#this was probably the main reason for this post
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chobblesomewrites · 3 days ago
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Grumbo Professional Esports AU (abandoned work)
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A collection of drabbles/scenes rearranged in chronological order featuring Team Coach Mumbo x Pro Player Grian. Warning; makes use of League of Legends/MOBA Mechanics. Unrealistic depiction of the esports scene.
No, this will not be fully written or edited. Prepare for weird pacing and incoherence. I'M JUST POSTING THIS SO I CAN STOP BEING ASKED ABOUT IT </3
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[ READ BELOW ]
Mumbo wasn't one for competitive games, but he had made exceptions from time to time. Those times mostly due to his online best friend wanting to drag him to experience almost anything and everything with him.
He wouldn't have even dreamed of touching MOBA games if it weren't for Grian begging him to, excusing that no one else but Mumbo was actually willing to deal with his competitive nature. He had first refused, firmly wanting to stick to his farming simulator games, but Grian knew too well how to act like a brat to get what he wanted.
So he found himself on [                ]’s tutorial screen, anxiously going through it while Grian remained in the Discord call with him, giggling at every noise he made every time he jumped from the sight of an enemy NPC.
“You lied when you said this game had a farming mechanic,” Mumbo accused his friend with a whine as he spam clicked on a highlighted enemy minion, clicking his tongue when he missed the gold.
Grian cackled, “Well, killing minions for gold is called farming. So technically I wasn't lying?”
Mumbo let out an audible huff of betrayal, which made Grian laugh even more as he tried killing his character to the minions out of spite.
Mumbo had thought he wouldn't be playing the game as often, for the main reason he had the game at all was because Grian occasionally didn't have anyone to play with, as he said. But he had plenty of friends so Mumbo didn't feel the need to open the game as he would probably be the last person on Grian's friendlist to be asked.
But dear lord was he wrong.
After getting bullied for his lack of game knowledge for one night, Grian kept inviting him to duo queue every single day. Mumbo would've been led to believe that Grian actually didn't have friends except for him if it weren't for their friends occasionally coming by to 5 man queue with them. But even then, that led Mumbo questioning even more of Grian's motives to specifically invite him of all people, adding to the fact that Grian apparently hated playing ADC but specifically only played it when in duo queue with Mumbo.
It was confusing. So, so confusing. Mumbo was so pants at the game yet Grian just kept inviting him nonetheless!
So, Mumbo thought; if Grian wanted to play with him that badly, he'd have to adjust his mentality to make sure that his best friend was actually having fun. He wasn't just here to keep Grian company anymore, he was here to now help Grian actually enjoy his games.
On weekday nights Grian would be too busy to get online, Mumbo used his free time to get on custom and try out other heroes outside of just support. He specifically tried mid laners in hopes to give Grian more opportunities to play roles outside of ADC, trying to prove that Mumbo was more than capable of handling himself!
He learned the map, how to invade, how to dodge, how to properly farm– everything. He needed to learn everything.
If it was for Grian, he'll take on everything.
[ DEFEAT ]
“....”
The call was silent, save for Grian who did horribly to muffle his laughter. Mumbo groaned in embarrassment into his hands, “Midlaning is hard,” he admitted in a mumble, which caused Grian to outright laugh into his mic.
“You didn't have to force yourself to try.”
“But you like playing jungle.” Mumbo pouted.
“Not all the time! Who on earth even says they like playing jungle?”
Mumbo sighed as he clicked off the after-game stats, returning back to their party lobby to see Grian already waiting to start the queue. The man already set himself back to the ADC role and it made Mumbo slump even more in guilt over his desk.
By some magical force, Grian probably felt his bad mood and he reassured with a smile, “I still think it's more fun if we're laning together.”
“You get to spoil me and you'd only have eyes for me!” Grian teased.
Mumbo felt himself flush red at that. Not knowing how to quip back, he simply said, “Shut up.”
5 man queues are always fun. It means Mumbo could just turn off his brain and listen to his friends talk and trash talk without having to say much because there's enough of them to hold the conversation together.
Mumbo was about to fully zone out while watching Grian’s character farm freely in their lane when he heard him speak up about something in their team's idle conversation on call.
“You know, I actually plan to be a professional gamer.”
From whatever conversation the call was going through, everyone in their friend group broke into laughter at Grian's admittance. Mumbo could hear Grian's pout as he tried to defend his dream, “I'm serious here!”
Their friends laughed even more, “How plausible would that even be as a job? We're just teenagers, dude. Who would wanna sign kids like us?”
Their words were obviously just trying to tease Grian, but Grian didn't take it lightly. The ADC went quiet as the friends in call continued on about how ridiculous of a scene it would be if anyone of them were to actually turn out to be 
Out of nowhere, Mumbo suddenly spoke up, “I think it's not impossible.”
The conversation paused and Mumbo suddenly felt conscious of the attention on his words. Nonetheless, he continued on, “I believe in you, if you are still going to try.”
“I'll try it with you.”
The call bursted into laughter again, even Grian couldn't help but giggle, which made Mumbo feel hot in the face from embarrassment. He spent the rest of the game making so many mistakes because the entire call kept teasing him for making such bold declarations.
He was able to live through 2 games of that until the other 3 friends in their team decided to log off, leaving him with Grian. Mumbo had thought that he would log off too, but he simply clicked the queue button without saying anything, leaving 
2 minutes into the queue, Grian finally spoke up, “I'm holding you up to that promise, you know.”
“You better go professional with me.”
Mumbo wonders if he's gonna regret promising that, given how ominous Grian makes it sound as if he's sold his soul to the devil. But if the devil were Grian, he finds that he doesn't really mind missing a part of himself.
Ever since that promise, Grian had been relentless with playing with Mumbo. Not that he wasn't always relentless before, but Grian was now determined to actually help Mumbo catch up to his level. They've even started custom 1v1s in hopes to improve.
Other people, if they were in Mumbo's position, would've been annoyed. Given how Grian tends to get frustrated eventually, Mumbo just takes it as a sign to be better. He couldn't slack.
He knew that Grian wasn't specifically frustrated at his skills, he was frustrated and anxious of the possibility that Mumbo wouldn't be able to sign with him if he didn't improve. They needed to do it together, Grian was stubborn to make sure of that fact.
So Mumbo didn't fault him for he loved him.
“Are you signed to a team?”
An account that was obviously a smurf had privately messaged him one time after a solo queue game Mumbo played while waiting for Grian. He ignored it, assuming that it was a scammer pretending to be a professional. He even went to quickly unfriend the account with this thought in mind and sat in the party lobby for a few minutes before a friend request came in.
“Xvoid,” Mumbo murmured out. He frowned and leaned back on his chair in thought, wondering if he's seen that username before. Probably in his other games, but Mumbo doesn't really actively pay attention to the randoms he and Grian match up with.
It was when he was about to decline the friend request that Grian joined the lobby with a very loud, “Mumbo Dumbo Bumbo Jumbo!”
“Grian,” Mumbo returned the sentiment, sounding more exasperated than excited like Grian. His friend must've realized something from that tone difference as he immediately questioned, “What's up?”
“Someone messaged me about signing to a team and now I'm trying to remember who this XVoid person is.”
Grian made a noise of surprise, “XVoid? Xisuma?”
“Who?”
“The Captain of [            ]! I thought we watched enough live streams together to know this?”
“... Grian, I only know Etho in that team!”
Grian made a noise of offense and went off on a tangent about each and every member of the team that was not Etho, scolding Mumbo for being a ‘solo fan’. Mumbo ignored him, hovering his mouse over Xisuma's friend request.
If it is the captain of that team, Mumbo can only assume that this was probably just a fan account. It didn't hurt to accept it. He's had a lot of friends in his friend list that he decidedly ignored a lot anyway. He just accepts them for the sake of filling that friend list.
