#this was such a sweet concept and I'm in love with it

[allinduetimethefirst]

Of all the things I go back to to make a fucking chaos internet post response to its spontaneous hyperfixation hours

I'm telling you that Jonathan Sims originally was a terrified man amongst people infinitely more confident and experienced than he in a role that he could barely believe he deserved, so much so that he forced himself to put on a brave front to the point of outright rejecting any reality of the things he read having any grain of truth, and slowly but surely that rejection of the truth was whittled down or used against him until every single point of his being was covered in evidence of what scared him and it consumed him entirely.

I'm telling you that Martin Blackwood was a man who so absolutely cared for those around him to the point that he would sacrifice himself for those people no matter the consequences of doing so, and it left him entirely out of the loop of what could be happening to those that he loved and those that loved him to the point that his idea of protection became completely and utterly flipped on its head.

I'm telling you that Jonathan stumbled upon something he should never have had the chance to have, because of the foolish whims of mortals and the devious plans of a being outside of his scope, and became hopelessly trapped by a plan that gently nudged him in all of the right ways towards the ending that Jon's every move in life was tainted, and rather than believe that he could possibly rid the world of the mess he caused and live among people again with it, he decided the option that would bring it all to a complete stop would be the only way to handle it.

I'm telling you that the closest they could get to escape was a cabin in the woods and even then it was brought with them because Jonathan had been manufactured to feed off of the very thing he hates, and because of that fact the closest thing they had to an escape was cut infinitely shorter than it could have been.

I'm telling you that without the trauma that they both incurred together and everything that they had to go through, Jon and Martin would not have even been compatible with each other. Martin's crush may have been around, but Jon's opinion of Martin took the elimination of basic social norms to even lighten considerably. The only path that brought them together was the path that led them to devastation.

I'm telling you that Sasha was swept out from under their noses, causing Jon to desperately cling to the concept of keeping the rest safe. Martin didn't discover it until much later, and was left to mourn a memory he could only be sure was false. They both lost Tim in the same incident, Jon living through it happening, and Martin thought he lost Jon too. Daisy was nearly entirely doomed and Jon nearly died trying to make sure she wasn't lost forever, only for her to sacrifice herself for everyone else and be killed in front of their eyes later. Georgie and Melanie both withdrew from the group before things got too bad and left them isolated and alone for the umpteenth time. Basira left Jonathan so many times that neither could consider themselves close enough for more than bare trust. Everyone they were ever close to disappeared or died and the only things that became reliable and known and certain were the other.

I'm telling you that Jonathan brought the entire universe to the end and was pulling it over a cliff, and his love for Martin was all that stopped him from destroying it, granting him an act that would be considered selfish by the standards of the multiverse but in every other sense saved the lives of billions, and it meant that Martin had to destroy the only person that had been there through it all and shown him that love could be pure and sweet and giggly and not just the uncertain and conditional situation that his mother had left him in.

I'm telling you that they both expected to die forever in that moment, Jon and Martin, together, and that escape was impossible from the moment Jon entered the archives, and that if either of them lived, together or alone, they would continually be haunted by what had followed them, if not actively be tousling within it yet again, and that the tragedy lies in that their love was there, but it could never survive when it was created solely to die.

That is what I am telling you.

So. I just finished The Magnus Archives.

You’re telling me that Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, began his journey from such a place of uncertainty and desperation to prove himself worthy of the title, and ended as the embodiment of everything that tormented him?

You’re telling me that Martin Blackwood, who held so much love for the people around him, unintentionally paved the way for his lover’s desperate martyrdom?

You’re telling me Jon was marked for this from childhood, manipulated by forces older and greater than civilization to bring such harm upon the world that the only solution he could see was to end it?

You’re telling me there was no escape for them?

You’re telling me they could have lived happily together, but they could never have taken that path because it lies contrary to who they are?

You’re telling me Jon and Martin had everything and everyone slowly and agonizingly ripped away from them until they had nothing left but each other, until neither one could fathom surviving without the other?

You’re telling me that Martin and Jon kissed at the center of a collapsing reality, then Martin felt the life leave Jon’s body as he stabbed the only living person he loved?

You’re telling me there is a chance they are Somewhere Else, but that would mean they never escaped the Fears and never will?

You’RE TELLING ME-

[emmyrosee]

i js wanna say that i adore ur works that i praised the Lord when i saw ur haikyuu masterlist, and is it possible if we got to see dad ushijima in smth similar to this??

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8LMPVASVeN/?igsh=MTN5cTNsNXZ6eXRobQ==

i love your works sm 😭🤍 i js hope u know that

There's an intense wailing coming from your daughters room. One that has your own soul shaking from the intensity.

Wakatoshi was in charge of putting Reina down tonight, something that usually goes super smoothly for him, but something clearly isn't right. You make a beeline for her bedroom, stomach churning as her cries become more intense, and when you finally make it to the doorframe, Wakatoshi looks absolutely panicked while he bounces Reina up and down.

"What happened?" You ask quickly.

"Daddy's g-onna d-die!"

What?

"Excuse me?" You say, brow quirking at Wakatoshi while he flashes you an apologetic look. "What is going on?"

Wakatoshi sighs and continues to rock Reina in his big arms, "she noticed some of my grey hairs coming in, and when she asked about them, I told her that people get them when they’re older... and... she told me that people who get old die..."

You freeze. He winces, "I'm sorry..."

You take a shuddery breath in and make your way into the purple bedroom, gently cupping your daughter's chubby cheek in your hand. Your thumb tenderly wipes the tear tracks that cling to her cheeks, and you shush her softly, "you don't ever have to worry about that, sweet girl. Not now, not ever."

"But... But daddy's gonna leave me, 'nd you too! ‘Nd no one’s gonna love me!"

"That's not something you need to worry your pretty little head about, Reina," you assure, trying to find the best way to navigate this. The concept of death wasn't exactly something you'd assumed you needed to worry about explaining tonight. "Sometimes, when people get old, yes, they might pass away, and not be around anymore. But,” you hook a lock of hair behind her ear, “that doesn’t mean they ever stop loving you. And I promise you, with everything in my heart, you won’t have to deal with losing mommy or daddy any time soon, okay?”

“Pinky swear?” She sniffles.

“Pinky swear,” you assure, sticking out your little pinky to link with hers. “Who told you that when people get old, they die, baby?”

She whimpers and wipes her eyes with her hand, “a boy in my class. He said his g’ma died ‘nd she was old.”

You shake your head and look at Wakatoshi, “you go to bed. I’ll stay up with her for a while.”

“No,” he says softly but firmly. “I want to be here too. I think it’s important for us both to be here right now.”

You smile softly at him and nod, nudging your head towards your daughter’s small bed, “go sit. I’ll get her a bedtime story.” He nods back at you and makes his way to the small bed, and as you crouch to sort through the assortment of books on her shelf, you smile as you hear him whispering apologies to Reina, followed by her little sniffles in acknowledgment.

Not the smoothest night ever, you’d be lying if you said it was a hassle to be with your family.

Even like this.

[maddiebrj]

Guilt Weighs Upon Your Shoulders

COZETTE RAMBLINGS UNDER THE CUT:

I have not been able to get Cozette out of my head for well over a month now. I haven't hyper fixated this much on character in a good while. Cozette is just....so interesting to me for some reason.

I've always liked her as I found her bond with Connie to be really sweet, and she felt like this wise and caring woman. And yes, while I do understand that the twist of her being Zokket is predictable( I speculated to myself that she might have something to do with him), the thing I like about it isn't because of how surprising the reveal was, but rather the layer of depth that it adds to Cozette's character that I wasn't really expecting. And it's depth that I really wish got expended upon in the game. At first, I didn't think too much of it; we now know where Cozette was all this time. But then I saw how she acted after we freed her from Reclusa's control...and then after that, I started to think about her for more than 5 minutes and realized just how sad, confusing, and messed up Cozette's situation actually is.

