#this was probably the main reason for this post

[consouling]

I am here to lay the ground works of any potential continuations of this fic in the future, ignore any minor details at your leisure and convenience.

First, the rumours

The original rumour was that if you went into the graveyard late at night, you'd die. But that obviously didn't happen to our POV character.

Therefore, stating the obvious, someone purposefully spread false rumours about the graveyard to keep everyone away. (Probably Lady Gotham)

Alas, it did not work for our POV civilian character, who shall henceforth be known as Morgan, has infiltrated and successfully evaded the threat of death.

Of which there was no threat of in the first place.

Beause let's be real, without Vlad's soul being intertwined with Danny's, and without knowing all his friends, family, and home are dead, gone, and/or destroyed, Danny would never knowingly kill someone.

So, with Morgan 'surviving', the spreading of the new, more interesting rumour about the pretty boy turning into a monster begging to be let free is created.

For consistency, efficiency, and realism's sake, let's say Morgan is an semi-famous influencer known to be reliable with a main focus of content on debunking Gotham's many urban myths, legends, and superstitions and such.

The reason to be in the graveyard is to stake out the area for filming the next night.

Why check the site out only at night? Being an influencer is busy work, okay? Shush.

With Morgan being shaken up by The Encounter, the account stays unactive for a couple of days. Fans get worried until one notification. One post that goes *viral* titled;

'I Didn't Die in Gotham's Oldest Cemetery, But I Kinda Wish I Did'

(Valantines Day special gone horribly wrong! I kissed a ghost!!!???)

There are a couple of things the rumour could be called, but I think it's wise to best utilise the comedic potential of making fun of Danny's curious tendency to kiss everyone who comes into his graveyard unwarranted.

AKA Danny now becomes know as...

'The Harrlot'

Nicknamed simply just 'Harlot', which would be hilarious.

Second, The Batfam

They, too, like Morgan, thought the rumour of the graveyard being deadly at night was a farce as it has only been a recent rumour with unknown origins.

And they were right.

Partly

The death rumour was fake, obviously, but there was always something wrong with that graveyard.

Too quiet, too dark, too nothing.

You'd imagine that this is what outerspace would be like if you strip away all the wonder. Every star burnt out, leaving the void and you. The only comfort being the sight of the earth below you.

But now this new rumour has attracted more people, more daredevils, curious ghost hunters, and pressured teenagers. Though there are few people like this in a place like Gotham, there is enough to say the rumour is real.

The Batfam don't know if 'The Harlot' is a normal person, a meta, or an actual ghost, but they know he is real.

And therefore start to investigate the one traumatising all these people.

If we don't want Batfam, we can disregard this section entirely.

Thirdly, Danny's Origin

My personal favourite angst is a character yearning for a home that no longer exists and doesn't know their family is dead until they get their hopes too high.

So, to get this to make sense, it should neither be Good Reveal nor Bad Reveal.

Introducing, No Reveal!

After a particularly rough fight, Danny is down for the count

Jazz carries him up to his room to rest the injuries off, but the next day the Fenton parent are the ones to find him.

Not breathing

Without a heartbeat.

By then, the injuries from the last fight have fully healed, and so with no clue of how Danny got here they assume that, well,

Danny died in his sleep.

While the funeral preparations are under way, Jazz, Tucker, and Sam are trying to retrieve his body and wait for him to wake up.

They succeed. Expect he doesn't wake up.

The three of them are labelled as grieving and are put under watch to prevent them from stealing Danny's body again.

The moritcian embalmes Danny's body, and he's put into the casket where he lays to rest for an undetermined amount of time.

How his grave and/or the entirety of Amity Park's grave site ended up in Gotham? I have one single idea.

In order to make every statement in the fic/s above true, Gotham would have to be built on top of Amity Park.

What happened to Amity? Writers choice.

Why is Amity in New Jersey? Amity's placement in America has never been confirmed, so we could just *say* it was in New Jersey.

Anyway, Danny is in Gotham, entirely alone, trapped in a grave yard with no knowledge of why, where, or when he is.

He is truly

Utterly

Caged.

Kiss of Death- DCxDP prompt

A valentine horror.

Didn't matter why you were there or why you didn't run.

There was a graveyard older than Gotham itself. The names on the grave are weathered and unreadable from hundreds of years of exposure. The only reason one should come here was if you had managed to track your heritage to this gravesight after searching museum archives for burial records since the city wouldn't keep ones so old in the government building.

Unless...

You came because of the legend.

It's a new one. So it's more of an urban legend.

The story goes that the graveyard is haunted and a that anyone who comes here late at night will die. It's a simple legend, a very cliche and uncreative one at that.

But here you are. What was your goal? Ghost hunting? Graverobbing? Or perhaps your curiosity had consumed you and you had to know.

The air was thick. Like you are slowly choking on the darkness around you. Have you ever been in a room so quiet it was deafening? Like you are sure you must have lost your hearing because not even the wind would greet your ears. It was just empty space that wordlessly told you that you are alone. But that was just a room. A room that you leave and find solace in a trip of a light switch. This however was no room. It was the wide expanse of the outside world. In a place where streetlamps were not even a flicker in the minds of the residents that rest deep below your feet.

You chose a bad time to come. Perhaps you would be spared the wondering in the dark if you had the forgiving light of the moon on you. But such things were an afterthought, wasn't it? No tonight the moon was shadowed and the light of the stars would be your only salvation...but this was still Gotham. Could their light even reach you with the distant city lights over the horizon? Could the clouds mercifully move out of the way to give you some hope that you were not abandoned?

Now you were ill-prepared but you must have had some sense to at least charge your phone before you came. It's flashlight might be enough to get you back. But you're come this far. Brave or foolish you continue forward.

Until someone approached. You couldn't see them, only hear the muted footfalls of something coming near. Your ears so starved for sensation drank it like water in a dessert.

And in the light of your torch, a face appeared. A pair of baby blue eyes simmered in the light. A relieved smile on a pair of soft pale pink lips. A young man with tousled black locks appearing holding a small arm full of lilies and tulips.

"Finally, someone else. I thought I'd be here till morning." He said in relief as he came closer.

"What are you doing here?" You ask surprised that you weren't the only person here.

"I was cleaning the graves here and I must have lost track of time. Can you lead me out of here?" He asked softly and you'd hit yourself if you said no.

He clung to your arm as you walked him down the path.

The air began to get colder.

Where there was once silence you hearabout d the sound of crows beating their wings and making their wretched calls.

He clung harder to you.

That horrible curiosity got the better of you and so you began to speak.

"Why were you out here cleaning graves anyways." You asked.

"I was...helping. I come here alot." He said simply.

Nevermind the fact he was not dressed in clothes fit for cleaning. His white button-up shirt and dress pants were not something you get dirty. In fact, he didn't have a fleck of dirt on him.

"Where are your supplies?" You ask.

"I left them behind. I'll come back for them." He said curtly.

His grip on your arm tightened and it got colder.

"Just stay close please. I don't want to lose you in this darkness." He cooed.

You begin to feel lightheaded. The cold damp air made it hard to breathe.

You hear the crows...no ravens call out again.

"Never leave!" They repeated

"Trapped!" They called.

You hear a growl come from those pink lips, only they weren't pink anymore.

You look down at your companion and see a pair of bloody lips and a smile curled into a cruel but somehow sweet smile. A pair of glowing acidic green eyes that narrowed into pinpricks like a bird locking onto its prey. His once soft ebony lock now as stark white as snow caps.

You try to pull away but their grasp crushed your arm, hands like icy claws dug in.

" Where are you going?" He asked calm his eyes baring into yours.

Suddenly he did look very scary. No, he looked...so sad...so helpless and lost. His eyes where so warm and inviting.

"Don't leave me here. Help me. I promise I'll make it worth your while." His smile was so warm and inviting.

"Leave!" The ravens screeched.

"Run!" They called.

Even the screaming of the birds where drowned out as he pressed his lips to yours. It was too late. The sickly sweet scent of death and flowers filled your senses.

Why though, was his lips so cold? Why did they fill his mouth with the coppery taste of blood? Why did you feel so empty in the space you had hoped he'd fill in your heart?

But then a sharp pain struck your head and the warm trickle of blood flowed from your wound as a bird flew over your head.

You pulled away from the cloying embraces you perked in pain. And then you saw it. His face half half-rotted and skeletal. The once handsome man was a monster.

You sprinted away from him trying to frantically call someone for help on your phone. But foolish one had you forgotten. Your phone is also your flashlight and as you tried to use it you could only run blindly in the dark hoping you were still on the path. The sound of wind slicked the air behind you as you felt his icy breath on the back of your neck. You could only guess what was behind you as you heard no footsteps behind you only the feeling of being chased.

You dared not stop not even a moment and prayed that you didn't stumble. But mercy had found you as you saw the gate come into view and the solitary streetlight just beyond the boarder.

"You said you'd get me out! You can't leave me here!" A bloodcurdling screech rang out.

But you had already won as you made it out just barely with the graze of clawed fingertips at the back of your neck.

You closed the gate behind you and as you gazed into the dark abyss beyond the metal barrier you half expected it to be there. For it to snarl at you in anger watching you leave or slamming itself at the gate. But there was nothing. Not even the wind.

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

I feel like the entire main gang is just filled with trans men (except Twig who's our token trans girlie). They gather around and take magical testosterone together trust me

This is a true fact.

I changed my header to this and was wondering if anyone would notice.

If anyone was wondering, ive definitely mentioned most of this before but WHO CARES;

Gideon takes/has taken magic hrt (perhaps some permanent kind? It's dnd i can do what I want). He never bothered with anything else, and he doesn't really plan on doing anything else. He's perfectly fine not going under the knife, you know outside of combat. He's just chill and content.

Kremy got the whole magic package, based partly on the headcanon I posted a while back about him gaslighting the whole town into thinking he was born a man. The Baron was just really impressed. I mean that takes skill. Obviously transitioning is different for lizardfolk than someone closer to a human, but whatever needed to be done was, in fact, done. Would. Would gators need hrt?? Like how different are their hormone levels?? Questions I never thought I'd ask but here we are.

Torbek has been kind of busy but might start taking hrt as well after or during the campaign. Probably won't be doing anything else, Torbek would likely freak out, for backstory reasons.

Gricko is the same as Kremy basically but did it all the old fashioned way, if by "old fashioned" you meant "well, a knife and medication were involved". They never get a straight answer from him but everything he says about it makes everyone a little horrified.

Frost honest to God I don't think he transitions at all. Not that he isn't trans but that he doesn't want to transition, at all. Like I said personally I don't think he cares about his gender, though he might invest in hrt as a friendly bonding activity /hj (Normal Thing To Do)

Twig is a fey in the feywild, they HAVE to have some really silly or cool trans shit there. Spells of Instant Gender Correctness. Ring of Dead Name Censorship. Amulet of Repel Transphobe. The fey themselves IMHO, are all about the diverse and just plain getting weird with it (/aff) so they probably got gender you can't even conceptualize. Twig says "yeah my pronouns are she/her and 𝐛⃥⃒̸𝐧⃥⃒̸𝐪⃥⃒̸𝐦⃥⃒̸𝐪⃥⃒̸𝐦⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐥⃥⃒̸ / 𝐏⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐥⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐥⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐩⃥⃒̸𝐱⃥⃒̸𝐥⃥⃒̸𝐳⃥⃒̸ but since you guys aren't fey i assume you can't pronounce the second ones so just she/her is fine :)"

[diggity-didge]

Reassigning the Main Six Ninja Weapons Because I Lowkey Hate Them

The more I watch Ninjago, the more I realize one thing: I hate the weapons assigned to the ninja. Like, LOATHE them.