With that over with, Mumbo started the queue, still ignoring Grian who was scolding his ear off.
Mumbo should've known there was going to be more to the friend request than he realized. What he assumed was a fan account was actually just the professional player's sub account.
Xisuma's team had taken notice of Mumbo, and even personally invited him to be their main team's support rather than simply being a substitute. Mumbo was about to disagree at first, discussing with Grian that he still wanted to play professionally with him, but Grian didn't stall him. He simply said;
"Go," and Mumbo had thought Grian hated him for being noticed by a team until he added, "I'll catch up."
And they left it at that. Mumbo signed with Xisuma's team as their support player but didn't even get to react properly that his online best friend didn't message him at all anymore as he was forced to move to a team provided account, leaving his personal one to the dust.
Mumbo's esports career didn't last longer than four years, but it was a good start for a while. He didn't have any experience whatsoever but his team was kind enough to help him throughout. He also found that a lot of people seem to like his awkward attitude so he didn't feel the need to upkeep a certain persona.
But with the constant change of meta to aggressive supports, his steady gameplay had no use in any team comps. It didn't help that, at every tournament, he got sadder and sadder the more he realized he couldn't see a certain username anywhere in both domestic and international teams even after a while. 
Grian wasn't there. The reason he was here at all, wasn't there. 
He had been moved to a substitute player midway through his career, replaced with someone more younger and aggressive in playstyle, his other teammates had also either retired or moved to better teams. The team’s management was still fond of him and he was only really kept for the fans' sentiments, but Xisuma didn't want him to live the rest of his life as a decoration, noticing the way Mumbo didn't enjoy his current status. The team they were in contract with wasn't getting any better either. They weren't going anywhere like this. Their skills could be put to more use somewhere. 
They couldn't accept the current state of things when they hadn't even won a single international championship to their name. Xisuma owed Mumbo at least a trophy for signing him up for the big leagues at such a young age that he could've used the time to explore more of his life.
He had offered Mumbo two things; Xisuma would pay so he could go back to college, or he could sign to Xisuma's budding esports company for a new chance.
As a coach, that is.
Mumbo had almost been tempted to say he would rather go back to studying, but Xisuma added more to his offer that he couldn't refuse; "You can choose the team. You'll be their main coach, after all."
Mumbo remembered that someone still promised to catch up, and he'd be willing to be a coach if it meant dragging him up here.
He promised. They promised they'd go together.
For the first time in a few years, Mumbo logged back in to his old account and clicked on a familiar user on his friend list.
"Grian,"
"You there?"
Mumbo wasn't confident for a while that Grian would reply back. It had been a good long while, after all. Would Grian even remember him? Mumbo's sure he himself hasn't forgotten the other, but he doesn't know if the sentiments are the same. 
Mumbo didn't really have the time to be too anxious about it either, busy helping Xisuma with properly setting up the company while also looking for managers and analysts to help him with forming the team.
The next time he finally checked his account again, he was disappointed when there was no message back. But one thing that gave him hope was when Grian’s user was lit up. He was online. And Mumbo could see damn well that his best friend, if he could still call him that, was actually just struggling to come up with a reply, especially when the indication of the other person typing kept popping up and disappearing over and over.
At least, with that, Mumbo knows that he wasn't fully ignored.
After a bit of waiting, he decided to give mercy to whatever message Grian is taking this long to send.
"Queue?"
And then the indication of Grian typing stopped. Then replying,
"You literally returned from war after how many and your first message is to ask to queue?? Not even gonna say hi to the kids?"
Mumbo burst out laughing. Somehow, it feels as if he never left for the professional scene and is back to his teenage self.
"How are you?"
"Got wife and kids."
Mumbo frowned at that, "Seriously?"
"No, you idiot. I'm this young and you think I'd have a kid already?"
"..." Mumbo rolled his eyes
"So what have you been doing this entire time?” I waited for you to catch up. Did you lie to me?
“Well one of us had to go to college, Mumbo.”
“Low Blow.”
“My bad.” Grian then typed, “Queue?”
“So now you’re trying to distract me by asking to play?”
“It's also been a while. I'm itchin’.”
Mumbo checked the time. He's fairly free for the rest of the day. And it's been a while since he's had genuine fun in the game, “Well, we ‘oughta scratch it!”
“Attaboy!”
They queue together for a while. Mumbo's old account had considerably ranked down so they were in lower elos. It wasn't that hard to win easily.
Grian was still good at the game, probably even better. He could catch up with Mumbo’s thinking, and Mumbo’s got the professional experience. One thing that bothered him was that Grian didn’t initiate a call like they always did years ago. Comms and all. Mumbo was left with Grian’s spam pinging and visual cues. Mumbo was too shy to ask about it, so he forced himself to be happy enough with Grian playing around with the emotes when they were idle in lane.
But surprisingly, when Mumbo thought they were about to log out, Grian told him to get in-game party call;
“Mumbo.” Oh, Mumbo has not heard that voice in a long time. Grian sounds less like a squeaker now. The long duration of having not spoken to each other was now extremely evident.
Mumbo forgot to greet back, and he didn’t get a chance to, as Grian spoke up again, “Why exactly did you message me again? Surely it's not to play, not when we could've done this for the past years.”
Mumbo didn’t know what to say for a moment. Would it be too rude to ask Grian about his previous interest in esports? Would that seem like he’s trying to flaunt at him or mock him?
His mouth twitched in hesitation, “Are you… still interested in going professional?”
“...” Grian didn’t reply, and Mumbo somehow felt even more desperate.
“You said you’d catch up.”
“I…” Grian sighed into the mic, seeming a little agitated, “Opportunities don't come as easily for me as it did for you, Mumbo.”
Mumbo furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Grian's little cat icon in disbelief, “...And so you gave up, just like that?”
“It wasn't just like that!” Grian defended. He sounded a little pissed off that Mumbo couldn't help but go quiet. At the silence, Pesky muttered an apology and calmed his tone, “Look, I- I really tried, alright? It was pressuring.”
Mumbo opened his mouth to ask what exactly pressured him but Grian beat him to it as he rambled on, “I lost my everyday duo to some team I couldn't even enter myself. Mum kept urging me to give up and go to college, but–” the voice on the other end cracked slightly but he took a long enough pause to steady himself, “I didn't want to- You, you were waiting, up on those big stages, looking around those stadiums like some lost little dog abandoned by their owner–”
“I was not some lost little dog!” Mumbo squeaked out in embarrassment, wondering if he really looked like that in the game livestreams, “How would you even know I was looking for you?!”
Grian’s smug smile could be heard in his tone, “I didn't say you were looking for me.”
Mumbo went quiet and murmured whinily, “You implied….”
The call was filled with Grian's giggling and Mumbo let himself enjoy the embarrassment for a brief moment before moving the topic along, “Anyway, I did say I was going to disagree to join them, but you urged me to accept it. I said I could've waited until we could sign together–”
“But you like the game, don't you, Mumbo?”
Caught quite off-guard, Mumbo gave his question a thought. He did like the game. Understanding the mechanics and strategy of it is fun. Winning a game was actually exciting since the winning conditions needed good skill and awareness to achieve, but… 
He only ever truly loved playing it because Grian was there. His best friend was a part of everything he loved about the game.
Mumbo was quiet and he couldn't find it in himself to actually admit his true opinions. Grian assumed that he was just embarrassed to admit that he liked the game and decided to move on, “So it was unfair to you. I couldn't drag you down. I know we promised to do it together, but that doesn't have to cost your possible futures.”
Mumbo chewed on his lip and once again quietly asked, “But are you still interested in playing?”
“Mumbo, I never stopped playing despite,” Grian said. An indirect message admitting that; he wants to play. He's always wanted to play. He never once gave up on the dream to. He's just a little late. “I wouldn't have queued with you today if I wasn't.”
