#this was like attempt number 10+ and she was like JUST KILL HIM U GOT THIS

[yansurnummu]

today in unhinged eso shenanigans that @tilliphont wanted me to share: last man standing in vfl

[withonly-sweetheart]

kisses you mwah mwah mwah "go big or go home" <- my standards exactly (and im not talking height... well technically i am just another one-)

The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.

THIS. WHOLE. PARAGRAH. GRAHHHH this perfectly sums up what its like to go on dates when you're not a minor anymore like you know what you want and it still feels like you're a kid? so wanting that is wrong but you want it and you know it should feel right but you're too scared to act on it. which leads me into:

But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.

OK GIRLLLLL I SEE U... baddiessss pose for me (ass fat slim thick no tummy) love the number implications because if u think abt it, its a double shot right which is supposed to be strong and she says one way which means she's not coming back... guys a ONE WAY TICKET MEANS YOU'RE NEVER GOING BACK MEANING SHE WANTS IT TO LAST DID I JUST COOK???

He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist.  "Joel—" "Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.

oh my god the respect is so amazing... like personally that would be such a green flag because being able to push away ur own desires to hear out what the s/o wants is just!! peak relationship behavior me wants...

Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.

STOPPPP I NEVER GOT THAT ANALOGY ESP W SO MANY OF MY GUY FRIENDS PLAYING FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL LIKE I NEVER WAS INTO THAT... bc i love them <3 and also they're dumbshits so if i ever try and explain they start yapping abt innings and shit i dont really care abt <3 love ya ishanth ik ur stalking my rbs

It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.

FUCKKKK I DONT CARE IF IT RIPS MY THROAT I WANT IT- sorry who was that?? anyways love the realisticness bc i feel like 10 inches and smol girl will not equal something very good so love how realistic this feels! always the relatable one, eh liz?

Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.

... but i don't. thats why i read about it, cause the more ya know...

He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.

chat what... but that line was so smooth like ngl i would fold immediately if someone was that concerned that even during sex they were watching out for me... ermm.... ahriasdlkasdklas tweaks out

And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.

it sure is *tips cowboy hat and gallops away on a brown horse*

"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft. When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven." You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.” "Same thing.”

the title ref?? gosh ur so smart thats so funny to me tho like imagine having ur thoughts just blurted out loud cause you cant keep them in... but ig you've already revealed yourself to that person if you've had sex with them? also "death by joel's cock; perfect way to go" an essay by jj - would you read it ik i would (im the goat)

liz liz liz... you maniacal pixie dream... you are the tofu to my vegan lovers burger (where tf did that come from tf) ilysm <3. loved this one.. will be thinking abt... for next few days... weeks... erm... hah.

everything's bigger in texas

pairing: joel x reader

tags/cws: size kink, praise kink, p in v, oral f and m receiving, virginity loss

summary: go big or go home on your first time

a/n: reader is a virgin, but is not specified to be a certain age and in my mind is only a bit younger than joel

div creds to @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

wc: 2k

tags: @vaaaaaiolet @faysslut @leonfucker3000 @withonly-sweetheart

It's embarrassing. It's the reason why you'd hesitated to even talk to Joel in the first place, fearing he might like you back, in which case, he might ask you out, and according to Cosmopolitan and the metaphorical grapevine, you would only get three dates at most before you'd have to end it. And you better not order the fucking lobster. Ever.

You get dolled up on the night you plan to bid him adieu. You'd feel horrible for wasting his time regardless, but the fact that he decides to treat you to dinner at a fancy restaurant for your third date, makes you feel even worse.

The worst part of it all is: you really like him. He makes you feel like you're in high school again despite the fact that he's decades past that point in his life - it's the way your heart flutters in his presence, the way he makes your cheeks heat up when he compliments you. However, this is anything but an innocent crush. You want more than the kiss on the cheek he gives you when he greets you at your doorstep, more than his hand holding yours as he helps you step in and out of the car, more than his arm around your waist as he leads you to the table.

You want him to fuck you.

You try to give yourself a pep talk in the mirror before he arrives, and for an extra confidence boost, you wear the singular pair of underwear in your drawer that matches the one bra that actually fits right, hoping it'll make you feel sexy. But what good is sexy if you’re not going to have sex?

But, at the restaurant, you decide to order a double shot of liquid courage, which is a one-way ticket to going home with Joel.

He drives with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. He’s so hot that even the smallest things can get you worked up. It’s the first time in a long time that your arousal has been able to override your nerves.

You barely get your coat off before you’re pressed up against the door, and he’s kissing you with a type of hunger you’ve never felt before. You know he'll leave you with a case of stache-rash but you can't bring yourself to care.

You stumble across the room to the couch – you would’ve walked backwards into the coffee table if Joel hadn’t picked you up and carried you. You’re not even that drunk - at least, not on alcohol – just insistent on not breaking the kiss until you’re out of breath and you absolutely have to. 

When his body looms over you, all you're thinking about is the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands playing with your tits, making you gasp when his thumbs brush over your nipples. 

He gets so far as slipping his hand up your dress, but the moment his fingers brush the gusset of your panties, you grab his wrist. 

"Joel—"

"Yeah?" He's quick to sit up and back off completely — not exactly what you intended but you're grateful that he respects boundaries.

"I should just be honest with you. I’ve never done this before, so I’m a little nervous…"

You're more than a little bit nervous, especially when you're so used to guys making up excuses to leave when they notice your hesitance after you reveal the truth, after they find out that they're not guaranteed to have you in bed that night.

Joel doesn't kick you out, not even close, he looks unfazed, and you're at a loss. The script you've planned says: end scene, but the camera is still rolling. You have to ad lib.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to do that. I’m more than satisfied just getting to kiss you. Hell, I’d be happy just to have you sit on the couch with me, not touching or anything.”

You should feel more comfortable - and in a way, it does - but the novelty of the situation still leaves you dumbfounded.

You can see the worry in his eyes gain prominence as you remain silent.

"Hey," he says quietly. "Are you okay? I promise we don't have to do anything like that. We can just hang out, watch a movie or somethin', no touching at all."

"But I want you, Joel. That's the problem. I really want you."

"I want you too, but only when you're ready."

“I am ready, just nervous since this is new to me.”

“Is this your first time doing anything… of that nature?”

"No, I’ve done some things, I just haven’t gone all the way yet."

Handjobs, blowjobs, the whole nine yards - well, really, the first three bases in the sports/sex analogy.

“Would you like to tell me about those things?”

The look in his eyes – sweet and suggestive all at once gives you a spark of confidence. 

"I could tell you, but I’d rather show you," you say with a flirtatious smile. 

"Only if you let me return the favor."

It takes a lot of willpower to keep yourself composed when you're face-to-dick with Joel. You feel a rush of something — lust, nerves, both? All you can think is: there's no way that is ever going to fit inside me.

It doesn't fit down your throat, not even close, but Joel's 50, not 20, so he knows that unlike in pornography, most women cannot deepthroat. He doesn't expect you to even attempt such a feat. Just looking into your eyes while you're on your knees for him is enough to get him there.

Post-orgasm, he's internally beating himself up for not using his good southern manners and pleasing his woman first. The best he can do is double his typical dedication when he goes down on you.

He doesn't need to try that hard. In what feels like mere seconds, Joel's fingers work you open, pulling an orgasm from you when he dips his head between your legs and flicks his tongue over your clit.

When he can tell you're close, he says, "I'm right here, baby. Let go for me." His lips return to your clit and with his reassurance you let yourself fall over the edge.

It's not until your fourth date that you actually make your first attempt to lose your virginity.

He makes you cum twice - once on his fingers, once on his tongue - before he even takes his cock out of his underwear.

You're tired by that time, ready to apologize and see yourself out, but then you look at him, naked and hard in front of you, and despite your exhausted body, your pussy drools (maybe your mouth too). It gives you a jolt of energy, a rush of blood down south.

Joel’s body is positioned perfectly above you, ready to give himself to you, but he waits, looks at you with admiration in his eyes but doesn’t touch you. When he does, it's his right hand on your cheek.

"Are you gonna… put it in?" you say, laughing a little – anything to break the tension.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay first," he says with a warm smile.

"I'm more than okay," you assure him.

At your confirmation, his kisses move from your cheek to your jaw, they get rougher at your neck, your collarbone. He sucks on your tits until you whine in impatience.

You feel his breath as he huffs out a laugh into your neck between kisses. But you're more focused on the head of his cock prodding at your entrance. When Joel presses himself inside you — one inch first — you both take in a sharp breath. You're audibly wet, but there's still a stretch, a sting.

Joel sees your eyes squeezed shut and feels you tense up.

"You wanna stop?" he asks.

"No," you tell him. "Just… go slow."

He takes your hand, interlocks your fingers, before giving you another inch. For whatever reason, you hadn't expected him to be this sweet during sex, but you have no complaints.

Gradually, it starts to feel better, a lot better. You start to understand why people like this so much.

But then, you accidentally sabotage yourself when your gaze fixates on his cock going in and out of your pussy. A sense of shame falls over you when you realize he's only halfway inside you.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"It's not all the way in," you sigh.

"And that's okay, baby."

"I wanted to be able to take it all… I wanted to be good for you."

"Trust me, baby, it feels fuckin' amazing. You're squeezin' me so damn tight you're gonna make me embarrass myself."

"I can't help it."

"I know," he says, leaning down to whisper beside your ear, "and that's what makes it feel even better."

You whimper quietly - it's a flustered, needy, good noise, but still, Joel cups your cheek and holds infinite comfort within his touch as he shushes you, saying, "you're doing so good for me."

With slight shift of his hips, a change in angle, he hits that special spot inside you and you can feel the pleasure begin to build.

You moan — louder than you intended to — and it almost startles Joel, briefly takes him out of his trace. He doesn't know your sobs of pleasure well enough to be sure they're not ones of pain.

"You okay? You want me to pull out?"

"No, don't pull out. Do that again," you say, frantically grasping at him, horrified at the thought of him no longer being inside you.

"Do what again?" he says with a subtle smirk that lets you know that he knows exactly what. 

"This?” he asks as he hits the same spot again and you can't tell him 'yes' when your mouth is busy with far more obscene noises, so you nod.

"Right there?" he confirms again, as he steadily thrusts in and out of you, not pushing any deeper, only meeting that special spot over and over.

It's rhetorical, and your 'uh-huh' is more than sufficient as an answer.

Pride mixes with lust and he rattles off praises, knowing he'll get your tight, wet heat to clench around him with every single word.

"You're takin' me so well, baby. You look so pretty like this," he says.

You cry out his name like it's the only word you know, over and over again.

"You're gonna make me cum if you keep sayin' my name like that, baby."

And it's not calculated dirty talk, it's just the goddamn truth.

With begging eyes and a mouthful of moans, you nod and hope your wordless gesture will convey the meaning, which is: please.

Your legs wrap around his hips and there is nothing Joel can do to hold himself back from burying himself to the hilt. There's nothing he can do to stop himself from spilling his load inside you immediately.

You swear you can feel him in your stomach, and you can see a bulge in your abdomen, and it would be fascinating if you weren't focused on clutching the sheets for dear life in an effort to save Joel from the wrath of your acrylics as you shudder through your orgasm.

You nearly lose yourself in the bliss of your high, all you know is Joel and the way he feels inside you.

When you come to, you turn to Joel and he says, "I'm proud of you," a phrase that never fails to make you melt.

You want to say "thanks" or "I love you" or any normal response one might give to that statement, but your words are already halfway out of your mouth.

"I swear you're gonna kill me with that thing," you say, gesturing to his cock, which looks not nearly as threatening when it's soft.

When he lies down beside you and wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, you think to yourself, "maybe I am dead, and this is heaven."

You don’t realize you’ve said it aloud until Joel says, "I'm pretty sure we're still in Texas, baby.”

"Same thing.”

[artemis-fowl-angst]

Part two of the fic I posted recently

(Anyone have name suggestions?)

TW: Ed mention, sleep deprivation, obsession, paranoid thoughts, this is an Atlantis complex fic

—————————————————-

Chapter 2:

Wednesday, 1:46 AM, a cafe about .5 KM from St. Bartlebys school for young boys.

Nearly a month had passed since that conversation with Dr Po and the two had since met two more times, once to discuss the texture issues that Artemis had mentioned, a meeting Artemis had managed to weasel his way out of by setting fireworks up on the roof and setting them off 35 minutes before the session was to start, and then framing a kid who had made some less than kind comments about Artemis’s sexuality. Killing two birds with one stone.

The other meeting was to discuss unrelated events involving a murder of crows being set loose in the gymnasium.

Artemis was sitting alone at a table in a small cafe’ that was, for some inexplicable reason, still open at this hour. He was quite busy ignoring the rational part of him that was insisting that he go back to the dorms and sleep for the first time in two days.

This was always the most tedious part of an invention, sorting all the calculations and running digital tests before making a prototype. He had to do it all manually because numbers like these would crash any sorting algorithm, and Artemis hadn’t gotten around to creating his own yet. So here he was, doing 6th algebra to save the world.

Time passed, he wasn’t sure how long, over an hour, maybe two

4x

+

2=2(x+6)

…

5

Five, it’s a good number, it’s solid and it’s predictable

5 10 15

An easy pattern, it’s safe

“Artemis Fowl?”

He looked up, shaken from his thoughts, coffee refill.

“So… not to intrude, but don’t you think that 10 cups of coffee is enough for one night”

Artemis nearly snapped back at the barista but caught himself. She didn’t deserve it, she was trying to do her job and help him, gods why are you always suck a dick to everyone? They don’t deserve it. You always drive everyone away what is wrong with you? It’s your fault, your fault, your-

“Yes I suppose you’re right”

She looked relieved, all the cafes Artemis frequented knew of the vampiric kid who would come in, order an obscene amount of coffee, and tip £100. But if you pressed the wrong button you would have your ego destroyed.

“Goodnight” he picked up the last coffee and his laptop and stood. Leaving behind nothing but a warm seat and an overzealous tip.

10 cups of coffee, 5+5 two fives, ten. five, a reliable number, a steady number, a good number. Maybe with enough time and patience, he could figure out a way to make all numbers a multiple of five...that… makes absolutely no sense, what? Artemis pondered as he walked under the streetlamps on his way back to Dublin.

He felt like his sanity was slipping, eh, probably just the sleep deprivation. Despite the ration line of thought, however, something still felt off. He checked his phone, 2:01 AM. it’s not safe to be walking outside in Dublin at this hour, especially without Butler. Someone could be following him, someone could mug him, or kidnap him, one of his enemies could send someone to assassinate him. Oh gods why did he make too many enemies that was so stupid, now they’re all gonna kill him because they all hate him, it’s his fault they hate you it’s your fault your faultyou r f au l t yourfalut yourvfalutht y o u r f a u l t.

That’s irrational, you’re panicking, calm down, you know what to do. Breathe, in and out and in and out. That’s it, good job.

He took a deep breath, attempting to assuage the feeling, as he entered the dormitory doors.

“Why are you still awake? It’s 2 AM.” the voice of someone he really didn’t want to talk to right now.

“I could ask the same of you Principal Jones sir” Artemis replied, tongue practically dripping with sarcasm. He clearly had a retort, but it died in his throat as he got a look at the boy.

“Are you okay?”

“I beg your pardon.” he responded, putting emphasis on each word and phrasing it less like a question, than a chance to change the sentence. That second chance was not taken.

“You look… sick” he hesitated before speaking the last word, as if searching for a more polite way to phrase it, before giving up.

“Name a time I haven’t.”

“No, I’ve been teaching for 16 years, and I know when somethings wrong”

16, that’s four times four. Four fours, bad, bad luck, death, no-

“Yes well you dont know me, so maybe you should reevaluate your position on the matter.”

“Still, when was the last time you ate? Or slept?”

Artemis rolled his eyes. “I just got back from a cafe, and i was planning on going to sleep before you interrupted. On that note, what are you doing in the commons so late?”

