#this was a way longer rant than I anticipated

[luvwestwood]

"Build a Bear" - Nanami Kento

3,077 words.

note: just re-posting this as i'm no longer shadow-banned, enjoy kento slutting you out in the victoria secret changing rooms lol

content warnings: nsfw (18+), sex, breeding, dom! nanami, pet names (princess/slut, doll etc), changing room sex, hair pulling, you walk around the mall with his cum stuffed into you lol, quickies, standing sex, semi-public sex? kento sluts you out in the vs changing rooms lol

banner cred. @/yunonoai on twt/ig

Nanami was your boyfriend of almost one year, and you must say, things were going pretty well. He was a gentleman, who was able to prove 24/7 that chivalry isn't dead at all. Kento was all you could ever ask for, and usually you'd spend your days with him wondering how did you end up with a man like the Kento Nanami?

Kento loved to spoil you rotten. He was more of a giver than a receiver. Acknowledging the fact that he’s financially stable, earns way more than what he needs, of course— the rest will go to you, his beloved girlfriend. It was almost like.. he found pleasure in doing it. He always anticipated the big cheesy smile on your face when he comes home with bags full of everything. He's always eager to whip out his sleek black credit card at any given moment as if it was toy money.

Hair curler not working anymore? You’d be getting a new one the next day. Your car broke down? Look out into the driveway the next morning. He ripped your panties the night before? You’ll wake up to four bags full of bespoke lingerie, all specially made for you.

Today was Thursday, which meant either two things. One, it could just be a normal Tuesday. Two, it was Nanami’s payday. And so you know what that means…

“Anywhere else you'd like to go?" Kento followed behind you, all of your shopping bags from earlier in his grasp. Both hands full. Don't forget, he was a respectful guy. He'd never let you carry anything, even if you wanted to. "We have all the time in the world."

You let out a hum, thinking. "Hmm.." You continued, "Maybe Victoria's Secret? I heard theres a 4 for 15€ sale happening on the undies!" The two of you step onto the escalator, Nanami behind you. "And that will be it. I don't want to spend anymore."

"Doll, you already know what I'm gonna say to that." He lets out a labored sigh, looking up at you as you look down at him. You turn around and frowned.

"...I know, but.." You pause your words as Kento abruptly cuts you off. It was as if he was doing this so you speak no further about this matter which you bring up every now and then. Okay.. maybe every time Kento brings you on a shopping splurge.

"Hey- eyes forward, we're getting off the escalator." He quickly moves all shopping bags to one hand, using the free one to guide you off the escalator by gently pressing on your back. It was good timing, cause it allowed you to shut your mouth before you go on your daily rant about how he spends too much money on you, and that you would like to be independent for once.

"Okay, but.." You turn to him as soon as you enter the store; the sweet smell of the body mists and dark, sultry ambience of the place enticing you. "You never let me give you anything in return. I want to do something for you for once." You say this in a stern whisper, as it was more of a small but silly couple's quarrel, and you didn't want other customers to get the wrong idea between you and Nanami.

You hold eye contact with him as he returns the same, Kento remains silent before you see the evident glint in his eyes as an idea sparks in his thoughts.

"Alright then," He ushers you to a quieter part of the store, specifically where last season's lingerie was displayed. "You wanna do something for me?"

You aggressively nod in response. "Yes pleaseeee, anything." Tugging on his blue dress shirt, you quietly beg. Beg that he'd let you do something for him for once.

He looks around the store for a moment to see if anyone else was browsing close enough to where you two were standing. The coast is clear.

"Hmm.." The suspense was killing you. "How about, you and I head to the changing rooms.." Oh, I know where this is going. "I stuff you full of my cum, then we walk out like nothing happened."

You froze. Completely. You weren't mortified, just amazed at how he was able to come up with something like this. "Wh- Ken, are you craz-?!"

"Ah- bap bap bap- I'm not done." He shushes you immediately. "After all that, I buy you a set of lingerie that I get to choose, which you'll wear later tonight." You notice that he holds a tighter grip on the handles of the shopping bag - his sleeves were rolled up and you could see the veins straining on his forearm. Kento was most likely turned on at the thought of what he had just said.

Your own throat goes dry, causing you to swallow your own spit. With furrowed brows you approach him closer to whisper what you were supposed to say less than twenty seconds ago - "..Are you out of your mind?"

He just shrugs his shoulders. "You said you wanted to do something for me, so I gave you an idea for that exact something."

Skeptical, you frantically look side to side before you let out a blabber of words. "What is this, Build-A-Bear?!" And that's exactly what it was. Although he was a gentleman outdoors, and of course indoors; but he's a completely different story under the sheets, Kento never failed to amuse you.

He wanted to stuff you full of his cum in the changing rooms like the bears at Build-A-Bear that get violated by the metal rod that pumps out the fluff. Then, when he's happy about how full you are, he'll pull your panties back up before bringing you back out like nothing happened, choosing a new lingerie set for his eyes to feast on later tonight.

Nanami stayed silent as he watched you think. The two of you weren't talking, your feet grounded in the same position. But he knows your hard-thinking face when he sees it, and he can tell that you're considering the offer. Maybe you were tempted.

You cross your arms. "Fine. But tell me how they're gonna allow us to stay in those changing rooms for more than ten minutes. You know how they are... in a store like this."

Nanami, with his free hand, reached over to the rack beside you, that displayed cute baby-doll sets in various colors. You watched as he grabbed one in every color - he at least took five. In pink, black, red, blue and purple. "That'll give us enough time."

Your stomach fluttered at his remark, was he really going to blow your back in the changing rooms right now? Oh God, if we were to get caught I'm never showing my face in this mall ever again.

You squint at him before turning around, unable to catch the pleasurable grin he had ended your conversation with.

The two of you walked to the back of the store where the changing rooms were, with occasional glares behind you to Nanami. You were practically scolding him with his eyes. Luckily it was more secluded and closed off in the back, and the fact that it was only Thursday resulted in the mall being the complete opposite of busy. That meant no staff will continuously pester you to hurry up, as there are others waiting in the queue.

As you approached the changing rooms, a brunette girl came up to the both of you. You assumed she was a worker by the lanyard on her neck. "Hi, how many?"

You held up the hangers, smiling awkwardly. "..Six items." She weirdly ogled you due to the amount of items you had and don't forget, they were all the same item just in different colours.. As if it were her business anyways.

"Oh- I couldn't make up my mind.. I h-had to try them all." Your breath hitched as you told a lie, you heard Nanami snort behind your back as he listened to how ridiculous you sounded.

Fortunately the girl let it slide. "...Okay, follow me." She walked down the hall of changing rooms until she reaches the one at the very far end. Of course, you and Kento followed. You chewed onto the skin of your lip, gripping onto the mesh fabric of the baby-doll dresses as you walked.

The worker unlocks the door with the key on her lanyard, pulling it open and stepping aside. Only yourself enters first, and you turn around to the two of them. "You can just.. wait for me outside of the door babe." You cycle glances between the worker and Kento. The worker thinks nothing of it. Your boyfriend just nods, smiling as he stepped a bit further back from the door, leaning against the wall behind him.

The girl makes a comment before closing the door. "There's a special button on the wall, if you need any assistance with sizing. Just press it if you need anything."

You take a look at the button before smiling at her, and saying thanks. The door finally closes. You give yourself a minute, taking a look at yourself in the mirror, breathing in and out. You place the hangers on the rail, and your purse on the tiny stool in the corner.

The worker was long gone, it seems that she was occupied with stocking the body-mist shelves outside. Nanami was still waiting outside of the door, until the sound of a lock turning was heard followed by you opening it slightly. Your head poking out in the tiny gap you made.

"..C-come here." You whisper, before he moves himself away from the wall, entering the changing room with you in it.

Nanami wasted no time, immediately grabbing the door open wider with his free hand, locking it behind him. Dropping all the bags on the ground, his lips found yours first. The two of you gently move against the wall, his hands roaming all over your body - but cups your face in the end.

"Are you sure?" He had to double check. Kento wasn't the type of guy to force you into anything you didn't want to do, he always made sure you were comfortable doing it. That's another reason why you loved him so dearly.

Breathing heavily, you eagerly nodded in response. He peppers a trail of kisses from your lips down to your neck, causing you to let out a breathy moan of his name in response. "..K-Kento," You shiver as you felt him plant wet kisses just below your jaw, the obvious tent growing as you continuously call out his name. In return, you wrap your arms around his neck like a sloth, whimpering and moaning as he reaches your sweet spots.

He groans as he indulges himself in your scent, which he never fails to lose his mind about. You were just irresistible and each time he had you - Nanami just yearned for more. The way you'd be dripping wet even though he barely laid a finger on you, and how sensitive you were to his own touch. It felt like he had won the lottery by just being with you.

Considering the time you two had, Kento quickly went back to kissing you on the lips, this time with tongue. By the time he was finished, a string of spit connected your tongues as he pulled away. You look into his eyes before making a request. "..I need you in me."

"Turn around, stay against the wall." He says in short breaths as he tried to catch his own, clearly pent up by the intense make-out session the two of you just had. You obey, your cheek against the wall as he kept you in place.

You looked to your right to face the full length mirror, the cold air hitting the skin of your ass as he flipped your skirt up, followed by your panties being dragged down your legs. He kneels and places a small kiss on your dripping hole before standing back up into his original stance. He grabs a handful of your soft flesh, giving it a spank. The quiet gasps from your mouth only rousing him more.

He struggles with his belt, eager to get it unbuckled. Silently, you watch until he finally gets it, his hardened cock springing up onto his stomach as it finally was able to escape from his pants. Your heart palpitates like crazy at the sight of the arousal dripping from his pink tip, causing you to push back onto him when you weren't meant to - you needed him. Bad.

"..Be patient baby," he grins, after seeing how needy you've become.

You arch your back a bit more, putting your pussy on display to him. He did nothing but devour your body like a work of art with his own eyes. His warm hands snake onto your shoulder for support as he aligns the tip of his cock with your hole that was quite literally begging for him.

A sharp inhale comes from you as you felt his thick cock stretching you out. Kento heard this, and he quickly gave you a peck on the temple before gripping onto your flesh harder. As soon as he slid all the way in, he planted a few more kisses on your nape allowing you to adjust.

He gave you nothing but sweet, slow movements to make sure he didn't hurt you. His chin laid onto your shoulder as breathy moans slipped from his lips - this had only made your knees weaker.

Still pinned against the wall, you snaked your hand to the back of his head, pulling him closer. "G-go ha-arder." And so he did. Kento knew the difference between faster and harder, and he never mixed the two up.

You grab onto the wall for support as he ruts in to you harder, his cock covered with ring of creamy white near the shaft. The gel from his hair rather non-existent from the way you grabbed for it earlier.

"F-fuck," You moaned out, it had only made him go crazier each time you gasped his name or little curses under your breath. The noise of whimpering and squelches from each thrust echoing through the rather tiny changing room.

Your stimulation reaches peak as he fondled with your breasts each time he thrusted into you, his balls making a slapping noise along with them.

He gently tugged your hair into a pony, causing you to haul your face off the wall. "Look into the mirror doll," He spoke between soft grunts. "Watch how you take my big cock like the little slut you are." Your face was messed up, along with you hair at this point too. Each hair was no longer in place with its curl, and your lipstick had been rubbed off into different directions.

You felt his pace change not too drastically, but he continuously deeped onto your g-spot. Your knees weaken and he notices this, the knot in your stomach tightening as he felt your muscle clench non-stop around him.

"K-Kento.. I'm gonna..-" You gasp as he yanked the low cut collar of your top down, causing your boobs to slip out. He pulls you back onto his chest causing you to stand up straight, interlocking his forearms around your elbows. The two of you are now facing the mirror. Warmth of his chest hitting your back as you leaned against it.

You watch as your tits bounce with every deep thrust, Nanami whimpering quietly as he feels his balls tightening. "I-I need to cum..." You whispered, at this point your voice was no longer there. "Please..."

He leaned into your face as you rest the back of your head on his shouder, you were in a moment of bliss. "I know princess, cum all over my cock like a good girl."

And that did it for you. You moaned out loud, your intense orgasm washing over you, and Kento was quick enough to cover your mouth so no one from outside would hear the filthy things happening inside of a changing room as small as this.

Not long after, his warm ropes of cum filled you up constantly as he whimpered quietly, the two of you drained from the intense session.

You use your own two hands to grab onto the mirror decorating it with handprints. Kento breathed heavily as he watched his cock slip out from your hole. Before a drop slips out, he gently pushed two of his fingers in to make sure his load stays inside of you. And kindly enough, he pulled his panties back up for you.

"Thank you baby, you're too good for me." He combs your hair with his hands, putting it back into place before giving your cheek a soft kiss. You turn around and do the same, but this time on his lips.

"I love you, Kento. So much." You smiled, still a bit overstimulated but it was nothing you couldn't take. Your legs were a bit weak though, and it was time for you two to leave.

Just a few finishing touches before leaving, you made sure to fix straighten your top again as Nanami does the same to his signature animal print tie.

You turned to the untouched sets on the rack he had taken for you earlier, giggling as you had completely forgotten they were there. "I guess I didn't get to try them on," You smiled as you bunched up the hangers in your hand.

"I'm sure you'd still look beautiful in all of them regardless," He responded, picking up the bags off the floor and opening the door. Luckily no one was wandering the halls outside.

You rolled your eyes, walking out into the open as if you weren't stuffed with his cum right now. Kento walked beside you as he caressed your soft hair from the back, giving you another kiss on your head. "Hold on," Confused, you stopped in your tracks as he walked off somewhere else, calling out for one of the workers.

She was occupied with arranging the underwear into the sizing baskets. "Yes, may I help you?" She approached you both. It was actually the same girl from earlier.

"I'd like to buy everything in this store please, for my girlfriend over here." He asked, and he was serious. I mean, he's the Kento Nanami.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ © luvwestwood ‘24. all works are owned by me, and originally come from my own head. please do not re-post on a third party platform without my permission!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⤳ as always, thank you for the love on each and every one of my posts. 🎀🩷

[saturnville]

centavito, jude bellingham

pairing: jude bellingham x she (black fem oc/reader) warning: none. just short. content: he wants her back and the chance is small, but he bets on his lucky coin that it'll work in his favor. song reference: centavito by romeo santos. an: it's been over 6 years since I wrote a football-related fic, so please give me some grace lol. and ofc, when I saw that there weren't many jude fics with a black reader/oc, I had slide one in there.

“I learned my lesson and I have been miserable without you. Please…one more chance.” 

The coin he twirled in his pocket was warm. His hands had fisted it tightly the entire walk to her front door. When he spoke, he turned it between his index finger and thumb over and over. There was only one way that it could go and that was up. So he hoped. 

She heard the voice of her grandmother in her ears as he took in his words. “If he fools you once, that’s on him! But, if he fools you again, he can’t be solely responsible. So, some people do change and I’m not gonna tell you he hasn’t, but it’s up to you to discern that for yourself, baby.” 

He didn’t cheat on her. He wasn’t mean, conniving, or deceitful. He simply didn’t appreciate her. When his life turned upside down and he became the wonder boy of the world, he forgot about her. She was pushed into the shadows when he promised she’d always be in the light. 

Suddenly, her rants about university exams and assignments weren’t interesting. Her love for the arts wasn’t fascinating. Long nights watching La Casa de Papel in her living room weren’t fun. Their nights in the kitchen trying new recipes were no longer a priority. She was no longer a priority. 

So, she left. She slid the promise ring off her middle finger, dropped it on his nightstand, and with tears in her eyes (and her head held high), she gathered her purse and went back to her apartment. She gathered all he’d gifted her and placed it in the box meticulously. Clothes and jerseys, books and letters--all prepared to be put into storage until she figured out where she truly wanted them to go. 

And just as she prepared to move the boxes into the storage unit after they’d sat in her bedroom corner for 17 days (yes, she counted), he was on the other side of the door, stopping her in her tracks. 

He looked fatigued, which could be credited to being a high-profile professional athlete, or as he put it, “Sleepless nights without you.” 

At that moment, he appeared so small. Not physically, per se, but emotionally. His eyes, usually bright and full of life, were dull and glossy with an emotion she couldn’t quite identify. Regret?

And when he spoke, he sounded like a chile who was trying not to choke over his words as he fought back tears. 

“Jude…” she said quietly, blinking back tears. Her hand was still tight around the door knob. “I don’t know.” She wanted him, sure, but she wasn’t willing to put herself in the position through an even worse heartbreak. But, at the same time, she believed what she’d said. 

“I’ll be better for you. I can’t lose you forever. One more chance, darling…please.” She’s never heard him beg in such a way. It made her insides stir.

Her jaw shifted as her eyes darted across his face, searching for any hint of dishonesty. Nothing or the sort. His eyes spoke what his mouth didn’t and it overwhelmed her greatly. I’m sorry, darling. 

“You love me?” she questioned after some time, her thick eyebrows furrowing. She wiped away the fallen tear that sped down her cheek. 

Jude nodded quickly. “I do. More than you know and more than I’ve shown you.” 

Her eyes moved quickly—she was thinking. He continued to fiddle with the coin in his pocket. Except his movements grew quicker as the anticipation grew.

“One chance,” she said after some time. “And you earn it.” 

Jude released the breath he was unaware he held and thanked the heavens above. Slowly, she moved out of the way to allow his entrance into her apartment. He closed the door behind him and pulled the coin from his pocket. Heads. 

 He smiled small. Little cent. The odds were finally in his favor. 

[targaryen-dynasty]

LOVE ME TOMORROW (aka Stay)

Part 2

modern!Aemond Targaryen x best friend!Reader

You always thought the benefits part only included sex, but with Aemond it also seems to include cuddling, life advice and breakfast.

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT–MINORS DNI; profanity, p in v, missionary, doggy style, choking, degrading, humiliating, unprotected sex, size kink, slight breeding kink, praise kink, rough sex, friends with benefits kinda turning into a relationship, fluff, teasing, jealous Aemond Targaryen, female Reader

WORDS: 3.5 k

NOTES: Used a prompt by @creativepromptsforwriting for this. Smut below the cut.

