#this took forever but it was fun to do hehe
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azems-familiar · 1 year ago
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20 questions for fic writers
i was tagged by @voidcat-senket thank you!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
119!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
alright, this is excluding an approximately 470k-word series i orphaned years ago - 2,453,282
3. What fandoms do you write for?
it depends where the hyperfixation takes me, but it's usually going to be mostly star wars; era varies. right now, i'm actively posting for the Jedi: series games, but i also write for the kotor/swtor eras, and i did tcw fic back in the day. other fandoms i've written/posted for are doctor who, mdzs, and i poke at writing things for mass effect and dragon age from time to time, though i've never posted any of those. i've got a couple other fandoms i've dipped into for the purpose of fusions.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
oh boy. all of these are from like, 2019-2020 at LATEST, there's one on here that's from late 2017, but i wrote for a bigger fandom then and none of my good recent stuff will ever take over these spots because it's for smaller fandoms. alas. please do not take any of these as representative of my current fanon opinions XD
do you love me - this one is never leaving that spot. codywan arranged marriage fic from 2019 that is still very popular. i don't like a lot of the fanon tropes and things we used in that fic these days, but it's one of the longest finished fics i have and i can admit the plot was pretty well done. has 3394 kudos. (that's more than i remember.)
tell the world (i'm coming home) - the one where Vader defects during the events of Twilight of the Apprentice. mostly gen. has 2139 kudos
something inside this heart has died (you're in ruins) - codywan fic where Cody is in Kadavo. has the same issues as do you love me, but definitely has some of the best prose that i'd written at the time in it. has 1752 kudos
follow me (and i will bring you home) - i am not linking this one. a reylo fic i wrote back when tlj first dropped, very old and not among my better works whatsoever, but got popular at the time for being a big ship and posting shortly after a new movie. has 1497 kudos
i just wanna keep calling your name (until you come back home) - post-Order 66 codywan dreamsharing fic that i wrote for an exchange back in 2020. it has 1072 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i used to, and i try to get to them on my smaller fics/fandoms these days, but back when i was writing big tcw fics i got in the habit of not doing it because there were so many it was hard to keep up with, so it's a mixed bag of if i do or not these days. but i see all of them, and they all bring me joy. well, most of them. the ones that don't aren't worth mentioning
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
mmmmm that's a hard one. i tend to prefer angst with a happy ending, or at least a hopeful ending, but back in, idk, 2017? i wrote a rogue one fic based off the song whiskey lullaby that was.... pretty grim, lol.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
lord i have no idea. probably the series i mentioned above that was orphaned? it had a sickeningly sweet ending involving a wedding and a kid for the main pairing, and happy endings for basically every other ship involved.
8. Do you get hate on fic?
sometimes. not often, thankfully, and usually not on AO3 itself, but back in my ffn days i got some, i've gotten a few assholes about stuff before also, and people will sometimes come at me here, but yknow, whatever. i'm used to it by now and i mostly just laugh it off and either ignore it or you get a snarky response
9. Do you write smut?
.....rarely? sometimes? i used to have a hard no policy on it, but i was also raised evangelical with a biiiig taboo on that kind of shit, so i've been slowly working through that and trying to get outside my comfort zone on it for years. i've written a couple smutty things that aren't on AO3, one that is, and i'll be involved in writing smut outtakes for one of my currently-posting series, but i don't tend to enjoy straight up pwp so it'll usually have a character reason for it, or plot. usually.
10. Do you write crossovers?
i do not write crossovers. i do deeply enjoy writing fusions (taking the characters from one franchise and dumping them into the world/plot of the other, but they've always been there). i have a clone wars hunger games au that is still my little baby and a kotor/swtor hp au that is my OTHER baby because it has involved years of work to make the hp universe....functional and not shitty and whatnot.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge, though i've seen a few fics that made me squint suspiciously at them. it's definitely possible that something's been put on wattpad or something without me being made aware, but i don't actively look.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! the very lovely @anayaghmeya has translated all of my mdzs fics into russian. none of my star wars fics have been, to my knowledge, but i do have an open permissions statement for that sort of thing, so one day it might happen
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
oh yeah, many times. my old tcw fics were cowritten with @thelavenderhimbo; i write a lot of tor era stuff with @ipreferfiction (hiiii beloved) and a little with @sith-shenanigans though none of those have been posted anywhere yet; i'm writing a spyscrapper fic with @dream-of-tanalorr right now, and senket and i are technically cowriting by virtue of posting an RP we're doing to AO3. i like cowriting; when the vibes are good, it works much better for me than doing stuff on my own. i've had it go very badly in the past, but for the most part it tends to work out well
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
i absolutely will not pick one. that being said, the only reason i found my way to fandom at all is Doctor/Rose from Doctor Who, so i feel like i owe them a shout-out for this, lol
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?
oh, man, so many things. i really want to eventually finish all my tor-era novelization projects, but realistically those are such huge projects that with the ~mental illness~ it's gonna take a long-ass time if i ever do
16. What are your writing strengths?
these two questions are SUPER hard for me to answer because i deeply struggle with being objective about my own writing. i enjoy writing politics and political intrigue; i'm not so sure if i'm good at it, but i like it. i've been yelled at and informed i need to put "worldbuilding" and "getting deeply into characters' heads" in here as well, so i'm adding it. i like dialogue as well, i find it easier to write than other things, so that's going in here too.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
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apparently. lol. ANYWAY i do tend to struggle with combat - sometimes i can really hit it well when it's a strong emotional beat, but writing action scenes that aren't really important for characterization is soooo hard for me i hate it. also, coming up with subplots.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?
it.... depends. i used to overuse it, now i rarely do; generally speaking, if it's another language entirely that the POV character understands i'll shift it to italics or some other way of conveying that, if it's one or two words scattered in the meaning should be understandable via context and i'll provide translations at the end. i only rarely use non-English words if the character can't understand what's being said.
19. First fandom that you wrote for?
the first fandom i posted fic for was Doctor Who. back when i was a kid and didn't know what fandom was or what fanfic was, i wrote a few paragraphs of a story set in the Eragon universe, lol
20. Favorite fic you've written?
i've got a couple i want to put shout outs to in here. war has let this age begin (it's where we've gone and where they've been) is my dramatization of my Revan's Mandalorian Wars and i'm still really proud of it after 2 years; it was the first solo-written longfic i'd finished in quite a while, and i'm very attached to my Revan and everything i did with it. i really like this mdzs fic, he said, son, can you play me a memory that i wrote last year. and of course in terms of recent stuff: i HAVE to mention do you taste my pain in this bloodstained place for the amount of worldbuilding and plotting davi and i have done on it - it's the spyscrapper Bad Ending villain pov fic that breaks off from canon partway through Jedi: Survivor.
tags: @thelavenderhimbo @ipreferfiction @dream-of-tanalorr @darthsassacre @prowlingthunder and anyone else who wants to do this, feel free to use this as a tag! (io, i tagged you above for things, if you want to do it you Can but i know you don't usually do tag games so i'm not tagging you down here)
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sysig · 8 months ago
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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blizzardfluffykpop · 8 months ago
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recently reminded myself how much i loved day6 and i've just been having sm fun rediscovering old favorites and listening to new songs and just falling in love with them all over again-
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ivypool · 2 years ago
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stranger things, wings of fire, the last of us (tv and game), and the 100
stranger things
favorite male character: lucas and steve
favorite female character: el and nancy
least favorite character: nobody hates billy more than i do
prettiest character: nancy or robin
funniest character: erica
favorite season: s3 probably, even though i really do love all the seasons s3 is just so comforting to me. i just love the aesthetic of s3 and the elmax scenes, it’s just a really fun season, and summer 2019 was a pretty good time in my life so i have a lot of good memories associated with s3. also that’s when we were introduced to robin for the first time :’)
favorite episode: dear billy or mall rats
favorite romantic ship: i am elmax's #1 fan, i loved them since s2. i do also really love ronance, and some honorable mentions are byler, henclair, jargyle, steddie, buckingham and stonathan. i pretty much ship everything that isn’t canon LOL
favorite family ship: willel + jonathan, and i headcanon max & steve, max & nancy, steve & robin as all being familial relationships so i love those too
favorite friendship: the fruity four, scoops troop, will & robin, max & robin, max & the party, steve & the party (just the whole party with each other in general tbh)
worst ship: h*rringrove, or really any ship with billy in it since i saw some people shipping him with eddie too…if anyone’s reading this and you ship billy with anybody stay the hell away from me thanks. m*leven also sucks just let them be platonic besties pls
wings of fire
favorite male character: starflight my beloved
favorite female character: carnelian…she’s literally just a background character who appeared in one book but i love her so much she had so much potential. and i really like tsunami and snowfall too
least favorite character: riptide he sucks, he’s not even remotely interesting
prettiest character: glory or blaze
funniest character: qibli or sunny
favorite season (arc): the first arc will always hold a special place in my heart
favorite episode (book): i loved a dangerous gift so much
favorite romantic ship: a tie between blacier and snowlynx
favorite family ship: the dragonets of destiny, tsunami & anemone & turtle, glory & deathbringer (i headcanon them as familial instead of romantic)
favorite friendship: the jade winglet
worst ship: ripnami, glorybringer, any of the DoD shipped with each other
the last of us
favorite male character: this is a basic answer but joel. i love him sm he’s my dad
favorite female character: riley :((
least favorite character: if abby has 1000 haters im still one of them. if she has 1 hater its me. if abby has 0 haters it means i have left this world. (david also is obviously awful but my first instinct was to say abby)
prettiest character: dina <3
funniest character: ellie
favorite season: the first game is the only game. tlou 2 who?
favorite episode: left behind
favorite romantic ship: rellie and dellie
favorite family ship: joel & ellie, ellie & dina & jj, i also love ellie & tommy and ellie & tess
favorite friendship: ellie & sam, ellie & jessie & dina
worst ship: ellie with any man, ellie x abby is also a terrible ship though
the 100
favorite male character: murphy
favorite female character: octavia and clarke
least favorite character: honestly fuck kane, finn, titus, cage, cadogan and pike i hate them all. i’m also not a fan of abby
prettiest character: octavia and raven <3
funniest character: murphy although octavia had some funny moments in the earlier seasons too
favorite season: 2, 5, 6
favorite episode: either eden (s5 ep1) or nevermind (s6 ep7)
favorite romantic ship: niytavia, clexa, and lunaven are so special to me. i also like bellarkecho as an ot3
favorite family ship: CLARKE AND MADI they’re seriously everything to me
favorite friendship: clarke & raven, octavia & madi, echo & madi, madi & murphy, clarke & murphy, raven & murphy
worst ship: i can’t ship bellamy and clarke without echo, so b*llarke ig. i also don’t really care for raven & murphy romantically, i think they work better as friends, and maybe i’m really biased towards loving niytavia but i just hated octavia and levitt
leave a series in my ask box
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snailfen · 2 years ago
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the gourmand experience thus far: rotundness
#rain world downpour spoilers#rain world spoilers#FINALLY MADE A DENT OF PROGRESS IN DIRECTION. holy shit#but um most of my grocery list is done! a lot of stuff i needed was in shoreline. i also ran into an orange lizard in shaded citadel..???#im guessing it was a lineage step. cus i killed and ate a mole lizard for the list a cycle earlier. iirc orange lizards dont normally spawn#in shaded#ALSO MIRAHEZE UPDATED. thankfully you dont HAVE to kill a red centipede for the list! its either that or an aquapede. whew#so anyways i just went for that in shoreline#got a cyan in industrial#decided to make a quick stop at sky islands before heading to fp??? for some reason. took forever to find an eggbug jesus#its so funny what pebs says to gourmand. Gluttonous Beast..... rotundness. hehe#anyways i unlocked slugpups early through the cheats menu but never found any on survivor/monk. i ran into one at a karma gate shelter help#ITS FUNNY CUS I SAW PIPE LIGHTS INDICATING THAT SOMETHING LEFT WHEN I ENTERED THE SHELTER. IM AT THE TOP OF CANOPY#fucking NOTHING gets up there. so i popped back out. saw nothing. figured it was just a batfly. went back in. boom. baby jumpscare#so um. i have a baby now!!! im on my way to subterranean and i have two items left. so smooth sailing from here#still need to come up with a name for the little guy.... i wanna do a title like the campaign slugcats? theyre a white slugpup#oh god i have to be responsible for them the entire way. if i run into another one ill cry cus i wont be able to leave it there#but dear god the difficulty will Not be Fun. why am i like this.#mossball.txt#nebi gaming moment#the gourmand
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andvys · 9 months ago
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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
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Chapter twelve ⭐︎ When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?
Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact! angst, jealousy, misunderstandings, mutual pining, mentions of unrequited feelings, mentions of cheating (not on reader), mentions of past stancy, jealous!Steve, slightly mean!Steve (kinda?), smut smut smut, bathroom sex, car sex, fingering, squirting. I like to picture Jacob as Drew Starkey hehe
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Steve had never handled his jealousy very well, but being jealous over you, brings out a new side in him. He would do anything to keep you, anything.
Word count: 17.4k+
Author's note: I've been waiting for this chapter since forever, jealous men are always my jam, and @hellfire--cult took these ideas to a whole new level, enjoy this filthy chapter. This one is for all my Steve girlies who haven't given up on me after my last story ♡ Roe, I should grant you a thousand wishes at this point, you keep me so hyped for this story. Also this chapter wouldn't have been this good without you, don't even try to fight me
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter
Nancy’s brows are furrowed in concentration, her pink lips pursed as she looks through the many dresses to find the perfect one, her curly hair is pulled up into a bun, held together by a white scrunchie with pink polka dots, she’s wearing one of the outfits she had gotten on your last shopping trip together, this is only your second time, but it’s fun, you like hanging out with her. 
You drove to Indianapolis since Hawkins doesn’t have all too many clothing stores, especially after the ‘fire’ at the mall, you prefer it here anyways, the big city has much more to offer than the small town. 
“What do you think of this one?” Nancy asks as she shows you the yellow sundress. 
You tilt your head, pressing your lips together as you eye it, not quite liking the way too bright color. You walk around the clothing rack to get to the other side, holding the clothing items that you threw over your forearm a little tighter as you take in the different colors of the dress she’s still holding up. 
“Mmm… No, maybe the blue one, Nancy?” You ask, as you point your finger at the baby blue color, when your eyes widen as you catch sight of the purple one, “or, the purple one! That one would look cute, it matches the color of your eyeshadow!” 
She smiles at you, nodding excitedly. She puts the yellow dress on the rack, and looks through the purple ones to find her size. 
“But you should go for the yellow one if you like it more.” 
She shakes her head, looking back at you, “no, I trust your judgment,” she smiles and picks out the dress, “besides, this color is way cuter.” 
You nod, a smile tugging at your lips, “yeah, it’ll look amazing on you.” 
Her dimples show and her eyes light up a little. 
Nancy has been nothing but kind and sweet to you, and you can’t help but feel guilt and regret growing inside of you for the way you once felt about her. 
You weren’t only jealous of her because she had Steve, you also hated her for having him, and you’d spent your shared classes with her, staring at her and comparing yourself to the girl he loved so dearly – the girl he still loves. You were never rude to her or mean, you never glared at her or threw comments at her the way other girls did, after Steve had humiliated her in front of the whole town, despite your feelings for him, you did feel disappointed for what he had done, even when you didn’t even like her, at that time. 
“You should try this one on!” Nancy pulls you out of your thoughts, a grin on her face as she holds up a black dress – a daring black dress. It’s short and flowy, the straps are thin, it’s  low cut with a dainty bow on the front, the back very exposed. “You could wear this one to Vickie’s party.”
A smile tugs at your lips, you step forward and slowly reach your hands out to take it from her. 
“You will look hot in it,” Nancy wiggles her eyebrows at you, nudging her shoulder against yours as she brushes past you to look for more dresses, “I’m sure I won’t be the only one who thinks that,” she says in a sing-song voice. 
Nancy had been very persistent in trying to get you to go on dates. The last time you went out together, the Barista at your local coffee shop had put his number on your takeaway cup after giving you the order for free. She tried to convince you to give him a call, gushing over how sweet he was to you and how he looked at you, and yeah, he was sweet, he was very good looking too, and maybe you would’ve given him a call if things were still the same they were months before this. Yeah, you would’ve definitely given him a call, but only to forget about the certain someone who woke up in your bed this morning. Whose bed you will go to sleep in tonight. 
As you stare at the dress, all that you can think about is Steve, and how he will react to seeing you in this. 
Will he think that you’re pretty? 
Will you look irresistible to him?
Will he want to tear it off of you? 
After all, he does like your dresses, your sundresses especially, you see the way his eyes darken whenever you step into his house with a new one on your body, like he is ready to rip it to shreds and devour you for the next few hours or so, and he usually does, sometimes he doesn’t even take it off, and only pushes it aside, bunching it around your waist.
This sundress is by far more revealing than any of the other ones you have worn before. Excitement bubbles in your stomach as you think of his reaction to it. 
You are definitely getting it. 
After taking forever to pick out what clothes to keep in the dressing room, you both make your way out of the store with full bags, stuffed with new summer clothes. You stroll around town for a while, looking for new jewelry and shoes to go with the dresses you both bought. 
You never realized just how much you missed having a girl friend to do these things with, until you sit down at a cute café to eat some late lunch. It’s something you always used to do with your childhood best friend, that you always try not to think of, too painful are the memories of Chrissy and how you couldn’t be there for her, how you couldn’t save her. You always wondered if things would have gone differently had you both not drifted apart the way you did when you both went separate ways.
But it’s no use to overthink about it, you won’t ever find out. 
“Funny how we’re shopping for clothes, when a few weeks back we were fighting for our lives against something the whole world doesn’t even know about,” Nancy says as she looks over the menu. 
“Yeah,” you nod with wide eyes, glancing up from your own menu to look at her, you realize that you never asked how she got involved in all of it, in the first place. 
You clear your throat, “I never asked… how did you get involved?” 
She raises her brows at your question, taking a deep breath before she puts down the menu. 
“I–It was when Barb went missing, right after Will… What the police said about her wasn’t right, I knew my Barb, so I looked into it all, and I dragged Jonathan in with me because he was looking for his brother, only to find out that my brother and all of his friends were in it too…” She rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. 
You laugh a little, shaking your head. 
A shiver runs down your spine as you think of how long it had all been going on in the shadows, how long you had been unaware of the Upside Down and the existence of monsters, how children were involved in something they shouldn’t have been. 
“And then, poor Steve… He showed up at Jonathan’s place when we tried to lure in the Demogorgon, he almost ran off… but he came right back to fight him with us.” 
You know all about it, Steve told you how he fought the Demogorgon with Nancy and Jonathan, how he had been dragged into it all by accident, how he helped Dustin find Dart, how he protected the kids and climbed into the tunnel after getting beaten by Billy. 
You know most of what happened, not only from Steve, but also from Robin, but you feel intrigued, you want to know more… from her.
Something flashes in her eyes, a look of guilt, a look of regret. 
You know exactly what she’s thinking about, and you know that you shouldn’t bring this up, but your curiosity gets the best of you. 
“I-I was at Tina’s Halloween party.” 
Nancy winces at that, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable by your words, just… regretful of the memories that night brings her. 
You remember the night just as well as she does. Steve had bumped into you after he rushed out of the bathroom you didn’t even know he was in with Nancy, he glared at you and nudged your shoulder harshly, he rudely told you to move out of his way and murmured some incoherent curse word at you. 
You remember how deflected you felt, all night you had avoided him only to bump into him in his worst moment. 
Everyone knows what happened that night, not in full detail, but it doesn’t take a genius to find out what happened between King Steve and his girlfriend after he had stormed out of the house without her, and she left with Jonathan instead. 
Word traveled around, rumors circulated, but you didn’t listen to them, it wasn’t any of your business, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened anyways. Just as Steve and Nancy’s relationship ended, she showed up to school, holding hands with Jonathan. Clearly, something happened between them long before her relationship with Steve had ended. 
Steve hated you, but your heart broke for him still. 
It was so very obvious how much he loved her, and you can imagine how much it hurt when she cheated on him, and left him and his heart in shambles. 
“I-I will never forgive myself for it. No matter if– he did forgive me. I was horrible to him, no amount of apologies can take away the guilt I will forever feel.”
“W-What happened?” You ask nervously, not wanting to overstep but still feeling the curiosity tugging harshly in your chest. 
She sighs, looking around the bustling street before her eyes move back to yours. 
“I-I always blamed him for what happened to Barb, I should’ve gone home with her that night, but I didn’t, even though I promised I would. I went with him, a-and the Demogorgon got her,” she explains, shaking her head a little as she closes her eyes, “it wasn’t Steve’s fault, not at all, but I-I blamed him and every time I looked at him, I just thought about her and what happened to her and how things would’ve gone differently if I didn’t leave her that night, if I didn’t went with Steve.” 
You dig your nails into your palms, swallowing harshly as you watch her. 
“He was good to me, he was there for me, b-but I couldn’t stand him sometimes, and how he tried to act like everything was normal, when it wasn’t.” 
The feeling of irritation sparks inside of your chest, crawling into your bloodstream. 
“And then, the Halloween party… I just, I was still grieving and I was angry, I let it all out on him, I should’ve handled things differently, I shouldn’t have been so harsh but… I-I called him bullshit,” she confesses to you, scrunching up her nose as she cringes at her own self, “and then I confessed my true feelings for him and our relationship.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat, the anger that you are holding back after those leave her mouth. Bullshit. 
How could she do that to him? 
How could she hurt him the way that she did? 
How could she call him that?  
You can tell that it takes a weight off her shoulders, that it’s something she hasn’t talked about since it happened, not to Robin, not even to Jonathan, because after these words leave her mouth, she takes a deep breath, and her body relaxes as she leans back in her seat. 
Her face is edged with shame, but also with relief to finally be able to let it out. 
And you try, you really try to hide your own feelings, the anger, the hurt that you feel for the man that you hold so dearly in your heart. 
You feel thankful for the waiter who interrupts your thoughts, he places the drinks that you ordered on the table, and reaches for his notepad, taking Nancy’s food order first. 
You take a sip of your iced tea and you watch her for a moment, reminding yourself of how long ago it was, how much she changed, how much he changed, how it’s none of your business, how you shouldn’t feel angry at her, even when she’s the one who hurt him, when she’s the one he still wants, despite what she did. 
