#this was really fun !! had it on the backburner for a while and just recently picked it back up

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

it's a transdermal celebration !!

i love mashing my interests together

redraw of the quebec by ween album cover !! go listen to it it's really good please and thankyou

[not-krys]

[Repost] Deep in Thought - Abby & Mozart

Part of this set of WIP Wednesdays!

It's only recently occurred to me that Abby and Mozart are sort of birthday siblings (her's is the 24th of January, while Mozart's is the 27th), so in celebration of this realization, I wanted to write a little something for the two of them. Fun fact! Before deciding to want to make her an artist, for her initial concept, I had Abby be a singer instead, inspired by a threesome story in-game with Mozart and Jean. The idea fell through in the end, but I like to keep the Abby is a singer on the backburner of ideas for her and also why she and Mozart somewhat get along, even if it might just be in the background.

Raw, unedited writing down below. Abby is a lil self-deprecating as she has little confidence in herself and her thoughts will reflect that. Also my first time writing Mozart, so his character might be little off. I also copy-pasted the lyrics to the song Abby sings from a lyrics website and the song is in German, which is another language I don't speak, but they are available to look up if you want.

-----

He was behind me. He was behind me again! The silence from the music room should have been my tip that something was up, but I thought he'd given up by now!

"You." His cold voice startled me, my hands squeezing the poor broom handle to the point of choking, it felt like.

Slowly, very slowly, I turned around to face Mozart, his arms crossed and his elegant brows furrowed. I think even his mole was judging me with the way he was staring.

"Y-yes?" Why did my voice have to come out like that!?

"Music room. Now."

What have I done to deserve this!?

My shoulders shook, feebly holding up my broom taller.

"I-I have chores to-"

"Do them later." Mozart was firm! "Tell Sebastian that I needed you for something."

"Y-yes, sir." I said meekly.

Mozart turned on his heel and headed back into the music room. I followed behind him, trying to keep my movements as quiet as I could. He's told me before that he thought I was loud, and, not wanting to irritate him further, I did my best to be silent. It was easy on the carpeted floor of the hallway, but marble floor of the music room, with no rugs to muffle sound? I felt exposed in a different sort of way, the green walls even feeling intimidating.

Mozart sat at the piano bench, an elegant piece made of white wood and gold accents, flipping out his coat tails to sit more comfortably.

"Leave your broom by the door."

I nodded, setting my once close companion against the door's frame, cradling it with my hands.

"Come closer."

I shuffled closer to the piano, my steps unbearably loud in this space. Was my heart as loud in this room as it was in my ears, I wondered. It wouldn't be surprising if Mozart said I was being loud again and it was my own racing heart he was hearing.

"You were singing the other day while you were cleaning in the room next door to the music room."

He could hear that!?

"S-sorry if I disturbed-"

"It was a song I wrote. Long ago."

His fingers glided gracefully across the keys, playing a familiar melody.

"Y-yes. An Chloë. You wrote it inspired by the poem, right?"

"Correct." He continued to play, seeming to get lost in thought. "Where did you learn it?"

"My auntie." I started, but corrected myself. "Well, one of her previous girlfriends taught it to me when I was young. She always sang it beautifully and I wanted to learn it too, despite knowing no German then."

She was nice, from what I remember of her, Auntie's German girlfriend. Father didn't like her and often got into arguments with Auntie over her. I was really young at the time, so I don't remember exactly what became of her, but I didn't see her after a time and I remembered missing her when she went away.

"Sing it again."

"E-excuse me?!" Say what now?

"Sing it." He repeated, starting the melody over as if it was looping, it was that smooth of a transition.

"I-"

He glanced back my way, as if to say he's not repeating it a third time.

With a brief pause in the music to signal my cue, I took a breath and closed my eyes, praying that whatever came out didn't sound like a screeching cat.

"Wenn die Lieb' aus deinen blauen, Hellen, offnen Augen sieht…"

It was as if a spell was taking over me, remembering a simpler time with Auntie and her German girlfriend at the time. I felt calmer. I know I was butchering the German pronunciation, horribly so, I'm sure. Mozart didn't stop playing though, nor did he say anything to correct me. I tapped my fingers against my leg to keep time, to keep from intruding on the song any more than I already was.

When the song ended, the room was deathly silent.

Mozart, for the first time I've seen him doing it, closed the lid across the keys and stood up.

"Ugh, noisy."

I froze and bit my lip. He was the one who asked (okay, he demanded!) that I come with him here, so  what was the point in-

Then, I heard it.

Applause.

One set of hands at first, then two, three, four more. The more clapping I heard, the redder my cheeks became.

"You're all lurking." Mozart said, irritated. "Move."

I caught eyes with Le Comte standing in the doorway, along with Napoleon, Vincent, Theo, Arthur, Issac, Dazai, and Sebastian all gathered behind him. Le Comte was the last to stop his clapping.

"My, what a lovely performance." He said, his entrance allowing the others to come into the music room as well. I could see the ends of Leonardo's overcoat sleeves sitting just off of the door, while Jean was leaning against the far window with his arms crossed in the hallway.

"You did well, Nunuche." Napoleon squeezed my shoulder, smiling proudly.

"Well, who knew our little dove could sing like that?" Arthur tapped my other shoulder while Theo ruffled my hair.

With all of the compliments I was receiving, my desire to crawl into a pit and hide for eternity grew. Mozart huffed as he stood at the doorway.

"Should have shut the door." he grumbled as we walked down the hallway, kicking Leonardo's coat sleeve out of his way.

[etherealnoir]

I know the creator is Black and I’m assuming they’re lots of Black women in the writers room so I know the writing for Gabi is intentional but sometimes she comes off very ‘strong black woman’??? Like maybe it’s just me but I hated that from the jump kid!Gabi was shown to have it together even while she was cowering under Sir—her being taken in ep 11 was the first I felt the depth of her betrayal and terror. I know by the time she show starts it’s been a year but she’s still a kid and it’s still a horrific situation. They’re this like idek lax feel about all of it? Like she’s just always ready to fight and it’s a lot. With adult!Gabi I get it because the chains and basement give her an illusion of power but idk I want to see more complexity and I’m not getting that. I think Shanola is acting according to direction but I wish they’d actually let her be a mess and break down (like in episode 4 or 5?) and just not be so stoic all the time. It’s a horrifying situation! I would be fucked up for life. But it’s like Gabi just… goes on. Granted there is a hostage in her basement but still lol. All the recent HTGAWM asks reminded that for the most part Annalise Keating really was it because for all that shows silliness, they didn’t falter on writing her as a complex, multifaceted Black woman.

Apparently the person who created this also created the show All-American. I've never really seen it, but I just remember acknowledging once that all of the female leads were light skinned/mixed, and very easy to confuse with one another. I thought that was weird.

All of that aside, I don't think I can really place the blame on her, because the episodes she wrote were some of the strongest of the series ("Pilot" and "Missing While Sinning" with the missing sex worker).

Maybe the writers room has a very general idea of what Gabi's character is like (headstrong, compassionate, determined, a leader) and basic human qualities get overlooked in an effort to keep her character consistent. Even with Annalise...she was intense, very cold sometimes. But God, even Anna Mae told a joke sometimes. She was sarcastic and funny as hell when she wanted to be. She had time to be intimate with people and have fun.

I know Gabi is very focused on her career. But we don't need another "Strong Black Woman TM" who puts her interpersonal relationships and sense of humor on the backburner. Especially when she's currently going through a crisis. I think the only person we ever really see her slow down and talk to quietly is Margaret.

Side note, the writers really love Margaret. I also really love Margaret. But I kind of wish Gabi got the same level of softness in the narrative.

[venomousraga]

HELLO i just wanted to say that i love all your flysabeau fics...you captured flynn's gentleness so well I COULD NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT THINKING ABOUT IT. you cooked so well i fear you fed us 2024 smt iv fans... not sure if you would ever continue making flynn x isabeau content anymore but your fics will always have a special place in my heart 🥹

WBWBHWUHWWHBWBWU THANK U SO MUCH FOR SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE???? I SAW THIS POP UP WHILE I WAS AT WORK AND WANTED TO SCREAM????????

it means so much to me to hear that people still read and enjoy my smtiv/flysabeau fics.......... i think there's a part of brain that'll always be dedicated to thinking abt them in the backburners of my mind LOL. it especially makes me really happy to hear that u enjoyed my characterization of flynn so much!!!!! that's something i honestly put a ton of thought into when i first started writing abt those two, for flynn and for isabeau. it's one of the things that made them so fun to write abt for me. c':

i haven't had much energy to work on any of my creative ventures recently, unfortunately, so i can't say for sure rn whether or not i'll come back to writing smtiv stuff in the near future. BUT i know i have some old WIP fics that i started forever ago and always had a persistent urge to go back to one of these days, so who knows!

[lovebvni]

hi abyss!! as someone who really likes scrolling through your account and who sees the occasional dream anon in your inbox, I got the urge to pitch in. generally I prefer to keep my shifting/spiritual journey to myself, but suddenly got the urge to tell you about my own dreams I've had in regards to it. I thought you may enjoy this! Firstly, I apologize for sending an essay in your inbox, I just have a lot to say.

So for starters, I've had shifting-related dreams before, mainly to oddly positive ends. Aside from my mind conjuring up the individuals and my appearances from other places, I've had incidents where I talk to people in my dreams about shifting. Unlike a lot of people who always seem to run into very prominent issues here, the dream individuals are always oddly receptive and genuinely listen to me. I remember one time I said to a group as a part of a conversation "well, so what if it's not 'real?' all that means is you're meditating, practicing mindfulness, and you're not hurting yourself or anyone." You know, something along the lines to that, and all the dream characters reacted very positively. This dream stands out to me compared to others as I felt some odd sense of movement within me afterwards when I woke up.

Most recently, last night as of me sending me this message, a woman suddenly appeared to me in the midst of the usual course of my usually very vivid dreams. She sort of drifted a bit of the ways off the ground and wore a white, flowing dress that reminded me of ocean waves and sea foam, and her hair was dark and wavy that seemed to flow like water in the air. In her presence I could hear ocean waves (in the dream of course), and she told me I was getting SO CLOSE to achieving a shift. She was incredibly sincere, gentle, encouraging, and I got the impression I needed to stay dedicated with my new routine AND focus on a previously secondary/on-the-backburner dr that involved an oceanic setting, and I'll be able to do this

The way this woman appeared is a little significant to me. Funnily enough, I recently received a tarot reading that suggested a good first shift for me would be something oceanic (which feels way more in tune with what my intuition has been telling me, despite focusing on something else completely for little over a year). Not only that, my most unexplainable shifting-related incidents in the past over the course of my journey have involved hearing water of some kind (namely underwater noises, running water, rain when it wasn't raining.) And finally, the way her presence felt to me reminded me of all the times I've been near the ocean and the associated feelings I have about it. I know people are genuinely afraid of the ocean for many rightful reasons, but it's always been a major source of comfort for me ever since I was little. She embodied that.

Ultimately, I woke up feeling like I can focus on the completely unrelated dr I have been for a while and will still shift in time, sure, but focusing on what my intuition is telling me, with this more oceanic-based dr, will lead it to happening sooner. And that it feels like this is where I need to guide my focus. I do have some more thoughts too on the matter, positively framed of course, but this is getting long as is and I know you'll have some thoughts too! Thank you for reading this essay, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

OMG HIII ANON!! IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS 😭😭 i’ve been procrastinating so much AUGH!!!

and it’s totally okay!! i don’t mind long blogs or ask. if anything they’re really fun to me! i like reading things i’m interested in, and dreams and dream interpretations is one of them <3

anyways, i had a few thoughts about this. the most prominent one is about the woman and the ocean. now, i don’t know if you’re into deity work or anything like that, but this is a CLEAR CLEAR sign of aphrodite (oceans, sea foam, a white dress) she may be telling you to have a routine, a flow, and a way to do things. like how the sea always moves up onto the sand. the water may not reach the rocks right now, but eventually — with the movement of the moon, the changing phases, the tide rises and falls.

the second thing that stands out is this part — “I remember one time I said to a group as a part of a conversation "well, so what if it's not 'real?' all that means is you're meditating, practicing mindfulness, and you're not hurting yourself or anyone." You know, something along the lines to that, and all the dream characters reacted very positively. This dream stands out to me compared to others as I felt some odd sense of movement within me afterwards when I woke up.”

i feel like that’s almost rationalizing your fears — making them understandable, you know? like… you’re almost thinking that shifting isn’t real, but there is some truth to it.

i understand that! like i don’t believe everything the christian bible says, but i do believe there is some truth to it.

for understanding, you don’t need everything in a book for you to read. you can make inquiries and add your know knowledge and understanding to it. so what this person said in the dream saying shifting isn’t “real” could be your current understanding then. i feel like it’s almost telling you to deepen your knowledge? do your own research and ask your own questions, gain your own knowledge. and this knowledge doesn’t have to be on the act itself — it could be about your drs!

but, with one of your final comments, i believe some sort of beach/inter dimensional resting place dr would be a good place for you. i also feel the need to say Aphrodite may be reaching out!!

i hope this helps, anon!!! <3 i hope to hear from you again OR even just get the feeling ur doing well <3 sending positive energyyy!!

[cdelphiki]

1, 16

Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?

Oooh, gosh, that's actually difficult. I wouldn't want to actually redo anything, because that's a lot of work and I feel like if I've already done it, why would I want to do it over? Haha. But if I absolutely had to rewrite something, I'd probably rewrite Cracked Foundation. Just to clean it up a bit and match the style more to my current style. I don't think there's really any dialogue I dislike, though. 🤷🏼‍♀️

16. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

Okay, hm. This one is hard because I have a lot of fics on the backburner (Yes, that I haven't even published yet!!!!) that I don't feel like fit into the category of "didn't happen." They're more "haven't happened yet" ya know? I guess I could say I almost wrote a Peter Parker & Tony Stark fic like four years ago, and I know for a fact that won't ever actually happens. It was like a, the-avengers-meet-Peter-but-think-he's-an-intruder-at-first fic because those are super fun.

Recently I outlined a fic for The House in the Cerulean Sea which I was super excited about, but the whole thing just made me uneasy and I set it aside. Dunno if I'll ever actually write it. I still have a hard time with the concept of the 'anti-Christ' being used in fiction in that manner, and the story revolved around Lucy. I don't want to contribute to humanizing and, I don't know how to put it. Like, making the anti-Christ feel like something good, you know? And while my story was actually revolving entirely around the fact that Lucy is not actually the anti-Christ, that was just a cruel term humans put on him because of his powers, I felt i was going too far into religion for the story, and I don't typically write Christian fiction. Maybe one day I will write it, or maybe I'll strip it and make it an original book in that category. Who knows. But I know for now it likely won't happen anytime soon.

