#this was really only supposed to be a bunch of bullet points

[madameriasims4]

Basic Reduxe Kitchen

CC Set of 14 BGC Items

A combination of my Back to Basics and Basic Luxe kitchens, because I really liked my mesh for the Luxe ones, but I will always love butcher-block tops more than any other kitchen surface. It's a pretty standard kitchen and I think the file names are self-explanatory, so here are some bullet-points-of-interest:

Like my Basic Luxe kitchen, the counter's end pieces have been changed to an alternate full-tile model and a half-tile model for more customization.

The cabinet also contains half-tile end pieces

This color palette draws a few swatches from the Basic Luxe palette, but I changed the hardware color slightly, and grabbed a bunch of colors from sforz's various palettes

The dining set packages come in two standalone versions: one set that matches the rest of the kitchen's swatches, and another set of 18 solid wood tones (bottom two rows of palette image)

Disclaimer: I re-mapped the UVs for the island tops and some counter tops, so the dirt overlays may be funky-looking. Since you're supposed to clean them when they're dirty anyway I decided it wasn't worth the effort to figure out a seamless texture for them (if you saw the uv map you would understand)

Download link below the cut!

There isn't really much to say about this one! I thought it was going to be an easy project (when will I learn?) but I found some mistakes in the original meshes (nothing big but I'm a perfectionist) and fixed them along the way, which took extra time. And then I spent forever trying to decide on colors, and then trying to trim down the count (I cut 2 whole wood tones which helped decrease the number by about 30%).

I also decided to do custom thumbnails for these, because I liked the way they came out in my Basic Luxe set. I spent about three days manually generating, exporting, editing, and importing thumbnails (and even set up an auto-clicker program to help me!)... only to find out that S4S added a "catalogue thumbnail underlay" option in one of their updates. I'm still mentally recovering from that (read patch notes!!) 😔

Anyway, at least I got to play with ReShade a bunch! I've been mostly using it for screenshots in ESO, which is an online game that I can't pause, so being able to take my time and play with shaders and get juuuuust the right look was a real treat!

I use Peacemaker's No Occluder mod to prevent weird shadows from appliances/cabinets.

Credit: Kitchen Clutter | Solid Wood Texture by @myshunosun

Download (Patreon) Always free, no ads.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Okay I know I promised a rant, but it came out like a bunch of bullet points instead, so sorry.

The time skip was entirely unnecessary and makes the job of writing a finale harder

Having the umbrellas split up again undoes all of the character development up to this point

The relationships between the siblings have changed in the interim and needs to be explained through clunky expositional dialog

Why is there no learning curve after six years of not having powers?

There is no reason to include children and it actually works to the season's detriment

The children are non-entities and only exist to motivate Diego and Lila, just like Claire in season 1

The entirety of season 3 was just a testament to how bad at parenting Diego and Lila would be

Watching Diego and Lila bicker about domestic disputes is just boomer humor at this point

Your target audience of queer people do not want to see the people they're supposed to root for abandoning their children

It would have been both entertaining and entirely in character to keep the Diego/Lila dispute to suspected infidelity

Lila moonlights as a FBI agent but Diego thinks she's cheating so he goes through all the woman scorned tropes

This way it subverts the trope and gives us more opportunities to see duplicitous Lila and himbo Diego

I really thought Nick Offerman and Megan Mullaly would bring the energy, but no

I've never seen three hilarious people be so unfunny in my life

I cannot take David Cross seriously as a villain. He is so unthreatening.

Luther is the only one allowed to keep his character development and I just kinda wish they let him keep his wife

Allison is back to being an unrepentant bitch and does not earn the family's trust back

With a title like "the unbearable tragedy of getting what you want", I thought the episode would follow Allison trying to feel like she deserves to enjoy her life with Claire and Ray while dealing with the guilt of selling out her siblings

Considering that her entire season 3 arc was backsliding

But what it actually meant was okay I guess we'll never know

I heard a rumor??? Allison I think I heard a rumor about this guy?

Can we please give Klaus a break

Klaus can now clip into pushing daisies episodes

Klaus is trying to escape from his Angel Dust prison

Five looks like he's twelve

I'm always going to be suspicious of a showrunner that's trying to manufacture situations in which infidelity/incest is okay

Can we please give Viktor something to do

I do not blame him for fucking off to the middle of nowhere

Emmy for Elliot for depicting transmasc rageyt665ikju

I wish elliot would remove my marigold

Viktor has the power every autist secretly wants: to rule the fucking universe

Viktor between you and me I don't think this family is worth saving

Idk if Ben's arc is racist but it sure don't feel right

It's fuckin SHORTER. Why does it feel LONGER.

The no volume balancing is really fucking annoying

It would have been interesting to see hargreeves interacting with more than just one sibling at a time per season

Is being in your family like being stuck in a constant apocalyptic nightmare? You might just be transgender 

[genericpuff]

All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (A Prologue)

So I referenced a certain article in a recent reblog/ask response and I just need to talk about it because what the actual fuck-

This has to have been written by either a bot or a hater who's reached peak god tier level at playing the long con sarcasm game because NOTHING about this feels sincere or even factual. Much of it almost has to be read in a mocking tone for it to make any real sense.

It says "Lore Olympus" (literally in quotations) in just about every single paragraph over and over again and every single talking point revolves EXCLUSIVELY around Persephone, which I suppose comes as no surprise considering that seems to be all the comic - and its fanbase - cares about at this point.

I really love (/s) how Persephone's "evolution" is being naive and then 'blossoming' into an independent woman who relies entirely on the rich man who groomed her to solve all her problems.

Also all she's done since becoming Queen of the Underworld is abuse lower class people. That's the stuff feminist dreams are made of <3

While we're talking about the main leads, "poster child" is definitely a word for Hades, I think a more appropriate term would be "literal child". And boy howdy, 'god of consent' sure is a title to give the guy who ripped out a lower class satyr's eyeball and beat him half to death.

This man owns slaves, btw. And both he and his "powerful wife" are equally horrible to lower class people, especially women.

This is hands-down the funniest section of the article and we're only three bullet points in.

Thetis and Persephone have never even so much as spoken one word to each other outside of the courtroom that Thetis technically put her in after plotting against her for an entire season.

Eros is a man. Nothing wrong with that but it comes with the unintentional icky hilarity of implying that because Eros is the gay best friend, that means he's a woman.

They literally don't read this fucking comic-

Everyone always relies on this weird talking point of Demeter not being able to "let Persephone go"... y'all, she just didn't want Persephone to outright move to Olympus, she wanted her to commute. That was it! That was literally the only problem! She wasn't preventing Persephone from pursuing a higher education or telling her she wasn't allowed to work, she literally fucking encouraged it! And with the added later context of Persephone killing a bunch of mortals - and, ironically, the fact that Persephone was assaulted/put in harm's way by TWO SEPARATE MEN in the first two days of her time in Olympus - yeah, I don't blame Demeter for not wanting her daughter to move cold turkey actually LOL

Also hilarious that they claim Rachel has turned "tradition" into "innovation" when the only thing she's managed to do is set back modern feminism in her young adult readers by 80 years and re-establish misogynist brainwashing in her adult ones. Rachel, your fanbase was literally shipping a victim of abuse with her abuser just a few days ago.

oh boy this is uh

this is some cult shit ngl

and the "rewriting the script of Greek mythology" part is VERY concerning knowing what we know about Lore Olympus and who it was written by. This is literally cultural appropriation, full stop, and it exists because Lore Olympus - and works like it, made by people like Rachel - exists.

I can't even commit to the original theory that this was written by a bot because it all feels very pointed and intenetional. This is being written by someone who, at the very least, REALLY sucks at media analysis and writing, because the entire article is just "Lore Olympus, buzzword, Lore Olympus, buzzword, buzzword, Lore Olympus", it's like a white knight incantation for guilty virtue signallers who have zero clue what they're talking about. And at worst, yes, it's appropriation from someone who doesn't mind taking a culture's stories and myths and promoting their erasure by people outside of the culture like Rachel.

And that's it, that's literally the article lmao

*EDIT: There was a section here before addressing the writer of the article from a very opinionated POV that, while isn't unusual for what I do here, did feel necessary to remove after I was contacted by the article writer who addressed the flaws in their original article and is now seeking to correct them with revisions/an article rewrite. So I felt it only fair as a compromise to at least remove that section as it really doesn't have a whole lot to do with this post as a whole and can be removed without entirely ruining the flow of this analysis. If/when that article is rewritten, I'll be revisiting this post and my overall analysis !

And honestly, it's all really telling, because this does accurately reflect the state of the LO fanbase.

Not only do many of the people who defend this comic like it's their job not pick up on the blatant misogynist tones that are going on in its narrative (I can't even call them "undertones" anymore, they're no longer that subtle) but whether or not they even read the comic at all is up for debate with how much stuff they tend to get wrong in their own arguments and justifications. And this is something that's VERY regularly seen in the fanbase discussions, readers will constantly be unaware of things that happened because they skimmed through it at lightning speed just to see if Hades and Persephone kiss and so they can get the top comment on Webtoons so they can be "ahead of the fanbase". It's no wonder that Rachel has gotten used to getting away with retconning things because her fanbase didn't even read what she established the first time.