I..I so wish we got to learn more about Cozette throughout the game because no matter how underutilized she is, I just can't help but feel bad for her. She got corrupted in organizing the destruction of the world she loves and is supposed to protect. Separating friends and families, kidnapping people and forcing them to work in factories, spreading glolm and further separating others. All to aid the rebirth of being that wants to destroy all worlds. And she just has to live with all of that. That definitely did something to her mentally.

I can't help but think of all that. And on top of all THAT, I just feel like this was a misoppurtunity for some good and interesting character interactions. I want to know what all the Concordians think of her besides Connie and Patriarc ( who is another character that I wish got explored more), I want to know how she views the Zok troops and those memos she wrote while in the Zokket persona, I WANT HER TO INTERACT WITH EXTENSION CORPS AT LEAST ONCE.

I want to know... what exactly made Cozette fall to Reclusa's grasp in the first place. Connie asks a good question to the Great Conductor: If Cozette really was controlled by someone else, why is she taking this so personally? And while I bet it has to do with what I listed earlier, the Great Conductor mentions that it has to do with her being taken advantage of a weakness she has and I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh okay, interesting...care to elaborate on that????." From there I tried to find something, ANYTHING on what that weakness might be and just...nothing. Those Grampy turnips that give some lore tidbits on some of the major characters? They say nothing about her. Her one sidequest involves her making a decision that you can't stop her from making and comes to regret. To this day, I am still trying to figure out what that weakness is. I do have some theories.

Overall, I have this feeling that Cozette isn't entirely happy and that her story in this game isn't complete. It feels like the writers introduced this interesting concept but weren't able to expand fully on it. I can only assume they didn't as they realized how complicated of a situation it is, and it would probably draw too much attention away from the main threat, which is Reclusa. Which, do not get it twisted, Reclusa. Is. AWESOME. But I am left with a bunch of questions.

Tldr: Cozette is very interesting. I wish her character got explored a lot more.

(Oh boy, sorry, this was so long. I wanted to talk about Cozette for a while. Please don't take this as me hating on the game. I just care so much about Cozette :))

[hxlxnaaa]

hiiiii, i love your fics soososososo much

im a uni student for art and i was wondering if you could make a fic for rafayel comforting reader on art block ? i think he would be really sweeet about it.

thank u :3

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when faced with the frustrations regarding a lack of creativity and ideas, rafayel is quick to help you come up with a solution, and without realizing, becomes the solution himself.

★ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: rafayel

★ 𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: first person pov, rafayel being proud of his gf, just really sweet, references to his anecdote 'addictive pain' (just mc taking a few art classes)

★ 𝐰𝐜: 1.5k

★ 𝐚/𝐧: i'm so sorry this took so long!! this is such a cute concept and tysm for the request, rafayel would fs be so sweet n nice ab his cutie struggling w art block. i hope you like it :,)

Frustration was creeping up through my throat, strangling the air out of me. Art was supposed to be my escape, but I had hit a literal wall. With balancing work and a social life, I had hardly found time to dedicate to my first love, and now it seemed as if all creativity had left my mind in an instant.

Tossing the sketchbook across the room that only held scribbles and scratches, I puffed out my cheeks, pressing my fists into the couch.

‘You’re better than this,’ I thought, ‘art is your passion.’

I picked up my phone, dialing Rafayel's number. It would be helpful to take a break, as I had been sitting around for hours crumpling up paper after paper, not a fruitful idea in sight. While I of course admired him as a person, I also looked up to him as an artist, even if I was often too shy to show my own talents to him.

“Hey cutie,” Rafayel's sweet voice came over the line, “whats up?”

“What’re you doing?” I hoped he wasn’t busy, cause I was about 30 seconds away from intruding into his house.

“Just working on this painting Thomas is on me about, why? Thinking about me?”

“Do you care if I come over?”

“That’s a silly question, I’ll see you when you get here.”

Click.

I rolled my eyes, ‘Yeah. Thanks.’

-

Sprawled out on his couch, I watched Rafayel drag his paintbrush across the canvas with little effort. I was jealous of how natural it all came to him, reminiscing on a time I was able to convey everything I pleased with that much grace, able to create anything with ease. Now my talent just sat in a corner, covered in dust, and I wasn’t even sure how to use it anymore.

“Raf.” I sat up, throwing one of the brushes lying around at his back.

He hummed a response, not bothering to turn around to look at me.

“When you run out of ideas, get art block per say, what do you do?”

“Sit in the bathtub, you know this.” Rafayel nodded his head towards the empty tub lying in the center of the room. “Yeah, but,” I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, “what about it brings you ideas?”

He shrugs, placing a kiss on my forearm draped loosely around him, “The water always brings me ideas. It’s easier coming up with things in a place where you’re comfortable.” Rafayel pays me a grin, “That’s why I come up with my best works when you’re around.”

“If you had to give advice to someone struggling with a lack of creativity, where would you tell them to start?” I stared longingly at the painting he was working on, craving the urge I once knew, the urge to create.

“Is that someone you?”

I flick his head, “If it was, would the advice change?”

He thinks for a moment, “If it were anyone else, I’d tell them to get a book of art prompts or something.” Rafayel cranes his head back to look at me, “You? I’d tell you to paint something you love.”

“Something I love?”

“Yeah, like food or a wanderer, I dunno. Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”

Something I love.

-

I sat surrounded by old sketches and paintings I had made and kept throughout the years, and thought about what Rafayel said.

“Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”

There were connections between all the pieces, and that connection was that they were of all the things I loved at some point or another. My favorite flower, the stray cat I had rescued growing up, Gran and Caleb, cherry blossoms when they first bloom; things that brought me joy and warmed my heart.

‘Okay,’ I thought to myself, tracing my fingers over all the papers, ‘easy enough. Just draw something I love.’

The sketchbook in front of me sat blank, just like my mind.

Something I love, something I love, something I love…

It started with a jawline, a mess of hair, wild eyes; then the sketch turned into an idea, and I was grabbing my watercolor paper and paint.

Heather purple hair, kaleidoscope eyes, fair skin adorned with carefully placed freckles and moles as if an angel had kissed him themself. His smile, I needed to capture his smile. His rosy cheeks.

I finished the painting, and grabbed another paper. His home, I needed to paint his home. The canvases that littered his space, the bathtub, the statues and vases, the tall windows that showed the sea outside.

Another paper, another paper, another paper.

The brush glided across the page as if unstoppable, using the same precision I used to fight wanderers, the trained eye, fast reflexes and grace. His hands, him painting, his laugh, everything I had memorized about him over time turned into the art that I had been waiting to spill from my mind.

Something I love.

Rafayel.

-

“Did you ever find that creative spark you were looking for?”

I turned around from cooking to look at Rafayel, who was standing at the island of my kitchen watching me work. His pretty purple hair was messed up from me earlier picking paint out of it, and his shirt loosely unbuttoned at the collar. With asking the question, his eyes glittered mischievously.

Rafayel himself was not the painter, he was the art.

“Yeah, I suppose I did.” I shrugged, going back to fixing dinner.

“I didn’t know you liked to do art,” He maneuvered his way next to me, poking my side, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Liked? No, art was something I adored. It was my security, an outlet. Even when everything was going wrong, my life in shambles, I always had the ability and opportunity to create. It was stability, it was love, my life and passion. I just needed to find it again.

I poked Rafayel back, “It was never something I thought I needed to share with you, plus I had gotten away from it for a while. Lost my spark.”

“Now I want to see!” Rafayel groaned, pouting, “Are you any good?”

“I took a few classes in university for fun, but not nearly as good as you.”

He went still for a second, “Art is subjective...So please show me?”

“Go into my room and my recent stuff should be in the folder sitting on my desk,” I pointed my spoon in his face, “but no messing around in there, you look at the folder and get out.”