So, to fix that, here's me reassigning the ninja weapons that fit their element/fighting style/overall vibes more!

Before I start, I will acknowledge that: a) Ninjago is meant to sell toy sets. I get it. The weapons were probably chosen off of what stereotypical ninja weapon looks coolest, and b) that being a Lego restricts what can be made (it’s hard to make Lego gauntlets the size of a minifigure. I get it.), and c) I’m insane and really enjoy the different types of premodern combat weapons the world has to offer and they probably thought people over the age of 11 wouldn’t get quite as invested into Ninjago as I would.

Anyways. Me being a hater outweighs all those disclaimers. This post is a little bit of an essay, so I put everything under the cut.

Cole: I'm starting with Cole because he is, by far, the WORST. He's the reason I made this post.

What screams "rocks, dirt, earth and superstrength" more than a scythe? Just about every other option! In the show, Cole barely even uses his scythe, opting to instead throw hands, which makes so much more sense for someone with SUPERSTRENGTH. Scythes are notoriously not actually weapons and are not good at being a viable weapon. They are hard to inflict damage with due to their limited range and shape of the blade, and the blade can be snapped off with enough force (which Cole has in spades). Piercing an enemy is difficult as the point of a scythe is curved and flat and very small, and very far away from the user so accuracy is also difficult. Big sweeping strikes are not optimal as they are easy to block or evade. If he was the elemental ninja of nature or plants or whatever, he'd get a pass for aesthetics because farmers use scythes.

The solution is to lean into Cole’s strength: strength. Give him gauntlets, like Vi from Arcane or Generator Rex. He's a close range brick shithouse, might as well make him even more of one. Other options for the “boxer on steroids” theme include push daggers (small knives designed for in-between the fingers) or, to really push home the "ninja" bit, give him Chinese deer horn knives.

But, gauntlets aren’t the only weapon associated with feats of strength. To keep with the original scythe having a handle, he could also be given a large hammer or axe, like Amy Rose or Hilda from Fire Emblem: 3 Houses. He’s big and strong and needs something that can handle-and dish out- that same power.

Jay: the second worst offender. He, to me, is the opposite of Cole- the unstoppable force to Cole's immovable object. He is based around speed and long range, and NUNCHAKU ARE ONLY ONE OF THOSE THINGS. It's also very difficult to conduct electricity with such a short weapon, when chain lightning is basically thee lightning attack.

Give him a chain whip (metal is a conductor, after all) or a rope dart. Something that can be thrown far and whipped around (WHIP? LIKE HIT SONG AND NINJAGO THEME WEEKEND WHI-). It’s also a very flashy and eye catching weapon that needs quite a bit of movement and precision to use, and I think it suits Jay’s personality well! He’s a very intelligent character and something that needs precision and maybe even calculations would fit him. Rope darts in particular are, well, as quick as lightning. Speed is his greatest ally, and the wide range and high flexibility allotted to him serves to only make his job easier.

Zane: Shuriken aren’t the worst thing, but they also don’t fit Zane. He's a versatile fighter when it comes to range and never uses his shuriken close-up since they’re typically used as throwing weapons and are too small to really be good at defensive maneuvers.

I would give him either a polearm or chakrams- both weapons that can be either short or long range and take skill to master. (Chakrams are circular blades that originate from India and Southeast Asia that can be thrown or used as hand to hand weapons.) I could also see Zane using throwing knives- once again, they are both long- and short-range weapons that a user can have multiple at a time. In fan art, I usually see him drawn with a bow and arrow (I’m only on season five so I don’t know if he does switch to a bow as his go to weapon), but unless he’s Legolas, if an enemy gets close, he’s cooked.

Lloyd: Lloyd suffers from Specialest Character Syndrome, where the Specialest Character gets the most boring weapon because that’s the most easily identifiable one. He has a katana, which, yeah, cool, he’s a ninja…BORING!! I think he should get Jay’s nunchaku. One of the biggest themes around Lloyd is duality. He’s the green ninja, he’s the golden ninja. He’s so young, but also old after being forcefully aged. He’s a human…but half oni. He’s the son of Garmadon, but the protector of Ninjago, etc. Having a double-grip weapon symbolizes that and allows for enough speed and enough brute strength for him to use effectively. And it’s very ninja.

Kai: Specialest Character Syndrome #2. He’s the Main Guy, and as the Main Guy of a Team, he gets to be red. And have a sword. And have fire powers. It’s just how these things work. It’s cliched, yes, but fire is an interesting element. It’s quick, but devastating. Strong and painful, but not solid.

A sword allows for quick, successive strikes, but also allows for heavy and powerful swings. It’s a good balance, and very unassuming. For someone like Kai, who thought he was the Green Ninja and likes being the center of attention, having such a simple and basic weapon and being forced to learn it’s actually a good choice with a lot of versatility would work. (I can practically hear him complaining: “but, Sensei, even Jay’s weapon is cooler than mine!”) I think he should stick with the sword! There are lots of types depending on the area of the world and time period, so this allows a lot of flexibility.

Nya: I'm not that far into the series so I actually haven't seen her become a ninja and am going off of vibes alone.

Make her spear a trident. Guys. C’mon. It's RIGHT THERE. I think a spear fits the elegant and fluid nature of water, and trident goes with the theme! Yeah, it’s a little obvious, but sometimes you just gotta commit to the bit.

[luiluvr]

if u got a problem w me liking luigi then don’t interact and BTW since i gotta apparently state this due to some dms and comments: i am politically active, i’m a hard leftist and i believe in luigi’s innocence, i am not tryna be a weirdo…. i see him as more than some “sexual symbol” lmfao ☠️

his alleged actions has impacted this country far more than anyone wants to admit and while yes he’s attractive and people talk about it, it’s not the main reason to focus on him, but in times like now there’s not much to give off when he’s behind bars ..😭

with that being said if ur gonna be a dickhead im deleting ur comment and probably blocking u cause ion wanna see you complaining about what i post Thank you v much …

[hockeyspiral23]

... in rereading bits of FW while editing ttios, the amount of unhinged theories I am now coming up with are RIDICULOUS.

(Onyx Storm spoilers - a virtual fucking novel - below the cut)(has been edited since first posted)

In no particular order ...

Barlowe knowing accurate things about the feathertails at Threshing - like that the breed abhors violence and won't fight - and going to kill it. Now, given that we know that Panchek was working on the inside, do we believe that he is where Jack got his info? That, given the apparent super sneaky venin living in the walls (... money is still good on daddy Aetos there too), they knew to try and kill the feathertail once it was known to exist because of the wards somehow? Venin long game of taking down Basgiath's wards so they can't restore them since no seventh breed?

Xaden always telling Violet she'll be the death of him. Well, she has been ... the death of his soul, at least. Also given all the god talk, there's completely going to be some literal bargain with Malek to save him (if he gets saved). I'm guessing that Malek might be the other god to which she could dedicate herself. Though, with Xaden saying "it's always you" to Violet since she's in the middle of shit all the time, that could be an unfortunate side effect of her partial dedication to Dunne.

Which, leading up to that last little point, with that ending, how the fuck is the next book going to be a romantasy with the main couple separated? Unless we're really going to get an Imrrick story (if, of course, Garrick isn't the new brother).

In the very first class of Dragonkind, Kaori says you'd be ash if you ever tried to get close to the Vale and Violet mentions some girl with a rebellion relic pulling down her sleeve. Interesting tidbit, but we ignore it, right? But then, in Onyx Storm, Brennan LITERALLY MENTIONS taking Xaden to sit by dragon eggs in what is presumably Aretia's response to the Vale. So what, do dragons let relic riders near them? Does Brennan get the same courtesy afforded to him due to the rune on his hand? (which, don't get me started on that mystery we still need a fucking answer for ...)

Another reason why I think Xaden saved Sgaeyl? Because if Sgaeyl dies, so does Tairn and then so does Violet. In IF, Tairn says that Sgaeyl would be emotionally inconvenienced if the shadow wielder died, but doesn’t directly answer Violet when she asks him if she’s just an emotional inconvenience to him. So killing Xaden? Might not kill Violet, but the other way around was pretty drummed into us, as was the interdependence of mated dragons’ lives.

Xaden's "there's nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn't find you" line is COMPLETELY going to come into play now with the Onyx Storm ending. Mostly because, given the GMA interview RY did today, she said she fought with her editors to get the ending she wanted which to me, means ending on Violet's POV as opposed to Xaden's POV like the previous two books. What do we get in Violet's POV? A note from the man saying don't look for him. We also learn from RY at the release party she attended that that specific line is still her favorite (either line completely or just of Xaden's) from the series. Violet may not look for him, but you don't think that Xaden's going to still be able to find her?

She'll probably still be able to contact him though, and probably through her dreams (that dream-walking signet is a foresighted signet for her not because she needed to know what her NON-DREAMING DRAGON WAS DREAMING ABOUT JEEBUS, but because she'll need to contact Xaden still and dreams are going to be the way she does it. If, of course, venin sleep. Which ... do they?

Or due to the compass. We might be getting a PotC thing there with that ... which ... I don't know how I feel about that.

Harkening back two points ... if he's ever on a battlefield, I believe that he still won't harm Violet solely because of the ch.48 epigraph about an entire village being decimated by venin except for one house because the venin doing the decimating was the dude's wife. (which, speaking of Xaden's love declaration in this book, he's totally gonna become a Maven or something, isn't he?)

While I'm here ... I think Bodhi might be the new brother. Mostly because I think he turned to work on the venin from the inside, to use his signet-countering signet on the venin themselves. Also because in the Imogen chapter, she also watches blue fire from a wyvern "roll down Cuir's neck, extinguishing to smoke before they reach him." She makes it sound due to the angle, but what if it's because Bodhi was able to counter the fire at that point? Also, Cuir is pretty badly injured at this point, so it's plausible. And even though Bodhi might have the good reasoning for turning, it could also make sense why he's puking after, upset at his decision. And Garrick might just be missing since he had to walk during that missing 12 hours and didn't have the energy to walk back yet.

Liam's ice wielding ... like the fuck? Does this mean that Sloane is going to develop a second signet too? Or that she won't because there was only one other dragon rider descendant in her family and that dragon is dead because they bonded Liam, and she only said the stuff in IF because Thoirt was explaining secret shit to her?

The dragons are going to end up being a big bad somehow. You don't have the line from the Fables about demonizing dragons and then learning that they draw from the source themselves - plus all the talk from the venin and the Isles and even the damn Irids as well as tidbits in quite a few of the epigraphs - without realizing some shit is going to down with them. (Also, need I also continually say that this series is the Empyrean series - so many of our questions are going to be solved due to the fucking dragons).

But also, do the gryphons then also draw the same way the dragons do? But the magic balance is better there because they also die with their bonded flier?

There's a theory on the RQ Discord server that gemstones are going to come into play and I agree with that, if only also because of the seemingly random throwaway line about Poromish gemstones during the Parapet info dump. Plus during the triumvirate dinner, one of them brought a piece of jade - a gemstone - onto the table when it looked like negotiations were going well and put it back into her lap when things went to shit again. Not to mention the citrine necklace, the ruby one Cat was given on Zehyllna, the onyx and amethyst and other mentions of random gems throughout the series ...

