#this was suppose to be for father’s day
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writerdownbookworder · 2 days ago
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The princess smiled at him happily from across the battlefield as she rode away. 
Edmund smiled back and waved. The minute she was out of sight, his hand dropped and he ran it through his hair nervously as he returned to work, carting away the bodies of the enemy and friends alike. It was hard, emotional work, and thankfully, it took his mind off of the explanation he would have to give his family in a few short hours.
Finally, he was able to go home. As soon as Edmund walked in the door, he was bombarded with hugs from all six of his little siblings. They were all between the ages of 2 and 10, and the smaller ones tried climbing him like monkeys. Edmund laughed as he hugged them all, then his parents and grandparents who all lived with them in the four bedroom house. 
After Edmund finally got the little ones calmed down and regaled them with some of the tamer stories he had, he looked at his mother. 
Reading his mind, she started corralling the kids. “Come on, everyone,” she called. “Bedtime!” She ignored the groans and moans that came as she whisked them into their bedroom.
Edmund shifted awkwardly in his chair as he waited for her to come back. When she did, taking a seat beside his father, Edmund took a deep breath.
“I have some news to share,” he began. “I am…engaged.”
His grandmother hooted with joy. “Ha! Finally!”
“Really, Mabel,” Edmund’s mother said reproachfully. “Let the boy speak.”
His father turned to him. “Do we know the girl?”
Edmund wouldn’t meet any of their eyes as he mumbled, “Sort of.”
His grandfather crossed his arms. “It’s not that Katrina, is it? You do know she’s a bit strange. I don’t think you should marry her. Can you call it off?”
Edmund sighed and rubbed his forehead. “It’s not Katrina. And that’s not very nice, Grandfather.”
“Hmph!” his grandfather pouted. “Well, then, who is it?”
“Itstheoldestprincessprincessisolde!” Edmund said, all in a rush.
His grandmother put a hand to her ear. “Eh?”
Edmund took a deep breath. “It’s Princess Isolde.”
“What?!” came a shriek from behind them. Everyone whipped around, only to find seven-year-old Avalie peeking around the corner and eavesdropping. 
She started bouncing on her toes with excitement. “You’re gonna marry Princess Isolde?! She’s my favorite!”
Edmund’s mother put her hands on her hips. “Young lady, you are not supposed to be up. You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
Edmund sighed. “She might as well stay now.”
Avalie ran over and jumped on his lap. “You’re my favorite! How did it happen?!” she asked eagerly.
He couldn’t help grinning at her. “Well, last year, remember when I was gone for so long? I was one of her personal guards. A few days ago, we ended up near each other again, out on the battlefield. I thought…” he let his voice trail off, remembering he was talking to a seven year old. The adults in the room knew what he meant, so he continued his story. “I knew I loved her, and I was pretty sure she loved me too. We grew close last year. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. And…here we are.”
“Are you gonna go live in the palace?!” Avalie shrieked, ignoring when five adults shushed her. “That’s so exciting!”
Edmund laughed. “Yes, I suppose it is. I believe she said she would send word in a few days. I’m…not too sure what to do next. We did just get out of a war.”
Avalie clutched him tightly. “Can I come with you?” 
He laughed again. “Fine by me! You’ll have to ask Isolde though.”
Avalie’s eyes went wide.
She, Avalie, was going to meet a princess! And not just any princess. Her very favorite one!
And Princess Isolde was going to marry her own brother!
That would make them sisters!!!
The rest of the adults were not as excited as Avalie, to say the least. The minute she was shooed off to bed for a second time, the questions resumed.
“How?”
“Why would you do such a thing?”
“What in the world possessed you?”
“Her?”
“She’s the heir to the throne! What does that make you?”
“Why would she even say yes?”
Edmund glared at his grandmother, who had asked that particular question. “Gee, thanks.”
She shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”
The soldier had proposed to the princess out of a mix of getting it out now and the belief he wouldn't make it. Now that the two are alive after the final battle, she intends to make good on what he promised and he's now wondering on how to explain it to his family.
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imfoive · 2 days ago
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Trophy Husband - Chapter 3
Hyunjin x Reader (fem.) Genre: Arranged Marriage au!, Marriage of Convenience-ish, Romance, Angst, Frenemies-to-Lovers, NSFW mdni Warnings: mentions of extramarital affairs, implied masturbation, cursing, drinking, physical violence, crude language, somewhat proofread WC: 6.4k A/N: We're really getting into this story oof, I was so excited to share this chapter! Feedback, Reblogs, Likes are greatly appreciated! Happy reading! ── MASTERLIST
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Synopsis: Two individuals with polar opposite lifestyles are thrown into an arranged marriage for the benefit of both their families, or so they claim. One is a frivolous playboy, living off familial wealth, while the other is an overly controlling workaholic. Navigating their marriage with a business-like approach, their relationship is marked by a whirlwind of bickering, banter, and societal pressures. Amid misunderstandings, they uncover layers of unexpected qualities, eventually discovering a sweet love neither saw coming.
Missed a chapter? - Chapter 1 / Chapter 2
CHAPTER 3 ───────────────────
Hyunjin had momentarily forgotten that, despite finding a peculiar sense of belonging in his… unconventional marriage, not everyone would suddenly see him in a new light. 
The labels that had followed him since his teenage years weren’t so easily erased.
Especially seeing these young women flocking around him, their lashes fluttering, lips curling into smiles he would have once indulged in. Perhaps just to pass the time. It was then he realized, his reputation still clung to him.
His eyes swept across the room and locked onto his wife, Y/N. The woman he was supposedly in love with. The supposed emotions these women surrounding him were clearly aware of, yet seemed to disregard, as they shamelessly flirted with him. Their fingers brushed his arm, their laughter filled the space between, swatting at him playfully as they giggled at his remarks that weren’t truly all that amusing.
Their presence here made sense, though. 
Who would truly believe that a womanizer like himself had finally been tamed? 
Such stories weren’t common in their circle, everyone always falling back into their old habits. Maybe they expected it from him. These women, drawn to him even more so because he was suddenly “off-limits”. If it was some other day, he would have been amused, he would have flirted back.
If it was even the day before his wife had suddenly opened his eyes to emotions he didn’t know he had, he would have humored all these fake personalities. 
But tonight, his gaze was fixed elsewhere. It lingered on Y/N, who stood with their mothers and a growing circle of friends, reintroduced to her over the course of the evening.
They were at a small gathering, though small was an understatement because everyone seemed to be here. His father had thrown this celebration for a business success and, as an afterthought, to celebrate the newlyweds. Even though it had been months since the wedding, they were still treated as if they had just tied the knot. Maybe that was just an excuse to make sure his cunning wife would show up, despite knowing she’d find a way to slither out of attending otherwise.
   “—Does Y/N really meet your expectations?” 
The question snapped Hyunjin back to a conversation he hadn’t been paying any particular attention to. His eyes flicked to the woman who had asked it, now standing just an arm’s length away.
He didn’t realize the group of women that had surrounded him had shrunk. Either they’d grown tired of his indifference or given up trying to compete for his attention. Though, Hyunjin guessed it was the absence of his usually flirtatious, usually charming persona that drove them away.
All but this woman. She was someone he recognized from his circle of friends, but one he’d never taken the time to get to know. It wasn’t her lone presence that caught him off guard. Rather, it was the ridiculousness of whatever she had just asked that made him blink in surprise.
He knew what she was insinuating. With her sultry tone and the curve of her lips that pulled into a smirk, he knew what she meant. As if she had convinced herself that he was going to find the next empty room and have his way with her. 
It wasn’t uncommon. Affairs, mistresses, extramarital flings. Secrets kept under wraps, usually existing between couples who were nothing more than a business arrangement.
And even if his marriage was basically that. It was different. The marriage between Hwang Hyunjin and Y/N Yeom was dripping with romantic tales no one expected from him. He had settled down for her, a true romeo that was rare in their elite class. 
Even if all of it was a ruse. A made-up story that was carved into stone to make it the truth. 
Yet here she stood, the daughter of some other high-class entrepreneur that Hyunjin never cared enough to memorize, suggesting he undo the months of character development he had curated. As if he was such a loose man that he would easily be tempted by a pretty face and seductive eyes.
Hyunjin lowered his gaze to hide the annoyance that flickered in his eyes before looking up at her again.
   “You must think of me as a joke.” His words came out sharper than intended, though deep down he knew he meant it.
For a moment her expression faltered, confused by his reaction. Confused as to why he was the one acting different. As if her question hadn’t disrespected his sham marriage, her touch on his arm hadn’t crossed a line.
Before Hyunjin could say anything further, or before she could continue her advances, a hand suddenly gripped his shoulder, breaking the tension.
   “There you are.” His brother’s voice came out smoothly, his actions even smoother as he picked up a flute of champagne from one of the servers passing by, handing it over to the young woman that stood before them.
   “You look like you need a refill.” He chuckled, glancing at her empty glass.
Her attention immediately shifted. The stunned expression on her face melted as she turned toward the older Hwang brother.
It was a common occurrence between the brothers. When Hwang Hyunsoo entered the room, everyone would instantly fall into his orbit. There was a charm about him that drew you close. A few simple words, a smile that easily captured whoever he was surrounded by. 
Maybe being a smooth-talker was a familial trait, seeing that both Hwangs were exceptional at it. However, right now, Hyunjin furrowed his brows with confusion anew, wondering why he was relieved that his brother had decided to intrude with his presence. 
   “Your wife is looking for you.” Hyunsoo chuckled, patting lightly at the younger brother’s arm.
The taller, younger brother’s eyes darted over Hyunsoo’s shoulder, settling on the form of his wife he had been stealing glimpses of. He was slightly surprised she was asking about him. Usually in such events, Y/N Yeom did not even spare a glance toward Hyunjin or the direction of the cliques he stood amongst. 
Although all those times in the past, they weren’t a couple, their names not attached to one another. 
Hyunjin nodded, sparing a final glance toward the woman who stood between them.
As the trophy husband approached Y/N and the new group she was standing with, his arm naturally slid around her waist. He felt her tense immediately at the contact, but he only tightened his grip slightly, a satisfied smile curling on his lips as his gaze flicked to the two men she was conversing with. He noticed the surprised glance Y/N shot toward him. Probably more from the suddenness of his approach than anything else.
   “Good evening gentlemen.” Hyunjin greeted the two men he too had been acquainted with.
The conversation flowed with ease, but even amidst the small talk, Hyunjin’s attention remained on Y/N. Rather at her form that relaxed against him, and the feel of her in his arms suddenly became his sole focus. He was slightly overwhelmed, trying to juggle the chatter around him while being keenly aware of her body pressed against his.
Y/N, for her part, could feel the quick hammering of Hyunjin’s heart against her back. She tilted her head slightly, studying the furrow in his brow as he listened to the men’s banter. He seemed bothered, and she easily assumed it was the business talk that was frustrating him. But of course, the thoughts swirling in his mind were far from anything related to business.
   “If you gentlemen will excuse us, we’re going to make our rounds to the other end of the hall.” Y/N politely excused, her social smile radiating under the bright lights.
Hyunjin gave a slight nod in acknowledgment as they made their way through the crowd, greeting even more acquaintances as they passed. It wasn’t until they exchanged forced pleasantries with a third businessman that Hyunjin sighed with slight frustration, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on the balcony doors.
   “This way.” His fingers naturally gripped at her wrist, tugging with a slight urgency, trying to avoid getting stopped yet again.
The fresh evening air was a welcome relief from the stifling heat of the event halls. They stepped onto the balcony, and Hyunjin quietly closed the door behind them. Y/N leaned against the stone railing, gazing out over the dark, sprawling gardens. She exhaled deeply, the cool breeze ruffling her hair.
   “Damn, should’ve grabbed some drinks on the way.” Hyunjin commented, casually tossing his dark blazer around her shoulders to protect her from the evening chill.
An action that doesn’t even phase his wife. As if she was used to it. Y/N glanced at him as he mirrored her stance, his back resting against the railing.
   “Feeling better?” He asked, his voice casual.
Except his question made her furrow her brows in confusion.
   “Didn’t you need the breath of fresh air?” 
Hyunjin blinked, slightly taken aback by her question
   “No…I thought you did. Isn’t that why you lied about greeting other people back there?” He tilted his head, a note of his own confusion in his voice. 
   “—Wasn’t it because you needed to talk to me?” He added.
Y/N straightened, glancing over his puzzled expression, raising an eyebrow.
   “I lied because you came to me, didn’t you need to speak to me?”
   “You’re the one who called me!” Hyunjin exclaimed, head slightly reeling from the circles their conversation was going in.
   “And why would I call you?” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, raising a brow.
The dark-haired man was going to argue that his brother had told him so. But then it hit him. 
His brother lied. 
Hwang Hyunsoo had given him an excuse to leave before he said something harsh to that young lady back there. The older brother was yet again, saving him from embarrassing himself.
Hyunjin sighed, his shoulders dropping as he released the tension in his posture. 
   “God, I have a headache.” He muttered under his breath instead, though Y/N didn’t seem to hear him. She scoffed.
   “And besides, you seemed busy entertaining those women back there, I wouldn’t have called even if I wanted.” She shot him a glance. 
   “Must’ve been a real pain to tear yourself away and come find me.”
Her words were meant as a jab, but instead of feeling offended, Hyunjin couldn’t suppress the smug grin that tugged at his lips. The supposed headache he was getting, was suddenly forgotten. 
   “You’ve been watching me?” His smile widened, his amusement evident.
   “I had to. Every time some girl threw herself at you, my mother was breathing down my neck, telling me to keep you in check.” Y/N rolled her eyes in response, annoyed all over again.
Hyunjin chuckled, the tension between them easing. 
   “I’ll duck the next time some girl throws herself at me then.” His eyes crinkled with his laughter. 
His stupid answer only made her groan, unamused as she rolled her eyes again.
The silence settled between them as his laughter died down, eyes following hers to peer over the railing and watch the darkness before them.
The trophy husband suddenly glanced over at her with a fondness that was quickly becoming impossible to suppress. Watching as she pulled his blazer tighter around her body, the evening chill brought goosebumps and slight shivers.
Yet, as the two of them looked out to the night sky, it felt blissful.
────────────────────────
Y/N Yeom might have eased around Hyunjin, comfortable in the titles of “husband and wife”, considering him as business-partner, perhaps a friend even, in their strange dynamic, but that didn’t change how others viewed him. And he had gotten a taste of it that evening of his father’s party.
The trophy husband had been so preoccupied with following Y/N’s advice, avoiding his father-in-law, dodging the old man’s request for a “friendly chat”, that he’d almost overlooked her insufferable cousin. 
The same cousin who apparently lived in the same complex as them, which Hyunjin wasn’t aware of until he was standing in the lobby in the cousin’s presence. The air between them, already hostile.
The last time Hyunjin had seen him was at that same party a few weeks back. Although they exchanged brief greetings, it was clear that Y/N despised him and didn’t let them linger in his presence longer than needed.
He could see why she didn’t like him.
Alex Yeom had always been a smug asshole. He made questionable choices behind closed doors but was a good businessman. If people knew about his unsavory habits, they’d undoubtedly prefer the new Yeom son-in-law over him.
But Hyunjin did not care. He wasn’t interested in any of that.
Now, as Alex eyed him with something devious clearly brewing in his mind, Hyunjin stood with his hands in his pockets, trying to appear indifferent.
   “I thought Y/N would’ve put you on a leash by now. But seeing you wandering around idly, I guess even she’s failed at that.” Alex said with a mocking laugh that already grated on Hyunjin’s nerves.
But he stayed silent, keeping himself calm. And seeing that the remark had no effect on Hyunjin who stood nonchalant, the cousin continued to retort with nonsense.
   “Must be nice, freeloading off your wife?” Alex sneered, shaking his head as he recalled the women who surrounded his new brother-in-law the last time they met.
   “You get to play your part of the playboy while you're at it too. I’d say you’re living up to your reputation. And they told me to worry about you.” He was openly laughing now, a bitterness in his words.
Hyunjin’s lips barely twitched. But he kept himself composed. He was no stranger to insults, most of them came from his own family anyways.
But here stood this fool, spewing out hollow jabs in efforts to get a rise out of him.
Instead, the new cousin-in-law kept his hands in his pockets, but his posture was tight. Every muscle in his body wound up like a spring. A part of him nudged to retaliate, but he remained still. Alex’s mocking words scraped at his nerves, but he wouldn't let this idiot see it.
At least he had that in common with Y/N. 
Instead, Hyunjin sighed, his mouth opening to deliver a bored “sure” or something equally dismissive, anything to make the incessant chatter stop.
Yet even before the words could leave his lips, a sharp, resonant thud shattered the fragile tension in the lobby. Y/N’s form had almost flown between them, her face contorted with a mix of anger and a glint of something else. Without a word, her leg snapped up in one swift motion, landing a hard, kick to Alex’s shin.
An action that made Hyunjin flinch, while Alex let out a sharp hiss. The younger cousin’s eyes immediately widened in shock, and he let out a pained groan, hopping on one foot as he clutched his leg. 
   “What the fuck—” He began, but Y/N cut him off with a sharp, icy glare.
   “Oh? Was it you, Alex? I thought a dog had snuck in, given all the barking I was hearing.” She said, her voice dripping with feigned surprise.
Hyunjin blinked, caught off guard—not only by her sudden appearance, but by the violence of her actions. 
This was a side of Y/N he had never seen before. An unexpected side.
Cold. Uncompromising.
Alex staggered back, rubbing his shin as he glared at her. 
   “H-how can you do this out in the open?” He grunted, his eyes flicking nervously toward a stunned Hyunjin and then around to the few residents that watched the scene unfold.
   “Well, you were being loudly disrespectful to my husband, weren’t you? Where’s your manners? I’m sure your mother had taught them to you.” Y/N retorted, shrugging nonchalantly as if the stares of others didn’t bother her at all. 
Her words hung in the air like a slap. Alex opened his mouth to protest, the younger cousin falling silent as he realized his response would perhaps lead to nothing but his further humiliation.
Y/N turned her attention back to Hyunjin, her gaze softening but her grip on his wrist tight. It was then that Hyunjin noticed the firm hold she had on him. Something he hadn’t even realized until now.
   “Let’s go.” Her tone was calm, yet the tug she had on his arm, not waiting for an answer as she led him away, gave way to her anger.
Hyunjin’s legs seemed to move on their own. Unable to find the words to respond with, simply allowing himself to be pulled along.
His eyes raked over her form. Resolute, frustrated.
Fascinating.
This was Y/N, the woman who had always been so poised, so controlled... but in this moment, she was something else entirely.
Suddenly he felt his cheeks tinge.
In the car, Y/N’s frustration was evident, a string of curses escaping her lips. 
   “Who the hell does he think he is? That asshole only knows how to run his mouth and nothing else.” She muttered, her eyes focused on the road.
The dark-haired man watched her in silence, a mix of admiration and bewilderment settling in.
   “I should’ve punched him instead and wiped that smug look off his face.” She turned to look at the quiet man in the next seat.
   “—And you! You should’ve said something, how could you just stand there?!” Y/N snapped, her anger still simmering.
Hyunjin remained silent, stunned all over again as she directed her frustrations towards at him. Unable to quite understand why she was upset with him now.
Minutes passed, and by the time they stopped at the next light, Y/N seemed to have calmed down. She huffed for what felt like an eternity, only to glance over at him again, surprise slowly creeping across her face.
   “Wait… where were we even headed?” She asked, glancing around as if she had lost track of their destination, which, in reality, she probably didn’t have one to begin with.
There was a split-second of silence before Hyunjin let out a sudden, uncontrollable laugh. One he had been holding back ever since she had shoved him into the passenger seat.
   “I would say… towards the gallery?” He suggested between his chuckles, recognizing the familiar streets around them.
Y/N groaned, the last of her frustration giving way to amusement.
   “Why didn’t you say anything?” She muttered, shaking her head as she continued to drive.
He only could let out another laugh, shrugging.
He wasn’t sure either. 
Why was he rendered speechless ever since she arrived back then. Only watching as cursed her cousin, as she scolded him.
It was more sides of Y/N that he had uncovered.
Protective, fiery, and unafraid to speak her mind.
Hyunjin had always known she was aggressively proud and protective of the people and things she cared about. He wasn’t surprised she had those qualities.
But he hadn’t realized that it extended to him as well. 
That he was also a part of her things, a part of her people.
And what Alex had said wasn’t entirely wrong. 
Hyunjin had been drifting through life, moving from one thing to the next with no real purpose. But even as his mind tried to process everything that had happened, the warmth of Y/N’s fingers lingering on his wrist brought him a sense of…belonging.
A sense of comfort he hadn’t realized he needed.
That phantom touch, still hot against his skin, stirred that weird sensation inside him again, a feeling he couldn’t ignore. It had been there ever since she’d complimented his cooking, a quiet warmth he was starting to recognize... and not one he was ready to let go of.
Like the searing grasp that still seemed to burn on his wrist, lingering long after they had forgotten all about Alex and the nonsense he’d spewed, the questions of why Hyunjin was suddenly feeling this way continued to haunt him.
But, it wasn’t just the touch that tug at his thoughts, it was everything.
When he found himself trailing after her, his heart lifting at the familiar sound of the apartment door opening and she entered. When he would chatter over dinner, watching as she ate with carefree gusto, her compliments flowing freely over whatever he had thrown together. 
There was a strange warmth in these moments. Something that felt like it had been awakened in him, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was. It was as if something inside him was getting ready to burst, but even as he recognized the shift, he was still unsure how to label any of it.
What he did know, however, was that he enjoyed being by her side more than he had ever expected.
The gallery director’s husband, that future version of himself who would eventually have the answers, would figure out the specifics later. For now, Hyunjin was content just to be the one who received her genuine laughter, the sound of it filling him with an inexplicable warmth. He loved how her jokes, always blunt and sometimes a little too honest, would make him stifle his laughter, a quiet amusement settling in his chest.
And then there were the softer moments. 
The sight of her curled under the blankets, her hair a mess, traces of sleep clinging to her face. A look that Hyunjin suddenly found more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen before.
Even prettier than those actresses. Those models that he had once thought were so. 
But the questions still fluttered, just beneath the surface. 
A part of him was aware of the growing attachment, the pull he couldn’t ignore. 
While another part, a quieter, more cautious part, waited for a sign.
And a sign seemed to come easily to him.
Especially when the playboy husband found his eyes trailing over Y/N more often than he ever cared to admit. It was in those moments that he found his sign.
The one he had given himself without even realizing it.
The business couple was preparing for yet another event, hosted by an business acquaintance of hers.
Hyunjin stood in the doorway, watching her get ready, his figure leaning casually against the frame. His gaze wandered over her as she applied the finishing touches to her makeup. Her eyes darted over to the reflection of his figure behind her.
   “I’m surprised you got ready first.” Y/N mused, with a soft laugh, glancing at him as she adjusted her lipstick.
Hyunjin chuckled, his lips curving into a smile. He dropped his head, ready to respond with something snarky perhaps. Something that would catch her off guard, make her falter as she applied her lip gloss.
He could already picture her narrowing her brows, throwing him a mock glare, and then muttering something that would set him off into laughter.
Something that would usually happen in these situations.
But the words never came.
As he gazed at her reflection, something stopped him. 
The gallery director’s husband caught a glimpse of himself, lounging against the door-frame. His body had been poised in that position for the past half hour, watching her with quiet intensity. 
But now, as he saw himself in the mirror, it hit him.
All the answers to the questions that had been gnawing at him.
Those badgering thoughts that surged through him late at nights when he was heavily aware of her form next to him, chest heaving up and down, breathing softly, deeper into her slumber.
The thoughts that would poke at his mind whenever he found himself following her every move, his eyes lingering a moment too long on her.
He stared at his reflection, his gaze locked with his own, and for the first time, it was all too clear.
The look in his eyes was far too familiar.
He’s seen them plenty of times. Plenty of glimpses of it, ones that had often brought a smug smile to his lips. Smiles that parted as he leaned in to whisper sweet, empty, words.
It was the look that women gave him.
The gleam in their eyes, the wide smiles, the soft blush on their cheeks.
It was desire.
It was attraction.
It was infatuation.
Hyunjin stilled against the door-frame. His entire body suddenly relaxed as he realized.
What did a playboy perhaps in love turn into?
A lunatic.
Because the playboy soon found himself doing things that felt... out of character.
His sleep-hazed eyes would follow her every movement as she hauled herself out of bed at ungodly hours. Times that Hyunjin was still not used to waking, yet still stirred from his sleep.
He had always hated mornings. 
Hated the way the sun would already be shining bright for no reason at all.
Yet, there he was, brewing a pot of coffee, a quiet habit he had started for no other reason than the fact that he noticed she liked it prepared before she headed out. And each morning, when she stepped out of the bathroom, still half-dazed from sleep, she would blink in surprise at the sight of his groggy, hunched figure standing by the counter. It had been weeks since he began this routine, but her surprise still hadn’t worn off.
