#this was supposed to be a joke about how its written not a character study

[the-c41n-instinct]

People say the Magisterium series is badly written, but it's written like a fanfiction and that's my favorite thing about it.

[hamletthedane]

Hamlet’s Age

Not to bring up an age-old debate that doesn’t even matter, but I have been thinking recently how interesting Hamlet’s age is both in-text and as meta-text.

To summarize a whole lot of discussion, we basically only have the following clues as to Hamlet’s age:

Hamlet and Horatio are both college students at Wittenberg. In Early Modern/Late Renaissance Europe, noble boys typically began their university education at 14 and usually completed at their Bachelor’s degree by 18 or 19. However, they may have been studying for their Master’s degrees, which was typically awarded by age 25 at the latest. For reference, contemporary Kit Marlowe was a pretty late bloomer who received a bachelor’s degree at 20 and a master’s degree at 23.

Hamlet is AGGRESSIVELY described as a “youth” by many different characters - I believe more than any other male shakespeare character (other than 16yo Romeo). While usage could vary, Shakespeare tended to use “youth” to mean a man in his late teens/very early 20s (actually, he mostly uses it to describe beardless ‘men’ who are actually crossdressing women - likely literally played by young men in their late teens)

King Hamlet is old enough to be grey-haired, but Queen Gertrude is young enough to have additional children (or so Hamlet strongly implies)

Hamlet talks about plucking out the hairs of his beard, so he is old enough to at least theoretically have a beard

In the folio version, the gravedigger says he became a gravedigger the day of Hamlet’s birth, and that he’s be “sixteene here, man and boy, thirty years.” However, it’s unclear if “sixteene” means “sixteen” or “sexton” (ie has he worked here for 16 years but is 30 years old, or has he been sexton there for thirty years?)

Hamlet knew Yorick as a young child, and the gravedigger says Yorick was buried 23 years ago. However, the first quarto version version of Hamlet says “dozen years” instead of “three and twenty.” This suggests the line changed over time. (Or that the bad quarto sucks - I really need to make that post about it, huh…)

Yorick is a skull, and according to the gravedigger’s expertise, he has thus been dead for at least 7-8 years - implying Hamlet is at least ~15yo if he remembers Yorick from his childhood

One important thing sometimes overlooked - Claudius takes the throne at King Hamlet’s death, not Prince Hamlet. That is mostly a commentary on English and French monarchist politics at the time, but it is strange within the internal text. A thirty year old Hamlet presumably would have become the new monarch, not the married-in uncle (unless Gertrude is the vehicle through which the crown passes a la Mary I/Phillip II - certainly food for thought)

Honestly, Hamlet is SO aggressively described as being very young that I’m fairly confident the in-text intention is to have him be around 18-23yo. Placing his age at 30yo simply does not make much sense in the context of his descriptors, his narrative role, and his status as a university student.

However, it doesn’t really matter what the “right” answer is, because the confusion itself is what makes the gravedigger scene so interesting and metatextual. We can basically assume one of the following, given the folio text:

Hamlet really is meant to be 30yo, and that was supposed to surprise or imply something to the contemporary audience that is now lost to us

Older actors were playing Hamlet by the time the folio was written down, and the gravedigger’s description was an in-text justification of the seeming disconnect between age of actor and description of “youth”

Older actors were playing Hamlet by the time the folio was set down, and the gravedigger’s description was an in-text JOKE making fun of the fact that a 30-something year old is playing a high-school aged boy. This makes sense, as the gravedigger is a clown and Hamlet is a play that constantly pokes fun at its own tropes and breaks the fourth wall for its audience

The gravedigger cannot count or remember how old he is, and that’s the joke (this is the most common modern interpretation whenever the line isn’t otherwise played straight). If the clown was, for example, particularly old, those lines would be very funny

Any way you look at it, I believe something is echoing there. It seems like this is one of the many moments in Hamlet where you catch a glimpse of some contemporary in-joke about theater and theater culture* that we can only try to parse out from limited context 430 years later. And honestly, that’s so interesting and cool.

*(My other favorite example of this is when Hamlet asks Polonius about what it was like to play Julius Caesar in an exchange that pokes fun of Polonius’ actor a little. This is clearly an inside-joke directed at Globe regulars - the actor who played Polonius must have also played Julius Caesar in Shakespeare’s play, and been very well reviewed. Hamlet’s joke about Brutus also implies the actor who played Brutus is one of the main cast in Hamlet - possibly even the prince himself, depending on how the line is read).

[fatuismooches]

HELLLLLOOOOOOO

I SAID A LOT IN MY OTHER ASK BUT I FORGOT TO MENTION MY APPERCIATION OF HOW YOU WRITE THE READER!! They're so well written in a way that makes it easy to insert one's self into their position without being broken from immersion! (*^ー^)ノ♪ It's really nice to see!!!

OKAY, THIS IS A BIT SELF-INDULGENT, BUT HEY, THIS IS X READER, AND IT’S RARE FOR ME TO FIND A CHARACTER THAT COMES FROM A PLACE WITH REP OF MY CULTURE, SO I’M GONNA HAPPILY DELUDE MYSELF A BIT WITH THE SMALL THINGS IN THE CULTURE. (/_;)/~~

But imagine Akademiya!Dottore and reader experiencing daily life in Sumeru together? Or at least the Reader dragging him around the city for dates and breaks!!!

• Like going to the market area, bargaining with merchants and sellers to try to lower the prices of items. Do you think Zandik would be the type to bargain? Especially if it’s something he needs for his tinkering experiments? Or does he leave it to the Reader?

• Or maybe the Reader dragging him to clothing shops, trying to get him to try on several traditional outfits, only to not buy anything because it’s too expensive anyway. But that’s alright because now the Reader has had the lovely experience of seeing Zandik in all those outfits. (Though I suppose, with that Fatui income Pantalone please spare me some extra change in current times, they could splurge a little on outfits for themselves, Zandik, and even the segments!)

• Ohhhh, and the cuisine too??? ＼(_ _) All that delicious, mouthwatering spicy food! The sweet shops? The street food? Just the Reader and Zandik walking through the streets of the city, with the Reader convincing Zandik to try all the sweet snacks being sold by street vendors. Watching it be made in real time (The Reader is probably broke at this point, but it’s fine because FOOD.)

• And this one is more niche—and a bit of a joke (but also my reality)—but imagine making chai (tea) like five times a day. Probably unhealthy if the reader overloads it with sugar.

“Hey, wanna drink some chai, Zandik?”

“Didn’t you just make some two hours ago???”

(Tea-drinking might need to be cut back during current times for Fragile!Reader’s health because all that sugar probably wouldn’t bode well for their condition.)

• And during those walks through the streets, stopping to feed and play with the stray dogs and cats they come across! Zandik grumbling about how it’s a waste of time because they could’ve been back in their dorm working on reports or studies, yet still sneaking in a few pets for the stray cats.

I’m sure Fragile!Reader would miss these things. What used to be daily or weekly activities are now either no longer possible or something they no longer have the energy to do, leaving them yearning for the liveliness of their past. They could long for the food of that one street vendor but its been almost 500 years now, they're already long gone. They don't really have the strength to drag Dottore around anymore, and they can't even be outside for too long either. A reality they have to accept for now

OKAY BYE IMMA SCREAM

- 💀🎉 Anon

Despite it being a crucial part of obtaining a bunch of interesting and hard-to-get items, Akademiya Dottore's bargaining skills leave much to be desired. And it's not because he's necessarily bad, but because his delivery always comes out in an unfavorable way. It doesn't even have much to do with his reputation as the Outcast, after all, money is money to these vendors, but rather because he just comes off as blunt and sometimes even impatient (even unintentionally.) Always having an answer right after and lacking formalities... Thankfully he becomes much better at this as he grows older. Omega is an example of that.

Though Zandik only really bargained with items related to his experiments and curiosity. He usually just got the cheapest things for food and saved for other things, though you quickly made sure he got a balanced diet. Whenever you are chatting with a seller, he is just in the back, arms crossed and shooting huffy stares. you make sure to block the merchant's sight of him lest they get uneasy. Although he won't admit it, he's grateful for your help. Sometimes he ponders how good you are at getting people on their good side, and then he realizes he too is wrapped around your finger. (The truth of the matter is that he's not that good at talking to others.)

Zandik would never waste time heading into random shops - at least, that's what he told himself before you quite literally dragged him there. Poor guy just buries his face in his notes until you throw him into the dressing room. The old ladies there are asking when the date of the wedding is. Needless to say, it was mostly a one-and-done experience because being your dress-up doll is not what he signed up for, but you've burned the images into your mind already!

(For some reason, Pantalone seems to have a soft spot for you and will forward you Mora on some occasions, mostly to spite his fellow co-worker. It makes The Doctor fume not only because he's still waiting for approval on funding, but he doesn't appreciate the buddy-buddyness.)

I also like to imagine when fragile reader wakes up, they have quite a nice and surprisingly big wardrobe because Dottore and the segments have been slowly buying things they think you'd like over the course of a few centuries.

One thing about Zandik is that he loves the food of his country, refuses to admit it, and then gobbles it down directly contradicting himself!!! Reader always has to make sure to take some home for Zandik and remind him not to eat it all in one go because of their limited funds...

Dottore has been petting the strays since before he met you - even birds tended to flock around him. Not that he told you that of course. He doesn't want to seem... soft, he thinks as a crowd of kitties are looking at him expectantly.

(Not niche at all for me because I have been drinking at least one or two cups of tea every day for years since I was a kid. Should I be worried.)

Technically, Zandik isn't in a position to criticize you considering his consumption of coffee during all-nighters, and he too adds sugar to his... but that won't stop him from confiscating the tea bags if he needs to. Although most of the time he just takes you up on your offer, and you sip it together while doing some work. And he does enjoy the moments it brings, mostly in the morning when it's silent save for the sipping.

Fragile reader would undoubtedly cry a bit before accepting the reality they now face. Everything they once loved was now gone or nigh impossible, everything except Dottore of course. But that's why he does his best to liven your life up a bit - he'll make sure his agents cook the food you miss even if it's not comparable, he'll let you point to places and gently pull him, unresisting. The past may be long gone, but he'll make sure the future is something you'll be able to enjoy to the fullest one day.

[laughinglynx]

Some ramblings on plays, because I can't share this with my professor but thought I might as well share it here.

The play I just read was about some young men in a boarding school who decide to kill one of their classmates by picking a name out of a hat. There is no punishment for the guilty. It is senseless violence for once character's enjoyment, and it is treated as nothing more than an interesting moral question. I have been asked to pick one moment in the play that really symbolizes the play as a whole.

I spent over an hour today in tears over this.

I don't understand what this play is supposed to make me feel, other than abject misery. This play does nothing other than hammer in the message that humanity is either evil to the core, or sheep who will play along with that evil. It says, "See? See? The world is awful! We are all irredeemable, and we should all just give up." It makes fun of us for having any remaining notion of goodness, and grinds that under its heel.

And yet I am so scared of what will happen when I go to class and discuss this with my classmates. I'm scared that they will focus on the moral question. I'm scared that they will say how interesting it is, how it connects back to the political or social climate when it was written, they will talk about the references to Oedipus and Creon. And I will sit there, left adrift, completely bewildered by how they aren't talking about the misery and hopelessness of this entire story, and unable to say anything without being brushed off with a laugh.

I am scared of this because it happens over and over again.

The first day of class, I mentioned that I'd seen the play we read. When the professor asked what I thought of it, I joked that I needed some fortifying ice cream after I saw it, and everyone chuckled at that. I didn't say that I felt like all of my emotions had been scraped out with a spoon, with only sadness and terror left over, and that I just barely told my mother I needed OUT before I started sobbing.

The second day of class, our play was about prison rape. They talked about the interesting portrayal of queer characters. I wanted to scream.

Last year, I tried to talk to a professor about why the plays we study are like this. She told me I was just misinterpreting the stories.

Every time I try to express this, I get brushed off.