Rachel's fanbase was literally defending the romance ship of an abuser and his victim on the newest FP episode preview. When that FP episode came out two nights ago and Hera said, point blank, that he didn't love her but abused her, I could only think of that portion of the fanbase who was very audibly simping over Kronos in the IG comment section. Are they actually having their moment of shameful clarity now? Or are they just gonna move the goalposts and pretend that didn't happen?

I don't want to say anything bad about Shelby here because she really seems like she's fighting for her life on this site that she's trying to get off the ground, but a lot of her other articles also come across as very one-note while being peppered with buzzwords that make it seem like what she's talking about is "progressive" when it really isn't. Case in point, Lessons in Chemistry has been commonly criticized for not actually appealing to the demographic that its Mary Sue-ish main character is supposed to represent - women in STEM career fields.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Lore Olympus is not 'feminism', it's white feminism that is designed to appeal to predominantly heterocis white women who think the solution to misogyny is to willingly submit to it and accept the status quo - that it's "empowering" if the woman is smiling and having all her needs paid for by a man. Sure, I can accept that different women will be looking for different relationship dynamics, some women genuinely are happy being in a relationship where they support their husbands first and foremost. But can that truly be called feminism? Or is the real feminism the choices we make along the way that we should be given the freedom to make?

It says a lot about the folks who tend to regularly prop up LO on a pedestal like this as some "revolution in feminism" despite the contrary after spending more than just 30 seconds skimming the attention-grabbing art, and Shelby is just one of many. She's not the worst of the bunch, though.

That goes to someone else who I want to give proper light to in their own essay. Someone who definitely earned a good stern talking-to this past week and has, thankfully, had consequences dished out to her for her horrible actions towards queer POC writers.

If you know, you know. If you don't, buckle up.

[unhappy-last-resort]

The Puppet In A Forest (Yandere Roland x GN Reader)

Warnings: forced kissing, bone breaking, drugging, implied minor surgery performed without readers consent, tracking

A/N: I apologize for any stiff writing or grammar mistakes. This was literally just supposed to be this short little 1 AM thing for his birthday and it fucking spiraled into this

Status: edited

You wade through crystal waters, fireflies twinkling around you like little stars in the night and comforting you ever so slightly, the quiet chirping of crickets in the distance is calming enough to make you almost forget there was an ongoing war outside this place, but unfortunately not enough to make you forget why you're here. The letters you received six hours ago have led you to an rural town in the outskirts of Kowloong, to a pond with bamboo growing in its edges.

You suck in a breath and steady your grip on your gun. You really shouldn't be here, not for the reasons you're weaving through towering rods of bamboo, anyway. Your heart tussles with itself, one part saying that you should turn back, the other telling you to push forward. Meeting an Ascendant isn't just dangerous to your prestigious position as Gray Ravens commandant, but also physically.

You're going to the coordinates you found inside the Russian dolls Roland sent you and the thought that it's just a trap has never once left your mind. Roland is a trickster, murderer, manipulator, and an actor, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't have forwarded those letters to Hassen and Nikola, no reason for you to be here alone, and no reason for you to feel a painful tug in your heart when you read the last line of his second letter.

"I'll be waiting for you and gladly accept whatever you have for me, whether it's a bullet, a restraint, or an Activation Date gift."

In your uncertainty, you've prepared all three, your gun loaded and drawn at any potential danger, the restraints dangling off your hip, and a small box of chocolates sitting securely in your bag. It's unconventional for a birthday gift, but you don't have time to look, or make something more appropriate and frankly, there's no reason for you to put more effort in. You're enemies, not friends, and you don't owe anything to him.

You keep moving, the mud of the ponds floor squishing beneath your thigh high boots, the water beneath you littered with fallen leaves from the bamboo above you. Gradually, the bamboo starts to thin out, easing you into a small empty space. There's a rock sitting in the center, bathed by the moonlight as fireflies dance around it.

You can't see anyone, or a sign that anyone was here to begin with, although it's not like you'd find much in a shallow pond at night. You carefully feel out the ground ahead of you before stepping forward, it's easy to fall for the illusion of ground beneath you and end up much more wet than you intended and it'd be much harder to explain your little trip to your team if you came back dripping wet.

You reach the center of the clearing and look around. No one's here, it's just you. The water sloshes and ripples with every movement you make, announcing your presence to the surrounding silence...was it always this quiet?

Plunk.

You whip around, gun pointed in the direction of the sound as you glare into the dark, as if the very darkness itself would somehow lift to reveal what hides inside it. You stay like that for half a minute, ears and eyes straining for movement, but there is none. No more noises, just silence. It's only now do you realize that the fireflies that were here have disappeared, as if they'd been scared off by something, but what could scare a bunch of bugs?

You look around again, re-observing your surroundings. You look down and see these tiny little black dots in the water, confused you reach down and scoop one up in your palm and bring it close to your face.

It's an insect, it looks like a firefly. Your eyebrows furrow and you check your terminal, scanning the air quality...nothing. Punishing levels are low, and nowhere near fatal for a human, and there are no other toxins present in the air. You rack your brains, trying to think of anything that might cause a bunch of bugs to just die like this, but you come up with nothing.

You inspect the bug again, as if there's anything else a simple big would be hiding-

Wait.

There are tiny, inconspicuous little ball joints on each of its legs, and a very thin seam where the body connects to its abdomen, which on closer inspection is just an LED light trapped in a casing. It's mechanical. It's a fake. You've been surrounded by hundreds of mechanical bugs since you came to the clearing, maybe since you first stepped foot near the pond.

You drop it from your hand, it's body making a small plink sound as it falls into the water. You sigh and look up, only to find yourself caught in the gaze of a pair of eyes.

A figure clad in black and white with grey hair stands as still as a statue. His hair is undone and pulled forward, his long locks falling over his shoulders, his eyes glow like jewels in the moonlight, the cool tones of his outfit making his eyes stand out even more.

"Prefiero un minuto contigo a una eternidad sin ti." He whispers, the silence around us making even the quietest whispers apparent. "I never thought you would come. Hah...I thought I'd made myself a fool again."

You sigh through your nose, your grip on your gun is tight, but pointed at the water. In your shock you hadn't pointed it at him, your mind still trying to fathom how many fake fireflies there were and what else around you was an illusion that, you hadn't thought of giving yourself a defensive position. And getting into one now may escalate things.

"You're always a fool." You mutter ruefully, keeping your eyes on his. "Why would you think your enemy would respond to you?"

A grin stretches across his face, growing wider until he bursts into a chuckle. "Well, you did, didn't you? Besides," He pauses, smile dropping into a deadpan. "I did say I wanted to get you out, no matter what. Didn't I?"

"What would you have done if the letters hadn't worked, then?"

Another chuckle. "Oh, wouldn't my little rabbit like to know? Tell you what, if you can win my game, I'll tell you."

Roland starts moving towards you, he moves silently, so much so that if you hadn't seen the water moving you would have thought he was a ghost or a figment of imagination. It was like he was one with the space around him, seamlessly fitting in as if he belonged there- as if he was always there.

You breath, feeling more anxious by the moment as Roland closes in at a steady pace. "What game?"

"It's just a simple question, if you answer correctly you win, if you don't..." He smiles again.

"...What happens if I lose?"

"Hmm....I get to take a present from you." He stops at arms reach from you, smile still plastered on his face and an undeniable glee glinting in his eyes.

"I already brought you one though." His eyes widened in surprise, his smile faltering for a moment.

"You really brought me a gift? Here I was expecting you to restrain me and bring me back to Babylonia."

You watch him for a moment before reaching a hand into the bag at your hip, Roland's eyes flickering from your hand to your face, the flurry of emotions behind them tells you he's as desperate as he is distrusting of you right now. Slowly, you pull out the chocolates and hand it to him.

"Aww, do you really have to be so stiff?" He chuckles, tilting his head slightly, it felt half mocking, half curious as he graciously took the box from you and gingerly opens it.

"Oh my, this is quite a romantic gift. Could it be the Gray Raven Commandant is harboring feelings for an Ascendant?" He muses, feigning shock.

You roll your eyes and attempt to snatch the box out of his hand. "I can always take it back."

He leans back, looking almost offended, keeping the chocolates out of your reach. "Of course not! Anything from you is treated with the utmost care."

"But this is the first time you're getting something from me?"

He smiles, popping a chocolate in his mouth before tucking the box away in his coat. "Well now, should we start the game?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Is this place real, or an illusion?" He stares at you, smile still on his face as the question hangs in the silence.

"...What?"

"Is it real, or an illusion?"

His expression is indiscernible, emotions hidden behind the thick curtain of a jester's smile. The silence of the area you're in is deafening, the previous chirps of crickets had long gone, leaving you and Roland in a pool of knee deep water, sprinkled with mechanical bugs on its surface.

As much as those things may have been fake, you were certain the rest couldn't be. The lake, the bamboo, those things had to be real. The amount of materials required to do something isn't something Roland would have access to, not to mention the time required.

"It's real."

He looks pleased, too pleased for your liking. "Is that your final answer?"

You hesitate. Are you wrong? Or is that just what he wants you to think? Indecision rips at your mind, your thoughts circling each other over and over, never getting any closer to an answer. Is he playing a trick, or are you overthinking? But he looked so happy when you said it was real, so you must've gotten it wrong, right?

