chair out for you to sit.

"And, have I ever told you how much I love the blonde hair on you? I feel like I don't tell you enough," One thing you have learned over the years of knowing Jimin, is he blushes just as easily as you do. When one compliments him, he can't help but slump in his chair before burying his forehead onto the back of his wrist.

"Why are you making this about me," he whines playfully, "I want this to be about you,"

"But, it's always about me, maybe I like to spice things up a bit to appear humbling," your eyebrows wiggle, sending Jimin in another bout of giggles.

"Speaking of spice, are you hungry?"

"Famished," you dramatically emphasize, Jimin shaking his head at you with amusement while he reaches over to lift the lid of the plate. A steaming slab of steak laying scrumptiously on a pile of rice makes your mouth water, even when your eyes trail to the seasoned vegetables beckoning you to devour them. "This looks so good," you acclaim, preparing a fork and knife in order to start slicing. Jimin has already taken a bite in agreement. Deciding to take another swoop of how beautifully the décor mingles with the design of the patio, you speak after swallowing your first mouth full of meat. "I wasn't expecting this," you say softly, looking back at Jimin who cocks a musing eyebrow.

"What did you expect? Mcdonalds?" Jimin grabs the wine bottle, succeeding in opening it before he pours each of you a glass.

"No, you brute, the patio! It's wonderful up here."

"I wanted everything to be special." He murmurs, lifting his glass after holding your eyes, "You deserve it,"

In all honesty, you are at a loss for words, because how you ever deserved a man so loving, you will never know. And amidst conversation, you briefly remember the picture your mother gave you before you left, and deciding to make this known, you wet your lips, "So, I talked to my mom earlier this evening and," you prop your elbow onto the table after gripping the memory within your fingertips, the back of the picture facing Jimin. "She gave me this, and I wanted to show it to you."

Handing it to him, he gently takes it, a reminiscent grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I remember this," he says, "my brother actually teased me because..." He trails off, his grin falling for a moment. "I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend that day, but I chickened out." Your shoulders fall a bit though your heart flutters. Jimin was going to ask you to be his girlfriend? What made him afraid to? You open your mouth to speak, but when you find no words, he continues. "I had assumed that it was just going to be me and you going out that night with Jihyun, but, then both our parents ended up coming."

"That's still so sweet of you," you assure him, wanting the guilt that clouds his eyes to dissipate.

"I like this picture by the way." He holds it up and hands it back over to you. "I want a copy."

"I'll print one for you," you pact, his sincere eyes never leaving yours- all you know is if the table between you didn't exist, you'd kiss him. But as if he reads your mind, he reaches across the table and intertwines his fingers with yours; your eyes still locked preparing to say something, but the scrape of the door makes the two of you jolt and hands part. "Dessert!" A waiter lays out two white bowls in front of each of you, to then taking up the emptied dinner plates.

"Chocolate ice cream?" You say as Jimin smirks at your mouth falling open in glee.

"Our favorite," he winks, bringing a fourteen-year-old memory back in loop of the days where he loved to wear it on his face, and you never let him live it down. Chocolate syrup is drizzled over the dollops, a leaf of mint nestled on top of a scoop to complete the appetizing goal.

"I thought you said you weren't good with girls," you scoff, pressing your spoon into the dessert.

"I'm not."

"Then what is this?" you say quickly, gesturing to the dessert of symbolism.

"I think what you're trying to say is I'm romantic," He raises a brow, pointing his spoon toward you. "Besides, I think it's about time that we admitted that we are committed."

A warm sigh brushes over your cold lips, the taste of the ice cream melted on your tongue, because you know he's right. What have you really been afraid of? Was it really your mother for the fear of her still not accepting him? Well, now you know that she will accept him, so that's not an excuse. Were you afraid of the hateful words that would be thrown your way if the press were to confirm a relationship between you two? In the end, it's about you and Jimin, and despite hate, what would it matter if the world knew? Candidly, you want to protect him from the media, but your strong feelings of keeping him safe are equal to how much he wants to keep you safe.

What really scares you, more than anything, is losing him again. And, you have remained in this strange thought that if the pair of you stayed simply friends that maybe it would prevent heartbreak. Others, for example Maeve, you know would be highly confused by your thought process on the entire subject because why not be in a relationship with him when you both already seem like you are in one? What's crazy is you know Jimin loves you more than anything in this world, you can feel it, yet the pair of you have not said it since you were sixteen years old. The couple years of him returning made you fall in love with him all over again, and the truth is:

You would love to be his girlfriend. You would love to just be his forever.

Before you can respond, the subtle sound of a guitar begins to play through speakers you notice are hanging a distance behind the flowerpots. As if on cue, Jimin stands to his feet, patting his lips daintily with a crumpled napkin before tossing it on the table. "You want to dance?" He asks you, offering his hand.

"Always," he leads you to a secluded spot upon the balcony, and his arm rests behind your back. The volume of the music rises just a notch, you squeeze his shoulder once before resting your head on his chest. The side of his chin brushes your forehead while he sways you so gently, and merely getting lost in the feel of him. Your heart pounds to the rhythm of the song, and you swallow against the nerves enveloping your chest, and you let the song finish into the start of the next one, when you pull away enough to gaze into his eyes. Concern etches in his irises the second he sees you, slowly swaying to a halt. "Jimin," you breathe, fingers tightening their hold on his hand and his shoulder unintentionally, but he is ready to hear what you have to say, no matter what it may be. "Jimin, I know the past two years have not only been the most trying, but they also have been the most rewarding," you timidly drop your gaze to the silver necklace he has resting on the collar of his shirt before returning to stare at him once again, "I am in love with you, and I am ready beyond belief to let the world know it."

Nothing will ever be more magical than watching Jimin's smile grow, and the second it does, Jimin puts both hands on your waist, hoisting you in the air, spinning you around from the excitement he feels soaring all around his soul. You let out a loud laugh, linking your fingers behind his neck, your body leaning forward just a bit as your legs bend to where your heels almost reach your back. "I got you!" He laughs as you lightly lay your chin on his soft bundle of hair until he settles you back to your feet. Jimin, the one who stuck with you from the beginning and will stick with you until the end; the one who knows you more than you know yourself at times, the one you can laugh with, the one you can cry with; the one that you know will never want to lose you as long as he lives.

"I love you so much," His beautiful, brown eyes continue to bore into yours and just the pure love in them nearly brings you to tears, and in this very moment, something rings true- that if this man doesn't kiss you right now, you're going to lose it! Running your left hand through his hair, you stop at the back of his head. His wide smile turns into a grin as he leans closer to your face, resting his forehead against yours prompting your lips to part in preparation for his kiss, ready to feel the fireworks bursting in every place of your heart, ready to be wrapped so tight in his arms, ready for him to leave you breathless as he always does. Jimin then slips a hand off your waist and holds up his pinky finger to you- it catches you off guard, but it the most beautiful way.

"Promise me something, [Y/Nickname]." he nearly whispers.

"Anything, Chim,"

"Promise me that no matter what... You'll love me forever."

A tear slips down your cheek as joy overflows you, because from the first promise the two of you ever made to now, every memory you both have shared has been forever written on your heart. And you know from the look in Jimin's eyes, you both will be sharing plenty more.

"I promise, Jimin, " you say, bringing your pinky to his and wrapping it securely. "I will love you forever and always. Now... you better kiss me before I change my mind!"

Thrusting his head back in flattery, he shakes his head at you with glimmering eyes as he straightens himself to where he can cup your face with his palms. There is never a dull moment with you, and he knows a playful remark always has to be congruent within the seriousness, and when his plush, warm lips touch yours for the first time this evening, the fireworks begin, but instead of in the sky, they are literally bursting in every direction of your heart. No camera, script or film can ever describe how real this moment is. How true it feels. You both hold each other tight, feeling not only love but forever. As Jimin kisses you, sparks ignite, both your heads spinning, hearts pounding and cherishing every second, excited for the future.

Like the end of a perfect movie, you can faintly hear the beautiful song, singing the words of your promise, come to an end.

[a3theatrejunkie]

Don’t be silly Wrap your Willy!

Hanasaki Private Academy, St. Flora Middle School, and Ouka High school Students have to take care of a baby for a school project. For more context look at this post

Hanasaki Private Academy- They got robot baby dolls

St. Flora Middle School- They got Eggs. Each of the eggs have the St. Flora logo printed on it to prevent students from 

Ouka High School- Got bags of flour to be made into a baby,just random bags of flour.

SPRING TROUPE-  

Masumi is doing pretty well with the baby, she doesn’t cry much.(That’s because you have your headphones in. dumbass.) He gets a full nights sleep too. (That’s because Tsuzuru is usually up and takes care of her out of habit.)Tries to get the director to marry him this way. “Please. I’m a single father. My daughter needs a strong role model.” “Her name is Izuumi. Get it? It’s our names put together.” He and Sakuya talk about their children like their real.

Sakuya is baby and now he has a baby too. His child’s name is Romeo, he couldn’t think of anything else. He has a realistic experience with the baby, late night feeding, baby crying during rehearsal, and struggling to budget with a new member. Grows attached to the baby fast, his own little baby, his family. Doesn’t want to seem rude but gets nervous when other members of  Mankai holds his baby. “O-okay but take his burp cloth! and make sure his neck is supported. A-and!....” “Sakuya I’ve got like 12 younger brothers.” He cried when the assignment was over.

Itaru “Can we get an ‘F’ in the chat?” He remembers having one of those robot babies,their annoying and cut into his free time. Apparently you can use a strong magnet to mess up the sensors and get an easy A. Haphazardly holds the babies to play video games, He’s never been asked to hold the babies since.

“Sakuya...Masumi...” Tsuzuru worries about him getting too attached to the baby and Masumi using the baby to flirt with the director. Gave both of them some old baby clothes so they wouldn't have to buy any.

Citron loves the new members of the Spring troupe! He gives... interesting advice. “Do not worry! I’ve helped over a thousand woman and a thousand elephants give birth!” :D

SUMMER TROUPE- 

Yuki made cute little clothes for his egg and carries it in an equally cute basket. He was actually excited for this project so he could practice making children clothes but unfortunately St. Flora gave them eggs instead of the dolls. His child is named Omelette, because that’s what’s their gonna be after the project is over. While creating a budget as part of the care assignment spent over $400 of clothing. 

Muku keeps forgetting his egg everywhere he goes, he’s doing his best. His egg has a little crown on top of their head. The eggs name is Endymion, he’s gonna grow up to be the best prince ever. A some point  he forgot where his egg was and accidentally knocked it off his desk. It broke. Muku cried, the Summer troupe held a funeral and the egg prince is buried in the Mankai courtyard. He didn’t fail since he completed all the budgeting, and other sidework that came with the project but lost a good chunk of points.

Tenma is adjusting. “Why can’t I just hire a nanny? It’s in my budget.” “Well what are the chances you’ll actually become a famous actor?” “???....?!...?!?......” Anyway he hates having to carry this stupid bag of flour, the paparazzi is gonna have a field day with this. Named his child Tenma Jr. and he’s also gonna become an actor. Tenma practically spent all of his budget on luxury items, designer clothes, foreigner cars, and a million dollar house. Forgets about utilities, “What the hell is rent???”  Not adjusting well. Doesn’t help that Yuki calls his child, Hack Jr.

Kazunari- LOL! He remembers having to do that when he was still in grade school. He ‘Babysits’ while the younger actors are working or doing a scene. He’s the best uncle ever! #Blessed💖💖💖💖 Offered to redraw the ST. Flora logo onto a store bought egg when Muku’s broke, but Muku’s an honest prince, so he and Yuki decorated a coffin for the funeral.

“Poor Muku, You’re egg broke but it became a bunch of mini triangles!” Misumi didn’t help much. 

AUTUMN TROUPE-

Surprising or not, Sakyo is the most serious about the assignment. “Children are expensive and time consuming.”  Whether It’s a bag of flour or a robot doll, Sakyo makes the students of Autumn troupe take proper care of the children.He helps the students that need to make budget though.

“Hyodo if you don’t get get you child off the damn floor i’m calling your school and reporting you for Negligence.”

“I don’t know Nanao, are you gonna pay me to watch your child?”

“SETTSU!??! YOU CANNOT TAKE YOUR CHILD APART!”

Worst Grandpa ever

Omi is a little more helpful, but he agrees with Sakyo that this is an important assignment. While in school he totally bombed the assignment, but as an ex- delinquent he’s seen a few people start families waaaayy too young, It’s very stressful. Doesn’t want that for any of the Autumn Troupe. He’s willing to hold onto to the babies free of charge. Nice Grandma, probably gonna turn her grandkids into dinner

Taichi is already on thin ice with his school, he turned his flour baby into a monster child,(Ya know the little monster character he’s always drawing)

“Haven’t you seen Alien?!?!?”

Now he has the struggles of raising an alien child as a single father in highschool. “His name is Zognoid XJ-9″ 

It was fun at first for Banri, a new challenge approaches, but now the Baby is cutting in on his gaming time and what ever else it is he does. It hard to be a tough guy when your carrying a doll around. Considered taking out the batteries, but if Sakyo found out he’d fail the project. His baby is named Majima.

Juza was kind of excited for the project, maybe it would make him seem less intimidating, but no, it seems he’s gotten into more fights due to this sack of flour than before. No matter he’ll project this baby with his life, he calls her pudding. All was well until fuckin’ Settsu started calling his daughter a ‘cocaine baby’ Juza threw a few insults back and Banri punched him...in the baby. Flour went everywhere. Juza saw red. He grabbed Banri’s babydoll and though him outside into the street. People saw. Thought it was a real baby. The police were called. Sakyo had to call in A LOT of favors and explain it was just a doll. Both him and Settsu nearly failed and got chewed out by Sayko for almost ruining the companies image. 

They had separate funerals, once again buried in the Mankai court yard

BONUS! WINTER TROUPE-

Tsumugi thinks its great the kids are learning responsibility and that childcare is no joke. Brought flowers to the funerals.

“Oh! THE WOAHS OF CHILDREN, BUT THE LOVE OF A LITTLE JOY YOU TAKEN INTO TO YOUR SOUL.” Homare find this amusing and inspirational. He remembers his egg project and how- blahblahblah. Gave nice loooooong eulogies during all the funerals.

Azuma thinks it’s funny, he’s old so he never had to experience the baby project. Although the sight of seeing these new families makes him a little sad. Better drink some sake.

Tasuku “What the fuck is wrong with y’all.”

 Hisoka I’m Sleep.

