#this whole establishment is a fucking circus

[triple-mayday]

There’s hella theories floating around about the reason behind Tucker Carlson’s sudden divorce with Fox News, but there’s one that I love the most.

Its the sexiest, pettiest, most delicious bullshit to ever be conceived. Behold:

We know for a fact that Tucker got bitch slapped across New York City by Rupert Murdoch himself. Not only that, but baby boy was laid off sometime on Friday and notified only on Monday, when he came to work. So, this unforeseen development was like a kick in the balls. For the uninitiated, Rupert Murdoch is the name of the demonic entity responsible for the creation of Fox News.

Tuckerson and Rupert had a special relationship. According to Tucker himself, the now ex-host was “100% [Rupert’s] bitch” (we love a proud sugar baby). Tucker was basically a glorified court jester - he cosplayed for daddy Rupert as a pro-worker, anti-elitist, anti-establishment, Christian, relatable everyman that broke republicans could relate to. That was, of course, a load of horseshit. As said by Tucker himself.

You see, back in Mesozoic Era (circa 2008-2011), our boy was an active participant in shock radio programs where he paraded himself as an open and proud elitist and a self-admitted trust fund baby.

All of this deliciousness speaks for itself. Tucker Carlson is a chameleon that changes his face depending on what’s resonating best with his conservative audience. Which brings us to the nearly orgasmic culmination of events that could have possibly led to Tucker’s current unemployment.

Tuck roleplayed as a hardcore Christian for quite some time. On that fateful Friday night, he turned it up to 100 for his speech at the conservative think tank Heritage Foundation’s 50th anniversary gala. Bubba was popping off, calling abortions “child sacrifices” and demanding daily prayers. The audience loved it. Rupert? Not so much.

The thing is, for Rupert business comes before fascism. Grandpa worships money, Jesus is merely a profitable business strategy. For a businessman, the rabid fundie shit was already incredibly off-putting. And Tucker’s villain monologue just happened to be the last drop in the bucket that was already filled to the brim by Murdoch’s ex. That’s right. The chair of Fox News broke off his recent engagement because his fiancée was a Jesus freak.

Now onto the good shit. Rupert’s ex had a favorite show. Guess what that show was?

Tucker Carlson Tonight

The woman in question even had tête-à-tête chit chats with her favorite TV personality, thanks to her connection to Fox News CEO.

Tensions were rising in the Murdoch household. The ex-fiancée’s obsession with Tucker only added fuel to the fire. The woman went as far as declaring that Carlson was a messenger from God. One day, Tucker had a dinner at his boss’ estate. In the middle of dinner the Jesus lady pulled out a Bible and began discussing the book of Exodus with Carlson.

Rupert just sat there like 👁️👄👁️

In the end, the man was too freaked out by Christian fundamentalism and kicked Tucker out after his particularly awful speech. It was also a cute little fuck you to his ex cause now her favorite show got canceled

This is just one theory, but it’s my favorite, so I prefer it above all else, and now you get to experience this beauty with me

God, I adore American politics

[lacroixqueen]

sparks fly - deadpool x fem!reader

Summary: deadpool has been stalking reader who works at a diner. he ends up hatching a diabolical plan to get reader's attention

Pairing: fem!reader x deadpool

Word Count: 1.3k

Wade knew he was obsessed with you from the moment he laid eyes on you. 

It was a dark, rainy night in the city, and you were closing shift at the diner. You liked closing shift. Especially on weeknights like this when it was generally pretty quiet. You were placing dirty plates and utensils into the bus tub when you heard what you swore to be shattering dishes from the back of the kitchen. 

Your back stiffened as you peered over your shoulder to the shadowy, unlit part of the restaurant. 

“Hello..?” you called out carefully. 

Silence.

You carried on with your tasks for the remainder of the evening, unsure exactly of what you heard but too terrified to investigate. 

He was already watching you this entire time. He admired the subtle curve of your waist. How your apron tied around your hips in an adorable little bow. The way your thigh-high stockings dug ever so slightly into your skin. 

He knew that sneaking into this rinky dink little dinner to spy on some random girl he found somewhat attractive off of a split second impression was.. reckless to say the least. But recklessness has never stopped him before. 

Wade stationed himself next to the dishwasher, staying still as a statue until you turned around the corner.

“Boo,” he said without so much as a care in the world.

You screamed, of course, and instinctively threw your entire tray of plates at him. “What the fuck!”

“What the fuck is right!” he answered gleefully, effortlessly brushing the completely filled bus tub to the side, not even flinching as even more silverware crashed into the ground. “And you are actually in big trouble! Like biiiiig trouble. This entire diner, and probably all the buildings around it are going to be incinerated within the next.. 5 minutes? So if I were you, I would leave everything behind and follow me while you still have the chance.”

You watched as the diabolical man in what you could only describe as some sort of BDSM gimp suit pantomimed every single word that came out of his month with a bravado of a world renowned circus performer. 

“And.. who are you exactly?” you asked, folding your arms across your chest and raising your eyebrow. 

“Deadpool. Spelled like dead and pool,” he replied confidently, sticking his hand out.

“Uh huh,” you said, allowing him to shake your limp wrist. In your mind you were calculating the fastest way to reach the store phone to dial 9-11. “What a.. pleasure.”

“So.. you are coming with me,” he established. “As in, I am going to take you away from this building. Because it is about to blow up. There is a bomb some psycho what’s his face planted in the basement and you are way too pretty to die this young, so I am just going to have to rescue you right here right now.”

“You- what?” you stammered out, but before you could even muster another word, the mercenary had already swept you off your feet bridal style. “Hey! Put me down. Right now.”

“Yeah, sorry that’s not really gonna be an option sweetheart,” Wade snapped back with a wit as sharp as a knife. “Oh, and look at the time! Only one more minute left.”

And with those words, he quickly darted out the back door of the diner into a dingy alleyway. You reflexively wrapped your arms around his neck, taking note of how sturdy his arms felt underneath your legs. 

“Whatever you do,” you whispered through gritted teeth. “Don’t. Drop me.” 

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Wade chirped as he scurried down the avenue, maneuvering around a sharp corner. “You’re precious cargo, and besides, the whole point of this entire stunt was-”

Before he could even finish his sentence, you heard a loud “boom”, now realizing you were miles away from the diner you were just at. You felt the ground shake under Wade’s feet, and a gust of warm wind blowing from the explosion site. 

You gazed over Deadpool’s shoulder, and gasped as you watched the distant part of the city being engulfed in flames. 

“You.. you saved my life..” you murmured. “H-how did you even..”

“Well, if I were to lie, and we all know I am very good at that,” the assassin began. “I would say it was sort of a right place right time sort of situation. As in I was just innocently strolling around the block when I noticed a big bad evil villain, aka my arch nemesis plant a little, let’s just call it grenade downstairs. So, I, being the upstanding citizen that I am, decided to walk right in and save the day. Yay! Let’s just go with that.”

“And if you were to be honest?” you challenged, untangling yourself from his arms and stepping down onto the sidewalk. You realized since you were in a slightly calmer state of mind, and actually standing face-to-face to him under the streetlight, that he was literally towering over you by at least a head. 

“Hmm, you got me there princess,” he capitulated. “If I were being real, I would say the part about me being in the right place at the right time was true.”

“Go on,” you chided, beginning to rub the middle of your forehead. You could already feel that this was not about to end well.

“Buuuuut, you were just too cute. I really had no idea how to approach you. So, the most logical conclusion was to throw a wrench into the sink, or should I say a bomb into your diner, and time it perfectly so I could sneak in, pull you aside, and er, get you outta there? And here we are. Ta-daaaa!” he embellished the ending of the entire debacle with jazz hands, as if he was telling a casual story to a group of friends. 

“You.. are unbelievable!” you shouted, pushing him against his chest, and not really causing enough force to have him step back. “What kind of sick, twisted joke is this?!” You threw a punch against him with every single word. “You really thought this would be the way to get my attention? Instead of, oh, I don’t know, just coming up to me and striking up a conversation like a normal fucking person?”

“Cute, very cute. Adorable,” Deadpool commented as he watched you attempt to hurt him, almost as if he were observing an unfamiliar specimen in the wild. “God, you are so cute.”

“That’s all you have to say?!” you cried. “After blowing up part of the city? You are a psychopath.”

“Eh, not even wrong,” he shrugged. “Nowadays I even take that as a compliment.”

“I-I’m gonna call the police!” you ultimately decided, whipping out your cell phone from your back pocket. 

“Oh, no no no I would not do that,” Wade said, effortlessly grabbing the device from your hand and texting his phone before you could notice. “Just.. they aren’t a big fan. Of me.”

“You think?!” you seethed. “God. You are insane. You know that?” You stood up on your tippy toes, trying to take your phone back. 

Wade eventually relented, motioning to hand it back to you before you snatched it out of his hand. 

“And never speak to me again,” you shot back at him as you walked in the opposite direction. 

“So does that mean I can pick you up at 7 tomorrow?” the assassin called after you. “I know a really nice place downtown.. er, wait that might have been blown up.”

You stormed off without another word, self-assured that this would be the last you would ever see of him. But you were sorely mistaken. 

[thefanficmonster]

Reader being jealous of Carmen and Sydney

Oooh I love that idea, dear! Hope you enjoy 💕

Pairing: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Smoking, Swearing, Minor SPOILERS for The Bear (S2)

Genre: Fluff, Humor, Romance

The regular hustle and bustle of people making their way home from work has taken over Chicago now that the clock has passed 3 PM. Although sounds of chaos have been rattling the establishment since the hollow ungodly hours of the morning. Shouting bouncing off the walls, shit breaking, Fak and Richie being Fak and Richie. And all you've been trying to do is difuse the situation.

Sugar needs a break, as she very clearly told you with a single glance from across the room. You gave her a nod and let her close herself off in her office to take a breather while you took over keeping the circus in a somewhat straight line.

Currently, you're on your hands and knees, scraping all the debris and dirt that's gotten on the new tiles while the rest of the repairs were still taking place. You warned Carmy the tiles would look far from new if they were the first thing he chose to replace but he still stubbornly put his foot down on the matter. And now he realizes he shot himself in that same foot, giving you an apologetic look from where he's standing.

"Quit staring, Berzatto. Do your job." You scoff, continuing your task with a newfound aggression that threatens to take out the whole tile not just the stain.