I'm also going to guess particularly with emeralds, since the venin want a specific thing as well - ch.50 dream - "You will bring what I want ... or she dies. I'm through waiting, and I will not allow her to win such a prize." If you harken back to ch.6, Xaden extracts a promise from Violet - "Swear you'll sound the alarm if I go too far, that you'll keep it safe, even if it's from me." I don't believe it's Tyrrendor, since Tyrrendor is always referred to as a she. Her ring has an emerald that she thinks is from the Blade of Aretia and the emerald-hilted Sword of Tyrrendor keeps appearing in Xaden's dreams. Are the weapons a matched set? Plus the sword almost comes into play in negotiations with the Deverelli. There's SOMETHING with those two weapons somehow. Plus Xaden's keeping the Blade of Aretia in his gift from Zihnal ...

Speaking of RY and things she's said recently ... someone we love will die in book four. This ... is obvious. Given the Rhiannon and Imogen chapters - and the fact (I think) that she'd like to write their stories eventually - I think those two are safe. We've had Ridoc scares the last two books - the arrows in IF and the kitchen jump-scare in OS - so I hope it's not him, but RY also really adores Ridoc so ... she might. BUT ALSO, it could mean metaphorical death given the whole new mystery venin brother of Xaden's (less likely, but hey).

Going back to things from FW/IF that I'm surprised haven't come more into light ... General Daramor and the original army from the Barrens. I'm a little surprised Violet hasn't tried looking for non-censored texts about that from Tecarus's library.

Speaking of Tecarus ... do we think he's secretly working with the venin as well? Mighty suspicious that the most indefensible palace known to man and its city are like the one non-drained area in like the entirety of fucking Poromiel ...

Some of the things that seemed random are coming to light and I don't know if it's that she's retconning as some have pointed out or if her plotting of the whole series truly is *that* detailed and her editors have just done her no favors when it's come to pacing and worldbuilding. Or she's done herself no favors with it given when she wants the info dumps for all of us.

Not theory related, but worth commenting on since I'm here ranting ... the ship names? I jokingly poked fun at that in viayn so to see it in actual text? I just don't know. Also, I know everyone's getting Drake/Mira out of this, but there's also potential Mira/Syrena too since Mira white-knuckles her pack when Aetos informs Cat she's closer in line to the throne and they're all wondering if it's Syrena who's dead.

Regardless of it all ... the one thing I think we can ALL agree on in book four? Better have some Broccoli. And I'm convinced Ridoc also helped Drake come up with that name.

[losver07]

guys i really need a title for my fic jdbfkdnckd so ima tell you aaaaall about it and you tell me 1. wether youd read it or not and 2. what the hell i could use as a title because i have absolutely no idea

ok this is probably going to be long so under the cut :)

okay! marauders fic, of course. muggle au (because im not ready step that far out of my comfort zone yet lmao)

the main characters will of course be the four marauders, and the story is set in a hospital, where all of them are residents in the mental health ward. so after sirius attempts on his life, he is hospitalised by his brother and put in a room with james, peter and remus, who have all been accepted in the past couple of months for several but not so different reasons.

there will be a looot of mental health talk involved as you may imagine, as well as some juicy drama and very very yummy angst.

ships! wolfstar (unexpected, i know), jily, jegulus (ohhhh there's a lot of drama involved on that one), rosekiller probably, and many more that i'll improvise because let's be honest i do not control these characters.

also! no need to mention that i do NOT support jkr's transphobic, homophobic, racist, etc. views and that the goal of this fic is to make me and anyone else who enjoys it happy. i do not wish to offend anyone and even though there can be some triggering subjects involved (suicide, sh, eating disorders, etc.) they will be tagged so people who may be affected by them are safe. i really just want to write something that keeps my delusion going guys.

okay!!! so i think that sums it up well enough :) feel free to ask me anything or correct me if i messed up (i still have a lot of research to do on the british healthcare system), and give me ideas if you have any! i've got most of the plot outlined but i am willing to add/change some scenes if i get a good suggestion ;)

thanks for reading <3 ill let you know when i start posting chapters tho school is making that quite difficult lol

[cozymochi]

bro apologies for not enjoying Emilio as much as Celil or Nyoka

and I want Tia not to be so underrated☹️☹️ our green queen💚

To be fair — It’s on me that Tia isn’t willingly brought up much. Offline and when reading twst (or if I encounter writings where the protagonist isn’t specified) She’s like, my main go-to person I default to and will base voice-line interpretations around when I’m not trying to be dead serious. Gives me brainrot and makes me kick my little feetsies.

However, if I’m being totally honest, in public fandom spaces she’s kinda… a dime a dozen. She’s just another MC or “Yu” stand-in, and that in itself especially to those who don’t really think about it that much, she doesn’t exactly stick out as anything particularly special or unique. At least, not in the grand scheme knowing that Tia is just one of hundreds of thousands of interpretations of a Ramshackle Prefects. And that’s not even getting into the inspiring her off a disney princess thing which also isn’t exactly a new concept for some prefects either.

I don’t really go out of my way to be special or unique nor is it something I’m too concerned by, I just do what I would be interested in.

Tia in execution might be different to me, but mind I know everything about her that isn’t posted. How she interacts with that world is a slight departure from what’s lined up in the #canon events (not in any extreme way), but outside of myself and the friend who was there since the start, nobody would really know that since I don’t talk about any of it. 🤡🫡 I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but I’m not one to bring these things up without prompting first. And in the opportune chances I get to do so, I tend to sit on it for months or laugh it off cuz I don’t know how to articulate it properly in an interesting enough way. It’s not that I don’t have answers, I do, but I psyche myself out.

I mean, there’s a reason why her actual solo lore and information doesn’t even reach a tenth of a fraction of what the usual trio of NRC boys gets. It’s probably easier for a person passing by to briefly wrap their head around the idea of a new student rather than yet another version of an MC that-- due to the nature of the original game being soooo vague and almost entirely a spectator despite being called the “main character”— just isn’t all that eye catching or worth people’s time, I don’t think.

She might have a different pre-twst life, different way of handling Ramshackle, Tia-specific issues, and relationships with the main cast and how she perceives the events going on around her, and might be slightly more active compared to #canon (this being the “outline” in the game), and have different overall priorities when acclimating to TWST so long as she’s stuck there that are all influenced by the aforementioned— but all of that ultimately doesn’t matter. I don’t talk about it, and when there’s already a ton of different versions of the MC out there in official and unofficial media, it’s like! Why bother! It doesn’t do anything for anyone else to know these things.

So I just don’t talk about her. At least, not in any intimate character way. And even when I could use her in place of the Prefect in more generic scenarios, I opt not to most of the time, because again, I do not think people in general care about the concept of the MC that much. Not helped by the game at all, but what can you do when you want to leave room for interpretation on a wider scale? It’s for function and projection, even if it kinda leaves this awkward hole if the viewer doesn’t go out of their way to characterize the MC themselves.

Unless Grim looks at the camera and demands that MC make a sandwich for them it’s easy to forget that they’re even there, and if one thinks about it for 2 seconds it can really feel contrived that this random person who adds nothing is witnessing certain events. (Book 7 is more egregious about this, but I will not go into it.) If my brain switches MC to Tia then all of a sudden this issue leaves. You know what I mean? Idk.

Wider interest only seems to briefly shoot up when placed under the context of a ship situation, which, despite what others do, say, and how I sometimes play along, Tia doesn’t actually have one. (Not a “””canon”” one, anyhow.) So, she doesn’t have that going for her either.

She’s just some random girl who kinda acts like the character she’s directly inspired from- if from the 2020s instead of 1920s. Starting from that basis people can get an idea of how she acts if they’ve seen the movie, but it’s not always 1:1. If not, then because I don’t talk about her with any effort, people don’t have much to draw from except from generic Shrimpy. Not a great start. She can stand on her own without either, it’s just me not trying nor going out of my way to convey what I’ve been invested in this entire time.

But, yeah. She’s my baby gorl and will always be MY default and main point of interest when I’m personally reading TWST, but she has a lot going against her in terms of general appeal. It’s not even really her fault execution-wise it’s just. Y’know. Yeah. It’s on me. I don’t talk about her up here and don’t exactly have the nerve to do so on my own accord without asking myself what the point of doing so is.

So in a way, as a result she’s not underrated at all. Just exactly where a twst “main character” is expected to be. An afterthought.

[yuriko-44]

symbol of fear: main bnha dr !!

This is my main bnha dr!! I consider this to be a pretty personal desired reality because of the reasons I want to shift here.

This is probably the most intense reality I'm shifting to. In fact I've thought about it for literally 2 years before deciding to start scripting. This is the dr I'll talk about the most in my blog, so keep this in mind!!

The reason why I decided to start this blog, aside from helping me and hopefully others with motivation, was because I really wanted to talk about this dr. I needed a place where I could talk about it freely, but my notes app wasn't really doing it for me. So here I am!! And also who knows, maybe I'll find someone with a similar dr too!!

before reading: why do I want to shift to this dr? Where do I begin? Well, I absolutely hate this reality. Everything is going to shit and I really want out of here, plus I really don't like myself- but this could apply to my wr and other drs as well. So why this one in particular? In 2019, while I was making my first ever script, I immediately thought about a flawless world. Then, in 2020, I went on a 4 year shifting break. After two years, in 2022, I wasn't done with my break but I was trying to pick up shifting again. That's when I looked back at my script. Coming from an extremely flawed reality, the idea of shifting to that perfect world seemed…underwhelming. I'd feel like a coward, hiding away in a perfect world instead of fighting for a better life- I know there's nothing wrong with it, in fact my wr is some kind of perfect world, but it wouldn't be as gratifying as I'd like it to be. I absolutely hate the society I live in and I feel completely useless here. I want to go to a reality in which I serve a purpose and things actually get better. That would be a satisfying reality to go to.

So this is basically what this dr is about. A reality in which I serve a purpose, a reality in which actual justice will be served, a reality in which society at large will learn and grow from its mistakes, a reality where everyone will feel heard and have a chance at life. A reality in which the world will change into something beautiful and life will begin to feel like it's worth living, like it should.

But why bnha? Because not only I've been hyperfixating on it for an extremely long time and I'm really attached to it, but also because justice and society are really important topics in canon, so I was really drawn to it when I decided to script and go to a reality such as this.

summary of contents:

my dr self • plot and main events • important people • miscellaneous

last update: january 25th 2025

← previous [main wr] || next [???] →

my dr self

If you read everything until now, you're either thinking that I'm a pro-hero/hero student or you're doubting that because of the name I gave to this dr and the picture of Shigaraki at the start of this post. Well, here's the most 'controversial' part of my dr:

In this reality I'm not a hero. I'm a morally ambiguous villain.

And if you happen to have seen the post about my wr you might be wondering why I didn't put a picture of my dr self at the beginning of the post like I did in the other one.

I actually did. That's me. In this dr I'm Shigaraki Tomura.

A morally ambiguous villain that, at least in my dr, ends up actually doing something amazing.

→ “Moral ambiguity: a lack of certainty about whether something is right or wrong”

→ “Morally ambiguous refers to situations, characters, or actions that do not have clear ethical implications and can be interpreted in multiple ways.”