[iturbide]

I love how this whole chain went from:

grab your mini pitchforks -> grab the popcorn

really fast. Anywho, other than that jazz, how are you doing overall?

I will gladly take popcorn over pitchforks any day (the pitchforks are their own brand of entertainment, but the popcorn is always fun)

Other than that I'm doing okay, though! Still really excited that the Lodestar.sys zine is out (I still think my piece in there is one of the best things I've ever written), but besides that most of my energy is spent keeping track of kittens so other things have been put on the backburner:

I mean. Look at these little hellions.

don't let Hubert's murderous look fool you, Ferdinand is equally naughty

With them in mind, my bookbinding experiments have been put on the backburner for a while; I'm about halfway through my test copy of Crown of Shadows, though -- the signatures are all folded and stitched, the textblock has been sanded, the endpapers are attached (though I want to give the whole thing a final sanding to get things nice and even), and the covers have been cut to size -- and I think it's coming together really nicely so far! I'm thinking about kicking into it again this weekend, since I'd like to get a few copies of Proof of Life together to use as a testing ground for some cover stuff I want to play with before going all-out on the hardcover.

After Crown of Shadows (which I might make another copy or two of, just to keep trying my hand at the flat back book format, we'll see) I'd really like to do a copy of Heart of the Moon with a rounded back, since that one's so much bigger: Crown of Shadows clocks in around 41.5k words and I managed to fit it into 6 signatures (a little big for a flat back, but still reasonably in range for it), while Heart of the Moon sits at 60k and looks like it'll need 11 signatures total, making it a good choice for experimenting with rounding.

(Once I have a little more experience with different formats under my belt, I'd really like to start binding more of my favorite fics and trying to get in touch with the authors to gift them copies of their works; I'm starting with mine since they're just for me, so it's fine if they go sidways...though I guess if anyone would want a hard copy of something I've written, let me know?)

Aside from there, I've been thinking about picking up a video game again but haven't done it yet (again, in part because of kittens who are Too Interested in the TV sometimes). Choices are between Legends Arceus again since I still want a shiny Hisuian Zorua or two, Horizon: Zero Dawn since I picked that one up a while ago and still haven't finished out the damn intro, the latest God of War because it's all Norse mythology and I'm predictable, or Three Houses to finish out that Azure Moon playthrough and go back to Claude because I love and miss him...but I haven't committed.

Instead I've just been playing stuff in the background and occasionally paying attention. I had a craving for Retro Anime recently and picked up Detective Conan again (I love this comedy murder show but it messes me up sometimes, there are some heavy episodes). Also finished Spy x Family and I'm sobbing I love them and October can't get here soon enough because then I get both the second half of Spy x Family's first season and Season 3 of Mob Psycho 100 which I am so stoked for you have no idea. And lucky for me, Nona the Ninth comes out in September, which should tide me over until the new anime I yearn for arrives.

Writing has been stalled basically since the start of the year and continues as such. I'm still stuck with just chapter 7 of last year's Chrobin Week to finish, and I have a bunch of other ideas that I'd like to start exploring, both for Awakening and Three Houses (since I'm desperately missing Claude), as well as an original piece that I've been rolling around for years that's come back to the forefront recently. We'll see what if anything comes out of any of that, but it might just end up being a sparse year on writing.

Anyway yes that's my long-winded status update ramble

[lizhly-writes]

!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!! ORV IS FRIDAY ADKS!!!

What's your favorite OrV arc, and what au/wip do you have on your mind for orv??

IT IS VERY LATE AND NO LONGER FRIDAY SORRY but here i am regardless!

hmmm, my favorite orv arc... hard to say! again, i haven't actually seen canon in a while, so i may be mixing things up, but I think I'd put it at either the dark castle arc or epilogue! dark castle has 1) the affection reader 2) that classic "your mother doesn't like me" line 3) drama with lsk 4) a sacrifice that really seems to stick, with SO MUCH DRAMA. ALL OF THE DRAMA. epilogue has ANOTHER SACRIFICE, and the world of zero and just, in general, ties up so many loose ends that you didn't really think were loose ends (or at least i didn't, i'm kinda unobservant lol).

as for orv aus i am currently rotating several in my mind, these are the ones i've sort of put on top priority (whether i'm actually working on them is another thing entirely.)

complex philosophical concept of self love: haha, this thing. i GOTTA FINISH THIS. i am OBLIGATED to finish this, there is art out there that will never make sense if i never get to the scenes they depict. the problem is that i did not realize how very alien this kind of story was to how i usually write until i was too deep in to back out.

empty sky:

look. one day, i ask for prompts on orvcord, like i do, in an attempt to write and upload something orv-related that has no relation to what i'm currently working on. i get stuck with anna croft and empty sky. i take up the ideas channel to bullshit a strange fantasy au, willfully skipping over important plot points, and end up an outline that will not work for the 500 word snippet that i wanted it for. i am prepared to throw outline in the trash.

EXCEPT THEN SOMEBODY THROWS MONEY AT ME. and now i am bound to continue. i have handed them my kofi and thus a key to my kingdom. i am hampered by the fact that i don't actually know how to write anna croft but i am going to hit at least 2k words regardless.

blood of the covenant:

so this was kind of on the backburner but i have to admit i've been guilted enough that it's stuck on the forefront of my mind. i'm probably going to start working on it to procrastinate on working on the other two above.

namgil spiderman au:

yui on twitter has been drawing this same age knw/lgy au in which they're both dumb highschoolers and the dynamic that's been pitched to me is just. so good. i'm so weak to good art. i found someone else on orvcord who was submitted to the same brainrot and together we brainstormed an au where knw is spiderman and repeatedly attempts to throw his identity in lgy's face only to fail repeatedly because lgy keeps thinking spiderman is kdj. we had so much fun with this. there are so many shenanigans.

this was like 6 months ago but i'm telling you this now because RECENTLY YUI DREW A SCENE FROM THIS AU and now i am WORKED UP OVER IT AGAIN and now me and noc might just collab to make it happen. nothing like recursive fanart that you weren't expecting to get the brain juices flowing.

[shuuenmei]

partner

TWST OC Week Day 7: AU

BEFORE WE BEGIN:

For the last day of TWST OC Week, I picked AU and after some brainstorming, I decided to pick a Pokémon AU.

Or rather, a Pokémon crossover AU where Yuu (Rei) comes from the Pokémon universe instead.

This was a personal AU I had in mind for some while but placed on a backburner since I wanted to focus on the main fic first.

But with TWST OC Week, I thought it’s a good chance to revisit the AU again.

Without further ado, here we go!

I’m glad to be doing this event and it’s been fun!

Yuu doesn’t know what to expect when a seemingly mutated, talking, Shiny Zorua threatened to burn her if she didn’t hand over her clothes.

She only realized that she wore a whole robe and new attire, but internally panicked when her bag wasn't around, nor the fact that she has no Pokéball at hand.

So she had to trap the unknown monster back in the coffin she initially awoke to before escaping.

By luck, she met a petite, but older than he seemed student who healed her burns but the monster chased after her before being stopped by a man who claimed to be the Headmaster of this strange academy she was brought to.

“Ah, I found this bag and belt with peculiar looking metallic balls attached to it earlier, they must be yours, yes?”

The Headmaster waved his hand to show her belt with six Pokéballs intact and sling bag.

She hastily took the items and thanked the man. “Thank you sir... it seems my things were separated from me when that monster attacked me.”

“Attacked?”

He turned to the monster and frowned. “So it comes down to the fault of your Familiar.”

What, he’s not-

The headmaster didn’t listen, but the boy...student, with her, Lilia, listened and they talked along the way.

Checking the things inside her bag and her Party on hand as they did so.

________________________________________________________________

The mutated talking Zorua burned the whole room just shortly after the talking magical mirror declared that she had no magic.

The experiences and senses she honed as a trainer being the saving grace that lets her avoid the flames.

As the whole room set into a panic, she took a Pokéball that held her longtime friend, family, and partner.

Gazing at the ball for a moment, she murmured.

“Let’s go, partner. You ready?”

The Pokémon inside it nodded at her with a resolute gaze.

With a nod, she threw the Pokéball to the air.

“Gabriel! Sparkling Aria!”

Her long trusted Primarina landed gracefully on the ground and sang, large water bubbles formed all around them, appearing out from the air and the bubbles burst.

Water spreads all over and extinguishes the flames that appeared.

“Fnah!? My flames!” The mutated Zorua exclaimed but she paid no heed to what was going on behind or around her.

She’s only focused on seeing the flames gone and snuffed out.

In spite of the chaotic situation she found herself into, she’s glad that she’s not alone.

________________________________________________________________

Gabriel made quick work on the flames and the flames are gone by seconds.

The mutated Zorua was caught and she observed a red-haired student chant. “Off With Your Head!”

A large lock shaped collar was magically put in place at the monster.

After some words were exchanged, the boy turned to her. “This is your familiar, is it not?”

The Headmaster chimed in. “Yes! Do something about him! This is your familiar is it-”

Water was blasted on his face before the man could finish.

Turning to her furious partner, she chided. “Hey! I know you’re offended that he assumed that the mutated Zorua who threatened me to go naked is part of the team but you can’t just shoot a Water Gun at anybody!”

“Eh...? He isn’t yours?” The man repeated.

“Gabriel wouldn’t have been offended enough to blast water on your face otherwise.”

“I, I see...” The man looked at her Primarina, who only gave him an angry look in return, readying another blast of water.

“Come on Gab, calm down.” She held and stroked her partner’s hair.

“Pardon me,” The red haired boy called for her, “... you said he threatened you to what?” The red haired boy questioned.

“I woke up from the coffin because that monster,” She pointed to it, “burned the coffin, and then told me to strip naked from these clothes or he’ll burn me to death.”

Silence followed.

“...If that’s the case,” A lavender haired student with the red haired boy spoke. “it’s no wonder your partner is upset enough to attack the headmaster for his wrong assumption.”

She nodded at him. “Gabriel’s my longtime partner, I’d never replace Gabriel over some mutated talking Zorua.”

“Mutated what?”

“A Zorua.” She spoke. She had some suspicion about what kind of world she got brought into but she had to ask. “Do you not have Pokémon here?”

“...What’s a Pokémon?”

Oh boy.

________________________________________________________________

With the monster who called himself as Grim sent away, her status as coming from another world where, in their words, people tame magical monsters on a daily basis, being open news to the students present, but unable to return back to where she once came from, the Headmaster lets her stay around as he finds a way to bring her back to her original world, added onto his own surprise that she is a girl, and that the academy is actually an all-boys school.

She isn’t too worried about being trapped here for the while.

If anything, once the news of her going missing goes around, the Ultra Recon Squad and those from Aether Foundation would likely go and find her via the Ultra Wormhole.

They would have gotten in touch with Selene too by then.

Meanwhile, she was brought to an unused dorm that was planned to be repurposed on a later date.

She is now looking at her PC Box via the Portable PC, a new technology from Galar that lets you open your PC anywhere and anytime that is just recently applied in Sinnoh PC’s.

Speaking of Sinnoh... she was last walking around Route 214 back home, wasn’t she?

How did she get here-

Gabriel’s nudging brought her out of her thoughts.

“...Yeah, we should make the best of things for the time being.” She nodded.

At least the Pokémon in her PC Box are safe and the PC can still be used, even in another world.

Though she had to think of how she can manage to bring some of her Pokémon out and not get them stuck in the PC Box for too long.

She got enough berries, over a hundred, she last counted, obtained from renovating her Poké Pelago for years, so food for her Pokémon and her own person wouldn’t be a problem.

She knows the basic housework and the like at least, and can cook things decently.

She also got enough clothes, be it undergarments and others.

But first…

“We got a lot to clean up, don’t we?”

Gabriel nodded at her.

Time to get started.

________________________________________________________________

She would have gotten started if not for the monster she mistook as a mutated Shiny Zorua sneaking back in, only behaving once she threatened to have Gabriel shoot water at him if he didn’t, and dealing with the resident ghosts who were bothering her, thinking she’d be easy to play around with if it weren’t for Gabriel being way powerful for the ghosts to handle.

She had to convince the Headmaster to let the monster, Grim, stay if not for the fact that he’d do more harm if he is kicked out again.

“Ah, speaking of, would you like to register Grim-kun together with you as a student?”

“...What?”

The Headmaster explained. “We have some cases where students register as a 2-in-1 student due to circumstances. Considering that of yours and Grim-kun’s desire to enter the school, wouldn’t it have worked out?”

“...No, I’d rather register with Gabriel and my Pokémon than to register together with Grim.”

“Fnah!? Why!?”

She shook her head and reasoned, staring at the Headmaster. “You’re implying as if you want to replace my longtime friend, partner and family over a stranger. I refuse to have my partners be replaced by anybody.”

She looked down at Grim next. “And honestly, you still need a lot of work to do and understand what’s appropriate and inappropriate for people. Telling people to strip naked and burn them if things don’t go your way is not it.”

“...That’s true.” The Headmaster agreed.

“...I shall register you and… who would be your main partner?”

“Gabriel.” She spoke without hesitation.

“Alright, Gabriel-kun and Yuu-san. You two will be students from tomorrow on, while Grim-kun will be on probation until he is deemed ready to be a student.”

She nodded.

Sounds good to her.

________________________________________________________________

“So you’re choosing Popplio, young Yuu?”

Yuu nodded at Hala.

She is only twelve this year.

Her parents advised her to move with her cousins to Hau’Oli city, Alola, from Sinnoh last year and she still needs some time to get used to Alola weather.

It’s too hot, and she personally missed the cold, chilly air of Sinnoh.

Then her uncle suggested she try and take the island challenge and see if she can dethrone the first ever champion of Alola, Selene, who took charge three years ago.

With little to do beyond hanging around Iki Town and wandering around Hau’Oli, with her cousins off to their own adventures, she decided she might as well take it.

The Popplio clapped in glee and hopped towards her.

She held her first… rather, second, Pokémon, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Gabriel.”

Popplio welcomed the nickname with a cheerful bark. Followed by another cry of triumph.

Gabriel stared at the newcomer.

She noticed it’s gaze and introduced Gabriel to her technically first Pokémon she befriended.

“Oh, this stardust looking little guy? The name’s Aster. Aster’s not really someone I want to use in battles since Aster doesn’t seem like the kind to like fights right now, but Aster’s a friend.”

Aster the Cosmog smiled at Gabriel, excited at the thought of having a new friend.

