#this was a lot of fun but I'm not sure if I'd use it for anything large scale
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Alright, I’ll bite. Devil’s Minion in both the book and the show feels very connected to the AIDS crisis… but I’ve only ever acquired knowledge about that period through osmosis, so I’m curious if you have any thoughts/connections or information. 👀
I put out a call for people to ask me fandom-related queer history questions since I know a lot! I want to remind people this is open and that I welcome any fandom questions about queer history!
Ok this is going to get long because I have a lot of feelings on this topic especially. For those who just want some resources, further reading, and my sources, you can find those at the end. I'll pepper some links in, but I'll try to put the bulk of it there. But Daniel Molloy in the show especially is a man heavily impacted by the history of the AIDS crisis and I have a lot to say about that. I'm also assuming a knowledge of what HIV and AIDS are in the first place. You can do some quick reading here.
First, a note on the books since I mostly want to talk about the show. Queen of the Damned was published in 1988 when the AIDS crisis was in full swing. The peak of deaths was in 1993, but 1988 wasn't exactly early in it. The previous year saw the start of the AIDS memorial quilt, the founding of ACT UP (we'll talk about them later 💜), and Princess Diana publicly shaking the hand of an HIV positive patient. The shadow is cast over the culture, Anne Rice was not immune to the zeitgeist. Hell, she was living in the Castro district at the time and that is a notably queer area. (Her son Christopher talks about that briefly here.) I don't this the parallels are an accident. Armand is a man watching his lover slowly waste away while he can do nothing about it. Sure, it isn't AIDS, it's the alcohol and lack of care to his body. Sure, Armand could turn him. But despite their fun and their arguments being such a focus, that helplessness and fear permeates their relationship in the Devil's Minion chapter. Like so many gay men at the time, Daniel is wasting away. Armand is tormented by this. That is one of the most prominent faces of queer men at this time!
Daniel in the show has more going on in relation to the crisis.
I'll start by saying this in case it needs asserted, Daniel is a leftist journalist. And I don't mean in a casual liberal way. He's clearly passionate and involved and these things matter to him. He makes flippant and offensive comments in the interview sure, but I'm not saying he's perfect. His books give this away. He wrote about environmental issues in Under the Burning Sky, the prison industrial complex in The United States of Prison and Profit, and seemingly the surveillance state in Homelandia and likely in his book on Snowden. I'd also like to gesture to his work with "the barb". The Berkeley Barb was a leftist underground student paper. I'd recommend taking a look at their archives linked here and their website to get a grasp for what he was writing with at the time. (Warning, the archives are often NSFW). But in short the barb's attitude was largely anti-war, sex-positive, fuck the establishment kind of writing. He was already like this when he ran into Louis in '73. This will inform our view of him moving forward and will be our framework for understanding how he interfaced with the AIDS crisis.
I think it's important to note Daniel's proximity to AIDS too. I mean, subtextually, he had a brush with it when Louis nearly killed him in '73. Louis was a silent killer sweeping through the queer men of San Fran. Gay men were likely seeing lovers and friends disappear after going home with a stranger. Risky sex and drug use leading to a death going unacknowledged, one that's largely impacting gay men? I think the subtext of it is queer-- I mean clear. (Louis is not an all around metaphor for AIDS, but the ties between it and vampirism in the series seem clear, and in this instance the connection is there specifically for Louis, no one come for my ass).
Speaking of, the proximity is there in his behaviors too. He's a drug user who goes home with random men. (Casual sex was a big part of gay culture back then, see the hanky code and cruising for this.) Both of these actions put him at high risk of contracting HIV and put him among populations more likely to contract it. He was using heroin, and needle sharing is a huge risk factor in the spread of bloodborne illnesses, which can lead to the spread of HIV (which is why needle exchanges are so important.)
Finally for incidental proximity early on, Daniel was living in San Francisco. We know he frequented Polynesian Mary's at least, and possibly other gay bars. He also likely lived near or in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood (given his memoir being called Hate and Ashbury). This area is very notably queer, historically. By 1990 HIV was the leading cause of death for young men in San Francisco at 61%. That's frighteningly high, and sure this was much later, but San Francisco was an epicenter.
AIDS was first identified in 1981 as a spread of Karposi Sarcoma and PCP (or "gay pneumonia" colloquially) in gay men in areas like New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. The first KS patient to go public (Bobbi Campbell) was in San Fran. He later wrote the first pamphlet on "safer sex". The first KS clinic was opened here, and later the first dedicated AIDS clinic (which Daniel seems to have written an article about according to his LinkedIn). By 1982 this epidemic was known as GRID, or Gay Related Immuno-Deficiency. (Interesting parallel that s1 notes Daniel as having an auto-immune disease, which Parkinson's is not primarily known as...). Daniel was covering these early years. His book A Shadow on the Skin was about this! It was a collection of articles he wrote on KS in the early years as he documented it becoming the AIDS crisis! He was routinely writing about the early epidemic. (s/o to @cbrownjc for this post where I found the blurb on the back of the book).
So, while living in San Francisco, this deeply politically involved young man was watching the early crisis unfold. He saw gay men dying slowly. Some gay men at the time described watching the AIDS crisis sweep through as watching their cities become ghost towns. This was something terrifying, something haunting, and something attributed largely to queer men. I mean, it was called GRID until 1982/1983. It wasn't until Ryan White, a 13 year old boy, contracted HIV from a blood transfusion in 1984 that people began seeing it as anything but just a gay disease. Even then, public perception didn't change quickly. It was so heavily associated with gay men, even, that getting national medical authorities to recognize women could contract it and treat it in women was a struggle.
All of this horror was occurring and the government ignored it. When they didn't ignore it? Ronald Reagan, then president, laughed at it. Hospitals were terrified of gay men, some refused to touch or treat AIDS patients. The FDA and CDC were slow to respond and to treat it.
In season one, Daniel is dismissive of his own queerness. He shrugs off his being in gay bars and hooking up with men, acts like it wasn't a big deal and it was just to score. I think this dismissive attitude likely stems from the AIDS crisis, at least in part. Lingering trauma from Louis' attack in '73 may play a role, after all, the body keeps the score. But I don't think we can overlook AIDS as a factor. The writers clearly didn't overlook it in his characterization, as exemplified above. I think they mean for this to impact who he is and how we view him! He watched some of the most terrifying years in recent queer history, of course he would downplay his queerness, of course he would marry two women even if he wasn't happy with them. (Not denying he may be bisexual, but he's certainly closeted.) And in the end, despite distance from his queerness, he still ended up having to waste away slowly from a disease with no cure, just uncomfortable treatments, much like men in the early AIDS crisis. (Early AIDS treatments were all trial based, you were lucky if you got in. You were lucky if you didn't end up in the control group. But the gamble was all you had, and those were the lucky ones. Even then it may not work, it was a trial for a reason. It wasn't until 1987 that AZT was approved to treat AIDS. It wasn't until the mid-90's, years later, that AIDS was considered survivable. I can't help but see his levadopa and how it only slows the inevitable as a parallel to this. A terrible reflection of earlier fears. Parkinson's has no cure. He'll deteriorate until he succumbs, even with medicine. He's lucky if it improves his quality of life, if it doesn't just make him more miserable. He'd be lucky to get a few more years.)
If Devil's Minion happened in the past, Armand watched his lover engage in high risk activities, while clearly aware of the risk given his coverage of AIDS. He watched Daniel writing a book worth of articles on KS and AIDS clinics. He knew how horrifying it was, he knew Daniel knew, and he watched his lover play with fire by using heroin anyway. And in the end? He still watched Daniel deteriorate slowly with medicine that only slowed it more.
If Devil's Minion is only coming and wasn't in the past at all? I think the impact of AIDS mostly falls to Daniel. After being turned he embraces life so fully. Yes, because he was dying before. But his style feels more queer once again. He doesn't have to fear any human diseases! He can fuck men! He can be gay! The shadow that hung over his youthful queer exploration, that interrupted it, is gone for him. And now he doesn't feel it's too late for him, I imagine. I mean, before he didn't have many peers, so many his age died. But now he's a vampire, he's outside of this. He can fuck young men, vampires, whatever. He's now outside of society whether he likes it or not, he's the "other", in for a penny in for a pound, right? And I think that's all going to impact who he is as a character going forward now too.
If there's interest in a Part 2 on the impact of AIDS activism in New York, since Daniel likely saw a lot of it up close, I'll gladly write it. I have opinions and info to share.
For now, stay safe everyone. I love you. And here's some further reading.
~~~~~~~~
A timeline of HIV and AIDS (1981-2024)
Only Your Calamity: The Beginnings of Activism by and for People With AIDS
HIV Infection as Leading Cause of Death Among Young Adults in US Cities and States (1993, about 1990)
On the impacts of the AIDS crisis on gay culture
The Queer significance of San Francisco
1 2 3 4 5 6
AIDS Memorial Quilt
Princess Diana's AIDS Advocacy
About the Berkeley Barb
How Ryan White impacted the view of AIDS
Daniel Molloy's LinkedIn
Practicum Page
#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#danmand#devils minion#armandaniel#daniel molloy#aids crisis#aids#queer history#anne rice#emil.txt
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Watch out for Keepers
Everyone told me to stay away from Swapping. I thought it was just overblown concern, exaggerated I was certain. I was so turned on by the idea though. I wanted to try swapping all throughout high school. God, it seemed so kinky. I mean I had always been a horny kid, now a horny college student. And I had the body to guarantee any guy would fuck me.
I was a swimmer, so my muscles were more toned than bulging. Hairless, I was so smooth. I loved when my fucks would run their hands over my legs and arms, surprised by how smooth a man could be.
But I wanted more than just sex. I should say, I wanted more than just sex as myself. Something about the idea of fucking in another body was just irresistible to me. I had discussed the idea with mutual friends, some family. Not how deep my kink went, just something along the line of, "I wonder what it's like to be someone else."
And that is when almost unanimously the people in my life said, "Are you kidding? It's so risky. What if they do something crazy in your body? What if they keep your body?"
I nodded and agreed usually. Swapping was pretty controversial anyways. A lot of people found it repugnant because of the little oversight Swapping had. Users of Swapping tech weren't bound by any laws. Sure, laws had been tried but the trouble was tied up in court about how to hold people accountable when they are in different bodies. And then there are the times people can't confirm someone stole their body.
I was a little afraid of it... but fuck, I wanted to do it so bad. And well, there is not much to be done when my dick overrides my mind.
So I found a guy who had the tech. He was a kinda nerdy guy on campus. He was scrawny, his clothes not always fitting right on his slim frame. He had glasses, and fairly greasy hair. We talked a lot about it before I came around and agreed to swap with him. He was gay too, I found out. And he was curious about trying his luck with the guys in a body that was eminently fuckable.
Me? I was curious about being in another body for a dry run. I didn't care that he was someone I would absolutely never fuck, let alone touch. But I suppose there was an allure in that if I am honest. Like, what would it actually be like to try and get some as a nerd? What would it feel like to orgasm in this tiny body?
So we swapped. It was insane, right away we were both clawing at our bodies. I was surprised at how his arms felt so scrawny, and pulling up his shirt his belly had a bit of a bulge. Not from fat, really. Just organs pushing out from his skinny frame.
He similarly was checking out my body. He was peeking into my jeans, smiling and chuckling to himself. We agreed to part ways and enjoy the experience for the weekend. It was only supposed to be until Sunday night, then we'd swap back. Plenty of time for the both of us to have some fun.
Until he never showed up. I started to panic when I realized he wasn't coming. I started searching around campus and finally saw him heading into my dorm. He tried to ignore me, but I got in his face. He easily shoved me, putting me on my ass.
"I don't think so, dude. I'm going to enjoy this for a little longer." He said, smirking.
I felt my eyes start to well up. What was this feeling? I don't cry! But this body was too weak, to puny to fight back. And I felt powerless... something I never had before. I stayed on the ground as he walked away. I could not utter a word, as I realized he was walking away with my body.
I wondered if he'd ever agree to swap back. The only thing I clung to for hope was he had left the Swapping machine in his room, now mine. I suppose if I got truly desperate, I could try and trick someone else into taking this body. Could I be that cruel? As cruel as this geek who just absconded with my body?
I'd just have to see how desperate I get, I suppose.
#malebodyswap#maletransformation#male body swap#body switch#body swap#bodyswap#geek#nerd#jock#gay jock
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Some mayopunk is trying to spread the 'Hobie is obviously an adult' agenda in 2025 and blocked me and another user of color for telling him he was being weird asf so reminder that 'he's 19-20' is a purposefully cut off clip about Hobie's beta,the stage of which's also included 13 year old Pavitr.Literally every official material refers to Hobie as a young boy but bro's racism autism refrained him from googling🙄That was the actual excuse he used on the post btw.If you wanna make sure i'm not playing,the Kemp Powers Power Hour interview is full on youtube and i'd recommend watching it all for fun since there's a lot of cool extra lore in it.Also please reblog this /srs but /nf
#hobie brown#hobie brown deserves better#gwen stacy#ghostpunk#margo kess#margo tag#punkbyte#pavitr prabhakar#goldenpunk#miles g morales#punkprowler#gayatri singh#laddoopunk#atsv#spiderman#gamerpunk#< familial selfship tag#antiblackness#blackness#adultification tw#afropunk#💌#summerposting
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Hi ! I’ve been a massive fan through the years, seeing you develop Hyden and his world and how full of life and wonder and details is so awe inspiring and cool! I really love your work and your style is so vibrant and electric! It always makes me happy when I see your posts pass by
I wanted to ask if you had any advice about wanting to share your stories with the world. I get so anxious that no one will care and I’ll just be posting to no one. I don’t want fame , just mutual interaction or have people genuinely curious , hear about others stories and be able to tell my own
How did you start? I don’t want to assume , but you do have so much confidence and are very well spoken in the way you explain your lore, what helped you get over any fears or worries?
Gosh, thank you so much for the compliments! That's so sweet of you to say… it means a lot to me that people enjoy my stuff.
My thoughts on your other questions about sharing stories are long, rambling, and disjointed… apologies in advance for the length, I swear I tried to edit this down:
Regarding sharing stories, I'd say the most useful thing you can possibly have is to have at least one friend you share story stuff with who is totally on board with it and having fun too. I've been coming up with stories and characters my entire life, and only twice have I really had an audience for it. Every other time it was just me and my sister, or me and a couple friends, or me and my wife doing creative stuff semi-privately just for the joy of the craft.
(Of course, I know that's easier said than done… but if you do have creative friends, organizing some plans to share stories with each other, ask questions, create AUs where your OCs from different stories interact with each other, etc can be very psychologically nutritious.)
Regarding feeling anxious, I suppose I never felt much anxiety about it myself, so I'm not sure how to advise there… I was a teenager on Neopets where putting massive amounts of work into character stories that nobody might ever read was the norm… unless you were astronomically popular, it was expected that you would probably never hear from your audience and would never know how many people read your stories. Everything was primarily for your own entertainment, and I carried that approach forward into other creative works. Of course, it's hard not to feel a little self-conscious these days, when you can easily see what people are saying and see who is getting "engagement" and who is not... but I do think that aiming to entertain yourself (and perhaps one or two friends) first and foremost is the healthiest approach. Plus, if you are really invested in something and constantly producing lots of art and info about it, people tend to pick up on that positive energy.
Apologies if this isn't super useful... I know "just don't care and also happen to have a bunch of friends with very specific interests!" is not very helpful advice in itself.
I have many other thoughts on "launching" a story, how to meet other OC creators, and trying to build an audience who interacts with your characters... it's something I've thought about a lot. I can share my insights for others in this boat, if anyone's interested? I'm unsure if I should include them here since it might feel lecture-y to Anon (and also this post is long enough, PHEW). Let me know if you're interested in hearing them though!
#ack sorry anon this is way too long and kind of jumbled#I need to stop trying to re-edit this response and just go do Wishbone though#anon#ask#not an art post#also... again thank you for the super sweet message... it means a lot to hear
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messed around with the lasso tool in my drawing program
#sims 2#sims 2 premades#nervous subject#pascal curious#neat little experiment#this was a lot of fun but I'm not sure if I'd use it for anything large scale#but I'll definitely keep it in mind now that I know how to use it
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#hellooooo it's been a long week for sure#got my exam results. did a lot better than i thought i'd do!!!#also had an interview for a place in a community college which i got#but i hopefully got into uni (i'll find out 2pm tmrw) so i mightn't need it!!!#i'm so scared man i'm used to class sizes of like.. 8 😭#and now i've gotta get 4 buses a day to the city and back instead of a 20 min stroll up the road 😔#did a pub crawl saturday to celebrate. had a lot of fun#been having fun with bg3 too!! i'm still on act 1#my ear is blocked again 😔 it's €60 to get it drained ughhh i'll just suffer on#getting my first tattoo soon though 🥳#enough about me lol i need to make a personal sideblog one of these days#i'll def have a lot less time to be active with sims stuff if i'm starting uni so i'll be sure to make one ^^#ANYWAYS here's ms macmahon#/roxana#i swear to god i'm going to catch up with all the new kmik posts when i wake up tomorrow#if i don't assume me dead#ts4
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Hello hello!!! Guess what. Yokai art dump below the cut!! So cool and shiny wow
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Its true, I do >u<
I'll try and section these and give the usual explanations below! Image ID for more drawing specific inksplanation.
Click for full image! Since a lotta these are weirdly shaped they were cut off....augh...
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McKraken and Maddiman related doodlesssss they're some of my faves <3 i will always love them even if they're not my focus characters atm (well. McKraken kinda is rn but also Babblong so YAY)
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Misc. Yokai and ocs! The frog is Kerosque, the guy w the swirly pompadour thing is Swiss, and the monkey is Romono (although he's a Regretevator OC from FOREVER ago, he's still my son <33)
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SWISS STUFF RAUGHHHH ! inconsistent style will be APPARENT here try not to notice shuhhhhhgh
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Height for main yokai in my AU/on Casp's team! (In the anime it's just primary summons then wwwww)
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Some yokai practice/design hcs bc my friend asked!! I was so happy to share 🤭 LOVE YOU CHERCHERRRR
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Some of my little guys once more! Rawry' prob one of my faves yokai to draw, easy and fun to do show-accurate or stylized.
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OCSSSSSS. AND BADDINYAN. MY EVIL CAT <3333 the guy next to the frog in the middle is an oc idea but idk for what yet =▽=
AUGH. THERES AN IMAGE LIMIT? Well in case you're wondering it's 30....post the rest after I get tomorrow's doodles. See you then and thank you for looking at and reading about my arts!
#Also this is me just rambling now but like where would I be without commas and parenthesis? I love using them#...as I'm sure you've noticed. But that jusy proves my point!!!#I've been so insane about drawing recently like I will sit down and fill a page or so withing like 30 minutes bc I get bored#(Idk how much that I'd in retrospect but per my usual rate that's a Lot!!)#I've been using Swiss bc I wanna decide what to do with him in the AU after Event...#I also project onto him a lot bc some of his personality really reflects my younger self#Although very traditional my mother raised me rather androgynous in terms of typical child stuff. I got to hang with boy and girl stuff so#Swiss has a few aspects of when i hadent (and admittedly still havent) really gotten past my pride or fear in favor of#Oh i don't know#Making friends??? Not being unintentionally or intentionally a jerk?#Fun little fact; it's not really that Swiss is a picky eater#But rather he has some Problems.....#Like that he's really puntable/j#Caspian has tried to have him answer. Anything without lying but unfortunately he just Does That Sometimes#Sometimes it's not even on purpose. Odd but it happens!#Anyways. I could go on and on but it's almost midnight over here....I really am.like Babblong jajaja ○u○#□ yolo watch 2!#yokai watch#●posts from yomakai#yo kai watch#I'll just tag those with at least 3 appearances methinks#Aswell as ocs bc I flatter myself!!#Caspian ykw#Swiss ykw#Kerosque#Fuwhirl#McKraken#Dr Maddiman#Baddinyan#Casanuva
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creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9c2ad721fe19e7f0b347686fd16f8215/4eaeaaf4a57c29ae-d3/s540x810/e619495e3f5d55331b5ec2afbd0e2914c4b967f1.jpg)
#just now i was feeling shitty and scrolling through youtube until i saw someone had posted a clip of the buddy monologue from that show#and the clip just happened to include my cameo!! so i may be just sitting in my childhood bedroom still unpacking from college at 2am#but on my phone is the image of me sharing the stage with my favorite comedian in front of over a thousand people#so y'know life isn't always one thing. i'm capable of being bored and stressed but also capable of THIS#i wanted to comment on the video to say hi but the original uploader's comments were off#but this did make me feel a lot better bc oh my god that was such a fun weekend#i should text scott soon to let him know i'm done with college. and see if i can make new year's a tradition again#i met scott on new years (and even tho i'd talked to bellini before it was also the day we met irl for the first time)#and last year i managed to convince paul to invite me and scott and some other friends over for new years bc i wanted it to be a tradition#not sure if paul's up for it this year but i did ask scott about it last time i was in toronto#when i asked his plans for new years he said he might be out of town (which is okay)#but then when i explained it was the anniversary of when we first met he was like ''no actually i'll be here'' which was funny#my friendships with bruce and paul are generally in a similar place to where we were at the beginning of the year#(like obviously knowing each other longer makes us closer but our dynamic hasn't changed which is still positive bc we were already friends#but holy shit december 2023 jessamine and scott are like unrecognizable compared to december 2024 jessamine and scott#and the fact that we technically haven't even known each other for two years is WILD like it won't be two years until the 31st#anyway i'm getting rambly i'm tired i should sleep. my circadian rhythm is messed up and the lighting problems in my room are not helping#goodnight everyone see you tomorrow for more nonsense
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It’s not going away, so get used to it! (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#DAX#Dexter Favin#Stepping back a bit! I'd been ignoring my concept art page lol#I wasn't sure if I'd actually finish any of them but some are silly and fun and I like them! So yes! Here they are!#ZEX is so empathetic to his human body <3 It's sweet! He wants his own body for lots of reason but that's among them! It's cute!!#It really is the worst situation for everyone :') Max needs his body back and ZEX doesn't want it and Dexter and DAX and - The Whole Thing!#DAX on the other hand lol#Neutrality to humans + being a bit self-sacrificing to the benefit of his Admiral = ???#DAX no (lol)#I imagine a Dexter wake-up (if he believed anything that happened to DAX Actually happened which - unlikely) he'd at least be like#''Would I really die for Max?? Like /that/ hard???'' Haha#I really like him using ''what the hell'' like - maybe more than would be considered normal lol#I still have that Vargas brainrot of who capitalizes deities and who doesn't - Dex does and Max doesn't <3#And ZEX does but is agnostic(?) - I'm fascinated by the religiousity! Cultural influence and understanding of self!!!#There have been So many times that I have wanted to write ''What the [expletive]'' or ''What on Earth'' but like - this is DAX!#Not Dexter! Not a human!#He wouldn't use those turns of phrase but he has the Energy of those sayings so what do fill in#I need a glossary of VUX swears#Hehe - VUX swear jar#Getting used to that new center of gravity! :D I imagine Dex as being shorter than DAX and Max is even shorter than /him/ so ♪#Last one was still technically a concept sketch but actually from an initial-writings so not at the institute but yes still Dex-DAX hehe#Where could he be! Who could he see! I wonder ♫
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Venom!Hobie Cat-Symbiote AU!
Okay so I might have made an AU of my AU...
It's based on my Venom!Hobie au but with a slightly (?) lighter tone in the sense that Hobie actually gets along well with his symbiote. Though they initially mostly get along due to shared mutural trauma... (But more about that later)
This version of the symbiote is more animalistic and usually communicates with Hobie through emotions- sorta projecting its own emotions and feelings towards him to let him know how it feels about something, though it might also communicate via single words or short sentences but that's pretty rare.
So, I'll do like I did in my original Venom!Hobie post and focus on the Design first:
Since they get along the symbiote feels safe around Hobie and thus it'll often "extend" itself outside of him and take the shape of a (freaky looking) cat - Kinda like how VENOM is able to partially seperate itself from Eddie while still being tethered to him:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/13b671b0878c1f11d5cc2063949d51b4/a198b35cbbfdf134-80/s540x810/551996026f9a2ee860830d5355026cc3a8646f0f.jpg)
Like this but they actually get along and the symbiote looks kinda like this:
(Once again- I CANNOT draw but the brainrot is stronger so I need to share this)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4b38b9fb5b48b60a6b4409a2cbff83a0/a198b35cbbfdf134-b4/s540x810/14c0c0b1b555f575f2790fa0638e9a9274d91a90.jpg)
(I didn't draw the symbiote goo that would extend from it to tether it to Hobie but it's there I swear!)
Since this is Spider-Punk's symbiote I wanted some of the spikes to carry over in this design
I haven't quite decided if it should have the "running-mascara" look (buttom drawing) for its eyes like Spider-Punk's mask has or not so lemme know what you guys think?
The spikes are used as a way for it to communicate to others as a way to make its body language more expressive (though it only shows itself around people it really trusts so it rarely uses them as it still just communicates its emotions directly to Hobie when it needs to)
And like with Venom!Hobie the spikes are reminiscent of symbiote teeth
When it's relaxed/happy the spikes will be pressed down towards its body - making it easy to pet- if somebody would dare approach it that is
Hobie pets it a lot as it usually sits on his shoulder when he walks around (when there's nobody around that is)
The symbiote is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Hobie doesn't mind but most other people find it rather unpleasant to touch
The "fuzzy" look is just the symbiote goo trying to imitate cat fur
The reason the symbiote takes this form is partially because it's more animalistic and likes physical affection (from people it trusts, it will bite your hand off if it doesn't like/trust you and you try to pet it) and partially because Hobie is a cat person and it used it as a method to make Hobie like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Hobie calm down and still does
It's gotten pretty good at mimicking cat noises including purring
It'll usually stay on Hobie's shoulder or sit in his lap like this, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways
If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises
Okay now we move on to the
Origin:
This is my current headcanon for this AU but as always feel free to share your thoughts/ideas/inputs if you have any <3
Hobie and the symbiote "met" at one of Oscorp's labs
Hobie was living as a homeless teen (13-14 years old having escaped an abusive household a few months prior) and was captured by Oscorp to be used for their symbiote experimentations
Hobie was an easy target as he had just been bitten by the radioactive spider a few hours prior and thus he was starting to suffer from the fever the bite gave him
Hobie was to be fused with a new kind of symbiote
The symbiote had been made to make people more susceptible to orders- making them less inclined to think for themselves
But in order to make that possible the symbiote had been put through some rather painful and extreme experiments- making it more "dead" than alive at this point
When it's fused with Hobie, who's still very sick at this point, the spider bite is still working its magic on Hobie's body and thus it also partially heals the symbiote
Both Hobie and the symbiote are terrified of their situation as they're put in holding cells made specifically for symbiotes.- Their only comfort is each other.
The symbiote takes on the cat like appearance to soothe Hobie after being subjects to a particularly bad experiment
Since Hobie's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Hobie's new powers)
Due to the symbiote Hobie develops a taste for human flesh
And he gets his first taste of it as he manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on their way out as possible. (This is also the first time they fully transform into Venom!Hobie)
He would later return and burn the lab down completely.
As a result of their treatment at the lab + Hobie's past with his abusive family, both him and the symbiote have developed a deep distrust to other people.
Which is also why Hobie isn't trying to get rid of the symbiote, he considers it his only friend for a long time.
Hobie still loves playing music (which is also how he eventually makes new friends) but has had to make some adjustments due to the symbiote, thus he usually uses both earplugs and noise cancelling earmuffs when he's playing and even then he still gets migraines if he plays for too long or too loud
He still craves human flesh and will usually target cops or anyone associated with Oscorp to sate his hunger.
He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)
He still operates as Spider-Punk but for a long time he's mostly fueled by his hatred for Oscorp and how they treated him and the symbiote
But as he slowly learns to open up to people he starts to shift his focus onto figting to help people and make the city safer (which means he'll still target cops and Oscorp employees but that's not his only focus anymore) (he also makes an effort to actually save civilians at this point)
Though due to the symbiote and their past this version of Spider-Punk is more prone to just straight up killing his villains (+ he still gotta eat right?)
But I'd like to imagine that this version of Hobie also finds his own community who help him out and accept both him and the symbiote
Giving them kind of a "happy" ending despite this version of Hobie being more messed up and unhinged...
Once again this turned out way longer than I intended lol (I just can't shut up about Venom!Hobie, the brainrot is real!)
Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 <3 <3
(And please let me know if you have any thoughts/inputs/questions about anything I wrote! The brainrot is real and I'll never get tired of talking about this guy)
Also click here if you wanna read more about my Venom!Hobie concept <3
#I'm realising I basically wrote a small fic in the origins section lol#might turn it into a full fic one day? not sure since I kinda spoiled a lot of it here ^^'#will I ever be able to shut up about Venom!Hobie?#no.#I love this guy so much#I could talk about them forever#this was just supposed to just be a short post about the cat symbiote#but I love stuff like this#speculating and coming up with different stories like this is so much fun#especially if they have a lot of ANGST#and yes I know the lab experiment trope has been used a thousand times before but there's a reason behind that!#if it ain't broke don't fix it#also this was the only scenario I could come up with were Hobie would actually bond with his symbiote lol#cause shared trauma <3#but I'd love to hear from you guys if you have other ideas!#please#I wanna talk about my boy <3#also this isn't my official headcanon for Venom!Hobie#just a fun au of my au lol#cause I wanted hobie to have a symbiote cat#and that led to all this#also sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or erros but it's literally almost 2 am here lol#I am TIRED#but I wanted to finish this post before I went to bed so here you are <3#venom!hobie#hobie brown#spider punk#venom hobie#cat symbiote#spider man across the spider verse
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?
#lynx thinks#oh nooooooooooooooooo#nooooo i can feel the urge to be crazy and act on my hubris#ive just been talking to the grad students in the theater program and theyre taking like 9 credits a semester#and its all stuff that seems interesting or fun or at the very least useful unlike my undergrad degree#and im like... i can already sew as well as if not better than these grad students. i can for sure draw better for any designs i come up w#heck i can draw better than the current head costume designer faculty member for the university#so the little overcommitting gremlin in my brain is like ''yoi could totally do it. do it.''#and the other part of me is like ''im already so tired just from working again after needing to recover from burnout. how would i even?#so I'm sitting here Thinking about it...#a masters degree in theater might be better for finding work at a pre-existing institution than just a bachelors in art#and it might be better than a masters in art too#I'd have to stop taking commissions completely probably if i did it for the sake if time#but if i somehow got an assistantship position? then maybe?? i could do it?#oooooooh i hrm so hard y'all#its only been a week since moving and ao much is still in boxes. im only working part time but I'm tired now so much#idk if its just because my stamina levels have atrophied or what but im so. tired. these days#and by these days i mean in the last week.#maybe a week isn't long enough of a sample to work from.#im hoping my energy levels will even out a bit but with the time zone change and the fact that I'm almost 30 I'm not sure if it will?#so thats worrying#i actually kind of see why people seem to drink coffee every day now#I've definitely been eating a lot more normally since i started. both in timing and quantity#i still have projects of my own to work on i cant afford to be so eepy orz
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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you guys know that tiktok audio about homosexual audacity and thinking you can do anything with no prior experience? "no i've never done that but i'm gay so how hard could it be?" that's me right now having almost no knowledge of computers but wanting to build by own pc
#like i know enough to know what i want. but what makes a computer actually run??? no fucking clue#BUT. i bought a gaming laptop like two years ago and it's already crapped out on me. and it's at a repair shop right now but because#it doesn't have standard parts (it's an acer nitro 5 17-inch) it's gonna cost like $750 to replace the motherboard and get it working again#and i bought the thing for $1500. so what the fuck#plus i've been thinking lately that i want to upgrade to an actual pc because i'm not in school anymore and don't currently need a laptop#and when i DID buy my laptop a couple years ago i didn't do enough research about what specs i wanted and i can't actually run#a lot of the games i want to play. so if i do decide to get it fixed i'd also want more storage and GPU. so it would be even more expensive#SO. i'm like. i can either pay like $1000 to fix my laptop which might crap out again in another year or two and need more uncommon parts#replaced. or i can buy a prebuilt pc which would be like $1800 if i'm getting everything i want.#OR i can build my own pc. and still get everything i want BUT in the process i will also learn how to build a computer (and thus how to#fix any problems that arise) and i can make sure to use common parts that can be replaced if they need to be. right?????#idk i kinda think it might be fun. and i've been wanting to learn the basics of computers for a long time because it seems like very useful#skills to have in life. and people say that this is a good way to learn and that it's not THAT hard to do because there's so many resources#and guides online to help you figure out how to do it.#like am i crazy for wanting to do this????#mine
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#not to be romantic on main but my boyfriend is the sweetest person in the entire world#I've always been self conscious about sharing my writing in person because my family used to shut me down a lot#not in a mean way like I know they care about me and I can be obnoxious because I babble a LOT and it's a bit Much yknow#but I've trained myself to shut down the rambles before they stop even with my own best friends who I Know would listen#They all knew I wrote but I think I'd known them for like four years before I told them the *plot*#but my boyfriend is so so so patient and lets me ramble as much as I want and reads whatever I send him#and hes even coming to the conference with me this weekend#because he knows I get overwhelmed in big crowds and he wants to be there for me even though he doesn't write#hes just overwhelmingly supportive and it makes me so happy and I'm so blessed to have him#I'm here like you know its a really long drive and its going to be a busy day and i'm going to be networking#it won't really be fun for you are you sure you want to come you don't have to come if you dont want to come#but he's insisting he wants to go and ahh <3#etta rambles#etta rambles in the tags#delete later
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2, 9 for LOK?
✨ love your fandom ask game ✨
2. A headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!
Ooh this one is kinda tough~ I'm generally rather removed from the fandom at large so I actually don't really know of a lot of popular headcanons out there, let alone ones I initially didn't like and came to like~ I really only ever consumed content about Baatar and Kuvira as they're my favorites, and with them I'd either like a headcanon outright, or dislike it outright. I will say, at least in the limited fan content I've consumed, there is a common idea of Baatar having gone to university in Ba Sing Se for a period of time. I've seen at least 3 folks use that in their writings for him, and while it was never something I was "unsure" about, I didn't initially include the idea in my version of him. I don't know who penned that headcanon first but I was always hesitant about being seen as "copying" anyone lol. I do like the idea though, especially with my very codependent versions of Baatar and Kuvira, some time apart like that during their "good years" would be rather interesting, since they have been in each other's lives for most of their lives, Baatar choosing to go where Kuvira can't follow- even for a short period of time, I can see her holding against him for a little while. Especially with her preexisting abandonment issues.
9. A ship that isn't your OTP but you enjoy
Once again I'm pretty singularly invested in Baatar and Kuvira but there are definitely some canon and fan ships that I like! Canon wise I'll always have a soft spot for Bolin and Opal, just because they're cute and I like the potential dynamic it creates with Baatar specifically. A lot of it is pretty contingent on my rewrite versions, but what can I say, I'm a bit of a sucker for puppy love. Lyn and Kya was an early ship I'd see in the fandom that I always was like *Kermit nodding gif* ooh yeah I like that, and I've also seen Lyn and Bumi which I also really like, but I never really delved into fan works of either admittedly. I'll confess that lately the crack ship of Baatar and Zhu Li has been on my mind, but definitely not as a positive ship in any way, more like a mutually waged psychological warfare that they aren't even trying to hide from each other kind. I don't remember what sparked the idea- I'm not usually one for crack ships as I tend to be pretty single-ship through and through, but it's been a fun dynamic to think about, especially the kinds of conversations they'd have.
#Ask Matsu#LoK Thoughts#[ The Baatar/Zhu Li thing is something I'd love to play with but it definitely would not be canon to my main AU lol#as fun as that would be Baatar does not expend any more energy on people than he needs to save for Kuvira and to a lesser extent Bolin#But the idea of him and Zhu Li waging war with each other behind the scenes is very interesting to me#especially with her really just trying to get information she can use against them out of him#and he's fully aware of that and just letting whatever happens happen to both see how far she'll take it but also to keep the leash drawn#in the event she actually choses to do something drastic#also for the sake of clarity Kuvira would be 100% fully aware and find it entertaining on a number of levels#her and Baatar do not keep secrets#she was probably the one to be like “lol you should see where that's going”#though I do think Baatar and Zhu Li would have some very interesting conversations#they're in very similar positions and I'm sure he'd wanna know why she put up with Varrick for so long#i mean he'd have a good guess but he'd wanna hear what her rationale is in her own words#and on Zhu Li's part she wants to know what twisted Baatar up so bad#but she'd also find a lot of his viewpoints about being a non bender rather gratifying#because he's willing to say out loud what a lot of people don't want to hear#I didn't meant to go on about that singular aspect lol but it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately#and crack-ships are rather new for me so this is uncharted territory#does this even count as a crack ship tho? maybe not#it definitely started out as “hehe the two glasses people on the train” but now it's like “hehe psychological warfare”#idk maybe it still counts lol ]#orangepanic
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