Why are the stories we choose to put on stage all about hopelessness? Why is there no joy? Why do playwrights insist that humanity is all evil, and that the world is an awful place not worth saving? Why are all the characters awful, why are they all 'explorations on morality' or 'interesting depictions of queer characters' or 'the struggles of girlhood'?

I'm not even saying I don't enjoy dark stories. I watch mostly horror. I actively seek out stories that hurt, because they are interesting.

But those stories have hope in them. These plays do not.

Here is what I know: the world is beautiful. The smell of rain is beautiful. There are trees, and ferns, and moss, and so many wonderful, brilliant things to discover. People collect spiders in cups and escort them outside, because we don't want to kill them. People hug one another, and share stories, and laugh. When my mother and I were eating our ice cream after seeing that horrible, awful play, some very drunk young men wandered over to delightedly compliment her on her brightly colored hair.

People are good, and the world is good, and it makes me so sad and so angry that playwrights want to insist neither of those things are true.

That is my response to this play, and to this class so far. It made me miserable, and it made me cry until I was nauseous, and it made me terrified for theater if this is the sort of story we think is valuable.

But of course I can't send this to my professor, as much as I wish I could. Instead, I'll come up with some pretty, polished response to this fucking play about killing a kid. Maybe I'll write about Oedipus and Creon. Why not. Because no one here wants to hear that, to me, this play is just plain sick.

[teecupangel]

From @thedragonqueen1998

Altaïr just trying so hard to ignore the Readers attempts to communicate. XD Bushes keep lighting on fire near him and he just keeps walking.

This is connected to my tags:

#ac characters as biblically accurate angels #oh god #there’s a plot brewing in the gray #oh no #oh dear #now i’m just imagining the reader possessing a burning bush #and going #‘altaïr #we need to talk’ #and altaïr just going ‘nope not hearing a burning bush definitely not hearing a burning bush’

And I was thinking about what I’ve written in my work-tired-addled mind and I know I wrote it as a joke and, let’s be honest, if Altaïr did turn into a biblically accurate angel, any push from Maria about how this was divine intervention or her God pretty much telling Altaïr “Can’t deny my existence now, can you, bitch” (of course Maria wouldn’t word it that way but I would) would be countered by Altaïr reminding her that the Apple (which has been in his possession and one he had been studying during his free time) did have the capabilities to show illusions so vivid they feel and seem real.

(Honestly, I see Altaïr admitting a god’s existence if there is proof of its existence and also undeniable proof that this supposed god is not part of the Isu race… anything less? He’d be stubborn about it.)

“So what you’re saying is that you are under a spell from that Apple of yours right now?” Maria countered as she crossed her arms, eyes narrowing as she challenged, “And you’re admitting that you have no idea how you can return to your true form nor have any actual evidence that this is connected to the Apple?”

“The Apple’s illusionary powers is the logical conclusion.” Altaïr repeated, annoyed by the way his voice was amplified by thousands of different voices with accents he could barely place, “And the reason I am studying the Apple is because its true potential is unknown to me. I have no evidence that would contradict my theory that this is the Apple’s work.”

“The only thing I am sure of is that you’d rather admit you are playing with something you cannot comprehend than believe that this is the work of God.” Maria dryly said as she stared at Altaïr’s divine visage with an unimpressed expression on her face.

Before Altaïr could say something, most likely unintentionally pushing Maria’s already fraying patience even further and getting sucked into another debate or another about her God or religion in general, a sudden pillar of light pierced the clouds and struck down a nearby bush. The light dispersed, leaving only a bush burning in bright white fire.

Maria gaped at the burning bush for a moment before turning to stare at Altaïr with wide eyes as she pointed at the bush, unable to make any words and instead incomprehensible aborted sounds that sounded quite close to squealing were all she could say.

“No. This is not a sign from your God. It was probably thunder-”

“Oh, shit.”

Altaïr was forced to shut up when he heard a female-sounding voice…

… coming from the burning bush.

Altaïr and Maria turned to stare at the burning bush as the female-sounding voice continued to speak in a strange dialect that seemed English yet not at the same time, “Reader, our aim was off. We’re possessing a bush now.”

“It will have to do.” A male-sounding voice emitted from the burning bush this time and the glowing flames of the bush seemed to flicker at the sound of this voice, “Altaïr. We need to talk.”

Maria turned to stare back at him and just made hand gestures that seemed to be pointing at him and the bush.

Knowing that the ex-Templar had finally lost the ability to speak due to the… religious implications of what they were seeing right now, Altaïr floated closer to the bush as he said in English, “And who am I speaking to?”

From the expression on Maria’s face, it was clear that she knew Altaïr knew who he was speaking to.

The bush was quiet for a moment before the female voice said, “You have to say it. You know you do.”

“I am not going to tell Altaïr that I’m God.” The male voice said in a tired tone that Altaïr could relate to. To Altaïr, he replied, “I am known as the Reader. I have been reading every possible event and future of this world, all in the hopes to find a future where the world would be saved from countless catastrophes that will befall this world centuries from now.”

“But to you? I am what remains of Desmond Miles, your descendant from the 21st century.”

Altaïr couldn’t even feel any kind of victory over Maria right now.

Sure.

He was right that the burning bush wasn’t any kind of god.

A time-traveling descendant of his with the power to see every possibility who is now possessing a burning bush?

Yeah. Okay.

His life was just that weird now, he guessed.

Same person who asked Angel! Altaïr

What if Ezio and Connor turned into biblically accurate angels? (And maybe Haytham or Edward for fun-)

Hi, nonny! Thank you for making Altaïr suffer as a biblically accurate angel yesterday (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Now... Let's screw up Desmond's other ancestors' lives XD

Well, Ezio would definitely have a hard time doing anything else because he’s just become a biblical-accurate angel in one of the most religious parts of the world during his time. Like, if this was set during AC2, Ezio would probably run to Monteriggioni to escape all the worshipping and falling into the ground to pray and stuff, unintentionally turning Monteriggioni into a religious location.

A… holy land.

If this is the middle of AC2, Rodrigo Borgia wouldn’t be pope yet so his power will be limited and it’s really, really going to be easy for all of this to go out of hand and, honestly, Mario Auditore doesn’t strike me as the religious type but he’d definitely try to spin this entire thing to their advantage while worrying on how to get his nephew back to human form in closed doors.

Oh god.

If they hear about Ezio’s mother and sister…

Maria Auditore might be considered a holy woman!

CLAUDIA MIGHT BE CALLED A SAINTESS!

Oh shhiiittt. Claudia might actually milk this entire thing and do a Jeanne d’Arc in this setup.

And Ezio would be stuck in Monteriggioni because he can’t be an Assassin now, EVERYONE is looking at him.

And now… Claudia Auditore takes centerstage. This time, it’s Ezio’s turn to take care of the books. XD

.

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Honestly, Ratonhnhaké:ton wouldn’t think of himself as an angel. He would believe that he had been touched by the spirits or something similar so he may protect his village. Redcoats would definitely see him and think that the end times have come. They have been judged and proclaimed as sinners. This would actually be the most dangerous setup because Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t necessarily have a good support system in place. Achilles is an old jaded man who can’t easily come to his aid. All of his white allies have their own desires and they wouldn’t mind using Ratonhnhaké:ton to achieve their goals. Then… the siege of Yorktown becomes the battleground of two heavenly beings as Haytham stands in front of Charles Lee… and turns into an angel as well.

Edward:

You know what would be funny… if Edward turned into an angel during the webtoon part. Like, just think of Noa’s “what? WHAT??? WHAT?????” reaction to watching as Edward suddenly becomes an angel and he gets desynced there and then because “holy shit, what???” and everyone in the room are just like “???????”.

In the Gray:

“Reader… Reader… you have to stop this.”

“I can’t… I’m connecting to Desmond Miles’ ancestors and this automatically happens. I cannot stop the connection.”

“Reader, if you keep doing this…………… You might have to pretend to be ‘God’.”

“………… what kind of logic did you have to jump thru to get to that idea???”

“Is that sarcasm I sense in your voice? Is this making you human again???”

“Focus, Layla!”

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[irenedubrovna]

A post regarding Euphoria for the benefit of myself and basically no one else

So, it really bothers me when people say Euphoria is groundbreaking, progressive media. Here’s a dissection of why I don’t think it is, because this is what I feel like doing at work:

The character of Rue is objectively great. She by far receives the least overt sexualization, and is treated neutrally in terms of active sexuality. She’s treated like a normal teenage girl with mental issues and an addiction to drugs. She falls in love with a girl who she pines for and places on a pedestal. The reason I think she is written this way is because she is a Sam Levinson proxy. She written with gender ambiguity and with little regard to the experiences she’d go through as a black gay female, probably because Sam Levinson has no insight to that aspect of life. Her performance is heightened of course by Zendaya, who breathes unique life to the Sam Levinson’s artistic extension, and without her performance this show would not get even half the acclaim it gets. Attribute that to Zendaya of course, because the director has done little to deserve this acclaim.

The rest of the females, sans Lexi, are pornified to a disgusting extent, not only due to the fact that they are supposed to be underage, but also because their existence as people is treated as being absolutely secondary to their sexual appeal. They are foremost presented in terms of their relation to sex. Cassie, Maddy, Jules, and Kat cannot be removed from their sexuality without disrupting the plot or their journeys in relation to the plot. Why are the females so intrinsically linked to uber fetishized versions of female sexuality, or uber fetishized versions of blossoming female sexual identity?

Maddy is presented not only scantily clad 90 percent of the time, but also dressed in a precariously unattainable sexual fashion. At any given time she is styled to look straight out of, simultaneously, a high fashion editorial, and a “barely legal” porno. She is airheaded and profane, and promiscuous, her mannerisms dictated by the adult films she’s “studied” in order to project an image of perfect hyper sexual femininity. She’s complacent in becoming a prototypical housewife because it will earn her a comfortable place as a trophy wife. She has no aspirations beyond that. So, let’s unpack all of that. Maddy’s role in the show is mostly passive. The most active thing she does in the plot is revenge fuck a man in the pool of a party. Nearly everything else she does in the show that is plot relevant is of someone else’s volition. Even less of what she in the show is related to anything other than a man. She is abused and then pressured into framing another man for said abuse. She has no agency as a character. The only notable difference to this rule is when she takes drugs at a carnival, knocks a pot of chili over, and calls her ex’s mom a cunt. Removed from her active sexual life and carefully cultivated aesthetic, she’s a trite stereotype of an unambitious girlfriend who gets treated poorly. I see people call Maddy iconic, but if she wasn’t gorgeous and well dressed, I doubt anyone would even think twice about her, let alone create fancams and Instagram pages dedicated to her. She exists as a plot device, and as pretty set dressing to build up the shows aesthetic. Her emotions are not well explored, her motivations are sexist, and she is often there to be demeaned, objectified, or to say a bad word. The most damning part of her involvement in this show is her episode where it is stated that she, as a fourteen year old girl, lost her virginity to an adult man, and it is stated she was in control of the situation. This is a dangerous thing to say about a character, to any audience, but especially a young one. To imply that a precocious young girl was in control during her first sexual encounter with a much much older man implies things that frankly border on rape apologist ideology. This show states this unflinchingly and with no further elaboration. If there’s one thing that tells you that Euphoria is a bad show, let it be that. Also, if there’s one thing that tells you about Sam Levinson as a person, and the way he views girls and women, let it fucking be that.