Mumbo was hopeful at that admittance and he was quick to say, “Then play for me.”
“What?”
It was Grian's turn to be caught off-guard this time, sputtering in confusion and in disbelief. Mumbo could hear him sit straight on his chair, judging by the squeaking picked up by his mic, “No, that's- You shouldn't be practicing nepotism, Mumbo-”
Mumbo made a noise caught between a whine and a groan, “It's not nepotism if it's the coach's job to assemble a team of good players,” he defended. Grian was in even more disbelief this time as he caught on as to what Mumbo was getting at.
“Coach? What happened to your original team–? They still had you as a substitute…”
“Capt– X paid for the separation fee.”
Grian’s voice raised a little, “Then who and what the hell are you coaching for?”
Mumbo took a deep breath, needing to steady himself to be able to explain to Grian the situation without making it worse, “Look, I know you said you specifically wanted to play for a well-known team and, currently, X's company is just fairly knew–”
“Oh my god…” Grian muttered, his voice was muffled like he was burying his face in his hands. Mumbo ignored him as he continued to explain.
“He invited me to be the main coach, to set up the team to how I see fit since he had trust in the way I was at least aware of what was right, who was capable– Well, not to be blunt, but I have the skills to be able to strategize for an entire time and–”
Grian cut his ramble off, “You… you didn't do all this just for me, did you?”
Yes, I did. 
But, “No,” was what Mumbo said instead. “I still like the game, but I'm still not overly aggressive and competitive enough to be successful as a player, as you know.”
Silence that befell the call after that and it worried Mumbo as he didn't know if Grian could trust that reason. He was just about to continue his little persuasion when he was cut off again.
“I'm joining.”
“Before you– Wait, you are?!”
“Well, someone's gotta make sure you're not making wrong decisions! Who do you think taught you the game?! And you're planning to be the coach!?”
Mumbo couldn't even be sheepish at the underlying tone of being scolded. He was happy enough to hear Grian agree to joining even when doubt was evident in the other’s tone.
He’ll just have to show he’s capable of being Grian’s support, like always.
“Grian!” Mumbo had called out excitedly, approaching the man who held such a name. Maybe he was jogging more than politely approaching. Who was to blame him for being excited by the idea of finally meeting his long time online best friend face to face?
Grian’s shoulders jumped in surprise and he couldn't help but turn to look, looking even more stunned as he wasn't given time to react to the sudden hug Mumbo forced him into. His arms couldn’t find where to place itself, eventually relaxing on Mumbo’s back as he hugged back with equal eagerness.
The shorter man couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re surprisingly taller in real life, coach!”
Mumbo froze and pulled away to look at him weirdly, “Already calling me coach?”
“What? Were you actually not planning to sign me?”
Coach Mumbo winced and shook his head panickedly, “Goodness, of course we’re still planning to sign you, it’s just–” he hunched over and pouted a bit, “Isn’t coach a little too formal for us?”
Grian nudged Mumbo playfully, “Get used to it. You wanted this job. Didn’t you, coach?”
Mumbo pouted even more, slightly red in the face, “You don’t find me calling you jungler, do you?”
“I’m not signed yet so you can’t officially call me that yet,” the dirty blonde man then grinned wide, “For now, you can refer to me as darling.”
“Oh, stop it.”
Officially signing Grian up as the company’s first player was like a fever dream, even Grian himself would agree, and he’s had plenty of disbelieving things happening to himself. Even now when he was fully acquainted and settled into the residence provided by the team, he couldn’t believe that he was actually… what he dreamed of.
Grian glanced to his side, watching his coach scroll through some gameplay videos for possible teammates. Somehow, it felt right that the online best friend who nerds out about strategies that he can’t apply himself, was the tall man beside him.
Though honestly, Grian still expected Mumbo to be some hunched over nerd like he was. Who knew the man had not only looks and height, he had better posture than Grian.
The dirty blonde slumped in his chair and zoned out as Mumbo started introducing possible teammates, offering him options to form whatever team he wanted.
Grian didn’t listen much, still a little out of it. It is fairly weird that the coach of all people was asking the player who he wanted as teammates when it was supposed to be mainly the coach’s and the management’s job.
“Can I really pick the rest of my teammates?” He cut off Mumbo’s muttering in a familiar manner. Mumbo, as always, didn’t take offense and answered him.
“Of course.”
“And you’d support me?”
They held each other's stare longer than they should've. Mumbo broke into a smile.
“As I always have.”
“You’re stressing out Pearl again.”
Grian was half laying on his chair and lazily scrolling through the Grumbo tag on social media when Mumbo had come up to him with an unamused frown. Grian had half the respect for his coach to fix his seating arrangement and sat up properly to flash an innocent smile at Mumbo.
“I don’t seem to follow.”
Mumbo tugged at his hair in distress, familiar with Grian’s pretend dumb strategy. As a coach, you’d think that understanding strategies would be kept to the game, not applied even to his troublesome players.
“Sorry, let me rephrase then. You’re giving both Pearl and the PR team an extremely hard time to defend your honor.”
Grian sighs wistfully, “But you are my honor.”
Mumbo groaned and flushed red at that, “You’ve made that extremely clear with your interview!”
The dirty blonde shrugged and didn’t seem at all unapologetic. Seeing that he was once again going nowhere with attempting to horribly scold Grian, he leaned down and apologetically pecked the man on the forehead. Grian visibly perked up at that and blinked at Mumbo like he was expecting more.
Mumbo didn’t give him more, simply rolled his eyes and turned to leave, “Redo the interview tomorrow and you can negotiate for more.”
“MUUUUUUUUUUMBOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Grian’s complaints fell to no one’s ears as Mumbo left the training room.
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skitskatdacat63 · 13 hours ago
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One makes him up, so the other can break him down.
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This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!
As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:
I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.
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It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.
First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.
Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.
Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.
The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!
So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.
Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.
NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.
Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.
*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.
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impactrueno · 2 days ago
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I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.
I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).
Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.
GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.
i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.
i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.
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fragmentaryremains · 9 hours ago
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#first the impressive rat repelling program and now this#what IS up with Alberta??#ruby thoughts#i might need to ask
Oh! If you're interested in learning more, I might be able to help! So to start with, the main thing about this graphic … it's not entirely true. Yeah, this map is almost certainly misrepresenting data from Parks Canada—it's counting ALL wildlife encounters as wildlife attacks. Given that you can regularly encounter wildlife without being attacked, it shouldn't need to be said that the data on this map is more than a little suspect. Sometimes the truth is a little more boring, unfortunately…
That does still leave us with the question of why Alberta has so many wildlife encounters though. After all, the next closest province—British Columbia—has had only 293 wildlife encounters across the same eleven year period. Alberta's had more than ten times that amount!
So what could be the reason for such a massive increase? The most likely reason is because there's a large amount of space where human activity and wildlife habitat occupy the same area. Alberta's home to Banff and Jasper National Park, as well as the towns of Banff, Jasper and Canmore. All three of these towns offer stunning views of the Canadian Rockies—as well as close encounters with the wildlife. From elk venturing into Canmore backyards to posing with bears for cameras, there's no shortage of ways to encounter wildlife in these towns.
Adding to that, there's also the relative ease of access to this wildlife, especially by people who may not have as much experience with such animals. This is especially the case with Banff and Canmore. It's an hour and 40 minute drive to Banff from the Calgary International Airport (or an hour and 20 minute drive to Canmore from said airport). Given that the Calgary International Airport is the fourth busiest airport in Canada, it's not a stretch to say that people who want to come to those towns can get there pretty easily. Jasper is a bit further from its closest airport—it takes about 4 fours and 17 minutes to get from the Edmonton International Airport. But it's still doable if you don't mind the trip. All in all, the main takeaway here is that not only is there space to encounter the wildlife, said space is very accessible—especially for people who are travelling to see the wildlife or are unfamiliar with said wildlife (and thus might not know how to avoid it).