   “How can someone sleep with all the noise you make?” He’d mutter, offering the same lame excuse he always did. 
But it was a lie.
Hwang Hyunjin couldn’t tell her that he was slowly weaving himself into her routine. That he was positioning himself to become a fixture in her life. To make her so accustomed to having him there, make her rely on him for small, mundane things like making coffee.
He couldn’t tell her that he had started catching feelings for her, his wife.
Tell her how undeniably attracted he was to her, his wife.
She’d laugh in his face. He was sure of it. 
And though the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He found himself still doing things he never would have imagined before, things he thought might bring a smile to her face.
Things that betrayed his playboy reputation.
Things that the old Hwang Hyunjin would have scoffed at, would laugh in disbelief of his current self’s antics.
The second Hwang son had always been the type to accept whatever life threw at him. His status, his place within his family. Though they had all fallen into place because he hadn’t bothered to prevent them, hadn’t cared enough to even attempt to challenge them. Deep down, he knew it all came back to his own bad choices.
And now, here he was, caught in yet another predicament. One he’d accepted just as easily, though this one hadn’t been a result of his choices.
Or maybe it was.
Maybe when he had stepped into that bridal room, drawn in by the panic in her eyes, he had already made his choice.
Maybe when he had locked the door behind him, rushing to her side to calm her, to soothe that clench in his chest, he had sealed his fate.
Now, he sat there, a fool, quietly acknowledging the fact that he was infatuated with his wife. Y/N, who, clearly, didn’t feel the same.
It was almost laughable. Ironic, really.
The playboy, the playboy, had developed a crush.
And it was one he couldn’t chase with his charms or good looks.
Hwang Hyunjin had truly fallen for the ambitious gallery director. 
Who wouldn’t? 
Just look at her.
And, of course, he looked.
His gaze lingering, tracing. Shamelessly ogling the one woman who was suddenly off limits. 
Y/N, his wife.
────────────────────────
There had been a quiet shift somewhere along the way. 
The self-proclaimed workaholic had noticed it easily, even though she wasn’t usually the type to catch such things so quickly.
Y/N Yeom had always immersed herself in her passions. In her brand and her business. And though it might seem like it, that she had no time for any of it, she wasn’t entirely clueless when it came to men, having had her share of boyfriends over the years. But most of those relationships had ended for one reason.
She was too focused on her work. 
There was nothing “girlfriend-worthy” about her.
Even if the gallery director had thick skin, never letting those words dig deep enough to prick her, they still left her with an uneasy sense of…imperfection.
Y/N was ambitious, there was no doubt there. And even if she might not have been the “perfect daughter,” she liked to think she came close, compared to other high-class children at least. As a businesswoman, she was near flawless, her gallery thriving and her career booming.
She had dreamed of being the perfect wife too, once.
But that dream faded when her eyes were opened.
She had long since given up on that goal.
Even so, Y/N apparently wasn’t perfect in the eyes of the men she’d dated. At least, not the “perfect lover” they wanted.  
And that’s what irked her, slightly. 
If she couldn’t be a perfect lover, she knew for sure that becoming a perfect wife was out of question.
Besides the way her wedding, her marriage had all happened, it was all far from what one would call perfect. 
Not that she ever wanted to be the “perfect wife” to Hwang Hyunjin of all people. 
The man’s reputation had long preceded him, and Y/N was sure he would drive her mad. She had already imagined herself holed up in her office. Taking solace there to escape her trophy husband’s playboy tendencies. Ready to either kill him or shoot herself from the headaches he would give her.
But the soft pats of his hand against her back, had shattered all that.
He had done something so unexpected, those less-than expectations that had clouded her mind ever since she agreed to marry him, seemed to have faded.
“Breathe…” 
His tone had been soft, soothing, yet enough to pull her out of the storm of emotions swirling inside her.
When he kissed her, she should have been angry. She should’ve been furious that he’d pulled such a “Hyunjin stunt.” But somehow, those feelings evaded her. Instead, she felt an odd sense of gratitude. The press of his lips against hers brought her back to reality. Back to her supposed perfect love story, one where she could at least pretend to be the perfect wife.
She had expected more of those.
More of those moments for her to pretend to be the perfect wife.
More of the kisses.
Although she swore it wasn’t because she liked seeing the shocked expression in his eyes when she kissed him back, she knew her competitiveness had played a role.
But the kisses never came.
Hwang Hyunjin, the playboy, had never once tried anything with his supposed wife.
Maybe she should have been grateful for that. It crossed off one worry from the list of things that could give her a headache.
It was still strange. Seeing all these sides of Hyunjin she hadn’t thought existed.
For so long, Y/N had believed him to be nothing more than the pretentious second son of the Hwang empire. 
A narcissist, lazy and indulgent, with little ambition beyond lounging around. 
But maybe she had judged him too harshly. Maybe her assumptions were fueled by her own bitterness, by the nagging belief that her father had screwed her over.
Her mind wandered back to their wedding day. Back to his figure leaning against the wall, his eyes fixed on her as the makeup artist scrambled to fix the disaster that had become her face. Hyunjin had watched with an intensity, eyes full of… concern, was it?
Yet, she didn’t find his presence there odd.
And here she was now watching him intently. 
Her eyes raked over his figure, studying him from across the room, his figure sprawled across the long sofa he’d picked out, while she sat on the floor, surrounded by her work. 
Y/N had a habit of unloading everything onto the living room table. Her papers, files, and her laptop all strewn about. With her back pressed against the smaller sofa, she typed away like a machine. 
It was always just her and her work. 
Quiet. Lonesome.
But now, even in this silence, even as she focused on the screen in front of her, her eyes would flicker over to him. Hyunjin was in his own little world, oblivious to her gaze, but something about the way he existed in this quiet room, it didn’t feel lonesome at all.
His presence here, anything but odd.
Y/N was honestly surprised to find Hyunjin here at this hour. By now, she had grown used to his late-night disappearances. His notorious escapades and parties. Yet, somewhere along the way, even those late-night adventures had become a rare occurrence.
The first time she came home to find him lounging on the sofa, feet kicked up on the table, watching a cooking show, she had been a little stunned. It wasn’t at all what she expected from the playboy she thought she knew. But somehow, over time, it had just become a new normal.
And these days, instead of disappearing into the night, he had developed an unexpected habit of evening reading.
The thought of it still made her laugh.
Y/N would often find herself watching him in quiet fascination as his fingers turned the pages of whatever novel he was engrossed in. It was always the same book. One he was still working through. One she had noticed just a few days ago.
She’d sometimes do a double-take, just to make sure she wasn’t imagining the scene. 
And then, during particularly gripping parts of the story, he’d gasp, his eyes lighting up as he looked up at her, eager to share the latest twist. 
He would wait. For her to sigh and ask and suddenly his words would surge out. He would eagerly break down what he had read, passionate rambles about characters and plotlines she barely knew.
Oddly enough, Y/N didn’t mind listening to his random recaps, even when they pulled her away from whatever she was doing.
For Y/N, distractions usually grated on her nerves. Yet, there was something undeniably charming about Hyunjin’s excitement. 
The sparkle in his eyes when he talked about the latest plot twist or character development was…captivating. It reminded her of the same glimmer she saw when he engaged in the most mundane activities. The ones that brought him joy she assumed, whether it was playing computer games, watering the plants on the balcony while humming some off-key tune, or even just lounging around in the quiet.
She had noticed it. And she wasn’t sure exactly when it had started catching her attention.
But one thing was certain. Y/N didn’t hate it at all.
She had thought they would be just fine. Her initial worry about having to “babysit” in the pretense of marriage. About reforming the second Hwang, the screw-up of a son, had begun to melt away.
Y/N had almost forgotten about the playboy’s nature.
Almost.
As she walked into the quiet house one evening, she immediately noticed that Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen in the living room that he loved lazing around in at this time. Her eyes swooped over the dim livingroom, settling on the coffee table. He was always the one cleaning up the mess she’d left behind on it the night prior, only for her to undo it all again. It had become a cycle of his complaining as he tidied, but had never really stopped doing it.
Her eyes began to search the space instinctively, trying to locate him.
It was a rare weekday evening when Y/N returned home earlier than usual. Typically, the workaholic in her stayed late into the night, but lately, she had been working tirelessly to get ahead so she could enjoy some free time without guilt. 
Recently, the gallery director had started feeling a pang of remorse. Hyunjin was always waiting for her, no matter how late she came home or how much she told him not to.
It was strange how things had shifted over the past few months. Where once they had coexisted like mere roommates, now it felt more like they were friends. Hyunjin’s goofy laughter, his carefree nature, was starting to grow on the usually overbearing gallery director.
A breath of fresh air in her hectic life. 
But as she walked down the corridor of their apartment, her steps faltered. The distant sounds coming from the bedroom caught her attention.
A string of groans and grunts. His strained whispers, muttered curses, echoed in the stillness.
Lewd, unmistakable sounds that pointed to only one conclusion.
Y/N’s brows furrowed, the confusion quickly giving way to simmering anger as she reached out to grip the doorknob. Her mind instantly jumping back to her initial worries about him.
Hwang Hyunjin the playboy. The rake. The womanizer.
How dare he bring someone home? And to her bed, no less.
She had warned him. 
She had made it crystal clear that if he ever did something as foolish as this, she’d make his life a living hell.
All men were the same, after all.
Her grip on the doorknob tightened, anger flooding her veins, her heart hammering in her chest.
But when she flung open the door and stood there, her knuckles white from gripping the doorknob, the scene before her was nothing like what she had anticipated. Her furrowed brows of anger rising as she took in whatever she burst into.
Hyunjin was sitting on the bed, his cock in fist, sweat beading on his forehead.
The bathrobe he had on was undone and barely hanging onto his body. His body on full display as he looked up at her sudden figure with wide, stunned eyes, completely frozen by her unexpected intrusion.
   “Shit—sorry!” She almost exclaimed, mortified words tumbling out before she could stop them. 
In a flash, she spun around on her heels, yanking the door shut with a sharp slam.
Y/N stood rigidly in front of the now-closed door, eyes fixed on the ground, her cheeks burning with heat. She could hear him on the other side of the door, scrambling, probably more flustered than she was.
Yet, all her mind could do was replay the image she had just walked in on, over and over. And no matter how hard she tried to focus on something else, her mind kept replaying the image she had intruded onto. Of Hyunjin, sitting there, his bathrobe hanging open, looking caught in a moment he clearly didn’t expect.
His fingers wrapped around his erection. 
She gulped, throat feeling dry. Her hands cupped her cheeks, feeling the heat surging over her skin, trying to calm her erratic heart from beating so freaking fast.
Boy, he was big after all. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ to be continued.
── ask to be tagged! (18+) - @jellyleggz, @binniesbabe, @bookswillfindyouaway, @lemonn015, @scarlet789, @onlyhyunjin @freekyfangirl, @candyquokka, @jehhskz, @stayjinnie, @minh0scat, @qwonyoung23, @kpopjackie, @rundontwalkshesaid, @sheerfreesia007, @thecutiepieme, @danihwang882, @hyunebunx, @seeeeking-skz, @velvetmoonlght, @alrm02, @tirena1, @cybergracie, @notevenheretbh1, @piscesrising01, @alisonyus, @hyuneyeon, @broken-glowsticks, @modesttiger, @gnabnahcbby, @hanniesdegree, @lenfilms, @sushiinmidnight, @chrisbangsass, @fixation-dump, @shhyucm, @suzyhhj, @d34thon2legs, @dessianna1, @hityoulikebahng, @tsunderelino, @minluvly, @hanadulsetaad (43/50)
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nebulousmoon3990 · 2 days ago
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GHOSTS OF THE PAST (Batfam x neglected hero reader)
I 𓂃› GHOSTS
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Warning: neglect (unintentional), Damian being Damian, violence, blood, swearing, sensitive topics, writing errors (English is not my first language) and reader has black hair and blue eyes (sorry), I accept criticism but please don't be rude, everything is fictional!
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You consider yourself a good son
I mean, you were never a saint, there were times when you did stupid things and got into trouble with her, but you always managed to solve them. But apparently the universe decided that you weren't good enough.
Not for your family at least.
You were just another product of your father's affair, the only difference is that you were born (something that wasn't supposed to happen) but that's okay! Your mother still loved you and took care of you with all the love she had to offer.
She never spoke openly about your father, but you saw on TV the news about your mother, the great writer from Gotham, with the businessman Bruce Wayne. You were always smart and quickly connected the dots but you didn't question your mother because she was clearly uncomfortable, so you kept quiet and let it go, because you didn't need him. You already had your mother, you already had your uncles, even your little friends from school! You don't need your father.
That is until she died.
It was when you were four years old, you had gone to the market to buy things for dinner and on the way a criminal tried to steal them, your mother trying to protect you ended up with a bullet in the chest, you remember little, but you remember that he ran away while your mother died in front of you. After that you thought you were going to be sent to an orphanage, believe your surprise when your father came to take you home. The first time you saw him you were surprised by how much alike you were: same hair, same eyes, your face was really your mother's, but your skin was his, you were a perfect mix of your mother and your father, at the time you loved it but now... you are not so sure.
When you arrived at the mansion, you met your half-siblings. You were so excited. You always wanted a sibling, since you spent a lot of time alone. The possibility of having siblings made you very happy. The first was Dick: a bright smile and the sunshine of the family. Dick was friendly with you and at least bothered to ask a little about you, like your age or when your birthday was. But the next day, he completely forgot about you. Even though he lived in Bludhaven, he visited the mansion often. Of all your siblings, you felt the most excluded by him. While he said that family was the most important thing, he ignored you. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but what's the point of apologizing for not being there if you don't change anything?
The second was Tim: the Robin of the time. Tim was just... Tim, he was never that neglectful with you, but he didn't try to get closer either. He had no opinion for you. You would say that Tim was observant, quiet, and cold. He would help you if he saw that you needed help, the problem was that he was never there, so he never had time for you (like everyone else).
The third was Jason: in your opinion he was your favorite, Jason was the one in the house who gave you some attention. It wasn't always, but when he came to the mansion he really cared about asking about you.
"Why are you so skinny?" "Are you doing well in your studies?" "Is someone bothering you, brat?" and things like that. Jason wasn't that close but he was never distant either, that's why he was your favorite, but just like Tim he was never there when you needed him, since he couldn't stay at the mansion much (you believe that part of the blame is Bruce).
Then came the rest of your siblings, Barbara was always busy like Bruce and Dick, Cassandra and Stephanie weren't interested in you, and Duke never exchanged more than two or three words with you.
And then to top it all off came Damian: your younger brother. You thought that even though Damian was Al Grul's (trained to kill and all) maybe, just maybe, you two could have a good relationship.
Oh, how terribly wrong you were.
And you realized it the moment Damian almost cut your throat with his sword. That day Damian was reprimanded by Bruce while Dick was taking care of his neck, from what you understood Damian thought he needed to kill you to become Robin. 
You, a civilian, almost wanted to laugh at his presumption that you could be a vigilante when you couldn't even lift your backpack properly. After that day you didn't get close to Damian again, the fear of him doing something to you terrified you to the core. Damian realized it, you knew it by the looks he gave you, but whether it was pride or shame he never apologized to you.
Bruce never had time for you, wrapped up in work and as Batman his time was precious and he had to spend it on what was necessary, and you understood that.
You understood all of them.
But...it still hurt.
It hurt your soul a lot.
That's why you stopped trying to impress them, stopped enrolling in classes they liked just to get their attention, stopped bothering them to get some family time. You gave up, simple as that, the family didn't care, probably not even knowing about it.
There was Alfred, who probably spent the most time with you, acting like a grandfather. But Alfred is also Bruce's butler and the sidekick to Gotham's heroes, he couldn't spend all his time with you either (you accepted that, it was okay).
But sometimes there were rare moments that happened, moments when they cared, when you saw a little bit of love from them towards you.
Like when Jason gave you one of his sweatshirts for your birthday, one that you really liked (you still wear it to this day, it's still too big on you).Or when you didn't have a partner for your history project since no one was your friend, so Dick and Tim spent half the night helping you with it. Or when school bullies beat you up, you went back to the mansion (which was empty) with a black eye, just so Damian could see you. By some miracle, you convinced him not to tell Bruce, thinking that the matter had died there, you went back to your room only for Damian to knock on your door in the middle of the night and give you a pair of brass knuckles for you to use next time (you never used them, but knowing that he cared was comforting).
I think the most important of these moments was when Bruce showed up at your elementary school graduation. Thanks to your mother, you were more gifted than the others, advancing a few years in school, making you finish school before your age. Imagine: a pre-teen in the middle of almost adults with other adults looking at you (it's desperate) but you saw him, Bruce Wayne together with Alfred looking at you for the first time. He didn't stay until the end, but he was still there, he was there for you.
That's why you hated them.
How dare they? Play with your heart like that, giving you hope that maybe you could be a normal family, a happy family. You hated that, you hated having hope, you hated that they cared and then left you aside.
And what you hate the most is that every time you fall for their talk.
That's why you're taking some time for yourself, far away from them at your aunt's house. In two weeks it will be your fourteenth birthday and you decided this time to spend it with your aunt, to try to forget about your life in Gotham with your family (besides, it had been years since you saw her, it was time to get over the longing).
You told her well in advance, already planning it since the beginning of the month, so now at the train station you didn't feel any worries as you got on the bus.
You didn't tell your family, they wouldn't even care, you just told Alfred so that the poor man wouldn't have a heart attack if he didn't see you in the room.
Maybe if you had told them, this wouldn't have happened.
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Dick loves his family.
No matter how many problems they have, he will always love them, family is everything to him.
So why these days has he felt like he's forgetting something?
Was it training with Damian? No, that was for tomorrow, maybe patrol with Bruce? That was impossible to forget, could there have been something with Tim? He doesn't remember his brother asking him for something, maybe Cass? She said a friend was going to have his birthday-
birthday.
(Name's) birthday.
The realization hit him like a train, that was it! His birthday, he had completely forgotten about it, when will it be? If he remembers, will it be in two weeks? You're going to be-
How old are you again?
No, that's absurd, he knows how old you are, he would be stupid not to. You must be twelve? No! Thirteen? But he doesn't remember your thirteenth birthday.
In fact, he doesn't remember any of your birthdays.
Okay, maybe he doesn't remember now, but he was definitely there for your birthday, he's your big brother! Why wouldn't he be?
Okay, he decided that as soon as he finished patrolling with the rest of the family he would talk to everyone about it.
As he jumped between the rooftops his phone vibrated loudly, but he didn't bother to look at it, he would check it later.
Hurry up Dick, before it's too late.
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Tim was monitoring the batcave today, helping with location and crimes remotely. Today would be a normal patrol, too calm. Tim hated these patrols, too calm and preparing for the storm.
This time a hurricane would come and no one would be prepared.
The first to arrive was Jason, who came just to help with the investigation of a particular case. He leaned on the table next to Tim and watched the cameras and sensors on the television he controlled. The second was Bruce and Damian. Bruce went to talk to Alfred and Damian went to the table in the center where Tim's phone was. Tim, listening to Dick's message, who was near the mansion, almost didn't hear the youngest Wayne talking.
"Someone's calling you." Tim looked at Damian, who turned on his phone. Without worrying, he went back to the computer. "I can answer later." Damian apparently wasn't satisfied and turned on the phone only to see that the flames were his, his name engraved on the screen. "It's our sister's." "Cass's?"
"(Name's)" Now that caught Jason's attention. He looked at the youngest Wayne. For some reason, a bad feeling took over him, the same feeling that something bad was going to happen. "Oh, that's it. I'm kind of busy here. Can you see what she wants for me?"
Grimacing, Damian would have put the phone down, but something inside him told him to check, to check, so he picked up the phone and unlocked it to find over twenty missed calls from him “oh my”
“What’s wrong?” Bruce approached the boys, having vaguely heard the conversation. “There are over twenty calls and at least fifteen messages” now that really caught everyone’s attention.
“What?” Jason answered for everyone, breaking the silence that settled in the room, but Damian didn’t bother to answer, instead going to the messages, he was going to go through them when a word caught his attention.
Help 
Just with that the bad feeling inside Damian grew, his behavior changing and showing the others that the matter was serious “Oh shit."
“What’s going on” Dick finally arrived, only to find the tense atmosphere in the room, as he walked Damian went through the messages finding words like “help” “help” “invaded” and “bus”
“Damian what happened” he opened the voicemail, seeing many of them only in the last hour, he put it on maximum volume for him and the others to hear.
"T-Tim please pick up" your voice came out shaky, low almost in a whisper and desolate, full of fear "I-I... I tried calling Dick a-and even Bruce" the sobs of your voice were restricted by your mouth, sighing heavily a bang was heard on the other end startling you "I-I need help... p-please" and so the voicemail ended
“The mansion was invaded?!” Jason didn’t ask anyone in particular, but Tim went to see the footage of the mansion for the last few hours anyway. “No, no one came into the house.”
“Where is she?” Dick was quick to pick up the phone, just like Damian, he came across at least twenty voicemails for him. To get attention, Alfred coughed lightly and automatically everyone’s heads turned in his direction. “Master (Name) went out to spend her birthday with her aunt who lives in New York.”
And that’s how chaos exploded.
The next minute, everyone’s voices echoed through the cave. “What?!” “What do you mean?!” “When did she tell you that!?” Bruce replied as he walked towards Tim’s computer. “She didn’t tell you anything, Alfred, why didn’t you tell me?”
Alfred looked at his master, almost exploding at such stupidity, he knew Bruce didn't have time for you but he also made it clear that he didn't care about you, it was no surprise that you hadn't even warned him before, but respecting you (and master Bruce) he answered. "Master (Name) thought it wasn't necessary, he told me only if you gentlemen asked for her." Tim went back to the computer, now not scanning the streets of Gotham, but looking for you, Dick scrolled through the voicemail and clicked on the most recent one, made 15 minutes ago, his voice once again filled the air making everyone hear you.
This time the line started in silence, only your agitated breathing being heard, it is possible to hear a whisper much quieter than before on the line "Dick please, I-I... I beg p-please, please, p-please, p-please, please-" you were silenced by the noise of something near you, your breathing was weak, footsteps echoed wherever you were, you approached the phone and whispered into the cell phone "save me" when you finished speaking voices approached and then a scream came from you, your phone fell somewhere far from you but even so it was possible to hear your screams and your fight for the cell phone until the line finally ended
“Holy shit…” tension built up in the room, the family was completely stunned by the line, Jason was the first to go looking for him, Dick tried to stop him but he went looking for him too, Damian and Bruce left soon after and Tim went back to his computer at full speed.
They need to find you, Now!
But it was too late
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“Tim tell me you found her” Jason shouted on the line as he moved with Dick, the two of them as well as the rest were moving at each of the bus stops to look for their route, the result was nothing.
Tim huffed on the line, irritated with his brother. “If you stopped asking me every two minutes maybe I would find her”
“Your-”
“Enough fighting! That’s not the focus right now” Dick said to Jason and Tim, although his harsh tone gave him away showing how exasperated he was. “Our focus is to find (Name)” Jason looked ahead accepting his brother, they had to find her, he needed to.
Jason wouldn’t forgive himself if his sister died.
“I found her!” Tim shouted excitedly, the spark of hope on his face until he saw the bus where he was “oh no” his heart started beating faster, fear started to settle in his body, but he remained paralyzed without being able to move. 
“Tim? Tim, what happened? Tim saw on the computer the image of his bus fallen to the ground, with fire gathering around it. The red robin could only move when he heard Bruce's voice. With his fingers shaking, Tim sent the image of the accident to each person's cell phone.
Bruce could feel his heart beating out of his chest, the sight of the bus lying on the ground, burned and destroyed was enough to make his heart stop, Damian was in no different situation, all he could think about was your face, scared and afraid of him.
He wanted to see you.
Everyone wanted to see you, but it was too late.
The hurricane passed and destroyed everything
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“This morning, news shook all of Gotham, a bus destined for New York was intentionally unloaded in the middle of the road. In total, of the twenty-two passengers, five were injured and seven were kidnapped, among those kidnapped was the second youngest daughter of the great businessman Bruce Wayne, (Name) Wayne, the police are investigating the case-” the television was turned off by Jason, who threw the remote control hard on the couch, now with all the brothers gathered (Barbara, Cass, Stephanie and Duke there too) they were waiting for news from Bruce, who went to a press conference to speak at home with Alfred. Dick, trying to calm his brother, approached him and put his hand on his shoulder “Jason, we're going to find her-”
“Are we going to find her? She might be dead now!” Jason said without thinking, but the mood in the room dropped even more than it already was. Both the guilt and the despair of losing you were what terrified not only Jason, but everyone in that room.
“She’s not dead.” Damian was the one who calmed the situation, approaching the two of them. “You saw it yourself, she was taken, but she’s alive.”
“And who can guarantee that she’s not dead, huh, demon?” The youngest Wayne narrowed his eyes. Jason was right too. Who can guarantee that she’s not already dead? Who can guarantee that she’s not already six feet under, buried?