"Uh...No!" You fumble, almost out of desperation. Your answer swings like a pendulum in your mind.

"No?" He drawls, putting a hand to his chin as he watches you.

"No...it's fake." You breath.

Roland raises a brow. "Are you sure?"

You suck in a breath, if you take it back again, you'll just be stuck in a never ending loop of second guessing yourself. "Yes."

Roland laughs and it makes you flinch, it feels especially loud in your ears for some reason. "Alea jacta est. Congratulations, my dear little puppet."

He announces with all his usual bravado as he closes the distance between you two. Alarmed you move back only for his hand to grip your wrist, rendering your hand with the gun useless. You pull at your arm as hard as you can, but you only succeed in earning a chuckle from him.

He pulls you close and before you can realize what's going on you feel lips press against yours in a greedy, pawing kiss. His teeth nip at your bottom lips, his tongue swiping over and attempting to push through your lips. You resist, refusing to open your mouth and using all your strength to break yourself free.

"Quit struggling." Roland grunts and twists your wrist unnaturally, a snap sounding up your arm and you open your mouth to scream, only for it to never make it out into the world and being swallowed by Roland instead.

His tongue explores every inch of your mouth with a fervor that speaks of an untold longing and desperation, an insatiable need that quickly overwhelms you with the pain in your wrist.

You feel drowsy, the edges of your vision blurring as continues his forced affection. You try to fight it, but you can't, your vision fading on a string of saliva between you and eyes of amber and ruby aglow like flames.

You gasp, your heart pounding as you stare at the wooden beams above you. It takes you a moment to realize you're in the abandoned tea house, the one you and your team decided to camp in.

You sit up slowly, your sleeping bag rustling quietly as you move. Your head hurts and you feel woozy just from sitting up, it takes you a moment to realize one of your wrists is bandaged, although it doesn't feel like it was done well despite it appearing to be wrapped properly.

You groan, how did you end up hurting your wrist again? Everything feels so foggy in your head that you can't remember.

"Hey Command- what the hell?" A captain dashes over to you, you vaguely remember his name being Casper.

Ah, that's right. You were sent on a mission to Kowloong to help assist a team that had gone for artifact retrieval. The battle ended a while ago and your team agreed to wait until day break to return to Babylonia.

Casper looks flustered, gently bringing your arm up to inspect your cast.

"Hey, Didi! Get Mao and have him dress a wound the Commandant got!" He yells to the door before turning back to you. "How did you do this? You should've asked one of us to help you if you didn't know how to wrap your injury."

You consider saying something, but instead you give a half-hearted smile and apologize. You don't want to cause them more grief than you likely already have.

An airy chuckle dances in the wind as the transport craft from Babylonia lifts off with its passengers. Pointlessly, Roland waves it goodbye as if you could see it- not like you'd appreciate it even if you did. Maybe you'd even hate him by now, if you hadn't before.

Still, like a fool he clung to the hope that you'd be someone he could count on. No, that's not quite right. Something he could own, a person he could claim for himself and not share with others.

As much as the temptation to whisk you away as you rested unconscious in his arms was deliciously enticing, he would be a fool to think he could protect you from Babylonia's lackeys, let alone in this old frame. Without a doubt the best of the best would come from you and he had difficulty enough with just Gray Raven, and that Kamui fellow and his original have been a pain too. The only way he'd be able to do that now would be to go to Der Meister himself and he made his skin crawl. He would never trust the likes of him with Luna, or you.

For now, he'll just have to settle with knowing where you are. He did his best to make sure everything was sterile when he made the incision, although he was still worried that it might get infected...Oh well, even if it did and that tracker got discovered, there are still others among your things, so it won't be that big of a deal.

"La vie est une fleur dont l'amour est le miel. 'Til we meet again, my dear."

[littlestsnicket]

you know what actually? maybe tumblr should have to deal with my disparate iwtv thoughts

things i am currently hung up on:

- lestat is so strongly cat coded that since he is a fictional character he shouldn’t be held responsible for his actions. like you can only get so mad that a cat got overstimulated and bit you while you were petting it. that’s an apex predator you sort of socialized and let in your house.

- claudia learns a bunch of eastern european languages like it’s nothing and her french accent is so bad. like i’m pretty sure my french accent is better and my spoken french was so bad when i studied it in high school that i panicked and handed in a blank tape for the spoken part of the french AP exam. this is also very obviously on purpose. but what does it mean?!? for the first one we only have louis’s memories un-supplemented by armand’s, but like she was clearly functionally fluent in multiple languages for them to get through all that.

- lestat loves claudia a lot more than louis thinks he does and it’s still not nearly enough to overcome his lestat-ness

- lestat and armand are like the same character except except except but especially that lestat has never once acted with forethought. and i think louis sometimes ascribes lestat with a type of malice that he’s not actually capable of. all of this makes it interesting that he’s good at chess. but claudia is better at chess and i think she gets whatever that is from louis. armand probably isn’t capable of playing chess. i imagine he looks at a chess board with the same staticky confusion that i do. like i know i could learn this but… (this bullet point really got away from me)

- memory!lestat eating the photograph!! louis, that lestat is representing an extension of yourself as much if not more than it’s representing your memories of lestat. what the fuck dude?

- who is armand when he’s alone? the way he calls baby!daniel a black hole like that is both the lowest of lows and just might be something to aspire to, better than beige nothingness.

- armand knows he will never be more interesting or more loved than lestat but stays anyway and resents louis for it (but also doesn’t because well armand’s loved lestat too). but what else is he supposed to do? he’s never done anything that mattered, just reacted.

[journen]

Okay @chaos-vulpix asked me for Simon & 141 encountering Koroks thoughts and so here is my little ramble

Was discussing this with some others too, so also some brainstorm credit / idea credit is owed to Govan, Kells and Goblin!! xD I'm not sure if you guys have tumblrs but I appreciate you all in also indulging in this fun silly idea with me. XD

So this is all inspired by this recent art I did of Simon with a korok lol.

I think he'd hate these little fuckers. They are small and supposed to be cute, and he is confused. Simon would encounter it and be like what the actual fuck is this thing and call Johnny for backup. Johnny thinks they're cute, and tries to convince his LT they are harmless but Ghost doesn't trust them. "These fuckers aren't in the field manual Johnny".

We also joked that Ghost, not knowing what the hell these koroks are at first, would just unload a whole mag in one but little does he know they're immune to bullets and tank the whole mag and are just like YA HA HA 😭😭😂

But maybe Ghost is actually a korok magnet lol. These little fuckers like him for some reason, against his will, and follow him everywhere. They are like lost puppies who follow Ghost around and show up when he least expects it. Disney princess Ghost with koroks. He hates it and wants them to leave him alone. One grabs his leg to give him a hug and he trips and injures himself trying to fucking kick it off and Soap just stands there laughing his ass off at him xD Simon is having a day.

I think Price would be confused by these little guys too and would tell Simon to get rid of them and Simon, exhausted, eye twitching, "I CAN'T!!" One would definitely spook the shit out of Gaz too, Gaz doesn't know what to think of the little guys xD

The koroks also leave little seeds and berries out for Ghost to find and he is so annoyed. He also thinks he has gotten rid of them all at some point only to make up in the middle of the night with one staring at him and he literally screams and it wakes up Soap.

Soap likes the little koroks but they just don't give him as much attention as they do Ghost. But he is very amused by his LT's frustration with these little beings and gets a ton of joy out of it 🤣

I have a few more drawing ideas from this too haha like Simon being cornered and scared by a bunch of koroks. Him walking and just a line of them following behind him. Soap holding a korok going "they're not so bad, LT!". Price smoking a cigar and having an intense stare down with a korok. A korok with a bunch of bullet holes 😭 just going YA HA HA and Simon having a mental breakdown.

And the thing that inspired all this was this fic I wrote that's an AU if Simon left the military to raise his young nephew Joseph, and Soap Is visiting them when he is sent on medical leave. Soap gets really into playing Zelda and when he's away Simon takes the controller to try out the game, he goes on a whole tirade of why he hates koroks xD I had totally forgotten i'd written all that and so it also inspired that artwork I linked earlier ahaha.

I definitely also think he and Soap could be a force to be reckoned with if they team up to play totk because they would absolutely engineer the most elaborate creative korok torture devices xD

Okay sorry for the long ramble ahaha. I hope some of this is kind of funny! Hope to maybe do a couple other sketches for this idea too.

[charmikarma]

hallo it's me. (crookedgrifter) I'm back and I want your davejade / davejadekat thoughts. gimme

my thoughts huh ... i sure am a rambler so you're gonna get a whole essay on this

i guess in thinking abt davejadekat it always starts with jade. which is well enough because davekat has been talked to death at this point, hasn't it? i don't think i could tell you anything new or interesting about that dynamic at this point.