He would take her back in a heartbeat if she came back to him, and the thought breaks your heart. 
But you can’t help but keep dancing around the topic, so after the waiter takes your order and leaves, you ask her something you’ve been wondering about for weeks now. 
“Do you… regret it? Do you sometimes wish that things between you went differently?” 
She leans her elbows on the table, placing the straw between her lips, she takes a sip of her drink before she leans back again. 
“The only thing I regret is how I led him on, I wish I could go back, and lay it all out on him in a different way… Explain to him why… I didn’t feel that for him, give him a reason instead of making him think that he’s damaged.” 
She cared about him, you can see it in her eyes, you can hear it in her voice. She cared, even if only poorly. 
“I see,” you nod, trying not to sigh. “And… well– when the whole thing with Vecna…” You pause as you feel the weight on your chest crushing you with nervousness. 
She tilts her head at you, “what?” 
Heat rushes to your cheeks, you lick your lips as you look around, watching the people in the busy street across the café for a moment, before you return your gaze to her. 
“Well… It was noticeable you know… and then… you two weren’t exactly quiet in the RV,” you mumble, trying not to sound bitter as the day catches up to you, what Steve had said to Nancy, how he looked at her, how she looked at him – and the rude things he said about you before the white picket fence conversation came up. 
Her eyes widen a little, cheeks blushing a deep red as she looks down sheepishly. 
You don’t know what you had expected, but you certainly didn’t wait for her to blush, it makes your stomach clench uncomfortably. 
“I–I was just hurt because of Jonathan. Feelings are cunning, evil… I was angry, and I think my heart and mind looked for where I could find comfort.” 
Oh, how ugly the feeling in your chest now is, how bitter the taste on your tongue is, how the sweetness of your drink does nothing to make it better, because you know, you know that you wouldn’t be sitting here now if Jonathan didn’t come back, you wouldn’t wake up in Steve’s bed or fall asleep in his arms. 
Because she would be the one.
You knit your brows together as you stare at her, “but Steve–”
“I know but… I think it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing.”
You physically have to restrain yourself from clenching your jaw or rolling your eyes. So, you look away for a moment, staring into a blank space as you try to calm your breathing. 
Heat of the moment. 
You want to scoff and laugh at her words, because telling your ex-girlfriend that you want to have six kids with her is totally, a heat of the moment kind of thing, right. 
You’re very well aware of the jealousy that is boiling inside of you, worsening every passing second, and yet, you can’t help but want to fuel the fire even more, and find out what she would’ve done if she needed more comfort. 
So when you look at her back, you ask, “so… if you were still hurt and Jonathan didn’t come back…?”
You see the way she freezes, the way she hesitates, the way she takes way too long to answer your question. 
“I-I don’t think that I would’ve been with Steve again… Even if my urges and desires told me to… That’s the only thing they were… desires or… attractions. I wouldn’t want to hurt him again and give him the idea that there’d be a chance for a future,” she sighs, shaking her head, “I’m not the one. I’m not the woman for the future of his.” 
You don’t know whether to feel sad for Steve or yourself. 
She is that woman. 
She is the one, the only one that he wants in that way, so why is she denying it? 
The question lingers in your mind and you can’t help but wonder, what would happen if she stopped denying it? If her feelings were more than just desire after all? If she came back to him? 
There is no doubt about what he would do. 
You’d be nothing but a faint memory the moment she’d come back. 
You’d no longer occupy her space in his bed. 
You’d no longer be the one he’d kiss, touch, feel. 
And you, you would step aside without a moment of hesitation, because despite your feelings for him, you would want him to be happy, and you know that he would never get that with you. 
“Besides, I don’t want to be. Steve was my first boyfriend, puppy love,” she chuckles. “It’s different with Jonathan, I want him in my future, a-and I’d honestly take any future with him,” she says, as a soft smile creeps on her face, “I didn’t love Steve but, I love him,” she says truthfully and honestly. 
She isn’t someone you have to worry about. 
She isn’t someone who will take your temporary space, at least not now, not anymore. 
But you still can’t find peace within you after this conversation, you can’t push aside the thoughts of him, of how much he still wants her, of how much he still loves her, of how much he wishes to be with her again, and it upsets you, even when it shouldn’t. 
So, when you come home, you throw your bags on the stairs and make your way into the kitchen, you pick up the telephone and you call him, coming up with some weak excuse as to why you can’t see him tonight. 
You want to see him, but you wouldn’t be able to control your feelings, you wouldn’t be able to hide the pain in your eyes. If Nancy wasn’t with Jonathan, she would be with Steve, and he would choose her, then and now. 
You heard the sigh on the other end, the disappointed ‘okay… bye, Blondie.’ before you hung up the phone abruptly. 
You want him, you want to be with him, you want to feel his touch, his hands on your skin, his lips on yours, and yet, you don’t at the same time, because right now, it would just hurt too much. 
You need to calm your anxious thoughts, or you will give yourself away completely. 
-
Two days. 
It’s been two whole days since Steve had last seen you, and both his mind and his body were going crazy over the lack of you. 
When you had called him on Wednesday evening, he was already waiting for you, giddy and excited for another night with you, but when you announced that you wouldn’t come, he felt deflected, a little crushed even, but he understood, you sounded tired and like you needed your rest, so he didn’t even try to convince you to let him come see you. 
But the next day, there was no trace of you either, you didn’t call, you didn’t visit him at work, you didn’t come over, and when he tried to call you, you didn’t pick up the phone, you also weren’t home, your car wasn’t in your driveway, you were gone. And it made him feel… weird. 
Because where were you? 
You had never done anything like this before, always eager and ready for him, but never this. 
He craved you so terribly, he wanted to see you, he wanted to hear your voice, to feel your touch, to feel your body beneath his. 
He longed for you, and two days away from you, only showed him just how much of a hold you have over him. 
The past two days went by so slowly, it was almost agonizing – just like the terrible music that blasts through Vickie’s house as more and more strangers make their way into her home, filling the empty spaces. 
With his back against the wall, Steve stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, a bored expression on his face as he nods along to Eddie’s rambling about some band he had never even heard the name of, occasionally putting on his meanest face to glare at the people who give Eddie dirty looks. He can’t stand them. 
He takes a sip of his coke, looking around the crowded room in search of you. 
He knows you’re here, but he has yet to see you. 
You came with Eddie, but while the latter instantly came to find him, you apparently left to find Robin, who he hasn’t seen in a while either. 
He has been here for at least two hours now, and he is beginning to grow restless, wanting to just push himself away from the wall and go find you. 
“--And I can’t wait to see them live, man! No more headbanging in my room,” Eddie laughs as he sips on his beer. “Judas Priest is sick! You gotta come with us, I’m sure Gareth won’t mind.” 
“Mmm.” Steve nods, glancing at Eddie with a plastered smile on his face, he feels a bit bad for not listening to him, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, he continues talking.
Steve cranes his neck, looking into the kitchen, then into the hallway, and out into the backyard, trying to catch a glimpse of you, but all he sees are people he doesn’t care about. 
The music is starting to give him a headache, and the smell of liquor and weed is beginning to make him feel hazy. He's not drinking, he’s got other plans that hopefully won’t be canceled tonight but the more time passes, and there is still no trace of you, his hope is beginning to dwindle, because a part of him starts to believe that you are doing this on purpose, not showing yourself to him. 
Are you avoiding him? 
The thought makes his chest ache weirdly, a feeling that he can’t even describe floods through his veins. 
He doesn’t want you to avoid him, he doesn’t want you to stay away from him, he doesn’t want you to get bored of him. 
“I got Robin to listen to my mixtape, you’re next, I’m telling you, you’re gonna be a metalhead in no time,” Eddie chuckles, bumping his shoulder into his, he pulls Steve out of his thoughts. 
“Huh?” Steve furrows his brows at him before a forced laugh falls from his lips, “y-yeah, sure.”
Eddie snorts, knowing that he wasn’t listening to a single word he just said and still agreed. A smirk tugs at his lips, he tilts his head, “so, you’re gonna listen to it?” 
Steve nods, pursing his lips as he scratches the back of his neck. 
“Promise?” Eddie asks, almost cackling.
“Yeah, promise,” Steve shrugs. 
Eddie shakes his head, bringing his beer up to his lips, “you’re gonna regret that,” he murmurs against the glass before he takes a sip. 
Steve hates the music Eddie listens to, he’s hated every song he has shown him so far, but Eddie will take that promise in satisfaction, knowing that Steve never breaks any of his promises. 
Eddie takes a look around the room, recognizing a few people from school, some of whom have already graduated the year before. The guy by the snack table is the one who catches his attention the most, he squints his eyes as he takes a better look at him – tall, dark blond, lean, the gold ring that he always wore on his middle finger, still in place. Jacob Leeney. 
He hasn’t seen him since last year when Jacob was back from college for the weekend, the same weekend you made this guy lucky. 
He wants to make a joke to Steve about it, knowing that he hates the football captain’s guts, when from the corner of his eye, he notices how Steve stands up straighter. 
Every hope that began to dwindle, comes back in a rush when Steve sees you for the first time in two days. 
You walk into the room with a drink in your hand, a smile on your lips that grows brighter when your eyes lock with his. 
His own eyes light up at the sight of you, something in his chest swells with a feeling he grew unfamiliar to. His lips curl into a smile as he stares at your face for the longest time, before he lets his eyes roam your body, the exposed skin that isn’t covered by the pretty dress that you’re wearing, begging for his attention, begging to be marked up by his lips and to be touched by his hands.  
If only he could look into his own reflection to see just how awestruck he looks at the sight of you, how you lit up the whole room for him with your presence. If only he was focused on the beating of his heart or the fluttering in his stomach, the butterflies he thought were long gone, rising back up and filling him with life. 
Your skin is glowing beneath the dim fairy lights, your glossy lips that he craves to feel on his own, looking even more kissable than usual, and he already begins to count down the second until he can actually feel them. 
You start making your way over to him, the platform heels that you’re wearing making you look taller than you are. 
Steve licks his lips, having to fight the urge to just meet you halfway, throw you over his shoulder and get the hell out of here so he can have you all to himself. 
Your eyes are locked with his, a blush creeps up on your face and you grow flustered beneath his stare, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as you raise your hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear – good, nothing changed in those two days. 
His excitement grows, the closer you get, he has nearly all forgotten about his friend next to him, about the other people in this room, but the reminder that it’s not just you and him in this room, catches up quickly, when the smile falls from your lips and your eyebrows furrow as a hand on your upper arm stops you, not enough to startle you, but enough to make you turn around in and look away from him. 
Steve’s own smile falls, and he straightens his back even more. 
He no longer sees your face, your expression or your reaction, but he sees him, Jacob Leeney. And the sight of him alone, is enough to turn the fire that you lit up inside of him, into raging flames. – And not because of the rivalry that was once between them, but because of what he had found out about you and the football captain not too long ago. 
Steve can’t hear what he’s saying to you, but the smile, the smirk on Jacob’s face makes his blood boil. The look in his eyes as he stares you down, making him clench his jaw. 
He pulls you into a hug, hand coming to rest between your shoulder blades, but not quite staying there, he moves it lower and lower until it rests dangerously low on your back as he hugs you for longer than necessary. 
“Damn,” Eddie mumbles from beside him, “Leeney’s about to get another best fuck of his life,” he chuckles, repeating the words that the jock had said to him months back. 
And it does little to calm Steve down. 
“I mean, unless they’ve seen each other this week before, I heard that he was back in town… a few days ago,” Eddie shrugs, watching him closely. 
He watches the way you take a step back, putting distance between you and Jacob after you pull away from the hug, but his hand lingers, not on your back anymore, but now on your elbow as he taps his fingers against your skin, talking to you with a look on his face that gives away his intentions. The sparkling in his eyes matches the one of his own, he wants you, he wants you badly. The interaction between you seems so… trusted, intimate. 
And then, Steve registers what Eddie had said to him, just now. 
A few days ago. 
Steve freezes. 
The cold shudder that runs through him, weakening the flames that just ignited. 
Is that why you canceled your plans with him?  
Is he the reason why you haven’t called? 
Did you stand him up for Jacob?
Were you with him? 
Did you let him kiss you? 
Did you let him touch you?
Did you forget all about him? 
He can’t decipher his own emotions at this very moment, too many are running through him, anger, frustrations… and a very ugly emotion that he won’t admit to feeling. 
He takes a deep breath, unable to hide the frown on his face as he watches you. 
Steve knew it, he knew that his own rule would come to haunt him, and he suddenly feels a deep regret for suggesting the inclusivity that allows you to see other people, he doesn’t want you to do that, he doesn’t want you to see other people, he wants to be the only one for you. 
He is watching you, so closely, so intensely, glaring at the touchy man in front of you, like he’s ready to light him up with his own eyes for putting his hands on places only he should be allowed to touch. 
Eddie slaps his shoulder, “I’ll be right back,” he announces before he scurries away from Steve who refuses to tear his eyes off of you.
He continues to watch you like a hawk, eyes not straying away from you and the man before you, and despite the intensity in his gaze, he is blind to your reactions, to the subtle, tiny steps you take to put distance between you and Jacob. All that Steve can see is the burning red that flashes in his eyes every time he touches you.
He sees the way your shoulders shake from laughter, the way you brush your hair back as you tilt your head up to look at him. 
And the more time passes as you stand across the room, spending time with someone who isn’t him, he begins to grow impatient, restless. 
You should be here, with him, by his side. 
And he wants to show you that the only one you need is him. So, without a second of hesitation, he slams his drink on the table, and he lets his feet carry him over to you, no longer wanting to stand there and watch how someone else might steal you away from him, he won’t let it happen. 
He let it happen with Nancy, he probably would’ve let it happen again if he was still with her, if this was her with Jonathan in front of him, he would’ve looked the other way, despite the aching in his chest.  
But you aren’t Nancy, and his feelings, his reactions, his action that he’s about to take, didn’t fully sink in yet. 
Once he is in earshot, Steve hears Jacob’s annoying, flirty voice. 
“You’re the prettiest girl at this party.” 
Your giggle follows, and it makes Steve’s skin crawl – if he wasn’t so driven by jealousy, and blinded by anger, he would’ve heard how fake it sounded.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” 
Jacob chuckles, opening his mouth to speak, to throw some lame pick up line at you, probably. 
But Steve doesn’t let him. Stepping up beside you, he places his hand on your back first, before he slides it down to your waist, gripping it tightly. The feeling of your body beneath his palm, your warmth and the way you melt into his touch after you turn and tilt your head to look at him, makes his stomach flutter pleasantly. 
You step closer to him, relaxing further when he squeezes you with his large hand, though your eyes are wide and your lips are parted as you stare at him. 
Right now, he can’t even find it in himself to care that your friends could see the intimacy between you and him, all he cares about is you and dragging you away so he can finally have you all to himself. 
“Can I talk to you?” He asks, calmly. 
Your wide eyes spark with curiosity as they look into his own, your glossy lips parting further for him as you come up with words, only to be cut off by Jacob.
“Oh hello, Harrington, long time no see!” The jock grins.
Steve clenches his jaw, but still turns to face him, biting back the distaste on his tongue, he nods at him, “yeah, yeah man, I’ll take her for a minute, okay?” He mumbles with squinted eyes and a fake smile on his lips as he points to you. 
Before the blond can even respond, Steve’s hand leaves your waist, and moves over to your wrist. He grabs your much smaller hand and holds it tightly, giving it a squeeze as he pulls you away and begins to walk, basically dragging you out of the room, and you don’t protest, you follow him, without a single word, slamming your drink on the counter on the way out.
You both walk into the crowded hallway, and he pulls you closer to him when you pass by a group of guys who are talking rather loudly. He pushes you towards the stairs, bringing your hand up a little as he gets behind you.
He doesn’t even bother to look out for your friends, they aren’t on his mind right now and he finds himself not caring about who could see you together. He also doesn’t care about one of his many rules that he is about to break when he pushes you into an empty bathroom. 
You switch the light on and let go of his hand when you walk in further. 
Steve turns around to close and lock the door, his fingers linger on the handle as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 
“What’s wrong, did something happen?” You ask. 
He opens his eyes again and turns around to face you, he raises his hand up, running it through his styled hair, he licks his lips as he lets his eyes roam your body for a second, taking a better look at the dress he hasn’t seen on you before, it must be new. 
The light that shines on you from the ceiling is golden, making your soft skin glow, making it look even more delicate, more desirable. Your chest rises up and down heavily, a worried expression etched in your beautiful features as you stare at him with furrowed brows. Your pouty lips parted. 
Can he blame Jacob for trying to go after you? Not really. 
“Nope, nothing happened,” he mumbles as he makes his way over to you. 
You shake your head a little, frowning, “then why–”
He practically lurches forward, cupping your cheeks, he leans down and presses his lips against yours, the way he wanted to, all night. 
You squeal in surprise, a noise that only fuels his lust even more, prompting him to deepen the kiss roughly. He can taste the sweetness of rum and pepsi on your lips, the strawberry from your gloss, he can taste you, he can smell the intoxicating scent of your perfume, he can feel your arms around his shoulders now as you start moving your lips against his, picking up the pace to match the speed of his own. 
He moans when your fingers get lost in his hair and your nails graze his scalp as you try to pull him closer against you. 
He licks your bottom lip, parting it with his tongue so he can slip it into your mouth. You let him. His palm slides down to your jaw, he holds it there for a moment as his other hand moves down to your hip, gripping it tightly as he presses you against the counter behind you, fingers now playing with the flimsy material of your sundress. 
A needy moan blesses his ears, the delicious sound rushing to his cock, making it stir in his pants that are now getting way too tight around his groin. 
You place your hand on the back of his neck as you place your other on his chest, pressing yourself further against him as you kiss him with whimpers and a neediness that he thought only he was feeling. 
God, he missed you.
But, did you miss him? 
Did your lips touch someone else’s when you weren’t with him, where you were supposed to be? 
The flames that are still raging inside of him, sparking a new kind of anger in him at the thought of it, it prompts him to do something that he has never done before – he bites your bottom lip, making you wince and moan at the pain. 
He pinches your chin between his fingers, pulling away from the kiss to look at you. 
With furrowed brows, you open your eyes to look at him, leaning back in to steal a kiss, but he keeps you in place, ignoring the whine that falls from your lips.
“Jacob Leeney, huh?” He mutters, instantly clenching his jaw after saying that name out loud. “Why did you talk to him, hm?” 
Steve moves his hand under your dress. 
“W-What?” You ask, shakily. “He was just talking to me about college.”
Right. That is the reason why he looked at you like he was ready to tear your dress off and devour you, right then and there. 
“Right,” he mumbles, gritting his teeth in anger. 
You stare at him with a frown on your face, tilting your head a little as you reach your hand up to wrap it around his wrist. And then, realization flashes in your eyes and your lips twitch a little. 
“You plan on fucking him tonight, Blondie?” He sneers, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. 
You raise your eyebrows, pressing your lips together, he watches the way your throat bobs as you swallow. 
The silence between you is nearly deafening, he can feel your breath on his thumb as he still holds your chin, he waits for you to answer his question.
Your eyes crinkle, and your lips curl into a smile before you suddenly burst into giggles, making his irritation feel worse than before. 
Steve’s muscles tense up and he bites the insides of his cheeks, pressing his knee in between your thighs, he holds you tighter. 
“Why are you laughing, huh?” He asks, as he leans closer to you, cupping your jaw again, he tilts your head to the side, making your giggles die down the moment he latches his lips onto your neck. 
You suck in a sharp breath. 
“Mmm, nothing,” you murmur, “w-what if I am? What if I do plan on fucking him?” 
Steve has to hold back to growl, threatening to escape as he presses another rough kiss to your neck, his fingers now digging deeper into your hip. 
“Well, I have a little priority here, don’t you think?” He murmurs against your skin. 
“Wasn’t it you… the one who said no exclusivity, Steve?” 
His breath stopped for a moment, regret gnawing up in his throat like vile. He wants to back out of that rule… but you are not his, so he waters it down. 
“New rule then, Blondie,” he mumbles, not stopping with the kisses on your neck, “we leave with each other when we are at the same place. So, meaning today it’s me.” 
You furrow your eyebrows at his words, questions already lingering in your mind. 
You would always choose Steve. 
There is no one else you would go home with. 
And you can’t help but want him to know, but you don’t get to tell him because just as you open your mouth, Steve starts kissing your neck differently, intensely, roughly. He sucks on your neck, marking you up and blessing your delicate skin with hickeys as though he wants to show everyone that you’re his, that you belong to him. 
And you do, you do belong to him, but he doesn’t know it. 
He doesn’t know that your heart is his, that your mind and body is in his possession. 
He doesn’t know how crazy you go over his touches, how your heart flutters at every slightest touch of his, how weak and vulnerable you feel when he holds you, how no one else could ever come close to make you feel the things that he can make you feel. 
“How many drinks did you have, Blondie?” 
“J-Just half of the drink I left downstairs,” you say, tilting your head to the side to give him more access to your neck. 
“Just that?” He asks, “you’re not drunk, are you?” 
You shake your head quickly, “no, not at all.” 
“Good,” he nods. 
Your eyes flutter shut when you feel his fingers on your ruined panties, he pushes them aside and slips his long fingers through your folds, dipping them inside of you before he pulls them back out to tease your clit, digits now coated with your slick. 
You jerk a little, wrapping your arm around him so you can hold onto him, a needy moan escapes your mouth. 
You could have had this on Wednesday night, you could have had this last night, but you were too busy worrying about something that filled your heart with pain. 
“S-Steve!” 
He gets lost in his feelings, lost in the rage, in the possessiveness and the urge to show you that he should be the only one for you. His teeth graze your neck, his lips suck harshly on your skin as he spreads you open with two fingers. 
You mewl when he starts pumping them inside of you, in and out, deeply and slowly at first. 
“Who are you so wet for, huh?” He asks, pulling away just enough so he can look at the marks he left, appreciating the sight in front of him for a second, before he pulls your face towards him, gripping your chin tighter than before, his thumb now lingering on your bottom lip. “Tell me, Blondie” 
You open your eyes, revealing to him just how dark they are, how much lust lingers in them. 
