#this time it just took 3 years instead of 3 weeks or 3 months like before
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forgotten-daydreamer · 3 months ago
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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seaofreverie · 2 months ago
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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deeisace · 1 year ago
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aw damn it
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bilestat · 1 year ago
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the silent realms in skyward sword have no business being as nerve wracking as they are
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fantabulisticity · 2 years ago
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Just screamed so loud in my car that both my ears rang and a spider fell from the ceiling. My throat hurts.
#my pharmacy won't fill my meds AGAIN because some motherfucker decided to make a new policy that requires more instructions or something#i keep not getting my meds when I need them because every time i get a new script sent out (like one I haven't been on before) i hear...#...nothing back from the pharmacy; generally for days; and then when i call them (every 10 or 15 or 30 minutes for several hours) no...#...one picks up the goddamn phone and i have to make time to go in in person and ask the pharmacist when my meds will be ready.#and then they tell me 'oh yeah we HAVE the script from your doctor. we just need MORE INFORMATION and sent them an ELECTRONIC NOTE...#...(reminder that i live in fucking rural idaho so most people use a fucking phone and not 'an electronic note') and haven't heard back...#...from them yet so we're just waiting on that :)' and then i have to smile and thank them bc it isn't their fucking fault the policy is...#...some fucking bullshit and then i have to call my doctor on the phone (and can never reach them directly so i have to get a...#...receptionist to leave them a note that i HOPE they'll see in the next couple of days but sometimes they don't) and since i never have...#...an emergency it's often 2 or more weeks before anyone gets back to me. i usually have to call the pharmacy again. and then they don't...#...always answer and i usually have to go in and ask AGAIN why my meds aren't ready and they go 'oh we're still waiting on your doctor'...#...:) or 'they sent us a message back but it wasn't ENOUGH information and we sent them another ELECTRONIC NOTE that they won't see for...#...days or weeks so we recommend YOU call your doctor even though we're the ones flinging you around like a rag doll and you have 0...#...control over it. and by the way we're going to continue doing this for like a fucking year every time you get a new script. and when...#...your doctor asks you if the new meds are working you're going to have to say 'i have no fucking clue because it took 6 weeks to get...#...my goddamn prescription filled and it takes 3 months for the medication to show signs of working so my pharmacy wasted HALF of that...#...time sending electronic notes instead of filling my motherfucking prescription and i was supposed to be off these meds by summer...#...since they cause intense sunburn and shit and i have an OUTDOOR JOB NOW but my acne is still bad and hasn't gone away enough to stop...#...using the super intense stuff and my face hurts and swells and oozes and i have to wear a wide-brimmed hat and sunscreen EVERY time...#...i go outside because i can get a sunburn in 20 minutes now and i've been having heat rashes from the sun for the first time in my...#...LIFE and i have to fucking monitor myself every time i go outside and it's the warm season and i need a new pair of lighter work...#...pants but they don't sell above a size 18 for women even though men go up to like a size 45 which is like a size 24 or 26 in women's...#...and men's pants don't fit me bc i was blessed with the largest ass in the history of mankind' and i am so. fucking. tired.#of all the bullshit.#i feel miserable. my mom is buying me otc imodium bc i have NO IDEA when my prescription will come available. i just want the cramping...#...to stop. i've been having diarrhea all day every day since sunday. the cramps HURT and they keep me up at night. i haven't been...#...eating much bc there's so much shit moving around and hurting in my gut that i can't feel when i'm hungry and food doesn't soumd great.#so i'm weak and slow and tired and can't go to work and i'm using up all the sick days i was hoping to save up to visit my friend in...#...cyprus this winter. so that probably can't happen. but anyways. my mom came by while i was typing this out and i feel betterish.#personal
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deep-peach · 2 years ago
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staring at the postcard i drove 1.5 hours and spent $42 in tickets to buy, for my friend who couldn’t get one since the gift shop closed before we could stop by, and wondering why i bothered for someone who just ghosted me after three years of being my closest friend
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acorviart · 11 months ago
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everyone should attempt an artisan craft at some point in their life because it would cut down the number of comments questioning why handmade goods like ceramics or textile craft or woodworking are so expensive
and this is an unrealistic expectation, but I think the attempt should include seeing through to the end at least one "finished" item, no matter how clumsy or lumpy your first attempts might be. like to me, there's a huge difference in perspective between attempting to learn how to crochet or throw a pot for a few days, acknowledging that it's harder than it looks and giving up, versus committing to finishing that scarf or clay pot you started and working on it for weeks while you painstakingly learn from your mistakes and grow attached to your project while also simultaneously hating it.
once you finish the latter, your perspective changes from "why does this crocheted blanket cost $200" to "holy shit I can't believe they're charging $200 for this crocheted blanket instead of $2000" because you may have known crocheting is hard, you may have easily agreed with the idea that "handmade goods take time and effort" even before attempting a craft, but now you know firsthand the absolute time sink it takes to make things. like yeah dude, that one item took you 2 months to make and probably wasn't even an ultra complex item if it was the first thing you made, now imagine attaching an hourly wage to that time to calculate the cost (and this is ignoring every nuance of the artistic element and master crafters being able to work faster/charge higher because of their years and years of experience)
anyway this rant has been motivated by a comment I saw on someone else's ceramic post asking why a mug was $60 and they understand it's handmade but $60 just seems overpriced, and bro do you know how long ceramics take to make. that mug probably took at minimum 3 weeks between how long it takes to throw the mug, dry partially, trim the mug, dry fully, bisque fire, wait a day for the kiln to cool, sand and paint and glaze, glaze fire, wait a day for the kiln to cool, take product photography of the mug, write description and list the mug online for sale, im not even including the skill needed to complete all these steps without the mug literally exploding or collapsing while also making it an appealing piece of art, aaaaaaaaaaaaa
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malusokay · 2 months ago
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Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.
"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.
Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3
Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.
Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.
Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.
Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3
my insta: @ malusokay
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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snowball-doie · 2 months ago
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| pairing: dad!Jaehyun x fem!Reader
| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Poly!ilichil. Angst! Daddy kink. Unprotected vaginal sex. Creampie. Breeding kink. Cock warming themes. Pregnancy kink(?). Pregnancy. Emotional damage for Jaehyun stans.. <3
| wc: 4.7k
| aurora's note: ....you know..... i had this in the drafts of my poly!ilichil x oc book back in august.............. i feel like i unknowingly manifested this... sorry... um.. little bit of context you need is y/n and poly!ilichil already have a daughter together, her name is Reyna, and they all agreed to not know who her biological father is. i didn't want to change too much from my original story... sorry..
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You didn’t want to talk about it. Not for a single second. About two months ago, Jaehyun sat everyone down in the living room with the life and color drained from his face, his hands fidgeting with each other as he paced back and forth in front of the TV for a good two minutes before Doyoung begged him to stop and just say what was on his mind. Jaehyun immediately froze, turned, and spit out, “I auditioned for the military band a couple of weeks ago.” The room went still. “I got accepted today. I’ve decided to go early, in November, just to get it out of the way, so that Taeyong and I can come back together to look after Reyna, instead of all of us just going one at a time.” That didn’t make any sense— That made it worse! Everyone expected that it would be one at a time, making it easier to share the load of running such a big house while having a little one running around. How the hell was it helpful to have him leave early— Two years early, by the way. So you decided you didn’t want to hear it, so you got up to leave with the excuse of going to take care of the baby, while the others sat in silence, staring at Jaehyun with shock.
It took a few days before you could look at him again. He tried to talk to you about it, wanting to explain himself and the fact that he was going into the military band so that he would have ample opportunity to visit, probably with Taeyong too, just to cheer you up. But you didn’t want to hear it. There was a crying baby in your room, begging for her dad, and you wondered what you were going to do with him gone… Yeah, there were the others. Of course they would always help out. But Jaehyun had a special touch with your daughter that put her to sleep whenever she was fussy or made her giggle whenever she was scared after a silly nightmare. There were times when you couldn’t help her but he could. How could he leave her?
“Let me feed her so you can rest,” Jaehyun begged from outside the door one afternoon when he heard her crying because she was hungry and you were grumpy while bouncing her in your arms, trying to get her to calm down. You gave in. The door opened, and Jaehyun took your daughter in his arms with a smile and a happy coo that instantly cheered her up. “Hi, my sweet girl. Let’s get you something to eat so you can nap with your mom.”
While he left with the baby, you crashed in bed, finally able to take a nap for the first time in a few days. The other boys tried to help out and get you to rest, but you had locked yourself away ever since Jaehyun said he was leaving— You didn’t want their help, because who could you trust? Next thing you’d know, Doyoung would be surprising you with his early enlistment, too… And maybe Jungwoo would follow suit… You didn’t dare to dream that Hyuck would leave you, too, but the concern lingered in the back of your mind. Jaehyun had flipped your whole world upside down, and you hated him for it.
By the time you were able to look him in the eyes again, the boys returned to their schedules of taking turns looking after the baby, and Johnny was cooking meals for a silent household since everyone was walking on eggshells around you. They’d just gotten their daughter back, no one wanted to start another argument that would have you retreating into your bedroom again. But Jaehyun observed you closely. Physically, he was at a distance, but his eyes followed you, like he was expecting you to say something to him. And you did.
“Mark and Haechan won’t even be here to see you off.”
Everyone in the kitchen went to a standstill.
“Reyna and I can’t go either.” If people took pictures of you, a random lady, holding a baby at his enlistment ceremony, the internet would’ve burned to the ground with speculation that would’ve flushed down the drain years of hard work keeping your relationship a secret.
Doyoung shifted uncomfortably on his seat while switching Reyna to his left arm to cradle her as he ate his breakfast that Johnny made.
