𝟷𝚔 || 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊
♡ ︎ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You go through a whirlwind of emotions when drunk.
♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: drunk!reader, Reader annoying Sirius
♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: James Potter x drunk!Reader
You were slumped between James and Sirius, giggling uncontrollably, your legs swinging off the armrest of the couch as you hiccuped. The room was warm, and everything felt so funny. Especially Sirius's hair.
"You know what, Pads?" you slurred, poking Sirius in the cheek. "You look like a... a giant poodle. But a mean one. Like, the poodles at the dog shows that bite people."
Sirius's jaw dropped. “A poodle? You—no, absolutely not. I am—what did you say I was, James?”
James was trying not to laugh. "Uh, majestic, I think."
"Majestic!" Sirius pointed at you dramatically, like that would prove his point.
You snorted so hard you almost fell off the couch, but James caught you, his arm wrapping around your waist and steadying you. "Sure, sure, 'Padfoot the Majestic Poodle.'"
"It's mostly because of your hair—" you giggled, reaching out to pat the top of his head, missing entirely and booping his nose instead. "It's so fluffy, like a big, angry puppy!"
Sirius frowned, swatting your hand away dramatically. "I am not a dog, and my hair is majestic, thank you very much."
"Fluffy," you repeated, poking him in the cheek now. "Sirius, fluffy like a… like a poodle!"
James tried to hold back a laugh as Sirius looked properly offended, folding his arms with a huff. "Are you serious?"
You snorted at his pun. "No, you’re Sirius!"
Remus groaned from beside Peter. "Oh no. Not this again."
Peter shook his head, barely holding back his own giggles. "Here we go…"
“Are you lot serious right now?” Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms. “A poodle. Really.”
“Sirius is serious,” you added, and then cracked up at your own joke. “Sirius is Sirius—wait, Remus, did you hear that? It’s his name.”
Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, we got it.”
“But I’m not a poodle,” Sirius muttered, still offended, while you continued to giggle.
James still eyed the bottle of firewhiskey in your hand like he wanted to take it away. Not that you noticed. Nope. You were too busy trying to poke Sirius in the cheek.
“You’ve got—got something there,” you slurred, leaning in far too close to Sirius’s face.
“What? Where?” Sirius asked, looking genuinely concerned as he wiped at his cheek. “Did I get dirt on me?”
“Yeah, it’s called your face,” you giggled, falling back onto James and laughing like it was the funniest thing you’d ever said.
Sirius gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. “How dare you! James, do you hear this? Your girlfriend is cruel.”
You waved him off, turning your attention back to James, who was trying not to smile. “He’s just mad ‘cause he’s not as pretty as you,” you said, squinting up at James like you were stating the most obvious fact in the world. You reached out and patted his face, a little too hard. “So. Pretty.”
James chuckled, grabbing your hand before you could slap him again. “Alright, love, I think you’ve had enough for one night.”
“Noooooo,” you whined, stretching out the word. “M’fine, Jamie. Look! I can sit up perfectly straight.” You immediately leaned to the side, almost toppling over onto Peter, who yelped and quickly scooted out of the way.
“Maybe… maybe a little too much,” Remus said from beside Peter, watching with raised eyebrows.
“Remus!” you called, throwing your arms out toward him. “You’re so boring, you know that?”
“Hey, I like boring,” Peter mumbled from his chair, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, Wormtail likes boring!” you repeated, pointing to Peter like he was your greatest proof.
You sat up suddenly, looking around the room, eyes wide and dramatic. “Wait. Wait. You guys can’t ever leave me, okay? Promise.”
The Marauders exchanged confused looks. “Uh—okay?” Peter said hesitantly.
“I’m serious—not like Sirius serious—" you hiccuped, "But you guys can’t leave. We have to stay friends forever or I’ll—I’ll hex all of you!” You threw your hands up, trying to look menacing, but it came off more like a flailing octopus.
James quickly wrapped his arms around you as you dramatically collapsed into his chest. “Love, we’re not going anywhere.”
“Speak for yourself,” Sirius muttered, though he was still looking somewhat offended by your earlier insult. “I don’t think I can handle another ‘your face is the problem’ comment.”
But you weren’t having it. You pointed a shaky finger at them, wobbling slightly. “You better not, Sirius Black! Or I’ll—” You narrowed your eyes dramatically, trying to look intimidating. “I’ll hex you into next week! I know spells, you know!”