ANYWAY. jade. i kind of get into this in my polar express fic which ik you've read, but she is SO lonely. what the fuck are you supposed to do for ~10 years alone on an island with just a dog?? a dog who could take you somewhere else, somewhere with people, but he won't. and maybe jade knows why because of her dreams on prospit, but also maybe not! either way i think she puts a lot of faith in her dreams. it's kind of the only hope she has for the future.

i think she also has some hope in dave, this really cool dude she has this awkward internet middle school crush on. and dave is super cool to her too! i think it's implied he furry roleplays with her even?? cutest shit ever. i think this is the thing that has made me always love davejade ... they are just. so sweet to each other. dave clearly cares SO much about her.

the other thing about jade is... she's kinda fucked over repeatedly by the narrative, isn't she? she's the last beta kid introduced, so she has a lot less time to develop. the closest she really gets to developing is being really pissed off at karkat after her dreamself dies (i'll talk about this in a sec). her arc basically ends at cascade. her character arc ends in the dead middle of the comic, in a flash animation that contains exactly 0 character development. hussie says so himself in the author's notes. (don't even get me started on the author's notes jesus christ.) everything that happens on the boat is pretty much irrelevant, because it gets retconned out. instead she spends 3 years completely fucking alone, and we like... barely unpack this in canon.

so her life story up until this point is basically: raised by grandpa till ~3-5ish > living on her own till 13 > meeting dave briefly in the game > DAVE FUCKING DIES IN FRONT OF HER, WITH HER OWN BULLETS > she meets john briefly > JOHN AND DAVESPRITE FUCKING DIE > she spends 3 years alone with no solace except "yeah they had to die but you'll see them again in the new session" from alt!calliope and i guess a bunch of sprites and consorts and chess dudes. she says it herself: as nice as it is to have these folks around, they're not able to relate to her. they're not fellow thirteen year old kids. she may not be technically alone, but she is essentially alone, and she just 1. died twice in one day and 2. witnessed the deaths of several of her friends.

more on being fucked over by the narrative - jade actually has a kind of interesting dynamic with karkat in the middle of a5a2! what happens with this dynamic later on? fucking nothing!!!! like seriously i am so interested in this whole. self-hatred parallel that gets drawn between them and then how jade puts her foot down and is like you are fucking nuts. no more yelling at yourself. and it goes nowhere!! this dynamic exists for like, maybe 1% of the comic. it's really fucking sad honestly. even at the very end of homestuck, she has to be sidelined for being too powerful, thereby excluding her from all the endgame convos. like we cannot win with her

ok anyway, here's where i get into the stuff i think is really interesting. at the end of homestuck, alt!calliope tells jade that she's suffered enough, and that it's time for her to live her life how she wants to. we don't see how this plays out in homestuck proper, BUT...... the epilogues. sighs heavily.

i may be an epilogues lover but even i have to admit that jade's portrayal is.... a mess. i don't think it's wildly out of character, exactly, but it definitely toes the line... and it's definitely extremely fucking uncomfortable. it does, however, give me some insight into how i think about jade now, because while the minutiae don't really feel in character, i do think the broad strokes of what they were going for make sense.

jade took alt!calliope's words and said, fuck it. i will take charge! i won't wait anymore! i am going to have what i want. and she does get a lot of that! she gets to hang out with her friends, hang out with her brother, meet a ton of people, have a bunch of sex (presumably when she's older), and so on. but see... doing a lot of things doesn't really fill the emptiness she feels. she has so much love to give and not enough outlet for it. she needs all the love in the world and has nobody to give it to her. and she still has this big fat ten-year-old crush on dave strider that never went anywhere. but the approach she takes to life now is just... so incompatible with what dave needs. same for karkat. they both need a LOT of patience to come out of their shells, and jade is living life in the fast lane. the more she pushes, the more withdrawn they become. it is a disaster.

i want to fix it so fucking bad.

jade needs a lot of character development for all this to work, but the dynamic is absolutely there. some of their convos in early meat are so fucking funny dude, they are such good friends. it is absolutely not for lack of caring on either dave or karkat's part that things don't work out in the epilogues. it's this disconnect between what jade thinks is helpful and what dave and karkat need. i really want jade to find the balance between living at breakneck speed and waiting ten years for something to happen. i want her to feel loved for once in her damn life. and i want dave and karkat to stop being such depressing shut-ins. please guys you could balance each other out if you would just figure out how to communicate

anyway. there's your essay. it's mostly about jade. hope that's ok. i love jade harley so much my ultimate goal is to see her happy and mark my words i will figure out how

[bluejay-the-geek]

DC characters/moments as Tortured Poets Department songs/lyrics bc i have a light concussion and am very bored (in the album's chronological order)

(disclaimer before someone is triggered- some of the lyrics are taken out of context or interpreted differently than what they actually mean. this is just for fun don't come for me. also this gets pretty angsty towards the end so proceed with caution)

"I was supposed to be sent away, But they forgot to come and get me"- tim drake very obviously bc neglecting parents/boarding school

"I love you, it's ruining my life"- early harleen quinzel about joker

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"- the whole song is just harley quinn idc (pre-harlivy of course)

"Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym"- nightwing def cried at the gym at some point

"I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe"- dick grayson about bruce after moving out of wayne manor

"You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"- remember the whole selena leaving bruce at the alter thing? yeah

"I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, It's mine alone to disgrace"- I'm just getting red hood vibes from this no specific reason

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you, Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"- almost every gotham rouge to batman right after escaping arkham/prison. especially joker, catwoman and riddler lol

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings"- this one specific panel of tim and steph

"And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"- everyone who's ever been to gotham

"All my girls got their lace and their crimes, And your cheating husband disappeared, well, No one asks any questions here"- it's giving gotham city sirens

"Am I allowed to cry?"- maybe it's just me but i thought about clark kent discovering he had different biological parents and grieving about them even though the parents that actually raised him are alive and well

"So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream, "Who's afraid of little old me?", You should be" red hood's debut

"The scandal was contained, The bullet had just grazed, At all costs, keep your good name, You don't get to tell me you feel bad"- jason todd about the whole making batman choose between him and joker at the end of under the red hood

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"- this is 100% Bane bc he was born and grew up in prison for a crime he didn't even do!! also cassandra cain and damian wayne

(^this is actually the lyric that inspired this entire post lol)

"You caged me and then you called me crazy, I am what I am 'cause you trained me, So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?"- kind of a stretch but remember that time they put jason in arkham?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- again the whole song is harley about joker

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes, And I'll still see it until I die, You're the loss of my life"- bruce about jason. out of all the robins that died, jason's death hit him the hardest. even now when bruce sees red hood, he still sees that happy little kid that he lost

"I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life", There in her glittering prime, The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, I can show you lies"- bc we all know Nightwing is always dying on the inside, and it was very true in the discowing era bc it was right after he left the manor

"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit"- jason pre-bruce

"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"- ok so we got joker about batman, cupid about green arrow, hush about bruce wayne... and a bunch of others but it's too many to write lol

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time"- fucking tarantula that bitch

"The smallest man who ever lived"- the atom! not any of the messages in the song tho ofc he's just very small

"What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, Worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map ,I haven't come around in so long, But I'm coming back so strong"- joker to batman after escaping arkham again

"I haven't come around in so long, But I'm making a comeback to where I belong"- jason coming back to protect crime alley after being away from gotham for years after his resurrection

"Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you"- batman and catwoman<3

I Hate It Here- imagine the whole song as homeless jason todd taking shelter in the library💔

"I built a legacy that you can't undo, But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"- bruce built a legacy as batman, and created a huge family he loves, and it hurts to think about but he wouldn't have any of it if joe chill hadn't murdered his parents

"Please, I've been on my knees, Change the prophecy, Don't want money, Just someone who wants my company"- kid bruce grew up all alone in a huge mansion, but he'd give all his billions away in a heartbeat if he could change his parent's fate

"So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst"- ok so you might think i chose cassandra cain for this only bc of the name, BUT- cass notices things others don't (like cassandra the prophet...), bc of her skills and abilities she is feared the most (Ik the song said "she feared" not "she is feared" but idc lol). like if someone knew so much about you just by looking you'd think she's some kind of a witch too

Peter- picture this: jason had a childhood friend back at crime alley. he left to live in wayne manor and become robin, and said goodbye to his old friend, promising they'd reunite again in the future. 3 years pass and his friend reads an article about jason's death. now listen to the song and try not to cry (if someone writes that fic send me the link IMMEDIATELY this has been haunting me) here's the link to the song with lyrics bc ik you're too lazy to look it up. also jason's middle name is peter:)

"Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"- brucie wayne vs batman

"Started with a kiss, "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding, Out the drive one evening"- catwoman and batman of course<3 the town car is the batmobile speeding out the batcave to catch catwoman (to arrest her or make out with her? probs both)

Robin- ofc we have to go robins for robin! imo that's bruce to dick and jason's robins, and dick to damian when he was his robin. dick and jason- despite the hard times they went through that led to them becoming robins, they were still mostly happy curious kids that run around covered in mud while bruce tried (unsuccessfully) to maintain the innocence they had left. as for damian- it's more of a stretch than the other 2 bc he had no childlike innocence before robin, but dick tried his hardest to extract the child that was hidden inside the ruthless assassin the league created, finally allowing him to experience normal kid things. idk

"He said, "I'm not a donor but, I'd give you my heart if you needed it", She rolled her eyes and said, "You're a professional""-to me this is clark kent completely in love and lois with her sass

"And at last, She knew what the agony had been for"- almost every hero. they suffer, they sacrifice, they fight, and sometimes they want to give up- but at the end of the day, they save lives, so it's all worth it

and that's it folks! feel free to add more/share your insights!!

sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language plus like the title said i had a minor head injury a few days ago and I'm tired soI'm not proofreading this bc I'm going to sleep rn goodnight to all✌️

[tuliprambles]

As someone who loves the suicide squad, as a concept, can someone explain to me what the hell WB is even trying to do?