“You, Stevie! Just you!” You whine needily before you wrap your lips around his thumb, catching him off guard, once again. You swirl your tongue around it, looking into his hazel eyes as you start sucking, you watch the way they widen and darken, the tension in his jaw now leaving as he is only focused on this, on you. 
“Fuck,” he murmurs under his breath, picking up the pace of his fingers, he drags them out of you and slams them back in, nearly moaning himself when he listens to the squelching noises as he finger-fucks you, “just me?” 
Your jaw drops and you throw your head back, letting go of him to hold onto the edges of the counter, he has got you pressed against at. You nod quickly, “yes, yes! Just you, only you!” You ramble as you squeeze your eyes shut again, enjoying the feeling of his fingers inside of you. 
“Good.” 
Steve can feel how you clench around him, how you’re already so close even though he didn’t even get started yet. He leans in to peck your lips as he curls his fingers inside of you, and he presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing it slowly. 
He feels himself growing harder – the feeling of your tight, wet walls around his fingers being too much, along with the needy moans that keep falling from your pretty lips. 
He stares at you, watching the way your nipples poke through the thin material of your dress – of course, you’re not wearing a bra. You bite your lip, your brows are knit together, and your head falls to the side as you let yourself get lost in the feeling he provides you with. 
Not Jacob, definitely not Jacob. 
The jock could never make you feel this, he is so sure of it, and yet, Steve can’t shake the thoughts of you and him together. 
Would you be this wet for him too? 
Would you moan so prettily for him? 
Would you be so needy for him? 
The anger just won’t leave him, it refuses to, it has him in its tightest grip, urging him to prove something to you. 
His chest heaves up and down heavily, his darkened eyes are nearly black now. 
You’re close, he can feel that you are with the way you’re clenching around him, but he doesn’t let you cum like this tonight, so he pulls his fingers out of you. 
Your eyes shoot open and your lips part as you’re about to protest, pouting at him. He grabs your hips with both of his hands, turning you around abruptly, he bends you over the counter and presses himself against you, and he chuckles darkly when you gasp at his action. 
Steve reaches for the hem of your dress and he flips it over, exposing your ass to him and the lacy thong you’re wearing, he groans at the sight of it, unable to hold back, he rears his hand back before he smacks his large palm against your skin, slapping your ass harshly. 
Steve has never, never treated a girl roughly before, not any of his hookups, not Nancy, but then again, he never had this much fun with any of them. Letting go of his inhibitions, taking what he wants for once, and the fact that you let him, and even love it, makes him go feral.
But as the realization sinks in of what he had done, his eyes widen as fear rushes through him, worried that he had gone too far, but you ease his mind with the filthy whimper that sounds through the room as you press your ass against his dick, rubbing it against him as though you’re asking for more. 
He can’t help but chuckle, the shock and the fear vanishing just as quick as it came. 
“Oh, you like that, Blondie?” He asks as he presses his palm against your ass, this time not slapping it, but grabbing it roughly, making you whine again. “Of course you fucking do,” he murmurs as he lets go, only to smack you once more, making you gasp his name in pleasure. 
“Please!” 
He looks at your reflection in the mirror, needy eyes meeting his. 
“Please what?” He asks as he unbuckles his belt and pops the button of his jeans, he reaches for the condom in his back pocket – mentally thanking his needy self for placing one there before he left his house, in hopes that he would get this. 
“Please, fuck me!” 
He pushes his jeans and boxers down, just enough to free himself, not wasting any more time, he rips apart the foil and throws the empty packet on the ground, making quick work of rolling the condom over his length. With his chin against his chest, he looks down, stroking his dick for good measure, his spit curl falls in front of his eyes, but he doesn’t bother to push it out of the way, he looks up through hooded eyes, glancing at you through the mirror, he almost wants to chuckle at the desperation in your eyes, but it gets stuck in his throat when you push your ass back against his dick, whining. 
His stomach flutters seeing you so desperate for no one but him. 
He grabs your hip with his left hand, pressing himself against you, he teases both you and himself by slipping his shaft through your wet folds, he watches the way you look at him, begging for more with your eyes as you push yourself up a little. 
He presses his palm against your lower back, pushing you down so your chest is flush against the marble counter, he lines up with your entrance and pushes inside of you slowly. Waves of pleasure rush through him in an instant. You scrunch your face up, lips parting as a sigh escapes you.  
You throw your hand back, reaching for his forearm, you grab it tightly as you shut your eyes and drop your head a little, your hair falls in front of your face, hiding all your pretty features.
Steve looks down, watching his cock disappear into your weeping pussy. 
“You take me so well, holy shit,” he murmurs under his breath. And it was the truth, you take him like no other, making you the most addictive.
He sinks into you, deeper and deeper, stretching you out and splitting you open, the tension inside of him grows and his heartbeat increases. He pulls out again, watching the way the condom around him glistens with your slick – how he wishes that he could feel you without it. He slams back in, making you gasp and arch your back in pleasure. He starts thrusting, in and out, deeply and slowly at first, but with an intensity that makes you open your eyes again.
“Steve!” 
“That’s right,” He grunts, reaching his hand forward, he grabs your hair and tilts your head back up, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror as he moves his hips faster, quickening his pace until he’s pounding you. “Look at who’s fucking you right now, Blondie.” 
The loudest moan falls from your lips, and you instantly bring your hand up to cup your mouth, panic flashing in your lust filled eyes. Despite the loud music, you are scared that someone might hear you, and it only prompts him to fuck you harder and rougher against the counter, holding you tighter as heat spreads in his chest – who do you want to hide from? Your friends, or Jacob? 
But while Steve worries about something that isn’t even on your mind, you are so far gone, so lost in the pleasure that you feel because of him, your insides so sensitive already, yet aching for more. You focus on the way he thrusts in and out of you, how heavenly it feels to feel him inside of you, to feel him in your stomach. 
You are so drunk on him that there is not a single thought in your brain, only him. 
No one has ever done this to you, no one has ever made you feel so weak, so submissive, so lost in the heat of the moment, no one has ever taken such control – you wouldn’t have let them, only he can have this. 
Your eyes turn glassy, rolling back as you throw your head back, your weak hand falling from your face again. 
“Yeah, as if that asshole could fuck you like this,” he grunts, letting go of your hair and moving his hand forward to cup your cheeks, “say it. Say no one can fuck you like this, Blondie, because I know it’s true.”
Your walls clench and flutter around him, a cry leaving you as he pulls your ass up a little, slamming in and out of you, hitting the spot that makes tears fall from your eyes, making him even more aroused than before. 
“Only you, Steve!” You sob as a tear spills down your cheek and onto his thumb. 
Your knees buckle and your body begins to tremble, sobs and moans turn into needy whines and whimpers, your flustered face decorated with pretty tears making his muscles tense in his stomach. 
You try to keep quiet as you press your lips together, trying to breathe calmly through your nose despite the pounding in your chest, when he suddenly changes the pace again, pounding you so hard that he knocks you forward, hitting so deep inside of your squelching pussy, that you can’t help but cry out loudly as stars blur your vision. 
“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!” 
Steve nearly busts, eyes widening at the way you chant his name so desperately. His hips stutter a little and he has to suck in a sharp breath, eyes shutting for a moment. He twitches inside of you, and it doesn’t help that you keep clenching. 
The sound of the music, of laughter and voices outside are so far away, the only thing you both hear are your moans and how wet you are as his skin slaps against yours. 
He slows down a little, enough to make you whine again, to make you move back against him, trying to fuck yourself on his cock. 
“F-Fuck,” Steve moans, he opens his eyes again, reaching forward, he grabs your shoulder and pulls you up and against his chest before he lets his hand travel down your stomach, he pushes your dress out of the way, and his fingers find their way to your clit. 
A high pitched moan echoes through the room, your body shakes harder and you grab his forearm tightly as he rubs circles on your sensitive nub. 
He presses his lips to your neck, moaning himself as the tension in his stomach grows bigger and bigger. He kisses your delicate skin, his mouth brushing the dark marks he left. 
You cling to him, nails grazing his skin, you press the side of your face against his, staining his cheek with your tears.
“I know, baby, I know.” 
If only he knew just how such a simple yet special word affects your heart, making it beat faster and harder in your chest, setting all your insides on fire and igniting something in you that throws you into a pit of love and glee. 
Steve had never called you this before, and you could only dream of such sweet nicknames, until now. 
Your eyes roll back again, eyelashes fluttering as you squeeze them shut completely, mouth ajar as filthy noises fall. You’d fall over if it wasn’t for his strong arms holding you up, his fingers moving so fastly on your clit, his dick so deep inside of you, his lips biting gently on your skin, all it takes is another rough thrust and your body begins to shake for a different reason, you fall apart for him, once again. 
You don’t even feel yourself drooling, you no longer feel the tears spilling down your cheeks. 
“Good girl,” he whispers into your ear, kissing the spot behind it before he grabs your chin and tilts your head to the side so he can press his lips against yours, pulling you into a soft kiss as he keeps fucking you, chasing his own high. 
Steve furrows his brows, his muffled moan vibrating against your lips as he gives one last powerful thrust and spills into the condom, secretly wishing that he could spill inside of you and paint your walls white instead. 
His body relaxes after the high it had been on for the past minutes, muscles loosening, but lips still moving gently against yours. 
Both yours and his moans die down after a moment, but you’re still panting, trying to catch your breaths as you pull away from one another. You open your eyes, and look into his, the blackness slowly fading away and you see the pretty hazel color again. His tongue licks his bottom lip, eyes flickering between your own and the marks he left on your neck. 
A lazy smile appears on your face and you feign confidence as you tilt your head to the side and reach your hand up to move the spit curl away from his forehead, the tips of your fingers brushing his skin, he holds you tighter in response. 
“I didn’t think you could get so jealous, Steve,” you whisper, ‘jokingly’ but most of all, painfully to yourself.
You’d hope that he was jealous, that all of this was the result of the burning red emotion, but why would he feel jealous over you? 
Just the presence of Jacob was enough to bruise Steve’s ego. That’s all that it was.
You know he never liked the jock, and the fact that he got his hands on you first, must’ve hit a nerve. But it has nothing to do with you. Steve is not jealous of who you sleep with, he doesn’t care. He is just bruised cause he felt threatened with an ex hook-up you had, afraid of them stealing you for tonight.
Steve huffs at your words, shaking his head at you. He pulls out of you with a hiss, cursing under his breath. 
“Well, did you think I’d let him steal you away from me…?” He asks, clearing his throat as he adds, “tonight?” 
And then he looks down, not wanting to show his face, to show how jealous he really is. 
He doesn’t need you to know that. 
He slips his hand between your thighs again, adjusting your panties and putting them back in place before he fixes your dress, pushing it back down over your ass. 
Your eyes soften at his action, heart fluttering in your chest. 
It’s not the first time he does this, he always takes care of you – he cleans you up, he helps you put a shirt on your body whenever you stay over, whenever you’re too weak to move. He is good to you, gentle and soft, and that is dangerous, because despite the thoughts in your head, the logical part that tells you the truth, his actions keep putting false hope into your heart. 
You grab the counter, and on shaky feet, you step closer and hold onto it tightly, watching as he fixes himself next, throwing the condom and the discarded foil into the trash, he tucks himself back into his pants and steps towards the counter beside you to wash his hands. 
His lips are stained with your lipstick, his hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed – he looks so cute like this. 
You tear your eyes away from him and finally look at your own reflection, your eyes widen and you gasp in shock – not at the mascara that runs down your face, the messy hair or just how puffy your lips are, no, this is not exactly an unusual sight to see, but the marks on your neck are, because they are so much bigger and darker than they usually are. 
You throw your hand up towards your neck and turn to face him, “what the fuck, Steve?” 
He winces, quickly drying his hands before he turns to face you, as well. Eying your hand that is covering the hickeys he left, your big eyes filled with panic. He can’t help but think you look cute like this, with your hair all messy and your lips curled into a pout. 
“H-How am I gonna hide–”
He grabs your face and pulls you into a soft kiss, just a quick peck, one that is enough to cut you off. 
“You think I’m done with you and we’re gonna go back to the party?” He chuckles, caressing your cheek as he pulls away from your puckered lips, “no, we’re leaving, Blondie.” 
You gulp at his words and squeeze your aching thighs together as excitement rises back up in you. 
“So, fix yourself and meet me downstairs,” he murmurs, placing another soft kiss to your lips before he pulls away. “I’ll wait by the front door.” 
He takes another look at your neck, hiding his satisfied smirk by turning around. He unlocks the door and opens it, leaving you alone in the bathroom as he makes his way downstairs to find Eddie or Robin, to announce that he will be driving home a very sick Blondie. 
While a smirk keeps playing on his lips, you are panicking in the bathroom, not knowing how to hide the marks he left, what lie to come up with this time if Eddie sees and asks questions again. 
You do your best to fix your hair, running your fingers through it and wiping away the mascara streaks on your cheeks, and the smudged lipstick, that you only now realize, is still on his lips, he didn’t even bother to wipe it away – what an idiot. 
You step back and take a look at your dress, smoothing it down and moving your hands back to your hair. The marks on your neck are so strong, so very visible, you’re not even sure if foundation and concealer will be able to hide this. A groan falls from your lips. 
You should do the same to him, he surely won’t fix it with makeup. 
You press your palm against your neck, testing out how it will look if you just go out like this. 
“This looks so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes. 
You pray that you won’t run into any of your friends on the way out, all you have to do is make it downstairs and to the front door. You haven’t seen much of Eddie before, and Robin is too busy with Vickie anyways. 
You take a deep breath and then you step out of the bathroom and into the hallway. It’s not as crowded as it is downstairs, but there are still a few people you have to pass, as you awkwardly keep your hand on your neck, pretending to scratch it. 
You feel eyes on you, but you don’t bother to turn around to look at them, not even caring if they heard you and Steve – as long as your friends didn’t hear, you’re good. 
Your legs are shaky, and walking in your platform heels feels like a workout after Steve just railed you into oblivion, your stomach still flutters, yet feeling empty at the lack of him. 
You walk down the stairs, carefully. You hope that your knees won’t buckle. 
The party is still in full swing, some Billy Idol song blaring through the speakers as the living room is still filled with dancing people. Red solo cups are everywhere, empty bottles and cans litter the counters and tables – poor Vickie will regret throwing a party when she wakes up tomorrow morning. 
Your eyes fall on him, the smug look on his face making you huff in annoyance. Steve enjoys seeing you struggle after what he just did to you, he licks his lips as his eyes run up and down your body, they flash with amusement when they fall on your hand, you see the way his shoulders shake, he is chuckling at you as he plays with the car keys in his hand. Smug bastard. 
You roll your eyes at him, and turn away, looking around to see if any of your friends are around, but the only people you see are strangers and a few known faces from school, you sigh in relief, knowing that you won’t have to lie into Eddie’s or Robin’s face. You return your gaze to Steve whose face is suddenly no longer as smug as it was a few seconds ago, his eyes aren’t even on you anymore, but rather on someone behind you as he looks over your shoulder. 
Someone calls your name, someone who is the reason for the rage on Steve’s face that you had already seen before. 
You turn around when your name is being called again, to find Jacob walking towards you. Oh. 
You grow flustered knowing that the fucked out look on your face is so very obvious. You can’t even hide it. 
He catches up to you, and he reaches his hand out to place it on your upper arm, “hi, there you are,” he smiles, towering over you. He is tall, much taller than you, even taller than Steve. 
You greet him back, forcing a smile. 
He furrows his brows as his eyes scan your face, his smile falling a little, a frown appearing instead, “are you okay?” He asks, worriedly. “Do you feel sick?” 
You shake your head and open your mouth to speak when the words get stuck in your throat after his hand leaves your arm and comes to rest on your face instead, surprising you and angering Steve. 
“Do you need me to take you home?” He asks, caressing your cheek. 
You would have moved, but you are frozen in place as you stare at him, completely caught off guard by his action and the look in his eyes. 
“I-I…”
A different hand appears on your lower back, one that your body instantly recognizes, because your skin heats up and your chest blooms with warmth – it’s scary how well your body knows him. 
Steve pulls you into his side, wrapping his arm around you, “I got her, she’s in good hands, Leeney.” 
Sometimes you wish that he knew how you felt about him, how your heart nearly explodes every time he says something only a boyfriend should say – maybe then, he would take pity on you and your heart. 
You melt into his touch, the smell of his cologne is so intoxicating. 
Jacob retracts his hand, he looks between you and Steve, his shoulders slumping a little as he steps back, he looks down at you, nodding, “alright.” 
“Come on,” Steve murmurs, squeezing your waist as he begins to pull you away, wanting you away from the jock and towards the front door. 
“Bye Jacob–”
“Wait,” he rushes forward, and reaches for your hand, placing a folded note into your palm. “Here, I’m not making the same mistake again.” He gives your hand a squeeze and smiles at you, not waiting for your response, he steps away and takes another glance at Steve, before he turns around and leaves. 
You stare at the note in your hand, you don’t have to open it to know what’s written on the paper. 
You fail to notice the absolute rage in Steve’s eyes, how much more intense it is than before, how tense the muscles in his jaw are, how it takes everything in him not to slam you against the wall and kiss you in front of Jacob and everyone else. 
He pulls you out of the house without a single word, he grabs your hand instead as he leads you outside, he shuts the door and the sound of music and the many voices begin to fade away as you both make your way to his car, which he parked on the side of the road. 
Your heels click against the cobblestone, your hands hold tightly onto his, you’re quiet, and so is he, but a storm is raging in his mind, and everything he felt before, now feels so much worse. 
Can he keep you when there’s other people who want you just as much as he does? – And even, in different, much more intimate ways? 
He saw the way Jacob looked at you, he wasn’t only interested in another quick fuck, he wanted more, and it irritates Steve, it makes his stomach churn uncomfortably, it makes his heart clench in his chest – it shouldn’t, there is nothing more between you than this, and yet, he is scared to lose it, the little secret that you both have, he isn’t ready to let it go, he isn’t ready to let you go and watch you fall into someone else arms. 
He wants to keep you, and he will do everything to make it stay that way. 
He knows that there is only one way to show you that he is the only you will ever need. At least, for now.
He opens the passenger door and lets go of your hand so you can get inside, eying the note that is still in your other hand. He closes the door once you’re seated, and he makes his way around his BMW, when he gets inside as well, he notices the now unfolded note in your lap and the number that’s written on it. 
He grits his teeth but bites back his bitter words. 
You won’t call him, he will make sure of that. 
It’s not easy to focus on the drive when his mind is in such a whirlwind and his eyes keep glancing back at the note in your lap, that you folded back together again. 
You aren’t looking at it any longer, your eyes are focused on the road and the passing trees. 
“What do you plan to do with that number, Blondie?” He asks, unable to hold back and hide the jealousy this time. 
You narrow your eyes at him, taking a look at his hands, you see how hard he is gripping the steering wheel when you take in the sight of his knuckles. The veins in his hands nearly popped. You gulp as your eyes move along his arm, muscles that are hidden beneath the black sleeve of his shirt peeking out just a little, his cheeks are red, his jaw clenched. 
He is angry, but a part of you can see through your insecurities. 
It’s not only his ego that was bruised, it’s not only the anger that shines through, there is more, so much more. 
The jealousy that only you ever felt is lingering in his eyes. 
He is jealous. 
Steve is jealous over you. 
And there is really no reason for him to feel that way, but you can’t stop the rush of excitement and happiness that floods through your body. 
If he felt that way before he dragged you into the bathroom, over an innocent conversation, what will he do now that Jacob has made an entirely new move?
Will you get another taste of what he gave you before?
Will he call you baby again?
You’re stepping into a dangerous territory, you know it, but the thrill over it makes heat pool in your stomach. 
“I don’t know, Lego Head,” you shrug, trying to keep a straight face as you look at him, “maybe I’ll keep it… You know, for when you don’t answer your phone.” You lie as you pick the note back up. 
Steve huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. 
He rolls down the window, giving you no time to react, he snatches the note from your hand and wastes no second to throw it out onto the road, letting it get lost in the darkness. 
“Hey!” You gasp as your eyes widen. 
“Whoops, my hand slipped,” he flashes you an innocent smile as he closes the window again. 
“What if I want to call him!?”
Your question makes him grip the wheel even tighter, knuckles turning white. 
“You don’t need him,” he mumbles. 
You sit up straighter, raising your brows at him, “oh really? I don’t? Why’s that?” 
Steve can’t take it any longer, the feelings inside of him boiling over, controlling all his actions now. 
He pulls the car off the main road, and drives into the isolated wooded area that leads to a stream, a hidden part of Lovers Lake that he only ever came to when he needed to clear his head. 
He slams his foot on the brakes and turns off the car, turning off the lights and unbuckling the seatbelt, he turns to you in anger, “because you literally just said no one can fuck you like I can!” 
Your heart begins to race, goosebumps rise on your skin, and you press your palms against the leather seat beneath you. The giddiness inside of you is now so difficult to keep hidden. 
“Ah, so that should make you exclusive,” you smirk, tilting your head to the side, “okay, well, maybe he got better–”
You don’t even get to finish your sentence, you don’t get to taunt him anymore as he turns his back to you and gets out of the car, slamming the door shut and rounding the car to get to you, he rips open the door on your side. 
“You don’t learn, do you?” 
“W-What?” 
“Get out.” He demands, not nicely. 
You frown at him, watching his stance and how angry he looks at you. “What the fuck–”
“Get out,” he repeats, in a much calmer yet angrier voice. 
You shiver at his command, and you take a deep breath as you unfasten your seatbelt, your heels hit the grass as you get out of the car. Steve places his hand on your back and pushes you out of the way so he can close the door before he opens the one to the backseat. He glares into your eyes, “get in.” 
Your frown transforms into a look of complete confusion as you look between his hand and the seat that he points at. 
“You’re making me change seats?”
He steps closer to you, “get the fuck inside, right now.” 
The demanding, aggressive tone in his voice doesn’t make you question him again, you swallow harshly and turn around, you place your hands on the leather seats as you crawl inside, moaning in surprise when he smacks your ass again.
He chuckles darkly behind you, “you really like that huh?” 
You glare at him over your shoulder, earning another slap to your other cheek, making you jerk and whine. 
He chuckles again and follows you inside, closing the door behind him, “noted.” 