[siriuslyblack12]

high school paracosm

this might be the start of a mini-series where i share little bits and pieces from my paracosms/paras out of all of my current paracosms, this has the least world-building yet the most character development. it’s my second-oldest and definitely has a special place in my heart (i would literally die for any one of these characters lmaooo). it’s essentially about a group of british high school students dealing with all kinds of angst, drama and a fair amount of happiness.  i’m very scared to post this so we’ll see how it goes.

vanessa pierre

cis woman

bisexual disaster

dating cass johnson 

scouse

bottom set

she’s a natural ginger but dyes it black. blue eyes. white.

funniest person you’ll ever meet

shitty home life (to be specific, her dad left and she hasn’t seen him in years and her mum is addicted to alcohol and drugs. she tries to help her mum, but a lot of the time she has to sleep at cass or ruby’s house, or in the worst circumstances on the street.)

because of this, she always gives spare change or food to homeless people even if she didn’t have much to begin with.

her home did get better after her mum’s new boyfriend daniel checked her into rehab and group therapy to get help. everyone’s trying their best to make it work.

dyes her own hair. it’s part of her aesthetic.

friendship wise, she is closest to ruby. although she loves cass more than she loves herself.

cass johnson

non-binary 

attracted to women but doesn’t really label it.

dating vanessa pierre

top set

light brown hair with an undercut. brown eyes. mixed race.

the literal kindest, most caring and least judgemental

has a good relationship with their parents and 12 year old sister violet who are all very supportive of anything they do. definitely the type of family to  buy out the front row of every concert cass is in.

their biggest passion is musical theatre. a very talented actor and singer, their most notable role being ‘belle’ in the school production of ‘beauty and the beast’ that they also directed.

animals are also another big interest. when they get out of school they want to become a vet to help and care for all kinds of animals, and throughout high school donates any spare change to animal charities.

they’re pretty close with everyone, but particularly ezra and jonah

quite insecure about their body, but masks it with positivity and kindness. 

makes everyone around them happy.

ruby diaz

cis woman

straight and a very big ally

dated jonah blue for a year or so, but currently single

top set, very much what people would label a ‘tryhard’, ‘sweat’ or a ‘nerd’

dark curly hair. freckles. latina.

twin sister of asher diaz

she’s a very empathetic person, more often than not putting everyone else’s needs above her own. this could be to her detriment, but she’s making an effort to balance her own mental health

divorced parents, but she stays positive. goes to her dad’s house on weekends.

she likes to think she doesn’t care, but at heart she’s a hopeless romantic. the biggest shipper of every couple in the school, but particularly her brother asher and cole.

speaking of her brother, it’s one of those dynamics where they play fight constantly but would certainly die for the other

the cutest pet dog lmao

she’s a very outspoken activist, often lecturing her mum and older family members about their implicit biases

closest to vanessa and asher

asher diaz

cis man

gay

dating cole harrison-singh

middle set

dark hair. blue or brown eyes. latino.

twin brother of ruby diaz

coming out was really hard for him, as it is for a lot of queer people. he hated the fact that everyone made it such a big deal, and that they treated it as this big thing even though he’d been feeling this way for as long as he can remember

plays guitar and sings quite well, in the school band

his relationship with cole is tentative, but once they figure out their dynamic they’re extremely cute. we love to see it.

he was more affected by the divorce than his sister, and now feels quite protective over her as a sort of father figure that they no longer really have. definitely some issues he needs to work on.

very athletic

him and ezra are best friend goals, and he’s also obviously close to ruby

jonah blue

cis man

pansexual

dated ruby diaz, but currently dating erin saeli

top set, but one of those people really talented people that can get good grades without breaking a sweat

shaved head. brown eyes. darkskin black man.

his main hobby is swimming and he’s on an elite team that probably trains 6 or 7 times a week. sometimes he finds it hard to juggle that and school and a social life but he could never give it up

art is his hidden talent. mainly because he keeps it personal, but also because no one really expected someone as confident and outgoing as him to enjoy drawing and painting.

he and ruby stayed really good friends even after their breakup

if anything it made them closer 

closest to cass

ezra cheung

trans man

aro/ace

single

bottom set

dark hair. blue eyes. chinese.

he first figured out he was aro/ace when he was about 14/15 and everyone around him started to feel more comfortable in their own sexualities. his friends would talk to him about crushes and he’d just smile and nod.

mental health is something he really struggles with. fitting his life around bad days and episodes is a chore in and of it’s own. 

but he’s trying his best to get the help he needs and reach out to his friends whenever he needs someone to talk to.

would punch transphobes except he’s too nice

closest to asher and cass. him and cass bond over gender and cute kittens.

minor paras:

cole harrison-singh

cis man

gay

dating asher diaz

top set

brown hair. blue eyes. white.

adopted by lesbian mums, lily harrison and naveena singh. these two are an absolute power couple

he and asher met through the school band and he’s a very skilled piano player. despite this, he gets very shy when it comes to performing in front of other people so doesn’t do it often.

experiments with genderless clothing and makeup

just an all around good person

martha quinn

cis woman

straight

single

top set

ginger!! blue eyes and lots of freckles. white.

a teahcer’s pet to her core, would sell anyone out for validation (honestly me too)

doesn’t get along well with any of the other paras, but does warm up to them and make an effort to be a better person eventually. character development

crushed on jonah when he first moved to the school but got over it quite quickly

erin polka

cis woman

bisexual

dating jonah blue

middle set

long dark hair. thai.

works at mcdonalds part time

a girly-girl who is no less amazing and strong than the other women (i will have no internalised misogyny anywhere near me thank you very much)

big introvert. when she does speak or show passion in something you know it’s well thought out and communicated.

very very pretty. if she was real i would date her.

[na-klar]

“all answers! I OKAY with Lukas” translation (part 1)

Annika: So! We didn’t change clothes!

Lukas: Heh, what?

Annika: It’s a few weeks later but we’re still wearing the same clothes. And hello guys and welcome to this video. I already announced a few weeks ago that there will be an extra video about transgender in regards to the series Druck which is also by funk, it’s linked in the description. Its 3rd season was about...

Lukas: ...Matteo, a gay boy who firstly has to accept the fact that he is homosexual himself, and then falls in love with David. But as he realizes that Matteo is very much interested in David, he distances himself because he’s transgender and doesn’t know how to deal with it.

Annika: And we’ll talk about a few scenes I picked out. It’s best if you watch the show first, it’s linked in the info box--

Lukas: There’ll be spoilers here...

Annika: Yeah, here will definitely be spoilers, just now, in fact. I think we should stop rambling now and begin! 

Okay, in episode 25 David distances himself from Matteo because the point is drawing near that he has to come out as transgender sooner or later. Now I wanted to ask you if something like this happened to you in real life as well, i.e. that someone fell in love with you and you had to come out and it got worse because of that.

Lukas: Uhm, no, for me it was that if you’re trans -- this is my experience, I can only talk about my experience -- uhm, during that time where people start dating I had to spend a lot of time with myself, inevitably, because of puberty when things changed that made me not feel comfortable. Which is why during that time there was no place for a relationship or sexuality for me. And my first relationship was when I -- I wasn’t out, I wasn’t out to school -- but the relationship was from a youth club in Hamburg, a LGBT youth club, that’s where I met him and he was pansexual and then we were together. And yeah.

Annika: Yeah cool!

Lukas: But that was -- well, until now I never had this situation regarding a relationship where I really waited such a long time for it to get problematic, but I understand it very well; he came to school with the intention to just get through it, he was bullied at his old school... But I would advise everyone to be as open with it as you can, because at the end of the day you have to talk about it and if you’re really important to that person, then...

Annika: Yeah, I always tell men before they fall in love with me that I’m lesbian, so...

Lukas: Every man, really, right?

Annika: Yes it’s so exhausting!

Lukas: Hello, I’m lesbian, I know, I’m sorry.

Annika: Hello I’m lesbian!

Then there was also an iconic line in the show: “It’s not you, it’s me”

Lukas: Yes!

Annika: A classic, I’ve said it before, have you?

Lukas: Mh... Yeah.

(his phone rings)

Annika: Hey now! Mobile phones have to be turned off during class!

Lukas: My mom called.

Annika: Raise your hands if you said that line at some point. Nice.

Lukas: I think in that moment David says that as well...

Annika: But it’s so true!! I mean if you don’t have feelings for someone than it’s you yourself. Well, also it’s the other person because they’re not compatible with -- okay let’s move on.

So! Next thing I wrote down, episode 28, the outing.

Lukas: The outing. *dum dum dum*

Annika: I wrote this down because... Matteo, in that moment, was really overwhelmed by the information.

(cut to druck clip of David coming out)

Is that-- does that happen often, that people are really overwhelmed with the situation when you tell them that, yeah, I was a woman, I mean-- uh, that’s also reprehensible, isn’t it?

Lukas: Yeah yeah yeah, a woman, ah??

Annika: I mean physically!

Lukas: Physically!

Annika: Phew! It’s so hard, I’m sitting here and have to struggle...

Lukas: Me too, hello? Even I can say something transphobic. But, that’s the thing: when I say something transphobic it’s always like “No. He’s transgender, he can’t be transphobic, that’s complicated”.

For me it’s like that by now, yes. When you’re not passing, when people look at you and are still like... have to think about it then it’s mostly like... “okay, huh, what does that mean?”, which pronouns, which names and stuff, but by now, since I’m very passing fortunately--

Annika: Passing means you are,,,

Lukas: That you’ll be recognized as the gender you feel.

Annika: Learned something again.

Lukas: Exactly. These are the terms. And then it’s mostly just “Huh? Okay?”... But I honestly have to say that I don’t run around and say hey I’m trans when I meet someone.

Annika: Hey! Lesbian!

Lukas: Yeah, like that! Even a lot of the cast -- background info -- a lot of the cast, even when we were in the middle of filming, thought I’m cisgender. They didn’t know I’m trans.

Annika: Awesome. I also thought, I really would have liked to watch this without knowing that you’re a trans man. If I would’ve checked that or not. You can write in the comments how that was for you.

Lukas: Yeah, if one of you didn’t know that spoiler already.

Annika: Yeah, and now a general question that might be a bit emotional, but... does rejection happen often?

Lukas: Rejection... naturally there are friends that come and go. When I came out pubically, in school, there were a few people who distanced themselves but that was okay for me because I don’t need these kind of people...

Annika: I always say you can sort out your friends really well like this. If people stay with you despite that information -- this sounds so stupid -- because you’re still the same person as before, then they are real friends and people who are like “oh my gooood nooo byeee” then you can sort them out, that’s what I always say, which is why it isn’t a loss.

Lukas: Yeah, with transgender it’s always like, “are you someone else now?” but you’re still the same person, it’s just the gender that’s now right and the way you feel and how you want to be addressed as.

I had a job offer with children that was denied because I’m transgender. And that, that was... that hurt a little. But that was in the moment that they told me “can’t you work as female here?”

Annika: What?!

Lukas: I mean, “start working here, that’s almost the same, we also had lesbian people here” and I was like yeah. Cool.

Annika: What is that even-- What even is the difference???

Lukas: Yeah... they were like, “we’re afraid the parents might have a problem with this and that you’re confusing the children”, so these classic statements...

Annika: Oh my god... Every kid that I touch turns lesbian. It is contagious.

Lukas: It’s difficult.

But then I declined with thanks to work there as a girl.

Annika: A scene that I found beautiful is when Matteo talked to his flatmate and the flatmate just said “hey, what even is your problem with David being transgender? What do you like about him?” and this question was so nice, what do you like about him, because I think the same thing. I love that person not because they’re a woman but because the way they are. I mean, that she’s a woman is an influence, but... the person themselves is important. That’s what I wanted to say and that’s what I found beautiful.

(cut to druck clip of Matteo talking to Hans about David)

Lukas: And that is what you have to decide for yourself, to say, okay, can I imagine being with a trans man -- I can’t force anyone to be into me?

Annika: I can.

Lukas: But in the show it was nice for me to have Hans ask what is the important thing.

Annika: Then it comes to the big outing in school. Because the PE teacher doesn’t want to grade David as a man but as a woman.

(cut to druck clip of the coming out)

Lukas: You can’t say that it’s not unrealistic. It is realistic.

The problem with school is always grading and especially regarding PE, boys and girls are graded differently, and...

Annika: I always got so upset because I wanted to be graded the same way as boys, they’re not better than I am! But at high jump I was kinda glad that girls were graded differently...

Lukas: That scene is only on the phone’s display and we started to act this scene in the changing room and Neuhaus says to David “but that’d be so positive for you, you’re getting better grades then!”. Mr. Neuhaus in our story -- that was important for us and the actor -- he’s not just evil. He’s not doing this to make David feel bad but he wanted to help him actually. David reacts accordingly, he’s like uh no? and that’s what makes him mad, he has his plan and that didn’t work out. And with school it’s difficult, there are a lot of things that you have to be aware of. Before I was out I talked to my school for about a month what you can do, with names, on certifications and such, all of that has to do with your ID and burocracy, uh, pretty boring stuff. And toilets, for example, too. In one scene, David comes out of a toilet which is actually a toilet for the teachers. At my school I got the key for the disabled toilet, which is of course a bit... critical... transgender isn’t a disability. That wasn’t what that meant. It draws attention to you, which isn’t convenient but... you have to find solutions so that everyone can deal with it.

I think what you have to say is that the reactions of the students on that staircase are a first reaction. It’s not something where they group up because they’re standing there a bit like chickens on the roost and are like “okay. now you’re over. You’re out of this school”...

People react to a new information that they didn’t expect and that’s the big thing in that moment.

Annika: Especially at that age there’ll be big gossip.

Lukas: When I came out to my school, my classmates reacted really positively and were really nice and I don’t want anyone who’s transgender and watches this show to think this is what will happen, I mean you can also see in the following episodes that--

Annika: That everyone stand up for him because that’s something normal.

Lukas: Exactly.

Annika: Often it’s better to be self-confident, because then people think “okay, I won’t say anything then”. When they realize that you’re an easy target then they attack you.

Lukas: Right. You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are or what makes you different but be proud because that’s what makes you to the person that you are.

part 2

[jokersmild]

I still owe a number of things, but I wanted to take the time to explain my interpretation of the Joker's romantic inclinations - particularly in regards to Harley Quinn and Batman. Heads up that this is incredibly long, hence the readmore!

To understand the Joker, you have to first understand that he is completely and utterly insane. That's not to say that he doesn't follow logic or make rational decisions, simply that if normality is a spectrum with pale house, picket fence, a 9-5 job, and two pets on one side, the Joker is on the exact opposite side. He is the embodiment of chaos, and so he cannot feel 'love' or anything similar in the way that the average, mentally sound human can. Love is something that he's capable of processing - he loves jokes, he loves violence and death - but when it comes to loving creatures that are alive, what he feels would be more comparable to curiosity in varying levels. At his most curious, you have Batman and Harley Quinn. His least curious would likely be harmless animals, newborn babies, and mundane tasks. The more curious about something the Joker is, the longer he keeps it around, and the more he attempts to mold it to fit a shape he finds most pleasing.

I'm sure most of you who have read this far already know the story of how he came to meet Harley Quinn, but just in case, I'll summarize briefly. She worked as a psychologist fresh out of college at Arkham and talked her way into getting Joker as her first patient. She wanted to write a story on him to gain fame and fortune, but he ended up seducing and manipulating her, turning her into the Harley you know today. The reason he put so much effort into twisting her into something he finds pleasing is because he saw her potential on their very first meeting. The Joker is incredibly intelligent, especially socially, and is capable of picking up on the subtlest of hints. He spent (likely) somewhere around a year as he patient, testing her, prodding for minute details like her favorite colors, her hobbies, and her grades in school, and given all that time, he was able to learn enough about her past and personality to successfully get inside her head. The more she fell for his lies, the more she stretched as he pulled, the more he wanted to do more. She became an experiment of sorts, a test to see just how much he could change this prim and proper pencil skirt wearing doctor to someone like him - a murderous clown who views life as a joke. When she finally snapped and became 'Harley Quinn', he had intended to toss her aside, since his test had been a success and there was nothing more to see. But she continued to surprise him. She proved herself to be competent as a henchman where no others had before, she proved that she could match his pace, complement his theatrical appearance and mannerisms, and that she had far more to show him than he'd thought possible.