“Yes ma’am.”

With that he descended down the hallway, and I heard the soft creak of my door opening. For a few minutes, the only sound in the apartment was the quiet sizzle of the food in the pan.

Then, it was too quiet for too long.

“Rafayel, you better not be in there snooping!” I shouted, only to get no response. A few more seconds passed by before I called out to him again, “Raf?”

“Why are you a hunter?”

I jumped, startled by his sudden appearance behind me. He was clutching the pieces I had done of him, looking down at them and back at me with awe and adoration. His fingers danced gently over the paper, analyzing every detail.

“What do you mean?” I frowned, his question catching me off guard.

“These are…I don’t even have words. They’re amazing.” Rafayel continued to stare at the watercolor paintings in his hands, flipping through them carefully.

A soft laugh left my lips, “You just like them cause they’re of you.” The compliment didn’t fall on deaf ears however, and my cheeks turned pink with his praise. For one of the greatest painters in our era to think my work is ‘amazing’? Yeah, that felt nice.

Rafayel smirked, “Well, yes. I think that adds to it.” He laid out all of the papers across the island, “I just don’t understand why you didn’t pursue this, why only take a few classes in university instead of doing it full time. You have a real talent…”

“That's a big compliment coming from the Rafayel.”

“You could do as well as me if you put this out there.” He waved one of the pieces in my face, before quickly pulling away, “No, actually, I want all of these. I’m going to hang them up when I get home.”

“You gonna pay for them?” I crossed my arms, trying to act tough. Grinning, Rafayel wrapped an arm around my shoulder and waved his hand around as if gesturing for me to see the world, “See? You’ve already got that art business mindset down, I can see the vision for your future from here.”

He looked down at me with a sweet, sincere glint in his eyes, “But really, I’m glad you found that creativity you were looking for. I would hate for you to abandon something like this.”

“It was your help,” I put my head on his chest, “you told me to draw something I love.”

Rafayel pinched my cheek, “Well I’ll always be willing to be your muse, cutie.”

(divider by cafekitsune)

[tanthenotquiteman]

ooh thanks for tagging!

last song: A Love Like War - All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes

favourite colour: black? ig? closely followed by very blue-y purple ofc

last book: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

last movie: Inside Out bc my psych teacher said it's good for revision

last tv show: Making a Murderer bc my psych teacher also recommended it

sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury?

last thing I searched: 'vue cribbs' (if this makes sense to anyone, hi Bristol/near-Bristol dweller)

current obsession: not really sure I have one honestly. tbf I think the concept of me learning bass/stuff to do with music in general has got its grippers on my mind atm lol

looking forward to: hmmmmmmmm... ig my EPQ being over lmao? ooh actually, I'm more looking forward to being able to afford a bass + amp n all that, but that's probably gonna happen after I've finished the draft for my EPQ

tagging: @izinof @phantasticphizza @yaoifuldnp @sleepyslag and anyone else who feels like doing this :)

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[russellsppttemplates]

We learn to hold its hand (Charles Leclerc)

Two hearts that lost themselves in pain.

Two hearts that found eachother in love.

Note: english is not my first language. It's been some time since I posted one of these, hopefully I still know how to do it 🥲 A lot of changes have been going on at my job and I've been trying to adjust to all of it without loosing my sanity and writinb has been a good escape! I know this is a heavy topic, so proceed carefully, but I was feeling like writing this so here it goes... For those who are here and have stayed, thank you for being so patient and for staying - I hope this is good enough ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not taking requests right now, so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to send them in but know that I don't know when I'll be able to get to them!

my masterlist

Cw: cancer, death of close relatives (reader's and Charles' father), grief, hospital procedures

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3 @sltwins

"Bonjour papa", Charles greeted, running his hand over the photograph that was on the grave, "I just got back from the track where we did the testing for Sauber, the last one before the season starts. It's hard, but I'm not afraid", he gulped, "Because you taught me that, even if I'm afraid, I have to go with fear. To move forward, because that's the only way. In racing, I can do that, but I won't be able to continue my life without you because I won't be able to. I try. Every day, I try. For maman, especially, since she tries to be strong for me, Lorenzo and Arthur, and somewhere along the way, we gathered the strength we didn’t know we had, but when we realize it, there it is, supporting us. I'm sure it's you. Every day, I remember that afternoon when you taught me how to ride a bike. Your insistence on removing the training wheels from the big wheel that ended up with a wound on my knee and that made me scream a few times. I remember you telling me that there were worse things than that simple scratch. I never thought that one day we would have to face them and that they would be the main reason why you are no longer by my side", Charles wiped away the tears, while he couldn't help but smile at the beautiful memories that came back to him, "But more than that, I remember the day you put a kart in front of me for the first time. There, I knew it was love for life. Yes, like Francis Cabrel's song. Or that afternoon when I stepped onto the concrete of the best race circuit in the world. There, I knew that I would begin a story in which, even though I was the main character, I would never have been able to write all the chapters that have been completed so far without the help of your pen. That support, that dedication, that encouragement, that love, father. Without them, I would never be the Charles that I am today. There was so much left to say and so much to do. But I am grateful for everything we said and for everything we did. I remember you telling me that you could no longer be strong and you asked me to be. I miss you so much. I miss you so much that I cannot express in words. I just want to thank you for continuing to light my path and for being the best father in the world. You are not by my side, but you are on my side. I feel that, every day. Thank you for continuing to support me in every race and in every challenge that life throws at me. Thank you for being so present, even though you're so far away. I miss you every day. And I feel you with me every day. Je t'aime, papa", he says goodbye, standing up and shaking off the little dirt on his jeans.

He picks up his backpack and starts walking towards the cemetery exit, but a sweet, melodious voice makes him stop walking. Charles looks in its direction, observing a female figure who, sitting next to someone's grave, was quickly but skillfully strumming the acoustic guitar and, at the same time, singing the song he had included in today's conversation with his father. Je l'aime à mourir by Francis Cabrel. Charles smiles at such coincidence and turned his back, picking up his pace, but soon stopping again, feeling a great need to go and meet that girl whose voice conveyed the pain he knew so well - loss.

Charles swallowed hard and instead of walking away, he found himself getting closer and closer to the young woman who, judging by your physical features, was probably around his age.

He waited for you to finish the song to make myself present, since you hadn’t noticed him yet.

“I miss you every day, Lucas. I wish you were here. It would make everything so much easier", he heard you say, through tears, and he felt the impact of all her words. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t feel the same way.

Charles looks at the person you were visiting and his eyes almost popped out of his head when he notices the photo of a boy who couldn’t have been more than eight years old in that portrait. The date of death was twelve years ago.

"Who are you?", you ask.

Charles quickly woke up from his thoughts, focusing his gaze on you, now curiously appreciating him. The colour of your eyes, the way your hair fell down your back and your bare skin faacinaged him.

"Forgive me", he requested, a little embarrassed, "I heard you sing and I couldn't help but come here and tell you that you sing very well and that the person you dedicated the song to probably agrees with me", he replied and your shy laugh made him laugh too.

"Thank you", you offered, quite embarrassed, which was still funny, "He's my twin brother. He was eight years old when he left", you pointed to the portrait you had looked at moments before.

"My father. He passed away a couple of months ago", Charles decided to share the reason why he was also there.

"My brother had a rare blood disease, a cancer doctors were never able to identify. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy were not enough to cure him. In fact, the body of an eight-year-old boy could only handle so much at that time. I was the same age, but I will never forget my brother’s suffering and the strength he had until the end. My childhood innocence was taken from me that day. I am not an example to anyone. The true example of life left more than a decade ago, on a journey that still had a long way to go had it not ended the way it did", you said as you packed your things, letting your anger speak.

Charles noticed the crack in your voice and a few seconds later, he heard your sniffle.