[dandelion-wings]

the ‘Jean - deaging’ sounds very interesting! I love the concept of a character deaging and losing their previous memories, and I’d love to see it happen with Jean

That is pretty much what happens! :D It's another of those tropes I've always liked reading and one day went "wait, I could WRITE this." The actual fic is somewhat stalled out at the moment because half of me wanted to write purely cute fluff where the Knights take the opportunity to spoil their overworked leader (while maintaining a bit of a masquerade since you don't want your enemies to know that the person in charge of your police/militia is currently a 10-year-old), and half of me wanted to more deeply explore the implications of Jean being the child of two important people who probably would have been concerned about kidnapping, leading to Jean and Klee on the lam while all the adults panic. I've been trying to figure out a fun middle ground, but it's kind of backburnered at the moment while I see if anything clarifies out of that.

Either way, though, Klee does take Jean on a little adventure, so:

The ground is wet and soft from recent rain, and they're both smeared with mud by the time they bring up the little chest that Klee had put her treasure in. She's glad she did that, because otherwise the wet ground might have gotten it wet, too, and sometimes that keeps the bomb from going off properly. They set the chest on the ground, and both of them huddle around it, Miss Jean wide-eyed as Klee undoes the catch and lifts the top.

"What *is* that?" she asks, when the round shape of the bomb is revealed. Klee had wrapped this one up in fabric and then painted over it, a bunch of little red hearts to show how strong and special it is.

"It's a weapon of the Knights of Favonius! Like you wanted," she explains, picking it up and hugging it. "Except it isn't all crusty and boring like some old sword. It's really, really powerful! Do you want to hold it?"

"I...." Miss Jean looks doubtful for a moment, but then excitement wins out. "May I?"

"Yeah! Just don't drop it or throw it, it might go off. Then we'll get in trouble." Klee feels a twinge of reluctance as she holds the bomb out to Miss Jean. But she wants her new friend to have fun, and how's she supposed to do that if Klee hoards her treasure and doesn't let her play?

"I'll be super careful," Miss Jean promises, and takes the bomb, holding it securely to her chest.

[solomonish]

Not gonna lie, but I’m kinda curious about that aforementioned character playlists. . .

oh HELL yes my time has COME

so i really like making character playlists when i’m bored because it helps me get a feel for the character? and sometimes it’s just a lot of fun to put a song in there that doesn’t necessarily match and try to come up with a justification for it, you know? when i make playlists, some of the songs match them entirely, while some just give off a vibe with their genre or specific tune, others match because of the title, and some just have really good lyrics or a good line or two. sometimes i just add in a song i think they’d like to listen to! really, there’s not a lot of strict method between choosing songs, and i don’t stick to one specific type of music for any given playlist!

i have playlists for all seven brothers and solomon right now. the other nowdateables....i don’t have enough of a grasp on them right now to make a playlist for them? so they’re still upcoming. each playlist is subject to little tweaks, like adding or removing the occasional song, but most of the playlists are finished! The only two that might change the most are Beelzebub’s and Satan’s. Beel’s has the least songs and they’re all revolving around food and eating (at least the titles are) but i just......i don’t know his character well enough to branch out from that yet. Satan’s feels like I just shoved all of the songs i liked by fall out boy in a playlist and called it a day, so I’ll be reworking that one and tailoring it more to him instead of making it more like “hehe angery boy angy”

i am planning to make cute little playlist edits to properly introduce the playlists, but i can go ahead and give you a little intro to the playlists right now! 

and you can find all of my playlists right here! (spotify - might make them on youtube later!) ((double note: a few playlists had a couple kpop songs on them and recently some sort of deal with spotify expired so if you see gaps in the playlists, that’s why! feel free to ask what was there if you’re curious bc i think i remember? let’s hope anyway))

Solomon

Solomon’s is half a love letter (the beginning being a lot of love songs/songs meant to be sung to another person) and half a character playlist lol. His is the newest and it might be my favorite, but I don’t know if that’s because he’s my favorite or because of the songs. Probably both?

Favorite additions: Willow by Taylor Swift and Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron. Church by Aly & AJ is up there, too.

Lucifer

Lucifer’s is one where a lot of my decisions came from song title and vibe over actual content, but I still think a lot of it worked! His is the one with the most allusions to their angel days because he just...he’s the one who reminds me of it the most? He’s got a lot of songs titled “Halo” or “Oh My Dear Lord” or “Devil’s Den” and I’m not 100% sure why alksjlksdf. His is also the only one with his character song in it (though I’m probably gonna add Belphie’s into his) because those are the one’s I feel fit the vibes I already had in the playlists when the songs came out lol

Favorite Additions: The Lovers Dancing by Innerpartysystem, Saints by Echos, and Bubble by Danny Blu (Mr.Kitty Remix).

Mammon

Mammon’s has a lot of those songs that are like “haha i’m so rich and I’ve got chicks for days” while also having a lot of songs that are like “dance till we’re the last ones standing and it’s just you and me.” I feel like that kind of wanting the MC to himself fits without being too....eh? I don’t know? Too Much? He also has a lot of high-energy pop/house/edm/whatever because (especially after his character song came out) I feel like that’s what fits him!

Favorite Additions: Collide by Breathe Carolina, Inseparable by The Jonas Brothers, Big Plans by Why Don’t We.

Leviathan

Levi’s was the first one I made!! Although funnily enough I don’t have a lot to say about it? The music here is probably some of the most varied (or maybe i’m just making it up in my mind) and the songs range from “this describes levi” to “this describes being self conscious” to “this is about breaking out of the friend zone” to “pretty sure this song was popular in AMVs and nightcore” LOL but i think it ended up with being a really good playlist WITHOUT relying solely on like. anime OPs and EDs and vocaloid and stuff like that.

Favorite Additions: They Say You Won’t Come Back by Breathe Carolina, Just a Friend To You by Meghan Trainor, and Doubt by Twenty One Pilots.

Satan

Again, I’m not sure if my choices for him were genius or stupid but man did i make them. A lot of the beginning songs were me just trying to get a /feel/ for him because I’m still working out the balance between wrath and the rest of his personality so...subject to change but maybe not? Maybe I’ll just add a few less angry songs...but I still think what I have right now is good! I wouldn’t show you otherwise!

Favorite Additions: Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift, Duality by Set It Off, and Anti-Gravity by RUNAGROUND.

Asmodeus

Asmo’s playlist feels like one you’d put on while getting ready to go out with The Girls if you know what I mean? It does deal heavily with like. partying and songs about sex but it’s not gross? I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding that way lol. It’s not ALL sex and partying but I wanted a playlist that sounded like the color pink without just being bubblegum pop. I don’t know, I think it works lol

Favorite Additions: BFF by Slayyyter and Ayesha Erotica, Death By Sex by Kim Petras, queen of broken hearts by blackbear

Beelzebub

This is the one I have the least to say about 👉👈😔 no beel disrespect I just have a hard time reading his personality and, at least as far as I’ve gotten, the story kinda puts him on the backburner. but! i’m pretty happy with the songs i did end up choosing, even if they almost all have titles regarding food alskdfjdk

Favorite Additions: Eat Your Heart Out by WALK THE MOON and Starving by Hailee Steinfeld

Belphegor

This one!! For the longest time this one used to be my favorite because it has the barest semblance of character development? It doesn’t have a story or anything and the order is all coincidence BUT i feel like if you at least go in expecting this, maybe you’ll get a sense of feeling him slowly change his attitudes towards MC and fall in love? maybe? I don’t know maybe I just really like belphie alkdsf

Favorite Additions: HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy, Please Don’t Say by Breathe Carolina, hot girl bummer by blackbear

and these are my playlists!! Like I said, I’m hoping to make cute edits so I can make posts about them but maybe that won’t even happen and I’ll just scream about them into the void one day lol feel free to let me know what you think and give me any suggestions (especially for beel!!) no hard feelings if i don’t put in any suggested songs though, i may ask for help but I’m also Extremely Picky aksdfds

[thevictorianghost]

A look back at 2020 - and a thank you to the Zutara fandom

Okay.

So.

I’ve never done this before. I know 2020 has been… a year. To say the least. A messy, sad, hell of a year. I’m not saying my 2020 was perfect. There were many events that were supposed to happen but got cancelled because of COVID. But if you could believe it, 2019 was so much worse for me, especially creative-wise. So I decided to make this post about how my 2020 went, because it went a lot better than 2019!

Never again, 2019. Never again.

Also if you feel like you haven’t been creative or haven’t had the energy to do everything you wanted to do, please don’t take this post as a “haha I did so much better than you guys!” Because that is ABSOLUTELY NOT what I want to achieve. I just want to give myself a pat on the back. Honestly, I think what really helped this year was when I got into a slump for one type of creative endeavour, I jumped to the next. I set myself to start something and finished it. Then, if I felt burnt out about that thing? Like writing a fic? I got into cosplay. Or video editing. Or something else. And then I came back to writing. It was really fun to learn new things and to do multiple kinds of projects through the year!

The Zutara fandom thank you letter is at the end, so if you want to skip my ramblings, you can find the title below! 

So anyway. Here goes!

Video editing:

It’s not that well-known on my Tumblr, but I have a Youtube channel! I made myself a video editing challenge back in January - and I crushed it! Back in 2019, I quit video editing for many months because I didn’t have the motivation to continue doing so. But then in December last year, I found a BUNCH of my old (and I mean, VERY old) videos I’d made as a kid. And it re-invigorated my love for video editing because I realized how far I’d come and that I wanted to do it more! So I told myself: one video a month. Twelve in one year. That’s it. Do that. And I ended up making TWENTY videos this year! I’m so proud of myself!

I even made MORE than twenty videos. A few of these just aren’t published. I made a few more “educational” videos because I’m considering making a brand new Youtube channel dedicated to History and pop culture! I don’t know if it’ll end up being… you know… a thing, but hey! Why not?

I also made some unpublished short edits for a possible Instagram account I’d like to create, too! All for Titanic. An example of those short videos can be found here! Again, I don’t know if that Instagram account will end up being… a thing… but I have faith!

Cosplay:

I got back into cosplay this year! And I learned new skills thanks to it! I learned how to work with EVA foam to create my own Blue Spirit mask (using this tutorial!). There’s a few projects currently on the backburner, but I’m sure I’ll come back to them eventually!

I also learned recently how to sew a pair of opera gloves (because haha, fuck you if you want to buy any that aren’t in size small!) for a Rose Dewitt-Bukater cosplay with my sewing machine I bought way back in like… March… but was honestly too afraid to use. But I did it! I pushed through my fear and I did it! I’ve been practicing more and more with my sewing machine as I repurpose old clothes for my cosplay. And it’s going great!

Writing:

I got back into fanfic! I hadn’t written ANYTHING fanfic related in a while, especially not multi-chapter fics. But this year, I finished THREE novel-length fanfictions. My fanfics The Prince’s Bride, my Star Wars/The Princess Bride AU, and Never Let Me Go, my Avatar: The Last Airbender/Titanic AU, are currently all published on AO3! I haven’t been much in the Star Wars fandom since writing The Prince’s Bride, but I did meet @stressedinadress with who I talk about Star Wars and anything in particular! Thank you for being my friend!

My other novel-length fic, All roads lead to Paris, a Miraculous Ladybug/A Monster in Paris/Ratatouille crossover fic is currently being uploaded every Wednesdays! I’ve also written a Titanic/The Great Gatsby crossover one-shot called Make it count; Meet me at the clock that had been living in my brain for years but I’d never had the guts to write it. But then I did!

I’m especially proud of Never Let Me Go. Not that I’m not proud of my other fics, but this one in particular has a very special place in my heart. It’s the longest story I’ve EVER written and made me love Titanic all over again. Zuko and Katara were the perfect characters to be cast as Jack and Rose. I got back into drawing entirely thanks to this fic. I’d been telling myself “I can’t draw to save my life” for YEARS but then I decided to try again and I’m much better than I was back then! I’m so humbled by all the comments, all the bookmarks, the kudos and the love this story has received. We’ve JUST REACHED 5000 HITS!! Before the end of the year!! That’s so AWESOME!!

I’m tentatively coming back to original fiction after writing a lot of fanfic, especially a Greek Mythology retelling (which is, you know, fanfiction but with stories that don’t have copyrights!). I think writing fanfiction really helped me figure out what I love about writing and has helped me tremendously in creating my own style and voice. It’s been an incredible journey and yes, my Greek Mythology retelling was inspired by a Zutara Greek Mythology AU! So you know, I’m staying on-brand! haha

I’m also currently working on another ATLA fic, heavily inspired by my “what I would have wanted for LOK” post you can find here. It’s going to be much, MUCH shorter than Never Let Me Go, but it’s already longer than Not Like Everyone Else, so I’m really happy with this one. A bunch of bite-sized chapters in the POVs of all these lovely characters after the War and my take on where they should have ended up - and the world.

Zutara:

And finally, but certainly not the least, I got back into the Zutara fandom and really contributed! I made metas I’m really proud of (like this one on Katara’s abandonment issues you can find here!). I wrote the aforementioned fanfic Never Let Me Go. I even made a video about Zutara after my latest rewatch of ATLA (you can watch ZUTARA | Zuko x Katara - BATTLESHIPS here!).

I also made friends along the way! @darkcrowprincess​, @harharj​, @angelsabloom​ and, more recently, @heavensweetheart​. I wanted to thank you for putting up with my weird rants and obsessions! :)

We’re all such a lovely bunch and don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere! I want to thank, especially, @firelxdykatara​, @antarcticasx​, @my-bated-breath​, @peartarts​,  @pineapple-frenzy​ and @hayleynfoster​ for your metas, fics, art, etc.!  You’ve been making my 2020 better. This isn’t an exhaustive list, so if I’ve forgotten someone, I’m so sorry! 

Also I hope everyone who have been harassed recently, like @babytreehugger​, knows that we’re all standing behind you and supporting you.

This is a really special fandom indeed. It took me years before I could rewatch ATLA knowing Zutara wasn’t endgame, but even if it hurts that they’re not canon, we have countless fics, art, poems, animatics, even published authors whose books are basically Zutara AUs! As stated by those same authors! Isn’t that amazing?? WE HAVE A STAR!! WE HAVE A FRICKING STAR!!! Has anyone forgotten that??

And look. I’ve been, for the past few years, in the Star Wars fandom. I’ve been in many different fandoms over the years. It’s been… rough. But I’ve never seen such an encouraging, loving, compassionate fandom. I know it can be difficult outside of our fandom, especially with people fighting on Twitter and Instagram and even on Tumblr with people harassing others. But this fandom, fifteen years later, is so smart, so kind, so positive and so inspiring. 

If you’ve been reading up ‘till now, thank you! 

Also: You can do whatever you set your mind to! I believe in you! Go do the thing if you want to! And never forget to be kind to yourself. 