James bit his lip, trying not to laugh as Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What spells?”
“Spells!” you repeated, waving your hands in the air as if that was a valid explanation. “Dangerous ones!”
Peter snorted. “I’m terrified.”
Sirius held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright! Merlin, you’re scary when you’re drunk.”
“Good,” you said, immediately softening. “Because I love you guys, even though Sirius is a poodle, and Remus won’t laugh at my jokes, and Peter—well, Pete, you’re just so cute, aren’t you?”
“Thanks,” Peter mumbled.
Tears welled up in your eyes, and you reached out, pulling all of them into a big, awkward group hug. “I just love you guys, okay? Don’t leave me… ever.”
James chuckled, his hand warm on your back. "Alright, let's get you to bed, yeah?"
“I don’t wanna go to bed,” you pouted, leaning into James like a rag doll. “I wanna stay here and annoy Sirius more.”
“I’m not listening to this nonsense,” Sirius huffed, throwing his hands up.
“Oh, but Sirius—don’t you wanna cuddle like a big, fluffy dog?” you teased, blinking innocently.
He narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to regret this in the morning.”
James stood up, pulling you gently with him. “C’mon, love, you’re barely standing.”
“Wait, no, no, no—you're all amazing, even you, Remus, boring and all.” You paused, eyes widening as if you had just realized something horrible. “Wait—don’t ever leave me, guys.”
Your lower lip started to wobble.
“Don’t leave me! You can’t! What if you just disappeared? Poof! Gone! And I’m all alone. I’ll die. I’ll actually die.”
James squeezed your hand, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “I think you’re driving everyone mad, love.”
You looked up at him, beaming. “But not you, right, Jamie?” you gushed, running your fingers through his messy hair, making it even worse. “You’re perfect, James Potter. Like… a Quidditch god! And your glasses are so… shiny.”
Sirius fake gagged. “Ugh, I’m gonna be sick.”
“Shush, poodle!” you shot back at him, your words blending together into a cute mess of slurs. “You’re just jealous ‘cause James is my shiny glasses boy.”
Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fond smile tugging at his lips. Peter was full-on laughing now, while James was just gazing at you, completely smitten.
You huffed but allowed him to help you stand. “You’re the best, James,” you said, leaning heavily on him as he started to guide you toward the stairs.
“You’re pretty great yourself,” James chuckled, tightening his grip on your waist so you wouldn’t stumble.
Just before you reached the dormitory, you stopped, looking up at him with bleary eyes. “No, really, Jamie. You’re the best. Don’t ever change.”
James grinned down at you, his heart melting a little. “I won’t, love. Now let’s get you to bed before you start threatening to hex me too.”
You smiled sleepily, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “I’d never hex you. You’re too pretty.”
And with that, you were out, leaving James with a fond smile and the rest of the Marauders shaking their heads behind him.
Downstairs, Sirius was still sulking. “A poodle… unbelievable.”
i love drunk!reader so much!!
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from gas to solid | charles leclerc
summary: charles’ girlfriend brings him home to munich for octoberfest. chaos ensues
pairing: charles leclerc x german!reader
warnings: implied alcohol consumption
yourusername just posted!!
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yourusername 🍻
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charles_leclerc I am very berry dwunk
-> yourusername oh my god charles you are too drunk to be on the internet rn. baby, give me your phone
joristrouche please tell me why there is a video circulating on tiktok of Charles dancing on a table in lederhosen?
-> yourusername theres WHAT
-> carlossainz55 yeah you gotta see it. its the funniest thing ive seen all week
charles_leclerc marry me
scuderiaferrari someone sounds like hes having a little too much fun?
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yourusername and charles_leclerc just posted!
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yourusername munich, ich liebe dich forever <3
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arthurleclerc i see someone finally got down from the tables
-> charles_leclerc they had issues with my rendition of 'sweet caroline'
-> yourusername your 99 luftballons was pretty bad too
yourbestie he's fun let's bring him on trips more often!
-> yourusername ooooh do you think he'll like tyrol?
charles_leclerc the lederhosen stays ON during sec
-> yourusername yourbrother oh my god did you let him have ANOTHER heineken?
user yn chasing a drunken charles around the octoberfest events is soooo fucking funny guys
fredvasseur please make sure my driver doesn't end up with alcohol poisoning
-> yourusername im doing my best fred, i really am. our boy has a mind of his own
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