“You’ll miss so much… Her first steps… Maybe her first words too…”
Yuta put his clean plate in the sink for Jungwoo to wash. Johnny turned off the stove before taking his own plate filled with eggs and sausage to his seat at the table. However, no one else moved or spoke until you stood, your plate still untouched, and left to go to your room.
Another two days later, there was a knock at your door, followed by Jaehyun cautiously peeking in to see if you’d send him away after throwing a pillow or something more… damaging than that. To his surprise, when you didn’t object to his appearance, he entered completely, closing the door behind him before slowly sitting on the corner of your bed. Reyna was napping in Mark’s room because he was trying to make the most out of seeing her before he and Haechan had to go back on tour in Europe for a whole month.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, baby.”
You stared at him, hoping that if you didn’t move and kept your breathing steady that you wouldn’t fall apart and start crying.
“But I am going—”
You gulped, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
“—and I hope that you’ll support my decision in time.” He bit his lip and played with his hands anxiously. “I know I’m going to miss out on a lot with Reyna, and the rest of you too. It kills me that I might not be here for her first steps, or when she’s teething and keeping you all up every night, or when she says her first words… But I’d rather give up some of that than give up her first day at preschool where she makes her first real friends, or when she gets her first stupid playground crush on some stupid kid who doesn’t deserve her a single bit.” Both of you chuckled quietly. “I want her to know that I’m her dad. If I leave now, she won’t know, and by the time I come back, she’ll learn who I am and always know that I’m her dad, and that I’m never going anywhere ever again. That’s the choice I’ve made. To be remembered by her, and to experience other things with her, I have to give up some of the other stuff now—”
Jaehyun was caught off guard when you threw the covers off your body and immediately leaned forward, putting your weight on your knees, so that you could kiss him gently. It took him a few seconds to snap out of his trance and reciprocate your kiss. His hands caressed your cheeks, fingers tickling your earlobes, his lips and tongue fighting for dominance.
But then he pulled away for air. His gaze was lowered in shame as he whispered, “I don’t want to fight these next few weeks. Can we just… Can we try to have fun? Be normal?”
“I’d like that.”
With a sigh of relief, Jaehyun pulled you on top of him while he simultaneously shifted to sit more comfortably on the bed. He cradled you close to him, like he was afraid to ever let go. In return, you held onto him, fingers tangling in his hair, your forehead pressed against his temple, staring at his dimples that Reyna and Jungwoo liked to play with— Everyone joked that was the one thing she must’ve inherited from Jungwoo, her uncanny obsession with Jae’s dimples and smile lines. And so the two of you stayed like that for what could’ve been hours on end. Every so often, Jaehyun would shift slightly beneath you, kissing you, rubbing your back comfortingly, whispering words of praise and affirmation. When he asked if he could spend the night in your room with you and Reyna, you replied with a nod. Then when Mark returned with Reyna, you took her while Jaehyun laid with his back against the headboard of your bed, his legs spread wide enough for you to sit comfortably between them while your back was resting against his stomach, both of you staring down at your daughter, watching as she slept so soundly knowing that her dad was there.
As promised, you and Jaehyun acted like things were normal. You didn’t want to talk about him enlisting. He didn’t want to upset you. The rest of the house was terrified of setting you off again. So things went on like there wasn’t a doom’s day clock in the back of their minds, counting down the days until November 4th. Mark and Haechan seemed content with the decision to pretend like nothing was wrong because it made their quick stay at home between tours go easier, like how they went out to lunch with Jae almost every other day, and the three of them would play with Reyna in the living room whenever she had a lot of energy in the bouncer Hyuck bought for her.
The evenings were reserved for you and Jae. It started innocent at first, casually cuddling together and watching a TV show he’d been dying to cross off his list for a while. But then he asked you out on a date. Of course those weren’t uncommon in the house— But you going out in public with them was next to impossible, so it struck you as odd that Jaehyun would want to run the risk of a scandal so close to his enlistment… Then again, who were you to deny him? You wanted to savor every moment with him that you could, so against your better judgment, you said yes, letting him spoil you to an entire date night out and about.
During the drive home, Jaehyun’s hand was placed high on your thigh while he massaged it fairly roughly although it was mindless so you didn’t care to stop him. He was distracting you, though. While you tried to admire the city out your window while listening to some of his music, his fingers on the inside of your leg, his cold rings against your skin, his big palm threatening to slide under your dress… You wondered if he had other intentions. He seemed preoccupied with the road while humming along to the music, but his hands seemed to be in a different world from the rest of him.
When you pulled up to the house, Jaehyun ran around the car once it was off so that he could open your door before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt. With a wide grin plastered across his face, Jae took your hand and led you inside, switching to caress the small of your back possessively as you entered the living room to find the boys playing a Mario Kart tournament— Jungwoo, Mark, Haechan, and Johnny were playing  while Yuta bounced Reyna in his arms.
Despite Jaehyun’s obvious attempts to rush you up to his bedroom, Johnny paused the game when Mark stopped the two of you with an innocent question about how your date went. Jaehyun gave a quick, half-assed reply of, “Good,” before trying to corral you again; However, you stayed to tell them about everything the two of you did. He took you to a fancy restaurant that many celebrities took all their “hidden treasures” to because of the staff’s reliable secrecy, and the fact that all the patrons were there with someone they didn’t want to be spotted with, so no one was going to snitch. After dinner, Jae drove you two around Seoul for a bit, going up some of the mountains to the look outs before driving back down to look at the city that was buzzing with nightlife.
“It was lots of fun, yes,” Jaehyun admitted with an impatient smile. “Now, if you don’t mind, she and I are going to be busy for the rest of the night.”
Hyuck looked up. “Can I join?”
“No.”
With that, Jaehyun took his hand in yours then dragged you up to his room which was second on the left, putting him between Johnny and Yuta. The door slammed shut behind the two of you once you entered. Jaehyun immediately pushed you up against the wall, his hands pinning you with nowhere to escape to as his lips began attacking yours.
“I want another one,” he muttered between kisses.
“What?”
“A baby…” He took off your dress and bra. “I want another baby.” His hands began running over your stomach. “Want the boys to send me pictures of you while I’m gone…” He left a big hickey on your neck, forcing you to hiss at the pain. “Want to know that I did it this time… That I have something to look forward to when I come back.”
You fiddled with the buckle of his pants while he latched onto a nipple. “Won’t you be sad, though?”
“Why?”
“You wouldn’t be here…”
“I’ll come back and visit every chance I get.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
You pushed his pants and boxers down to his ankles. He stood and took off his shirt. With your hand suddenly jerking off his hard cock, you whispered in his ear something wanton about wanting to have another baby with him, and that set Jaehyun off. He used his strength to pick you up and prop you against the wall while he replaced your hand with his own so that he could line his tip up with your wet entrance. He chuckled in your ear. It was pathetic that all he did was touch your leg in the car and beg you for a baby and suddenly you were dripping wet for him. But that was Jaehyun. He was sexually appealing just by existing, how could you not be turned on just by the mere sight of him?
Jaehyun truly wasted no time pushing into you. His hold on your body never wavered, fingers digging roughly into the undersides of your thighs so that he could support you while fucking into you at an unrelenting pace. You knew that he’d been pent up for a little bit. Ever since “the conversation”, Jaehyun hadn’t gotten laid by anyone in the house, and that was difficult for him since he was the type of guy to relieve stress by sticking his dick in something, but since you were pissed off, you didn’t entertain him, and the boys were keeping their distance too. Jaehyun had a lot of pent up energy. Between wanting to fuck-out some of his feelings and wanting to have another baby, there was really no reason for him to hold back. So he gave you everything he had.
You tangled your fingers in his hair as he continued to piston in and out of you, strangled grunts reverberating from him every time he hit your clit with his unshaved pubic bone. Even though you were trying not to think about the inevitable, it was impossible to ignore the feeling of his long hair between your fingers and under your palms as you tugged on him to force him to kiss you. Jaehyun did so eagerly, his tongue immediately claiming dominance that you always so willingly handed over to him. With your legs wrapped around his small waist, Jaehyun spun, his cock still inside of you, and he set you on the bed before immediately going back to fucking you. There wasn’t a single moment of reprieve where you could catch your breath. He had a goal in mind, and there was no reality in which he wasn’t going to fill you to the brim with load after load throughout the entire night. Who knew taking silly risks like going out in public together would get him so riled up.
“My good girl,” he cooed lovingly in your ear, “taking my cock so well.” He sucked at your neck to leave a hickey while you whimpered and bucked your hips up into him. “So eager to be filled.”
“Please, Jae—”
His grip on your body tightened threateningly.
“Please, daddy!”
Jaehyun moaned against your skin, one his hands drifting between your bodies to rub your clit as a reward for being good, calling him the name he loved so much. The fingers working on your clit suddenly stopped. You whined, squirming beneath him, desperate for the pleasurable friction to return, but Jae held you still.
“Don’t move.”
You complained with a pout, “Daddy…”
“I know, baby girl, don’t worry, I’ll let you cum. I gotta cum first, though… Then—” He slammed into you roughly. “Then you’ll cum to make sure you take in every drop. Got it?”
You nodded eagerly. “Every drop.”
“Good girl.”
His muscular body swallowed you whole as he put all his weight on the bed, his long hair falling in his face while he kissed you passionately, his legs forcing yours to stay spread wide while his cock stretched you wide, his tip making you wince because it felt like it wa kissing your cervix over and over and over again. He was being a bully. He had you pinned to the point you were immobile, left paralyzed to his will and the chorus of moans the two of you were letting out with every thrust.
“I’m getting close, princess. Shit.” Jaehyun put even more of his weight on you while his hips made shallow thrusts rather than having your hole suck in every single inch each time. “Be good and take my cum.” A final, pornographic grunt set Jaehyun over the edge. His hands squeezing your waist for dear life, his lips pressed to yours, his saliva mixing with yours. “Good girl,” he mumbled.