The first instict he had was that he wanted to hug you in that moment and reassure you with just his arms, since words would never be enough comfort at a time like that. And at the same time, he felt that you needed to talk to someone who, being unknown and impartial, would never judge you for the anger you were experiencing.

"My father battled cancer for a few years but, unfortunately, he ended up losing the fight in July. However, the real winner is him. For so many reasons: for the way he faced the reality that was knocking on his door, for how he forced us to face it in the most positive way possible, so that it would become a little easier, and for the way he prepared us for his departure. He is a true hero. If, one day, I can be half the man and father that he was and is, you can be sure that I will leave this life happy", Charles spoke.

"They truly are the heroes who left early to prove that angels really exist", you said, looking at Charles intently in a way made him feel like an open book in front of the most beautiful reader he had ever seen in his life.

"I couldn’t agree more", Charles murmured, too caught up in the gaze of that twenty-year-old girl who was so much more like him than he had thought.

"Y/N", you held out your hand and he smiled at your introduction.

"Charles", he reciprocated, fitting his hand in yours, which you immediately shook.

And there, he knew that you were marked by the wound that would never heal and by the feeling that would never disappear: pain.

There, those two hearts that were lost in pain would be the same ones that would find each other in love.

.

Charles got up from the floor, after the usual daily conversation he shared with his father after training. He noticed you in the same position you had been in before, but this time, you were reciting poems from a small book you had in your hand, completely distracted from your surroundings.

It was the first time in almost three weeks that he had seen you again. You had stopped showing up at the same time as he did and for a moment he thought you were avoiding him. But he soon put those thoughts aside. After all, if you didn’t even know each other that well, what was the need?

“Y/N", Charles said as he approached you, alerting you of his presence.

You looked at him with a shy smile and immediately stood up as well, "I haven’t seen you around here since", he added and you laughed softly.

"In the last three weeks, I came in the morning, because of the internship I'm doing. I had to change schedules with a colleague and I couldn't come in the afternoon. Now everything is back to normal, so here I am", you explained and he nodded in understanding, "You never miss your schedule", you pointed out it was his turn to laugh.

"This is the best time for me to come because this way, I can spend more time with my father before the cemetery closes", Charles explains and you nod, "Hmm, I really like talking to you but, is it just me who thinks we're not in the best place?".

Your beautiful laugh makes him laugh too, "Without shadow of a doubt", you agreed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I bet you're hungry", Charles assuredly and you laughed again.

"Very", you dmitted, blushing, which made him smile at your embarrassment, "the line at the bakery in front of where I work was too long and, I'm sorry, but patience has never been my strong point", you defended yourself and he giggled.

"So it's better to go without food...?", Charles quirked an eyebrow as he asked, surprised and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"I wouldn't go without food, obviously. I was just going to have to snack something later", you shrugged.

Once you stood outside the cemetery, you looked at each other intensely, not knowing what to say, "Would you accept an invitation for a snack?", Charles gathered the courage to ask and it was your turn to laugh at his shyness.

"Yes", your positive answer made him smile.

"Do you have a car?", he asked and you said no.

"Not yet. It’s at the mechanic’s", you made a face of disgust and Charles laughed, "the good news is that my father can pick it up at the end of this week. You have no idea how much I need it for my internship", you complained and Charles smiled at you relaxed way.

"Then you’re coming with me", he invited and you thanked him.

Charles lead you to his car and you smiled in gratitude when he opened the door for you so you could get in.

"And, if you’ll allow me, can I know what you study, Y/N?", Charles asked curiously, when you were already in line at the caffè, the place being chosen by the young woman during your journey, which had been made in a silence that Charles wouldn’t consider awkward but also not very comfortable. The awkwardness was still there.

"Radiology and radiotherapy", you replied, letting out a smile, "Twelve years ago, for a few months, I followed my brother's fight and was inspired by the humanity of those doctors and the team responsible for his case. The way he was treated, the constant encouragement in his recovery, the words and friendly shoulder they gave my parents, and even me, the way they prepared us for the worst and the way they accompanied us in our mourning, was truly human and truly inspiring. And there, I decided that this was something I would like to do in the future. I want to help others like they helped me more than a decade ago", you said proudly, earning a big smile from Charles.

You were interrupted when it was your turn to make the requests and respective payment. Charles insisted on paying the entire bill and you gave in, after much insistence from his behalf.

"Next time, you'll pay", Charles promised, as you walked aimlessly through the streets of Monaco.

"Will there be a next one?", you asked, laughing and Charles couldn’t help but look away from your shy eyes, "It’s a promise, then", you added and Charles looked at you again, already looking at him with a smile.

You ended up sitting on the lawn of a garden, finally digging into your food.

"And you? Can I know what you study?", you asked, equally curious and Charles laughed, still feeling a little satisfied that you didn’t know him as a Formula One rookie.

"I’m a race driver", he told you and you looked at him in surprise.

"What category? And which team?", you asked with interest and he smiled.

"The best in the world and the biggest one in racing", he replied, not wanting to say the team's name directly, because that way he would be able to know which one she supported.

"Do you race for Ferrari?", you asked and Charles smiled broadly, happy with what he had heard.

"I was in their academy last year", Charles confirmed and you smiled.

"How come I've never seen you there?", your curiosity and interest were something that satisfied him. After all, he wasn't the only one who wanted to know more.

"I was in Formula Two with Prema", he explained and her "makes sense", spoken in English, made him laugh.

"But tell me something. Are you regular at races?", Charles asked and you nodded.

"You could say that", you both laughed, "My father and grandfather were always

big racing fans. In fact, they are. And they passed that love on to Lucas", you smiled and looked down at the ground, "The few times he wasn't in the hospital, he was at the track. What he felt for racing was something I had never seen before. It was contagious. Everyone infected Lucas and he infected me. After his death, I promised myself to accompany my father and grandfather, and even go there alone, to every race that was done there. It was, and is, a way of feeling Lucas with me. That’s why I love racing so much", you looked at him with teary eyes, letting the tears fall when Charles brought his thumb to your face, caressing it.

"I’m sorry", you murmured and he quickly denied it, so that you would know that everything was okay.

"You’re inspiring, Y/N. I hope you know that", Charles offered.

You shook your head, smiling, "No, I don't think so. I’m just an eight-year-old child, in the body of a twenty-year-old girl who cries every night, wishing her brother was by her side", you spoke, with some difficulty, and Charles swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to comfort you.

"No, Y/N. You are a young 20-year-old woman who lost her brother at the age of eight and who, even today, is learning to deal with his absence", Charles said and you quickly wiped away the tears that were falling from your eyes, unable to help but sigh heavily.

"So, tell me, how does it feel to wear red? I clearly have been focusing in specific catehorues", you asked with a smile and Charles smiles at your change of subject.

"Incredible. It is a dream come true. I have no words to thank the trust that my team put in me, and how stepping into F1, even if it's not Ferrari, is a huge sense of responsibility, after all, you’re representing one of the best teams in the sport, the best in the world for me", Charles proudly answered your question, not avoiding remembering the day he signed his first professional contract with the unspoken promise and hope of a place in the Scuderia.

"How many years has it been?", you asked.

"I've been with the best the world for a few years", you both smiled.

“We could go watch the historic race this Saturday on the track just outside the city", you invited Charles and he smiled at you initiative, not hesitating to nod.

“I was already thinking of going, but now I’m really going to", Charles answered and you blushed.

"Can you give me your phone number so we can arrange things better?", Charles asked, feeling brave enough to do so, and you nodded.

You exchanged contact details and chatted a little longer until you were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. Charles waited for the call to end and returned the smile you gave him.