Jules is a young trans girl. She also likes to have sex with men as a means to “conquer femininity”. Scratch that, she likes to have degrading sex with older men in order to “conquer femininity”. This mindset is shown to be toxic, of course, but I think the problem with this idea in general is that there’s no deeper exploration for what this mindset means. It implies that she believes women are the sum of their intrigue and degradations. This mindset I can only assume would be a cultivation of dysphoria and internalized misogyny, which this series is absolutely not prepared to address in a tactful manner. Jules is a teenager with mental illness, trauma, and is undergoing an identity crisis. There’s something powerful in her character, something worth saying, however we only get trimmings of those meaningful things, and are ultimately left with a hurtful depiction of a trans girl because all of her musings on womanhood and identity are incomplete, and they fail to reach beyond the surface of their thesis statement. She wears colorful clothing, is overtly feminine and artistic in her presentation. Everything about her screams insecurity over her own womanhood. That is the crux of her character. Now, I think we should ask ourselves, is trans person who is insecure about their identity peak representation? Is this what trans people deserve? Is it “groundbreaking “? If this show was run by someone else, I might be inclined to say that there’s nothing insidious about this, but this is the guy that made Assassination Nation, so I think we know what he thinks of young women, the way they should be portrayed (that is, for the capitulation of a man) and realize his inclusion of a trans woman in his cast is no more meaningful than the inclusion of any other woman. Women to him are made to be categorized and should, at the end of the day, be easily palatable for the capitulation of a man. The device of having Jules being interested in older men and rough sex for identity reasons is transparent. Trans women are exploited and objectified with a similar fervor to cis women, the caveat being that they are “a forbidden fruit” of sorts to straight men. Jules is sissified, her presentation fetishistic. Her role in the plot is more involved. Her relationship with Rue is sweet, though toxic on both sides. She is ultimately betrayed, blackmailed, and snowballs into something of a manic episode, all well portrayed by Hunter Schafer, but I don’t think her inclusion in the show absolves it of any of its many sins.

Let’s talk about Cassie. Cassie is the Eurocentric beauty standard exemplified. She is the blonde haired blue eyed girl next store, and her boobs are of course always on display. She is notably promiscuous, something I say right off the bat because that’s how she’s introduced, as a so called slut through the words of the devil (Nate Jacobs). She is a girl with daddy issues, which we are all familiar with at this point. Her sexual boundaries begin and end at the whim of her partner. The terms of her consent are much like the terms of consent of many young girls brainwashed by society and the rising tide of degradation porn: everything is alright as long as you provide them comfort and affirmation afterward. You can touch them roughly without asking, you can use them as a tool to affirm your masculinity. This is the way men prefer their women now: just broken enough to say yes to anything they want. It’s become a joke at this point. Men like girls with issues, but only the ones that will feed their own desires. Cassie Howard is meek. Her inclusion in the plot I suppose ties to themes of drug addiction and how it divides and destroys the people you love. It doesn’t show what it does to her beyond shaping her sexual encounters, which is no surprise. Overall I’d say Cassie is in this roster of females as the most traditional categorically, in relation to how men view women and further how they sexualize them. She has a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love her. That mostly what she does here. Gets used. Doesn’t drive the plot or conflict much. More pretty set dressing. More aesthetics. How this show consists of so many women but is driven so much by men is unsurprising, and, again, very enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Lastly we touch on Kat. I’d like to begin with the fact that self actualization through sexual exploration, in a show run by a man, is just a cloak for a woman to gratify the audience with her sexuality. Regardless of whether or not she is plus sized, this is overt objectification. She is on this show to be sexy. Beyond that, the fact that a minor using sex work as a form of liberation is disgusting. Whether or not she is portrayed as “owning” her sexuality is negligible, and speaks to the same mindset discussed with Maddy. Minors cannot fucking consent to sex, sexual acts, or anything within the confines of such. It’s crazy that this occurs with two different characters in such a similar way. It has echoes of “Well, she looked older..” and “Well, she wanted it..” or “She’s advanced for her age”. Never, not once in the events of the series is there meaningful introspection on what doing this kind of thing does to a minor. Moreover, these acts are explicit, and made clearly for sexual gratification. None of these things are absolved by the fact that she’s plus sized. If anything, her body type is fetishized in this context. It’s also another case of a “good girl to bad girl” transformation, which are archaic and, of course, sexist. With the rise of adult websites targeting minors for explicit content, this is even more reprehensible. Once again, in terms of representation, is this really what speaks to you as progressive? Groundbreaking? A girl gains control of her own narrative by having sex with lots of men. She gains control by being sexy. She gains control by dehumanizing and objectifying herself. No she doesn’t. Media controlled by men will tell this story to you thousands of times, don’t listen because she’s bigger than a size four.

ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE UNDERAGE. ALL OF THEM HAVE EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, EVEN THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS MADE CINEMATICALLY PORNIFIED. THESE SHOTS ARE MADE TO BE OBJECTIVELY SEXY. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF SOMEONE CREATING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF REALISM. IT IS ABOUT MAKING SCENES THAT SPEAK TO A MALE AUDIENCE. THAT CATER TO THE MALE GAZE. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I won’t go further into the plot, other characters, or the structure or the episodes for sake of brevity, but I felt compelled to air my thoughts on this to the void. I can only hope I was critical enough that Sam Levinson will one day see this and cry because another bad feminist thinks something that he made sucks

[jeongjaebae]

To the boy I’ve always loved

⇢ Younghoon x reader, 1.3k, fluff fluff fluff, best friends to lovers!!!!!

⇢ Out of the five letters you send to your past crushes, somehow only one makes its way to its recipient.

"There's no response from any of them," you sigh. "Was it too much to expect a reply? Maybe I'm just not likable."

Younghoon nods at your words from where he's walking home by your side but doesn't say anything. He's strangely quiet but it's not unusual since he never seems to be very interested in your love life, often choosing to remain silent or react with very short acknowledgements before changing the subject.

So you had been quite surprised that he was the one to suggest the idea of sending out letters to your past crushes in the first place. And perhaps that had been a big part of the reason you'd actually went ahead with filling pages with nostalgic memories of the past and brief moments in time when there may have been a spark between you and these people. But it wasn't anything too deep as there hadn't been anyone you really had feelings for in the past; you mainly just sent them for the sake of wanting to experience what's it's like being the main character for once in your life.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it," Younghoon says slowly. His gaze was trained forward though you knew your best friend well enough to see that there was something on his mind.

"It was just for fun," you shrug. "No harm done if they don't reply, and if they do, we can see how to go from there."

It was definitely nerve-wracking waiting for a response though.

You'd been afraid that it would be awkward in class today since you delivered Juyeon's letter a couple of days ago, however the guy hadn't even spared a glance at you. If anything, it seemed like he hadn't read the letter at all. Maybe that was a good thing because then he wouldn't know about how you'd found him cute since fourth grade and briefly liked him after he helped you up when you'd fallen off the monkey bars. It was a nice memory, even more so when Younghoon had bought you ice cream afterwards.

"Were you hoping any of them would reply?"

"Hmm." You sneak a glance at him to see that his lips are pressed, brows furrowed. "Maybe one of them."

If Sunwoo had read his, there was no indication at all today as he made faces at you in calculus when the teacher wasn't looking. Maybe it was better that he didn't find out your friendly academic rivalry had made you feel some type of way at some point, and that you didn't actually need the hours of study sessions you spent with him. After all, your best friend was already the best study buddy you could have.

"Y/N..."

"Hmm?"

There was no way of knowing whether Hyunjae and Eric read the letters you delivered to them, but it's been a few days and there's only been radio silence as your answer so far.

Younghoon sighs and finally turns to you as the two of you approach his house. "Y/N, it's not you. You're likable, okay? They just... haven't read the letters."

"How would you know that?"

His eyes wander as he hesitates to answer, but you already had a feeling what he was going to say. "Because I—I stole them," he finally says. "The letters. I stole them from their porches before they could be read."

"But you literally told me to send these letters," you say, confused that your best friend would act in such a way. Couldn't he just be supportive of your non-existent love life for once? It seemed like every time you had something borderline romantic going on in your life, he'd be the one to ruin it if it hadn't been already ruined by you first. "So why are you going back on your words now? Why would you do such a thing?"

"I—I didn't want you to get hurt," he says softly. His eyes meet yours briefly before they flicker away. "The suggestion was just a joke anyways; I didn't think you'd actually send them out."

"Younghoon, I'm your best friend, not your little sister. You don't have to protect me from getting hurt. Besides, pain is just part of the experience. How am I supposed to live out this main character life if it doesn't fully encompass all the emotions?"

"You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He reaches into his bag and pulls out the four envelopes with the names written in your neat scrawl. "I only managed to get back four of the five letters though, so you might still get a response from the last person."  

You sigh, taking the letters from him and quickly stuffing them in your bag.

Maybe it was a terrible idea after all. Things don't usually turn out like in fictional books and movies anyways, so maybe this was meant to happen to save you from a lifetime of embarrassment. Now that you think about it, you didn't even want to imagine the way Sunwoo would clown you if he ever read your letter.

"No, maybe you're right," you say, "I don't think I'll send these after all... they're too cringe-worthy."

"Really?" Younghoon looks up at you in surprise. "No, Y/N, I really didn't mean to stop you but it's just that I've liked—"

Even if you were avoiding his gaze, you're aware of the exact moment he looks behind you and sees the last white envelope sitting on the sill of his window by the porch. The one with his name written in a font all too familiar as it was identical to the rest of the letters that he's already seen.

"Yeah, um. The four letters that you took were mostly just for fun. The one that you didn't take is the one I was hoping to get a response from the most..." you trail off.

He goes to pick it up carefully and glances at you with wide eyes. There's some surprise there but you could see the ways his face lights up and his body sags with relief as he takes out the letter.

As his eyes skim over the page, you know that he's recalling all of the memories you'd shared over the years. Spending summers at the local playground as kids, awkward middle school dances, how he went from being the same height as you to much taller now. The realization that the reason you couldn't crush on anyone else was because the right one was beside you the entire time.

The other letters are probably crushed when your bag falls to the ground and he's so close as he always is, but it feels different than before. Maybe it's felt different for a while now, but you find yourself wondering when he became so attractive, when his familiar face and presence became something that wasn't familiar at all with the way you felt slightly strange as the butterflies fluttered in your stomach and in your heart.

"You beat me to it," Younghoon says when he looks up. "I was planning on telling you first, but I just didn't know how. Y/N, maybe it was selfish, but this was the reason why I stole your letters. I've liked you for so long and just didn't want to see you falling for someone else."

"Did you not expect a letter? I thought you told me to send them just so that you might get one," you tease. The nervous pounding of your heart shifts into a bud of hope at his words and you can't help the way your lips curl upwards.  

"Ah, I was indeed hoping for one but didn't think it would actually happen."

"You don't need to steal letters when you've already stolen my heart."

And when his eyes curve as he smiles and it warms you like the sun on your face, you know that the other letters didn't matter, never mattered when this was the only letter worth sending at all.

[mira--mira]

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. For the meme thing 👀

Uhh, my brain completely skipped over the "3" part so I made a slightly longer list, here we go 😅. These aren't in any particular order of favorites and are all authors that I've enjoyed 3+ of their fics which is my informal way to measure the difference between "wow I really like this author" rather than "wow I realy like this fic".

(To no one's surprise it's another hashimada author rec list, though they've all written other things to, that I'm sure are equally as wonderful.)

Makkoska @makkoskafanfic

Their fic "First Kiss" was the fic that really sold me on hashimada as a ship. It wasn't the first fic I had read with the pairing, but definitely the one that made the most impact on me when I was getting into Naruto and the Founders era. I also really like their newer fics, especially the different kinds of modern AUs, (Lost & Found series, Homecoming, etc.) those are usually hard for me to get into, but I really like the different premises and I think they're all done really well!

deepestbluest @asotin

Buddy! Her first fic I read was "Carbon" and is one of my favorite what-ifs that explored a Madara that left the village but still regulalry returned, if only for a bit. "Pull me in, begin" and "'Cause it's the early days" are both modern AU fics that feature a blind!Madara and "Tie a Rope Around My Soul" features a deaf!Hashirama and I really liked them as there's not a lot of fics that explore disabilities, even fewer that feature them prominently without making it a fic solely about said disability (I hope that makes sense?)

AndreyaHalms @andreyahalms

An extremely versatile writer that makes me like AUs I didn't think I would (ie "On the Nature of Romance" is the only straight hashimada fic that I'm interested in reading lol). "Dual Wielding" is one of my favorite mythology AUs in this fandom and is absolutely hilarious as is "road to burn" a superhero AU. Their sense of humor is exactly my kind of humor and even in more serious stories there's always small bits woven in that I find really impressive, not to mention their skill with writing is top-notch all around!

selwyn (I don't know their @/ on tumblr, sorry!)