You've been blowing him off and avoiding him all day - quite the abnormality since arguing with him is to you what a cup of coffee is to other people. A day for you ain't right unless it starts with a disagreement with him. To be fair, it still is a fight, just a silent one. It all but guarantees you a win when he can't even defend himself, oblivious to how he could've pissed you off in the first place.

"Why are you being mean?" It irritates you, that tone of amusement to his voice. He's entertained, he's fucking enjoying himself.

"I'm always mean." You reply without even sparing him a glance. Your point is accentuated when you hit Richie's knee with your free hand just as he starts getting rowdy with Fak. He yelps, scowling down at you before lifting his arms up in surrender. "See?"

Looking up, you see Carmy is no longer in his previous spot. Instead, he's knelt down a couple feet away from you, a scraping tool of his own in hand. "Oh I see just fine, Chef."

Your skin flushes with heat as you try to curb your annoyance - how is the fucker winning an argument he doesn't even know he's entered. "Not well enough as it would seem." You tap the stain he'd scraped at once or twice before moving on to the next, "This doesn't look clean to me, Chef." The amount of bitterness and sass compacted into that single word is almost palpable in the air between you two.

"Alright, that's it." He says, exasperated, dropping the tool and getting to his feet. He dusts his knees before offering you a hand, "Cigarette, now."

You don't budge, still at the stain you've been struggling with for the past five minutes, "I'm busy. Ask Syd."

At that, Carmen has the audacity to straight up laugh. That's' what pushes you to reach your boiling point. You look up to tell him the fuck off just to have the tool swiftly stolen from your grasp, "Hey!"

"Cigarette, Chef. Now." His eyebrows are raised, giving you an earnest look that is meant to pull at the strings of your apperhension. He's not dumb, he can see you're particularly ticked off today. He can also take an accurate guess as to why. But he sure as hell isn't about to have that talk in front of Dumb and Dumber. Not that they'd pay you two much mind considering they've entered another screaming match but still - they have a tendency of paying attention when one would least want them to.

You feel like a child being scolded for throwing a tantrum. The only reason you oblige and stand up is to preserve your own pride. You make a point of not taking the offered hand, getting to your feet yourself and dusting off the pants of your overalls that have now been decorated with a lot of dust.

Contant is still established when Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the back door and out in the alleyway. To be frank, here, it's not like you tried to wiggle free from his grasp but that's semantics at this point.

He plucks a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, taking two out. He traps one between his lips before extending the other to you.

You're not a regular smoker but you also don't turn it down when you're offered one. Especially not when you're stressed. With that taken into consideration, despite Carmen being the root of your stress at the moment, you still accept the offer and reach up for the cigarette.

Much to your annoyance, however, he snatches it away before you can take it.

Your hand balls up in a fist as you glare daggers and any other sharp objects at his smug expression. With a shake of his head and a fucking chuckle he offers it again, hoping you got the memo this time around.

The only reason you cave is just so you can put an end to this back-and-forth. So, despite your better judgement you bite the bullet and lean in, taking the cigarette between your lips.

It brings a smile to his face that you happily smack off had you not been at work at the moment. Instead, you focus your gaze on the flame he flicks on and inches closer to the cherry of your cigarette.

You take a long drag, inhaling the smoke with relief. It doesn't last long though since Carmen just has to open his mouth again.

"I'll ask you again - why are you being mean?" He lets out a cloud of smoke in the air, once more exhibiting exasperation you believe he has no right to feel.

Your jaw is set and so are your narrowed eyes as you follow suit - releasing the nicotine from your lungs, "And I'll tell you again - I'm always mean. I'll do you one better - why are you wasting time? We've got a lot of shit to do and we gotta do it in a very short fucking time and you're here taking smoke breaks! Sugar is losing her mind, Fak and Richie are gonna kill each other, Cicero is breathing down our necks, Syd is counting on you..."

"And you're not?" He cuts you off, the smugness now long gone from his features.

One hand rests on your hip while the other brings the cigarette back to your lips, "That doesn't matter."

You're almost satisfied to see the irritation you've been feeling all day now take hold of him, "Like hell it fucking doesn't."

Rolling your eyes, you flick your wrist to check your watch, "You should get going. Don't you have a menu consultation with Syd?" You mumble around the tobacco stick in your mouth, avoiding his gaze entirely now that you've lost all sense of subtlety to your anger.

If he were to ask you point blank if you are jealous of his close partnership with Syd, you'd laugh. And it is indeed laughable when you factor in the knoledge of how disinterested she is in terms of Carmy outside of a work setting. But still there's that nagging little piece of shit voice in your head...

Before you know it, Carmy has discarded his cigarette and has closed the space between the two of you. One set of fingers tilt up your chin while the other plucks the cigarette from your mouth. You're given no time to argue before his lips crash into yours.

You kiss him back instinctively, your brain momentarily short-circuting and conveniently wiping all the anger from your system. It returns only briefly when Carmy pulls awat from you. "It can wait."

You reestablish your sass a second later, grounding yourself into the annoyed act once more, "Nope, none of that." You shake your head, taking a step back, "I can handle you being corny but not inefficient and irresponsible." You steal back your cigarette before waving him off, "Go on, shoo."

His bright blue eyes twinkle with amusement, crinkles appearing at their corners as his face is lit up by a smile, "Alright, alright." He mutters in defeat. Still, he manages to sneak a kiss at the corner of your lips before reentering the restaurant-to-be. He stops in the dorrway, turning around to face you, "We're doing a movie night tonight. For real, this time."

A small chuckle escapes you as you attempt to feign nonchalance with a shrug, "You said the same fucking thing last time."

He points a finger at you, giving you his word, in a way, "You'll see." With that, he disappears inside, leaving you to finish your cigarette alone and with the dorkiest smile adorning your face.

It turns into a full blown laugh at the thought of how offended Syd would be if she knew of that little spark of jealousy within you. Truthfully, you owe her an apology.

[flower-boi16]

Why Stolitz is Helluva Boss's Worst Plotline

I don't know how to start this post so I'll just get to the point; Stolitz sucks complete ass and is the worst part of the show. It used to be interesting in season 1 but no longer in season 2, here's why.

1. Stolitz in season 1 (and why it worked)

Let's establish the reason why Stolitz worked in season 1. As we all know, Stolitz is a toxic relationship, it always has been. Stolas only wanted to sleep with Blitz and nothing else, to get all sexual with him and stuff....

And that's why it worked, Stolitz was in an intentionally toxic relationship, and the show treated it as such as seen in Ozzie's, where Blitz tells Stolas he doesn't want to sleep with him anymore. This was an interesting conflict and a lot of people were excited to see where season 2 would take Stolitz going forward after this. How was it going to resolve this conflict? There was a lot of potential...that season 2 has completely destroyed.

2. The Circus Ruins Everything (and here's why)

Now we move onto the season 2 premiere, The Circus, and hooo boy this is where the problems with this relationship begin to show themselves, as we encounter the first problem with Stolitz; Viv trying to retcon her way out of making Stolitz not toxic. The Circus makes the bizarre writing choice of making Blitz and Stolas childhood friends...

This writing decision sucks ass, here's why. Ok, first of all, let's get this out of the way first; this is a retcon. Stolas and Blitz being childhood friends and Stolas loving Blitz all along does not at all line up with any of their interactions throughout season 1, the point of their relationship in season 1 was that Stolas was the only part of Blitzo that Stolas was interested in was his dick and nothing else, this ignores that in favor of painting Blitz and Stolas as UwU childhood friends while forgetting all of their interactions in season 1.

Second of all, it's entirely unnecessary. Nothing about Blitz and Stolas's dynamic changes if you remove this and just have them fall in love as adults. Third, as a previous anon had already pointed out, making Blitz and Stolas childhood friends actually makes Stolas look worse because he's treating his childhood friend like a sex toy rather than a person. We'll get to this later but a major problem with Stolitz is the fact that the show tries to portray Stolas as the UwU sad soft boy victim and ignore how he treats Blitz in favor of making him and UwU soft boy.

The Circus is merely the beginning of that; the show is now starting to try and retcon its way out of making Stolitz not toxic by portraying as a UwU sweet childhood friendship all the while forgetting the actual point of the relationship to begin with. Don't worry, because hoooo boy let's talk about the next problem with Stolitz in season 2 that being...

3. The Feud in Ozzies (and its resolution)

So y'all would know that Stolas and Blitz had a fight at the end of Ozzies, right? Well this is where we enter the second problem with Stolitz; the events of Ozzie's go completely ignored. The next time Blitz and Stolas have an onscreen interaction is the second episode of season 2, Seeing Stars (Aka the only decent episode in this whole season). The two interact and...they just go along like nothing happened. As if they didn't have an argument at the end of season 1. People clearly noticed this and were confused as to why these two were just playing along as if the events of Ozzie's never happened...

Well guess what, episode 4, Western Energy, actually resolves the conflict the two had... off-screen...with a blink and you'll miss it text message. This was the moment I had officially lost my patience with this stupid season. It's just SO damn insulting. So you wanted to see where they could take this plotline after Ozzie's? How could Blitz and Stolas develop and resolve their conflict? Hehe well too fucking bad how about we just pretend that didn't happen and then resolve it with a fucking text message.

This is such a lazy and underwhelming way to resolve a conflict, it feels like Viv didn't know where to take Stolitz after season 1 so she just decided to give their feud an underwhelming resolution that unless you directly pause you would miss. So, the feud Blitz and Stolas had at the end of Ozzie's is completely forgotten about and then resolved off-screen, so fuck you to anybody who was excited to see where they went with this plot line I guess. Now that we have that out of the way...let's talk about the next problem with Stolitz;

4. Blitz's demonization

So season 1 ended with Blitz making it crystal clear to Stolas that he is deeply upset about their relationship only being about having sex with each other, so it's very clear that given how Stolas has been acting towards Blitz, he is the victim and Stolas is the abuser, so, therefore, Blitz is in the right for not loving Stolas given their interactions with each other throughout the whole season...

Ya well watch as season 2 just completely ignores that and tries to paint Blitz as the one in the wrong for not loving Stolas. This is where we enter the next problem with Stolas; treating Blitz as if he is in the wrong for not loving Stolas (or not believing that Stolas does genuinely love him). Stolas has been treating Blitz as nothing but a sex toy throughout all of season 1 and yet the show wants us to believe that BLITZ is in the wrong here??