The leather beneath you is cold, and you grip it tightly, sucking in a sharp breath, and just as you go to turn around and sit down, Steve’s strong hands grab at your hips, flipping you over and manhandling you underneath his body as he forces you to lie down on your back. He pushes your thighs apart, settling in between them, he presses his palms flat against the seat on both sides of your head. 
A shiver runs down your spine, not from fear, but from excitement, because he probably didn’t want you to realize he was jealous, but he is showing you. He is clearly showing you and you can’t help but feel absolutely happy, accomplished. 
You know that you’re in for something when you look into his eyes – you can’t even find the right words to describe the emotions that are lingering in them, but they make your inside flutter so wildly, you feel the need to clench your thighs together as he looms over you, but you can’t, he doesn’t let you. 
His nose brushes against yours, his hair falls in front of his eyes as he inches closer to you, his breath kissing your skin. 
“Has anyone ever put you in your place, Blondie?” He asks as he drums his finger along your shoulder, hooking it around the strap of your dress. 
“W-What?” You stutter, hating how weak and shaky your voice sounds. 
“I’m taking that as a no.” 
Steve drags the strap down, and he leans down to press his lips against your shoulder, “I wanted to be nice, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, “wanted to take care of you, but fuck, you leave me no choice.” 
You squirm beneath him, digging your nails into the flesh of your legs as you furrow your brows at his words. 
His lips ghost over your collarbone, his hand now pushing your dress down a little, he exposes your chest to him, and he traces the outline of your breast before his fingers pinch your nipple, making you whine again. 
“Time for you to understand–” He murmurs as he plants a kiss to your jaw, “-- that I’m the only one you need.” 
His movements are soft, his touches are gentle but to your surprise, they don’t stay that way, after a few more kisses, he flips the bottom part of your dress over, bunching it around your waist, he hooks his finger around your panties and tears them off of you, throwing them over his back, not caring where they land. His fingers trace your legs, hands finding their way to your heels, he unfastens the straps around your ankles, and takes them off before he returns his attention to where you need him the most. 
He teases you with his fingers, torturing your clit and chuckling darkly at the whines that start filling the space around you. 
Steve had been intense and rough before, but one look into his face shows you that you will get more tonight, so much more. 
He splits you open with his fingers again, sinking them into your soaked hole, he fucks you with them, he taunts you with his words and sucks more marks onto your skin, littering the other side of your neck and your chest with hickeys. He makes you see stars with the way he curls his digits inside of you and rubs your clit. 
To your surprise and confusion, he doesn’t let you cum, he pulls his fingers out and stops touching you when you’re about to fall apart, just like he did before in the bathroom. Nothing like this ever happened before. 
You don’t think anything of it at first, not when he seems desperate to fill you up in a different way. He fumbles with his pants and pushes them down, along with his boxers. He rolls a condom over his length again, one of many he has in the glove compartment because sometimes you two don’t even reach a bed when seeing each other, rushing to do it just as he did earlier, your mouth waters at the sight of his leaking, red tip. 
“C’mere,” he murmurs, grabbing your waist and pulling your weakened body on top of him, you instantly reach for his shoulders, grabbing them tightly as he gives you no time to react before he makes you sink down on his cock – you don’t mind. You are so needy, so wet for him that your juices soak your inner thighs. 
But you need to feel his skin on yours, so you reach for the hem of his shirt, and pull it over his head, he leans forward as you rip it off of him. You throw it on the seat and wrap your arms around his naked shoulders, pressing yourself against his hairy chest.
You are the first to start moving, rolling your hips and riding him slowly, but he isn’t satisfied with that, he wants something else, he wants more. 
Steve makes you bounce on his dick, he holds your hips harshly and uses you as though you’re a fleshlight, filling you to the brim and slamming you up and down on his dick, fucking you rather disrespectfully. 
He makes you fall forward, as your eyes shut at the roughness and the intensity. He is buried so deep inside of you, you’re not sure if you have ever felt this before. Tears blur your vision again that night, moans turn into whimpers and whimpers into cries, the pleasure so strong, so overwhelming. 
You throw your hand against the fogged up window, slamming your palm against it, leaving a handprint there for him. 
No words escape you, not even his name, the only thing you can do is fall limply against his body and hide your face in the crook of his neck as drool starts coming out of your mouth but the moment it touches his skin, Steve grabs the back of your neck and pulls you back to him again, so he can see your face. 
“Does he even get to see you like this?” He grunts, fucking up into you and watching the way you squeeze your crying eyes shut. “Drooling? Crying? I bet I’m the only one you’ve ever been this cock drunk for… aren’t I?” 
You nod your head wildly, panting and gasping as pain and pleasure mix together. He thinks it’s just physical, but there is so much more to it. You knew you would turn into this for him and just him, you’ve always known.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Steve lets go of your neck, making you fall back against him, he decides to tease you more by smacking your ass, causing you to jolt and whimper, filling him with satisfaction. 
He makes your pleasure the more unbearable, causing you to clench around him. 
And just like before, just as you’re so close to reaching your peak, he stops your movements all together, filling you with anger now, making you snap out of the haze he put you into. He stills and grabs you tightly, so you won’t move, he lifts you up and off his cock, biting back a groan. 
“W-What the fuck, Steve?” You cry out, “I-I was so close!” 
His eyes are nearly unrecognizable when he squeezes your cheeks together with one hand, forcing you to look at him. The angry sight in front of you, only makes you clench around him even harder. 
“You’re not cumming until I say so, Blondie.” It was stern, but Steve had a point to make, he needs to make it happen. 
You aren’t even aware of what is going on inside of his troubled mind, you could never even guess, not even when he flips you over and throws you down under him, placing your left leg over his shoulder. 
The position is quite cramping, but you forget about any kind of pain, when he sinks back inside of you and starts pounding into you with a force that makes the stars shine brighter and your heart race faster. 
Steve is not even focused on his pleasure, despite how good you feel around him, all that he can think about is your pleasure. He gives his all, he gives everything to kill any memory of what any of your other hookups did to you, of the pleasure they made you feel, of the pleasure he once made you feel. 
He snaps his hips into yours, fucking you so deeply and roughly, making his dick ache in pleasure. 
He surely never fucked anyone this way before. He never felt this angry before.
He watches you closely, the way your pussy flutters around his dick, the way you grip the leather beneath you, nearly ripping through it with your nails as tears of pleasure stream down your face and you tilt your head to the side with furrowed brows, your tits bouncing as he slams you back and forth on the seats. 
Your moans are so loud that anyone who were to pass by, would freak out and almost faint or call the cops. 
He is not even touching your clit, not even grazing it with his fingers, not giving it any pleasure again… yet. But he feels your fluttering walls, how tight you are getting around him, how high pitched your moans are getting – you are close, so close. 
And so is he, he keeps thrusting in and out of you, not tearing his eyes off of your beautiful face as he chases his own high, roughly and deeply. Your name falls from his lips, and his hips stutter as he finishes into the condom, groaning as your walls grip him tightly. 
Steve pulls out of you reluctantly, stopping your pleasure once again. 
He pulls your leg off his shoulder gently and places it back on the seat, giving it a squeeze.
His chest heaves up and down, he breathes heavily as he stares at you, biting back the chuckle when your eyes shoot open and a bewildered look crosses your face, the tears in your eyes still shining brightly as you raise yourself up on your elbows, frowning angrily at him. 
“You– I’m going to fucking kill you, Steve, it’s not fair!” Your bottom lip trembles, you are clearly very frustrated with him. 
He looks down to hide the amusement on his face, taking the condom off, he ties it up and throws it on the ground, making a mental note to throw it away later on. 
Steve tugs himself back into his boxers and pulls his pants up, not bothering with his belt just yet. 
He shakes his head at you when you squeeze your thighs together, hiding yourself from him. He hooks his hands around your knees, pulling you closer against him before he tears them apart again, exposing your glistening swollen pussy to him. 
He licks his lips as he hooks your leg around his hip, holding it there as brings his other hand back to your center, he bites down on his lip, looking at you with mischief in his eyes as he delivers a slap to your clit. 
“Wha– Steve!” You gasp in surprise and if he weren’t so determined, so centered on you, he would have been surprised by his action too. 
“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, using his pointer finger to tease your slit, he spreads your folds apart, and slips his middle finger and ring finger into your sopping pussy, he focuses on your face. 
Your angry features slowly relax again, mouth parting as he starts to move his fingers again, this time he does aim for your orgasm… and more. 
He moves slowly at first, rocking his fingers in and out of you, moaning himself at the noises he draws from your pussy. 
Despite the pleasure that you’re falling back into again, you grow flustered at the noises and raise your hands up to your face, covering it and hiding yourself from him, but your action only earns you another slap to your clit. 
“Uh uh,” Steve shakes his head at you, letting go of your leg, he reaches forward and grabs both of your wrists with one hand, dragging your hands away from your face, “don’t hide from me.”
“But–”
He curls his fingers into your g-spot, tearing a gasp from you. 
“No buts,” he grumbles, as he moves steadily, fingering your pussy roughly now. He angles his hand differently, the end of his palm now brushing against your aching clit every time he thrusts his fingers deeply into you. 
He shuts you up quickly, making every word, every sentence get caught in your throat. 
His left hand fondles your boobs, your waist, your stomach, your hip – he touches you everywhere, leaving every inch of your skin burning with desire. His fingertips dig deeply into your leg as he keeps you spread open, his thigh keeping your other leg from closing, as he abuses your cunt with his fingers that are much longer than your own. 
Your back arches in pleasure, your sensitive core crying for more. 
The feeling inside of you is different, new, but you aren’t surprised by it, he edged you three or four times tonight, tears of frustration fell from your eyes, those tears that are now caused by pleasure and sensitivity. 
Your whimpers are so erotic to him, just like the wetness he can hear as he is knuckles deep inside of you, stretching you open. He can see the goosebumps on your skin and the way your stomach tenses up, the way your breathing stutters. 
You are in bliss, he can see it on your face, there is not a single thought in that pretty head of yours. 
He leans down, pressing into you as he inches closer to your face, pecking your lips, “no one else can make you feel like this… no one.” He whispers against your lips, placing another kiss upon them before he moves to your marked up neck, ghosting over it and inching down to your chest, trailing kisses along the way to your boobs. He wraps his lips around your nipple, looking up at you, he begins to suck, adding more pleasure to your body. 
You belong to him. 
“Steve!” You whimper, throwing your hands into his hair, you let your fingers get lost in it. 
He moans against you, quickening the pace of his fingers, curling them even harder inside of you, making you shudder at the feeling, jolting even when he presses his thumb against your swollen clit. 
You tremble beneath him, the wave of pleasure being so strong that a sob falls from your lips, your fingers curling into his hair roughly, “fuck… baby,” you whine. 
A surprised whimper falls from his own lips, the nickname stopping every thought in his mind, for a second. 
Baby, Baby, Baby… 
No one has ever called him that, no one. The fact that you are the first, somehow makes it better, and he doesn’t even know why. 
The coil inside of you grows bigger and bigger, an unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your lower stomach, making drool form on your tongue and stars blur your vision. Your nerves feel as though they are on fire, your skin prickling as he fucks you roughly. 
“I-I’m so close,” you whimper and scrunch your face up as you move your hips a little, meeting his thrusts. 
He is so lost in you and your moans, he doesn’t even realize that he is biting, tugging on your nipple with his teeth until a new, higher moan escapes you. 
“O-Oh my god,” you whisper shakily as your eyes roll back, “S-Steve! That feels so good!” 
“Yeah?” He murmurs against you, lips returning to your neck, he pecks it a few times as he looks down, watching the way your thighs tremble, the way the muscles in your stomach tense so tightly and your chest rises up and down so much heavier than before, “your thighs are shaking so much… holy shit.” 
The pressure inside of you becomes so overwhelming, it feels a lot, it feels too much. 
“S-Steve,” you tremble, “t-that feels weird.” 
Your voice sounds so small, unsure, yet the moans won’t stop escaping you. 
“No, baby, you’re doing so good,” he whispers as he lets go of your leg, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, he wipes your tears and brushes your hair out of your face, pressing his thumb against your bottom lip, “just trust me… let go for me.” 
You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, not even when he starts peppering your face with kisses. 
The pleasure is too much, the pressure makes you panic slightly, but he doesn’t stop, if anything, he fucks you harder and faster with his fingers, keeping them curled inside of you, his palm keeps brushing your overstimulated clit. He is hoping to get what he has been seeking. You haven’t trembled this much before, and he is confident, he is so confident that you won’t forget this, that you won’t forget how he made you feel, that you won’t forget him. 
“C’mon,” he murmurs against your lips, “I know you want to.”
Your bottom lip shakes, the pressure threatening to explode inside of you, every inch of your body now burning and quivering. 
You let go of his hair and throw your hand down to wrap your fingers around his wrist, your eyes open, and you look at him through your blurry vision. 
Your moans and the squelching that gets louder and louder, sounds that are like music to his ears, making his stomach flutter and his dick twitch again – to his own surprise. 
“I-I can’t– too much, Steve!” You whine, nearing an edge you have never touched before, “I’m gonna–”
You never get to finish your sentence, because as Steve plunges his fingers in even deeper, and curls them harder. You can only throw your head back, a mix between a squeal and a whimper falling. 
Steve nearly stops all of his movements when you clench around his fingers like a vice. 
Your hips jerk upwards as liquids shoot out of you, and he gets to where he wanted. 
“H-Holy shit–”
Steve’s eyes widen, a chuckle of amusement and excitement leaving his lips, he stares at you in awe. Surprised at the tent in his pants, he is rock hard again. 
He keeps pounding his fingers in and out of you, not stopping his movements just yet. With a smirk, he leans down to kiss your cheek, cooing at you, “you’re such a good girl for me.” He says possessively. 
Your walls unclench around him, and he thinks it’s all, when you suddenly clench again, tighter than before, another shockwave rushes through your body, and you squirt even more, the leather beneath you becoming even wetter than before. 
Steve’s hand is drenched, up to his elbow, and so is the front of his jeans, his stomach and the window behind him. The evidence of how good he made you feel is all over his seats, filling him with pride. 
A satisfied smirk plays on his lips, he feels like he’s on top of the world, he feels like a fucking king again, knowing that he brought such pleasure to your body. 
He never even thought that this was possible, that this move in porn movies is nothing but a myth, but he had to try, he had to try it with you. It would have shamed him before to admit he had been watching more porn than usual just to do the things he sees with you, but now? He feels like he is the most intelligent person in the world.
Your body falls limp, whines and whimpers still filling the space around you, tears roll down your cheek as you’re trying to catch your breath. 
Steve pats your cheek, caressing it gently as he stares at you fondly, “hey, are you okay?” He whispers, unable to stop himself from pecking your lips. 
You nod weakly, still needing a moment to come down from the high. 
He keeps kissing you, playing with your hair as he caresses your skin, pulling his fingers out of you after a while, making you whine again. 
You open your eyes, struggling to keep them open after the intense orgasm you just had. You look into his eyes, they’re filled with victory. A proud smile playing on his lips. 
You raise your eyebrows when you notice the drops on the window, the wet seats, his soaked hands and the wetness beneath you. 
Heat rushes up to your cheeks, embarrassment rushes through you and you can’t help but gasp as you look around the mess that you made. Tears blur your vision, “o-oh my god!” You say weakly, shakily as you start crying, catching him off guard, “I-I’m so sorry, Steve!” 
You press your palms against the wet seats and push to sit up. 
Steve shakes his head at you, he cups your cheeks and shushes you by kissing your lips again, “fuck, Blondie, don’t cry – holy shit, that was so fucking hot,” he chuckles, “it’s just leather, sweetheart. And honestly, this feels like a fucking victory to me.”
You blink through your tears, looking at him with big and glassy eyes, your heart still pounds in your chest, shame swirling deeply in your chest. 
“Really?” 
He nearly faints at the look in your eyes. 
Who would’ve thought that Steve would ever get to see you like this or that he’d get to be the one to make you come undone so intensely? 
You are so vulnerable, right now. It tugs at his heartstrings, knowing that you struggle with emotions, that you hate showing weakness and tears – yet here you are, even if it’s only out of shame, it shows him that you trust him, even if only a little. 
You’re unaware of the fluttering in his chest that you cause, the warmth around his heart as he stares at you. He traces your cheek before he slips his hands down to your waist. 
You look so fucking cute. 
How can he not adore you when you look at him like this?
He gulps as he is completely aware of the way his heart feels. 
You’re going to be a problem, that’s for sure – but he can’t find it in himself to care, not now. 
He sits back and pulls you along with him, dragging you into his lap, he surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shaking, hot body. He pulls you into him so he can hug you, he cups the back of your head and makes you relax against his chest. He presses a kiss to your forehead, feeling the need to treat you gently, sweetly. 
Your breath hitches in your throat, his actions doing nothing to calm your racing heart.
It takes you a moment, but eventually, you calm down and close your eyes as you bury your face in his bare chest, his hair tickling your cheek a little. Steve runs his finger up and down your spine, making your heart race. 
Your body is aching, your legs are trembling, you nearly squeal when his crotch brushes against your center as you try to move closer to him.
“Wait,” he whispers, he grabs your waist again and changes your position, moving both of your legs over his thighs instead, so you don’t have to straddle him, and then, he pulls you back into his chest again. He brushes his fingers against your upper arm, stroking your skin softly, “is that better?” 
You nod. 
“Good,” he whispers, letting all his emotions guide him as he presses a kiss to your temple. 
“Y-You made me squirt,” you whisper, blushing. 
He chuckles, looking down at you and the way your cheek is pressed against his chest, “yeah Blondie, I made you squirt. I never did that in my life, you never did that in your life, we should put a memory plaque here.” 
Finally, a giggle falls from your lips, and you look up at him, amusement shining in your eyes. 
“I need a shower and sleep for like… three days straight.” 
Steve chuckles, squeezing you tighter, he finds himself liking the feeling of holding you this way, he can’t help but want to pull you closer. 
“I’m happy to provide all that for you,” he smiles down at you. 
Steve likes to see you in his clothes, he likes it when you take showers at his place and make his bathroom smell like your shampoo and your sweet body wash. 
He missed it last night. 
He clears his throat, his smile falling a bit, “why didn’t you uh… call me the past two days?” 
You hesitate, not wanting to show your face to him, you keep your head down. 
“Oh uh… I felt sick, nauseous, probably because of something I ate, maybe it was Eddie’s attempt at the homemade burrito…”
Steve’s mind was plagued with ugly thoughts after seeing you with Jacob, but this is beginning to ease his mind a little. 
“Wait so,” he blinks, sitting up straighter as he continues to look down at you, “you were home?” 
You nod, meeting his eyes, “where else would I be?”
It’s not exactly a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. You had an appointment in the morning, one that you had been nervously awaiting for weeks. 
The tension that remained leaves his body completely now, relief rushes through him, making him relax fully. 
“I thought… since Jacob was back–”
Your lips part in surprise as your eyes widen, before a smile appears on your lips. 
“Aw, is Stevie jealous and worried that someone is going to take his place?” You ask him, taunting him a little. 
Yeah, he actually is. 
But he can’t tell you that, can he? 
He pinches your ass with his fingers, a smirk tugging at his lips, “don’t get all bratty now, or I will show you how no one can replace me… again.” 
You’re a little taken aback by all the comments, by his actions today, by the softness of his touch, right now. He didn’t fight you on it. He just told you to not be bratty instead of telling you to stop thinking that way.
Today, he treated you as though you were his. 
He acted out of jealousy and was possessive over you, and in the end, he pulled you into his arms, treating you with such gentleness that it will surely leave a stain in your heart forever. 
This is dangerous, he is dangerous. 
He is giving you a glimpse of something that you will never have. 
He is showing you colors, you can’t ever see with anyone else. 
And maybe, this should be enough to make you run into safety, to protect your heart from the pain it will suffer when it’s all over. 
But in what world, would you ever run from him?
You know how this will end, but it won’t stop you from kissing his lips and letting him into you. 
He can break your heart and shatter your soul for all you care. 
It’s all his anyway. 
-
Eddie looked all over for you, the backyard, the kitchen, even the bathroom and the bedrooms, he was sick with worry as he searched for you. He got distracted when Robin forced him into a game of beer pong, with Argyle and Vickie, and lost sight of you. 
The girl ended up calming him down, when she told him that Steve took you home, you looked sick apparently. But Eddie knows better than that. 
He knows deep in his gut that his suspicions were right, that he wasn’t thinking into it too deeply. 
On his way out of Vickie’s house, he bumps into someone, turning around to apologize, he finds a very drunk Jacob, he raises his hands up, slurring out an apology, but then a confused frown appears on his face when he seems to recognize him. 
“Munson, you’re friends with her, right?” 
“Huh, with who?” Eddie mumbles, tilting his head. 
Jacob says your name and Eddie blinks a few times and slowly nods, “best friends actually, what of it?”
The tall jock smells like beer and weed mixed together as he steps closer, invading his space a little. 
“Well, I mean, is she dating Harrington or something?” Jacob asks, shaking his head. 
Eddie raises his eyebrows, curiosity sparking inside of him. 
“Um…” He could say no, he definitely could, but Jacob seems like a source of information right now, and he decides to use this opportunity to find out more, “what makes you think that?” 
“Well, the fact that this guy cockblocked me two times tonight is the main one. Tried flirting with her and he just pulled her away and even dared to glare at me as if I were the one interrupting his conversation, man." Jacob is slurring, rambling, and he just looks like a guy that lost the opportunity, not someone who would push you into a date or something. 
But Eddie is stunned by the revelation, so he pressed forward.
“Two times?”
“Yeah, the first one he took her somewhere as soon as I started talking to her, and the next he interrupted us so he could leave with her... Say sorry to Harrington for me, she didn't tell me she was dating him,” he mumbles, waving his hand as he rolls his eyes and steps.
Eddie’s gears work, trying to figure out a way to confirm all of this, but for now, the information is enough, his suspicions only growing with certainty. A small honest smile appears on his face and he pats Jacob on the shoulder.
“Thank you Leeney. I'll make sure to let Stevie know.” 
The blond nods and steps away, giving him a weak smile before he walks off, leaving Eddie by himself. 
His dark brown eyes flash with understanding and realization, a laugh of disbelief falling from his lips as he puts all the puzzle pieces together. 