This is a little embarassing, but this is probably my favorite hashimada smut writer. They hit that perfect 'smut with feelings' golden zone where the relationship is believable and you're not smacked in the middle of what's supposed to be an emotional, loving scene with one character calling the other 'bitch', 'slut', or other kind of degrading language that is used way too much in smut for my tastes. "Sultry" and "not another pollen joke" are the best of these and I read both very carefully when I first wrote Oasis and Exertion trying to evoke the same kind of emotion and physical scenes, they were done so well! On the not-smut side "winter's night" is one of my favorite short one shots ever and "not much longer" is a great study of why Madara hates Tobirama that goes beyond killing Izuna.

Rouge_Angle/enquiring_angel @enquiringangel

God how do you write short one-shots that stay short but are still emotional and wonderful? Please share your secrets! In addition to writing amazing one-shots, they're also one of my favorite fluff writers, "Even When We're Old and Grey", "Yuki-Daruma" , "Warmth in Winter" and "Sleeping Trouble" are all highlights of this, especially "Sleeping Trouble", and are set in canonverse. But my favorite fic of theirs, which...also could be considered fluff in its own way, is "Accipiter" which has one of the best summaries that basically sells itself: "A short AU where Madara is a tengu and Hashirama is literally a tree."

[itsclydebitches]

Why do people get hung up on whether a gay person in media is a good or bad representation of them? I'm gay and I can tell you we aren't all the same? Being gay is our 1 common trait. So as long as they're gay then you've done it. Gay people can be kind, mean, racist, open, kinky, reserved, shy, outgoing, sexist, and literally anything else under the human experience.

Because I am perpetually hungry, let's tell a story about cookies.

You are a bright-eyed, optimistic, baker in the making. Your goal is to wow the world with your culinary skills, so of course you head to The Best Baking School for your degree. Over the course of your studies you learn how to perfect a thousand different cakes, an equal number of pies, and more versions of brownies than most would even assume exist. But cookies... oh, cookies are your passion! You can't wait to learn about the wealth of cookies you can make too. Then, sure enough, that part of your education finally arrives.

Funny thing is though, it's just chocolate chip.

Surely there's been some mistake? The cookie experience is vast and nuanced! Why in the world are your instructors — supposedly the best in the world — reducing cookies to a single class about baking chocolate chip and chocolate chip alone? Hell, why are cookies so sparse in the curriculum as a whole? You're never asked to bake them as a demonstration, or practice with them, and they're definitely not a given across everyone else's baking experience. Cakes, pies, and brownies... they're the default. Cookies are comparatively rare and when you do get to study them, everyone is super focused on the chocolate chip.

Then you graduate and head out into the world, only to find that pretty much everyone is as cookie-blind as your school. A few years back you never would have found cookies in the average grocery store and yeah, the fact that there's a cookie section now is great, but it's, uh... all chocolate chip! Many bakeries still don't carry cookies at all, but when they do it's - again - chocolate chip. Chocolate chip out in restaurants. Chocolate chip at the bake sale. Your friend invites you over and proudly presents a massive sweets tray that includes a single, sad looking, chocolate chip cookie. They beam at you in pride. Isn't it so great?

"Uh..." you say. "Well..."

Every once in a while someone will switch out milk chocolate for dark chocolate, or add nuts alongside chocolate chips. One bakery was even crazy enough to exclude chocolate chips entirely! Crazy according to the press, anyway. Because for years now you've been shaking your head, wondering what exactly is so progressive about realizing that sugar cookies exist. You've found other bakers interested in cookies and, by god, there are thousands. So many flavors! Gluten free and allergy conscious! Someone even made a sweets tray that was predominantly cookies, can you believe it? The problem is, almost none of them are mainstream. Your friend baking cookies out of their personal kitchen is doing fantastic work, but their baking doesn't have the impact that those grocery chains and established bakeries do. Their work isn't going to fix your school's curriculum. Too many people still think that cookies are exotic somehow. They're not the default. And when they do acknowledge their existence, it's chocolate chip over and over. Until one of them adds those nuts and suddenly the whole country is losing its mind about how inspired, creative, progressive their baking is. Meanwhile, you're ready to scream because that baker doesn't even know that something as "exotic" as a gingersnaps exist!

The worst part? Most of these cookies are... bad. Like they exist, yeah, but good god most don't taste good. And that's the whole point of a cookie?? What is the point of buying cookies if the cookies themselves are awful? You go to these bakeries, these restaurants, your friend's house, and you try the very limited cookies on offer, only to find that they've been sloppily baked. Doesn't anyone care that the baker burned their cookies to a crisp? That another straight up forgot to add sugar? This one dropped his on the floor and still tried to serve it to you! But the overall sense is that you should be grateful for getting any cookies at all. "That cookie is an offense to my taste buds," you say and people shake their head at you, disappointed. "I liked the taste of it," one says. "If you don't like it, go buy a different cookie!" Well... easier said than done. "It's not that bad," another says, shrugging in defeat. "I mean yeah, I don't really like it, and the baker stopped making them two years ago... but I'm just happy to have had any cookie at all, you know?" You do know, but that doesn't mean it's any less frustrating. You look at the hundreds of cakes available, these bakers spending decades perfecting their recipes, and wish cookies had even a fraction of that work put into them. You find people who agree with you, absolutely, but there's this this prevailing sense that a cookie is a cookie. Any cookie will do. Supposedly.

Except go long enough and you feel like you're ready to lose your mind. You take some poor person by the shoulders and go, "Doesn't this bother you? Doesn't this make you furious? There is more to the cookie world than these three flavors, 90% of which is chocolate chip! And we deserve well-made cookies, not the crap they've been upholding as the next culinary masterpiece!"

But this person just shakes their head. "Well of course there's more to cookies than three flavors. There's a huge variety of cookies! I know that."

"Yes, but the world isn't selling that variety."

"Of course they are! Just last week I had an oatmeal raisin. That's amazing!"

"Yeah and how many years did it take you to find that?"

"Well..."

"And how did that oatmeal raisin cookie taste?"

Your prisoner pulls a face. "Ugh, not good. Oatmeal raisin is definitely not for me. It's hard as a rock! I really don't understand why someone would want to eat that on a regular basis."

"But it's not supposed to be hard as a rock!" you cry, waving your arms. "That's the problem! Oatmeal raisin is so goddamn rare and then the one time we get it, it was badly baked. Of course people are turned off by it. Everyone who already loves oatmeal raisin is getting pissed because their favorite cookie is misrepresented, they're unlikely to see more of them now, and everyone is still serving the most tasteless chocolate chip cookies I've ever had, acting like this is the pinnacle of cookie baking! Do you even know that a macron exists?"

The person pats your hand consolingly. "Of course I do. My roommate's sister's boyfriend used to bake macrons, you know. I don't know why you're so hung up on this. Cookies can be whatever the baker wants them to be. Provided they're a flat-ish sweet cake, they're still a cookie!"

You hang your head, giving up. "Yes, they can be so many things, but they're not. Let me know if you ever find a bakery actually making the variety you keep acknowledging exists. Bonus points if those cookies are edible. My soul if they're delicious, as a cookie should be."

"You know," they say, still patting your hand. "There's a bakery making chocolate chip with dark chocolate next year. Everyone is talking about it. You should think about buying one before they take it off the menu!"

You contemplate just walking into the ocean.

Now, incredibly long metaphor concluded... switch out "cookies" for "queer rep"! The representation matters because no, just making them gay isn't enough right now. You're right that queer people can be anything under the sun, but right now media isn't providing us with that variety. It's not enough to acknowledge that such variety exists, it actually has to make it into our books and onto our screen. Taking just characters who identify as gay and putting aside the HUGE variety of other identities for a moment (of which we are mostly lacking in terms of rep), where are the gay asexuals? The gay people of color? The disabled gays? Trans gays? Did your gay character appear for just a handful of episodes? Were they killed off? Are they nothing more than a stereotype or comic relief? Is this the only gay character in your entire story? We need to ask questions like this because though gay people can be anything under the sun, our media landscape has only shown a miniscule portion of that variety.

Today, even in 2021, our representation of gay people is still pretty limited to:

You are only coded as gay and evil

You are only coded as gay and queerbaited

You are canonically gay, but a cis, ablebodied, white person

You are canonically gay, but were written terribly/killed off/punished by the narrative/generally making the real gay people watching you feel awful about their identity

You are canonically gay, but you're not human. Gotta other the queerness by making you an alien/robot/fantasy being

You are canonically gay and that's your entire existence. There is one (1) narrative of how you knew by the time you were four, never questioned your identity after that, suffered through a family that rejected you, and now all your major arcs revolve around being gay. You are gay and that is it.

Despite being a list of six, that's still incredibly limiting. Are there exceptions to such a list? Always, but that doesn't mean the list isn't still dominating. We can look at any individual gay character and say, "Of course they can be evil/white/killed off/a joke/etc. because gay people can be anything at all," but when we look at the trends, when we look at ALL the media together, we see that gay people aren't actually depicted as being anything... they're depicted as being these handful of things, severely limiting how gayness is represented. Bad rep. If you hit up the bakery and question why there's only versions of chocolate chip available yeah, the baker can go, "But cookies can be any flavor! Including chocolate chip!" They are not, technically, wrong. The problem is not that chocolate chip exists, but that chocolate chip dominates and other flavors are rare, ignored entirely, or baked so badly it's actively damaging to that flavor as a whole. Yeah, your gay character can be mean. Or kinky. Or murdered by the story. But when so many gay characters are mean and kinky and murdered by their stories — when you're not getting other versions to balance that out and gay characters are still rare enough that it's just 1-2 characters trying to carry representation for an entire franchise — you start realizing that the claim of "Gay people can be anything else under the human experience" is an easy way to shut down the conversation of whether that variety actually exists in our storytelling yet.

It's not enough for the baker to acknowledge that yeah, of course there are hundreds of cookie flavors and of course cookies taste great! They've actually got to learn how to bake them properly and fill up their store with them.

[annemaynova]

the ableism in Last Legacy

so, i wasnt gonna make a post for the main tags but after seeing some folks agree ive decided to speak up Once Again.

in Last Legacy, there is a lot of casual ableism that is written off as a joke--usually directed at Felix. Before going into the ableism itself, we need to acknowledge how Felix is heavily coded as neurodivergent. (i have adhd, so most of my analysis is from the pov of a adhd player)

Felix is characterized by other characters as a ‘talented but lazy mage’, and is often critisized for said laziness--despite the fact that he’s not lazy at all. He spent years studying a spell, willingly studied necromancy--which is illegal. if he were lazy, he wouldve given up on both long ago.  he has shown to be hard working in his relentless research towards finding the spirit thief in his route, as well as being very fixated on his hobbies (taxidermy, necromancy, novels); all of this is something i, a person with adhd, can heavily relate to.

Additionally, Felix is passionate, emotional & impulsive--all traits associated with adhd. Adhd is a lack of regulation with focus, emotions & reactions, all traits Felix exhibits, as he spends hours upon hours studying areas of interest--sometimes even to the point of neglecting to take care of himself. Also, many people with adhd (and other neurodivergences) experience being a gifted child, only to burn out later in life. (in felix’s case this is shown in the expectations Escell thrust upon him, then Felix being expelled. even it being on purpose by felix is something people who have gifted kid burnout can relate to)

as a person with adhd, im very used to criticism; “youre so lazy” “thats stupid” “i thought you were better than this”. Felix receives similar criticism, from both characters we are supoosed to dislike, AND ones we are supposed to like. Anisa calls him lazy, and is incredibly harsh on him upon learning he fucked up the spell. Escell calls him stupid (although with more elegant wording) and even Sage and MC make fun of Felix’s interests (mainly his books).