Episode 6 Oops is where this problem really shows itself. I already ranted about this episode before, however the cage scene where Blitz and Fizz talk about their sex life is indicative of Viv trying to make Blitz look like the bad guy because Stolas did some nice things for him... off-screen. Talk about telling instead of showing. Like I said in that post, it feels like a retcon; we never saw Stolas do any of these nice things for Blitz and that doesn't even line up with his behavior in season 1.

It's also just...lazy. Viv couldn't be bothered to actually SHOW Stolas doing these nice things for Blitz so she just TELLS us that Stolas did all of these things for him so Blitz could look bad. However, it falls flat because once again, it's told to us, not shown. AND EVEN IF we accept that Stolas did do all of these nice things for Blitz, THAT STILL DOESN'T EXCUSE HIS TREATMENT OF HIM!!!

So the show wants us to see Blitz as the bad guy for the crime of not loving Stolas because he treated him like a toy rather than a person, but Blitz is NOT in the wrong for acting this way at all yet the show paints him as the bad guy anyway. The show is basically saying that a victim is in the wrong for getting mad at their abuser for abusing them.

"But Blitz took advantage of his childhood friend!" Yes, Blitz was an asshole, but so was Stolas, yet the show acts as if Blitz is 100% the bad guy and Stolas is 100% an innocent soft boy. Speaking of Stolas...

5. Stolas is terrible

So Stolas is terrible, plain and simple. He is very toxic and abusive to Blitz as I've already gone over. However, for some reason, rather than framing Stolas as the abuser he is, Season 2 opts to instead frame him as an UwU soft boy who supposedly did nothing wrong. This is less of a problem with Stolitz and more with Stolas's character as a whole; the show portrays Stolas as an UwU sad Owl boy and we're supposed to sympathize with him despite him not being a great person.

And Stolitz is where this issue shows itself the most. Season 2 never portrays Stolas as in the wrong for how he treated Blitz in Season 1, instead trying woobify him and simply turning around and saying "oh Stolas just wants a friend! He genuinely does love Blitz! Why doesn't Blitz love him back?!". We clearly are not supposed to see Stolas as the abuser here, however, no matter how you slice it Stolas IS the abuser in this relationship.

And so far the show has never made him apologize to Blitz for how he treated him nor has it tried to make him better himself for Blitz. And it seems like Viv has tried to make Stolas look better in episode 6 with the scene where Blitz says that Stolas did all these nice things for him, but once again it's ineffective because it was off-screen. And once again the decision to make him and Blitz childhood friends ties directly back into this because as I've already said, it makes Stolas look far worse because he's treating his own childhood friend like a sex toy, despite how much the show wants to convince us that Stolas is just an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong and just wants a friend, and no matter how much the show will demonize Blitz, I can not feel bad for Stolas because he's the abuser, not Blitz.

Stolas is just incredibly unlikeable and hard to sympathize with, especially when it comes to this relationship. "But Stolas genuinely loves Blitz!"- putting aside the fact that was also a retcon, even if Stolas genuinely loves Blitz, that doesn't somehow mean that how Stolas treats Blitz is ok. Despite how much the show wants us to convince us that Blitz is the bad guy here and Stolas is just a victim, Stolas is an abuser, there is absolutely NO denying it.

But what if I told you there is a piece of HB content that exemplifies this issue the most? Well...I promised y'all I'd analyze this video so...without further ado...

6. Let's Tear Apart the "Just Look My Way" music video

The second I finished watching this music video, I KNEW that I had to talk about it in this post. Why exactly? Well aside from it being the worst piece of HB content I have ever seen, it's also...a stolitz song. It shows off the issue of Stolas being woobified in season 2 greatly. In this section, I'm going to analyze the lyrics in the song while explaining why this song is the culmination of my biggest issues with this stupid ship. This entire song is about Stolas singing about how sad he is that Blitzy doesn't love him 🥺, and it is SO telling that this is the message the song is going for given the lyrics like this:

"Let me hold you, keep you close to me I long to hear your voice"

"I don't care that you're of lower station Or primed to sate my dark temptations Why can't you understand? Let me explain!"

These lyrics scream "Blitzy why don't you love me!!!". But that's contrasted by lyrics like...this;

"But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice"

"I will try to make amends For making you means to an end So, look my way, please, look my way"

This actually sounds like Stolas apologizing to Blitz for how he treated him, which is exactly what I wanted...but the rest of the lyrics are just Stolas saying "Blitzy why don't you love me!!!". It's once again choosing to victimize Stolas rather than actually framing him as the abuser he is. This entire song is the most melodramatic emotionally manipulative shit I've ever seen, it once again portrays Stolas as an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong and just wants someone to love him.

"But Viv didn't write the lyrics!" For those who don't know, Just Look My Way was a fan song that Viv and her team decided to animate as well as make Stolas's voice actor sing. And yes, Viv did not write this song, a fan did, however my issue is that within the context of the rest of the show up until this point, these lyrics do not do any favors for this ship. And I feel like Viv chose this specific song just so she could make Stolas look like a UwU soft boy again. There's also the fact that Viv changed some of the lyrics as well, removing the little impish plaything line and the one talking about Octavia.

This could be done to make the song closer to canon...but there's also a possibility that Viv did this so she could NOT acknowledge Stolas's actual faults and make the song entirely about Stolitz. This post summed it up pretty well.

So conclusion; Just Look My Way is an awful music video that is horrifically bad when It comes to the context of this relationship and once again tries to make Stolas look sympathetic when he really isn't. This is not how you make a sympathetic character guys. Now let's talk about the final issue with Stolitz...

7. It's Just Plain Toxic

This is the biggest reason why I (and many other critics) dislike Stolitz; it's just plain toxic. It's a toxic ass ship where the abuser is portrayed as the victim while the victim is framed as the abuser, and where the abuser has never gone to better himself for the victim, yet the show wants us to root for this couple to get together for some reason despite that. The show constantly paints this an UwU cute childhood friendship when it's anything BUT that in reality. It's toxic, plain and simple.

8. Conclusion

Look, if you like or ship Stolitz, that's fine, I didn't make this post because I wanted people to stop shipping it. I made this post because I believe Stolitz is easily the worst part of the show, it's a horribly written toxic and abusive romance that we are supposed to root for and the fact that people DEFEND this ship despite it being OBJECTIVELY toxic and unhealthy is baffling to me.

So ya, that's why I hate Stolitz...bye.

[tgmsunmontue]

From the top 1/? (WIP)

IceMav, (eventual) Explicit, (background Hangster who are already established). Set post-TGM. (No dead Ice obviously).

Featuring not-mistaken identities (where they (Ice and Mav) pretend to be in the dark for REASONS), Ice is Jake's Uncle Tom, Mav is Bradley's Dad, everyone knows everyone, (un)requited love, coming out as an older person, and a little bit of a circus-vibe where Ice has a horrible realization that this is indeed his circus and these are also his monkeys.

An AU where Mav married Carole and adopted Bradley to make things easier legally. A USNA Bradley who has been very careful to separate Dad/Pete from godfather/Maverick. They had an argument prior to TGM, but it was around Maverick being careless with his life (RE: Darkstar because Bradley got the call that Maverick was missing, presumed dead). So it was about risk taking and thinking while flying, so that was happening and Bradley admits to the Dagger Squadron that Maverick is his godfather and they have a ‘complicated relationship’ which isn’t a lie per se, however it’s… complicated.

                He and Bradley haven’t reached the stage yet where they’ve met any of each other’s family. They haven’t even introduced each other to their friends as boyfriends yet, and their circle of friends overlap. And he’s okay with that. More than okay actually. Doesn’t quite know how he’d broach the whole by the way I’m sort of related to the COMPACFLT through my mom conversation. He’s close with Tom now, closer than he is to any of his mom’s other cousins that’s for sure. Idolized him when he was young, and now also holds a deep-rooted respect and affection for the man. It had also helped knowing he had someone to look to as a role model, someone who was gay in the Navy and got so high up no-one could do anything to him now. Jake wanted that. Badly.

                But he also kind of wants his Uncle Tom to be happy. Although, hell, for all he knew he could have had a secret lover all these years. If anyone could keep it hidden it’s Uncle Tom, face quiet and impassive, unmoving and unflinching. He’d really hoped for a callsign half as cool as Iceman, and even if Uncle Tom jokes that he does have a literal half with man, he wishes he didn’t have the connotations of Hangman, even if it’s because of fucking song lyrics he was forever quoting and now twisted into something that make people assume things before they even know him.

                Not that he really has that problem now, with the Dagger Squadron being made a permanent detachment and with them all knowing each other so well now. They know he’s got their backs when it actually comes down to it. And he likes being based where his Uncle Tom is, because while he’s meant to be based in Hawaii they’ve made some concessions due to his cancer treatment. He knows their entire family is grateful, not least his Aunty Sarah. God, he knows it’s the high of surviving a literal suicide mission but life feels so good right now. He’s expecting Bradley to turn up any minute, they’ve got plans for dinner and a movie and then sex, not necessarily in that order.

                When he opens his door and Rooster is there, he can’t help the little happy swoop his insides do and he lets Bradley kiss him hello.

                “Hi.”

                “Hi. How are you?”

                “Good. Little annoyed… my dad is talking about getting back together with an ex…”

                “Is this the ex you like, or don’t like?”

                “You can safely bet money that it’s nearly always an ex I don’t like. I don’t think he’s ever had a relationship with anyone I’ve actually liked… shit that’s depressing.”

                “Maybe you just have really high standards for him?”

                “You mean unlike for myself, where my standards are really low?”

                “Hey!”

                They end up play-wrestling which quickly morphs into not-play making-out and yeah, the sex comes before dinner but he was sort of banking on that, making food that would be perfectly fine just staying warm in the oven. They end up curled around each other on the sofa, queuing up a movie and Jake asks about his day. Listens as Bradley talks about going out to Maverick’s hangar to work on the plane, having lunch with his dad and he wonders if Maverick has met Bradley’s step-dad. Obviously he must have, he’s been around even longer, although it must be weird to have two people called Pete wandering around, he guesses that’s why Bradley calls Maverick Maverick, and his step-dad dad. Stops the confusion.

                He knows Maverick and Bradley had a falling out of some sort, they’d been very angry with each other. He figured out that Maverick flew with Bradley’s dad, was the pilot when his dad died, and he’d thought it had been that. But then Bradley had dropped the bombshell that Maverick was his godfather and they’d had a fight over something he can’t talk about, but they would be fine. So Jake hasn’t pushed wanting to also hang out with Maverick, because when Bradley talks about the P-51 and the hangar his fingers itch but he gets Bradley wanting to mend bridges with his godfather.