A fact worth noting is that the Joker never intended for her to fall in love with him. He doesn't suffer from any self esteem issues (in fact, it's quite the opposite as he has Narcissism), but he assumed that a woman nearly half his age would have no interest in an asylum inmate. When she first showed signs of romantic attraction, Harley genuinely surprised him. The Joker's past has never included romantic relationships (note, I mean the Joker and not the man he was before), and he never intended it to aside from his pining for Batman. He wasn't sure how to react for the first time in ages, and it was the fact that she was able to render him speechless and stunned that began his spiral into what he later realized is love. After she joined with him, after the months of pet names, hand holding, hugs, and soft kisses on cheeks and foreheads, the Joker realized that he enjoyed her company. And not in the way that he enjoyed a crying, screaming victim's, but not entirely dissimilar to the way he felt about Batman. The Joker wanted to keep her around, keep her happy (as he does so enjoy her laughter and excited squeals), and name her his number two. Once he came to that conclusion, he became ill. He knew that it wasn't 'The Joker in love with Harley Quinn', but rather, the man he was before (Jack, John, or Arthur if you please) in love with her. She appealed to what tiny scraps of sanity he had left. Harley showed him unconditional affection and kindness, she was patient with him, supportive, and an ever present source of camaraderie. Sure, she had fallen for The Joker's clowny antics, but she fell for the glimpses of sanity that only she had been able to see. The Joker worried that keeping her close would ease some of the symptoms of his insanity, that he would cease to be 'The Joker' if he and Harley remained an item. So he attempted to kill her. And when she didn't die, he learned that she was no pushover - he had turned her into something near an equal. At that point, he had little choice but to keep her close. She knew his secrets, had seen him cry of all things, and he had unknowingly given her power over him that no one else, not even Batman has. He loves her, not just his sanity, but even the Joker himself came to love Harley for her tenacity, insanity, bloodlust, and theatrics. It makes little sense why he would abuse her as he does if he loves her, but the Joker, as I mentioned, does not process love in a sane way. He continues to test her to this day, and the most common test is of her loyalty. No one is a constant in his life aside from Batman, the other Gotham Rogues shift from friend to foe in moments, and he'd convinced himself she would be the same. You could say that he's incapable of accepting that he's loved, and because he refused to believe she would stay with him, he continued to prod her in search of the button that would trigger the 'leave' response. Now that he found it and she has truly left him, he can't accept that, either. He made her, his tests are the reason she is who she is, and she will always love him. She has to love him, because his sanity will always love her. It's similar to not knowing what he had until it was gone - although he knew what he had, he simply wasn't capable of carrying the weight of love.

In Batman's case, the Joker loves him because he created the Joker. Think of it as a sort of... accidental 'Mad Love' scenario. In many of his origin stories (the Killing Joke being my primary inspiration), Batman led the Joker to the chemical vat, and his dark and brooding nature is what encouraged the Joker to take on a light and jovial one. They are day and night, light and shadow, and the Joker feels Batman completes him. A world without Batman simply wouldn't make sense (a concept he's currently struggling with here in isola), as you can't have a left hand without a right. It would just be a hand. Batman would just be a man dressed as a bat, and the Joker would just be a clown.

The main point to take out of the differences in the Joker's feelings for Harley and Batman, is that the Joker is obsessed with Batman. Their relationship is one of need. It is the stage on which the Joker's theatrics take place and Batman's stoic and determined nature shine. What he feels for Harley isn't need, but rather, comfort. He doesn't have to put on a show for her like he does the rest of the world. He doesn't have to wear the lipstick or the suit for her to see him for who he truly is. If our resident Harley wants to explain her feelings for the Joker, she's more than welcome to as I can't speak for her interpretation, but what I do strongly believe is that Harley will continue to love the Joker because he's the first person who looked at her and saw her, not what she presented. They have this in common, the ability to understand one another as no one else can, and thus they will always be connected - whether it's romantic or platonic. They claim to despise each other, and while Harley is more likely to be vocal about her hidden desire to care for him, the Joker feels the same. He's said as much to her on a few rare occasions, even though most only see his aggressive and violent behavior toward her. That's just one aspect of his emotions, and it's crucial to keep in mind that the Joker sees himself as an actor, the co-star alongside Batman, and he's nothing if not dedicated to performance. He has many faces (no pun intended), and there are as many Jokers as there are comics, movies, and shows he appears in. Each writer has their own opinion, their own ideas, and I have mine.

In conclusion, I ask that you take a moment to consider that the Joker is more than he appears. Yes, he is a serial killer and a terrorist dressed as a clown. But he is also a man whose wife and child died the day before he fell into a vat of toxic chemicals that forever altered his physical and mental state. I don't want anyone to sympathize with him - The Joker is intended to be a truly terrible and awful villain, someone who feels not a single ounce of regret, unlike Harley who sometimes feels guilt for her actions and draws moral lines. There is some small piece of who he once was deep down inside, but it's not going to surface. He will have no redemption arc. He will never be a good person. But there is, was, and always will be the potential for him to be a good partner. Whatever happens in Isola will remain a mystery until it happens, as sometimes plans go awry as muses run rampant, but I thank you for reading this to its conclusion, and for attempting to see the small flickers or goodness he shows toward Harley in rare and vulnerable moments. Because even though the Joker represents true evil and rampant chaos, even the darkest depths must have light somewhere nearby - otherwise how would you compare its darkness?

[livinginlandmarketing]

Once the sun dips behind the hills at Temecula’s Galway Downs equestrian facility, Temecula Terror begins. The independent haunt event is an outdoor experience about a creepy small town hosting its Halloween Harvest Carnival. Featuring three all-new mazes filled with scares, the event is open Thursdays-Sundays through Halloween night, Sunday, Oct. 31.

Here are the three mazes visitors will encounter: 301 Hyde Street, where town recluse Otis Hatcher lures trick-or-treaters deep into his house of horrors; The Crypt, where guests venture into some catacombs; and the Butterfield Asylum, which gives Temecula history a twist as producers imagine the dark side of the real-life Butterfield Stage Route in the mid-1800s.

Jeromy Ball, along with his brother Zach (not pictured) are the creators of Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

An actor waits to scare guests within the Hyde Street Massacre maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

“The masked woman on the porch” greets guests to the Hyde Street Massacre maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

A Witches Brew is one of the beverages available at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula as seen on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Kaleight Kailani, 26 from Glendale, reacts as she is frightened by an actor within the Hyde Street Massacre maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

An actor waits to scare guests within the Hyde Street Massacre maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

A grave yard sits outside the The Crypt maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Shelley Berru, from Los Angeles, serves up hot cider at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

A demented clown waits for guests in a tunnel at the entrance to Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

A demented clown waits for guests in a tunnel at the entrance to Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Kaleight Kailani, 26 from Glendale, reacts as she is frightened by an actor within the Hyde Street Massacre maze at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Oliver Lanning, 8 from Canyon Lake, draws a pumpkin at Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Guests enter Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

A demented clown waits for guests in a tunnel at the entrance to Temecula Terror at Galway Downs in Temecula on Thursday, Sept. 30, 2021. Temecula Terror includes three mazes, scare zones, games, a pumpkin patch, children’s craft activities and other surprises. The event opens Oct. 1 and runs Thursday-Sunday evenings through Oct. 31. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

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The experience was created by identical twins Zachary and Jeromy Ball, known professionally as The Bloodshed Brothers. The duo has been building scary attractions for years, starting in the front yard of their Temecula family home when they were 12.

It all began in the fourth grade when Jeromy got invited to a party on Halloween night. His dad helped him create a Jason Voorhees costume from “Friday the 13th.” Though Jeromy had never watched the movie, he liked the character. But when he arrived at the party, no one had dressed up in a scary costume but him.

“It was the most boring thing I could have gone to,” he said during a media preview of Temecula Terror on Thursday night as werewolf howled and frightened guests screamed in the background.

Zach was not invited to the Halloween shindig. Back then, Jeromy and Zach fought constantly, so they had separate groups of friends and were in different classrooms at their mother’s request.

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“They were inside making cookies, so I went outside and started scaring the trick-or-treaters,” Jeromy recalled of that evening. “I went home and I was like ‘Zach, some (stuff) went down tonight and it was so much fun!’ The rest of the night we were outside scaring people and the following year, fifth grade, we never trick-or-treated again and we built our first haunted house in the front yard.”

The passion for horror bonded the brothers, and they have not gotten into a fistfight since. Working together, they even won third place in a costume contest for dressing up like the Grady Twins from “The Shining.”

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“Haunted houses may have saved us, but also being twins we realized if we joined forces we could gang up on the parents instead of ganging up on each other,” he added.

Temecula Terror is a true family affair. The twins’ younger sister helps coordinate the actors, their mother does costumes and their father helps run security. They were all on-site, braving the heat over the last several weeks to build the various attractions.

The brothers, along with fellow event producer Alexandra Berru, chose this particular spot in Galway Downs because it was a blank canvas, surrounded by foliage and off the beaten path.

“It had this amazing vibe and we could really build a world within it,” Berru said. “It’s outside of Temecula proper, so you really do feel like you’ve entered some other sort of space, out in nowhere.”

The venue does have a creep factor. It’s off a dirt road and guests have to walk through some trees and a dirt path to reach a creepy, fog-filled tunnel to enter. The mazes are detailed and unnerving. The monsters are spread out and music and spooky sound effects build suspense in between jump scares.

301 Hyde Street is the evolution of every haunted house the brothers have ever built, Ball said. It encompasses the backstory of previous events and is filled with an impressive collection of vintage Halloween decor.

“It was inspired by us just loving Halloween, and our parents and grandparents loving it too and being super supportive of us,” he said. “A handful of the items inside there are actually family heirlooms. There’s a costume my grandmother owned, one of the witches and one ghost are from my mom, and there’s at least two things in there I bought with my own money at 13 years old when I started buying Halloween props for the very first time. There’s a hanging ghost in there, in the dining room, that used to hang from a tree at my parents’ house. They got it in 1989 and it still works.”

The Butterfield Asylum maze is loosely based on the history of the area and plays on tales of workers who went mad when the Stage Stops were being constructed.

“Sometimes they used prison labor to do it and some people would — what we would consider now just exhaustion, dehydration or exposure — they went crazy in the sunlight, so that’s the loose theme of the asylum,” he said.

The Crypt started as a simple blackout maze where patrons would have to feel their way through to get out. Ball said it was a simple and easy way to do an attraction, but it began to evolve. It’s now a creepy cemetery that leads into extremely detailed catacombs with lots of skeletons, spiders and other terrifying creatures lurking within.

Since Temecula Terror is a family affair, it was important to create a family-friendly element as well. The main event is recommended only for those ages 12 and older, but from 5-7 p.m. they’re offering $10 tickets to kids during Family Fright Hours. That timeframe includes a pumpkin patch, painting, carnival-style games and rides, shopping and treats and beverages for sale from local vendors.

“Temecula is such a family town, so we wanted to make sure our little monsters could still enjoy it,” Berru said. “We kept parents in mind, too. So when you buy a ticket to bring your kid to the Family Fright Hours, you will receive a wristband to come back on a different night, maybe when you have a sitter, to experience the whole thing.”

While those showing up later can enjoy all of those activities and treats as well, there are also two general admission bars and one VIP bar on-site for those 21-and-older to enjoy beer, wine and other cocktails. There’s even a hidden speakeasy inside the VIP bar with special cocktails crafted with alcohol from Galway Spirits Distillery. Some of the $12 concoctions include the Witches Brew (blood orange vodka, Cointreau, red wine, apple, strawberries, lemon, lime, clove and cinnamon) and the Corpse Reviver (gin, Lillet Blanc, elderflower, lemon and mulled blackberries) and both are served with dry ice for a fun, smoking and bubbling effect.

Temecula Terror

When: 7-11 p.m. Thursdays-Sundays; 5-11 p.m. Fridays-Saturdays through Sunday, Oct. 31

Where: Galway Downs, 38801 Los Corralitos Road, Temecula

Tickets: $20-$25 adult general admission; $30-$35 adult VIP admission; $10 child (11 and younger) general admission; $5-$10 parking. All ticket types are available at temeculaterror.com.

-on October 04, 2021 at 01:35AM by Kelli Skye Fadroski

[curious-minx]

On Bob’s Burger’s Gene learns to be a sweeter Mama’s Boy; The Simpsons rediscovers its heart by showing empathy to a struggling teacher.

Mama’s Boy is possibly one of my favorite Ramones song, at least the one I’m most obsessed with.  A track written sporting writing credits for all three Ramones. This fact really answers the age old riddle fo how many  Ramones  it takesto change a light bulb. There’s no question about it if the Ramones were still alive and kicking they probably would be cameoing in all sorts of animated shows and would be a Wonder Wharf regular. Episode 9, “Mama’ Boy” not only focuses on Gene’s wholesome adoration of his Mama,  but also makes a clear point of demonstrating how the Belcher’s challenge conventional gender norms. If I grew up with a dad like Bob Belcher, a man who is more than willing to get into a tub with me for a spa day I’d probably be a more productive citizen. The episode strongly packs in three whole subplots with Gene and Linda’s weekly “Spa Day” ritual being interrupted by Linda joining a Women’s Business Owner Group, Bob trying to be a substitute for Gene, and then Louise and Tina getting transfixed by a clever Rocky rip-off, Ham & Egger. The boys want a seaweed eucalyptus infused face mask and the girls want to brawl, a sweet and subtle commentary that is done with that effortless Bob’s Burgers charm. 

The main conflict between Gene and Linda is fraught with family psychology. Linda emboldening her only son’s clinginess with her gentle form of favoritism that threatens to mutate’s Gene’s cute Mama Boy into an emotional manipulative, controlling and abusive Mama’s Boy. This is one of the rare instances where Gene is essentially the antagonistic force of the episode, a role often bestowed upon every other Belcher but rarely reliable supporting player Gene. Gene’s antics are more than just his usual little stinker business and at moments threatens to veer off into Norman Bates territory when he fears that he’s losing his mom to the Business World. Thankfully, Gene is a thoughtful and lovable boy that experiences flashes of introspection, experiences self-realization and catches himself from going off the deep-end. The episode ends with Gene and Linda still enjoying a slightly inappropriate, but ultimately sweet relationship where boundaries are starting to further establish themselves, but I do worry for whomever ends up with Gene as a partner later in life. 