Felix is shown to be embarrassed by his hobbies (both his books & taxidermy are sore spots) and the fact that these hobbies are also ridiculed is rude in it’s own right, but when you realize those hobbies may be one of his only sources of genuine joy (outside of mc, maybe) it becomes a little more hurtful.

focusing on ableism though, many characters refer to Felix as stupid, lazy or childish. His inability to cook is never mentioned outright in game, but the devs often make fun of Felix’s preference for olives, as well as generally using Felix’s inability to cook as a joke--as well as his ““laziness”“. We all remember the meme about what the characters do when the dishes are dirty, right?

(if you missed it, it was making fun of felix being too ‘lazy’ to do dishes and eat out of shoes instead. it felt very gross and ableist.)

Felix’s story is also about him proving he isnt in need of protection, as many characters seem to believe he isnt capable of taking care of himself--this infantilization is something many disabled folk face, though admittedly it seems to be a plot point in his route, but fans and devs are also guilty of perpetuating the idea that he is inexperienced, naive, childish.

All in all, most of the ableism comes from jokes made by fans and devs outside of the game, but the fact that Felix is perceived as lazy by the entire cast is something to consider. Many jokes are made about his laziness, despite the fact that he proves with his actions that he is far from lazy.

TL;DR, Felix is coded as neurodivergent (leaning towards ADHD or ASD) and the traits that imply this are often made fun of and ridiculed, in some cases used as a joke by fans and the developers, and its upsetting to neurodivergent players.

[daydream-believin]

What About the Smaller Picture (2)

Summary: Merlin knows best. And what he feels is best for you and Douxie right now is to sit around and wait for him to come back from New Jersey, Merlin-knows-when. (2) Your first day in Arcadia, it sure is something. (1) - (3)

Warnings: swearing, proofing is for nerds

Word Count: 2211

a/n: i hope to be able to make you feel the awkwardness radiating off of every part of this series

Hisirdoux’s special welcome tour didn’t exactly do its job of making you feel welcome. You supposed that was more of a problem with you than the town. It definitely wasn’t of any fault of Hisirdoux’s. If anything, he was being a little too warm. It almost felt fake.

People appeared to like Hisirdoux. All across town, he would greet friends, introduce you to them. Kinda like he was showing you off. You did not know what for. He barely knew you, yet he talked about you like you were an old friend returned to him. Like he was proud of you or something. You supposed he was establishing a cover story. And you weren’t sure why. Why not just say you were new in town? What tracks was he trying to cover here.

You stopped paying too much attention to what Hisirdoux was telling others about you. He was telling them that he cared for you. That he missed you. It was a lie, sure. But just hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth were making you melt. It had been so long that it was hard for you to recall the last time a person said such nice things about you. That was sad. You supposed the blush on your face did good to add to the story he was telling. Made it more believable. You felt really pathetic that this guy you barely knew lying through his teeth about you was actually making you blush as if it was real. As if anyone really thought those nice things he said about you in real life. Man that’s really sad. Moving on.

The town itself looked a little rough. Like it had seen better days. It was apparently a hub of magic, so it probably had. A lot of the damage you saw looked very recent though. That made sense. The whole reason you wound up here was because you befriended a girl traveling with a pack of trolls migrating from this very town. When asked why they were migrating, Claire, the girl, had told you that their home had been destroyed in a recent battle. “The Eternal Night” they called the battle. You, of course, knew about such eternal night. You had heard of the prophecy, you just didn’t expect it to happen in your lifetime. And you may had freaked out just a tad when it came along earlier that month, the unexpected solar eclipse confusing you and your studies before you figured out what was happening. However, you had assumed the battle took place underground, you know, cause trolls. The town you explored with Hisirdoux told a different story. At one point you saw a troll walking by, under an umbrella, following a red-headed human woman with a baby in her arms. And the locals didn’t seem to care. No one batted an eye. Strange town.

What really baffled you though was what happened later in the day, back at the bookstore, when you cast a simple spell. Nothing too flashy, just a little levitation on a book Hisirdoux had sent you to find up on a high shelf you couldn’t reach. When he saw you, Doux made a really panicked gasping sound. He threw himself in front of you, shielding you from the people who were not even there, startling you, and throwing off your focus. The book landed on both of you with a thunk.

“You can’t do that,” his voice was hushed despite you two being the only ones in the shop at the moment, “It’s business hours. The mortals don’t know about wizards and they shouldn’t see magic,” he stressed.

“But- uh,, They look just fine with the trolls?” Confusion was written across your face.

“That’s different. It’s different. Look, the situation is weird, okay,” He made a little X with his hands. “But I can’t have you casting spells around the shop. Or in public, period. The mortals can’t see anything, okay?”

“Okay, okay. My bad. I won’t do it again- Promise.” Your face was hot with embarrassment. This was your fault for assuming. Fuck, he probably thinks you’re a wild card now or something. Not a good start to your professional life here. Or your relationship with this Adonis who’s reprimanding you.

“While there are some other wizards around town that I’ll introduce you to tonight, to stay safe, generally just keep the magic for when we’re alone and out of sight.”

“Oh, yeah, uh- Okay”

He grinned. Suddenly, he leaned in, catching you off guard. “It can be a special thing,” His voice was even softer as he was so close to you, “just between the two of us.”

Oh. So he meant when just You and Him were alone and out of sight. Ooookaaaayyyy. He winked to you as he separated himself from your side, and went off to the back of the store to continue unpacking a shipment he had just got in. He left you there, clutching that damn book to your chest, face now hotter than before, if that was even possible at all. Oh no.

Fuck, it was fucking day one. Day one! Day fucking one and you were developing a crush. NOPE. This was not something you were going to do. Uh-uh. Nein. There was no fucking time for this. Well, you didn’t really know how much time you had with Merlin and his addiction to being perceived as mysterious or whatever the hell was wrong with that asshole you worked for now, but the point is you did not have time for this! Hisirdoux was too much. Merlin really should have had the decency to warn you that he was hot. This wasn’t fair. Not only was Doux beautiful, but he was a touchy person. You weren’t going to stand a chance.

The thing is you had been sooo worried about how you and Hisirdoux were going to get along, you even brought up the concern to Merlin. To be honest, you had thought the old wizard to just be annoyed at your worrying, and that’s why he reassured you it’d all be fine. That you and Hisirdoux would get along swimmingly or whatever just get out of my hair kid. You were so afraid Hisirdoux would have to warm up to you like a cat being introduced to a new kitten. Afraid that he’d resent you since you were technically Merlin’s apprentice too now in a sense. And he was used to being number one, no one else to compete with for Merlin’s sparse pride since Morgana went astray. Merlin assured you Hisirdoux was very friendly. But like, would it kill the geezer to give you a warning that he’d be too friendly.

While you were having your little crisis, Douxie was humming along to the song in his head, stacking up the new books onto a display, trying his absolute dilly darndest not to think about what just happened. What he did. That wasn’t weird, right? Oh fuzzbuckets, he did something weird. He was just so used to playing up the flirty persona he’d developed he hadn’t even stopped to think about if he’d be making you uncomfortable. And he really wanted you to be comfortable. Plus, he felt pretty guilty he had to stop your tour around town to go accept a shipment he forgot. Strangely, he was really concerned about the impression he was giving you. Caring about what another person thought of him was not very in character for him. Not counting Merlin, of course. He was going to have to make this up to you. He really needed you to think he was cool. For professional reasons, of course. Definitely.

~ ~ ~

“SO! I recommend the steak because it’s the least disgusting thing on the menu.”

You gaped at the wizard sitting across from you in this sticky booth, peeping your head over the kitschy French-themed menu you held. He had no menu. In fact he refused to even touch it. Great. What did he know.

“I- What do mean ‘least disgusting’, Casperan.” You were almost afraid to ask.

“I mean that kitchen is filthy and the steak is your best bet for something edible.”

“Why. Why would you bring me here if the food is terrible.”

You were always weary of greasy chain restaurants, but you had expected this one to be at least a little decent, since it was a smaller Cali chain and Hisirdoux had fucking brought you to it your first day in the town. Surely he was kidding.

“I just wanted to show you where I worked nights. So you’d be able to find me easier if there’s any trouble. Besides, you can’t say you’ve been to California if you haven’t had Mr. Benoit’s. It’s like In-N-Out burger. Remind me to take you to an In-N-Out burger later this week.”

You blinked. “Oh – uh, okay.”

Hisirdoux continued, “I can’t have my phone turned on during my shifts so you’ll have to come get me directly if it’s a big enough problem. Make up an emergency. Are you good at improve?”

You looked around the restaurant, getting a feel for its layout, taking notice of where the kitchen and back doors were located, making mental notes of all exits. “Ah, well, I’m good at lying, if that’s what you’re asking…”

“Good enough.”

The waiter came to take your orders. Hisirdoux shared an inside joke with him. It should have been awkward, them laughing away at something you didn’t understand why you sat there quietly, but you were a little too fixated on how pretty Hisirdoux looked when he laughed. It was mesmerizing. The waiter took your order. You got the steak.

~ ~ ~

It was very important for you to establish connections in Arcadia’s wizard underground. Or at least that’s what Hisirdoux thought. You weren’t particularly a social butterfly. It’s not that you didn’t like having a large group of friends or anything, you just never really had a reason to have one. And Doux was hell bent on introducing you to every person in this town in one day apparently. You had met twenty-three wizards in counting over the last hour being shepherded through this off-brand apple store. You had so far learned no names. How did he expect you to remember these peoples names.  Scratch that. You knew one name. Zoe. Just because she was very annoyed at your and Hisirdoux’s presence in her workplace, and was very vocal about it. That being said, she didn’t make any real effort to get you to leave. You wished she would though. You were getting overwhelmed. Today had been incredibly stressful, with a lot of information to take in, and with only a brief rest when Doux was handling things at the bookstore. You wanted to go home. Geez, home. You realized that Hisirdoux had yet to show you home. Where was home.

You tugged on his hand to grab his attention. “Hey, I’m- uh – tired? Really tired. Can - can we go home?”

“OH. Yes! Home. Right away. Yes.”

Douxie possibly maybe had been avoiding home all day. It just, it wasn’t much. He had no idea how you were going to react. His space was small already without adding another person to it. Of course, it wasn’t any smaller than any of the one-room cottages that entire families used to share, but it was tiny for modern standards. Okay to be frank it was a back room. Not technically even an actual apartment. But it was his home. And now it was your home too.

Okay, so Hisirdoux lived in his bookstore. What was probably supposed to be a break room was his entire living space. It was… cozy. You set the backpack that carried everything you owned down on the floor and headed for the lumpy plaid sofa. It was nice and old, like a sofa should be. The plaid pattern covered any stains that might have been there. Hisirdoux sat down next to you, starting to fiddle with his hands. You looked around, took it all in. The was a kitchenette off to one side, a bed to the other side. The sofa was in the sort of middle ground. Notably, there was no table, barely any counter space, and various teacups on the coffee table, so it was a safe bet that he just ordered take out every night and ate it on the sofa. The twin bed was on the ground, and the quilts that covered it had visible holes. It struck you that this bed was the only one in the room. The one room.

“So I’ll take the sofa, until we get you a bed. I’ll, uh, figure something out with the space. We can put up curtains or something.” It was if he had read your mind.

You nodded, unsure of anything to add. This was,,,, going to be fun. A challenge. A test to see how long you can act normal while living in extremely close quarters with a funny medieval supermodel. Merlin help you. Something moved in the corner of your eye. You gasped.

“Kitty!”

“Oh, that’s Archie.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Talking kitty. How bout that.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Melting Wax, Crawling Vines (Vincent Sinclair x Fem!Reader)

Next Chapter ->

Warnings: knife mention, implied running away

Word Count: 2093

I'm warning y'all now that this is gonna be one of the darkest, if not the darkest, series I've ever written. There will be major trigger warnings later, and if you check out my ao3 you can get a feel for how bad they will be. Otherwise, enjoy!