                More than that though he wants to meet Bradley’s step-dad, doesn’t understand Bradley’s reticence about introducing them. It’s not like he’s going to care. But they’ve only been doing this, whatever it is, for a couple of weeks, which he guesses is early days, but with everything they’ve gone through in the last couple of months it also feels like several lifetimes. Then again, he’s in no rush to introduce Bradley to Uncle Tom, so maybe it’s for the best they wait a few weeks. Or months.

                “You still thinking about your dad?”

                “Yeah. I just need to get him seeing someone else. Anyone to take his mind off getting back with Georgia. Or any of his exes for that matter. Georgia especially is… well. I have no idea what she gets out of sleeping with Dad. She’s anti military for a start.”

                “The fact that she gets to sleep with him?”

                “Ew, gross…”

                “Maybe she thinks she can convert him to a non-military life one blowjob at a time…”

                “You could try that on me you know, see if you can convince me to do something with a blowjob…”

                “Don’t think I need the promise of a bj to convince you to do anything,” Jake says with a grin. “You know, my uncle Tom is gay, maybe we could set them up? Well, assuming your dad swings both ways?”

                “Huh. Yeah… He does. Keeps that pretty much on the down-low, very much on a need to know basis. Pretty sure I only know because I saw him trying to sneak a guy out when I was seventeen. Did make me feel safer about coming out to him myself though.”

…            …            …

                “Jake, I am not installing Grindr on my phone, work, personal or otherwise.”

                “Thought you might say that, so I bought you a burner. Well, please don’t actually burn it, but you know what I mean.”

                “Jake…” Tom lets out an exasperated sigh. “I wouldn’t burn it. I know what a burner is. I’m not an idiot. I just don’t want to go on a date…”

                “Okay, so you don’t actually have to go on a date. All my cards on the table. I’m using the app to introduce you to the step-dad of my… uh, a friend.”

                “A friend huh? Is this the same friend you won’t introduce to the family?”

                “Yes. The exact one. Anyway, I just want you to send him a couple of messages. Let’s say ten messages. After that you can go back to ignoring it, remove the battery from the phone and pretend it never happened. Okay?”

                “Will you let it go if I do this?”

                “I mean… yeah. I hope you make a friend or something, but he’s military as well, so you guys have something in common at least…”

                “Fine. But I want the name of your friend.”

                “No! You’ll just look him up.”

                “He’s Navy?”

                “No!”

                “He is! Good job.”

…            …            …

                “Bradley! Why is Grindr amongst my recently installed apps!”

                “I’m setting you up!” Bradley calls out, grabbing two beers to go with their takeout Chinese.

                “I don’t need setting up. I can find my own dates. I don’t need an app!”

                “Yes, you do. You can’t get back with Georgia just because you’re lonely. Look, I’m not going to make you swipe through dick-pics…”

                “Maybe I want to swipe through dick-pics!”

                “Mav, be serious! You just said you didn’t want the app!”

                “Seriously? You’re the one that installed Grindr on my phone.”

                “God, maybe this was an awful idea.”

                “Yeah, you think?”

                “Okay, give me a second,” Bradley mutters, rolling his eyes and pulling his own from his pocket and thumbing into his contacts.

                “Hi… how’s it going?” Jake asks, voice quiet, and he must still be at his Uncle’s house.

                “Not well. You think we can maybe just set them up with an app that blocks their numbers and then just let them talk that way?”

                “Can’t hurt to try… your dad resisting the Grindr approach too huh?”

                “So much. And I get it, HE’S REALLY OLD,” Bradley says, raising his voice while looking Mav dead in the eye.

                “Hey! I heard that!”

                “You were meant to!”

                He ignores the glare Mav shoots him and pokes his tongue out at the back of his head as he walks away.

                “Okay, let’s see what we can find. I’ll message you and let you know.”

                “Sure thing.”

                Fifteen minutes later Jake has sent him the information, an end-to-end encrypted messaging app, one which hides the number of the phone sending the message. It’s silent and has to be manually opened to check for notifications, which is very old-school but means there’s no potential odd sounding pings. The icon is a mundane looking tower symbol and he guesses that could mean anything.

                “Okay Mav – you need to give this guy a chance okay? Please?”

                “What’s in it for me?”

                “I will stop bothering you about… uh… your love life for six months?”

                “No deal. I want to meet the guy you just rang. Who’s he in all this?”

                “Uh… I guess he’s my boyfriend.”

                “Ooohhh… it’s new huh? You’re in that new loved-up stage where you want everyone around you to be in the same stage.”

                “Uh, I mean we’ve known each other for years, but we’ve recently… come to an arrangement.”

                “Is it boyfriends or friends with benefits?”

                “Well, we weren’t exactly friends before, so definitely closer to boyfriends I guess,” Bradley says, carefully skirting the fact that Mav actually already knows Jake quite well.

                “Great. I’ll send what, ten messages to this guy and then I get to meet your guy in two weeks.”

                “No! Three months. And twenty messages.”

                “You realize you can’t force me to do anything right? You have no bargaining power here?”

                “I know, but… for me?”

                “Ugh… sad cow eyes. Fine fine, put them away. I’ll message the guy. But I do want to meet your guy when you feel the timing is right.”

                “Yeah, of course.”

                God he hopes this works because he has no idea if Mav will like the fact he’s with Jake or not.

…            …            …

                They meet up every week when they’re both in the same place, and it’s been a treat these last few months, but also a trial. Usually the distance has been a unintended blessing, making his unfortunate case of unrequited love easier to ignore. When he was younger he’d thought it was just a crush, that it would just… fade away. Instead the opposite has happened, time and distance have hardened and solidified similar to how pressure and temperature turn limestone into marble his love for Maverick is a solid and unmoving object that is ever present. Every time Mav walks through his front door he has to fight the urge to enfold him in his arms and just hold him. Every time.

                “Did you ever want kids of your own?” Pete asks and Tom startles, looks across at him.

                “No. I have nieces and nephews and cousin’s kids coming out my ears. They’re enough trouble to be getting on with, without adding my own genes to the mix. Wasn’t ever going to happen anyway,” he tacks on, and he wonders if this, today, this moment, will be the time it twigs and Mav will ask what he means.

                “Too much trouble by half. Do you know what Bradley did the other day? Installed a dating app on my phone.”

                “What? Why would he do that?”

                “He thought I was considering getting back with Georgia for some reason.”

                “And you’re not?”

                “No. Anyway, he’s trying to set me up with someone. At least you don’t have to worry about that.”

                “You’d be surprised. My cousins kid bought me a phone, a burner phone, with a dating app installed on it.”

                “Oh yeah? Which one?”

                Tom swallows.

                Okay.

                No more subtle hints.

                It’s now or never.

                “Grindr.”

                He didn’t purposely wait for Mav to have a sip of his drink, but he still sprays it out across the coffee table, eyes bugging out and he can’t seem to look Tom in the eye and he feels his stomach start to sink.

                “You… ah… you know that app is for gay guys right?”

                “I’m aware.”

                Pete just stares at him and he wonders if this is it. The moment his best friend just gets up and walks out of his life.

                “You never told me.”

                “You never asked.”

                “Yeah well, there was a whole thing about not asking and not telling until about ten years ago so… sorry if I thought you’d have maybe mentioned it. Or at least… alluded to it.”

                “I did Pete. With something called subtlety. I know it’s not your strong suit, but I tried to leave it there in the open for you to pick up on. I’m only just… getting to the grips with the idea of being more out.”

                “Okay. Uh. Does anyone else know?”

                Tom snorts.

                “Yeah, my whole family for a start. Had to get them to stop trying to marry me off. Slider of course.”

                “Why of course? Why Slider?”

                “He’s known me for a very long time.”

                “I’ve known you for a long time.”

                He doesn’t want to mention that Slider figured it out, because he’s had to learn to be subtle, and his weak point has and will always be the man in front of him. And he can never let him know. Still, Mav sounds annoyed.

                “Slider figured it out. He’s too perceptive for his own good,” Tom mutters, because he’s also the one person who knows about his lifelong torch bearing.

                “Huh. Okay.”

…            …            …

                Tom locks the house up, Mav having left to go home after Tom had soundly beaten him at chess. He knows it isn’t one of Mav’s favorite games, that he really only plays to humor Tom and give them something to do while they talk… his brain is catching on something and it’s going to bother him until he figures it out. Pete. Playing chess simply to spend more time with him...

                He stops.

                Blinks.

                Pete had said Bradley had installed a dating app on his phone.

                Within a day of Jake giving him a phone with Grindr installed, which quickly morphed to a simple encrypted messaging service.

                He’s learnt to not ignore his gut and this is deeply suspicious with the coincidence.

                He wonders if Jake and Bradley are dating. The idea of that makes him smile, even if it’ll cause an administrative nightmare. He knows they know each other, they’re part of the same squadron and there are rules, however it wouldn’t surprise him at all if both Bradley and Jake decided that that particular rule was for other people.

                Wait.

                He suddenly needs to know which app it is exactly that Bradley installed and he has his phone in his hand ringing him before he even considers the time of night, or where Bradley might be right now.

                “Hey Uncle Ice… Everything okay?”

                “Hey Bradley. Sorry for the late call, Just, uh, Mav mentioned you installed a dating app on his phone. You mind telling me which one it was?”

                “Uh… Grindr. Why?”

                “Oh. No reason. Just curious Thanks. Have a good night.”

                Why would Bradley install Grindr.

                Maverick’s not gay.

                To his knowledge Maverick isn’t even bisexual. Or anything else that might imply he’s anything other than overwhelmingly heterosexual.

                Maverick didn’t say anything tonight when he learnt about Tom’s own sexuality.

                Maybe Bradley knows something Tom doesn’t.

                Scratch that.

                Bradley definitely knows something Tom doesn’t.