Ah! My favorite high school based musical, Sunday School Musical

The episode’s subplot with Louise and Tina is a great writing lesson, a clean how-to on writing a quality parody. The whole subplot is basically mapping elements of Rocky and making them slightly cheaper and sillier Ham & Egger versions. The subplot touches upon a very specific experience of childhood when you stumble upon a lesser, knock-off movie on cable before seeing the original version, therefore making the cheaper version the definitive version in your naive mind. The subplot also serves as a fun contrast/reversal with Gene’s arc, two daughters being more interested in rough housing and watching junky TV, whereas the son is clinging onto a more traditionally feminine activity. The show hasn’t been this progressive since its explorations with Tina and her explorations of a healthy sense of sexuality. The reason why these issues work so well on Bob’s Burgers is because the writer’s never draw attention to them or try to pat themselves on the back like other lesser sitcoms tend to do, and because after 11 seasons audiences have been given a lot of opportunities to bond and appreciate each and every Belcher. Every single Belcher is capable of delivering a solid episode and whenever I pick up on whether or not an episode is going to focus on a specific character or character relationship on Bob’s Burgers I am more or less satisfied with the direction the writers and actors make with this beloved TV family. 

4.5 Spools of Yarn as thick punchable yarn out of 5 thick and punchable slabs of meat. 

/////

News update in the Bob’s Burgers world: The Belcher family is officially losing its Fox TV status and gaining FX personhood. This ultimately changes both a little and a lot, the biggest impact of the change is that Bob’s Burgers will be removed from adult swim syndication. Bob’s Burgers is ultimately in the clear for however much longer the series wishes to stay on air. This change in syndication is mainly worrisome for the state of adult swim, which will at this point go completely under due to financial straits or assimilate itself into the HBO Max roster. The adult swim brand is still fairly strong one and as long as they have Rick and Morty to cling onto they will still have a cash cow to sustain them. If adult swim collapses we will be losing one of the last bastions for weird and creative TV programming and will be left with nothing but a sea of Disney detritus. 

/////

 Search result for a stock image of a “Sad Teacher” 

Speaking of Disney Detritus, it’s time for another peek back into the Simpsons brood with its 9th episode, “Sorry Not Sorry.” The episode for the most part is the most conventional episode of an exhaustingly highly conceptual season. The quality of the episode is probably due to the fact that the episode isn’t written by another one of the safe old white Harvard guys the series is doomed to forever employ, but instead, this above average episode is written by an  Ivy League woman and  1996 Subrina the Teenage Witch creator Nell Scovell. Go figure, the Simpsons enormously benefits from diverting from the usual white male voice that dominates the massive bulk of Simpsons screenwriting credits. The main reason I got back into watching the Simpsons in the first place was when I saw that slightly problematic Twitter rising start Megan Amram had written a couple of episodes for its 30th season. For me, this indicated the exact type of tone shifting the Simpsons needed to course correct itself from its perennial slump. Both of Amram’s episodes are fantastic, especially “Bart versus Itchy and Scratchy.”

The typical writer for the Simpsons 

This gender disparity in the Simpsons verse led my curiosity over to the Simpsons writer’s wikipedia page. Wikipedia lists 133 writers in total, I was able to tally up 18 different women who have at least one written episode credit to their name. Out of those thirteen women one of them is Conan O’Brien’s sister and Bart Simpson herself Nancy Cartwright. The numbers probably become even more grotesque when looking at anything else that diverts from the White Ivy League Educated paradigm that the Simpsons has firmly established in its endless run. So whenever a show as creaky and conservative, at least in terms of writing room staff, diverts from the white male paradigm I find that the typical Simpsons episode has a noticeable more pep in its step, the show for a brief moment feels more vital, and for me the reason is because of a wider perspective a woman writer can offer in a male dominated workplace. This episode’s title alone is a piece of modern mainstream feminism sloganeering that Lisa explicitly touches upon in the episode, and unlike Bob’s Burgers the Simpsons is the sort of show where it makes more sense for a character to explicitly call out problematic world views. This type of empathy and inner growth only tends to happen in the show whenever Lisa takes over the focus of an episode and it’s that quality of heart that is missing from the large swathe of modern Simpsons where forcing jokes for the sakes of jokes always takes precedent over having any heart or reflection. 

“The Simpsons, a feminist masterpiece” - Matt Groening’s accountant 

Ms. Hoover has always been one of my favorite characters, she’s got a great sense of style and her nihilistic world view and bottomless loathing of her job is especially relatable. Looking at Ms. Hoover’s Simpsons’ fandom Wiki I found disappointing tidbits such as she’s one of the only two characters in 2007 Simpsons Game besides Lunch Lady Doris given zero lines of dialogue. The series writers’ also thought it would be funny in season 25 to have Bart hook up with her in episodes set in the future. In the show’s 32 seasons very little time and space has been dedicated to Ms. Hoover so it was satisfying to get a substantial glimpse into this teacher’s life especially since she’s the only original teacher left filling in the void left by the late great Ms. Crabapple. Hard to imagine anyone having a more hellish year in Covid times than the Ms. Hoovers of the world the women relegated to teaching jobs, because society for too long has deemed a woman’s place is not in a major network animated sitcom writer’s room but silently suffering in the classroom with the rest of America’s ungrateful brats. All of our essential workers should be delivered a deluxe orthopedic vibrating chair from a pawn shop and I won’t accept anything less! 

In order to properly review this episodes I try my best to watch through them at least twice and I found that this episode in particular really holds up on a second viewing not only because its central plot is solid but also because the episode is full of little silent visual gags that make the show feel like a labor of love rather than another episode off of the factory line. 

A real solid PASSING GRADE episode! 

[jillmckenzie1]

Tempest in a Teapot

Cuties is streaming on Netflix

 Take a seat. Better yet, make a nice, hot cup of tea, pull up your nearest fainting couch, and get ready for some information that is sure to blow your mind. Ready?

You sure?

Okay…here goes. *takes a deep breath*

Americans are really, really stupid when it comes to both art and nuance. An example is the kerfuffle that sprang up regarding The Last Temptation of Christ. It all began with the 1955 novel written by Nikos Kazantzakis that examined the life of Jesus. Specifically, it posited the concept of Jesus briefly succumbing to temptation while on the cross and imagining a normal life. One that involved sex, love, and a family.

As you might imagine, a certain stripe of Christian was very angry with the book. This anger turned to incandescent rage in 1988, when Martin Scorsese adapted the novel into an excellent film. Now, you would think people who were taught the Gospels, to live with a love for others, to turn the other cheek, you would think those folks would either try to see the spiritual message inherent in Last Temptation* or love the people they disagreed with in brotherhood.

Nope! Thousands of people called for the film to be banned. Television evangelists denounced Scorsese. In fact, Scorsese received numerous death threats which, unless I missed big chunks of the Bible, is antithetical to the message of Christianity. There was even an attempted terrorist attack on a theater in Paris. A group of radical Catholics (Yes, seriously) set off an incendiary device that wounded thirteen people.

So based on the preceding paragraphs, I must think that conservative Christians are a bunch of gullible nitwits, right? Well…no. As much as I’d like to take a moment to clown on the right-wing outrage machine, the fact remains that both liberals and conservatives tend to live in a black and white space when it comes to artistic expression, and that space is not where nuance lives. Don’t believe me? Let’s talk about the new film Cuties, and why the controversy around it is mostly nonsense.

Amy (Fathia Youssouf) is eleven, and she has just moved from Senegal to a neighborhood in Paris. Things are very different for her. She’s in a new place with new customs and new faces, and she’s expected to help care for her two younger brothers. What about her parents, you might ask? That’s where things start to become complicated. Her mother Mariam (Maimouna Gueye) is already struggling to keep the children stable in their new home. Mariam tries to live as a righteous Muslim woman and feels pressure from her Aunt (Mbissine Therese Diop) to do better. The pressure gets worse when she receives a phone call from Senegal and the news that her husband has taken a second wife.

This is all an enormous amount for Amy to process. She needs support, and unfortunately, Mariam doesn’t have the bandwidth to provide it. So, she seeks out a support system elsewhere, and boy howdy, does she find it. A pilfered smartphone introduces her to social media and the endorphin rush that comes from likes and comments.

A chance encounter at school pinballs Amy’s life in a radically new direction. She meets the Cuties, a group of girls in her grade. They are her neighbor Angelica (Medina El Aidi), the snarky Coumba (Esther Gohourou), and the combative Jess (Ilanah Cami-Goursolas). The Cuties move through the world with the kind of bulletproof self-confidence that only exists within tweens and rich, white men. Their goal is to enter and win a dance competition, one that emphasizes barely-there costumes and dance moves that are…well, let’s go with “suggestive.”

The realization hits Amy like a thunderbolt. The Cuties are everything she isn’t and like nothing she’s ever seen before. At least, that’s what she thinks. How to get in with the cool girls? Proving yet again that the internet was a mistake, Amy dives online and immerses herself in videos. Her plan is to imitate the moves of dancers much older and copy their routines, routines that are wildly age-inappropriate. They don’t just push the envelope, they rip through the damn thing. It’s all in service of social medial likes, realizing a vague dream, and learning that actions have consequences.

A number of prominent individuals have accused Cuties of either being child pornography or sexually exploitative. Senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley railed against the film. An op-ed in the conservative website The National Review wrote, “Thus, whatever their artistic intentions, in making a social commentary about the sexualization of children, the filmmakers undeniably sexualized children.” Christine Pelosi, daughter of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, tweeted, “Cuties hypersexualizes girls my daughter’s age, no doubt to the delight of pedophiles like the ones I prosecuted. Cancel this, apologize, work with experts to heal your harm.” It was all outrage, but it never came from a place rooted in liberal or conservative ideology. It was only reactionary.

By now, I imagine you’re probably thinking, “Don’t keep us in suspense, is Cuties offensive trash that comes straight from the Second Circle of Hell?” No, but it is designed to make viewers feel uneasy.

Director Maimouna Doucoure has made a clear-eyed and nuanced film about the raging desire of a child to fit in, and the poor decisions they can make that blow up in their faces. She knows exactly what kind of film she’s making; one about perspectives. When the girls practice their routines, we hear pulsing pop music as they emulate what they have seen elsewhere. I’m not sure they’re fully aware of the meaning of these suggestive dance moves, but they know on a subconscious level that they have raw power. However, watch the same routine later when adults observe. You’ll see some skeezy guys who are into it, but far more adults who are repelled and appalled. In the end, the gaze of the camera is entirely dependent upon context. There are also tiny moments of surrealism that pop in and out, such as a dress that Amy is given to wear at her father’s wedding. Watch how the shape and color of the dress slightly changes depending on Amy’s mood. It’s filmmaking that’s smart and subtle.

Doucoure based her screenplay on her own experiences as a refugee, as well as eighteen months of research regarding how social media influences the behavior of children and young teens. More relevant is her prior experience as a girl. The script is a coming of age tale in which Amy bounces between the expectations of her culture and religion to be a submissive wife, an onslaught of online images lacking in context, and the age-old growing pains we all go through. She ultimately wants to find her people and her place in the world while simultaneously wanting to rebel against the world she’s growing up in. The tragedy is that she makes decisions from the perspective of a child and is judged as an adult.

I think I was most impressed by the natural and honest performances that Doucoure was able to draw out of her cast.*** The younger actors do solid work, and I was particularly impressed with Fathia Youssouf as Amy. She’s asked to do some extremely heavy lifting from an emotional standpoint, and whether she’s about to break from pressure or giggling as she crams gummy worms into her mouth, she always feels believable. The stealth MVP of the cast is Maimouna Gueye as her mother Miriam. She has an astounding scene where she takes a phone call and learns of her husband’s decision to take another wife. Gueye’s tone of voice is all business on the phone. We can only see her feet as she hangs up the phone. For a moment there’s only silence, then we see her feet shaking as she sobs.

You’ve probably heard a variation of the old saying that depiction doesn’t equal endorsement. Odds are that the vast majority of people hysterically shrieking over Cuties either haven’t seen the film or are reading it in the most shallow manner possible. Cuties made me extremely uncomfortable. Since it’s a critique of society’s rampant sexualization of children, it’s supposed to.**** Maimouna Doucore’s film is intelligent and nuanced, and I fervently hope that her next project is viewed with more open-mindedness. Odds are, it won’t be.

  *Whether you agree with the central message of the film or not, consider that the central message is that initially Jesus profoundly does not want to take the suffering of the world entirely within himself. He wants what everyone else wants, but decides to sacrifice himself anyway. That’s far more inspirational and relatable than a savior entirely free of doubt.

**While the film isn’t exploitative, holy hell is the advertising! Someone in Netflix’s marketing department made a series of Very Bad Decisions. You can read more here.

***It bears mentioning that there was a child psychologist on-set during the shooting, as well as officials from France’s child protective services.

***In fact, I think Cuties is far less offensive than some of the odious reality TV programs like Toddlers and Tiaras.

The post Tempest in a Teapot first appeared on The Denver Guide.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/tempest-in-a-teapot/

[photomattjames]

<p><h2><strong><font color="#f79646">Famous Photographs That Inspired Film.</font></strong></h2></p>

There has always been a sibling-like relationship between film and photography. “The Horse in Motion” (1878) was a famous photographic series using an early movie projector called the zoopraxiscope invented by Eadweard Muybridge, a 19th-century photographer who understood the phenomena better than any of his contemporaries. Attempting to capture every muscle movement the horse made Muybridge fired his shutter in quick succession to discern whether horses always keep one hoof on the ground when galloping. He effectively created a very short film by using the zoopraxiscope to project the images in rapid succession.

As they conceive the look and feel of their work directors frequently look to still images and since the time of Muybridge the influence of photography on film has been undeniable. Taking photographs that owed an aesthetic debt to the famous crime photographer Weegee, director Stanley Kubrick actually got his start as a teenage press photographer. When filming the crimes scenes of the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)Kubrick hired Weegee to take still photographs on the set since he was so captivated by Weegee’s gritty, and lurid style.

In the Library of Congress director Wes Anderson stumbled upon a series of hand-tinted travel postcards, a specific set of photographs that inspired the look of the titular hotel in The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014). Drawing inspiration from the person behind the lens, other directors have taken visual cues from a single image.

Below are 6 famous photographs that have gone on to inspire film …

Her (2013), directed by Spike Jonze.

Plotted as a love story with only one truly sentient lover and a futuristic cautionary tale doused generously with nostalgia, Her was a paradox of a film. When conceiving of his 2013 Academy Award-winning masterpiece it is no wonder that director Spike Jonze drew from photographer Todd Hido’s intriguing, enigmatic image “Untitled #2653” (2000). In the film, Scarlett Johansson voices Samantha, a scary-smart virtual assistant who Joaquin Phoenix, playing disillusioned writer Theodore Twombly, who spends his days composing intimate letters for other people, becomes infatuated with. “It feels like a memory. The mood of a day without the specifics. A memory of this girl,in this beautiful, funny forest,” was how director Jonze described the photo that inspired hi, in an interview with New York Magazine. The subdued colour scheme of Jonze’s film is a reflection of the image’s muted palette.

Theodore’s love for Samantha is implicit in the contradictions captured on a deeper level in Hido’s photograph. With her face being explicitly unavailable to us the image depicts a literal blank slate of a woman. Because of that, and just as Theodore romanticises Samantha into his lover, the viewer can project whatever they want onto her.

The Virgin Suicides (1999), directed by Sofia Coppola.