The man just shrugged dismissively, Artemis decided to drop the topic, afterall the idea of that plush blanket on his bed was far too tempting to pass up.

He slipped into room 93, changed into pyjamas, and hit the covers. After all those days of work, of the ice cube project consuming all of his energy, he allowed the sleep deprivation, mental and physical exhaustion to overtake him.

@avid-author-activist @tell-the-stars-hello @artemisfowl-chaos @four-makes-my-bottom-sore @pokegeek151 @xxfanenbyanonymousxx

[literaphobe]

okay i’ll bite. what is mcyt and dream smp. like i know what they stand for but what exactly... is it.... is it actually good or just your latest hyperfixation AGSHJSJSKS

oh god beware this is long and also i technically wrote it as part of a tangent to another ask but i realized this response suited this question much better but it also makes references to that ask which i will answer right after this one

“what is minecraft youtube?” well any YouTube video that features minecraft is technically minecraft youtube. i specifically only care about like. dream + friends. i follow the ‘feral boys’ (dream george quackity sapnap karl) mostly? but if ur question is: what is dream known for? the answer is minecraft manhunt and dream smp

so what’s minecraft manhunt? to understand that, u need to understand that minecraft isn’t “just blocks” because it is a beatable game haha. u beat the game by killing the ender dragon and obviously there’s a lot of stuff u need to do to do that. but i won’t bore u w the details. “speedrunning minecraft” means u beat minecraft very fast. dream used to be the record holder for beating minecraft a few months ago. he no longer is but i won’t get into that. it’s an annoying discussion n literally no one cares. all i’ll say is if u really believe he cheated and that he wasn’t being targeted by people who have since been exposed for trying to frame him for saying slurs that he never said (amongst other stuff), then u literally hate neurodivergent people so much. that’s all!

so what is MANHUNT, specifically? basically, dream does a series where x number of people are HUNTING him down and trying to KILL him before he beats the game. if he dies even ONCE, he loses. he’s done this with one hunter (george), two (+sapnap), three (+badboyhalo), four (+antfrost), and now five hunters (+awesamdude)

the hunters have infinite lives, and a compass that leads them to where dream is at any given point in the game. dream is allowed to kill them as many times as he wants, as a form of self preservation

so what’s the allure to manhunt? essentially, it’s how dream plays the game. he’s incredibly skilled at pvp (fighting) and parkour (moving fast and agile that i can’t even begin to explain. u need to see this for urself. it’s even more impressive if u play the game) and “clutching” (how he saves himself from risky moves and all the absolutely CREATIVE ways he does it)

also all the traps he sets to kill the hunters since it’s hard to go up against multiple people no matter how good you are. and how QUICKLY he thinks. it’s amazing. people with adhd are amazing and dream is a PRIME example of that. it makes me less hateful of my adhd :) and more appreciative of my traits :)

how did he do this? lots of research, lots of practice, lots of training. dream used to be a really average minecraft player who had to beg GEORGE to go easy on him. now? george loses to dream even on 40/50 hearts (the usual is 10). dream poured his heart into making his videos, putting a creative spin and skillful spin to his content that had never really been seen/executed as well before. and so 1.5 years after he started actively making YouTube videos he has over 20 million subscribers. and I’m not kidding, that number could be 30 million in a few months from now. that’s how fast he’s growing

ok i got off topic. another great thing about manhunt is dream’s relationship w the HUNTERS. the hunters are friends who dream has known for many years, and also they come up with great plans to defeat him as well. in many ways, they can also be seen as the “underdogs” in manhunt, especially since dream won the 4 hunters series 3-2. anyway in manhunt, all of the players are in an open channel discord voice chat, so they can all hear each other talk, and also talk to each other. sometimes the hunters discuss strategies before the face off, or they dm ideas secretly in the game chat, or attempt to talk in code. but mostly dream can hear the things they say, and they can hear the things he says. it makes it so that they can attempt to trick each other, but they can also hear things that give them a leg up in the game. etc etc. the banter that goes on is like. BIG part of what makes manhunt fun to watch

and the editing...... it is very good and engaging n he chooses fun music :) the speedrun music is a meme by now but it still slaps unironically. he makes excellent choices n i am very entertained

OKAY. so what is dream smp?

(smp stands for Survival Multiplayer. aka: a lot of people play together in a world where u can die and monsters spawn. the dream part is because dream owns the server)

once upon a time, there were two best friends. their names were dream and george. they decided to play minecraft survival together, but they didn’t want to beat the game super fast this time. THIS was about having fun. they wanted to casually explore the world, build a house together, raise some animals, start a farm, etc! after a bit they started to add some of their other friends so more people could have fun with them. and then more people got added. and the dream smp started to include a roleplay aspect because they invited people who did roleplay on other servers

i won’t summarize the events for u. if u wanna know what HAPPENED plot wise, this dude evanmcgaming makes like. summaries that are low key documentaries. very well made, he includes clips from the actual lore streams when necessary! his channel is here and i’ll list the documentaries in order: first | second | third | fourth | fifth

and then this really cool 18 year old Filipino girl started animating events on the dream smp to look REALLY cool n it got so many views and her first animation was done on her PHONE w her FINGER and it made the people on dream smp go damn we need to step the FUCK up so that this girl can get better material for her animations. they are all huge fans of her. everyone is a huge fan of her. she’s called sad-ist, and so far there are 4 main animations: first | second | third | fourth

anyway now! dream smp is essentially what i would call gay planned theatre improv but the medium through which they perform is not a stage but on minecraft. there actually is WRITING involved in this, they script the series of events etc, but for the most part they don’t actively script dialogue afaik?

some truly AMAZING bits of dialogue has come out of the dream smp. the dream smp is basically. gamers transform into theatre kids before ur very eyes + some of these bitches WERE theatre kids and they’re showing it now!

it’s amazing watching the growth because a lot of them have improved leaps and bounds. one of the most notable improved actors is dream ❤️  yea im bringing him up ok because im RIGHT his acting used to just be him screaming but now he can give me chills. he’s very good n is the “main villain” on dream smp :)

and like. not only do we have people like sad-ist animating the smp we have members like quackity who include pre recorded elements in his lore streams to make it just. a truly incredible experience. quackity my beloved. i love him so much

[staylavendertea]

young avengers characters and relationships as songs

billy kaplan : season of the witch by donovan and mr. sandman cover by joe p, it’s fun, there’s that groove, it’s witches and it’s dreams; a total billy kaplan jamming out in his room in his boyfriends too big shirt 10 at night moment with that magical and just like ,, witchy billy vibe i can’t explain through words that i love dearly, it also just gives me a connection between him and wanda i really love, the family witches between soul mother and soul son and that bass in mr sandman for some reason screams billy

teddy altman : space girl by frances forever need i say more, that song screams smiling golden tall boy theodore in overalls and sweaters, prince charming of space deserves the song space girl, the song is soft like teddy is, all hugs and kisses, that is until “stupid boyfriend putting himself into stupid danger all the stupid time” and “why do i try he never listens” “i heard that” “sure now he listens” then it becomes all hugs, kisses, bickering with the boyfriend, and threats of mauling people, but that’s for childrens crusade and family matters arc to tell

tommy shepherd : rebels by call me karizma but also steady, as she goes by the raconteurs mostly just for that guitar and music, i heavily head canon billy as the pianist and tommy as the guitar and bass player all the way and steady, as she goes screams tommy’s kind of music, the song rebels because that boy is the biggest rebel around and i wouldn’t be surprised if he was an arsonist

eli bradley : i just wanna shine by fitz and the tantrums i honestly had a bit of a hard time finding a song that really perfectly fit eli, but i think this one really hits the spot - eli is totally the boy that’s just trying his best and live up to his and everyone else’s expectations, i think he’s actually a softie and repressed nerd that believes heavily in doing what is right and i think that this song encompasses that, i really miss eli bradley thank you for coming to my tedtalk

cassie lang : blackbird by the beatles (cover by dodie) cassie gives me total adorable and soft but such a cool person dodie vibes, but i think the song blackbird fits cassie on so many levels, especially the lyrics as growing up after losing her dad, getting and learning to control her powers, and growing as a super hero she knows her dad would be so proud of, i love every single one of the young avengers but mygod cassie

nate richards : run boy run by woodkid and something better by hidinin i feel for nate, that poor kid literally is running away and trying to kill his future because he knows it’s a bad road and honestly he’s so brave for that and it’s all thanks to nate that we got all the young avengers in the first place so credit will be payed where credit is due, nate is really just a clumsy teenager thats a total nutcase and a bit clueless without that common sense sometimes that will think a pack sour troll gummies and a bottle of gateorade is a well rounded training diet but he’s also a descendent of sue and reed richards and what’s there to expect from child geniuses

kate bishop : love club by lorde and ribs by lorde i kinda just stumbled upon these honestly forgotten songs in my playlist and was pleasantly surprised how perfectly kate bishop these songs are, the lyrics most likely mean something else but i see the love club as the young avengers and “go get punched for the love club” just sounds like a kate bishop thing to say, these songs give me vibes of kate bishop in a rolled sleeves black and purple flannel and black jean shorts with scuffs and bandaids on her elbows and knees, probably also a developing black eye and bloody nose but lookin badass per usual

david alleyne : karma by ajr i picked this one for david because the second i heard it david was immediately the person i thought of when listening to it, i haven’t read many comics with david in them, i’m searching tho, but i am reading the current x factor and david just goes through a lot poor dude just wants to learn and help with what he can and i love him every moment for it

america chavez : a good song never dies by saint motel and dead girl in the pool by girl in red i honestly don’t know much about america besides some basic background stuff and some her character and personality since i haven’t been able to get my hands on some ya v2 issues besides what i’ve seen online but what i have seen of her i already love her and know she is so badass and a bit chaotic but in the best way possible from the little i do know about america’s character i think these songs just fits both the vibes of how she presents and holds herself but also her personality, america is a good song that just never dies are vibes i will happily live with

loki : run the world!!! by dayglow i haven’t really read much of loki in the comics, the versions of them i know the best being the actual norse myth god and movie loki and i know how the movies can be with their comic book characters, but from what ive heard about kid and teenager loki is that they’re a little punk and this song seems to just fit that perfectly

jonas : growing pains by coin i honestly didn’t know that there was more to jonas besides ya v1 and childrens crusade but now i’m intrigued, but this song just speaks jonas to me who i was also calling judas for like ten minutes without realizing i had a totally wrong name, but from what i read and his whole thing with cass, i think growing pains very much fits a mr. jonas

now for the relationships/ships - this post is so long i am so sorry for all the reading but i’m having fun -

david and tommy : affection by between friends im not even sure completely why but the music just screams david and tommy’s vibes, especially how tommy is usually head canonized in relationships, *chiefs kiss* of a song

nate and cassie and jonas : in the middle by dodie this song is literally the three of them, like perfectly, the lyrics fit to a t and it’s literal perfection for them

billy and teddy : pleaser by wallows for how much i love them i surprisingly had a hard time finding a song for them, i know at one time i heard and had a song that was perfect but i can’t remember it all, but i think pleaser fits just as nice, it fits their personalities and the music itself is the vibe they give off to me : imma make an edit from this post previously cause i’ve been thinking about and i would like to add the song leaves by joe p cause it just fits too well, especially when looking at billyteddy fan art whilst listening to it, it’s too good : HI THIS ANOTHER EDIT IMSORRY but it literally took weeks to remember but now i remember what the original song for them i had picked - electric love by borns - it also gives me billy lightning powers vibes and i do adore some billy lightning powers, i think it would be so cool to see them mixed in with his reality warping ones

eli and nate : talk too much by coin honestly it’s them, it’s a vibe they both argue and to each other, talk way too much, i’m calling it they kissed like at least once just to see how that would go - probably arguing who was the better boyfriend when they were both single

eli and kate : falling for u by peachy! and mxmtoon this song is very eli and kate for me, especially the beginning of their relationship not relationship, was that ever really established what was happening there ?? but this song fits perfectly amongst the bickering and racking numbers of how many times they’ve saved each other’s asses

kate and america : given it all by hayley kiyoko and midnight love by girl in red i love this ship and i have no idea if there was ever a thing happening between them or if it was pure fandom but it’s amazing and i love it, hayley kiyoko and girl in red is an of course and i think these songs speak them

- now just the young avengers as a group -

leaves by joe p a song that is totally just a hang out and drive all around all night as teenagers without a care in the world song and can totally see the gang jamming out to it

hey barbara by IV of spades this song literally speaks “hey did you watch that one beach episode” sunny and everyone vibing and hanging out, i can totally imagine tommy trying to get david to dance this and the attempts made is hilarious

teenagers and na na na by my chemical romance now last but certainly not least mcr because of course mcr, these kids can definitely be punks when they wanna be, especially when they’re mutant/alien/super hero teenagers that will literally do what they see fit, all in good manners of course

whhoooopp this was a lot longer than what i was initially expecting to make but after a few hours of song surfing and trying to make tumblr typing fonts work with me we’re finally here, this was just something fun for me since i associate music with everyone, but if you’ve read this far and wanna mention a song you think fits, totally put it out there, share the music !!

[lassieposting]

skulduggery/alt!serpine for the getting together ask game?

I’m bored, so. Send me two (or more) characters for a headcanon on how I’d have them get together

OHOHOHOHO SEE THIS IS A GOOD ONE BC

ive already been thinking about this and im. Lowkey really glad im not the only one

See I always hated skug with any serpine, like I was a passionate anti from 2007 - about three months ago but. I enjoyed their dynamic in phase one and then i read like three of their interactions from sow and got converted or some shit apparently idfk, anyway u know i love an angsty ship

this got really long so tldr; enemies to vitriolic hate-sex buddies to lovers, painfully slow burn, but they'll both die claiming they still hate each other

It begins with China.

She orders him to kill Serpine, and he refuses. He's not even 100% sure why when he does. It's not like they're friends. He's killed people he liked a good deal more than Nefarian Serpine under orders.

But she says, "kill him" and he says, "no", and then things spiral so quickly that it's actually a few days before he even has time to think about her parting shot, flung at him as he walked out on her: "if you want to keep him, you'll be the one looking after him. He's your responsibility, not mine. And if he hurts someone, you -"

He'd shut the door on her at that point, but he knows what she was going to say. You look after him yourself, you train him yourself, and if he hurts someone, you kill him yourself. A wonderfully old-world way of looking at things. He's fairly sure he remembers getting the same speech from the housekeeper when he tried to bring home the ugliest feral tomcat he'd ever seen as a small boy.

(This will come back to bite him. He's not sure how or when, but it will. That's the way of things, whenever he turns his back on China Sorrows. Her last parting shot - a classic "you'll regret this" - ended up getting him killed.)

But then there's Mevolent, and cleaning up a city in the aftermath of its latest Traumatic Event, and putting a size 10 to the backsides of the City Guard, so his priorities get reshuffled somewhat, and it's almost a week later that he thinks to ask, "Heard from Serpine lately? He's being oddly quiet."

Valkyrie blinks at him from the passenger seat. Her fingertips tap tap tap at the touchscreen. She's messaging someone. He doesn't know who. "He's...around."

"Why the pause?"

"Hm?"

"You paused," he points out, switching lanes to get around a hatchback dawdling along at 60. "He's...around. You're trying to hide something from me. I'm aware you still talk to him, you know."

She doesn't deny it. He's gotten used to that, in the last few years. She doesn't tell him things anymore. It's that distance, the distance he can try to banter over but never truly remove. She's a lot further away than his passenger seat. "He's been looking for somewhere to live, like. Now that he's here for good. So, you know. That's probably keeping him busy."

Nefarian Serpine is living out of a stuffy first-floor rented room above, of all things, Vaurien Scapegrace's pub.

He knows this not because China was having Serpine followed (although she was) or because plenty of old faces from the Sanctuary still owe him favours (although they do), but because he receives a text from Scapegrace at a quarter to midnight, in the middle of a grisly murder scene.

have u beaten anyone up lately? do u want to? think thrasher just rented one of our rooms to a war criminal

He taps out a response, half-focused on the screen and half on Valkyrie examining the photos on the dead man's mantelpiece. She looks like she's just figured something out.