“(Name) isn’t dead.” Bruce and Alfred entered the mansion. Wayne’s suit was all wrinkled, but he didn’t care. Maybe it was because he had more important things to worry about. “She isn’t dead, and we’re going to find her.”
“Even if it’s just her corpse.”
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Oh, okay that was a lot of work to do, enjoy.
@bunbunboysworld - @h-ib - @sheep-from-rad - @tatsuri-zomushiki - @the-holy-pigeon - @geminis93
Tchau.
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zyafics-recs · 20 hours ago
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i know this gonna break my heart... sigh... taking deep breaths... let's go ⬇️
It was almost easy, something he wouldn’t have believed a few years back when everything he touched seemed to go up in flames. There’d been a time when he was just too much—angry, impulsive, doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.
first and foremost, i love the characterization of rafe. something about ur interpretation of him feels so lively and real, especially because it relates to his canon. when i was reading thru his thoughts, i was like, woah, rafe would act this way.
He’d been selfish, reckless, it was intense, way too intense, and when you fought, it was like you were both throwing grenades, just waiting to see who’d blow up first. You’d pushed him away, he’d pushed you harder, and you’d both crossed lines that should’ve never even been close.
i love the line throwing grenades, waiting for who to blow up first. ur metaphors have always been some of my favorites, so i always love highlighting and pointing it out <3
Rafe didn’t know what the fuck to feel when he got the news. He knew what he was supposed to feel, right? He’d done it before with his mom, now it was his dad’s turn. The man who had raised him, the one to teach him everything he knew about how the world worked, even if it wasn’t pretty. 
i love the turn of internal conflict, that rafe - who has always been loyal as a dog to ward - can have his own conflicting emotions about his father
Ward was a hard man, a strong man. The kind of guy who commanded respect, even if he didn’t always show it the way others might expect. But that’s the thing, he was a man of respect.  To Rafe, that meant something. Everything
but at the end of the day, rafe recognizes that he has to set his father on a pedestal because that's all he's ever done. all he'll ever do.
At first, it was subtle—small things. He’d catch you looking at him like you didn’t quite get him anymore. You’d pull away when he needed you to listen, when he was ranting about Ward, and even though you tried to hide it, Rafe could see the dissociation.
that actually hurts, the idea that you're dissociating, going somewhere where he can't follow u? oh the miseryyy
He wasn’t perfect, but he was the only father Rafe had ever known. He was gone all of a sudden and that was what had hurt the most—knowing he’d never get the approval he’d always been chasing, even when he was clean, even when he was doing better. There was no fixing that. 
i love u pointing out the validation-seeking 🙂‍↕️
Three weeks after the funeral he spent his days surrounded by a few bottles of scotch he’d stolen right out of his dad’s stash. Who was gonna stop him now, anyway? He almost laughed. Three years clean. Shit, that was something, wasn’t it?
this is such a bitter moment, but it's also shows how rafe just reverts back to his younger self in the presence of his father. that even if ward's death, he will continue to haunt the narrative. also, "shit, that was something, wasn't it?" was such a bitter realization.
Every time he saw himself— on a window, mirror, whatever—he had a drink in his hand, and something about it just felt terrifyingly right.
HE SAW HIS FATHER
Half the people were staring, too. Waiting to see if he was gonna go off, if he was back to the same volatile Rafe he used to be, the one they loved watching spin out. And just when he thought he could ignore it, some random pogue, scruffy, half-drunk, threw out a comment loud enough for the whole group around him to hear.
i love the depiction of seeing rafe as nothing more than a prop, an entertainment for the rest of the kooks. it gives u this zoo-like viewing of rafe rather than human.
It didn’t matter that he was twice as drunk as he should be; all that mattered was the way his father’s name was rolling off this nobody’s lips.
he's so protective over his father
“And you,” you called out, enough to silence the chatter around you. “Keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” 
I LOVE HER FOR THIS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OWNS MY HEART
You took a step forward, finger pointed at your chest, “Don’t I? Because I remember standing in this very house, watching him tear you down every chance he got. You’re so busy mourning this man who treated you like shit, that you’re pushing the people who care about you away. It’s not just me. It’s everyone.”
she's real and she should speak on it
“Don’t you dare roll your fucking eyes at me,” you retaliated, stepping up beside him. “I stood by you through all of it, I’m not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself because of him. He’s the reason you felt like you had to be so perfect all the time, why you’re always trying to prove yourself to people who don’t deserve it. And now he’s gone, and you still can’t see it. You’re still trying to be good enough for him!”
i love her but god that must've hurt
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
i love that he only picked up the things that he hears, not the fact that he's blind to see it, but rather accusing him of being "dumb"
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
he has such self-destructive tendencies omg
“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to make this about me,” he spat, the words ugly in his mouth, it felt like they were scraping their way out of him. “You don’t get to make me the villain in your story just because you’re tired of playing my fucking hero.”
i love their arguments so much, because it's so bitter, and resentful, and sharp and it cuts so deep. that's one of my favorite things about this series, is when they're talking, they're going all in
That shitty plan had gone down the drain once he saw you speed away at that party with absolutely no regard for your safety or Topper’s. He’d seen that wild look in your eyes before—the one that said you were about to burn it all down. Or when your dad’s gala came around, and he couldn’t sleep properly knowing he wasn’t going to be there that year, knowing how you spiraled every time you had to step on that stage.
SOMETHINGS WRONG GO HELP HER
But how the fuck was he supposed to act when the girl who had been everything to him was hurting? 
my favorite line
He blinked, thrown off. “I broke her heart? She broke mine!” He laughed, but it was harsh, bitter. “I did us a favor. We were just—”
he's hurt too (but he's a dick) but he's hurt too 🥹
He had no reason to stay, you’d made it clear as day. He was supposed to be gone—out of your life for good. You’d told him you didn’t need him, he told you he didn’t need you. So why the hell was he still standing here? 
i love the lingering love, especially because i believe rafe to be the type of person who cannot mourn loss whatsoever, he keeps it in his chest forever, when he loves someone, he'll love them forever
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” she murmured, with a knowing sadness. “I think the problem is that you two will never stop loving each other. He’s still hurting from dad’s passing, he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to stop loving you. And you—you’re here, angry that he loved my dad so much, hurt that he left, trying to protect me from him, still worrying about me when you should be focusing on yourself. You’re scared he doesn’t care anymore, and he’s scared you don’t need him at all."
ONE OF THE BANGER LINES OF THIS PART AHHH
“You’re allowed to be someone without him, and you’re allowed to find out who that is.”
oooo i love this, sometimes i be forgetting they're toxic.
💌 — i love love their argument in this one. i love how u manage to capture rafe's essence with this characterization, especially post-ward, because i often don't read a lot of fics with ward being a dead presence but haunting the narrative. and that make rafe's viewpoint so conflicting, especially since he's trying to grieve but come to terms on who his father is. i absolutely love how u build up to their breaking point, because they have all these things festering under the surface that neither are willing to talk about until someone breaks, and that's how their relationship dynamic is. every time we get to see an insider scope of rafe's head, i am amazed, because the way he analyzes things, flowing from one thought to the next, makes sense. he's insecure, he's grieving, he's angry, and all of these emotions are hitting him at full-force and no one is allowing him the proper space to actually deal with them—especially because ward never did. and when their argument was just bitter shots at one another, just to hurt each other, you know it hurt. oh oh, gigi, u amaze and fascinate me so much!!
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - SIX
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mention of pregnancy; abortion; lack of self-care; drug and alcohol addiction;
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Rafe had been clean for the past three years.
Over the course of the year, things between him and you had been smooth sailing. 
It was almost easy, something he wouldn’t have believed a few years back when everything he touched seemed to go up in flames. There’d been a time when he was just too much—angry, impulsive, doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.
He’d been selfish, reckless, it was intense, way too intense, and when you fought, it was like you were both throwing grenades, just waiting to see who’d blow up first. You’d pushed him away, he’d pushed you harder, and you’d both crossed lines that should’ve never even been close.
Eventually, both of you learned to talk instead of shouting, learned when to back down instead of pushing buttons just to get a reaction. You’d gotten better at letting each other breathe. He’d pull back when he felt himself getting heated, and you’d do the same.
It wasn’t perfect; sometimes you’d still get into it, still end up in an argument that felt like old times, but it was different. There were no more lines on the bathroom counter, no disappearing at all hours. 
Until Ward died. 
Rafe didn’t know what the fuck to feel when he got the news. He knew what he was supposed to feel, right? He’d done it before with his mom, now it was his dad’s turn. The man who had raised him, the one to teach him everything he knew about how the world worked, even if it wasn’t pretty. 
Ward was a hard man, a strong man. The kind of guy who commanded respect, even if he didn’t always show it the way others might expect. But that’s the thing, he was a man of respect. 
To Rafe, that meant something. Everything. 
Ward had shaped him, he couldn’t just forget that, couldn’t act like that wasn’t important.
At first, you were there for him, no question. 
He knew you hated Ward, you barely tolerated the thought of him even existing in the same room as you. You spent those first few weeks with him, making sure he didn’t spiral back into the shit that nearly destroyed him. He needed the support, even if he didn’t always know how to ask for it.
You were there, holding it down. You got through it, the late-night talk, but then, you started getting distant.
At first, it was subtle—small things. He’d catch you looking at him like you didn’t quite get him anymore. You’d pull away when he needed you to listen, when he was ranting about Ward, and even though you tried to hide it, Rafe could see the dissociation.
He pretended he didn’t sense it, tried to tell himself you’d come around. 
After all, this was his grief, and no one else was going to understand it the way he did. His dad had been everything to him—maybe not in the way you thought he should’ve been, but that was just the reality of it.
For the first time in years, it felt like you weren’t there with him. It didn’t make sense to him how you couldn’t see it. 
Ward had been a tough guy, sure, cruel sometimes, but he was also a provider, a father who tried to teach him how to survive, even if it didn’t always come wrapped in the right way.
He wasn’t perfect, but he was the only father Rafe had ever known. He was gone all of a sudden and that was what had hurt the most—knowing he’d never get the approval he’d always been chasing, even when he was clean, even when he was doing better. There was no fixing that. 
He wanted to mourn in peace, but no one seemed to understand why Ward still mattered to him, not even Sarah.
Three weeks after the funeral he spent his days surrounded by a few bottles of scotch he’d stolen right out of his dad’s stash. Who was gonna stop him now, anyway? He almost laughed. Three years clean. Shit, that was something, wasn’t it?
He’d had people telling him he wouldn’t make it three weeks, let alone three years. Shit, his dad sure didn’t think he’d get this far. Only you.
Rafe squinted at the amber liquid swirling in his glass, then leaned back in the worn leather of his dad’s old armchair. It felt weird being in here, in his chair, in his office, breathing in that persistent smell of old cigars and varnish.
After the whole “funeral”, with everyone looking at him like he was a wild animal about to snap, this was the only place he could sit without someone judging him.
If you’re so clean, why are you drinking yourself half to death? He took a slow sip, letting it burn down his throat. 
It wasn’t like it used to be, that high that hit fast and hard, and didn’t care if it broke him apart.
This was different, a slower, quieter process.
Besides, he was in control this time. Just a drink, he told himself, fingers tightening around the glass. No powder, no pills. That was progress.
So what if he had to take the edge off? Who wouldn’t, if they’d just said goodbye to their only living parent and had to look at their younger sisters crying like that? 
He was practically swimming in alcohol. Rafe knew he was overdoing it, but he didn’t care.
Every time he saw himself— on a window, mirror, whatever—he had a drink in his hand, and something about it just felt terrifyingly right.
Grounded.
Nobody understood him; they just kept looking at him with that worried face, like he was on the verge of losing it like he used to when he was younger. Maybe he already had.
You watched him—really watched him—and yeah, he could tell you were pissed. He saw it in that little wrinkle between your eyebrows every time he took another sip. But you didn’t say anything. 
Even Wheezie was on his case in her quiet way.
She was hanging around, throwing out old jokes and trying to make him smile, but he barely reacted. She was looking at him like she was scared, as if he was some stranger she was trying not to set off. And he hated that—God, he fucking hated it. So he kept his distance, hoped she would back off, let him get through this his way.
But then came that night at the beach bonfire, when everything changed.
He probably shouldn’t have gone, but he needed to get out and feel normal again—even if that just implied showing up and pretending, he was fine. He dragged you along, flashing that cocky grin you could see right through, but you followed anyway, probably just to keep an eye on him. He could feel it—the way you were watching him, worried as hell, that just made him want another drink.
Half the people were staring, too. Waiting to see if he was gonna go off, if he was back to the same volatile Rafe he used to be, the one they loved watching spin out. And just when he thought he could ignore it, some random pogue, scruffy, half-drunk, threw out a comment loud enough for the whole group around him to hear.
“Guess Ward Cameron finally found some gold he couldn’t buy his way out of, huh? What was he thinking, running off to some country where people don’t just take bribes? Practically killed himself.”
It took everything in him not to lunge right there, but he was too plastered to keep the anger off his face. He pushed his way over to the guy, hands clenched into fists.
“You got something you want to say to my fuckin’ face?”
The guy shrugged, muttering something under his breath, people were looking now, everyone watching to see if he was finally going to give them a show.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was shoving him back, hard enough that the dude stumbled, beer splashing out of his cup. The crowd around them stirred, murmurs, but nobody did a thing—they were just staring, waiting to see the blood spill. He felt tempted to hurt someone, felt that cameron fury crawling up his throat.
It didn’t matter that he was twice as drunk as he should be; all that mattered was the way his father’s name was rolling off this nobody’s lips.
He felt you grab his arm, long nails digging hard enough to pull him back, he jerked his shoulder, trying to shake you off, but you weren’t letting go.
“You’re gonna waste your time on him?”
Rafe gritted his teeth, but you didn’t give him a chance to argue. You hauled him back, forcing him away from the guy, who was still standing there with that smug look plastered on his face. 
“Get out. Now,” you urged him, voice calm but with the tone that even he didn’t want to test. He glared at you, mouth opening to argue, but you didn’t let him get a word in. “Rafe. Now.”
You were mad at him.
It was enough to knock some sense into him, and he let you reel him away, but not before you turned back.
“And you,” you called out, enough to silence the chatter around you. “Keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” 
There was no bluff, no hesitation, and Rafe watched as the pogue’s smug expression dropped instantly, eyes widening as he realized you were dead serious, your family’s name always had an impact around town, old money and all.
As you dragged him to the car, he muttered that he didn’t need you playing bodyguard, but you ignored it, taking him out of the spotlight he hated but couldn’t seem to avoid.
His head was spinning, his blood boiling, and he couldn’t even look at you, not with how angry he felt.
By the time you pulled up to his house, you got out, guiding him inside with that hard, that silent determination he both hated and admired in you. 
You were there, right behind him with that look on your face—angry, disappointed, like he was missing something big, as if he was the one who didn’t get it.
He stumbled into the bathroom, holding himself against the sink, and before he could even catch his breath, you turned on the faucet and splashed cold water in his face. He jerked back, sputtering, wiping it with the back of his hand. When he looked at you, his anger burned again.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he snapped.
“My problem?” you scoffed head already shaking, “Are you serious?”
“You don’t get it,” he growled, barely controlling the rage, the shame—everything. “You don’t know a fuckin’ thing about him. I had the right to defend him.”
You took a step forward, finger pointed at your chest, “Don’t I? Because I remember standing in this very house, watching him tear you down every chance he got. You’re so busy mourning this man who treated you like shit, that you’re pushing the people who care about you away. It’s not just me. It’s everyone.”
Rafe laughed bitterly, the sound humorless. “Oh, here we go,” he muttered, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the sink, gripping the edge hard enough to make his knuckles turn white.
“Don’t you dare roll your fucking eyes at me,” you retaliated, stepping up beside him. “I stood by you through all of it, I’m not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself because of him. He’s the reason you felt like you had to be so perfect all the time, why you’re always trying to prove yourself to people who don’t deserve it. And now he’s gone, and you still can’t see it. You’re still trying to be good enough for him!”
He didn’t look at you, didn’t want to see the indignation—or worse, the pity—in your eyes.
“Just stop,” he muttered, but you were past listening.
“No, I won’t stop. I can’t. I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself again. You’re better than this.”
He suddenly pushed himself away from the sink, and turned to face you, his blue eyes practically black with a hurt that was older and deeper than either of you could touch.
“You don’t get to stand there and tell me what I deserve.”
“I know what you deserve.” 
He scoffed, rolling his eyes again, though his face had gone a shade paler. “You think you know everything, don’t you?” he sneered. “Think you know what’s best for me? Get off your high horse.”
“You’re damn fucking right I know better than you do, I’m not the one who’s drowning every night in some pathetic tribute to a man who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.”
He could feel it now, the bitterness you’d been hiding for weeks. It wasn’t just about him drinking himself stupid. It was everything—every fucking thing you’d been ignoring, it had festered between you two while you pretended things were okay.
“You’re the one who’s just tired of me, of everything that comes with me.”
You took a step back, eyes narrowing, but you didn’t flinch.
“What?” Your rage momentarily dialed down, the sound gurgling, “You think I’m tired of you? I’ve been here this whole time, trying to make you see the truth, but you won’t even look at me. You won’t let me in. You’re too fucking blind to notice.”
His breath was shaky, too fast, but he didn’t care. “So now I’m blind, huh? I didn’t see you sneaking out the door when I needed you? I didn’t notice how you pulled back, how you stopped giving a fuck about me? You’re just waiting for me to give you an excuse to leave.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but he wasn’t done.
“You don’t get it! I didn’t need you to fix me, I needed someone to stay. But instead, you—" His voice cracked, the anger choking him up, "Instead, you started to make me feel like I was a b-burden. Some mess you had to clean up. How am I supposed to deal with that, huh?"
You were shaking your head, your eyes had already been filled with tears, your chest suffocating.
“I’ve been here. I’ve been standing right next to you, waiting for you to pull your shit together. I didn’t walk away. You did.
His stomach churned, as if you’d taken every inch of space in his chest and twisted it, just for fun. The worst part was, he couldn’t even argue with you. Not really. He had been so wrapped up in his own shit, so obsessed with keeping everyone out, that he hadn’t even seen how far you’d already gone.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare try to make this about me,” he spat, the words ugly in his mouth, it felt like they were scraping their way out of him. “You don’t get to make me the villain in your story just because you’re tired of playing my fucking hero.”
“I’m not trying to play the hero!” you screamed, stepping closer, your eyes were cold. “I’m trying to help you see that you have to fix this. Not me. Not anyone else. But you. And if you’re so fucking broken you can’t see that, then maybe you really don’t need me.”
The silence that followed was thick, suffocating. Rafe could feel his heart racing, that agonizing coil in his chest, but he couldn’t stop.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said, voice quieter, but just as venomous.
He turned his back on you, walking to the door. The sound of his boots clamped against the wood floor like a countdown.
“Maybe I don’t. Grab your shit and go.”
"Don’t you fucking—" you snarled, but he was already moving, grabbing your jacket off the hook by the door and throwing it your way, “You know what? Fine. Maybe I will.” You shoved that stupid thing on, hands shaking as you yanked the zipper up. “Don’t come running back in two days like you always do. Don’t come crawling back.”
Rafe paused, hand on the doorknob, his jaw clenched so hard you could see the muscle ticking.
He didn’t turn around, didn’t look back at you.
“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”
“Good. Because I stopped feeling sorry for you a long time ago,” you replied sharply, every syllable punctuated with weeks of resentment. “What I feel now? That’s just disappointment.”
You watched his shoulders lock up; his whole body wound so tight it was like he was one wrong look away from completely losing it. He didn’t turn around either, even as you slipped out the door, but he knew.
That was it.
Two moths later, almost three, he was standing in front of the ER pacing like a complete fucking idiot after you passed out in his arms earlier.
He’d told himself he’d stay away, make it easy for both of you. 
That shitty plan had gone down the drain once he saw you speed away at that party with absolutely no regard for your safety or Topper’s. He’d seen that wild look in your eyes before—the one that said you were about to burn it all down. Or when your dad’s gala came around, and he couldn’t sleep properly knowing he wasn’t going to be there that year, knowing how you spiraled every time you had to step on that stage.
He had stupidly thought that maybe, one day, you two could still be friends. But today? That shit blew up in his face, for the second time in the span of a week.
He forgot what you could invoke in him when you were standing merely an inch away. He promised himself that he’d moved on, forced to consider that the love of his life might not be someone he could spend his lifetime with. Maybe you weren’t meant for each other.
But how the fuck was he supposed to act when the girl who had been everything to him was hurting? 
No, no, no.
Sofia was what he needed.
Someone who didn’t know shit about his past, who didn’t ask questions he didn’t want to answer. She hadn’t seen him the way you had, hadn’t been there through every drunken rant and punch he’d thrown at the wall or someone’s face, hadn’t heard him rail against his dad or drag himself back from one of his darkest nights. 
She hadn’t called him a fucking idiot when he chose to throw his father’s ashes on the ocean. She wasn’t going to call him a coward for it. She didn’t have a clue about any of it, and that was supposed to be what he wanted.
He looked up at the ER doors for the millionth time in the past hour, his fingers clenched around his jeep keys so tight they left marks on his hand.
It was over between you two. He’d make sure to keep the fucking distance, two whole months. If he didn’t give you enough closure, you’d hate him faster and you’d both get over it. 
So why the fuck was he about to set the whole hospital on fire as he watched John B’s beat up twinkie pull up to the parking area? It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. 
Of course you’d call her, his own sister—his father's favorite.
Sarah had always been the golden child, Ward’s little angel who could do no wrong, while he was the family screw-up. Even now, you’d picked her, just like Ward would have. 
He didn’t think before he moved, closing the distance between him them in seconds. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He barked right up in her face, daring her to explain herself.
Sarah didn’t back down, though. She just looked up at him with that same cool, level expression she always had whenever he tried to get a rise out of her. 
“I’m here because she called me.”
“She called you?” He scoffed, eyebrows pulling together in disbelief. “You? She called you?” He took a step closer, “So what, you’re her savior now or some shit? Why the hell would she call you if I’m right here?” His eyes narrowed, searching her face like he couldn’t believe it. “Are you kidding me?”
Sarah threw her hands up, a look of pure exasperation on her face.
“Are you dense, Rafe? You’re with someone else! Why would she want the guy who broke her heart to drive her home?”
He blinked, thrown off. “I broke her heart? She broke mine!” He laughed, but it was harsh, bitter. “I did us a favor. We were just—”
“Oh, right. A favor?” Sarah cut in, voice dripping with sarcasm. “That why you’re pacing out here like a goddamn lunatic?”
“Go away. I’m driving her home.”
She stepped closer, her voice steely as she looked him dead in the eye.
“No. She called me, she wants me here. Not you. So do yourself a real favor and go home before you do something even more stupid.”
A breathless chuckle escaped his lips, “She already hates me, Sarah. What’s the fucking harm, huh?” He threw his arms out, as if daring her to come up with an answer that would hurt less. “What’s one more screw-up on top of everything else?”
“You’re real dumb if you believe that. But if you wanna make it worse, then by all means, go ahead. You’ll just prove her right.”
He stayed rooted in place, chest heaving, the conflict ripping him to pieces. His hands shook, his throat tight with words he couldn’t even begin to understand.
But Sarah had already turned her back on him, heading toward the entrance.
“Walk away,” she warned him, looking over her shoulder, “That’s the only thing left for you to do right now.”
Rafe didn’t know why the fuck he listened to her.
It was as if his body had already made that decision for him, understanding that if he didn’t leave right then, he’d end up doing something stupid—something even more fucked up than what he’d already done. His tongue was locked in place, a curse on the tip of his pursed lips, but it never came. 
His feet wouldn’t move, his hands stayed at his sides, and that tightness in his throat wouldn’t let him get a single word out, not one that would make any fucking sense. He hated that. Hated that you still had this kind of control over him.
Hated that he just…felt like something was wrong.
You hadn’t been this frantic, so impulsive since he had to take you home after your sister passed. He didn’t want to remember that night—you damn near threw yourself out of his truck.
But he couldn’t ignore the memory, the desperation on your face, the screams, the fight in his grip as he pulled you by your shirt back inside.
He’d felt like he was holding on to something breaking apart in his hands, something he couldn’t fix but couldn’t let go of either. He’d seen it again in your eyes when he’d caught you earlier at the beach clean-up, the way you’d tried to dodge his stare, voice cracking, legs wobbling when he mentioned the hospital. 
Rafe still felt like he’d swallowed shattered pieces of glass every time he thought about you. And if he could just push it down, if he could just get through one fucking day without looking back, maybe he’d start to forget you.
His feet were glued to the hospital pavement, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. If you were about to crash, if this was anything like before…He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do.
He had no reason to stay, you’d made it clear as day. He was supposed to be gone—out of your life for good. You’d told him you didn’t need him, he told you he didn’t need you. So why the hell was he still standing here? 