Through the eyes of young, adoring neighbours the tragic lives and deaths of five adolescent Lisbon daughters are chronicled in The Virgin Suicides, which is screenwriter and director Sofia Coppola’s beloved film, in which an intoxicating, dreamy gloom fills every frame. Aided by the ethereal look of cinematographer Ed Lachman’s work, the film has a distinctly feminine melancholia. Coppola drew inspiration from photographer Bill Owens, and she has pointed to one photograph in particular, “Our eighth-grade graduation dance was really far out” (1973), saying it was “definitely in my mind when I worked on the film.”

Right down to the twinkling cut-out stars dangling from the ceiling in the film’s homecoming dance scene the photograph shares very literal similarities to The Virgin Suicides. With her conservative white prairie dress and blonde curls the girl in the centre of the frame could easily be a Lisbon daughter. Similarly permeating the film is the awkward tenderness to the still image which emphasizes the connection between the two more so. Cinematographer Lachman said: “We wanted to really create the world of adolescence.” The girls’ fervent desire to escape their claustrophobic family life to experience something more as well as the narrators’ youthful desire to know and save the sisters evokes a feeling of wistful teenage longing in the film.

Moonlight (2016), directed by Barry Jenkins.

The life of a black queer person called Chiron coming of age in Miami is captured in Moonlight which won the Academy Aware for Best Picture in 2016. The viewer is immersed in a lush, dreamlike world in this intoxicating film in which three different actors portray the character of Chiron through three extended vignettes. Relying heavily on photographs for inspiration was how the film’s director Barry Jenkins and cinematographer James Laxton achieved this.

The work of Dutch photographer Viviane Sassen and the work of American photographer Earlie Hudnall Jr. was what the pair of film makers looked at specifically for inspiration. With images showing close moments among families, friends and neighbours, they were captivated by Hudnall’s loving, realistic depictions in these themes from within African-American communities in the 1970s south. With a remarkable sense of intimacy and empathy Moonlight tells Chiron’s story. An abstract appreciation for the human form and a deeply decadent saturated colour palette was what Jenkins and Laxton were able to draw from Sassen’s images.

“When I look at still images, my brain becomes actively engaged and I am able to picture a whole experience, a different world … photography enhances my sense of what happened just before or after the frame was captured,” sad Laxton in 2016 when explaining his fascination with photography. A scene in which the camera cuts suddenly to a close-up of Chiron’s hand digging into the sand in moments like the beach kissing scene is evidence of Laxton’s photographic approach. It’s a film brimming with honest and subjective moments such as these.

Carol (2015), directed by Todd Haynes.

For the way he simultaneously captured the grit and beauty of 1950s New York City, photographer Saul Leiter is beloved in his own right. The 2015 film Carol, which took place in Manhattan during that decade, was a work conceived by Todd Haynes conceived from the inspiration drawn from Leiter. In a society hardset against their love a young female shop-clerk and a jaded housewife start a romance. Cinematographer Ed Lachman chose to the film on 16mm film giving it the grainy, electric feel of an old-school photograph, in order to evoke the look of 1950s street photography.

While accurately portraying the chaotic forces of city life, director Haynes praised photographer Leiter’s ability to merge both street photography and abstract art. “While at times you think you're looking at an abstract painting,” he said, “it actually gives such a specific sense of time and place because of the kind of light and how it plays on glass and how it interferes with dust and dirt and grime.” By distancing the viewer from the scene, Leiter was able to obscure the object of his gaze by framing his images through plexiglass or windows, a technique that informed the directorial choice of Haynes’ film.

Nightcrawler (2014), directed by Dan Gilroy.

The photographer known as Weegee (a pseudonym for artist Arthur Fellig), became known in the 1930s as the master photographer of brutal crime scenes on the dirty, dark streets of New York. His life sounds pretty cinematic to begin with, he reportedly slept clothed next to a police radar waiting to wake up and bolt to the latest crime scene, but it was reimagined in Dan Gilroy’s debut film, Nightcrawler, about a similarly determined cameraman, Lou Boom. Played by Jake Gyllenhaal, Lou prowled the streets of Los Angeles, on the hunt for photogenic bloodshed.

Gilroy was first inspired by Weegee when he stumbled upon his book “Naked City” in 1988. The director said he “wanted to tell that story but make it contemporary.” Gilroy maintained the gritty desperation that Weegee so captivating despite using the opportunity with Nightcrawler to update Weegee’s life and his film equipment, giving Lou a digital camcorder rather than a 4 x 5 camera. The film captures the immediacy and luridness of Weegee’s work as much of the film is conveyed through Lou’s viewfinder.

Saving Private Ryan (1998), directed by Steven Spielberg.

Director Steven Spielberg sought to realistically capture the events of World War II’s D-Day through the eyes of a soldier for his wartime epic Saving Private Ryan. Spielberg consulted the photographs captured by the famous Life magazine photojournalist Robert Capa during the D-Day attacks in 1944 in building fidelity to this moment in history. While embedded with Allied soldiers during the landing in Normandy, Capa was a master war journalist, capturing images up-close and with unflinching realism. While discussing Capa as a reference for the film, cinematographer Janusz Kamiński said: “In Saving Private Ryan, I wanted to take a major Hollywood production and make it look like it was shot on 16mm by a bunch of combat cameramen.”

Importantly, Capa followed the maxim that, “If your photographs aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.” Similarly, Spielberg did everything he could to bring the violence and paralyzing fear of war straight to the viewer, even insisting that the camera shake as a bomb went off, as if the camera itself is also experiencing the impact of the explosions.

Words by Elijah (Content Marketer) via Artsy.

[purpleparrot]

ok i’m gonna do a post on the bachelorette bios under a read more bc its long as h*ck

Adam, 27, real estate agent. Gains points for listing his most embarrassing moment as telling his mom he was going on the bachelorette (submit an application for any reality show and you have answer to that question for the rest of you life) and immediately loses them for saying his favorite actor is “jennifer lawrence because she’s every girl’s goal” (three years ago this would have been true but not now my guy) and saying a threesome is the most romantic gift he’s ever received.

Alex, 28, information systems supervisor. Says the most outrageous thing he’s ever done is eat a live salamander (um?) and lists the rock as his favorite artist (um????). Also says the most romantic present he’s ever given is a car which was probably very awkward when the relationship ended.

Anthony, 26, education software manager. Describes emotional intelligence as one of his best attributes so if things don’t work out with Rachel he’d be a great match for Taylor from Nick’s season. Also says that he has “virtually no limits in the bedroom once the connection is there” and honestly its just weird that they asked some of them that question (like I’d answer that question for the entire internet to read)

Blake E., 31, “Aspiring Drummer” says that the most outrageous thing hes ever done is get engaged to a “crazy girl” then calls himself a “classic gentleman” two questions later. Also wants to watch the new 50 Shades movie because he loves “taboo sexy stuff”. Was engaged for 48 hours which is probably about 24 hours more than he’ll last on the bachelorette. Hates when his date talks about her cats, so Taylor Swift is basically his worst nightmare. Also doesn’t think parking ticket people have souls, which is honestly the most redeeming answer of the bunch.

Blake K, 29, U.S, Marine Veteran. Would want to be the Rock for a day because “he’s the only person who could look cool wearing a fanny pack”. Says that roses are his favorite flower, which I’m 99% sure is a prerequisite to getting on the show. Says he won’t wrestle a crocodile or eat monkey brains for love, and mostly seems too normal for this show.

Brady, 29, Male Model. Says that tackling snowmen is something he does for fun in his hometown (um? fingers crossed he makes it to hometowns so we can see how exactly that works) and says Lululemon sweatpants are the most romantic gifts he’s ever received, which is slightly (okay a lot) more normal than threesome. Says the the Situation from Jersey Shore is the person he dislikes the most in the world, making me think about that show for the first time in at least three years. (Also, does he remined me a little bit of Robby from Jojo’s season appearance-wise?)

Bryce, 37, Chiropractor. Kind of looks like Chase from Jojo’s season (to me at least). Lists like seven things when asked for his three best attributes, so apparently has some trouble with numbers. Also says the Bachelor/Bachelorette is one of his favorite TV shows because he’s “fascinated by the interaction socially between a man and a woman” (please no one watches this show for the love story, you watch for the drama and you know it) has also had balcony sex? (idk what to do with that information)

Bryce, 30, firefighter. All of his answers are oddly poetic? Describes himself as a “laid back shot of gasoline when the fire starts to die”. Looking for someone with “eyes you could drown in and a smile that insults the sun”. Says he’s “a fresh drink of water with a jolt of lightning”. I’d put money on him reading Rachel some 9th grade English poem the first night. Describes his dream job as a professional Instagrammer which he’s definitely in the right place for with all the Fittea and teeth whitening stuff everyone who goes on this show seems to sell.

Dean, 26, startup recruiter. Has a lip tattoo? (It says righteous, I know you were dying to know. Thinks marriage is an “institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs” so he’ll fit in perfectly on a show where the end goal is getting engaged!

DeMario, 30, executive recruiter. Scores points for referencing Britney Spears not once but twice, saying he loves attention but not like 2007 Britney, like when she and Justin Timberlake wore those denim outfits. Wants to have a pet lion and name it “Denzel the lion”, Doesn’t have any phobias, which I’m sure made the produces frown and cross his name off potential candidates for those dates they always have where they skydive or something and they’re both really freaked out and have to comfort each other. Earns more points by saying that the most romantic gift he’s ever given is tickets to a Beyonce and Jay-Z concert.

Diggy, 31, senior inventory analyst. Spends Saturday nights trying to recover from day drinking (he and Corinne would get along great if Rachel doesn’t pick him!) Once pretended to be asleep so he didn’t have to help a girl find her brother after a one night stand.

Eric, 29, personal trainer. Rachel seems like she was digging him on the ATFR when she men some of her guys. If he could be anyone for a day, he’d be Tony Robbins, which is a name I had to Google and according to Wikipedia he is a    “MLM advocate, businessman, and author”. Says green juice is his favorite drink, so I’m sure he’ll be fine in the bachelor house where it seems like all they have to drink is champagne. Not to go all avril-lavigne-is-dead-and-was-replaced-by-a-clone conspiracy theorist but if he could go anywhere in the U.S. it would be New Orleans, which is where Rachel had her one-on-one with Nick.

Fred, 27, Executive Assistant. Admits to the entire Internet that he sometimes gets aroused at work. This isn’t in his bio but in the preview for the season it says that he and Rachel went to elementary school together and he has apparently had a “lifelong fascination” with her ever since which is a lil weird to me. Like I doubt I could pick someone I went to elementary school with out of a lineup much less recognize them on TV nearly 20 years later.

Grant, 29, emergency medicine physician (!). Would like to be President of the United States for a day, which would honestly probably be better than Donald Trump (I mean, they have about the same amount of experience). Lists Playboy as his favorite magazine with a ;) face. Makes a lame “A see food diet. I see food I eat it” when asked about eating habits, so I’m expecting him to open with an equally lame joke when he meets Rachel.

Iggy, 30, Consulting Firm CEO. Idk if ABC made a typo or what, but if not he lists his best and worst attributes as the same traits (Truly a double edged sword). If stranded on a dessert island he would want it to be a banana float (haha) (Also thats a really stupid question anyway-ABC if you need someone else to write these I’m available)

Jack Stone, 32, Attorney (!). First, why is his whole name on the website? Usually its just their last initial, and that’s only if there’s two people with the same name. Which isn’t the case here so @ ABC wyd. Is an attorney like Rachel, and has been the only one so far smart enough to plead the fifth on the bedroom question. Two of his worst attributes are “hard on myself, anxious” which is very #relatable. Says tulips are his favorite flower because they’re like roses without thorns.

Jamey, 32, Sales Account Executive. Answers the question “where do you see yourself in five years” with “I am trying not to make plans right now” which is also very #relatable. I should bust that one out at my next job interview. Says his ideal mate looks like a model (we all wish) and responds “I do not have any female friends” to “describe your best friend of the opposite sex and why she/she deserves that title”.

Jedidiah, 35, ER Physician (!). Previously owned dogs that were over 1/2 wolf, which is slightly terrifying. Likes wild flowers that grow above high altitudes. Has had sex on a glacier which just sounds like a bad idea, frostbite and all that. Likes nice pens (don’t we all), clashing slightly with his outdoorsy image.

Jonathan, 31, “Tickle Monster”. Anyone identifying themselves as a tickle monster would be cut immediately if I were Rachel. They wouldn’t even make it inside the mansion. I hate being tickled. Formerly sported a mullet. Says his favorite flower right now is a red rose (*rolls eyes*). Previously married, which the producers are probably going to bring up at every given opportunity. Lists Britney Spears as one of his favorite music artists, which still doesn’t even begin to make up for the tickling thing.

Josiah, 28, Prosecuting Attorney (!). Has had sex in his office, so hopefully he didn’t tell his employer he was going on the show, and if he did, hopefully they don’t find this. Was once catfished, so perhaps he’s on the wrong show anyway. Perhaps Nev and Max can participate in a group date giving tips on how not to get catfished.

Kenny, 35, professional wrestler. Spends his Saturday nights either “wrestling in his underwear in front of thousands of people or with his daughter”. Has a daughter, which the producers will also probably bring up at every given opportunity because exploiting children is always fun! Says he was “quick draw Mcgraw” when he first started dating his ex. Has had sex with a wife while her husband watched, which sounds like more Unreal than Bachelorette territory tbh.

Kyle, 26, marketing consultant. Generally doesn’t trust people and dislikes corrupt authority, and respects Ed Snowden. Probably has a Bernie 2016 sticker on his car. doesn’t know what gluten is but eats gluten free when he can. Describes his ideal mate as 7+ and says BDSM was weird because he doesn’t like hurting people.

Lee, 30, Singer/Songwriter. Would want to learn to make booze if stranded on a deserted island.  Considers himself a romantic. Also seems too normal for this show (aside from the career) and will probably be gone the first night.

Lucas, 30, “Whaboom” I googled it and couldn’t find an answer as to what “Whaboom” even means so we’re off to a great start. When asked who he would have lunch with out of everyone in the world, replies “ Dead: Bruce Jenner, Alive: Caitlyn Jenner” *cringes* would want the cast of the View with him on a deserted island which is pretty smart actually because they’d probably wind up killing each other and he could establish himself as the apex predator. Enjoys a “good old bump and grind” when it comes to dancing. Lists going to funeral as one of his least favorite date activities, which makes me question his dating history history. I feel like he’ll be the villain.

Matt, 32, Construction Sales Rep. Describes lingerie as the most romantic gift he’s ever given saying  “I knew I was in love once I found myself shopping at Victoria Secret” #justlikethenotebook. Describes a tinder date as his worst dating memory. Has had sex on a cruise ship balcony. Despite that is probably still too normal for the show and will probably be eliminated quickly.

Michael, 26, Former professional basketball player, which is less impressive when you keep reading and find out it was in Bulgaria. Would want to have lunch with Obama. One of his worst date fears is one of his friends hooking up with his date in the past which should make fantasy suites fun should he make it that far. Also like the fifth guy to name Denzel Washington as his favorite actor.