Which one? Thrasher, or the other guy?

By the time he's dropped her home, said hello to the furball and returned to the city, morning is bleeding into the sky. He knocks sharply on Nefarian Serpine's peeling rented door, and then again when there's no response.

From inside, a thud.

Then another, followed by some deeply impolite language, and then the door jerks open. Serpine, wearing an impressive bedhead, a scraggly attempt at a beard and a pair of patterned socks with a hole in the toe, squints out into the hall and snaps, "D'you have ANY IDEA what time it is? This place is supposed to - ah, shite. It's you."

"It is," he agrees.

Serpine gives him a sulky jerk of the head - an invitation - and vanishes back inside. He follows, closing the door gently behind him. Inside the room is dark and depressing and smells faintly of mildew and sweat. There are clothes on the floor.

He pulls the curtains open and looks out the window, giving Serpine some privacy to get dressed.

"Found me at last, have you?" Serpine asks from over by the bed. There's a rustle of fabric and the sound of a belt being done up. "What do you want? Come to take my other hand?"

That's it. That's what's different. "Other? You don't seem to be missing any at present, Nefarian. Valkyrie's work, I take it."

Serpine sits down on the bed with a squeak of springs, and when Skulduggery turns to face him, he's smirking and, thankfully, wearing trousers. "Ever so nice of her, wasn't it? Doesn't work like the old one, though. You know. The one I used on you."

He sighs. "And here I thought this last week would've given you time to come up with some new material."

Serpine shrugs and spends a moment picking out a pair of shirts from the wardrobe beside the bed. If it's a test, it's a painfully obvious one. Almost an invitation. Go ahead, shoot me.

No, this is something Skulduggery knows far more intimately. A display of brittle confidence in the face of a threat. I'm not afraid of you. Do your worst.

Serpine is afraid of him. Afraid of being arrested, maybe, or killed, or worse. He'd have relished that fear, once. Delighted in flipping the tables.

He leans back against the desk, ankles crossed and arms folded. After a moment, Serpine turns around with a shirt on a hanger in each hand. He holds them up for an opinion.

Skulduggery points wordlessly at the green one, and the blue goes back in the closet. "If you're not here to kill me, what do you want?"

While Serpine is doing up his buttons, Skulduggery retrieves the folded sheaf of paper from the inside pocket of his long coat, and holds it up. "I came to drop these off."

Serpine's vibrant eyes narrow. "What is that? An arrest warrant?"

"A list of landlords in Roarhaven willing to rent to refugees. Valkyrie mentioned you were looking."

Serpine blinks at him. Skulduggery doesn't often bother with the facade in Roarhaven, but if he had a face right now, he'd be blinking back. It's a weirdly awkward moment.

"...thanks," Serpine says after a moment, tentatively reaching for the papers; Skulduggery leans forward to pass them over. "That'd be...helpful."

He sounds very uncomfortable saying those words. When Skulduggery responds, "You're welcome," he feels much the same.

Serpine unfolds the papers and skims them. Three pages of property listings. Tipstaff had printed them off for him with only a raised eyebrow and a, "Never thought you'd move out of Dublin, Detective."

"What brought this on?"

He looks up. "Hm?"

"You show up here at an ungodly hour of the morning, nobody to rein you in, and you're being helpful? I don't buy it. I know China as well as you do. She told you to kill me, didn't she?"

"She did," Skulduggery acknowledges, and a very old, very spiky part of him gets a kick out of watching the blood drain from Serpine's face. "I told her no."

"Bollocks."

"Hard to believe, isn't it? But it's true. Ah, don't look at me like that, Nefarian. It's got nothing to do with you. I was just feeling argumentative that day. And, if nothing else, I can always rely on China to argue with me if I tell her no."

"So -"

"For my sins, she made you my responsibility, see. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, make sure you don't get up to any of your old tricks. And if you do, then I'll kill you. I'll be checking in on you to make sure you're behaving yourself. Think of me as a...probation officer, of sorts. With benefits."

More blinking. This version of Serpine is not a morning person. He bets his alternate self got to sleep in far later in this Serpine's dungeon. "I'm not seeing any benefits."

"The benefit is I get to kill you if you step out of line. I never said the benefits were for you."

"Are there any benefits in this for me?"

He considers this for a moment. "You get to live. Because of me. I saved your life. "

Serpine's face is emotionless and his voice is flat.

"Oh," he says. "Yippee."

He's interviewing a witness when his phone rings.

He politely excuses himself, and steps out into the hallway to answer it. "Pleasant."

"Hello!" Serpine says brightly, and launches immediately into, "I want a car."

Skulduggery's fake face blinks at the sigil-embossed wallpaper. It takes a second to even register the voice, and another to pick up on -

"How the -? Who gave you this number?"

"Valkyrie." Serpine sounds completely unapologetic. "And you're supposed to be teaching me to drive."

Serpine can't see his head tilt. He does it anyway. "Am I now? And what gave you that idea?"

"I'm your problem now, remember? Besides, you agreed to it," is the smug answer. "Before our little holiday back to my dimension, I said I wanted a better house and a latte and a car. And driving lessons."

"I never agreed to that."

"Well, you didn't say no. That's agreement by default. Sorry."

"Plenty of people can teach you to drive, Nefarian. You could teach yourself, even. Watch a video on Youtube."

"Detective Pleasant, I am shocked," Serpine teases, suddenly dripping with insincere concern. "Think of all those poor defenceless mortals I could run into. There's an advert on the television about how you're specifically not supposed to hit them with cars. It kills them, apparently. How will I cope without you there to make sure I resist temptation?"

Skulduggery grinds his teeth. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Immensely. I'd completely forgotten how much fun it is to have you at my mercy. And you did say you're supposed to keep an eye on me."

Skulduggery goes quiet for a moment, focusing on reining in the urge to hit something. Serpine's face. He wants to hit Serpine's face. With a chair. Trust him to figure out that being Skulduggery's responsibility meant he could go to him for help.

"Fine."

"Excellent! And now you have my number, so you can let me know when you're free."

"Since when do you have a mobile?"

"Since today," Serpine says airily. "Tanith helped me pick one out. I can talk to anyone, anywhere, whenever I like now. Isn't that great? I mean, I only have two numbers, three now that Valkyrie's given me yours, but still. Now I'll always have someone to talk to."

"This is a work line. It is not for social calls."

A passing sorcerer startles a little at his tone, and he gives her an apologetic smile. As an afterthought, he rolls his eyes in a you know how it is gesture. But she's already walking away, so really he just rolls his eyes at her back, which is probably rude of him.

Serpine is still talking. "- can send little moving pictures, and I've downloaded all these little applications, so now I do all sorts of fun things. Do you use...whatsit...Snapchat? I have Snapchat now. And I've got Angry Birds and Candy Crush and Grindr."

And that? That right there? That is more than he ever needed to know about Serpine.

"Goodbye, Nefarian," he says firmly, and hangs up.

He checks in on Serpine once a week, officially. Unofficially, he clocks more hours than he'd like to admit parked in an alley outside Scapegrace's pub, waiting for someone to scream bloody murder. Serpine spots him a couple of times, gives him a jaunty wave with his newly-regrown hand on his way to the off-licence, mocking and unconcerned.

But nobody gets murdered. Serpine seems to be...behaving. For now.

"I've volunteered you for move-in duty," Valkyrie says, apropos of nothing. When he blinks at her, she shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. "Serpine's found a flat. He needs some furniture shifting."

He's not going to throw anything at his partner in this busy mortal cafe. He's not.

"I see. And you thought that has anything to do with me because..."

She polishes off the last dregs of her drink with a slurp. "I can't float stuff up stairs."

The apartment Serpine is moving into is a decent two-bedroom on the fourth floor of a six-floor block in a quiet area with a history of minimal unexpected-demolitions-by-overpowered-supervillain. Skulduggery idly wonders, as he pulls up in the parking area behind the building, whether a mass murderer moving in - and the frequent visits by the other mass murderer charged with keeping an eye on him - will bring down housing prices. China will hate that, when she wakes up.

Serpine is waiting for him out front, surrounded by boxes and furniture, already looking a bit frazzled. His outfit is stylish and his slicked-back hair is sticking up in places where he's been running his hands though it. He startles and looks up at the sound of footsteps, and seems to breathe a sigh of relief. "Ah! You came. Valkyrie said you'd know how to go about getting all this, you know. Up there."

"You can hire people for this, you know," Skulduggery tells him. "Removal men."

"With what money?" Serpine asks, a little helplessly. "Valkyrie gave me some of her old things, but I got most of this from - what's the word? - second hand shops, and the refugee aid centre. I've been looking for work, but...you know." He gestures at his face. "This is my criminal record."

Which...is a fair point, so Skulduggery rolls up his sleeves and moves to one end of a squashed two-seater couch. "Fair enough. Grab the other end."

Serpine's mouth almost drops open. "You want to carry it? Like peasants? I thought you were here to float the damn thing!"

Well, he could. But the world isn't actively ending right now, so he can afford to be petty. "I don't use magic unless I have to, these days. We'll be doing this the old-fashioned way."

"But." The last time he saw someone look this aghast was when Valkyrie realised how the citizens of Roarhaven saw her. "But that's manual labour!"

"A little manual labour will do you good."

"Gods, I hate you," Serpine tells him as he moves to grab the other end of the couch.

Skulduggery turns the facade on specifically to give him a smug smirk. "I know."

By the time they're finishing up the boxes, Serpine's new neighbours have come out into the hall to see what all the banging is about. They seem young, mostly - too young to recognise him from the war. Skulduggery is starting to suspect that Serpine has accidentally moved into student housing, but he keeps his mouth shut. Serpine is being chatty and charming, holding court in the corridor, and Skulduggery mostly lets him get on with it in between trips to the bottom of the stairs to pick up more boxes, until a young woman who holds Serpine's front door open for him and chuckles, "Left you doing all the work, has he? He's a talker, your boyfriend. I bet you don't get a word in edgewise."

It's not often that Skulduggery Pleasant is lost for words. "I. I'm sorry. What?"

Fortunately, Serpine chooses that moment to interrupt the conversation he's having and interject, "Oh, no, darling. We're not together. He's just here to make sure I stay out of trouble."

There's something off about how he says it, though. There must be, because the woman taps her nose like he's just confided a secret, and Skulduggery can't help but feel like he's just been made the butt of a joke he doesn't fully understand.

He checks on Serpine once a week. Occasionally Serpine texts him. A blurry photo, usually paired with a caption like, "what the hell is this?"; a set of traffic lights, or a lollipop man, or a chihuahua in a little jumper. Sometimes he responds, but sometimes he doesn't bother.

It's not like they're friends.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Roarhaven's shopping district is bustling, and Nefarian Serpine is late.

Skulduggery's been people-watching, drumming his fingers on the tabletop, for fifteen minutes when he finally shows up with a to-go coffee cup in one hand and a stack of books under the other arm. He's frowning.

"You're late," says Skulduggery, by way of greeting.

Serpine shrugs, taking the seat opposite. He dumps his books on the round table and gives the menu a cursory glance. "Sorry. I was at the library. Almost missed the bus."

A waitress approaches wearing a shirt stamped with the logo of the little bistro they're sat outside, and while Serpine orders lunch, Skulduggery idly examines the titles stamped along the spines of his book mountain. Some of them look old, leather bound tomes with fancy gold lettering, and the rest seem to be...textbooks, of all things.

"A little light reading, Nefarian?"

"Huh?" Serpine - busy watching the waitress walk back inside - swivels round to face him, and shrugs. "Oh. Yeah. I want to see if they match up with the slanderous shite they're teaching at the university."

"Excuse me?"

Serpine shrugs. "Vapid and Ty - you know Ty, weird hair, lives next door - thought it might help me adapt if I learn more about how your world is different to mine, so. I've been sitting in on some classes. Unofficially. History. Mortal Relations. That kind of thing. You have battles here that never happened back home, you know."

Skulduggery folds his arms across his chest and leans back in his chair, amused despite himself. "Mortal Relations? You're going to Mortal Relations lectures. You."

"Shut up," says Serpine, pointing a finger at him. "You don't get to laugh. You're not the one nobody wants to hire. - because that's still a problem, by the way. Aren't you supposed to be helping me with that?"

"I'm supposed to be making sure you don't kill anyone or make a nuisance of yourself. Sorry to disappoint."

"Would it kill you to write me a character reference?"

Skulduggery coughs conspicuously into his gloved hand with the throat he doesn't have. He picks up the top book from Serpine's stack and flips idly through Religion & Warfare: The Rise Of The Church Of The Faceless In The 15th Century . "Think about that one for a minute, Nefarian, and you'll remember why it's not happening."

"Fine. Be like that." Serpine's shoe nudges his leg under the table. "Here, were you at the Battle of Black Rock?"

He has to think about that one for a second, then hums in the negative. "Hm. No. I missed that one. I think that was when I was holed up in Cork with a broken leg. Why?"

"History 201," Serpine muses. "I tagged along this morning. It was mostly about that fight, but it never happened in my dimension. It was borderline slanderous, honestly. The professor is an imbecile."

"You're dying to vent, aren't you?"

"Would you mind terribly?"

Skulduggery pulls his ornate pocket watch from his waistcoat pocket and checks the time. "You've got fifteen minutes. Better talk fast."

Time goes by.

He checks on Nefarian once a week. They have coffee, sometimes. Valkyrie knows not to cross the line of bringing Serpine to Skulduggery's home, but she adds them both to a group chat and neither one leaves.

Nefarian wrecks his first car, and Skulduggery makes the drive out from Dublin at 5.45am to rescue him. He calls the tow truck while Serpine sits, pale and shaken, in the Bentley's front seat, drenched from the rain and squelching miserably every time he moves.

He apologises for calling so early, and for once he sounds like he means it.

Skulduggery takes him through the McDonalds drive thru to cheer him up, and as Nefarian tucks into a box of fries with gusto, he thinks, oh no.

They're not friends. They're not.

"Is this a date?"

Skulduggery tilts his head, hand stilling over the car keys. "I'm sorry?"

Valkyrie tosses another piece of popcorn into her mouth. She's already in her pyjamas, fluffy ones with dogs on them, and she's flicking through the Netflix queue. "You're all dressed up. Is this a date? Have you two finally gotten over yourselves? God knows it's been long enough."

He snatches up the car keys and sniffs, disdainful. "After all these decades, Valkyrie, if that's what your expert detective skills are telling you, I have failed as a mentor."

"And now you're getting defensive."

"I'm doing no such thing. Where's Tanith, by the way?"

She laughs and does double fingerguns at him. "And that's deflection!"

He sighs - dramatically, for her benefit - and as he checks his pocket watch, she continues, "And, she's on her way. Get out, already. You have a date to keep and we have movies to watch."

"It's not a bloody date," he complains, patting his pockets to make sure he's got everything. "And I originally asked you."

"Yeah, but opera's boring. Here, is he meeting you there or are you picking him up?"

"Goodbye, Valkyrie."

"See?!" She shouts after him as he shuts the front door. "Date!"

[everyothermouse]

A lil group portrait of the time au adventuring gang!! Them <333

Basically tol fucked up as a kid and is now on the run from the law, but realized that since his life was so crazy he could live off of telling stories of his wacky adventures. When he met Jay he wanted him to come with him, and when he found out jay couldn't come cus he was virtually a demon/god/magic magnet he decided he NEEDED to bring him to capitalize on how it'd make more cool stories. And yeah it worked so since then he's been collecting wackos to aaa go crazy aaaa go stupid (and also bcus safety I numbers or whateva, pop and pip are also criminals and pastel and jay are crimes against god <3) more about each individual under the cut!