CHAPTER TWO

[libertatias]

hello, i am here to ask you about your clown yaoi hcs <3

a lot of these are based on an rp i did with a buddy of mine but here are some of my faves:

shanks has a box of letters he's never sent because buggy never answered his first one and shanks doesn't want to be a bother :(

(they're both idiots because buggy absolutely read it and wrote a reply but then ripped it up bc no!! he won't let shanks get the better of him!!)

toki taught them how to dance while they were on the oro jackson and after they finally get together post-timeskip, one of the first things they do is dance together the way toki taught them

buggy is immune to and from shanks' haki and always thought this was normal bc they were practically inseparable as kids so why tf would he be scared of shanks (it is not normal. no one can explain it)

(they swore a literal blood oath when they were like 10 that they would always be there for each other. shanks' haki recognizes a piece of itself in buggy. neither one of them is aware of this)

this also means shanks has never been able to sense buggy with observation haki, which absolutely terrified him when he first awakened it as a kid because he could feel everyone and everything too much too loud but not buggy, why couldn't he feel buggy

shanks' observation awakening also happened during the whole shiki shitshow at edd war so not only was there a HUGE STORM and buggy possibly drowning to worry about but so much death and anger and fear and he couldn't sense buggy in any of it

roger had to separate these wet kittens bc shanks was having a mild mental breakdown and buggy was not helping bc buggy has never understood the whole haki thing and shanks was so afraid buggy didn't feel anything about him bc buggy was the only quiet part of the storm but buggy was also safe and it was just a mess and a half until shanks' brain stopped exploding

so much of their miscommunication stems from the fact that shanks is absolutely garbage at reading buggy (and he can't even cheat with haki) and the fact that buggy always assumes shanks means something he doesn't (king of catastrophizing everything shanks says) — especially when he does actually know what shanks meant and can't deal with shanks being so brutally honest

eventually, once they're more established as an Actual Couple (or something close to it) they sort of stumble their way into experimenting with buggy's devil fruit power which results in what i like to call armsharing

buggy lets shanks borrow his arm and through a combination of like deliberately giving his will over to shanks and inexplicable haki nonsense (the intimacy of literally giving a piece of yourself to another person wholly and freely), shanks is able to control the arm, but buggy can still feel it as an extension of his body

while shanks is in control of the arm, he can also use haki on it (like hardening or what have you), but for the first time buggy can also feel shanks' haki (which feels so much like roger buggy almost loses it) and shanks, for the first time, can sense buggy's feelings

he still can't see buggy's aura tho bc it is, in fact, too enormous to be seen by looking directly at it but is radiating every feeling he's ever felt about shanks at full capacity

the first time they armshare shanks cries bc it's like he's seeing buggy for the first time with his eyes wide open and he can finally finally feel the immensely overwhelming love pouring off buggy in waves (that he always wanted to believe was there but never knew for sure)

it only works when shanks is borrowing the arm tho so as soon as buggy takes it back, haki immunity is reinstated :(

they get married post-canon and fuck off to live on a houseboat together until they have a kid and shanks panics bc he can't live at sea with two drowning risks who are also THEE most important ppl in his life

so they move back to karai bari and establish a real town there that isn't just circus tents and it's very cute and domestic but also mildly annoying for shanks bc croc and mihawk just never left and now croc is mayor i guess bc no one else wanted the job

their kid is named giacomo who they call their little jackpot or just jack for short

jack grows up and wants to be just like his dads and granddads and eventually apprentices in shipbuilding so he can build his own ship in homage to the oro jackson that he calls the oro jackpot

shanks and buggy and the rest of roger's surviving crew all have small pieces of the oro jackson that they've held onto all this time and they donate these pieces to the oro jackpot so roger will live on in that ship too

[litnerdwrites]

It's interesting how Nesta had to apologise for something she wasn't even in the wrong of doing while Rhys, who overreacted by threatening to kill her (for a mistake he made) and chasing her out of the city, did not have to. Especially, after it was canonically established by Feyre herself that he did not have the right to do that..

And for someone who claims to write about badass female mcs who crush patriarchy and choose the course of their own lives, shouldn't an apology scene for something in which a female's right to information on her own body was undermined be a fundamental part of the book?

I mean, she could add a bonus chapter about the characters in question fucking to make babies but had to keep the apology off-page? Weird.

The only somewhat sufferable part of the book was the scenes with the Valkyries and the smut (if you ignore the poor timing).

I don't know if it's my eldest daughter syndrome acting up but I feel strongly about this.

I agree completely. I won't deny that Nesta has some things to apologies for, but so does Rhysand, and Feyre and Mor. I'd even argue that the things the IC put her through negate the need for her to apologies, or at least makes it a little less urgent/important than the apologies she's owed. This is mostly due to the fact that Nesta's so-called crimes amount to a bad attitude (most on page examples of which are pretty understandable to me), and issues she had with Feyre in childhood. Meanwhile, the IC's actions are immature and ignorant at best, and extremely abusive at worst.

Honestly, I don't think any of them, much less Rhysand, see what they did as a mistake. If any of them did, they wouldn't have made her walk through those woods. Feyre would've demanded Nesta be brought back otherwise, but she didn't.

As for Rhysand, honestly the part where he hugged Nesta gave me ick. Especially when Nesta said he'd been acting like a brother the whole time because he hadn't. He abused her. He broke her down. He only showed any semblance of decency (even then it wasn't much) when she did something to benefit him.

Offering pity jobs for somebody else's sake without taking into account Nesta's strengths or passions into account isn't what a brother, or anybody who cares for her, would do. Staring at her like a circus attraction when she enters the room isn't something a brother would do. Forcing her to social events just to ignore her isn't something a brother would do. Financially abusing her, refusing to give her a salary for her work during the war, along with her inheritance, is not something a brother would do. Not caring for her wellbeing beyond how her sister feel's is not something a brother could do. I could go on.

I think, at the end of the day, this amounts to a simple fact. SJM clearly doesn't see anything wrong with the things she writes and narrative she creates. No matter how you argue that ACOSF is a healing story, not a redemption story, it doesn't matter. Through analysing the sext, the author clearly shows how she feels about Nesta. Looking at what she says about the book, the author clearly has little understanding of mental health, and hasn't done enough research on it to be able to write a healing arc that isn't straight up abuse/torture (seriously, the bar is in the crust of the earth).

ACOSF could've been the best book in the series. All of the material, the concepts, the potential was there. Nesta's story was set up in ACOFS, and perhaps I wouldn't have minded the actions of the IC as much (from a literary perspective anyway) if they had been acknowledged as wrong and the IC apologised. I don't think anyone would've minded the locked in the HOW plot either, if, at some point, the characters acknowledge how abusive it was. If the narrative itself acknowledged how messed up it was, and did something about it.

If Cassian apologised for abandoning her after the war, Cassian especially. If Feyre apologised for not trying to reach out in a way that Nesta was comfortable with. If Elain apologised for not being there for Nesta the way Nesta was for her. If Mor apologised for, intentionally or not, isolating Nesta from the rest of the court. If Amren apologised for her comments. If Rhys apologised for sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

Rhys apologising for the hike, or threatening to kill her would mean nothing because both he and the narrative don't see anything wrong with his treatment of her. If he did, then the forced training/library/stuck in the how part would've ended half way through the book.

The part that infuriates me the most, however, is that they don't see their wrong doings at all. They still think they're doing the right thing and that they know everything. It's messed up.

[aceinacloset]

Already making another post about SL REDUX?, yeah I want to talk about it again, this time about things I changed from Canon SL.

This stuff is important so make sure to read, mostly so I don't have to explain this too many times.

Anyway Let's begin.

1. Elizabeth and Circus Baby are two separate individuals, who are just sharing a body.

This isn't really a change as it seemed pretty apparent that they were two individuals, but FNAF 6 exists…so for the sake of my sanity I'm making this clear now.

Elizabeth in this Au is more of a poltergeist than a ghost haunting a suit. While Baby is just a self aware AI, whose self awareness was heightened by Elizabeth's death.

The other funtimes can see Liz (it's a whole saw it out of the corner of your eye situation) and Elizabeth was an active player in the events In SL by hijacking handunit and manipulating certain events to transpire a certain way. I hope this info is handy.

2. Sister locations map and FNAF 4’s map are no longer connected

I like fnaf 4 and sister locations in their own ways, specifically as separate locations not connected in Any way. Sadly, it seemed canon SL thought they should be connected and seemingly on TOP OF EACH OTHER!, so now I'm here…

I hate this whole thing because it was established on NIGHT 1 that this was an establishment opened after FNAF 1 closed, meaning it most likely has another establishment above for the actual entertainment part. So either Scott fucked up his own continuity on Night 2 of the same game, or the location isn't necessarily underneath the FNAF 4 house but in association with it or near by, but has the map looking like its directly under it-….*sigh* my head already hurts.

Anyway I hate it either way so no more FNAF 4 map.

Love FNAF 4, I just prefer it and SL being as separate as separate can be from one another. I think many FNAF 4 and/or FNAF SL fans can agree.

3. Elizabeth wants William dead

Ok ok it's not that simple, Elizabeth's view of William changes throughout, going from admiration, to a need to please, to fear (in the sense of looking at someone and just not knowing them anymore), to hatred, to just not caring anymore. Yeah a whole flow of feelings but yes Liz does want Afton dead.

4. Williams motivation

Ok I know technically we don't really know Aftons motivation whatsoever, or even if he has one. But it is touched upon here, it's shallow and selfish but there.

Honestly my favorite types of villain motivations to write are the Reprehensible but understandable (to a degree) and the selfish with surface level good intentions, which the second one is Williams in this Au.

His reasoning is dry and more a way to justify it for himself, and he constantly wants to feel above it all but in reality, he is sinking into the mud along with the rest of the suffering souls.

Also his care and love for his kids are also surface level and the bare minimum. This version of William is a dick.

5. I changed Night 4…

I hate that night, as simple as that. I know quite the tragedy, but it had to be done.

Ok, this is all with changes that aren't just add ons to canon.

Also any post about this Au will be tagged with the tag !fnaf sl redux!

-Jester 🤡

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished pt 23

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]

[Part 23/?? Word Count: 1857]

[CW: Drug abuse, addiction, gaslighting]

—————

Two weeks later, Blitzo sent another letter. It was thinner than the first. Barb gave it the same treatment, ‘RETURN TO SENDER’. The next one was even thinner, probably just one page in the envelope.

After she had that one sent back, he started sending postcards. Mostly they were generic landscape images from across the Rings. But not being in an envelope meant she saw snippets of the text on the blank side. Barb let Fizz know that Blitzo was sending mail, but never the content.

She didn’t mean to read any of them, but checking the address meant seeing what was written. There was a theme of ‘sorry, please talk to me, let me explain, I’m sorry, text, call, so sorry,’ in his scribbled handwriting. Knowing their dad’s account of events, her brother’s repeated requests for forgiveness just infuriated Barb.