Aside from that, there's probably some other minor factors to this too. For instance, Alberta is home to Waterton Lakes National Park, which is home to a variety of wildlife (including a large population of deer that are habituated to humans). And both of Alberta's large cities aren't completely isolated from large wildlife. Both Calgary and Edmonton have the potential for wildlife encounters with animals like grizzlies and moose. Edmonton in particular is notable since it has the largest urban park in Canada in the form of the Edmonton River Valley which goes right through the city's downtown—that's likely why that moose was able to get downtown in the first place!
So in summary, the main reason Alberta is so high on that map is because of misrepresented data. The second reason Alberta is so high is because there's lots of opportunities to encounter wild animals. From national parks to river valleys, whether you're a local or just visiting, Alberta has plenty of opportunities. So make sure to stay safe and give the wildlife their space!
As an aside, if you're interested in learning more about Alberta, maybe check out @battle-of-alberta? It's no replacement for the in-depth knowledge provided by websites, articles, reports, courses or books (or any other media that I didn't include here). But I think it does a good job of presenting both information and "vibes" in an approachable and thoughtful way. It's not a substitute for actual research, mind you. But as a jumping off point, it's somewhere to get started (especially since some of the more informative posts point the reader to additional sources to further investigate).
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Most common wildlife attacks by Canadian province
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the-100-days-of-junkan · 2 days ago
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Day 44
It’s Day 44 and this absolute fucks with my rules a bit. Junko’s barely in this, and it’s far more prominently focused on Ibuki than it is Mikan. So I’d consider this one of the weakest days of the whole Project. Am I being unreasonable? Probably! 
I do however have stories to tell, now granted on an older post on my main account I did tell this before, however it was cut down because it’s decently related to the fact that I ship Junkan, and that was a secret at the time.
So some of ya’ll probably know that I ship Mukuro x Sayaka x Ibuki, because I like to be in pain and what better form of agony is there than a Rare Pair so rare that by my count there are 3 pieces of fan material for the ship that weren’t made by me. One of them is fanart that existed before me, one of them is an AO3 fic you can only read with an account, and one of them was drawn by my girlfriend at my request. So what does that say about how fuckin’ Rare it is. 
Anyway, the reason I came to this ship is because of a dream. I couldn’t tell you the full details from memory because it’s been awhile, but essentially there was a moment where Ibuki was talking to Junko on a video screen, and Junko was concerned for Ibuki’s safety. And while still dreaming I found myself confused because “Hey wait, I ship Junkan, not (Insert whatever the ship name for Ibuki x Junko is)”
So in the strangest stretch I ever made, I reasoned out that it was actually Mukuro disguised as Junko like in the original game. But then came the issue of “Wait, I’m an Ikuzono shipper!” for you see, for some reason when it comes to Danganronpa I can’t for the life of me Multiship. I can do that just fine with something like, RWBY for example, but Danganronpa? I find one ship that appeals to me, and I do not stray from the path, as if I'll be fucking cursed the moment I do. The only time this has ever gone differently is when I read like, two Maki x Kaede x Miu fics and realized “God dammit I love this” after years of being an Irumatsu shipper. 
So i took the pain route and just made it a polycule. 
And now I stare at myself in the mirror and just plead to the reflection “Why?” in the middle of the night . . . okay not actually but it’d be funny if that was true.
Anyway uh, oh right the art. I really liked drawing Mikan just being a gay little dweeb over Junko while Ibuki is just vibing like an axolotl (there’s a drawing idea.)
And don’t worry everyone! They won’t take away focus from our Star Couple, but my highly specific polycule will return in the future. Fear it’s impending return. 
As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~
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tinkeli · 3 days ago
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Stay. ✧ Rain Carradine x fem!reader
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Warnings: Alcohol use, shameless smut, language
Summary: You've been pining over your best friend's ex for months. Of course, she'd never like you back. Probably.
Author's note: first post on tumblr in years, and also my first fanfic ever lol. English is not my first language so I'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, also wrote this when sick so it might be confusing LMAO. Anyways i need rain so bad it isnt funny anymore
wc: ~4,7k
“Rain.” The name rolled off your tongue smoothly, as if you had repeated it a lot - which you had. To yourself, mostly. Tyler stood in front of you, his curious expression shifting to one of slight bewilderment. 
“Rain? You like her?” He spoke, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Tyler was your best friend. Knew you better than anyone. What he didn’t know was that you liked girls. More specifically his ex.
 Didn’t know. Until now.
You nodded, gaze drifting to your feet, almost shamefully. You knew he would never be mad at you for something like this, but it was still a difficult admission to make.
“Tyler, I’m sorry. I just-” You started, reaching out to place a hand on his arm, trying to ease him. 
“Y/n, It’s… Okay.” He muttered, giving you an unreadable look, his thick eyebrows slightly twitching, unsure. Tyler’s relationship with Rain hadn’t ended well, him still clearly having feelings for her. “At least she could actually like you.” He adds, chuckling dryly. Rain had realized she wasn’t into guys, that being the main reason for their break-up a few months ago. You gave him a reprimanding frown. That wasn’t something he should joke about.
You needed to glance away for a moment to gather your thoughts. You knew him. The way he was acting, he wasn’t telling you everything. Tightening your grip on his arm, you spoke, voice laced with guilt: “It doesn’t seem to be ‘okay’…” 
Tyler, ever the people-pleaser - at least when it came to you - gave you a weak smile. “It’s okay, promise.” He shook your hand off your arm to place his large hand on your shoulder. “Go for it, I say.” He spoke, pausing to swallow thickly. “What Rain and I had - it’s in the past. We don’t have any hard feelings, never had.”
You took a heavy breath, looking up at him. “Still… Would you really be okay with your best friend dating your ex?” You spoke quietly, grateful for the warmth of his hand on your shoulder seeping through your shirt and grounding you to reality. “Would it not hurt you?”
Tyler shrugged. “Nah. Like I said, what’s done is done.” He spoke, reassuringly looking down at you. “And who’s to say you won’t get rejected?” He added with a grin, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
“Funny.” You remarked sarcastically. But he was right. Did Rain even like you? It’s not like Jackson’s Star had lots of women (or people in general) she could’ve trusted.
As you walked home through the dingy and filthy streets of the colony, clenching and unclenching your hands beside you, Rain was the only thing in your mind. As usual. Did she like you? Could she ever? Who even was she? Rain Carradine certainly was a woman of many questions. Ones you wished, prayed, you would get the answers to.
The next day, you were making your daily commute to the mines. Only a few more 9-hour shifts and you’d have filled the quota for getting out of here. Of course, nobody ever really got away.
You learned that when you were still young. The memory of seeing your parents so crushed over another increase in their required quota would always stay with you. They had died almost 10 years ago. It seemed that everyone’s parents were slowly dropping dead, being overworked since the age of 16. You were sort of lucky, having lost them before your age even reached double digits. You didn’t remember that much about the time you had with them. 
Your thoughts drifted to Rain again, as you walked through the crowded main street of the colony. You wondered if she ever missed her parents, how well she knew them. She was enigmatic. Every time you thought you were getting to know her, it seemed as if yet another layer of the walls she had built around herself materialized to replace the one you had just broken down. You felt like you didn’t know her at all, despite her having been a part of your group for 3 years at this point. 
You worked through your numbing mining shift, clocking out when it was 3pm. What to do now? It was Friday, so it was typical of your friend group - more like family at this point - to gather up in your favorite bar to get drunk and forget about all your problems. 