Milton, 31, Hotel recreation supervisor. Has a lip tattoo. Is oddly upfront about not being on the show for the “right reasons”. He says he wants to be discovered and break into acting or writing.  (At least try to lie and say you’re here for love my guy). Describes himself as only “kinda” romantic because he thinks it can show you’re weak.

Mohit, 26, Product manager. Says he is going to dress up as gluten for Halloween. Good luck with that. Likes country music. Has used Tabasco sauce in the bedroom which just sounds like a bad idea (honestly what do yall get up to where you need condiments). Is like the third person to say he admires Elon Musk.

Peter, 31, business owner. Once thought he got abducted after a one night stand. Likes modern family. Seems normal. Also cute. I’ve been trying to dodge spoilers but a few have slipped through the cracks and I must say...

Rob, 30, law student. Would want to have lunch with Buddha. Would want to be able to control time. Also seems normal. Will probably be eliminated quickly.

Will, 28, Sales Manager. Considers himself a romantic. Describes every tinder date he’s ever been on as his worst dating experience. Hates being a second choice, so hopefully he doesn’t wind up like Nick as runner up twice.

So overall it seems like there’s a lot more diversity this season, which is great to see! its also cool that that most of the men are closer to Rachel’s age compared to last season when some of the girls were literally 10 years younger than nick. And since i haven’t read spoilers, i guess i’ll pick a few faves based on bios alone: Peter, Eric, DeMario, Jack stone thats probably way off im bad at stuff like that

See yall the 22nd!

[bountyofbeads]

‘Poor, smart and desperate to be rich’: How Epstein went from teaching to Wall Street

BY LINDA ROBERTSON AND AARON BREZEL | Published JULY 16, 2019 06:28 PM | Miami Herald | Posted July 17, 2019 |

Before Jeffrey Epstein managed money for the world’s rich and powerful, he was educating their teenage children.

Epstein, the accused sex trafficker awaiting a bail ruling in a Manhattan jail, taught math and physics at the Dalton School, a private K-12 institution whose students are the sons and daughters of New York City’s elite. It was there on the aristocratic Upper East Side in the mid-1970s that a charming, bright young man with a head for numbers catapulted from his Coney Island roots to a double life of astounding wealth and disturbing depravity.

By the time he was 45, Epstein was living 18 blocks from Dalton in a nine-story mansion now worth $77 million, one of several posh homes where investigators say he molested dozens upon dozens of young girls, who were recruited to give him massages and coerced into sex acts. He followed a similar pattern at his waterfront estate in Palm Beach, where he pleaded guilty in 2008 to soliciting prostitution — despite being charged with far more serious crimes against underage girls — and received a remarkably lenient sentence, courtesy of a U.S. attorney who would later become President Donald Trump’s labor secretary.

Epstein launched his financier career during a parent-teacher conference at Dalton in 1976 when he dazzled a student’s father with his intelligence. Epstein confided that he wasn’t cut out to be a teacher. He envisioned himself on Wall Street.

“This parent was so wowed by the conversation he told my father, ‘You’ve got to hire this guy,’ ” recalled Lynne Koeppel, daughter of the late Alan “Ace” Greenberg, an executive at Bear Stearns investment bank. “Give Jeff credit. He was brilliant.”

Greenberg was also impressed by Epstein, then 23, a two-time college dropout and son of a parks department employee. Greenberg, son of an Oklahoma City women’s clothing store owner, rose from Bear Stearns clerk to CEO and had an affinity for employees he called “PSDs” — poor, smart and desperate to be rich.

“That was Jeff,” Koeppel said. “He was very smart and he knew how to woo people, how to schmooze. He’s personable and makes good company.”

Did Epstein purposely position himself at Dalton to get a foot on the ladder to jet-setting, celebrity-mingling, power-brokering high society?

“If that was his plan, it worked,” she said.

Epstein, now 66, started his job at the Dalton School at age 21 without a college degree and taught high school students only a few years younger than he was.

He was informal, friendly and liked to joke around, former students said. He was popular with female pupils, despite his puzzling personality.

“Epstein was considered a little creepy by the girls,” alumna Karin Williams said. “I won’t say that the girls didn’t like him. But they thought he was odd.”

Despite his short stint, Epstein left an impression.

“He’s the only man who I’ve ever met who had a full-length fur coat,” said Williams, who remembered the coat as Epstein’s flamboyant 1970s fashion statement at a school with a conservative dress code.

Student-teacher relationships were not unheard of at Dalton, former students said. It was a permissive time in the United States, and 40 years before #MeToo. However, no one who spoke to the Herald recalled Epstein engaging in a relationship or initiating unwanted physical contact with them.

“In retrospect, you could see how maybe he was looking for young nymphs,” said alumna Heidi Knecht-Seegers. “But I didn’t have a class with him and I was one of the few who didn’t drink or smoke or go to parties.”

Epstein — a math whiz as a kid — rose quickly at Bear Stearns, making partner by 1980 as reported in a 2002 New York Magazine profile. But while Epstein impressed traders and hedge fund managers, many of his students were less taken.

“To me he didn’t belong there,” said Maya Travaglia, who had Epstein for 10th grade math. “It just felt very unformed. He didn’t command the class.”

Joshua Persky, who graduated in 1977, had Epstein for physics.

“I thought he was okay,” Persky said. “Once in a while, he could not complete a complex homework problem, which I didn’t mind either.”

Peter Thomas Roth, who later founded an eponymous skin care company, described Epstein as an “amazing” physics teacher of his favorite class on Facebook. Epstein also tutored Roth in statistics to prepare him for the Wharton School at Penn.

Still, some kids complained to school administrators, Persky said.

“I think it was unusual that a school focused on quality education would hire a person with no experience and no college degrees, especially when the Dalton teachers we knew were excellent,” said E. Belvin Williams, a former Dalton trustee and associate dean of the Teachers College at Columbia University. “My hunch is he had contacts with parents or board members.”

By comparison, Travaglia noted, her geometry teacher was Yves Volel, an activist and Haitian presidential candidate who was assassinated in the late ’80s. Volel’s style was much more rigorous.

Ultimately, Epstein’s haphazard, uninspired teaching led to his dismissal after the 1975-76 school year, according to Peter Branch who was the head of the high school.

“It was determined that he had not adequately grown as a new teacher to the standard of the school,” Branch said.

The Dalton School is one of a group of New York private schools known for demanding academics. And like its peers, Dalton is expensive. Tuition in the mid-’70s was about $3,200 for upper school students. Today it’s over $50,000.

There’s a focus on the arts at Dalton. Notable alumni include Anderson Cooper, Claire Danes, Sean Lennon — the son of John Lennon and Yoko Ono — and a long list of actors, artists and musicians. Curriculum follows “the Dalton Plan,” which encourages each student to make his or her own educational choices.

The school offered a rich assortment of classes — 10 languages, including Russian; printmaking; jewelry-making; sculpture and drawing classes with nude models.

Persky performed modern dance with Jennifer Grey — “Baby” from “Dirty Dancing” — and Shauna Redford, daughter of Robert Redford.

Epstein arrived during a transition period for the Dalton School. The previous headmaster, Donald Barr, father of current Attorney General William Barr, quarreled with the board of trustees and resigned. Barr was a disciplinarian who clashed with the progressive parents.

“Donald Barr was a very authoritarian headmaster,” Karin Williams said.

Following Barr’s departure, T-shirts and sneakers were incorporated into the dress code. Blue jeans and “long male hair” were still prohibited, according to The Daltonian, the school’s newspaper. Travaglia remembers administrators measuring the length of girls’ skirts during the Barr years.

Barr left a semester before Epstein arrived and it’s unclear whether Barr had a hand in hiring him. Branch, who was interim headmaster, did not remember who hired him.

Apart from Epstein, Dalton has weathered a few of its own scandals in recent years. In 2013, a school email to boosters and donors included a confidential list of children who had been rejected. Gardner Dunnan, the headmaster who succeeded Barr, has been sued, accused of sexually assaulting a female student that he let stay in his apartment in 1986. The case has been transferred to the Southern District of New York, where Epstein is being prosecuted for alleged sex trafficking.

Epstein built a career making connections with the well connected. He got his start at Dalton and never moved far away. At Dalton, he was surrounded by the young girls he became fixated on as an alleged sexual predator, and schools became his preferred hunting ground.

His most recent accuser, Jennifer Araoz, said she was approached by one of Epstein’s recruiters when she was a 14-year-old freshman outside The Talent Unlimited High School on East 68th Street, a handful of blocks from his mansion. She was brought to him by a woman in her 20s who told her he was a caring man who could help her become an actress. He showed Araoz around his opulent townhouse with its super-sized decor of statues, taxidermy, leopard-print furniture and a Steinway grand piano, while white-gloved servants offered her wine and cheese, according to her court filings and an NBC interview. She was paid $300 for her visits until the day a massage in a special room with angels painted on the sky-blue ceiling turned into rape, Araoz said.

Her story mirrors those of other victims, who said he preyed on young teens who often had artistic aspirations He sought out insecure, vulnerable girls; prosecutors speculate there could be hundreds. Even Epstein’s friends remarked -- in flattering tones -- on how Epstein loved women and was frequently in the company of young women in New York, Palm Beach, at his Zorro Ranch in New Mexico or his private island in the Caribbean. His jet was nicknamed the “Lolita Express.”

At the Interlochen School for the Arts in Michigan, Epstein targeted 13-year-old Nadia Bjorlin, according to her mother, who told the Daily Mail that Epstein offered to be Nadia’s “godfather” and foster her singing career. Bjorlin’s mother, wary of Epstein and his aggressive assistant Ghislaine Maxwell, rejected his perverse proposal; Nadia went on to become a soap opera star.

Araoz and Bjorlin had both lost their fathers shortly before Epstein approached them.

Epstein, a talented pianist who attended Interlochen summer camp as a kid, donated $17,000 and a new cabin adjacent to the girls’ dorms to the school in the woods.

Epstein created a self portrait, framing himself as a wealthy party host, philanthropist and intellectual, donating money of uncertain origins from his foundations to arts organizations, scientists, Harvard University, the Santa Fe Institute think tank and cancer research funds.

He gave $180,000 to Ballet Florida in West Palm Beach, some of that earmarked for therapeutic massages.

The all-girls Hewitt School, located four blocks from his Manhattan mansion, received $15,000.

Epstein donated $75,000 to Dalton, springboard to the role he wanted to play.

The last time she saw her old teacher, a Dalton alumna recalled, Epstein was crossing Park Avenue at 71st Street with Woody Allen and his young wife, Soon-Yi Previn.

Miami Herald investigative reporter Nicholas Nehamas contributed to this report.

[loislaneinvestigatesauthors]

Chicken Doodle Soup (Don Owens) presents Stick to the Funny Stuff!

I notice your lead female character, 'Oprah Fat-Free' deals with severe depression. Did you do research into how depression works, how the state of mind of a person changes when they are experiencing that? Have you known anyone who was depressed to that point? 

QUESTION #1:  Good question, even though "STICK To The Funny Stuff" doesn't go in-depth on the subject of depression, but rather, utilizes stick-figure comedienne Oprah Fat-Free as a representative for every human being on the planet, who faces some obstacle serving as hindrance to positive existential progression along this miraculous road called life.  But yes, statistics indicate there is a substantial number of depression cases on record. The World Health Organization has reported 300 million people around the world suffer this affliction. Reportedly, 16.2 million U.S. adults have experienced a major depressive episode, with approximately 10 million being severely impaired by their experience.  Anxiety disorders are attributed to approximately 50% of all people diagnosed with depression.  

Depression can befall an individual at any stage in his or her life.  It can range from moderate to crippling, as there are many forms of depression, as well as multiple catalysts thought to precipitate its onset, such as complex-chemical reactions in the brain and gene vulnerability identification.  I myself have been depressed and sought counseling while in the military.  My girlfriend, now deceased due to heart failure, suffered from a bipolar disorder and depression was a significant marker highlighting her condition.  It's a mental-health issue that has motivated individuals even to suicide.  But here's a statistic that I  believe offers hope:  I read a 2017 study indicating that Christianity at this point is still the world's number one faith. So then, for followers of the faith, God offers hope in the face of this state of impairment.

Of course there are skeptics who ascribe God's existence to fervent imagination, but what about those CERTIFIED physicians, such as Dr. Sean Thomas George, who go on public record as saying hopeless cases were reversed by divine intervention?  Who could be more credible sources than esteemed, highly skilled health-technicians, to confirm a miraculous event?  By the way, I myself was in three hospitals in two different states, dying, with no explanation whatsoever as to why my body was shutting itself down.  Doctors were baffled by my condition.  So perplexed was one of my doctors, he mused about publishing my case in a medical journal.  I wouldn't be here today - except for the prayers of my family and the church.  I'm a living witness to God's healing hand.  

Be they physical or mental conditions, God's Word says He is ready to step in to assist us with our afflictions.  I was reading a case of a depressed woman who'd been deemed to be in need of receiving shock treatments for her depression!  But as a believer, she called on Christ, and He availed Himself to her.  No one is saying these condition reversals take place in an instant, necessarily.  Although, God is more than capable of on-the-spot healing, as scripture illustrates.  But often in the Bible, God took His sweet time (in some instances, decades or CENTURIES) about turning situations around, simply because His timetable supersedes ours.  But He tells us in His Word that with His assist, we are more than conquerors through Him that love us (Romans 8:37) and that He is The Lord Who heals us (Exodus 15:26, Psalm 30:2).

Do you think that humor really helps people get through life stuff? Is it a matter of 'laugh or else you'll be crying?' 

QUESTION #2:  Definitely! I read an article posted online at PsychCentral entitled "9 WAYS THAT HUMOR HEALS" by Therese J. Borchard.  She states that "Of all the tools I use to combat depression and negativity, humor is by far the most fun."  I agree with her assessment that humor combats fear, comforts, and relaxes you.  She also notes that it reduces pain, boosts the immune system, reduces stress and cultivates optimism.  And she even mentions one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible, Proverbs 17:22, which states that a merry heart does good like medicine.  Actor Robin Williams' movie "Patch Adams", was based on real-life doctor Hunter Campbell, who infused laughter-based therapy into his treatment regimens for his patients.  Studies show that laughter is an unimpeachably viable element in the healing process.  

That said, I am a humor goon!  I love to laugh and I love trying to make others laugh.  This is why I chose humor to try to convey God's Good News message to the world.  I've seen the dramatic difference God can make in the lives of the willing - and how He replaces tears with the infectious rumble of hearty laughter! And I can tell you, I much prefer laughing to crying, unless they are tears of joy that ensue when you finally get past an agonizing condition or experience, such as the one I had while confined for a few months to hospital beds in Oklahoma and Texas.

How did you come up with Thin Diesel's little motivational messages? What happens when people can't pull themselves up by their own bootstraps anymore? 

QUESTION #3:  Thin Diesel is a character who comprises part of my personality.  If you read my previous bodies of work, you will see that I habitually inject into my projects these bite-sized parcels of humorous, pun-fueled philosophies designed to motivate you to go for broke, to attain the prized goal that defines your purpose, transcending you beyond meat-and-potatoes subsistence, to an actualization mountaintop whose reward is spiritual in scope, where a healthy paycheck is simply a byproduct (because truly money can't buy happiness, otherwise so much of the well-to-do populace wouldn't be as spiritually or emotionally disabled as many among the economically distressed).