→ “Morally ambiguous characters can start off with good intentions and then be driven to evil by others or by society, or they can start off evil and come to redeem themselves. Alternatively, they can remain ambiguous and complex throughout the whole narrative, and leave the reader to make up their own mind about them.”

This is the most difficult part to explain about my dr, but I'm going to try my best to make it understandable:

I always find myself relating to Shigaraki in one way or another. If you knew me in real life, I'm sure you could kinda see the similarities.

When I first started to script this dr I tried countless times to basically make an original character to insert myself into the bnha universe. But it'd always, and I mean always, end up being really similar to Shigaraki, like some kind of bad rip-off- it was just uncanny, really. I'm one of those people who whenever they start hyperfixating on a series they attach themselves to one character...so this kinda explains it- but that aside, as I already said, I relate to Shigaraki, a lot. I'm genuinely not surprised I couldn't come up with something original in this case.

And then it just kinda…made sense- it made more sense for me to shift to a reality in which I'm him instead of trying to insert myself into the bnha universe being a cheap copy of him.

I really don't know how else to explain it, but it just feels right for me.

So yeah…Shigaraki Tomura from the Shigaraki Tomura series-

I don't have anything to say about my dr self, really. He's Shigaraki Tomura, that's it basically- according to my interpretation of the character, that is!!

plot and main events

When I first shift to this reality it'll be the 4th of April 2124, my 19th birthday. I'm still confused on when bnha is set canonically, I keep hearing it's in the present or an hypothetical future, so I picked future. In 2124 the class 1A students are going through their last year of middle school and in 2125 they'll be in the first year of UA and I'll turn 20. I decided to shift a year before canon events to kinda get used to a new reality- I know that once I get there it'll feel absolutely normal, because it is, but I'll do that anyway. Also because I don't want to shift and immediately be forced into utter chaos…and because I want to spend time with Kurogiri without worrying too much about being caught!! (since after the USJ Attack the public will know the LOV is a thing)- for context: he's not 100% like he is in canon, go to the "important people" section for more info!!

Everything will be like canon bnha, but there are some changes. For example the War Arc is almost completely different, consequently the Post-War is not even close to canon. The war will start like canon, but there will be no hero or villain deaths. After the war society will begin to change (in a good way) and me, the LOV and people like us will finally be able to actually have a chance at life. Does this mean there's zero criminal/villain activity? No, but it'll be significantly reduced and will be dealt with way better than it was before. There are other changes, but those aren't as important as the ones I already mentioned.

Another thing I feel like I have to mention is the fact that, as I said earlier, I'm an ambiguous villain who commits ambiguous actions. Although more than half of everything I do is not my fault (All For One), that doesn't mean that I won't be responsible for at least some of those actions. I'll be accountable for the acts that are exclusively my fault (so there's no proof of them deriving from All For One's influence- or maybe I just straight up admit it), but not for the ones that derive from All For One's manipulation and grooming. But neither me or anyone in the LOV will be given life in prison or a death sentence. We'll spend a lot of time in the hospital, unsurprisingly to absolutely no one- but not just any hospital, it'll be like a prison's hospital, so regular civilians aren't treated in the same building as us. After that we won't be immediately free, we'll probably be staying…somewhere under surveillance- I don't know- and then we'll be under probation and then finally we'll be completely free!! Is it realistic? Probably not for this reality, but that reality is different and society will undergo a massive change too, so it makes sense to me.

...also after all of this I'll be spending my life with the LOV and my s/o- me when I can find love as a ex-criminal in another reality and I can't pull anyone in the cr: 🤡

Once I shift to this dr I'll forget about what I've scripted and the plot (only when I'm in this dr- so when I'm in my wr or any other dr I'll remember everything)- EXCEPT: I shifted, I can't and won't die, I can't get traumatised in any way, it's going to end well, other safety things like that.

important people

I absolutely love everyone in the LOV, but I'm not going to talk about everyone or this would be an endless post. I'll talk about three people for now: the first is basically a family member, the second one is my future s/o (we'll be together after the war) and I can't wait for the third's slow and painful death.

Kurogiri !!

In my dr, Kurogiri isn't 100% like in canon, but he isn't too different either. In canon he basically lacks a mind of his own, bound to listen and obey All For One's commands and whatnot. He's a highly intelligent nomou, but that's just so he can better assist All For One and all. In my dr there's still a trace of that, but he's quite different.

In the early phases of 'testing', so not too long after he was created, a certain event took place that influenced his 'programming'. He began to progressively act less and less like some kind of machine and instead acted more like a normal person. But never in front of All For One (and heroes once canon events will begin in my dr). Not only because he wasn't completely independent and still couldn't disobey him, but also because there could've been consequences (he could've been 'reprogrammed', losing the progress he's made, or worse). All For One would've probably done something about it, but he noticed this once it was way too late.

Canonically Shigaraki has been staying with All For One since he was 5 and he's now 20, in my dr it's no different. And Shirakumo was killed when he was in his second year of UA, so he was probably around 17. If you consider Eraserhead's age, since they were in the same year, then this would make Kurogiri 30 years old, his age in my dr. If you do a little bit of math: when Kurogiri was killed at 17, I (and canon Shigaraki too) was 7, I was already with All For One. In my dr it didn't take too long to make Shirakumo into Kurogiri, it took around a year. We met when I was 8 and he was 18. So we've known each other for a really long time.

After the event that changed Kurogiri's programming, we began to properly bond. All For One couldn't just change or get rid of him, losing Kurogiri would have affected me greatly. That could've impacted his plans for me. So as long as Kurogiri 'doesn't do anything funny' he's free to stay the way he is. Little does All For One know that he'll continue to get more and more independent until, after the war, he'll be truly free to be himself.

We bonded especially when I was around 14, when All For One died to All Might (and then got revived by Garaki). Since All For One wasn't in the way, Kurogiri had a little bit more freedom and that was absolutely amazing!!

He's my older brother. The best older brother there is.

He took care of me, he taught me stuff, he gave me company, he listened to me, he made me feel better whenever I felt miserable and so much more. And he still does. He, alongside the LOV, is the main reason why I'm so determined to shift to this reality.

I've never shifted there before but I miss him greatly.

Spinner !!

I don't have a lot to say about Spinner actually. He'll be my best friend (I say 'will' because when I'll first shift there we won't know each other)…and my s/o after the war!! When I first started scripting this dr I wasn't thinking about having a s/o, it didn't really seem to fit. But as time passed I started feeling more attached to the people in my dr and whenever I found myself thinking about him…I don't know, scripting him as my s/o just felt right- everything in this script is based on a 'it feels right for me' feeling!!

So yeah: acquaintances to friends to lovers I guess LMAO!!

Also, a little fun fact: in the cr I have a necklace with a little gecko!! The base is silver and it's divided into 4 sections. In each one of those sections there's a (fake) flat gem. Also I got extremely lucky because on one side it's more green, on the opposite side it's more light blue and in the middle the two colours kinda mix together in a cool gradient. Me when green = Spinner and light blue = my dr self-

All For One. . .

Alright, what can I say about this man?- the term 'man' doesn't even suit him, this is a fucking monster- thank god I can script whatever I want and I scripted lots of things for safety!! Most of those safety things are related to this guy- they apply to everything, but mainly him and his actions.

I still have to register the fact that for a long time (until the war starts) I'll consider this man my ally- like- the one that saved me and shit- god damn-

Anyway-

PRAYING FOR HIS DOWNFALL🙏🏻‼️

Can't wait to kick his ass!!😘🥰😍

(I don't know what else to say actually-)

miscellaneous

...

[sakuraswifee]

My take on Kounene and the "healthiest ship" argument

Probably Satou and Yokoo or my fav background wlw Himari and Minami could be considered the healthiest.

But this is also kind of an excuse to rant about a part of Kounene shippers and my overall opinion on the ship, because guys, I'm not saying to not ship them, but STOP saying they're the healthier option!

Kou barely shares his issues with her. There's almost NO COMMUNICATION between them, which is one of the issues that Aoinene also has.

Whenever I say Kounene wouldn't be healthy it's not because I don't like the pairing and want reasons to hate them (would be hypocritical considering Aoinene is my 3rd fav ship) but it heavily pisses me off how a lot of the shippers (not all) keep saying stuff like "It would be a better couple!!" ...or deny certain queercoding by saying that Kou has a crush on her, but that's not the main point.

Now Bibi, why do you hate it? They're cute?? Now this is just a me problem, since they're clearly friends, but they also give me the "just on friendly terms" kinda vibe?

They remind me of the awkward "friendships" that I've had over the years, where I would be overly nice and sweet, afraid to open up or even get mad at them, so like, heavy respect where I'm afraid to make mistakes? To feel vulnerable?

Maybe they're not even like that, but they just remind me of past experience, so I can't bring myself to like it.

Anyways, despite all of this I did meet some nice Kounene shippers and ngl they're the sweetest! But I also met pretty annoying ones that would just randomly go to my other ship related posts to say "errr! Unpopular opinion but Kounene better🤓🙌"

Kounene gets a 6/10. Unfortunately, the shippers get a 4/10, mostly because I've interacted mainly w/ the annoying ones!!

Idk who to do next, but just to make sure, ship and shippers are getting rated separately, so you might see like a 10/10 and a 1/10.

[bonne-chanson]

Have you ever seen one of those videos of Tigers or other big cats playing with a pumpkin that's been filled with meat?

Here's a cute one if you've never seen that before. https://youtu.be/fFOPhelZxPU?si=5jR3eDQg5BU4QBjC

Anyway can you imagine as Atsushi Starts to feel more comfortable and safe around the agency He starts displaying more big cat mannerisms. Because he knows the others won't judge him for it or think he's less human.

Imagine getting him to feel comfortable and safe enough that he starts playing. I think that would be fun.

a/n: THAT’S ADORABLE OMG honestly atsushi deserves to play around every once in a while outside his agency duties given his traumatic childhood :(( i think it’d b so nice seeing him relax a bit and just be the kid he never got to be. here’s some headcanons i think might fit into ur idea !!

atsushi hcs: big cat behavior!

✑ character/s: atsushi nakajima, mentions of other ada members

✑ short desc: just atsushi being the big cat he is.