Perhaps because he remembered the last time he’d let you walk out, the way he’d watched you disappear, thinking he was doing the right thing—giving you the clean end you’d both needed.
Maybe that made him sick to his stomach now, thinking of you in there with Sarah, telling his sister things you wouldn’t say to him, letting her be the person he once was to you.
But you’d called her, not him. You’d picked Sarah to be here, and that hurt like a bitch, but it was what he’d asked for, wasn’t it?
This was what he deserved. He told you to grab your shit and go, forced you to leave because that was supposed to make it easier.
He’d impulsively made his choice the minute he’d wrapped his arm around Sofia, pulling her close in front of everyone who’d once known he was yours. He’d talked himself into it. It was the right call, moving on was the only way to finally get you out of his system. 
He was the one who decided it’d be easier to act like he forgot you than to actually try. He thought he could make it easy—pain-free.
Rafe pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked back toward his Jeep. He gripped the door handle so hard he could break it in half if he wanted to, feeling his knuckles strain.
If he let go, if he closed that door and stormed inside, he’d just be right back where he started.
He stared at his reflection in the window, his hardened face staring back. His pulse was pounding in his temples, his gut twisting and turning as he tried to bury it all six feet under—the need to just go to you, to hold your hand or yell at you for making him care so fucking much.
He finally released the death grip he had on the door handle, forcing his fingers to relax, his knuckles still throbbing. He slid into the driver’s seat, the cold leather you’d help him choose, mocking at his skin as he slammed the door shut.
With a quick flick of his wrist, he threw the car into drive, the tires screeching as he peeled out of the parking lot.
He drove like he was being hunted down. He wanted to get as far away from that place as possible, praying the miles between him and you would stop the churning inside him. 
You’ll just prove her right.
He hated her for saying it, hated Sarah for knowing exactly what buttons to push. 
As he rounded a curve, his headlights swept across Topper’s house. Rafe cut the engine and stalked toward the backyard. Topper’s sprawled-out form on a reclining chair, arms crossed over his chest, sunglasses somehow still on evenly.
He stomped up and smacked the end of his chair.
"Wake the fuck up."
He jolted, nearly tumbling off the chair, ripping his sunglasses off and squinting up at him. “Jesus fucking christ, dude, ever heard of calling ahead?”
But Rafe didn’t answer. He just paced, hands in his growing hair, digging into his scalp like he could rip the frustration out of his skull. Topper sighed, propping himself up on one elbow, he didn’t even look at him, just kept muttering to himself, biting his lip, pacing.
“What the hell happened?”
Finally, he stopped, “I need you to find out what’s wrong with your cousin,” he muttered, not wanting to admit he cared enough to ask.
Topper blinked, brow furrowing. “What do you mean, what’s wrong with her?”
Rafe only shook his head, hands on his hips as he stared at the ground. “I don’t know, okay? She just…she’s acting off. And I can’t—I’m not supposed to care, Top. I’m not. I’m with Sofia now, alright? But she’s still…” His voice trailed off, as he scrubbed a hand down it.
Topper tilted his head, eyeing him knowingly.
“Right, yeah, whatever you say. I’ll figure it out.”
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If Sarah Cameron didn’t walk through that hospital door within the next three minutes, you’d lose all the courage you’d summoned over the last hours. Or was it just an hour? You weren’t sure how long you’d been lying there, the IV needle taped uncomfortably into your arm. 
Your fingers curled into the thin blanket draped over you, and you wished—desperately—that you didn’t feel so…empty.
Ten minutes later, she strode in with a glance at the door, as if she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to get there on time. The relief on her face when she saw you was reassuring but it only made the confusion in your chest heavier.
She was so different from Rafe, yet still looked so much like him. She sat in the chair by the bed, eyes scanning your face like she was trying to gauge just how bad it was.
“Hi.”
You swallowed, blinking up at the ceiling to keep the tears at bay.
“Thanks for coming.” 
“Of course,” She reached for your hand where it lay on top of the blanket, hesitating for a split second before giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You okay?” 
You felt a laugh bubble up, “Not even a little.”
She let out a small breath and nodded, squeezing your hand again. “I figured,” she said quietly, and you appreciated that she didn’t pretend to have some miracle answer, “I made him leave.”
She’d made him leave.
You could imagine his face distorted with anger.
You wondered if he’d put up a fight or if he’d just walked away,  giving in to his sister in that infuriating, self-pitying silence he’d perfected.
You weren’t going to ask, the less you knew, the better.
“Good.” You were relieved, but it felt bittersweet, “I didn’t want him here.” 
Except your voice shook, like it simply had to let her know you were lying.
You’d been telling yourself for so long that you didn’t need him—that you didn’t want him anywhere near you. But the second you pictured him there, waiting… God, you hated yourself.
Hated that tiny, pathetic part of you that still wanted him to care, even if it was just a sliver of anything that wasn’t anger or flat-out ignoring you.
“He threw a hissy fight, but don’t worry. He’s not coming back.”
You nodded, half in agreement, half in frustration, “He never listens.”
“Especially when it matters,” Sarah added, rolling her eyes. “I swear, sometimes I think he just likes to make things worse for himself. And everyone else.”
You recalled the sound of his footsteps trailing yours earlier, the way his hand had hovered near you when you swayed, the wild look on his face when you told him to back off. He had seemed…hurt. Like he wanted to fix something he’d already smashed to pieces.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
She respected that—she wouldn’t insist. There was a lot to unpack when it came to Rafe, but you didn’t need to go there right now. She could tell.
"Okay. Do you want to tell me why you called me and not Topper?”
There wasn’t any judgment in her tone—just plain curiosity, confusion. And you couldn’t blame her. If the roles were reversed, you’d be asking the same thing.
You had to bite your lips to avoid crying for the hundredth time that day. You hadn’t planned on telling someone the biggest secret of your life in a public space, or after nearly having a mental breakdown.
Not like this, with the IV in your arm.
"I—" you started, the words tangled in your throat. "I don't trust him," you admitted quietly, "I don’t trust him with this.”
This.
You turned your head to look out the window, the late afternoon light pouring through the blinds, but it never touched the void you felt inside. 
“He’s too close. He wouldn’t get it. I needed someone who could just… not be involved, you know? I mean—You’re still his sister but—”
Sarah’s already frowning, interrupting your pitying party, “Sweet girl, you don’t have to explain your reasons to me. I’m listening either way. I don’t know what’s going on, but I get it, I understand why you’d want to keep him out of this.”
“You’re the only one I can trust to keep this a secret,” you confessed, “If anyone finds out—if Rafe finds out—it’s over. I’m not ready for that.”
A shadow crossed Sarah’s face, her lips pressing into a thin line. She didn’t ask questions about what you meant—about how Rafe had ruined things before. She didn’t need to. 
“I won’t tell him,” Sarah promised, her grip tightening on your skin. “It’s safe with me. I’ve got your back.”
You closed your eyes, breathing out slowly.
This was hard, harder than anything you’d ever done before, and that was saying something considering all the shit you went through when your family died. She had no idea what you were about to say, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it would change everything between you—between you and her, and you and everyone else.
"Sara, I—" The truth choked you once more, cutting you off. You couldn’t breathe.
Your chest felt vacant, something was missing, something that you didn’t know how to fix, but you had to say it. It was the only way out.
“Are you—" she started to ask, but you quickly shook your head. You could hear the hesitation in her voice.
"Just… just let me tell you,” You begged, pushing the words out before you lost them. “I-I’m pregnant,” you finally blurted out, as if confessing it all at once could make it easier.
But it didn’t. 
You didn’t dare look at Sarah right away. 
Your eyes were stuck on the ceiling, blinking rapidly, you didn’t need her to see how much this was breaking you or how terrified you were. You could feel her eyes on you now, and your hand clenched around the blanket, your knuckles white from the lack of circulation. 
Then, slowly, Sarah squeezed your hand again, she was giving you a moment to breathe, even though you didn’t feel like you deserved it.
“Rafe’s?” she asked quietly, confirming what you already knew she understood.
You nodded, not needing to say it aloud; she could sense the truth in the way your chest hitched, how you couldn’t bring yourself to meet her eyes.
“God,” Sarah breathed out, "And you... you want to...?"
You nodded again. She wasn’t asking if you were sure; you could hear it in the hesitation of her question. She was asking if you were ready to make the choice.
“I don’t want this,” you choked out, the tears finally breaking free. “I can’t have it, Sarah. I can’t. I’m not ready for that. I’m not sure I even know what I want anymore," you spit the doubt out with the brokenness you felt, wiping the traitorous tear that traced down your cheek. "I don’t know what to do."
“I’m here. Whatever you need, however you need to do this—I’m here,” she promised, making sure you wouldn’t float away.
“I can’t… I just… I don’t want him to find out,” you managed between shallow breaths. “If he knew, he’d… I don’t know what he’d do. Maybe it’s stupid, but I don’t want him to look at me like… like he owns me something.”
Sarah nodded, not a hint of judgment on her face, “He won’t know a thing from me, I swear. He’ll never have any say in this, not unless you want him to. This is your choice, no one else’s.”
You didn’t know you’d been holding your breath, but it came out all at once in a shaky exhale.
“Thank you. I just… I didn’t know who else I could ask.”
“Hey,” she said, her voice gentle. “This? This is exactly what I’m here for. I’ve got you, no matter what.”
The empathy there, the way she held space for all your broken pieces.
“New Mexico’s clinic rules… they won’t let me go through with it alone. They said I need someone with me.” You took a shaky breath. “I can’t imagine anyone else but you there, Sarah.”
“Then I’ll be there,” she said, without hesitation. “I’ll get the tickets, we’ll go together. And if you feel like breaking down, then break down, because you don’t have to keep any of this in anymore.”
Her words broke something in you that had been holding everything so tightly. The relief, the gratitude— “You’re really… You’d really do this for me?”
“Of course,” she murmured, pulling you close so your head rested against her shoulder, her fingers brushing through your hair soothingly. “Sweet girl, I’d do this a thousand times over.”
“I mean—he’s your brother. I don’t want to mess things up between you two even more.”
She sighed, giving a small, sad smile, almost like she’d been waiting for you to say that. “You think he’s my priority right now? Don’t you worry about me and him, we always figure it out. Trust me, I’m used to it.”
“He might hate me for this. And if he takes that out on you…” You couldn’t finish.
“Listen to me,” she sighed, “I’m here because I care about you. Rafe and I, we’ll always have our issues—he’s stubborn, and he thinks he has all the answers. But that’s our problem. He’ll never have a say over what I do or who I’m there for. Especially not with this.”
You swallowed hard, “I don’t want you to regret it.”
She gave a wry laugh, brushing a piece of hair back from your face. “You don’t have to protect me from him, remember? He’s my brother, yeah, I love him despite all our shit, but I’m not here for him right now. I’m here for you.”
“You’re sure?” you asked, the question a whisper, almost childlike. You were afraid of the answer, terrified she’d eventually pull away.
“Of course I’m sure,” she replied, tilting your chin so you’d meet her eyes. “Whatever’s going on with Rafe will figure itself out—But right now, you need someone who’s all in, no strings, no doubts. That’s me. You focus on you. I’ll handle him.”
You looked down at your hands, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, “I don’t think he loves me anymore,” you admitted, almost hoping she wouldn’t hear it, “I was so mean when your dad died.”
When you finally looked up, Sarah was watching you with a sad smile, one that made your heart hurt in both comfort and ache. “You really believe that?” she asked quietly, and you could hear the disbelief in her voice as if it was so obvious to her, something you couldn’t see.
You nodded, swallowing down the sting in your throat. “He doesn’t want me, not really. He’s…he pulled away. Like he’d rather hate me than be close to me. He’s with her.” 
The words tasted bitter, and made you want to hurt him twice as bad, but there was finally some relief in saying it out loud.
She sighed, looking down for a second, almost like she was thinking how to tell you something that hurt her to admit.
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” she murmured, with a knowing sadness. “I think the problem is that you two will never stop loving each other. He’s still hurting from dad’s passing, he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to stop loving you. And you—you’re here, angry that he loved my dad so much, hurt that he left, trying to protect me from him, still worrying about me when you should be focusing on yourself. You’re scared he doesn’t care anymore, and he’s scared you don’t need him at all."
Your lips quivered, your heart about to leap out of your throat, your tongue darted out, briefly brushing your lips.
You weren’t sure you should say it out loud, but maybe you had to. “We’re better off without each other, aren’t we?”
“You’re allowed to be someone without him, and you’re allowed to find out who that is.”
You were slipping, falling back into that spiral of guilt and shame, the one that told you maybe this was all you were good for. Maybe Rafe was right to break things off, perhaps he’d realized that, in the end, you weren’t worth fighting for.
And shit, you hated yourself for still caring. For still wanting him to want you, even though you knew it was poison. Even though you knew that being with him, needing him, was only dragging you both down.
“Thank you.”
And as you sat there, in the stillness of that room, with the sunlight dimming outside, you felt that maybe someday you’d be able to trust yourself too. To believe that you were worth more than the heartache you’d come to accept as your own.
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chwefan · 2 days ago
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made4me | vernon
ex-babydaddy!vernon x fem. reader | 7.6k words
i do NOT condone having a baby with a man you're not married to. i do not condone having unprotected sex. please do not be like them omg. this is also a reworked fic of mine so don't worry i am NOT stealing from anyone other than myself.
contains: vernon is the father of your child, you two broke up, unprotected sex, pining, yearning, mentions of a failed realtionship
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
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you don’t know how you ended up in front of vernon’s place. even if you were the one behind the wheel, the one shifting the gears, and the one rolling through red stop signs and impatiently tapping your wheel at the lights, you don’t know how you ended up there. 
you looked out your driver side window to the house across the street. a long time ago, back when the wooden mailbox had your painted hand print on the side, you used to call this your home. now the place almost seemed unfamiliar. the car parked in the driveway was not yours and the mailbox was metal now. atleast you were in your right mind enough to not park directly in front. but you also knew this was just as bad. a car rolling to an ominous stop in a residential area like this would flag the attention of the over zealous neighborhood watch. looking across the street at a house in the dead of night would not work in your favor.
you knew you could’ve gone home. you could’ve let out a deep sigh to clear your head and recenter yourself. then once you realized how crazy you looked you could’ve put your car back in drive and come back in the morning when you were supposed to. you could’ve picked up your daughter the next day and pretended like none of this happened. but you knew yourself better than that, and you knew that reeling from your failed date you came to the old place that used to bring you comfort. 
you turned towards your phone, hoping that something would distract you. but when you opened your phone you saw your lockscreen—your happy little daughter trying to hold a pumpkin the size of her body as you and vernon helped. instead of taking your mind away from the situation you were pulled deeper into it. you remembered how happy you were that day, the vivid memories of talking pictures and experiencing a pumpkin patch with your daughter for the first time. like you were a happy little family again you sat next to vernon with your daughter between the two of you, stealing the occasional glances before pretending like you two were only hanging out for the sake of your daughter.
vernon even found it in himself to have a heart to heart with you. while your daughter went off to play with the other kids he initiated the conversation, talking about how introspective he’s been lately. you watched him with wide eyes as he talked about how you two were too young to have a child, and at an awkward stage in life starting your careers to have a baby in the mix. you nodded your head as he nervously shuffled and looked down at the crackling leaves underneath his feet. you saw his shoulders visibly loosen when you repeated the same sentiment, that you wouldn’t trade your daughter for the world but you often wondered what your lives would be like if you had her later in life. the question hung in the air, you could see vernon contemplate asking you what would’ve happened if you met him later in life. 
you didn’t want to answer his question. the pang in your heart and the urge to reach for his hand made you leave his side all together, running to your daughter on the playground to get away from him.
you still didn’t have the answer as you sat in the drivers seat of your car. all you knew was that you still could vividly see your daughter holding vernons finger tightly in one hand and holding a small pumpkin in the other. 
you knew that your date didn’t stand a chance once he got you started on your little family, and that he didn’t try to hide the knowing look on his face when he saw that your ex was still very much involved in your life. selling the idea that you two were simply co-parenting was alot harder to sell when the three of you occupied your homescreen and lockscreen. he noticed your wandering mind, it was obvious in the way he cleared his throat after you stared at the picture for a little too long. 
trying to comprehend your relationship with vernon was difficult. when you were with him you thought about all the shortcomings in your relationship—the lack of communication, hiding your feelings, keeping things bottled up until they exploded. neither of you were able to save your relationship before it was too late, and it could be argued that you two were better apart. but when you weren’t with him, the only thing you could think about was trying to make it work. you saw pieces of vernon in the man you were seeing, you imagined he was with you in that restaurant. maybe it was the familiarity, maybe you shouldn��t have made the mistake of seeing vernon before going on your date. because the only thing you could think about was him, if he was going on dates in secret and if he was thinking of you too. you thought about your daughter, how much you wished you were with her instead of pretending the fancy food on your plate was good.
you knew the moment you started thinking about your family that the date was already over. when you walked yourself to your car you added another endeavor to your long list of failures, all you could think about as you sat in your car was how you gave up a day you had with your daughter for this. you deleted your message history with the man, staring at your most recent text conversations. vernon sat at the very top, his unread message appearing in the form of a tiny blue dot next to his picture-less icon. determined to keep it casual, even if he was the first thing you would see when you closed out of that app as well. 
you clicked on the message thread, revealing a series of pictures of your daughter and little updates through the night.
vernon: she likes strawberries alot.
vernon: playing zelda and animal crossing on the big tv.
vernon: she’s better than me at zelda now.
vernon: she told me mommy is going on a date?
vernon: i hope it goes well.
vernon: she ate all of her food. gonna lay her down for bed soon
you don’t know why you felt guilty reading the last message. vernon didn’t have the right to know, and you knew that. you had simply told your daughter in passing that you were going on a date night with your friends, knowing that she would repeat whatever you told her to her father. you typed your reply over and over again, trying to figure out what approach to take. 
lol i was going out with some of my friends from wo\
that’s none of your busin\
the date went we\
are you awake?
your mind came up with a million things to say, but none of them felt right. it felt like all of them were attempts at sounding casual. you threw your phone into the passenger seat beside you, and you rolled your neck to try and relieve some of the tension. you let out a sigh and turned your keys in the ignition, letting your car come to life around you.
you pulled out from the parking lot and headed down the road trying to go home. you were positive you were trying to get home, you just took the wrong turn. 
then the wrong light.
then the wrong street.
your mind confused on where to go from the restaurant, you were sure of it. when you had the chance to go back the way you let the thought come and go, and you continued heading down the same road. you took another turn, you even waited at the red light with an unexplainable energy as you tapped the steering wheel. the tension in your neck was gone as you accepted where you were heading.
you knew you didn’t have the right to act confused when you finally turned down vernon’s road.
you let your head rest against the steering wheel when you parked across the street. each time the thought of leaving your car invaded your thoughts, you gently shook your head, feeling the worn leather of the steering wheel cover against the creases in your forehead.
“don’t do it.” you said to yourself.
you looked back at the house again, looking at the window to your daughter’s room. you knew that on the other side of the house you couldn’t see, was the window to the room you used to sleep in. you started thinking about vernon in that big bed by himself, drowning in the california king that was too large even for the two of you. you started thinking about if he thought of you before going to bed everyday, if he thought about you tonight and where you were going in your pretty dress. 
“don’t do it.” you repeated.
saying it a second time was unnecessary. you said it purely for effect, trying to seem like your better senses were trying to put up a fight. but you didn’t even finish your sentence by the time you were taking your keys from the ignition. 
you had already taken your first step out of the car when you repeated the phrase again. you cleared the road quickly, hearing your heels click on the paved road with each step. by the time you made it to the sidewalk you had accepted your fate. you were still weary, slowly making your way across the lawn to the stoop. 
when you made it to the small set of stairs you looked to the door in front of you. the last chance you had to go back in your car before you undid all of your hard work. you knew you were being recorded by the ring camera beside the door. you could simply lie if vernon ever brought it up. you could just say you considered coming to get your daughter before realizing how late it was. vernon most likely wouldn’t believe you, and you would most likely lie some more trying to tell a convincing story. but your gaze went from the ring camera to the potted plant that stood tall beside you. you looked even lower to the painted rocks that circled the bottom. you let the ring camera catch you crouch down to your heels. the same hand that drove you here picked out the discolored rock that felt hollow. 
you held the rock in your hand, feeling the three engraved letters side by side. you held it away from your shadow, letting the moon illuminate the letters. you laughed to yourself for a moment before bringing your other hand to it, feeling for the split in the middle. it was too easy to slide the fake rock open, and to grab the key to the front door out of it.
you stepped through the door, turning the knob so it closed quietly behind you. you took off your heels at the door, hanging your jacket on the coat rack. you felt like an intruder, walking through the house on the balls of your feet trying to be as stealthy as possible. you lurched past your daughters toys in the living room down the hallway to vernon’s room.
“don’t do it.” you said one more time putting your hand on the doorknob.
you pushed open the door to vernon’s room slowly. you cursed at the creaky hinges, only letting it fully open when you saw that vernon’s bed was empty. you looked around the dark room, eyebrows furrowed and confused. when you didn’t see the light from the bathroom you pulled away from the door. you turned around, looking at the pink door of your daughter’s room. you ran your hand over the paint, remembering the day you spent painting it together. she was insistent on putting BOYS NOT ALLOWED on the front until she realized that included her father. it was the same day you painted the rocks outside. memories flooding your mind made you gently push the door open, looking for that home you so desperately wanted, the home that didn’t change even though you left years ago.
when you silently opened the door, you saw your daughter take up a majority of the bed. her stretched limbs forced vernon’s body to balance on the edge. his arm was slung over the side, and he was so close to falling that his hand touched the ground. vernon was on his stomach and your daughter was on her back, both of their snores filled the room. even when the sounds were disturbing the stillness in the air you felt at peace. you felt that sense of belonging, and you felt the pang of missing something so dearly it nearly took your breath away. your own flesh and blood laid next to shared history that was so massive it had it’s own gravitational orbit. 
another revolution and your heart started speeding up. you could stay here for the rest of the night, leaned against the doorframe gushing over the sight in front of you. but vernon was pulling you towards him without even knowing it. you started feeling 
all of your steps towards vernon were careful, walking on the flat part of your foot to not cause the floorboards to creak. the good memories replaced the bad ones as you looked at how blissful they were asleep. you had your eyes trained on your sleeping daughter, making sure she didn’t open her eyes while you crouched close to vernon’s body.
another revolution. his eyelashes casted the tiniest shadow on his face, and he looked so serene in front of you. everything was so familiar, even the things you thought you would’ve forgotten came back to you. he pulled you in even closer. you reached your hand in the space between your chest and vernon’s shoulder with no hesitation. 
you were frozen when you felt your hand rest on his body. looking at vernon and his cheek pressed into the mattress and his mussed black hair. you hadn’t seen him like this in god knows how long. after you called things off, vernon put his stoic resolve back up. he put on a mask for you, a facade of furrowed eyebrows and emotionless stares. you had been deprived of vernon’s softness for so long you almost forgot it existed. now you crouched next to your ex beside the flower lamp on your daughters dresser resisting the urge to run a finger over his soft parted lips or his smooth skin. you almost didn’t want to wake vernon up, afraid that you would once again have the gentleness taken away from you. 
you didn’t know you could miss the view of someone you claimed to hate so much. 
something inside of you wanted vernon to know you saw him like this, unsullied in middle of the night just like when you were together. maybe he would even talk to you in that raspy voice he’d always get in the morning. maybe if you woke him up fast enough you would be able to experience the vernon you loved before his mind fully realized to make him robotic towards you again. so you applied force behind your hand, touching his shoulder completely before you let your hand fully cover the area.
you shook vernon gently at first. his body was limp underneath your hand, moving whichever way you applied force. you looked past vernon to your daughter, who had at some point moved to sleep like you. you drew in a breath, applying more pressure behind your hand trying to rouse him. 
finally he did something, letting out a sigh before shrugging your hand his shoulders.
“go back to sleep baby,” vernon swallowed and turned his head, facing away from you. “we can play zelda in the morning, i promise.” he mumbled.
even if his voice was barely audible, you still clenched your teeth in worry. your daughter was by no means a light sleeper, but all it could take is mentioning one of her favorite things to have her head shoot up in the middle of her sleep. vernon ignored you trying to wake him up again, and you had to lean in close to the back of his head.
“vernon,” you shook him a little harder “it’s me.” you whispered.
as if you yelled straight into his ear, vernon shot up from the bed. you were spooked, almost letting out a sound when he turned to you with wide eyes.
“what are you doing here?” he sounded lost as he looked around your daughters dark room. his eyes were wide as he tried taking in his surroundings. “is something wrong?” he asked.
“no i just.” you looked over vernon’s shoulder to look at your daughter. she was still snoring, but had turned to face her father. if she woke up now she would never go back to sleep. “i need to talk to you.” you whispered.
vernon blinked hard before looking at the flower-shaped clock hanging on the wall behind you. he squinted his eyes trying to make sure he was reading the time right. he rubbed them just to make sure he was really reading it right.