Doin them from left to right :)

Pastel: died when she was messing around with some friends and got stuck under a big rock and left to starve. But because of a fluke in the underworld her God decided to resurrect her, a right usually only belonging to saints. Because of this she's now poorly pretending that she totally did something to deserve being revived (she tells a different story every time someone asks, she thinks it's funny) to avoid being persecuted for suspected witchcraft. She met Jay when they were both drunk and they had fun fucking around in the city, and she spilled the beans to him that she was revived for no reason. She regretted it, but jay didn't kill her because even though he's religious he knew what it felt like to be magically cursed and have everyone be pissed at u for it. Also she's really funny with jay so tol begged her to come with them to add more Comedy(tm) to his memoirs

Pop: a time traveller and angel who is trying to hide both of those facts but only really succeeding at hiding the time travel thing. When they were a kid they traveled to this time with his friends Lustre and Cherrybomb, but when they were attacked by the vicious royal guard they weren't able to escape without leaving Lustre behind. Cherrybomb super repressed that memory, and while pop recovered from some minor injuries they vowed to never time travel again. Yeah they only kept that up until they were like 15, but they still couldn't bring themself to go back to when they left Lustre. But now they're 26 (well technically they're like 33 but in their time their supposed to be 26) living with their boyfriend cherrybomb and have years of time travel experience under their belt, and they're ready to go back. Except they can't go back because they created a travel block for themself by accident because of how upsetting the event was, so instead they traveled as close as they could, about 10 years in the future of the time. Now they search for any form of closure, all they need to know is what happened to their friend, and they will do whatever it takes to find this out. But angels aren't super welcome in the past, especially not with uncut wings, so it's not exactly easy for them to navigate this time period. But after a while of their search they met two lovely children (well young adults), a demon and a "cursed" (nowadays they call em spiritually gifted) and felt so bad for how much the world seemed to be against them they decided they could travel with them, just for a bit, to protect them. They tried not to get attached. They failed. They're in it for the long run now aren't they TwT also as they explore this time and learn more about the gods, they start to realize that they might... be the God of longevity???? Or at least an older version of them became them? Time travel is fucked man

Btw Lustre plays a big role in this plot, her hyper futuristic knowledge, 'blessed' white eyes, and strange God gifted clothing would all lead to him rising to a much different role than fugitive rather quickly, but they're not who this post is about ;) also I'm gonna go bottom to top for the 3 in the middle let's go

Lune: just a little guy :) lune is a young rancher/gardener who worships the God of the wood, who kind of goes missing sometimes and is lowkey the least loyal God but shhhh he loves them. Lune and tol were childhood friends (along with their pal cleo) but on one of their little excursions tol took something very important to a very powerful king, and refused to give it back. As retribution the king destroyed their entire town, and cleo put all the blame on tol, tol and lune both knew lune had to take the side against tol in order to not have the town turn on him. So yeah he moved with the town to bring up a brand new farm, long awaiting the day when tol would come home and say that things were OK and they could settle back in town together, hopefully with cleo too. That didn't happen, but tol did come back and peer pressure lune into part time adventuring with him! So yeah generally lune just runs his lil farm and prays, but when tol comes to pick him up he gets a chance to go be free to act batshit crazy, just like when he was a kid 🥰

Pipes: DEmon! One time lune and tol had a little squabble so lune was like 'im gonna get a new best friend and ur gonna regret this' and tol was like 'yeah right, u live with a bunch of criminals right now no one's gonna wanna be ur bestie dumbass' so lune just walked into a cave at night and dragged out this little nonverbal demon because demons who live alone in caves don't have high standards for friends. Even tho it was just a ploy to make tol jealous lune went super hard on it and now pipes is actually friends with the gang lmaoo

Tol: like I said with lunes, stole something important from a king as a kid, monarch got pissed, blew up the town, town got pissed at tol for it, and since then he's been on the run because he's too stubborn to give back the damn thing (they could have just attacked HIM for it, but since la queen decided to fuck with his town, his family, tol thinks he doesn't deserve to have it back.) He had to run from town to town and got into a lot of danger in his attempts at finding places to hide, but he lacks fear and tended to fight stuff off. As a kid he found that he could get enough pity to be welcomed into towns if he told people he had to fight a monster to get there, so he told stories at every town and camp he went to of his hardships. But as he got older, those he stayed with beckoned him to keep talking, and more and more people said they had heard of his adventures. And that's when when it clicked, his shining ticket to true freedom wasn't a place, it was his stories. They gave him food, shelter, fun, memories, a life. So he made it his mission to never settle down, to make his life as crazy as possible and to talk about it as much as possible, and if he ever ran out of energy to adventure, he'd spend the rest of his dying days writing and writing his entire life story. He thought this was a life he'd live alone, but one day he sought refuge in jays little lonely house because he thought it was abonded, luckily though Jay had just been praying for a second chance at life and decided that considering the timing, tol must be that second chance. So yeah jay patched him up, found out on his monthly supply route he was harboring someone very wanted, and took care of tol even harder because he didn't know or care why he was wanted, he just knew that anyone who had a drawing of them as a child on a wanted poster definitely didn't deserve it. So yeah they're besties now.

AAA I wrote out a really long description for jay but tumblr glitched and I lost it :'O ble here's a shorter rewrite cus I'm not writing out that whole thing again >:P

Jay: brought up in a church village,, he was born with the curse, which allows him to tap into magical properties very easily, and be very easily controlled, manipulated, and possessed by them. This allowed him to be very connected with his god (the god of longevity) but also meant he was often treated as a security risk and a monster by the adults of his town since he could let in evil spirits so easily. He spent most of his time praying and he became obsessed with acting on compulsions (repeated prayer, overscrubbing, scratching himself, touching religious things until he felt like he touched them "right") because he believed they were messages from God and would prevent him from becoming evil (look he was a teenager and everyone told him he was a monster his whole life leave him be.) He gets possessed twice, mage as a rep of the town is like "either have ur cursed removed or leave town forever" (uncursing is only hypothetically possible, it's hella dangerous) and he's scared itd sever his connection to his god so he leaves and he's upset bcus his entire life plan was built around his church, so now he's livin alone on a hill and leaving like once a month, he stays up there and sews and prays mostly, he sort of works on himself and becomes vaguely mentally stable, so he prays for a second chance at life since he lost his original path and needs a sign where to go, and then boom tol shows up and the rest is history. Now he has his own little family and things are going great :) other than the still getting possessed like once a week but shhhh

Pip: in between the entrance to hell and the religious central of the continent is a little town that sides with neither. They mostly fuck around and find out, and in this town lives a monster researcher and her less formal wife, pip! Pip is just a silly goofy little guy livin life, and when the crazy bunch shows up she feels like he's finally found her people :3 and for the first time the group gains a member who's begging to join them as opposed to the other way around

Ya and together they all go on wacky lil adventures with demons and monsters and monarchs and what not.

Tldr pastel is a funny lil dead guy, pop is a time traveller and the Adult of the team, lunes a lil farmer man, pipes a hobo demon they picked up off the side of the road, tols a little criminal demon adventurer, jays a religious weirdo who tol dragged out of his hermit hut, and pips an insane little guy

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 

[whyralltheusernamestaken]

Okay so I have an oc names is Arbany her quirk is indestructible wings and telekinesis and I would like u to do her x Bakugo where they fight and he say something that hurts her feelings and she later has a fight with some villains and almost die and whatever else u wanna add but an happy ending if that’s not too much for you I don’t wanna stress u out and if u don’t wanna do it it’s fine or if you have an better idea I will gladly take that thank u so much again I love you work take care 💕💕💕

A/N : omggg tysm for requesting and you’re so sweet ahhhh!! It actually means the world to me!

Apologises if she’s ooc, I’m not really sure what her personality is like.

Bakugou x oc

Warnings : violence/fighting, swearing

Words : 3,800

Masterlist 

Arbany had met Bakugou during the June of their first year in high school, meeting each other for the first time when her school Shiketsu High bumped into his. The impression they left on each other wasn’t the best. She remembered him as the foul mouthed, egoistic boy with a superiority complex, and he saw her as a good for nothing brat with one too many words and nothing but a dumb set of wings.

She had managed to knock him off his pedestal after she received her hero licence before he had and it sparked rivalry of sorts, Bakugou vowing that he would never lose to her again. They had stayed in contact after Kirishima asked for her number, adding her to a group chat with himself, Bakugou and a few more of their friends.

Soon, unbeknown to any of their other mutual friends, they had began to text privately, and she often found herself rushing to the phone whenever his special notification sounded. They would often take about modern day affairs, the latest updates on well known heroes and villains, and sometimes they would open up and talk about themselves, asking each other for advice on certain things or how their day went.

It wasn’t long before Arbany found herself developing a massive crush on him. Sure his attitude was brash and unnecessarily rude, but that didn’t mean he was a terrible person, in fact he did care a lot, and she supposed he just tried hard not show it for some odd reason or another.

They would meet up regularly, normally at places that were a few train stations away from their houses. The distance between their schools wasn’t incredibly big, but it did take at least an hour to get to one place from another, so they compromised with spots in the middle. On specials occasions, when it was their birthdays or a pubic holiday, one would wait by the school gates of the other.

This led to their classmates noticing and hence teasing them about each other. On Arbany’s side, her face would flush, ears light pink as her friends made comments about shipping them whereas on the other side of town, Bakugou would scream threats as his friends laughed.

Eventually, they started dating. It was a few weeks into the second year and Bakugou had asked her out during a picnic in a field with a wreath of fresh flowers that he had hidden in his backpack and a necklace. It was cheesy, and he was embarrassed the entire time, his cheeks dusted with red, letting out small curses every now as then, but he decided the massive smile on who was now his girlfriend’s face was worth him putting down his ego and taking the first step.

In the following autumn, Arbany had transferred into his school for the last year, after her parents moved for their jobs, she decided to finish off her second year at Shiketsu before joining her parents closer to UA. She was understandably upset at leaving behind her good friends, however being with her boyfriend of nearly a year and also his friends, who she was pretty close to as well, helped cheer her up significantly.  

“Arbany!” Mina called, waving her over to the side of the gym. She walked over, pulling on her sports jumper as Aizawa began telling them of today’s training lesson. It was a 1v1 spar with no quirks and he gave everyone the choice to choose a partner.

“Are you going to spar Bakugou?” Mina asked.

Arbany started, “Possibly I-” before cutting herself off as she watched the blonde stomp towards Midoriya.

“Fight me Deku.” he shouted.

She laughed slightly, shaking her head before turning back to Mina. “I think I’ll choose someone I rarely train with.” she said, to which the latter nodded.

“Alright, you better not loose!” she cheered before walking off. Arbany looked around, catching sight of Todoroki standing alone.

“Hey Todoroki!” she called out, smiling as he turned around. “Would you like to be my partner?”

He nodded politely, before the pair began walking to an empty marked area of the hall. Her physical skill was only a few hairs short of Todoroki’s, him often catching to smallest openings and attacking. She stepped back in a wide stance, bringing her leg up which he blocked, before jumping up and swinging the other leg. He dodged, stepping backwards as she swung up, about to land a punch when a sudden large explosion sounded.

“The hell?” she jumped back, whipping her head around to see a large charred dent in the floor of the hall.

“Bakugou! This is a no quirk exercise.” Aizawa shouted, using his scarf to hold the younger boy back from continuing to attack Midoriya. “Are you alright Midoriya?”

She felt a small pang of guilt. Maybe if she had spotted Bakugou’s increasing anger towards the other boy, then she could have possibly prevented this. Maybe she should’ve payed more attention to her own boyfriend.

“I’ll take him to nurse’s office.” she offered, walking towards the boy and pulling on his arm.

“It’s alright I’m fine.” Midoriya protested, shaking his head but she tugged on his arm again and he followed without much more complaint. In the background she could hear Bakugou screaming at her to leave the damn nerd alone but she simply ignored him.

After leaving the hall, she slowed down her pace, letting go of his arm. “I’m sorry about Katsuki, I’m not sure why he even thought something like that would be acceptable.” she sighed, rubbing her forehead as Midoriya awkwardly chuckled.

“It’s not your fault don’t worry.” he reassured her.

“No it’s not.” she huffed out frustrated, “but maybe I could’ve talked him out of pulling something like this.”

Midoriya shook his head. “I think we need to sort it out between ourselves.” he said. “There’s no need to blame yourself Arbany.”

She nodded and sighed, stepping into the nurse’s office after him and looking around for any burn ailments.

Bakugou was seething. He detested the thought of his girlfriend together with the only person on earth that he utterly loathed. As soon as class ended, he rushed off to find Arbany, spotting her near their classroom and pulling her to the side.

“Why are you hanging out with the damn Deku.” Bakugou asked.

She sighed, grimacing. “I was not ‘hanging out’ with him, I went to treat him for a burn that you caused.” she answered, pointing a figure to his chest.

“He could’ve easily taken care of that himself.” he muttered.

“No Katsuki. He could’ve easily not been hurt at all if you just learn how to grow up.”

He could feel himself shaking with anger as he clenched his fists. “What the fuck do you mean I need to grow up.”

“Katsuki you are literally an adult next year, stop acting like a child towards someone who literally hasn't done anything to deserve this hate.”

“So you’re defending him now?”

“Yes! Yes I am because I think you’re being utterly unreasonable.”

“I don’t get you. You’re my girlfriend and yet-”

“Exactly! I’m your girlfriend and you should listen to me when I tell you what you’re doing something wrong. I care about you and that’s exactly why I’m not going to condone this behaviour.”

“But he’s just a fucking loser-” He stopped shouting to hold his head with his hand, rubbing his temple. “Look, I didn’t pull you over for a fight.”

“Well I’m not sure what you expected pulling a stunt like that.”

“Look I can explain-”

“You literally attempted to kill him. For what reason? Because he’s your rival?”

“No because-”

The sound of a phone ringing cut him off. “Hold on, let me take this.” she said, side stepping away and bringing the phone up to her ear.

“Hello? Arbany speaking.”

“Hello Arbany, you are being requested for a case.”

“Alright, I’m coming right now.”

“Mirio is waiting for you at the front gates.”

“Thank you.” she said before hanging up the phone, turning around. “Listen I’ve got a job now, but don’t you dare think this conversation is over Bakugou Katsuki.”

“Wait- Arbany!”

She ignored him, rushing off back to the classroom to gather her bag before running down the hallway and stairs. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, telling herself to stay calm as she slowly counted to 10 before regaining her composure. “You’re okay Arbany, you can do this.” she said to herself, pushing open the main doors and quickly walking to the school’s front gate.

“Mirio!” she called out, a smile plastered on her face as she threw her bag in the back seat and climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“Hey Arbany.” he replied, throwing her and earpiece before starting the engine and speeding down the road as she put on her seat belt, catching herself with her hand as the car lurched forward.

“Woah, slow down or you’re going to hit someone.” she laughed, securing the piece around her ear.

“I’ll be careful, but today’s job is really urgent.” he said, and she grimaced at the lack of a single hint of humour in his voice.

“Well that sucks, who is it?”

“The League again.” he sighed.

“Seriously? I’ve never met them before.” she answered, a pang of excitement hitting her as she was finally going to face the area’s most infamous villains.

“Really? They’ve been all over your class since first year.”

“Oh damn. I transferred this year so I guess I missed all of the fun stuff.” she answered.

“Well, I wouldn’t say fun.” he replied with a small laugh. “Your boyfriend did end up kidnapped for a good few days.”

She huffed at the word boyfriend and this caused Mirio to loosen up and actually laugh for one time in their journey. His usual upbeat self was incredibly tense and Arbany noticed as soon as she heard his less than enthusiastic greeting. “What did he do this time?”

“Arh.” She put her head in her hands before looking back up and staring at the traffic light. “I don’t even know, he just acts like a child like oh my fucking god Katsuki you’re turning 18 next year and you’re still trying to kill this poor bean over some childhood superiority complex.” she ranted, throwing her hands up in the air, hitting the car’s ceiling by accident.

“That sounds like him.” Mirio laughed, turning the corner, them both now spotting a massive colour of smoke.

“Well shit.” she cursed, tightening her grip on her seat belt as she saw a few people running away from the general direction. “Care to brief me in on which fucker might have done this?”