"Typical motherly concern", you explained, and Charles laughed, nodding along

"I know how it feels", he commented and it was your turn to smile

"Since my brother passed away, my mother, who was already overprotective, has become even more so. I don’t blame her for that, quite the opposite. I have learned to deal with it and I don’t make her life harder, I have a very open relationship with my mother. My first academic choice was not Monaco, but in Montpellier", you said as Charles made such curiosity known and looked at you, "But the truth is that I couldn’t even finish the first semester in the city because I couldn’t stand being alone. It was as if the pain multiplied by mixing with the loneliness that I felt. We were so close that I couldn’t separate the pain of having to leave for one of my dreams. I wasn’t prepared for the nights when nightmares haunted me and the absence of my brother was felt more than ever. So, I asked my parents to come and get me and I moved back to Monaco, where it didn't get easier but it wasn’t as difficult as being alone. Since my brother left, we’ve gotten even closer. But the first few days were the hardest. My mother became depressed, my father closed himself off a bit more and, at the age of twelve, I let myself be suffocated by the feelings I had no one to talk to, until my father learned to deal with the pain and helped us do the same. Someone needed to get back on their feet and help others get back on their feet too, and my father was my hero. We sought out the best psychologists for my mother and her progress was very positive, but in truth, what she was doing, and rightly so, was mourning the loss of the most real, pure and true love in the world. She was mourning the death of her son. And she did it in the only way she knew how. Today, we continue to do it, but we do it differently. And if people now talk and watch us go about our day to day lives, it's not because it no longer hurts - because it hurts a lot - it's because we've learned to embrace pain and deal with it. We hold its hand. I think the learning process is lifelong. And I'm going to die, still learning how to deal with it", you said, and the impact of your words prompt Charles to shed a tear, which was joined by all the others, for all the memories that hit him.

"I miss him so much", Charles whispered, avoiding your gaze.

Just out of the corner of his eye, Charles could see you get closer to him, smiling faintly when you pulled him into a hug he didn't hesitate in joining.

You fit perfectly on his chest, head nestled there as he hugged you by your waist, enveloping you and kissing the top of your head without a hitch.

And in that first touch of many, you got to know eachother through the way you both knew so well - pain. And right there, without knowing, you started another one - love.

.

Charles was coming home after another training session, the last one before the charity race he was participating in which would take place the next day at ten in the morning. Today was also the historic race day, the race he would watch with you, after meeting up every day that week at your usual spot - although it wasn’t the happiest, you always ended up going to different places in the capital city, where you took the opportunity to get to know each other better.

"Charles", he heard his mother call out and smiled, going to meet the woman who was preparing dinner.

"Hi, maman”, he kissed her hair and bent down a little so she could kiss his cheek, “I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you", he looked at her with a guilty expression, "I'm not going to have dinner at home", he continued, enjoying the meat she was cooking that smelled very good.

"It's all right", Pascale smiled, "you're going to watch the historic race with Joris and Riccardo, aren't you?", she asked, as they were usually his company.

"Well, about that..", Charles mumbled, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture of confusion that didn't go unnoticed by the oldest in the room.

"Charles Marc Hervé Perceval! What aren't you telling me?", his mother asked, genuinely curious, and he laughed out loud when she turned off the stove and crossed her arms, waiting for him to start talking.

"I'm going with a girl", he started and saw her smile grow at the information he had given her, "her name is Y/N. She is twenty years old and is a final-year student in the radiology and radiotherapy course. Unfortunately, we did not meet under happy circumstances, but the time we have spent together has allowed us to create and experience moments that go beyond that", he explained, avoiding his mother’s gaze to hide his slight embarrassment.

"Where did you meet?", Pascale wanted to know.

"At the cemetery. It was during one of the visits I paid to papa, three weeks ago. She lost her twin brother to a rare blood disease that doctors were never able to identify. Y/N was eight years old when he passed away. I have never related with anyone as much as I did with her. She understands me. In fact, we understand each other. She is simply beautiful in every way", Charles shrugged, not avoiding a smile as he remembered you.

"Charles, is it just me or are you in love?", his mother asked with a smile as she hugged him, fitting into his arms.

"It’s not possible, maman. Only this week that we’ve gotten closer", he replied, not avoiding a nervous laugh.

Pascale laughed, "and since when did that stop you from feeling something for that young woman? Charles, amour, it’s not the time of things but the intensity with which we experience them", she wisely advised and Charles nodded, smiling weakly.

"Thank you for everything, maman. Je t'aime", he whispered against her hair, leaving a kiss there.

"Never forget that you, as well as your brothers, are my pride and the light of my eyes. Je t'aime, Charles", Pascale spoke.

Charles held his mothee on his arms, wanting her to be aware of the infinite gratitude he felt for her.

Pascale pulled away, wiping her tears, and smiled at Charles, "Come on, I don’t want you like this!", Charles asked and she laughed, waving.

"I’m fine", his mother assured, "Now go take a shower and get ready so you don’t keep the girl waiting. I’ll make you a bowl of cereal, so you can eat something before you go", she warned and smiled, getting a kiss on her forehead.

"You’re the best!!", Charles exclaimed, leaving the room, and she laughed.

"I know!", she said, laughing, and Charles laughed at her expression.

Once he got to his bedroom, Charles chose a presentable outfit, wanting to dress appropriately and blend in with all of the fans and enjoy the race that was probably one of the last moments before everything flooded in. The PR team had already warned him that once he was in Formula One, everything changed and he hoped he could have this evening.

He ran to the bathroom, took a quick and relaxing shower, and got dressed without rushing, making sure he looked his best. After that, he went back to the kitchen, where his mother was still, finishing the preparations for dinner.

“Since I didn’t have any company for the meal, I invited your cousins”, she said.

Charles gave her a guilty smile, "I'm really sorry, maman", he spoke sincerely, and it was her turn to laugh, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, Charles, I was just kidding. I want you to go and enjoy Y/N's company. I haven't even met her yet and I already like her", she commented.

"Oh really? Why is that?", Charles wondered, really interested.

"Why? Because every time you talk about her, it's impossible for you not to smile. And I like that", she admitted and he blushed, hearing his mother giggle at his shyness.

"Maman!", he mumbled and the older woman laughed.

"What's wrong?", she asked, pretending not to notice as her son rolled his eyes, laughing.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything, I should've stayed quiet", Charles complained and she laughed out loud.

"As if I wouldn't eventually find out, Charles", she winked, convinced, and Charles laughed at the joviality that characterized his mother, even after everything that life had put her through.

They were closer than ever and he felt very comfortable sharing any kind of subject with her, she was his best friend and the best thing in his world.

"I really have to go", Charles announced, looking at his watch, making sure he wouldn’t be late.

"Do you have everything with you, amour?”, she asked and he looked at her confused.

“Yes, why?”, Charles answered with another question, while he set the bowl of cereal in the sink.

"Are you sure?", she insisted and he snorted, patting his pockets and checking that nothing was missing.

"I have everything", he replied, kissing her forehead as a way of saying goodbye, "I'll see you later. Je t'aime!", he shouted from the living room and heard her laugh.

"Do you have the condoms with you?", Pascale asked, giggling, and Charles almost choked on his own saliva.

He couldn't believe it.

"Seriously, maman?", he made himself heard out loud.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Charles? I too was a young woman your age once. And I'm too young to be a grandmother!", she said, coming to meet him at the door, and she couldn't help but laugh when she saw his embarrassment.

"I'm leaving!", Charles exclaimed, leaving a last kiss on her cheek and walking all the way to the car while laughing, knowing his mother never missed the opportunity and had a great ability to embarrass her own son.

Charles got in the car and drove off towards your house which, even after a week, continued to leave him astonished by the external beauty that set it apart from the others in the same neighborhood. He sent you a quick text letting you know that he was already waiting for you and, about three minutes later, he heard a door slam, looking in the direction of the noise and not helping but smile when he saw how you were dressed appropriately for the race.

"Wow, yes, we have a racing fan", he complimented and the brunette giggle.

You were dressed in a vintage jacket, an allusive cap with the peak turned backwards and the rest of the outfit complimented it.