“at two in the morning?” he asked, voice still raspy.
in that moment you realized it was a mistake coming. nothing good as ever happened between you and vernon after midnight. but you also realized it was too late to go back, and a small voice in your brain already convinced you that you weren’t sleeping in your own bed tonight. so you nodded your head again as vernon carefully moved off the bed to not wake your daughter. 
vernon motioned for you to walk towards his room but he still led the way. he didn’t care to walk on his tiptoes or avoid the creaky parts of the floor as he rubbed his face. 
you looked back to your daughter once more before closing the door behind you. she moved to the center of the bed, taking up the little amount of space vernon was occupying. you slowly pulled the door closed until you heard it click behind you. when you turned back into the hallway you saw vernon past the opening in his door, looking at you through the space. he was no longer tired and he didn’t have his eyes squinted in confusion anymore. he held eye contact with you from his room, still as he watched your every movement. the living room was the neutral area between the two of you, the common meeting space. you didn’t know the last time you had seen vernon in his bedroom, or when you were extended the silent invitation to come in. 
the implications made your bare feet timid in the hallway, lingering behind each creak on the floorboards. you looked briefly down the hallway to the front door. the last bit of pride you had was on the other side. you knew vernon, if you left now he’d never mention this again. you coming to his house in the middle of the night would just be another story of something more you two ignored to avoid feelings. he walked towards you, and you took another step. his gravitational pull made you clear the hallway and the threshold of his room.
as if you had never been in the room before, you waited by the doorframe as vernon closed the door shut beside you. he gave you a second to collect your thoughts, leaning against the closed door as he looked down at you. you tried matching his calm, leaning against the wall until the light switch poked your back. when vernon crossed his arms you breathed in deeply.
“what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.
you didn’t have an answer. all you could do was cross your arms against your chest and avoid his gaze.
“i don’t know.” you answered just as quiet.
you could hear vernon let out a dry laugh from beside you. even in the darkness of his room you could make out the framed photo of you two that sat at his work desk. he followed your gaze and cleared his throat when he saw what you were looking at.
“did you enjoy your date?” vernon asked.
“that’s none of your business.” you quipped.
vernon pushed off of the door, and your eyes followed his back as he walked towards his bed.
“i’ll take that as a no.” he said quietly.
when he turned around to face you, you shrugged your shoulders.
“i’m seeing him again.” you lied.
the smug look on vernon’s face didn’t fade away as he crossed his arms to match you. you saw him lean against your former side the bed, head tilted as he caught onto your lie.
“oh i’m sure.” he said.
you felt the familiar rage blossom in your chest. suddenly you felt regret, reaching beside you for the doorknob.
“this was a mistake.” you seethe.
vernon is quick to move in front of you. you can’t even turn the doorknob completely before he clears the space, coming so close to you that you can smell him. he gets even closer and you’re forced to look up at him.
vernon moves his hand to clasp over yours on the doorknob. the warmth coaxes you to let go of the, and he brings his other hand to hold yours. you can already feel the heat across your cheeks, and you can see the blush dust across vernon’s face the longer he looks down at you.
you don’t know why he humors you even though you’re no longer together. you don’t know why you feel so shy like it’s the first time you two have ever been intimate. you don’t know why he takes his time teasing you, to let the tension build to the ceiling. you came to him in the middle of the night in a tight short dress after a failed date. he could’ve taken you in the hallway or bent over the couch in the living room. god knows you deserved it. but he was flirting with you, bringing his hand to brush underneath your chin to keep your head tilted up at him.
“you look so pretty tonight.” he said.
even though the words rolled off his tongue awkwardly from not being in this situation for so long, your mouth still goes dry. your hands reach across to grab onto the bottom of his white shirt. he smiles down at you and you hold the fabric a little tighter.
“you really don’t know why you’re here?” vernon asked again.
you silently shook your head, hoping he’d show you why. he looked at your lips before going back to your eyes. your hands went to his waist, desperate to hold onto something solid as he pressed his leg between yours. 
the movement made your dress ride up. you spread your legs even wider. the thought of him taking you right here flooded your mind. as if you didn’t know the person you used to claim as the love of your life you thought he was going to only give you relief in the form of his clothed thigh. as if he didn’t buy you this dress you thought he’d be careless with it, telling you to leave it on as you rutted your hips desperately on his leg. torturing you would’ve been better. removing emotions from this situation would’ve been better, if this just became a desperate fuck then you could just chalk it all up to being horny after a failed date. 
but vernon started caressing your face before he moved his hands gently behind you to pull down the zipper of your dress. he still remembered that he had to hold the fabric straight to get the zipper to work, and he pulled it down in one smooth motion. 
you got up from the wall to aid him, and you didn’t protest when the dress became loose on your skin. you only continued to look up at vernon, feeling your eyes become glassy as the fabric pooled to your feet.
“you still don’t know?” he asked quietly. 
vernon brought his fingers to run over the trim of your bra, letting out a sigh when you tilted your head back in approval. you didn’t have to answer vernon for him to know your response. he didn’t even have it in him to laugh. something was serious as he bent down to graze his lips on the ball of your shoulder. 
when vernon moved to your neck you brought your hands to his shoulder. you kept him there, letting your legs bend slightly to rest some of your weight on his leg. he was strong underneath you, the flexing muscle in his thigh made you want to grind against him. before you could move your hips, vernon worked his kisses up to your ear then completely pulled away.
“let’s go to the bed.” he said.
you complied immediately, making your way to your old side of the bed as vernon walked around to his. 
both of your stood next to the bed, staring at the other. you waited for his instruction, but vernon stared at you waiting for your next move. the authority made you swallow your nerves, and you reached behind you to undo the clasp on your bra. vernon watched you fully clothed on the other side, completely still as you moved to your underwear. vernon watched you push your underwear past your knees and lower, until you could step out of them. 
as you brought your arms to cross against your chest, vernon let you watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. you looked at his toned stomach, how he ran his hand down his body before getting to the waistband of his sweats. you moved from foot to foot, trying to not make it obvious how much of a mess you were already becoming. getting undressed slowly made it feel like the first time again, both of you trying to remember what your bodies looked like now. you no longer felt like the young adult you were when you first met him as vernon pulled down his sweats to reveal his white briefs. as he reached for the waistband he motioned to the bed, silently telling you to get on first.
you pressed your hands into the foam and crawled to vernon’s side. you sat back on your legs, perched and ready to listen. vernon grabbed your hand that was balled up at your sides, kissing your palm after spreading out your fingers. you wanted to press your hand into his toned stomach and travel down until you could squeeze him over the fabric of his underwear, but you let vernon kiss every single one of your knuckles as he kept burning eye contact with you. when he let your hand fall back to the bed he reached into the top drawer of the night stand. when your mind caught on you shifted on your knees.
“i’m not seeing anyone.” you said quickly.
“what about your date?” vernon asked.
you shook your head, hoping that vernon wouldn’t make you say it out loud. the smug smile that blossomed across his face was enough of a response. he moves towards the bed and you make space for him, scooting over until you’re in the middle of the bed.
“so no condom?” he asked.
vernon eyed you carefully as he put the foil packet back down on the bedside table. the option was staring at you both. he watched you shrug your shoulders and look away, focusing on fluffing his pillows. he sat back on his haunches the same time you went to lay on your side. 
vernon watched you in silence as you started getting comfortable. too much time has passed since he’s seen you like this, naked and getting ready for him. seeing the line of your body settle on his sheets makes vernon want to tell you how much he changed. how he’s not the same twenty-year old who broke your heart by hiding his feelings. he wants to tell you that he’s a responsible adult now, and that his therapist tells him every session he’s making real progress. 
when you settle onto the mattress you turn to face him. vernon notices how you fail to hold eye contact with him longer than a second before turning away. your hand that was rubbing up and down your body goes to fraying thread on the sheets, and your eyes dart away to focus on the wall behind vernon.
“hurry before i change my mind.” you were anything but convincing. your words had no bite as you patiently waited for vernon to fall into his place beside you. “you should be thanking me. god knows when’s the last time you had sex.” you said.
even if you tried to seem threatening, vernon saw your body seize in anticipation when he shifted on the bed. he took his time, going to his back first to fully take off his underwear. he enjoyed seeing you trying to take quick peaks over your shoulder to look at his bare body and hearing your nails scratch the sheets to try and collect yourself. 
vernon put his hand on the side of your knee when he shifted his body again. he ran his hands up slowly, his touch light as a feather to try and make goosebumps erupt across your skin. he scooted his body closer to yours, his arm that was between his body and the mattress fell into place underneath your neck. 
the two of you went into your old routine, muscle memory of your past together in bed guided your movements. you both told yourselves your bodies were acting on their own accord. that was the excuse echoing around in both of your heads as you scooted your body back to meet vernon’s and why he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. you gasped from the feeling, and suddenly the familiarity between you two filled the room. the closeness of your bodies was nearly blinding, you put your hand over vernon’s that had found it’s place on your ass. 
vernon foolishly thought that this position would protect him, that not being able to see your face would help him have emotionless sex with you. but feeling your fingers seamlessly intertwine with his made his heart pound against your back. each time he tried to slightly pull back you only followed him, chasing after the warmth of him against you. 
he thought fast to distract you from his heart thudding in its cage before you could point it out. he reluctantly separated his hand from yours to lift your leg, making it come over his. the change made you lean forward to put your hand on the mattress to stabilize yourself. vernon leaned forward, and bringing his arm that was under your neck to hold your chest to bring you close.
“the last time i had sex?” when your leg was locked over vernon’s he made quick work of you. ignoring everything else he used his free hand to reach between your legs. before he could even make contact, you preened your ass backwards, making a sound of embarrassment at how wet you were. “it was when i came over to put our daughter’s dollhouse together, remember?” he whispered.
vernon let the memories flood over you as both of your bodies shivered. it was months ago, you needed help putting together the dollhouse you got your baby for christmas. you were ever much of the handyman, and vernon wanted an excuse to come over to your new place. so while she was at daycare vernon was invited over, and just like now one thing led to another until you were on top of him. 
he remembers trying to kiss your knees that were bruised from being pressed to the ground and you told him to go away. he also remembers after the fact you used the excuse that you were lonely due to the holiday season. but now it was summer and you were moaning for him like you always used to. when vernon pressed his lips to the side of your face you didn’t tell him to go away, you only turned your head to give him better access.
“you said you hated me then.” vernon said.
vernon pushed two fingers into your heat and a satisfied smile spread across his face when your lips parted. he sees you nod your head, trying to form a coherent sentence.
“i do.” you respond.
you can barely get through your sentence without your voice pitching upwards. vernon feels you attempt to push your hips back to meet hie fingers. 
“you still hate me?” vernon slips in a third finger to try and change your mind. “after all this time?” he asks.
“i do.” you say, shaking your head.
vernon takes your mixed signals as a sign he’s doing something right. maybe by the third time you come to him like this he will get you to say no, maybe even have you initiate the kissing first. he uses it as motivation to keep pumping his fingers into your heat, and bringing you closer by the hand that’s on your chest. 
when you try wedging your hand between your bodies to find vernon’s dick, he moves out of the way. he shakes his head in the crook of your neck. he imagines the look of frustration on your face, the one that’s seared into the back of his eyelids as he lifts your leg further. you fall forward once again from the new angle and vernon lets you. 
“fuck me please, vernon.” you whine into the sheets. 
you use the rest of your strength to push your body back to its side and you moved vernon’s hand down to your chest. he can feel your heart jumping in its cage as you continue whining for him. his chest swells when he feels your desperate hand reach down again to grab his dick. he lets you and looks down to guide his dick to your hand. 
when you hold him it’s his turn to whine. he forgot what it was like to be touched by you that he has half a mind to ask you to just jerk him off. he wants to see if you’ll. get that same desperate look in your eye as your hand speeds up. maybe he’ll turn you around, just so he can see your eyes blow out with lust as he finishes all over your fist. but just like always does he keeps his thoughts to himself and lets you decide what you want. when you pull his fingers out of your hole he leans forward, letting his hard dick press against your ass.
both of you are so desperate your movements become rushed. vernon ruts his dick into your ass from the haste, and you clench your hand around his tip. you have to take a second to regain your composure before you pump his dick again. he thinks you’re doing it just to hear him sigh contently and feel him impatiently rut into your hand. you continue to do it, letting the slick sounds of his precum between your hands fill the room until his sighs turn to quiet whines. 
“turn around.” vernon kisses your shoulder, pressing his lips into your skin to muffle his words “look at me.” he begs.
you ignore him, even though you both know you can hear him. you both know that the spooning position you’re in currently is too intimate for people who claim to hate eachother. you both know that eye contact is dangerous, that it would only bring back feelings you both put so much energy into denying. so vernon lets you ignore him and plays off his pleads by lightly biting your skin. you moan from the pain that lights your body like a fire, and vernon puts his hand over yours to guide his dick the rest of the way.
“ready?” vernon asks.
vernon says it just as quiet as his previous plead. when you nod and whimper out a yes he feels his heart drop. he knows it was an act of self preservation, but he wished to see your face. he had to settle for his imagination and your sounds when he pushed his tip past your entrance, pushing every inch inside you you until his hips kissed yours. you sucked him in and kept his dick in place, fitting around him like a glove. there was no better feeling in the world, nothing tasted better than the salt from your skin that stayed on vernon’s lips. he put his hand on your ass to spread you out enough to draw his hips back. he heard you fist the sheets and he felt you grab his hand on your chest to steady yourself. he slid back in just as slow, cursing each time your walls seized around him. 
it had been too long. vernon was actively abandoning all of his instincts feeling you around him. he felt himself caring less and less about not wearing a condom the closer he got.
“i’m gonna cum if you keep clenching around me like that” he grunted into your shoulder.
vernon moved his hand on your ass to press his hand deep into your lower stomach, causing you to push your hips further back. he swore he could feel himself inside of your stomach, and the sound that ripped from your throat made him believe you felt it too. the new angle let vernon push his hips further into you. you could no longer hold your head upright as you let it fall into the pillows to muffle your sounds. even now you held back, trying to keep some shred of your dignity.
vernon lifted his head to try and look down at you. he could see your eyes closed from the pleasure, and the thin layer of sweat that glistened across your face. the tiny beads and your supple skin caught in the moonlight. 
vernon bent down to kiss your cheek, trying to entice you to turn your head again. for the second time, he could tell you were ignoring him. he forgot what you were trying to protect yourself from as he felt your walls seize around him again. it was getting sporadic, and your breaths were turning into quick huffs. when your hand tightened over his vernon used his leg to raise yours even more. his hand on your stomach found your clit quickly, rubbing circles that complimented his thrusting. you finally turned your head from the mattress, you even turned a little further to look vernon in the eyes.
“i’m so close, sol.” you whispered.
vernon saw you close your eyes and catch your bottom lip between your teeth, another telltale sign of you trying to focus. you dragged his hand that gripped your chest to your neck. you looked down at you trying so desperately to take the tenderness from this moment. if vernon squeezed his hand around your neck like you wanted, it would be easy for you both to claim this was simply just a horny mistake, a borderline hate-fuck. he made that mistake the first time, hand around your neck as he told you how much he hated you. he looked into your eyes when he said it, trying to revel in the way your eyes flashed in pain between the moments of bliss. he didn’t mean it then but he definitely didn’t mean it now—like he said before he has changed. 
so instead of pressing his fingers into the veins on the side of your neck he traveled up to your chin, turning your head so you were forced to look at him. you were shocked, eyes so wide and your face so close to his vernon could see himself in the reflection of your pupils. he placed a kiss right on your lips, not pulling back until he felt your lips move against his. he sees himself in your eyes again, and he sees his spit glistening on your lips. he feels himself inside of you, and he feels your warmth cover his entire being.
“i think i was made for you.” 
vernon meant to say it quietly just for himself as a silent realization, but the way you nod makes him believe it to be true. vernon feels you get your strength back as you push your hips backwards to meet his hard and deep thrusts.
“you still are.” you moaned.
he tells himself that you are just talking to fill the void of silence. vernon also tells himself that you can’t bring yourself to ignore him for the third time this night when you’re looking him right in eyes. regardless, vernon can also feel himself getting closer as you clench repeatedly around his twitching dick.
“oh my god.” you moan.
vernon pulls your body closer when he feels you shudder against him. you start driving your hips back without rhythm, trying anything you can to keep the stimulation going. vernon still looks down at you as you cum, and he smiles at the irony of you trying so hard to keep eye contact. you give into closing your eyes when he slips a finger into your mouth, and he can feel the vibration of your moans around his digit. 
when you start getting weaker, and settling into vernon’s hold he pulls his hand from your clit to pull out. when you open your eyes again they’re glassy. they’re no longer half lidded as you grab vernon’s wrist, stopping him from pulling out.
both of you look down at your hand. you look almost as shocked as vernon, like something came over you to stop him from pulling out. vernon takes it in stride, pushing back into you with a force that has you moaning around his finger. you turns your head even further to face him. he kisses the apple of your cheek and then your lips, smiling against your pout.
“you want another baby?” vernon moved down from your cheek to your jaw. “you really wouldn’t be able to get rid of me then.” he whispered once he made it to your ear.
before you could say anything back, vernon latched onto the skin right below your ear, sucking and pressing his teeth in the area below your jaw. the stimulation made your lower half sink further down onto the mattress, until you were relying fully on vernon’s strength to keep your body up. memories flood back to vernon, but the way he still remembers how you sound and respond to everything makes him think he never forgot in the first place. both of your bodies move simultaneously, when he pulls away from your neck you tilt your head to give him access to the other side. you preen your neck towards him, whimpering quietly when he lingers above the spot.
“oh my god.” you start shaking and vernon feels your nails dig into his skin. “too much.” you whimper.
vernon turns your head back around to press let his face rest against yours. you still suck around his fingers, and he can feel you turn your head to kiss whatever parts of his face you can reach. you still clamp around him, your cum adds to the lewd sounds that fill the room.
“can i cum inside?” vernon asks.
vernon closes his eyes and focuses on everything about you. he hold back until he feels your head nod against his.
“please.” you bring your hand behind you to run through his hair. “i miss you so much” you whimper around his fingers.
“i miss you more.” vernon whispers.
he doesn’t hold back anymore as he empties into you. he turns to the crook of your neck, sucking harshly at your skin to relieve even more of the tension. when his hips still you take the lead, plating your hand onto the mattress to give your hips more stability. vernon grips your ass, kneading the flesh desperately to try and ground himself. he pulls away from your skin to whimper into your ear. 
you two can no longer speak, only communicating through the hushed sounds of euphoria. vernon brings both of his hands to wrap around you, bringing your body as close to his as possible. you can no longer push your hips back from the new angle and that’s exactly what vernon wants. he forces you both to stay still, to feel all of it—the way his dick pulses inside of you as he cums deep inside of you. even when vernon gives you all he has, you both stay in that position. you both settle deeper into the bed, catching your breath as your skin doesn’t break contact. 
neither of you want to be the first to speak or to force the other one to come back to reality. so you two remain silent as vernon pulls out. you don’t say a word when vernon turns your body around to face him, or when he pulls the covers over your sweaty bodies. he returns the favor by saying nothing when your nestle into his chest and you guide his arm to wrap around your body. 
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nadvs · 17 hours ago
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hard to ignore (two-shot) (part two)
pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader
summary when you’re offered a job as a nanny, you can tell right away that you’ll grow fond of the little girl you’re taking care of. things are easy to manage until you realize you’re falling for her dad.
content warning parental abandonment
» part one
» masterlist
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Zach gets you and his daughter box seats for his next home game.
It happens to be on your first day back at work after his family leaves and he jokes that sooner is better than later, not only because his team might get knocked out of the playoffs, but also because Ella could change her mind about wanting to come.
The private space overlooking the stadium is small, only a handful of other people there, as the late afternoon sun shines over the rich green field.
You learned that Zach is a major league soccer player minutes into meeting him. You knew he had an unusual life and a certain level of notoriety as a professional athlete. But seeing the crowds filling the seats below you makes it real to you.
The music and the announcer’s voice boom through the stadium, fireworks going off as players rush the field. All this craziness doesn’t match the man you know. Zach is kind and humble and beneath his silly sense of humor, he has a gentleness to him that you’d never expect from someone whose last name is sprawled over fans’ jerseys, who’s getting cheered for so loudly that it’s deafening.
Ella excitedly claps when her father appears on the stadium screen, his face hard as he jogs under the bright lights. You gaze ahead in awe, unable to believe that this is the world he lives in when he’s not at the house, running around with his daughter, thanking you for everything you do.
After the game ends in a draw, you take Ella home in time for dinner. As you drive, wipers cleaning away the drizzle that just started to fall, she excitedly rambles about the experience from the backseat. You smile to yourself, glad that she enjoyed herself and proud that you’re the reason she went.
As usual, Ella slips out of her chair with a mouthful of food when she hears the front door open halfway into dinner. You watch her dart out of the dining room, listening to the huff Zach lets out every time his daughter roughly launches herself into his arms.
“That was so cool!” you overhear.
“Really?” he says. “You didn’t get bored?”
“Um, it was kind of too long,” she says, “but I had pictures to color.”
“Appreciate your honesty,” Zach replies with a laugh.
They round the corner to enter the dining room and when Zach’s eyes land on you, your heart does a somersault.
“Hey,” he says to you, nervous.
“Hi,” you reply. “Thanks for the fancy seats.”
“They were alright?”
“Good enough for two princesses,” you tease.
“Princess ballerinas,” Ella corrects you as she sits down again.
“Right,” you say. “Sorry. I keep forgetting that we’re princess ballerinas now.”
Zach mirrors your smile, loving the feeling of sharing a moment like this with you. You stand to clean your plate and it reminds him of what his mother said a couple of nights ago. That you look at him the same way he looks at you.
He hopes that it’s true, because he can’t take his eyes off of you. He’s a little embarrassed that you saw him in a match. He’s always loved soccer, but he never liked how much attention is on him as a major league player.
“Maybe you should wait out the rain,” Zach says to you. “It started coming down hard on my drive home.”
“Good idea,” you say, happy to spend more time with him.
The rest of dinner consists of Ella happily chattering with you and Zach. As she clears her plate, Zach’s phone buzzes on the table top. His lips purse in worry at the notification, and then he shows you the severe thunderstorm warning message on his screen.
“That looks bad,” you say. “How long is it supposed to go on for?”
“It says into the early morning,” Zach answers. “Do you want to crash here?”
“I’m sure I could make it home,” you say. “I’ll just drive slowly.”
Zach’s lips part, and then he closes his mouth, simply nodding.
“What?” you chuckle. His eyes dart away.
“Just worried about you,” he admits. You huff an endeared laugh.
“Fine. I’ll sleep here,” you decide.
He sighs a breath of relief and says, “Thanks.”
Zach takes Ella to bed and you settle on the couch, glad you already have everything you’ll need in your overnight bag in the guest room. You eventually hear his footsteps coming down the stairs over the sounds of the television and the rain hammering down on the roof.
He sits on the other end of the couch next to you, so far that a person could easily sit between you. It’s typical Zach, never getting too close to you. The only time he’s ever touched you is when he shook your hand before your interview half a year ago.
“She fell asleep while I was explaining what offside means,” he says with an adorably puzzled expression. “Trying not to be offended.”
“I can’t believe she’s actually interested in soccer,” you say.
“Ouch.” Zach puts his hand over his heart. “Okay, I’m offended now.”
“I mean because you said she never cared before,” you laugh.
“I asked her so many times if she’d want to come to a game,” he huffs. “But you suggest it once and she’s immediately in. She always listens to you.”
“Not when I’m trying to convince her to leave the park,” you say. He chuckles. “Can you believe she’s starting kindergarten soon?”
Admittedly, Zach’s concerned about it. In less than a month, Ella will be going to school and he never was one to have much anxiety before he became a father, but all he does now is worry. He doesn’t want any teachers or kids to be harsh with his little girl. She’s already been through enough.
“She’ll be okay,” you say.
“What?”
“You have that worried look on your face,” you tell him. “She’ll love school. I’m sure of it.”
“You can read me pretty well,” he says, smiling. You shrug timidly, thinking back to how quickly he’d noticed something was bothering you on the night of Ella’s birthday.
“What?” he asks.
“It goes both ways,” you admit. “You saw right through me after the party.”
Zach’s jaw tightens, the playfulness between you replaced by a fragile air. He takes a breath before speaking. He knows he needs to have this conversation with you.
“Do you feel better about what she said?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you reply. Now that you’ve had some time to process, you’re okay. “How about you?”
“Well,” he begins, nerves tightening in his stomach, “it wasn’t easy to hear. Ella shouldn’t have to wish she had a different mom. Jade should be here for her.”
He’s never said her name. He’s never looked like this before, his eyes avoiding yours, hand trembling a bit as he scratches his jaw. You can tell this is hard for him to talk about. But he’s choosing to do it with you.
“You said ex-wife that night, but she was never my wife,” Zach admits.