She saw there were a few that mentioned her and their mom. Blitzo was asking if Fizz knew where they were. You’d know if you’d stuck around, traitor, she thought bitterly as she sent the postcards to be shredded. 

The frequent reminders of Blitzo’s existence kept her off balance. And Fizzarolli was spending more time in Lust. He kept denying any emotional attachment to Asmodeus but Barb saw the difference in how he talked about the Sin.  His absence left her somewhat at loose ends in her downtime.

The other survivors from their circus had scattered; few wanted to stay in Greed with all the established gangs and corruption. Barb, not wanting to be alone constantly, found other demons that shared her interests. One of those interests being drug use was incidental. 

After seven months, the postcards arrived less frequently. Barb didn’t really notice; she had access to stronger stuff and was getting fucked up on a regular basis. Fizz was paying her enough that she could afford it… for now. But as the next pageant got closer, she started missing more days.

At first it didn’t matter too much. Her friend was off being Ozzie’s boy toy. The PR team was finally filtering the mail somewhat. And just before the pageant, Blitzo sent a card saying, ‘I’ll leave you alone Fizz. You know where to find me. I’m sorry.’ That was one less stressor; Barb celebrated with a weekend long bender.

She managed to be clean for a few days before and after the clown pageant. She was able to function as Fizz’s security the whole time. Once again, he won. Once again, Mammon immediately signed him on with a year long contract.

This year though, the king of Greed had some things to talk about concerning Fizzarolli’s assistant. Whisking him behind closed doors for the rigamarole of the contract was the perfect moment to plant seeds of doubt about Barb in his mind.

“Y’know Fizzy, that assistant o’ yours…I know she’s your friend but she’s been slacking big time,” he said as they signed and initialed pages. “I’d hate for someone from your past to take advantage of you, yah?” Mammon had a look of intense concern as he finished his portion of the contract.

“I-I’ll talk to her, Mammon sir.” Fizz was already worried about Barb. He knew she’d gotten hooked on painkillers after the fire. She’d been sober for years but he could see the signs popping up. And if Mammon noticed, things were getting worse.

“Good boy Fizzy! ‘Cause we’re gonna be real busy again and we don’t need c**ts coasting off your success.”

The day after the pageant saw Fizz in Lust again, working with Ozzie on updating the Fizzies. Asmodeus took him out for lunch again. He’d told Mammon before the contest that he’d need the whole day with the winner for their work, preventing his fellow Sin from interrupting anything.

After lunch, Ozzie sprung an offer on Fizz. “I’d like you to work at my lounge club, Froggie. Get you some experience outside the Greed Ring and away from all those creeps.”

Fizz waved a dismissive hand. “Psh, I’ve always had creeps around, it’s not that big a deal. Besides, Barb’s got my back.”

“Yeeeeeeaaaah, about that,” Asmodeus said slowly.

“Oh not you too Oz! Mammon was just bitching to me last night about her!”

“Hey, I’m just saying…she’s having a bad time lately. I’m not gonna pry, but if even Mam has picked up on it? Your girl needs help.” Ozzie cupped Fizz’s cheek. “Look, I know she’s important to you. You’re basically family right?” Fizz nodded. “So I want to help. And moving you both out of Greed is a good way to start.”

Fizz sighed. “Yeah, she’s never really liked it there anyway. I can’t make her do anything though.”

“You know me babe; I ain’t about forcing anyone. Unless she’s in deep shit, too deep to handle or putting herself in danger? you gotta let her make her choices.” He leaned back in their private booth. “I’m serious about working at my lounge though. You’d make a great M.C. Fizzy-frog.”

Fizz agreed to perform at Ozzie’s, with the frequent scheduling starting in a few weeks. He had prior commitments with Mammon to take care of first. Doing nightly shows at the lounge would mean moving to Lust.

Before that, he wanted to talk with Barb. The first chance he got was almost a week later, after they were done at Mammon’s for the day. Fizz had to steal himself to talk to his friend so he went to her apartment after hyping himself up via a phone call with Asmodeus.

Barb, meanwhile, had taken a hit of her current drug of choice as soon as she got home. It was the first big high she’d had in the past two weeks. When Fizz showed up at her door unannounced, she could feel the drugs hitting her system. Although he looked serious and she was trying to focus on what he said, the chemical filter in her veins meant she really only caught a few words. Kind of like those snippets of Blitzo’s postcards.

“Barb, I know you’ve got a problem. You’ve been using drugs again, I can tell. We need to get you help, but we can’t do it here. Asmodeus offered me a gig, I’ll need to move to Lust. Please, come with me. I can’t stand seeing you destroy yourself. We’ll get away from all this shit in Greed. Get you some fucking help.”

Barb tried to string together what he was saying. What truly stuck with her was he was moving. Leaving for Lust and Asmodeus. Away from her. She growled angrily. “Urrrgh! Fine, go fuck off with your royal sugar daddy! I don’t need you!” She pushed him away from her. Her intoxication meant she didn’t have much control of her strength. Her push knocked him against the wall; if he hadn’t hit it with his prosthetic arm, it would have left bruises.

She stomped to the door and yanked it open. “Get the fuck out Fizz. The other imp looked stricken so she pushed him again. This one sent him into the hallway. Barb slammed the door shut, locked it and  put the chain on. He had a spare key, but even his extendable arms would struggle with the chain. She pressed her back against the door and slid down it as Fizz knocked desperately. He kept saying her name but she didn’t respond. She just curled up, silent and crying.

Eventually, he was gone. Her sense of time was completely distorted. Maybe it had been an hour, maybe just a couple minutes. She just wanted to forget about everything again. Fortunately, past Barb had picked up a baggie full of little friends from her dealer that were very good at helping her forget.

A few days later, she’d come down enough to realize she had to go work. That many pill-shaped friends weren’t cheap. But when she got to Mammon’s main offices, her keycard didn’t work. Barb tried multiple times, flipping the card in different directions but she continued to get error sounds. She was ready to punch the scanner when the door opened smoothly.

The shark demon that stepped out towered over Barb. “What do you want?” No politeness, just blunt demanding attitude.

“I want to get to work. Why isn’t my keycard working?” She waved the offending piece of plastic in front of the shark’s snout.

His concentric ringed eyes focused on the card, reading her name. “Barb Buckzo. Yeah, your position’s been…terminated.” He gave her a leering grin and flicked the card. His claw hit with enough force to send it spinning out of her hand and down the street.

“The fuck d’you mean, ‘terminated’? I’m Fizz’s  assistant and bodyguard!”

“Not no more. You haven’t been here for a week. Mr. Fizzarolii and Lord Mammon don’t need some lazy ass coasting on her buddy’s success.” He straightened up to his full height. The shark crossed his arms and continued to match her glaring look. “So you’re out, shoulda got a termination letter in yer mail.” 

Her jaw dropped. Those assholes! “I wanna talk to Fizz. Right now!” She tried to push past the beefy shark, but he outweighed her and Fizz combined. 

“Mr. Fizzarolli is busy. Lord Mammon is free for the next ten minutes if you wanna talk to him.” Barb growled, a rumbling hiss coming from her chest. “Thought so.” The shark went back inside and the door slid shut behind him.

Barb stood there, chest heaving. She had mostly come down from her high and there was no drugged filter between her and her emotions. After a few minutes of glaring at the locked doors, she started hurling nearby rocks at the building. Her aim was still good from all those years in the circus. But those doors were designed to withstand bullets; a valid concern with all the turf wars likely to pop up in this Ring.

All the rocks in Hell wouldn’t do much to the structure. Barb didn’t care; if anything it made her madder. She kept hurling the same rocks over and over, screaming obscenities all the while. Until she threw one that ricocheted back, hitting her directly on her circus brand and knocking her on her butt.

She sat there, dazed. The pain on her forehead belatedly hit and she rubbed the spot to find ichor welling from the scratch. “Fine. FINE, YOU HEAR ME! YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES! HAVE FUN BEING A PAMPERED WHORE FIZZ! YOU’RE JUST LIKE THAT TRAITOR BLITZO!” Barb turned away, rubbing her upper arms with both hands as she tried to keep the anger in the forefront. She flipped of the building as she walked home.

Not that the studio apartment would be home much longer. She was behind on rent and her landlord was ready to kick her out. Checking her mail, she found the termination letter; included was her severance check. Not enough to back pay everything. But enough to find somewhere else. Something cheaper and closer to the drug dens she was visiting more often. 

Within two days, she was gone, ghosting everyone in her life.

—————

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[variousqueerthings]

okay so I watched two plays this past week, cabaret and a mirror. i also watched hadestown the week before, and it was fucking Stunning, but ive been thinking of how cabaret and a mirror have become pieces of comparison for me in terms of what they were attempting to do (I think I could also compare hadestown and cabaret in a similar way).

i did write quite a long first reaction to cabaret, basically summed up as, it was very good, very talented performers, and very politically safe -- the audience invited to it were always going to be overwhelmingly straight, well-off, and white, because that's how it was marketed and how it was priced, and so accordingly the show didn't seem to want to make that audience feel too challenged by being compared too harshly with the german woman who goes back on her engagement with a jewish man and decides to safely capitulate to the oncoming nazis, by being too called-out by songs like "money makes the world go around" and "if you could see her like i do," and even the idea that if you do not stand up politically when fascists are knocking at your door, then you are supporting fascists (and all this wrapped up in a glitzy, queer circus aesthetic to enjoy voyeuristically)

so it was very interesting going from that feeling to a play like a mirror, which was all abouuuuut censorship! @gjdraws big rundown forya!

spoilers:

we begin with all of us at a wedding -- an officially licenced perfectly legal wedding, is stressed, before the officials leave and we're suddenly directly informed that the play is about to start

as we watch it becomes apparent that the fourth wall isn't there, that we're a part of the performance, that we're watching a play within a play, and that the characters know that the audience is there

the play-within-a-play is a tale of a new playwright who comes up against the force of censorship in an unnamed country. JLM plays both the person clearly putting on the play, and the man who speaks in favour of censorship -- but specifically a benevolent censorship

no truncheons, no "re-education centers," just finding real talent (like this new playwright) and pointing them in the right direction, not writing reality, but inspirational, beautiful pieces

this becomes a problem when the playwright makes it apparent that he just writes what he hears -- he's got a photographic memory, and he's hiiiighly coded as autistic, not quite understanding the underlying messaging he's receiving, that he's expected to write propaganda

this all comes to a head when he reveals that he was there during a famous battle that was lauded as a great victory against terrible odds, but in actuality was indicative of terrible leadership that killed a lot of people -- because he was simply instructed to write about this battle, he writes it exactly as he remembers it...