As he thrusted a few more times to ride out his high, Jaehyun pushed himself upright, moving his weight to his knees so that he had a clear view of your wet cunt which he decided had suffered enough and deserved to finally have an orgasm. His fingers returned to your clit. Both of you moaned when your walls tightened around his cock, pulling in his cum, which only egged him on— All of his focus was trained on making you cum with his big cock still buried inside of you. Jaeahyun was admittedly somewhat of a master with his fingers. Now that he had his sights set on his text task of forcing an orgasm out of you, his skillful fingers rubbed your sensitive nub at a fast pace but in various directions and patterns so that the stimulation was constant and overwhelming, turning you into nothing but moans and pleas for him to have some mercy on you. However, one of Jaehyun’s hands didn’t waver from your hip. He kept you as still as he could while your stomach twisted into knots, his cock all too noticeable. He seemed to know what you were thinking.
He grinned ear to ear and moved his palm from your hip to the bottom of your stomach, pressing on it slightly before he slowly moved his cock. “Feel me, princess? I’m right… here…” And then he pressed his thumb down.
“Oh, fuck— Jae— Daddy— Please!”
“Please, what?”
“Please let me cum!”
“Cum for me, pretty girl.”
You let go within an instant, your body fighting against his hold, your hands desperately clinging to the sheets and his hand that was torturing your overstimulated clit.
“Keep fucking my cock like that, princess. Just like that. So fucking good—”
He threw his head back as he twitched inside of you, another load flooding into you as your own high faded. The two of you were just trading orgasms. He was the worst.
Jaehyun finally loosened his grip and removed his fingers from your throbbing clit. Both of you slumped, but he didn’t pull out of you, instead he reached over for a pillow that he slid under your hips to keep them elevated before he rolled his thumbs over your hardened nipples for fun.
“I’ve got another few rounds in me,” he told you. You looked at him with exhausted, heavy eyes. He was glowing with energy, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his toned abs extending and clenching as he panted, his muscular thighs twitching when he shifted his weight around to sink into you again. “Be good and keep your legs open for me, okay?”
You nodded, “Yes, daddy,” surrendering to his will for the rest of the night.
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Every day after that, Jaehyun would find a rhyme or a reason to have one of the other boys look after Reyna while he fucked you for hours on end in his bedroom. Balls deep in you, he’d always mumble things about knocking you up, having another baby, leaving you with a parting gift. For whatever reason, you didn’t take him seriously. You played into it, moaning that you wanted him to fill you up, to give you a baby… Why you never expected that it would actually happen was beyond you. Nearly three weeks straight he was fucking you into his mattress in every position imaginable. Loads and loads of his cum seeped out of you, day and night, while you were sitting at the dining table eating meals, or while you were cuddled with one of the other boys for movie night. You were an idiot to not seriously think about the consequences.
That was until the dreaded D-Day everyone’d been avoiding for so long.
Watching him from the open doorway of his bedroom, you could see that Jaehyun had pretty much everything ready to go. His hair was already cut short— Shorter than you liked, and they all knew that after the Taeyong debacle in April where Jungwoo had to apologize profusely to you for two weeks straight. His room was in perfect condition, everything was put away neatly, his clothes that were remaining at home were hung up in the closet or neatly folded in his drawers— Even though you said you would keep his clothes fresh so that he would have things to wear when he’d visit. On his desk, there was a stack of letters which you could see had Reyna’s name addressed on the front, along with dates for every week until his discharge. She wouldn’t be able to read them, but he probably expected you or one of the boys to read them to her in his stead. That hurt too much to consider. You didn’t want to think about all the ways he’d poured his heart out for her in those letters, and how you would have to say them out loud like you weren’t suffering without him, that you didn’t miss him every second he was gone.
You gathered the courage to ignore the letters so that you could finally knock on his door with a quiet sniffle. Jaehyun quickly glanced at you to see who was visiting before he returned to his packing. His suitcase was nearly full, there were just a few last minute clothes and toiletries he needed to stuff inside.
“Hi, baby girl. Come in.”
As you stepped forward and sniffled again, Jaehyun looked over his shoulder at you, then once he noticed the tears pooling in your eyes, he stopped packing and turned to you completely.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah, baby. Of course.”
Jaehyun sat next to his suitcase on the bed so that he could pull you sideways onto his lap. “What’s got my baby girl all upset, huh?” He wiped away one of your tears. “I’ll be back in a few weeks—”
“Please don’t leave. Please. I’ll do anything to keep you here, just don’t leave us.”
Jae sighed and kissed your cheek, leaving his lips pressed against you while he thought for a minute. “I’m so sorry, baby, I have to go, you know that.”
You started crying even harder, clinging onto his black sweatshirt, babbling more pathetic pleas for him to not leave. He just kept saying how sorry he was between your sobs. There was no reasoning with him, the same way there was no reasoning with you. He decided that he was leaving. You decided that you couldn’t accept that. The two of you were at a standstill in which his pride and honor was winning against your emotional argument. He knew that it wasn’t easy for you to let go, so he tried to just ease your mind only slightly about seeing him off for training at the least… That still wasn’t good enough for you.
“I’m pregnant, Jae.”
He froze underneath you. “What?” he croaked.
“I took tests ‘cause I was late, and given the last few weeks, I was suspicious…”
One of his hands drifted over your stomach. “Is it mine?”
“Of course it’s yours, stupid. You wanted a baby so bad, so I didn’t sleep with any of the others the past few weeks… Of course they’re fucking yours. That’s why I can’t let you leave.”
He chuckled happily before kissing you passionately, his smile sticking to your lips. The idiot was over the moon with excitement while you were crying on his lap like a wounded puppy that had been ditched on the side of the road. That was practically what he was doing to you. Leaving you early. Leaving you on the side of the road to fend for yourself. Meanwhile he was laughing to himself, mumbling things about how happy he was, that he was relieved you were having another baby— His baby. It was exactly what he wanted, so of course the fucker was satisfied with himself. 
“Please, Jae. For us, don’t leave.”
His smile faded and his eyes fell shut. “I wish I could stay… But we both knew that even if this happened, I’d still have to leave, princess.”
He tried to comfort you with a million different promises that honestly went in one ear and out the other. He would visit every single break he was given. He would be there when the baby would be born, same with Taeyong. It would be a bit longer until Doyoung or Jungwoo would enlist, so you would have them by your side through everything, keeping you company whenever he couldn’t. Everything was going to be okay. He was going to be okay—
“I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“I know he’s a boy.” Jaehyun’s touch drifted back and forth slowly. “I’ve had dreams for the past few weeks that we’d have a boy.” Finally, his hands left your stomach to reach up and cup your face gently while he wiped your tears away with his thumbs. “We’re gonna be okay, princess. When have I ever lied to you?” You couldn’t reply, you just tucked into his touch affectionately. “I love you.”
You fisted the dense fabric of his sweatshirt in your hand to keep him close to your body. “I love you, too.”
“It’s time to go,” Johnny said from the doorway where he must have been watching and eavesdropping like you were minutes prior.
Jae sighed anxiously. “Okay, just give me a second to throw the rest of my stuff in my bag.”
“Yuta’s got Reyna downstairs for you.”
He nodded. “Thanks, hyung.”
After Johnny left, you slid off Jaehyun’s lap reluctantly so that he could finish packing while he quietly explained the letters for Reyna on his desk, how he wanted one of you to read a  letter to her once a week, every week until his return. He didn’t care if she wouldn’t remember anything in the letters. His words meant something, and he was eager to come home to her… and to you. He said that last part after zipping his bag shut and turning to face you while holding it. Eighteen months. He’d be back in eighteen months. There’d be so much to look forward to in that time, like all of Reyna’s milestones, and having another baby. He implored you to send him as many updates as possible, just so he was in-the-know and had keepsakes to get him through those eighteen months. And all you got in return was one last “I love you,” as he left the house with only a small handful of the boys to head to his enlistment ceremony.
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another aurora's note: sending all the valentines love and support <3 he'll be back before we know it. my asks are always open if you want to talk.
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gaddaboutgriffon · 6 months ago
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Super Phantom
Writing prompt #3
Danny reveals his ghost half to his parents and they took it well accepting him. As a result the doctors Fenton then backed out of the weapons deal they had with the GIW and are actively protecting Phantom from them.
The GIW don’t give up even after the anti ecto acts are being repealed and sabotaged the gas tank for Nasty Burger’s grill. This causes the explosion that would Kill Danny’s family and friends there for Jazz’s graduation celebration. Clockwork foresaw of a Dan event happening and froze time to take and de-age Danny, Jazz, Sam, Tucker and Vallarta. (Clockwork is a jerk and frankly blames Jack and Maddie for making the he portals that caused both Vlad and Danny’s halfa status and a lot more work for him. He is letting those two die.)
Clockwork then sends the Deaged to babies/toddler to different places in the Yong Justice cartoon DC universe. All the kids are liminal and have powers.
Jazz now a 3 year old is sent to Hippallita on Themescira. (Excuse my spelling) liminal powers make her strength on par with Amazons.
Sam, age 1 as well and sent to Giovanni Zattarra. Three year old Zatana gets a younger sister that also has the gift of magic. Especially nature/plant magic.
Tucker I had a hard time deciding but eventually chose Lucius Fox. (If you can think of someone better go ahead and make suggestions.)
Vallarie was Supposed to be sent to Ted Kord, but Lex Luthor was trying to tap into the watchtower’s zeta tubs but accidentally got clockwork’s portal instead. It cased he basket to be dropped instead of gently set down. Startled, two year old Vallarie instinctively activates her ghost tech armor. Now that is a curious unexpected asset Lex will find a way to utilize.