He brings his hand up to his chin and shakes his head when he thinks of the marks on both yours and Steve’s skin. 
A scoff falls from Eddie’s lips. 
“Chandler and Heidi, right.” 
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @taintedcigs @joekeerysmoles @ibellcipem @maroon-cardigan @sherrylyn628 @corrodedcorpses @munsonlore @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars
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jupiterenergyn · 5 months ago
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astro observations '2
Hey everyone🤍
Take what resonates and always leave what does not, enjoy and please note english is not my first language
I took placements from my recent post sorry if yours is not included I couldn't fit all of them :(
I think 8th house moon need to learn to overcome there inner fears. Psychologists and psychotherapists can help them with this. Having completed self-defense courses and learned to fight off ill-wishers, a person will gain confidence in himself and his safety.
Jupiter in leo are queen/kings they slay
With a strong Mars, they will do this aggressively. But with a harmonious position of two planets, they will be able to make fun of the passion for applause and admiration.
Scorpio MC are diligence in work, and can have desire for high earnings they love money.
Jupiter in 1th house can have big @ss hehe sorry not sorry
7th house leos need to understand in order to find king they need to become queen themselves (or opposite )
(tw)
people with mars in the 8th house knows firsthand what risk and extreme are. In ther life, there are situations when they have to seriously fear for there life and fight for existence. These can be material losses, accidents, attacks, violence, threats from enemies, dangerous diseases, surgeries, etc.
The 8th house in saturn native has a habit of investing funds, albeit at low interest rates, but in a reliable bank. Particular preference is given to investments in real estate. The owner of Saturn in the 8th house can demonstrate his abilities by working as a tax inspector, chief accountant, financial controller, etc.
Venus conjunct mars people are good at finance sport and art.
For girls they do bomb make up, a lot of make up artists have this placement
Lilith conjunct moon screams mommy issues
You or ur mom can be manipulative, u also can have good intuition
You can become psychologist or be interested in it, you can have self-reliance, which was broken or absent in principle due to dependence or overprotection of the mother, which means that you will either crave the worship of the crowd in any form, intoxicated by the feeling of self-importance, or, like a remora fish, will find a partner similar to the mother.
(I can talk about this placement forever)
Just make sure to figure out your relationship with mother and do shadow work
I hope this post was helpful 🫶🏻
Feel free to ask anything
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jarofstyles · 6 months ago
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Flower 2
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Okay so I really love these babies so I think I'm gonna do 3-5 parts! I'm loving the tension hehe. Let me know your thoughts!
Flower Masterlist
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WC-4.6k
Warnings- mention of age gap romance, mention of bdsm, mention of bad sexual experiences, loads of sexual tension, low-key sugar daddy h, trust me
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Sleep didn’t come too easily for her, but she felt absolutely wired when she woke up. Her coffee only made it worse as she wrapped herself up in the dark wash denim jacket she’d borrowed from Harry when he drove her home a few weeks back. His truck pulled into the driveway and she was grabbing her tote bag and phone, making sure to lock up before turning to face him. 
There was a weird expression on his face- something she couldn’t place. It wasn’t quite angry or mad, but it was a little darker as his eyes ran over her face and then body. He remained quiet until she got down her porch steps. “S’that… my jacket?” He asked lowly. The tone was strange to her as he stepped closer, tugging on the collar of it. 
“Yeah, it’s really cute and I figured I could wear it around today and give it back to you at the end. Is that… is that okay?” She worried her brows. “I can take it off now if you want to wear-“
“No.” He cut her off. “No, it’s totally fine. It just… it looks really good on you, is all.” He mumbled, squeezing her shoulder. “You look beautiful, as always.” His compliment was genuine, feeling his finger tap her nose, making her crinkle it. “Put the shiny stuff on it again? Your fairy sparkle?” 
Y/N laughed out loud at his nickname for her highlight on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. “Mhm. I got a new pink one, think it suits me.” And maybe she’d been a lot more meticulous about her makeup now that she had a feeling this may be a more-than-friends situation. “I really like this look.” It was a tease, considering he wore the same thing off duty. Jeans and some sort of tee shirt with a quirky phrase or obscure musician on them. Today’s was relatively tame with a bee surrounded by some words about honey and health. Cute. “I actually like the tee today. A bit muscle-y.” His arms looked real fucking nice in this one. Of course he would have some considering he worked with his hands and was a pretty physical person but… damn. She allowed herself to admire it, respectfully. 
It wasn’t something she’d caught before but a slight pink brushed his cheeks at her compliment. “Thanks, petal.” He smiled. “I… I got us some coffee, got your favorite. It’s only half an hour away but I figured….”
“You know I love coffee. You’re the best, as usual.” She sighed, leaning into him to have a hug. It wasn’t usual for her to do it first but he reacted quickly, pulling her close as he rubbed her back, content to keep her there forever. He was never the first to pull back from a hug, but Y/N would happily stay like this for hours  if the option was there. He smelled good, was so warm and sturdy and he knew exactly how to play with hair. Unfortunately she did have to pull back, shooting him a shy smile as he took her by the shoulder to the car. 
Of course he opened the door for her, made she she was in properly before jogging to his own side. He ever did the whole hand on the back of the seat while backing out move, which… wow. It never missed. The weirdest turn on, but something about it just elevated a man. 
His car smelled ridiculously good, and judging by the little clips on his air vents, he had just changed them. He had a few lanyards for access to work yards and membership cards to certain stores, but no fun little fuzzy dice, or a air freshener with a kitty on it like she had. There and then, she took a mental note to get him one. Maybe a puppy one, though. His German shepherd was his best friend.
“Are you getting any books?” She asked him after a little time passed. The chatter had been casual so far, easy. The tension she felt since last night wasn’t bad in the car if she continued topic switching and slight gossip. 
“Mm, I dunno. I haven’t done much reading lately. What are you gonna get?” He questioned, sneaking a peek at her as they stopped at a red light. 
“Probably romance. I’ve been most interested in that. I’ve seen some good book recommendations online and the girls sent me some, Gia and I wanted to do a book club thing for one of the books by our favorite author. It’s a bad boy romance but it’s called Reaper.” She figured he’d have no idea what that was, but she watched his brow raise as he gave her a look. 
“Well… you do have a naughty side, don’t you?” He snickered, watching her eyes widen. “Think m’clueless? Just because I don’t read a lot doesn’t mean my ears don’t work. Tony told me his wife was reading that and it’s full of sex. Basically erotica.” He licked his lip, looking her over. 
“Oh- well, yes there’s sex but there’s plot to! Just because a book has sex doesn’t mean it isn’t good!”’she crossed her arms, huffing at him. It was a bit to rile him up a bit considering he was doing it to her and it worked. She watched his mouth open and close before rushing out an explanation. 
“No! No, m’not saying that. It’s not bad at all. It’s empowering, but uh, I was just saying I didn’t expect you to read books like that.” He had to pull away as the light turned green but he looked a little stressed that he offended her. 
“I’m joking, H. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” She snickered, watching his face turn to a bit to a scowl. “What, you thought I’m a nun or something? Just cause I’m not spilling all my stories at the table doesn’t mean I don’t have them.” She knew a lot of the group was very open about their sexual experience which was more than fine with her. Y/N was nosy and loved knowing other people's business, But in her life she didn’t share sex related things. It was private, for her and her partners. She didn’t want to betray their trust either, regardless of the terms they were on. 
“I….” His face was more pink now, hands flexing around the wheel as he cleared his throat. “I just thought maybe you didn’t care as much about it. Which is fine, by the way! It’s cool. I just wasn’t sure you cared too much. You never talk about it when we have our confession nights so I… I was being a bit presumptuous. I’m sorry. It just shocked me a little.” 
It was funny to make him squirm a bit but he didn’t need to feel bad. “It’s fine. Promise. No one really asks anyway, so I don’t offer it up first. I’m usually private about it because some of our friends are loud mouths but you can ask me stuff if you want. Maybe after we get our books you can ask me whatever questions come up.” She knew there would be plenty based on his face alone. 
“Really?” He seemed surprised. “Yeah, sure. I mean, I’m not trying to be weird or anything but you know about the time I called someone by the wrong name and the girl who put her tongue in my ear so….” He shrugged one shoulder. 
“Oh, god.” Her giggle was muffled by her hand. He had shared some of his horror stories and she’d found out he was a bit of a bondage fan and dabbled in kinky stuff but until now that info had been locked away in her brain under padlock and key. Suddenly someone had taken nippers to the lock and it was spilling out again, staining the floor. “Yeah… I suppose that is fair.” Angling her knees towards her, she stirred her coffee with the straw. “I think the worst thing that’s happened to me… hm. Probably the time I went home with a guy after a few dates in college and his place was really gross, but he was even more so. Like…” her nose scrunched. “Took his pants off and there was a smell coming from them. I couldn’t do it.” 
“Oh, fuck.” He hissed, wincing at the thought. That was pretty much a nightmare situation. Harry always smelled good and never seemed to be anything but hygienic so she knew he gave a shit about it but still. No one wanted to think of that. “That’s… unfortunate for both of you. Was he embarrassed? How did you get out of it?” 
“He wasn’t, is the thing. Said ‘girls should like a natural musk’ and I told him that it wasn’t a musk, it was a stench. He wasn’t happy with that so he didn’t refuse when I left. I had to take a long shower after that.” Shuddering in disgust, she hated recalling that. “At first I felt really guilty too, cause that’s such a hard thing… but he ended up being such a dick. It was surprising considering he had been sweet on the dates but apparently men change a lot in the bedroom.” That was an understatement. 
“I can agree with that, but I’d hope it’s a positive change.” He shook his head at the thought. “Like, sweet in the streets and freak in the sheets or whatever the saying is.” 
A laugh peeled from her throat, leaning her head against the headrest with her face turned towards him. “Yeah, close enough. But ideally they would be. I dunno, you don’t have to be crazy to be good in the bedroom but I’d hope for the same level of respect. Some men have no idea how to actually handle women so it’s partly why I stopped dating.” And why she had stayed up looking at his Instagram last night and thinking about how she’d look inserted in his life. Harry seemed like a man who could potentially handle her. 
“I wish I could disagree but I can’t. I’ve heard many horror stories from girls, way more traumatizing than men. It’s why…” he stopped himself. “Sorry, was gonna overshare. But I can only imagine how it is and if it’s any consolation, I’m sorry for all the men.” 
God, he was cute.  But… wait. 
“No no, you can definitely  overshare.” She perked up. “If you want to, anyway. I don’t mind.” Blinking at him, he cut a look at her and let out a laugh as he lifted a hand to run it over his chin, the slight sound of skin scratching stubble audible in the cab of his truck. 
“Well, I was gonna say it’s why I try t’be aware of that when I’m with someone that their comfort is first. If there’s anything they don’t like they can say it, that m’not gonna be mad. I don’t want someone to walk away from something with me and feel uncomfortable.” Seeing him a little shy was really fucking adorable. “I don’t really do hookups anymore. They’re not fulfilling, at least not to me. Lost their appeal a few years ago but, the few relationships I’ve been in the whole goal was to make them feel good. I think there’s a lot of selfishness that’s mainly revolved around men and sex, which I noticed a lot. The fact that a lot of women aren’t getting off at all is fucking ridiculous.” He scoffed, looking truly bothered by it. 
Another point added to his growing list. 
“Yeah, it is. It was rare I could because for me, and I think a good amount of women, there needs to be the foreplay aspect of it. Mentally, I need to be stimulated. Y’know, like teasing or not so clean talking.”
It was her turn to feel a little shy but she powered through. “And men can dive right in. It’s where we differ a lot of the time. I think part of it is biological too, I guess. I tried hooking up for a while but it never did anything for me either. I prefer someone with a connection so it’s easier to get to that point.” Now she was the one oversharing. 
“I understand that. I like those things too. A bit of cat and mouse can be fun…” he pushed his hair back before returning his hands to the wheel, squeezing it. “It’s laziness and selfishness. I’d say for me personally, M’more of a giver. Not saying it to praise myself or anything but it’s just… it’s what I like.” There was a pause. “Sorry if that’s a bit much.”
No, it wasn’t enough. She wanted to know more. Her neglected cunt was more than interested in how he was in bed and if he’d like to be a giver for her, but she had to at least try to behave. 
“It’s not. We’re just being honest, right?” She placed a hand on his knee, giving a daring squeeze and let it linger for a few moments before peeling it away. Again, testing the waters of initiating touch. Once she’d realized last night that she hadn’t shown her own interest much she had vowed to at least try today to see how he'd respond.
In this instance his smile grew and he couldn’t look right at her, but he nodded at what she’d said. “Yeah. I jus’ don’t want to seem like some creep. But uh, what other sort of books do you like? Romance, yeah, but what sort of tropes?” He did know some of those. 
“Oh, I’m pretty adventurous.” A double meaning. “I like the grumpy and sunshine ones, the billionaire romances, mafia is a guilty pleasure. Meet cute is something else I enjoy for a light read. I dunno, I think I mainly go for what the summary calls to me for. I do read some darker stuff but it’s nice to have a little fantasy world to escape to. And the fantasy men know how to find a clit.” Throwing the joke in there was meant to diffuse some of tension but somehow it seemed to make it grow. 
Not in a bad way, per say, but he looked at her curiously. “Don’t tell me that all of them couldn’t….”
“No, no. Some of them did, but majority no. They rub the side and think they’re doing something. But I’ve never faked it, I refuse to give a man an ego boost for something he didn’t do.”
“Good on ya, petal. S’bullshit that they get off and you don’t.” He genuinely seemed bothered by it. “Buncha pricks is what they are.” 
“They are.” She snickered. “But I’ll let you read some of the blurbs for the books I pick out today, you can get a read on what sorta books I like.” It was yet again, another way to experiment. 
“I’m very intrigued to see what you’re into.” 
Y/N hopes that held a double meaning too. 
—-
Harry was hovering a bit. 
Normally that would annoy her. She’d huff and tell him to sit in the cafe, or go look at his own books- but she hoped that it was because he was paying attention to what she picked up. 
Plus, he was holding the basket for her. 
The store was earthy and rustic, exposed wooden beams running along the ceilings. There was a little cafe that served teas and coffees which she definitely planned on getting after her shopping, and from her nosy look over when Harry greeted the owner she had seen a blueberry scone. That would be coming home with her too. 
The shelves were high and they had multiple different sections. It was far bigger than any indie bookstore she had been to in the past , and that lead her to quickly realize quickly she was going to make a monthly trek out here. Maybe Harry would be interested in joining her in them. 
Maybe he’d be interested in doing a lot more with her. 
“I’m almost done.” She promised, plopping a used copy of a vacation town romance into the basket. It had to be a little heavy but Harry didn’t complain. It didn’t even look like the weight bothered him, the basket hanging off his arm. They’d stuck mostly to the used section considering they were far cheaper, but she was ready to go for the new ones now. 
So what if she took a little bit out of her savings for this? She deserved a little treat for once. 
“There’s no rush, Flower.” He assured her, following closely behind her as she moved towards the new books. “I was wondering if….” There was a pause as she looked up at him. It seemed to make his brain buffer for a moment, his eyes looking over her face before he blinked out of the stare. “Uh, it you wanted to have lunch or something after?”
Why was he so cute, and why did he look so nervous? Maybe Y/N wasn’t giving the signals she needed to. That would be her own fault, but it was hard to flirt when she was as serious as she was about her books. 
“On the condition that the iced mocha with a pump of caramel and the blueberry scone I get for the car ride doesn’t count as lunch, yes. I would very much enjoy that.” She chirped, watching the nerves melt off of his face. It was mind boggling that her of all people could cause him to be nervous in the slightest but you learned something new every day. 
“I’ll agree, because that’s more suitable for a dessert.” He drawled. Harry did like to tease her about her sweet tooth which always made her roll her eyes. So what if a girl liked to have a brownie with each meal? Life is nothing but spinning on an orb in space. You may as well enjoy the creature comforts. 
“If that’s your dessert I don’t think you’ve had a true one in a while.” The flirtation was light, testing the waters as she looked over the book covers. His eyes could be felt on the side of her face as he was quiet for a moment before letting out a little laugh. 
“Suppose I haven’t. You’re right. Maybe I’ll need to try yours and see what you mean.”
And oh. Oh. She did everything in her power not to react besides a little smirk, though she could feel the heat radiating off her cheeks. Harry could most defintely try her dessert whenever the fuck he wanted. 
“Should you be so lucky.” Was her slightly snarky reply, but he followed it up quite quickly. 
“One could only hope, Petal.” 
And yeah, maybe she felt her new heartbeat between her thighs as the newly heavier silence settled on them like oil in water, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. The anticipation was in her stomach as he got a bit closer, looking over her shoulder at the book she had picked up and was currently reading the back of. 
“What’s this one?” He asked, so close that she could feel the heat of his body against her back. 
“It’s called The Highest Bidder. It’s about… a girl who goes on an auction block at a BDSM club, he is one of the owners? Well he’s one of the richest. Anyways, I saw someone recommend it saying it has sugar daddy vibes and there’s some juicy stuff in it.” Y/N explained, taking the moment to lean back into him as she held the back cover for him to read. 
If he was surprised he didn’t show it. Instead, his hand came up to rest on her shoulder, pinky finger nearly grazing the side of her neck as he looked over to read. Such a casual touch of affection, but he seemed to like it. “And you’re gonna get this one?” It was a bit weirdly arousing feeling the vibrations of his words through his chest and onto her back. 
“I think so. I haven’t read an age gap for a while. Just hope the sex scenes aren’t shit. It’s hard to tell with books sometimes, even if they’re more kinky oddly enough. I’ve seen books that have the best summaries and seem super steamy have a two pump sex scene- or fade to black. Which, you know, is fine. Not all books need to have that, but what’s the point of making the book seem like it then?” She muttered. Clearly she had been victim to it a time or two.  “Then the authors get mad about low goodreads reviews. It’s like, cmon! Don’t mislead the readers about the book then.” 
It was something the woman did get passionate about when provoked, but Harry had opened that can of worms in the car when he had given his go ahead that he didn’t mind discussing things like this with her. 
“Mm. I see.” He nodded and she swore she could hear the smile in his voice. “Show me the others you want to get.” 
Y/N felt increasingly more comfortable as she went through the next five books, letting him read the back covers and giving him the low-down about what she had heard about them. Each time they moved their position would go back to where it was, with his hand on her shoulder and her back leaned into him, only he had gotten a little braver with running his smallest finger back and forth over the side of her neck. 
It nearly made her choke when she first felt it. She definitely stuttered when he did it, but she didn’t comment on how the little action felt incredibly intimate and soft, yet charged with an unspoken sexual energy that would probably kill her if she thought about it too long. Harry was being casual about it, but he always had been. He’d been the first to initiate most touches with her that Gia said were abnormal. Of course he didn’t start off their friendship by being super grabby and touchy but it had morphed into that, and it definitely did take him by surprise when she had initiated last night and again today. Kind of like she was reinforcing that it was more than okay to touch. 
“Are you sure you’re done?” He asked after placing her final book in the basket. Y/N felt like if she didn’t stop this weird, hot position of him asking questions about the books earnestly and his chaste-yet-sexy touches she may bend over the book table and get inappropriate really fucking fast. 
“Mhm.” She assured him. “Please, I’m gonna have to dip into the rainy day fund to afford all the stuff from today but it’ll be so worth it.” The sun shone through the windows and highlighted his features which, god, had her testing her own willpower. Of course she was far too shy to be super direct with him verbally, but she didn’t hide the fact that she was admiring him. 
Considering she had already been successful in her little experiments today, she saw the lock of hair that had flopped over his forehead and decided to push it back. Letting her fingers card through his hair, she pushed the strands out of his face and back into place. If she hadn’t been looking so intently she wouldn’t have seen the shiver he had from the action. His hair was so soft and obvious that Harry took care of it, and she had never really touched it all that much but the temptation had been too much. “Sorry, it was bothering me so it must have been bothering you.” She said simply, giving him a small smile. “I’m just gonna run to the restroom quickly and then we can check out. Okay?”
“Course.” He cleared his throat, nodding his head as if the question had taken a moment to load in his head. “I’ll be by the cafe then.”
Y/N really hated that bookstores made her have to go in there but it was a right of passage. Taking care of her business took only a few minutes, but when she came out she didn’t see him at first. 
He wouldn’t just leave her, so it took her a second to realize he was leaving the counter, two bags of books hanging off his arms and two coffees in the little tray. A brown paper bag clutched crumbled in the hand he used to balance the drink tray, making her eyes widen.
“Hey! I was gonna pay for our coffees and stuff.” She pouted as he approached. “You’ll have to let me get lunch then.” Her eyes went down to the two tote bags with the store logo on them. “Ooo, that’s so nice that they gave you these to hold them in. Let me just grab my wallet and we can go to the till to-“
“Don’t worry about it.” He cut her off, shrugging a shoulder. There was a pregnant pause, her eyes blinking rapidly before her eyebrows crinkled. 
“What do you mean? I have to pay.”
“They’re paid for.” The reply was simple and matter of fact. Again, words escaped her as she looked between him and the books. 
“Did you-“
“I paid. It’s fine, Flower.”
“Uh, what?” Her eyebrows shot up as her stomach dropped. It did the weird thing that had her feeling a little lightheaded as he stood there, like he didn’t just spend probably close to two hundred on books. “No way I can accept that.”
“If I told you I got a discount for building this place will it help?”
“Harry.” She said quietly. “You…. Why?” 
“Because I’m happy you agreed t’spend the day with me.” The reply was so to the point, not hiding anything at all that it almost felt unreal. Hell, it did feel unreal because who the fuck spent two hundred on books for a friend? Granted, she had a feeling-or a hope- there was a crush in there, but it felt like a huge gesture. 
“You already do so much for me.” She swallowed the lump down her throat. “You help me at my place and you drive me home from get togethers and you buy me drinks when we go out and… I feel like it’s a lot. I surely don’t do as much for you.”
“I’d do even more if you let me.” He stared honestly, nothing but truth on his face. “So jus’ let me do this for you. I want to. It makes me happy.” 
Y/N didn’t know how to argue with that. Instead, she nodded, and reached to take the bag and coffee tray from him since he had the much heavier books. “Thank you. I could cry, probably.” That wasn’t a joke. Her eyes felt like they were stinging. 