worse, he keeps transcribing the exact conversation he has with the man who's trying to groom him to greatness, the "minister for the department of culture not the censorship department!!!" this man has secret copies of shakespeare (illegal) stashed under floorboards, will frequently mock other directors, and generally speaks in a way that shows him to be pompous, grandiose, hypocritical, and manipulative

from aspiring playwright to getting arrested and tortured by the police, we then get interrupted by the authorities. everyone in the room has been arrested (audience included) for dissemination of illegal materials. the end

a few interesting, thought-provoking, and/or funny things

the play-within-a-play actually gets interrupted a couple of times throughout, and the sham-wedding hastily re-established, adding a certain danger to the whole proceeding, but also a lot of comedy, as scenes are changed by the actors themselves

a particular Moment is when the man playing the playwright and the woman playing the secretary to "the minister for the department of culture" are about to have sex -- it's steamy and kind of a fun way of playing with the idea of explicit verbal consent- she asks him about how he writes, he says he just puts down what he sees as is, she tells him to narrate what she's doing, up until she kisses him, he narrates his reciprocation prior to kissing her back, then that she pulls down his trousers, before she takes over, narrating that he hikes up her skirt- and then the play is interrupted and they have to hastily readjust their clothes and pretend nothing is happening! followed by her going "uh there was meant to be a sex scene here, but we'll just skip it now," and the actor meant to be coming on next being caught unaware with a drink and a cigarette in his hand

it is a wonderful showcasing of JLM's presence onstage, he's just the mostest! of all time! he gets to play the whole range, villainous in the play-within-a-play, righteous revolutionary when it turns out he's the actual playwright as they all get arrested and dragged away, nervous manic energy whenever the play is getting interrupted, he's serious, he's hammy, he's jittery, he's menacing, he's oafish, he's sincere, he's devastated, genuinely doing it all!!!

the interaction with the audience is what really struck me, specifically in comparison with cabaret -- now obvs one doesn't have to do cabaret with direct audience interaction, and the thing is there was actually a fair bit of it in the pre-show and in the interval, and we have that opening willkommen bienvenue welcome promising the audience that everything is wonderful and perfect (which the subsequent play then negates). but my issue was (much longer in my actual cabaret post) how withdrawn from the audience that musical was. how politically disconnected, how little it felt - to me - like i was actually at a cabaret, or at a show interacting with the audience on a meta level

a mirror was incredibly meta, incredibly in-your-face, incredibly direct and pinpoint accurate in how it wanted to tell this -- the audience were dissidents, but we were also being warned: words have power, plays have power, censorship is a real danger, it already exists, be wary of complacency and when certain kinds of community voices are dehumanised as inherently dangerous ideas...

it was strange coming across this almost by accident, honestly, really because i was going to watch something that jlm was in, and boy was it Something! ive been noting how many narratives like this ive been coming across this year -- most recently hadestown, a mirror, babel, and monkey man all within two weeks. the fight is worth fighting, even though we may not win, or may not change everything at once, the fight is worth fighting, and it's global, it's spiritual, it's words, politics, religion (im sure i'll come across something based in science too). i don't know yet how to internalise these stories in reality, considering the reality we're living in. for now they're simply living alongside reality, whether it's the work i do, or the work and resistance happening around the world. it's not perfect, but the fight is worth fighting

[madomkasak]

Lmao don't perceive my tag because half of it was already posted but I am fond of reckless thoughts, Daniel version too. Part 3 will be finished at some point once I gather the will to stitch the vignettes together (ask about them always!!) but I am also in my sad Daniel thoughts so here's the whole start of it.

It isn't the start though, not of reckless thoughts Max and Daniel, but it is the start of Max and Daniel. One day we'll learn what happened in that hotel room, before. We'll also learn what happens after.

As usual - retirement, Singapore, etc. Sad h/c. Maxiel newly established.

Daniel texts Max, in the end. Feels too hollowed out, feels like everything is pulling inwards and Daniel cannot find it in himself to unspool everything. There’s a lot of messages from him already, the last one from hours ago now.

He arrives at the hotel way past his bedtime. Thinks it isn't worth it falling asleep, when he has the flight home in a few hours. Can't let go yet. Tells Max it’s ok, he’ll still take First Class. Doesn't want to hide.

Thinks he is too fragile to be Air Max cargo. Thinks he won't be able to let Max go as easily, if they are together come morning. Come a few hours later than now, with how late Daniel stayed in the paddock.

He’s fine, Maxy. He isn't. But — he is, a little. He is, when he opens the thread. Sees Max offering Air Max once, twice. It’s no big deal, Daniel. Daniel wants to go up the few floors between them and go kiss him again, now that it is allowed.

It wasn't the first time they kissed, anyway. But it is the first time, when Daniel allows himself to know that there will be others. Even if, even if Daniel isn't coming back to the track, now.

Fuck. 

Daniel doesn't sleep. Settles in the settee, watches over the circuit, watches the formula 1 circus pack itself back up. Pack Daniel bits up never to unpack them ever again. There’s a lot he wants to say. Doesn't. Thinks about calling Max three times, calls his mother instead.

His voice breaks at the first syllable. He doesn't even say hello. Swallows, wishes she were here.

She sighs a choked sound that Daniel hears in his throat. But Daniel doesn't talk about the end of it all with her. Curls more tightly in the hotel armchair, talks about Max instead. Unspools the thread on the embroidered Hugo T-shirt. Undoes the flower there like he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me.

He always did, Daniel; his mother says. And Daniel knows. It is him, who was too slow. Too unsure about himself. He won't make the same mistake, won't let anyone tell him what to do. Except Max, maybe. Max is always a little bit bossy, a bit blunt. Daniel never minded it, doesn't mind it now.

It makes the little gestures Max did the last few days even sweeter. Daniel had sensed something, felt it's gnawing in his soul, let Max protect him from it with his little umbrella and aborted steps. Max isn't the one who bit into his gut and let it fall apart. He is the one holding Daniel together, stitches him back up.

Daniel's voice doesn't waver, when he talks about Max. Softens as his mother listens, as she hums when Daniel says he stopped being stupid. Let Max love him back.

“Do you think he will come to the farm?” She asks, and Daniel stays silent. Thinks, untwists the knots in his heart. Thinks that yes, Max would come, if Daniel asked. Daniel doesn't white know how to ask this - doesn't know yet how to make himself think Max won't be sacrificing anything, to come with him.

He isn't sure he is worth any sacrifices, when he’s been chewed and spit out like this. When he has been made everybody’s sacrificial lamb. Honey badger, even, whatever. Curses under his breath and at least his mum doesn't chastise him. Daniel still feels like he is five right now, wishes he didn't have the weight of the world here in this little settee. It might just crack open and swallow him whole too. A death of velvety corduroy that chafed his thigh two nights ago.

They talk until the sun's up. Until Daniel’s phone buzzed from texts about his flight back home. He finds he doesn't need to cry anymore. He plays the little radio message again and again.

It aches like a lost limb, but Daniel watches the onboard Blake sends him. It’s his last one but god – Daniel likes it. Thinks he did something with it, at least. Doesn't linger on how his last lap should have been received. Thank you, Daniel. Thank you.

Messages Max. Confirms when he will land in Perth. It isn't as long a flight as he was flying back to Faenza. Had planned to stay home during the break before Austin and now —

He types more. Undoes it. Types again. Come to the farm, yeah? Come see me, when you can? I’ll come to Austin for you. I’ll watch the race and cheer you on. Daniel switches, removes himself more and more from the paddock and Max’s racing, builds the wall up. Come to the farm, Max. Come to me.

Erases them all. Breathes. Love you, Max. Hits send. Max doesn't reply, must be asleep. Has his own plane to catch. It’s okay, Daniel needs a bit of silence. Needs to go home. Needs to go, without Max, so his heart feels less tender, less scared by how it fights between sadness and the elation he feels, thinking of Max.

He isn't alone for too long anyway.

Gets twenty Max messages by the time he lands. Max is the first one he calls. It hurts a bit less already.

His mother is here at the airport. Picks him up like Daniel is ten and not thirty-something. Daniel feels like a child, an enormous thing that feels too big for his body risking swallowing him. 

Daniel cries, into the crook of her neck. Wishes she could lift him up one more time, and Daniel would have wrapped himself around her. Breathes in. 

He's the one who sleeps in the car, curled against familiar worn leather, his mother's playlist soft through the vehicle. The belt digs into his neck. He feels every bump and feels carsick from it, the smell of fuel bringing every tear back up again. She doesn't say anything. Turns up the volume on a song they both know by heart, skips the ones she knows Daniel dislikes more.

He doesn't make fun of her, when she turns down the volume the closer they are to home — like she doesn't know the way with her eyes closed. His body knew too, waking up despite the grogginess and heaviness and the dozens of notifications buzzing in his hoodie.

Say hello to Max, she says. And Daniel swipes his phone to ping him too, drums fingers against the little icon of Max's face - a silly picture they took years ago. Not even the locket picture of Max from the hotel room Daniel sees behind closed eyes still. He can't show his mother half naked Max yet. Yet.

"Yeah." He says. Chokes. He catches a half smile, knowing, at the corner of his eyes. Daniel sweats a bit. Not from the balmy spring heat. From the Max thoughts. The Max-mum thoughts of being known. Thinks she won't be surprised, when Daniel tells them in a few days.

But he needs home first, as much as he needs Max here with him. That will happen after.

Daniel swipes off the notification for the Monaco flight. Doesn't glance at the receipt attached. Undoes his seatbelt with a shaky hand. Even lets his mother take his bag from the boot, with a kiss to his cheek.

He cries against the car.

[showtoonzfan]

You know it kind of says something when the moody sarcastic and physically abusive hellhound out more effort into finding Via than Stolas did. Like Loona pretty much did all the heavy lifting tracking her down because Stolas can't seem to take his eyes off Blitzo. It's why I find it strange that people say Stolas is a good dad since while he isn't slapping her, he basically neglects her and almost skims over entirely until the end of each respective episode at the circus or at the stars one.