The thing between you and Aemond had been going on for roughly five months at this point. Was it even a thing? You both were hooking up with each other whenever you felt like it. Sometimes it was only one message a week exchanged between your two, other times it was seven. That usually depended on how busy you both were with college, or how badly one of you needed a distraction from it. And you always kept things casual.

But weirdly, some things had turned into habits you both did not bother to address. 

Whenever Aemond and you hooked up at your place, he tended to stay a little longer than anticipated, like one-movie-and-two-rounds-of-fucking long. You always thought the benefits part of being friends with benefits only included sex, but with Aemond it also seemed to include cuddling and life advice.

Another weird habit was that the both of you never seemed to settle on just watching movies anymore, and instead did the most domestic things together. The movie was just to give you both some background noises, whilst you showed him some funny memes or he decided to rant about whatever pissed him off that day. 

So, technically, your friends with benefits situationship was dangerously close to turning into a relationship. 

But neither of you felt bold enough to bring the topic up, the fear of being rejected by the other one far too big. It was a high risk to take, considering you both enjoyed each other’s company. 

Those habits also were the main reason the blonde boy was currently laying in your bed with one arm crossed behind his head and his other snaking behind your neck with his hand anchored at your shoulder to keep your body comfortably nestled against his. His fingers were fidgeting with the fabric of the oversized t-shirt you wore. His t-shirt. 

It was one of the evenings he complained about his older brother Aegon, listing all the things Aemond deemed were going wrong in Aegon’s life, whilst you drew lazy patterns on his naked torso, your index finger carefully following the sharp outlines of his abs. “Are you even listening?“ The baritone of his voice cut in, catching your attention. “I–yeah… sure,“ you stressed, tilting your head upwards to look at him with a concerned frown on your forehead.  

You were flashing him your biggest puppy dog eyes as an attempt to convince him, but Aemond did not seem to buy your lies. “What is it?“ With the way he sighed ever so slightly before asking the question, you were sure he was disappointed he had spent the past 15 minutes of his life telling you stuff you didn’t even care about. And considering how quiet he was the first days and nights you had spent alongside each other, you couldn’t even be mad at him. He trusted you–coming out of his tough shell.

“It’s just��,“ you shifted next to him in order to sit up and be able to perfectly meet his eye. Your thumb and index finger pinched the bridge of your nose, and with a desperate sigh leaving your lips, it was sure the next words weren’t leaving your mouth too easily, “…I met Jace at the frat party yesterday.“ 

The clenching of Aemond’s jaw at the mere mention of your ex-boyfriend was perfectly visible, and a reaction you knew was coming. It always did whenever you mentioned him, even though you had only talked about him briefly before and only once your situationship with Aemond became a bit more serious, teetering on the edge of turning into a relationship. 

Despite your sitting position, Aemond kept his hand on your shoulder, but it was short of being gentle and soft with his fingers slightly digging into your flesh–another indicator that he was all but pleased about the mention of your ex. You weren’t even sure why he acted that way whenever the topic came up, but you always blamed it on Aemond not wanting to talk about things that were threatening to deepen your relationship. Juxtaposing his urge to talk about his family issues, though.

“And what did he want?“ He asked, stern eye fixed with yours. 

Aemond was intense. In everything he did. And as of right now, it was the intensity of his gaze that had your composure crumbling, resulting in you fidgeting with your fingers in order to pull your thoughts away from him. You didn’t notice your head bowing forwards in what one could capture as submission, too eager to please and succumb to his happiness.

“Oh, y–you know…,” you stammered, knowing that everything you said brought you even deeper down the rabbit hole.” … he just asked if we could be friends again.“ And those words alone had him snorting out, a sound you rarely heard from Aemond, and with him raising his eyebrows, you knew he expected you to keep talking–to enlighten him. And you did just that, trying to mend his anger. 

“I told him I wasn’t sure and that I had to think about it… but he apologized and said he was sorry for how things ended between us.“ This time it was Aemond pinching the bridge of his nose, followed by a loud sighing. Much to your own surprise, his reaction offended you, because he was in no position to judge you for the way you led your life. 

“What’s this about? Why are you pissed now?“ You hissed, crossing your arms in frustration. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re too naive if you think he just wants to be your friend,“ he said, rubbing the palm of his hand over his face. The calmness in his voice was surprising but eerily calming, yet you knew when not to trust it, despite it helping to slow down your irritated heartbeat. 

Of course, he was right, and deep down you knew it, but Jace still had you in a chokehold, even if you did not like to admit it. It wasn’t because of how well your relationship with him went, because it just didn’t. It was messy and short-lived with him treating you like an option, and in the six months you’d dated, he managed to do enough bullshit to fuck with your mind and permanently scar your soul. 

That was the reason you kind of got involved with Aemond so quickly after the break-up. During your first hookups, you thought there were many similarities between him and Jace, and that somehow did the trick and lured you in. But over time, you came to the realization that Aemond was far from being a monster like the brunette, especially once he chose to let his guard down around you and show you the soft and gentle man that laid beneath the tough shell.

And that certainly convinced you to stay, that side of him granting you a whole lot of comfort and stability, something you had desperately craved.

Your mouth opened and closed, visibly fighting for anything to say–but then it dawned you. 

“Aemond Targaryen, are you fucking jealous of my ex?“ You asked with raised eyebrows, biting the insides of your cheeks to stop the corners of your lips from quirking into a wide grin before continuing, “if that’s meant to make me feel better about myself, it’s definitely not working, you imbecile.“ A swift and gentle blow to his right shoulder had him scoffing, raising both his hands in defense and shifting to prop himself up against the headboard of your large bed. 

“Come on, Y/N, don’t spin it around like I am the bad guy right now,“ he warned, though amusement was laced within his voice, “it’s just the truth. You never had anything good to say about that asshole. And where was he the past few months, mh? He just crawls out of his fucking hole and expects you to forgive him,” he certainly had a point. “If you’re doing that, you’re way dumber than I’ve expected you to be.“ That was harsh, and by the way he immediately reached for your wrist to pull you onto his lap with your head resting against his chest and his muscular arms wrapped around you, large hands splaying out over the entirety of your waist, you were sure he knew the effects of his words.

“Listen,“ his raspy voice rang out, and with your ear being pressed to his chest, you could hear the words rumbling within the depths of it. “If you fall for that fucking asshole again, I will not be there to comfort you, when he does the same shit he did before.“ 

You tried to wiggle your way out of Aemond's strong embrace to sit back up–oblivious to the position you already were in–but to no avail. His arms kept you locked in place and you actually did not really bother. 

“Why do you even care, Aemond? It’s not like we’re doing more than hooking up to fuck. You aren’t even supposed to stay so much longer afterwards,“ you huffed, words slightly muffled with your cheek against his chest. What you couldn’t see in your position was the wide smirk that was plastered across his chiseled features, almost a bit cocky and devious. 

“Well, do you want me to leave, baby?“ The pet name was solely meant to tease you, obvious in the way he emphasized it with a squeeze of your flesh.

You huffed in annoyance at his question, and in an instant, Aemond had you both flipped over, so he was towering above you with your legs still wrapped around his waist and your hair splayed out over the pillow beneath your head. 

“God, I fucking hate you, Aem,“ you groaned in despair. He knew just how difficult it was for you to resist his charm. And you enjoyed his company, so why would you want him to leave? Deep down you wanted him to stay even longer, perhaps even crashing at your place. Breakfast together didn’t sound too bad after all. 

His fingertips danced along the outsides of your exposed thighs, the hem of the shirt rucked up around your waist. And in that moment, you thanked the Seven you had been too lazy to put your panties back on after your last round of fucking, leaving you only in his oversized shirt and him in nothing more than a pair of black boxer briefs, which already were visibly strained in the front, the outline of his hard member visible. He clearly was enjoying the teasing. 

“You have a weird way of showing that, Y/N,“ the blonde teased, and his lips found your neck, nippling on the skin and eliciting a groan to fall past your lips–undetermined if it was out of annoyance because of his cockiness or sheer impatience. 

Tilting your head to the side, you granted him more access to one of your most sensitive spots in the curve where your shoulder and neck met, moaning as he started to suck and nibble on it. 

“Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you,“ you taunted him, a high pitched moan leaving your lips as his teeth harshly dug into your flesh. You were not thinking about the consequences of his jealousy, and as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thighs to silence you, you couldn’t stop yourself from rocking your pussy against his still clothed cock. 

Now it was him moaning, sounding as delicious as ever. 

Your fingers found the hem of his boxers, hooking beneath to pull on it, only to let it snap back against his skin. He sucked in a sharp breath and thrusted his length against your core. 

“Such a fucking tease,” his voice had dropped an octave, thick with arousal and sending a shiver straight down to the soles of your feet as it fanned over your neck. You desperately tried to push his underwear down and free his hard cock, so you could grab it and stroke it, but Aemond stopped your hand from trailing south. “And as impatient as always.” You couldn’t see his face, but the smug grin on his lips was perfectly audible. 

It was meant to make you unsure and shy, but you weren’t afraid to admit your attraction towards him, “oh, you know that’s the effect you have on me.“ That seemed to please him, judging by the content ‘mh’ that rumbled in the depth of his chest. 

One of his hands clasped around your throat, applying just a bit of pressure, before his lips were on yours in a searing kiss. His tongue was prying your lips apart, slipping past them to deepen the kiss even more, and drink down every whimper you made whenever he rutted his hips against yours, teasing your sensitive cunt. 

With yourself still being a bit overstimulated from all the times he had taken you before, you couldn’t stop yourself from squirming, his large hand landing on your thigh determined to keep you neatly locked in place and right where he wanted you. 

You both pulled back to catch your breaths, and Aemond was quick to shimmy out of his boxers. You were right. He was rock hard, his heavy cock standing to full attention, bobbing with each movement, and the protruding vein running along the underside of it as prominent as ever. Your mouth watered at the thought of tracing it with your tongue like you always did when sucking him off, his heavy breathing and raspy groans echoing in the back of your head. 

In an instant, Aemond was back between your parted legs, connecting your lips once again. His cock was captured between your bodies with his balls pressed to your cunt, covering them in your arousal. Every time he shifted his hips, he dragged the base of his cock along your clit, granting you bolts of pleasure that still weren’t enough for you. 

As he took in a deep breath, he rested his forehead against yours, but your whiney voice had him withdrawing to get a better look of you. “Aem,“ you begged, your eyes appearing glassy in the dim light of your room, “I need you… please.“ It sounded far more desperate than intended, but he got the point. 

His usually lilac eye was dark blown with lust, the beautiful color reduced to nothing else than a thin ring, and raked over your body. Despite wearing his shirt, you felt completely exposed to him. The intensity of his gaze always did that to you. 

Aemond sat back on his haunches and grabbed his shaft, dragging it through your folds to gather some of your arousal and use it as lubricant, fisting himself despite already being rock hard. “You’re soaked, Y/N,” he remarked, and even though he kept his head bowed downward to watch the movements of his own hand and a few strands of blonde hair covered his features, you could see the ghost of a smirk dancing along his lips. “All this for me, huh? So eager to be fucked by me again. You’re insatiable,” this elicited a whine from you, thighs and stomach clenching as you couldn’t wait any longer.

He aligned the tip of his cock with your entrance and practically forced himself into you. You should have been used to his girth by now, and more to the painful stretch that followed along with him sliding in, but you weren’t. 

You both moaned in unison with your walls clenching tightly around him–engulfing him–until he completely bottomed out, his balls pressing flush against your soppy cunt. “Seems like me being jealous is quite the great motivator for you as well, mh?“ his voice was strained, indicating how much he fought to restrain himself from recklessly pounding into you–at least for a few seconds to give you some time to adjust to his size. 

You were filled to the brim with his thick cock, the sensation leaving you little space to form any coherent thoughts, hence your lack of reply. The blonde did not seem to care. “Oh, sweetheart, I haven’t even moved and you’re already drunk from my cock? A bit pathetic, don’t you think?“ 

“C-Can you move, now?“ You half begged and half demanded, the crimson covering your cheeks had Aemond chuckling out. 

But he complied immediately, thrusting his hips in and out of you at a rather languid pace. Each movement he made had his muscles flexing, a sheen of sweat covering his pale skin and highlighting them even more. 

Your head tipped back into the pillows whenever the tip of his cock brushed your sweet spot, the familiar sensation of seeing stars pushing you into a kind of overdrive. “Just–just like that,“ you hiccuped between particularly harsh thrusts of him, spurring him on even more. 

Aemond’s thrusts grew quicker and sharper with each passing second, coaxing little ‘uh’s and ‘oh’s’ out of you, until he was all but pounding into you, the headboard of your bed repeatedly bumping against the wall of your bedroom in sync with his movements.

At some point, the sounds of skin slapping on skin and your moans and whines were the only sounds bouncing off the walls, turning the whole scene even more lewd than it already was. 

When Aemond grabbed you to flip you onto your belly, you squealed in surprise but were shushed by him easing his cock back into you right away, resuming the merciless pace he had set up before. 

“You, fuck, take me so fucking well,“ his raspy voice cooed, and by the way he shifted behind you, you knew he was watching the way his cock repeatedly disappeared into your tight cunt. The praise went straight to your head, having you biting your bottom lip in a sheepish manner, whimpering a ‘thank you.’ It was the first time he praised you, and the tingling in the pit of your belly was enough confirmation for you to know you liked it. 

His next movements caught you by surprise, being something he had never done before. 

His large hand entangled into the tresses of your hair, wrapping it around its palm, and he used the grip to roughly pull you onto your knees with your back pressed flush against his sweaty chest. With one arm around your waist and his other coming from your hair to clasp around your throat to apply a good bit of pressure to it, he supported your small frame and kept you in place, keeping you steady so he was able to snap his hips into yours. 

The new angle was immaculate, allowing him to pistone even deeper into you, impaling you on his cock as you were sure it was threatening to come out of your throat at any given moment. You tipped your head back against his shoulder, and Aemond turned his own to press his lips to your cheek in a sloppy kiss.

He was doing all the work, but you couldn’t care less. It felt amazing. Your whole body was on fire, sending you into a frenzy. It was almost too much for you to remember the rules you both had set up at the start of your situationship, one of said rules being you asking for his permission to come. “’M close, Aem,“ you whined, turning your head for him to kiss your lips instead, “can I–can I come?“ You felt your orgasm approaching you rather quickly, almost too quick for your liking, but lucky for you, Aemond was just as quick to reply.

“Yes, go on, Y/N, cum for me,“ he all but commanded you, “soak my fucking cock.“ And with that, the coil in your belly tightened and snapped, your walls convulsing around him. 

Your release seemed to trigger his own, because shortly after, Aemond was spending himself inside of your quivering walls, painting them from the inside. His thrusts did not falter once, fucking his load so deep inside of you, you’d have been sure he got you pregnant if it wasn’t for you being on birth control. 

Only once both your aftershocks subsided, leaving you a panting mess, Aemond let go of you to let you settle in the cushions belly first, resulting in him pulling out of you. It was the cold air hitting his flaccid cock for him, and the sudden feeling of emptiness for you, but you both winced almost simultaneously, grimacing at the loss. 

Aemond hesitated to move for a few seconds, too mesmerized watching how torrents of his seed slowly seeped out of your assaulted core, dribbling over your overstimulated clit down onto the sheets. He groaned, and if it wasn’t for him being utterly fucked out, he would’ve turned hard straight away again.  

As he eventually fell down into the vacant spot next to you, his hand found your ass right away, roughly groping the flesh, whilst he leant over you to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “That was fucking amazing.“

Your reply was muffled by the pillows, because obviously you needed a few seconds to regain your composure and come back to your senses. But his following question worked wonders to speed up the process, causing you to roll on your side and face him. 

“Will you go on a date with me?“

The heat in your body returned, but it was more bearable than before–mostly spreading to your cheeks and neck–despite his eye carefully watching your every move, gauging your reaction.  

“Only if you stay the night.“

[ellalalala]

Sorry if I sound corny but number 77 with Dottore for the drabble list??

Nothing corny about it! :) this turned out way longer than I anticipated, but I hope it's to your liking <3

drabble list

77. There is nothing wrong with you

You were exhausted.

The days blended into one as you spent hours upon hours at your desk, eyes glued to the ample paperwork that needed to be dealt with. Your rationality told you that you were going about this the wrong way; skipping meals and losing sleep over work never did you good, and though the stars had shown you the consequences of those actions numerous times, you never learned your lesson.

It became increasingly difficult to focus. Your mind demanded rest but you refused to oblige. Your calloused fingers hurt from holding a pen for so long; your thoughts were in disarray, mind clouded by exhaustion; your body felt weaker than ever before and sitting upright was a challenge in and of itself.

You couldn't stop, though. There were so many things that demanded your attention, so many deadlines that worsened your anxieties. If you couldn't finish all your tasks in time, then what were you good for?

Still, you wanted rest so badly. When was the last time you'd slept well? When did you last play chess with Zandik, just as you used to do every day? You ached with a desperate desire for tranquility but even that was overtaken by your crippling fear of failure.

All of which Zandik noticed. He made an attempt at pulling you away from your desk one night: with a hand placed on your shoulder, he said, "you can't go on like this any longer. Come to bed."

And you'd rejected him, swatted his hand away and told him not to distract you - he didn't bother you again after that.

Until he found you hunched over your journal deep into the night. Your mind didn't register his voice until he came to stand right next to you.

Zandik called your name softly, "you can't do this to yourself."

"I'm just working."

"Work can wait. When was the last time you slept?"

Your fingers gripped the pen tighter. It hurt so badly.

"Yesterday, I think."

You wondered if he was disappointed in you. Were you too slow, had you failed to meet his expectations?

Zandik caressed your hair with his ungloved hand and you nearly recoiled at the feeling of it; you couldn't remember the last time you bathed. You must have looked dreadful - a shell of a human being, beyond unrecognizable.