“None of that, Petal.” He shook his head. “C’mon. I’ve got plenty of questions and you’ve got answers you promised me on the way here.” Without thinking twice, he grabbed her free hand with his own, tangling their fingers before leading her to the truck. 
Y/N had no idea how so much had changed in 24 hours,
But she had a feeling it was about to change a whole lot more.
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boba-beom · 6 months ago
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✮⋆˙ baby, I love you | CHOI YEONJUN NSFW
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PAIRING. fiancé!yeonjun x fiancée!reader GENRE. soft smut, fluff SYNOPSIS. after attending the rehearsal dinner two nights before your wedding day, the tension and excitement rises continuously. your fiancé has been working hard with the preparation of your future together, and it's only right you show him the love he deserves. WARNINGS. p w/ p, kinda sub!yeonjun, soft dom service top!!reader, oral (m. rec), body worship (m. rec), praise and praise and dirty praise, balls love, soft sex, breeding kink, simp talk from yeonjun hehe, petnames;(baby, love, pretty boy etc.) WC. 2.4k A/N. I've had these thoughts leaving and coming back so join my jjun brainrot with me 🫠 also took some inspo from Angel 2 Me — Mckay ft Jeff Bernat. enjoy reading!!!
pictures from twt accs @/page1305 and unknown T^T
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tipsy giggles and gentle affirmations fill the room along with loose touches between you and your fiancé. the feathery touches that you've grown accustomed to is now something you'll be feeling for the rest of your lives together, and that's something you'll cherish forever.
yeonjun's waited so long to have time alone with you; after the both of you have been busy with schedules that included your hen and stag-dos, pictorials and now the rehearsal dinner—this was finally the only time you'll be able to be alone and relax together. you were told you can't sleep together the night before the wedding so this was your chance to show yeonjun how appreciative you were of his planning throughout the past few weeks.
it started with his gentle caresses during the dinner, though surrounded by close friends and family, that didn't stop him from giving you a kiss to your temple here and there, or a stray hand that was attached to your waist half of the time.
then came talking to your guests; memorable and fun conversations igniting the excitement towards their favourite pre-wedded couple. glasses upon glasses of what deemed to be a little more than an appropriate amount of alcohol had yeonjun's cheeks flushed and yours burning up ever so slightly, but because of the company by many, the buzz was just so exhilarating that neither of you held back—but told each other tipsy to borderline drunk was when you would stop.
and now you're having to go through with the consequences of heightened senses—minds a little clouded but not enough to not know what you're doing. the consequences being wet kisses along each other's necks, slow wandering hands along each other's torsos and not leaving an inch of skin untouched.
you've shared plenty of tipsy kisses with yeonjun throughout your long six years of your relationship but every experience was never the same as previous ones. there were times where yeonjun was a little needier than you were, or perhaps rougher than other times, but either way you've enjoyed every single moment with him.
at this moment you feel more love than you've ever felt. may it be the excitement of getting married to him, knowing that this will be the man you will be calling your forever, or perhaps it's the fact that you're two and a half champagne glasses in and your need for yeonjun has elevated.
you crane your neck to the side, your hands lingering over the warmth radiating off of yeonjun's bare, broad shoulders while your chest heaves from his gentle kisses across your bare skin.
"mmh, you're so beautiful baby." he mumbles against your collar bone, kissing up to the side of your neck and taking note not to mark you... for now.
a sigh slips past your parted lips, eyes shut and taking in the hot trails of his hands circling your waist. his hands fits your body perfectly like your missing puzzle piece that you can finally set in stone. your hands wrap around his wrists lightly, opening your eyes to look at him; lips swollen from scattering his invisible love marks that only you can feel.
"sit on the bed for me, sweetheart." you kiss the edge of his plush lips, leading him to the edge of the pristine white sheets provided in this pretty villa.
and as your future husband, he obliges, eyes hooded and hazy with lust and love only for you.
yeonjun sits a little past the edge of the bed, leaning back so his elbows supports his weight, still looking up at you with his dark orbs that twinkled with specs of longing for you to act on your next move. as you walk over to him, the bed dips from your knees shuffling on either side of his legs until you're hovering him.
"such a pretty boy under me like this." your thumb and finger lightly lifts his chin to look up at you, only then you could see the smirk on your lover's lips.
"you look so sexy from this angle, think you should do it more often." he shifts underneath you, leaning on one arm as the other stretches out for him to hold your waist and lower your panty cladded core onto his bulge prominent in his slacks.
"yeah? I could get used to this." you chuckle and he does too.
"well, we have forever together. I'll let you do it as many times as you want to." you gasp a little from his words, but more so from him guiding your hips to grind down on his erection ever so slowly.
you still your hips immediately, causing yeonjun to tilt his head in confusion.
"let me." you whisper.
remembering that it's your time to shower him with love and appreciation, you dip into the crook of his neck and lay delicate kisses against his lightly tanned skin. you loved when the sun kissed his skin, whether or not you're in broad daylight your fiancé always looked like he was glowing.
he returns to leaning on his arms, attentively watching you gradually kissing down his bare chest, down along his soft abs until you're kneeling on the floor between his legs and your fingers are fiddling with his belt.
"you've worked so hard lately," you start, kissing his clothed knee while you undo his belt. "I just wanna show you how grateful I am..." your voice trails, unzipping his slacks and sliding your fingers over the buldge in his calvin klein boxers. "... grateful I get to call you my husband in two days."
yeonjun lets out a sharp gasp once your fingers hook onto the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down along with his slacks to have them pool by his ankles then discard them with his white blazer somewhere in the room. he groans quietly from your fingers skimming down his shaft and back up to wrap around his girthy cock, pretty pink tip decorated in clear beads dribbling down his length.
"so, so pretty." your eyes look up at yeonjun's, his cheeks blushed while you stick your tongue out to taste the salty beads, and his sighs only get louder.
that was your sign to take him deeper into your mouth. you fist his cock slowly before enveloping your lips around the head, heavy on your flat tongue until you gradually swirl around his length, slowing down the movement when you feel the prominent vein against the middle of your tongue.
you've given head to yeonjun plenty of times and he loved every single one of them just as much as you enjoy giving it to him. every time you do, your first and foremost priority is to make him feel good, and this is no different with your eyes steady on yeonjun and taking more of his length until the head carefully bumps the back of your throat.
yeonjun just loves the feeling of your warm and wet mouth encapsulating his cock, hot and heavy while you stop your head and pulling off of him with a string of saliva connecting your tongue and his tip.
"god that feels so good, I've been wanting to feel that mouth on me the past few days." he sighs, caressing your cheek then resorting to carding his fingers through your hair.
you suck on his pink, now red, tip, "then why didn't you say anything hunny?" your tongue immediately kitten licks his tip, having him twitch beneath you.
"because I didn't want to disrupt you," you sink down onto him, nose touching his pubic bone, "I know you're focused on- shit- wanting the best preparation for our big day."
you groan around his cock, throat sending pleasurable vibrations to the point yeonjun throws his head back with a moan a little louder than before. a few steady bobbing of your head and your throat contracting around his length has your eyes tearing up and yeonjun's moans picking up. luckily your shared room was the only one on the ground floor, but either way, you didn't care who would have heard the both of you regardless.
releasing his thick cock from your throat, you kiss down his shaft until your lips spoils his balls with soft kisses. the pace on his dick doesn't stop, your fist remains with steady pumps while you gently suck on his balls, toying your tongue around them. you know just how much yeonjun loves it when you play with his balls, almost guttural groans fill the room if it wasn't for his teeth biting down on his bottom lip.
"fuck baby, c'mere." yeonjun hisses once you take his balls out of your mouth one more time.
with ease, you crawl back onto your man's lap, seated prettily with your hands instinctively wrapping around his shaft, another brief smirk displayed on his face from the sight of your thumb and fingers hardly touching.
"you've been such a good boy, planning out almost everything, hm?" your brows softly scrunch feigning pity. "working so hard to have everything perfect, is that right?"
your fist picks up the speed, slick sounds of your saliva mixed with his pre-cum only leads to yeonjun panting and whining in your hold.
"always wan- want everything perfect for you, baby." he fights his head from leaning back, fixating on the motion of your fist.
"mhm? and you deserve to feel good, hunny."
at this point you were leaning close to yeonjun's ear, whispering plenty of praises and kissing his lobes while his hair strands were slowly falling over his face, the hairspray somewhat keeping it intact. he's always been such a beautiful man, but something about watching him fall apart ignites something inside of you.
you still had your panties on, the only piece of clothing between the both of you, but yeonjun could already tell that it was about time to lose the article of clothing knowing just how damp it is from your cunt leaking.
"think it's about time you take this off," his voice raspy as he hooks on the band of your panties, releasing it and having it slap your hip.
"be a darling and take it off for me?"
the bed dips again as you kneel higher, your hands planting on his shoulders for support. you make it easier for yeonjun to pull your panties down your thighs in a teasing manner; his lips latching onto your nipple, tongue swirling around the hardening bud until your last piece of clothing falls past your ankles.
"you're so beautiful," he mumbles against your nipple, releasing it with a pop and moving onto the other. a sound nothing short of a quiet whimper escapes his lips once your hand returns to his cock, his mouth hanging open almost immediately once the pace of your fist picks up. "oh yeah- fuck baby just like that."
"faster?" you tilt your head to the side, the same soft brows scrunching and lips slightly pouting at his chest heaving.
"yes, yes please," he lets out a strangled cry and you giggle at the sound, knowing that your pussy's dripping over his lap, but you hold yourself from rutting against his thigh. you just want to prioritise his pleasure over yours. "wanna be inside you, pretty."
yeonjun reaches out to hold onto your hips, chests colliding from pulling you forward. he aligns his tip at your entrance, returning with his lips finally on yours, whispering sweet pleas and promises of wanting to make you feel just as good.
"relax baby," you mumble, lightly nibbling on his lip. "gonna have you cum inside me and fill me up."
you sink down onto him, walls squeezing him and full of his thick cock with his tip nudging against your cervix. the both of you moan in unison, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and his one hand on your waist to help you lift your hips and sink back down on him again.
"fuck jjunie, your cock's always stretching me out so good." you whimper as you throw your head back, repeatedly bouncing on his dick and feeling him already twitching inside.
"need, mph, need you to cum with me baby." his free hand moves between your sweaty bodies, fingers naturally rubbing quick circles on your clit. he's so eager to have you catch up with his high, knowing that you'll be cumming in no time from the double simulation.
his lips are back on yours again, swallowing each other's moans and whimpers. your walls are uncontrollably spasming around your lover's twitching dick and you could feel your orgasm catching up to his. yeonjun's hands are both holding onto your waist as he fully lays his back against the bed, holding you up while he whimpers, raising his hips up to drill into your swollen cunt.
"oh baby! yeonjun I'm gonna cum!" you almost squeal from his rapid pace, your hands wrapping around his wrists.
"gonna fill you up so full, gonna make you a mommy on our wedding night." he babbles.
with a couple more harsh thrusts up into your cunt and joint moans, your thighs start shaking around his legs, staccato pumps of warm white ropes gradually fills you up deliciously. yeonjun's hands soothingly rubs the surface of your thighs, panting beneath you as he closes his eyes for a brief moment.
"so you really wanna start a family asap?" you ask him genuinely, leaning down and hovering over him as you peck up along his chest and neck, his dick still inside you.
"I mean, I wouldn't mind it." he kisses your forehead and lightly thrusts up into you, causing you to groan quietly in his hold as his cum leaks out slowly. "baby making's just too fun."
you scoff at his comment, shaking your head at him teasingly. once you've caught your breath you lean your head against his chest, listening to his heart beating.
"I wouldn't mind it either, hunny." you say simply. "I think you'd be a great dad to our children."
yeonjun lifts his head at you abruptly, eyes a little wide in curiosity.
"children? how many? I can give you as many as you want."
you chuckle at his excitement. he's always been so fond of children and him wanting his own is a part of his dreams.
"you're so cute." you cup his cheek and caress his soft skin. "no more than three is enough for me. but give me time in between–"
"oh yeah, of course. I still wanna be able to make love to my wifey without as much disruption." he cuddles you tighter, littering your face with chaste kisses. "baby, I love you so much."
his smile melts your heart, and you still can't believe you're going to marry this wonderful man.
" and I love you so much more."
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taglist: @bb-eilish @ericyjun @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten @day6andetcetera @dainsleif-when-playable @txt-yaomi @soobinsman @ahnneyong @wccycc @lizdevorak @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @itaehynz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @yunkiwii @prodsh00ky @moamidzyism @lovejoshua @aprilisque @ja4hyvn @beomnoullistheorem @seolis-world @jak-ey @my313 (send an ask to be part of the taglist! here's the spreadsheet for reference!)
feedback would be much appreciated <3 I haven't written in what feels like years T^T
© BOBA-BEOM ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.
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livelaughlovesubs · 4 months ago
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Heeeeya, Nini! How's it going? I can't believe its already been a year! I've been here since before that time you accidentally deleted your blog XD. Congrats! you've dominated the sub! bsd tag for forever and I'm living for it XD. For the event, can I please request Fyodor (bsd) with the prompt, 'Keeping their hands bound to make basic tasks difficult or impossible. Bonus: punish them for failing or making a mess'. Bro, I have an inability to be all that sadistic, even in fiction TwT, so for the punishment part, can I request something like tickling? Is that allowed?! LMAO- As always, feel free to delete/decline this if it makes you uncomfy, and have an awesome day. And again, congrats on one year!
AHHHHH DONT REMIND ME OF THAT TIME can’t believe how dumb I was 🥲 but thank you for being a long time follower hehe, the idea with tickling is very cute I love it
Dom!reader x sub!fyodor - reader is gn
Warning: humiliation, teasing, a tiny bit of degrading, tickling >:)
Anniversary event
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Thud thud thud
Someone was hammering on your door in the middle of the night, and they just didn’t stop. You’ve been trying to ignore it for the past minutes, but the sound only got louder.
Thud thud thud
“Ahhhh which fucker is it?!” In the end, you gave in and cursed, stomping to the front door before opening a small crack. “What is-” to your surprise you knew the person behind the door, it was fyodor, your boyfriend. “Huh?? Fedya? Why didn’t you use the bell?” You immediately swung the door open and invited him in, he gave you a bashful smile before entering. Then you shut the door behind him.
“You see…” he said, while he let his coat slip from his shoulders, revealing his hands which were bound tightly behind his back. “It proved to be pretty difficult to ring the bell three times, so I thought kicking the door would suffice.” That was the secret code you two agreed on, so that you’d know if it was him who’s standing on your doorway. “Ah…” you stared at his restricted limps, then at him, giving him a questioning glance. He didn’t provide any explanation or answers.
The male turned around to face you, who were still standing next to the door. “Well? Aren’t you going to help me?” He rushed you, but kept his soft smile. “Actually no, not yet.” You replied, crossing your arms in font of your chest. That attitude, were you mad with him? “…y/n, what do you want.” Finally he dropped the good-guy act, seemingly irritated by your behaviour. Normally you’d help without being this difficult, except when you aren’t in a good mood, something that seems to be the case here.
You walked past him and sat down on the couch, making yourself comfortable before saying, “bring me the remote.” Fyodor looked a tad baffled, though he didn’t think too much about it and walked to the shelf to the left of you, pondering for a moment on how to grab it, before using his mouth to bite the object. Then he brought it to you like an obedient puppy, right into your hand and cheeks flushed a bright shade of red. “Good job.” You praised him, scratching the underside of his chin a bit, intensifying his blush.
“Now bring me a scissor to cut those ropes. You can find it in the kitchen.” He glared at you when you didn’t stop ordering him around, especially since he found his actions pretty shameful. Nevertheless, he bit back his complains and went to the other room to get whatever you wanted. Once he found the scissor, he bit the handle of the tool, and carefully got back to your side. “That took you a while.” You chuckled, to which he scoffed, “are you done with the games now?” How furious he sounded, he wasn’t having half the fun you had huh?
You tilted your head to the side, acting like you were thinking about it, then said, “one last thing.” Before giving him a big smile. The male rolled his eyes at that, at least internally. “Bring me a glass of water, that’s my last request, promise.” After you finished your sentence, you raised your pinky finger, then said, “ah silly me, you can’t reciprocate it after all.” Fyodor mumbled, “you are unbelievable.” Then he made his way back to the kitchen. What else was he supposed to do, he needed your help.
Through much resilience and great efforts, he managed to get a cup out of your shelves. And he even managed to fill it with tap water! Afterwards he bit the handle of the cup, finding that to be the easiest course of action, and slowly walked over to you. This was now his third time running a stupid errand for you, and he really hoped this would be the last. On his way back, he accidentally spilled the water in the cup all over himself and the floor, causing him to yelp a little, “hmmm..!”
You turned your head to the source of the noise, giggling at the sight but not helping him. His blush darkened even more, and he closed the last bit of distance between you two. Without any commentary, you took the cup and put it on the table, grabbing the scissors and cutting through his binds. He didn’t expect you to not make fun of him, so consider him grateful.
Though after you were done, you got up from your seat, grabbing his shoulders as you sneered, “gosh, fyodor, you couldn’t even bring me a glass of water?” Guess he jinxed it. Even though considering the circumstances he was in, failing his task was a very possible outcome, he still felt humiliated by your words, or at least embarrassed. He wanted to argue, to try and keep some shreds of dignity when you bested him to it, saying, “shouldn’t you get a punishment for that?”
“A punishment?” As soon as these words left his mouth, you pushed him into the couch and tickled him. Attacking his stomach while responding through a huge grin, “yep! A punishment you can’t evade!” “What- ha- ahaha.. no, wait haha…! Stop!” He laughed involuntarily, kicking his legs around and trying to peel your hands off his body. “Haha.. s-stop, hahh.. really, hahaha~ I can’t-!!” Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes already, his clothes and hair all disheveled. “Hehe.. alright, the punishment is over.” You eventually said, reaching out to his face to wipe his tears away.
As if hit by the realisation, he abruptly stopped smiling, still blushing furiously as he gasped for air. When he breathing calmed down, he pouted, then wrapped his arms around your neck as he gave you a quick kiss on the lips, “you-… you better make it up to me for being mean.”
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sweetlady555 · 5 months ago
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My Personal Solar Return Observations Pt III
reminder to check your degrees in your sr chart as they play a big factor in how certain sr placements would play out!
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Venus 5H 17° SR - when i had this in my sr chart for 2023-2024 i saw myself experimenting more with different creative styles/looks. i would try to find inspiration from different creatives on instagram. while i was doing this, i started talking to a well known designer in that creative scene who had messaged me because he liked my style. it was a secret relationship because he cheated on someone to be with me which i thought they were completely done but he kept going back to her then back to me. he was obsessed with me and it was a really weird relationship, he would only come to me when his lustful desires were acting up and then would go when he was satisfied 💀. i was tired of this so i started talking to someone else and he found and his little ego got so hurt and he blocked me thank fucking god 😭😭!! I was also approached by another creative because he wanted to use my face as inspiration for his clothing brand hehe ( the 17° rules leo & fame )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Aries Rising 2° SR - when i had this i felt like i was really impulsive i did lots of things without thinking twice. i had my chart ruler in the 5h that year so it might be different if you end up having your asc ruler somewhere else in your sr chart, but for me i was impulsive when it came to switching different styles. i also started drinking and partying for the first time when i had a aries rising in my sr when it was placed in my 5h. aside from this, i was very determined on finishing goals i set my mind to and i was very consistent in trying to build a good foundation for myself. ( the 2° rules taurus & early stages )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Moon 7H 4° SR - most of my relationships that i had that year were lowkey codependent, the guys i talked to that year were very emotionally dependent and attached to me. they would usually call or message me out of nowhere to vent or open up to me which would be random asf lmaoo ( the 4° rules cancer & security/protection )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Mercury 3H 28° SR - I started talking to my siblings more and my relationship grew closer with them. I also started becoming more vunerable with my siblings. My relationship with my siblings were more nurturing compared to the past. ( the 28° rules cancer & heightened sensitivity/vulnerability )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Mars 5H 21° SR - I went out a lot more when i had this in my sr chart with my sisters friends who would randomly go out just for the fun of it 😭, like it was last minute most of the times but it was so fun tho! i got to do lots of things on the trips we went to! I was also more open to expressing my creativity like making clothes and putting it out there and such. ( the 21° rules saggitarius & travel/freedom )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Jupiter 1H 8° SR - I was more optimistic about life when I had this placement in my sr chart. I also felt like I was really lucky when it came to travelling more. places ive wanted to go to forever i ended up going to! things i wanted to experience i experienced! it was a good year for experiencing new things. ( the 8° rules scorpio & transformations )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Uranus 2H 21° SR - yeah i dont know where my money went that year 💀 money would come fast and then it would go even faster 😭 i saw my money as a source of freedom and thought of money so recklessly like, “oh these shoes are $300 but i just got fired? dont worry the money will come back *BOUGHT🧾*” so i didnt care much about saving or anything 😭 it came back though!! but then it went bye bye the next day😍 also for some weird reason whenever i took money out from daily pay which is a app where you can take money out early from your check when you work, whenever i took it out it ended up saying i had to pay back the amount i took out? like uhhh im pretty sure this was my money i took out 😂🤔… so now im -$200 but they gotta catch me in person cuz im not paying that 😹 ( the 21° degree rules saggitarius and freedom )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Pluto 11H 29° SR - i ended two 5+ year friendship that year, it was hard but it was a trio and i found out that the both of them would ditch me to go hangout and do substances and i feel like that didnt align with my path because you are who you hangout with!! i also saw my goals/path changing that year, I completely re-evaluated what i wanted to do 🙏. ( the 29° is a anaretic degree that rules major transformations/completion/endings )
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ Chiron 1H 19° SR - I was VERY critical on how others percieved me and my self image, i had multiple identity crises. I was super insecure the year I had this in my sr chart i cant even lie, despite so many people telling me how beautiful I was I just couldnt see it. 2 months before my birthday in 2024 i ended up understanding who i was and finding out what I LIKE and not what other people expected of me. im not facing multiple identity crises anymore which i thank my nn in my 1h from that year 🙏. ( 19° rules libra & can make a person more erratic and critical )
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 1H SR in 5H SR - I was more open to showcasing my creative talents, designing clothes, starting lots of creative projects. I was also having sooo much fun that year i miss it so much but lemme stop reminiscing 💔 I was also more flirty and playful that year leading me to have a few romantic encounters this year. Lots of creativity, fun, and sexual encounters happened that year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 2H SR in 5H SR - I spent most of my money on clothes and on creative projects just things that made me happy!!!! I was also recieving money from a lot of guys who wanted sexual things from me but they got #finessed and i didnt care because who do you think i am???????