And finally deaged to one year old Danny is sent in a in a basket with a solar system print blanket with a envelope sitting on top. The portal opens and the basket is carefully set on the table with the note. Then clockwork places a folder thick with other papers of to the side. He retreats into the portal closing it behind him just as the apartment door is opening.
Clark Kent has just finished his third week of work at the Daily Planet, the evening patrol and even grocery shopping. Thoughts of the paper he needs to write and turn in the morning are on his mind as he enters his apartment in time to notice a Green glow wink out of existence from his kitchen door. He drops the now forgotten grocery bags when he hears the tiny heartbeat and rushes over to the basket on the table.
A sleeping baby. A baby! Wha- how had anyone. When his brain stops stalling he notices the letter. It reads:
Superman,
The boy’s name is Danny. You are the most likely to survive him learning to use his powers as they emerge. His parents died trying to protect him. It is not safe for him here.
I have already forged the legal documents naming you as his godfather and a cover story in the attached folder. Also three gold coins will be sent to you each month as child support. If anyone else looks at this letter the text will change to simply read that you are the godfather of this recently orphaned boy.
Clockwork.
Clark stood in shock rereading the letter in shock a dozen times. Before Lois snapped him out of it.
“Hey Smallville, it may not be Gotham but even in Metropolis you shouldn’t just leave your door open.” She called as she entered from the hall. Then she noticed the spilled bags of groceries on the floor. And came in. “Are you ok? You may be a klutz but you always pick u- Oh My God, That’s a Baby!”
Well that is enough for tonight. I will add on more later. Wonder how quickly this would grow if I don’t tag anyone? Eh just a few. @bloggerspam @confusedshades @hypewinter @zylev-blog @kizzer55555
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streetlamp-amber · 4 months ago
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blanket fort for the soul
dick grayson x batmom!reader
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word count: 2.2k | divider by @saradika | requests are open!
CW: mention of death, family fluff <3 NOTES: dick grayson my little baby i love you so so much you deserve endless happiness and to be protected from all evil
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You were just coming back from your lunch break with two of your coworkers when you received a call from Gotham Academy asking you to come pick up Dick as soon as possible. It didn’t take more than a minute after the call ended for you to inform your boss you were cutting your day of work short today, to grab your black trench coat and bag and to sit behind the wheel of your car, on your way to the private school.
Dick Grayson had entered your lives a month and a half ago, after Bruce took you on a date to Haley’s Circus where the young boy’s parents died tragically in front of your eyes. When you were informed that their child didn't have any family to care for him and would end up in the foster system, you didn't even have to try to convince your husband to begin the process to become his foster parents. It had been two weeks since Dick started living with you in the manor and though he was slowly warming up to Bruce, Alfred and you, he was still plagued with nightmares and a deep sadness about the loss of his family.
“What happened?” You asked the receptionist in a hurry once you arrived at the school. You didn't need to introduce yourself or mention to the woman behind the desk that you were Dick’s ward, perks of being married to Bruce Wayne.
“Ah, Mrs. Wayne!” The headmaster, a bald fifty-something white man with round glasses that you should probably try to remember his name, exclaimed as he appeared in the doorway leading to his office. “Please, follow me.”
You walked around the receptionist’s desk and entered the headmaster’s office, where a small boy with dark hair hung his head low. You could sense the sadness emanating from him the second you stepped in the room. You ignored the principal’s invitation to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk to instead crouch down in front of Dick.
“Dick, sweetie, are you okay?” You asked him worriedly. You rested your hands on his knees and lowered your head to try to catch his eyes.
The young boy shook his head ‘no’ before lunging onto you, wrapping his thin arms around your neck as he wept on your shoulder. You were surprised at first, Dick wasn’t comfortable enough with you and Bruce to do more than holding your hands when outside of the house, but you recovered from the shock in less than a second.
“Oh, bubs,” you whispered in a sigh, hugging him close to you and rubbing your right hand up and down his back in a comforting way as sobs shook his small body.
“He’s been like this since the beginning of the students’ lunch break,” the headmaster sympathetically informed you. “The lunch supervisors tried to comfort him but it was to no avail, so we called you.”
You turned your head to face the older man, noticing at the same time the plaque on his desk that read ‘Principal Richardson’. “You did the right thing,” you told him.
“Given the circumstances, it is more than alright if Mr. Grayson wants to go home for the afternoon,” Mr. Richardson offered.
“Do you want to go back to the manor?” You whispered the question in Dick’s ear and he nodded his head ‘yes’.
You rose up from your crouching position, Dick still hanging onto you tight like you were his lifeboat. Thank God he was a little frail since his parents’ death or you wouldn’t be able to carry the eight year old in your arms right now.
“Thank you, Mr. Richardson,” you thanked the principal and he accompanied you out of the school where one of the lunch supervisors waited at the door with Dick’s school bag and lunchbox.
You sat Dick down in his booster car seat – he was still a little too small to sit without one – and put his bags in the seat next to him before closing the door behind you.
“Please send our salutations to Mr. Wayne,” the principal told you and you shyly smiled, nodding your head one time as you sat down in the driver’s seat.
The ride back to the manor was quiet except for Dick’s sniffles as he continued crying. It broke your heart that you couldn’t just take all of his pain away. Both you and Bruce had lost your parents when you were kids, you understood the grief Dick was in just like you knew that only time will heal him.
Once you arrived home, Alfred came down the stairs to grab your bags while you carried Dick, who was back to latching onto you like a koala, in the house. You kicked off your high heels after walking through the front door and went straight to Dick’s room on the second floor.
“Let’s get you out of that uniform, how’s that sound bubs?” You softly asked him once in his bedroom.
“Okay,” Dick murmured, letting go of your neck to rub the tears away from his eyes and his cheeks.
You sat him down on his bed and turned to his drawer to pull out a pair of pyjamas. You then helped him change his clothes and once he was ready, with Zitka his elephant plushie tucked under his arm, he grabbed your hand and pulled you out of his room.
“Can we make hot cocoa, please?” He looked up at you with his big blue eyes, the colour eerily the same as Bruce’s, and you simply couldn’t say no to them. Not before, not now and definitely not ever.
“Of course, bubs,” you said, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
You both made your way to the kitchen, where Alfred was doing an inventory of the dry food in the cupboards.
“Mrs. Y/N, Master Dick, can I help you with something?” He politely asked you.
“Pretend like we’re not here Alfred,” you told the butler as you helped Dick sit on the kitchen island. “We’re making hot cocoa. Do you want some?”
“You know I would never refuse a cup of your famous hot cocoa, Mrs. Y/N,” Alfred lightheartedly said and the two of you broke down in small chuckles.
“Should we also leave some for Bruce when he gets home?” You asked Dick who was now eye levelled with you from where he was perched on the kitchen island.
The little boy nodded his head ‘yes’ and you set up everything you needed to make the warm beverage, along with four coffee mugs. Dick helped you and in a matter of ten minutes, your drinks were ready.
“Come with me,” you whispered to Dick as you helped him get down from the kitchen island counter. “I have an idea of how to pass time while we wait for the hot cocoa to cool down a little.”
Dick held your hand as you made your way to the living room with the television and the comfy couches (because of course Wayne Manor had more than one living room, including ones that were more formal for the balls and galas you hosted).
“You wanna know what my brother and I used to do when one of us was feeling down?” You looked down at the small boy. He nodded his head for you to continue. “We built the biggest blanket forts that could ever be built. But I think with all the materials we have here, we can build an even bigger one. Are you in?”
You were slowly succeeding at making Dick feel better after the little episode at lunch. Grief comes and goes in waves, and his loss was still very recent. You just wanted to be there for him when the pain hits him.
Dick nodded his head, a little more excitedly this time, and the two of you set off to start building a giant blanket fort using the couch mattresses, throw pillows and blankets stored in the room. You were hanging a blanket that would be the roof while Dick held up the mattresses when Alfred brought your cups of hot cocoa to the living room, the drinks now topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. You thanked the butler and he smiled at you before he went back to the kitchen to complete his inventory, sipping his beverage along the way.
“Are you comfortable in there?” You asked Dick after a moment from the entrance of the blanket fort. He had been in charge of placing the pillows and blankets inside while you made sure the structure was stable.
“Mhm,” he positively hummed in response.
“Alright, I’m gonna give you our cups of hot cocoa then I’m gonna come in with the laptop and we can watch whatever you want,” you told him.
“Okay,” Dick said, his mood lighter.
Once the two of you were settled in the fort with your mugs, you opened the living room laptop (because of course you and Bruce had more than two laptops) and put it down between the two of you.
“So, what are we watching?” You looked at the dark haired boy to your right, waiting for his answer.
He shrugged his shoulders while drinking more of your hot cocoa. Yeah, he was gonna be a ball full of energy until way past his bedtime, but he deserved something fun and comforting. If anything, Bruce could train with him to tire him out once he was back home from work.
“Remember those songs we were listening to on the drive back from Bruce’s office last week?” You tried to jog his memory up to when you blasted Abba’s greatest hits after his first visit to Wayne Tower. You kept stealing glances in the rear view mirror the whole ride, smiling every time you saw Dick bopping his head along to the music.
The little boy nodded his head.
“Well, they made a movie where the characters are on a Greek island and sing the songs the whole time. Wanna watch that?”
Dick shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”
You grabbed the laptop and put it in your lap as you went on Netflix and searched for Mamma Mia!. Dick took the opportunity to scoot closer to you, his small body curling around your torso, and you smiled at the fact that he was more trusting and comfortable with you.