You headed home, utterly exhausted. You were glad it was only 3pm. You had time to rest. You took a hot shower, the warm water easing the aching in your body, before taking a short but effective nap. You made yourself some food and cleaned your small flat a bit to distract yourself.
Still, she found her way into every thought in your head. Especially her eyes - God, her eyes. The prettiest color you had ever seen. The first time Tyler brought Rain to meet the group back when they had just gotten together, you were all but enchanted. Her eyes were perfectly shaped, like the almonds your parents used to buy for meals on special occasions. The color reminded you of your favorite flowers - irises. You had only seen photos of them in books, but they were still your favorite. Her eyes sparkled like light-blue sapphires when hit by the artificial lights on the streets. Whenever you two would have a conversation, however short, you would have to force yourself to look somewhere other than her eyes for even a moment. 
Strange. Eye-contact was usually really not your thing.
Neither were blue eyes, really. Before meeting Rain, of course. For example, Tyler’s cousin’s icy blue eyes were kinda creepy. Pretty, yeah. But creepy. Like he could look right into your soul with those things. Full offense. Bjorn was an asshole. Though you had a soft spot for him.
How you wished you would get a closer look at her eyes. Much closer. You had spent more nights fantasizing about her than you would’ve liked to admit. Her mouth on yours, those strong arms wrapped around you, small but deft fingers fucking in and out of you. Fuck. You really have to get it together. 
Time passed when you stayed busy doing menial chores. Soon, it was time to get ready to meet the others. You felt an almost nauseating excitement pool in the pits of your stomach, knowing you would get to see her. The excitement mixed with a debilitating uneasiness, having a hunch that you would make a fool of yourself in front of her, some way or the other. Still, you decided to put on your hottest dress. The short, black one that accentuated all your curves in just the right ways. 
You walked to the bar, luckily only a mile or so away from your apartment. You flashed the bouncer your ID, slowly walking inside. You looked around for the others, spotting Tyler, Bjorn, Navarro and Kay sitting around a table in the corner. You greeted them, settling next to Tyler. It was kind of awkward, since the last conversation you two had had was about your crush on his ex. 
You intently listened to the others talk, expecting Rain and her brother to appear any second, like they always do. Still, an hour passed. Then another. At this point, you were pretty wasted. Your filter tended to disappear when you got alcohol into your system, so you finally built up the courage to ask the others about Rain’s whereabouts. 
“Hey… Where’s Rain..?” You spoke, voice slurring slightly as you held a half-empty beer can in your hand.
“She should already be here...” Kay said, furrowing her brows and looking at the others, in case they knew. 
When no one had an answer, you started to feel the worry in your stomach build, making your stomach churn. It sobered you up. Rain was never late. You had learned that in your many months of observing her.
“Should we go check on her?” Tyler asked, the unease evident in his voice as well.
“I’ll go.” You slid out of your seat, not leaving any room for arguments. It was strange enough that she was late. Even stranger that Andy hadn’t shown up to tell you guys about it.
You ditched the group despite their protests about going outside, drunk and alone, dressed in that tiny dress. You knew where Rain lived. She had gotten her own apartment near the others’ trailer after her and Tyler broke up - she didn’t want to be around him much. Things got back to normal, but she decided to keep living there with Andy. Said it suited her more.
You slightly stumbled while walking up the stairs, past the other apartments. It was honestly a miracle that you managed to find the right door in such a state of panic and intoxication. You knocked on the door frantically. “Rain! Andy!” You yelled, pressing your ear against the door to listen for any movements.
Sure enough, you heard shuffling from behind the door. You leaned back just before the door swung open, revealing a tired-looking Rain.
“Hey.” She spoke quietly, her eyes taking in your disheveled appearance. “You been through a hurricane?”
You let out an audible sigh of relief.
“You didn’t come. T-to the bar, I mean.” You explained, breathless. God. You had never been so glad to see her.
 Even now, you couldn’t help your eyes trailing from her eyes to the clothes she was wearing. Or the lack of them. Rain was clad in only short shorts and a tank top. Your breath hitched in your throat as you took in the sight.
“Didn’t feel like it.” She spoke nonchalantly and shrugged. She gave you a look. Must’ve noticed you ogling at her. Shit.
“Come in. You look like hell.” She said, voice warming up a bit.
You felt your stomach flutter with the force of at least a thousand butterflies. Still, you complied - of course you did.
You shook your shoes off, following her into her small flat. She sat down on the couch, looking up at you with an unreadable expression. You swallowed, following her and gingerly sitting down next to her. 
A tense silence fell between the two of you. You two rarely hung out alone.
“So… Any reason you wanted me here?” You spoke carefully, trying your best to pronounce your words clearly despite being drunk and still reeling from the panic you were feeling the whole way there. 
Sitting there, just you and her, made your insides twist in nervousness. You studied her profile, her beautifully sloped nose, the way her brown hair was messily tied up, but still somehow managed to look put together.
After a moment, Rain responded.
“Not really. Jus’ felt lonely. Andy’s been installing some kinda software update for an hour now.” She spoke, taking a sip off the almost full aspen beer bottle on the coffee table.
“So you’re drinking alone ‘cause you feel lonely? Even though you could’ve come to the bar with us?” You felt the earlier panic and worry subside now that you had found her, giving way to your usual drunken demeanor.
She gave you a small chuckle. Her smile was so pretty. Pure.
“Guess so.” She muttered, taking a larger swig, finishing the bottle in one go.
Fuck, that was hot. You couldn’t take your eyes off the way she let her head fall back, how her throat moved when she swallowed. You felt a warm thrum low in your stomach, instinctively bringing your thighs closer together when you felt your core ache for her, getting wetter by the second. Why did beer always have to make you so damn horny? You cleared your throat nervously, trying not to stare at her too hard.
“Got any more beer for me? Since you’re evidently not letting me back to the bar.” You tried sounding casual, shifting to a bit more comfortable position on the couch.
She scoffed, but got up and walked to the fridge. “If you want to leave, I can’t stop you.” She spoke, walking back to the couch with a couple of bottles for the both of you. She sat down and passed you a bottle. “I just… Hope you don’t.” She added more quietly.
Her words made your heart skip a beat, and you tried your best to hide any signs of the turbulence happening through your entire body.
“I… I won’t leave.” You choked out, gripping the beer bottle tighter as your gaze involuntarily wandered to her almost bare legs. The legs you had often pictured on your shoulders, your face buried in her pussy. Fuck…
“You okay?” She shifted closer, leaning closer to your face. “You look a bit flushed…”
Oh fuck she’s right there. You gave her a smile that was a bit too wide, nodding. “Oh, i-it’s probably just… Just the alcohol.” You stammered, your grip on the beer bottle tightening.
“If you say so…” She muttered. You almost exhaled in relief, but she didn’t move away completely, just leaning back slightly. She stayed there, close, looking at you intently. You tore your gaze away from hers to take a sip of the crappy beer you all had gotten used to drinking.
“Are you and Tyler together?” You suddenly heard Rain nonchalantly speak from beside you, making you almost spit out your drink. 
“Oh- fuck no.” You chuckled dryly. “Just friends. He’s more like a brother to me than anything.” You add, wanting to make your relationship with him abundantly clear.
She hummed thoughtfully at that, taking a small sip of beer, before meeting your gaze again.
“Have you ever been together with anyone?” She questioned, slightly tilting her head to the side. God, how was she always so calm? You felt like you were about to combust.
“No… Just some random hookups in bars.” You mused, absentmindedly rotating the beer bottle in your hand. “Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering…” She drawled, giving you a strange look. She was smirking at you, her expression almost smug. 
You finished your beer bottle, setting it onto the wooden coffee table with a clink. As you settled back onto the couch, you noticed the way she was slightly leaning towards you while facing forward, nearly laying her head on your shoulder. You felt the butterflies make their return, the almost nauseating flutter making you swallow and slightly tense up.