You stared at the underneath of the hood of your car. Something was wrong, you just didn't know what . Sure, you knew how to change a tire and how to check your oil. You could probably put in a new battery if you really needed to. But when it came to just about everything else, well - You didn't know your ass from your elbows. It didn't help that you didn't necessarily have a tool box in your car. You used to, but you'd taken it out to make space for your move. Yeah, you had just about everything you owned that would fit into your little station wagon packed into it. Except a toolbox. The rest of your belongings was in a truck, which was definitely gonna make it to your new apartment before you did at this rate. 

You sighed, running a hand through your hair as the Louisiana sun beat down on your neck. It was early July. You thought making the move before the fall started would've been a good decision, and it was one you'd stand by, but you just wished it wasn't so hot . It was early afternoon and the sun was at its highest. You swiped at the sweat on your brow, shut the hood of your car, and went to get the map out of your glove box. You tried to pinpoint where you were, but it was nearly impossible without any nearby towns to use as a landmark. Finally, you realized what you needed to do. Just as the first car you'd seen pass by started coming down the road.

You waved your hand, trying to flag down the blue chevrolet truck that was speeding down the back road. You almost expected it to pass you, but it slowed down to a stop. When it did, the first thing that hit you was the smell. You tried not to make a face of disgust as a man with a dirty face lowered his window to greet you. His driver side door was red, and he grinned out from under a green cap.

"Hi, there. Need a hand?" He asked, and you gave him a grateful smile. He'd stepped out to assess the damage, rubbing his hands together as he came towards your vehicle. You guessed the roadkill in the back was the cause of the smell, and you were too polite to comment. Instead, you told him your name and said,

"I'm having car trouble, but I- Well, I don't really know what's wrong with it." And the man responded with,

"The names Lester," And he paused to give you a friendly grin. "I'll take a look and see if I can figure it out." He said, and you quickly thanked him. You watched as his eyes landed on the things stuffed into your car. "You heading somewhere?" He asked, and you rubbed your neck before you helped him pop open the hood.

"I'm moving, or, at least, trying to." You supplied the name of the town you were moving to, and he gave you a grin as he looked up from where he'd been studying the interior of your vehicle to say,

"Oh, I know that town. About an hour- hour and a half from here?" And you nodded. That'd been your original estimate for your arrival. Now, you were lucky if you made it there today. The two of you chatted politely, but he ended up closing the hood with a click and shaking his head. "I'm sorry, miss, but this is beyond me." He admitted, and you still said,

"Well, thank you for trying. Do you happen to know if there's a tow-truck company nearby- Or a mechanic?" You asked. He stared at you for a moment, and he almost looked hesitant to tell you. He was thumbing his chin, before he finally said,

"There's one about fifteen minutes from here." And you tilted your head. You hadn't seen any towns on your map, let alone one that close. But you weren't one to argue with a local. He continued, saying, "Bo runs the car shop in Ambrose. I can take you if you want." And gratitude filled you. While you knew he was a strange man, you weren't exactly in the position to deny the kindness of strangers. Plus, Lester seemed harmless, even if you knew from experience that you weren't always the best judge of characters. Still, you reminded yourself that it was either hitch a ride with him or wait for the next car to come along. If any did come along . So, you pushed away any potential paranoia and asked,

"Are you sure? Only if it won't be too much trouble." You said, and you watched the way his grin grew wider and wider.

"No trouble at all, miss." And that was all it took for you to pile into Lesters truck. You brought a backpack of yours, and filled it with your wallet, a water, and a change of clothes with all your toiletries. You figured, worse case scenario, you ended up renting a night at whatever motel Ambrose held while Bo, the man Lester had mentioned, tried to fix whatever was wrong with your car. You’d made sure to lock it, hoping that no one would strip or break into your car.

The smell was stronger in his truck, but you did your best to ignore it. You figured it would be impolite to mention it, and even moreso to ask him to roll down the windows. Lester wasn't one for silences, and he asked,

"So, why you moving out here anyways?" He asked, and you thought that was a fair question to ask. You were from a more populated city, and your new town was nowhere near as crowded. You pushed your hair behind your ear, and supplied,

"Oh, new job." And Lester was quick to ask before you could elaborate.

"Oh, congratulations. What do ya do?" And you gave him a smile. He was friendly and sweet, albeit a little rough around the edges. He was one of the friendlier people you'd met, and you figured your new town would be just swell if it had more people like him.

"I'm a teacher. I teach ASL." You told him, answering what you guessed his next question was going to be before he had the chance to ask. When he turned to look at you, a small bit of confusion on his face, you were quick to say, "American sign language." And clarity washed through his face.

"Oh, why they need a- an ASL teacher over there?" He asked, and you played with the edge of your jeans. You knew about the job description, but you didn't want to tell him that you'd jumped at the first opportunity you saw to fill a position. Hoped for something as far from your hometown as possible. As far away from- You stopped that train of thought. You didn't want to think about him . This was supposed to be a new start, and instead you told him,

"I'm teaching some older students as a night class," By older students, you meant adults. "And then some kindergarten students." And you watched as a laugh escaped his lips. He slapped his hand against the steering wheel, before he said,

"What do kindergartners need to know about sign language?" And you bit your lip. You felt as thought you'd given this talk about a thousand times before, but it didn't stop you before you said,

"Well, some of the kids are deaf, but some of them may just be nonverbal. This is a way for them to communicate when speaking feels like too much. And the night classes are for their parents, I'm assuming, so they can understand their kids. It's important, y'know, for them to have a way to express themselves, even if it's different from how most people do it. Some kids are just special cases." You explained it kindly with a shrug. Surely, it seemed obvious to you, but you were well aware that not everyone knew how useful the skill could be. He made a face, one where he nodded and jut out his lip. He rubbed his chin again, before he asked,

"Nonverbal, huh? Like mute?" He asked, and you gave him a nod. He nodded back, before looking out the windshield. "Sign language for mute kids. Express themselves. Huh." The truck was only silent for a beat. “You get lots of special cases?” He asked, and you couldn’t stop the smile that graced your lips.

"I specialize in special cases." You joked, and Lester was quick to laugh. He made a little hoot, seeming pleasantly surprised by your willingness to joke or perhaps by how comfortable you seemed with him. You smiled to yourself, enjoying the company of your new friend. Even if he wasn't from the town you were headed, it would be nice to know at least one person nearby. You'd started looking all around the truck, before your eyes fell on the man besides you. it'd been a quick glance over, getting a good look at him. You hadn't noticed it before, but you saw a knife on his hip when he lifted his shirt to mop at the sweat on the back of his neck. You'd barely glanced at it for a second before your eyes were being ripped away by his voice.

"You like knives?" He said, a tone of excitement in his voice. "Tools of the trade. You wanna see it?" And you agreed. He pulled it out, flashing the blade to you and said, "That's a bowie. Cut through anything." He said, and you agreed with a nod. To make conversation, you reached into your boot and pulled out a small pocket knife. It was much smaller compared to his, and you said,

"All I got is this, but it does the trick." And Lester let out a low whistle. He sheathed his knife back its holder, and you offered it out to him for him to examine. He pressed the button, letting the blade switch out. He looked it over. It was small and thin, but, as you said, it did the trick with most things.

"Didn't peg you as the type. What does a teacher need with a knife?" He asked as he passed it back to you, and you pushed the blade away as you answered.

"Oh, y'know, cutting up all the apples my students give me." You said, joking lightly. Lester grinned again, and you tucked your knife back into your boot. Again, you didn't want to actually get into why you had the knife with him. It was a layer of protection, something to make you feel safe. And, after the past couple of years, you weren't going to deny yourself anything extra to do that. He stopped the car, and you looked up to look around where you were. He had stopped seemingly in the middle of nowhere, right in front of a small creek. "Why- why'd we stop?" You asked him, and, for a moment, a flash of alarm rang through your head. You'd never been the best judge of character, and, for a moment, you were worried that you'd gotten yourself into another sticky situation. The same type of situation as to why you slept with that very knife under your pillow, why you'd decided to leave town- But Lester was as nonchalant as could be as he opened the door and stepped out. He said,

"Oh, I gotta flip my hubs into four wheel. You just sit tight, y'hear?" And the alarm inside your head faded. You slumped a bit, a wave of relief washing through you. He was looking at you, his hand on the door. You looked at him, the creek, and then back to him before you offered,

"You need any help?" And that same grin came over his face at your offer. He braced his arm against the open doorway as he asked,

"You know how to change a hub?" And you supposed that his skepticism was warranted. He did find you on the side of the road with a car that wasn't working. Still, you gave him a smile and sassed him just the tiniest bit as you said,

"I'm sure I can figure it out." Earning a smirk and swipe of his cheek from the man. He motioned for you to get out, and said,

"Alright then. Lemme get that door for you."

[beevean]

SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever

[Translator’s note: this article was originally written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]

Hello again! Today we’d like to discuss about something that’s been happening recently, and probably taking Sonic fans by surprise: what is going on with SEGA and its stance about Sonamy?

At the beginning of this year, to celebrate the 200 articles on Seaside Hill Paradise, I finished what I call “the Sonamy trilogy” of articles that I started in 2018 and which cover different themes, such as:

SEGA and the eternal issue of the Sonic-Amy dynamic

“I love you” – Forbidden words in Sonic

SEGA and the eternal issue of “Sonic’s girlfriend”

The idea was to offer a more-or-less complete analysis about the many facets of their dynamic in the last 27 years; a dynamic that, you may have noticed, is not that easy to pin down, and that we’ve been updating almost regularly (although I also intended to investigate on other dynamics, like Knuckles and Rouge’s for example, and write about them). Generally speaking, in these articles I don’t draw objective conclusions about the status of the ship in canon (despite the fact that the available information tends to confirm it in various occasions). I also like to repeat myself and say that shipping is supposed to be for fun, not for tearing each other’s hair in that black hole of misery that is Twitter, but recent events left us slightly perplexed, and this is why we’re here once again.

We left the status of the Sonamy canonicity with these two peculiar instances back in August: Sonic mentioning his “girlfriend” in the Japanese version of Sonic Battle, and the Twitter account of SEGA of Europe saying Sonamy is their “favorite videogame romance”. Now, let’s recap a bit…

Sonamy in Sonic IDW... Round 3

[SPOILERS ALERT FOR IDW SONIC #14-#35]

In 2018, when IDW just started, I decided to study a little how the Sonamy dynamic worked in this new universe. To our surprise, the comic didn’t waste time in dropping its biggest bomb, in one of the cutest scenes we had seen in ages. Since the very beginning, IDW proved that it didn’t intend to deceive those fans that looked for a bit of development of both characters.

I wrote an article about it in June 2019, and it coincided with the beginning of one of the most infamous arc I’ve seen in a Sonic comic for a long time: the Metal Virus Saga. The question is, what has happened since then?

Well, in 2019, with the same accuracy of an aimbot, I said “We’ll probably see some new interactions between Sonic and Amy sometime around IDW #20”. And wouldn’t you know, as misery and tragedy settled in that arc, it was exactly around IDW #20 that we saw some Sonamy interactions: both exhausted, to their limit, with a Sonic that couldn’t even touch Amy to soothe her pain, due to him being infected with the virus.

The arc developed like this in what felt like an eternity, to finally conclude in one the most absurd ways in Sonic history. But it wasn’t a complete disappointment, as, after months and months of asking and discussing on the internet about how much Sonic and Amy deserved a hug at the end of the arc… it actually happened.

Since that moment in IDW #32, we shippers thought that it was what both of them deserved after so much time spent separated and pushed to their limit to survive, but also that after the end of the arc everything would go back to normal. However, what we didn’t know was that the Sonamy train had no intention of stopping, not in IDW, nor anywhere else.

A recurring detail in IDW Sonic is that Amy’s tail starts wagging every time she sees Sonic, as if she was a happy dog. I swear, it happens every time.

Come IDW #35, once again we have some hugs and bits of dialogue between our hedgehogs. For sure, the question here isn’t their relationship itself, as it was for IDW #2, but rather the issues this arc is slowly dealing with. But it’s really nice to see them again, sharing that closeness that they’ve had in the comic since the beginning– be it with some gestures of affection, a wink, a gesture, a private joke.