When Bruce arrived back home, he came to a stop in front of the living room with the television in it that he was only planning on passing by while he made his way towards the staircase to get to your shared bedroom. The room was disordered and more loud than it usually was at this time of the day, which is what got his attention away from his cellphone. He loosened his tie, feeling more relaxed now that his day of work as ‘Bruce Wayne, CEO’ was over, and approached the blanket fort in the middle of the room.
“What is going on in here?” He crouched down and peaked his head inside the fort.
“So when you’re near me darling, can’t you hear me? S.O.S.,” you sang instead of answering him, index finger pointing in your husband’s direction.
Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes. “You roped him into watching Mamma Mia?” He asked with a hint of a smile.
“I didn’t rope him in,” you scoffed over Pierce Brosnan’s horrible singing. “I suggested it and Dick agreed to watch it,” you sweetly grinned at Bruce.
Dick, who was still curled against you, one arm looped with yours while the other held tight onto his elephant plushie, nodded his head to back up your claim.
Bruce then noticed the two now empty mugs, clear traces of hot cocoa on them. “Did you make hot cocoa?” He perked up, now fully smiling.
“You got this little man to thank,” you pointed to Dick. “We made a cup for you, just heat it in the microwave then you can join us.”
“I’ll be right back,” Bruce said and jogged to the kitchen where a cup of your famous hot cocoa was indeed waiting for him. He was back in the living room two minutes later, shoes and blazer off, top buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows, ready to relax with his family.
He handed you his cup of hot cocoa for you to hold while he made his way in the blanket fort and settled on your left since the laptop was still in your lap, hence putting you in the middle. Once next to you, Bruce pecked your lips to greet you and when Dick glanced up at him, the look in his eyes wondering if he would also receive some kind of greeting, your husband affectionately ruffled his dark hair before leaning over you to plant a kiss of the top of the little boy’s head.
Bruce then made himself comfortable, also cuddling onto you, and put his head on your shoulder, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips as he did so. You handed him his mug back and the three of you continued watching Mamma Mia!, much to your happiness.
Enveloped in the warmth of your two boys squishing you from both sides, you couldn’t fight off the smile that pulled on your lips. Laying under your blanket fort with your little family, it was moments like this one that made everything else worth it.
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simpee9000 · 3 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 9 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8 : Words 5.1k
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
The change was weird. A lasting sour taste in your mouth.
It was sudden too. His withdrawal from your life was instant.
Rather than how it was when you were temporarily sharing his room, he didn't wake you up and say goodbye. You thought that was just a morning after an argument thing, but it lasted. Going into the next week he even changed it more.
He no longer let you share your mornings, you had to relearn to use your own alarm quickly. Your schedules conflicted more than just that as well.
Lunch would no longer work, he switched his patrol times and took on meetings instead of leaving the space open for you.
Dinner wasn't really a thing anymore either. He stopped telling you when he'd be home, and after the first week of him not being home till late, you gave up. Throwing yourself into work as well. Changing your hours so you could sleep in more and get home later. Just to eat some leftovers he packed up for you, before turning in.
Words weren't really exchanged anymore and it was weird. You shared a room, and a bed, yet never saw each other awake.
It felt like a break up. In the simplest of terms. It wrecked you for a while. Felt like you were trudging along as you waited for him like a puppy.
You knew he held grudges but you've never expected him to turn it onto you.
You wanted to mourn the relationship but felt like it wasn't a right you had. He was still your boyfriend, you think. And you talked after you woke him up getting into bed. A quick conversation, but a conversation nonetheless. But the relationship back peddled to way before he got the watch. It felt like how it was after your first kiss in first year. Consuming yourselves with school to avoid the talk.
His mom still called often, nothing changed with how she spoke to you. Nothing changed outside your relationship with him and it was weird. You don't even know if your friends have noticed and it's been months.
It was nearing the end of October, the argument happened in the middle of August.
And none of your friends even blinked an eye. When Katsuki refused an invitation they assumed the normal, not surprised to see you at the bar without him. Mei didn't even notice. When you brushed off your change of work schedule and said he changed as well, she didn't ask another question. Thinking you were only glum because of the negative side of the internet. Fans bashing you at any corner possible.
It didn't bother you much, felt like a fly buzzing around you constantly but it was liveable.
Getting pestered for more interviews, people trying to get an inside look at Dynamight's home life. But you followed Shoto's PR manager's advice and chose to stay out of the limelight. Only interviewing when it was about your work.
Your work was your baby after all. Especially recently, it was hard to get you out of the office before two in the morning. Having more heroes come to you than before. It was exciting to see your career grow, you were just slightly annoyed that it was because of Katsuki that it grew. But a win was a win.
Everyone agreed with you on that, your friends closed down a bar for you, wanting to celebrate how many clients you had. You were getting article after article written about your work, being named as the second-best individual support tech in all of Japan. Because obviously, they'd have rankings for that as well.
A blush instantly covered your face when you walked into the bar, Mei pushing you forward. She dragged you out of the lab for once and convinced you to show face.
Kirishima is the first to tackle you in a hug, letting Mina do the same right after. "Congrats," he patted your shoulder as he pulled you more into the bar.
Most of Class A was there for you, celebrating you. Other pros you met along the way as well. People that you stayed in touch with since high school. Anyone you would want to be there was there.
"You guys shouldn't have," you smiled at the group, it was contagious. Denki had a derpy smile on him while Mina was bouncing around.
Kirishima laughed you off, "You needed it, been stuck in that lab and it paid off." You shrunk in on yourself when called out, you hadn't really been showing up that often to group outings. Not nearly as much as you used to.
"I got your favorite Cake!" Mina skipped towards you as best as she could. The cake was custom-made for you, having only the best flavors.
"It's not my birthday," you felt the need to point out, given the size of the celebration. And the candles that topped the cake.
"Might as well be," Mina pushed, "You're a new person! Officially number 2 in Japan!"
You did feel like a new person, you've changed a lot in the past two months.
"Come on," Mei teased over your shoulder, "Blow out the candles!"
"Make a wish!" Mina cheered, pushing the cake closer to you. And with the people you knew, they joined in. Cheering you on.
"They're gonna melt, y'know," Sero urged you once move.
"Fine," you laughed, feeling lighter than you had in the past couple of months. Thinking of nothing in particular as you blew out the candles, only looking around the crowd after. Noticing the lack of a certain blonde.
Rather than letting your shoulders slump too much, you let yourself fall into the cheer from your friends.
It was how you've done things since. You stopped waiting around for him, for the first time since you were kids. You pushed past him, not looking at every notification on your phone and hoping it was him. It didn't take Izuku this long to move beyond Katsuki, so you don't know why you let yourself take this long. Living behind him for so long.
You were pushed from conversation to conversation, catching up with people you haven't seen in a while and then talking with your closest friends. Being handed drink after drink in the process.
"You've been working a lot," Izuku commented when you finally made your way to him.
"Yeah," you nodded happily, "It's paid off."
He furrowed his brows, "You shouldn't overwork yourself. You haven't had a day off in months."
"Not true, I take a day off every week," you corrected him, not knowing where he got that idea. You took a day off every week, taking time to sleep the entire time.
"But-" he looked so confused, "Kacchan said you're not home, like ever."
"Oh," you understood the confusion now, "I switched my off days."
"Why?"
You shrugged, not really wanting to get into this conversation. Especially not with him and not now. You'd fall apart instantly. The feeling and pressure of your fragile relationship sitting on top of your chest. "Needed a change, you know how it is."
"I'm here for you, I know I'm busy but if you need anything I'm here," he was taking on the concerned best friend role, like usual.
"Z', I'm fine, really," you brushed off his concern, "Better than ever, my career is taking off, that's all that matters."
"That's not all that matter-"
"I need to go thank Mina and Mei again for setting this up," you excused yourself and walked through the slowly dying crowd. Meeting with the two pink-haired girls that were chatting near the food.
"Why do you look so drained?" Mei called out instantly, Mina slapping her shoulder right after.
"Social battery is just nonexistent right now," you lied, picking up a piece of food.
Mina looked around the bar, "It seems like it's just your close friends now, everyone else left by now."
You sighed in relief, you wanted to go home somewhat. Yet you didn't want to go back to him.
"Hey, Mei," you got her attention, "Can I spend the night?"
"Yeah," she shrugged, "Thought your social battery was dead though?"
"Friends don't count," you contradicted yourself and just prayed they wouldn't call you on it.
"Still, you never ask," Mei pointed out.
"I'm a new person," you grabbed another piece of food, filling your mouth so you couldn't be asked anymore.
"If you're mad at Bakugo for not showing up I wouldn't blame you." Mina spoke softly, "Dick move of him honestly."
"He's busy, it's fine," you defended him without another thought.
"No it's not, how many award shows have you been to for him?" Mei joined in. It felt nice they had your back, but it wasn't necessary.
You sighed, "I'm used to it. I'll have plenty more so it's fine."
Mina and Mei shared a look, not wanting to give in and forgive him as easily as you do, but not wanting to put you down either. "You're welcome to stay at mine," Mei finished the conversation.
A small gasp left Mina's mouth, eyes widening. "Bag of dicks is here," Mei groaned.
You couldn't help looking over your shoulder, seeing Katsuki for the first time awake in a while. Seeing Kirishima and Denki crowd him instantly. Greeting him warmly as you stood there. "I need a drink," you twisted your direction to head to the bar. Tonight was going to be a good night, not another about him.
Looking at him was too much, it hurt at first. Knowing your last real conversation was an argument. One where he threatened to take sex away from you, when he actually took everything him away. Just because you didn't want him to die for a stupid reason. It hurt to see everything on his side was fine.
It pissed you off. He was acting the same as you were, sure, but you would have gone to his award show. You would have been the first one there. Yet here he was, the last person to show after most left.
The bartender was quick to hand you a drink, watching and replacing it after you downed it all. You've been steadily drinking all night but a new buzz would help. Help the anger that was brewing over you.