“You sure you’re okay..?” She spoke quietly and turned to face you, placing a hand on your thigh like it was nothing. You immediately looked at her hand, eyes widening. You forced yourself to meet her gaze, opening your mouth to speak. But no words came out.
“What’s the matter, y/n?” She rolled her tongue across her lower lip, making direct eye contact with you. Your breath hitched as you saw her gaze flicker down to your lips for a fraction of a moment, before returning to your panicked eyes.
Her eyes were dark. The pretty blue irises were almost completely eclipsed by her pupils. Had she done drugs? You cluelessly thought to yourself, so oblivious to what Rain was thinking about. Her hand tightened on your thigh, and she leaned closer and closer, until you could see every little pore on her skin, even in the dim light. Is she oka-
And then, her lips were on yours.
It took a moment for you to register what was happening, only coming back to reality once you felt her small hand on your almost hot cheek, the other still on your thigh.
You immediately felt all reason fly out the window, your hand snaking up her back to her neck to grab onto something - anything. All you could think about was how much you needed to touch her. 
You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, your grip on her neck slightly tightening as you felt her tongue enter your mouth. She was really good at this, her tongue swirling around yours, tasting you. She took her hand off your cheek, placing it on your waist, her other hand running up your thigh to your hip. Without breaking the kiss, she pulled you to her lap, making you straddle her.
One of her hands inched onto your back, her fingers teasingly running over the zipper of your dress. She pulled away, looking up at you with an intensity you had never seen on her face. She looked otherworldly, her eyes half-lidded with arousal, lips glistening with saliva.
“You have no idea how much I want you.” She whispered breathlessly. “You knew exactly what you were doing,” She paused to nip at your neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. “Coming to my place in that dress.” She continues placing wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, slowly opening the zipper on your back.
You damn near moaned at just her words, her every touch making your blood run hotter and hotter. She lazily rolled the short hem of your dress above your ass, pulling the item over your head. She let it fall to the floor, taking in the sight in front of her. She looked up at you with a cocky smirk. “You’re not even wearing a bra…” She drawled, sounding almost condescending.
You didn’t have much time to dwell on her tone of voice, her hands moving to palm at your tits greedily. “So perfect…” She sighed shakily, leaning down slightly in order to give your nipple a tentative lick. You whined at the sensation, hearing her chuckle against your skin. 
Rain started licking, sucking, and nibbling at your breast while her other hand pinched and flicked at the other, making your head fall back. You shivered and gasped at the sensations she was making you feel, certainly far better at this than the random drunk girls you had hooked up with before.
Still, it wasn’t enough. The shivers of pleasure coursed straight to your aching core, your panties already soaked, uncomfortably so. Your hands grasped at her muscular arms desperately as you looked down at her. “Please, Rain… More.” You breathed, voice trembling with arousal. 
“Fine, fine…” She shook her head in resignation. “Lie down for me.” She purred, letting you get off her lap and lie on the surprisingly comfortable couch. She was on you instantly, forearms planted on either side of your head as her lips crashed onto yours. Her knee nestled between your legs, grinding against your arousal. You moaned into her mouth, the slight relief making you rub against her leg desperately.
“You’re so needy…” She muttered, looking at you underneath her. Her face was flushed, and eyes practically glazed over with lust. “Need’a taste you.” She whispered huskily, even just her voice making you gush. “Please…” You whined as she planted kisses down your neck, nibbling at your collarbone, definitely leaving a mark. She slowly moved down your body, showering it with little bites and kisses, before reaching the waistband of your panties.
“Fuck, you’re wet.” She mused under her breath, placing her hands onto your inner thighs, pushing them apart and pressing a finger against your damp panties. You inhaled sharply, quietly whining as she began to lightly circle your clit. “So pretty…” She murmured, increasing the pressure. You instinctively snapped your hips towards her, needing more. She let out a low chuckle, enjoying the reactions she was able to draw out of you. “Want me to take these off?”
You nodded frantically, lifting your hips slightly to allow her to carefully slide the last article of clothing off you. She lowered herself down to her stomach, inhaling the scent of your arousal. 
“Please, Rain-” You whined, hands clenching around the couch’s soft cushion.
“Please what?” She grinned up at you, tilting her head slightly. “Use your words, sweetie.”
“Please, eat me out!” You whimpered, your hand subconsciously moving to grab the hair on the back of her head.
“‘Atta girl.” She purred, plunging her face into your dripping pussy. She licked a stripe across the length of your core, tasting you. You let out a soft moan, trying to keep your body as still as possible. Her hands grabbed at your thighs, keeping the spread apart with ease as she worked, lapping up your juices, using the tip of her tongue precisely, making your legs shake. She dipped her tongue inside you, essentially fucking you with it. God, no one had ever eaten you out this well. You let out needy whines and moans, probably a bit too loud for Rain’s neighbors. But neither of you cared, so lost in the moment.
Your head fell back as Rain slid two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out in tandem with her mouth’s movements. Her fingers curled up, just enough to hit that spot that makes you lose it. You were so close. “Rai-in..!” You whined, tightening your grip in her hair. “...’M so- close!” Your words were pathetically desperate and slurred, the movements of her fingers and mouth making the pleasure coil in your stomach.
Then, she pulled away. You whined at the loss, looking down at her with a downright devastated expression. “Not yet.” She tutted, making eye contact with you as she licked her fingers clean. “Wanna enjoy this…” 
After a moment of kissing and sucking at the soft flesh of your inner thighs, she leaned back down again, her breath hitting your oversensitive core. You groaned, your hand in her hair tightening but not pushing her down. “Now, what do we say, sweetie?” She spoke, rubbing up and down your thigh.
“Please.” You choked out, earning a smirk from her.
“Good girl.” She continued what she was doing earlier, her tongue drawing shapes and letters onto your folds and clit. Her fingers returned to your entrance, teasing it a bit before slipping inside again. It didn’t take long for her to have you a moaning, panting mess again. You started to feel the tension in your stomach build, until you were teetering right on the edge.
“Come on my face, baby.” Rain chuckled against you, giving you one last languid lick and sending you right over the edge. Your walls clenched around her fingers as you did exactly what she told you to. Your head fell back with a loud moan of her name, your whole body tensing momentarily as all you saw were stars. She coaxed you through your orgasm, slowly moving her tongue against you. She got up from her position between your legs, hovering over you with a smirk on her face.
Your eyes fluttered open to see her on top of your breathless body. She looked ethereal. Her hair was ruffled, cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, lips and chin glistening with saliva and your juices. Jesus Christ…
“You’re so beautiful…” You muttered, running your thumb over her lower lip and bringing it to your own lips to taste yourself, keeping eye contact. You noticed how she slightly twitched at the sight, clearly struggling with her own neediness.
“I wanna make you feel good, too…” You looked up at her almost pleadingly, meeting her large, oh so pretty eyes.
Rain grinned. “How could I say no to that?”
She pulled you on top of her, her hands on your waist. Panting, lips slightly parted, you looked at her splayed out underneath you.
You leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss trailing your hand lower down her body, playing with the hem of her shirt. One of her hands tangled in your hair while the other stayed on your waist.
You broke the kiss for a moment, pulling her tank top over her head. Seeing her bare chest and stomach made your stomach do a flip. “You’re so… so hot.” You muttered in awe, hands lightly running down her sides. She gave you a coy smile in response.
You began trailing kisses down her neck, making her gasp and shiver underneath you. Slowly your hands made their way to her shorts, and you hooked your thumbs under the waistband, tugging them off almost frantically.