My favorite image is the first one, Belle’s reaction to seeing Amy hugging Sonic. It’s like she’s thinking “oh, is she his girlfriend?”, and she wouldn’t even be wrong in thinking that.

It can’t be denied that IDW Sonic provided us the conversations and the emotions that the games seldom do. Certainly, the comic has its share of issues and it’s not really a story that I personally follow for its own merits (it’s more because it’s still Sonic, for my interest for things like this, and Belle’s existence… whom I already ship with Tails, sorry not sorry), but what it does well it does really well.

For now, we have to see how IDW Sonic will follow the development of the characters, especially in view of the closure of the current story and beyond. And we may be done with this part of the article, but there is still a lot left.

Sonamy in merchandise

Taking us completely by surprise, recently SEGA launched, in collaboration with Hot Topic, a series of Sonamy-themed t-shirts. No, seriously.

So many people told me this as soon as the voice spread (you know who you are, thank you guys for thinking about me <3), and I can’t help being still surprised that this is actually a thing. T-shirts with lines like “You’re my favorite”, “Love in the fast lane”, and my personal favorite, “S&A Forever”, with drawings of Classic Sonic and Amy… in SEGA-approved products. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal this is, even more than “Celebrate the 25 years of Sonic’s girlfriend” from 2018.

One of the things that surprised me the most (aside from how explicit they are in officializing the relationship, and the fact that there are still 2 months left before Valentine’s Day 2021), was the decision to use Classic Sonic and Classic Amy. I tried to understand this decision by analyzing the simplicity and easiness with which the Classic designs convey a message (let’s not forget that Classic Sonic was so iconic because it was specifically designed to convey his expressions without words), besides the fact that they’re inherently cuter than their modern designs. There’s also the controversial aspect of post-Adventure Sonamy, with all the dubbing and weird interpretations that the fandom made over the years… By comparison, the Classic design are a much simpler choice.

What is actually going on?

Well, let’s take a step back and think about what we just saw. The way SEGA has been recently trying to push Sonic and Amy in front view (and for the entirety of 2020, based on the articles I mentioned in the beginning) tells us the harsh truth we all have to accept sooner or later: Sonamy sells, and it sells a lot.

From a strictly business point of view, the ship is so iconic and popular, with fans and detractors alike, that it would be absurd for SEGA to ignore the chance to print these two characters and get a load of money. As I said in my 2018 article, despite the fact that in Japan Sonic isn’t as big of an icon as it is elsewhere, they know pretty well that Sonic + Amy = love, and they have huge amounts of merchandise to back it up. It’s in the West that because of different cultural values, of which we’ve already talked about, along with some internal resistance, left this aspect of the franchise a little on the side. But they’ve been trying to fix it… and how…

Let’s not forget that a decade and a half ago Sonic Team seriously favored Sonamy. They officially said it, Sonic X was their purest view of Sonic they had at the time.

Outside of the business perspective, I believe we’re facing the moment that we’ve been waiting for: it’s time they’ll establish once and for all the dynamic of these two characters, following more closely the original Japanese vision of Sonic. I said many times that, in trying to change canon, the West, especially SEGA of America, did nothing but confuse fans and generate more discussions than needed, by introducing different data and portrayals that contradict the canon established by Sonic Team.

We’ve talked about Unleashed and emotional support, about Sonic X, about the major moments that opened the door to interpreting this dynamic as something more. We don’t threaten at gunpoint those who would rather stay away, but we respond to those declarations that still try to violently discredit the simple fact that Sonic and Amy, who are most of all close friends, form in some measure a couple that, even with its imposed limitations, manages to captivate fans and not fans everywhere in the world. Even the Simpsons used it as a joke, and that says a lot.

What the future has in store for us.

Unless something else happens in this last month of 2020, this is the most complete compilation I can offer at the moment about the status of Sonamy in the fandom and in the official canon. Yes, canon.

It’s impossible to ignore the signals. As you may have noticed, I’ve been considering Sonic and Amy as an official couple, with its clarifications (for example, that at the end it’s more of a friendship, that it’s not a romantic relationship in the most explicit way, that it’s more of a personal perspective to justify a more mature vision of the relationship in the future, not right now), but nowadays I think that SEGA has spoken loud and clear. I think canon is ready to negotiate the idea that Sonic and Amy, apart from being excellent friends who would risk their lives for each other in a heartbeat, have something else on their hands (probably the other’s hand). This won’t automatically translate into a kiss, or a complete love declaration (although Sonic X came close…), or a commitment to a formal relationship like we know them in real life. SEGA canon affirms that Amy is “Sonic’s girlfriend” and nothing more. Outside of that detail, they still pretty much function as friends interacting with a little flirting here, and a little Sonic running away there. It’s the basis of their dynamic, now enhanced by the fact that SEGA is giving us a clearer message.

I think that this all may culminate in a game or an animated series, but I wouldn’t completely count on that. It is good to recognize how far the official position goes on this issue, but at the same time I want to reaffirm that there are things that are better left in the hands of the fandom, and in the meantime that IDW or any other continuity gives us hugs, winks, gestures and words of encouragement, we as the fandom will take care of exploring other avenues and hypothetical scenarios.

This is all I have to say on the matter for now, and I hope you’re happy with this wonderful Sonamy experience we’re going through – I certainly am. See you next time!

[johnkrrasinski]

illicit affair;

full masterlist

Pairings: Professor!Andy Barber x female!reader (AU) 

Word count: 2,898

Warning: SMUT!!!! fingering, blowjob (male receiving), dirty talk. (MUST BE 18+) 

Summary: you had been crushing on your sexy professor, Andy Barber since the beginning of the semester but he made it hard for you to focus in class. lucky for you, he was willing to give you the best lesson in your life though. 

a/n: this one’s written for @stargazingfangirl18​ and @navybrat817​‘s shameless hoes for chris writing challenge. i picked the prompt “your professor has a different kind of extra credit in mind.” hope you like it! leave a like and comment. enjoy! 

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There he goes again, captivating the entire room with that dashing suit and tie, making it difficult for you to breathe. Andy Barber was the professor of your criminal law class. To say he was attractive would be an understatement. The man is the living embodiment of every girl’s wildest dreams. When you first took the class, with the hopes of becoming a social worker, you didn’t expect it to be this challenging. You were confident in your own work ethic and in being a fast learner. No major was too onerous for you to ace.

Until Andy Barber walked into the class on that first day and you realized he was going to teach you for the entire semester.

You had never had a man spellbinding you this badly before. You had a few crushes here and there, but not once did they make you feel the way Andy Barber does. And you knew that it was inappropriate to lust after your professor but, it wasn’t a crime if he is a divorcé and the whole class could relate, right?

It wasn’t only wrong but it was also cruel and unfair that he succeeded in making you lose every bit of your focus whenever he was around. No matter how hard you try to pay attention to what he is lecturing about, your mind would always drift away to nasty places that you shouldn’t even be thinking about visiting. No matter how hard you try to simply open your laptop and type away the vital points that you would need to memorize for final exams, you just couldn’t. It’s like you were paralyzed by his magnetism and oh, how well did he do it.

Like how you currently had a pen stuck between your teeth as if you were fellating it because you were imagining what it would be like to have those plump lips of his on yours and so your pen had to take the beating.

You didn’t know whether he noticed you at all from where you were sitting, you always choose to sit in the middle row, where you could still see things clearly on the board but you didn’t have to feel so exposed because sitting on the front row means everyone who sat behind you could see every movement you make and you would have to deal with the uneasiness of the proximity between you and your professor gave you and you had no wish to make it worse for yourself.

It wasn’t only that he was insanely good-looking but he was also a gentleman. He always charmed the class with his humorous comments and witty jokes while he was doing a lecture or simply when he called out a student who fell asleep. He always made himself available for his students who were confused about the subject or needed guidance on some complex topics. He always greeted the class with a warm smile and he always tried to understand the struggles of being a college student.

You had lost count on how many filthy dreams you had about this man, and how many daydreams you had lost yourself in during his class or simply when you were wide awake. He truly got you on a chokehold. A part of you would sometimes wonder, how could anyone divorce this man? If he were your husband, you would feel like the luckiest woman on earth. You wouldn’t ask for anything else in life.

“Any question…?” He ended today’s session by allowing the students to raise their hands if they needed some enlightenment.

Several students raised their hands and presented their questions and he answered them all eloquently. When there was no more question asked, he dismissed the class and all of the students got out of their seats and exited the room. You were still stuck amidst of your fantasy where Professor Barber was devouring you like you were the last tasty meal on earth and he hadn’t been fed for a month. The thought of his mouth lapping your juices as his beard creating delicious friction on your inner thigh alone was enough to soak your panties.  

You didn’t realize that the class was over until everyone had left and your professor called out your name. There were only the two of you now in the room.

“Y/N? Y/N! Class is dismissed.” He shook you out of your daydream with the gentleness of his voice.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, sir I was- I’m gonna leave now.”

“Are you alright? You zoned out a little there.”

“Yeah, I’m okay, I just- I… I was thinking… of… finals. Yeah, I was thinking of finals.”

“If you need a brief tutor, I wouldn’t mind.”

“No, no! It’s fine, really, I’ll manage. Have a good day sir.” You hurriedly pack up your laptop and stationery and you immediately ran for the door. But you were abruptly stopped by his voice that had slightly shifted its tone.

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you, Miss Y/L/N, do you have a minute?”

Oh shit. This is it. This is where he is going to interrogate you for always being absentminded throughout his entire session and you are probably going to say something really idiotic and you are going to embarrass yourself or you might even spill your own secrets and he is going to get you suspended and then-

“Yes, sir.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Come here, have a seat.” He pulled a chair from one of the tables and placed it across his seat.

You nervously approached him and sat down as your hands trembled because if there’s another word to describe Andy Barber, it would be intimidating. His charisma isn’t only appealing but could also conquer his interlocutors.

“I’ve noticed that your grades have been slipping lately, why is that?”

“I just- I don’t know, maybe I’ve been really tired, sir. College can be really stressful.”

“I understand. But what puzzles me is that I did some background check on you and your grades in other subjects are doing really well. In fact, you had kept a solid 4.0 GPA for two years in a row now. So, what is the problem here, y/n?”

You gulped. Fucking hell, how the hell were you supposed to answer that? “Oh, don’t worry, it’s simply you being so ridiculously hot that you have been distracting me every time you’re lecturing. Maybe, I don’t know, if you could just bend me over on your desk and make me your girlfriend, that might help me take my mind off you.”

“I just- I’ve had a lot in my mind, sir, and it’s just- this subject is really hard,” you spoke meekly. “I promise, I will work really hard on my finals, sir. I won’t let you down.” You hoped that it was convincing enough so that you could carry on with your day and not sit here like a scared mouse.

“Final starts in two weeks,” he reminded you. “How are you going to convince me that you could wrap an entire semester within only two weeks when you have other courses demanding equal attention, y/n?”

“Um, I don’t know, maybe I’ll ask a friend to help me study. I’ll do whatever it takes to pass the test, sir. I give you my word.” Goddamnit, what the hell was he doing to you? Of course, you weren’t going to ask for anybody’s help, you were always the one who was giving help to your fellow classmates instead of needing one. Now you were just making silly excuses to get you out.

His brows furrowed. You knew he wasn’t going to buy your answer so easily. Andy took his job very seriously and it disappointed him to the extreme when one of his students wasn’t doing well in his course. It made him feel like he didn’t do enough in educating these young people. So when one of his students didn’t fulfil his expectations, he was going to address it and solve the problem together.

There was a silence that lingered between the two of you until he broke it off, “how far are you willing to go to pass this class, y/n?”

“Anything sir, I-, I care about my grades. I know I don’t show it enough but I won’t fail you this time.”

“Anything?” Suddenly, the expression on his face transitioned into something impish.

“Yeah, anything at all, sir.”

“How about I offer you a proposition?” His tone was sultry.

“You do something for me, and I’ll make sure you get an A+ on your test. You don’t have to worry about failing.”

“What do you have in mind, sir?”