It's like they really want the suicide squad to be a popular brand, something of their own to stand a chance against Marvel. That makes sense to an extent when Justice League bombed and the only recent movie in the DCEU that got a lot of praise was The Suicide Squad. But then I think about it and realize, that movie is the only piece of suicide squad content that actually understands what the IP is supposed to be about.

Between the 2016 movie, the video game, and the anime that just dropped, I'm left completely baffled. The suicide squad (or Task Force X, whatever) isn't meant to be this elite team of supervillains that take on world-ending threats, or even multidimensional threats. They're a group of criminals used by a corrupt government to perform top secret missions in a completely inhumane fashion. So why are we getting media where they get isekai'd or dimension hop to fight a bunch of Braniacs? It's just...weird.

The 2021 movie actually got this right! Waller sends the team to wipe records of America's involvement in a secret project where they running inhumane experiments regarding aliens. Peacemaker was the only one made aware of this, the team was used and exploited. That is the entire point. They're all expendable and nobody giving them their missions gives a flying fuck about them.

Ya know what else gets this right? My Adventures with Superman, of all things. That show is a full on Superman story that Task Force X just so happens to also be involved in. Somehow it understands the point of the suicide squad more than actual suicide squad media, and we've been getting a LOT of that. In the show, the government is so paranoid by the existence if a being as strong as Superman, that they start using kryptonian technology. They give criminals they have captured superpowers and make them hunt Superman down. Waller views the criminals in prison as expendable and doesn't care what she has to do to them if it means getting a mission done. It doesn't shy away from how disgusting that is.

Yeah uh we also just had a video game where Superman literally dies because King Shark and Captain Boomering shoot him enough times with kryptonite bullets. Remember that?

With the release of Suicide Squad Isekai I'm just left completely baffled as to what WB is thinking when it comes to this IP. I would say the only reason the 2021 movie was good is because of James Gunn, but now even a Superman cartoon can get the concept down perfectly.

And I didn't even mention Harley Quinn's characterization lately which is a whole separate can of worms...

[backtothefanfiction]

Please Don't Leave Me | Agent Whiskey x Reader

Summary: The mission goes very wrong.

Warnings: Injuries and angst

Word Count: 1K

A/N: just a quick writing challenge for myself based around the prompt please don't leave me. I put a bunch of characters into a generator and Jack came out and it was honestly the easiest little story to create in 20 minutes. Enjoy.

There’s a reason you should never mix business with pleasure and it’s because of moments like this that actually remind you why.

It was supposed to be a simple mission. In and out with time for a good night at the hotel after. Just you and Jack doing what you do best. You had been working on and off together for five years now. Screwing each other after missions to let off steam for almost equally as long. Everyone told you not to do it. All the other girls in the office who had ever been seduced by him and left flapping on the shore when the tide went back out; warned you to stay away. But you were sure you could handle it. Told yourself it was just sex and that you wouldn’t fall in love. But he knew how to play the game. Knew how to win you over every time and lull you into a false sense of security to the point you thought, maybe he did care. Maybe he did love you back. But that look in his eye right now as he stood in the doorway, flash drive in hand ready to make a run for it whilst these brutes did everything they could to keep you down.

You hadn’t worried at first, but then you took a bullet to the shoulder and god damn if that didn’t hurt to the point you just wanted to hide in the corner and cry; but you couldn’t. You were a tough badass woman who had trained and worked too damn hard for this job to not keep fighting for the sake of the mission.

You really couldn’t blame him when he gave you that apologetic look and said, “Sorry Darlin’, it’s nothing personal.”

“Don’t leave me!” you had called out desperately. He was your back up after all. Without him there was no barrier between these men and yourself. Who knew what they would do to you. Kill you most likely, but when- and after what torture. “Jack! Please don’t leave me!” But he was gone.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 

Your arm smarted, but you continued to try and punch your way out. 

It was no good. Although some of them had run after Whiskey, many of them continued to gang up on you. You were on the floor now, arms held up protectively to your head, body curled tightly in an attempt to protect your vital organs; but it was no use. They kicked and they kicked- one thud after the other against your body. You should have been focusing, but what was the use. So your mind wandered- back to him. Every tender soft word said between crisp white hotel bed sheets. Every tender kiss. Every “it’s only you kiddo.” And he still left you behind.

There was a resounding bang! Followed by another and another. The kicking stopped. Your body started to relax as you opened your eyes to see him there in the doorway, a smoking gun in each hand. “Now fellas!” He called out into the room and you looked around the room at the men in their shitty black suits, all lying on the floor nursing various shot wounds. None of them instantly fatal, but still deadly enough. All hitting vital organs that would bleed out quickly, but not enough that they wouldn’t be able to listen to his lesson first. “Is that any way to treat a lady?”

You glowered at him when he finally locked his eyes on yours. He quickly holstered his pistols before rushing over to you. “Now you didn’t think I was actually gonna leave ya, did you?” You groaned as his arms reached around your body and lifted you from the floor.

“The drive?” you asked, your voice raspy.

“I handed it off to Ginger.” He said as he carried you from the room.

“Wait? Ginger’s here?” you groaned.

“Hey, rest now. Don’t worry, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

That was the last thing you remembered before your vision went black and you went limp in his arms.

—---

“What happened?” You asked as you woke up in the medical bay two days later. To your surprise, Jack was sat in a chair beside your bed reading some rodeo magazine. 

He quickly closed it, putting it down in his lap, before leaning across the bed, reaching for your hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said earnestly. “I thought I would lead them away, but clearly not enough of them.” You remained quiet, both slowly recalling the events that left you feeling black and blue, but also analyzing the pain in his eyes. “I called for evac the moment I left the room. Ginger said she’d seen everything through the glasses and was already on the way. Champ told me to get the drive out first. I had to do it. I couldn’t let on…” his voice trailed off.

“You couldn’t let on what?”

“I know I’m not supposed to do shit like this. You know. I told Champ I wouldn’t- fuck!” he hung his head in shame. “I didn’t think…”

“You didn’t think what? Didn’t think what Jack?!” you pressed him.

“That I’d actually care about you!” He snapped. “That I’d fall in love with you.” His words stunned you. “I compromised the mission today.” he said with shame.

“Yeah, but you got it out. You did the right thing in the end.”

“Yeah, but it should never had come to that.” He grunted. “I saw you in that dress and I just became distracted. It should never have come to that.” He repeated himself. 

In the silence that fell, you finally realised what he had said. “You love me?” you questioned tentatively.

He looked at you confused. “After all that, that’s the thing that you take away.” He paused for a moment, if only to gauge your reaction. “Of course I do. Knew it the first moment I met you. All smart mouth and attitude and…” his voice trailed off as he got lost in you. You squeezed his hand encouragingly. “I promise I’ll never actually leave you, okay? I’ll always come back for you.”

And he always did. Until the Poppy Adams case. Until he would never come back to you again.

[cuprohastes]

Lunch In Space (Part 4)

There is an old Human tradition. We keep it alive to this day. When things are Very Bad(tm), for example, your shuttle is about to perform a high-velocity Lithobraking Manouver, you invoke the Ancient Words of the Ancestors. Usually "Oh, sh*t".

I, as I'm sure you're now aware, am culturally sensitive, and cultured, so when chunks of Oscar started becoming Free Range and my life support lit up red, and Oscar's little Atrix-face started doing some very worried little colour combos, I took solace in this hallowed and time-honoured tradition and went with "Ru-ROH".

Now you may be thinking, gee, having your life support blow out while flying around the backside of a planet while everyone is too busy to come to pick you up is bad.

I mean, sure. It literally is.

But what doesn't kill you instantly gives you the opportunity for a really slow, horrible death so you can appreciate it so much more.

I took the life support unit off.

Counter-intuitive, but there you go. I jsut clipped one of my lanyards to the bottom attach point and released all the clips.

All the connectors that move all my various essential fluids and gasses are on failsafe connectors. They close automatically because it'd be super dumb if they didn't.

So now I'm just using passive insulation and things are going to get very hot very soon.

I turned the Life Support unit over and found a... Space Squid. 

I mean that's what it looked like. This conical, bullet-shaped shell,  with tiny little thruster vents, and then on the bottom of the cone, a bunch of little tentacles, sensor windows and what looks like miniature tools.

At first, all I saw was the shell so I grabbed it and yanked it out. I screamed jsut the tiniest amount when it wiggled its tentacles at me, but then it folded up and glared at me, and tried to puff away. 

My mighty human fingers of course were more than a match for this.

My mighty human Brain took a few more seconds to catch up because Oscar wasn't loaded with enough coffee for peak human cognition and I did a comical flail and found two more of the little suckers trying to eat through Oscar's skin.

"I Yeet Thee!" I told them and yanked them off and threw them in the direction of away.

The first little guy was with me but still sulking. I think it was out of gas, to be honest.

So that leaves me inside Oscar, who's rapidly becoming a sauna.

Luckily, I am just covered in tools, patches, and other Fix-things stuff so I started checking the life support pack.