You turned around when you had your second drink, wanting to sip on this one instead. Only getting more upset when he was still talking to his friends. Not even sparing you a glance. You let your head fall at this point, watching your shoes as you tapped your feet.
Any thought other than him would help, this wasn't about him. It shouldn't be.
For the past two months, you've been doing everything alone, and it's shown it's worth it. This was just another event that you had to get through. You'd just have to deal with him standing on the sidelines for once.
You saw Uraraka's white shoes before she spoke, "Do you want to join the group?"
When you looked up you saw that people pushed tables together, all of them sitting down together. How you didn't hear them move everything was surprising. Once you got rid of the shock, you turned back to her, "Yeah sure."
She smiled warmly, linking her arm with yours as she walked to the table with you. Sitting down next to you after you took your spot at the head of the table, next to him, unfortunately. You kept your body turned away from him, focusing on talking with her. The two of you didn't get to talk often after all. But you liked her nonetheless, she was the embodiment of welcoming.
The side conversations easily merged into one big conversation. You looked over the group as you leaned back in your chair. Sero was laughing as Denki rambled, Mei and Mina encouraging the conversation while Kirishima tried to reel it back in. Izuku was smiling fondly at the group, the same as Shoto. It was all your closest friends, it made you feel warm.
"It is not just a high school thing," Denki pointed at Sero laughing, "you're just mad that you couldn't." You were easily confused by his outburst, not having a clue what the conversation was about.
"No Nut November is like a middle school joke," Sero stated back.
"What is that?" Shoto asked, confused.
Denki and Sero started laughing, forcing Mina to explain, "It's a thing guys do, a challenge of not nutting for the full month of November."
"Nutting?" Shoto asked again.
"You're kidding!" Denki wheezed.
"Cumming," Kirishima answered, face cringing at the conversation. Everyone cringed besides Denki and Sero, who were too busy laughing.
"Why would you do that though?" Shoto was trying to piece together the concept.
"Only idiots do," Katsuki cut in. It was the first time you heard his voice so clearly all night.
Not being given a chance to soak in his voice, Denki starts defending the idea again, "You're only saying that cause you couldn't last that long."
"I could," Katsuki bit back, wanting to win at anything challenged.
"Please," Sero started teasing as well, "Bakugo you'd last a day."
"How the fuck would you know?"
"You either get some daily or never," Sero pointed out, "I'm falling on the likelihood of daily, knowing your girlfriend."
"Okay," you slapped your hands on the table, "Enough of that conversation."
Mina booed at you, having enjoyed the guys bickering.
"Thank god," you heard Izuku whisper in relief.
"I think I'm going to head out," you announced, standing up and giving Mei a nod so she knew she should get ready. You were thankful the bar was already nearly clean, no help was needed.
You looked down at Katsuki when you heard his keys, the sound familiar to you.
"Did you drive here?" Katsuki asked you, looking back up at you.
"Uh-" you looked at Mei, "I didn't."
"Need a ride back home?" he offered, standing up next to you.
It hurt to decline him, but you didn't want anything to do with him, not tonight.
"Ready?" Mei joined you by your side.
You looked between the two before settling on Katsuki, "I'm actually going to stay the night at Mei's." Any hope he had in his eyes left, face dropping in the slightest bit. You didn't notice the look he held until it was gone.
He looked like he got his heart ripped out and stomped on, but so did you.
"Look, if this is about me showing up late, I'm-"
A surprised laugh left your lips, it was mean. And the look on his face showed that he felt that it was mean as well. "This isn't about you Katsuki," you put it bluntly. It wasn't about him, tonight wasn't about him. You wanted to keep a good mood, and going home with him wouldn't do that.
You didn't give him the chance to reply before you grabbed onto Mei, wanting to leave as soon as possible. Going through all the goodbyes.
---
Mei and you shared the same horrible sleep schedule. She grabbed some wine as she let you collapse on her couch and turned the TV onto something for background noise the second you got to her apartment.
She handed you a glass before she sat down next to you, beer in her own hand. "I got to ask now, you know that right?"
You groaned, taking a sip of your wine, "Hit me with the questions." Avoidance wouldn't last in a small setting and you knew that.
"What the hell happened between you guys?"
"We're having a rough spot right now," you answered simply, shuffling further into the couch.
"That much is obvious."
"Fine," you gave in, taking a deep breath to give an actual answer, "I haven't really talked to him for two months."
Mei's face drained of all color, "What?"
"Yeah," you shrugged, swirling the wine in your glass.
"Are you broken up?" Mei reached a hand to rest on your forearm.
"No, at least," you thought for a second, "I don't think we are."
"How are you with someone you haven't talked to in months?"
"I don't know," you mumbled.
"What type of argument could have caused that?"
You wanted to laugh out of frustration, looking back on it was painful and stupid to you. Yet you were still so mad. "Y'know how I made him that watch?" she nodded, "Well, he asked me to make the watch for the reasons you thought. And he was fully relying on it. Having his quirk off every time he was next to me."
"Can't that kill you?" Mei asked.
"Yes, so I told him that and he turned it into a massive thing. I asked him to take it off, and he said no, so I told him I wouldn't touch him when he had his quirk off. Now we just don't talk," you explained quickly, chest tightening.
"But you're still dating?" you could tell she was trying to be sensitive to the situation.
All you could do was shrug, "I still share a bed with him, so I'm assuming yes."
"How come you don't talk to him?"
"I tried the first week, but when he changed his schedule around to avoid me, I did the same."
"So that's why-"
"Yeah, it's done a lot of good for me though. I've finally grown a lot more. My career is at a high and it's only up from now. I'm no longer just in his shadow. Honestly, I'm thankful for the fight. I finally feel like an adult. I don't need anyone to get me where I am and it's refreshing," you admitted. A lot of good has come from it, and you weren't going to ignore it.
"But you love him?" Mei asked, trying to make sure.
"Of course, he just isn't my life."
"You're not going to try for him? You have been each other's since you were five," Mei worded slowly.
"I'm not reaching out to someone who doesn't want me, Mei," you looked at her, firm on what to do about everything. It was already settled before but now you've actually said it. "I don't know why it took me forever to realize, I wish I did when Izuku did. I would be a lot further in life."
"You already are far in life, you're not even twenty and your 2nd best support tech-"
"I could have been first-"
"No," Mei shook her head, "I'm sorry to say it, but you're only this far because of him. Because of your friends."
"Mei-"
"I'm not wrong, you've been given endless support. Without that? You would still be fumbling behind everyone else. You can't get anywhere in life solely on your own."
"Well, it wasn't only him," you pointed out. You agreed with her, your friends helped a lot.
"It was majority him," she pointed out.
You rolled your eyes, "Don't you somewhat hate him?"
"I still know he's good for you, and if your entire relationship goes to shit over this, I'm not letting myself be a part of it. Is he an asshole for showing up late? Yes, fuck him for that. Is he a dick for throwing a fit about kissing and not talking to you? Absolutely. But he is also the man who loves you the most, he's been there for you so many times. Are you going to throw that away?"
"I'm not throwing shit away, he is," you defended yourself, tears lining your eyes.
"Your not even trying-"
"I shouldn't have to," you stood up, "I tell him everything while he keeps himself away. I'm fucking done. If he wants me, he needs to tell me."
"What are you doing?" Mei questioned, seeing you grab your things.
"Leaving," you said firmly.
"You don't have a car-"
"I'll walk," you spit out, slamming the door to her apartment as you left. Breaking down when in the elevator. You wanted tonight to be about you, about your success. Yet as always, it turned out to be about him. You thought you'd grown out of being only mentioned because of him.
You walked on uneasy footing until you got out of her block. She was your best friend and she didn't even understand. It made you wish you talked to Izuku.
The street lamps lit up your bag as you looked for your phone. Glancing at the time before you dialed his number. His sleep was fucked up too, so you weren't worried about waking him up
"Are you okay?" was the first thing he said, full of concern. It was 3 in the morning after all.
"No," you choked on a sob, choosing to lean on a wall rather than continue walking. You didn't even know where to walk.
"What's going on? Do I need to get you-"
"I'm safe," you cleared up your throat, "I'm just struggling."
"Why?"
"Katsuki and I are in a rough patch, Mei doesn't get my side on it, and I can't turn to him," you rambled, "I just don't know what to do."
"Just breathe right now, you're going to get worse if you continue like this," he counted for you to follow. Performing his hero script as he calmed you down.
You let yourself sit on the concrete, leaning your back onto a random building as you rested your head on your knees.
"Okay," you whispered into the phone, "Katsuki and I haven't talked in two months."
Izuku was a rambler but he was also a good listener. Letting you get out any detail you needed before even opening his mouth. So you told him everything, leaving out any sex-related things. Telling him Katsuki used the watch to hug you or kiss you, so a truth in the cover-up. He could draw up that conclusion on his own.
"I was just thinking that maybe you'd understand," you finished, "I'm just so tired of reaching out to him."
"I get it," he started, "Probably the only one that does. He locks himself off and just expects you to come chasing for him. And the second you don't, he throws a fit. You should let him, I know it's hard, but he needs to grow up as well. You told him your concern and he locked you out, he needs to be the one to let you back in."
You sighed in relief, "So I'm doing the right thing?"
"Yes, especially in a relationship. It shouldn't be so one-sided with communication. You come a long way in the past months, and he should acknowledge that. I love you both, and I hope you guys work past it, but if it doesn't then it's for the best," he spoke to you like a brother would. You didn't even notice when the dynamic between the two of you flipped. Him going from acting like a younger brother to the older brother.
"Thank you," you sniffled, trying to dry the tears that have been working down your face, "Mei thinks I'm throwing everything away."