✑ content includes: general headcanons ; focus is on atsushi ; no warnings, just pure fluff

✑ word count: 1.3k words

i think as much as atsushi may have been portrayed as being on the more timid / wary side in the beginning of the series when he first joined the agency, he was also almost always on high alert / defensive mode a lot — typical cat behavior

after the whole shenanigan with the black lizard breaking into the agency’s main office (and them being thrown out promptly after lol), that’s when his trust in them solidified a little more and he decided then and there that they were the people he could always come back to no matter what

hear me out for this one: although the popular choice for the person able to loosen up his screws a bit more is dazai, i genuinely think that both the tanizaki siblings are one of the most responsible for helping him relax a little around the agency

when both jun’ichiro and naomi aren’t being weird (ahem) or when they aren’t on the job, i’m pretty sure they act the same way all typical teenagers do — they have interests outside of work / school that they spend time with, like to go along with trends, and they socialize a lot with people their age

and because the tanizaki siblings are the closest age-wise to atsushi, i think he learns to act his age around them as well. they probably hang out every once in a while and do normal stuff that don’t involve the use of abilities or crime-solving

hanging out with dazai is a little more different; i don’t want to make their relationship seem shallow because i know there’s more to them than meets the eye, although branching out in this post might make me go off topic, so we’ll just stick to saying that beyond them having a mentor / supervisor and student relationship, dazai seems to be able to bring out a much more honest and open side to atsushi

dazai’s words of encouragement and points of advice allow him to grow from being stuck in a circle of self-pity and learn to slowly move on from the events that traumatized him as a child — that being said, atsushi learns to unfold himself a little more with dazai’s guidance, which in turn helps him become a more honest version of himself around others

outside agency duties, i hc dazai to be the more chaotic of the two, often dragging atsushi into whatever shenanigans he has planned. he probably lures atsushi into playing pranks on kunikida, who very likely finds them irritating at first (schedule issues) but i think kunikida has the heart to let them off easy every now and then given he’s well-aware that they never had the easiest upbringings either. and if he scolds dazai / atsushi, it’s really just because he cares about them

with ranpo, i think atsushi is probably the more mature of the two. i hc that whenever they get paired together for a mission and are sent out of yokohama for that same reason, they often stop by candy stores to bond over buying sweet treats after accomplishing their tasks

yosano comes off as quite strong to atsushi at first, and the whole operation thing probably still scares him to death, but her kindness and care towards everyone including atsushi helps put him at ease. he’s at comfort knowing that someone is there to patch him up as well as the other people he cares about at the end of the day, even if his ability allows him to regenerate his limbs

he learns to become an older sibling figure through both kyouka and kenji. there’s more responsibility taken for them outside their jobs (older brother duties), but the innocence that comes with playing games with them or simply chatting about whatever topic pops up helps him hold onto his own innocence

and then there is fukuzawa — stern as he may appear, i’m sure he genuinely cares for the well-beings of all his employees. his ability says it all: it gives his subordinates all the control and freedom needed to ensure that their abilities are under full command of themselves. from atsushi’s side, there is gratefulness (especially after making peace with his own ability), but from fukuzawa, there is a lot of parental care outside duty (also because atsushi is part cat and fukuzawa likes cats lmao)

that comfort from having peers he can socialize with without the fear of being bullied or messed around with allows him to feel a little more at peace with himself at some point later on, and because he is part-tiger, he eventually ends up becoming more playful around everyone when his feline instincts come out

i like to imagine everyone sees it as a little inside office joke at first when they buy him toys like those cat scratching pillars or the little fishing rods with the feathers at the end, and he gets embarrassed about it initially, but he’s around people who care about him and don’t judge him for what he is, and he figures hey, why the hell not?

so now, it becomes the norm for one person every day to bring a new cat toy for atsushi to play with

it’s kenji who brings the pumpkins to the office (which earns him a few side-eyes of confusion, not to his knowledge), and at first, atsushi doesn’t really know what to do with them until one day after a particularly stressful mission, he finds himself gnawing at the pumpkin to help relieve himself a bit

it’s a strange feeling at first, but being able to sink his teeth into something that (thankfully) isn’t human flesh really helps him relax

sometimes he’ll use his tiger claws to slash at the pumpkins and mess around with the insides if he doesn’t feel like using his teeth

nobody at the agency really says anything about it aside from the occasional joke about it here and there but it’s all light-hearted and they seem to really enjoy watching him be himself around them

there is now a supply of pumpkins specifically for atsushi, and the roof garden above the agency now also has a pumpkin patch (run by kenji and kyouka, of course, and supervised by fukuzawa every now and then) so they don’t run out

remains of the pumpkins aren’t wasted. somehow the rest of the agency members (or at least the ones who know how to cook) find different pumpkin recipes to try and now they have a mini cookbook in the communal kitchen where the main ingredient for every dish is a pumpkin lmao

i’d imagine that if they do celebrate halloween, atsushi’s in charge of gnawing out the insides so the rest of the members (and he himself) can carve their decorations on the pumpkins respectively

when atsushi is sleepy, he’ll rub his face around on the surface he’s laying on or the person nearest to him (kind of like cats in general) and i think that a lot of the other members find it adorable so nobody makes any comments about it when he does that

sometimes dazai will bring one of those laser pens around when he’s bored and when he points it at a wall (or kunikida’s forehead), atsushi instinctively goes up to try and “catch” it lmao

i think he really enjoys playing hide-and-seek with the kids (and ranpo) especially when he’s “it”, primarily because of the feeling of the chase / hunt (which big cats seem to enjoy)

to no one’s surprise, fukuzawa enjoys playing with him a lot when he’s in his big cat form. i feel like he spares a few of the sardines he keeps in his yukata for atsushi as well. he probably carries around one of those fishing rods with a toy fish / feather at the end for atsushi (and atsushi enjoys it anyway lol)

everyone thinks it’s very enjoyable seeing him be himself. even if the whole found family dynamic turns out to not be true in canon, his happiness will still remain their happiness because they’re all still part of an organization that supports each other and are understanding of one another’s upbringings

atsushi with big cat behavior is so cute :>

a/n: i think i enjoyed myself a little too much with these and got carried away LMAO feel free to let me know how i did!

[heartepub]

pulling a page from kae's book (ha), annotations of annotations—because every day I think about how lucky I am to know someone I can trust to handle my stories with care, unpolished as they tend to be even as they are posted :"))) I feel like I yapped way too much and this isn't even all I have to say about SITO—yikes I will be very easily tempted to do a deep dive into SITO I'm not even joking nobody test me

this is one of the best pieces of work you will find not only on svtblr, but on the internet as a whole.

cried a lil actually!!!! it's such ridiculously high praise, but I'm happy that out of all my works (including the ones I will be writing in the future), it is this one that received these words. it's probably very early to be so sure, but I'm not joking when I say I wouldn't mind SITO to be the work I will be remembered by as heartepub.

this was a stellar device used for getting into the characters' head and describing them, and the eventual payoff of it just makes the story all the more heart-wrenching.

if I think too much about this praise from a comm major I fear I will start bawling—the screenplay format was a challenge insofar as it assumes a translation into a visual format (the film itself). so there are bits where you can get into the interiority of a character, but it's not as conducive of a format as prose conventionally is (at least if u consider, for example, tolstoy explaining his characters' thoughts vs what happens on the onscreen adaptations of anna karenina). still, the screenplay format plays with exploring what is captured and shared vs what remains privy only to the characters, which you also mentioned :')

having seungkwan and the MC discussing [shotgun] marriage afterwards feels like a smoke screen. 'look, the world may be ending, but there is a young couple asking hypothetical questions and falling in love.'

the images of walks home, shaky confessions, button exchanges. and the hints of what's happening, what's to come: mild dust storms, a barren world.

this was such a lovely way to put it, and I think of the tensions between literature and history, as far as stories of ordinary people are concerned (ie pachinko with "history has failed us, but no matter.")

the blight and its effects are lifted from interstellar—the famine that eventually resulted in finding other worlds to inhabit. the shohikigen mv got me thinking about setting all the d+ scenes after sk was in a spaceship, or smth like in love wins all mv where they are targeted, but I ended up with this universe, exploring the period from the start of blight to the resource wars (ie this is pre interstellar movie, set not in america but in south korea). hence that scene w the jokes about a spaceship w funky gravity as a nod to the source material

on button exchanges—it's a thing in japan where boys can give the second button of their gakuran as a way of confessing. probably the uniforms in this universe are different, but one of the reasoning for it in its original iteration is that the second button is closest to the heart. felt apt for this couple hehe

we've been privy to their romance so far, but this moment— what might be considered A Last Good Day, even, since this is d-4— isn't even perceivable in its entirety. there is only so much that we can see about their relationship on-/off-screen, both in a literal and metaphorical sense.

oh, the last good day as something not perceivable in its entirety got me. on tears of mokpo—surprisingly the melancholy of the song in the sense that it speaks in the voice of a heartbroken lover was not the forefront of my choice, but I adore how it was what you grasped from your reading. I think it's smth that would be especially melancholic retrospectively, when sk would have been rewatching the footage and remembering what the song was about.

in another vein, though, the main reason i chose tears of mokpo was to hint at the war—jeju had been just ceded, and though I didn't say it was japan, tears of mokpo was a song that had allusions to the harsh occupation korea faced as an annexed territory. alternatively to both the lovers reading and the revival of tensions w japan, it can be read just generally as a hint on conflict and the suffering that awaits, or just sk being an boomer soul and singing a trot song about mokpo since you're in mokpo

we look, and memorize, and catalogue.

we r back at didion (chz)—lists and inventories initially had a bigger role in SITO, but I like how looking and memorizing played a role at multiple points: the looking before the joke on shotgun marriages, before leaving for the trip, when mc would look at him for longer every morning anticipating the conscription, and at the final moments in d=0

and of course seungkwan looks and catalogues as he goes through his memories—both the ones in his mind and ones on film, and their interstices

i was struck between the eyes by the violence of that act [cutting any scenes], because this very much feels like the crux of reconstruction/memory/narrative. seungkwan is in charge of what will be remembered; how the MC will be remembered. i adore the ambiguity of whether the scenes reflect a stitched-together film or whether we're following along seungkwan's review. equally, there's just something gutting about this playing out in some perverted version of what MC and seungkwan joked about i.e. a world with electricity, where seungkwan had free reign to do what he wanted with all the gathered clips.

the blurred fiction and reality was largely inspired by the manga goodbye eri, which [spoiler-free summary] follows a boy who was asked to film his mother's final moments, and how the output led him to meeting eri and filming her as she went through her final moments as well. (pls read it the twist halfway through made me gasp). the screenplay format also was a bit of a nod to fujimoto's paneling being quite cinematic, in that it wouldn't look out of place in a storyboard (true not just for GE but for chainsaw man n look back as well!)

one of the hardest parts was deciding the order of the scenes—though I was set on it being nonlinear, and that there should be a mix between screenplay formats and regular prose, the sequencing was the hardest. the only one I was really set on was that there had to be a screenplay format scene before the line "Seungkwan replays the footage again". [Actually that conversation w Vernon is my favorite scene and one of the first ones I wrote; many things were structured around that so that it could stay in the final version haha]

I chewed a lot on a lot of things as I wrote. how memory can be altered by trauma. how every time you remember something, especially a traumatic memory, small details may have changed; until at your nth recollection there is another story entirely. how there is a line between being the subject of your memory and being subject to it. how building something back implies it was lost—and isn't that us with all our memories, as there is no way to live them again?

film as narrativization, and memory as self-narrativization, to a certain extent. the intentionality that both have, and some of the unintentionality of memory as well, or the unconscious ways trauma may shape it. hence: remembrance is reconstruction, reconstruction presupposes loss.

there is so much to love here, so much to adore in the stylistic, technical sense, but what comes to fore for me is this: viv's respect for the dead/dying.

as someone who has experienced loss, it bled into my writing, and I remember seeing a lot of myself in the vulnerabilities seungkwan and wonwoo but that's neither here nor there had. how deeply personal some parts of SITO were :') as you said—"how do we even begin to prepare for loss? and how do we live with the knowledge of how much we're about to lose?". some losses you grieve for before it even happened, others hit and you're left trying to fit your arm inside the stump that was left

the initial SITO draft had the death offscreen, hinted only through d- and d+ scenes. it was a nod to the greek tragedies (I am never beating the ancient greece nerd allegations)—despite having much death, they always occur offscreen, as a way of keeping the dying moments sacred (and not a spectacle for theater). so I'm glad and comforted to know that the death here, at least, was handled well.

a heart's a heavy burden. and you were seungkwan's heart, weren't you?

see gakuran trivia :) i swear this bowled me over. what a lovely lovely way to summarize the overarching narrative of his grief

i'd skipped over seungkwan's line here. twice as many stars as usual. let's look up together.

this scene came to me last, but i do think it was the best way to end the fic—also the only scene I teared up writing :') mentioning the two headed calf wasn't even in my original outline but! here we are and I'm glad it panned out like this. the two headed calf lore—that it barely lives past 24 hours, and the part about the museum in the poem itself—are all intentional details + allude to the conversation mc and sk had on what if our story makes it to some funky museum someday.

kae is right in that it presumably happens the night before d=0—but I present one more possible interpretation for extra pain w a side of blurred fiction and reality and memory:

it's the same cornfield as where mc dies. the stars in the screenplay are described as startlingly clear, with a low POV, but there's a bit previously (their convo after the sunset) where it was mentioned that the footage becomes grainy once there's not enough light. the good night as a goodbye. you don't know if the […] before sk's reply was just by chance, or because he knows it is a goodbye and he is reliving the memory (in his narrativization, is the "let's look up together" a final entreaty, and the "I'm tired" proof that it fails?), or if it s a made up memory entirely. :)

smth smth that one quote that goes "we find ways to cope, if not heal", etc.

a discussion i've had time and time again is whether a person can be complimented on their ability to write grief. is it a insult, to be told that you write about grief well, when it takes an acute understanding of loss to be able to pull it off? i haven't figured that out yet.