Not good. Squiddy had already chewed some quite important stuff - the valves all closed, but now there's no way to re-circulate a lot of the air supply.

A bit about life support. It's not just a couple of bottles of air mix.

There are coolants, thruster gasses that you just top up while you work, water, which is circulated through Oscar's inner lining, the uh, Yellow and Brown lines, and then the Scrubber which is kind of a back-up and also means you can go longer without an umbilical, or without large air tanks. It also prevents the inside of Oscar from filling up with condensation.

So anyway, the thruster tank and the air tank were basically there but unusable.

Two of four of the batteries were cracked. They got isolated by the technical process of just pulling them out. They're not supposed to be dangerous, but why take the risk?

Oscar was a nice toasty 40ºc by the time I got the life support back on and I almost cried when the cooling started to pull out all that heat.

And then I almost sobbed because Oscar told me I had three and a half hours until station rendezvous and approximately two hours and twenty minutes of life support.

So I shut almost everything down. Inspection lights, most of the computing, interior displays, and after one last use, the uh waste processing.

That got me an extra 40 minutes of power. What else?

Well duh.

My power tools have bi-directional charging. I plugged them into my utility ports and hey OK, now I was only 5 minutes shy. OK.

So what else?

The Scrubber - It's running out of... scrub-ability.

There's a thing you can do that you should never, ever do, because it's suicidally stupid and bad. Honestly, I've always wanted to try it.

I turned the temp down past freezing and told the auto-doc to go to Oetzie mode. 

Now, this isn't an official process. It's one of the macros I've developed in bored moments - I submitted it to a couple of trade journals, both of whom told me I was a dangerous lunatic.

So I asked the Most Dangerous Human.

Miranda is a mutant. She burns 4000Kcal a day sitting still. Her IQ is supposedly about double or more than a normal Genius. She hates her life. Literally everyone in her species is kind of sad and bumbling and unable to grasp concepts she finds simple.

She lacks intellectual stimulation, and just craves novelty or anything that might make her feel for a moment, that she can be part of normal life.

When I met her she was running a comic book store. 

She's considered the most dangerous living human because nobody can figure out if she's going to take a nap, then re-write the rules of linguistics, develop an AI that will take over the Human race or stub her toes and decide to eradicate all living things in a Light Millenium.

As someone who's spent an afternoon shovelling food into her and listening to her do the most hilarious routine on why Comic Books should be weaponised, I can tell you that she has no more ill will toward anyone who doesn't write Justice Interplanetary than the common dog owner has for their pupper.

But Stever Aronnomis and Gixy Lurraine? Your days are numbered. Especially after Issue 17.

Anyway, Mir-Mir took about eight hours and re-wrote the Oetzie protocol, and got published in about 19 interdisciplinary publications. She was nice enough to credit me with the original work, and that got me a job and a weekly visit from the People In Black to check that I'm not also a supervillain or plotting to steal people's essential fluids to make Tsin sports drinks.

Anyway.

Oetzie mode gives you near-fatal hypothermia. It's not quite suspended animation but it's close as you can get while maintaining a really good chance of waking back up.

All I had to do was program a really simple little macro that would ping for immediate assistance and flag the file with re-animation instructions.

Already I was getting chilled. My teeth were chattering and I was trying to relax and jsut lket it happen. My littel budd the spac squid was stuill floting her. gabe it one o th deb bat  klklklkkkkkkkkkk

Ow.

Seriously. I was feeling very disoriented. Everything was too bright and I felt very woozy and my jaw ached, but apart from that, the pins and needles, the way all my clothes felt like broken glass and the uncontrollable shivering, I felt surprisingly not dead.

Also not in Oscar.

I was having trouble focusing my eyes, but hearing I could manage.

Two Tsin were discussing eating me.

Voice One: "Well he's dead. I say we just ask. You know Humans - it's either 'no, you can't because we have a whole bunch of traditions and sacred laws that cannot be broken' or 'haha yeah that's what they'd want' and then they ask you if you want some sauce."

Voice Two: "Yeah but... what if the othre humans get upset that we asked? What if they think we killed this one to get the meat?"

Voice one: "They were in an un-powered EVA suit with no air, and the life support running colder than the Caffeteria Freezer. I don't care what stupid plan they had, not even a Human can survive that."

This is it. The moment that I have been living for all these years. You always hope one day you get the chance, and now finally it's my time to shine!

I sat up and said "Do you two mind? I'm trying to get some sleep."

Their horrified screams were like a warm bath. Ahhhh!

[ipleadbritney]

Directors cut: anything you wanna share from “scenes from a social media admin” or “love you, bye” because I’d love to hear about your process writing social media AUs! You make them flow together so well 😊

Thank you for this!! More info on director’s cut here

I’m so incredibly awed by the support my social media aus have gotten. I love writing them, and I’m super happy people love reading them, too. Funnily enough, writing love you, bye and scenes from a social media admin are SUCH different experiences. This is mostly me yapping, btw.

love you, bye

initial concept

fic started from another wip of mine

i really wanted lando to say “i love you” absentmindedly to oscar on the phone then proceeds to panic about it

i was sort of lurking actively on f1twt (i’m not anymore) during this time so i thought hey, why not just do a smau

writing/draft

speedran this in like 2 or 3 hours, which is the SHORTEST i’ve written anything ever (apart from drabbles)

i draft mostly everything in bullet points (like how i’m writing this)

i knew i wanted the following: news article, tweets, emails, tumblr post

the texting part i was unsure of, but i’m happy with how they turned out

i have placeholder names/handles for the accountz then go back to look at my recent bookmarks to see which fics i’ve loved recently. my brain got wiped thinking of handles so i just got inspired by other fics (AND THERE’S SO MUCH TO BE INSPIRED FROM IN LANDOSCAR FICS)

i wrote the beginning, middle, and ending of this in one-go and they mostly stayed the same

structure

in terms of structure, i didn’t follow much for this love you, bye. it’s a fairly short fic

but i did know i wanted the tweets to carry most of the narrative

we see posts chronologically

first, we see the news article for the info-dump, then everything else follows

specific inspiration

here’s my list of fic references

special shoutout to this tweet, which was inspired by nyoomfruit’s love you with the lights on (olivia’s the name of oscar’s kid. in the tweets, she goes from being a brocedes child of divorce to two loving dads)

fun facts

in the fic, the tumblr post is by “time-in-the-tangerine”. i didn’t have a tumblr back then. life imitates art

scenes from a social media admin

initial concept

it was supposed to be a third pov, some random pr dude who suffers bc of landoscar antics

the first part i ever wrote was the to do list

but the idea wouldn’t take flight

i only started grinding for this after seeing how much people loved love you, bye and how much i loved writing it

i knew i wanted it to have something love you, bye didn’t: pictures, more unconventional formatting, MICROSOFT TEAMS CALENDARS???

turned the random pr dude to lando himself

writing

from writing to publishing, it took me 2 months

i wanted to sprinkle some tropes in this one but gave up halfway through (their first meeting being a whole oh-god-there’s-only-one-bed)

i collected a bunch of initial pics i wanted to put, then wrote scenes around them. i mostly wrote around pictures, which is. not optimal. but hey!! finished it, didn’t i?

this took me so long to write because i didn’t know how i wanted their relationship to progress

all i knew was that our perspective is lando’s phone. like. HIS ACTUAL PHONE

structure

i definitely made a more conscious decision to break up different formats in between each other

every few tweets you get something new

unlike love you, bye this one took place across months. i had a rough time conveying time passing. suspension of disbelief is needed, so sorry

specific inspiration

here’s my list of fic references

david malukas got dropped from mclaren so i wrote him being a quadrant athlete. pato's also there as this bundle of bright energy. an ode to "canon" landoscar. because pato and lando really are just. look at their podium shots. golden boys for a reason.

i wanted lando and oscar to pass around that white mclaren hat like they can't just buy another one.

random pictures i think that capture the fic's essence (wag lando during bahrain testing in his beanie and osc merch, probably)

characters

ooooh so for this one, i knew i wanted lando to leave mclaren at the end. he has quadrant, he still has all that passion and creativity. he would always leave, and being with oscar both complicates and simplifies it. also, he's a “conflict of interest”.

also how can he live his full wag-lifestyle if he's under zak brown's payroll????

most of lando and oscar's development happens off-screen, which is deliberate. we see lando's phone, but we're skipping through milestones with him and oscar. they're happening off-screen, off-phone. trust.

imagining oscar falling in love with a media staff is. something. it all hinges on that first meeting, that late-night conversation. daniel and him have a wildly different dynamic from him and lando (“canon”), and i think talking with someone young and driven is good for oscar's soul.

In conclusion, I don't write SMAUs. The demons write SMAUs through me. I think of one good scene then write everything else around them. In love you, bye, it's the phone call that triggers everything else. In scenes from a social media admin, it's the pictures.

I love args (in theory, I rarely follow along with any of them because I get overwhelmed) so I love playing around with unconventional formats. More often than not, I CUT content from my drafts. Less explaining, more theorizing. I look at smaus as snapshots, where most of the story happens outside the readers’ reach. Part of it is laziness, though. Formatting shaves years off of my life.