“Oh. Sorry. I just assumed.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I know I haven’t told you much. When we talked that night, it reminded me of just how much you don’t know about it. I just… I hope you know that you’re… you’re so much more than Ella’s nanny. You’re our friend. And you’re obviously a mother figure to her. And it feels weird that you don’t know what happened.”
His words sink into you, every syllable having an effect on your heartbeat.
“What happened?”
“Ella was a surprise,” he tells you. “Jade and I were dating in our senior year of college when we found out she was pregnant. And then I got drafted into the league and we graduated and everything was happening so fast, but we were happy and… I stayed happy and she didn’t.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, looking at him as his eyes stay trained off of yours.
“We broke up a few months after Ella was born. But we were both sure we could handle co-parenting. She stayed at home while I worked. I could see she didn’t like it, though. She wasn’t a bad mother or anything. She just wasn’t very… affectionate with Ella.”
Your chest tightens. It’s painful to imagine Ella wanting love and not getting it.
“I don’t know. I thought she’d eventually feel how I feel about being a parent. I tried everything,” Zach says, remembering how he’d encouraged Jade to go to therapy or take time away or work while they hired help. It was like she was stuck in her unhappiness. “But then she left and… that was it.”
He finally looks at you and the tenderness in your eyes gives him a breath of fresh air. It’s what you do. Just by being you, you give him the push to stay hopeful that he and his daughter will be okay.
“We weren’t in a good place when you came. But you made things so much better,” he says. “You do an amazing job taking care of her. I really appreciate it.”
Your eyes light up, the smile on your face gentle.
“Thank you for saying that,” you say. “And thank you for telling me the full story. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Zach sighs now that the weight of reliving it is gone.
“I really do love her. I meant it when I said it.” At this point, you’re sure you love him, too, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. “And I feel lucky to get to watch her grow up. This doesn’t even feel like a job to me anymore.”
“So, what I’m hearing is, you don’t want the pay?” he says. You find relief in his joke, tossing your head back with a laugh. “Seriously, though, let me know if you need me to keep things the same while you’re part-time during the school year. I don’t mind.”
“Wait, are you offering to pay me for hours I’m not even working?” you chuckle. “Zach, no. I’m good. I have other things lined up. But thank you.”
“What? Everyone knows you should always accept free money.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say. “How do you even have the energy to joke around right now? I just watched you run around for ninety minutes.”
Like always, Zach blushes when you bring up his job. He’s intense and focused on the pitch, but he’s different when he’s at ease at home.
“There’s a break in the middle,” he replies.
“I stand corrected,” you say. “So, how’d you get into soccer?”
Your conversation quickly and easily drifts into topics you hadn’t explored before, the storm raging outside as you learn more about him and he learns more about you. He’s still on the other end of the couch, but soon, his arm is resting against the back of it, his hand inches away from you as you sink into the soft cushions, beaming at each other as you talk.
You don’t want to stop, but eventually you can’t stifle your yawn, prompting Zach to check his watch.
“Jeez,” he says. “Ella went down three hours ago.”
“Are you serious?” You sit up. “That flew by.”
Zach knew that the more he learned about you, the more of a goner he’d be. It feels like he just went on the best date of his life and all he did was sit on his couch and talk.
There’s something between you and he hopes that it’s not just his infatuation misguiding him.
────୨ৎ────
You were right. He had nothing to worry about. Ella’s more than happy at school. It’s only a week into the year and she’s already naming all her new friends when Zach picks her up Friday afternoon.
Her first dance recital is tonight and he’s looking forward to seeing you and his family there. Ella had even mentioned that her other grandparents could come. They were elated to get the invitation.
And of course, when he arrives at the studio that evening, you’re already there, reliable and steady like you always are. You greet him and his family warmly and introduce yourself to Jade’s parents.
It feels wrong to hear you refer to yourself as Ella’s nanny. You’ve been in his life for eight months now and you’ve nestled your way into his soul so deeply that he knows you’ll stay with him forever.
He’s been grappling with this since he first realized he had feelings for you; this bothersome sense of wrong. He can’t pursue you. Technically, no matter how much it doesn’t feel like it, he is your boss. He pays you to take care of his child. If things went sideways, it could push you to leave.
Although he’s never felt this much love for a woman in his life, it’d be selfish. He can’t do it to Ella. He didn’t even want to date other women when Jade was still around simply because it could confuse his daughter.
But you’re different.
His thoughts are interrupted when you look at him, pulling him out of his haze.
“I saved us seats,” you tell him.
Zach’s sitting between you and his father when the recital starts. Eventually, Ella drifts across the middle of the floor between the other dancers.
“This is the part she’s nervous about,” you whisper to him, recalling how she’d told you that this part in the choreography makes her trip sometimes.
You watch her hop sideways, focused as the music grows faster. You’re so on edge that you don’t realize your hand slips into Zach’s, squeezing nervously. She lands her last skip and rejoins the group. You let out a sigh of relief. Then, you look down, seeing your fingers wrapped around Zach’s.
“Sorry,” you say, trying to laugh it off as you pull your hand back. “I think I’m taking a five-year-old’s dance recital a little too seriously.”
Zach can only offer a tight smile. His team’s inching closer to advancing to the championship semi-finals and the pressure has never been heavier, but even that hasn’t affected him like the tension he’s feeling right now. His whole body is on fire from your touch, and it won’t go away.
When the recital comes to an end, Zach leans closer to you to murmur over the applause surrounding you.
“You going out to dinner with us?” he asks.
“Do I have to?” you quip.
“What, you got a date or something?” He worries that the joke was too much. Too flirty.
But you laugh and say, “I haven’t had a date or something in forever. Yeah, I’ll come.” Although it’s hard to believe that a woman like you is single, he’s glad you are.
The eight of you sit in the busy restaurant, making conversation. As Zach expected, Ella insisted she sit next to you. You have endless patience for her, listening to her talk, answering her questions, letting her pick off your plate. He would move mountains for his child. He can tell you’d do the same.
Zach picks up the bill and you all say your goodbyes to Jade’s parents, who insisted they didn’t need to stay the night. Before you head out, you tell his family it was nice to see them again. He can tell you’re a little surprised when his mother pulls you in for a hug, but you kindly return it.
Connie obviously appreciates everything you’ve done for her son and granddaughter. Zach tries not to daydream too much, but he likes imagining being your boyfriend and telling you that his mom called that you’d become something one day.
When you say bye to Zach, your gazes meet like you’ve been waiting for a private moment for ages. Things changed on the night you stayed over. You went from friends to a gray area of something more, neither of you acting on it but knowing it’s there.
Only an hour after Ella falls asleep, Zach’s parents and sister turn in for the night, tired from their drive in. Zach is too wired, silently sitting in his living room, his tea not having its usual effect of soothing him.
He goes through his camera roll, wishing he could go for a drive to relax, but not wanting to leave his daughter in case she needs him. He stares at a photo his mother took of you and him and Ella earlier tonight after the recital, Ella’s hair frizzy from all the jumping around she did.
His smile is wide and so is yours and you look like more than just someone he hired to help take care of his daughter. You look like a family.
He opens your conversation and sends you the photo. It’s nearing 10 p.m. and he’s not sure if you’re already asleep, but you respond a minute later: Aw I love this. Thanks :) How’s your night going?
Zach responds: Good… but everyone’s asleep and I’m still wide awake. Yours?
You reply: Is your tea not working?
He smiles to himself and texts back: Not this time.
You text: I’m kind of wired, too.
How come?
Not sure.
He replies with a joke: Could be Ella’s fault. I saw her eat a lot of your dinner. It’s probably hunger keeping you awake.
Once again, his mind drifts to the way your palm felt against the back of his hand tonight. Then, he hears a door open upstairs. In case it’s Ella, he quietly rushes up the stairs to run into his mom, who’s leaving the bathroom.
“Sorry,” he whispers when he startles her. “I thought Ella woke up and I didn’t want her to think I was gone.”
“I’m sure she’ll be deep asleep until the morning,” Connie says. She notices he’s still in the clothes he wore to the recital. “Can’t sleep?”
“No,” he chuckles. “I’d go for a drive, but I–”
“If she wakes up, I’m here and if she needs you, I’ll call. Go. You need to take care of yourself, too.”
“I’m fine.”
“Go for a drive,” his mother insists. “She’s okay. I promise.”
Zach considers it. With work and Ella and you, his mind has been sort of chaotic. A drive, even a short one, will give him some relief.
“Thanks,” he finally says, giving his mom a grateful smile.
The streetlights plunge him in and out of darkness as he drives through town. When he got in the car, the impulse to go see you seemed ridiculous. With every minute that passes, it feels less and less silly.
Zach eventually pulls over and looks at his phone, staring at the text message he sent you ten minutes ago. How could he even ask to come over without coming on too strong or crossing a boundary?
He’s not sure if he believed in signs from the universe before, but when you text him right when he’s considering if he should text you, he takes it as his answer.
Nothing is ever her fault. But now I’m having a midnight snack lol. Are you still awake?
He replies: Yes. Just driving around. Do you want company?
He’s nervous as he waits. But then you send him your address.
Minutes later, you open your door to gentle knocks, heart skipping when you see him. At this point, being apart from Zach is starting to hurt. You lied when you texted him. You know exactly why you’re wired. It’s because he won’t leave your mind.
“Hi,” he says, a pink hue on his cheeks. “Kind of crazy that you’ve been to my house a million times, but I have no idea what your place looks like.”
“Is that why you’re here?” you ask. “You need to see it that bad?”
“I think it’s what’s keeping me awake.”
You laugh, stepping back, inviting him in. Zach’s eyes travel over your apartment, taking in every little piece that you’ve put into it. Being here is more intimate than he expected. And then you shut the door behind him, thickening the tension, both of you now sharing complete privacy in a way you never have before.
“Is that an Ella original?” he says, pointing to a drawing stuck on your fridge.
“Yup. That’s me and her and the castle we live in,” you tell him. You lead him into the kitchen as you gaze at the bright crayon marking the paper. “And that’s her horse. She was very adamant about it being her horse. But I can pet it if I ask nicely.”
He laughs and gazes at the drawing, touched that you’d keep something his daughter made up on display. Even when you’re not at the house, you want to be reminded of her.
“Where am I?” he asks in mock offense.
“I’m sure she meant to include you, but the horse took up too much space,” you explain, looking over your shoulder up at him. He’s inches away from you, towering above you. You’re so close to him that you can see the stubble growing over his jaw.
“The tutus are a nice touch,” he says, pointing to the pink skirts drawn on both of you. You laugh and turn to face him all the way. You clear your throat, smitten that he’s really here.
“She was great tonight, huh?” you ask.
“She was.” Zach’s smile is bright, the same way it always is whenever he talks about her. “And she wanted all the grandparents there.”
“I think that’s progress.”
“Me, too.” He exhales. “It was an almost perfect night.”
“Almost?”
“My hand still hurts,” he mumbles, face pinching as he looks down at his hand.
“Listen…” you say with a bashful smile. “I’m sorry, okay? I was stressed.” Zach laughs and it takes everything in him not to hug you. “Was it really that bad?”
“So bad,” he teases, flexing his hand. “You’re too reckless.”
“Reckless? Is that what you think of me?”
Zach cocks his head, staring down at you with a look that burns through you, and soberly says, “No. It’s not.”
His gaze drifts over your face, taking you in slowly. You think back to the first time you saw those eyes, sad and distant. Comparing the way he looked that morning to how he’s gazing at you right now is like comparing black and white.
The light atmosphere has quickly been replaced by a somberness hanging over both of you. Your heart is thumping against your chest. Hard.
“What, then?” you ask.
How can he even find the words to describe how you make him feel? You fit perfectly in every way. You settled into his life like there was always a place waiting just for you. Even tonight, when you grabbed his hand for only a moment, it felt like he was born to be touched by you.
You’ve brought light to his life. He always looked forward to coming home to his daughter, and now he looks forward to coming home to you, too. And having to continue to live like this, acting like his heart isn’t completely yours, is torture.
“I think you’re…” Zach’s tone is low, lids dropping as he looks at your lips before he speaks again. “Perfect.”
Your breath catches. You’ve been able to keep yourself away from him for what feels like ages. You’re not sure you’ll have the strength for much longer. This is the moment where everything can change. You know you both feel it.
“Should I not be here?” he says quietly.
It’s his way of making sure you’re okay. That you want him to be here as badly as he wants to be here. That even though maybe this shouldn’t be happening, you have faith that it will only bring you both joy, and you don’t need to consider the risks because you’ll never have to face them.
He looks so painfully unsure that you long to comfort him. Your hand finds his and he laces his warm fingers between yours the instant he feels you. He exhales slowly, never having felt so vulnerable before.
Too much is on the line. He’s only thinking of himself right now. He shouldn’t have come here, he shouldn’t have given in, he shouldn’t have–
“Stay,” you whisper. Your simple word untangles the knot in his chest. You step closer to seal the distance that remains between you. His eyes finally drift back up to find yours.
“I can’t help how I feel about you,” Zach murmurs. “I don’t want to mess up how good things are, but I just…”
He trails off into silence, sighing shakily.
“I know,” you say. “Me, too.”
“Tell me to leave,” he says with a note of pity. You breathe a sad chuckle.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want you here.”
Zach’s grip on your hand tightens, his heart feeling like it’s just been put together after being fractured for years. His lips part and while he doesn’t know how to say how much your words mean to him, he knows how to show it.
He leans closer, cupping your face, capturing your lips with a soft and impatient kiss. You dissolve into bliss, eyelids fluttering closed as his hot mouth presses against yours, head swimming, body buzzing.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, eyelashes overlapping as you kiss deeply, hungrily tasting each other in adoration. His arms circle around you and surround you in warmth.
He lets out a short, almost silent moan against your lips, relieved and assured and grateful that you want him this badly, too. Everything about this feels right. He’s where he’s supposed to be, standing here, kissing you, baring his soul.
You’re breathless when you eventually pull away, eyes slowly opening as he tilts to plant a lazy kiss on your forehead, thumbs stroking your cheeks.
“I kept telling myself that I can’t like you,” he says against your skin. “Do you have any idea how impossible that is?”
You exhale a contented sigh, afraid that you did actually doze off and that this is all just a dream.
“I think I do,” you reply.
Zach’s laugh is breathy, leaning back just enough to look at you. He’s in awe, his lips tender from pressing against yours, his knees weak as he holds your face in his hands. Now that he doesn’t have to hide it or force himself not to stare, he lets himself drown in your eyes.
He brushes his lips against yours again and you smile under the kiss, placing your palm over his hand.
“Is this the hand I hurt?” you tease, gently squeezing.
“Ow,” he playfully winces, making you laugh. You nuzzle your cheek against his palm and smile up at him.
“You sure you like me?” you say. He’s sure he loves you, but it’s too much, too soon to say at this moment. “You know you can’t afford any injuries right now.”
“Worth it,” Zach plays along.
“I keep wanting to ask you about work,” you say. He hasn’t spoken much about playoffs, but you did a little research on his team’s standings. “How has it been? Are you stressed?”
“Pressure’s on, but I’m fine,” he says simply. Your words won’t find you at first. It’s sort of unbelievable how he doesn’t ever flaunt his success, not even a little bit.
“That’s it?” you laugh.
“What?”
“Your team could go to the finals and you’re just fine?” you say.
“How’d you know that?” he says, his heart warming.
“Had to look it up. Not like you’ll tell me,” you quip, pulling away, his hands falling off of you. Zach chuckles, following you into your living room.
“Are we fighting already?” he asks.
“We won’t be if you tell me why you get all cute and shy whenever you talk about your job,” you say, settling on the couch.
He sits to face you, his knee bumping yours. You love that he’s as close as you want him to be, instead of keeping a distance like before. He finds your hands, holding them in his.
“Just a second,” Zach mumbles. “I need to process that you called me cute.”
You giggle, leaning forward to nuzzle against his chest.
“I’m serious,” you say, your voice muffled by his shirt. “We talk about my job all the time.”
“Oh, come on. Because we have to. That’s the whole deal.”
“Is it?”
Zach sighs, kissing the top of your head, loving the way your body slightly shakes with your laughter. You sit up again, looking down as you interlace your fingers with his, playing with his hands as you wait for him to speak.
“I love soccer,” he says, “but I never expected I’d be good enough to go pro. And somehow, I did and all the attention that comes with it is just… it’s not me. I’ve never been the loudest guy in the room. Never wanted to be.”
You nod. You could tell soon after meeting him that while he’s confident and loves to joke around, he’s not one to demand the spotlight.
“And now the more attention I get,” he continues, “the more people might want to know about me and I’d rather keep Ella safe and give her a normal life.”
He scratches his cheek, uncertainty flashing on his face.
“And… I’m not exactly proud that I’m not working a normal job. I’m always thinking that maybe it’d be better for Ella if I had a nine to five, but the pay is great and I can’t play forever, so I just want to save up as much as I can for her. Then I’ll find something more steady.”
You're sure you’ve never met a person this humble. It’s nice to know what goes on in his head after having wondered for so long.
“Will you still even need a nanny then?” you ask lightheartedly. Zach purses his lips as he nods.
“I will if she’s you.” You smile as he pulls you in, holding you as your cheek rests against his shoulder.
“I don’t think there’s anything that you shouldn’t be proud of,” you tell him. “You’re an amazing father.”
“You don’t know how nice it is to hear you say that,” he admits. The worries that he’s being selfish have been gnawing at him for a long time. He’s always concerned he’s making the wrong choices for his daughter.
“I think it every time I see you with her. I know you said she was a surprise, but you treat her like being her dad is all you’ve ever wanted.”
Zach leans to kiss your forehead over and over again, palm gently pressed on your cheek, like he’s making up for all the times he wanted to kiss you but couldn’t. You start to giggle under all the kisses, hugging him tighter.
“Speaking of,” you say, “I’m sure you’re thinking it, too, but we should keep acting like we’re just friends when we’re around our boss.”
He breathes a chuckle, nodding as he looks down at you lovingly.
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “We’ll take it slow. She’ll be so happy when we tell her.”
“You think so?” you say, your heart blooming from the certainty in his words, from the way he unabashedly intends on being with you and telling his daughter.
“She’s always asking me if I like you.” Truthfully, Ella asks if he loves you, but again, he doesn’t want to use that word until he’s sure you’re comfortable with it.
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “She actually asks if I like you yet. It’s like she knows it’s inevitable.”
You realize that the way you’re wrapped up in each other does feel like it was always inevitable. You know that your heart would never have been able to resist him. You’re glad he feels the same way about you.
────୨ৎ────
A week after the night in your apartment is the semi-final. You’re sitting in the living room playing with Ella with the game on in the background. She’s partly interested, whereas you can’t ignore the ball of nerves sitting deep in your stomach.
Zach’s been opening up more about his job when you get time alone, admitting that the pressure can give him tunnel-vision sometimes. You’ve taken on the workload as much as you can so that he’s not too stressed.
You’ve kept things the same when you’re around Ella and you’ve already determined that if she asks why you’re so invested in what’s on tv, you’ll simply say you grew an interest in soccer after the home game you both attended. But she’s too busy playing with clay to care.
The first half ends with no goals scored. You set up an afternoon snack for Ella, letting her help, your mind elsewhere as you imagine Zach in the locker room, wondering what his coach is telling him and what he’s thinking about at this moment.
Five minutes after half-time, the opponents score. Your heart sinks. Twenty minutes later, Zach scores. You have to stifle how loudly you want to cheer.
Then, the game goes to penalty shoot-outs. Zach had told you how much he hates when a game comes down to that. It’s a nail-biting few minutes, but Zach’s team wins, securing their spot in the finals. In his next game, his team could take the cup.
Right before dinner, you and Ella change into the jerseys you’d secretly bought a few days ago. Zach already told you that even if his team wants to celebrate a win together, he’d prefer to see you two, so you know he’s coming straight home.
He steps through the front door to see you in his team’s jerseys, rushing to give him a hug. Your arms are around his shoulders while Ella’s are around his hips, both of you excitedly cheering. Zach’s heart has never felt so full.
“So, I take it you watched it?” he mumbles into your hair, reveling in the familiar aroma of your shampoo. It takes everything in you not to kiss him when you pull back.
“You did amazing,” you tell him.
“Daddy, do cats ever come to your games?” Ella asks.
Zach looks at you, puzzled.
“There was a commercial with clips of animals crashing soccer games,” you explain, laughing. “It’s a valid question.”
“I haven’t seen any,” he tells her, kneeling to meet her eyeline. “But I hope we get one so I can tell you all about it.”
“Could we keep it?” she asks.
“If a cat comes onto our field and it doesn’t have an owner, sure, we can keep it,” he says. She jumps excitedly, then runs off to play. Zach stands up again, grinning at you.
“Don’t let her watch any more matches,” he says. “If a cat shows up, I’m done for.” You laugh, crossing your arms simply to keep yourself from touching him.
“Congratulations,” you say. “I know you don’t like the attention, but you deserve it.”
“Thanks.” He looks down at your jersey. “It looks great on you.”
“Yeah?” you ask, turning to show him the back. It’s his last name and number. He almost can’t believe this is really happening, that he met someone like you who cares about him this much.
“Better on you, I think,” you say.
“Impossible.”
You face him and he gazes at your lips in the way you know means he wants to kiss you. In the few private moments you’ve had since you confessed your feelings for each other, you’ve shared warm hugs and sweet kisses. You can’t wait until you don’t have to hide your love for him anymore.
“Dinner in twenty,” you tell him. “I bet you worked up an appetite.”
Zach’s legs are heavy as he trudges up the stairs, partly from fatigue, but mostly because the last thing his body wants to do is be away from you.
────୨ৎ────
Zach’s family drives in to watch the championship game at the house. You weren’t all that nervous around them before, but now that you and Zach are privately dating, you’re eager to impress them.
He had mentioned to you that he hadn’t told them about you yet, but he’s hoping to the next time he sees them. He also told you how his mom had a suspicion about you two, which makes you hope you’re not too obvious.
It’s only been a couple of weeks since you decided to date, but every moment you get alone with Zach isn’t long enough. You knew he was kind-hearted, but now that he’s not holding back, he showers you with affection and compliments, reminding you of how much he appreciates you every day.
Just like it is with Zach, it’s easy with his family. You talk and snack and take turns playing with Ella while you watch the game. The game starts off as promising, but unfortunately, the final ends with a loss for his team.
“He did tell me they were kind of the underdogs,” you say to his family sadly, watching the screen. “I still think it’s great that he got this far.”
The stadium he’s playing in is hours away and he won’t be getting home until after midnight. You spend the rest of the evening with Zach’s family, wishing you could see him and give him a comforting hug.
When Zach gets to the locker room, dejected and disappointed, he checks his phone to see a text from you. I know it’s not how you wanted the season to end, but you played an amazing game. We’re all so proud of you, no matter what.
It’s ten minutes past midnight when you hear the front door open. You’ve been sitting in the kitchen, staying awake on your phone after everyone turned in for the night. You turn on the kettle you already filled with water and find Zach in the dim hallway, meeting his eyes with sympathy.
“You’re here,” he mumbles in surprise. You only close the distance, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly.
“Wanted to see you,” you whisper. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve had better days,” he admits, kissing your neck. “This feels good, though.”
“I’m making you some tea if you want it,” you tell him, “but if you’d rather go to bed, I get it.”
“Tea sounds good.” He pulls back, stroking your cheek. “You’re really proud of me? Even though I’m a total loser?”
You half-chuckle, nudging him.
“Never call yourself that again,” you say.
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll stop ‘accidentally’ making too much food,” you joke, earning a chuckle from him.
You settle in the kitchen, reminded of the first time you sat together like this all those months ago to plan Ella’s birthday party. Now she’s halfway to six years old, growing faster than you could have ever anticipated.
After you put the steaming mug of tea in front of him, Zach puts his hand over yours, squeezing.
“I tried to be positive but I saw it coming,” he admits to you. “They were the stronger team. We’ll just train harder and hopefully get them next year.”
“And I’ll be with you every step of the way,” you say. “Just don’t beat yourself up over this, okay? You’re not a loser.”
“Baby…” Zach breathes a chuckle. “Being with you makes me feel like I’m always winning. It sucks to get this far and to put so much work in just to lose, but knowing you and Ella are waiting for me at home… That's what my life is really about.”
You stare at him, awestruck, heart beating so hard that you can hear it in your ears.
“I love you,” he says. “I’m sorry if it’s too soon to say, but I’ve loved you for a long time.”
You bite your lip, giving into the urge to lean closer and kiss him. When you pull back, palm resting on his cheek, you smile.
“I love you, too,” you say. “It’s not too soon.”
“Phew. I was more nervous about telling you than I was about the game,” he says. You laugh, pinching his cheek.
“Stop being so cute,” you whisper.
“I can’t help it,” he quips. “I didn’t forget how you said you haven’t been on a date in forever. What do you think about tomorrow night? Ella will stay with my family and you and I can go out for dinner.”
“That sounds perfect,” you tell him. You chat a little longer before you head home.