Happy holidays! Let’s hope (fingers crossed!) that 2021 will be a better year. 

thevictorianghost

[projectrevivalserver]

Project Revival Revival Project Devblog #1

Hey guys, blog post number 1 here. This is my first blog post, so let’s just get right into it. As you can guess, these entries are semi-formal.

So, what’s been going on with the server since we released the conscript guide? Well, less than I had hoped. Let’s take a look. We did an event, we made CWU guide progress, we added fully implemented UU Brand items, and we argued about which apples are the best. Let’s start with the CWU guide. I’ve been the only person writing it, not that I’m complaining. I’ve put down an outline covering the different branches of the CWU (think CMU, Commerce, Infestation Control, etc.), the management structure of the CWU, descriptions of each branch and how they work, and a section on rules and things about the CWU as well as the glossary. At the time of writing this, I’ve finished the basic branch overview sections, the descriptions of the different CWU ranks, Director, Manager, Supervisor, all that. I finished the sections on the Commerce Branch and the Decontamination Corps. Those are finalized, save one little exception, I need to add more examples of what a high work job would be for decontamination corps workers. Work for it has stagnated recently, just because while I can do technical writing, that doesn’t mean I love doing it. Unfortunately, my inability to focus and my skill at procrastinating has been a bit of a barrier. Still, I’m hoping I can get it done quickly. I’ve got 6 more guides to write and time isn’t moving any slower. Just to let you all know, the guides are, in this order, the OTA guide, the vortigaunt guide, the CAC guide, the OSA guide, and then the city bureaucracy guide. As I said before, I implemented UU brand items. Some of them weren’t working as consumable food for hunger anymore, but now they all do. We also added a few new items that hadn’t existed before such as popcorn, peanuts, bananas, pickles, and a handful of others. In the process of doing this, I argued with LightROOM about which types of apples are the best. The correct answer is Honeycrisp.

So, what’s coming up? Things that may be on the backburner, or are planned next, that type of thing. Well, the very next plan after the CWU guide, if not during, is to make all of the weapons we’ll use in RP into Helix items. This really only goes for one SWEP, but I still need to double check and make sure I’m not missing something. After that, as you can imagine, we’ve got guides to write. The OTA guide is up next, and shouldn’t be too difficult to write. Half of the content, if not more, should overlap with the CCA guide. The biggest challenge is making a good rank system that isn’t super confusing. Even then, it shouldn’t be too difficult. Also, keep in mind, snipers will not be called RANGER. That’s a common practice that I don’t really care about, but I heard the name SCALPEL somewhere else so I’m completely in love with it. Anyways, other than guides, what’s coming up next? I’ve got several items and weapons to make or find. Flashbangs, smoke grenades, tear gas, riot shields, deployable manhacks, and armor repair kits. As a staff team, we have to write a detailed rules and policies document for the server. I’m not trying to rewrite the Constitution, I just want to make our rules and how things are punished more clear and universal. Same goes for our handling of permakills, NLR, lines at which unionwashing can be broken, what items go out for what loot rolls, and various other important things staff need to know. Something else I’m very excited about, don’t expect this to come out super soon, but I have to do an OSA overhaul which I’m very excited for. I get to add hunters that don’t function exclusively with a pill, I’m transferring over stalkers to be combat units like in the beta, I have to write a SWEP for the Combine Super Soldier, a SWEP for the elite synth soldiers, all this fun stuff that I’m very excited to do. We’ll get there, don’t worry. Next up, what are some less defined, more hopeful future things to look forward to? I’ve been thinking about adding a staff schedule for over the summer. That way, we can be guaranteed to have staff on the server at all possible active hours, and the server won’t be dead 95% of the time like it has been for the last while. That’s not confirmed, but it’s very likely I’ll do something along those lines. I’d like to get some more events in. Given that it’s July, a lot of people are on summer break, so hopefully I can do some mid-day events. The next campaign is also somewhere in the future. I’ve been teasing it for the last couple events, but I want to plan it and get official campaign events going. I’ve also got ideas for special events to happen during the summer. I can’t be too specific because I don’t want to build hype for something not even confirmed yet, but I can say that I’m hopeful they do get to happen and I’m excited to make them full priority after I can get the Project Revival Revival Project done. Other things I’d just in general like to do, a more expanded crafting system, possibly something to simulate survivalism, industry and work cycle expansion, replacement of CID cards with identibands, a health charger revamp, scanner to combot transition, and a few other things. I could talk for hours about all the things I eventually want to do. That blog post would be a few pages long at the very least.

So, all that said, how am I feeling about the server? Over the past week, a bit worried, hopeful, and not too much of anything else. I’ve been busy assembling my cosplays for a convention coming up next weekend, so the server has unfortunately been on the backburner this week. I’m a bit disappointed that the player count tanked again, but I shouldn’t get too down about it, because it’s absolutely my fault. I’m trying to justify with myself that it’s okay because the rerelease will make everything better, but I can’t be sure of that. So I’m worried that I’m just contributing to the slow and painful re-death of the server. I get bursts of inspiration a lot, but the work ahead of me is discouraging. Writing the guides is a big slog for me. Hopefully I can get through it soon. I really want to keep this all going.

That’s about it for this first blog entry. It was a bit lengthy, but I want to be transparent with you guys. I want you all to know we haven’t forgotten about you all, and writing these posts holds us accountable for the goals we set and the work we do. To those of you who are patiently waiting, I see you and I appreciate you. You guys are great and the time you spend on the server warms my heart.

Gabe

[elladescent449-artspace]

It started with the milk: Chapter 2 - Breakfast and a brawl

Breakfast and a Brawl

Leo awoke to the violent clatter of pots and pans. Despite the stiffness, the sleep was still there with him, desperately trying to drag him back into a dream that he couldn’t remember. When another bang sounded, he turned over with a groan and covered his head with his sheets. The movement triggered a soreness in his shoulders, and he very suddenly became aware of the growing crick in his neck. With another quiet growl he turned over again, trying to alleviate some of the unwelcome aches and pains. He stilled, focussing on the warmth of his sheets and the sound of his own breathing. It was still raining. Aside from the noise from the kitchen he could still hear the blurred whir of New York’s spring rainfall.  Leo heard a quiet boom of thunder and he remembered those quiet noises from the night before, although they were definitely more of a distant hush now that the morning was here. With the adjustment of his body and the warmth of his sheets, Leo began drifting off again. It was slow and comfortably heavy as he sank back into a sleep-like state, he felt warm and comfortable, and he slowly began to forget that he was ever awake in the first place.

Leo twitched at the combination of a heavy slam accompanied by a shout. It ripped him into a sitting position and he groaned, forcing himself out of bed and taking his blanket with him.

--

Mikey was already dressed for the day, and by dressed, Leo meant that he was out of pyjamas and wearing his favorite belt. Mikey’s phone was leaning on the cereal box and was plugged into a pair of earphones that trailed into his head. He multitasked eating his cereal while watching a video, swinging his legs cheerily as he giggled on whatever was on screen. He noticed Leo and removed one of his earbuds.

“Good morning, Leo!” He said with a smile. Mikey watched as Leo trudged into the kitchen.

Leo’s voice was a barely coherent mumble, “m’rnin.”

The source of this morning's clammer was found not too far from the door, where Raph had squeezed himself halfway into the bottom cabinet. He was on his knees and surrounded by an explosion of pots, pans, plastic tupperware, and glass and metal bowls.As Leo carefully stepped through the mess, Raph noticed him.

“Oh, hey!” Raph shot up too fast and hit his head on the top of the cabinet with a bang that was even louder than the ones Leo had woken up to. He rubbed his head and excited the cabinet with a glowing smile, “morning Leo.”

Leo replied with a grumble as he walked past him. “What are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for that Lou Jistsu ‘Hot Soup’ bowl that dad was using the other day, y’know, the red and yellow one?” 

Leo yawned, “you mean the really big one or the one the size of a shot glass?”

Raph used his hands to illustrate the size, “the REALLY big one.”

Leo shuffled further into the kitchen, “why do you want that?”

Leo blindly opened the fridge and reached for the juice bottle, he grasped it by the neck but pulled up too hard, sending his hand rocketing into the top of the fridge. Someone had put the empty orange juice bottle back in the fridge. He turned to Mikey who gleefully sipped at the last of it. With a sigh he chucked the empty bottle into the garbage. Dad’s teakettle was still on the un-lit backburner so he shuffled to the stove, slid the kettle forward, and cranked on the heat. 

“Okay,” Raph started, “so I was watching Lou Jitsu’s ‘Lou Jitsu’s Soba Showdown’ and Lou eats that 25 gallon bowl of Soba to gain the trust of the Mafia leader, before doing a double betrayal and defeating the bad guys, remember?”

“I recall,” Leo was feeling peppermint today so with another yawn he popped open the box and took a packet, (he was getting low on the mint, might have to put that on the next grocery list). 

“Right,” Raph’s excitement grows, “so I’m gonna do that.” 

“Meet up with the mafia??”

“No, eat the Soba!”

“25 gallons?” Leo exclaims as he returns to the fridge and takes a lemon from the drawer. “Of Soba?” He cut it open with a knife that was already on the counter and squeezed some juice into the mug.

“Yeah!” Raph dives back into the cabinet and another few bowls slip out onto the floor. “So I need to find that bowl, because it’s the biggest one we’ve got.”

“Wait,” Mikey interjects as he removes one of his earbuds again, “Raph, what are you looking for?”

“The Lou Jitsu bowl!” The set of copper bowls falls from the cabinet with a ringing clang, bummer, those are Dad’s favorites.

“Which one,” Mikey asks, “the really big one, the cereal one, or the one the size of a shot glass?”

Raph sticks his head back out from under the cabinets, “cereal one? We have a Lou Jitsu cereal bowl?”

Mikey takes a bite of his cereal, “yeah!” 

“Where?” Raph asks.

Mikey chews a bit before answering, “I’m using it.”

Leo turns to Mikey as he rotates his bowl, sure enough, white and red flames with a cartoonish picture of Lou adorn the dish.

Raph gasps, “how long have we had that?”

Mikey swallows before taking another mouthful of cereal, after a brief pause he answers with a smile, “a while.”

Leo tuned out of the next part of their conversation when the kettle started whistling behind his shell. He turned and quickly switched the stove off. He carefully poured the boiling water into the prepared mug and set Dad’s kettle back on the backburner of the stove to let sit in case he needed it again.

Raph and Mikey were still talking about bowls as Leo began his walk towards the table. Raph had retreated back into the cabinets to continue his dig so Leo bent down quietly and picked up one of the smaller glass bowls before shuffling over to sit across from Mikey at the breakfast table.

“Why can’t I find this bowl?!” 

“The cereal bowl?”

“No!” Raph shouts from the cabinets, “the really big one! Soba Showdown!”

“Oooooh!” Mikey draws the word out with a mouthful of cereal as Leo starts filling his own bowl with breakfast flakes.

“Raph,” Leo loosened the sheets around his shoulders as he became more comfortable with the temperature of the room. The left-over exhaustion from last night was starting to wear off as he began to wake-up. “Are you sure you’re even looking in the right cabinet?”

‘ “This is the bowl cabinet! Why wouldn’t it be in the bowl cabinet?!” Raph’s frustration was rising.

“I keep this bowl in my room,” Mikey had turned off the screen of his phone at this point. He wrapped up his earbuds and took the cereal from Leo to refill his own bowl. “Maybe Dad has it?”

“No, I asked Pop’s last night and he said it was in the bowl cabinet,” he hit his head on the inside of the cabinet again and growled, “with the bowls!”

“What are you looking for?” Leo turned his head as Donnie walked into the kitchen. He was awake and alert, holding a coffee cup.

“Good morning, Donnie,” Mikey took the milk before Leo could use it, “Raph’s looking for the Lou Jitsu bowl.”

“The shot glass or the big one?” Donnie walked over to the coffee machine and detached the pot to refill his mug.

Mikey, Raph, and Leo all said in unison with varying degrees of energy, “the big one.”

“It’s on top of the fridge.”

Leo, Mikey, and Raph all looked to the top of the fridge, where a massive bowl with red and white flames sat filled with potatoes and onions. Donnie sat at the table next to Mikey and took the milk before Leo could grab it, quietly pouring a little in his coffee. 

Raph took a short stack of the largest bowls from the ground and skipped over to the fridge. When Donnie finally sat the jug down, Leonardo grabbed the milk before anyone else could take it and poured it over his cereal. With the milk finally added, he took a few bites. It was Mikey’s favorite too-sweet, marshmallow and wafer bargain-brand cereal that he always asked Dad for. Leo picked up his tea and took a sip to check the temperature, it was still really hot but not painfully so. The lemon and peppermint came through nicely so he took a deeper sip.

Donnie sat his mug down with a smile and pulled out his phone. Mikey zeroed in on the cup.

“Are you drinking choccy milk?!” Mikey squealed.

“What?” Donnie was caught off guard at the sudden, loud question.

“You’ve got chocolate milk?!” Raph shouted from the fridge, trying to balance the large bowl (still full of potatoes and onions) on his shoulders as he took it down.

“No!” Donnie sighed, “you just saw me pour the milk, Mikey, it’s coffee.”

“Aw~” Mikey sighed and plugged his earbuds back in to continue watching his video.

Leonardo took another bite of his cereal and chewed for a few seconds. Donnie took another swallow from his mug, keeping his eyes on the screen of his phone. The night before was a blur. Leonardo remembered waking up exhausted and really wanting to go back to sleep. Messing with Donatello was fun for a million reasons, but this morning, as he sat across the table from him, his cereal was sitting uncomfortably in the bottom of his stomach. Leo picked up his tea and took another sip, eyeing Donnie as he did the same with his own drink. “When did you start putting milk in your coffee?”

Donnie's eyes flicked upwards, “hm?”

“You’ve always taken your coffee black,” Leo took another bite of cereal and looked at the mug in Donnie’s hand, it was the same mug as the night before. With the kitchen lights on he could see it was a purple mug with a picture of Atomic Lass on the side. “When did you start adding milk?”

Donatello put down his mug and attempted to focus back in on his phone, “uhh, just…” he started typing something. “I don’t know… recently?” 

Leo smiled, “what happened to ‘I like my coffee to be as black as my soul.��” Leo deepened his voice at the soul coffee line, teasingly chuckling at Donnie who was looking at him now. He looked confused, studying Leo with an expression that Leo couldn’t recognize on his brother’s face.

“When did I say that,” he scoffed, “milk and coffee go great together.” Donnie swallowed audibly as he finished the last of what was in his mug. He set the cup down again and kept typing on his phone. Leo took another bite of his cereal, he was getting close to the bottom of his bowl now, but he wasn’t as hungry as he usually was so he didn’t think he’d be going for a second bowl. Mikey chuckled with a mouthful of cereal and Donnie looked up again, first at Mikey but then back to Leo with furrowed brows. “Why do you care?”