The rest of the journey to the track was transformed into a karaoke session, "tell me if we don't make an unbeatable singing duo", you joked as you walked towards the interior of the building where you would be sitting.

"Like society hasn't seen in many years", Charles joined in your joke and you laughed

Charles put his right hand on your shoulder, hugging you and guided you through the crowd so that you wouldn’t lose each other. He heard his name being called and two kids running towards him, making you stop walking. He greetd them with a smile and they ask for a photo that would be the responsibility of the woman who was waiting for them to position themselves, "your girlfriend can also join the portrait", the oldest women pointed to you, and you couldn't help but blush, making Charles smile sideways when he noticed such a thing.

"We're not-", Charles didn't let you finish.

"Come here, Y/N", he asked and the lady waved, heading towards you.

After the photos were taken, the kids thanked Charles, immediately disappearing from our sight, "Do you want to see something around here or would you rather go inside now?", Charles chatted up while you tried to show yourself less embarrassed.

He couldn't help but admit that he was enjoying seeing you like that and, more than that, knowing that he was the one that made you feel that way.

"We can go inside, since race time is very close", you preferred and Charles nodded, placing his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the entrance.

You greeted the various security guards who were there and headed to the place that your tickets indicated. Because Charles belonged in a professional driving championship, he was entitled to the VIP stands.

"Wow", you exclaimed, truly enchanted by the view you had of the track, which was undergoing the final touches before opening its doors to the public.

"Have you never been here before?", Charles asked and saw you deny it, while remaining astonished, appreciating the atmosphere around you.

"Only for a visit when Lucas was with us, never when there was an actual race happening. This is going to be great", you finally looked at him, offering him a smile, "thank you, Charles", you spoke and he acknowledged the sincerity of your words, smiling at you broadly.

“You’re welcome", he downplayed the situation, just hoping you would feel good, "I don’t know if you drink, but would you like a beer? Or perhaps some wine?", he asked and you laughed.

“I don’t usually drink, but today I can make an exception", you accepted and Charles smiled.

“Are you sure? You have every right to say no" he made it clear and you laughed, denying it.

“Seriously, Charles, we can go", you insisted and he waved, giving you space so you could go ahead of him.

The crowd there was huge, but that didn't stop you from drinking and snacking before the race started.

"The teams are getting ready", Charles said as you finished our drinks and you waved, standing up and opening your wallet to take out the money.

"Hey you! What are you doing?", Charles quickly intervened, placing his hand on yours to stop your movements.

"Charles, what did you promise? 'You'll pay next time', that's what you said", you imitated his tone of voice and you burst out laughing.

"Can't you wait until next time?", he insisted and you gave him a death glare, making Charles realise there wasn't much he could do.

"Okay then", he gave in and you giggled smugly.

You went back to your seats after you paid, watching everyone get ready for the race.

"Do you have a favourite driver?", Charles wondered.

"I don't think so. Each one has something to offer to the races, and it's not like many of them are here", you spoke before seeing Lewis Hamilton approach one of the cars.

A song came on and you pulled Charles to dance with you, singing in his ear as he smiled, tightening his grip on your waist. "Now comes the part that no one knows how to sing", you added, moving away from Charles a little and he could notice your shyness, most likely because of the action you had done before.

You danced awkwardly, which earned you a couple of looks, and stopped when the announcer of the track, already full, made himself heard, announcing the race was about to start.

"I love this part", you smiled, getting a kiss from Charles on the hair that was not covered by your cap.

The race started out well and everything seemed to be going as they hoped, the announcer mentioning some facts they had about the historic race.

"THAT'S AN OVERTAKE!", you shouted and the entire section stood up, celebrating yet another great move from Lewis.

You screamed euphorically, pulling Charles into a quick hug, before joining in the celebrations with the rest of the fans.

This girl was out of this world, Charles thought.

"I've never seen a girl like you", he said, automatically enchanted by you.

"That's because I'm an exclusive edition", you joked and you both laughed, "Is that good?", you asked seriously.

Charles returned your gaze, nodding, "Very. You're different from everyone I've ever met", he admitted and you smiled, looking away from him.

"Good. That way, I don't have to worry about them", you shrugged.

Charles smiled, satisfied with the answer you had given him, "Come here" he asked in an act of courage, hugging you while you rested your head on his chest and focusing your attention on the race.

When the race ended for a break until the next one, you took the opportunity to go to the bathroom, while Charles chose to do the same.

Since he was quicker than you, given that the line was shorter, he waited for you outside, where there was a line of young people who were looking at him curiously.

"Finally", Charles muttered to himself as he watched you leave the compartment.

"What happened? Were you feeling watched over?", you made fun and he stuck his tongue out at you, pulling you closer to him. "Watched over?! It seemed like the girls were undressing me with their eyes", he accused.

"That was most likely exactly what was happening", you confirmed and he looked at you in shock, which made you laugh again, "What?! You can't judge them!", you argued.

Charles laughed, honestly pleased with what he had heard, "Oh really? Have you also undressed me with your eyes?", he whispered in youe ear.

"No, I prefer to do it with my hands", you murmured against his mouth and walked ahead of him, leaving him perplexed.

Well, take that, Charles, his subconscious spoke and he chuckled - the ability you had to leave him speechless was unbelievable. Noticing the faces you were making, he decided to return to your seats, where you were already dividing your attention between your cell phone and the track.

"What are you watching?", Charles asked, moving closer to you to observe what you were watching, spending some time watching the silliness and fun on her screen.

"The game is going to start again", Charles said as you quickly turned off the electronic device and hugged his waist, while you paid attention.

"What is he doing to Lewis?", Charles complained.

"Do not play around with him!", you joined.

"Maybe there's a favourite after all?", Charles teased you.

"Maybe, he is very skilled and handsome", you shrugged.

"Oh, good", Charles murmured, feeling a pang of jealousy at the way you had spoken about the driver.

Your laugh made him realize that you had noticed, "Charles, are you jealous?", you mocked and he rolled his eyes, avoiding looking at you.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know that word", he shrugged, trying to make you forget the subject but you didn’t give in.

Instead, you brought your hand to his face, making him look at you, "I’m here with you, aren’t I?", you asked seriously and he smiled weakly, nodding along, "So it’s not Lewis that interests me", you concluded, paying attention to the track again.

Charles sighed, pulling you closer to him, a gesture that made you smile.

Once the race ended, you headed towards the outside, trying to avoid the confusion as much as possible.

"Shall we eat something?", Charles asked you, intertwining your fingers, and you smiled shyly at him, which made him chuckle.

"Please!", you agreed and laughed out loud. "Suggestions?", he asked and you looked thoughtful.

"The center might not be a good idea because it must be full after this", you ruled out, "that new panini shop?", you suggested and he agreed.

You got in the car and headed towards the shop, ordering it to go and Charles ended up choosing a nice spot that overviewed the city.

"Tomorrow I'm going to race", he began, "I know it's not your tradition, but I'd like for you to come watch", he invited and you smiled.

"I'll be there", you agreed and it was his turn to smile, "At what time is it?", you wondered.

"At 10:00 in the morning. I know it's Sunday but...", Charles trailed off.

"Tomorrow, at that time, I'll be there to support you", you promised and he thanked you.

Charles parked the car and you got out of the vehicle, enjoying the fresh night air, which was quite pleasant. He cleaned his shirt and pants again and heard you laugh as you came closer to help him with the crumbs.

"Clumsy", you criticized jokingly, and he stuck his tongue out at you.

You sat down on one of the benches that were there and you sighed, making Charles look in your direction.

"How peaceful", you whispered, while keeping your eyes closed and a small smile on your lips.

"Monaco is really beautiful", Charles said, hearing you agree with a small murmur.

You took off your cap and tried to fix you hair, making Charles laugh.