And it’s so funny because Loona didn’t even give a shit until she spotted Via on her Instagram. Before she just fucked off, but yeah if Stolas really was a good dad, maybe he wouldn’t flirt with Blitz, call Octavia’s mother a bitch right in front of her, and overall neglect her feelings as a whole. The fandom only thinks he’s a good dad because Viv made the relationship between Stolas/Octavia/Stella so one sided. Stella barley mentions Via or acknowledges her existence, and Stolas is just the Uwu “imperfect” dad that loves her very much. The thing that pisses me of tho is that people DO realize you can still love your kid genuinely but still be not that good of a parent right? Greg from Steven Universe is an example, or Alador from The Owl House. I wish the show was more open minded, acknowledging that Stolas DID love his daughter but established that he needed to be better for her, but instead it just INSISTS he’s a good father despite barley showing us any examples, NOT counting taking care of her as a child.

[blackjackkent]

Next up on the circus circuit (hah) is a djinn with a VERY ominous combat title:

Cool, that seems fine. O.O;

He has a TON of loot behind him; this would probably be quite lucrative if I was willing to destroy and/or steal everything around here. Most of it I'm not very interested in, but this one is interesting:

Anyway, let's see what he has on offer.

"APPROACH, UGLY ONE."

...Wow, okay. Fuck you too.

Hector just kind of stares at him for a moment. As mentioned, he's pretty bewildered (and probably kind of overstimulated) by this whole situation. After a moment, he just answers at the top of his voice, "YOU ARE VERY LOUD."

Karlach, again, tries desperately not to laugh behind him (which is probably good, because before that she was debating whether to deck this djinn for calling Hector ugly).

"YES," the djinn bellows, making Hector's ears ring. "BEHOLD: AKABI'S WHEEL OF WONDERS."

"SPIN TO WIN PRIZES BEYOND YOUR TINY IMAGINATION, AND MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE MORE BEARABLE."

This guy is a dick and a spin costs 500 gold, so these prizes better be something special.

"What kind of things can I win?" Hector asks warily.

"AKABI HAS TRAVELED ACROSS THE PLANES, BURNING AND CONQUERING ALL. WIN THE SPOILS OF SUCH CONQUEST. OR, IF LUCK SMILES UPON YOU, WIN THE GRAND PRIZE. THE JACKPOT."

Inwardly, Hector grumps to himself that even at this circus, no one can answer a godsdamned direct question with a godsdamned direct answer.

"What is the jackpot?" he asks with exaggerated patience.

"NO MORE QUESTIONS," bellows the djinn. "SPIN OR DON'T."

...Dammit. This feels sketch as hell but we've established that piquing Hector's curiosity is a way to make him do ill-advised stuff. (Between this and the facepainting we're up to 1500 gold on the day. This place is pricyyyyyy.)

"I'd like to spin the wheel."

The wheel spun, Hector biffed a Perception check (which I'm guessing would tell him the game is rigged), and won this (after Akabi called him ugly again):

Gross.

This is fairly low stakes so I'm actually going to reload, toss Guidance on him, and save-scum the Perception check, purely because this guy called Hector ugly and I don't like him. :P

Returning for a second convo after the reload, Akabi doubled down on calling him a "SPONGY MORTAL" which is also rude.

Anyway, we spin and this time we get the Perception check:

Narrator: [PERCEPTION] You notice a glint in Akabi's beard - as it glows, the wheel moves away from the jackpot. He is *cheating*.

This unlocks a [ROGUE] dialogue line basically telling Akabi to work on his technique in scamming people; this line leads to Akabi offering a free spin and threatening us. Yelling back at him at that point causes him to do this:

Which is hysterical.

However, I don't see Hector really going down this path. What is very Hector-ish is how utterly scandalized the narrator sounded about the cheating. So I think Hector just walks away but Karlach and Shadowheart and Jaheira get to listen to him hold forth for a while on how pathetic such con games are and how someone really ought to put a stop to it.

[blackestnight]

ttrpg directory 2023

it's that time of year again! the annual local gaming convention means my annual ttrpg roster (below the cut for convenience).

THE BLORBOS:

pathfinder

electra godstongue (half-elf aasimar oracle of flames): still alive and kickin', somehow! at present the circus is taking a break while the party adventures through the darklands, and electra has been having a lovely time schmoozing her way through a city of undead drow. (we did get invited to perform as guests in the local circus, and she successfully defended her title as the best fire-eater in the inner seas.) at present she's stuck in a fucked-up wizard tower and the party is trying to steal back a magical orb...that the wizard stole...after a god failed to steal it.

and, you all will be happy to know, her 'most damage in a single turn of combat' record remains unbroken at 959 damage with a seventh-level sunburst.

álmos szarka (half-elf thaumaturge, organized play): the most trustworthy* wizard* you know, selling authentic* magical talismans* at reasonable prices*

*absolutely none of this is true

they are a master bullshitmonger, though. álmos is so good at spinning tales that they're the party Lore Guy, despite having an intelligence bonus of 0, because they can convince anyone that they know what they're talking about (and sometimes they actually do). they once famously distracted a night hag for an entire round of combat by pulling a random piece of garbage costume jewelry out of their pocket and convincing the hag it was a magical key to a legendary vault full of the pathfinder society's greatest treasures. they're also stealthy and tricky enough that they frequently out-rogue the rogue.

ivorna fen (half-elf twisting tree magus, organized play): a new character, formerly a student at Wizard School until she got kicked out for beating people up with her fancy wizard staff. she's since taken on her own independent studies combining martial and magical disciplines, and her custom-made staff is her pride and joy: it's made of interlocking wood pieces that expand and contract magically, and her spell book is actually a long strip of engraved leather that she wraps around it in an intricate criss-crossing pattern and functions as a scytale, forming different spells depending on how she's arranged the segments of her staff. she spends most of her time cleaning up pathfinder society messes, especially (ironically) in the daceline academy for pathfinder agents' children.

nitamani ruby-eyes (elf oread swashbuckler battledancer): also a new character for an ongoing campaign set in alkenstar, the clockwork city in the mana wastes. a former saloon dancer turned unintentional outlaw after getting on the wrong side of the corrupt shieldmarshals, she takes her throwing knives and her distracting hip shimmies into battle in the name of the duchess of alkenstar in an effort to restore rightful power to a less-bad option than the guys in charge now. she's also one of the two party faces—the other being the cleric, a devotee of the goddess of lust. she and the cleric keep running scams where they pretend to be married and play the most obnoxious rich patrons in any given establishment who want to speak to the manager. no one can tell if they're actually flirting while they do this. that "no one" includes me.

she's also a local legend at the longhorn lounge, where she not only won the annual bull-riding contest, but did so while standing upright on top of the bull.

zafsah the harrower (fetchling ranger, organized play): making her debut this weekend, she comes equipped for any adventure with glowing eyes, a fuck-off scythe, and a pet terror bird named hades. she used to be a rancher in the shadow-flooded kingdom of nidal before escaping inland and making her way to absalom to join the pathfinders and explore the world outside the dark domain she'd lived her whole life in. mostly she's been taking jobs on the night watch near the gravelands, looking for undead incursions, which doesn't help with the whole...aura she's got going.

boney angles (skeleton gunslinger pistolero): they're a skeleton. they dual-wield pistols. they wear a leather harness and garters and strike a lot of cheesecake poses. that's really it tbh

starfinder

starmistress britta makee (human solarian): still here, still has her fancy space knife. she also has a planet, technically. not the one she's already the crown princess of. a different planet. she got it as a gift for helping a space emperor dethrone his fucked-up sister. she gave the planet away though and now she's a civilian representative on a governing council for a new democratic space republic that's caught between four warring space empires and some genocidal sentient space robots, because of course she is. also she might be trapped in hell, or in an extradimensional bottomless ocean, or something. but it's fine! the party has a plan: let britta turn into motes of light (she can just...do that), stick her in a jar, and chuck her into the enemy stronghold through the vents. say hello to my little friend.

Z-N0N (android exocortex mechanic): they're back and cringier than ever! your least favorite space twitch streamer is still wearing their backwards baseball cap, still saying "lit" like it's cool, and still the only person in the party who speaks any given language, but they have the social acumen of a twelve-year-old whose conversational skillset was developed on space xbox live chats.

[catcake24]

My fucking god I hate Instagram ppl sometimes. Oh sure I’ve met some lovely people there, but UGHHHHHHH

Unhinged rant below

Ok so: I love the amazing digital circus pilot, I loved the animation, the humour, the character designs, the mystery, all of it. I’m not gonna claim it’s the best thing ever, it has its flaws and probably isn’t for everyone.

But because it got so popular overnight, and internet rush culture is a fucking nightmare, people are ALREADY HATING ON IT. Saying “oh it’s actually bad, people just like it due to theory making” which is dumb because one, that’s how a fucking mystery series works you donkey - they establish a main mystery and clues but give no answers - and two, why does that make it bad already??. No one knows where the story is going, it’s barely even started, and you want to claim that because people might have wrong expectations it makes it BAD?????

And it’s also angering because I know they are right about one thing: people only getting on it due to it being the next big thing, and then being salty that it isn’t what they want. I can’t wait for it to finally leave the eye of the major internet if it ever does, because we already have wise guys coming in and complaining or claiming they already know the ending after the story has JUST STARTED.

It breaks my poor little writer heart that people feel like they can either already predict everything in a story and get bad when it doesn’t or get mad at the show for the fan base being that way.

Now I’m just hoping that the creator doesn’t make good on their promise to make the show bad if the fandom doesn’t behave :( because I am looking forward to where this show is going and I want desperately to see the whole thing unfold.

[thelesbianpoirot]

Remember that famous drag queen (DIVINE) that used to eat shit on stage, like literally eat feces for people's entertainment because it was all he could do to get a name for himself. Because it was established that drag queens were simultaneously clowns and a whole circus freak show gay and heterosexual people. Now these ugliest criminally talentless men are being revered as activists and artists that are necessary to the development of child. They get cancelled on twitter every other week for being racist disgusting politically-unaware men, yet liberals are rebranding them as saviors of some kind. I don't believe in wasting time protesting drag story times, because I think any parent who takes their child to drag shows are brainless and will be fucking their children up in other dumb ways. Enjoy laughing awkwardly and being unable to complain when a drag queen makes an inappropriate joke to your four year old child, and calls her a "bitch or cunt" in a funny way or something totally normal.