“Most likely Dabi.” he replied. “He’s the most active member who has a fire quirk. Just a warning, they may possibly have nomus.”

He pulled over to the side of the road, a sticker on his car’s windscreen showing that he was okay to do what would have otherwise been illegal parking. She got out of the car, running towards the scene. “Damn I don’t even have my hero suit on.” she complained under her breath, jumping into the air and with a flap of her wings she was above, looking down towards the scene.

“[hero name] here reporting for duty.” she called out after turning the ear piece on.

“Alright Arbany, your job is to make sure all civilians are out of the area.”

“Understood.” she answered, starting by doing a massive lap around the burning building with her wings. Spotting a pair walking towards it’s general direction, she swooped down and guided them to another route, before flying back up.

Getting closer to the building her eye caught sight on a fairly unburnt rooming, severely out of place considering the entire building was up in roaring flames and smoke. She slowly made her way to, realising a fairly young woman had been using her quirk to fireproof the room, but visibly growing tired. Arbany banged harshly on the window, getting no response as the woman remained leaning against her bed, almost motionless apart from the slight turn of her head, her eyes widening at the fact that someone had noticed her.

Arbany landed on the balcony, stepping back before swinging her leg up and shattering the window. She reached inside and unlatched the door, walking in hurriedly and placing her hands underneath the woman’s knees and back.

“Are you alright miss?” she asked, lifting her up and exiting the building.

She closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips. “Thank you...”

“It’s alright.” Arbany replied, dropping to the ground at the sight of an ambulance, passing the woman over to a health worker. “Have some rest.” she said before jumping back into the air.

Before she could even travel another few feet, something at an incredible speed knocked into her from behind, sending her shooting down into the ground. “Fuck!” she screamed, wrapping her wings around her as she plummeted into the concrete.

“Arbany? Are you alright?” her ear piece sounded.

“Oh my fucking god.” she cried out, standing back up with a wobble and turning to see a massive lump of muscle and flesh flying in the sky. “Holy shit that thing is ugly.” she snorted, rolling back her shoulders to ease the tension as she most likely had to face that thing.

“That’s a nomu. Try not to engage in contact.”

“I think it’s a bit too late for that.” she responded as it started flying down towards her at a rapid speed.

“We’re sending another pro hero your way. Stay on your toes until then.”

“Alright.” she answered, focusing her mind on the incoming nomu and trying to stop it with her telekinesis. It slowed down considerably, no longer a blur in the sky, however she knew that once it reached her, even with a swing of it’s arm, she would be toast.

She couldn’t take her eyes off it otherwise he telekinesis would cease to work, so slowly she flew back into the air. The nomu changed it’s direction of path and sped towards her. She watched it intently as it grew closer and closer and by the time it was arms distance, she forced all of her energy onto it. It slowed down even more, and with that, she flew up, waiting for it be directly underneath her, before hardening her wings and burying them into it’s muscles as knifes.

It let out an ear piercing howl and with that she focused her telekinesis onto her leg, giving it extra as she stomped downwards on the nomu’s body. It started falling almost instantly, yet in that minuscule time frame, it had grabbed onto her ankle, pulling her down as well. With a shift of it’s body, it launched Arbany down towards the ground with it’s immense strength.

“Fuck.” she screamed. Her wings couldn’t catch any updraft of air so she resorted to encasing herself in her wings again. She hit the ground with a massive crash, the things around her becoming debris as she lay still in the dent in the ground.

In the quick seconds this had all occurred, she had forgotten to unharden her wings. She groaned in frustration at her stupidity as she felt an overwhelming pain in her side.

“Well fuck I might be out of commission soon.” she announced, roughly pulling out one of her feathers out of her side and tying her clothes tightly around the wound.

“You can stop Arbany, Endeavour has made it to your area.”

“I’m gonna keep helping until I can’t move anymore.” she muttered, standing up slowly as she winced at her side wound. She fell in pain as she stretched out her wings. Her wings were indestructible yes, the bones in them could never break, however that didn’t mean the rest of her body was too. The muscles connecting her wings to her back had been severely injured in the fall.

She felt utterly useless. She was a combat hero as much as a rescue one but she had essentially failed at both tasks. She watched as the nomu burned up in flames, still rushing towards Endeavour in a rage. With the last part of her energy, she focused and stopped most of it’s movements, and he sent another fire attack it’s way. With it unable to dodge or even shake out the flames, it slowly burnt up. She guessed this one was the regenerative type the others had encountered before.

With a small nod, satisfied at her help, she leaned against a wall and said “Alright well I’m gonna take a quick nap.”

“Arbany you are still in the battlefield, open your eyes right now!” She winced at the shouting in her ear and grumbled.

“Fine fine, I’m leaving.” she slowly started limping away, her hand on the wall to steady her and she made her way back to the main road. Spotting the ambulance again she stood up straight to walk over, missing the curb and falling flat on her face.