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 3H SR in 3H SR - when i had this i started getting into astrology more, i was also reading a lot more aswell. I was really curious and i needed lots of mental stimulation from something that was neverending and astrology just so happened to be it 😹. I was also making tons of short trips that year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 4H SR in 7H SR - my family life was lowkey stopping me from getting into any relationships, i came to the realization i wouldnt be able to get into any relationships while living with my parents because of how controlling they can be. Also my sister got into a new relationship that sr year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 5H SR in 7H SR - I started talking to a creative designer the year I had my 5h in my 7h. I was also getting involved with creative partnerships aswell, promoting eye contacts/lashes/having my face used for someones brand. I also attended more parties and was going out more so i found most of my relationship encounters were through that.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 6H SR in 4H SR - i changed my diet when i had this in my sr. I also didnt know how to balance my work life and home life so it clashed terribly and i got fired😭. I was also going out more with my sister so my routines have changed from never going out at all to going out every week.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 7H SR in 5H SR - I met lots of new friends and different social circles through fun plans like partying, girls trips etc.. I also had lots of fun romantic encounters when i had this in my sr whether i met them when i was drunk or at parties it was lots of fun lol. There was so much childlike joy when it came to my relationships that sr year.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 8H SR in 5H SR - i lost my virginity the year i had this in my sr😶 but besides that my relationships in that sr year really shaped my understanding of love and myself. i was also recieving money from relationships i felt like a sugar baby🙈
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 9H SR in 1H SR - BABY I WAS OUTSIDEEE😭😩 okay besides that, that sr year when i had this i experienced a lot of new things that helped me discover who i was on the inside 😊. I was focused on self growth especially that year!
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 10H SR in 12H SR - I thought a lot about what I wanted to do career wise and how it would align with my goals and my purpose . I had this in my sr when I got fired 😭 and i realized I would prefer being my own boss when it came to my work life
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 11H SR in 12H SR - I unfriended my closest friends after re-evaluating our friendships that year. I also found out shady shit about them and I didn’t like that which led me to unfriending them
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 12H SR in 2H SR - i was manifesting money a lot the year i had this and im not even gonna lie it was coming!! so if you have this in your sr this year, manifest that moola$$$!!!!! i was also receiving money behind the scenes from other people the year i had this in my sr chart .
if my sr chart for that solar return year was a song it would be definitely be this song 🥲 #willforevercherishthatyear
dont forget to check out my other personal sr observations if you enjoyed this one :) !
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novaeverse · 4 months ago
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Saved and Unsaved By A Mad Love
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Song Lyrics: “Be Nice To Me” by The Front Bottoms
Okay so. Hehe.
This drawing took me so long, and MAN was it a journey. I don’t normally do these “monochromatic” drawings. But it was a lot of fun.
(Except for Astarion’s arm. That was hell to do and I don’t think I’ll ever be fully happy with it but ITS FINE)
This is for the lovely @kawareo !! If you haven’t check it out yet, he’s got this fantastic bg3 campaign fanfic on ao3 called Godsbound (will link later when ao3 is up). I really hope you like this one Ramsay! I know it’s different from the first fanart, but >_< I’m rly happy with it <33
Ramblings about some details:
Strike is digging his nails into Astarion and Astarion is pulling harshly on Strike’s hair. But they’re smiling about it in a bittersweet way. They care for each other, and they will hurt each other because of it. Forever will they be intertwined, stuck in a painful embrace.
Astarion is the only one in the light because he’s the only one who remembers their shared past. And he will continue to block it from Strike until the shadows creep back, and Strike can see.
It’s colorless because I like being dramatic >:)
I’ve never really done drawings with a whole lot of meaning behind it, but I tried with this one! I’m not a writer LMAO
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wasteddmoondust · 1 year ago
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an old diary || remus lupin
pairing: remus lupin x reader 812 words, fluff, remus finds your old diary from this request! a/n: i twisted the request just a teeny bit away from what you might have been expecting. but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! this was so fun to write and the scenario is just too cute hehe
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"Hey, Remus?" He hears your voice call from the library . "When you're free, do you think you can help me organise the storage room? There's a load of books from years ago that I need sorted."
Remus doesn't even hesitate on his answer, he knows he'll do anything for you. The both of you have stuck close since your school days, and took care of each other through the war. He feels forever indebted to you especially for that.
And that's how he finds himself in said storage room, the musty smell of yellowing paper wafting around him.
He scans the stacks of books. There's not many, compared to the rest of the library at least. This should just take the afternoon.
He starts to sort each stack, slowly making a system in his brain on how to tackle this task. But as he's on this third pile. a glimmer catches his eye, and he turns towards the direction of it. Underneath a pile, something familiar is sticking out, but he just can't put his finger on it.
He decides to abandon whatever task he was supposed to do and reaches for the book. Carefully, he slides it out of the stack.
The name on the book knocks his breath.
Y/N L/N, 1977.
That's what is was, your old diary from seventh year.
Remus finds himself frozen. That year was wild, to say the least. The bittersweetness of his final year, relishing of how much youth him and his had left. But mostly, it was the prelude to most of the pain he would experience in his life. This book is holding whatever you were feeling in those days.
He knows he shouldn't peek.
He flips the book open to a random page.
15 September, 1977 Today we went out to the lake, and I realised no words can describe the amount of love I have for my friends. To my dearest girls, Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Alice. I hope we are never too far apart. We shall grow old together gossip even as we do now.
Remus' heart swells at the sentiment, knowing each of the mentioned girls' fates. He flips to other pages, which mostly are written about the daily life of a Hogwarts student. However, a glimpse of his own name gets his attention. He stops to read the page.
25 January, 1978 Remus Lupin. Oh the man that you are. You and your stupid jumpers and stupid books and stupid tea you take with milk and two sugars. What I find the most stupid is the way you treat me. It makes me question who I am to you. Your friend? Maybe more? I can only dream. I don't think you'll ever see me that way. I'm perfectly happy where we are as friends. But somehow if I get even the slightest chance I will be taking it. Even if it comes ten years from now.
He's stunned, to say the least. He never knew you harboured these feelings back then, and wonders if you still had them now.
It's funnier especially when after all this time he never found a way to say he has those feelings too.
He knows what he should do. There's a newfound feeling of courage and bravery in him, and quickly finishes his tasks before you leave the library for the day.
"Oh, done already?" you ask, packing your work bag before leaving. "That was quick. Did you have much trouble?"
"No, not at all. Found some pretty good things in there," he says, trying to act casual. He hides the diary behind his back.
"Really? Do tell."
He pulls out the book from behind. You gasp.
"No way!" You grab it from his hold. "That was in there the entire time?"
"Mhm, I took a peak, if you don't mind," He says.
You furrow your brows. "You did?"
He nods slowly.
"And what did you read...?" you ask. He knows that you know what was written in that diary.
He shrugs. "Let's just say..." he looks around avoiding eye contact. "You said ten years, and it's been fifteen. So would you still?"
You frown, but you know exactly what he's talking about. "Still what?"
"Take the chance?"
You groan and cover your face, feeling your cheeks heat up. You hear Remus chuckle. "So is that a yes?"
Your hands leave your face, showing a pout. "I can't believe you read that!" you swat him playfully. "But yes... I would..."
"Brilliant," he says, smoothing your hair down and smiling at you.
"Now what?" you ask. You mentally kick yourself for asking such a question.
Remus grins, the same grin you've grown to love over the years. "I'd like to kiss you now, if it's alright with you."
The both of you lean in. In the library after fifteen years, he's finally yours.
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fatuismooches · 1 year ago
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a lesson in sadness.
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Today was another day of your peaceful, average but happy life with the puppet known as Kabukimono. Nothing seemed different about today. The blue sky appeared endless, stretching on forever with misty cotton clouds hovering above. Villagers and miners were already awake, slowly turning the sleepy village alive again. It seemed like it would be a good, normal day. And a good, normal day was deserving of a nice walk to take in the scenery. 
Kabukimono, Niwa, Katsuragi, and you sometimes went on strolls outside the village, and today was one such day. Even though it was a group of you, you tended to stick to two pairs - Kabukimono and you, and Niwa and Katsuragi. The two older men had cheesily nudged you with their elbows, winking and motioning for you to join your lover. They’d let the two lovebirds have some alone time as they walked behind, they said, remarking about how precious young love was. You were going to kick them later for sure.
But you welcomed the time you got with Kabukimono. Lately, you had been encouraging him to be around the other villagers without you. You figured he needed more interaction with other people. You could only teach him so much. Some things in life could only be learned through experience. But it seemed like he preferred to hang out with the kiddos anyway.
“And they taught me lots of cool games! Hide and seek, temari, duck duck goose… tag, too!” The thought of Kabukimono trying to keep up with the hyperactive children was amusing.
“Tag? I can’t imagine how fast you had to run,” you giggled and Kabukimono brightened.
“Really fast, actually! I have a lot of stamina, see!” With that he took off in front of you, taking you by surprise for a second, but you excitedly raced after him. Now, you weren’t much of a runner, but something about doing this with him made you feel like the weight of all your worries had been lifted. The sounds of laughter filled the air.
“Hah- K-Kabukimono! Wait u-up!” Your sprint had come to a halting stop, hands on your knees as you caught your breath. It shouldn’t be a surprise that the Almighty Shogun’s puppet was so agile, but this was on another level. Then again, you thought a puppet would be emotionless, but Kabukimono was far from that.
Thankfully he stopped to rub your back comfortingly like the good boy he was. “Hehe, sorry [Name]. I guess I got a bit carried away there. But you should really join us! We always have a lot of fun!”
You smiled at him through your pants, standing up straight. “Well, when you put it like that, I simply can’t refuse. But I think you’ll have to do most of the running. I’ll just be… backup.” Both of you giggled and you caressed his cheek, while he looked into your eyes deeply. Slowly, you both began to lean in, ready to lock lips when-
Snap.
The sudden noise was enough to make you jump and pull away from Kabukimono, eyes searching your surroundings. Uneasiness settled in your stomach, and you then felt him tighten his hold on your sleeve. Turning your head back, you could see why.
A group of Kairagi and Nobushi appeared in front of you.
The uneasiness had crept up and turned to agitation. You two weren’t even that far from the village, yet somehow they were this close. Usually, they knew their place. Perhaps things had gotten bad for them lately.
“Well well well, what do we have here? Two lost little lambs?” They all had mean, wicked smiles on their face, some blades drawn already. You had a feeling that this good, normal day would turn out to be something far different.
The dishonored samurai had a tendency to attack anyone regardless, but you knew they were particularly interested this time. Kabukimono’s clothing was very expensive. And they liked to rob.
Kabukimono, on the other hand, hadn’t much experience with people outside of the tight-knit village, but he could easily tell that these men gave off a much different vibe than what he was accustomed to. And your face had an emotion that you rarely ever displayed. Fright. Nervousness. The same face he made when he was abandoned in Shakkei Pavilion.
“Kabukimono,” you whispered breathlessly, “We have to run. Now.” You didn’t like how your own fear was beginning to infect him, but there was no helping it. 
Your hand slid down to firmly grasp the puppet’s. Niwa and Katsuragi shouldn’t be that far behind, but you should get some distance away from the bandits before you yell for help. They could hurt you if you tried anything like that. Carefully, you took a few steps back, tugging on Kabukimono’s hand.
“Come on, we need to-” You had begun to turn around to run when a large shadow suddenly loomed over you. You recognized the tattered clothing instantly as another Nobushi, and before you could even look up to gaze at your attacker’s face-
A warm liquid splattered on Kabukimono’s face. 
He was rendered horrifically speechless as you staggered back, your hand gingerly touching your shoulder, which now had a large cut. Your grip on his hand began to weaken, eyes widening in surprise and then shutting just as quickly until you fell to the ground. Almost robotically, he stared at your crumpled form, blood soaking into your shirt now. When his eyes shifted to your pained face, Kabukimono snapped out of his terrified daze and dropped down to his knees to your body.
The Nobushi paid no mind to the scene, instead shaking the blade to clean your blood off of it. But Kabukimono was too caught up with your nearly still body lying in his trembling arms, unable to properly process what just happened.
Kabukimono had never seen so much blood in his life. He didn’t even know humans could bleed this much. What should he do? Puppets did not bleed the same way humans did. You never taught him about this. One hand was placed on your back, and the other was pressed to the cut on your bare shoulder, but quickly he realized how much of the fluid stained his pale hand, running down from his palm to his arm and dripping onto his white clothes.
He was sick to his stomach. 
He wanted to move, to scream, to call for help, but the sight of the redness gushing from you onto his hand made bile rise in his throat. Your blood was on his hands, literally and figuratively. The puppet was paralyzed. Not even the clash of blades could draw him away, or the yelling that was close by but seemed distant. Even the shaking of his shoulders could not draw him away from your bloodied face, barely registering the extra pairs of hands that occupied your body.
“Kabukimono!” A seemingly distant voice ran in his ears. “Kabukimono!” Niwa had torn a piece of his shirt off and wrapped it around your wound.
“Kabukimono! [Name] NEEDS YOU!” Niwa screamed your name, the sheer emotion and urgency in his voice finally making him snap out of his traumatized trance.  “Go! Now! Bring the town doctor!”
You need him, Kabukimono thought. That’s right. You need him. You needed to live. With that, he stumbled to his feet, and ran, ran, ran. Ran despite his blurry vision from tears, and the ache in his knees from tripping. For you.
It had been a few days since the incident, and you had not woken up yet. The puppet had remained by your side throughout. His eyes trained on you the whole time.
Kabukimono wondered what you dreamed of. He hoped it was sweet dreams. He hoped you weren’t suffering in the land of dreams at least. Meanwhile, he was being racked with his own tortuous thoughts, unable to even entertain the thought of sleeping when you were laid like this in front of him.
Useless. Weak. Powerless.
That was what Kabukimono thought of himself as. Sure, he was discarded by his creator for his lack of utility, but even still, he should have been able to do something. He could have punched, kicked, or anything. He was stronger than you, but he could not do anything to protect you. You’ve taught him so much, and he felt like he had not repaid even a fraction of it. Instead, the only thing he could think about was how it should have been him. Then he would have been of some use to you at least.
He turned his attention back to you. As always you managed to look so pretty, even when you were sleeping. If you opened your eyes, you’d look even more pretty, he thought. For a second he wondered if praying to Inazuma’s Archon would help. He had a… complicated relationship with her, but the other villagers always said-
Luckily it didn’t need to come to that, for somehow you answered his unspoken wish, eyes barely fluttering open and then squeezing shut again at the light. Something in his chest beat ferociously as he leaped up from his seat.
“[Name]? [Name]! Oh, you’re awake!” He cried out in joy and almost threw his arms around you, but stopped himself since you were injured. Tears began to well up in his eyes.
“Ngh… ugh, K-Kabukimono?” Your head pounded a bit and you squinted at the person in front of you. A hand was gently stroking your hair.
“Yes, it’s me, [Name]. It’s Kabukimono. I’m right here,” he did his best to keep his voice calm for you. After a few minutes, you had come to your senses, the ache on your shoulder a reminder of the events that you were starting to remember again.
“Oh… ah, Kabukimono. Hey love,” you whispered, trying to work up a small smile to ease his teary eyes. His hands moved to softly grip your one.
“[Name]... I was so worried. You were asleep for days, I was so, so scared. I didn’t know what to do…” He trailed off, voice threatening to break into hiccups. You were asleep for days? No wonder Kabukimono was looking a little worse for wear. He pressed your hand against his cheek, and you softly cupped it in return.
“Hey… don’t cry. I’m fine now, see?” He sniffed and looked at you with big, blearily eyes, nodding his head as he continued to relish your awakened presence. He updated you on what else happened, how your two friends defeated the bad men, and how everyone was so worried for you. How relieved he was when he found out you would be okay. 
But it was obvious he was terribly bothered by the whole situation. The young puppet had experienced loss before, but it was in no way similar to the feeling he felt when you were bleeding out in his arms. It was immensely jarring, and he’d never felt so ill before.
“I just don’t understand,” he murmured softly. “Why would anyone want to hurt you? You’re so kind, beautiful, amazing…” The puppet trailed off with downcast, clouded eyes. You sucked in a breath, totally unsure of what to say.
You were not sure how to word this to the young, still learning puppet. How do you even go about explaining that there are some people out there who want to hurt you, in any way possible? Sometimes for a reason but also no reason at all? That some people were just rotten?
“Well,” you began, hoping the words would come to you, but nothing did. You continued on ineloquently, “Some people are just wicked. Evil. They don’t care about what happens to others.”
“But why?” He pressed on. Why, indeed. That was the question everyone asked themselves.
“I don’t know why. I wish I could tell you. But the only thing we can do is continue to spread goodness and happiness instead.” Kabukimono still seemed stumped and confused by your answer, but let the conversation drop, instead choosing to move it back to you.
“Do you need anything? Is the pain unbearable? The doctor should be here should. Actually, you’re probably really hungry, aren’t you? Should I-” Kabukimono worriedly rambled on until you pressed your fingers to his lip, effectively shutting him up.
“Of course it hurts,” you stated honestly, “but it doesn’t hurt as much as it did before. I will be fine,” you reassured him. “Though something to eat would be nice.”
Your partner dutifully nodded, as if he was given a mission that decided the fate of the world. “I will get you something right now! And tell everyone else you’ve awoken!” Kabukimono left the room, and you were alone for a bit, but not for long, as the familiar brown-haired man popped in right after. 
“Ah, Niwa…”
“Hey [Name],” he ruffled your hair affectionately. “How are you feeling?”
You shrugged your shoulders, unsure of what even to say. “I’m fine, but…”
“Looks like something is hurting you more than that cut of yours,” he looked at you with pity.
“I just, I don’t know how to console or help him.”
“It might be difficult for one without a heart to understand. Though you have taught him matters related to love and life, the flip side is…” Your dear friend trailed off.
“Kabukimono does have a heart. It may not be physical, but he is far more kind than some of the actual heartless humans I’ve met in this world,” you whispered softly, fluttering your eyes shut. “But, how do I explain death and hatred and all the ugly things in this world without breaking his heart…? I want him to learn, but I fear it may hurt him too much.” Niwa didn’t reply but looked at you with understanding, rubbing your arm soothingly.
“You know, he hadn’t moved the whole time since you were sleeping. No matter how much we pleaded with him, he just refused to leave your side. Didn’t eat, sleep, or even move an inch from that position. So… no matter what happens, I think the two of you will be fine. I’ll leave you before Kabukimono comes back.” With that, Niwa left your room, leaving you to your thoughts.
You stared at the ceiling, feeling empty, not just from the ache in your injured shoulder, but the one coming from your heart. You wondered what would happen when you actually died. Passed on from this world leaving Kabukimono by himself. What would he do? Would he accept it? Move on after overcoming the grief?
“[Name]? Here, I got your favorite,” your lover’s voice rang throughout the room as he came in with a neatly set tray of soup. “The doctor says you need to eat light things to get your appetite back.”
You watched as he diligently dipped the spoon into the bowl and then brought it to your lips. You obediently swallowed the liquid. It was yummy. He continued the process without faltering, like this was the one thing he must do expertly.
Well, you could put thoughts like those away. It wasn’t necessary right now. You weren’t planning on dying anytime soon, not while he needed you so much.
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lesson 1. lesson 2. lesson 3. lesson 4. lesson 5. lesson 6. lesson 7. lesson 8. lesson 9. lesson 10. bonus lesson.
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yayll · 1 month ago
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hai !! i am wondering if i can request something about foxzai w foxreader.. i dont mind any scenario i just want something about them in love hehe.. especially since they r both foxes:3
hiiiiii baby! i'm SO sorry this took quite a while, i was away for a bit on vacation and have just been trying to catch up on requests. for this specific one i didn't kno if you wanted them to be full on foxes or like fox hybrid ish so i went with the kitsune approach who can be both! i hope you like my interpretation and i'm srry if it's not proper but i had a lot of fun working on it for you and seeing these two in love hehe <3 love u
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The winter can be harsh on the wild, this you already know. But the warmth that does remain doesn't come from the security in survival, It comes from knowing that if you make it through the season or should you perish during it you will always be under the watchful gaze of the one you love.
It's a brisk morning and in your snow lined fox den it's business as usual. There's no hibernation, only you and your silly little partner as you spend everyday together. He's a bit off, a bit goofy, but so are you for letting him live with you ever since that day he limped into your den! You nursed him back to health as best you could and he hasn't left you ever since, not that you'd ever want him to. Dazai's also lazy, selfish, and unintentionally hilarious during the most inappropriate times so you need to be careful when trying to understand his more 'dramatic' moments and-
Oh, yeah. food! Sooo hungry. You pad your way towards the soft spot you both share where he sleeps soundly, curled up in his kimono, his nine tails tightly wrapped around him. You think his bandages must keep him extra warm too, what a package deal. Oh how pretty he looks like that... You kneel and nudge him awake with a soft whisper.
"Hi... it's time to eat."
His pointy ears perk up and he pops one eye open as he scans you first thing.
"You brought food already? Woooowww... How gracious of you, cutie~"
You snicker quietly to yourself, and shake your head.
"No, we're going together. You need to start earning your meals."
"Pfft. I'd never make you earn your meals, you know."
You make another sound of sheer entertainment at his cute whining, and nudge him again, this time carding your fingers through his messy brown hair, and caressing those soft ears that twitch with every word you say. He could stay like this forever, he thinks. With your approval, hopefully he will.
"Is that so? I dunno... I'd say every time I head out into town to find your specialty canned crab it's quite a quest for me. Or when I trick those humans into giving me more tofu than usual for our stews I really do wonder if you ever stop to think if that's a harder than usual task for me-"
Your words are cut off by a swift and fluffy tail that clamps over your mouth. You stay quiet, a wide smile playing on your lips as you watch Dazai become animated in a second.