Leo stopped chewing, “I don’t, I just…” he wasn’t done chewing but he swallowed to clear his mouth. It stuck to his throat. “Making conversation?” Leo picked up his tea and swallowed, trying to move the cereal down. Donnie made another face that Leo didn’t recognize, it still had the inquisitive nature but more… suspicious?

Donnie looked hesitant, picking up his mug again to take another sip before he realized his cup was empty, “I mean, it definitely tastes better.” He left the table, breaking eye contact as he walked towards the coffee machine. 

There was suddenly a small stone forming in his stomach, it wasn’t heavy, but it was there. Leo adjusted his shoulders and sat up trying to get comfortable again. ‘Donnie’s a lot more tired than me,’ the little voice in his head rang. That’s right! Donnie was up before and, supposedly, after Leo had woken up last night working on that secret thing. He must have been drinking coffee non-stop and needed a little change to the bitterness. Leonardo’s tea was room temperature now and he greedily swallowed the rest. He sat the cup down with a loud tap just as Donnie sat down.

He didn’t take the milk this time.

Mikey stood abruptly with a satisfied “wew!” He had finished his cereal and his show, and with a quick stretch he left the table. 

Donatello slowly took a mouthful of his coffee, noticeably trying to stifle the grimace that forced itself on his face as he swallowed. Leo stared for a moment, ‘he’s drunk his coffee black since we were 10,’ the small voice whispered, ‘all those fluorescent lights must’ve killed his taste buds’. The reasoning wasn’t as confident.

Leo had to look away when Donnie’s eyes shifted to him with that bitter-coffee-scowl, it wasn’t Donnie’s, ‘you’re annoying me, brat,’ look, it was resentful and reserved, and it caused a density that reached across the table. Leonardo took another bite of his cereal but the weight in his stomach only deepened under his brother's unfamiliar gaze. He wordlessly pushed the milk towards Donnie.

“I got the bowl!” Raph bellowed, appearing behind the table and holding the themed movie bowl above his head. The dense gaze was immediately alleviated as Donnie was pulled away from the stare of his own making. Leo sighed in relief as Donnie took the milk and unscrewed the top.

Mikey put his bowl in the sink, “Raph, why do you need a Lou Jitsu bowl the size of a bathtub anyway?”

“He wants to try and eat 25 gallons of Soba.” Leonardo leaned back in his chair, using his knee to pry away from the table. With the gaze lifted, Leo put on a smile as he directed his information to no-one-in-particular.

Donnie looked up from his mug as he finished filling it to the top with milk, “I’m sorry,” exasperated, “25 gallons?”

“Of Soba,” Leo’s smile widened, “yeah.”

“That’s an awesome idea Raph!” Mikey cheered, “now how do you make Soba?” 

“Uh...:” Raph paused, “I was just gonna, y’know, buy it from somewhere.”

Mikey scoffed, borderline offended, “you were just gonna buy soup?”

“Yeah?” Raph mumbled, his voice starting to sound confused.

“No. No no.” Mikey continued with the tone of refusal in his voice escalating, “no no no no no.” He whipped out his phone in a dramatic fashion and started typing. “This is a Soba. Showdown. Challenge.” He pulled up an image and Leo had to lean out of his chair to see the LED picture. The image was a human lady sitting at a table surrounded by empty bowls in a restaurant, headlined “Woman eats 300 bowls in 17 minutes.” Mikey showed the image to Raph and then Donnie, who was showing little interest as he dove into his own phone. “We are gonna make our own Soba.”

“Mikey,” Donnie sighed, “you don’t know how to make Soba.”

Leo chimed in, “hey, he can probably figure it out.” There was a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, but it wasn’t full hearted. Mikey was, afterall, a better cook than any of them. Japanese cuisine wasn’t exactly his forté, but he was pretty killer with Italian.  “And he’s right,” Leo added.

“About what?” One of Donnie’s eyebrows rose with the question.

Leo pointed to Raphael, “Raph, is this really a soba eating challenge?”

“Uh,” Raph hesitated for a moment before he answered excitedly, “yeah! Yeah it is!”

“‘Hot Soup’ is our catchphrase,” Leo picked up his bowl and drank the milk from it, setting it down with a loud tap before he finished his sentence with a refreshed sigh, “as much as we talk about soup we should be able to make our own.”

“Yeah!” Mikey shouted, “what he said!” 

“Yeah! Except…” Raph deflated as he set the bowl down on the table between the four of them, Leo had to sit up straighter to see over the bowl, it was ridiculously large. “We don’t even know if we’re going to like Soba.”

“What are you talking about,” the familiar rasp caught Leo by surprise. “You boys love Sansai Soba.” Splinter walked into the kitchen with a hearty yawn as he passed his boys, skipping the breakfast table and walking directly to the fridge. It was unusually early for him to be up, his normal wake up time was closer to noon.

“Sorry pop’s,” Leo chuckled, “but we’ve never had Soba.”

“Yes you have.”

“What’s Sansai Soba?” Mikey inquired, walking over to lean on the counter.

“You’ve had it,” Dad pulls out a leftover Panda Express box, hopping onto the counter close to Mikey with a pair of chopsticks.

“Uh, no Dad,” Donnie looked up from his phone as he brought his mug close to his face, “we haven’t.”

Dad popped open the box, mixing up the contents with his utensils, “yes you have.”

“Yeah,” Donnie muttered under his mug as he took a sip, “pretty sure we’d all remember something like ‘Sansai Soba’.”

“Dad, when did we have it?” Raph questioned.

“Mm,” their Dad hummed thoughtfully, a smile creeping in as he searched through the brain fog to find the answer, “Red, you were about… five years old?”

“Oh, yeah,” a scoff erupted from Leo, “like we’re gonna remember that!”

“Eh,” Splinter remarked.

Mikey repeated himself, still curious, “Dad, what’s sansai soba?”

“Sansai Soba is a soup,” Splinter took a bite of cold noodles, talking with a full mouth. “It’s made with mountain vegetables, buckwheat noodles, and dashi stock.”

“We ate that?” Raph said in disbelief.

“Surprisingly,” Dad swallowed, “yes.”

Mikey crossed one of his legs as he leaned closer, “where’d you get it from?” 

“I made it.”

“You can’t cook.” Donnie said matter-of-factly.

“I can too,” Splinter retorted, rising out of his wake-up haze at Donnie’s comment, “I cook all the time!”

Mikey teasingly chuckled, “putting chips in a bowl doesn’t count, Dad.” All four brothers laughed at that while Dad only scowled with a facefull of noodles. Most of the time Dad didn’t use a bowl, he would just eat an entire bag by himself.

“You know nothing!” Dad spat, “I will show you!”

“You’ll make the Soba?” The wonder in Mikey’s voice was hopeful and full of excitement.

“No,” Dad sat the box on the counter and slid off, “we will be making it.”

Mikey gasped, “yay, family time!”

“Count me out.”

“Yeah i’m good.” Donnie and Leo spoke at the same time, but they weren’t heard over the excitement from Raph and Mikey. Raph had picked his massive bowl back up and both he and Mikey eagerly followed their father out of the room, leaving the pile of bowls forgotten on the kitchen floor.

Leo’s bowl was empty now, and he was out of tea. He leaned back in his seat and looked to Donnie, who quickly looked away from him and back to his phone as he sipped at his coffee… with milk.

“Not eager to put your chef skills to the test?” Leo teased, an awkwardness had resettled now that the two other brothers were gone.

Donnie looked back to Leo and was silent for a moment before smiling with his response, “no more than you.” 

Leo chuckled as he stood, taking his dishes with him to the sink. He loaded his things into the dishwasher (including his cup from the night before) and walked back to grab his blanket.

Leo could hear the taps of Donnie’ finger pads against his phone as he typed. Leo rolled his blanket into a messy ball as the weight in his tummy returned. “Are you okay?”

Donnie stopped typing and looked up, not really moving as his eyes lifted to Leo. There was a wary uncertainty as he answered. “Yeah?” He took a long sip as he stared thoughtfully, “why do you ask?”

Leo didn’t take too long to answer, the pauses were getting monotonous, “just asking.”

He left the kitchen but felt Donnie’s eyes on him as he walked. It was uncomfortable as he felt holes being bored into the back of his neck. When he entered his room Leo threw his blanket on the bed. He could still hear Raph and Mikey talking to their Dad in the living room, but the details of their conversation were obscured by distance and action movie noises. Leo sighed and stretched as he circled his room. The soreness in his neck and shoulders were finally fading into afterthoughts from the movements, he felt a lot better after eating something, but the rock in his stomach from the breakfast table hadn’t left. If anything, it was heavier now, and it grew larger and more uncomfortable the more he thought about the interaction he had with Donnie. There wasn’t anything in particular wrong but it just felt… unfamiliar? ‘Remember,’ the little voice repeated, ‘he must be really tired.’ It didn’t help it’s own case though, because it kept repeating images in his head. The way that Donnie’s face contorted when his tongue touched the black coffee was so unfamiliar, the flickering eye movements were not something that his twin did, the ‘why do you care?’ was too hostile.

With a huff he pushed it all aside, the lack of sleep was just making him paranoid and he knew it. Donnie is tired too, he repeated, Donnie is tired too. Leo stood for a moment, trying to occupy his mind with something else. What did he want to do today?

-

This was Leo’s sixth song, and he was on a roll. He didn’t have a perfect score, but he was high in the ranks of Dance Dance Revolution; and by high, he meant he was back in third place. The tired metal and aged plastic creaked under the furious motion of his feet and he began to break a sweat as his score continued to rise. He hadn’t selected the hardest song in the game, he was planning on working his score up and then he’d choose one of the harder songs for last to see if he could get past Mikey’s score. He wanted to beat Raph’s score, but that was a bit of a pipe dream considering how much Raphael loved this game.

They hadn’t had the dance machine for very long in comparison to some of the other arcade games they had collected. This machine in particular the four brothers had only possessed for about a year, and they hadn’t really found a lot of time to play it with all of the action that had been going on in their lives. Raph had the highest score since he enjoyed the game the most, and towered above them all with a whopping score of 4370, and Mikey was second  with a score of 1993. Leo and Donnie, on the other hand, were always switching between third and fourth place. Donnie had held the better dance score for the first month, but then Leo had swiped it during a competitive ‘Pluto the First’ challenge dance, after that, they had kept switching every time they played, neither of them really getting too much of an upper hand. Leo decided to play this when he found himself in fourth place with a score of 620, and Donnie in third with 659.

As the song approached its finale the number of coordinated moves increased, picking up the pace. Leo needed this, after the exhaustion from this morning and his paranoid awkwardness, the dancing was a fantastic distraction from it all. He just needed to get his mind off of it and get his body moving.With one final tap the song finished and Leo sighed in exertion. He took a step off of the pad and bent down to unscrew his water bottle-

“Wow, great score Leo!”

Leo nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden noise, nearly dropping his water in the process. Donnie was there and leaning against the rails of the dancing machine with a look of interest. He was wearing his favorite purple hoodie with the hood draping over his shoulders, this morning’s hostile look was gone. Leo shook off the chill in his spine and played it cool, “why thank you,” Leo bowed dramatically. His score was now 780. Leo took a sip of water before re-capping the bottle and setting it back down to the floor. “I am once again in third place,” he stretched and faced Donnie, a few inches taller than him now thanks to the dance pad, “take that,” he snapped his fingers into a finger gun to accompany the words.

Donatello hummed in response as he looked at the screen. His eyes flicked between the screen and Leo, and for a moment they fell on the water bottle on the floor. A playful grin spread on his face as his eyes narrowed. “I don’t think so,” Donnie leaped over the rail and landed on the alternate pad, “2-player challenge.”  He used the buttons below the screen to select the most difficult song in the game: Paranoia Survivor Max. It was short but it was a beater. “Winner takes third.”

Leo chuckled and scrolled down to the start button for him. “You’re on.” He slapped the start button and jumped into place. 

The screen displayed “HERE WE GO” and Leo only had a quick moment to look at the info tab on the bottom right side of the screen - BPM 290; challenge 16. His current score was displayed along with the info. On Donnie’s side of the screen the same information was displayed with his measly score of 659, and Leo was going to keep it that way.

It started quicker than Leo anticipated (as usual) and they were immediately thrown into the fray. Down up down right down up down left up down up down left. This was the most difficult song in Dance Dance Revolution history, and he wasn’t gonna lose to Donnie this time. Donnie usually lost to him, but it was always close, and he had been getting better every time due to his love of dance. Leo winced as he missed a step, but he wasn’t going to let it get to his head, he was going to get into Donnie’s head. A break in the song (literally half a second) was enough time for him to do a spin before landing on the next combination of arrows, he laughed when he hit successfully and added a bit more flare to his movements with some enthusiastic arm choreography.

“Yo, Bootyyyshaker9000.” Down up right up down up left.

“Yeah?” Donnie replied with a pant, Leo could already feel a sting in his ankles as he continued the ridiculously fast paced dance. 

He’d start with a low blow. “How does it feel to rank number 4 in the dance department?” Leo didn’t dare look at Donnie’s side of the screen, he was already missing a few points and he wasn’t going to lose anymore by looking at someone else's arrows.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” their steps were almost in sinc, “last I checked, I was the better dancer.” This morning's pestering weight was dissipating in the activity. This was Donnie! The dance, tech, and Atomic Lass loving dork that had some pretty sweet moves when he wanted to. Leo could hear the smile on his twins face as he was enjoying this too, it had been too long since they had competed like this, they should do it more often. It made him laugh.

“Ha!” Leo did a few key steps, “you call that dancing?” He was going to win this round “You rely too much on a machine, brother, this is dancing!”

Leo began exaggerating his movements, building up kicks and adding a few more spins as he pumped up the energy. Not everyone gets tired when playing DDR, but man, he was starting to feel it. It didn’t matter though, his score was high and he felt good. He did another spin and looked over his shoulder as he did the dance backwards. He heard Donnie emit a sound of frustration as Leo kept up with the movements. Leo laughed and switched back, it was a show-off move but nothing he could do for long.

They were getting close to the end, Leo could tell because he had watched Raph play this song a hundred times (that was an exaggeration, maybe six times, because this song was too crazy to do a hundred times.) He waited for the last move, where he spun again and dabbed at the last step.

Leo let off a sigh of exhaustion and put his hands on his knees as he panted. 442 points! Not marvelous, but perfect in the eyes of DDR. “Take that Don-” 120. Leo did a double take. Donnie’s score was only 120. Donnie was panting but he wasn’t nearly as tired as Leo. Bootyyyshaker9000, the guy who danced with Atomic Lass in times square, who was able to beat Mikey in DDR’s butterfly dance (but no other song and it was only that one time because it was Mikey), who always came close if he didn’t beat Leo in a double challenge, was sitting close to fail in the score system.