I don't have an answer for it either, but trust that I am honored if you say I write grief well, at this point in time. Perhaps when my own losses were fresh, the answer would have been different. There is a lot to chew on in conversations where trauma is often squeezed out for art. If not insult, it could definitely be something a person isn't quite ready to hear yet, if grief is still fresh. I feel this dilemma is one of those questions that is something you live with than find any concrete answers to (a la rilke). yet I think that writing grief well, for me, is being told I am doing justice to the memory of a person I still cherish :')

kae ohmygod . grief's familiar rooms genuinely making me vibrate rn cos . that whole bit of seungkwan walking through his home as it exists both in memory and film? just—yeah. bachelard's the poetics of space was among the things that held my hand as I wrote this (didn't reread it per se but I did remember the gist of topoanalysis). idk, something about how the house has embedded memories and emotions, and how the house you daydream in is often the house you have lost

ily and in return have one of my favorite poems on grief (since I already quoted cold solace in lrpd HAKDSDJ), as well as probably the song that not a lot of people know but I included in the recommended listening (paris paloma nation rise pls).

once again just . so so grateful to have befriended kae—I think that in the sea of trying to navigate caratblr as a baby account, feedback and friendship like this truly keeps me going and reminds me that there are people out there who hold my writing with so much tenderness :') in awe at just seeing how stories gain new life as they are received by different people, yet the reverberations of emotions persist as they move from one heart to another.

something in the orange

summary. remembrance is also reconstruction. reconstruction presupposes loss. a meditation on memory, narrative, and grief. and, of course, love. pairing. boo seungkwan x gn!reader genre/tags. ANGST, (semi-graphic) major character death, interstellar au-ish (just the blight), non-linear narrative, blurred fiction and reality if you squint (sorry I reread goodbye eri while writing), unbeta’d (mistakes are my own) wc. 5k suggested listening. love wins all, iu // 消費期限, seventeen // triassic love song, paris paloma // eight, iu prod. & ft. suga // yawn, seventeen // something in the orange, zach bryan (or niall's cover)

notes. midnight in korea now; happy birthday kwannie! this is very experimental, and admittedly i'm not fully satisfied w it, but I didn't know how to change it atp. sorry boo, it's your birthday but i give you pain. as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined 🫶🏼

D-17 EXT. SEOUL TRAIN STATION – KOREA – DAWN The sun rises over the ruins of Seoul Station. The air is clear of smoke and fog. A shot of the sun peeking over the heap of steel, glass, and cement that once served as the station’s framing. The train tracks run to the far horizon, to the left and right of the frame. Pan to YOU (young-looking though age is ambiguous, former writer, love of SEUNGKWAN’S life) squinting at an old, battered map of Korea’s train lines, and a compass. You’re wearing battered jeans that are slightly too big, boots, and a sturdy leather jacket. Behind the camera, SEUNGKWAN (male, young-sounding though age is ambiguous, former video producer) narrates.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         BOO-log number 529. We’re now figuring out how to get to Mokpo. Neither of us are any good with directions, but my partner decided that we could try following train lines since the none of them are running anyway. You look up at the sound of his voice, noticing the camera.

                YOU             (exasperated, but fond)         Kwannie, are you filming again? We have 30 batteries, but not all of them might be working. You might need to save battery and memory if you want to video the view of Jeju Island.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         It’s okay, I really just wanted to record us before we start. Once we’re walking, I won’t use the camera as much. And I have twenty other SD Cards!                 YOU             (not surprised)         Okay, we’ll definitely figure something out for the batteries, then.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Yeah. Now— Seungkwan’s voice changes to a more formal tone, as though he were imitating a newscaster.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D)         What are your thoughts as we start our newest adventure? The camera catches your grin. You follow along, changing your tone to an impression of those backpackers in TV documentaries.                  YOU         Um, I’m excited to see Jeju-do, even from afar, because it’s part of Seungkwannie, and we had our honeymoon there. As long as we’re careful, I know we can do it. If we’re lucky, we may even find someone who can bring us across. Beat. You look ever so slightly awkward in front of the camera.                 YOU (CONT’D) Wait, here, give me the camera. I’ll record you this time. The footage shakes, briefly showing a tiled floor, then train tracks, before panning to a blurry face. The camera shakes for a moment before the image comes into focus, revealing a beautiful young man with dark hair. Seungkwan does a better job at the “interviewer voice”, but you’re no slouch either.                 YOU (O.S., CONT’D)         So, Seungkwan-ssi, what are your thoughts as we embark on a new adventure?                 SEUNGKWAN             (genuine)         I think it’s about to be wonderful.

D–2183

When the Blight started, both you and Seungkwan were in high school. Though only having known you since that start of your third year, you’ve quickly wormed his way into his life—visiting his house, having dinners with your family, and he even managed to force you into joining the badminton club with him.

Bees now officially extinct, the news proclaims, an effect of the ravaging of nearly all plant life. Asia in particular has suffered; the widespread rice shortages due to it becoming impossible to grow resulted in widespread famine. The extinction of plants used for feed, made food prices across the board skyrocket. Corn, it seems, is the only crop that can resist the Blight—and the rest of the world now has to adjust its staple food to mimic the old Americas.

“Seungkwan.” You prod his ribs.

“Mm?”

“What would you do if the world ends tomorrow?”

“Marry you.” You laugh, until you realize he isn’t joking.

“What?” Your voice pitches to an incredulous squeak.

“Marry you,” he repeats.

“Why, though?”

“I always wanted to get married,” Seungkwan replies, after a moment of pondering. “And if the world ends tomorrow, as of today you’d be my best candidate for marriage.” 

For a moment, you just look at him, eyes tracing over his features. Your steady gaze makes him shift, uncomfortable, wondering if he said something wrong. Eventually, you shrug, though there’s a twinkle in your eye as you quirk a smile at him.

“While I don’t support shotgun marriages, I’d make an exception for you and the end of the world.”

His breath catches, heart stuttering as he tries to parse your answer in his head. “Wha—you—”

“Come on, Seungkwan, don’t dish it if you can’t take it,” you groan, flopping sideways to plop your head against the armrest. Your legs tilt as you do, your foot brushing against his calf. He tries not to jolt at the contact.

“I’m sorry!” He pouts, trying to calm the uneven fluttering of his heart. You laugh, shifting your lean in the opposite direction, so your head lands on his lap. Despite having done it a thousand times before, he traces softly the way your hair falls, admiring the way its color contrasts with the color of his pants.

(Looking back, he’ll think about how that day changed things, even just by a little bit; how his gazes grew longer, noticing more how the sunsets glowed against your face as you walked home together every day, painting you golden. How you’d both gotten used to creative ways of shelter when mild dust storms come, thanking your luck each time that you had gotten home before it truly began.

He’ll think about how, a year from that day, he kissed you as he walked you home for the last time before you enter your separate colleges, swallowing the teasing took you long enough from your lips as he finished his shaky confession. 

He’ll think of how you exchanged second buttons like those characters from that anime you liked did, and the quiet promises to make things work even as the world seems to turn more barren than both of you can follow.

He’ll think of how three years from then, he gets on one knee, to your tearful yes and salty kisses. Your small marriage, with just your families, batchmates, and some professors, followed by a beautiful honeymoon in Jeju. Despite it all.

None of these decisions had anything to do with the end of the world, but you and Seungkwan made them, nonetheless.)

D-9 INT. A TENT – A TRAIN STATION SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SEOUL AND MOKPO – NIGHT The footage is grainy due to the lack of proper lighting; the camera shakes as Seungkwan seems to be trying to balance it on something. The tent is quite cramped; the inside is sparse, with only two sleeping bags and your knapsacks—Seungkwan’s with two camping pans attached with a carabiner.  The leather jacket you were wearing is now resting on one of the bags. You have both swapped your sturdy day pants for more comfortable, albeit worn, sweatpants. Out of context, it looks like a vlog filmed by two campers on a hike. The camera steadies as Seungkwan moves away. He moves to sit beside you. There is an easy intimacy as you thread your fingers together, almost mindlessly.                 SEUNGKWAN         BOO-log number 531. We passed by a sign that said Nonsan. That means we’re probably halfway there.                 YOU         We made progress better than expected, didn’t we? I estimated at least two weeks.                 SEUNGKWAN             (nodding, excited)         I thought the train tracks would have been ruined, since the stations are, but they’re surprisingly reliable.                 YOU         It’s true; of course there were times when we had to find our way around the tracks, or climb above anything that fell down over it, or go through some cornfields, but mostly, it seems we’ve been lucky.                 SEUNGKWAN         By the way—everyone, it looks like we’re in a tent in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t it? Don’t be fooled, we set this up in a convenience store.                 YOU             (laughing)         You ruined it! Now we can’t be funky backpackers with a tent on the train tracks.                 SEUNGKWAN             (playfully lecturing)         It’s good to be truthful, you know. What if kids watch this someday? We have to be good moral people.                 YOU             (with the remnants of a laugh)         Okay, okay. We set this up in the Seven Eleven inside one of the train stations. Abandoned, obviously. We made it in right before the dust storm hit.                 SEUNGKWAN         Another good news today is that we managed to barter something for food.                 YOU         Yeah. This one engineer or something—I think he’s a veteran? But we saw him tinkering on his porch and offered a trade, his corn for our cables, and now we have dinner.                 SEUNGKWAN             (joking)         It’s not jokbal, but it’ll do, I suppose.                 YOU             (groaning)         Oh my God, what I’d give for some jokbal right now. With bossam. And soju. SEUNGKWAN         I’ll be dreaming of that tonight.                 YOU         Anyway, everyone, we’ll end the log here, so we have enough batteries for a nice long BOO-log at Mokpo. Both you and Seungkwan wave your corn (dinner) at the camera. You reach forward, covering the lens with your palm. The clip ends.