Instead of giving you a direct answer, he stood up from his seat and sat on the edge of the table. His hands were folded on his propped up thigh.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time, y/n and I want an honest answer. No bullshit or the deal is off.”

You were taken aback by the word that he just used. It wasn’t very in-character of him to cuss, especially in front of a student. You didn’t know if he was a completely different man outside of the university, so this was certainly something you weren’t used to.

“O-okay…”

“Why are you failing in my class, y/n?”

You bit your lip so hard you thought it might bleed. Your lips quivered as tears began brimming in your eyes. You were scared of telling him the truth but you knew if you lie again, he would see right through you and you would end up failing his class for real and there will be no second chance. You refused to retake the same course next semester when you could be getting closer to getting your degree.

You drooped your head down in defeat. The eye contact was overwhelming you and you sucked it up and gathered every last bit of dignity you had in you to give him an answer.

“I… I’m attracted to you, sir.”

He nodded. What you didn’t see was a wicked smirk forming on his lips, as if he knew what he was going to hear when he made you confess. “Go on.”

“I can’t stop thinking about- about making love to you, sir.” you stuttered your words. You cringed at your own words. There was no way to unring the bell now. You just humiliated yourself in front of the person whose attention you wanted the most. He disclosed your dirtiest secrets and this was going to be your doom.

“Good girl. Now, we better not stall any longer, yeah? I’ve got another class in twenty minutes.” He sat back on the chair and ordered, “get on your knees.”

“Wh… What?”

“You heard me. On your knees, I won’t tell you anymore.” his tone sent a shiver down your spine. You didn’t know what was happening but you were excited. You got on your feet and before you could even take a step, he stopped you. “No, no. Crawl.”

You stared at him incredulously as if he had just told you a joke. But you did what you were told to anyway, fearing that you would disappoint him before the act could even begin. You got on your knees with your hands on the floor and crawled to between his spread knees.

You waited for his next instruction with your hands on your thighs as your head hung low. “Take off my pants.”

Without further delay, you undid the zip of his pants and pulled the waistband down along with his boxer briefs, just enough to let his enormous cock spring free. “Good girl. You listen well. Now… you know what to do.” He rested his forearms on the arms of the chair and leaned back on the headrest nonchalantly whilst still maintaining his gaze on you.

Shit, you always fantasized about him using your body but you weren’t actually experienced. Yes, you’ve had a few casual hookups now and then, but it was nothing like this. Your professor who seemed to really enjoy turning you into a puddle by simply commanding you around like his own personal sex slave.

“C’mon, sweetheart, don’t act like you haven't watched porn.”

You start by doing what you had learned from a few pornographic videos which is by stroking him with your hand and then you wrap your lips around his shaft. The taste of his pre-cum mixing with your saliva made you moan. His hand then went to grab a fistful of your hair to push you forward until his tip hits the back of your throat.

“Ah, fuck. That’s better.” Then he took the wheel from there, using your hair as leverage to guide you up and down at a moderate pace. He grunted as he threw his head back against the headrest. “Shit, that’s good. Keep going, baby.” A part of you was a tad elated when he praised you for something you had very little experience in. The ecstatic look on his face amplified the dampness in your panties, your body begging for more. He kept using your face to get himself off and you felt him convulsed in your mouth. He quickened his motion and then released deep inside your throat.  

A few seconds later, he pulled himself out after his cum painted your trachea. “Get up and bend on the table,” you did what he says and pressed your cheek on the wooden surface. “Who knew a 4.0 GPA student like you would be such a dirty slut? You might fool everyone but you can’t fool me, baby.”

He lifted the hem of your plaid skirt and smacked your buttocks with both of his hands, leaving a fiery red handprint on your buttcheeks. You yelped as it echoed on the walls. He pushed aside the crotch of your underwear, and he inserted two of his fingers inside soaked holes, scissoring you wide open for him. You moaned in pleasure as you gripped the edge of the table.

“Fucking slut. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already this wet for me?” You didn’t answer as you continued to cry out. He smacked your left bum once more, “answer me!”

“Yes! Yes, sir.” You stammered between your ragged breathing.

“Is this why you can’t get your shit together? ‘Cause you keep fantasizing about my fingers buried deep in your needy cunt?”

“Yes sir…” your voice quaked.

“Extra points for honesty.” He retreated his fingers and replaced it with his cock. The unwarned intrusion sent a jolt through your body. You squealed in shock as you closed your eyes, trying to adjust yourself to his size. “Ah fuck, you’re so tight.” His hand went to your hair once more and grabbed a fistful of it as he began driving his hips forward. The friction in your G-spot sent electricity through your veins.

He didn’t waste any time by picking up the pace as he lifted your head and brought it closer to his, making you look up to him. “Does that feel good, baby? Is this how you imagined?” He kept thrusting brutally in between his foul words. “yes… Sir. You feel so good around me.” He pecked a brief kiss on your lips and kept pounding you like an animal.

A few more violent strikes and you clenched around him, pushing him to the edge along with you. “Cum baby, show me what a dirty whore you are.” You shut your eyes as you felt the tightening coil in your belly and then it burst, your orgasm dripping all over your thighs. Andy was so close to his climax and a few more deep-seated thrusts, he reached his own and he ejaculated deep inside your womb.

You tried to regain control over your breathing with Andy still engulfed in you. A few minutes later, you both came down from your highs as Andy pulled himself out of you. He put his pants back on and threw himself back on the chair. You stood up on your wobbly legs as you felt your panties squelch with both yours and Andy’s cum blended.

You straighten your rumpled skirt and shirt, as Andy did so with his tie. “You should go, don’t you have another class?”

“I do, but… Did I pass the test, sir?” you batted your lashes at him. The fear and agitation that were there ten minutes ago had dissolved.  

He chuckled at your coquettish remark. He stood up from his chair and closed the distance between you. “Yes sweetheart, you passed the test.”

You beamed as you bit your lip once more. “If you got another test for me, I wouldn’t mind…” you spoke timidly.

“You really are something, aren’t you?”

You shrugged, “I’ve got layers, sir.”

He looked at his watch and realized that he only had five minutes left for his next session. “You are dismissed… For now. I’ve got more lessons that I’d like to teach you, baby.” He winked at you and pecked your lips.

“I’ll be looking forward to our next class, sir.” You packed up your bags and exited to the hall. Looks like you just bent every rule of the university, but you had no doubt in mind that you would do it over and over and over again for your favourite professor.

[charmspoint]

what i know abt qifrey from u talking abt him uhh ok so he's genuinely just a nice guy but also he's evil and irredeemable but also he's literally just a pleasant gentleman

I know ur not asking for a rant about this but by god ur gonna get it.

So the thing is, I don't think Qifrey is evil or irredeemable at all. We joke around the fandom (at least i hope its mostly jokes) that he's evil and crazy but he's really not. If id have to pin Qifrey on a morality spectrum I'd say morally gray but leaning towards the good.

Did Qifrey do some messed up stuff? Yes, fo sure. But I've always gotten more of an impression that he's teetering towards the edge and not completely over it. He does do damage but so far he's mostly made sure that damage was extremely localized and not actually harming other people (I talked about before how Qifrey's own memory erasing spell seems weirdly specialized compared to what we were brought to believe memory erasing spell actually does when used by anyone else).

But now comes the question

Do I think Qifrey will get worse?

Yes, 100% I believe this is where we are going towards, I said before that I'm p convinced he will become some kind of obstacle for Coco down the line.

Qifrey is going through a LOT rn. He's already got ptsd from, you know being stripped of his identity, buried alive, almost drowned and then remembering he was experimented on like a lab rat, but now it's getting worse. Before he could at least relay on the fact that even though his past was horrible, his future was bright. He genuinely loves his job, he loves his girls, he loves teaching. This monolog gets me every single time

Now he's losing his future, he's losing not only his eye, but the whole identity he built out of nothing, he's losing his teaching position, he's losing his kids, he's losing Everything he gained after he had already lost Everything.

It leaves him rushing against an uncertain time limit, desperate, stumbling, sloppy. I don't think he's thinking straight anymore, not really. I think he's convinced he is being methodical and calculating but in actuality he's stumbling forward, grasping at straws, unable to hold on to anything but his need for revenge and the empty words that his actions aren't only for his own sake.

It's all very striking, in his relationship with Olruggio in particular. Olruggio is very clearly supposed to be the guiding light for Qifrey, the one who pulls him back when he goes too far, the one who helps him resist the growing darkness. It's very meaningful how as Qifrey continues on his path he makes sure Olruggio doesn't even know about it. He said it himself, if Olruggio knew, he'd try to save him. He'd try to bring Olruggio to light again and Qifrey doesn't WANT to be saved, he has decided on a road he wants to take and he won't allow anyone to change his course. Not even Olruggio.

So do I think Qifrey is evil?

No

Do I think he'll get worse?

Yes

Do I think he'll become evil?

Not really

See here's the thing. Qifrey's desperation, how quickly he's trying to work through this, how determined he is to throw everything else under the bus if he could just achieve his goals? All of that is dictated by the fact he's running out of time, the fact that once he loses his eyesight he can no longer be a witch. Eyesight is VERY important to witches since magic is a very visual art. We've seen with Tartar how something as seemingly miniscule as color blindness can basically doom someone, causing everyone around them to say they can't become a witch without good eyesight. So complete blindness is a death sentence to a witches career. Now, it's funny how a lot of the Coustas and Tartars arc has to do with adjusting the world to disability and not the person to the world. How it's made pointed, over and over again, that people with disabilities shouldn't be written off but given proper tools that will help them function, how the world should adjust to be a more comfortable place for all kinds of people and not just those who are already adjusted to it. Without the threat of his eyesight going out and cutting his whole identity into bits, Qifrey wouldn't have to act like this, he would be able to sit and think and not rush and if he still wants to pursue brimhats he could do it more safely for himself and everyone else because the desperation factor would be gone.

So what I think is going to happen is that Qifrey will lose his eyesight but won't lose his standing as a witch because he, Olruggio and the kids will figure out how to make magic accessible to him.

Now there's of course a bunch more unaccounted for variables which I'll probably have a better grasp on after the current arc is done being translated. Ininia and Lord Restis represent a very interesting development because they are brimhats introduced specifically via healing injuries. The rule of 'medicine magic isn't allowed cuz it's a slippery slope' has been there since the beginning of the series and a big thorn in the 'yeah the witch world rules are good and fair' side cuz of course, everyone thinks healing people should be allowed. Now the brimhats we've had so far were fully ready to attack and experiment on children's bodies in order to further their own goals so of course that immediately leaves you disliking them and not putting much account into their rhetoric even though it does make sense at times, but ur not gonna listen to ppl experimenting on kids. That's why I think Ininia and Lord Restis are interesting, cuz if they aren't literally attacking children they might get a good case in about medicine magic being allowed. I think we are going towards at least some sort of medicine magic becoming acceptable considering Tartar's arc. But then the question is, if some sort of medicine magic is approved, will it be used to heal disabilities cuz like...that would kinda suck. I would much rather have a 'world should be adjusted so disabled people can participate in it equally' narrative rather than the 'just heal the disability with magic lol' narrative. But honestly this whole paragraph is pure speculation because the arc isn't fully translated or even fully out yet but I sure af am LOOKING at it. I think it will be v important in understanding where the story is going to go. I just hope Shirahama does a good job with it, but honestly she never once let me down up until now so I'm feelin positive.

Circling back to Qifrey, I do think he's one of the kindest, most understanding, most lovable characters I've had a joy of reading and studying. But he does have a black hole in him that is pulling apart all that kindness, leaving him a shattering shell. I don't think he's evil, I don't think he'll ever become truly evil and despite what he's done I don't think any of what he did is irredeemable, especially with how careful he tends to be not to take away from people more than he has to to further his own goals. But I do think that hole will eat at him more and more and that before he can get better somebody will have to notice it and help him plug it up. Olruggio noticed and Qifrey refused the help, convinced that he can't be helped, not in the way he needs. He will need proof that he can keep his future before he can ease up on the frantic hunt after his past