"He's the one that pushed you out, he's throwing it away," Izuku pointed out. You hummed in agreement, looking down at your phone.
"Holy fuck," the time surprised you, it was nearing five in the morning, and it was a Saturday. You were thankful that the city wasn't awake yet. "I need to get home."
"You're not home?!" he squeaked into the phone, "Where are you?"
"I don't know," you answered honestly, standing upright and stretching your limbs out.
"What?!"
"I'll start walking home now," you tried to calm him down.
"Do you know how dangerous that is?"
"I'm fine Izuku, I'm maybe a block away from home," that seemed to calm him down. He let you hang up the phone, telling you to text him when you were home.
You were glad to have a hoodie at this point, pulling the hood up to hide your tear-streaked face as you walked back home. Needing the ten-minute walk to calm down. Think for yourself.
While you fully agreed with Izuku, you also saw Mei's point of view. She wanted you happy, and you were happy with Katsuki. You didn't want to break up with him, you loved him fully. But if he couldn't meet you halfway, you weren't going to rush to fill that emptiness he left. You'd rather move on to better things. Maybe find someone who would.
With your head hung low the entire walk back to your apartment, you didn't even notice you were in the elevator until it opened on your floor. Having walked all the way on a full autopilot. Thinking of your relationship that overtook one of the biggest days of your career.
You opened your door with a sigh, throwing your keys on the shelf before turning into the kitchen for some water. Filling up a glass before you walked to the basket of blankets in the corner of the living room.
The second you turned around to walk to the couch you dropped your glass. A shocked scream left your lips when you saw Katsuki sitting there in the dark.
"What the fuck are you doing?" you hissed at him, confused as to why he was sitting in the dark and not in his room.
"I was sleeping," he answered.
"Here?" you shot back, bending down to pick up the broken glass.
"Aren't you supposed to be at Mei's?"
You squeezed your hand in annoyance, only noticing the burn of the cut then.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," you turned his concern down, throwing away the broken glass when you walked into the kitchen. Thankful that it broke into big pieces rather than small. You ran your hand underwater as you ignored him.
"You're bleeding," it was clear he was groggy with sleep.
"No shit," you answered plainly.
"Fuckin' c'mere," he moved near you, trying to grab your hand only to get swatted away.
"I can take care of myself," you snapped at him, moving to grab a paper towel, trying to dry up the small cut.
"Think I don't fucking know that?" he asked back, agitated at your reactions to him. You waited for the bleeding to stop before throwing away your trash and grabbing a bandaid to cover the small cut to your finger.
You shrugged, "Never know with you. Never tell me anything. Don't know what you know or don't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I-" you sighed, you didn't want to get into it, "Nothing, I'm tired." You walked past him again, grabbing a blanket and getting comfortable on the couch.
"You're sleeping down here?"
"Yeah, go to bed Katsuki," you turned away from him.
"Kats," he said softly, making you turn to face him again.
"What?"
"You stopped calling me Kats, it's only this Katsuki bullshit now."
"Whatever, Katsuki," you dismissed without thinking, turning back over as you tried to forget how he looked just then. It's how he looked at the party, just ten times worse.
"What happened to us?"
You didn't bother to reply, it was clear he wanted you to do the talking. But if he wanted to actually talk, he had to first.
"This," he paused, silence filling the air before he cleared his throat only for his voice to crack regardless, "This isn't what I want."
"You never told me what you wanted," you couldn't help but reply.
"I'm not good at this type of shit," he was angry at himself but you wouldn't fall into this pity party for himself. "I didn't think you'd change your schedule."
"You changed yours."
"I only did that because I needed to think," he defended.
"For two months?"
"I switched it back after but you weren't home, and haven't been since."
"So you couldn't have called? Asked me when I did get home at night? Woke me up in the morning to talk?"
"You could have done the same."
"I always do that Katsuki," you turned to face him, "I'm always the one fucking chasing you. And I'm done."
He choked, "You're done?"
"I'm done chasing after you," you clarified, "I've met you halfway, time after time, you just need to do the same."
Silence buzzed around the living room. The two of you were just staring at each other. Both are equally heartbroken. You looked him over for the first time in months.
"You're still wearing the watch," you pointed out, seeing the gleam of it on his wrist.
"You gave it to me," he replied, "I haven't used it since, by the way."
"Good."
He took a shaky breath in, "I'm so fucking sorry, Brains." You waited for him to continue, "You were right, I wasn't using it just as a crutch. I was completely relying on it." It hurt to hear it from him, you already knew it was true. "I, fuck," he ran his hand over his face, "I went to the doctor too, they said if I used it that much it'd kill me. Having my quirk completely off."
You couldn't be more glad about the fight now, knowing it kept him from killing himself. Sure it wouldn't kill him immediately, but over time it would just get worse and worse for his health.
"Once I found out you were right, I just couldn't bear the thought. I don't feel safe around you without my quirk dampened and now I can't," he admitted, "I feel my quirk just with this conversation. I don't want to hurt you."
"You were late to the party," you pointed out instead, "You never even congratulated me."
He hung his head, "I got sidetracked with trying to get a gift- but I was going to congratulate you at home."
"Doesn't excuse it."
"I know, I'm sorry," he reached into his pocket, "I got this for you though." He tossed the small bag at you.
You gave him an unsure look before opening it, first seeing a sticker of "World's Best Tech" an inside joke between the two of you. He hated the idea of #1 mugs and things like it, claiming he was better than everyone else. The next was just a small necklace, something easy to wear with everything.
"It doesn't make up for shit, and that's not what I'm trying to do with it," he said after you stared at the gift for a while.
"I know," you spoke softly, the gift was thoughtful for your relationship.
"I'm so fucking proud of you, I knew you could do it," he followed.
Tears were hitting your eyes harder than before. Despite claiming you didn't need him. You wanted to hear him say that so bad.
You saw him move to get up when he saw your tears, sitting back down and grabbing his own hands when he decided against it. You patted the seat next to you. As long as his watch wasn't on, you were okay. He rushed immediately to your side, tugging you into a hug before he could overthink.
"I should have talked to you a lot sooner," he spoke into your hairline, leaving a kiss on your forehead after.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry I can't be there for you like this," he said softly.
You pulled back from him, "What do you mean?"
"Can't hug you and shit," he grumbled, pulling you back into him. Not wanting you to see his face.
You sat in silence for a while, soaking in his words and the perspective he likely had the past two months. He could have thought you stopped talking to him because he couldn't touch you anymore.
"I'm not mad that you can't touch me, I'm upset that you don't talk to me, in general," you spoke just as softly as he did, wanting to comfort him the way he was comforting you.
He let out a breath of relief, "It's gotten worse without you around."
"What did?"
"My quirk just goes off without you now, just the thought freaks me out enough. Fuckin' annoying," he confessed.
"Is it going to go off soon?" you wanted to be prepared to be pushed away from him. If he did it unannounced you'd likely cry. He just squeezed you closer.
"No," he said quietly, "It's finally calmed the fuck down."
-Next Part-
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
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axelsagewrites · 1 year ago
Text
Jace Velaryon*Frat Baby
Pairing: Jace x pregnant!f!reader
Word count: 1688
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Warnings: rivalry, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers
Masterlist Here
Part One Here
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Jace had went from being your sworn childhood enemy to fuck buddy to now the most awkward conversation of your life. You had been avoiding completely for the past month as you debated what to do so when Jace got the ‘we need to talk’ text he made sure he was free the next day for lunch. You were sat in a café across from campus, anxiously sipping on the caffeine-free tea Sansa had insisted you switch to instead of your regular coffee.
You wondered if the hole in your stomach was morning sickness or nerves but you just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best as you waited. Jace walked in, dressed like a burst bag of clothes, and anxiously scanned the room before rushing to your table. “You’re late,”
“Class ran over. have you ordered?” he said making you roll your eyes at his lack of apology as he ordered from the very perky waitress you were for some unknown reason suddenly jealous of. after he ordered, even ordering you your favourite sandwich which you were shocked he knew, he turned his attention back to you, “So what’s ‘Defcon one’?” he asked, quoting your text.
You took a deep breath as you debated how to say it before suddenly the words tumbled out, “I’m late,”
“I thought you didn’t have class today?” Jace asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy making you face palm. A few beats of silence passed before Jace said a quiet oh, followed by a louder oh, followed by a “oh fuck,” followed by one more quiet oh.
“You good?”
“I mean sure. Are you?” he asked, sitting up suddenly and leaning over the table and dropping his voice, “Does it like hurt?”
You stared at this frat boy for a solid three seconds before rolling your eyes, “I’m pregnant not dying!”
“I thought it hurt, okay?”
“It hurts later on,”
“How am I supposed to know that?”
“Highschool biology!”
“I ditched that week!”
“Yeah, to fuck Sara Snow!” the waitress who brought your food offer gave an awkward smile making you both sigh and drop your voice. “Look I get this isn’t what we planned for but,” you paused for a second before finally saying the words out loud, “I wanna keep it, him, her, them I don’t know. but either way I totally do not expect you do be involved and I wont even tell your mom but I- “
“Eh!” Jace cut you off, his eyes widening as his shoulders tensed, “No! you don’t get to just toss me aside during this,”
“I’m not tossing you aside- “
“Yes, you are! It’s my kid!”
“It’s a clump of cells,”
“My god damn cells. Half of them belong to me,”
“What you want me to stick em on a petri dish?” you spat out, “Look I’m just trying to give you an out,”
“Who said I wanted an out?”
“You wanna raise this baby?”