"Let me help you", he gently asked and you turned to him, letting him fix the rebelliousness that characterized you.

As soon as he finished, he continued to caress them, which made you close you eyes to enjoy the affection.

"Kiss me", you murmured and he looked at you in surprise.

"What?", Charles asked, trying to understand if he had heard correctly.

"Kiss me, Charles", you repeated.

"Can I?", still astonished, he wanted to make sure.

"You should", you replied as Charles smiled at your answer and pulled you towards him, appreciating the serenity of your face.

"Finally", Charles whispered against your mouth before finally placing your lips together for the first time - of many, he hoped.

You allowed his tongue to enter your mouth when he silently asked for permisson and he intensified your kiss, truly surrendering to you.

And in eachother's lips, you discovered the path to peace, the one you both had lost years before with the pain that had overwhelmed you.

.

You woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, quickly getting up, not wanting to be late for Charles' race,

"Y/N, dear?", you heard the surprise in you mother's voice and couldn't help but laugh. "Hi, mama", you said, giving her permission to come in, and she did so.

"Are you going to tell me why you're up at this hour? Of all people, you who hibernates all weekend!", she joked and you stuck out your tongue, which made her laugh.

"I just felt like getting up, that's all", you said briefly, as you looked through your closet, looking for the most presentable, yet comfortable, clothes possible.

"And why are you going to dress so nicely if you're going to spend the whole day at home?", she mused, suspiciously, and you laughed at her curiosity.

"Okay, mama, you win", you eventually gave in and she celebrated, which made you laugh out loud.

"I'm going to watch the charity race", you said and her curious look made you realize that her questions were only at the beggining.

"Who's your boyfriend from there?", she didn't hesitate to ask and you looked at her, shocked etched on your face.

"Why do I have to have a boyfriend to watch the race?", you asked, astonished and she looked at you with an expression that said to not mess with her.

"Your mother is old but she's not stupid, Y/N", she scolded, laughing and you followed.

"Mama, you are forty-eight years old. You are a young woman", you complimented her, trying to make her drop about the subject and the older woman laughed.

"Yes, yes, sweetheart. Now the question I asked you", she insisted and you laughed, shaking your head.

"I don't have a boyfriend, mama. But I have a friend who would like me to go and I'm going", you told her and the smile she gave you made you blush.

"Name?", she wanted to know and you snorted, making her laugh.

"How annoying", you rumbled and she laughed again, "Charles".

"Then I hope this Charles takes care of you or the wooden spoon will fly", she threatened and you couldn't help but laugh with her.

"You're amazing, mama", you replied and she laughed, coming towards you and kissing your forehead.

"I just want you to be happy", she muttered, while caressing your face and smiling.

"I am", you assured her and she smiled, before walking away, leaving you alone again. You ran to the private bathroom and took a quick shower, leaving it shortly after so you could get ready in time. You applied some light makeup and dried your hair, leaving it in its natural waves.

You went down the stairs, passing through the living room, patting Simba on the head, the old Labrador who had always been with you, and whose name was based on Lucas' favorite movie.

"Good morning", you greeted your parents, although you had already spoken to your mother.

"Up so early, my dear?", your father was surprised and you looked at my mother, who was already looking at you with a suggestive smile that made you roll you

[jealousmartini]

for the s/o ask game: 🪽❤️‍🩹💭

i love hearing about people's love lives sm and your blog is so real

UghGGughh oh my gosh thanK YEWWW FOR THE ASK HUNNY

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪ANSWERING QUESTIONS FROM THE THE DR S/O ASK GAME! ⋆.🎀˚

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🪽 — what is your s/o from? (made-up, media, book, movie etc…) and why did you feel drawn to them?

Now I can already sense the tension in the air for this question, and I'm gonna need yall to lay down the tomatoes so I can EXPLAIN myself alr..?... Katsuki Bakugo. NOW HEY HEY I SAID PUT THEM DOWN🫵🏾 LET ME EXPLAINNN☹️

To put it simply, his character has always intrigued me, confused me and entertained me. So much so that I found myself unironically wanting to understand him even after going back and forth with myself trying to figure out if i liked him or not, and countless times ive failed lmao. But! For some reason i still felt a need to get him, so no matter how many times i misunderstood him I kept trying

And so with the help of my curiosity for his character and my consistancy with the anime, other mha/bakugo enthusiasts opinions and headcanons, edits and fanfictions, I finally got it was because he is just so raw-ly and really him and how he naturally navigates in relationships, especially the ones he prioritises. Even with how canonly brash, grumpy, bullyish, and mean he is, and with how so many people are really hypocritical talking about "oh his character development isnt really development unless he changes his attitude towards people" and "he needs to change his personality in order for us to believe it is real improvement", as if the concept of nuance doesn't exist, he doesnt adjust to their opinions. (Not unless it is absolutely necessary which he DOES realise is the case in major parts of the anime which i LOVE him for being so self aware)

It is the way he never let anyone change him. Which IS bullyish, loud and cocky. He IS mean, kinda crazy and blunt. And deep down I fucking LOVED THAT. Because even with such an insane personality he doesn't let that take over, and his self awareness is strong enough to check himself when he knows hes in the wrong. And it's not like he's biased with the way he treats people because he treats everyone equally like for example: with the way he nicknames everyone by their appearance, quirk or personality in a way that IS kinda mean but if you get him, is actually kinda funny too. And he still doesnt let his ego get the better of him when he recognises someone as respectable and admits that is so. And even though it's not in a socially acceptable nice and sweet way which was what everyone wanted him to be, it was still equal. It was still somehow fair.

And ontop of that, it's not like he picks on people he doesn't even know (anymore). There is that obvious well needed change of charcter he had (which is part of his character development) and if you actually pay attention youll notice his maturity developed too. So when I tried to tell myself that I didnt like him in the beginning, I would still find myself respecting and admiring him because of how true he was to himself, yet still pushed himself to become better because he was still so self aware.

I then realised he was quickly growing on me. Because through his character development I learnt that "being better" doesn't always mean being what is socially acceptable, or "nice" which is always what is expected. And I then noticed how I never really wanted him to change his personality. Because I accepted that this was HIM and had the right to be him, without others trying to change him. And i unironically fuck with the way he is naturally. He who is not like everyone else in the sense that is he isnt "nice and friendly"; still has the right to move around and exist as he, is (which is mean cocky and brash) and does so accordingly and confidently, will ultimately earn my utmost respect expeditiously. And when it finally clicked me, I guess I kinda fell in love a little🫠🫠(im down horrendous).

❤️‍🩹 — what does your s/o smell like?

Smokey caramel and fucking vanilla😭😩😩 because of katsuki's nitroglycerin sweat, he always smells like caramel but it starts to smell burnt, smokey or like someone is cooking caramel anytime he uses it, depending on how bad the explosions are. It is so fucking funny to me how someone so brash, mean and cocky naturally smells like a bakery😭😭. At least he doesn't smell like cooked flesh though so 🤷

💭 — who was the first person you told after getting with your s/o?

MY GIRLS URARAKA, MOMO, MINA AND JIROU! (and somehow kirishima, denki, sero and deku found out...) first it was Uraraka I told cus she and I are like this though🤞🏾🤞🏾 It's been a thing that basically the whole class knows I have a crush on bakugo even though I have a naturally flirty and freaky personality with most of my friends JOKINGLY, but if you squint, it's apparently really obvious. And those bitches have been squinting real hard😒😒😒

[bi-wan]

Commission for Ankerbast ♥ (twitter)

Full version

[toodrunktofindaurl]

"Death's child"

twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 patre*n

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[flwrkid14]

Don’t get me wrong, I love fanon Tim Drake and his coffee addiction, but I seriously love canon Tim Drake and his obsession with energy drinks. The fact that he absolutely despises coffee just a little bit more is so relatable (totally not because I love energy drinks just as much).