"Your body needs rest," he murmured, "this has gotten out of control. Your health, both physical and mental, will be beyond saving if you continue at this rate."

You gritted your teeth. "I feel fine. I'll be done soon, anyway."

"How soon?"

"Soon. In a few hours- or days, it doesn't matter. Soon."

Zandik exhaled softly. He was disappointed - you knew it. You had failed him and proven yourself to be unworthy of all attention - a failure of a partner, of a human being.

"I don't recall the last time I saw you eat a proper meal," he broke you out of your thoughts. You didn't dare to look at him; your shame was far too great. "Look at yourself. You haven't left this study in so long; Columbina asks me about you every day."

"She'll manage without me."

"And I?"

The question made you droop your head. Zandik never spoke of his affection for you aloud - you could see all of it in his actions: his devotion, care, desire. The innocent implication of his words evoked guilt, sadness, among so many other complicated feelings that you couldn't put a name to.

"I really, really need to finish this, Zandik-"

"I miss you," he said, so easily that it made your heart ache with longing. You'd missed him, too; spending your days without feeling his touch, hearing his never-ending rants about whatever research he was engrossed in - you wilted without Zandik near.

You were hesitant to look at him. Something told you that you would cave and abandon your work if you did.

"This needs to be dealt with, Zandik. If I don't do it now, I'll never... I have to."

Or I'll feel like a failure. The words lay on the tip of your tongue but you were careful not to voice them.

Zandik's hand moved down to the nape of your neck. Had you been any weaker, you would have leaned against him, given up on your futile efforts to prove your worth to... him? Yourself?

"You're overworking yourself," Zandik whispered, "even I know not to take things so far and you have seen how I can get when something catches my interest."

You huffed bitterly, turning your head in the opposite direction lest he catch sight of the tears that welled in your eyes. "How do you not understand? I'm not overworking myself - I've barely managed to get anything done today. No matter what I try, I just can't do it. I have to, I know I have to, but I can't and it's ruining everything."

Frustration bubbled in your chest. Archons, you were so tired. The temptation to give up was strong, but how would you face yourself? Zandik? How could you rest after resigning yourself to failure?

"You need a break," Zandik murmured, his tone laced with sympathy, "take the day off tomorrow, and I will help you with whatever else is left."

"I can't."

"Why?"

The words came out shakily, "I'll feel wrong. I already do."

Tears spilled from your eyes before you could stop them; it was too much. You felt exhausted, burdened by the weight of your own pressure, and continuing to pretend that it didn't bother you felt impossible. Your dignity was all but crushed in the palm of your hand as Zandik crouched and pried your hands from your face.

Everything hurt so badly: your head, neck, hands, every part of your body ached and begged for relief. Your heart filled with something heavy and you lacked the tools to get rid of it. When did this strange feeling take root in your chest? When was the last time that you felt right?

"I don't know how to deal with it," you whined, "I've tried so hard but nothing works. I'm just wrong. I can't do it."

You could hear Zandik's breath hitch through your cries.

"Look at me," he said - a command. His hands cupped your face and beckoned you to meet his gaze. Your sight was blurry, but you could just barely make out his soft, cyan hair, a pair of ruby eyes overflowing with a wistful feeling you couldn't comprehend.

"There is nothing wrong with you."

Gingerly wiping your tears away, he continued, "I know what it is like to feel inherently terrible and to not have someone who could prove you wrong. But you have me." And why would he say that so softly? You furrowed your brows as more tears pooled in your eyes - but Zandik didn't mind. He kept wiping at your eyes as if he could quell the turmoil within your heart with just a touch. "I will show you that you are good; that you are capable, determined, worthy. You don't have to do this by yourself, my dear."

You all but softened against him. Resting your forehead against his own, you allowed Zandik to take care of you in a way that he hadn't in so long. Frustration gave way to acceptance and you exhaled shakily when he pressed his lips to your cheeks - a soothing thing.

"I will help you in any way that I can," he added, "Omega will handle my work for the time being."

"I missed you," are the only words that you could speak, and Zandik accepted them with a soft, barely noticeable smile.

"I know. I'm here. You will be alright; this, too, shall pass with time."

You found that notion to be a little more believable, now.

[beardedjoel]

closer | part twenty two - finale!

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au.

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3  

chapter summary: in this final chapter, you and joel reconnect and discover just how deep your feelings for each other run. 8.6 k words. chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, cockwarming as the whole show, unprotected piv, sweet slow in love sex, dirty talk, praise kink a/n: I'M EMOTIONAL AS FUCK RIGHT NOW AND IDK WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. i love love love these two lovesick idiots so much, they've helped me grow as a writer and i'm so happy so many of you have loved reading this story also. as much as i've written it for myself i also wrote it for all of you who encouraged me along the way, so THANK YOU SO MUCH! i could never express just how thankful i am for how much love this story has gotten. i promise this won't be the very last of this reader and joel, i would love to do a small epilogue or drabble sometime soon as well. anyways this has been such a rant THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and please enjoy this final chapter!

You bound down the stairs giddily, happy to take in the familiar sights of Joel’s house in the light of day. You had missed its cozy comforts, the way it had been a second home to you, how Joel had been home to you. You’re practically vibrating with happiness, the feeling warm and radiating from the middle of your chest outwards. You’re tingling with anticipation to see Joel again, even with the fact that you’d just spend the entire night next to him. You couldn’t wait to interact with him, look into his eyes, and give him a good morning kiss. It nearly felt surreal, like you weren’t sure if this could have ever happened again. 

You hear the soft drone of the TV, and when you don’t see Joel in the kitchen, you make your way to the living room, where he’s seated, sprawled out on his cushy couch. His eyes look only half-focused on a sports channel, running highlights and going into detail on all the recent games, and you immediately tune it out. When you enter the room, Joel looks up and his eyes widen, his coffee halfway to his mouth. He finishes the sip, slurping purposefully and setting the mug down on the side table next to the couch with careful hands, not once taking his eyes off of you. You stand in the doorway, stark naked, not having bothered to even put on one of Joel’s shirts this morning.

“Isn’t that a sight,” he says quietly, one hand still wrapped tightly around the warm mug, as if he doesn’t know what to do with it. His tone seems controlled, but you can tell this is having more of an effect on him than even you’d expected. You try to not wear too big of a smirk as you stand, inspecting him.

“Y’better be comin’ right over to this lap if you're gonna walk in here lookin’ like that.” He cocks his head, making purposeful, long movements of his eyes to roam over your entire body, stopping longer to admire your tits, nipples slightly erect already from the chill of the air and your anticipation for Joel this morning. You close the space between you, padding over to the couch, where Joel adjusts his legs, making room for you.. You stop short, drumming your fingers on the edge of the table where Joel’s mug sits.

“Coffee first,” you declare, turning to walk back over to the counter, making sure Joel has a clear, impeccable view of your ass as you go. Joel gets up to follow you, and you hear a distant groan, no mistaking that it’s his back still bothering him.

“Where d’ya think you’re goin’?” he asks impatiently, standing across the island in the kitchen, watching you. “My lap was ready for you, darlin’.” 

You twist your lips to the side, purposefully ignoring him. “Now where were those mugs…” you mutter, reaching up on your tip-toes to look through cabinets, stretching your body out and offering an even better view of all your assets.

“You know damn well where those mugs are, sweetheart,” Joel growls out from across the room, arms folded in front of him. “Ignorin’ me… can’t believe this,” he mutters under his breath, but still loud enough that you can make it out.

“Silly me, you’re right,” you reply airily, immediately opening the correct cabinet and getting a mug out before filling it with coffee. When you glance at Joel before opening the fridge, the look on his face is odd, unreadable.

“I, uh… still have the creamer. A new one. Stupid, I know. I bought a new one when the old one went bad. Jus’ in case…” Joel pulls his lips into his mouth and avoids your gaze for a moment. 

Your heart beats harder for a few seconds, a hole opening in your chest that you feel like you might fall right through. It feels like your heart breaking in real time, realizing that all this time, Joel still cared so much, so fucking much. You clutch your chest, fingers brushing over your bare skin there, and give Joel the softest, warmest smile you can conjure up. 

“Thank you,” you say, wanting to deliver it with sincerity and show the meaning that it has for you. Joel gives you a simple nod, knowing nothing more needs to be said about it, that you both understand what it means and what you both went through. You move along, pouring the creamer in your coffee and walking back to Joel, letting him guide you back with a rough hand on your lower back.

“Gonna jus’ ignore my questions, now?” Joel asks, in the half-teasing, half-irritated way that can only mean he’s brewing up all kinds of ways to punish you. He lowers himself back onto the couch with an equally loud groan, and you lift your brows, wondering if you should question him about it.

“You wouldn’t want me to be without my coffee, would you?” you ask, your voice syrupy sweet as it comes out of your mouth. You blink, fluttering your lashes for affect and Joel simply narrows his eyes at you, clearly not pleased with your teasing this early in the morning.

“How do you want me, then?” you ask, hands on your hips as you stand before him. Joel’s eyebrows shoot up at the question and he smirks wildly. 

“You bad fuckin’ girl,” Joel tuts with a shake of his head, seeming to instantly forgive what transpired in the kitchen. “Why don’t you sit on down, put your back right here,” he says, patting his chest gently, clad in a classic Joel look of a faded sports tee. You do as he asks, climbing onto his lap with your back to him, scooting your ass all the way back until it’s flush with his torso. Joel’s arms go around you, his legs falling to the side slightly to make room for yours to dangle in between them.

You both sigh in contentment at the feeling of being close to each other on top of the sexual temptation you’ve quite literally just placed in Joel's lap. He reaches a hand to the side to grab his mug, bringing it to his lips over your shoulder. Once he takes a sip, he quickly nuzzles the side of your head. 

“Y’sleep okay?”

“Better than I have in months,” you say with a breath of laughter, and Joel nods in agreement.

“Me too, darlin’. Wore each other out,” he says. 

“So much pressure off of both our shoulders. I don’t know if you feel that too, but I do,” you tell him. 

“Mhm. Feels like… all is right again, huh?”

“Mhm,” you nod, reaching for your own cup, precariously perching yourself to keep your balance on Joel’s lap, your ass rutting into his crotch a bit more. Joel groans quietly at the sensation, which you definitely don’t miss. You both went pretty hard last night, and you’re not sure what Joel will be feeling up for today if his back was any indication. 

“How’s your back?” you ask, while the topic is on your mind. “Promise I won’t tease,” you add on lightheartedly. 

Joel grumbles a little bit but then sighs in resignation. “I’m not in good shape here darlin’, if I’m honest. But hell, what’s a man to do when a pretty girl sits in his lap naked as the day she was born, but his back hurts? Be a fool not to take advantage of this,” he says, frustration cropping up in his tone. You realize Joel must be feeling touchy about his age these days, especially considering his birthday was yesterday.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you turn slightly and reach a hand over your shoulder to stroke Joel’s face gently. “I just want to spend time with you, whatever you want to do. I don’t want you to mess you back up even more.”

Joel finds it in him to grumble a bit more, but he places a kiss on your bare shoulder, murmuring a thank you into the skin. You two sit and drink your coffee in peace for a little while with the TV as background noise, but you feel the unmistakable bulge of Joel’s cock hardening underneath you as he absentmindedly runs his fingers along the soft skin of your thighs and arms. 

“Hmm,” he mumbles quietly to himself, as if he’s trying to decide what to do - absolutely ravage you or keep his back from being completely fucked and sending him out of work for a few days. 

“Joel… your back…” you say before he can even get any ideas.

“I know… I jus’...” he starts

“I have an idea,” you announce, cutting him off. “If you let me take care of you a little - get a heating pad, all of that stuff.l, I’ll sit right back here and let you do whatever you want to do to me. You’ll barely have to move. No pressure to do anything that’ll hurt you.”

Joel cocks an eyebrow, intrigued at your offer. “Y’shouldn’t have to take care of me like that…” he starts, and you immediately want to stop that train of thought before it derails completely and leaves him feeling bad about himself. 

“Said I wanted to take care of you, so let me,” you say, and Joel starts to protest, but you cut in again. “How many times have you taken care of me, done so much for me? And for so much more than a day of nursing a bad back. Let me do this for you, Joel.”

Joel’s lips turn into a contemplative half-frown as he makes another thoughtful noise, and he then smiles a little. His fingers come up to touch your shoulder, tracing so gently along the skin that you get goosebumps immediately. 

“Alright, it’s a deal,” Joel asks gruffly, giving in. 

You have him instruct you on where he keeps the heating pad, insisting you know he has to have one around along with icy hot patches, Advil, the entire works for someone like him who complains about his back often enough. He grumbles at how correct your guess is, hating that it makes him feel old and weak in front of you, but you’re quick to remind him the only reason his back is hurting today is from ravaging you within an inch of your life last night. That seems to satiate him well enough, a proud grin slapped across his face at the recollection.

“Yeah, yeah, all in that closet outside the bathroom down here,” he tells you. “Y’better not go putin’ on any clothes while you’re away.”

You laugh, putting your hands on your hips as you stand up in front of him. “Got a naked nurse fantasy, or somethin’?”

Joel scoffs out a laugh, amused. “When it comes to you, darlin’, everything’s a fantasy f’me.”

“Smooth talker.” You give him a dramatic eye roll but feel your heart jump at his words. ”Okay, just sit back, I’ll be right back with everything,” you assure him, rushing to the closet and digging out all the supplies you think you’ll need. 

You smile to yourself at the old, worn down heating pad Joel has, something that looks like it’s been passed down and gotten nearly too much use, the old blue and pink plaid pattern faded and tattered. You make a mental note to buy him a new one at some point, knowing Joel’s practical brain won’t allow him to purchase something brand new since “this one works just fine”.

You catch Joel struggling to sit back and get comfortable, a grimace on his face, and you frown. You’ve never really seen Joel in pain until now, and it’s harder than you’d thought it would be. You feel a sinking feeling, just wishing you could take this pain away from him immediately. At the least, you’ll do everything you can to help him feel better.

“Hey, let me help. Let’s get the heating pad behind you,” you tell him, rushing over and trying to get everything set up. “Take these,” you say, barely looking as you try to hand Joel a few Advil while plugging in the heating pad at the same time. He grabs the pills from your hand and swallows them dry, and you glare at him before handing him the water you’d set on the side table for him. 

His eyes widen with guilt, and he takes several long gulps from the glass, trying to hide a groan that escapes with the effort of setting it back on the table.

“You’re in worse shape than I thought,” you say, frowning deeply, eyes full of concern.

“Stop your worryin’, meds and the heating pad’ll have me right as rain in no time, okay?” Joel assures you, letting you place the heating pad on the couch before easing him down onto it. He sighs deeply as he relaxes into the steadily growing warmth of it.

“There we go,” you say gently, giving him a smile.

“Now hold up your end of the deal, darlin’.” Joel’s eyes are expectant and mischievous - at the least you’re glad he seems to be feeling slightly better already. 

You simply smile, biting your tongue from giving him some kind of snarky comment and sit back down, returning yourself to his lap, sitting yourself between his legs and resting back into him. 

“All yours,” you say quietly, craning your neck back slightly to lean your head onto his shoulder. His lips gingerly touch the skin there, sucking right where your pulse comes through, and you moan, back arching slightly, but you’re careful to keep from putting too much weight on Joel’s hurting body right now. 

“Wanna be my little plaything so bad don’t you?” Joel murmurs as his hands come to your chest, groping gently at your breasts, testing the weight in his palms before he squeezes them again, running his thumbs over both of your nipples simultaneously. You squirm, thighs rubbing together as the sensation from your nipples seems to go straight to your clit, sending it throbbing for him already.

Joel is gentle and calculated with his moves now, lips soft as they ghost along your neck and shoulders, thumbs barely brushing your hardened pink buds. You whine over and over, already feeling like you could reach your high if he keeps this up.

“Open those legs f’me, sweetheart, Joel says, hands on your thighs, softly nudging them apart. You spread your thighs slightly, but Joel tuts. “Wider than that, darlin’, all the way, please,” Joel asks, and his use of ‘please’ catches you off guard, but you find you kind of like it for a change of pace. You slide your thighs over top of Joel’s, settling so that your legs are now spread open over top of his, landing on either side of his thighs. 

“Much better,” Joel coos in your ear before slowly sliding a hand down your front, tauntingly, teasingly making its way between your legs. You writhe, your breathing picking up when Joel slides a finger between your legs, groaning as the wet heat envelops it. 

“So soft n perfect f’me already,” he says shakily, finger traveling up your seam, sending you shuddering as it passes your clit. 

“Mmm,” you moan out. “Feels so good when you play with me.”

“I know it does, baby, this lil’ hole is just weepin’ for me, ain’t it?” Joel asks, lewdly playing with your wetness, sending squelching sounds throughout the otherwise quiet room. “Needs to be stuffed full of me so bad, poor baby.”

You nod eagerly, breath coming out more staccato now as Joel teases you. He pushes two fingers inside of you, sliding them in effortlessly and beginning to pump in and out. You moan breathlessly, squirming on his lap as your slickness coats his fingers and starts to run down onto his hand. Joel lets out a pleased hum near your ear and you whine in response. He increases the pace, grunting quietly with the effort as you try not to writhe too much on him for fear of hurting him.

“Fuckin’ Christ, baby, can’t take this. Need to fill you up,” Joel whines, his breath hot on your neck, movements becoming more erratic. “Feel so fuckin’ good, missed you too much, darlin’.”

You cry out as his fingers hook inside of you, a ‘come here’ motion that has your legs wobbling instantly as you shake on top of him. “M-missed you so much, Joel. Can’t get enough of you…” you breathe out, barely able to focus on anything but Joel’s thick fingers absolutely ruining you right now. 

“W-wait. But you can’t hurt yourself,” you add on, coming to your senses for a moment, worried about his back. “I’ll take care of you, I’ll let you use my mouth.”

Joel sighs, his fingers grazing your g-spot and you whimper. His free hand slides up your belly to your chest, cupping one of your tits, using his hand there to press your back into his chest a little more. 

“Can I just…” Joel says, a gruff and quiet voice coming out of him now. “Let me just put it in, I fuckin’ need this sweet little pussy wrapped around me.”

He pulls his fingers out so suddenly that you yelp quietly with the loss before he cups your needy cunt with his hand, pressing his palm down into you. You squirm a little, trying to get some friction from his rough skin on your clit. 

“Fuckin’ ruin myself to feel my cock in here, but y’know that already,” Joel says, grunting as he squeezes you tighter, your nipple between his fingers being pulled taut.

“Joel…” you cry out, “I’ll sit on it, make it all better for you, promise.” You turn your head to try and meet his eyeline, going in for a long, deep kiss that he meets eagerly. 

You lift your hips up, balancing yourself on either side of his thighs. “You won’t even have to move,” you assure him, “Just get to enjoy me.”

Joel’s hands wrap around your torso and his mouth presses to your back. “Always enjoy you, but I swear to God darlin’, I can barely move right now, got it? So no funny business here.”

“Right.” You nod a little too enthusiastically, further setting off Joel’s doubts that you won’t be able to just sit quietly on his cock. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“My good girl,” Joel murmurs into your skin, peppering it with kisses. “How’d I deserve this?”

“Hush now, and get your cock inside of me,” you retort, and you can practically feel the surprise radiating off of Joel from behind you at your demanding attitude.

He tuts quietly and blows out a breath. “Yes ma’am,” he says with a chuckle.

You reach in between your legs, where Joel’s hard length is only covered by his boxer briefs, and your fingers itch with need as you wrap your hand around the fabric hidden heat of him.

“Shit,” Joel hisses through his teeth at your touch, arching his hips up into it before groaning in pain.

“Shh, just relax, baby,” you tell him, stroking him several times before pulling the waistband down, letting his cock spring out - red and throbbing, dripping precum for you already and you salivate instantly at the beautiful sight. 

“C’mon, now, sit pretty on this cock f’me,” Joel says, patting his lap impatiently. His cock juts up, immediately pressing against your slick folds when you lower yourself slightly, and you bite back a moan, lip pulled between your teeth. You position yourself over top of his bulbous head, just letting it touch your entrance and swirl your hips, letting your warm arousal start soak his tip. 

Joel moans unashamedly right in your ear, hands now clenched around your hips, squeezing tightly as you tease him. You rub back and forth, gathering more of your slickness onto him, letting it drip down until you know he can barely take it anymore from his labored breathing and tensing muscles. 

“Not - n-ot fuckin’ nice to tease,” he grits out, barely able to speak through clenched teeth. 

“You’ll have to teach me a lesson when you’re feeling better.” You smirk, and sink down slowly so that you can feel each bit of him entering you. Your breathing hitches as you get more and more full, and you hear Joel let out a sigh of his own as your wet heat surrounds him.

Joel’s breathing comes out shaky as your hips press flush with his again, seating yourself completely on his cock. You never fail to be surprised at just how full he makes you - it makes you feel equally insane in the moments you have it and in the ones you don’t.

“Oh, darlin’... fuck,” Joel whines, and you grin wildly, loving the way you’re affecting him right now. You lean back slightly, relaxing onto his chest in pure bliss as Joel keeps you full, his cock throbbing inside your equally pulsating cunt. Joel’s head dips to your shoulder, resting there, and his stubble sends goosebumps across your skin.

“Feels nice, don’t it?” he asks, his voice continuing to shake. He’s trying to keep it together, and you’ve rarely had a chance to see Joel fall apart quite like this, and it’s absolutely beautiful. His body is trembling below you, breath uneven as it fans across your neck, and you swear you can feel every inch of his cock throbbing inside of you, so much more so now that you’re just still. 

“I-it’s hard to keep still,” you say, biting the inside of your lip. 

“I know, I know, me too,” Joel replies soothingly, his palm rubbing up and down your spread thigh. “Let’s just enjoy it, hm? Distract ourselves,” he suggests, trying to turn his attention to the TV. You nod a little, trying to shift slightly to get more comfortable, the movement jostling you just enough that Joel lets out a sharp hiss, and you suck in through your teeth in sync. 

“S-sorry,” you choke out, biting your lip again, harder this time.

“No you ain’t,” Joel snarks, and you both chuckle softly, little movements of your bodies following with it and you both still immediately, eyes widening. A moan threatens to pass your lips as you feel a build up of pressure inside of yourself from Joel’s cock pressing on your walls, and you’re desperate for movement, desperate for friction in your clit as it throbs. 

“Fuck…” Joel breathes, his hand trembling slightly as he continues rubbing your thigh. “You- you're so wet, darlin’, I-I can feel everythin’.”

Your arousal coats his cock, a seemingly endless slickness pouring onto his shaft, starting to want to leak out around him, and you’re only getting more turned on, more antsy to start moving and grinding your hips. 

“Just focus on the TV, lemme enjoy ya,” Joel urges, and you take a deep breath, centering yourself despite the only thing you can feel being Joel inside of you, rock hard and wanting. You manage to glue your eyes to the screen, the droning voices of sports broadcasters reaching your ears, but you can’t hear a word they’re saying. You decide to close your eyes, continuing to rest back on Joel. A small whimper escapes you after a few minutes of trying to ignore the pressure inside of you, but Joel’s hands are all over your body, only making you ache deeper for him, a place deeper than he’s even filling right now that you aren’t sure how to reach. Joel’s own breathing has sped up, and you can feel him, warm and now damp with sweat, a wall of muscle behind you.

“Baby… fuck…” Joel says, fully panting now, “Makin’ me crazy, can feel your little hole flutterin’ f’me honey….” Joel pants for a few more moments, unable to catch his breath completely. “Oh you’re too good, baby, not gonna last like this.”

“Please, I wanna feel you come like this. I’ll feel everything.” You urge him on, your hips absolutely screaming at you to move, to do something. Your hand reaches behind you to his cheek, cupping it and scraping your fingertips along his beard. He buries his head in your shoulder, turning his lips towards your neck.

“I- shit,” Joel groans out, sweat coating his forehead, and you feel his hips twitch underneath you so you double down, pressing your body down into his, trying to give him as little room to move as possible.

“Just like this. Don’t move,” you assure him. You feel him nod into your shoulder, and a whimper passes through his lips that you’ve never heard before. You feel yourself clench around his length at the power trip you’re on, and Joel’s sounds become louder as you cunt tries to milk the orgasm out of him. Your own quiet moans intermix with his and you feel your walls squeeze him, a reminder of just how god damned full you are. 

“You’re so big, feels so fucking good…” you murmur, letting your fingertips trail along your leg. You snake a hand between your thighs, letting your finger just rest on your clit, the pressure heavenly in its aching state. You squirm enough that Joel notices, and his hands fly to your hips in a death grip. 

“Stop movin’, honey, fuck, please,” Joel begs, his panting, growling breaths stuttering out against your shoulders. 

“I can’t… it’s too much,” you whimper, squirming a little more. You’re close too, you can feel it, the overstimulation of Joel’s cock just pressing in the same devastatingly perfect spots inside of you is starting to get to you, a steady build of pleasure swirling in your stomach. 

“Come for me, Joel,” you whisper with a heady voice, turning your neck as much as you can to see his face. 

He lets out a soft whimper that trails off into a little moan, and you feel it all - his hips bucking up slightly into you, trying to press deeper even though there’s no more room left to give, his warm ropes of cum spilling into you, coating you, marking you as his. 

“Jesus,” you whisper, feeling your cunt clench around him as it tries to pull out everything he’s got. Joel breathes heavily against your back before flopping his head back with a satisfied sigh. You follow suit, resting back against him in exhaustion, and Joel winces and lets out a yelp. 

“My back, baby, careful,” he cries out with a grunt, and you sit forward instantly. 

“Shit, s-sorry.” You begin to lift your hips, Joel’s cock wet and heavy as it slides out of you, leaving you so much more empty than you’ve ever felt before. You could’ve lived just like that, full of him, held by him, for the rest of your days. 

“‘M sorry, honey, should’ve been able to…” Joel starts, his cheeks flushed and forehead shining still, but you shush him.

“That was perfect,” you say, smiling brightly to reassure him. You sit next to Joel on the couch, letting one of your arms drape around his torso. 

“Alright, that’s all you get today. Strictly resting the back from here on out, okay?” you say more sternly, rubbing his chest. 

“Oh, yes ma’am,” Joel chuckles, and pauses for a beat, deep in thought. “Look at you, honey. Can’t even believe sometimes this is the same girl I met in June. Bossin’ me around, now.” Joel’s eyes flash mischievously at you. 

“N-no, I just… I want you to feel good - feel better. Not bossing…” you stammer out, the sudden, unconventional compliment from him sending your mind scrambling and face going pink. You shrink down onto the couch slightly, feeling exposed.

“See she’s still in there,” Joel chuckles as you nervously fall apart in front of him, and you give him a shy smile reminiscent of the ones you had when you two first met. “‘S’okay, just givin’ you a hard time. I’ll be a good patient now.” Joel pinches your cheek quickly before letting out a long sigh, leaning back further into the couch and wincing slightly.

You spend the rest of the morning and afternoon coercing Joel into letting you take care of him, and by the evening, he’s complete putty in your hands. He’s fully accepted your care at this point - letting you remind him when to take the heating pad off again without any grumbling, throwing more Advil his way, reminding him to walk around every so often to keep the muscles moving. By the evening, when you offer to run out to pick up dinner for you two, Joel immediately protests with an uncharacteristic whine, swinging an arm around you to hold you down onto the couch.

“What if we jus’ ordered in, hm? Then y’don’t have to leave me,” he asks you, brown eyes going into full begging mode. Joel Miller giving you puppy dog eyes might just be your new favorite thing, you’ve decided, as you smile widely at the sight.

“Oh, you can’t look at me like that, then I’ll never leave,” you reply, tilting your head as you study this completely new expression on Joel’s face.

“That’s kinda the idea, sweetheart,” Joel says, smirking a little now, letting up on the absolutely soul crushing look he was giving you. 

“Well it’s working,” you snip teasingly. “I’ll stay with you then, won’t leave for even a minute.”

“Good,” Joel sighs in relief and relaxes back onto the couch, a satisfied grin on his face.

Joel hardly lets go of you the entire night, arms wrapping around you in any way he can, always pulling you back into him. Even while you’re sleeping, you stir several times when he presses you close again, the heat of his broad chest radiating into your back. You realize that he’s still awake, a restless energy radiating off of him. Your eyes flutter open and you see his eyes cast down, studying you as you turn your head to look up at him.

“What is it?” you whisper hoarsely. “Your back?”

“No, no, that’s feelin’ much better. Jus’ lookin’, go back to sleep now, darlin’,” he replies, smoothing a hand down the side of your head. You raise an eyebrow but feel too half asleep still to pay him much mind or find a retort to tease him with. Instead, you find yourself turning in his arms to face him, burying your head in his chest, warm and steadily moving with his breaths. His dusting of salt and pepper hair tickles your skin just slightly, not enough to bother you, just enough to remind you exactly who you’re close to right now. 

You suddenly feel restless as well despite your heavy eyes and the late hour, the image of the way Joel was just looking at you burned into your mind. Your heart lurches a little and peek your eyes open, yearning to catch him again as you tilt your head up to find his eyes meet you again in the dark of the room. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” you mumble accusingly from his chest. 

You feel Joel shrug a little bit around you. “Jus’ cant right this minute. Feelin’ like… I could lose you.”

“Lose me… wh-“ you stutter, trying to blink the sleep out of your eyes a few more times. “No, you aren’t. You won’t."

“Did it once,” Joel says solemnly.

“You never really lost me, though.”

Joel remains silent, his brow furrowed slightly, and you can see the deep set lines on his forehead through the little slivers of moonlight streaming in through the curtains. 

“You know that, right?” you ask, and Joel’s continued silence answers it for you before he gives a small shake of his head. 

“I was always yours… I knew I’d never get over it, even if I had moved on, I couldn’t move on from what you left me with, if that makes sense.”

“Suppose it does,” Joel says quietly.

“You’ve had…” you swallow, trying to push back tears that seem hellbent on escaping from your eyes. “A profound effect on me, Joel.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Joel responds, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Never would have moved on, either. Never…” he stumbles on the last few works, his mouth trying to work in as many kisses as he can on your hairline. 

“So we’re really doing this, right Joel? We’re… us again?” you ask, seeming like the answer is already sitting in this conversation you’d just had, but needing to hear it anyways.

“As long as it’s what you’re wantin’, sweetheart. I was all in last night… still am. Been all in since you let me into your life again. This ain’t just a one time lapse in judgment or somethin’, if that’s what you’re worried about. This is the whole damn thing for me.”

You swallow heavily, a knot stuck in your throat at Joel’s words. “You are, too,” you whisper hoarsely, burying your head into his chest again. “The whole damn thing.”

“God…” Joel whispers, his voice cracking underneath the hoarseness of it. “Thank you,” he adds on in a murmur, and you’re not sure who he’s even thanking at this point, but you can just feel the relief sink into his body as he relaxes, melting into you. 

After a while of laying in a comfortable silence, you finally start to doze off again, but Joel’s hand moves up your back to the back of your head, jostling you awake slightly. He’s sending loving strokes along your hair, his touch the most tender you’ve ever felt it somehow. It’s no softer physically than other ways he’s touched you, but the intention behind it shines through, flowing out of his fingertips and warming your skin. You can sense the thickness in the air, the way he’s looking at you with the care of still unspoken words, and you finally get the courage to blink sleepily up at him.

“Sweet girl…” he whispers, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, but his eyes are too entranced, mind too busy with his thoughts of you to fully commit to it. You give him a bright, closed lip smile, feeling the corners of your eyes crinkle as you sigh into the way he’s still delicately sliding his hand along your hair. 

He murmurs your name like a prayer on his lips and you know the next words out of his mouth, but you still buzz, the anticipation of watching his lips part in what feels like slow motion as you await the inevitable, world changing sounds that will fall from them. 

“I love you.” 

The words reach your ears in a kind of haze, as if they’re far away, quiet, and taking their sweet time to get to you. Your head suddenly spins, not realizing how deeply you’d needed to hear those words uttered from Joel’s tongue, and for how long. You’d known for months now you were madly, deeply, irrationally, infuriatingly in love with Joel Miller. It made you want to pull your own hair out some days, and others made you want to crawl as close as you could possibly get to him, to mold you into the same person, share the same skin. It was a sickening, panicked love - one you knew you could never live without unless you wanted a whole part of yourself to be missing. Rough but sweet, calloused but soft, all of the things that were you and Joel separately and you and Joel together. It hurt so badly that it started to feel good, to know you were loved by Joel. 

“I -” you mumble, the surprising sting of tears behind your eyes instantly brimming and threatening to fall. You blink quickly and suck in your breath, an added pressure to a body that already feels close to bursting with the whirlwind of emotions you feel right now.

“I love you.”

Joel lets your return of his sentiment sink in for several quiet moments, simply him breathing heavily with his forehead pressed against yours, eyes closed. 

“I-I’m not always good with sayin’ things how I need them to come out, so… c-can I show you?” Joel says, voice low as he shifts his body to turn so he’s completely facing you. 

“Show me?” Your heart picks up at his movement, the change in his tone, the tense air that surrounds the two of you. 

“How much… I love you.” He pulls you flush, your warmth mingling with his, your bodies close to practically becoming the same person. 

“J-joel…” you gasp out, feeling your lungs constrict and heart ready to burst out of your chest. He’s hard and soft everywhere, his muscles holding you tightly but lovingly - you’re so safe here, so beloved. His cock aches against you already, nothing separating the two of you since you’d both fallen asleep naked, the length of him pressing against your thigh. 

“Can I?” he asks again, not impatiently, but simply that he’s desperate to give this to you, for you to know what he’s feeling. 

“Yes,” you breathe out, nodding. “Show me.”

“So much… so much…” Joel’s words trail into a whisper as his lips meet yours, passionate but gentle, mouth immediately opening into yours. Long, sensual kisses as his tongue begs for entry and you permit it, nearly gasping at the way he feels right now - a tense control over himself, wanting to show you everything sweet he has in there, that his roughness can be loving, too. You can barely breathe, moaning into his mouth as your hips grind into nothing, seeking out more of him.

Your bodies meld together at once, his cock sliding between your legs as you both quickly solve the puzzle of the best way to interlock your bodies together, barely having to put any thought into it. It’s so natural with Joel, it always has been. Your hand slides under his neck and around to his back, leg thrown over his hip as he lays on his side, pulling you in closer. 

He teases you only a few times, dragging his hard length through your slit with a few lazy thrusts of his hips to gather up your arousal. At your whimpering noises he pulls his mouth off of yours to gaze at you with a heady stare.

“Lemme look at you,” Joel says, his hand coming up cup your cheek, a sense of home right in his fingertips. You lean yourself into it, sighing as you look into the familiar sight of his eyes, pupils blown out with need, but there’s a delicacy there, a desire beyond his usual hunger. His fingers curl around the back of your head as they gently grasp your hair into his hand. His eyes search your face, bouncing around your features, and you’re unsure of what he’s looking for, what he’s thinking. 

“Never looked more beautiful, baby,” he marvels, his voice a hoarse whisper as he slowly pulls his hips back and then pushes them forward, letting the head of his cock sit at your entrance for a moment before tentatively pushing in further. You gasp, clutching onto his back and digging your nails in at the slow, gorgeous stretch of him moving into you. You both breathe out shakily, a long sigh of relief at feeling the other’s body fitting so perfectly together. 

Joel’s lips find yours again with slow, tender kisses as he starts to move his hips. Your entire body shudders at the unhurried movements of his cock dragging in and out of you, slow and messy. His lips lose some of their accuracy now too, catching the corners of your mouth, inching down to your jawline and neck as he buries himself in you. You’re both letting every sound you need leave your lips, little moans and whimpers filling the room accompanied by the noises your bodies are creating together as you get impossibly more wet, coating him, leaking around him and down onto both of your thighs. 

“Jesus, Joel,” you whine, barely able to take just how heavenly it feels to be wholly his in this moment. 

Your eyes flutter as your pussy clenches around him, the gentle thrusts making you absolutely wild. Joel was right - you can feel every morsel of his love like this - the way he’s pouring everything he has into you now. 

“I’ll give y’everything, angel, make you so happy if you let me, oh f-fuck,” Joel stutters out, splaying his hand out on your lower back to help press you closer with each inward push he makes into your pussy. “Make you all mine, always, if y’let me, if y’want me to…” Joel sounds like he could nearly start to cry with the intensity of the moment, caught up in the way he’s expressing his emotions to you. 

“Always, always… want you, Joel,” you whisper back as you pant with need, starting to feel a warm heat coiling in your core. “Forever,” you say without a care, not bothering to think about the heavy meaning of the word, knowing you mean it well past the heat of the moment you’re in right now. Knowing you’d say it to Joel again and again in the light of day, the heat of the night, and any time in between. 

“Forever, angel.”

Joel’s thrusts gain speed, not much, but enough that both of you are edging closer to a climax by the second, the both of you panting promises to each other through all of the moans and whimpers. You’re both drenched in sweat, sloppy and wet all over, your bodies not offering an inch of space from the other as your lips clash over and over, barely even recognizing where any of your movements together begin and end. It’s pure perfection - beyond anything Joel has shown you before, reserved and only possible in a moment like this one. 

Everywhere Joel presses inside of you starts to ignite, your entire body becoming desperately taut as you feel a warmth tingling throughout you, spreading from where Joel is hitting so perfectly. 

“I’m gonna come, Joel, make me come, j-just like that,” you manage to say, your brain starting to go blank with thoughts of only Joel, only this pleasure. 

“Oh, honey, so good, lemme feel you,” Joel encourages you, keeping the exact pace he was on to get you over the edge. 

You cry out, long moans as everything snaps suddenly, and Joel’s arms wrap tightly around you, shielding you and pressing you into his chest as you shudder, your entire body overtaken by this pleasure. 

“Good girl, good girl, good girl,” Joel chants, pressing himself as deep as he can repeatedly, helping you ride out your high. He watches your face intently, the way your eyes are screwed shut and mouth agape, gasping and moaning for him. His hand grips tightly around your face, dwarfing it underneath his long, thick fingers. “Love my good girl.”

His words send you whimpering in ecstasy as you feel seemingly never ending waves of your climax hitting you, your cunt fluttering and squeezing Joel’s cock over and over. Joel gasps and you can feel his body shaking against yours, urged on by the way yours is responding to him. 

“Gonna come too… squeezin’ me so good like that…” Joel says, panting harder now. “Let me fill you up, get you full of me, baby.” Joel rambles on, his body purely concentrated on climaxing as he sloppily ruts his hips into you a few more times before burying himself to the hilt with a long grunt. 

“Fill me up,” you whine as you feel him spilling into you, nearly wanting to come again at how good it feels to have him give himself to you like this. A final groan and then Joel collapses, his body rolling further into yours and you sigh out a sound of pure contentment, letting yourself press back into Joel. He kisses your face, peppering you with languid, lazy presses of his lips, and you can feel his mind is scrambled, elsewhere right now.

“D’you see? What you do to me?” he asks quietly in between kisses.

You nod into him. “Same as what you do to me.”

He gives an exhausted chuckle and you can feel the smile tug on his lips as they sit against your skin. 

“I found your note,” you blurt out, unsure of where the thought even came from so suddenly. You feel Joel stiffen and then open your eyes to see the flash of recognition on Joel’s face and he softens even further.

“‘M glad you did,” he replies, his hand starting to stroke along your back. You feel goosebumps tickle you at his touch even with your skin still blazing and damp from the way he’d just fucked you. “Hate that y’read it at such a bad time, but I swear, meant every word of it.”

“I know you did. It… made me realize…” you say, trailing off into your own thoughts, remembering the mixed emotions of the day you’d read his words scrawled out for you, seeing on paper for the first time that he loves you.

“What, hm? Realize what?” he presses you, quiet and soft.

“It’ll always be you, Joel.”

He’d hardly let you out of his sight the entire week other than work, bringing you back home with him every night, and dropping you off to work in the morning. A man possessed, or re-possessed, you supposed, his hands finding you every chance they got - a commanding hand on your thigh the minute you got in his car, his grip tight around your waist the second the front door closed behind the two of you, lips finding any part of your skin he could see. 

He was frenzied yet controlled, somehow always a paradox of some sort with Joel. His fear of experiencing the loss he’d felt when you two were apart was too much for him to bear, too painful to even consider possible again, so he kept pulling you close, “I love you”’s whispered in the most mundane of moments - you’d heard it countless times over the last week, always happy to return the words. 

Now that you’d both said it, you were unstoppable. I love you I love you I love you. You think the words whenever you see him, a constant loop playing in the background of your mind. You speak the words when he catches your eye too long, falling like a mantra from your lips over and over, making sure he understands the truth of it all. You’re both desperately trying to make sure the other knows the depth of your obsession, your love, for each other.

You find yourself lost in your thoughts as you sit in the shade provided by the house’s shadow in the mid morning sun, feet tucked up under you on one of Joel’s cushy outdoor chairs. After practically keeping you at his house the entire week, today Joel insisted on mowing the lawn despite him complaining about his bad back the rest of the entire week. You’d done your best to keep him from overexerting himself, but if you’ve learned anything at all about Joel Miller, he’ll always be a stubborn man with a mind of his own. 

You clutch the most recent book on your to-be-read list in your lap, your other hand on a warm mug of coffee. Joel’s made another pot of it, just because you yawned one too many times, insisting that you needed more caffeine if you were going to keep up with the plans he had for you later. You take a long sip, savoring the flavor, the coffee tasting better only because the man you love made it for you. You peer up from your book, the loud buzzing of the lawn mower breaking through your concentration again, and you’re met with a sight you’d gladly let steal your attention any day.

Joel’s white shirt is soaking through with sweat, an unseasonably warm autumn day that had prompted Joel to do yard work in the first place. He pauses mowing the lawn to lift his shirt up, wiping the gathering perspiration from his forehead quickly, and as he grips the lawn mower again, he catches you watching him. His face instantly lights up, a sweet little smile that he only shares with you, like a secret language you’re learning to read better each day. When his expression suddenly turns a bit more devious, he makes sure to wipe his face off once more for good measure, giving you a free show of his glistening torso. His eyes taunt you after, brows raised expectantly for a few moments, and you return the gesture with your own brows, letting Joel know exactly how you feel about what you’re seeing. 

Something about the whole scene feels familiar, that odd sense of déjà vu creeping up on you and making the hairs on your neck stand up a little bit despite the heat in the air. You try to put your finger on it, and it’s not until your roaming gaze lingers across the fence, catching on the large oak tree in your parents back yard that it strikes you. 

The way you used to lay right there and watch Joel do the exact thing you are right now, and relishing in the sight all the same. Trying to be inconspicuous, thinking he’d never notice the neighbor girl trying to catch a glimpse as he sweat and glistened under the hot sun. You’d let your mind wander as you watched him, questioning what things would be like if you’d ever get the courage to speak to him, if he’d ever even give you the time of day. Oh, how wrong you’d been, how completely wrong to think Joel couldn’t look at you that way. 

You can’t help but marvel a bit at the memories, seeing where you are now, across that fence and having Joel go so far as to want you to watch him so blatantly now. Some things never change, but you realize that you surely have. You hardly recognize the girl you were back in June - so unsure of herself, wondering what she could be worth to anyone, let alone a man like Joel. But you now realized that while you’re certainly intent on keeping Joel around for… well, the rest of your life, at the least he’s left you with so much to carry on inside of yourself.

Joel catches your daydream-like expression as he finishes his mowing and approaches you. You now get a closer look at just how god damned handsome he is, and you feel lucky all over again, tears coming to your eyes unexpectedly. It nearly feels like a dream - the way the sun lights him up from behind, his broad form and muscles shining so delightfully, so pleasing to the eye. The way his face, every feature loved by you in its own special way, has already gone softer at seeing the tears in your eyes as he walks towards you. 

Everything about this little moment in time feels indescribable to you, nostalgia and tender heartedness and love overflowing inside of you. You grasp onto your current reality and hold on tight, wanting to live inside this day over and over if you can, wanting this one truth to stay feeling perfectly clear to you - you’re simply… happy. 

taglist: @paleidiot@mumma-moonchild@soph55 @chicville03@joelsversion@feliciab1990@fellinfromthetop@gossipgirl-03@sarap-77@blueseastorm @akah565​@pattwtf @scarletthefierce

i'm so sorry if ur tag doesn't work, i really don't understand why tumblr does this ><

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

[demonshauntingthedoves]

Chapter 1

Perfedious : A disloyal and faithless person.

Pairing : Yandere!Seokjin x female reader (Mirae)

Summary : You had dreamt of a beautiful man who held a diamond ring in his hand for you and the dream had come true when you saw Seokjin holding the same diamond ring and he slipped it on - your sister's finger - not yours. Sometimes what you want happens in the worst way possible.

Warnings : Heavy Angst, Family Problems, Age gap, Dilf, Dub-Con, Infidelity, Affair, Toxic Behaviour, Eventual Yandere, Eventual Smut, Just wait for Seokjin's dark Pov [hehehe].

WordCount : 4200+

The bus engine roars to life and so does your heart, anticipating to be free from the weight it holds. As the vehicle pulls away from the curb, you sank deeper into your sit. You closed your eyes and drew out a sigh- surrendering and letting the bus drag you away from the sins you ploughed behind. Your weary eyes were fixated on the window, watching the cityscape fade away gradually. Slowly the streets grew smaller and blurrier.

You glimpsed at your reflection in the windowpane- hollow eyes tiredly fluttering. You saw the reminder of your pain decorating the red rims of your swollen eyes and that was enough to make your tears well up again. You clasped your lashes shut, guilty tears running down your pale cheeks.

In times when everything got too much. Too unbearable.

You'd done one and only one thing and that was runaway.

You'd go away.

Far away from home.

---------------

Harsh remarks, biting sarcasm, belittling words, that was all your mother had for you. Maybe that was what came as second nature to all mothers. They often nagged and ranted to their children.You'd even asked your friend Ari, if her mother also shouted at her all the time.

"Yeah, she scolds me but she always hugs me and caresses me after that." You ten year old friend had told you.

But your mother never did the latter part. She'd just leave you all sad and sobbing alone.

No loving words, no soft caress and no motherly warmth. You never got that. Atleast not after your father left home untold. It was after that day, her resentment towards you and your sister grew like a dark creeper. You'd never known the reason until one day you did.

"Your father left me because I couldn't give him a son!! There was no other reason for him to leave!!" She had spat irrationally on your faces.

It had hurt a lot at the sprouting age of twelve when she called you and your sister a liability. Minsu was older by eight years. Despite getting the same harsh treatment as you, you'd always thought she was at least lucky to have spent more years in the presence of father when everything was well. Unlike you who got no parental love and care.

Your mother had nothing to give you except her indifference.

No love.

No warmth.

And at some point, you stopped craving and begging for it as a child.

As the irritable years went by, it became more and more unnerving. And you no longer wanted to live like a quiet and depressed child, so you rebelled. You'd throw back comments and on queue the whole house would fill with shouts and screams. You were a total of three ladies in the house but the volume of noises that were heard outside were ten folds.

Your mother didn't wavered by your teenage rebellion. She just got more chances to cause drama. Reasonless arguing and condescending words.

Even public humiliation, the one time she came to meet your homeroom teacher. Nothing was worse when Miss.Choi had awkwardly asked you if she was your stepmother because indeed she treated you like one.

It became so exhausting that you gave up on fights and found ways to escape.

You stayed extras in school, went for night camps and trips, you just ran away from home.

This kept you away from your mother's temper tantrums for days.

You'd sleep more peacefully under the open starry sky than the roof of your own home.

-----------------

You were seventeen, when you had quite fortunately stumbled into this good-looking young man.

That time your nose had almost flared in anger looking at the feets of the stranger who had made you fall down until you looked up to see a handsome face.

That was the very first time you saw Seokjin.

Your face had changed from a dark shade of red to light shade of pink as you awed beautiful man.You were literally ogling at him from your tumbled down position.He was in his creaseless suit and dress pants.You had pretended to not notice the buckle of your knees when you took in his appearance.

How could a person be so handsome?

Your next camping trip was filled with whispers and giggles about the handsome man you had encountered and quite obviously got a little crush on. Your friend Ari had teased you all along the trip.She'd winked and nudged you with mischievous eyes and playful smile whenever you both shared a task and left you flustered.

It was under the canvas tents, that Ari had filled your head with intriguing and exciting scenarios about the man while chattering like a gleeful cat who was happy for her best friend to find a man for herself. Though it was far from the truth.

That day a tender symphony had played faintly in your heart.

That night, you had dreamt about him out of your impending fascination and admiration. 'His broad back; adorned in a white tuxedo; facing you. And then he turned back slowly- you stared at his beutific face, then his styled hair, then his pillowy lips and then his pretty eyes which fluttered up to look at you. You saw the caves filled with gems and diamonds in his sparkling eyes. And then you saw the velvet box in his hand which extended towards you.The box opened to reveal a precious diamond ring glazing so brightly that you shut your eyes from its intensity.'

Only to open your eyes and see Ari's groggy face the next morning.

Just the reminder of the fantasy brought a blushing hue on your face and fluttery feeling in your stomach. When you told Ari, she had squealed so loud in the bus and grinned at you.

"Your eyes are literally shining since you saw him, you know that." Ari told you in excitement.

"In all honesty, we should really go find him and then why not give it a try!!" Ari suggested.

And you shushed her because the single thought of meeting him again gave you tingles everywhere.

You had seen many girls with teeny tiny crushes but never thought you'd be one.

But again

You knew you were being stupid to dream about a man who was probably twice your age.

But again

It wouldn't hurt to dream.

-------------------

In the drapes of spring blossom, your sister got married.

As the vows and kisses were exchanged beneath the flower beds, your heart too, like the petals, fell to the ground.

The diamond in her ring finger shined just like the coat of tears welling up in your eyes.

Happy tears and sad tears.

You feigned the biggest smile till your cheeks hurt.

You had never thought you'd be so upset from inside at your beloved sister's wedding but you couldn't help it.

It was worth a grimace how familiar her groom looked to the man in your dreams.

Because indeed it was him.

Kim Seokjin

What a laughable coincidence it was!

Everything had happened so abruptly.

On the day you returned from your trip, you saw Seokjin for the second time.

But the foolish grin on your face was wiped away the moment you saw him sitting on your couch with your sister.

Their hands were intertwined like lovers.

And you were more surprised to see your mother's pleased face, who soon after declared they could wed in the coming week. The little celebration was carried on with clinks of wine glasses and plates of special dishes.

And you sat there dumbfounded and baffled by the sudden decision.

Minsu hadn't said a single thing about this.

Your sad face never went unnoticed by her and she explained to you with a calm sigh,

" I know Rae, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you but I was unaware that he liked me just as much I liked him."

"And then he proposed to me all of a sudden and I didn't feel like there was a single reason to say no."

And then she smiled bashfully like a damsel.

"Fate is a wondrous thing, Rae. I'm so grateful to the scriptor above wrote him in my fate."

Damn the scriptor.

You stomach had churned when you asked her,

"Do you love him?"

She looked at your glassy eyes.

"Do you think I'll marry a man I don't love?"

"Ofcourse I love him. Who wouldn't?" You felt your breath sink from her last sentence. You had seen the love and sincerity in her eyes.

Then her gaze shifted with concern to you and she squeezed your shoulder lightly.

"You are happy, right?" She asked you.

Your eyes darted away. You couldn't do this to her. You would not crush over her man. You should not.

You pulled her in a tight hug and hid your face as hopeless tears ran down your cheeks. You didn't know why you were feeling this myriad of emotions all of a sudden.

You couldn't place your finger on what you were feeling. There were so many things at once.

"Ofcourse I'm happy for you. J-just don't forget about me. Don't leave me alone with that omen." You heard her chuckle as she patted your hair.

"I will never leave you Rae, I promise."

------------------

And that was how you stood beside her as her maid of honour. You stole a few glances at Seokjin who was so blissfully unaware about the way your heart and stomach felt tingles by looking at him.

You were so shameless to stare at him with intent just to see if he was really there and you weren't dreaming again.

You're not gonna lie but Seokjin looked so exquisite in his attire. So so beautiful that you almost got lost in watching him smile.

Seokjin wanted to have a small and uncrowded ceremony. He booked a hotel which was decorated like paradise. Interior graced with soft looking pink and white roses. And the garden was filled with cherry blossoms.

It was a wedding everyone dreamt of.

Under the trees, you sat with a pout and looked at the couple who were busy posing and capturing the memories of their wedding in the garden. Post wedding shoot.

Seokjin and Minsu,

They looked good together.

Now that you consider thinking, you were actually being childish and stupid to even have thought that you held any chance with him.

It was a stupid crush.

Little doration and little fascination, that was it all.

And it was plain stupid and dumb, to put so much strain and stress to your mind with whatever you were feeling.

Not only you but anyone would wish to have a man like him.

That's it.

One thing you knew was Minsu was dear to you and you'd do anything for.

So what you had to do now was let go of this stupid crush and the intrusive thoughts that came with it.

He was your brother in law now.

Avoid it or not.

And yet again you couldn't control the loud beating of your heart as he walked over to where you sat. Behind him, Minsu was still posing in her wedding gown.

You inhaled his expensive rosewood perfume as he sat down beside you.

Thank God your ears were covered by your hair or else he would have seen how red and hot they had turned.

"So, did you enjoy the wedding, Mirae?" He tried to strike a conversation with you.

You tried not to shy away from his gaze even if you were squealing inside just by hearing your name roll down his tongue.

" I-I did, it was gorgeous with all the flowers." You smiled and stared at the rose in his hand.

"And the food?"

" I didn't get to try the buffet yet because mother warned me to not eat before you both. I need to accompany you both."

Your voice grew smaller at the end thinking you spoke more than you needed to.

You heard his melodious chuckles looking at your frowning face.

"You don't need to worry about it, you can just go and have the food. Minsu had specially selected your favourite dishes."

Your eyes brightened at that and you looked up at him only to see him fondly smiling at you. He looked so princely. Your hands unintentionally squeezed the fabric of your baby pink dress.

You shook your head,

"No, I'll better wait for you both. And I guess Minsu's shoot is about to end."

You both looked at Minsu who was flaunting in her white gown ahead. Dangling a large bouquet of roses in her hand.

In your periphery, you saw him fiddling with a rose in his hand. He might have used it for the photoshoot.

You flinched when a blossom fell on you and he laughed at you. Your cheeks would have been dusted red by now.

"Why don't we go on a walk near the river until she gets back?"

He gestured towards the river at the other end of the garden. You gave a tiny nod and walked side by side.

The ceremony had ended by late noon and now the sun was dipping down the river. You had to crane your neck up just to look at his side face.

" I didn't get to ask this before but are you happy for your sister? "

You were stunned for a moment but put up a smile and replied,

"Yes, why would I not be? You both love each other and that's enough for me to be happy for her"

That's enough for me to let my chance go.

You were already getting tired to answer this same question again and again. Sick of convincing yourself that you were, happy.

You gulped when he observed your face for a few seconds, his eyes reflecting the golden sunset behind you and then he nodded.

Peering into his bourbon eyes was making your breath uneven. He was so so handsome, you had never witnessed a man like him. It was so hard for you to conceal the velvet fondness in your eyes.

You tried not to stare.

You tried not to show.

You were about to turn your face away to stare at the river on other side and also to hide your reddened face. But he tucked your elbow lightly,

"Wait"

His face was merely away from yours as he leaned down with furrowed brows. Your heart almost cried happily at his soft touch.

The symphony had come back and played in your heart again. Pellucid.

His leaned closer and his sweet wine-tinged breath hit you. Your legs were shaking under your frock. You were being skittish. If not for the light grasp he had on your hand, you would have staggered back and fell in the open river. Because your legs were out of control.

Like your heart.

Like your breath.

Like the ruby blood rushing to your full cheeks.

What were you feeling?

And what was he doing?

He plucked something from your lash and held the tiny piece of petal that had stuck in your lashes unknowingly.

"Uh, I saw this. It would have gone in your eye so I removed it."

He said simply as if he didnt just wrench your breath away and backed away.

You swiftly turned around to look at the shining ripples of water. Your eyes darted everywhere but at him.

You gasped when you saw something on the ground and crouched to pick it up.

Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows and leaned to look at the little leaf flat against your little palm, as you showed it to him.

A four-leaf clover

"You know it's so rare to find. Only the luckiest ones get the chance."

He was amused by hearing that and asked,

"So does it have more speciality?"

You nodded hurried and told him,

" Yes it does! The first three leaves are for hope, faith and love. And the fourth one which is rare to exist brings luck."

"Hmm..So aren't you the lucky one?"

You wanted to laugh and tell him that you were anything but.

It was ironic

To find a four clover on one your unluckiest days, if you put it out like that.

You grinned at him to hide your grimace and shrugged,

" I hope so I am."

" Ofcourse you are, now you got a brother-in-law at your side."

He said playfully and proudly.

Your insides winced at the mention of that awful term, you were already annoyed with that claim.

"But honestly, I will always love and protect Minsu, and hopefully take care of you too. I never thought I'd have such a little sister in law." He babbled his confession.

You had got so caught up with that 'take care of you too' that you didn't hear what he said next.

"I know how you two have been close and dealt with-with your mother, but I promise that- from now on I'll keep your sister happy."

You were melting at his words, at his need to constantly reassure you. That he found you important enough to assure it to. He was making you feel like the bigger person by saying those sugary words. And no one had ever taken that effort.

He even offered you the small pink rose in his hand to seal his promise.

And you took it with dreamy eyes, which you were sure won't get any sleep tonight.

--------------

The bus screeched to a halt. You stepped down clumsily, clutching your bag. The bus drove off and you spun to walk forward as strides of your heels hit the cobblestoned lane of the small town.

The memories of your childhood swirled around you, winding through the streets like fleeting chuckles. Lollipops. Paper windmills. Little balloons. Your father.

This was his hometown.

The breeze caressed your face as if reassuring you that everything will be alright. You reached the designated home and knocked on the wooden door, only to be greeted by your Grandma's mushy face which bloomed with a welcoming smile.

The haven of herbs and medicines greet you next. Your grandma was a traditional therapist. She was known around for her herbal therapy. Everyone came to her 'Healing Home' for cure.

And maybe you did too. You came here for a cure. To seek her healing water which would wash you off your sins. To seek a balm to treat the wounds of remorse.

And to seek a refugee to coop up your pathetic broken self in.

It came easy for you to conceal what's inside you- your feelings. Conceal. Hide. Obscure them. That was what you had done all your life.

So just like your feelings, you wanted to hide yourself to. Anywhere. Away from prying eyes. Distant the whispers of blame and shame in your head. Detach yourself from his lingering scent.

You wanted to hide away and curl and cry and sought and mend yourself. And nothing was better than your grandmother's mending shelter.

She offered you tea. Caramel evenings were spend with honey teas and baked cinnamon rolls. You talked to her and told her how you wanted to take a break away from the city. You lied to her that office work was stressing and making you sick. You needed time away from all that and find peace.

Away from home.

Away from him.

Next I Main Masterlist

A/N : This chapter is pretty much about female mc and how she starts to like Seokjin.The seed is just sown. NGL it was way to angsty. Seokjin is good and kind in this and will be in further chapters until the facade slips.

Hope you all like this. Also comment if you wanna get added in the tag list.

@themochiverse

[zablife]

Drinks with Polly in the Parlor

Requested by @notyour-valentine for my 2K celebration An Evening at Arrow House. Warning: This is a dark fic 💀

"Would you care for a glass of champagne, Aunt Polly?" you asked sweetly. You wanted to impress your husband's aunt with your hospitality, but you needed a glass of liquid courage yourself after being left alone with the imposing Shelby matriarch. The silence which had already grown between you was terrifying and made you feel like a failure.

She turned from the mirror where she was checking her crimson lipstick, one perfectly manicured eyebrow arched in your direction as she replied coldly, "Champagne is for celebrations, my dear. I'm afraid a toast seems woefully late considering your nuptials took place weeks ago. Wouldn't you agree?"

You could only blink in shock. It was true you and Tommy had eloped without a single family member present to witness your vows, but he assured you it was the done thing. This was his third marriage after all and you agreed a lavish affair would be inappropriate, especially given the fact that he divorced his second wife less than a year ago. Surely Polly understood all this? Then again, the withering glance she gave, proved otherwise.

"I'm sorry if we've offended you..." you began.

Polly waved off your apology before you could finish, crossing to the bar to pour her own drink. Like Tommy she preferred Irish whisky, neat and she sipped it slowly as she looked you up and down carefully. A small smile began to form on her lips as she noticed the abundance of diamonds caressing your delicate neck.

"It's not you or I who should be apologizing. My nephew can be a careless man," she hummed, smile quickly fading as she stared at her own reflection once more, seeing something which obviously displeased her. "I always thought he favored his mother, but he is so like his father at times the way he treats the women in this family."

"Excuse me?" you asked, twisting your fingers and wondering what could be keeping Tommy. You were beginning to feel uncomfortable with the turn in conversation.

She chuckled darkly as she stopped in front of you, her hazel eyes dancing with a manic energy that made your stomach drop in anticipation of her next words. "I died for him once. Did you know that?"

You swallowed thickly and shook your head, fingers now clutching the cool metal at your throat as if it might make your husband appear more quickly to save you.

"It's alright, I escaped the noose," she assured you, lowering the volume of her voice to that relegated for the telling of secrets. "Climbed through it like a window to the other side. And I found you can do anything you want cause there are no rules, cause there are no risks. When you’re dead already, you’re free," she whispered as though she was imparting wisdom you might find useful one day.

"He did me a favor really," she mused. "Now I'm the one protecting this family because I'm the only one who can see it all clearly. My second sight keeps us safe, you know." However, you only heard the rantings of a madwoman and your body began to tremble involuntarily.

"Oh, darling. You're shaking," she noted, reaching a hand out to steady you. Her fingers grasped your forearm, nails digging in like talons, and anchoring you to the spot. With saccharine sweetness she cooed, "That's a beautiful necklace," drawing out the vowels in beautiful until it sounded like a taunt. "What does a woman like you have to do to earn a bauble like that?"

"T-tommy chose it on our honeymoon because he loves me," you stuttered, eyes searching hers for a sign she would release you from this trap you'd unwittingly fallen into.

"Diamonds," she said reverentially. "Goodness, you are special then, aren't you?" she couldn't help but add sarcastically.

"I should hope so," you answered in a defiant tone you could no longer hold back given her blatant disrespect.

Her hand slipped from you and you took two steps backward as she smirked. "You know it was sapphires for Grace. They represent wealth and abundance so that suited her I suppose. Rubies for Lizzie, all vitality and passion. But here you stand wearing diamonds," she pronounced.

Feeling the clasp of the necklace dig into your skin in the same painful way Polly's nails had clawed against your arm, your irritation grew. "And what does that mean?" you demanded. Your unease caused the gems to weigh down upon you like bricks. You tried to inhale deeply, but found it difficult to draw breath.

"Some say eternity," she answered in amusement before turning her concentration to your neck. A cackle erupted from her lips as though the idea of your union was a complete joke. Your anger mounted along with the suffocating feeling, closing your throat so you couldn't scream or reply.

"Others say invincibility," she added. "But that's not what you two have. I can see it in the air around you. I know what you are," she proclaimed, eyes narrowing at you hatefully. She closed her fists tightly by her side, knuckles white from the force. And that's when you felt the crushing grip at your windpipe. You fell to your knees, hands flying to your throat, ripping at the necklace or whatever phantom force seemed to be cutting off your air supply. As you rocked back and forth spluttering and choking, Polly stood over you triumphantly.

-----------

When Tommy came looking for you in the parlor, Polly sat sipping her whisky calmly on the sofa. His eyes immediately darted to your tear stained face as he heard your hiccuped sobs coming fast between uneven breaths. "Y/n?" he called to you in panic, crossing the room in quick strides before Polly held up a hand for him to stop.

"She has something to say, Tommy," she announced, looking to you expectantly.

Tommy furrowed his brow in confusion as his foot came to rest over something small and hard. Stooping to retrieve the object, the hurt became evident on his face as he surveyed the floor where your beautiful necklace lay in ruins, a constellation of diamonds cast over the carpet.

As the jewel winked up at him, he looked from his palm and back to you as you stood, wobbling slightly from lightheadedness. "I've made a terrible mistake," you sobbed, brushing past him and running from the room with the urgency of someone fleeing their own execution.

Before he could turn to follow, Polly's eyes flicked up to Tommy's, holding him motionless within her hypnotic gaze as she promised answers. "Perhaps now she'll tell you what she really wanted here because it was never you, my boy."

------------

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@brummiereader

@runnning-outof-time

@emotionalcadaver

@thegreatdragonfruta

@noforkingclue

[lokimobius]

❤️ first kiss / realization + lokius for the ask game :)

Um, so I kinda went overboard with this one... it's over 1.7k words.... apologies for the length. I hope you enjoy this take on this prompt 🥰

I've also uploaded this to ao3 if people prefer reading longer things there!

❤️ first kiss / realization

They shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be doing this. He was breaking every rule in the book and then some.

If Ravonna ever found out she’d prune him, then she’d find out a way to bring him back, just so she could prune him again. If anyone could figure out how to do that, it was her. 

He couldn’t help it, though. Not when Loki had him pressed up against the wall of some unmarked supply closet, lips grazing his jawline, hot breath against his skin.

Loki was so gentle with him. And while it wasn’t unlike him per se, it wasn’t his usual behaviour either. The god of mischief had a reputation that preceded him, especially when it came to hook-ups.

The way that Loki treated him was different from how he'd treated others he was intimate with. He was slow with Mobius; each kiss was soft and deliberate as if he were committing each part of Mobius to his memory.

Loki seemed to melt when they were alone together, his tough exterior softening, begging for Mobius to be close to him.

He loved it when Mobius held him; whether it be his hips, shoulders, or arms, it didn’t matter. Loki craved his touch, and Mobius was more than willing to give him that.

This led Mobius to think, somewhat presumptuously and self-indulgently, that maybe, just maybe, Loki might have some kind of feelings for him. Feelings that at least made Mobius more important to him than just being someone he could kiss when he was bored.

He’d been collecting evidence for and against the possibility of Loki having romantic feelings for him. It was his own foolish secret mission—something that he thought about way too much when he was able to get time for himself.

A green, leather-bound notebook sat in the drawer of his bedside table, hidden under a vast collection of colourful, patterned socks that were definitely not up to TVA dress code.

He wasn’t sure why he hid it; no one would ever find it. It’s not like he had any guests in his bedroom, either. And during the few times that Loki visited his apartment, he was on his best behaviour. In fact, he almost seemed a bit shy and awkward, which was yet again unlike him.

Outside the quiet of his apartment walls, however, he tested Mobius’ patience daily. He always pushed the limits of Mobius’ very obvious fondness for him and often got into places he absolutely shouldn’t be, such as the closet they were in now.

The first time that they kissed, Loki had taken him by his elbow and guided him away from his desk under the guise of wanting to show him something that pertained to the case they were working on.

They’d weaved their way down busy hallways full of unsuspecting TVA workers, through multiple doors, down some stairs and... did they get in an elevator? Mobius wasn’t sure. He didn’t know where they were heading, but he knew the god of mischief was up to something, and he was intrigued.

He followed Loki silently, listening to him talk about whatever simple task had annoyed him that day, anticipation growing in his chest.

They reached their destination just as Loki finished his third rant. Something about how, considering the one token rule that applied to the canteen, the size of the juice boxes was inexcusable.

The door in front of them was inconspicuous. It blended into the teak wood panelling of the wall. There was a rectangle of discoloured wood in the middle of the door, where a sign used to be.

Loki had opened the door, pulled Mobius inside and pushed him up against it. His eyes searched Mobius’ for any unease before kissing him deeply. Mobius had reciprocated it eagerly.

Ever since then, the closet has become their go-to meeting spot. It was strange; Mobius had never even noticed the door before. It blended in so well that it seemed like something that Loki had conjured with his magic. But it was so obvious to him now. He’d never be able to forget what had gone on behind that unnoticeable door.

Now, Loki hummed against his ear. He pressed a gentle kiss behind his ear and ran a hand through his hair, stroking at the short silver strands.

He shivered as Loki grazed his fingernails across his scalp, carefully taking a handful of his hair in his hand and pulling it slightly to insinuate that he wanted Mobius to tip his head to the side.

He obliged and tilted his head, allowing Loki further access to his neck.

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

The moment was so affectionate that it made his heart pound. He yet again became consumed by the possibility of Loki reciprocating his feelings.

He imagined being able to hold Loki’s hand as they walked the hallways of the TVA; being able to run his foot up Loki’s ankle as they tangled their legs in the cafeteria; and being able to hold him close as they slept.

It was overwhelming to be the subject of a god's desire. And it was even more overwhelming to be the subject of a god's desire when you’re harbouring romantic feelings for them. Especially if it’s to the point that it hurts his heart to look at him, unable to discern how long they would be able to do this before they’re either caught or, worse, Loki leaves.

His heart sank as he realised how silly his thoughts were. Even if there was a small chance that Loki felt the same way, he would never stick around. Not when all he’d been trying to do since they met was leave.

As if trying to bring him back into the present again, Loki nipped at his jaw hard. His head was upright again, and his eyes flicked to Loki’s for just a second. There was a question in Loki’s eyes, one that, if he looked any longer, might come spilling out. So, he tipped his head back, hitting it against the wall behind him, baring the kiss-stained skin on his neck for Loki’s pleasure.

He could see Loki smile from the corner of his eye, and he slowly lowered his lips to Mobius’ neck again, pressing heart-flutteringly small kisses to his skin before settling close to his collarbone. He kissed harder, and Mobius knew it was going to leave a mark, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be reminded of this moment every time he saw himself in the mirror. He would hold on to it for as long as he could, just in case it was the last time.

He reached out to grip his hands on Loki’s waist, moaning at the pressure that was building against his neck. He wanted so much more from Loki, but he didn’t know how to tell him that.

Aside from the fact that Loki seemed quite happy to give Mobius all of his attention and receive nothing in return, they never took their meet ups further than kissing.

It was one of the main reasons that Mobius believed that there might be something more to Loki’s feelings. He had written this point down in his little green notebook, highlighted it in orange, and underlined it, noting underneath: “Test this theory out – try going further.” 

He could feel his composure slipping as Loki licked against his skin. The attention he gave him was all-consuming, and he only just realised that Loki was holding on to his waist.

It was becoming all too much. So, in an act of bravery, he gripped Loki’s hips hard and pulled his body close to his.

Loki gasped and pulled away from Mobius’ neck to look him dead in the eyes.

Mobius let out a breath he’d been holding. It was now or never.

“I want you, Loki,” he said simply.

Loki’s eyes widened and then softened. “You have me, Mobius.” He leant back down towards his neck, but Mobius stopped him with his hand.

“Wait, hang on. I do?” He asked, genuinely surprised.

Loki stepped back from Mobius completely, confusion evident on his face. Mobius thought he saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, too. But he hid it quickly, replacing it with a curious look.

Mobius wanted to step forward and hold him, but he was rooted to the spot, his breath caught in his throat.

“What do you think we’ve been doing all this time, Mobius?”

“Uh, well, I thought that maybe you were bored?” He laughed awkwardly, shifting his eyes away from Loki’s.

Good job, Mobius, he thought as he looked at Loki’s perplexed face. Outstanding work at testing your theory. He was just about to apologise when Loki put his hands on his knees and shook with laughter. He had no idea what to do in this situation, so he stood there tongue-tied.

“Well,” Loki said after calming down a bit. “I suppose communication has never been my strong point.”

That broke Mobius out of his daze. “You think?!” He exclaimed. “God, Loki, you could’ve said something!”

Loki put his hands on his hips and asked, “Why else do you think that I’ve been stealing you away so often?”

Mobius mirrored his stance and tipped his head to the side, exasperated. “Like I said: boredom.”

"Well, that definitely plays a part in it.” He smirked, stepping closer to Mobius again. “The work here is mind-numbing at best.”

He returned his hands to Mobius’ hips, pressing him flush against the wall. 

“So, this is real, then?” The words spilt out of Mobius’ mouth before he could stop them. “You like me?”

“Yes, you’re the most interesting person here, Mobius.” He responded truthfully, then, “I’m sorry that shoving you up against a wall and kissing you wasn’t obvious enough.”

Mobius rolled his eyes fondly, “Have you met yourself?”

“I have, actually. Yes.”   

“Ok smart-ass,” He pushed himself away from the wall, kissing Loki softly on the lips. He took Loki’s hand in his and turned him towards the door and paused before asking, “You wanna come back to mine?” 

Loki’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, and butterflies returned to his chest at the sight.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

On the way back to his apartment, Mobius thought again about his green notebook. He made a mental note to destroy it as soon as possible. Things were about to change drastically, and he could not let Loki find it.

[jonsaslove]

Please rant about whichever WIP you're most excited about! And also, which one you anticipate to be the most challenging or out of your comfort zone. And why. Just rant in general, lol. All about them. I'm gonna sit here like

Ask and you shall receive! (dying at that gif too lol)

and the stars forgot us

This is the only one on the list that has a title that is likely to change and it is also the fic that has technically been a WIP the longest. I have had this idea for years, basically since I first started writing for jonsa, and it is all inspired by this post.

I have been interested in writing a Jonsa Lord of the Rings AU, or at least LOTR adjacent, just for the elf!Sansa and dwarf!Jon of it all. This isn't going to be some long sprawling tale or anything, it would just be a one off but it definitely is out of my comfort zone and I've put it off so long because I want to get it right!

brimstone and ash

This is one I have only just started working on but it's definitely going to be a challenging one. Also for the @jonsa-halloween event but for the prompt 'Dragon'.

Without giving too much away I am essentially looking to write an AU where the Targaryens have been an established dynasty for much longer than they ever were in canon, still fantasy still ASOIAF similar but with some changes. The Targaryens are falling out of favour and the realm is in a state of unrest. Jon is raised as a Targaryen and Sansa is alone in the world after a failed Northern Rebellion.

The challenge here is that I am really going to play with Sansa's character in a way I haven't before, she will still not be say 'Arya-esque' in that she is not going to be picking up a sword, but she is going to be forced into situations outside of her normal realm of strengths and will have to navigate that.

solace sought//bewitchment bought

This is the last one I'm going to talk about and it is another one I'm super hype for, and again for the @jonsa-halloween event, prompt being 'Magic'.

Our jumping off point is Sansa, unaware of what she's doing, wargs into Lady before Ned can kill her and her direwolf journeys North while she goes to King's Landing like she does in canon. Mostly I'm super intrigued by diving into the warging aspect since it's not something I've really explored in depth before.

Thanks so much for all the asks Orange :D <3

[karatekels]

(Before you get mad because my Master List isn't currently my pinned post, you can find it here)

Well, I was hoping to give you all a more positive, happy update... but now you get a mixed bag.

I found out yesterday that my beautiful, wonderful PhD supervisor got my graduate funding extended for another year, meaning that all the extra work that I've either done or signed up to do this year is just a nice, extra little windfall that means I don't have to worry about money as aggressively as I have been, so that's a win! I cried happy tears for a very long time.

Unfortunately, this week my chronic fatigue which has been slowly going away over the past year has decided to start coming back.

I've touched on my chronic fatigue and pain a bit here before, but the gist of it is we don't really know what's causing either or how to treat either. At least I'm in Canada, so I haven't had any medical debt relating to this, but on the downside our medical systems are so backlogged I haven't been able to delve into very many tests to really get to the bottom of it. I won't rant about the pain because I've been dealing with it for most of my life and, as shitty as it is, I can usually still coexist with it, but the fatigue...

OH, THE FUCKING FATIGUE.

For me, my fatigue isn't wanting to sleep in longer in the morning or something I can chase away with coffee, or something I can just yawn through as I go about my day - it's an infuriating and debilitating clusterfuck. It usually means I don't sleep well during the night, and I will randomly be unable to function for hours at a time. I can't really think properly, my limbs will go numb, and I usually just slug out on the couch until it passes. No amount of sleep will make the sleepiness go away, and when it comes on, there's nothing I can do (it's a good thing that I don't drive, because if it came on while I was behind the wheel I would pretty much have to immediately pull over, lock the doors and pass out).

The good news (as I'm trying to see it, anyway) is that between my body being largely useless and my finances no longer being as much of an issue as anticipated, I can - and have to be - a bit gentler with myself, meaning I'll probably be at home more than I already am, and looking for a way to escape.

aka "MORE DAYDREAMING AND SUBSEQUENT WRITING!"

I can't promise I'll be churning things out the way I was last summer (jeez, remember last summer? what the hell was I thinking...) but I can pretty much guarantee I'll be writing a lot more than I have been so far this year, and I hope you're looking forward to that possibility as much as I am!

Basically, I just wanted to check in to thank you all for your patience, explain my lack of writing this year, and encourage those of you who are healthy to really appreciate it. I turn 30 in less than two months, and so much of my life (and pretty much my entire adult life) has been impacted by these unpredictable, unfixable problems and it really sucks. So, if you can do a cartwheel, a wheelkick or some kind of jump for joy, please do it for yourselves, and know that I'd join you if I could!

Thanks for reading, and we'll be back to your regularly scheduled smut soon, ya filthy animals!

- KarateKels

---

Tl;dr: Good and bad things are happening but hopefully both mean you'll be getting more writing from me?

[everwitch-magiks]

OKAY EVIE. The epic rivalry between a flashy spellcaster and the person who has to complete all the restoration paperwork after the quest is complete. xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes

Why, hello MJ! Wow, time flies. How about we don't think too hard about how it’s been five or so months since I reblogged this ask game and you sent me this ask.

There is something of a reason why this took me an amount of time: so I decided to make this one more fun by fleshing it out into a little story and also telling it in reverse order. The latter turned out a little challenging. But without further yapping, here it is. Five fun facts from (... more like parts of) a spellcaster/spell restorator (that's a word, right?) AU, told from ending to beginning. Enjoy! ♡

5. Except the very next day, Alex receives a handwritten letter sealed with wax. The seal is the Fox family's. The penmanship is delicate and measured, nothing like the radiant man Alex knows is behind it.

The letter contains both an apology and an invitation. Henry is asking Alex to meet him on the summit of the mountain.

(Alex does.)

4. It goes on like that for months. Henry keeps stopping by, keeps lingering, keeps laughing at Alex's jokes - even when they're mediocre. There's something there. Something beneath the surface. Something that's slowly blossomed this whole time.

One morning, Henry comes early. Before one of his quests. He wants to know if he may visit Alex late that evening, after his return. 'The sunset will be pretty at that time of day. Perhaps we could get up above the treetops to get a good view?'

Alex's heart races in his chest long after Henry has left.

But Henry doesn't come that night. Possibly, his quest went on for longer than he'd anticipated - or possibly, he found something more worthy of his time than Alex.

It'd make sense. Alex can't even claim he's surprised. A common restorator was never a good match for a legendary spellcaster.

3. Henry's pretty when he smiles. He's even prettier when he laughs. He's been spending more and more time simply sitting in Alex's kitchen between quests. It's a little unnerving. Henry has hundreds of admirers who'd happily entertain him during his time off - yet instead he's drinking tea at Alex's table, listening to Alex's rants about the incompetent archivists over at restoration headquarters.

'Anyway, I shouldn't bore you with the details-'

'I like it when you tell me the details.'

That's annoyingly sweet. 'Careful, Fox. I might fall a little bit in love with you.'

Henry's smile softens a fraction. 'I'm sure I shall find some way to bear that.'

Fuck.

Maybe Alex's fantasy of heading up the mountain with Henry could someday become reality.

2. Henry’s off on another quest. Something to do with a flock of wild unicorns inconveniencing a nearby village. Small stuff. If it'd been anyone else the paperwork would've been a piece of cake, but since it's Henry it'll probably take weeks.

Alex isn’t dealing with any of that today. He's off on a stroll up the mountain; the clearance to restore Henry’s most monumental mess hasn't come through yet, so Alex might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Yet when Alex returns home, Henry is there. He's outside Alex's house. That's so odd. Henry hasn't deigned to stop by since they were first thrown together as partners from their respective guilds - even though, at the time, Alex had thought they'd hit it off pretty well.

Henry smiles bashfully when Alex says as much. 'Work has kept me very busy.'

Alex snorts. 'Yeah, well, me too. All thanks to you. You sure don't do things by halves.'

'... Maybe there's someone I've been trying to impress.'

Oh.

1. Alex has fucking had it.

He's knee-deep in trying to obtain clearance to reverse Henry’s latest disaster: a mountain moved from one side of the kingdom to the other while on a quest to save a young boy from a dragon. Moving mountains is a level five restoration. And moving it didn't even help with the fucking dragon. Ridiculous. Henry’s such a showoff.

Never mind that moving mountains is kind of impressive.

Never mind that the mountain is Alex’s favorite in the kingdom, and now the foot of it sits next to his backyard.

Alex’s whole life revolves around following Henry’s tracks and covering them up. And he’s damn good at it. Best in the guild. But sometimes, he wonders what the point of it all is if Henry always remains just out of reach.

Never mind that Alex told Henry once, in a moment of weakness, that he's always dreamt of being asked for his hand at the top of that very mountain. Henry probably doesn't even remember. And even if he does, it'll never be him who takes Alex up the mountain to make it a reality. That’s just a silly fantasy.

... There we have it! Thank you - belatedly - for the ask! ♡

[billybabear]

Some BillyBabe fanfic-writing advice needed ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

So I fell madly in love with the Thai BL 'The Sign'. So much so that it had a horde of plot bunnies run wild in my head.

It gave me so much inspiration that I decided to just start writing again, which makes me unbelievably happy because I definitely forgot how much I enjoyed it.

My story is a RPF about the cast of the show, specifically Babe and Billy, because I just love their relationship (other cast members are featured as well, primarily Heng and Akk).

I don't have a good summary yet, but it's roughly this:

Babe Tanatat never anticipated how much his life would change the moment he stepped onto the set of 'The Sign'. He finds incredible new friends among his co-stars, experiences things he never imagined he would and gets to be part of something truly special.

But every success has it's downsides. From mishaps to accidents to sheer bad luck, everything that can go wrong does.

And if that doesn't make his life complicated enough, Babe finds himself grappling with some unexpected yet very confusing feelings for one particular coworker.

Babe has no idea how he got himself into this mess, nor how he can get out of it.

(Seriously, trying to come up with a half-decent summary is way harder than any writing I've done so far. But I guess coming up with a title will be worse 🫠)

In my story I'm following the episodes, going through them one at a time, picking out scenes that have the potential to go wrong / be funny / etc.. I'm also using the bts-material, as well stuff they said in interviews or offhand comments in their reaction videos (I'm a sucker for details, if you can't tell 😆)

Also, it might have gotten a little out of hand. I've already written around 130k words (not edited or in the correct order, but still), before I decided it might be nice to publish it. And I'm not even halfway through the list of stuff I want for each episode.

And yes, I actually made a list. A (not so) little file for each episode, detailing what scenes and prompts I want there with bullet points for the actual plot. So basically I already have a rough concept/script, but with enough space in between for new ideas.

Since this will be the first time I ever upload a story (on AO3), I'd like to get some opinions on it first.

What do you think about the overall idea? Is it something you might be interested in?

What tense do you prefer while reading - present or past?

What is your preferred chapter length (especially in longer stories)?

What do you think about pictures at the beginning of a chapter? Since I'm following the episodes/bts, there will almost always be a specific scene tied to each chapter. I'm playing with the idea of adding a picture/gif at the start of these. For easy reference where in the storyline we are (or just because they're all cute (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)). Is that something you'd enjoy? Or do you find it more disruptive/annoying?

And I'm always open to new prompts or plot ideas (tied to specific scenes or not).

I hope some of you can share your thoughts, since I'm a complete newbie to publishing stuff. Any other tips and tricks are always greatly appreciated as well 🤗

Have a good one!

(+ I promise my actual writing is better than whatever weird rant this is. Never done a blog post either, and I'm guessing it shows 😂)

[aphrodisiac-siren]

Dynasty of Flames

Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen-Royce Reader

Summary: Being born into the most respected and equally feared houses in the realm made people look up to you as if you were a god and the devil himself, in equal measure. People say that when a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin; and when news of the birth of Daemon's firstborn- a girl, spread, people could only wait in anticipation to see which side of the coin faced up during her birth.

Warnings: Incest (duh)

Masterlist

Part 15

It had been a few months since Aemond had run away with Y/N, stealing her away from her own wedding. Over the course of the days that followed, both sides of the family had agreed to a marriage between the two of them. With Y/N now as Aemond's betrothed, she resided at King's Landing in the Red Keep with him while her family stayed at Dragonstone.

Alicent was delighted to, at last, see her son so happy with Y/N and she thanked the mother each day for at last bringing the both of them together.

Aegon too was just as happy, perhaps even more than his mother. He had wanted his brother and Y/N to end up together since they were children. It had gotten so frustrating for him to see them both constantly deny their feelings for one another and he was relieved that the both of them had finally put aside their pride and just admitted they were in love; even if that took the involvement of a witch and lot of teamwork among the green and black children.

It had been years since the Red Keep had been graced with Aemond's laugh; a sound that was like music to Alicent and she had to thank Y/N for it. She used to watch them fondly as they walked through the Godswood, hand in hand, lost in a conversation of their own as if they were the only ones who mattered in the world.

She smiled to herself, eager to have a talk with them regarding the wedding. The both of them were obviously madly in love, there was no reason the wedding should have to wait any longer; perhaps she would discuss it with them on the morrow.

Before she went to her bed to retire for the day and catch some sleep, she went to her husband's chambers first to make sure he was alright especially since his illness was getting worse by the hour.

She poured him a cup of some milk of the poppy, to help ease the pain.

"How is our sweet Y/N doing" the king asked, his voice sounding strained, as if it hurt for him to talk "how are things between her and Aemond"

"They are both rather happy" Alicent informed him with a smile, slightly disappointed at the endearment he used for the princess and for never once addressing Aemond, his own son, the same way "I plan on discussing the details regarding their wedding after we break our fast on the morrow"

"Yes, yes" Viserys sleepily mumbled "a sp-splendid idea"

Once she had pulled the blankets over him, she turned to head out to her own quarters until she heard the king murmur something softly.

"Yes?" she politely asked as she walked closer to him, to better hear what it is he had to say.

"It is you" he said, almost as a whisper, suddenly thinking that it was Rhaenyra he was talking to. With his illness getting worse, he sometimes used to have hallucinations, thinking he was talking to certain people who weren’t even physically present "if I believe it to be true"

"Believe what to be true" she asked, confused "my king?"

"Don't you remember?" he spoke with his eyes still shut "Aegon's dream"

"Aegon? Our son?"

"The prince that was promised"

"I don't understand Viserys" she truthfully told him. Alicent was rather patient with him, never getting irritated or annoyed whenever he broke out into one of his senseless rants.

"To unite the realm against the cold and the dark" he gasped for breath as he spoke "It is you, you are the one"

Alicent took a deep breath. After all these years, he had finally named Aegon as his successor though she was a bit hesitant this time, not sure if she was happy for her son or concerned about how her dear Rhaenyra might take the news. They'd only just become friends once again.

But in the end, a king's word was law.

"I understand" she simply told him before she left.

She would have to have him sign a royal decree on the morrow, stating that he had changed who was to inherit the iron throne after him.

Though things did not go as planned.

She was awoken from her slumber at a rather late hour to be made aware of her husband's sudden demise.

The queen was deeply saddened by the news; she might not have loved him as a wife but she did love him as his queen. And now with him not being able to announce it himself about the line of succession being changed, she and her father took steps to ensure that no one in the castle was to be made aware of the king's death.

The servants who did know, were locked away in the cellars until they took further action.

Alicent had sent for Aemond and told him about the king but requested him to speak to no one of this, not even Y/N. She told him how Viserys had wished for Aegon to be crowned king upon his death bed.

"Mother, what of Rhaenyra?" he asked in a hushed voice, brows furrowed in confusion "what of Y/N?"

Alicent knew Aemond was more concerned with the latter than the former. By crowning Aegon, Y/N would no longer be in line to ascend the throne. It was never formally announced but Aemond had informed her a while ago, that Rhaenyra had chosen Y/N as her successor instead of Jace. Alicent loved the girl dearly and was fully supportive, until of course, this morning when everything changed.

"She will never bend the knee" he told her earnestly.

"She will have to" Alicent sadly told him, taking her son's hands in her own "it was never my wish to supplant Rhaenyra nor take away Y/N's right to the throne. But it is what the king wished for and his word is law"

She then informed him of Aegon's absence from the castle and Aemond immediately volunteered to help find him even though Alicent was hesitant to allow him to go into the city. If gods forbid, something had happened to Aegon, Aemond would be the one who would have to take his place.

"I am his brother" he tenderly spoke, trying his best to provide comfort to his mother "I know his whereabouts far better than anyone else. Besides, I am well versed with the sword; Cole and I will be fine"

Tentatively, Alicent agreed to let him assist Ser Criston in finding Aegon in the city streets.

"Oh but mother," Aemond turned around to face her as he reached the doorway "when Y/N is to be made aware of this, I wish for it to be me who tells her. I do not want her to hear the news from anyone but me"

It had been a few hours since Y/N had awoken from her sleep only to find herself locked in her chambers. She paced around the room, worrying about what was going on. Was the castle under attack? Had someone died? Was she going to die? Was Aemond alright?

Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the doors creaking open and to her delight, her betrothed walked in, looking more glum than usual.

"Aemond, what is happening?" she asked as she walked toward him. To her surprise, all Aemond did was pull her close in a gentle embrace, resting his head on her shoulder, sighing with relief upon feeling her arms around his torso.

"I'm sorry" he kissed her forehead, unaware that it was ordered that his sweet Y/N be locked like some prisoner "I did not expect for you to be locked away, came here as soon as I heard"

"Is everything alright?" she leaned away slightly to look at him. He seemed much more stoic and rigid than usual, his eye refusing to meet hers.

She could tell when she hugged him how tense he was, not easing into the embrace like how he normally would. Even the kiss to the head seemed chased, almost like there was something grave playing on his mind that kept him from relaxing.

Aemond took a deep breath, clenching his jaw tightly which made his cheekbones more prominent.

"The king is dead" he stiffly informed her, his voice sounding as emotionless as he looked.

"What.." Y/N took a step back in disbelief, she hoped that she heard him wrong.

"He died in his sleep last night" he sighed as he went to stand by the fire, leaving the princess standing in the middle of the room. He didn’t know how to tell her this, but he knew he had to and he wanted it to be him she heard it from "in his death bed, with his last breath he told my mother of his final wish. He..."

He heaved a long sigh. There would be no easy way to tell her this.

"Mother wants you to get dressed and join me by the carriages, we are to attend a coronation at the sept" he looked away from her, knowing he wouldn’t be able to face her "of Aegon"

Y/N's gaze snapped toward him at the mention of this.

"Your brother plans to usurp the throne?" the princess marched toward him "Aemond this is treason!"

"The king himself said-"

"Well were there any witnesses?"

"You think my mother would spin a lie?" He turned to look at her, brows furrowed "do you truly think Aegon would steal the throne when he has never had the desire to be king?"

"Then why go ahead with it anyway?" Y/N was more enraged than confused, if the boy wasn't going to take his duties seriously as king, why force him to rule? It made no sense, to take away the throne from the rightful heir and give it to someone who never wanted it to begin with.

"Because it's what the king wanted!"

"Aemond this is madness, Rhaenyra is the rightful heir and you know it" she snapped, her voice going up an octave "the realm swore obeisance to her, your mother and grandfather included"

"Well yes, she was the heir and we all supported her claim" Aemond raised his voice too, patience growing thin "but now the king has chosen a different successor and we much provide the same support"

"You expect me to betray my queen and go against her? To just accept the fact that you plan on putting Aegon on the throne?" The princess scoffed, still struck with disbelief that this was even happening "you do realise that by doing so, you not only dethrone Rhaenyra but me as well?"

"I am next in line to the throne now" Aemond spoke with a serious tone, shoulders pushed back as he informed her of his station with pride "I am to take you as my wife and then perhaps someday, you will be queen"

"Perhaps?" Y/N scoffed with a chuckle of frustration. She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with him "there was never a 'perhaps' for me, I was going to be crowned queen. And as for you, you aren’t next in line; Aegon's sons are"

Aemond heaved a sigh as his gaze lingered on her.

He knew it was hopeless. She would not swear her loyalty to Aegon, not while she still believed that the king never named him heir and especially not when it meant that her claim to the throne would be invalidated.

He clenched his jaw and nodded silently.

"Forgive me then" he muttered lowly before he turned and marched toward the door, flinging it open and quickly shutting it.

The princess tried to run toward him before he could close the door but she was late in getting there. She heard a clicking sound, letting her know that he had locked her inside.

"Aemond!" She yelled as she pounded at the door with her fist "you will open this door right this instant"

"Make sure the princess doesn't leave" he yelled at one of the guards as he walked away from the room "the door is to remain shut until I open it myself"

When Aemond reached the end of the hallway, he ran into his mother who was already dressed in her green gown for the ceremony. She looked at him with an expression that was both sad and concerned.

"Y/N?" she simply said and Aemond understood what she meant.

He simply shook his head with a low grunt and Alicent sighed in defeat.

"I need to speak with her" she said in a low voice, even though she knew that there was nothing she could say that would change the princess' mind.

"I'll wait outside" Aemond gruffly said as he retrieved the key from his pocket, handing it to his mother "I doubt she'll want to speak to me after I locked her in"

Alicent silently took the key from her son's hand, before she made her way to Y/N's chambers.

Aemond, as promised, stood outside patiently.

Alicent hadn’t managed to convince the princess to swear to Aegon, which was expected but she did manage to convince her to accompany them to the sept which took quite some time.

Aemond was surprised that his mother had managed to do it, but he didn’t ask any questions. Alicent just informed him that she would be ready in a few moments and that the both of them should leave for the sept as soon as the princess is dressed.

Aegon seemed to be more miserable about this entire thing in comparison to Y/N. He looked like he would much rather be cleaning dung off the horses' arse than to be in his best attire whilst being dragged away to be crowned king.

He had absolutely no hopes that she might've agreed to attend her future brother-in-law's coronation, but he was taken by surprise when his mother told him Y/N would be present at the sept when they were in the carriage.

By the time Y/N and Aemond reached the sept, the townsfolk were already gathered inside and the royal family stood at the very front, near the alter. When Alicent and Otto looked toward the princess Y/N, they both sighed nervously, exchanging uncertain glances.

She was clad in a red dress with black embellishments. She had adorned a beautifully crafted tiara made from valyrian steel, a symbol of her being the one who should rule and not Aegon. She was wearing the colours of Rhaenyra, making a bold display of where her loyalties lay.

She did not utter a single word when she was ushered to stand at her betrothed's side. She gave him a sharp look and that was all. Helaena, who was stood beside the princess, hesitantly took her hand but relaxed when Y/N gave her a slight squeeze.

"Aegon never wanted any of this" she tried to tell her "none of us did, but mother said-"

"I do not wish to hear anything your mother has told you" Y/N cut her off. She knew she sounded rude but she could care less about their mother when they all were disrespecting her family and herself in a far worse fashion.

Years of being the sweet, compassionate princess and this was what she got in return; a slap in the face.

The reality of everything began to sink in:

Now everyone she loved and cherished would turn on each other and all would burn.

The sound of the trumpets and the drums snapped her out of her thoughts and brought her back to the present.

Aegon, who was still very upset about this whole thing, begrudgingly walked in between a path the king's guard had paved for him, raising their swords above his head as he passed them with a grim expression.

As he approached his family he immediately caught sight of Y/N. His fleeting moment of joy to see the princess, someone he cared for like a sister of his own, standing with his family, vanished the moment he drew a bit closer. His heart shattered when he saw her staring down at him with so much hate in her eyes that he wanted to run up to her and tell her he did not wish to be king, that he would much rather sail away on a ship and live a commoner's life. A single tear rolled down his face when he realised that the one person in this broken family of his, who loved him all these years was now among the ones who hated him the most.

As soon and he climbed the stairs he immediately turned to his left. 

"Y/N I.. " he began but his grandfather was quick to seize him by the arm and drag him toward the septon.

Aegon was not fully present during the ceremony. All he could think about was how difficult life would get from this point onwards. He was no longer a boy, free to do as he pleased. He was now King and quiet possibly the reason behind a war that would rob him of everything he held dear.

Taglist: @ladybug0095 @sahvlren @bunny24sstuff @dellalyra @ellabellabus07 @champomiell @fan-goddess @lilostif16

[samcscreams]

“Truth or dare?” Mindy asked looking over to Chad.

Game nights were a regular with the core four. But now they got to add Kirby and Danny to the mix. It was usually board games but they were all wanting to try something knew that would end with less yelling and destruction.

“Dare” Chad said

“I dare you to chug milk” Mindy said with a devilish grin on her face.

“Oh come on Min you know I’m lactose intolerant.” Chad whined

“Rules are rules dingus” Mindy said as she pushed Chads shoulder.

With a grown, Chad got up and headed to the kitchen grabbed the milk and poured a glass. He walked back into view and chugged the glass.

“How are you not vomiting?” Mindy asked as Chad headed back to sit down

“I like Almond milk in my coffee” Tara chimed in

“Never said what type of milk I had to chug” Chad said beaming at Mindy

An eye roll and a scoff escapes Mindy as the room bursts into laughter.

Chad slowly scans the room trying to find the perfect victim. He already got his revenge on Mindy by finding the loophole in her dare. Danny was already grilled on his and Sam’s relationship by Tara. And Kirby was still mad after Mindy dared her to say the best Friday the 13th was part 2. Then there was Sam who so far was pretty unscathed.

“Sam, truth or dare?” Chad asked

“Ummm truth” Sam answered surprising everyone. Sam was usually a dare type of person. Most people are the opposite but Sam would do anything you asked. She’d look of fool or eat something disgusting. For her it was always easier than the truth. But as she was growing tired she thought to herself it’s Chad he’ll ask me my favorite color or food. Like normal she was wrong.

Well shit Chad had thought of the perfect candidate but not the perfect question, Sam never chooses truth. He was gonna dare here to do a 10 push ups with Tara on her back but now he needed something new and he had to make it count.

“Earth to Chad? You have to ask a question now.” Kirby told him

“Ya I’m finding it. Sam never chooses truth. Gotta make sure it’s good” he said

Sam’s stomach dropped at Chads words. The longer he took asking the question the more Sam could feel her anxiety burn through her chest. Her mind was racing with what Chad could ask her. She knows they would never judge her for her truth. But they couldn’t stop her from judging herself.

Tara watched as her sisters breath caught on Chads words. Her jaw clenched and her hands started to fidget more than they already were. Tara reaches over and just puts her hand on Sam’s leg. She could feel her sister relax under her touch. Sam was still stuck in her head but her body knew it was safe. It was a reassuring feeling for Tara to know she had the power to calm Sam with a simple touch. Honestly, it just felt good to know it went both ways.

“I got it!” Chad said

“About time” Mindy added

Turing to Sam Chad took a deep breath. Sam tensed all of her muscles as if someone was about to throw a bomb at her and she had to withstand the blow.

“What’s something you’ve never told anybody before. Not anyone in this room can have heard it before” Chad says sternly trying to make sure there isn’t any loopholes in his question.

Sam swallows hard. Trying to think of an answer was hard especially with Tara and Danny there. The sisters agreed after the latest ghost face attacks no more secrets. They had spent plenty of nights talking about little things from the past. And then there was Danny who she would uses to rant to for hours. She could make something up or saying something Danny would know and he’d play dumb. But no she couldn’t lie to them anymore. Tara would know and The twins would pick on her for years if she gave a weak answer. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her. How they all were hanging on the edge of their seat with anticipation. The pressure was too much. She could feel the walls she built crumbling around her.

“I came back” Sam blurted out

“What?” They all said in unison

“To Woodsboro” she said looking at the floor

“Ya Sam we all know that it’s not a se…” Mindy said but was cut off

“No before that. I came back when I was 21.” The room was silent. Blank faces stared back at her. Sams heart felt like it was gonna explode. And then it did.

Tara took off to her bedroom.

“Tara wait” Sam said running after her sister

“Nice going dingus” Mindy said as she hit the back of Chads head

“I thought we said no more secrets” Tara said sitting on her bed as Sam entered the room.

“I know. I know I just didn’t want to remember this one” Sam said in a defeated tone

“I really could have had you back sooner?” Tara with tears in her eyes looked up at Sam

“No, yes, maybe but it didn’t happen like that. It’s complicated.” Sam said as she moved to the bed next to Tara

“Then tell me” Tara whispered

“Okay. Okay. So I had been clean for about three months. I had a stable job and thought maybe it was safe for me to come back. The night I left I made a promise to myself that when I did come back I was gonna be the big sister you deserved. I thought I was ready. When I got back I snuck into my old room like I used to. I could hear you downstairs. I was gonna sneak back out and come through the front door but you weren’t alone. Amber was there and my curiosity got the better of me. I waited upstairs just listening to you talk. I could barely recognize your voice. It broke me knowing how much time I missed with you. I was about to leave. Maybe give it a day or two and try again. But then I heard Amber mention me. You know Sam could never love you like I can she said. Her words just pissed me off. Like she knew I was there listening. I was about to rush downstairs when I heard you say i don’t need her anymore just you. I was frozen. To hear you so confidently say you didn’t need me anymore to agree that someone else could provide you the love I had for you was all too much to take… I broke my sobriety that night.”

Sam was crying before she could finish. Tara took her hand and just looked at Sam who was so broken down she looked like a husk of herself.

“I remember that day. It’s not true I just said that because I was mad. I shouldn’t have said that. If I didn’t I might have had you sooner. I’m So sorry” Tara said trying to get Sam to look at her.

“I didn’t want to tell you for this exact reason. My actions are not your fault Tara. You had every right to be mad at me for leaving.” Sam’s eyes were sharp and sincere.

“I know but you still left again. If I didn’t…”

“No Tara I left again because of mom. I spiraled that night and landed in jail for public intoxication. Hicks called mom to bail me out. She said she only would if I promised to leave again. That you didn’t deserve to be known as my sister. That you moved on and we’re doing better with out me”

Tara jumped onto her sister Bear hugging her. Sam shook as she let out a sob. The touch of forgiveness and understanding swirled around them.

“I’m so proud to be your baby sister. I’d shout it from the roof tops if I could. I’d alert the presses and call the president. The news stations would be buzzing with head lines “this just in Tara Carpenter is honored to be Samantha Carpenters sister” the world deserves to know just how important you are to me.” Tara pulled away from her sister as they both started to chuckle

“I’m the lucky one” Sam said in return

“Ya but everyone already knows that” Tara said through a cheesy grin.

“Hey” Sam said as she slightly shoved her sister in a playful manner.

Tara got off the bed and walked to the door before she opened it she turned back to her sister.

“You could have lied but you didn’t. Thank you for telling me.”

“I just can’t lie to you all anymore. It’s gotten us nowhere.”

Tara just nods her head in agreement As she opens the door

“I think it’s time for eye spy” Tara says as the sisters walk towards the group.

Nobody dares ask anything. They all just agree to the game change. Before the sisters part ways and go back to their seats with the group Sam grabs Tara’s hand and squeeze three times.

The first squeeze to say thank you.

The second to say Im not going anywhere.

The third to say I love you.

[gear-project]

Annon-Guy: Feel free to disagree with me, but I feel StrIVe isn't exactly fair to single player content and I need to rant here

The CURSED Difficulty Scale system in Arcade Mode along with purposely unfair cheating bosses. I can respect you liking it, but I don't like forced difficulties in fighting games.

Limited World Dollars in Single Player. Beat arcade mode once with Sol: rewarded. Beat Arcade twice with Sol: NOTHING. Chump change for each win in Survival Mode.

Gallery unlocks stuck to a random number generator (Fishing) alongside unless Avatar junk instead of making them seperate items like with the funitrual and Digital Figure Content.

Really now... it feels like Team Red doesn't care much about Single Player Content and wants to FORCE them to play Online to make World Dollars or to have fun, which is not good in my opinion. I get this is meant to be played with friends and for a time, I did enjoy online, but only because I wasn't eating dirt EVERY single time, getting punched into the corner with no breathing room until I got to the guys who love to make me eat dirt. Granted, when I do play online once in a blue moon, I don't always run into them, but it's not pleasant, especially when they guage my skills in the first round before turning me into pulp in the next round.

I'm not a casual player, but I'm no professional player either. While BBTAG lacked single player content, it says something when I had MORE enjoyment with it than StrIVe! At least Team Blue doesn't force people to play online to do stuff.

I still like StrIVe though, but it's sad when I consider Xrd SIGN the best between it, Revelator/Rev 2 and StrIVe.

I'm still looking forward to see if anything good comes from StrIVe, but I feel it's a giant slap to the Single Player crowd.

"YARE YARE DAZE..." as Sol tends to say.

I get what you're saying, but I think it's necessary to address your complaints to ARC System Works directly. You aren't the only one who feels that way.

They tend to focus on Online Gameplay for this game compared to solo play, so of course a lot of ideas were neglected.

As for the difficulty of bosses... they anticipated that casual players won't make perfect runs of Arcade Mode, which is why the "bosses" of the game are usually fought with an Ally to assist you in combat (though the reality is, obtaining those routes isn't optimal). Even in Guilty Gear Isuka, you had to have a second player to assist you as a teammate to play higher difficulties.

I'm a long-time gaming veteran, so most of my expectations are born from harsh experiences against one-sided battles against nearly unbeatable foes... so I totally get that it's hard to face these kinds of bosses the first time you experience a fighting game... in fact it's a heavy contrast to the idea of learning fighting games for the first time!

I first seriously cut my teeth on Guilty Gear XX's Mission Mode, and that was a dive in to some TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, difficulty... but it also laid the foundation for learning how to play better on my own terms in terms of skill.

I'm not saying everyone will learn the game that way, but it couldn't hurt to do so. Establishing a solid foundation through learning how to play and upping your game is part of the experience, but it's not something you can learn in a day... it takes time, dedication, and patience. Sometimes you really do need to play Mission Mode for a while to comprehend the basics... even just spending hours upon hours in training mode is part of the deal too!

Part of the reason Team Red is so focused on Multiplayer right now has to do with their origins as producers of Arcade Games... making console features isn't something they are necessarily adapted to doing.

But, that doesn't mean they're entirely inflexible, since they've come up with good ideas in the past.

I think it boils down to addressing the issues as a community and making sure they hear our opinions firmly.

This is no longer just Ishiwatari we're talking about, this is a fresh generation of game developers who are cutting their teeth on something new.

Even if you yourself can't think of a way to talk to them about these issues... there are several of us in the community that ARE ADDRESSING THESE ISSUES TO THEM DIRECTLY... so you aren't alone. I want you to remember that in earnest.