She felt fatigue wash over her as she rested her head on the concrete. Her head was spinning uncontrollably and she closed her eyes shut, hearing people running over to her as she slowly faded away.

~~~

“Kacchan I’m guessing you’re going to visit Arbany right now?” Midoriya asked as Bakugou strolled into the kitchen.

“What?” he scowled, turning his attention to the other boy with a glare.

“Wait you haven’t heard?”

“Do I look like I have Deku? Fucking spit it out already.”

“R-right, Arbany’s in hopsital after the villain attack by the-”

“Are you fucking with me Deku? I swear to god.”

“N-no I’m not!” he quickly answered, shaking his head before getting out his phone and turning to the most recent screenshot. “It’s on the news.”

Bakugou snatched the phone off him, his eyes squinted as he hurriedly read the small test. “Fuck.” he said, tossing the phone back to him absentmindedly as he rushed out of the kitchen, grabbing someone’s random jacket that was rested on the couch before running out of the door.

He sprinted all the way to the front gate, propelling himself with his quirk. He stopped at a main road, waving down a taxi aggressively before jumping inside and demanding they go to the nearest hospital. He tapped his feet impatiently as the drive there felt so agonisingly long. His eye watched digital distance measurer and calculator, pulling out what he assumed to be more than enough cash.

“Just park here.” he demanded as the hospital came into view.

“Sir I can’t-”

“Just fucking park here.” he shouted, the timid guy agreeing and stopping the car. He slammed the cash onto the dashboard before bolting out.

“Sir your change.” the driver called out.

“Keep it for all I care.” he shouted back, not sparing another glance as he ran into the hospital, knocking into a few people and almost colliding with a few more.

“Arbany. Arbany [L/N]” he said at the front desk as he almost started shouting at the receptionist for how slow he felt she was going.

“Second floor, room 214.” she said and he nodded, rushing to the elevators.

“Please refrain from running in here.” she called out from behind him. “This is a hospital, not a playground.”

He disregarded her words, pressing the up button multiple times, watching the floors come down to the ground, stepping in and pressing the 2. He soon reached her room, knocking before entering. She sat up on the bed, grimacing slightly as her side throbbed.

“Fucking hell, what were you thinking.” he said, sitting down next to her. His words were harsh but she could hear the genuine worry in them.

“Funny thing right, I did this to myself.” she chuckled, pouting when he didn’t show any reaction to her lightheartedness expect sighing.

“You idiot. Do you know how worried I was when I heard that. And if was from that nobody Deku as well.” he rubbed his eyes, his lips drawn up in a tight grimace.

She kissed her teeth. “Yeah, we’ve got to sort out what problem you have with Midoriya.”

“Fuck that brat, don’t think you can just change the conversation topic. What the fuck were you doing out there to get you landed in this bloody hell.” he threw his hands up, but his tone remained worried, making sure not to raise his voice at her.

“I’m a hero Katsuki, of course there are going to be injuries now and then.” she reasoned.

“I know.” he breathed out. He knew too that it was inevitable. They were both aiming to be pro hero and such a path like that wouldn’t be smooth sailing. “I know, I just...”

She stayed silent, not rushing him to go on as she wrapped her fingers around his. He clasped her hand in both of his, bringing them up to his head as he looked down at the bed. “I was scared.” he whispered.

Her heart melted at his words. It was almost never that someone like Bakugou would put down his pride to admit something like that. She reached over with her other hand, stroking his hair as he continued. “They wrote about you as if you were in some life threatening condition.”

She giggled. “That’s the media for you.”

“I, I thought I might lose you.” he said. She felt him shaking and pulled him towards her, wrapping her arm around him.

“I’m not going to leave you, you dummy.” she assured him. “I promise.”

He pulled back, flicking her on the forehead. “You better, otherwise I’m gonna follow you to hell and beat your ass.”

“Hey!” she pouted. “Who says I’d end up in hell anyways.”

“Pfft, and you’re going to heaven then?”

“Yes!”

“In your dreams.” he snorted.

She laughed at him before they fell into a silence, fiddling with his fingers as he simply just stared her.

“What’s up sweatpea?” she asked, tilting her head to the side and trying to read his expression.

“I love you dumbass.”

“Ew gross.” she laughed as he glared at her. “I’m just joking, ow! Don’t hit me I’m injured.”

Leaning back on the bed and away from him, she stuck her tongue out. “Say it back.” he demanded.

She squinted her eyes at him. “Are you sure you’re not the injured one Katsuki?”

He huffed and crossed his arms. “Fine then. Be like that.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding oh my god.” she rolled her eyes, leaning forwards to peck him on the lips.

“I love you too, you baby.”

If it wasn’t for her being injured, he might have blown her to pieces in sheer embarrassment.

[majorxmaggiexboy]

my favorite part about TURN is how most of Ben’s little handful of Personal Enemies tend to just. forget he exists. usually (but not always) right after verbally confirming their intent to murder him.

( disclaimer: this is a very silly list and not meant to be taken seriously at all, especially toward the end, although imo i’ve got a point on some of them XD )

Simcoe is more implied, but i mean he has his own special way of saying Ben’s name and a very good reason to Absolutely Hate Him (they share a birthday!), they had an excellent dialogue basically debating each other under the guise of playing Devil/Angel to Newt...but ultimately he’s content to go after Abe and Caleb and be the bane of Anna’s existence and never think about Ben again.

Rogers literally spends all of s1 on a full-on quest to get revenge against Ben for having the audacity to fight for his life and survive Rogers’ ambush. The first time he hears Ben’s name, it zooms in on his face as a “oh sh** he comin” song plays over the scene.The last time they see each other, Rogers  l i t e r a l l y  swears to hunt Ben down....and then only ever mentions him again, one time, to Abe, and then hecks off to do his own thing and doesn’t even go back to the Must Kill Tallmadge quest after finishing the Must Kill Jandre quest. Drops Ben like a hot potato (not an inaccurate label but we digress)

Sarah considered shooting him but she isn’t really on this list

Arnold gives his whole stupid spiel in the tavern about how Ben’s one of the Meddling Kids who ruined his life and how he Will Not Let That Stand and then, to be fair, you know what, actually he might have been trying something when he invited Ben to turncoat. He knows Ben’s Head of Intelligence. Maybe he had a little backstabby plan there. We’ll give him half a point for inviting Ben via postcard to come to his little ratbastardly house party, immediately after verbally confirming intent to murder him...before proceeding to never think about or mention Ben again. half a point to Arnold. However points off for lack of follow-through or finesse bring his score to a number so negative we don’t actually have a number for it.

Lee not only decided he wanted to murder Ben, but was also fully gonna make it happen until Wash intervened and then Lee couldn’t even be bothered to plot in the background or send assassins or anything. no points. actually two points for the hilarious scene where he does intend to attempt murder. but points off for being Lee and also for giving up. Hasn’t he heard of Try, Try Again? I mean Ben’s fully immune to death but come on, dude.

Randall got his face rearranged by Ben (and the people said amen) and while it was mentioned that there was a fallout from this (for Ben) we didn’t see it and Randall didn’t discuss it and it was never brought up again. Granted there is nothing that could improve Randall’s score at this stage of the game but you know what now his score is even lower. Randall Sucks, objectively.

To be fair, Gamble never claimed he’d like to- actually no I take it back he actually did verbally confirm that, for pretty much no reason, he’d like to not only murder Ben but also ~be mean to him~ first. Actively attempted to hunt him down after he escaped but apparently was eventually like “eh, forget it” before getting indecisively d’Artagnan’d by Ben. He doesn’t lose any points though because he’s got a cute smile and is weirdly charming in a swamp weasel kind of way. Also used his last words to make a pun.

Bradford’s on the list just bc he did not give a damn. He didn’t forget anything with Ben bc Ben was barely on his radar to start with. He was so unconcerned with actually participating in the rivalry, that Ben had to carry 90% of it himself. Every time Ben shows up Bradford’s just like 🙄 doesn’t lose any points bc the only reason he didn’t make a solid attempt to do whatever he was going to do right after announcing intent to do something, was that Caleb was there as backup (always) and then the whole dying thing happened. Solid effort, Brad, deserved better and i like him so much. 9/10

Hewlett’s on the list just in order to mention that Ben literally charged into town with guns blazing and ruined his day and Hewlett was just like...he had nothing to say. Ben was off his radar so fast they couldn’t even get to the Personal Enemies stage.

Jandre unfortunately loses some points for the fact that Ben gets outed to him as Head of Intelligence and Johnsauce doesn’t particularly care or do anything with that information he’s just like “that’s weird bc based on what I know about Tallmadge, the kid sucks, but based on what I know about Washington’s Head of Intelligence, the kid is brilliant. Huh.” so he loses points for never even trying to ruin Ben’s day or anything like that but he gets a pass bc their little interaction bit was all sweet and mutal-respecting and emotionally just. yeah.

Mary’s on the list because she should have had a personal grudge like “you’re the one who invited my husband into your dangerous little spy club?” and they had some tension but she didn’t do anything and really all they did was yell at each other so u-u

hell let’s throw Scott on here too because he was like “dISCIPLINARY ACTION” but then he was like “...LATER.” like dude you can shoot like three dudes dead with no trial but you can’t even roll up one of those reports and bop Ben on the head with it? tch. no gumption Scott, you suck. Loses points because he was so convinced that someone else would handle Ben for him that he (thankfully) didn’t just do it himself.

you know what let’s actually put Washington on this list too just because of the fact that two different times, TWO TIMES, he reaches the point of being like “TALLMADGE YOURE FIRED” and literally nothing happens. Especially funny because the first time, he said Ben was fired for not being able to get the spies to listen to him and follow orders...and then Ben proceeds to...not...follow orders...like ever. at all. straight-up planned to go behind Wash’s back to rescue Hewlett but Caleb was like “I got this”...continued to defy orders right up through the second time he got fired. 10/10 but no actually Washington loses some points for just being like “I’m done with you. You’re fired.” instead of dropping that cape over Ben’s head and then spinning him a few times or something. Show some initiative, my guy, be creative. Express yourself. Anyway he apparently forgot Ben had been fired both times it happened so. List.

Peggy’s on the list because not only did she cook up a scheme to try to at least get information from Ben, she also...look, she was told by Arnold that Ben’s Head of Intelligence. The wheels turned, onscreen, for God and everybody to see. She goes to Ben, turns on the charm, which he’s too busy admiring the clock and being sad to properly appreciate, had that whole thing where she was like “Hey,,,,wanna dance,,” and he was like “I’m at your service” (!!!!!!!!) and she was like, “I should think so” (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and there was nothing happening right then that wasn’t her being like “i’m gonna squeeze this himbo for every ounce of war-critical intel he can give me. won’t even know what hit him” aND THEN IT’S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. SHE JUST. SPOKE TO HIM LIKE ONE TIME AND DROPPED THE WHOLE SCHEME. WIThIN THE SAME EPISODE. 1000000000000/10 Iconic, Pegs. Well done on the “Let’s not bother with Tallmadge, he’s a silly boy” angle!

Lastly let’s actually put Tarleton on here just because i mean in real life, he and Tallmadge allegedly had a run-in (an ambush, actually) that involved him stealing Tallmadge’s horse, some money, and some documents. In the show? Never even shows up. Not even mentioned. Dude quit before he even started that’s how uncommitted...boooooo

[rainandhotchocolate]

Movie Star

A/N Hello! This is another fun idea I’ve had, I want to write more so let me know if u like it! It’s Sirius x reader fake relationship trope cause I’m yet to do that and YES PLEASE anyway enjoyyyy lel

Y/N stared in the mirror. She was wearing her nicest pair of jeans and cropped black flowing top with matching black boots that she had spent three hours shining last night. She’d even done her hair so it curled softly down her shoulders, having practiced it for the last week. She’d done everything she had planned for today, a whole binder sitting in her bag (that she’d also polished), healthy snacks and sunglasses and a small bottle of vodka, just in case, but she couldn’t move from the mirror.

It was her first day on set. Ever. Living in LA had been one of the most challenging and painful thing Y/N had ever done, and she had been very close to driving home and just fucking becoming a full-time taco bell server but she received a call two days previous for a tv series role because the girl originally offered it had been offered to play Meryl Streep’s daughter in some likely million dollar movie.

“Y/N, get the fuck out of the bathroom and leave!” Lily’s voice screamed from the hall, her fists banging loudly against the door.

“I just… I just need a minute!” Y/N called back, flattening out her hair again. You can do this. You’ve read the script. A lot. A lot a lot. You’ve got this. Or maybe you’re going to fall flat on your face.

“I swear to god, Y/N, if you miss your first day I will actually kill you.” Lily was banging with her foot now and Y/N groaned.

“Ok, ok, fine. I’m coming out.” Y/N steeled herself and turned on her heel, marching out of the room. “How do I look?”

Lily gave her a once over, her lips pursed.

“Hot as hell, but just professional enough.”

“Perfect, ok I should go shouldn’t I,” Y/N picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

“Please do.”

Y/N pulled Lily into a tight hug and moved quickly out of the room. Lily called ‘Good luck’ loudly as Y/N slammed the door shut, struggling to pull her keys out of her bag with the amount of crap she had put inside it.

The drive was thankfully quick, and she pulled up to the lot in 23 minutes and 30 seconds feeling increasingly nervous and slightly worried that she might puke.

“ID,” the security guard sounded incredibly bored.

“Yes, right of course! It’s my first day so…” Y/N trailed off as she noticed the security guard had turned back to her phone. “Uh, here it is.”

The guard looked at it, checking the database before waving her through, the boom gate opening slowly. Y/N thanked the guard and drove through to the parking lot.

“Ok, lot 34, 34…” Y/N mumbled as she checked her phone, “Where the fuck is this.”

There seemed to be no numbers on any building, people moving left and right and screaming aggressively for her to move out of the way.

“Sorry! Fuck I cannot be late,” Y/N swore under her breath, feeling her heart rate increasing at the thought of being late and the director just firing her on the spot for being a trash actress who can’t even find a bloody set on time. She re-opened the email sent to her with the maps and details about the set, zooming in on 34 and trying to match it up where she’d walked from the parking lot, and smoothly slammed into someone’s back.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” Y/N winced, leaning over to pick up her bag and the things that had fallen across the floor.

“It’s totally fine,” a deep voice replied, the person she’d bumped into turning and bending down to help her out. “Here’s your… vodka?”

Y/N stood up and met the person’s eyes, nearly choking on her own spit. In front of her was the stupidly gorgeous, incredibly famous Sirius Black. He looked even better in person, and, frustratingly, had a goofy smile playing on his face as he handed her the bottle of alcohol.

“Oh, uh, I just am not really sure if I might need some kind of bribe and now that I’m saying it it sounds really idiotic, thank you.” Y/N grimaced, wanting to crawl into a hole.

“First day on set, huh?” Sirius laughed, popping the bottle into her bag.

“How did you guess,” Y/N sighed, “I’m very lost, any chance you would know where lot 34 is?”

“I would actually, it’s where I’m going as well.”

“I… oh.” Y/N had forgotten to read the cast list. In all her planning and panicking and memorising every aspect of the script and characters that she could, she’d forgotten to read the fucking cast list.

“You must be Y/N then? Replacing Amanda?” Sirius began leading the way towards set, Y/N struggling to keep up with his long legs and attempting to avoid staring at his perfectly styled dark curls that hung just above his shoulders.

“Yes! I got the call a few days ago.”

“You look familiar, what else have you been in?” Sirius pulled open a door to his right, letting Y/N go in first.

“Oh I actually… um… haven’t – “

“Y/N, Sirius, please get into hair and makeup we needed you on set 10 minutes ago!” A girl with bright blonde hair and a wild expression pointed towards two caravans to the side of the room. Y/N apologised and moved quickly away, having never been more thankful to be interrupted. She pushed the door open to hair and make-up, looking around awkwardly.

“Hey there! Y/N?” A girl with short brown hair and bright pink spiky earrings grinned at her.

“Yep, that’s me.” Y/N followed her into the small room that was covered in boxes of different make up, paints and wigs hanging up against the walls. The entire front of the caravan was covered in mirrors, a chair in front of each one.

Y/N sat down in the chair the girl directed to, staring at herself awkwardly in the mirror.

“I’m Alice, I’ll be your hair and make-up gal for this season, hopefully the next one but here’s hoping it’s picked up,” Alice began to fiddle with Y/N’s hair, pulling it up and around her shoulders whilst she spoke. “So have you read through the whole script? It’s definitely the coolest thing I’ve worked on so far, and lets be real we’ve all dreamed of working with Sirius.”

Alice actually waggled her eyebrows, grinning at Y/N.

“Yeah it sounds like a cool story,” Y/N mumbled, her eyes watching Alice’s hands closely, wondering what she was going to do to her.

“So cool!” Alice pulled her hair up into a bun, pining up the loose strands and standing in front of the mirror to look at her face. “I’ve gotta ask, how did you react when you found out you were getting to kiss Sirius? I think I would have screamed the house down.”

Alice giggled, grabbing out a brush and primer, beginning to smear it across her face. Y/N resisted closing her eyes and smiling absent-mindedly as the feeling of the brush swishing across her face almost made her forget what Alice just said. Once she’d lifted the brush Y/N replied.

“Is Sirius… is Sirius playing Aramis?” Y/N felt her stomach twist, Alice, testing a couple of foundation types on Y/N’s wrist before dabbing it across her face.

“Yes! Didn’t you read the cast list?”

“Apparently I’m not that smart,” Y/N muttered, wanting to kill herself. She could have prepared for this, researched him, previous roles, kissing style, not panicking when he leans in. You fucking idiot.

“Don’t worry, the amount of people who haven’t read the script by the first day on set would surprise you,” Alice’s warm smile seemed to calm her slightly, likely alongside with the soft brush sweeping over her cheeks and eyes.

“Are there…” Y/N paused, unsure if she wanted to admit that she was sort of new to the whole filming thing, or if she would be accidentally humiliating herself.

“Hmm?” Alice gave her a look, holding the brush back, “You ok?”

“Yeah, just nervous.” Y/N gave her a small smile.

“Well either way, you look amazing,” Alice stepped away from the mirror and behind Y/N’s chair so she could see herself in the mirror. Y/N leaned in to look at herself, or herself 2.0. Alice had somehow highlighted angles in Y/N’s face that she didn’t even realise she had, her eyes highlighted by the subtle brown eyeshadow and liner.

“Holy shit, you are good.”

“You’d hope so,” Alice breathed out a laugh, letting out Y/N’s hair. “Now I’m sorry in advance because you’ve done your hair so nicely, but we are starting with the second scene today and you’re about to have your hair absolutely destroyed by some back combing.”

“I’ll forgive you,” Y/N laughed at her genuinely apologetic expression, grimacing when she held up the brush like a knife.

“Here we go.”

Alice gave her a hug when she left the caravan, wishing her luck like they had been friends for the last seventeen years and pointed her towards costumes. Four girls and two guys swarmed around her, holding up multiple tops and pants that looked exactly the same but with slight differences in the colour. Y/N wondered if they’d made them after the previous girl had cancelled, Y/N had given her a thorough stalk and immediately noticed the very big skin tone difference. They handed her a peasant blouse and linen pants, letting Y/N slip them on behind a curtain before circling her again once she’d changed, handing her a pair of lace up brown boots.

Y/N walked towards set, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly with each step. Someone knocked her lightly on the shoulder.

“Love the new look.” Sirius smiled at her, his hair looking somehow better.

“Yes, it’s called the ‘my hair is secretly a bees nest’” Y/N matched Sirius’ quite fast pace, drinking in his loud, dog-like laugh, his head shaking back.

“Alice is honestly an artist,” Sirius grinned at her, leading her towards the director and producer who were huddled together next to the set of large village facades, a gravel path along the front.

“She is, this isn’t my real face,” Y/N felt her heart flutter as she made Sirius laugh again.

“Y/N, Sirius! Glad you’re here, we are running short on time today because apparently we’ve been bloody double booked,” the director hissed at the producer who grimaced apologetically.

“I just want to see how you guys run through the second scene, doesn’t need to be anything fancy, just want to see you on the set and then we will start blocking properly. Sound good? Good.” She didn’t wait for them to answer, pointing them towards the gravel pathway.