Donnie had his hands on his hips, faking exertion. “Wow, you sure beat me-”

“Donnie are you okay?” Leo cut him off. The rock dropped back into his guts as he stood up straight, coming to eye level with Donnie.

“What?” Donatello looked confused.

“If somethings wrong, you can tell me,” Leo continued as he took a step closer to Donnie, “are you feeling sick or something?”

“Uh... No, I'm fine,” he chuckled, albeit a bit uncomfortably, Donnie chuckled.

Leo continued. “Is it insomnia?” He took another step closer, now on Donnie’s side of the pad. He knew that sometimes Donnie experienced insomnia, the family wasn’t sure if it was chronic or just because of how much coffee purple always consumed, but when he did get insomnia, he got it bad. “You were up pretty late last night.”

Donnie scoffed with a wavering smile, “so where you!”

“Yeah, but you stayed up! It’s okay if somethings wrong, Donnie,”  Leo put a hand on his arms, “just tell me.”

Donnie shoved Leo’s hand off, his voice rising. “I’m fine!”

“I don’t think you are!”

“I’m fine, Leo!” Leo took a step back at the shout. Donnie wasn’t looking at him now, but he was glaring uncomfortably as his eyes darted around trying to find something to focus on. Donnie flipped his hood on and straightened with a sigh. That weight was growing uncomfortable in Leo’s stomach, so he picked up his water bottle and took a chug to try and drown the feeling. It didn’t help. 

“Can I have some of your water?” He didn’t know why, but the request put goosebumps on his skin. Donnie hated backwash, he was the guy who would just buy you a drink if you asked for some of his own, and Leo was already halfway through the cheap plastic bottle. Donnie held his hand out expectantly.

With a brief hesitation, Leo put the bottle in his hand wordlessly, stepping off the dance pad as his brother took a few swallows. He didn’t feel like dancing anymore, or maybe he just didn’t want to be in the same room as Purple.

“Thanks, here,” Donnie smiled awkwardly as he reached the water back towards Leo.

“You can have it.” Donnie’s smile dropped into a blank stare and it sent a chill down Leo’s shell, “i’m not thirsty right now.”

Leo left the room, but neither the chill, the goosebumps, or the weight left him as he could feel a stare tracing him as he walked.

[ravenwolfie97]

2020 Art Summary

Yep, it’s 2021 already. 2020 is finally over. It felt like it lasted forever, and it felt like the end would never come, but here we are. Crazy how the time flew by.

I felt like I didn’t get much art done this year because of Current World Event, but I made a lot more than I thought I did. Even some of my new favorite pieces came out of this year, so I think that’s worth celebrating and looking back upon!

I was insanely productive during the first month of 2020, and looking back I was surprised at all the stuff I did, but then I remembered that that winter season was actually one of the best times of my life! I started being more socially involved, and I think my newfound drive at the time translated into all the art I pumped out this month. This is just a small fraction of what I made in January, but I only have so much space. Quite a few complex pieces in both style exploration and polishing my own style.

Apparently February was a rather intimate month. Things began to slow down in terms of my own art here, with me spending more time in social settings and school work ramping up, I didn’t have as much time to coop up in my room to draw. I did wanna do something for a friend’s Valentine’s Day OC art challenge, so I drew my lovey-dovey couple from Dance of 1000 Words havin’ a dance. Nothing actually came of that challenge, but it was fun to do regardless.

One of the things I was most proud of in the winter season was making more friends, and one of the closest friends I made was completely coincidental. I met a person named Kiri on the bus one night I decided to volunteer somewhere by myself, and we ended up chatting and getting along. They quickly told me their tumblr username, and I shot them a message immediately after they left. A couple days later, we met up for brunch, and we started becoming really close friends and creative partners!

Not much else happened in March cuz that’s when Current World Event started becoming an issue, but Kiri and I still kept in close touch and we randomly started developing a concept for a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Galar Edition. These are a handful of characters we thought up, with Skipper the Scorbunny and Dross the Dreepy as the main characters, Morgrem as the main antagonist, and some shopkeepers such as those of the Greedent Bank and the Indeedee General Store. This was also my first time drawing all of these Galar Pokemon (except Scorbunny, but I also made Skipper a bit more unique than a regular Scorbunny).

Lots of events happened this month. First of all, Steven Universe Future ended, one of my favorite and most influential shows was no longer continuing. I had to do something as tribute, both as a send-off to one of the greatest cartoons in the world and as a cathartic release for my feelings towards it.

A while later, I got the opportunity to start playing an MMO in beta called Fer.al, by the same people who made Animal Jam, which coincidentally I had also beta tested for back in the day. I ended up getting really attached to my first character, a Senri I named Sasha, and though I’ve made more characters than them since, they’re still my absolute favorite. Though I haven’t touched the game in a few months, I was really engrossed for a long time and enjoyed playing through the beta and early access phases.

At the end of the month, some friends of mine invited to a roleplay group with some mutuals, and we all played characters in a crime syndicate. Just a bunch of ragtag thieves and criminals who ended up together in order to protect an artifact called the Crown of Thieves, which was essentially a flag to be taken by other groups to prove that they are the best thieves in the land. My character was based heavily on my sona (if it wasn’t obvious) and was also influenced by Cloud Strife, since the FFVII Remake had just come out and I was super into watching the cutscenes at the time. My character’s (code)name is Valkyrie, and they are a mercenary, going between multiple different employers to carry out whatever duties they need to do. They have a more complicated backstory, but presently they were recently hired by recommendation of their friend Shark (played by @shmoots-universe​ who is also My friend now ily maya) who works with a group called the Court Cards who are currently in possession of the Crown of Thieves. Valk never really had a place to call home, but staying with this group of people had to be the closest they could get to that feeling. They still sleep with a knife under their pillow because of trust issue but that’s okay.

Okay, so technically these examples started in April, but I continued making content with them in May, and the month was just pretty void of art in general, so here I am addressing them.

There were two main things I worked on this month: a Steven Universe AU of my own and the whole #sixfanarts thing that kicked off around then. Let’s start with the fanart bits. I did two and a half of them (six in April and nine in May), and it was so much fun to be able to draw stuff I don’t normally do! My personal favorites are shown here: Blake Belladonna from RWBY, Roll from Megaman, Yuki Konno from Sword Art Online, and Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The other thing I’d been planning for a while was a Steven Universe AU, probably to cope with the show being over but also because I was inspired by a lot of those SU AU artists I started following at the time. I won’t share the details here because it’s gonna have its own blog at some point, but the example I’ve shown here is of a comic I made loosely in order to introduce a divergence in the plot of the story as well as introduce a character unique to my AU. It was a lot of fun figuring out how to draw the characters and get a feel for the style.

As the year progressed, my amount of art I made per month began to dwindle, this time mostly because school was kicking my ass especially hard with finals. However, I took what time I had to get some backburner pieces finished, like the Tigerlily picture which I sketched out a couple months back, and the Gunvolt picture which I started working on SIX YEARS AGO. I don’t quite know why I got the urge to work on it again after so long, but it was nice to finally realize. The other drawing for DOTS was done in the dead of night but I was really happy with how it came out.

Despite only having two summer classes left of school, this month was really rough because they demanded a lot of my time and attention. I did not have the gumption to do anything digital, so I stuck to my sketchbook to get out what I felt like getting out.

My friends and I did a stream of the game Helltaker, and I really enjoyed the concept, so in following my friends I made my own Helltaker demon OC named Raksha the Ravenous Demon (it’s a pun but also got mythical insp). I also got super into Hazbin Hotel at this point, mostly because the Addict music video dropped and I couldn’t get enough of it, so I doodled Angel Dust cuz I felt like it. The other drawing I did was actually a free commission I gave a friend of mine as a prize for a trivia game show I ran back in June. He along with a couple other friends got some free drawings from me for getting the top three scores, and this one in particular was fun because of how interesting it was. He wanted me to draw a video game reviewer called the Irate Gamer from a specific moment, and I decided to go ham and just make it as dramatic as possible.

University classes finally wrapped up and right after that I was in the process of moving out of my apartment and getting adjusted to living with my parents again. I did a couple of agg.io drawing sessions with my friends from the Court Cards group as well as a new Dungeons and Dragons homebrew group I had joined. I drew some more of Valkyrie and came up with a design for my DND character Qakuqtuq (or Kai for short). He is monkey grandpa and I love him.

My main focus was on finishing a polished piece for my friend Cake, whose birthday was in the upcoming month. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, so I put a lot of time into getting more detailed and making them look good. In addition to that, I did a few TOME doodles just for fun. The creature on the bottom was for this month’s art challenge on my Discord server where we made original TOMERPG monsters, and I created Hundylow, a Crystal-element monster based on the Grindylow from English folklore.

This month was a lot more productive than the past few had been. I tried to do a 31-day art challenge called Creatober but failed to get past the third prompt because I was still swamped with other work. I’m still happy with what little I did, including the piece with my characters Kyle and Guarudan from DSWD.

I don’t remember how, but I also suddenly rediscovered an old Flipnote Hatena series called Tales of LostClan, a Warriors fan series that I would say was the most obscure thing I’ve ever been super invested in. It was what got me into the actual Warriors books, and I liked it so much I redrew the animations into a comic... twice. Didn’t get nearly as far the second time but clearly my love for this little fanfiction had not waned after nearly a decade. I felt like drawing a book cover/movie poster for the series, just to get it out there and see how much I’ve improved over all that time.

Also I felt like making a vampiresona just before Halloween because I never dress up for Halloween in art (or real life anymore, for that matter), and I wanted to do something like that for once. It was short-lived but I really liked the design!

The focus of this month was definitely on Pokemon stuff. As per usual I contributed to the current Gotta Draw ‘Em All collab, and I was tasked to draw Regieleki. It was really fun to figure out how to make it stand out and look like it was made of electricity.

I also committed a lot of my spare time to my Fakemon Gym Leaders, as I had been working on bringing them to life in the past year or so now. As of this post, I’ve finished rendering their full body poses and gym badges, but I’m still working on completing all eight VS portraits, the first half of which are shown here.

I... didn’t draw anything this month, actually. What I’m showing here was worked on in the last few days but has actually been in progress for a couple of months, and I just finished it earlier today, in 2021. But I needed to show something off, and it’s also about time I mentioned it.

Back in October, I kept seeing people rave about this game called Genshin Impact, and I was interested but not so much as to start playing it... until my friends started playing and I was like “fuck it, let’s download it”. Since that day, I have been super immersed and in love with this game, to the point I came up with my own canon based on my gameplay experiences. This also included the creation of an original player character: Astra, the non-binary Traveller. And now, I’ve finally drawn them and brought them to life.

It has been one hell of a year. I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows in 2020, lots of changes, and I have now officially moved onto the next chapter of my life now that my time at university is finally over. I’m very excited for what 2021 has to offer, and I’m going to go forward with great ambition.

[kendrixtermina]

The Team Dynamics of the Three Houses

Essay time! =D

Part One: Team Makeup and Thematic Framework Blue Lions

Overarching Theme: Classic basic fantasy archetypes but with a dark twist (We have Prince Charming/ Guilt-ridden softboy standard-issue JRPG protagonist, Handsome Lech/Idiot Friend, Standoffish Rival, Gentleman Thief, Lady Knight, Sweet nice healer, Adorable spellcaster Girl, the Gentle Giant etc. )

Composition: Has the most people with crests, and the one guy with a naturally occurring major crest. Foreshadows how the crest obsession is particularly bad here, due to Faerghus’ harsh environment and a society that’s both religious and has a serious element of hero worship

History: Notably the most tight-knit group. Everyone knows each other already. It’s basically Dimitri, Dimitri’s longtime best friends, the daughter of Dimitri’s former instructor who heard lots of stories about him and her super nice BFF who gets along with everyone... and Ashe, who didn’t know the others until the academy, but since he is a honest sweety who loves cooking and knight stories, he hits it off with the others right away. 

Atmosphere: Everyone has kind of the same hobbies (cooking, handicrafts, weapons collecting, knight stuff) and a lot of history, some posters have remarked on missing the “family ambiente” in the other routes but since the bonds are stronger they’re also more charged, it’s also been said that it’s the group with the most inter-team drama, especially when you feature in their relatives - You have Dimitri’s whole character arc, all the family drama between the Fraldariuses and the Dominics, Ingrid’s hangups regarding poor Dedue etc.

As expected if you recruit any of them they’ll kinda have a hard time going after their old home, even the tsundere ones. 

The Leader’s position: For all that Dimitri’s friends refuse to drop his honorifics they really are his friends. They’re just all kinda polite with the obvious exception of Felix, and he’s largely tsundere. Despite the afore mentioned drama we see plenty of Dimitri just hanging out with his friends and even coming to them for help, he’s really just one of the bunch . 

Since Faerghus is in chaos everyone’s pinning a lot of hopes on Dimitri and it’s not like he’s completely unaware of that or doesn’t have the corresponding sense of duty, he’s always torn between that and his revenge plan which eventually just takes over. He pursues this entirely on his own, too, with not even Dedue knowing what he’s sneaking around the library for. 

How this “flavors” part one: Gives it a very “personal” touch. Faerghus, it’s culture, recent past and current state of chaos are fleshed out a lot (we learn plenty about the Alliance and the Empire but Claude and Edelgard have greater scope plans) and since a lot of the part I missions concern the instabilities in the kingdom they affect the characters directly. Basically since they’re more “regular” fantasy protagonists we gotta hit em all with the Drama hammer to keep things fresh. And that’s how it continues - They follow Dimitri because of personal loyalty (both toward him specifically, and because it’s in their culture), and Dimitri just wants to protect (or avenge) the people he cares about. 

How this Ties into The Themes: The Kingdom route eventually becomes very much a Power of Friendship story where they all stick it out with Dimitri in his time of need because he’s their friend and they want to be there for him and that makes a lot more sense if there was a big emphasis on friendship/ found family before that, and of course their friendship is what eventually helps him turn his life around. 

How does Byleth fit into this: Dimitri, like Hubert and Leonie, can be filed into the box of those who aren’t immediately awed by their heroic charisma. He doesn’t really get people who aren’t as outwardly expressive as him (eg. Edelgard) But unlike, say, Leonie, Dimitri has no settings between crushkilldestroy and stilted politeness and seldom expresses or responds to overt hostility most of the time. On the one hand there’s a side to him that’s a bit judgemental and vindictive, but that extends to himself too so he’s very ashamed of his flaws and is afraid that he won’t be accepted, so he projects outward that same acceptance that he likes to receive.