Thank you for letting me yap through the director's cut. If any of you have any more specific questions about my smaus or fics, the ask box is open 😉

[booktomoviebrawl]

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

A Wrinkle in Time:

removed characters (like sandy and dennys for some reason???) and entire scenes (auntie beast is literally mentioned as a throwaway line while tessering instead of them going there after camasotz) also this may be just me but i think charles wallace also being black wouldve brought more to the beginning considering racial discrimination in schools but its not a movie ruiner

it wasnt very faithful to the book. i didnt hate the casting but the acting wasn't great in a way that felt like bad directing. the best way i can put it is it felt less like an adaptation for the book to me and more like a bland Disney Live Acton Sequel. this book series was my favorite as a kid and the movie was decided unmagical. it's hard to state how bad the movie is cuz it was just deeply bland :/

don't like it

How to Train Your Dragon:

It's very very different from the book. Often the only similarity between book and movie characters is that they have the same name, the plot is completely different, important characters were removed entirely etc. ALSO Toothless' whole thing in the books is being small wimpy and pathetic.

Like you said, the movie itself isn't bad! It just takes a complete left turn and changes a bunch of things. Toothless is supposed to be awkward and tiny! He shouldn't have teeth! Fishlegs is asthmatic! Technically, Astrid doesn't exist! Idk I just quite like the books lol

I’m doing bullet points bc I remember mainly details

-turned fishlegs (an actual twig) into a fat kid because American audiences? That was the thing they (he and Hiccup) had in common

-I miss Camikaze. I don’t mind Astrid I just wish we had her

-the whole Dragonese thing. That could have been really cool to translate but they didn’t

-Alvin! As a kid I hated him sm but he was a good villian! Also the hook hand could’ve been cool

-toothless’ retractable teeth. Might have been in the movie but not enough

-there were no banishments or other lands in the movies and that’s just wasted material

I love the movies btw I just love the books just a little more. They also handed the ending better imo

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

RoR: Issues with Kyoshi's supposed fate (her power and purpose)

Spoilers for the Roku Novel....obviously (as well as Kyoshi's novels, ATLA/LoK show and comic will be touched on. Lightly touches on Yangchen in her novels but not the plot). TT0TT

I have a lot of thoughts on Kyoshi's fate, but instead of one big post, I'm just going to do a bunch of smaller ones that tie into different aspects of it.

This one involves her power narrative and purpose.

Trigger warning under the cut as well (under the cut cause of possible spoilers)

TW: Suicide/Suicide mention

Ok so basically the novel wants us to be like "She went so far off the deep end, she stopped valuing human life and just found it easier to kill people! But then looked within and realized her time had come and possibly just let herself die. uwu"

So many issues, holy shit. Like....so many things that DON'T add up. It doesn't help that we literally don't go into how the world is shaped by her 230 years, not even how Roku is effected by it! And this doesn't even consider the darn "Every Avatar is made right for that era" spiel.

Now, I'm not against Kyoshi realizing her time has come for that era. Or if she always planned to self exit (both kill herself and just literally see herself out the gd door cause damn did she just....bounce! She really left us guessing TT0TT) because of one reason or another.

But I don't like how it was framed in this story (so far, cause I barely wanna give RR the benefit of the doubt >_>). Mostly cause I think we could've gone about her wanting to leave without vilifying her. I think it's more tragic if she just..... it was just too painful to live. Like she could've kept going, but she didn't want to because she missed all that she had lost.

And the vilifying is less of me being like 'My character can do no wrong!" and more "This doesn't add up with our perception of her later down the road, and it's not like a part of her legacy was hidden like Yangchen's was." Kyoshi is more up front than sweet scheme Yangchen (and to YC credit she schemed for a good damn reason). And it's not like she had a Kuruk to take the damn bullets for her. Kyoshi stood on her business. She never denied or diminished what she did, accident or on purpose. It was one of the few character traits we got out of that Avatar in the original ATLA. What we see is pretty much what we get.

But while the suicide route is viable. I really think we could've just....gone with a bigger hero moment. Maybe she dies by the hand of a spirit? Possibly protecting someone. I feel like that utilizes her extreme godly power to a much better use for the 1) the narrative and 2) "every avatar is made right for that era" mentality.

Cause......let's look at point 2

Yangchen: Was a schemer who stopped other schemey schemes from scheming. Her gentle and forgiving nature giving her a peaceful vibe. And all that accumulated to her navigating the world to peace. She brought balance to an imbalanced human world. The world needed someone who could navigate people into peace.

Kuruk: Was a powerful bending prodigy and amazing hunter. He used those skills to defend the human world against spirits that Yangchen pissed off. The world needed someone who could fight those spirits.

Kyoshi: Because Kuruk had to ignore the human world, corruption and crime became rampant. Kyoshi was born at the lowest rung so she could understand and fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves. She stayed alive for 230 years. We don't really know all the progress she made tho (we do know she failed in some regard, such as changing the Earth Kingdom's views on LGBT, or the fact there is apparently some daofei still hanging around 3 years before her death), but apparently she did A LOT of good. She accumulated a lot of power and.....we don't know what she did with it.

Roku: We're ignoring you :) (partially we don't really.....know a lot of his accomplishments that maintained peace, only really his mistakes, rather than me being a hater. We know he more or less kept the peace tho)

Aang: Ran away right before a war started, securing his people's culture to at least remain alive with/within him. Finished the 100 year war with a way of avoiding having to kill (which kept his culture's values alive). Giving the world a form of hope and peace amongst all the death and destruction.

Korra: A powerful fighter put through the ringer over and over and over. Constantly showing the world that it still needs an Avatar. The world is going through intense constant change, and she was there to help guide it through each change in its rapid current.

Taking what we broke down above and going back to point 1 with the "narrative," Kyoshi just kinda.....dies. There's still stuff she wasn't able to fully see through to the end. She probably COULD'VE but she doesn't, she dies. And her death is a mystery on top of that.

Then there's the fact she accumulated SO MUCH power and.....what was the point of it? Was it just in service for the Avatar state? (I thought the creators chose to make "Prime Raava" to be more powerful and 10,000 years worth of lives???? so what's the point there)? Why make her supposedly so freaking powerful if you aren't going to do anything with it?

I dunno, if she was going to become THAT powerful, it feels like it's building up to something. Someone who needed to suffer for 230 years, get that strong. I really think if they wanted to claim "yeah she got really powerful" then it should be in service of something. She sacrifices herself to defeat a strong spirit. Either dies in combat along with it, or, upon seeing the threat is gone finally let's go because she realizes her time had come (aka she realized that was the last duty she needed to perform as the Avatar).

It's the only thing that makes sense with what we are given. Between the time delay, the lack of knowledge, her having so much power. And the fact the last time an Avatar went AWOL (aka Kuruk) that wasn't because of an injury (aka Korra).....it was because of spirits. Which loops back around to part 2, Kyoshi was the Avatar that generation(s) needed, because it built up to that. The world needed someone resilient to last 230, gain power, and then protect the world from devastation! (....to unite all people within our nation-ahem sorry sorry got distracted >_> still fitting words jkldsajflk;j)

I dunno, maybe I'm too hung up on her being uber powerful. It just feels weird that she may have exceeded past Avatars by a lot and then.....do nothing with that. If they didn't make it feel like she'd basically obtained godhood, that would be one thing....but that's not what they did so. TT0TT

[astrowhump]

Junior #2

TW: restraints, aftermath of drugging, threats, objectification, torture devices (this chapter’s mostly talk and no action tbh)

[previous chapter]

“Rise and shine, lovely.”

Noah grunts, his head feels as if it was run over by a car time and time again. He tries to gather his memory, his thoughts scattered and intangible; then they start rushing to his brain in slides, not in chronological order, but he grasps a sense of where he is and then everything falls into place—

“YOU FUCKING-“

“Sh sh sh shhhh.” His captor wraps a piece of cloth around his mouth, it slides onto his tongue and between his teeth as he tightens it behind his head.

“I’d watch that mouth if I were you, sugar” he coos in his ear.

He tries to use his hands, and that’s when he notices his position; his arms hang above his head, restrained by cufflinks that connect to the ceiling. He must’ve been left there for quite a while, his arms feel devoid of sensation.

He knows he can only make muffled noises through the gag, and what would be the point of that? He stops making a noise alltogether; instead, his eyes - filled with disgust and hatred- stare into those of the smug bastard, who only smirks back, clearly looking at him from a position of power.

“You’re quite the heavy sleeper…Noah,” He drags out his name on purpose, emphasising that he knows his identity even though Noah never introduced himself…to either of them. He remembers now, there were two of them, a…Junior, where did that one go?

His eyes wander around in search of the boy, but other – more interesting – objects catch his attention. He’s chained to the ceiling right in the middle of what looks like a dungeon. He sees a wall covered with a collection of whips -various models, shapes and designs- in an orderly arrangement. The wall across from him is where the door is, heavy-looking metal, and a tad over-polished, especially for a basement.

The wall to his left is what makes his bones shiver inside his body. There’s a wooden board attached to the wall with multiple leather straps on it; he can guess what each one’s supposed to restrain by the placement of them – there’s one for the neck, four for the arms and four for the legs- but the most gruesome part of that wall isn’t the vertical wooden bed, not even the medeival piercing handcuffs and worn-out pliers that hang next to it; It’s the blood that paints almost every inch of the cement in crimson. He can spot different patterns from different types of slashes, some consistent with long shallow blows of something light-weight and some with slow and deep cuts of a blade.