“Great,” Sirius smiled fixing his collar and moving towards the set, Y/N followed close behind him. Y/N took a deep breath, sitting down on the path, trying to stop herself from fidgeting and calm herself. You know this, you can do this.

“And, action!”

It was a mixture of exhausting and exhilarating, and a couple of times where Y/N became slightly too mesmerised with Sirius’ impeccable acting skills. Once she’d been dismissed Y/N began to walk awkwardly back towards the caravan where the costuming team had moved her clothing, a large set of letters with her name on it across the front. It was probably the most exciting thing she’d seen all day.

As she reached it, she was pulled sideways by a small girl with a sharp brown bob and perfect cat-eye.

“Hi, Mary, PR, I just need to chat to you and Sirius for a quick sec ok?” Y/N was dragged towards Sirius who had been chatting animatedly to Alice, leaning against one of the set facades. “Sirius, a second?”

“Yep, see you tomorrow, Al,” Sirius winked at her and she waved him off.

“Ok, don’t have a lot of time, need to be at a marketing meeting in 10 minutes. So as you’re aware you two are love interests in the show and we are already getting some great hype given that the books have been getting steadily more popular. We want to lean into the pairing, a couple of staged outings, nothing confirmed just hints, ok? I’ll set up some time to run through the times we are going to get you two to be together, and what to post up on your socials.”

“Wait sorry are you talking about pretending to be together? Like… like a relationship?” Y/N interrupted her, stuttering awkwardly and berating herself internally.

“Yes, I’ll call you tomorrow with more details, just want to keep you in the loop.” Mary shook both their hands in quick succession and sped off towards the exit, heels clicking loudly against the concrete. Sirius and Y/N said nothing to each other for a few awkward moments.

“Well, I guess we will be seeing a lot more of each other,” Sirius broke the tension, his hand tucking into the front of his jeans.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Aha. Shit.

 Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana​ @avengersassemblee​ @maraudersandco​ @sly-vixen-up2nogood​ @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad​ @evyiione​ @minerva26love​ @aikeia​ @gollyderek​ @greatwombatblaze​  @songforhema​  @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom @hermionie-is-my-queen @demiwitch527

[prorevenge]

This kid at my school was stalking my friend. So me and the boys got his ass expelled.

Ok, so I have been waiting to post this for ever since school got out. But hold on tight, because this is a good one.

So, the time has come to pick student council president for next year, and there are two candidates. Let's call them Charlie and Franklin. Everyone at school loves Charlie. He is a great guy, really sociable, hard working, kind hearted, and is really fun and doesn't care about what anyone says.

Franklin, however, is this stuck up, religious kid who thinks he can do whatever he wants to women.

And me and my 3 other friends who I will call Zachary, Joe, and David, seemed to be the only ones who noticed or cared. We thought he was going to win, because this is Bible thumping North Carolina I'm talking about here. All the Christian kids loved him, and that made up 70% of school.

Let's start at about 2 weeks before the next student council president is chosen. I'm @ my job, when I finally get to take my break. I check my phone and see my friend, who we will call Kat, texted me. (Lots of names, sorry :/).

She texted me: "Hey you know Franklin? In our grade?"

I responded: "Yeah I can't stand his ass."

She then follows up with: "I think he's been stalking me."

I had been waiting for something like this. Not Kat getting stalked hell no, but finally some evidence to reveal how shitty Franklin is.

So I text my friends Joe, Zachary, and David and tell them: "I may have some serious dirt on Franklin. Let's meet @ the park sometime so we can take him down."

They all agree, and the very next day we were in the park in our neighborhood hatching out our plan. It came all so quick to us. It was amazing. It was like we were thinking the exact same things and then coming up with even better ways to make it all work.

Finally, we get the plan in work. We had Kat turn on your read receipt on her phone, so Franklin knew he was ignoring her texts. Also, a little background on how Kat got his number, is that they were partners for a project but he clearly wanted more.

Anyway, this would frustrate Franklin and cause him to show up @ Kat's house. Kat had cameras outside of her house too, so it was perfect. Kat would also screenshot their texts and send them to me. I would get onto my TV Productions teachers computer and email them the screenshots. David, who was in the same class as me, would distract the teacher as I did it. But I had to wait, I wanted to make sure Franklin's life was ruined.

Joe and Zachary's job was the most difficult. We were going to get Franklin to confess to groping, stalking, and attempting to rape/assault girl (s) who went to our school. But they weren't friends, so it was going to be hard.

So a week passes by, and Franklin shows up to Kat's house. He is fuming. I was at Kat's house that day because he texted Kat in all caps: "STOP IGNORING ME! WHAT DID I DO?! HUH?! I DIDN'T HURT YOU! I JUST WANT TO TALK" She told me to come over ASAP.

I was coming over no matter what, so thankfully I wasn't busy. I wanted to witness Franklin's meltdown. He bangs on Kat's door, and Kat answers and says "Can you fuck off? Take a hint you fucking creep?!"

As she's closing the door, Franklin violently grabs her arm and says "I love you, Kat," and then proceeded to try and GRAB HER ASS AND KISS HER! Kat then slammed the door and begun to cry.

I was fucking shocked. This fiend knew no bounds. I hugged Kat immediately after. I was definitely going for the kill now.

I told Joe and Zachary the next day at school to scrap their plan. I had gotten the footage from Kat's cameras, and told them to give it to our Deputy (who is awesome, and we knew he'd keep us anonymous) and then pass it on to our Principal. Once again, we had to wait to strike because we wanted to make sure his little 15 seconds of Fame turned into 15 eternities of suffering.

Flash forward about 5-6 days later and the day has come. So 1st period I show up to my TV Productions and I see David. He is so ready. The plan was he was going to talk to my teacher outside about a specific shot he wanted, but needed help with and wanted him to demonstrate.

The teacher obliged, and my time came. I plugged in the flashdrive all Mr. Robot style and download the slideshow of screenshots. Oh, and they were all extremely zoomed in, so no one could miss it. I send it to all the teachers and adminstration and had it titled as "Here's this week's episode of ..." Most teachers ignore it until the end of class, I knew my next teacher would, so I wasn't stressing. Teacher comes back and doesn't suspect a thing. No one snitches on me or anything. It was too perfect. The bell rings, and Joe screams for me and David. We rush over.

"I got the tape to Prescott. Did you email the screenshots?" Joe asked.

I didn't even have to say anything. I just gave him a look and he knew.

So I sat down in my second period, preparing for the mayhem to come. My teacher begins to play the candidates video. They start off by showing the candidates and the candidates saying why you should vote for them. We go through Historian, Treasurer, VP, and another two (I can't remember what they were) before we get to president. Charlie goes first, and this class I was in wasn't full of the stuck up Christian kids, so they loved Charlie. Frank goes and it's dead silent. No one cares. But I knew a lot would, and this class room was a minority.

The final 10-15 minutes 2nd period arrive, and my teacher per usual goes "Who wants to watch this weeks ..."

Everyone says yes, as we all knew it would help pass the time. But I knew something everyone else didn't. Felt kinda good tbh, like I was Robin Hood.

The slides roll, and the whole class gasps at the messages. The kid next to me I hear go under his breath "Holy shit Franklin is so fucked." Then, the teacher looked around like she had no clue what the fuck to do. She was flabbergasted. 5 teenagers successfully bamboozled an entire school run by adults.

Franklin left school early that day. Later that day deputy pulled me into his office, and thanked me for what I did. He said it took real courage to do what I did. I wanted to cry tbh. I told him to just please keep it anonymous. I don't want any drama, I don't want to be seen as hero or a villain, I just want to go into my senior year with no worries. He happily obliged, and gave me a big ass bear hug.

Now, while this event only happened about a month and half a go, Franklin got royally fucked. The school kicked him out, Kat's family eventually found out and went to court, only to be payed and undisclosed settlement before anything could get kicked off. Finally, Franklin will be homeschooled his senior year.

Charlie won President and I was so happy. Turns out he actually had Franklin beat even if nothing had happened to him. Oops.

Joe, David, and Zachary are doing well. Couldn't have completed the task at hand with out them.

And finally, me and Kat are dating and are seeing You Story 4 tommorow. So go fuck yourself Franklin.

So, yes, I got the last laugh. I hope Franklin can turn it around. I want the world to be full of more kind people then evil people. I hope he changes. But for now, he can go fuck himself. But always remember fellas, be an upstander, not a bystander. I wonder if anyone else actually knew, but didn't speak up. But I did, and I was not going to let Franklin slither away.

(source) story by (/u/toolfan3)

[the-sheep]

ID GO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS IF U TYPED OUT HIS ENTIRE HISTORY FBFBFBFB i would like 2 see it..........

alright right right

This ended up being A HUGE POST so all info is under the cut.

Unless you’re on mobile, in which case, enjoy scrolling.

It all starts on flight rising. Well, Heart starts on FR. It REALLY starts with my webcomic/animated series.

It wasn’t well drawn or animated at first, but it steadily got better. One of the plot holes, back in 8th grade, was “who created priscilla and Jake?”

It was mostly summed up to “Penny made all the bots its all simple” but i was a middle schooler and i needed a complicated (and edgy) story. 

Thing is I had already made Fandragons of a good chunk of my ocs on flight rising.

I bred two dragons to get my main characters, so why not just use them?

Christy Suggested the name Cavet, and I liked it.

Yeah this is my first digital image of him as a human and he DOES NOT LOOK RIGHT

no necklace, no beard, orange eyes…

horrific.

So I made human designs for them both, but Chrysanthemum remains forgotten, not even canon to Mechanical Fury anymore.

Here’s old art of her and Cavet back before she got wiped out from existence.

the art is bad btu the Heart gimmick is there

Here’s him in his second image ever. The one that pretty much defined his design.He also quickly gained a husband

Anyway he quickly morphed into a villain several time more dangerous than the main villain

He’s responsible for the deaths of not ONE, not TWO, but THREE children.

Two his kids, one the younger sister of a character that one of the dead kids liked.

One of his dead kids got his own story, the other was literally a main character.

Chloride, (Charlie) in all his glory, lucky enough to get resurrected as an android but after finding out he’s not who he thinks he is, has to attempt to live a normal Human life… when his two best friends are paranormal investigators, his love interest having lost their arm and their only remaining sister to the main villain.

He originally found out he was an android by finding his own blueprints, hearing his Mom cry about it, and then cutting open his face (for his signature scar) and running off. 

Running into Cavet’s husband, Nathair Liu. He stitches him up, know all about robotic n all that but he is.

also a secondary villain….

I hate the art in this video but its not my worst.

(Video was Vendy’s debut, too. tho Vendy was more Nate(logan/mind/princi/whatever)’s kid than Cavet’s)

Okay i’ve gotten off track.

Yeah at this point I was really loving Cavet, on FR, and wrote an entire long story between him and Skittles based on the events of Mechanical Fury.

This was where I got the idea for reincarnation.

I needed an explanation for why the same character was in two different universes, and it was perfect. In fact, it lead to an amazing way to end it. 

But what is in control of all this? What does he see in the in between?

Well, Death was packaged with two other red herrings to keep people from thinking she was more important than them from the start, when in fact, she was. One of the plot points is that Cavet dies. He continues causing havoc, but nobody can figure out why or how. he doesn’t have a body.

Except he does. Death.

She was scary, but that was just her, she was a literal robot grim reaper. Nobody suspected she was spreading a virus to make robots susceptible to Augap’s control everywhere she went. Not even her. Cav liked hanging out in the AI scape, AKA the robot afterlife or virtual heaven.

What a fun way to make a real grim reaper.

I never really kept track of the transition from “cute robot char” to “cute real god char”

and i guess it never happened. Heart still thinks of her as she was, as cute little Litty. Except when she’s not. He gave form to the literal concept of DEATH. And became her friend. She still calls him Papa, sometimes.

In any case, Cavet’s doodles started being more and more revolving around his angst with the reincarnation.

in fact, i had a few character in the same boat as him, as I had made a couple dragons into MF characters as well.

I called them The Artifacts. It didn’t seem rounded out with only four, so I added a 5th. To give me more leeway in case I make a character i like enough to bring with them.

and turns out. I did.

I was sad enough about Cavet losing the love of his life, betraying him, creating a rift between them with his descent into obsession.

So he came with them.

They’re inseparable.

after a few lives of getting revenge on him for killing his sons and some adult humans and a BUNCH of robots, (not even counting his crimes in the vampire life he committed because he thought he lost Liu forever) Soul revealed to him something about Heart’s 6th life, which Mind doesn’t remember.

But he was there.

Long story short, he was Captain Shuggazoom. Yeah 10 lives of stuff he forgot before he started remembering his past lives. Messed Heart up.

ANYWAY BACK TO DEVELOPMENT!

I went around, making original characters to fill in Heart’s lives. I put him in a LOT of stories, but a notable one is My Old Ask Blog, @ask-musical-monsters

In which Heart is our lovable Tweedle, Bean.

He’s the bird. (this is also the blog where Willow was made!) (also a character i referenced when putting antauri on the baldi blog)

I still hadn’t abandoned MF so Bean has a lot of influence from Cavet. 

I REALLY liked bean. It occured to me here-ish that Heart isn’t constrained by being my oc. He can be whoever he wants and nobody will care. 

So of course I immediately declare him purple guy. No drawings of him, but I know I said he was purple guy at some point. Also at this point in time I started organizing the lives by number order, and making a simple arc for Heart and the others to follow.

1000 lives. 

I made a brief description of heart’s 1st life, but made it purposefully very superfluous so i can change it whenever i want. All i know is he had albinism, and a desire to live forever.

That summer I got an amazing idea. I would take advantage of the Baldi’s basics trend with a ASK BLOG.

It was a mathematically calculated success. I did as many things as possible to generate more audience. MAIN thing being posting as often as possible, and being REALLY funny. 

But knew I wasn’t going to like adding to the ask blog if i didn’t like the main character

I already knew he was going to be Baldi, but I wasn’t sure exactly how to characterize him either. 

Turns out making him heart solved both of those problems. He’s always been Heart.

And Princi has ALWAYS been mind.

Even if they don’t always show their artifacts, they always were the same people as all these other things ive made. They have a DEEP connection to both each other and me.

At some point, I re-re-discovered SRMTHFG. The first few seconds I saw SK I knew he was Heart. It was so perfect it scared me.

HE EVEN DOES THE POSE!!!!! RED EYES!!!! AAAH!!!

I got an idea for a storyline based on formless and regret and monkeys… so.. uh

Anyway that kinda brings us to today, where the events of the blog have happened based on Heart things, and i can play around with Heart as much as I want.

And Willie’s next life? Well, 23 is my favorite number. It’ll be cool, but I’m not sure how. All I know is 23 wears a striped shirt, and is a vamp again.

In summary, Heart is the most important character I’ve ever made, and I will never come close to anybody as wonderful and as complicated as him. He’s the greatest formless, the best villains, the heroes, and one character i want to hold out for finding irl.

 I love them even in scribbles i find on bus seats, in fanart of him, love her in songs i hear, in flowers i see in the wild.

Whoever they end up being, it’s safe to say I’ve fallen in love with Heart. 

If you want me to describe his in universe story, I’ll need a seperate post.

Other Heart Resources:

The Spreadsheet

The Playlist

[presidentrhodes]

iron husbands?

yaaaaaas thank u ❤️❤️❤️

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter

tony is the hunter; he comes from a long family of hunters who hunted werewolves in europe and then crossed the pond to come to the us. rhodey is heir/alpha to one of the royal bloodlines and centuries of survival instincts carved into his very dna has taught him to keep a low profile. rhodey's kept an eye on tony since college because their respective bloodlines have a long, bloody history. when wolves start turning up dead, rhodey assumes tony must be responsible, so he shows up in new york, ready to put tony's entrails on display in time square as a statement to the humans. except, to his surprise, he finds out tony has not only left his family's bloody history behind in the past, he's become a vocal activist campaigning for the rights of magical creatures in the country, including the werewolves. cue, rhodey and tony team up to find out who's killing the wolves and take them down; in the process, they obviously fall in love.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman

tony is the mermaid; he's been cast out of his family because of a mistake that got many merpeople and other marine creatures killed. he's been struggling to survive in the vast depths of the ocean, depressed, lonely and almost going out of his mind. one day, he sees a fishing boat capsize; while the land breathers are obviously an enemy, he ignores his basic survival instincts to help the fisherman struggling to stay afloat in the rough waters. tony brings the fisherman to a nearby island, with lots of greenery in the middle and no humans on it, and tends to his wounds (a broken arm, cuts and bruises etc). when the fisherman comes to, tony learns his name is rhodey and that, like him, he had also been cast out of his family and has nowhere else to go; that's why rhodey had set off for the ocean, hoping the waters would take him somewhere new. tony proposes that given their similar situation, they can begin their life anew on the island. and rhodey agrees.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar

tony's the witch, rhodey is the familiar. tony spent the first 20 years of his life thinking he didn't have magic, even though everyone in his family is a witch or a warlock. rhodey's an animagus; his animal form is a grey wolf, and he had been with tony since he was a puppy and tony an infant. one day, tony is being chased by a wendigo and rhodey leaps in front of it to save tony's life, getting seriously wounded in the process. tony panics because rhodey's literally bleeding out in his arms and he summons every last bit of strength and wills rhodey's wounds to close shut. they do; and suddenly tony feels the magic surge through his veins, beat against his pulse and thrum in his ears. rhodey's wounds heal completely within minutes and tony, with his newfound powers, drags his best friend and familiar to the nearest bar for a celebratory drink because "fuck you, howard, i'm a witch."

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict

tony is the barista. he runs a small coffee shop that fits barely 10 people indoors and business has been bad ever since a fancier café opened across the road. tony knows he's going to probably have to close down soon and move out of the city because he can no longer afford rent. one night, right before he's about to close for the day, a tired businessman comes stumbling in and offers a $100 bill for a cup of coffee. tony notices how distressed and tired the man looks, so he lets him in and makes him a strong cup of coffee and warms up some meat pie, which the latter accepts gratefully. he finds out that rhodey's under a lot of stress because the board of directors at his company is trying to oust him from power. tony lends rhodey a listening ear that he desperately needs and they stay there in the café until 3am. from next day onwards, rhodey becomes a regular patron at the café, but business still dwindles until one day, tony puts up a notice outside informing customers that he will close down by the end of the week. rhodey doesn't show up for the next several days and tony assumes he probably gets his coffee from the other café now; until, on friday, as tony's about to close his outlet for the final time, rhodey shows up and hands him a stack of papers: it's the purchase deed for the space across the road. turns out, rhodey made the other café owner an offer they couldn't turn down. rhodey tells tony that he quit his job as ceo of his company and asks tony if he wants to be business partners. within a month, they're running the café from across the road and business has never been better; tony still works as barista from time to time even though they now have 10 full-time staff and rhodey's already talking about plans to create more franchises across the country. at some point, they evolve from being just business partners to...well, partners.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA

tony's the TA/PhD candidate and rhodey's the professor. they are both astrophysicists by training and they study pulsars for research. needless to say, their academic opinions differ plenty and whenever tony isn't marking problem sets and rhodey isn't lecturing young, impressionable minds, they're arguing about pulsars and what they can tell the world about matter and the existence of other exo-planets over a night cap. tony is envied by the other doctoral candidates in his year because he gets to spend so much time in professor rhodes' proximity (hello??? hot, youngish professor who's super accomplished, super smart, has some graying hair, wears tight polos and black-rimmed glasses? fucking hell...) in this instance tony's like 29, rhodey's about 34.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss)