You pressed your fingers against her damp panties, applying just enough pressure to make her desperate for more. It took all you had not to tear her panties off and eat her out until she came on your face. You needed to be patient. The sounds of Rain’s soft whines, the ruffling of fabric, and your heavy breathing filled the air of the otherwise quiet apartment.
“Take them off already…” She frustratedly huffed, which you chuckled at, complying. You carefully pulled her panties off her legs, discarding them to the floor next to you. 
Seeing Rain completely bare in front of you almost made you come again. You had been waiting for this moment for months. You took a shaky breath, leaning in to place a surprisingly soft kiss onto her lips, palming at her breasts. They felt just right, the warm and soft flesh fitting perfectly into your slightly cupped hands. She moaned into your mouth, making you shiver with anticipation.
You trailed your hands lower, one settling on her hip bone, the other running between her slick folds, eliciting a sharp inhale from her. Your index and middle fingers lightly circled her clit, making her whine louder, arching her back and squirming. You pulled away from the kiss for a moment to look at her reactions, the way her brows knitted together, how her eyes fluttered shut when applying pressure to just the right spots. 
You teased her entrance with your fingers, slowly inserting one, then two fingers. It took a few tentative pumps to find the right angle to curl your fingers at. Her head fell back with a high-pitched cry, a sound you thought you would never hear her utter. You smirked at her reaction, picking up the pace, grinding your palm onto her clit as obscene squelching sounds resonated from your fingers moving inside her.
“Please… Your mouth..!” Rain mewled, sending a jolt of excitement coursing through your entire body. “Of course.” You murmured, settling yourself between her legs. You inhaled her intoxicating scent, making your head spin more than any beer you had drunk.
You dove into her folds fearlessly, your other hand gripping her thigh while the other kept moving inside her. You gave her core an earnest lick across the whole length like she had done to you, feeling her hand fly to your hair and grab onto it desperately.
“F-fuck...” She groaned as you began to lap at her, tasting every spot your tongue could reach, flicking and running across all the places that made her moan. Your fingers worked steadily as your tongue flickered over her clit, using your flat tongue to make her whole body arch against you. As you edged her closer and closer to release, her hand tightened in your hair, the slight pain turning to pleasure - it was Rain doing this to you after all.
“Y/n– I’m close.” She gasped, her legs trembling slightly. You hummed against her, ever so slightly increasing the fervor of your movements. After a beat, her hand clenched around your hair, the other grasping at the edge of the couch. “Ah- y/n!” She cried out, her walls fluttering around your fingers as the waves of pleasure crashed over her. You did what she had done to you, lightly licking at her as she came down from her high.
You timidly get up from between her legs, returning to hover on top of her. You reach out to caress her cheek, affectionately rubbing circles on her skin with your thumb.
“You did so good.” She praised, voice husky from the exertion. You smiled wide. Looking at her, flushed and breathing heavily, you felt your heart swell, knowing you were the one who made her feel like this, made her feel good. 
You carefully lowered yourself into a lying position on top of her, utterly exhausted. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as your breathing evened out.
“Will you stay the night?” She quietly, almost shyly, spoke, playing with your hair.
You nodded. “Of course.”
For a moment, you wondered if the others would worry about the two of you disappearing. But it didn’t really matter to either of you at that moment. 
Thanks for reading!! Feedback is appreciated <3
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rancidslime · 10 hours ago
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This is a really interesting exercise! So, I would argue that an equal execution for maids simply isn't possible in the same way that it is for, say, knights. The way I see it, there are two big reasons wizards lend themselves so well to extreme stylisation, to the point of not needing to show any part of an actual human form.
A) Let's talk about first instincts. The word "wizard" has by now referred to characters of basically ever gender and appearance, but when you hear the word "wizard", the mental image most often conjured up by the word is actually pretty concrete. Long beard, robe, pointed hat. If there's a face, it's nearly always an old white man with a long beard. (I could list the reasons why this image developed, but this is a website full of nerds. I'm sure I don't have to go through a whole genealogy of how the trappings of the modern wizard became codified into pop culture through art and literature.) If someone asked you to "draw a wizard" on a post-it note, you'd probably draw someone who looked basically like Gandalf, plus or minus a few stars on his robe. We all know what a wizard looks like.
B) The traditional trappings of a wizard all heavily obscure the human form; hats, robes, and beards (where included) cover up a lot of the body and face! This means that a stylized wizard can be easily turned into a featureless, genderless collection of symbols with minimal tweaking of the style or design, while remaining self-evidently wizardlike. You can even hide the hands, feet, and face completely - Final Fantasy's black mages are famously one of the best examples of this approach in pop culture.
The maid, by contrast, runs into a two main problems here. So like, yes, we're talking about the meido as cosplay evolution of the figure of the french maid. But one of the issues here is, the meido archetype doesn't have the raw recognition, the crossover appeal, of the wizard. If someone's really into period pieces, they might think of a period-accurate ladies' maid. If they're like, a normie straight dude, they might think of Spirit Halloween lingerie. Someone who has hired a modern maid might think of a person in scrubs, carrying a bucket. The kind of maid we're talking about is a subgenre of what "maids" mean to people, whereas the default image we have of wizards is seen as the progenitor everything else is playing off of. I hope I'm still making sense.
So the meido does have a few necessary signifiers (dress, often but not always black, with white petticoats and an apron, sometimes with a headband). Have you noticed the problem? That's right - the only headgear we recognize as maidlike doesn't obfuscate the head! We talked about how one of the biggest strengths of the classic wizard is that you don't need to show the face if you don't want to - with maids, you don't have that option. There will always be a recognizable human form, even if you opt for the longest skirt possible and give your maid big ole leg-of-mutton sleeves!
Now, that's not to say I don't think you could take it pretty far - you could hide the face with a bonnet large enough to completely conceal the head and face, but between the change in headgear to something rarely actually employed by maid cosplay to the fact that maids of this stripe are usually shown with their hair down, I think that's a little bit of a cheat.
I just saw a wizard-as-fantastical-species shitpost and a maid-as-fantastical-species shitpost on my dash back to back, and now I'm kind of wondering what the maid equivalent of the classic "just a robe, a hat, and a pair of eyes" interpretation of the wizard-as-species would be.
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solhound · 1 year ago
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God!Galecentric reasoning (spoilers) for the Patch 5 epilogue.
Or "God!Gale is a unhinged good evil ending if some logical narrative convince you of it"
Well, we all know how many people, especially Gale's stans, in bg3 fandom hate Mystra. Indeed, her image in the game was not very positive and she could be partially (or completely) blamed for the Gale character tragedy, but…
What happened in the epilogue is not what I was rooting for.
It has always been clear that the Crown of Karsus is an evil path, but like the ascended Astarion path, it was not said in the game that it was wrong.
Some sort of revenge makes sense in Gale's story. It makes sense to seize power and control over your metaphysical past in the form of exactly the same divine essence that offended you and even start doing the right things in your opinion... That's exactly why Gale's death in a Mystra`s duel in his Origin was a kind disappointment.
The epilogue gave us an alternative to this, putting the idea of becoming a god of ambition in Gale's head. An idea that changes the motive of revenge against omnipotence to motive of envy of omnipotence. An idea that it is no longer about improvement and struggle, but about his own prosperity, after improvement and struggle.
It's a good evil ending, but it gives me a contradictory sense of otherness. As if the evil ending was branded evil again, but now, in the distorted light of a dubious victory over nothing.
To be fair, the very fact of the god of another weave as a screenwriting solution for resolving crown conflict with Mystra is really resourceful, but the fact that it's wrapped like that and so abrupt... unhinge me.
Death in a duel was a bad evil ending. So this would be unhinged good evil ending.