I use God's Word, humor and cartoons to remind people that God can get them where He purposes them to be.  But even if you take away my humor tools and my illustrations, God is still right there, cheering you on, telling you He'll get you there as you trust in Him! In His word, He says that in OUR weakness lies HIS strength (2 Corinthians 12:9).  That faith and trust is what compels you to overcome your troubles. I've seen the change God makes in the lives of the hopeless.  It's really quite fascinating.  

What do you think is lacking in modern society that leaves so many people vulnerable to depression and anxiety? Some folks have clinical conditions that cause these mental states and need medical treatment, but I'm more talking about people who go through dark moods and life struggles. How do you think we can begin addressing these problems? 

QUESTION #4:  Don't get me wrong.  I believe in the benefits of medicine.  One of God's disciples was named Luke - and he was a physician.  Certainly our planet offers lavish provision from its vast wilderness-growth credenza, an eclectic array of ingestible products which aid in our mental and physical well being.  But just as the Bible says we cannot live by bread alone, neither can we depend solely upon the abilities of modern medical advancement.  We are human beings, crafted in the Image of our Creator.  The global community we inhabit, unlike yesteryear, is now fraught with ever-evolving technologies, expectations and social philosophies that foster stress, strife and fear.  Add to these elements mankind's reluctance to look to Him Who knows us better than anyone.  

Our hearts are God-shaped and require constant spiritual nourishment that we don't feed it, instead offering it an unhealthy menu of all things contrary to what God says is good for us.  This detrimental diet gives way to those elements which cause our mental/emotional/spiritual health to deteriorate to a milieu where darkness lurks. I know this to be true because, when I used to be depressed a great deal of the time.  As they say, the struggle is REAL.  And grossly disheartening.  But  one day I listened to The Heavenly Father when He told me I don't have to be depressed if I defer to Him.  I did listen - and now I'm thrilled to say I don't become depressed anymore! Ever! I really don't.  That's not to say life is all magical now or anything like that. I have my "MAN, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING MOMENTS???!!!" to be sure.  But Christ has taught me that no matter what I think I see or feel or hear, HE is ALWAYS in control of EVERYTHING.  If we could all truly get a good grasp of His proclamation in our hearts and minds, things would be so different in so many lives.

How did you decide to tell these characters' stories through a zine-like graphic novel? I mean, this could have been a standup routine, or a novella if you expanded the story. What attracted you to the graphic novel format? 

QUESTION #5:  Funny you should ask.  I HAVE performed Christian standup comedy on TV and radio.  And I do have a Christian-humor novel that will be coming out soon, entitled THE DIARY OF BRAN FRANK.  But ever since I was a child growing up in Chicago, I've always had an affinity for drawing. I began making animated cartoons with my movie camera and projector starting at age 12.  I even won an 8th-grade science fair and was sent to the district science fair with my entry, an animated film about energy production.  It was a positively absurd premise, featuring a caveman clubbing a dinosaur into submission, to harness its strength for various chores before the advent of the wheel.  In retrospect, I surmise I only won first place because the adjudicators were smitten with the enterprising spirit of a 14-year old, who'd manufactured an animated cartoon for the occasion.  

In any event, history shows that cartoons are an extremely popular vehicle employed to convey any kind of story for any occasion.  That includes stories that are spiritual in scope. 

How do people tend to respond to your work? Do you have any interesting stories from people who came to hear you or who read your previous books? 

QUESTION #6:  Much to my delight, people seem to love what I do.  I would never brag on myself because people who boast tend not to be as good as they think they are.  But I'm getting great reviews on amazon.com instead of complaints.  Yippee!!!!!!  I love doing book signings as author/cartoonist cHicKEn dOOdLE sOuP.  Okay, here are a few of may favorite instances concerning my work:

1)  I wrote of book of Christian cartoons called MYLES A HEDD, under the pseudonym, The Man From A.N.K.L.E.  What was so cool about that book is that my Indianapolis-based author representative liked it so much, she called me in Southern California to ask me if I would write a book with her!  I was so incredibly honored! 

2)  Many years ago, prolific writer/producer/director/ author/Stephen J. Cannell really liked MYLES A HEDD, and consented to write a blurb for me to insert into one of my books that was to be forthcoming!  What a pleasure to be complimented in such a manner by the now-deceased, Emmy-winning Hollywood luminary who'd created so many memorable TV series such as 21 JUMP STREET,  THE A-TEAM, THE ROCKFORD FILES, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO and too many more to name here.  Also, Movie-TV-star Rob Schneider (DEUCE BIGELOW, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE) and "Mad Mike" of MTV's popular series, PIMP MY RIDE have offered me support.  Mad Mike even wrote a review and did a video promotion for my last book, LOVE STEENX.

3).  A woman recently read my current book, cHicKEn dOOdLE sOuP pREsEntS...STICK TO THE FUNNY STUFF!!!  When she arrived at the final page, she told me how much she loved it...while shedding tears! Actual tears!  I was touched beyond measure!  That kind of reception is an author's dream and I will never ever forget that.  Because I really was wondering if people would get it.  They do and I thank God I can use laughter to point the way to Him.  God bless you one and all. And hey, don't forget to go for your dreams like I am - as I STICK TO THE FUNNY STUFF!!!

Stick to the Funny Stuff can be ordered here from Iceberg Tony’s Used Denture Discounts. 

[theconservativebrief]

The first 30 seconds of the trailer for Insatiable, a new comedy series coming to Netflix on August 10, introduces the story of a chubby high schooler grappling with bullies, unrequited crushes, and the FOMO that comes from nights spent on the couch eating ice cream.

It’s all a fairly standard setup for what looks to be a show about modern teens — perhaps even one that, like Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, is benefitted by the fact that its lead looks more like an average high schooler than the glamorous 20-something stars of shows like Riverdale.

But then the trailer takes a turn. Patty, our main character, gets punched in the face, has her jaw wired shut for months, and thereby loses so much weight that by the time she goes back to school in the fall, she’s a bonafide (thin) hottie. It’s with this newfound power that she can apparently get her revenge on the kids who’d excluded her in the past.

[embedded content]

Because no one has officially reviewed the show yet, the trailer is all that we have to determine what the rest of Insatiable will look like and what themes it will deal with. But based on that one minute and 30 seconds, the reaction has been … not great.

Critics on Twitter and elsewhere have called the premise of the show fatphobic, triggering to people with eating disorders, and a regressive lens through which to view fat people’s stories. The Good Place star Jameela Jamil, who has advocated for body autonomy in the past, tweeted about how there’s a problem with implying that the only way to “win” in life is to diet:

Kids who bully are just miserable, badly raised arseholes. It is not, and should not ever be YOUR problem that they have a problem with you. You don’t have to conform. You don’t have to placate. Revenge isn’t a good use of your time and energy. And starving yourself is

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) July 20, 2018

Writer Roxane Gay also noted the trailer’s flawed logic that fat women can’t stand up for themselves and must undergo physical trauma to become their best, skinny selves:

Ahhh yes, a fat girl could never stand up for herself while fat and of course she has to be assaulted and have her mouth wired shut before she becomes her best self, her skinny self. Good to know!

— roxane gay (@rgay) July 22, 2018

There’s now even a Change.org petition that, as of publication, has garnered more than 145,000 signatures to stop Netflix from airing the show, on the grounds that releasing it will be damaging to young girls’ self-esteem and cause or trigger eating disorders.

One day after the trailer premiered, on July 20, Insatiable’s writer and producer Lauren Gussis defended the show against critics, writing that the inspiration was based on her own experience with an eating disorder as a teenager, and that comedy is a means of dealing with our vulnerabilities.

Star Debby Ryan, a former Disney Channel actress, took to Instagram to defend the show, writing that it was a satirical look at “how difficult and scary it can be to go to move through the world in a body,” and assured viewers that the humor is “not in the fat-shaming.” Alyssa Milano, who also appears in the trailer, said in a 30-minute Twitter video that she “totally gets” the backlash to the trailer, but hopes people will wait to see the full show before judging it.

This, above all, is what the creators and stars are attempting to communicate. But for people who are so accustomed to seeing their stories told onscreen via the same harmful tropes, the Insatiable trailer could be seen as just another exhausting example of the negative ways TV and movies portray fat people.

To understand why the Insatiable trailer hit such a nerve, you have to look at pop culture’s terrible track record of telling fat people’s stories.

On July 23, artist and writer Kiva Bay asked his Twitter followers to name the fat-hating moment in media that has stuck with them, starting with the scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Aunt Marge inflates to such great proportions that she literally floats away.

Responses ranged from Bridget Jones being consistently described as fat (in the books, she weighs 130 pounds) to pretty much the entire premise of Pixar’s Wall-E, which depicts a futuristic dystopia in which everyone isn’t just overweight, but share the negative characteristics associated with being overweight: that they are lazy and stupid, and that all they care about is passively consuming whatever’s in front of them.

The problem persists even in media that’s often held up as progressive — many people in the thread called out Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks & Recreation’s recurring fat jokes, while others brought up the inherent fatphobia of shows like Gilmore Girls and 30 Rock in which objectively thin main characters have an obsession with unhealthy food.

A 2009 Jezebel piece described the “skinny glutton” phenomenon as “a sure indicator to the audience that these women are Single, Quirky and, (because they’re thin, only gently) Sad” because casting an actually fat actor in the role would, the thinking goes, be too pathetic.

The Insatiable trailer also reprises an especially troubling Hollywood practice: the fat suit. When a character actually is meant to be fat, instead of casting a bigger actor in the role, often a thin actor will wear a fat suit.

We tend to see them used in flashbacks to a time when a now-thin character was fat, like Monica in Friends, Schmidt in New Girl, or Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. The “humor” comes not only from seeing actors wearing a silly costume, like Eddie Murphy in Norbit or The Nutty Professor, but also from the ability to crack jokes at a past character’s fatness with the knowledge that the present character is laughing now, too.

Few uses of fat suits, however, are more controversial than the 2001 film Shallow Hal, in which Jack Black plays a man who has to be hypnotized to find Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit sexy enough to be his girlfriend. Not only is the entire premise pretty gross, but, as a Telegraph piece noted after comparisons were drawn to the recent Amy Schumer film I Feel Pretty, the movie consistently uses fat bodies as punchlines:

“The camera linger[s] over every dimple and crease on the physical form of Ivy Snitzer, Paltrow’s body double, and contrasting the sight of Paltrow in revealing booty-shorts with a large woman spilling out of her clothes. Jokes are endlessly made about her appetite, while every chair Rosemary sits on appears perilously close to collapsing (it’s a sight-gag that is repeated twice on-screen, along with a deleted scene involving a caved-in bed).”

That contrast — the visual of the character wearing a fat suit versus the character without it — can have the effect of implying that fatness, when constantly compared to the superior thinness, is grotesque and deserves to be laughed at.

That’s the history Insatiable is drawing on when it puts Debby Ryan in a fat suit, regardless of intention.

And there is yet another pattern that Insatiable seems to fall into: the idea that weight loss is the road to happiness. Friends’ Monica and New Girl’s Schmidt are both characters who don’t accomplish their goals until they lose weight. The entire wellness industry is based around this false promise — that losing weight is the key to getting whatever you’ve always wanted, whether that’s love, money, or revenge. (See: Khloe Kardashian’s extremely on-the-nose reality series, Revenge Body.)

In an essay for Medium titled “To the writers of Insatiable,” fat activist and writer Your Fat Friend wrote about the problem with this narrative, pointing out that not only do 97 percent of dieters gain back what little weight they lose (or more), but that weight loss is often the only narrative that fat people get to have.

She continues:

I have never seen a fat life like mine on screen. I have not seen fat people recklessly, happily in love, as I have been. I have not seen thin partners struggle to accept their own attraction to fat people. I have not seen fat people getting promoted, getting fired, working hard, succeeding. I have only seen fat people fail. Anything else, I have learned, is reserved for the penitent thin.

In short, fat characters are defined entirely by their fatness, and only get to become multi-dimensional once they lose the weight. It’s a trope that the Insatiable trailer even touches on in a meta way: When Patty returns to school, newly thin, she muses, “Now I could be the former fatty who turned into a brain, or an athlete, or a princess,” as if these character traits can’t apply to fat people because their main identifier is already “fat.” Until we see the show, it isn’t clear where this strain of self-awareness’s endpoint lies, or how far the series will take its meta-understanding of fat tropes, but it could be a promising sign.

So yes, the Insatiable trailer, as of right now, is still just a trailer; there’s still a whole show to come and be watched and discussed, starting on August 10. But many viewers are worried that the groundwork seems to be laid for a series about the same stories of fat people we’ve seen thousands of times over.

And though its stars and creators promise the show is an empathetic look at the pressures modern teenagers face surrounding body image, well, don’t we already sort of … know them? Above all, what’s necessary is an empathetic look at fat people in general: one that ideally doesn’t involve weight loss — and certainly no fat suit.

Original Source -> Why 150,000 people are calling for Netflix to cancel the teen comedy Insatiable before it debuts

via The Conservative Brief

[thesydneyfeminists]

Celebrating Black History Month and Akwaeke Emezi

By:  Brittany L. for The Sydney Feminists

Image source: http://www.equaliteach.co.uk/getting-black-history-month-right/

February is Black History Month in North America. Before I delve any deeper into what that means for me, I thought it would be helpful to give a bit of background on the history of Black History Month. In the US, Black History Month began in 1926 as “Negro History Week,” the brain child of Carter G. Woodson. Woodson chose to celebrate Negro History Week during the second week of February, the birth week of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. Negro History Week was popular across the US for years, but it was not until the height of the Civil Rights Movement it transformed into Black History Month.  In 1976, President Ford declared Black History Month a national observance and it has been celebrated in schools across the country ever since (http://time.com/4197928/history-black-history-month/). Technically, each Black History Month has a theme. According to the History Channel, 2018’s theme is “African Americans in Times of War,” which “honors the roles that black Americans have played in warfare, from the American Revolution to the present day” (http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/black-history-month). That being said, the History Channel doesn’t mention Marsha P. Johnson in their write up of the Stonewall Riots once. So, maybe take their word with a grain of salt.

As someone who was born and raised in the Northeastern United States, I have a lot of memories associated with Black History Month. Mostly, they blend together in my mind, because they all followed along the same line. In first grade my class read a picture book about Martin Luther King Jr. Afterwards, we talked about what it means to have a dream. Then we colored in cardboard cutout clouds and filled them with our own dreams. This artistic trend continued throughout most of elementary school, with vague topics like justice and equality thrown in once we hit fourth or fifth grade. I don’t think we talked about slavery or racism in the US at all, even when we briefly covered the American Civil War. By seventh or eighth grade, we finally started learning about the Civil Rights Movement and why it was necessary. I use the word “learn” lightly here. It wasn’t until much, much later I truly came to know about the people and events of that iconic era. From the ages of six to eighteen, I was taught the same handful of stories during Black History Month. There was Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglass. Occasionally someone would mention Malcolm X and W.E.B DuBois, but only softly and obliquely, like curse words. Those handful of individuals were the only parts of black history I was ever introduced to as a child in the public school system.