So the end result is that he goes out of his way to befriend Byleth, he encourages everyone to speak with them in a familiar manner, insists that they join the victory celebrations etc. Then of course he gets to see that they’re actually quite supportive and so in time they become, as Dimitri puts it “the heart of the group”.

By the time they find out that Dimitri ever disliked them, that’s long past. He’s a very high-empathy, emotional person so once he likes you he really likes you and will regard your troubles like his own. Some ppl might say that maybe the bond feels more special since it took longer to “earn”. He’s practically ready to swear a blood oath with them once Jeralt dies.  There’s an unappreciated Symmetry here like he goes through the trouble to ‘defrost’ them, and then they return the favor by supporting him through his difficult times when they perhaps get to see the ugliest side of him.

Further Dynamic Notes:

So you have a dynamic of working past/ understanding and accepting each other despite one’s flaws and differences. (whereas Claude and Edelgard are interested in Byleth right away, because they’re unusual, but in slightly different ways - Claude can kinda relate to the experience of sticking out itself but is still stumped by being unable to read them, whereas Edelgard sticks out in the same way  so you’re actually on the same wavelenght to begin with)

“opposites attract” specifically in the way that they balance each other out. A cool steadfast leader type certainly has a grounding effect on Dimitri as a very reactive person, but he also pulls them into the ‘normal’ world a bit after they spend all this time just wandering the world like all places are the same to them. They basically put the magic destiny on the backburner to help him out. They still become archbishop and all to fit the standard fantasy look of it all but not like full messiah like on the church route

Even after the timeskip Byleth kinda plays the mentor role or at least that of the dominant person/ big spoon in the relationship (though Dimitri ends up waaay taler than them especially fem Byleth), “Excuse me this is my emotional support mercenary”

If you go the platonic route you very much stay at „mentor“, Byleth is basically the brains of the operation post timeskip ‘cause the old Mitya can‘t come to the phone right now and Gilbert and Rodrigue would follow him off a cliff

Plot wise, their contribution is to stop the revenge trip when it gets to be a too obvious kamikaze stunt, which they, as a relative outsider to Faerghus and experienced, pragmatic fighter, would do when someone like Gilbert would not

Character journey wise, they refuse to give up on Dimitri and still see the good in him so that he eventually comes to a point where he could envision his own redemption/ come to accept/forgive himself and learn that its okay to move on and live his own life

Byleth can be said to somewhat even out the flaws in everyone‘s leadership styles (while the house leaders help Byleth find their own direction – i didnt come up with this alone there was a brilliant post a while ago that i cant find rn) – In Dimitri‘s case, he has authority/credibility/integrity („Pathos“), being the rightful king with many loyal followers,  and emotional/ personal leadership as an emphatetic person who inspired respect for his character („Ethos“) but is lacking in plans („Logos“)

Golden Deer

Overarching Theme:  Ragtag Bunch of misfits /Unlikely Heroes (let’s see, we have trickster turned lying politician, upper-class twit turned opportunistic conservative, lazy rich girl,  shy glasses boy and his best friend dumb muscle, cursed werewolf girl, stuckup teen genius and the mean money obsessed one )

Composition: Has the most honest-to-goodness commoners - and they largely got in on their own merits, too, while almost all the others had connections. You have a few peeps from the Alliance’s prominent merchant class and one completely ordinary village person whose father was a simple hunter. 

History: Bar the two merchant kids none of them know each other and even they’ve been a little estranged since the demise of Rafael’s parents. There are a few backstory connections (Such as Lorenz’ dad basically having murdered everybody’s dead relatives, or Leonie’s village being in his territory) but they’re largely indirect. They come from a range of different backgrounds and life experiences. Even Claude just showed up the year before and doesn’t know anybody. Of course this is all so you can watch them grow into a team on-screen all leading up to Claude’s epic speech about how they got along despite being from different backgrounds (or be surprised if they show up as one post-timeskip)  

Unlike Dedue or Hubert, Hilda can still be napped early on because she doesn’t really become Claude’s right-hand person until halfway through part oneIf you recruit any of the deer they’ll say that they didn’t have that much ties to their homeland anyways. 

Atmosphere: These are definitely Garreg Magh’s party animals.  Or like a bunch of theatre kids. They’re tremendous fun. “Less complicated” as Claude puts it though some have missed the intensity/drama of the other bunches. The Alliance itself might be full of political intrigues but this younger generation is fairly chill with the important exceptions that are Leonie and Lysithea but Leonie’s lack of chill is largely Byleth-specific, she’s plenty chill in her other supports, and though Lysithea probably donated all the extra chill for the other deer and hence doesn’t have any left, the others  love her anyways wether she wants to or not because try as she might she can’t really get an argument out of them. 

This certainly jives well with Claude’s “friendly surface level extrovert” gimmick they all get along on a surface level and you’ll be hard-pressed to find an ounce of social skills in the Black Eagle house, and the Lions have the Drama Moments, but some have also perceived the deer as not quite as open. 

At the same time they’re not superficial. We have a large abundance of Artsy Ones, we have Ignatz, Claude and Lorenz both write poetry, Leonie isn’t good at it but she does draw etc There’s enough insightful ones for depht and insight to be a significant undercurrent in the group dynamics. They all have different sortts of insight - Hilda can read people well, Ignatz has this sort of intuuitive thoughtful understanding, Lysithea is observant and logically astute, Leonie has street smarts etc. 

The Leader’s position: Precarious. No one knows him, no one trusts him. He just showed up one day, very suspicious timing, not long after his uncle dropped dead (that was Lorenz’ dad but it’s not like anyone knows) and then he’s a shifty weirdo who cannot help being slightly unnerving despite his friendly extroverted demeanor. 

Still he’s a big believer in teamwork, appreciates the value in everyone’s perspective and he can do the friendly extroverted charm well enough to eventually win over most people based on that, though its not until waay after the timeskip that he even considers letting anyone past the soft outer layer.  (In Recruited, Raphael remembers him mainly a lover of feats and merriment)

The longer the story goes on the more the Deer transition to being “Claude’s jolly detective bureau” in which he pulls on all their individual insight for maximum info collection. 

How this “flavors” part one:  It’s taken up largely by Claude’s search for information with the various events being seen in that light.

Claude’s first reaction is often to ask questions and be curious with the emotional response hitting him somewhat later, though it’s definitely also that he keeps up a cheerful face for the team. 

Ironically he’s the only one who came to Garreg Magh for it’s intended purpose: To get a ruler’s education and do networking. Dimitri and Edelgard were already onto Thales courtesy of his having killed their families, him searching on his own, her making preparations for her takeover, and Claude doesn’t know - it’s probably a game balance thing because Claude is the smartest person in the game and if he started out with all the info there would be no plot. 

How this Ties into The Themes: It all builds towards Claude’s big speech about people from different backgrounds coming together. It’s like a microcosm for what he wants to do with the world, to bring people from different places and backgrounds together and have them understand each other.

Lorenz takes until halfway through part II to come around, but come around he does. (markedly, this happens only on Claude’s route, otherwise he sticks with the empire out of self-preservation and opportunism, though he gladly jumps ship to join the kingdom. )

How does Byleth fit into this:  Now I‘ve seen some people saying that Claude initially didn‘t like Byleth or just wanted to use them, but I don‘t think that‘s true. I do think he actually liked them, found them interesting and wanted to befriend them. But Claude, on principle, doesn‘t trust easily, and will in any interaction look at how he can use it.

It‘s a habit born out of both natural curiosity and intelligence (What the 12type eneagramm calls a „Mercury“ Personality type) and the need to survive in a hostile environment where people tried to kill him as a child, and as such it‘s automatic second nature. He has a strong overruling self-preservation instinct.  Claude is suspicious and will interogate people completely independent of how much he likes them. No amount of like makes him trust implicitly.

He doesn‘t have a bad impression like Dimitri, but he doesn‘t immediately click like Edelgard and the curve is pretty nonlinear: With Dimitri we have a clear progression from dislike to like and then the reversal where Dimitri had defrosted Byleth and now Byleth must defrost Dimitri. With Edelgard she likes them immediately out of similarity (like Felix likes Byleth, or like Edelgard likes Lysithea and Petra), and the difficulty/drama only comes later when Byleth‘s connection to the church and Edelgard‘s plots become apparent, but mostly she‘s sad that she‘s „destined“ to be enemies with this person she likes, her level of like never goes down. Claude meanwhile – you might compare him with Dorothea. He‘s used to being able to charm people as well as read them, and Byleth is not only a brick wall, but remains one upon closer examination. They really don‘t know about their past – but Claude takes that as evasions and becomes more and more suspicious.

A big turning point here is the Jeralt situation, where Byleth finally opens up and tells him everything, and Claude realizes they‘re not hiding. And that‘s something I really love about their dynamic – Byleth tells him all and Claude is so interested in them and looks out for them.

Though you could assign each of the three a „turning point“ after which they open up - The diary for Claude (which shows him that Byleth really isn‘t hiding anything) Flayn‘s dissapearance for Dimitri (which convinces him that Byleth cares) and the holy tomb scene for Edelgard (which shows her that Byleth won‘t betray her)

Further Dynamic Notes:

Claude and Byleth relate because they both stick out, but it‘s notably about the experience of sticking out in and of itself, whereas in Edelgard‘s case they stick out in the same way. They’re also alike in that they only found out some secrets about themselves when they were already young adults, Byleth’s magical destiny, and Claude finding out he was related to the ruling house. From how he mentions “not being raised in the lap of luxury” and how his royal connections in Almyra are also “distant”, he might in fact have been raised in a normal village and not known he was the king’s bastard son for some time, though once the secret was out he definitely got some princely instruction like training with Nader. 

The dynamic both interpersonally and as an action duo is very much a complementary one. Dimitri is very different and has that sorta morality chain dynamic going on. And though they each have their specialties that the other is lowkey jelly of Edelgard and Byleth actually fill a fairly similar niche as the charismatic superhumanly powerful field commander. Meanwhile with Claude there’s a division of labor: Claude’s the planner and Byleth’s the enforcer. He repeatedly observes that his plans would be way less effective without someone of Byleth’s caliber to carry them out.

Out of the three lords Claude is the only one where you get the sense that Byleth works for Claude post-timeskip or that Byleth becomes his subordinate. Dimitri’s lost without them, and while Edelgard offers them a formal position as royal advisor after the mock battle and gets this line about how they can’t yell orders at her in public now that she’s the emperor, but it’s phrased in such a way to suggest that she just wants them to yell orders at her discreetly. They certainly balance out Claude’s presentability/trustworthyness problem the way that Hubert quickly puts them in charge of morale to patch Edelgard’s PR shortcomings, but Hubert pretty much says this to Byleth’s face whereas Claude is the only one who knows where the ship is going for the majority of verdant wind. And in the end he’s like “Babysit fodlan for me while I finish world peace” He’s also the dominant one on an interpersonal level, he gives Byleth this speech about how they should use their position more confidently and promise to detective out their mysterious past for them. He also tries dropping hints that maybe Rhea’s not to be trusted though Byleth’s dialogue options are written to suggest that they bought her maternal act and want her back – some ppl said but this way really expositions that „well meaning deception“ aspect of Claude‘s character. He frequently steers ppl toward something they don‘t want but with the hope that they‘ll want it eventually. Perhaps he could be said to have a very fluid/dynamic view of things and people; The other two lords view them more as fixed, hence „I respectfully disagree… lets settle this by stabbing each other“ 

The platonic end result is your basic Epic Friendship, tell each other everything, very supportive, look out for each other, take down a zombie warrior together in an epic team attack, what more could you want I think I‘ve made a whole post about what a good friendo Claude is, initial ulterior motives nonwithstanding… He certainly had strategic advantages in the back of his mind but I don‘t think he ever faked liking Byleth

Plot wise, having The Messiah on his team gives Claude a bargaining chip to seize control of the church with its greater influence. On the other routes, he wisely refuses to touch that particular hot potato with a ten foot pole.

Character wise Byleth‘s influence largely serves to mitigate his jaded cynism. He starts to actually believe his far-flung dreams might happen, so he plays far less defensively than on the other routes.

Claude is smart and charismatic („Logos“ and „Ethos“), his main problem is that nobody trusts him. This is a bit more dimensional than just a flaw though, because he hides his real goals (though they are not truly sinister) both to avoid fights with people who would oppose these goals (contrast Edelgard who declares her intentions openly and deals with the fallout, so she has to fight the knights whereas claude manipulates them) and get the chance to gradually convince them and reveal the truth once ppl agree, also he‘s more a tactician than a strategist and often changes his plans in accordance with what he thinks is doable under the circumstances, and not telling what his plans are gives him the freedom to do that – either way, a downside of that is that no one trusts him. He lacks credibility and, having shown up out of nowhere, has less loyalty and support. Byleth, as a chrch-sanctioned charismatic figurehead, naturally mitigates that.

Black Eagles 

Overarching Theme: Subverted Villain tropes. We have Emperor Evulz / mad science supersoldier, Black Mage classic,  Seditious Chancellor Junior, Sexy Mage, Eccentric Scholar, Pretty Barbarian, Fighting Obsessed Blood Knight and Antisocial Sniper

Composition: It‘s nobles all the way down, even the one commoner used to be famous and is from the capital where all the wealthy ppl live (as opposed to the decentralied alliance and the very spartan kingdom nobles) – The capital‘s a heaven for culture and sophistication but you also see the evident elitism/corruption/inequality problem going on. In keeping with Adrestia being more secular, Ferdinand‘s the only one who‘s explicitly stated to be a believer (in the Marianne support) and he‘s not even super devout

One should also appreciate the irony that the side with the ‚saintly‘ crests is now against the church whereas Faerghus, ruled by the descendants of Nemesis‘ former allies and where he used to have his stronghold are now fighting for the church. But should you go with the church route it also makes a kind of sense as they‘d be goig back to the empire‘s distant origins in a sense.

History:  They all vaguely know/ have heard of each other due to their parents being co-workers or living in the same town, many have at least met each other but at the same time they‘re not BFF like the Lions and many take a bit to warm up to each other.

Another thing of note is that while many of the Lions‘ families were also friends and have been associates since the days of Nemesis, many of the backstory connections for the adrestian studenrs would seem to predispose them to being foes rather than friends, half their dads‘ essentially dethroned Edelgard‘s and are various degrees of complicit in what happened to her siblings, Petra was basically taken hostage by the previous administration, Dorothea has good reason to have beef with the local rich people etc

Atmosphere: I‘ve seen some ppl who played the other routes first say things like how they were struck by how individualistic they are and how there‘s far less team cohesion, or how they „all seem to hate each other“ - I don‘t think that‘s correct assesment but they definitely are quirky, independent-minded or both. They scamper off in all directions when introduced and definitely don‘t bother with formal politeness or friendly facades, if they‘re annoyed with you most of them will probably say so. Even Bernie gives Ferdinand a lecture once XD They‘re basically goth. Though I do think it‘s sorely underappreciated that there definitely IS friendship and admiration between them esp. later in the story, admiration & appreciation being key factors especially since they‘re none too easily impressed.

Of course being independent minded makes it likely that they wouldn‘t blindly follow a leader who‘s up to no good, but it would make them just as suitable to participate in a rebellion

Another thing of note is that while the Kingdom nobles all learned to hold sharp objects in the nusery and many of the deer have street smarts or survival experience having had to live through tough circumstances most of the Eagles are complete greenhorns when you first deploy them – sure many have seen their share of effed up stuff but not in a warlike setting. And you have many of the sensitive/reluctant ones like Bernie, Linny and Dorothea. This of course could either make you think twice about the church sending them on missions or predispose you toward Flayns brand of pacifism.

Of course this just leads to Hubert and Edelgard (and to a lesser extent Petra) to clearly stand out as the experienced ones. El-chan and Hubie dear have most definitely killed a man before. The rest of them will definitely have to measure up to pick up the slack after the two of them leave.

The trajectory certainly goes differently, in CF they all return notably more confident after the timeskip (most notably with Bernie) perhaps in keeping with how Edelgard believes in & promotes self-reliance whereas in Silver Snow they never quite stop being like „AAAAA“ though I suppose the point is that they get their act together and do the deed regardless.

The Leader’s position: Absolute both in terms of power (sorry Ferdie) and dynamics. Definite ‚student council president‘ vibe, she largely interacts with them as a taskmaster/ to make them do their homework. She markedly doesn‘t like this and would like to be one of the bunch but genuinely finds it hard to step out of boss mode.

She does try her best to cultivate an equal atmosphere and for what it‘s worth most do drop the honorifics and tell her when they disagree.  

How this “flavors” part one: The emphasis is certainly on expositioning how much everything in the setting sucks especially on the church‘s horribleness, I mean in the end if she‘s essentially like „We‘ve all seen it this past year“ but of course there‘s also definite foreshadowing that sHE is up to something, there‘s certainly peeps who picked her ‚cause she‘s pretty and she looked more put-together/less obviously dodgy than the others but then didn‘t personal taste wise jive with her character. The whole scene after Jeralt‘s death is definitely a point where you either decide you hate her or love her forever; You get both „WTF“ and „I get it“ type of dialogue options.  

How this Ties into The Themes:

No matter what route yo pick you essentially get a story about going your own way and putting right what the previous generations done fucked up – wether they do this by leading Adrestia back to its holy origins, or by backing Edelgard‘s revolution.

On a political level they either go against their homeland or the previous administration, and personally they‘re all sorta expected to take over their parents‘s job and follow these expectations of proper nobility that they have no interest in and many of them renounce their titles or cut ties with their folks. Only Ferdinand particularly wants his fathers job and even them he means to do it very differently. The happy ending, for most of the eagles, is getting to choose their own paths

How does Byleth fit into this: 

Mostly, they shift the team dynamics from Edelgard as the absolute leader in a lofty, distanced position to her coming closer to being „one of the group“ working under Byleth.

There‘s a reason she later names her elite troop the „Black Eagle Strike force“ in honor of their time at the academy. This is almost the bigger difference, because Byleth isn‘t there for the timeskip. The big change is caused by creating this situation where all the black eagles leave with Edelgard, so she knows she can trust them and having real allies needs the slithers less.

It‘s very hard for her to step out of boss mode for reasons ranging from her personality, backstory, monarch obligations and fear of vulnerability, but having Byleth be the boss for once helps. Some of her most formative experiences were a) Her family betrayed by almost all its allies including her own uncle b) being helplessly dragged around as a hostage. She wants to avoid being helpless ever again at all costs and thus grew to be a very proactive decisive adult which is mostly a good thing but can cause her tome come off blunt and unyielding at times. I mean when she‘s worried that Hubert, her best friend, is hiding some worrysome secret from her she‘s like „Tell me that‘s an order!“ and when he expertly sidesteps that (since he knows her well and understands that she wouldn‘t actually force it out of him) she‘s stumped and doesn‘t know how to tell him that she‘s worried about him – and this is a guy she knows since forever. With the other eagles she really looks out for them but can only really show it through her „leader“ persona, she has this one trick, and when it doesn‘t work (like with Caspar or Linhardt who don‘t really want anyone to boss them around or talk politics) she‘s stumped.

This is hugely mitigated when another person of her caliber shows up with whom she can share the responsibility or even leave it to them so she learns to allow herself to be soft and do stuff like admit her doubts, this starts with Byleth but also radiates into the other relationships. See Caspar and Linhard revising their bad first impressions of her later in the support chains

Further dynamics notes:

A recurring theme is being misunderstood (outright stated in the introduction and that one quote by ladislava – and also in the church route dialogues where Seteth says that „the people will never understand her ideals“ ) and finding someone who understands, which is different from Claude and Dimitri who ultimately want the world at large to understand and accept them. Edelgard has given up on that long ago - her version of the „pep talk“ scene implies she thinks its impossible to truly understand anothers sorrow – I like to think that after her siblings died she found great comfort in Hubert being „not much for condolences“ and talking plans rather than sympathies while everyone else was showing pity for something they couldnt understand. Dimitri is basically traumatized (he relates to Dedue about losing everything and thats why they‘re so tight knit), Claude is basically an outcast and relates to all that dont quite fit in, but Edelgard… yes her family‘s dead much like Dimitri‘s, but in addition to that, she has been through an indescribable science fiction fantasy thing that no one has any context for. She views herself as so altered that she considers herself a whole different person and her past self basically dead. Hence someone like Byleth or Lysithea who could relate to all that is very, very tempting to her – we‘re not told if that‘s the truth or just her perception though, Hubert doesn‘t note her being extremly different, and later on she kinda admids that she herself distanced herself from other people.

Likewise the ship dynamic is ‚birds of a feather‘. Edelgard tells you right away: She feels that she and Byleth are similar and is drawn to them because of that. It‘s not just the mad science background,  both are stoic natural leaders with a bit of a dorky side. This goes both ways – While others are often mildly stumped by Byleth, she can read them pretty well and gets a lot of dialoue like „wow you‘re telling the truth“ or „I can tell you‘re lying“ - that happens so often that it‘s even used to hint that she‘s the flame emperor.

If you had to name a dominant person it would probably be Byleth but overall this combination is disntinguished by being relatively equal and balanced. She likes having Byleth‘s support but repeatedly mentions wanting to support Byleth as well  - As she says after the big mock battle, „sometimes its better to have someone to rely on to support each other through the darkness“. Team dynamics wise they feel a similar niche – the abnormally powerful, stoic charismatic leader who inspires many followers and is a gifted field commander. When they‘re not allies they are foils after all. But as pointed out in their A support despite their similarities each of them have their own particular strenghts that the other envies – Byleth is a better tactician and ultimately better at moral support (though their time powers help). On the flipside, Edelgard is more proactive whereas Byleth struggles with that, and at least her 22 year old self probably has more raw strenght (judging by her stats total and how they‘re evenly matched in the church route reunion cinematic though she isn‘t using her preferred weapon)

If you don‘t marry her then the note the A support ends on would suggest that Byleth sorta gets adopted as a honorary big sister/brother with how El asks them to use her childhood nickname and just lampshading the sense of kinship between them – the platonic outcome is a family bond, which buils as much on similarity and alikeness as their romantic outcome

Plot wise, Byleth‘s presence gives Edelgard something that she wouldn‘t otherwise have: Reliable allies. This means not just Byleth themselves, but the other Black Eagles whom she feels are more firmly on her side as they never defended Garreg Mach from her assault. As she puts it when she tries to recruit you as the „Flame Emperor“, the slighterers will go around causinga strocities but with the sword of the creator on her side she could courttail that better and generally has less need to coorperate even for purely pragmatic reasons so she is free to weaken them ahead of time, kills Cornelia right away rather than work with her etc. Interestingly this is why the front lines are actually further back when Byleth returns than they are in the other routes, but then the war ends the quickest.  

Character journey wise, Edelgard goes from being convinced that she has to give up everything to be a tough leader to allowing herself to just be a person, cummulating in the ending where she pulls a washington/cincinatus, abdicates and gets a normal life.

In terms of leadership style, Edelgard has „Logos“ and „Pathos“ to spare, she‘s described as a remarkable leader who inspires remarkable devotion and has a cause/ rationale – but she‘s got her weakness with inspiring loyalty on an interpersonal level. The followers are loyal to the cause – Edelgard herself is perceived as unapproachable and shady/unsavory, see Dimitri‘s rant about how she‘s „strong“, or statements by herself and Ladislava that people tend to misunderstand her. As a superhuman science experiment she is by definition not a „relatable“ leader. So once Byleth proves trustworthy Hubert immediately puts them in charge of morale and of support/pep talking the reluctant recruits.

(In part II we‘ll get into decision making processes but I think here we have to separate by route rather than house since it’s most evident post-timeskip and dependent on plot events.)

Team Dynamics and Decisionmaking

Empire Route

Here, there is a very clear distinction between inner circle and outer circle. Edelgard and Hubert have their own thing going on and once you prove loyal, you’re in, and you get to see a whole different side to both of them, Edelgard lets down her guard, Hubert acts polite and sympathetic where he was previously suspicious and mocking, and they basically tell Byleth everything, including the unsavory pursuits that they keep secret from everyone else – but overall the secrecy, maintained for realpolitik reasons, never truly stops. Basically those three make all the decisions.

Notable is that if you’ve recruited Lysithea she hovers on the threshold between inner and outer circle. She was fed the cover story of the nuke being a church weapon (though she did’t buy it) but WAS told about the secret assault on Arianrhod. This is prolly cause Edelgard likes her, she can become her main advisor in their paired ending.

Kingdom Route

Dimitri describes himself as as someone who thinks change should come from the people and that the leadership should serve them, for all that he prefers to uphold the basic order of society, and this is reflected in his leadership style – though this also reflects that he is a ‚people person‘ rather than a planner, so the plans are left to his advisors like Byleth, Gilbert and Rodrigue. He is more the emotional/ spiritual lynchpin than the mind or will of the group.

In Azure Moon, especially later on, the decisions are really made by the entire group and you see them considering their next step together. Dimitri spills the backstory as soon as it comes up, telling everyone about his relationship with Edelgard for example.

In early part 2 this is at an extreme in that Byleth, Rodrigue and Gilbert are de facto making the decisions and Dimitri is at best a grumpy figurehead that they‘re putting up because they need him as a symbol, but at the same time he doesn‘t really compromise on his revenge obsession and is just dragging the whole team along/ not really reacting to how they are making him the lynchpin for their hopes. (though it is important to note that he didn‘t ask him too either – they decide to follow him out of friendship or loyalty to his house) yet inwardly Dimitri too is blindly following what he believes are his obligations.

A huge turning point is when he returns after the whole rain conversation and Byleth gets to ask him some variety of „What do you want to do“ in which Dimitri makes a step toward both inner and outer self-directedness, but precisely because of that becomes are more complete/better consensus leader.

I also want to stress that Claude and Edelgard LOVE togetherness and cooperation and equality as concepts every bit as much as Dimitri does they want to be one of the team but they find it difficult. And of course Dimitri’s style has its own flaws too

Alliance Route

While the Blue Lions decide everything together and either variation of the Black Eagles setup has an „inner circle“ that makes the decisions, in the Golden Dear that inner circle is basically just Claude.

Even Byleth doesn‘t find out his plans until part two, and it‘s later still till he comes clear with the team (and still doesn‘t reveal all but points to Cyril as a stand-in) Hilda and Lysithea are discernable as preferred right hand people, and Byleth and Marianne as special confidants, but in the end Claude rarely shows his real self and only he knows the plan. If Hilda and Lysithea pick up alot about him and his true self it‘s because of how observant THEY are and how much Hilda is basically a lot like him.

Claude does all the thinking and motivates followers (from Lorenz to the random merchans who support him) by promising them things they want – because even if he can‘t trust peopöle, he can trust their self-interest.

Church Route

Since you are with the church that is ideally a sort of benevolent parental authority under the supposition that people need guidance and that‘s a good thing it is perhaps fitting that though Byleth winds up the nominal leader, this is actually the route where they are more of a follower. They do watch Seteth says, who is doing what he believes is his duty and mission, and we have Flayn as an innocent, pacifistic voice.

They lost their dad, and the Nabateans are a sort of surrogate family. (wether its one that youre born into or marry into, the wiord „family“ is stressed) – they are the „inner circle“ making the decision and the empire kids, ragtag misfits estranged from their homes, follow. On the one hand they‘re going against their home country on the other they have the saint‘s blood and Adrestia USED to be church aligned so it also makes a kind of sense.

Among the Adrestian kids themselves, Ferdinand and Petra get a chance to shine as the ostensible leaders. They are stalward, competent leader-like people in CF too , but there they are more overshadowed by the much more experienced Hubert and Edelgard.  - Though when you think about it they are like „pure hero“ versions of them who were never forced to become as cold and pragmatic. Ferdinand, like Hubert, is a nobleman from a storied family who is proud of it but wants to fix its tarnished reputation from his corrupt father. Petra, like Edelgard, is a former political hostage who experienced hardship at a young age and worked her way up all on her own, being very serious and competent despite her young age. I prefer the version where they stay buds rly.

It‘s worth noting that Seteth, ‚Heir of Purpose‘, sees it as their families duty to protect Fodlan and is the only one really doing that – his brothers noped out, and Rhea, uneknowst to him, twisted „protect“ into „rule/subjugate“. One might question who gives him the right to decide things because his mom is magic but on the other hand he really is 100% benevolent and I see no sign that he has any greedy intentions especially in in Silver Snow, all the countries collapse and someone needs to keep order, he doesn‘t understand what the empire‘s doing and why just sees their agression and really is rising to the challenge of upholding peace because something needs to do something about the violence. He had withdrawn to protect his daughter but then in the end he‘s the last one who is really doing what Sothis would have wanted. He looks most like her too having the slightly darker, ‚spikier‘ hair.

Further Thoughts

I’m curious to see how Yuri, the Ashen Wolves, and Cindered Shadows compare/contrast to this and i theyll manage to make the dynamics sufficiently different so that its neither a carbon copy or a blabk mary sue ish superlative. 

I mean the other routes are so interesting to dissect because its a tradeof and all have their own flavor so really CS would do better to try to be “different” or, better yet,  “complementary” than “better” or “cooler”