When Zach tells his mother he’s taking you out for dinner the next morning, she’s overjoyed to hear that you’re an item now and throws in a few ‘I told you so’s. When the evening rolls around, he tells Ella he’s running some errands and instead drives to pick you up from your place.
Sitting across from you at a restaurant on a real date feels like a dream. He holds your hand on the table and nudges your knee with his every so often, unable to keep his hands off of you like usual. It’s like talking with a best friend, the conversation flowing so naturally that he refuses to believe he’s only known you for just shy of a year.
When he drives you home after dinner, you lose track of time kissing him goodnight.
────୨ৎ────
You and Zach had discussed that today would be the day. Now that you’ve been together for over eight months, he’s ready to tell Ella.
It’s a Saturday and Zach’s making lunch while you and Ella set the table. Long gone are the days of spending just a few minutes together, one of you arriving at the house while the other one gets ready to leave. The three of you are almost always a unit now, settled into a routine.
After lunch, you leave as planned so he can talk to her one-on-one. Zach finds Ella drawing on her bedroom floor after he says his goodbyes to you and knocks on her door.
“What are you drawing?” he asks.
She holds up the paper, three figures under the shining sun. When he asks if that’s you, him, and her, she happily nods.
Zach settles on the floor, watching the way she colors in the yellow sun, her legs kicking in the air. He’s seen a change in his child. There’s no doubt about it.
While she was always a happy kid, she’s grown to be much more expressive and affectionate since you stepped into their lives. You bring out the best in her. The best in him, too.
He tries to force down the tears that come up every time he looks at his daughter and thinks about what happened a year ago. She’s too small to have to know the pain of abandonment and betrayal. He pushes away the thought.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Zach says, clearing his throat.
“Do you want another bracelet?” she says.
Zach smirks, looking down at the beaded bracelet on his wrist that she made for him a few days ago. She made you a matching one that you always wear, too.
“Yeah, if you’re not too busy,” he says. “But that’s not it.”
He says it exactly as he rehearsed, telling her how happy you make him and asking if she’s okay with you being his girlfriend. When she grins up at him and asks if that means that you can move in with them, he chuckles, tears pricking his eyes.
Zach always felt like he needed to make up for the love Ella’s mother wasn’t giving her. Now, there’s nothing to make up for, nothing missing. He wishes the circumstances had been different, but he knows he’s lucky that he met you.
He was sure soon after he got to know you that his daughter would grow to love you. Deep down, he was sure that he would grow to love you, too.
────୨ৎ────
It’s past nine p.m. when Zach gets home from training. Now that he’s in the midst of playoffs again, he doesn’t get as much time at home anymore, but he takes it in stride.
When he can’t find you on the main floor, he tiptoes upstairs in case you’ve fallen asleep putting Ella to bed. Sure enough, she’s snuggled up next to you, both of you snoozing.
It’s been a month since he told her about your relationship and somehow, she’s grown to love you even more now that she knows you love her dad. Zach wonders if Ella can see how much happier he is these days. He tried to hide how empty he felt before, but maybe she caught on.
He’d rather not know. He’s rather not think about the past at all, really. Because right now, as he gazes into his daughter’s bedroom to see you hugging each other in your sleep, he knows he’s looking at his future.
(the end)
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dreamsarebutterflies · 1 day ago
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I didn't mean this particular scene or by the end of the manga but BEFORE that obviously. Ranma's character development is never stopping and that's what I love the most about his character: he's willing to learn and I do believe he knows himself too. After all, you need to if you try to be a master of martial arts.
Independently of the curse itself, parental pressure played a role in this idea of what a man is supposed to be. First, Genma and his mother made a freaking pact to make a MAN™ out of him. The alternative is DEATH. That alone would put things into your teenage head.
Despite this, he inherited his mother's kindness and he's genuine. Those parts can be seen as feminine in the most traditional ways. He wasn't raised to expose these qualities to the world, which makes him awkward at times when he wants to be nice to Akane for example. To be fair, he turned out fine as far as traditional boys go. He can be a jerk but he's a good kid who has actual affection for all these crazy people coming at him and Akane. If they get into trouble or ask for his help, he'd probably assist them.
Ranma wishing to be a FULL man isnt something new but the reasons evolve as the story goes on. Not necessarily because he changes or because he meets new people but we, as an audience, learn more and more about him.
You cannot ignore that this kid who didn't see his mother for ten years and lived in his father's fear of disappointing her for the whole while he was cursed, deeply wished to cancel this part of him so he could get home and see his mother again (and get rid of one more threat to his life). This reason surely existed before she was introduced. Because, as you said, Ranma has no idea what a home is. His mother was initially home. Now, the idea of Home is Akane and what brought them to be together. You cannot tell me he didn't put it into his head, one way or another, that for him to deserve to stay there with her, he had to be a Man™.
Isn't an explicit notion but the simple fact that Ranma mentions getting back to Akane as he is here is a hint that he wanted to return to her as a complete man again at some point. So it was an objective as well until now. It's not insane to interpret it that way, because she believes in him and he learned not to disappoint. But it's okay if he fails this time because he knows that's not really what Akane needs or wants, she knows and accepts him as he is, entirely.
Now he even has a reason not to be selfish, unlike his father. If you stretch it, you can assume that Ranma breaking the curse has never been something that he wanted for himself, it was yet again all about what his parents wanted for him. What always shocked me when I started the show years ago was how docile he was in the first episode. Meeting Akane, he learnt to express himself more and was finally allowed to want and need things for himself. He didn't need to live in survival mode anymore, not just because he had a roof and free food but because people around him are not threatening him on a daily basis. Until then, he never had to make real decisions for himself. Akane gave him a safe space to be who he was and think outside of his parents' unrealistic expectations.
Also, that's just an idea but: Ranma seems to believe in breaking the curse to make Akane happy. I wonder if that's also a way to erase the primordial fight: he lied to her and pretended to be a girl on day 1. Before this event, Akane was very welcoming and nice to him. Probably the first person to act that way towards him in years, mind you. Perhaps it would be a way to make things right.
Martial arts are Ranma's life, but the training trips with Genma were more about survival. In a way, he doesn't start living until he finds a home with the Tendos, but even more, Akane is home. When he's at death's door, Akane is the one who brings him back. She is his will to live.
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thedream14 · 2 days ago
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I recently saw several posts about Logan being a polyglot. From my personal perspective, I agree.
The guy has been around for over 200 years, so it's impossible for him not to know at least the basic structure of other languages like German or French. Plus, we're talking about a war veteran.
Usually, these people, by interacting for so long with other cultures, end up learning from the locals. Also, in terms of military strategy, many soldiers learn words, phrases, and codes from the language spoken by the enemy.
So if we assume the Wolverine: Origins montage is canon, Logan served in both World Wars on the Allied side. He was at the D-Day landings in France and was a prisoner of war in Japan… (PS: I don’t know how my friend managed to get to Asia over the course of a year amidst all the chaos of WWII 👀 Mis respetos lol). Later, the guy was also sent to serve in Vietnam.
As we know from the comics, Logan ended up learning Japanese during his time in Japan. In that sense, it’s possible to assume that he probably learned several languages ​​during his military service in Europe, such as French, German, Italian or Spanish. In addition, he most likely also managed to learn Vietnamese.
It is even possible that in Vietnam he reinforced his French, since in that country, by the early 1950s, many people spoke French, due to its colonial past (French Indochina).
In short, Logan being a polyglot is more canon than the Poolverine being roommates.
***
Personally, I would like to think that Logan knows Spanish and since he took on the role of Laura's father, he has been practicing and reinforcing his knowledge of the language.
Logan understands the importance of speaking another language and how it help to understand the depth of feelings and ideas. That is why Logan is interested in practicing and learning his daughter's native language.
For Laura, that interest translates into love. She is always grateful for her father's efforts to get closer to her. Also, she admires his dedication.
- FUCK ! Laura, can you come over for a moment? I have a question…
- Sureee. I’m all ears.
- What is the preterite perfect supposed to be?
- mmm very good question, I don't know either.
- The Fuck… aren't you supposed to speak spanish?
- Yes… But let’s say I only know one rule…
- which one?
- The rule that says: Te amo mucho papá.
- that is not a rule…
- No, but it is a fact.
- You know, now that I think about it, I also know a grammar rule. Do you want to know what it is?
- Sure.
- The rule says something like: También te amo, mi adorada hija.
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wonsdoll · 14 hours ago
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𝐶𝑂𝐿𝐷 iN LA ── SJY
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❄️ 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒, 𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝖺 .. 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗁𝗂𝗇𝖽
PREC𝓲S 。。 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗅𝗒, 𝗆𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇�� 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝗂𝖽 𝗁𝖾.
심재윤 /⠀𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 reader ── fluff + non 𝑖𝑑𝑜𝑙 au 。。 if you know this song, i love you >3< happy birthday to MY MAN !! ∿ ✦ more
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♫ iS YOUR BODY TALKING, CAUSE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY? DO YOU DO THIS OFTEN? IS IT ALL JUST A GAME? TO YOU IM WONDERIN’ , NEVER SEEN THIS SORT OF THING.. AM i THE ONLY ONE YOU CAME TO SEE ?
moving back to your hometown was supposed to be exciting. you got to be with your family again, reconnect with close friends, and experience everything from your childhood. part of you had forgotten you met jake in your hometown.
it was senior year 2019, when jake slipped a note in your locker saying he has a crush on you. at first you hesitated, “ why would the best soccer player at school have a crush on me? ” you were skeptical, but you went for it.
your relationship was perfect.. for a while. miscommunications were happening constantly, leaving you unsure about where your relationship stood. you called it off, leaving yourself and jake heartbroken. to escape your heartbreak, after high school you moved away.
being a few hours away from your hometown was difficult. you didn’t see your parents often, you were alone almost everyday, who lead you to feeling depressed. after some time away, you decided it was finally time to move back home.
you pulled into the driveway of your parents house, turning the car off as you hopped out of the driver seat. you walked to the front door and knocked on it, hoping your mother or father would answer.
“there you are sweetheart, i’m so glad you got here safe.” your mother pulls you in for a warm embrace, being in her arms after a long time felt like a warm blanket on the coldest day.
it was cold after all, it was the middle of december. the snow was falling softly, and your fingers grew red and cold. you got inside, where you reunited with the rest of your family members. over a cup of hot chocolate, your mother asks about jake.
“have you contacted jake since you got here?” she asks, her hand resting on top of your free hand.
jake.. a name you haven’t heard in months. “no.” you quickly said, sipping on your hot chocolate. you wanted to avoid the topic, deep down though, you wanted to know how he was doing.
“you know he visits sometimes… to see your brother” your mom added, you had forgotten your brother and jake were close. “shit..” you mumbled under your breath.
jake and your brother were on the same soccer team, after finding out they had a lot in common, they became close friends. close friends lead to spending the night at each others houses and play video games.
your brother came out of his room to greet you. “been a while, sis.” jaemin hugged you. your brother never hugged you, but you could easily tell he missed you. you caught up with your brother, during the conversation you managed to ask about jake and his well-being.
“so how is he..?” you ask, sipping your hot chocolate to avoid saying his name.
“who?” jaemin teases, forcing you to say the forbidden name.
“jake, stupid.” you roll your eyes, placing the cup onto the nearby coffee table.
“jake’s been alright. we went to nationals and he made us win the golden cup.” jaemin bragged, proud of the moment. “he’s a great guy you know.. i think he misses you.”
jaemin’s words had you for a minute, lost in your thoughts. you couldn’t imagine your ex of almost 5 years missing you, or even holding onto the feeling you.
“you’d think by now he’s probably seeing someone.” you tried to brush off the thought of jake, as much as you tried, he always came back to your thoughts.
you went into your childhood bedroom, your bed made the same way you left it, all your childhood goodies remained safe and tucked exactly where you left them. you skimmed through your shelves, looking past all your school awards and achievements.
your eyes became fixed on a stuffed bear jake had bought you after finding out you won your volleyball tournament, the matching bracelets you bought on a school trip, and other goodies you had saved.
the idea of throwing away anything that belonged to your past relationship hurt you, it was almost like you were throwing away the memories and the idea of him, which was far from the truth. ever since that talk with your brother, you wanted to see jake again, you just needed a way to.
you decided to grab a few essentials for dinner that night, your father promised to make all your favorite comfort meals but needed a few more things. as you were about to check out, you noticed a familiar face at the register.
it was jake, something about his appearance was different. he looked more mature, his hair got longer. he wasn’t the jake you knew back in highschool, he was far from that. nervously, you walked to the register jake was working at. his eyes widened as he met with your figure.
“y/n.. no way?” jake says, he stops scanning your groceries, giving you his full attention.
“hi jake..” you smiled nervously, it had been a while and it was clear you both were nervous.
“when did you come back?” he asks, his dark eyes meeting with yours, sending a familiar feeling up your spine.
“today actually..my dads making dinner tonight so i had to pick up some things. so you work here now?” you ask.
jake nods, smiling dearly. “ i do, it helps pay for university.” he resumes scanning your groceries, placing them all in a bag. “that’ll be $21.97”
you reach in your wallet to grab your card, you hold out the card for him to take and swipe. jake’s hand gently touches yours, you don’t pull away, instead you found yourself yearning for another subtle touch. as jake swipes your card, returning it to you, your fingers touch his.
jake’s face flashed a shade of pink, he grew more nervous. “have a good day y/n.. hope to see you soon.” he waved goodbye, his smile was just how you remembered, soft and sweet.
jake went home that same night, his thoughts were consumed with you. he wondered about what happened after you moved away, what your life was before coming back. he sat on the couch of his apartment, scrolling through his socials as he normally would. suddenly, his phone rang, causing him to jump out of his thoughts.
“hello?” jake answered, it was jaemin.
“hey, you wanna come over and play that new game that came out earlier this week.” jaemin asked, setting up his console for two players.
“yeah i’ll be there.” jake hung up, he grabbed his coat and a few snacks before heading back out.
jake arrived within 5 minutes, while him and your brother stayed up playing video games, you sat in your bed, your attention growing strong onto a book you’d recently gotten into. within a few hours of gaming, jaemin has fallen asleep on the bean bag chair he sat on.
jake got up slowly, he made his way to the door and opened it softly. his figure made it into the hallway, walking towards your half—closed door. jake knocked softly. “can i come in.”
“yeah.” you said, sitting up in your bed and placing your book to your side. “what are you doing up so late?”
“jaemin fell asleep.. and honestly i can’t sleep.” jake sat by the end of your bed, you could hear the tiredness in his voice and his eyes.
“how come?” you asked, leaning against the headboard behind you.
“because you’re back in town.. and i’m always thinking about you. but now, you’re here.. you’re consuming my mind so much y/n.” jake stopped, realizing he had said too much.
“i should go back.. shouldn’t i?” you asked, unsure if what he said was a good thing or bad.
“i don’t want you to go back, your home is here..with me.” jake leaned in close, the closest he’s been since your last moment together as a couple.
jake’s lips softly pressed against yours, pulling you into a sweet and soft kiss. his lips on yours was a familiar feeling, one you hadn’t felt in a long time. you slowly pulled away, jake had realized what he just did, he quickly backed up.
“i’m sorry.. i shouldn’t have done that.” jake got up from your bed. “i’m sorry y/n..” he quickly left your room, leaving you alone in your thoughts, questioning what happens next.
it had been a few nights since the incident in your bedroom, you refused to tell your mom or anyone, except yunjin, your childhood best friend.
you and yunjin were getting ready for a holiday party, you both wore matching red dresses and a similar heel. “so he kissed you?” she asks, finishing up her makeup.
“yeah he did.. i don’t know what to do now.” you sat down, getting ready to place your heels on.
“i say go for it, i mean your brother told you he misses you .. and he pulled that? you should absolutely go for it.” yunjin stops. “only if that’s what you want.”
“i do.. kinda?” you said, you were confused and lost in your thoughts.
life with jake again didn’t sound so bad, in fact you both grew as the years progressed, you matured as individuals and that was what mattered.
you and yunjin arrived at the apartment complex the party was being held at. the music was blasting, drinks were on the table and everyone was enjoying themselves. you sat down on a couch, your drink in hand as you watched everyone have a good time.
“wishing jake was here.. maybe he’d keep my company.”
you thought to yourself, when in reality, you didn’t know how to talk to him after the incident in your bedroom. you sipped your drink, when suddenly jake appeared from the crowd.
“looks like you’re not having fun, parties have never been your thing.” jake smiled, a hand reaching out towards you. “come.. let’s go outside for a bit.
“you remembered..” you smiled, taking his hand as you both walked out to the balcony. “of course i do..” jake adds, opening the door to the spacious area.
you and jake stood beside eachother, it was quiet for a moment, silence consumed most of the air, followed by the loud music coming from inside.
“i miss us.” you blurt out, a rather surprised look forming on jake’s face. “ever since i moved back here i was afraid of seeing you again.”
“why’s that?” jake asks, his hand leaning against the cold medal of the balcony.
“i don’t know..” you sighed. “we’re both confused, are we no-“
jake’s lips crashed onto yours, a sweet kiss you received weeks ago. the smell of his cologne filled your nostrils, it was all too familiar. his hand rested on your lower back, holding you close to him.
“i know what i want.. and that’s you.” jake smiled, holding you close to him. his eyes met with yours, sending a rush of shivers down your spine.
“i want you as well.” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him again.
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sun-kissy · 1 day ago
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memory | j.p.
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tw: mentions of sex, cancer (apologies for any misrepresentation), main character death
james potter x reader
You were laying down with your head at the foot of your bed, staring up at the ceiling and tracing the cracks in the corners with your gaze. It was something you seemed to be doing a lot lately. There’s nothing on your mind, it seems you have no energy to even think these days.
Your husband doesn’t knock before he enters, he never does. You don’t mind. His voice is soft as he coaxes you out from where you’ve taken sanctuary in a softly lit corner of your brain. He calls your name a few times, rubs his fingers lightly on your wrist. You come to.
“Hi.” You sound hoarse.
James smiles gently, sliding his fingers down to your hand to give it a squeeze. “Hey. Lost you for a second.”
“I’ve been lost for hours, I think,” you murmur, voice straining as you push the heels of your palms into the mattress and sit up. James opens his mouth to ask if you want to talk about it, but then thinks better of it. He doesn’t want to tire you out when you’re like this.
Droopy eyes, sunken eyelids. Your lips are chapped and teeth yellow. You tell him that you’re fighting, you’re really trying – but he knows better. You’ve already given up.
You use your hands to feel for something on the bed around you, frowning when you come up with nothing.
“What do you need?”
“A hairband. But hold on, I can get it –”
He shushes you, gently grabbing your shoulders and turning you so your back is facing him. It scares him to feel your shoulder bones peeking out from underneath your thin T-shirt, rough edges to your soft soul. He knows it’s not your fault, but can’t help but feel angry anyway. The medicines and treatments were supposed to help you, not wear you down until you were nothing but a walking skeleton. Not even your soul was intact; cancer had stolen your will to live too.
The silence is deafening as he wraps the hairband around what little is left of your hair, the strands few and far between. He even takes care to brush the hair on your sideburns back.
You think about striking up a conversation but decide against it. The moment was soft, so you would let it stay that way. Who knew how many more days you had, to feel the gentleness of his touch on the nape of your neck?
The shriek of a baby drags through the air, and James drops his hands while letting out a sigh. Harry was crying again. Sometimes you wondered if your baby could feel all of it, the tension and fear and sadness which permeated your home. Maybe that’s why he cried so much. God knows you’d be crying all day if you had the energy to.
“I’ll be back after I check on him,” he whispers, brushing his fingers across your shoulders before standing up and making his way out the room.
You lay back down, turning away from the door. You can hear James cooing, coaxing your son back to silence and sleep. He was always made to be a father, you’d told him that umpteen times before. You just wished he would have chosen someone else to have children with. You had little time left to live, even lesser to be a mother.
As promised, he comes back. You feel the bed dip as he lays behind you, arms coming to wrap around your waist and pull you back until you’re fit snug against his chest.
His breath is warm on the shell of your ear, loud. You let your eyes flutter shut as you listen to it, feel the calluses of his palm flat against your stomach. You can’t help but think this must be a nice way to die, in the arms of life.
“Are we going to be alright?”
The question slips out before you can stop it. It hangs in the air like a burden, like the weight of it was somehow holding it up.
The hot air next to your ear goes cold for a moment. “I don’t know,” James replies quietly. It’s an honest answer, but it’s not what you wanted.
What did you want? For him to lose hope, to admit defeat like you have? You could see the strength it was taking for him to hold on, to not slip into the depths of despair and hopelessness as you have. It was admirable, sometimes even enviable. But how thin was the line between hope and delusion? How long could he pretend that this wasn’t a losing battle, that you couldn’t drop dead any second?
But you wouldn’t berate a lover for hoping. So you turn towards James, his name slipping easily from your mouth as your lips meet. Soft kisses turn into rough touches, clothes abandoned and hands all over each other; bodies and souls entangled in messy desperation. It was an escape, a way to shut out the thoughts neither of you would admit to having. Maybe this was the last time you would ever have sex. So you made the best of what little strength you had, till the silk sheets were covered in white and James was covered in your love. You were covered in sadness, as you always were. And cancer. The cancer never stopped clinging to you.
That was one day your memory hung on to, maybe because of the sheer catharsis you experienced.
You wish you could’ve said the day of your death was another unforgettable one, but it really wasn’t. You had breakfast in bed, ran your fingers through James’ curls. You even had the willpower to spend some time with your son. Not enough for him to get attached, like you were so afraid of, but enough for him to know he had a mother once. The rest of the day was spent in bed, drifting between the lines of wakefulness and temporary unconsciousness. At one point, temporary became permanent.
James knew you were sorry for not being able to stay; you wished he knew how sorry you were about not wanting to. As the sky welcomed you with open arms, you could only hope that memories would be enough to immortalise you.
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yanmuffins · 2 days ago
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asks 3.
more asks i'm answering in a bulk about p&f! reader! there's two for vampire! reader at the end of the post, though.
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@amethystjellyfish
jon better keep an eye out for selener.
ok, to be fair, damian knows the family's gotten pretty overbearing at this point. father was not at all pleased to discover the stunts they (damian included) pulled over the course of the summer. and he, too, knows that his sibling is feeling cooped up with all the excessive supervision. but.
but.
just who does jon think he is to try and take their sibling away from their home? he was supposed to be damian's friend, and it is for the sake of their friendship he'll overlook such an absurd suggestion and not tell his family on the condition jon never says anything like that again. let's just hope tim wasn't listening, else he would rat them all out since he (and everyone else in the family) has zero issues with kicking jon out the manor if he keeps putting those ideas in p&f! reader's mind. poor jon (╥ ω ╥)
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@akatsukki677
the referenced scene!
one of my favorite candace moments.
also, why is this so in-character for them? i am begging someone please draw this.
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NOT DAMIAN SECRETLY LIKING DUCKY MOMO!!! you are all so big-brained. you know, dick would ask p&f! reader about it next time they bumped into each other. and he will find out about damian's love for ducky momo one way or another (not that reader would snitch, but dick is dick. he would notice).
i don't much to add, but here are some more gems (jason being cute with perry, though, i love it sm):
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i have a sinking feeling that if jason somehow came to know of perry's secret identity as agent p before everyone else he would have so much fun gaslighting tim. yeah. he's a platypus. just a platypus, tim. chill. go to sleep.
... then he fistbumps perry when tim's not looking.
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p&f! reader and damian bringing in cryptids and magical creatures into the manor like it's another ordinary day seems like something that would absolutely happen, yes.
the horse with fins is just what they salvaged from their very succesful trip to atlantis, they'll find horsie a good home eventually. and for every unlikely creature and plant they stumble upon, they just blame it on damian. they're his thing, after all! i don't think it would happen often, but damian still wouldn't enjoy getting scolded for animals that aren't his. nevermind that he may or may not be connivent in finding those animals, sneaking them into the house and finding them proper homes. that's not relevant.
trying to blame it on reader will just get him incredulous looks from his family. no, reader did not find a dodo bird, that's impossible. there's no way they could do that.
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@amethystjellyfish
not only is he trying to convince p&f! reader that their pet platypus is secretly evil and plotting tim's demise specifically, he's trying to convince the entire manor. he has a powerpoint presentation. he has flashcards. he has become damian 2.0 but instead of reader's, he's trying to bust the platypus. obviously, p&f! reader thinks it's silly. damian straight up laughs at tim. bruce is too tired to even sigh.
"it's just a platypus, tim, they don't do much", they say. fools, the lot of them. there's something off about that semiaquatic egg-laying mammal and HE'S GOING TO PROVE IT.
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yup, he's p&f reader's isabella! and yes, i think besides damian and jon, they very much have a group of friends from metropolis. damian wouldn't get along with them too well, at least at first, but jon integrates fine into the friend group.