I like to think Tim can only tolerate coffee when it’s loaded with sugar, creamer, and anything sweet he can add to drown out the bitterness. The idea of him hating the actual taste of coffee but still chugging down the sweetest cup possible just to stay awake is peak Tim behavior.

[mmpookie]

ONE THING? nah I'm rolling up my sleeves for this one (LOTS of rambling)

1. OK quick 😭 the gameplay.❌️ I REFUSE to spend money on this game, if we have to grind through levels for more story at LEAST make some minigames that are actually fun 🙏

2. Second. Easy. Have someone who can actually accurately translate the Korean to English ☹️..Please.... are there any korean mutuals out there......

3. Ok now for actual story and probably just nitpicky things:

Spica. love the guy. infact. he was real close to being my favorite bc personally I found his character really sweet and low-key funny. but man. by the end of game compared to everyone else, this guy got the least development :( I like all the little things, like that he's just some overworked college student who's a lil sassy and loves horses+mythological animals, but if I could make canon, I would say the reason Spica works so hard is because he has to fill the space that his influential parents left when they died in the first great disaster. Would that make? sense to the timeline?? who knows. I think he's a good contrast to Sirius, since out of everyone, he's the best example of someone who's DEVOTE to the constellations and academy, along with his adoration of Polaris' heroism. But. It'd be cool if they could've written more of WHY he's like this, It would neat give perspective

THE TIMELINE?? WHAT IS THIS CANON TIMELINE 😭 IT'S HARD FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT. WHY ARE SPICA ALPHERATZ AND SIRIUS NOT OF HIGHER STATUS IF THEYVE BEEN SORCERERS FOR MORE THAN A CENTURY? ARCTURUS TOO RIGHT? I JUST WISH I COULD UNDERSTAND WHY THERE'S SUCH A LARGE TIME SKIP FROM THE POLARIS ERA. IT COULD MAKE SENSE IF THERE WAS JUST THE WORLD BUILDING FOR IT🙏 I like to think about Marcille from Dungeon Meshi when I think about characters with long life spans, and it can be genuinely a cool concept when done right !

I'll just mention quickly that I like how they wrote Alpheratz to be this kind of cranky apathetic guy, but eventually becomes alot more likeable n compassionate. He's found meaning in protecting the friends that he realizes he actually cares about. mm. love that. But the whole Alpheratz as Sirrah thing was.. pretty brushed by? I think they mainly had it that way so Alpheratz would have more specific reason to protect summoner, it drives the mystery of polaris lore further but I don't feel like it gives the oompth that it should. Cool concept, but! I feel like it should have deeper purpose OTHER than just eluding that polaris=summoner. SAME WITH ARCTURUS BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT. Alpheratz represents the burnt out gifted kids who are uncomfortable with filling in the large shoes they're expected to fill. He could be the character to push forward the tragic narrative of what it's like have your sole purpose in life = dedicating yourself to the constellations as a sorcerer. it'd be so interesting

have castor more involved in the main plot please please please please

Make the Polaris lore more clear?? please??? There was the whole stage play where they were all like ooh Polaris fell in love with a star and ooh the void god was jealous and therefore wreaked havoc-and while I know that Sirius implies that this is far from the truth, I can't help but wonder what the ACTUAL context was for the void's motives (tho I have theories). Also. was Sirrah meant to be Polaris' lover if this was the case or?? Hey atleast it could tie into Alphertaz's whole memory thing

FLESH OUT ARCTURUS' VOID ARC MORE PLEASE. OH MY GOD. Bro when that floor first released I was HOOKED but so dissapointed how quickly they moved on from it bc like- it's implied that Arcturus has been a dark sorcerer for the void for a WHILE, but when mc frees him all he says is "Golly! How weird! Sure glad that's over! Anyways! Here's Ursa Minor! ", and it's kind of like the Alpheratz as Sirrah reveal where it's more of a device to reveal that Summoner=Polaris..than any actual major character development. So. if I could rewrite it, I'd either do maybe two things, one- have it implied that Arcturus HAD the choice of whether he'd become a dark sorcerer, but from his perspective it was a decision he made for "the greater good", but it's something he genuinely does regret later on, and it would create a shift in his relationship to the committee once they discover this. Second- it really is more of a possession that creates a seperate persona he has little control over, (which happens directly after the banquet poisoning incident). I would make it more obvious by perhaps writing in mysterious disappearances he would make or other odd behaviors he can't explain. Either way, after he's seperated from the void I want there to be CONSEQUENCE!! Like maybe he had to sacrifice his magic or something physically, just anything he willingly offers to redeem himself, idk it'd be cool.

If they didn't have to rush through the ending, I feel like an arc where Summoner actually COMES TO TERMS that they're polaris is needed. Its kind of comedic how CHILL summoner is after they have this giant life-altering revelation with this sudden insane magical power. Like- I know mcs aren't written to have too much personality in these games but cmon give them a training arc atleast lmao

Sigh..... Sirius..... I've been humbled the past year while converted into a Sirius lover 😞which is so painful bc his character deserved so much better..... I'll atleast say that when reading inbetween the lines, there's a lot of things I like: like how he's pretty free-spirited guy who just likes to have fun, a trait he shares with other queen tets like pollux, his hobby is theatre and spreading gossip and pranking people with his transformation magic, I mean, he's been around for more than a century so ofc he does. I ALSO like the nuance in how though he rarely opens up to people or reveals what he's truly thinking- at the same time- he can never hide how he's FEELING, his eyes will always give it away haha. I like to think that since he sort of blames himself for what happened with Polaris, his self-loathing makes it hard for him to believe that he deserves any form of love, despite him always joking, and despite his flirting. AND HE'D DIE BEFORE EVER TELLING YOU HE FEELS THAT WAY!! Since then he's always felt uncomfortable with the vulnerability of TALKING about his feelings. There could be a cute arc where he learns to heal from this :') ... Now, for all the Sirius haters, I know where you're all coming from 😭 because.. he tries shooting us.. and they don't even reveal why for SEVERAL. FLOORS. Dude, I would have it so Sirius DOESN'T have this insane impulsive part of his personality that HARMS people!! No!! It would be far more interesting if he played his role through intellectual means, riddled spells and stuff bc. this guy studied under Polaris afterall.

Ok and just one more thing: IF the game is meant to have Sirius as a love interest, I would NOT have mc in their past life (polaris) have a familial relationship to Sirius, it just has weird confusing vibes. I would just easily change it so Polaris and Sirius were close friends or lovers instead. If this WASN'T a romantic otome game and Sirius is never meant to be a love interest, then yeah go ahead the family dynamic would be super bittersweet!

WAIT THIS IS AN EDIT. ALSO ALSO THE ENDING !! NEEDS WAY MORE DEVELOPING !! + MORE CLOSURE WITH SIRIUS IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T KILL HIM OFF !!

I want your opinions for reasons…

If there was one (or more than one) thing you could change in Arcana Twilight’s writing, what would you change? Be specific please 👁️👁️

[lunarharp]

uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier

[torchstelechos]

You know I think it's kind of funny how much LBH and SQQ mirror each other, like do you guys think about how to everyone around them in canon LBH knows everything about SQQ down to a single birthmark but SQQ doesn't seem to know anything about LBH? Despite everything they've gone through, SQQ seems to be playing catch up in their own relationship while LBH was already getting their wedding ready? But for us, the viewers, we know that SQQ knows everything about who LBH was suppose to be while LBH knows nothing about SQQ's own past and what he was suppose to be? SQQ knows everything that doesn't involve himself, while LBH knows everything that does involves himself. It's so funny to me how that must look to outsiders versus themselves <3

[raggedytiger]

the fact that people who arent even in the tadc fandom have been rbing and being kind about my most popular agatha & penny comic... wipes a tear

[sysig]

Time Loops are they/them culture (Patreon)

Bonus of my little guy in ISaT style: