#this turned into a bit of a vent sorry
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Slowly but surely, I got some more writing today. I'm hoping that now that I'm getting used to the orientation schedule, I'll be able to finish at least another two chapters of Once Bitten in the next 2.5 weeks before orientation ends, because if not, then I probably won't be able to write during my EM-Peds rotation. I think ortho after that is "only" 50-60 hour weeks, so maybe then?
I dunno, it just feels really weird to know that I'm hitting that part of my training where inpatient rotations are going to be 72 hour weeks (12 hours a day, 6 days a week) and it's a genuinely relevant part of our orientation to be reminded that we have to let our attendings know if we're going to break the 80 hour workweek limits. We get lectures on wellness from admin people who have never worked more than a 40 hour week, and then the psych program director comes by and says, "Yeah, no, you guys are going to be unwell. You will get burned out, and when you meet all of the clinical criteria for depression and think that you need medication, here's my personal number. Call me with whatever you need, and I will also be able to tell you whether you're depressed or if it's residency," because that's the actual triage he can offer given that the problem with resident wellness isn't that we don't know how to take care of ourselves, it's that we're worked to the bone across the board.
Isn't it just wild that this is, like... considered normal?
Anyway, I know that I'll be able to handle it, I appreciate that the actual social culture of our program is full of nice people, and I'll get through it and it's temporary, etc, etc, but I just really want to finish Once Bitten before I get too tired to write for another extended period of time. I don't mind taking breaks from writing, but I like for my projects to be finished so they're not hanging out at the back of my mind. So that's my goal!
#personal#dear diary#this turned into a bit of a vent sorry#sometimes I feel like a crazy person for hearing “12 hours a day / 6 days a week” and thinking that's absolutely fucking insane#because EVERYONE is like “yeah it's hard but it's normal”#but then my mom texts me like “is that legal???” and I remember that I am not crazy it's residency training that's insane lol#I think part of it is that it's very normalized in medicine to NOT HAVE A LIFE outside of medicine#so not having time for hobbies or sports or spending time with family isn't like. considered nuts.
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Still laughing about how they didn't want to "invalidate" anyone's worldstate. But that is exactly what they did.
Morrigan is the most obvious, I really cannot believe that a Morrigan who was a mother would have so willingly taken into her something like Mythal if she was a mother - of at this point - a 10 year old Kieran. Maybe she would, but it would be for different reasons.
Isabela is the most annoying to me. She's talking about how "Kirkwall taught her about family." as if she couldn't have been given up by Hawke to the Arishok. As if she couldn't have ran away from Kirkwall and never looked back. If I had met an Isabela from a world state like that, she would never have said that.
Harding talking about the Inquisition also feels like it misses some... extra flavour here and there based on actual choices. Like my Inquisitor didn't do well with Blackwall, and he didn't survive to see the end of the game. But Lace speaks about him fondly and in such a way that I don't think she should if the Inquisitor never 'redeemed' him.
Zevran is never mentioned by name, but what if a warden outright killed the assassin hunting them. Or he turned on them in Denerim and died later? Then explain to me that entire banter Lucanis has with Harding about why House Arainai messed up so bad they went trough several Talons about it. And now the Crows don't take contracts in Ferelden anymore.
At that point the reason that was given to us for the lack of worldbuild choices to prevent 'invalidating everyone's worldstate' feels null and void. Because you have. You have invalidated many worldstates already by bringing back these character or have people talk around them in such a way that doesn't make sense.
#dragon age#bioware critical#veilguard critical#datv#datv spoilers#sorry i got the isabela line again today and it made my anger resurface#its my main complaint mostly because of how the devs tried to placate us and how it ended up turning out#and it felt like they fucking lied to our faces about it because of it.#i can generally even deal with it because it's not even /that/ much.#and i like the game so much outside of this so i can bite my tongue for the most part#i just needed to get some of the anger out ig.#might delete this post later we'll see. i just wanted to vent for a bit.
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My old art teach who taught me so much and helped me prepare my college portfolio now full on supportive of AI art and videos they even opened classes dedicated to it, they post oh so proudly of how fast the students in their ai class ‘improve’ and how ‘efficient’ they draw. They’re a great artist I looked up to them since middle school but now they don’t even draw anymore all they post is AI stuff because it’s “where the future is headed traditional art is not worth it anymore” I don’t know how to feel maybe disappointment but mostly just hollow
#bearz rambling tag#cw ai#cw ai art#tagging this bc ik people don’t like this topic#I dont either#vent#man the feeling of having someone you look up to turning against what you fight for you whole life#I know it’s probably truly where the future is heading#it just#hurts a little bit#ya know#sorry for#talking a lot lately#I am drawing#will post later in the future m
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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some random chronically online fandom and shipping thoughts #1
I just feel like ARMYs who are very obviously Y/N’s have NO reason to be judging shippers. I think it’s funny how some of them are so genuinely defensive and put off by shipping in a way I can tell is personal lol (it’s giving jealousy!). I totally understand people not liking shipping/shippers but I’ll never accept judgement from a Y/N, sorry! If you’re posting about only ONE member in a really thirsty manner after every AYS trailer and then turning around and saying “ugh, jkkrs are so annoying and delusional, jikook are brothers!” I know what you are! 🫵
slurping up all these AYS teasers like a starving animal but I’m starting to feel like they’re showing us too much now 😩 don’t spoil all the cute parts please BH!
only extremely sad and chronically online losers think that mass liking hate tweets actually means anything in the real world. a lot of these people need to get a life and go touch grass because the obsession with jm is truly weird and sad.
not everyone who wants th to appear in AYS is a tkkr, because it’s normal for ARMYs to want to see as many members as possible, but it’s kind of obvious with the ones who bring it up every chance they get lol, or the first thing they look for in a new AYS teaser, or just the specific way they talk about it. and my god are there a lot of tkkr ARMYs
I’m self aware that I’m pretty heavily biased, but there’s nothing worse than the ARMYs who hide under the OT7 visage but are CLEARLY heavily biased themselves. I simply do not like hypocrites, maybe some of them are in denial about it, idk. ofc there’s nothing worse than the ones who cosplay and try to create havoc in ARMY spaces, but that’s an entirely different thing. with that said, i’m convinced that at least 90% of active ARMYs are heavily biased at this point and we’d all be better off if they could simply just admit it.
perhaps this is my own bias so feel free to disagree, but imo ARMYs very clearly have a different sort of energy for jm antis and I think its partially because his hate has been so damn normalized in this fandom after years of tkkrs, but also because clearly a vast majority of the ARMY sh*oter accounts are diet solos and tkkrs and they always put an extra amount of scrutiny on things related to jm. they're also the first to bring shipper/solo drama into ARMY spaces (but only when it impacts their ship/bias) and they’re very clearly obviously lurking in solo/shipper territory to find it the way they do. the silence right now from certain accounts really does speak volumes.
sort of related, but the best way to gain a big following on ARMY twt is to get involved in whatever current drama is going on, for example MHJ drama, boycott drama, general fanwars. ARMYs will flock and mass follow these accounts, and a lot of them are diets who gain a platform and then spread their diet narratives later. one really good example is that elo person if anyone remembers all that, they literally were moots w/ tkk akgaes & calling them bestie but rebranded after they started gaining a mass following for “doxxing” and they started gaining attention because they were “debunking” the OG taennie icloud leaks (lol ofc they were a tkkr doing that). anyways they were awful and did a lot of harm, but they got that platform bc a lot of ARMYs flock to toxic accounts like that, especially when somethings going on, and then they’re impossible to cancel.
last shipping thought but we all know why tkkrs and y/n’s are jealous and weird towards jkk but sometimes its actually the same case for a lot of the other bts shippers, especially jk x hl shippers (like what's w/ all the j*nkookers lol) & yoonm*n. and there’s a lot of ARMYs who fall into this category actually. even if they don’t believe their ship is real, sometimes they still feel a bit passive aggressive/jealous bc they would prefer whatever content was with their bias/self-insert instead. theres so many jkk moments that have been really badly OT7’d, like I’ve never seen anything like the way almost the entire fandom rewrote history to make that jk binging jm content jk binging bts content (its legit wild to me).
and ill never forget during the disney docu when someone pointed out how jk likely knew jms apartment password and it got ratio’d at over 4k by someone saying “he probably knows all his hyungs passwords!” and it wasn’t even funny or clever lmao, it was very much giving
anyways, i believe this is one of the reasons sometimes ARMYs at large are weird towards jkk bc even outside of just tkkrs there are a LOT of HL shippers who take it pretty personally, especially if they’re the sort that projects onto one of the members in their ship. tbh, even if it’s not shipping, it’s a bias line thing where they want to fight over jm/jk being closer to their bias than they are to each other.
its whatever and just a petty complaint lol, i dont care who ppl ship/bias but i do find it annoying sometimes bc there are always ppl constantly downplaying jkks friendship and picking it apart and trying to OT7-ify it more than any other duo. its like ppl are really obsessed & its tiring. just give jkk their flowers sometimes and move on, you know? you definitely do not need to ship them or see them as romantic, but just respect their bond and the things about it that are unique to them, god
alright was just getting this out of my system because I was focused on positive vibes only for MUSE, will be going back to (mostly) positive vibes for AYS!
#personal rambles#discourse#sorry y'all#im just being a bit chronically online right now#because im avoiding certain things#also excitement for AYS and MUSE era#brought me back here more than usual#plus tumblr is nice and chill when other places are stressful#editing to add a number because im turning this into a vent series lol#vent series
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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I wanna draw razzle in a ship but I don't know who to ship him with? I'm not super fussed on who it is? But it doesn't really feel right to ship him with tugger or misto but also I don't particularly feel like making a new oc either I'm just in general not feeling too great
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yeah david, we know
[from his bluesky thread]
#dragon age#sorry for tagging and turning off reblogs - i'm just sick of this guy and needed to vent in a small way where he can't see#the art style 'leaves [him] a bit cold'??#really?? even though it's just the natural progression from the last game he did work on?#i don't think games need big personalities like this#even for people i like - i don't think josh sawyer needs to be the face of obsidian#and i don't think we need to take his word as gospel#and i've met that guy and he's lovely!#similarly i don't really care what gaider thinks#and his personality and responses have always been bleh#bleh on a good day.
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I've been seeing lots of takes lately with people feeling hatred towards part 2 Speedwagon for being a greedy capitalist who probably exploited people and done some shady stuff to become wealthy because there was '''no way he could have become rich just from oil money'''... thoughts?
it's so disappointing to see some bad takes about the Speedwagon Foundation being some "acshually nasty organization" and about Speedwagon supposedly becoming some heartless rich man popping up again. And like, I shouldn't even be surprised at this point considering how the average "Jojo fan" mistreats Part 1 and 2 and alllll the misinformation they love to spread about them and about some characters in particular, often bastardizing them into wildly out of character versions and pretending those fanons are canon for whatever reason (being Speedwagon one of the characters that gets bastardized like that the most), sometimes just to make Blorbo Of Their Choice look better by throwing every other character under the bus, sometimes just because people can't be bothered to pay attention to the og if there are no punching ghosts on sight (and even then, Jojo parts featuring stands get misinterpreted a lot too).
This is gonna be long, so let me start by saying that if y'all really believe that Speedwagon somehow became some nasty ass rich man, then you're completely misinformed and you (and I say "you" in general and not specifically you anon) might benefit from rereading/rewatching the source material and actually paying attention to the plot and details this time.
Like, I've seen people assuming that the Foundation only researched the stone mask and eventually stand stuff, and completely forgetting that one of the literal main goals and also one of the biggest things the Foundation does is seeking for the betterment of the planet as a whole (preserving nature, wildlife, etc) as well as for the betterment of medicine and health care, actually seeking for the best for all humankind, this in addition to all the secret branches it has for the research of supernatural phenomena like stands, stone masks, pillar men, and so on in order to prevent as many incidents with them as possible and prevent the loss of as innocent lives as possible.
Sure, the people working for those latter branches might get into deep trouble sometimes whenever some jerk with a stone mask or a stand starts some shit, but, another thing jojo fans tend to conveniently forget is that those employees are working for the secret/non-public branches of the Foundation. We as audience know about them because we are let into seeing them working as part of the narrative, however, the public in general within the story DO NOT KNOW about the existence of those branches or what they do. Pillar men, stone masks, stands and the research around them are kept in secret in order to prevent any sorts of chaos and ensuing panic, among other safety reasons.
The people working for those branches are specialized or at least have some prior knowledge on those fields they work in (you'd think it is a MUST considering they are being let in on sensitive information that could be super detrimental for the planet and for humankind if it fell in the wrong hands), meaning that those employees already know and are fully aware of the kind of stuff they're going to deal with there from the start. They weren't deceived into it, and the fact that the employees remain loyal to Speedwagon from start to end and respect and follow his will, even long after his death, denotes that there was some deep and mutual respect and appreciation there, something you can't earn through exploitation, and definitely something these people wouldn't have done had Speedwagon been the heartless tyrant rich old man some people with a lack of media literacy want to believe and make others believe he was.
If people paid just a wee bit more attention to earlier Jojo parts, they would have realized it was all spelled out from the beginning too! Speedwagon expressly states from the very start his disgust and hatred towards the rich, being the Joestars the only exception to that due to them being genuinely kind persons, unlike most other wealthy people out there. He was also implied to have been dirt poor for most of his life and was also stated to have lived in the slums at least up to PB's main timeline. There were never any indications or signs that showed that he ever betrayed those roots of his by siding with the rich against the poor over the years. Instead, he's been using his funds to make the whole world a better place for everyone, not only by improving health care and access for all people as well as the environment (which would actually show a sense of duty from him as he is counteracting whatever negative impact his oil company may have had on the planet), but also providing all the aid he can against supernatural threats.
And not just that, but he's also kept some of his connections with the crime world over the years. However, rather than using those connections for selfish goals, he makes use of them to workaround the system in cases like Lisa Lisa's, where he used all those influences he had to help her go successfully into hiding after killing the zombie that murdered George (an undercover zombie that was actually a higher up within the army and who everyone believed to be a regular human, hence their chasing after her to make her pay for that "crime" she had supposedly committed). Additionally, if you know anything about big companies and organizations, you'll know that the law is also not always there to protect regular people, and sometimes, it will cater to the more profitable goals, as well as some businessmen actively being shady af and "hindering" their rivals for their own benefit. The Speedwagon Foundation being an organization that vouches and actively works for the wellbeing of people would have probably ruffled countless feathers among those who seek for a personal gain, to say the least (think of the hijackers that tried to kidnap him, as shown in the flashback in BT, i.e). This is also where those connections he keeps with criminals come into play, as there are never any mentions about Speedwagon doing shady stuff through them nor using them to pursue some personal goal, which hints at the fact that he keeps and uses those nexus as means of protection against actual enemies. Defense rather than offense, if you will.
Also, lets not forget that Speedwagon found his reason to change his ways when he met Jonathan, and that a lot of the things the Foundation does are things Jonathan himself would have gone into had he not passed away (the archaeological research, the deep studying of the stone mask -which eventually led to the discovery of the pillar men just in time before their awakening-, all in order to prevent more incidents like the whole thing with Dio from happening, and so on). It's downright silly to think Speedwagon would even think of betraying Jonathan and his memory by using not only the second chance he received from Jojo himself, but also using the literal monument Speedwagon built to honor the deep bond and mutual affection the two had back when Jonathan was alive for some selfish goal.
And also, lets not forget how disgusted he was with Dio and every single vile thing he did to everyone. Do you really think he would want to follow a path similar to his, in which people are just another step for him to walk all over?? If so, then you sure are completely wrong about who Speedwagon really is like.
Those "he became some nasty capitalist lol", pretending that Spw became some heartless and selfish wealthy man along the way for no reason, all despite the heaps of constant evidence the canon has presented, even long after Speedwagon's passing away in the story, that shows that that was never the case only go to show that people are lazy and that paying attention to the story and the details in it is just something some Jojo fans will actively refuse to do and then will make the worst bullshit takes up about it.
Also?? People do realize that it's possible to become rich and not be some piece of shit?? Like, sure, I do agree that most wealthy people irl ARE shit and scummy af, but there will always be a few exceptions, you just don't always see them because the real kind ones don't go around telling everyone about every single kind act they do, they just put their money to good use to make their own employees lives better, or invest/donate money every chance they get to some organization of their trust and so on. Adding to this, do you all even realize people can't just throw money out of the window and that as a business person you always need to keep some capital to actually make your business thrive and so you can continue helping other people out in this case where BIG SUMS of money are being put to use in favor of actual civilians and people from all walks of life??
((Edit to add yet another Very Obvious display that Speedwagon never sided with the rich, not even in his older years: Smokey Brown! The kid is literally a mirror of Speedwagon’s own younger self in that both were criminals from the streets in a large city (London in Spw’s case, NY in Smokey’s), immersed in crime and poverty and most likely having to resort to crime as a mean to survive in a society that was even more classist (and also racist, and this can actually be seen in BT when one of the mafiosos starts spewing shit towards Smokey due to his skin color) than it is nowadays, both having no known parents or family either and having been most likely orphaned/abandoned. Had Speedwagon been this nasty ass rich man, he could have simply ignored Smokey or treated him poorly, or could have even turned him to authorities, considering Smokey’s criminal record just for the sake of “preventing him from stealing from him” or whatever. There was literally nothing Spw could benefit himself from by keeping Smokey around like he did, which is a core trait in abusive/exploitative people. However, he never did any of that. Instead, and despite the reigning classism and racism at the time, Speedwagon along with Erina always embraced Smokey from the start and basically became his godparents, never letting the kid go back to his life in the streets, providing him with everything he needed and making sure he received a proper education, which was something very few people of color (black people, specially) could receive. And yet, Speedwagon and Erina made it happen, very likely using some of Spw’s influences to allow Smokey go to the school (and eventually college too) of his choice without any stigma or trouble at all and covering all expenses for him. -end of edit-))
If this was, idk, the Metal Gear series or some other media that revolves around the topic of politics, then the whole "cRaPiTaLisM!!! >:O" thing would have some weight and be plausible as it directly impacts the main plot of the story. But here?? In Jojo's?? Where the main focus as stated by it's author himself is the strength of the human spirit overcoming obstacles in the face of actual evil??? Try harder.
And, before I get That One Type of fans yelling at me that "people don't just get rich without exploiting people in real life!!"… do you guys realize we're talking about animanga series where vampires, funky stone masks with spooky powers, pillar men, stands, people who can use some ancient sunpowered martial art, plankton that can turn into a sentient person, and so on can happen, right? And yet I don't see anyone whining that "tHaT DoEsN'T hApPeN iRl!!".
And like, if this whole claim stems from disliking Speedwagon, just say you don't like him and move the fuck on. You don't need to try to justify your disliking for him or for ANY other characters, let alone making up wildly out of character bullshit about them to try to prove to yourself and to everyone else why according to you the character is "bad". I promise you it is not a big deal to simply not vibe with a character.
#the lack of media literacy among some jojo fans is overwhelming i swear#its sad to see people constantly and completely misreading and bastardizing speedwagon into something he's not#like all those LAME takes about him being some soft pure uwu innocent scaredy bby#or the 'topkek reddit funni meemz XD!' abt him that some ppl lazily/unironically take as canon#or these silly and also wildly ooc takes on the foundation and him in part 2#really wish more people took the time to actually see and appreciate his character for what he actually is#sorry this got so long but i wanted to get this out of my chest bc i too saw one of those posts again and was like#BRU not this shit AGAIN#also.if i sound bitter its because i am genuinely sick and tired of the speedwagon slander and people completely misreading him#and turning him into something he is not and often completely ignoring him bc of that fanon image ppl have made of him#along with completely disregarding the fact that he's actually one of the most important characters in all jjba#and instead pretending or wrongly assuming that he was just some 'hehe funni meme uwu guy'#jjba#long post#bit of a vent / rant too#robert e o speedwagon#speedwagon#jojo#character analysis: speedwagon#phantom blood#battle tendency#speedwagon foundation#jojo's bizarre adventure#analysis: speedwagon foundation#character analysis#meta#ok to rb
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heyy i am pretty sure the protests that you are talking about are happening in my city and if so i just wanted to say i get being scared to go because i didn't go to them also because of being scared i will get hurt and not having a friendgroup to go with but your posts about it have meant a lot to me because there was no one i could talk to about it for a while so it was nice to see that on my dash when i felt frustrated
sorry if this is to invasive lol feel free to ignore :)
this was so not invasive, thank you for reaching out out of the ether, it's nice to see i am not alone in my fearfulness but also frustration about it, bc people usually relate to one or the other
#keeping up with them tho even tho i'm a scarecrow#it pushed me a bit to go tmrw since they are definitely more safe and symbolic and i know for sure the message cannot be spun bc there#will mostly be students and professors and i know there will be someone i know tmrw bc we will be studying in the library so you know#it's not like i can as easily go missing or hurt#and i also feared abt this turning into smth else bc it is not in front of any uni and i did not want to end up supporting smb instead of#smth and they have been kind of front lining the students whilst bitching abt how we decide and do things so just#i don't even know i'm sorry for venting more to you lol but i am happy i got this in the inbox
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hot take apparently but to me it’s tiring and boring and frankly a baffling way to approach tv or any other media to engage with fictional characters only to ‘judge’ them. like you can’t just let them make whatever mistakes they’re making or be as flawed and fucked up as they want without judging if they have behaved well enough for whatever standard you hold them up to and how they should correct their behaviour moving forward. are you watching a fictional show or filling up an employee evaluation sheet???
‘this character should have done this’ ‘that character should not have done that’ okay???? who cares. it would be supremely boring, not to mention unrealistic, if fictional characters only behaved in the most adequate perfectly reasonable way possible. so they fucked up? so they fucked up again and again and didn’t learn their lesson the first time? okay??? that’s life???
‘but we didn’t see this character learn from their mistakes and grow’. you ARE seeing it, it’s a process, not something that happens after ONE time they were confronted with their mistakes, especially if said mistakes are tied to one of their cardinal flaws rooted in the very essence of the character itself. it’s so much more interesting and rewarding to me as a viewer, not to mention easier for me to get attached to characters who are complete and utter messes, characters who stumble and fall, even when they should know better, characters who don’t immediately learn from their mistakes, who fail again and again, but keep trying to be better, and still through it all, they are loved, because they are deserving of it no matter what they think.
‘but this conversation should have happened sooner’ okay well it didn’t. people make dumb choices all the time, they act irresponsibly and unreasonably all the time, no matter how mature or level-headed they might be.
‘but this relationship doesn’t feel healthy’ okay here’s the thing: ‘healthy relationship’ has become just another buzzword that tiktok users throw around without understanding at all what it means. ‘healthy relationship’ doesn’t mean two people need to be on the same page about everything, it doesn’t mean mistakes are made once, dealt with and never made again; a healthy relationship isn’t based on 100% compatibility or perfect communication at all times and perfect solutions to every problem. it’s based on mutual respect and love and the willingness to make compromises, and to keep trying to understand each other better and choose each other every day. if there is a failure of communication or a disagreement or an inability to come to a perfect soultion for whatever issue, that in itself doesn’t make a relationship unhealthy. and honestly even if it did, so what? it’s fictional, it adds flavour! (not to mention expecting humans to always be perfectly emotionally healthy is... well not realistic, to say the least).
‘but they should learn to communicate better before they get married’ marriage isn’t some kind of prize that only perfectly functional couples are worthy of, some final achievement for the perfect relationship. relationships are changing and growing all the time, they don’t have to reach a perfect final level of ‘healthy’ before they can be awarded the prize of marriage. relationships keep evolving and couples keep learning more about each other all the time, during marriage just like before. the idea that a relationship is doomed unless it reaches its final form of perfection before marriage is crazy.
and on a final note, HOW do you watch a fictional couple that disagrees on having children work out not necessarily a final solution, but a compromise, with one of them admitting they have issues to deal with and trauma to process, and the other realizing that the kids issue is not a dealbreaker because ultimately what they want most is their partner, and come away thinking ‘well that’s not a very good relationship’?????
#911 lone star#tarlos#carlos reyes#tk strand#911ls#kind of just venting because i finally caught up with ls and the latest drama rip#sorry if this sounds harsh but my god this fandom is turning into kind of a miserable place#reminds me of the og fandom a bit#except that i think buddie fans act like this because they never quite get what they want#while tarlos fans are a bit too spoiled and so they find a way to turn a normally flawed relationship into the equal of an unhealthy one#like people are really saying that tk and carlos are incompatible and unhealthy because they don't like the same kind of pets#are we FOR REAL#i saw someone on twitter say that tarlos make loustat seem healthy in comparison#and as a loustat fan as well let me tell you that is a Hysterical take#i'm guessing it wasn't entirely serious but still#lol
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cw child abuse but I thought maybe my mum would finally be chill w/ us talking about the time she repeatedly shoved me into a room as punishment for having a panic attack at 8 years old but it turns out it's not chill and bringing it up still Makes Me The Asshole
#shes usually pre good about talking about childhood trauma stuff but for some reason this one subject makes her snap#she was like bragging about how she would always calmly talk us through our upset moments as kids and i was like... yeah 99% of the time#i was laughing a bit too trying to keep the energy chill#and she got defensive and asked about the 1% so i was like well you did lock me in a room for having a panic attack and her response was#it didnt lock from your side you could get out!!#like ma'am everytime i got out your 6'2 ass would charge down the hallway#pick me up and manhandle me back into the room as i desperately tried to escape#i can still remember the physical sensation of gripping onto my wooden doorframe while she pushed me in and thinking if i could just get to#the front door i could escape and ask an adult for help because my parents had turned on me#anyway sorry to vent just needed to get it out bc we spent hours together after i tried talking about it and its hard to act friendly when#im like hey can we talk about how you refuse to admit you had a part in abusing me#she wonders why i didnt talk to her re my dads grooming and its like ma'am i showed vulnerability and you rapunzeled me#i was not going to risk that twice
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Just a drawing that I've finished-
Mantra belongs to @deviousnarrator and Valentino (who's been turned into a YipYip) belong to me! ^-^✨
A teensy lil side note (summary of the ALT):
Also I'm...not really in the best situation and feeling pretty bad as of right now so I'll be inactive for quite a bit and pretty much refrain from being active or showing any forms of activity until things get better..my apologies hh..-
...
I..don't really know what else to put here..
Uh- anyway- yeah- just a lil drawing I made since I still had the idea in my head-
I'm still working on the story if some are still curious about that! And having much more ideas but like I said, I'll be refraining from expressing any of them and showing any signs of activity until I feel better! Hope y'all understand! <33
#Sorry this turned into a bit of a vent-#aCk-#tsp#tspud#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra delux#tsp narrator#tspud narrator#tsp lovebug narrator#paraverse#narratorverse#Günther/Wilted's Artworks#Mantra was fun to draw though xD#I kinda added extra detail- he's not wearing black lipstick by the way XDD#It's just a lil design thing- lol- xd
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me and the bad bitches i pulled by being autistic 😁
#gen thinking about it tho agrgrgrgrggrr#why does the thought of an online relationship scare me a bit????#im so bad at commitment if i do decide to date them id probably just want it to be platonic really#sorry this is turning into a vent augh#maple says some words
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I NEED TO DRAW SHIP ART
#i need to.... i need to..... I NEED TO#i'm so far in my own head that i've been worrying that nobody cares and will hate to see them and i don't wanna annoy my followers#even tho that's literally what you came here for#i hate how far i've fallen. my brain is poisoned. 2021 me would be so disappointed in current me#i need to draw them again. i need to talk about them again. i need to do something anything#it's MY ship and they make me happy#that's what should matter#wow sorry this turned into a bit of a vent that was unintentional fgvbjfgbf
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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