rhodey's the knight and tony's the prince. here's the backstory: tony's mum was king howard's first wife. when howard remarried, he had another son, prince arno. per the kingdom's rules on succession, you can only ascend the throne if you're of pure royal blood. tony's mum was a commoner, so she was never afforded the royal title of queen, whereas howard's second wife was a princess from a neighbouring kingdom. that said, king howard wants tony to inherit the throne, something that many of his close advisors as well as arno and his mother refuse to accept. they see tony as an impediment and when howard falls ill, numerous attempts are made on tony's life. tony is obviously very booksmart and he excels at strategy, which is why howard wants him to be king. when howard senses a possible civil war could be brewing in the kingdom, between supporters who want tony to be king and those who'd prefer arno, he calls aside a young knight, sir james, and makes him swear on his life to protect tony. (howard knew tony and rhodey had been childhood friends, which is why he approached him in the first place) when shit hits the proverbial ceiling, rhodey protects tony from all manners of assassination attempts until arno and his mother are finally thwarted and kicked out of the kingdom. tony becomes king and rhodey becomes his most trusted advisor, friend, confidante, and general. basically, tony hands the keys of the kingdom to rhodey and relies on him and his decisions to run it.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent

tony teaches kindergarten and loves his young charges very much. one day, they're joined by a shy, quiet new student, lila, and her overly anxious uncle, james. tony tries to reassure rhodey that lila, who had just lost her parents, would be fine and that he'd make sure she isn't being bullied or harassed for being the new kid. as the term progresses, lila slowly comes out of her shell; she makes friends, she loves recess, she loves colouring, and she is good with numbers. every week tony calls his kids' parents to update them on their children; his conversations with rhodey, however, last twice as long and become twice as frequent, until one day rhodey invites tony to lila's birthday party. tony isn't sure how to read into this: the other parents have never really invited him to their kids' birthdays and yet he doesn't want to turn down the invitation from the rhodes' (mostly because he doesn't want to upset young lila). though nothing happens at the birthday party, rhodey keeps asking him out. it starts under the pretext of wanting to know how lila is doing and morphs into them just spending time together until tony impulsively kisses rhodey on the day of lila's graduation to k2. with lila no longer his student, tony asks rhodey out on a proper date and soon he's spending his weekends at the rhodes' place until about a year later, he moves in with rhodey and lila.

who’s the writer and who’s the editor

rhodey is the editor for the opinions section in one of the top newspapers; he has a pretty fierce reputation of being a hardass editor who would chew and spit out anyone making rookie mistakes in the entire newsroom. new writers and reporters basically cower in fear; tony's an established hotshot columnist who's been headhunted from a rival paper to write a weekly political column. he is pretty well-known among politicos and is well read by a loyal audience, both offline and online. tony is basically used to getting his way until he submits his first copy for edit and rhodey returns it, each page crossed out in red, and with a remark on the final page that read: our company motto may be all news fit to print, but i am not letting this garbage print. tony is furious. how dare someone call his columns garbage when the news organisation is literally paying him a six-figure salary to write them. he marches up to rhodey's office and barges in, ready to fight. but he stops on track and blushes when he realises this asshole editor is the same handsome college senior that tony had a short, deeply physical relationship with almost 20 years ago. the argument just melts away from him and even rhodey can't find it in him to be as curt and critical as he is to the other writers because damn...the encounter brings up a lot of memories and regrets they have both had since leaving college and then losing touch.

send me a ship!

[damienthepious]

>:3c hey i got two this week. happy LKT babes!!

Scattered On My Shore (Chapter 3)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [ao3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [Ch 18] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery,  Hurt/Comfort,  (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol)

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: Sir Damien and Rilla discuss the issue at hand.

Chapter Notes: did u want: canon typical Damien spiraling? <3

~~

Arum is stable, the offending injury has been cleaned again and sealed and dressed and hopefully, hopefully, this time it will actually start to heal. Rilla’s mind buzzes, exhaustion and adrenaline and the satisfaction of a problem solved. That little shard of black talon (definitely talon, now that she’s seen it up close; add the satisfaction of a called shot, too) is safely and carefully stashed away in a clean sealed vial for later analysis, where it can’t do any more harm. And Arum-

The sedative probably won’t wear off for hours. Probably for the best, considering how exhausted he was before he went under. It’s probably just her imagination, just wishful thinking, but he looks… calmer. Like his sleep is more restful, now, than it had been. Imagination or no, she takes some satisfaction in that, too.

Rilla washes her hands, splashes her face, and when she meets her own eye in the little mirror above her washbasin she sees the bags under her eyes and the hair clouding around her face and the manic tilt to her expression and she- laughs.

Damien. Oh, Damien-

What the hell is she going to do about him?

She could be irritated with him just for coming into her exam room, whether or not the door was locked, but- well, it’s not like he wouldn’t have some rule breaking to throw back in her face. She sighs, dragging her palm over her mouth and noting the visible exhaustion that’s making her shoulders sag.

Well. No point putting it off, right?

She checks on Arum one more time, resettling the blankets more securely around his shoulders, ensuring that he’s warm enough, leaving a cup of water beside the bed in case he wakes before she does (whatever happens with Damien, however she gets him out of her hair, she’s going to get some sleep after this, she needs to).

Dead asleep, still, but- he mutters something, some whispery wordlessness as the back of her hand presses to his forehead to make sure his temperature is still consistent, and the breathy murmur and the way his resting expression goes even softer makes Rilla gently smile before she can help herself, and her brain is still buzzing as she thinks, rest well, you ridiculous monster, and heal.

She steps away from the cot, and she sighs, then. This next part is going to be unpleasant.

Damien is pacing in a straight line when she exits the exam room, turning on his heel to keep going in the same stuck path before he registers that she’s joining him, and then his eyes widen.

“Oh my heart, you are safe! Oh, my dearest Rilla, I was terrified that you had been- I felt only moments from bolting in to ensure that you had not been-”

“Damien. I wasn’t in danger,” she says, keeping her voice low and gesturing for Damien to follow her as she steps away from the door to the exam room, away from the possibility of waking Arum accidentally. Her hut isn’t that big, and it’s not like they could have this conversation outside, but they can at least stand in the kitchen, a little ways away where they won’t literally be shouting (she assumes they’ll end up shouting, frankly) so damn close to Arum.

“I know you are terribly brave, my love,” Damien says as he stumbles behind. “But surely even you must understand- I do not know what sort of- of experiment you are intending to run, but I must advise-”

“He’s not an experiment,” Rilla growls, bristling because she already, already regrets the brief window during which she… did kind of think of him that way. He deserves better than that.

“Regardless, regardless of the why, it cannot continue, surely you must understand that. The danger- the danger the creature presents, to yourself, to any other patients you may have, to the Citadel itself! Rilla surely you can see that it must be destroyed-”

“You’re not touching him, Damien. He’s my patient-”

“It is a monster-”

“Yeah, I gathered that Damien, thanks, but you still aren’t touching him. He’s my patient, and he’s one of a kind, and he’s not gonna hurt me. If he wanted to, he definitely already would have tried something. He’s still weak as hell but he’s stubborn and he would have tried, if he really wanted.”

“Of course the monster wants to hurt you, my precious flower. That is simply what monsters do.”

Rilla scowls hard, turning away from him to pull the curtains aside, realizing with no small degree of wonder that it’s dark outside again. Already. Already? Before she woke Arum to discuss pulling the talon out, she’s sure it couldn’t have been much past sunrise. Saints she needs to sleep. But before she can-

“Damien, I’m gonna put this as simply as I can. He is my patient. That means that it’s my job to take care of him, and to make sure he’s safe and that his injuries are treated. I’m finally at a point where I’m making progress, and-”

“Finally,” Damien echoes, his brow furrowing as his thoughts churn. “Finally? How long have you- how long has this been going on, precisely?”

“Few days,” Rilla says, noncommittal. She- she isn’t quite sure, anymore. She’s been keeping hourly notes, coded longhand, but she’d put it on pause for the surgery, and-

“So,” he says, sounding pained, “when I came to you last, and asked-”

“I lied,” she says flatly. “I lied, because I knew you would respond like this.”

“I am attempting to do my duty, my love. I must protect you and every citizen of the Citadel, must cleanse the monsters' blight upon this land-”

“Not this monster,” Rilla says. “Not him. He doesn’t need cleansing.” She grins, a little wildly. “I already disinfected him pretty thoroughly.”

“You cannot jest about this, Rilla. Surely, surely you know I cannot allow this, it is-”

“Treason?”

Damien blanches, his face going vaguely ashen, and his voice is near-mournful when he answers. “Rilla, my heart, my forever-flower you know that I would never accuse you of something so vile-”

“Even if it’s technically true?”

Damien’s entire expression freezes, as if she has stabbed him. “You can’t mean that. You wouldn’t-”

“He was hurt, Damien,” Rilla says. “And I’m a doctor. I’m just doing my job, as far as I’m concerned. But I very much doubt that the Citadel will see it that way.”

“He is a monster, my love- he could- he could do anything to you, he could kill you or steal you away or-”

Rilla rolls her eyes. “Or lie in bed complaining about the fact that he’s too weak to even stand. Oh no. Whatever will I do to defend myself against the constant annoyance of monsterkind.”

“Rilla you have seen as well as I have the cruelties done by its ilk, the violence and pain! Any benevolence must be a trick, it must be, meant to lull you into a false sense of safety around such a dangerous beast! A devious machination, meant to make you lower your guard for the moment he will strike and then what, my dearest love? What will happen, when you, with your gentle miraculous healing hands, deliver the beast back to strength enough that he may enact his plan? Oh Saint Damien protect us, what will happen when he has been healed enough to harm again? What then, my Rilla?”

“He’s not gonna hurt me,” Rilla says, entirely dismissive. “He won’t. He-” she interrupts herself with a deep yawn, jaw going wide as tears pop into her eyes. “Oh, Saints. I thought I could have this argument right now but I absolutely can’t, Damien. Can you please just trust me, at least enough not to do anything tonight? Go back to the Citadel and we can talk about this in the morning. Right now, I’ve barely slept since I found him, and now that I think I’ve finally dealt with the worst of it and got him stable- I could really use a frickin’ nap.”

“No,” Damien says, slashing his hand through the air. “No, I refuse to leave you helpless and unprotected while that- that creature-”

“My patient.”

“Awaits a moment of weakness! Awaits a moment of vulnerability, wherein he may creep close and destroy you, or curse you, or- or any number of terrible intentions that could come to pass the very instant your mind is settled into well-deserved rest, my love. I cannot stand idly by while-”

“Oh for Saints’ sake, Damien, he’s sedated. He’s not going to slit my throat in my sleep. I promise.”

“It could all be a trick, Rilla. Even with your brilliant mind- the machinations of monsterkind are often more clever than one would expect, and what if this is all some scheme? You are a genius, my Rilla, the greatest doctor in all of the Citadel, and certainly the monsters at large are aware of your prowess, are aware of how many precious lives you have personally gentled back to the realm of the living after countless heinous beasts have expended their most vicious effort to send them to their grave! A doctor of your skill and status- surely monsterkind must be desperate to remove your ferocious protective presence from thwarting their attempts-”

“Damien. First, please try to keep your volume down. I know this is- stressful for you, but the hut is small and the yelling is- not helpful. Second- it’s really flattering that you think they’d pay that much attention to me but I really think you’re overreacting.” She takes a moment to breathe, then sighs quite deeply. “Look, if you’re so worried about it, you can stay here for the night.” She smiles gently, reaching a hand to cup his cheek. “I’m sure you already had a long day before coming over here. Come to bed with me? If it’ll make you feel better, if it’ll make you feel like I’m safer, you know that I love sleeping with your arms around me-”

“I cannot lie idle and sleeping while such a beast rests but one room over, Rilla! I cannot sleep at all while it remains a threat-”

Rilla sighs and drops her hand. “Fine, Damien, fine. If you don’t want to rest with me, then you don’t have to, but I am going to bed and you are not touching my patient. Understand me?” She glares, and the force of her ire could knock Damien to the floor. His mouth goes dry, his words freezing. “If you undo any of my hard work I will not forgive you for that. Do you understand me? I will not forgive you,” she says in a low voice, and Damien swallows. “I don’t care if you wanna sit and guard the door, that’s annoying but it won’t hurt anything, but don’t you dare interrupt his rest.” She pauses. “Or mine, for that matter. Now if you’ll excuse me, Sir Damien?”

She gives him a tight, angry sort of smile, then excuses herself towards her bedroom, her shoulders already sagging again with the weight of her exhaustion, and Damien’s heart aches for her, aches for her to be safe and rested and in his arms-

But he must do his duty, first. He must protect her.

Damien paces outside the door to the room the monster currently occupies, his mind roiling and racing and terrified, and he whispers low for guidance. Rilla’s hut is not particularly large, and he has learned his lesson many times that if he prays as he naturally wishes to, he will keep his beloved from sleep rather effectively, and he does not wish to anger her any further just now. So: whispers. Saint Damien will hear him just as well, anyway. It is only for the throbbing in his own heart that his volume yearns to rise.

A monster. A monster, and his beloved Rilla so determined to see it healthy again. One of a kind- and certainly that is even more of a danger than if this were some ordinary ogre, is it not? What tricks might this beast possess? He could have any magic, and skill, any trick up his sleeve-

“What if it is is not sleeping?” He whispers, eyes sharp on the door as he paces, compulsively drawing his bow, the curve of it feeling like safety in his hand. “What if it is already scheming, already creeping towards my Rilla’s room?” His volume is rising, he can barely control it, he tries, but the words are a deluge he caught up in, helpless, helpless. “What if it is already crawling close to her bedside while she breathes light and lovely into her pillow and then it smiles a demon’s smile in the dark and it laughs at her precious kindness and then at last it raises a savage claw-”

Damien chokes a breath, pressing a hand hard over his heart and another over his mouth. No. No, he is between the beast and his beloved. He would have seen- he would know. That- that is merely his fear taking him by the throat. He must stand tranquil against it.

“Saint Damien- oh Saint Damien please,” he murmurs low, wringing his hands and trying, oh trying to slow his breathing. “Please your tranquility my Saint, I must be tranquil if I am to keep her safe, as she deserves to be-”

Rilla forbade him from harming her “patient.” Forbade him from disturbing its rest, as absurd as that is (what foul dreams fill a monster’s mind in repose? What passes for peace in such a violent, chaotic creature?). But-

She did not forbid him from entering the room. Did she?

He considers that. He looks to Rilla’s bedroom door, closed tight against him.

No- not closed tight. If he abandons his charge to protect her and goes to lay by her side, he is certain that she will gather him up in her arms and her bed and soon he will be blessed to hold her soft and lightly snoring in his arms. She is angry with him, in some misguided way, but she did not lock the door. She would not lock him out.

She did not lock him out of the room where the monster coils, either, though.

He ponders, for a few moments longer, before the thought springs unbidden again- the monster, slipping off of Rilla’s examination cot, slithering across the floor, up the walls, over the ceiling-

What powers it may have, Damien does not know. Camouflage? The ability to creep, silent? He does know of the viciously sharp claws this creature possesses, the jagged teeth that showed in his slackly open mouth-

What if it is attempting to escape?

Out the window, yes, and then- anywhere. It could slither off to find cohorts, other beasts with which to return, to raze Rilla’s cozy, humble home to the ground. It could slink around the side of the hut, could find another window- Rilla’s window, could insinuate itself back inside and-

Another deep, shaking breath.

No. Even if the creature is silent, Damien will hear the pane of glass shatter, if the creature escapes.

He cannot simply-

Damien cannot-

Every moment it is unoccupied, his mind will spin. It will tumble down into the darkness of catastrophe, will show him newer and darker possibilities, and so long as he does not know, not for certain, what the monster is doing in there, Damien will be trapped by these feelings, these foul potentialities.

He must enter. He must have his eyes on this beast. It cannot possibly harm Rilla nor anyone else, if he has it safely under his scrutiny.

And Rilla did not forbid him from entering.

He has one hand on the knob of the door, one on his bow, and he creaks the wood open. His entire frame tenses for the strike, whether that strike be his own or the leaping of the monster, but no such strike occurs. It is dim, in the room. Dim, and still, and quiet.

It is mostly quiet, anyway. After a pause, the door ajar but not yet passed through, Damien recognizes the slow, soft noise of breath, coming from inside. He frowns, but he supposes that it is better, is it not, to know that the beast is still where he can keep an eye upon it. If he had opened this door and it was still as death, and there were no noises of life whatsoever- certainly that would have been a more frightening outcome.

Damien takes a step, and then another, and he leaves his hand on the knob as he suspiciously enters this shadowed place.

Still, no attack comes. The light pouring in through the doorframe illuminates enough that Damien can see the shape on the cot, a long figure curled slightly on its side, covers shifting slowly above its chest.

The monster breathes.

It is repellent. This creature, this vile thing soft-sleeping here in a room meant for human healing, for care, for the comfort of his lovely Rilla’s talents and compassion, it is abhorrent. And Damien knows that Rilla is compassionate, oh certainly she is, but this- this? Certainly, certainly, love, there must be some limits, mustn’t there?

The monster breathes and sleeps and does not move, and Damien is even more nervous, even more furious than he was before.

He paces, but the sound of his shoes clicking on the floor sets his teeth on edge. What- what if his noise wakes the creature? If it attacks him, certainly it would be justifiable, to retaliate. Of course it would. But-

Rilla warned him not to disturb the creature’s rest.

So, until she wakes again, at least, he will not.

There is a stool, close beside the bed. When he had entered earlier, Rilla had been perched just in front of it with her hands on the beast, as if she had been seated at some point, and slowly edged forward in tension and focus until she had hovered entirely away.

If Damien wishes to sit, he is going to need to come close enough to the beast to take the seat for himself.

He takes each step across the floor as if it could be rigged with traps, as if more monsters might leap from any given shadow. This… proves unjustified. Yet again Damien is unmolested by monstrous intent, and when he comes close by the bed he stares down at the creature.

Evil. Evil made manifest. Long limbs hidden beneath layers of cloth, sharp claws obscured, the angularity of that body made slack and strange by sleep, that reptilian face-

The monster’s mouth hangs just slightly open, the tips of sharp fangs barely, barely visible behind his thin lips, the ridged line of his brow softened, the low light gleaming on his colorful, mottled scales-

Damien’s jaw tightens. He picks up the stool and moves it away from the bed, moves it to the corner nearest the door, and he perches up upon it facing the bed with a hand on his bow and a scowl set on his face.

The monster does not wake for this, either.

He scowls for quite some time, until his cheeks are a little bit sore. Then he settles into a glare, his determination too strong to be unsettled by boredom. This is only a trick, regardless of the way this creature looks- fragile, curled there on Rilla’s examination cot. More of his scales are bandaged than not, from what Damien saw earlier, when Rilla was working upon him, and the frill at his neck is nearly in tatters, one of his elegantly curved horns cracked (Damien wonders if that is the sort of thing that heals- not that this creature will have time to find that out, of course), and even despite the undeserved serenity of sleep this monster looks exhausted.

A trick. All of it a trick, of course.

… but a very, very convincing one.

[->]