"...Okay, okay! Fine. I'll go... And of course, you'll do the cooking."
"I always do the cooking, Osamu."
"Yes, and thank god for that, because I love doing the eating~"
You quirk an eyebrow as you fold your arms across your chest and hum. He's so cute when he's being high maintenance. Despite you both being kitsune, he had you wondering if you were slowly becoming his human caretaker... Not that you would ever mind, that is.
"Mm, that you do..."
Dazai then stretches himself, his body becoming long as he holds the pose with his back arched, his ears flipping back as his tails fluff up, signaling he's fully awake now. He turns to you, those cunning narrowed eyes now slightly half lidded and tender. His voice is low and hoarse.
"But you know what? I also love other things..."
You tilt your head a bit as he stands to his full height, walking towards you and scanning you head to toe with that never ending gaze that oozes with affection. He knows what's going on in that little head of yours, and you almost feel bashful from the way he grants you every bit of his senses. When he reaches you, he places a hand on the top of your head inbetween your soft ears, petting you with feather light taps. He towers over you, his figure now more imposing except without the threatening aura. There could never be threat when it's just you and Dazai, because behind his goofy and easygoing exterior, there is an undying commitment to you that goes beyond life and death. And thankfully, you both will live for a long, long time despite his pesky jokes about the opposite.
He leans forward and then down enough to whisper against the shell of your ear as if he were telling you a secret.
"I love... Curry... Rice... Crab... and-"
You interrupt by looking up at him, eyes twinkling with anticipation. You weren't desperate for his tender words, for he never withheld them from you. He couldn't hide how enamored he was with you even if he tried! There was just something about hearing him say it that made you feel like it was the first time every single time. He curls one of his tails around yours, gently braiding them together as they form a furry stem, locked in place like two hands intertwined. He grins, holding your chin as you two communicate in your own little language with your eyes.
Dazai thinks about how lucky he is to be yours, through thick and thin and the coldest of winter. From the way your lashes flutter every time you blink to how your nose crinkles in the cutest ways when you laugh, he doesn't know why you entertain his mischief. Maybe he's cursed you... Maybe it's a good curse if it means you'll continue to look at him the way you aways do. Either way, you'll both see the Spring come, together.
He brings his hand down to the tip of your nose, so elegant and beautiful, and taps it while whispering.
"You. I love you. So let's go to town, yes? I'm ready to work for my meal or whatever."
You bite your lip at his call back to your previous words, trying to stop the smile from literally getting any wider as you drop the bossy act and melt for him instead. And here you thought his charm was only reserved to fool humans! You nod and when you speak, it's barely above a whisper.
"I love you too."
He leans in so close that his nose touches yours, teasing your every sense.
"I know that, cutie. Duh."
He speaks with a low purr as if stating the obvious, causing you to roll your eyes at his adorable audacity. Only Dazai could get away with this, and only you could make him feel complete this way, no matter what form he takes.
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sorryimananti-romantic · 1 year ago
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Feeling Like I Do
neighbour!yunho x reader
best friends to lovers au
word count: 5k (bulletpoint headcanons this time)
genres: fluff, absolute fluff, a little crack, a little angst, some suggestive jokes thrown around, just wholesomeness and yuyu
synopsis: you and yunho have been best friends since forever and neighbours for a while, and you find it harder with each passing day to hide your feelings for him.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (this took way too long to finish considering the deep yunho brainrot we've been in)
special thanks to @hwaightme your guy.exe triggered this hehe
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being best friends with jeong yunho was not as simple as it sounded
especially when he was your neighbour
like, right next door. the very next apartment
so you couldn’t avoid him even if you wanted to
honestly, you brought this upon yourself, if you think about it
ever since you were kids, you had been inseparable
from going to the same school and bonding over a similar sense of humour 
from pranking the rest of your friends together to making fun of each other
to knowing each other’s deepest secrets
except for the one that really mattered- that you had the biggest, fattest crush on your best friend
honestly, you do not recall when exactly it happened
if you think back, you can’t pinpoint it to one moment
it is a number of moments, the years you spent together, the memories you shared that you are now a grown up and still hopelessly in love with him
though you would not admit it
never. ever. over your dead body.
you just have one fear that has stuck with you and it is that you do not want to ruin things between the two of you
he has known you since forever. he knows you inside out. 
he’s too precious to lose over something as stupid as your feelings
because if he does not feel the same, you will never be whole again
but if by some small chance he does and you mess things up later? you would never recover
this is why you think having feelings for your best friend is so messed up
and this is the reason you always dismiss his flirty actions as jokes between two best friends who are super comfortable with each other
like when he casually enters your unlocked apartment and asks for a pinch of salt and spots you in the ugliest fit you’re wearing
he will go “wow you look beautiful”
and you will make a face, knowing he is joking, and ignore the butterflies in your stomach
and you respond with “you don’t look too bad yourself” when he himself looks like he nests a squirrel in his hair
his casual touches and occasionally flirty gazes do not bother you anymore
you’re made of steel now
so when he hugs you out of nowhere or swings you around just to hear you squeal, you know it’s just what friends do
or when he finds you too adorable and kisses your temple, you let it pass. you don’t read too much into it
though occasionally, you like to blur the lines too. he might know at this point
like what friend runs to their other friend only to jump in their arms and bury their face in the crook of the other’s neck?
what sort of friend casually zones out while staring at the other and wonders what they did to deserve them?
you
perhaps, this was a teenage crush that would have quelled with time- but that was if you had parted ways for college
no
by some evil play of the fates, you two ended up in the same city, quite close to each other
and as soon as you two had enough savings, you both decided to be neighbours
you just didn’t have it in you to be apart from each other
and funny thing was, no one batted an eye. it was so natural
though they did question why you weren’t housemates 
you and yunho would always share a grin and respond with ‘to protect the last shred of privacy’
which was an inside joke now
so when you both started living together- because that’s exactly what it was
from going grocery shopping together
to knowing each other’s door locks 
dropping in stuff for the other without their permission
privacy? ha. what privacy?
sure, you almost once walked in on him showering
and he almost walked in on you changing your clothes (your fault you didn’t shut the door, right?)
but that wasn’t a big deal at all
you would slide notes under each other’s doors- cute reminders to take an umbrella or a good morning/good night
or an ugly doodle or a ‘u stink’
you did not collect all those notes in a jar. you did not
he once bought 10 rubber duckies and hid them around your apartment and you would find them in the most odd places
like inside a pot you rarely use
one was even in your underwear drawer
whenever you’d find one, you would take it with you whenever you went to yunho’s and hide it somewhere there
and so the eternal game of hide and seek began
you have never talked about it out loud by the way
the more memorable things were just making yourself at home at the other’s place when one of you did not feel like being alone
which was most of the time, if you were very honest with yourself
you would watch tv together while you had dinner and have a heated discussion about whatever you were watching
or you would play games with him
or he would help you pick out your fit for the night
or you would style his hair
or you two would stay up all night talking about stuff
about anything and everything
emptying out your hearts
yet still you would always have more to talk about
it was never a boring moment with yunho
and you could go on about why you loved him forever
every day, you woke up glad that he was so close to you and still with you
he was the only person who did not judge you
you could say something nasty and he would still try to understand your perspective
which just made him 100000x more precious
but he would call you out when you did or said something wrong/bad but in a very gentle manner 
which you appreciated so much
and the best thing was, he always stayed. he was always there
his arms were your eternal safe space
and he knew
it was like he knew the look in your eyes, whenever you needed a hug
and he would spread his arms and you would walk to him and wrap your arms around his waist while he embraced you 
and tell you that it would be okay, no matter what was going on
he would always offer to hear you out or simply be there, physically
he was just… so easy to be with
he was your personal ray of sunshine, your little fluffy cloud, yours
he was yours- oh, how you wished he could be yours in all the ways
because whenever he talked about someone he noticed with you
or just looked at someone different and then find you staring at him
he’s respond with “i just like their outfit” or “i think their hair is nice”
and you would wonder if it’s really just that
you two do have an unspoken promise to tell each other whenever you start dating someone or fall in love
but that’s mostly because you both know your dynamic would have to change a bit 
because you two wouldn’t be each other’s priority anymore- not like you are now anyway
and it hurts to just think about it
you asked him, “what would really change?”
and he responded with, “i would appreciate it if you do not connect your bluetooth to my speakers when i have someone over and play some unholy audio”
which turned into an argument because he has literally done the same to you and you had a friend over
you had to explain yourself and explain yunho and tell the traumatised friend that this was just him pulling a prank on you
but you responded with “you know what i will also appreciate if the person does not find a potato instead of a soap in the sink”
you two are always out for each other and after all these years… you two never know each other’s next move
but you both know your dynamics would change in more ways than that
you wouldn’t be able to stroll in his apartment so casually and make breakfast for the two of you because you ran out of ingredients
neither would he be able to come and take a shower in your apartment because “i ran out of hot water” or “i want to smell like strawberries today”
you wouldn’t be able to go and sleep on his couch or bed because you felt lonely
neither would he be able to do the same
and you both would have to tone down the physical affection because you two have heard enough about people mistaking you for a couple
honestly, sometimes you wonder if those people gaslit you into seeing him as something more
but… it was yunho. how could you not?
especially when he cared for you like no one else?
and maybe, maybe, just maybe
he thought of you like that sometimes too
it was probably wishful thinking but oh, how you wished he did anyway
because you couldn’t take it sometimes
you couldn’t take how he would zone out while listening to you talk and look absolutely adorable
you couldn’t take how when you’d hold hands while walking he’d caress them absently
and you couldn’t take how he’d play with your hands when you’d tell him about your day or some gossip
you couldn’t take it when he’d sneak up on you and wrap his arms around you in a back hug and make you feel so small and safe
or when he’d rest his head on yours as you hugged
you couldn’t take it when his gaze would linger on you a fraction of a second longer when you were too close
or when he would always search your eyes before he would plant a chaste kiss on your cheek or forehead
you really, really couldn’t take it anymore
perhaps you needed therapy now
you couldn’t afford slipping in front of yunho tho
or anyone of your mutual friends for that matter
because you knew if someone found out they would somehow let yunho know
and you weren’t ready for his answer
what if he distanced himself from you if he ever found out? you couldn’t have that
perhaps you should have physically distanced yourself from him
perhaps being neighbours made it worse
tho, could you call it worse when it was literally a blessing to have him so close to you?
you’re starting to question it tho
bc one night when you were out drinking late with your friends
you came back to your apartment complex, feeling so low
and when you were about to cross yunho’s door to get to your own, you paused
you paused and stood outside his door for the longest time
and then you sank down and rested your back against his door
wishing he wouldn’t find you
you just needed to cry a little and lighten the weight on your heart
except, another evil play of fates and yunho somehow just knew to look for you
he almost opened his door but heard the faint sound of your cries
at first he thought it was a lost kitten or something but then he opened his door a fraction and found your figure on the floor
and his heart broke
“y/n? can you please move a little so i can open the door?”
you froze
until he called your name again and you wished you could dig the ground and bury yourself under it
but you moved and not a few seconds later, he was next to you and rubbing your back
“what’s wrong?”
“nothing,” you replied
except there was a lot
you just couldn’t tell him
just like the various times he found you crying alone and no matter how much he insisted, you wouldn’t tell him
he wondered who hurt you sometimes
he wondered who it was so he could punch that person or do anything, something, to make it all right
because he hated it so much when you cried
it made his chest feel tight and he’d always get confused about what he was feeling
a number of things is what it was- anger, longing, pain, confusion
but this time? he wasn’t going to let you go
because just how long had you been crying like this? why didn’t you just come inside? why didn’t you find him?
he asked you that
you couldn’t reply yet again
so he decided to bring you inside
he made you drink some water
he wiped your face with the sleeves of his black shirt
and you finally looked at him
oh goodness. he was wearing those black rimmed glasses again
the ones that made him look so, so good.
but he looked angry
“you’re going to tell me who made you cry. or else we’ll be sitting here just like this all night while i wait for your answer”
you bit your lips, looking away and cursing yourself internally
you should have cried in the shower or something
“can i rest? my head is spinning- i might have drank too much-”
“no.”
you locked eyes with him and he didn’t look away
“do you have any idea how much it hurts me to see you like this? and how much it hurts me that you stayed outside? why didn’t you come to me?”
you looked away again, wiping the fresh stream of tears
it was getting harder now, to not give in. to not answer his questions and put an end to this once and for all
especially with yunho so close to you and caressing your bare knees that you put between the two of you
“tell me”
“i can’t”
“why not?”
“because…” you sighed deeply. you looked at him
if you weren’t drunk, every cell in your brain would have screamed at you to shut up
but because you were, it was now your heart tugging that did it for you
“don’t look at me like that, yunho.”
yunho only cocked his head, refusing to look at you any other way
you snaked your hands up your knees to meet his hands, locking your fingers
“you can’t distract me this time-”
yunho’s words got caught in his mouth when you started to lean forward and he drew back reflexively, looking at you questioningly
but you weren’t going to stop
he wanted answers? he would have them
so you continued to lean forward until you were on your knees and almost in his lap
you looked down at him, meeting his very confused eyes
“do you ever think about why i don’t come to you at these times? do you really not know the answer?”
you watched his ears flush
he knew
he must know
he must have a hint, at least, of what you felt for him
“is it really me?” he whispered
you didn’t answer this time
you couldn’t
you simply dropped down with a sigh and pulled your hands from his
he was so confused- he had no way to navigate through this without your help
but you were drunk right now
he decided you should at least be sober when you talk
and perhaps, you decided that too
so you resorted to climbing in his lap and holding him in a hug
he didn’t waste any time wrapping his arms around you
and planting a kiss on your head
just like he had done a thousand times now
“i’m sorry for making you worried,” you mumbled, burying your face in his sweatshirt, hearing his heartbeat
“i’m sorry for sounding angry- i didn’t mean to.”
“i know,” you assured him. “can i sleep here?”
“of course-”
“right here?”
yunho wished you would say such things with a warning because his heart dropped dangerously and he couldn’t help but let out a flustered laugh
“am i that comfortable?”
“you’re literally my human pillow”
and just like that, you were both back to normal
but yunho made sure not to let you forget about this
in the morning when you woke up before him and noticed him sleeping in a painful position to accommodate you on the couch
you watched him for the longest time
and snuck out to go back to your apartment and really panic this time
because boi, did you mess up this time
and it was the weekend. yunho would be up and asking questions in no time
you had nowhere to hide
perhaps, you should stop hiding now
the doorbell rang and for a moment you wondered if it was someone else
but when you opened the door to yunho with a bowl of soup in his hands, you knew he rang the doorbell for a reason
he would be asking you questions today
so you let him in, wondering how he would initiate the conversation
“i bet you have the worst headache now,” he goes, grinning like everything is normal
you didn’t realise he was being normal so you would lower your defences while you ate and chatted like normal
until he finally asked, “are we going to talk about what happened last night?”
“what happened last night?” you ask back
it was perhaps the wrong thing to say
because you see yunho’s gaze darken
you immediately sigh to let him know that yes, you know exactly what he is talking about
you did not like to see him angry so you decided to face what was next
but… anxiety started to creep in your chest as you looked at him, waiting for him to say something
“can you please tell me why you were crying last night? why did you not come and find me?”
you sigh deeply again, pursing your lips as you look at him
because you could feel it
this was it
it would never be the same again
you spend a few minutes staring at him, opening your mouth to say something but stopping, and then looking away and recalling exactly where you fucked up
and he’s so patient. he keeps waiting
he’s not even fiddling with anything right now. he’s just… there and watching you and waiting
you finally lock eyes with him and say, “have you ever wanted something so bad that in order to gain it, you risk losing it completely?”
yunho thinks it’s really cryptic, what you just asked him
because… yes, he’s wanted something that bad too
he didn’t realise it until the first summer he did not spend with you a few years ago
and he felt so lost until he saw you and everything started to make sense
and everything has made sense since
he’s wanted to make you smile every moment you spend with him
he’s wanted to embrace you eternally every moment you find home in his arms
he’s wanted to make you laugh because of all the sounds in this world, your laugh was his favourite 
even tho it sounded like windshield wipers
he’s wanted you so, so bad
but how could he ever admit it
suddenly, he understand you
and he finds himself nodding slowly, his heart beating with an urgency indicating the arrival of a change
it could make or break you both
so he says, “yes… yes i know exactly how that feels”
you both watch each other for a few moments, afraid to take the next step
but yunho won’t give in now- he doesn’t want to see you cry like that ever again
“is that why you were upset? you’ve been mulling over something like this?”
you’re hesitant but you nod
so he leans forward as if to hold your hands from across the table but he stops himself
and asks, “why have you been so afraid to tell me this?”
it’s silent. very silent
only the sounds of your breath in the room
and the sound of your heart in your ears
with a gulp, you manage to say, “because… because i’m afraid of being selfish and losing you in the process.”
for a few seconds, yunho is frowning in confusion as he tries to make sense of what you said
and you see exactly when realisation hits him
when his features relax and his gaze clears and his mouth parts as he look at you
you don’t look away. you’re waiting for him to say something, to respond, to hurt you with what he’ll say next, anything
but he looks away and lets out a flustered laugh and you can’t help but let out your own nervous laugh as well
you watch his ears flush and his lips curl downwards as he stifles a smile
and you finally cry out, “say something, you idiot.”
yunho puts a hand over his mouth as he stares at you
and suddenly, you feel hot all over. the embarrassment is catching up to you
“are you telling me, y/n, that you like me? that you… actually want me?”
you blush furiously and you’re almost sweating now but you manage to nod
and yunho is laughing in disbelief again and you’ve had enough
you get up, muttering about getting a drink but yunho is quick to catch your wrist and pull you towards him
and you’re suddenly too close
he’s searching your eyes
“you want me?”
you give him a pleading look and he understands
he brings an almost trembling hand to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear first
“i need you to say it, y/n. because i-”
“yes,” you nod, “yes, i want you. is it too much to ask for? have i ruined things?”
yunho shakes his head and lets go of your wrist only to cup your face and you try to decipher the look in his eyes
it is not the first time he has looked at you this way but this time it’s a bit different
“do you have any idea how much i’ve wanted you since forever?”
you think you’re hearing things
because there is no way
there is absolutely no way
that jeong yunho- your best friend- wants you
“you’re not joking, are you?” is your response and yunho laughs a bit before he leans in, watching your breath get caught in your throat when he gazes at you
and then his gaze is stuck on your lips and he’s waiting 
and now your hands are moving out of their own accord, snaking up to his chest to fist his black sweatshirt
his nose brushing against yours undoes something in you
“yunho, please,” you manage to whisper
and then he finally pecks your lips
it’s cautious, it’s soft, and it’s nothing like you imagined it to be because you’re feeling a number of things
he scans your face briefly before he pecks your lips again, this time longer
and then he does it again and you’re finally moving your hands and tilting your face up so he can properly kiss you
and there’s no need for words anymore
the unspoken actions are enough
you open your mouth and he dives right in, kissing you eagerly
your knees were already weak so you struggle to stay upright but he’s quick to catch you
his arms are holding you to him and you’re the one cupping his face now as you kiss
it is years of longing and love poured into this kiss and none of you want to stop
but you eventually break apart for breath and then you realise exactly what position you both are in
and suddenly, you’re both laughing, too shy to look at each other and you hide your face in his chest
he’s caressing your back while you recover and when you look up, he’s got the most loving look in his eyes
“what took you so long to do that, y/n?” 
“i could ask the same,” you respond. “i could cry right now.”
yunho laughs, planting a kiss on your forehead. “well. how do you feel?”
you hug him, taking deep breaths
“i think we should really talk,” you laugh 
he steers you to the couch but he makes you sit in his lap so he can caress your face or play with your hair while you talk
and you can’t because he’s looking at you with the softest gaze ever
so you just ask him since when he started liking you- does he like you?
he tells you about how he, too, has been afraid to ruin things
and talks about how he thought you liked someone else
you ask him if he never got the hint
but you both know how wary you two have been, especially lately
never reading too much into things
perhaps one of you should have
“i’m sorry i made you suffer like that,” yunho finally says to let the weight off his shoulders. “i never realised you were hurting because of me.”
you tell him it’s not his fault and that if he did not like you back you would have been hurt, yes, but you would have dealt with it
except you are so lucky that he feels the same way about you
you can’t believe it, actually
you trace the curves of yunho’s face
it’s like you’re looking at each other for the first time now
“i’m yours,” he whispers when you finally look him in the eyes. “i’ve always been yours.”
you can’t help the tears now
they are tears of relief and sheer happiness
and yunho understands because he’s pretty sure he will cry soon too
he lets you pepper kisses on his face
and holds you when you hug him again
“good thing it’s the weekend, right? we can stay like this all day long.”
and you do
you have nothing you’d rather do
you stay in each other’s arms, talk about everything and anything, caress each other’s hands (mostly you bc you love his hands), makeout in between
and it’s so natural
nothing has changed- it’s just like before but better
you’re still joking around and teasing each other like before
he still passes a ‘ur ugly <3’ or a ‘what a mess’ note under your door
and you still respond with an explicit drawing
the suggestive jokes have levelled up tho
he always catches you off-guard with them and you either blush furiously or send something flying at him
a few things have changed tho
like when he finds you in the kitchen and gives you a back hug 
this time he’s quick to sneak in a kiss and maybe nibble at your neck
sometimes it turns into a heated makeout session
other times you ask him to stop so you can focus on cooking but he keeps distracting you until you’re running after him with a wooden ladle
and you two can’t stay away from each other now- you couldn’t anyway but this time it’s different
this time when you crawl in his bed at night time, he is quick to spoon you
and now he does not hesitate to find you in your apartment too, at night
earlier he used to keep a distance for the sake of you both- you realise how now
now he doesn’t sleep in the corner of the bed with the excuse that he likes it
he has to hold you while sleeping
and he has to mutter dirty little things to rile you up too
when your friends find out, they’re not surprised at all
they’re disappointed it took you two this long
they call you both dumb and dumber and perhaps, they’re right
but perhaps… this was the right time
there is a time for everything, you realise
and it took you and yunho years of being together to realise that yes
you are meant for each other and no one else :’) 
he’s your best friend, your other half, and your soulmate
he is yours <3
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