D–20

Seungkwan walks around the house. He’s doing his last checks, checking between what’s in his bag and what’s in the rooms to parse if he’s missed anything—batteries, your wallets, matches, passports, birth certificates, first aid kit, water bottles, toothbrushes, all the canned food in the pantry, the sturdiest kitchen knife you both owned (wrapped in two layers of cloth), the Swiss knife he was gifted a few years back, flashlights, a whistle, and all the carabiners and hard cash you had were already packed.

He finds you in your shared bedroom. There are a bunch of wires there, evidently cut from various appliances. You’ve wrapped the cables as neatly as you could manage. On the bed, you’ve laid all your dry-fit shirts and the sturdiest pairs of pants you both have. Then, from the dresser, you’ve collected the most expensive jewelry the both of you own—well, all of them, but you separated the expensive ones in another pile. He points to the latter.

“What’s that for?”

“If cash fails, maybe gold won’t. I don’t know, just in case the currency collapses. But they’re worth bringing all the same.” Also, you hold out copies of both your health insurances. He opens his knapsack and quickly stuffs them in the same place as your other documents.

“Last resort kindling?” Seungkwan offers, showing the cluster of documents in his compartment. The remark draws a quick breath of a laugh from you.

“Probably.”

“How about the wires?”

“You never know when we’ll need some emergency engineer bullshit; plus, if it comes to it, the wires will probably be better barter material. Before you ask,” you hold up one hand, “I edited a zombie novel a few years back. But if that kid was pulling out of his ass, we’re fucked.”

Despite your disclaimer, the no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way you’re handling the situation makes something settle in him, as though all he needed was an anchor amid the chaos. He pulls you close, placing a kiss to your temple. The tension in your body melts as you press against him. For a moment, Seungkwan just holds you. A temporary anchor before you need to move.

Turning to him, you offer a quick peck to his lips before holding up his trusted camera bag, worn as it is. “Bring it,” you tell him firmly. “We need a little bit of happiness. Get all the SD cards you have, too. In case we just never leave Mokpo. It’s small enough to stuff in our pockets.”

Seungkwan can’t help it; he grabs your face and kisses you. The camera bag sits between you awkwardly, but he doesn’t care. He savors this, the familiar taste of it, the contours of your face that his hands have long since memorized. You pull away, but not before kissing his lips again, then his nose. He’ll never quite get used to the way you look at him, as though there is something new to love each time.

“We’re gonna be okay, my heart.”

D-4 EXT – A LONG STRETCH OF BEACH – MOKPO, SOUTH KOREA – SUNSET The camera captures a breathtaking sunset. The sky is a wash of oranges and pinks, the clouds purple yet lined in the light of the sun. Mokpo is on the southwest side of Korea; the view of the sunset is particularly beautiful, as the sun sinks down into the sea. There are faint silhouettes of islands both near and far from the shore. The waters are tranquil, and there are no sounds except for the steady wash of the waves on the shore.

The shot slowly pans to you. Your expression is tranquil, despite the dirt and tears across your clothes.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (soft, so soft you don’t hear)         Pretty.                 YOU             (clueless)         Hm?                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Nothing. Can you see Jeju Island from here?

He already knows where it is.                 YOU             (laughing softly, a little sad)         To be honest, I don’t know which piece of land I’m seeing is Jeju. A finger appears at the edge of the screen.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         There, that’s Jeju. Right behind the blob that looks like a hat.                 YOU             (squinting)         Oh! Right, that’s what it looks like. Beat.                 YOU (CONT’D) The view is beautiful. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the sea. Seungkwan hums the opening to Tears of Mokpo. You don’t recognize it until he softly begins to sing the opening lyrics.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (singing)         사공의 뱃노래 가물거리면…                 YOU             (laughing outright)         That doesn’t have anything to do with Jeju! He sings louder just to spite you. You playfully roll your eyes. Bending down, you unlace your boots and take off your socks, sinking your bare feet into the sand with barely-concealed relish. Seungkwan stops singing as he knows what you’re about to do.                 SEUNGKWAN         Careful; don’t step on anything sharp. As you move forward, the camera follows you. It is revealed that the beach is not so picturesque. The sea seems to have dried up some, and even here, bits and bobs of life float on the surface and linger in the sand.

There are the usual culprits: plastic bags, empty cans of alcohol and soda, and snack wrappers. Yet visible also on the camera are the following: bullet shells, shrapnel, a chair leg, a ragged pillow, and a cracked desktop monitor. As all this is visible, the camera centers on you laughing, splashing in the saltwater and enjoying the breeze in your hair.                 YOU             (calling; audio faint)         Kwannie! Come here! A beat. The camera zooms in on your face.                 YOU         Kwannie, come on! Hurry up!                 SEUNGKWAN             (proximity makes his voice loud)         Okay! A rustle. The camera is laid down, cloth (Seungkwan’s jacket) obscuring part of the footage. After a nudge, the cloth disappears from frame. Another figure, barefoot, joins you.

D–119

Jeju has officially been declared abandoned, lost for some other country to use as farmland. The radio announced the treaty ratification today. Seungkwan is a spectre around the house, listless and heartbroken. 

Months ago, when the conflict began to escalate in earnest, he began whatever arrangements he could to ensure his family was safe, moving them as near to the farming areas as he could manage and encouraging them to share whatever techniques they knew could help former cities now learning how to farm. The news does not make the sharp pang of grief dull any less.

He is at the age when he is to receive a conscription notice; Korea has since shifted its system to split soldiers into those who will either fight on the front lines of the Resource Wars, or serve by tilling the land and ensuring that there is enough corn for the population, however dwindling. There is no guarantee on which one he is to get, even if he did register himself as head of household (and should hypothetically be assigned the latter), but he is due to receive news in a few months’ time.

The promise of the notice hangs over both your heads. In the mornings, you spend ten more minutes just looking at him, as though you were memorizing the shapes and contours of his features. At night, he curls into you more tightly than before; once you’d have complained that it was too hot, now, you simply wrap your arms around him and let him sink his face into your hair.

“Hey, Seungkwannie.”

“Mm?”

“Let’s go on a trip.” The hand mindlessly running through your hair falters. 

He pulls away, looking at you with a furrowed brow. You keep your head low, pressed against his chest. “What?”

“Let’s go south. Yeosu, Mokpo, whatever, just near the beach, as close as possible to Jeju. Just…just see it, even from afar.” At his silence, you barrel on. “If we walk enough, we can make it in two weeks—a week if we can hitch a ride with one of those crop trucks or something—and then just another two weeks back, if we don’t settle in Mokpo outright.” 

“Food—”

“I can pack us as much as I can. We’ll need to ration, and possibly trade, but we can do it. The treaty is in place, and it’s most dangerous up north right now. Going south isn’t as big of a risk, and the weather has been looking good lately.” Finally looking up, you cup his cheek, tracing the skin with your thumb. He presses his lips to your wrist.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to Kwannie. I just thought you might want to say goodbye.”

“I…” he falters. It’s tempting. Unbearably so, despite the nagging at the back of his head that it would be better to leave it at that, keep his memory limited to the days you spent there dodging dust storms and falling in love. He doesn’t know how much it’s changed. How much the ocean might have even dried up. He doesn’t know if he can stomach to see it. “Give me a few days to think about it?”

“Of course, Kwannie. All the time you need.”

D+29

Seungkwan’s life has been demarcated into two. Before, and after. He goes through the motions of the government-run fields: waking up, clocking in, eating breakfast, tilling the soil, weeding, lunch, the occasional drills in case they were still expected to fight, transporting corn from one warehouse to another, dinner, sleep. Repeat.

Not a lot of people are here; many prefer to till fields they own, or collectively own; for once, agrarian reform straightened itself out at the start of the Blight. Yet with the dwindling population—slowly withering family trees—those lands acquired by the government grew.

Sometimes, Seungkwan thinks of home. He was lucky enough that the head of the center, Seungcheol, was kind enough to register his name as part of the deployed cadets under his supervision, despite the incomplete paperwork he had when he stumbled into his field, frail and dehydrated from lack of food and water.

Home remains now only in his memory, and in every replay of the Christmases he captured on camera. The soil is more unforgiving than before; it distracts from the loneliness.

EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The wedding is humbly decorated with dried corn leaves fashioned into flowers, as there are no real ones anymore (none within the budget, anyway). Guests came as they are, though everyone has made an effort to clean up more than usual. It is currently the reception, and the speakers are playing a quick beat. The guests are dancing, laughing, and cheering, though their movements are blurry and almost smeared onscreen (step-printing effect). In the middle of it, you stand, the only still figure in the frame. You’re smiling softly to someone behind the camera, very clearly in love. Cut to Seungkwan, in a similar position, the guests around him dancing as but blurs. He is wearing a similar expression. He begins to walk forward.

You meet in the middle, still the only clear figures to the camera, and begin to dance.  As though the dance were a spell, the surroundings cut to: INT. A MEDIUM-SIZED LIVING ROOM – NIGHT EXT. SEOUL STATION, IN RUINS – DAY INT. YOUR TENT (MAGICALLY ENLARGED) – NIGHT EXT. LONG STRETCH OF BEACH (UNPOLLUTED) – MOKPO – SUNSET Hold this image for a moment. The sea laps at your ankles. The bottom of both your garments brushes against the saltwater, but neither of you seem to notice. Both you and Seungkwan close the gap to meet in a tender kiss. Suddenly, cheers. You part, and are back to: EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The newly-married couple smiles and waves. The bottom of their garments are damp.

D+167

It seems surreal to have all the batteries he wants, and even a computer where he can replay all his footage—more than 4000 hours’ worth of it. It took a few months of work to earn enough credits and rank to access it, but Seungkwan pursued the goal with single-minded purpose. There is enough electricity in this center to run a few computers, and Seungkwan is its most regular customer, painstakingly going through each clip on the dozens of SD cards he has.

For footage so far back, from when you had just been married, there are parts where he no longer remembers what happened after the clips end. They remain in his memory as but colored ghosts, warm-tinged with nostalgia. Cabinets that would never be opened again, now filled, in his dreams, with infinities.

The house of his memories blurs with the house of his oneirism. In both, he subsists on sleep and daydreams. But memory will betray; it won’t tell him if the house he remembers has been altered by each remembrance. So he watches his videos. He walks through his house, now only alive in video and reconstructed by memory. He sees himself and he sees you, in all the different iterations you both were. Wonders if he could stitch both into narrative. Wonders if he could even bear to cut any scenes. He’s never thought about the violence of that act until now.

Inventories do not just catalogue possession; they also measure the potential of loss. It was a quote from one of your writing workshops, discussed over a late dinner. You could still afford some meat then; Seungkwan had saved just enough for a small slab of cured pork, which you would cut tiny slabs from for both of you to enjoy before bed.

He has five minutes left of his designated slot with the computer.

Seungkwan watches, and he catalogues.

D=0

Seungkwan only remembers in flashes—a gunshot. A scream. It’s only when he replays that moment in his mind that he realizes it was his voice. Barely a thud as your body is cushioned by the corn leaves. Dark red liquid, somehow both grainy and slippery on his hands as he drags you into the thick of the field, away from the path, trying desperately to stem the blood while minimizing your trail. Until finally, he collapses, feet unable to bring him a step further.