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@randomlyappearingartist
good question! i guess we'll just have to chalk it up to p&f! reader's cartoonish luck that they haven't come across any actual evil villains who want to user their genius for their own nefarious purposes.
it would be interesting to just see a bunch of villains arguing and fighting between each other to offer p&f! reader an internship or kidnap them so they can build evil contraptions. but, in the end, reader never gets kidnapped, never becomes aware there are villains out there wanting to scout them, because the villains keep thwarting each other before they even reach p&f! reader. so something like this:
evil goon: hey kid, kid! i gotta talk...
evil goon from another villain: immediately tackles him to the ground and they start fighting. reader is none the wiser.
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one of my favorite gags is people who shouldn't have guns pulling out guns at dramatically appropriate times. and it makes sense! i mean, p&f! reader is bruce's kid, so them being prepared for every possible situation just feels natural.
although... i reckon they'd be more creative than just straight up having a gun. probably a more creative non-lethal item of their own making that was meant as a weapon but could absolutely be used as such, which would also be so, so funny.
like this:
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vampire! reader try to hide her vampirism (impossible)
the asks i've gotten about reader being terrible at hiding that she's a vampire in the manor (and the implications that her family is kinda brushing it off and accepting her excuses) are so great. yeah, sure, reader fell and that's why she's covered in copious amount of blood, stephen king's carrie-style. it does make them very suspicious but like.... what else would it be?
and honestly, tim and steph have no idea how relieved they should be that reader is staring at crime scene photos when there's two human beings full of blood right there with her. i'm surprised no one has sent in a bruce scenario where she's being completely erratic and he's just sitting there, perplexed, unsure on how to proceed
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in1-nutshell · 19 hours ago
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With tfa Megatron getting a version of Ophelia can you give earthspark megs his own Ophelia? And him just getting parenting tips from dot?
Introducing TFE Ophelia!
Hope you enjoy!
TFE Ophelia
SFW, Platonic, Familial, ANGST, Mention of injuries, Hinted Romance, Cybertronian reader
TFE
She was a small sparkling living near the mining tunnels when D-16 first found her.
The poor thing was all soot covered and looked like she hadn’t refueled in a long time.
He kept on passing her scraps of energon, until one day he picked her up and brought her home.
Orion was surprised to find the sparkling in a highchair munching happily on an energon goody in his friend’s home.
Orion: “…” D-16: “… Pax—” Orion: “What happened to ‘I’m not getting attached’?” D-16: “I’m not!” Orion raises his optic and looks at D-16’s arms. They were filled with blankets, a heating pad and energon bottle with markers. Orion: “Right…” The sparkling chirps. Orion: “Just wait until Ariel finds out you have been keeping a sparkling from her.” D-16: “Wait no!”
Given the tight work hours D-16 and Orion were given, it was up to Ariel to help out with the babysitting.
Sure, she was also working similar hours, but she had managed to get it fixed enough for her to babysit the sparkling.
Ariel absolutely adored the tiny bean, even strapping the bean to her chassis so she could exercise while having the sparkling nearby.
Though D-16 made sure to start being more present once he came back and his sparkling started giving him Ariel’s signature smirk.
It would also be on one of these visits that she would get her name.
D-16 and Orion arrive at Ariel’s home. Ariel opened the door with the sparkling clinging to her helm. Ariel: “Welcome home mechs.” They all entered the home. D-16 tries to get his sparkling, but Ariel swats his servo away. Ariel: “No touching Ophelia until you’ve decontaminated yourself.” D-16: “I suppose—wait, Ophelia?” Ariel puffs her chassis. Ariel: “That’s her name! Isn’t that right Ophelia?” The sparkling whirls and chirps happily. Orion coos and reaches out for her but is also swatted by Ariel’s servo. Ariel: “That includes you too Pax!” D-16: “You named her! I was supposed to name her!” Ariel: “Okay what did you have in mind?” D-16: “… Lithia?” Ariel: “No.” D-16: “What do you mean no!” Orion: “Why don’t we let her decide. Call out her name and see which one she reacts best.” D-16: “Lithia, hey Lithia look at me.” The sparkling just stared at him blankly. Ariel: “Ophelia!” The sparkling starts giggling and chirping. Orion: “Guess that’s settled then.”
Ophelia wouldn’t have too many memories of her Uncle Orion and Auntie Ariel.
Too young to be thrusted into a war.
Given Ophelia being a youngling, there wasn’t much she could do.
Mainly staying by Megatron’s side or with any other trusted Con’s on base.
Which was really just Soundwave.
He mainly watched over her, so she never went too far or did anything dangerous.
The mini’s also helped and made sure she was okay.
Megatron: “Soundwave, where is Ophelia?” Soundwave opened his chassis. Ophelia was snoring softly. He gently takes her out and places the minibot in his servos. She was still small enough to fit in his servos. Megatron nods: “Soundwave.” Soundwave nods: “Lord Megatron.”
Once she was older, Megatron started training her.
Not only in the ways of combat, but to ready her to be the new leader of the Decepticon’s when the time came.
At first it was okay, a bit intense for her smaller frame, but, she kept on going to make her father proud.
But soon the training was getting too intense, borderline torturous.
The sessions were starting to leave her limping, dented and bleeding.
There had been multiple times Con’s carried her or called someone to get her to the med bay from how beaten she was.
Ophelia was limping, clutching her bleeding pede. She tenses when she hears a set of pede steps. Frenzy and Rumble: “ ‘Lia!” Two sets of servos grab her shoulders. She yelps at the sudden touch. Ophelia quickly shuts her mouth and fakes a smile. Ophelia: “Hey Frenzy, Rumble…” A larger pair of servos carefully lifts her up. Soundwave: “What happened?” Ophelia groans. Ophelia: “Training was a bit… tougher today.” Soundwave’s visor darkened a bit before he started walking to the med bay.
Most cons had respect for Ophelia.
Though she was the the head archivist and known pacifist, Ophelia was kind, a trait almost lost in the war.
She cared for the cause.
And despite her size, the minibot always spoke to her father about the members of their cause, whether to remind him that there were still some cons left behind or the need to get more supplies to feed them.
It risked her getting harsher training sessions but it was something she was willing to take for them.
It was the reason many were still online to this day.
A reason why most had already sworn loyalty to her in the case she ever did become the next leader of the Decepticons.
It was years into the war, everyone was tired and restless for an end.
It had been a terrible mission and Starscream was naturally to blame.
Except this time, it wasn’t his fault.
Megatron didn’t see that.
And started beating him senselessly.
Ophelia was walking past the room when she spotted Starscream get thrown into the wall. She stopped in her tracks. No, there was no way Megatron would blame Starscream for today’s loss… She was proven wrong as the war lord stalked over to him. The minibot quickly ran into the room and got in between the fallen Seeker and Megatron. Her appearance had surprised them both. Megatron: “Ophelia. Move.” Ophelia: “Why are you punishing Starscream?! He hasn’t done anything recently to deserve it!” Megatron: “Step. Aside.” Ophelia started to tremble a bit but glanced at Starscream. His dents and scraps stopped her from moving. Firmly standing her ground, she looked at him straight in the optics. Ophelia: “No.” Both mechs were surprised by this. Megatron: “Starscream… leave us.” The Second in Command looked hesitant but ended up leaving the room. The minibot looked sternly at her father. Ophelia: “Father, this has gone on for far enough. The beatings, the training, this war! We need to change. We need to talk to—” SLAM! Ophelia didn’t even register the kick Megatron delivered on her chassis until she slammed into the wall and fell on her face. She tried to get up but yelped at a sudden harsh pressure on her backstruts. Megatron was stepping on her, hard. Ophelia: “FATHER! FATHER STOP! PLEASE!” CREAK! Ophelia screamed louder as her energon began pooling from the mini rivers from the new and old cracks in her frame. Ophelia: “FATHER! FATHER STOP! STOP YOU’RE HURTING ME! IT HURTS!” Megatron, with a face of no remorse, stomped on her one last time before looking at the damage. The floor had cracks and a small minibot indent in it. Energon dribbling from her frame and pooling underneath. By some miracle, Ophelia was still awake, just barely. He reached down and grabbed her helm and held her up. She yelped at the sudden harsh movements. Held at optic level, Megatron sneered at her, pressing his fusion canon close to her face. Megatron: “Let this be the last time you EVER think on crossing me, little one.” THUD! He dropped her on the ground and walked away. Ophelia cried as she tried to crawl on the floor. A set of unfamiliar pedes appeared in front of her. She couldn’t hear what was being said as the darkness consumed her. At the medbay… Soundwave was in the med bay with some of the medics. A Vechicon kicks down the door, he was holding a bloodied, limp Ophelia in his arms. Soundwave: “Stev—” Steve: “SOMEONE HELP HER!”
A few days after that beating, the entire Decepticon armada was shook to its core.
Megatron had defected.
Ophelia had to ask if she was still hallucinating from the medication given or the energon loss because it didn’t seem real.
Megatron?
Defect?
But he was their leader!
Why would he?!
How could he!?
Another realization fell on her.
With no leader, the title went to the next in line.
Ophelia was in charge now.
Shockwave, Starscream and Soundwave were behind her and ready to help the new leader in her position.
For once all four of them had begun to work together to try and keep everything from falling apart.
Ophelia did her best to to lead the Cons and she did a good job considering the circumstances, but given the closing of the spacebridge and the overwhelming forces of the Autobots and humans…
By splitting up, it would give the Autobots a harder time catching all of them than staying in one big group.
Ophelia sent the Cons one finally message on the main communication line.
Stay safe and hide.
There was no other alternative.
Ophelia was the last Con to leave the base before the human forces came.
She had left with Soundwave and lived with him for a while before a sudden GHOST trap had separated them.
She hadn’t seen or heard from Soundwave or anyone since.
Ophelia is stumbling across the rocky terrain. Ophelia had injured her pede from her last encounter with GHOST, the new human group hunting down Decepticon’s. She would have sent out a message to any Con still out there… if that human hadn’t blasted her communication set up. Ophelia was trying to climb up a set of steep rocks. SNAP! Ophelia lost her grip. She waited for her back to make contact with the ground. Instead, a pair of servos had caught her. They felt strangely familiar. Ophelia looked up at who caught her. It was a vechicon. They stared at each other for a minute before he placed her down gently. Steve: “Lady Ophelia! It is good to see you are well.” Ophelia: “… Ophelia.” Steve: “What?” Ophelia: “Please, don’t call me ‘My Lady’. Just Ophelia. And you are?” Steve: “Steve My—I mean Ophelia.” He notices her pede sparking. Steve: “What happened to you?” Ophelia grimaces: “GHOST lackeys got lucky.” Steve: “I think I have a med kit back at my hide out. It might help with that.” Ophelia starts to stand up, but Steve had picked her up and started carrying her bridal style. Ophelia: “You don’t need to do this. I still have a pede, I can walk.” Steve: “You still have a pede but you won’t if you continue to put more pressure and strain on it.” Ophelia blinked. Steve: “I’m sorry! I stepped out of line—” Ophelia: “What? No, no you’re right.” Steve blinked. Ophelia: “Forgive me, I can be a bit stubborn sometimes.” Steve smiles as he starts walking. Steve: “But that stubbornness did get the lower ranks more supplies and energon. Something many of us are grateful for.” Ophelia smiled shyly. The two chatted as they made their way to the hideout as the sunset in the horizon.
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enigma-the-mysterious · 2 days ago
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AITA for trying to accomplish my father's dreams and hurting my best friend in the process?
Alright, here we go. So, I (30M) have been working on a pretty intense task for the last few years. I made a promise to someone very dear to me—my father, to be exact—that I would do whatever it takes to accomplish it. To do this, I had to take some drastic steps. We’re talking undercover stuff, working within a system that’s more rotten than an overripe jackfruit, all to get closer to taking down the enemy from the inside.
To accomplish this mission, I needed a special promotion. I have been putting myself through hell and back, but those racist assholes at higher up kept passing over me to promote Mediocre White Dude #57. Then a few months ago, I finally, FINALLY made some solid progress when my boss's wife guaranteed me the promotion if I could track down and arrest some anonymous dude who was proving to be a security issue for my boss. Pretty straightforward, right?
Now here’s the issue. At about the same time a few months ago, I met this guy; let’s call him A (26M) for now. My work-life balance had honestly been, well, shitty to say the least, thanks to my father's mission, and I barely had the time to socialize and make any meaningful connections in the city I moved in. Meeting with A had been a chance encounter too. Long story short, we clicked instantly and became fast friends. He is a great guy all around— smart, funny, passionate, good natured, kind, helpful— just about everything you can possibly wish for in a friend (although he could be a little naive sometimes).
But here’s the kicker: a few days earlier, I found out that A has been lying to me about... basically EVERYTHING! ALL this time. He is not from the city; the people he claimed to be his family are not even related to him. Even his name isn't A, it's B! But what's worse is that he is exactly the guy I was supposed to arrest. And he was on a mission too. Except his mission was not targeting my boss, it was to rescue someone— his sister M (9F) to be exact— my boss and his wife had kidnapped and enslaved (long story). Yup, that’s right, we were on opposite sides without even realizing it.
Things escalated quickly. I... well… I had to make a choice. I chose to betray him to keep up my own cover and stick with my father's mission. And yeah, it was brutal— there was a literal fight to the death involved. I tried to convince him at first to surrender without fighting, but of course B didn't listen and refused to back down. I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to turn on someone I came to respect, even love…. uhh…. like a brother, of course.
And then, to rub salt to the wound, once I arrested him, my boss (FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK DIE BITCH) ordered me to flog B publicly till he fell to his knees and begged for mercy. Yeah, those were his exact words, that bastard! I felt like I had no choice, so I did what I was told. And it was one of the worst days of my life. I kept asking B to kneel so I could end the torture, but he is one stubborn and tough motherfucker and decided he would rather suffer through a public torture session than kneel. My dickface boss and his bitch wife weren't satisfied with how little blood I was drawing out of B, so they kept escalating the torture until B couldn't take it anymore and fell unconscious.
I ended up hurting him so badly, both physically and emotionally. It is fucking me up, honestly. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even get out of my bed right now. I honestly feel like dying.
So, AITA for betraying and hurting my best friend to accomplish my father's mission? I did what I thought was necessary to save countless lives, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I went too far.
Edit: No, B did not know that I worked for the people who kidnapped his sister. He did not befriend me to take advantage of my position, as some of you have been implying. He did not, I repeat, he did NOT betray me. If anyone has betrayed and wronged him, it's me!
Edit 2: No, I didn't tell B my real intentions and my father's mission. Didn't you read the post? I am working UNDERCOVER!
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geekgirles · 2 days ago
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I've seen people say things about Amalia not being queen material because she was always far from her kingdom, and I can't help but think they're taking everything at face value. Like they assume that just because the plot takes place while Amalia is usually away on an adventure, that's all there is to it and her circumstances, when in reality nothing is further from the truth.
First of all, back in season 1 the show didn't exactly shy away from confirming Amalia essentially spent her early life confined in the Sadida Kingdom and most likely never stepped foot outside of it until she decided to run away. Hence why she failed to understand the chamberlain wouldn't be able to pay for her expenses when she was in Bonta.
And why did she run away in the first place? That's right. Because her family insisted she remained cooped up in the palace ever since the queen's death. And considering Queen Sheran Sharm died when Amalia was little, that all means she had spent 13 years "trapped" in her kingdom as early as season 1.
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Now, I don't think we have an exact date for the Brotherhood's adventures, how long they lasted. But I'm gonna go with my gut and say each journey they took place in the span of several months to a year, tops.
That would mean the first time Amalia left home she wasn't away for that long, anyway.
Not to mention, after dealing with Nox and before Eva herself ran away to get Pinpin back in season 2, it was established the Brotherhood of the Tofu spent several weeks, maybe a month or two, in the Sadida Kingdom. With Yugo and Adamaï helping Amalia with her duties because she was swamped with them, to the point she somewhat reverted back to her brattier days (which is not excusable, but it does show that, at 13-14 at the least, Amalia was already in charge of many administrative duties and responsibilities and under a lot of stress).
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In fact, the only reason she didn't stay in her kingdom for the entirety of the season, besides her wanderlust, is the fact that trouble kept popping up. Originally, they only left to get Eva back after she ran away in search of Pinpin, and once they returned from that, the only reason they left the kingdom again was because of Qilby's appearance and his lies deceiving them into helping retrieve his Dofus by painting it as a humanitarian mission for the sake of the Eliatropes.
And before you point out Amalia was supposed to stay in her kingdom that time around but chose to run away again, let's not forget how, technically speaking, she didn't sneak away at all, shall we?
In season 2, the roles had been reversed. Amalia thought she was sneaking away again, but not only was Eva in the know and totally in favour of it (as opposed to her reluctance from season 1), but so was King Sheran Sharm. Remember? He went as far as to have Renate and Canar prepare plenty of provisions for her. Meaning, that time around, Amalia had her father's approval, which implies she didn't actually do anything wrong.
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And again, their adventures kept them away from several months up to a year, but not much longer. In fact, the only time it was confirmed they spent a year away was during the post-season 2 manga, and that was an accident because they didn't account for time flowing differently in Emrub.
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Now, let's add the time of the OVAs. The special episodes are stated to take place 6 years after season 2, with Flopin and Élely being little kids but not babies or toddlers anymore; Yugo stuck in his childish body despite being, what, 19(?); and Amalia being old enough to marry—given she is 22 in seasons 3 and 4, that would make her roughly 20-21 years old.
Six years had gone by between the second season and the OVAs, and if we add the year away from the manga, that means that Amalia dutifully spent 5 years in her kingdom, carrying out her royal duties and most likely only leaving for a few days at a time at most in order to visit her friends for important occasions like their birthdays. Though this is speculation on my part based on the events of the manga. Days she got to spend away because she probably had her father's permission to, as he wholeheartedly approved of her friendship with the Brotherhood of the Tofu. Meaning, once again, that Amalia wasn't doing anything wrong.
Then the OVAs came, and she had to leave for Frigost, and this time indefinitely since she was to marry Count Harebourg, therefore becoming his Countess and needing to remain by his side in his realm. And, again, because that was a marriage of convenience for the sake of her kingdom, she wasn't just allowed to leave but expected to. But even when it was revealed Count Harebourg planned to either exploit Yugo and the Eliatrope Dofus or the Sadida forests to benefit Frigost and the wedding didn't come to pass, it wasn't like Amalia stayed around to sightsee either.
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As soon as they freed Joris, Atcham, and Kerubim and got some exposition on Tristepin from Rubi, realising she had the means to save her kingdom by having Pinpin help, the group split up in two and they turned back around towards the Sadida Kingdom. And all that in just a few days, a week or two at most.
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Then comes season 3, taking place a year, year and a half, after the OVAs, with Amalia now 22 and confining herself to the palace more than ever because she's watching as her father withers away each passing day and she's trying to avoid Armand and Aurora since all they seem to care about is getting her hitched and out of their hair.
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To be honest, I'm not sure how long they're supposed to have spent in Oropo's dimension and Inglorium, since it feels like only a few days, but then Armand reveals in season 4 that he had only been king for a few weeks and the timeline gets kinda wacky. Because... Amalia just returned the day prior? And she spent the whole time by their father's grave?? What, did he leave her be to the point of risking malnourishment and dehydration for several days??? It just doesn't make sense.
Anyway, confusing timeline aside, what does this tell us? Simple, it tells us that Amalia was only away from home for about 2-3 years, which isn't all that different from when our parents send us to study abroad in real life. Which, at the same time, means that out of 22 years of her life, she remained 19 in her kingdom, performing her duties. And that's even without taking into account the fact that 90% of season 4 took place in the Sadida Kingdom, or the four months between Yugo and Amalia's wedding and the events of The Great Wave, where Amalia (and Yugo) stayed in her kingdom, ruling it.
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Unlike Armand, Amalia might have been more interested in adventure than power and politics, and she might not have had the same kind of training as he did as heir apparent, but she is in now way, shape, or form incompetent or unprepared when it comes to ruling her people. Now try to tell me she was always away or that she is irresponsible. I dare you.
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discordiansamba · 2 days ago
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the taste of the tea is familiar.
min-su frowns, and stares at his cup. he knows this flavor, but he's never been to this tea shop before. he never would have thought of coming to a tea shop in the upper ring if lee hadn't invited him. he'd been worried sick about the kid recently. he kept disappearing and reappearing- moving away suddenly, without warning.
he looks up at lee. something is... different about him.
it's just the short hair. or maybe it's the way he's stopped hiding his scar. it had churned his gut the first time he saw it. he'd wondered how anyone could do that to a kid- and he'd been relieved to learn later that it was just from an accident. he wasn't so sure why he'd been convinced someone had done it to him on purpose.
(he always expected lee to hate his father.)
min-su asks if he can meet the brewer. the tea is delicious he says. lee nods and leads him to the back. he's not smiling, for once. his expression is serious. it's not like him, min-su can't help but think. it's very much like him, he also thinks.
min-su stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the old man in the kitchen. he... knows this man from somewhere, some part of him thinks, even though they've never met. the man meets his eyes, and tears flow down his cheeks.
he calls him lu ten.
min-su feels cool hands pressed up against his skull- and then slowly, groggily, lu ten wakes up. it's like being dragged out of a frozen pond after being trapped in there for a long time. for a few moments, he doesn't remember how to move his body. then his father has thrown his arms around him and the spell breaks.
"father," lu ten says, "-what are you doing here?"
here is ba sing se. the siege failed. lu ten was captured. he was taken underneath a lake, and a different man using his body had walked back out. he called himself min-su, and found work as a guard. he was a good earth kingdom man, loyal to the earth king and the dai li. he fought for his country. he'd fallen in love with a metalworker and had married him. his favorite tea shop was a place called the lotus blossom...
...his favorite tea server was a young boy named lee.
lee. agni. zuko.
"father, zuko-"
"is fine," zuko says from behind him- then makes a face and wiggles his fingers, "-ish."
the waterbender just nods her head in solemn agreement. lu ten wonders if he's supposed to know her too. he's pretty sure she did something to heal his head. he looks at his cousin- and then extends an arm to him. zuko rolls his eyes in a very un-lee-like way, but he lets him drag them into the hug.
he'll find out a bit later exactly what happened to him. he'd been brainwashed. years later, his uncle and zuko come to the city as refugees- and zuko would help his sister take it down from the inside, only to be doublecrossed by her. zuko had been brainwashed too, but his was far worse than lu ten's had been.
the war was over. the fire nation had been defeated. his father now sat on the fire lord's throne, after having it taken from him by his uncle. he no longer wished for war- only peace. and lu ten, who had lived for seven years as a good earth kingdom man, could look back and see the futility and cruelness of it all.
...agni. how was he supposed to tell his husband this?
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thinkingofausername · 2 days ago
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so basically i've fallen into the spencer reid rabbit hole and i've read his fandom wiki page and here are some things which stood out to me:
he graduated high school at 12
he fears his mother's schizophrenia will be passed onto him
he was bullied as a kid (he was tied naked to a goalpost once)
he writes letters to his institutionalized mother every single day
he has eidetic memory (he can memorize an exceeding amount of information in detail but only if acquired visually)
he can read 20 000 words per minute (the average is 200-300)
he's a technophobe and a germaphobe
he has PhDs in math, chemistry and engineering
he doesn't like to be touched by strangers
he failed his gun qualifications
he has nightmares
he was kidnapped
he can do magic tricks really well
he was tortured by a serial killer who forcibly injected him with Dilaudid which resulted in addiction; he died and had to be revived during the torture
he says he works best under intense terror
his father left him when he was young
he was shot in the leg
he suffered intense migraines and hallucinations
he considered relapsing after Prentiss faked her death
he was shot in the neck and while he was in the hospital a man tried killing him by injecting carbenicillin in his iv
he's Morgan's son's godfather
he was nearly transferred to a maximum-security Mexican prison; he was sent to Millburn Correctional Facility instead
he was beaten multiple times while in prison; he was almost killed
he was drugged and made to believe he killed a person
he stabbed himself in the leg and pinned it on an inmate so he would be put in solitary confinement for his own safety
he became violent after prison (he attempted to strangle a pregnant woman who was lying about him being the father)
he was kidnapped by a cult and beaten; he felt peace when he was about to be killed
he was held hostage
he sustained brain injury during an explosion (intracranial bleeding, hallucinations, seizures)
he joined the BAU at 22
he went to the FBI academy but he struggled with anything not book related
he has a BA in philosophy
he has expert knowledge in forensic anthropology
he has an IQ of 187
he's an expert on historical serial killers, statistics, geographic profiling, body language
he went to public school in Las Vegas
he's an avid Star Trek, Star Wars and Doctor Who fan; he likes soap operas
he drinks a lot of coffee
he can't use chopsticks
he won 2 000 in a casino but he let a hooker keep his winnings
he's killed 8 people
he's afraid of the dark; he loves Halloween; he doesn't like the beach
he can play piano really well
he's banned from multiple casinos
he has eye cataract; he can speak Korean; he hates hospitals
he wears mismatched socks
his mother called him Crash because he bumped into things
he was supposed to be bisexual but the production dropped it
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