The whole room looks like a serial killer’s bullet journal; everything is neatly positioned and has its own place, and some of the items look purely aesthetic. Then there’s the wall of memoir, with the most disgusting traces left of his victims; the only part of the room that lacks structure.

“I can see you’re blown away by the decoration. Took me a while to design the whole place…with a personal touch.”

‘Your decoration makes me sick and you’re fucked in the head’ is what Noah wants to say, however, he can only frown, as he doesn’t have many muscles free to communicate; but he makes sure his facial expression gives his captor a hint of his thoughts.

“I try to be humble about it, but I can’t lie, I really am proud of how it turned out.”

He giggles as he speaks, like an excited little girl ranting about her new dollhouse.

“I imagine you have a bunch of questions, most of them do.”

Noah rolls his eyes in their sockets so hard he could see inside his brain. It doesn’t take a psychic to realize anyone in his position would have questions, and a rising urge to skin the man alive.

His captor doesn’t seem pleased. He grips the boy’s jaw, staring through his eyes and straight into his soul.

“oh I am gonna have so much fun breaking that attitude out of you…”

He lets go of the grip, sliding the gag out of his mouth as he retracts his hand. Every cell in Noah’s body tells him to spit on his face, to curse and scream and chew on the asshole’s neck. He takes a deep breath in, and decides not to waste the chance he’s been given; the guy looks too mentally unstable, he’d rather not try his patience.

“Who are you?” he asks first. Speaking hurts his dry throat.

“I was preparing for a scream, but I guess you knew better…”

His prisoner doesn’t react, still waiting on his answer.

“I’m Alexander, but you’ll refer to me as Sir. I’ll be taking care of you…for as long as you last.”

‘you’re doing one hell of a job taking care of me’ Noah barely swallows down.

“Why did you capture me? Why am I hanging from the ceiling like a slaughtered cow?” he couldn’t help the bitter comment, the thought was sitting heavy on his tongue, waiting to be spat out. Alex doesn’t seem to mind.

“Because I was bored, Junior’s hardly any entertainment anymore.” He answers honestly; not like honesty makes the sick content of what he says any better.

“why- what are you planning to do to me?” The bitterness in Noah’s voice is now replaced by worry. He gets visibly nervous and he can’t help as it leaks into his words.

“I’m gonna play with you, sugar. I’ll mold your mind, body and soul into submission and I’ll have my fun doing that. When you lose your…spark, you’ll be discarded and I’ll take on a new project. Simple as that.”

Something about that sentence, being referred to as a new project -a breakable object- makes Noah’s gut churn. He tries his damned hardest to stop his jaw from trembling and tears from falling. False hope, as Alexander notices the glint of tears in his eyes and his lips open to a faux-sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay to be scared, I would be too.”

He catches a tear that falls astray from his boy’s eyes with his knuckles.

“Last question?”

“w-w-why me?” He wants to slap himself across the face for the embarrassing quiver in his voice. The man seems to think about that one for a second before answering blandly.

“…You were at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and you made all the wrong choices.”

It can’t just be that, he can’t just end up in a horror movie because he decided to help out a person in need. He can’t just be randomly dragged into a torture chamber when he did nothing to deserve it. It’s unfair. He shouldn’t be here…but he is, and there’s not a single limb in his body he can move to protest. He no longer tries to gulp down his sobs.

“Enough chit chat for now, sweetheart. I’ll let you settle in for today, we’ll start the fun tomorrow. “

The gag gets shoved into his mouth again and the man leaves him there to weep, bound and truly miserable.

[next chapter]

I’m tagging people who reblogged the first chapter here, please tell me if you want on or off the taglist @ladygwennn @darkthingshappen @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @thelazywitchphotographer @horribleauthortm @angelwhump

[srasdoesthings]

[MONDAY 5:05 PM] - Wonder Stage, Phoenix Wonderland :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

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“Please!” A chipper voice pleads with the rest of her troupe mates. Emu bounces from where she balances herself on one of Wonder stage’s seats “It’s a nice story! And I really, really wanna see Nene-chan in a mermaid costume again…” 

Tsukasa mutters to himself: “That’s your reasoning..?” before sighing. It wasn’t a bad idea, all things considered. While darker than the shows they had done, it wasn’t too dark that parents would be opposed to showing it to kids. An interesting flip to a story known and loved by people. 

With Rui’s writing magic, they would no doubt make the original’s themes of growing up and seeing the truth of the world palatable for kids to be taken along for the ride while giving their older audiences a bittersweet tale. 

--Tsukasa had toyed with the idea of doing a more serious and emotional play recently; this could be a good opportunity to dip his toes into this sort of play.--

Though, he didn't want to let that sort of selfish reasoning sway his resolve. As the leader of a troupe, he needs to see to it that everyone is pleased. “It might work. What’re your thoughts? Rui, Nene.”

“I’m fine with it.” Nene’s focus stays on her game, only the slightest glance to the other members before flicking back to the screen. “You did say you wanted to make the new show cooler than others. Up the production and all that.”

“Considering the stunts we’ll have to perform in the story, I've no doubt it’ll be a bigger production that can still be within our means.” Rui smiles from where he’d been jotting ideas. Tsukasa can faintly see a few bullet points already, some circled and some crushed out, others underlined and others annotated. Their genius director was hooked too. The warmth of his smiles changes to that of mischief as he meets Tsukasa’s eyes. “Of course, that’s if Tsukasa-kun is willing to flung around in the air the whole show.”

“FLUNG AROUND!?”

“Duh,” Nene finally looks up properly, a sound of victory ringing from her phone. “You’re obviously going to play Peter. And what does Peter do the whole time?” Mockingly, he slows her words, almost as if explaining to a child. 

“That's…true…”

Emu, the ever cheerful soul, attacks Tsukasa with a hug, exclaiming out: “It’s okay, Tsukasa-kun! I’m gonna be the fairy, so we’ll fly around together!‘

“And if we fall?”

Her grin grows brighter and she grabs his hands, lovingly. “Then we fall together!”

Tsukasa sighs again, Emu’s silliness and cheer infects him and he can’t help but smile too, leaning into the smiling girl. “I suppose we will.”

“Now, now,” Rui steps in, a pleasing smile on his face. He holds the two close, draping his arms around them. “No one will be falling, I can assure you of that. Don’t you trust me?” Despite his resolved smile, Tsukasa can see the worry in Rui’s stance and he flashes him a smile back.

“Of course! We’re in the best of hands. Thank you, Rui.”

“Anything else we have to add?” Nene moves closer to the group, phone tucked into her pocket and shuffles beside Rui, joining the odd warmth pile they’ve made and leaning her weight on his shoulders. “Since Mr.World Star here wants a hand at more heartfelt shows, then we have to pay attention to stuff like Peter and Hook’s backstory. Ugh, there’s gonna have to be a bunch of things we’re gonna have to pace out…”

Rui nods “Mhm. And we’ll have to figure out how to convey a good chunk of the show with just the four of us.‘

“I can ask the mascots to be background characters!” Emu volunteers, standing up to jump around in excitement, waving around in joy. “Like in the epic pirate fight scene! And the Epic pirate bombing! It’ll be so wonderhoy to have everyone play together!”

“You sure?” It would be  amazing, and it would remove the worry of stretching everyone too thin, but would that be asking too much? “We don’t want to make your brothers-”

“Boo, I’ll just convince them!” Emu grins. She places both hands on Tsukasa’s cheeks, holding to his face with the warmest of smiles. “It’s to make our most wonderhoy of wonderhoy shows after all! And I’m sure we can make it the bestest if we give it a try. So I’ll put my all into convincing them, and making the stages and props and stuff!”

“Ah, that reminds me. Roles.”

Nene shifts, wrapping her arms around Tsukasa’s shoulders and leaning her head on his.“Aren’t they obvious?”

“Yes, but not just stage roles. Our production roles.” Rui Clarifies. “What would they be?”

“I can take care of costumes and choreography.” Tsukasa volunteers. “Since Emu is going to be busy with stage and more business side of things.”

“Ehhh, are you sure? Emu can handle it!” 

“No no, it’s fine.” He places a hand on Emu’s own, a smile slipping on his face. “After All, you’ll be in charge of making the stage as magical as it could ever be. And that’s a big job, right?”

“Mmm, true true.” She turns to Nene, grinning. “And Nene-chan will be there to help me, right?!”

The girl smiles, head on Rui’s shoulder. “Of course. I’ll do my best. Oh and Rui, I’ll work on the script, just pass me an outline. You’ll need to focus on the rigs.”

Rui smiles, “thank you, Nene.” He stands. “Let’s make this show amazing, everyone.”

Tsukasa grins. “Wonderhoy?”

They all smile and cheer: “Wonderhoy!”

• • •

The Portrait of Pirate F

Roles:

Tsukasa Tenma…Peter Pan (Choreographer, Costumer)

Emu Ootori…Tinkerbell ( Set Director, Producer)

Rui Kamishiro… Captain Hook (Stage Director, Machine rigger)

Nene Kusanagi… Mermaid (Assistant Director, Scriptwriter, Producer)