More flashes—your eyes, only ever kind. Even at your last moments. The way you hold his hand and place it over the pocket you keep his SD cards, as though reminding him one last time. The way your eyes search his face, first desperate, and then resigned. The way he leaned in when you opened your mouth, to hear your final words, only to feel the ghost of chapped lips brush against his ear. The gush of blood that dribbles past your mouth that tells him you’re gone.

(The Resource Wars felt like more a backdrop than anything else; you had come this far without any altercation. Yet even as you screamed that you were not thieves, just travellers, the gunshot rang. 

The cornfields weep with him as he leaves you behind, SD cards clutched in his bloody hand.)

D–4

TIME CUT TO: It is twilight, now. The camera is trained on the horizon. The sun has fully set, and night is beginning to settle in the sky. Only the barest hints of orange remain. The footage has already become slightly grainy due to the lighting. Neither you nor Seungkwan are on the camera. Instead, voices are heard while the darkness arrives. It is not evident whether the footage was taken accidentally, or on purpose.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (softly)         I’m glad we came. Really, even if we couldn’t get to Jeju. I’m glad. I’m glad it’s with you.                 YOU (O.S.)             (just as softly)         I’m glad too, my heart. You filmed the whole sunset, didn’t you? Start to finish?                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Yeah. Yesterday and today. I have so much footage that I don’t know what to do with.

Breath.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D)         Actually, that goes for all the BOO-logs. Even the ones from high school and college.                 YOU (O.S.)             (surprised)         You never tried editing them?                  SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         I have, but what then? There are hardly any theaters now. Nowhere else to post. And electricity is expensive.                 YOU (O.S.)         Okay, but if we both die, what do you think’s gonna happen to this camera? Seungkwan is many things; a prideful badminton player (before the Wars stopped sports events), a videographer, casual vlogger, and a corn field worker. You are also many things; an editor (before your company closed from too little employees), author, copywriter, and occasional tiller.

Both of you still enjoy nurturing sparks of creativity when they come.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Mm. someone picks it up and it gets immortalized in a post-war museum. And our videos will be a special feature.                 YOU (O.S.)         Oooh. And the war museum would be on a spaceship, with funky gravity and new plants and meat the astronauts domesticated from a different planet.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         And there’s a new jokbal. Call that out of this world delicious.                 YOU         Stop! Despite the terrible joke, you both laugh, then let the conversation drift into comfortable silence. The sun has fully set. Nothing much can be discerned visually from the footage.                 YOU (O.S., CONT’D)         Hey, Seungkwannie.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Mm?                 YOU (O.S.)         If you had the chance, like computers and steady electricity, would you edit all the BOO-logs into a short film?                  SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)             (skeptical, but thinks about it seriously)         What would the plot even be? A married couple traveling to Mokpo, dodging dust storms and chasing each other through cornfields? Watching the stars at night?                 YOU (O.S.)             (earnest)         Yeah! Or, y’know, make it semi-autobiographic, like two lovers wanting to visit where they first had their honeymoon. Or maybe I’m sick and you want to take me to the sea one last time? The footage earlier could fit with that storyline.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Don’t even say that!                 YOU (O.S.)             (laughing softly, apologetic)         Sorry, sorry. But if you do make a short film, I want to be the first to see it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you work.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         What about you, then? Would you write a book about us?                 YOU (O.S.)         Oh, definitely. And you’d be the first to read it. The footage cuts.

D+182

Seungkwan replays the footage again. Beside him, Vernon fiddles with a pen.

“What do you think about making this a short film?” Seungkwan asks. 

Vernon stops. 

Seungkwan may be their newest addition, but the rest of the crew has grown protective. He brings light to their conversations, effortless in his ability to entertain and bring laughter. Mingyu asks him of his favorite foods, especially the ones he misses from Jeju, even if recreating them is near impossible. Seungcheol reprimands anyone who tries to bully him into giving up his share of rations. Junhui has begun to joke more, noticing how Seungkwan seems to be particularly into his humor. 

Yet everyone recognizes the sadness that still clings to his heels.

Vernon looks, for a long moment, at the monitor, frozen with a picture of a smiling face he’s never known—never personally, only ever through the screen and Seungkwan’s stories, always shared in quiet whispers in the privacy of his room.

He knows, though. Knows that this person was real. They loved, and were loved. It speaks in how the camera follows whoever is in the frame. The cuts of certain clips, as though either the person behind the camera joined their partner or had a moment that could not be captured in film. Most of all, it was the way whoever was in the frame would, without fail, smile at the person behind it. 

“I think,” he replies, choosing his words deliberately, “that you are in a unique position to dictate how someone is to be remembered by those who never knew them. And…” he hesitates, wondering if two months of these quiet conversations is still too little to be so candid with his friend, especially when talking of loss.

So, so much loss.

Seungkwan answers that question for him. “It’s okay, Vernon-ah.”

“…Well, I just wanted to say that it’s a burden to bear, is all.”

EXT – A CORNFIELD UNDER THE STARS – NIGHTTIME The stars have emerged, visible in all their glory. After the start of the Blight, when the population began to dwindle, electricity and many other resources became scarce. Much of the light pollution that was once a problem has disappeared. Brilliant dots twinkle overhead. To you and Seungkwan, it could pass for the Milky Way. The POV seems to be at a low point; stalks of corn are visible at the edges of the frame. Yet the stars are bright, captured exceedingly well.

You’re softly speaking aloud Laura Gilpin’s The Two-Headed Calf. It was one of the poems you memorized in college, as a creative writing major. YOU (O.S.)             (as though from far away)         Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. Long beat.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         Twice as many stars as usual…let’s look up together.                 YOU (O.S.)         I see the stars, my heart, but I’m tired…

A breath hangs in the air. Some rustle of cloth, as though someone had adjusted so you fit together. A soft sigh.                 YOU (O.S.) Good night, Kwannie.                 SEUNGKWAN (O.S.)         …Good night, darling. End.

note. are the screenplay bits from the short film? the raw sd card clips? his memories? distorted memories? guess we'll never know. nonlinear bc grief is nonlinear. pls tell me your thoughts (even/esp if u didn't get the story lol) take care of yourselves always <3

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Author Ask Tag

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

Even if I had a lesson in mind, and I'm not saying I had, I would probably bite my tongue off before stating it on this beautiful website. Also, the people who actually read my stuff are not the ones who would need said hypothetical lesson. But mainly, I don't choose the story, the story chooses me.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

All my stories are set in the same world, because a) I dislike worldbuilding so I'm only doing that once and b) I like having little cameos of other characters. Said world was hugely inspired by video games, especially guild wars 2. Some things fit video games more than novels - somehow carrying too many coins than reasonably possible, bandits as soon as you leave a town, a made-up reason for a common language, and a continent that's honestly way too small, to name a few.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

Well, my MC(s) just want to live a normal, peaceful life, despite all the horrors I chuck at them, and I want to cry a bit about said horrors and then watch them achieve their dreams. The thing I want most is for someone who usually doesn't see some aspects of themselves in fiction to recognize themselves, and for someone who feels as lonely and out of place as I do to find a bit of comfort.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

All of our Lives has 32 chapters, one of which is the prologue. I do not expect this to change.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

It's original content, and I will put it as ebook and pdf on my website, elli-scribbles.net. I used to post on Tumblr, but I am not happy with the loss of control that came with the new post editor, and there is some content I am most definitely not comfortable posting on any place I do not have full control over.

When did you start writing?

I started this draft at the beginning of May 2024, and I finished it just over 6 months later in the middle of November 2024. Taking my time with this one and aiming to have it done for release in May. I'm not gonna add yet another 'oh, always!!' here, because I can't remember shit, hence project specific, though I could pinpoint a "new start" in September 2021 when I started writing in English.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

If I am fully honest, I am not particularly encouraged myself. I haven't been in a good place in months, at any given moment I am five seconds away from bursting into tears, and I feel like one big failure. So uh: The internet is a scary place. Find a friend who matches your freak, stick them in your pocket, and don't ever let them go. Write for yourself only got me so far, I needed someone to scream with me.

Not tagging you to do this, just tagging you because I love you @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @pleasestaywithmedarling @alittlewhump @sarandipitywrites @little-peril-stories @honeycollectswhump @writingphoenix

You should also look at @leahnardo-da-veggie @whumpyreader @thoughtsonhurtandcomfort @befuddled-calico-whump @whump-me @lovelizards whose stuff I enjoyed recently and also ofc @the-inkwell-variable who mentioned me and @winterandwords whose open tag I stole :)

[solhound]

God!Galecentric reasoning (spoilers) for the Patch 5 epilogue.

Or "God!Gale is a unhinged good evil ending if some logical narrative convince you of it"

Well, we all know how many people, especially Gale's stans, in bg3 fandom hate Mystra. Indeed, her image in the game was not very positive and she could be partially (or completely) blamed for the Gale character tragedy, but…

What happened in the epilogue is not what I was rooting for.

It has always been clear that the Crown of Karsus is an evil path, but like the ascended Astarion path, it was not said in the game that it was wrong.

Some sort of revenge makes sense in Gale's story. It makes sense to seize power and control over your metaphysical past in the form of exactly the same divine essence that offended you and even start doing the right things in your opinion... That's exactly why Gale's death in a Mystra`s duel in his Origin was a kind disappointment.

The epilogue gave us an alternative to this, putting the idea of becoming a god of ambition in Gale's head. An idea that changes the motive of revenge against omnipotence to motive of envy of omnipotence. An idea that it is no longer about improvement and struggle, but about his own prosperity, after improvement and struggle.

It's a good evil ending, but it gives me a contradictory sense of otherness. As if the evil ending was branded evil again, but now, in the distorted light of a dubious victory over nothing.

To be fair, the very fact of the god of another weave as a screenwriting solution for resolving crown conflict with Mystra is really resourceful, but the fact that it's wrapped like that and so abrupt... unhinge me.

Death in a duel was a bad evil ending. So this would be unhinged good evil ending.

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

[jayceenthusiast]

anyway i was afraid to touch this discourse with a ten foot pole but i had to get some stuff off my chest as a queer man myself looking at all this discourse abt jayvik because it’s hit me more deeply than others for some reason.

i have no problem with people who see them as platonic, i think the relationship is beautiful either way, but personally as a queer man like i said before the thing that hurts me the most abt the discourse is people’s assumption that if it IS romantic that this takes away from the arc. if like people say there’s a lacking male friendship in media where men are tender and loving towards one another, why is it that every time people turn towards a fictional gay couple and point fingers that the gayness itself is devaluing the relationship? why do people see male queerness as devaluing deep male friendship? why are we the enemy of better male friendship representation in media? as if gay men in love can’t be friends. as if they can’t have both at the same time. idk it’s just a show and just fandom discourse but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt when i see people talking about how it’s better that they’re not gay at all.

[screechingzephyrr]

sherlock and john are insane because. like. nobody else can ever really come close to their relationship. they cant replace each other with anyone. no matter how much john loved mary, she couldn’t stop his nightmares. and sherlock turned to drugs as soon as john faded out of his life. no matter if sherlock ever had any feelings for molly, she just isn’t the same as john’s presence on cases. they need each other. they’re soulmates. i would feel bad for anybody else trying to have a relationship with either one, because they are so completely obsessed with each other. john killed for him after knowing him for a single day. sherlock opened up for him and him alone. they match each others freak in a way noone else can. they don’t even have to be romantic or anything. their relationship transcends everything. can anyone hear me? i know this is a given and everyone knows this but i just. yeah.