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xshinina · 2 years ago
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*Married life playing in the background
This idea was probably funnier in my head
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egophiliac · 5 months ago
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I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.
sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)
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businesstiramisu · 1 day ago
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lol
My mom decided not to use her first language with us aside from nursery rhymes and basic greetings, partly for the reasons you give above, but also largely b/c she wasn't confident in her own fluency anymore and didn't want that to limit communication with her kids. I used to be pretty sad about it (it would be cool to be bilingual) but I don't think this has impacted my life much at all. Can't really speak to ~cognitive effects~ there's too many confounding factors, but in concrete utility the main difference is that I might have been able to speak to my second cousins a little better at family visits when we were all young kids. I do wish I was actually bilingual but I haven't put in the effort as an adult to make it happen either.
Converting to Chinese is *absolutely* a thing, look at the Qing or Yuan dynasties! Korean and Chinese have shared a border forever, there's probably been people "converting" back (and forth) for as long as "Chinese" and "Korean" have existed as ethnic concepts. The US Diaspora situation is probably different than these guys but I think you could totally do it. If people start being weird about for nationalism reasons you could just claim to have mixed ancestry (might not even be a lie, I don't know! and they won't either)
Zompist post on "when do people learn languages?" has a really good section on when children do (and don't) achieve and maintain bilingualism. It pretty much reinforces the first sentence of the OP
me: I'm not sure if it's worth raising our kid to be bilingual. with just one parent in the house it might not take even if I do my best. I don't see it working unless we commit to attending a Korean church for immersion, which I refuse to do
the giant: I think it's worth trying because being bilingual has xyz cognitive benefits
me: I'm bilingual and I don't think that's true
me: I'd try harder to teach the kid Chinese if I were Chinese. that's a more useful language
me: maybe I could convert to being Chinese
the giant: that's not a thing
me: I once read a reddit story from a white couple that adopted a Chinese kid and did their best to raise him connected to his ethnic roots. he grows up fluently bilingual, has a bunch of Chinese friends, travel to China every other year, etc. and seventeen years in they find out, actually, he was Korean
the giant: that's pretty funny
me: it is. and we could do it on purpose
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haaam-guuuurl · 5 months ago
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Looks like Brennan is finally getting compensation for all the psychological torture!!
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vaguely-concerned · 4 days ago
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how I like to imagine lucanis is feeling about being dragged along to the grand necropolis every other day in this playthrough... it's about the duality of
all the walking dressed up skeletons and other assorted body parts strewn around: undeniably kind of bad and creepy. how the fuck is it so cold and windy down here all the time rook is just a slip of a thing how are they not shivering constantly. should I get him a nice warm scarf or would that be against his sense of swag as a watcher I am currently being made to think way too much about spirit possession (these weirdos seem to think it can be benign???? it does NOT feel benign). someone might have worked very hard to get those bones to lie still and dead on the ground it seems disrespectful to that hard work to make the bones get back up again and dance a jig like this. is all I'm saying
vs.
hearing rook speak to spirits and wayward wisps with kind calm authorativeness and care and generally show a whole new side of competence and knowledge they've kept close to the chest so far: ...this better not awaken anything in me (challenge failed)
(rook who's anxiously trying to gauge if the skeletons are going to be a dealbreaker fondly reminiscing 'oh I had my first kiss over there by the van markham mausoleum from the latter part of the steel age actually' and lucanis having to admit 'this does explain some things about you'. there must be some kind of comfort in feeling like you're too removed from the normal human experience anymore to connect with someone only to find that the person you're growing a terrible crush on had barely ever seen the sun until the age of like 34 and thinks this place is the height of normalcy. lucanis' broody line where he's like 'I only know death' and ingellvar both meaningfully and amusedly raising their eyebrows like 'yeah? uh-huh? please, say more' fhdskjaf. i'm sorry you've had your freak matched lucanis I'm sure it's a bit disorienting but we'll figure this out together yet. two little death dudes sitting in a tree k i s s i n g and also trying to figure out the 'life' part of things together)
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legobiwan · 4 months ago
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The use of the octatonic scale here is driving me insane, if for no other reason than that I want to know why this scale in particular was chosen, because it is a deliberate decision. (I have a whole post ready to go with some bat-shit music theory (over)analysis that I may or may not put up later today).
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joystone1217 · 2 days ago
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As scary as it is that we've only gotten breadcrumbs of lore, I doubt that the team has fully given up on lore yet.
One reason, lore still got them new fans and money, even if it wasn't a big pay off like they hoped, one of the biggest content creators for the game talks about it nonstop, having a whole week dedicated to talking about it, so it would be a very dumb move for them to just drop it all entirely.
Two, they actually have talked about lore, sure not for the new maps, but a few days before the games release, they had a reel discussing the "15 years of lore" so they still have it as a focus/part of the game. Plus the callbacks to The Just Dancers: In Your Eyes, Brezziana's boombox being all over the game, Sara's costume being in the back in the ending of Sunlight, the Wanderlust bit in Sunlight, the carrot in Sunlight rapping with Jack Rose's cane: I think that could tell us that they still acknowledge the characters and havent fully dropped their story yet. Also they recently posted about "Moments from JD2025 that live in my head rent-free" and baby Mihaly from In Your Eyes was the first pic, so if they are just dropping storymode, why post about one of the main characters?
I think the things they're focusing on right now is showing the behind the scenes of the game, the Ariana Grande collab and, most importantly, their 15th anniversary, so I feel like those are what's taking the priority rn. It's also possible with the amount of complaints that storymode "took slots in the main songlist" (or whatever bullcrap people said), they're maybe looking into make it a season event or a songpack, which would make sense given the recent introduction of songpacks.
Now do I think they should say something at this point?: Yes, cause leaving people in the dark for this long is only going to make things worse and cause more complaining, much like the whole "WHERE ARE THE PREVIEWS???" situation. Do I think their phasing out the lore?: No, as littlesiha said before it's possible other things just took priority this year or for the games release.
Keep in mind we're probably getting seasons announced soon after the anniversary playlist finishes it's run on the 19th, so we'll have to wait and see what happens. But until then, I wouldn't lose hope just yet.
Am I the only one lowkey worried that JD might have just dropped having lore entirely?
No story mode, and I don’t think we’ve even gotten any new little lore tiktoks about any of the 2025 maps yet? Dina asked about the lore of the coach she played, and they easily could’ve made up some little story, but they didn’t. They reused a lot of coaches, but didn’t give most of them any new characterization or stories.
Everything we got in the new game story-wise seems to be stuff we already knew or was probably already planned before Aroure (I think I spelled that wrong) left.
Grace and Ari in that one Ariana Grande song: Aroure already told us they were having trouble with their relationship. Their thing was probably already planned.
Payphone: People care more about that storyline than story mode because it’s iconic, so they had to give us more of them. They didn’t really continue the story though. What did we know before Payphone? Rasputin wants his girlfriend back. What do we know after Payphone? Rasputin wants his girlfriend back. That’s kind of it.
In Your Eyes and the Eva Chase thing are kind of the only really new pieces of lore we got. Even then, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was planned while Aroure was still the loremaster. Maybe they just gave us In Your Eyes to tide over the story mode freaks (it’s me, I’m the story mode freaks) while they phased out their lore era.
It’s just a theory (a game theory), but I’m wondering if the team just tried out story mode as an experiment, didn’t get the audience payoff they were hoping for, and called it quits. Maybe Aroure left because they decided lore wasn’t worth the investment and let her go, and that’s why we haven’t heard anything about a new loremaster.
Hopefully I’m wrong? It would really suck if they just decided to leave off story mode on a cliffhanger because appealing to the lore fans didn’t make them enough money. But it really wouldn’t surprise me. I know their #1 priority is making money, that’s just how business is. I just wish they’d give us a yes or no on if they plan to continue story mode so I know if I’m waiting for nothing or not.
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un0vian · 5 months ago
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La La Land redraw 🏃
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