After graduating high school, I shipped off to Virginia for university. Things were different in the heart of the once Confederacy. I hesitate to say they were worse, because people paint the south negatively in the media, and truly the north is home to just as many bigots. But around the same time as my geographical move from north to south, my world views shifted drastically as well. The feminism I started to concretely develop was intrinsically linked to my understandings of race and queerness in the south. During my time at university, I audited a course called “Queering Colonialism.” It dealt intimately with the many and sometimes conflicting intersections of feminism, queer theory and race studies in the context of the continued colonialism and imperialism of the US, Canada, Australia and the UK. By that time, I had already figured out most of the stories I heard growing up were slanted or skewed to some degree. But that course forced me to reanalyze everything I knew to be true. One of the many life lessons I continue to take away is how much the histories of the US and other colonized countries are whitewashed. What we do learn about non-white history must not uproot the stakes of white supremacy. I cannot speak for everyone in the United States, and certainly not for anyone in Canada, the UK or the Netherlands. However, I imagine my experience of Black History Month, as a white person taught largely by white people, is sadly not untypical.

Image source: https://www.nysenate.gov/newsroom/articles/february-2018-black-history-month-state-new-york

Black History Month is essential to the curriculum of public and private schools. It carries the legacy of black excellence and is a potent reminder of the power and influence of black communities. But our experiences of black history cannot start and end in the month of February. Black history must be an integral part of the feminist movement; so much of feminist history is black history. We need to acknowledge this history, as a community and in our individual lives. One way I have tried to incorporate black history into my feminism is through the written and spoken word. Prior to university, my experience with black writers was reserved to Langston Hughes and Chinua Achebe. Both are well worth reading. Equally so: Audre Lorde, bell hooks, Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Zora Neale Hurston, Jesmyn Ward, Alice Walker, Roxanne Gay, etc, etc, etc. Black women and nonbinary people have been dominating the literature scene for decades in the US. Not to mention the sundry of African authors and non-American black authors. Plus trans, nonbinary and queer black writers. The lists go on and on. Unfortunately, I can’t cover all the amazing black women and nonbinary authors in this short piece, or even in a hundred short pieces. I hope after you’re finished here, you go out and do your own research. If literature isn’t your thing, find a black woman or nonbinary actor, singer, painter. Don’t stop with the arts. Learn about black women and nonbinary scientists, inventors, revolutionaries. Make black history a part of your feminism in tangible and expansive ways. Listen to black women and nonbinary people, every day. Learn their stories.

This week, I want to highlight one particular black author, Akwaeke Emezi, a nonbinary, transgender, Igbo and Tamil writer and visual artist. Her debut novel Freshwater dropped earlier this month and has been making huge waves in the literary scene. Her YA novel PET is due for release sometime in 2019. Emezi has published several short stories, various interviews and a handful of nonfiction articles. If that’s not enough, she’s been featured in Vogue and has produced a gorgeous video art series titled THE UNBLINDING. Emezi was raised in Nigeria and holds several degrees, including an MPA from New York University. Visit her website (http://www.akwaeke.com/home) to get a taste of her breathtaking work. My first experience of Emezi’s writing was her piece on gender transition and being ogbanje (https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/writer-and-artist-akwaeke-emezi-gender-transition-and-ogbanje.html). It continues to be my favorite. In it, she voices the pressing question, “Our language around gender identity is often so Western, how can we intersect that with non-Western realities?” Western feminists would do well to probe not just the language we use for gender identities, but sexualities, ethnicities, religion and more. In the light of Black History Month, we should ask ourselves how feminism can be coded as both White/Western, and, more importantly, what we can do to change that.

Although much of Emezi’s writing is applicable to today’s political climate, she beautifully melds the political with the personal. Her intimate accounts of her unique lived realities draw readers towards things they never knew they didn’t know.  Before reading Emezi’s article, I was ignorant of the ogbanje. Still, I felt connected to her voice and her story, despite my isolation from the specific topic. One quote struck me deeply: “It has been grueling to remake myself each time I learn more about who or what I am — to take the steps that such remaking requires, to bear the costs. Sometimes, those costs are worn on your heart, like when the people you love no longer have space in their worldview for you. Other times, it’s the body that bears them, in markings and modifications.” As a feminist and as a human being, I feel passionately about the art of remaking yourself. My experiences of remaking are different than Emezi’s and all of yours. For each of us, it is difficult work. But it is always work done towards the end goal of becoming your most authentic self. Akwaeke Emezi’s writing and artwork is a vestige of her own personal journey and a potent reminder of the necessary work we all must continue to do to be better.

Image source: http://www.akwaeke.com/

Sources:

http://www.akwaeke.com/home

http://therumpus.net/2018/02/the-rumpus-interview-with-akwaeke-emezi/

http://thestylehq.com/need-to-know-akwaeke-emezi/

https://www.thecut.com/2018/01/writer-and-artist-akwaeke-emezi-gender-transition-and-ogbanje.html

https://granta.com/who-is-like-god/

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/neq4mq/akwaeke-emezi-freshwater-book-interview?utm_source=broadlytwitterus

Good Reads Interview with Akwaeke Emezi

http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/black-history-month

http://www.history.com/topics/the-stonewall-riots

[comicsbeat]

Yet more amazing comics debuting at tomorrow’ Comic Arts Brooklyn show!

Roopert August Lipp Revival House 56 pages, 8.5″ X 11″ 2 color offset
$10

The long-awaited debut by comics virtuoso, August Lipp. Perhaps you’ve been fortunate to see glimpses of his work in esteemed anthologies such as Smoke Signals, for example. Now, one can evince the full dexterity of his talent with the exuberant saga, Roopert. Roopert is excited to return to school after a summer of splendid adventures! His best chums will all be there: Clyve the shy badger, Benji the other, slightly shorter bear, Hannah the ballsy fox, Timothy the average frog, Clarissa the dentally-advantaged crocodile and many more. Hey, this school is a real ZOO! What kind of antics will they get up to when the bell rings and Miss Julienne the human’s 6th grade class begins? Irreverence and beastly nature are masked by overzealous displays of etiquette as the child animals struggle for agency in the face of less-than-responsible authority figures. Follow along as this comic meanders through Roopert’s first action-packed day of middle school! Adult supervision recommended. published by Revival House Press!

Hot Dog Beach #4 by Lale Westvind

High octane slapstick adventure starring Mop and Fuzz, two ding dongs trying to make a buck on a strange gig that never ends.

“BIG BONERZ: A Street Dawgz Comic Collection” by Lizz Lunney

This experimental comic tells the story of a group of canines that tackle depression, drug addiction and anger problems whilst roaming the streets and protecting their cardboard box home from outsiders. Lunney explores themes of fame/celebrity, mental health problems, class struggle, addiction and more through a pack of homeless street dogs. Lots of jokes! Lots of bones! Published by Birdcage Bottom Books 5.25″ x 7.5″, 44 pages. $7
Two-color risograph cover with b+w interior

The Loud Atlas

By Peter + Maria Hoey

Our new accordion fold book takes a surreal and funny look at the noisy world imagined by the Italian Futurists. Using the style of Marinetti and the rhyming pattern of Dr. Seuss. 8 panels and 45” inches long. Screen printed in 2 colors and hand bound on black book board in an edition of 50.

  DOMINO BOOKS

At CAB, we are proud to debut our ninth publication, BOOK OF DAZE by E.A. Bethea. Swing by table M3 to check it out—we will also have dozens and dozens of rare zines and art books available, many of them making their debut at the show.

  If you can’t make it to CAB, BOOK OF DAZE is available for pre-order now through our online shop.

  Book of Daze by E.A. Bethea. $6, 40 pages. Color cover, black and white interior, printed on newsprint.

“I first discovered Bethea’s stuff almost twenty years ago, she is one of the people whose work made me finally commit to comics as my medium of choice. With her barbed, nervous line and blunt writing style, she’s like a Duchampian voice calling for comics revolt. Her comics call out to us that no matter how damaged or how much of an outsider someone is, comics is our birthright.” -Josh Bayer, author of Theth

Book of Daze by E.A. Bethea is the kind of book DOMINO exists to publish. I first found Bethea’s work lying around an apartment I was visiting. I picked it up and from that moment on, have never forgotten it. As I began to read her dense pages, I was overwhelmed by the straightforward emotional statements and startlingly precise mind behind the sequences. In one moment, Bethea’s comics would acknowledge pain and disappointment, then turn to explain it away or justify things, only to finally confront the problem from a new angle. On the next page, simple pleasures became the focus, romantic notions embraced. Later on in the book cynical approaches to anything and everything were duly considered. All of this managed to congeal as Bethea kept another strong cloud hanging over it all: a refusal to shy away from an unashamed embrace of the full panorama of life. 

Bethea, a simple interpretation might offer, chronicles the web of living in the world with a heart and a mind sometimes at odds and sometimes simpatico. But Bethea gives us something more complex: at times, the work feels dead-pan as it shifts from exhilaration to resignation without a change in visual presentation, but it’s here where we have a guide to the heart of Bethea’s project. The often uniform nature of the pages and the highly non-uniform nature of what is contained within become a catalog of days or weeks or years. One page offers a subdued period in life, while the next (seemingly) similar page offers a day full of regret. Bethea talks about her work relating to cinema, specifically calling attention to what happens between one of her panels and the next. The shifts in emotion and carefully chosen images alongside highly precise language feel like walking into a film where the entire crew–from director to actor to gaffer—united in one mind to make something highly exquisite.

The Unquotable Trump by R. SIkoryak (Drawn and Quarterly)

R. Sikoryak frames Trump and his declarations as the words and actions of the most notable villains and antagonists in comic book history.

The House of Dickinson by R. Sikoryak (self published)

This mini combines the poetry of Emily Dickinson with the atmosphere of 1950’s horror comics.

Futile Comics #6 Mike Centeno

A 16 page look at a day in the life of a woman who deals with subway abuse, retail hijinx, and gym bros until she reaches the breaking point and has no energy left to keep all the black goop of rage inside of her.

Precious Little Lives By Joe Garber

This new American classic follows the melodramatic tragedies of a Tap n’ Scat Jazzist just trying to make her way in the world with a head full of dreams and a pocket full of toxic-male assholes.

Generous Consolation Conor Stechschulte In consolation for not having the third volume of Generous Bosom ready in time for CAB, this zine offers a preview of selected images from that book. Available on its own or for free with a preorder of GB3.

TRUMPTRUMP Volume 1: nomination to inauguration

by Warren Craghead III

Every day, Warren Craghead draws and shares grotesque portraits of Donald Trump and his minions. TRUMPTRUMP Volume 1 collects the first six months of these daily drawings with context and commentary, from when Trump accepted the Republican nomination for president on July 21, 2016 until his inauguration on January 20, 2017. — Retrofit Comics

Bestiary by Alden Viguilla

A collection of mythical beasts risographed in blue and gold.

  Final form #1 By Craig Bowers

A fantasy about two friends trying to make quick cash so they can go travel the world and two frogs slacking on the job.

The 12 Days of Christmas

Caitlin Keegan

The 12 days of Christmas, illustrated. A holiday zine that you can color (or not.) 

Twin Peaks poster

Caitlin Keegan

12×18″ poster featuring sketchbook drawings of characters from season 3.

 Bronze Enamel Sun Pin

Caitlin Keegan

Bronze + enamel pin with reversible sun face (1.125″)

I’ll also have copies of The Illuminated Tarot, which came out in April.

So What? Press Tales of the Night Watchman LLC

www.sowhatpress.com

  Tales of the Night Watchman is the story of Nora, a blogger stuck working a dead end job in coffee, and her roommate, Charlie, who happens to be possessed (in the nicest way possible) by a spectral detective called The Night Watchman. Baristas by day, heroes by night, Nora and Charlie answer the call to fight the city’s never-ending flux of supernatural activity.

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Issue synopsis:

The Gowanus Golem is back! In this follow up to one of the series’ most popular tales, Brooklyn’s most toxic monster is after a couple thugs who are responsible for the death of a young boy. There’s only one problem: To stop him, The Night Watchman must protect one of the killers. Oh, and did we mention it’s also a Christmas special? Written by Dave Kelly Artwork by Brett Hobson Colors by Clare DeZutti Cover by Tim Hamilton

Over Time, Every Section Was Allowed To Grow Accordingly Aaron Cockle, New York Is For Sale, Table J2

It’s part 1 of a 2-part Franz Kafka fan comic, 32 pages

Annie Mok Loves Videogames by Annie Mok

A collection of comics, essays, and an interview, all about an abiding love and critique of games such as The Legend of Zelda, Shenmue, Sonic, and others. Annie Mok freelances for Rookie Mag, The Comics Journal, The Establishment, and others, and now makes games such as The Haunted Nintendo.

Keep Going Greg Kletsel

32 page Risograph zine inspired by the phrase “keep going”.

  Animation: Dansemorphia (on custom silicone USB’s !) Zine: Frame Drain –

Roya Haroun

blurb- Danse! Morph! Ya!

Parasite Wanderer By Connor McCann

A girl wakes up with a parasite attached to her face and the two embark on a bombastic and poetic 16 page adventure.

People of Oakland Asuka Ohsawa

When I moved from Brooklyn to Oakland in 2014, in an attempt to get to know my new environment, I got into the habit of staring at people who caught my attention, memorizing their facial features, and drawing them at home. The book is a collection of some of those sketches.

Somewhere, Sometime Asuka Ohsawa

After my dad passed away in 2016, I traveled to my childhood home in Japan often and dug through his material possessions. This experience triggered an avalanche of childhood memories that I hadn’t thought of for so many years. I decided to piece together bits and pieces of these memories in this book.

Slasher #5 by Charles Forsman

It’s all been leading to this. The final issue of Charles Forsman’s exploration into violence and sexuality. After the events of issue four, Christine lets herself indulge for the last time. From the creator of the E4/Netflix series The End of the F***ing World.

Live at the Grelman: #4 Amy Magick By Vinnie Neuberg, AT Pratt, and Derek Timm-Brock

Live at the Grelman is a collaborative storytelling stand-up comedy comic strip. All strips are written and drawn in the order that they appear and nothing is preplanned. This issue features guest strips by Drew Miller, Disa Wallander, Lane Graff, Max Huffman, Kelsey Wroten, Haejin Park, Mikey Karpiel, and Michael Furler. 40pp

Touch By Vinnie Neuberg

A new mini-comic about an online date gone awry in a Virtual Reality world. Each comic comes with a foldout poster. 24pp



False Advertising By Dylan Balliett

False Advertising is a collection of recent illustrations, comic strips, and single panel gag comics by Dylan Balliett.

The Fishes’ Ball By Priscilla Boatwright

A locket. A fisherman. A steed. The Fishes’ Ball is a short tale about a man who descends to the bottom of a lake in search of his beloved.

CAB 2017 Debuts Part Two: More exciting comics to fill your brains and shelves Yet more amazing comics debuting at tomorrow' Comic Arts Brooklyn show! Roopert August Lipp Revival House…