“Yes, I wanna raise *my* baby,”
“It’s my baby,”
“Our baby!” Jace said before sighing, “Look I’m not going anywhere and don’t for a second think I’m gonna leave my kid behind thinking I’m a dead beat. No this is what’s gonna happen- “
“You are in no position to tell me what to do- “
“Shut up!” Jace snapped, “Honest to god shut up and listen to me okay cause I am freaked the fuck out right now but I am not gonna abandon you,” he said and you weren’t sure if it was the foetus getting to your brain but it was the sweetest way he’d ever told you to shut up which would normally be met with a rude slap, “We are gonna do this together. I’m gonna get a part time job at my family’s firm. We’re gonna save like hell and then by the time our last year rolls around the baby will be like what? 3 months?”
“Two,” you said as you let Jace recover from his spiral.
“Right two. We’re gonna get a flat off campus and we’ll just have to pick our classes at the same time to make sure we can do it, okay?” he said but the way his eyes were strained made you wonder if he was genuinely asking for reassurance.
“We got this,” you said, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand, “We’ll figure it out,”
Jace let out a heavy sigh of relief as he sunk into his chair and picked up his sandwich, “Okay good. Now eat up. And we’re getting dessert too. You’re eating for two,”
-
Shockingly Jace had been sweet this whole time. each day he dropped off snacks or random baby things he’d found at your dorm. This ranged from dummies to blankets to a fucking crib catalogue. When summer break came you were pregnant, terrified, and explaining to both your parents and Jace’s about the whole situation.
They were unpredictably happy. That was till you told them you weren’t a couple and your mums both deflated a little but eventually they got back with the programme. You expected Jace to lap up his final child free summer out partying but instead he took day trips with you to the beach, went out baby shopping with you, and would just sit in with you watching movies and eating ice cream. You wondered if he was trying to make you gain 100 sizes by the end of this pregnancy with the amount of junk food, he got you. he’d even drive over at 2am with whatever weird pregnancy craving you had.
The giving birth part was the terrifying bit. But Jace held your hand through every push. “Just one more,” the midwife told you as you began to break Jace’s hand with your grip but finally you heard the cries and let your head fall back into the pillow as you panted, “It’s a girl!”
“We have a daughter,” Jace grinned, a wide dopey smile on his face. His head turned to face you and soon you broke out in your own smile as they cleaned your baby up. You saw his head begin to dip but this kiss was far different from any other.
It was sweet and tender and life altering even if it lasted a second before the woman brought your daughter over and placed her on your chest, “Hi baby,” you cooed at her.
Jace leant over to get a better view, “She’s so pretty,” he whispered, “just like you,” he added as he kissed the top of your head, not even poking fun at the sweaty state of it.
-
Jace moved into the guest room at your house for the first week of your daughter's life but soon he ended up in your room. He said it was for convenience but that didn’t explain why he held you in his arms. As you began to unpack your things in your new flat as your baby slept you turned to Jace, “What are we?” you asked as he unpacked the plates.
He rolled his eyes at you as he put them in the cupboard, “My girlfriend you idiot,”
“You never asked,” you shot back, hand on hip.
He turned to you with his cockiest face possible, “Sorry I thought between the sex, cuddling, and baby we just had you would’ve caught on,”
“Uhuh,” you rolled your eyes as he turned away from you to continue unpacking but you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his back, “Ask me,”
You could hear him chuckle before he turned around, taking your face in his hands, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
You grinned before putting on your best thinking face, “I suppose I could be,”
“You suppose,” he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he lent in to kiss you only to be rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. “I’m gonna kill him,” Jace groaned as he ran to the door to stop the noise, so the baby didn’t wake.
“What up bro?” Cregan whisper shouted as he hurled into your flat, “Where’s the baby?”
“She’s in the nursery sleeping,” Jace said, slapping him in the stomach as he mentioned the sleep.
Cregan rolled his eyes as he passed Jace and walked up to you with an overflowing gift bag, “Consider this a baby-welcome home-nice to meet you properly gift,” he said as he handed you the bag.
You laughed as you began to empty the contents onto the bunker to find university baby sized hoodies, t shirts, hats, and even a scarf. Of course, digging further in you found a soccer jersey, baby sized of course, rattles, and then your hand settled on a box. “Condoms?” you asked, holding the box in the air.
“Hey!” Cregan defended, hands in the air, “She’s cute and all but I’m not ready to be a double uncle. They’ll overtake me when I babysit,”
You and Jace turned to each other before looking back at him, eyes narrowing with concern, “Who said you were babysitting?” Jace asked.
Cregan just rolled his eyes as he began to wander and look for the nursery, “Bitch please she needs me. I’m the fun uncle,”
“You’re not her uncle?” you said as he reached the pink painted nursery door.
Cregan span round, hand on heart and hurt in his eyes, “Not cool man. She’s not just your guy’s baby. She’s basically the frat baby,”
You debated arguing more but watching Cregan, a built like a truck manly man, fawn over a baby no bigger than a doll was too cute to interfere with. You weren’t sure how you survived university with a baby and a Jace btu somehow with a lot of help from Cregan and Sansa who had become expert babysitters by now you managed. Some day you would have to explain to your daughter her parents were sworn enemies but not today. No today your daughter was three years old and teaching Jace to do Taylor Swift choreography with her so they could surprise you.
Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @jacesvelaryons
@aleemendoza2425-blog  @happinessinthebeing @bellstwd
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6ix9inewiturmom · 4 months ago
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Mine- Christopher Sturniolo
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Summary: You’re on stream with the triplets and you come on the screen and the chat goes CRAZY, starts hitting on you, calling you beautiful, andChris gets a little jealous and decides to remind you of who you belong to…
Warnings: SMUTTTT, Dom!Chris,Sub!Reader, p in v, Unprotected sex (practice safe sex please), degradation, praising, oral (fem receiving), (idk what else i missed)
A/N: UMMM THIS WAS REQUESTED A LONG TIME AGO BUT TY FOR REQ THIS SO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME SO LONG, Chris is low-key like ROUGH in this.. Could u tell I'm ovulating
PSA: THIS IS MY WORK PLEASE AND THANK YOU DO NOT USE MY WORK AT ALL
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Chris and I have been dating in the public eye for about 2 ish weeks now, but in private it's been 2 years, surprisingly the fans took it a lot better than he and I both expected. I've received more love than hate, occasionally I'll get a 14-year-old girl in my DMs or comment section talking about stealing her man or whatever.
Today was the first time the Triplets had streamed on their Twitch channel in a couple of months now, so obviously Chris invited me for our first actual Twitch stream since being out in the public eye.
“MATT YOU FUCKING SUCK, HOW DID YOU ALREADY DIE AFTER BEING IN A MATCH FOR 3 MINUTES” Chris yells through his headset.
“Hey, baby...” i slowly walk a little timid after trying to compose myself to join the stream.
Chris squeals softly excited to see me finally join the stream “Hi ma, glad to see you finally keeping me company” he pats his lap for me to sit, and I smile softly adjusting myself on his thigh.
I giggled softly looking through the chat. “Hey someone named Ellie just subscribed”
“SHES A PRO ALREADY” Nick yells.
Instead of focusing on the game, Chris was playing I found myself looking through their chat.
Sturnfan626: Y/N IF YOU AND CHRIS BREAK UP BE MINEE
The4thtriplet: Shes stunning oh my god
Crybaby19853: this is how I find out Chris has a girlfriend? But wait why is she like absolutely beautiful.
The chat was flooding with compliments about me and how Chris bagged me or them not understanding how Chris pulled me.
“Awe Chris your fans are so sweet look” I smiled at him as he glanced at the chat screen his eyes darkened watching 35k people hitting on me, and even a couple wanting me to start an Onlyfans which to protect my sanity and privacy I would never.
“Yeah I know I got a hot girlfriend” Chris sort of rolls his eyes before focusing his eyes back to the screen.
“Thank you, everyone,” I softly giggle as Chris’ hand snaked around my waist gripping it a little hard.
I was bombarded with comments in the chat, responding to questions about Chris and me while the boys kept playing Fortnite. Unbeknownst to me, it was disturbing Chris, as he began muttering curse words under his breath, a rare occurrence unless he's truly angry.
“I don't know about you guys but I'm super fucking tired,” Chris says while clicking out of the match, now using both of his hands and wrapping them around my waist.
“BYE EVERYONE WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR JOINING OUR STREAM TONIGHT” Nick yells kissing the camera.
“we’ll see you when we see you,” Matt says ending the stream
Chris groans as the stream ends leaning back in his chair and running his fingers through his hair. “Get on the bed”
“Hm?” I turn my head to face him furrowing my eyebrows.
“You fucking heard me Y/N, don’t be a fucking stubborn brat” Chris says coldly.
“O-okay” I obeyed hopping off his lap walking around to the bed and lying down resting myself on my elbows.
Chris walked over hovering over me between my legs and caressing my cheek with his thumb “Such a greedy fucking whore,” he chuckled softly “fishing for compliments from other people” he shook his head leaning down and colliding his lips with mine hungrily. He wrapped his hand around my throat applying just the right amount of pressure getting a soft moan out of me, sending an invitation to explore my mouth. While exploring my mouth his hand travels down my body yanking down the sleep shorts I walked around the house in all day making them bunch up around my ankles. He pulls away softly smirking down at me fully removing my underwear and the rest of my shorts throwing them across the room.
He settles between my legs using his finger and gliding it up and down my wet, aching pussy. “So fucking beautiful,” he says as his voice drops into a husk. He analyzes my face as he slowly glides his finger into me watching as my breath hitches. “And so fucking wet” he chuckled dipping his head down and kitty-licking my clit while pumping his finger in and out of me.
“O-oh s-s-shit Chris” i moan out “s-so fucking good”
He harshly sucks my clit taking it between his teeth while he adds a second finger into me curling his finger up and hitting that hard-to-reach spot.
My back arches off the mattress watching him enjoy every inch of me in his mouth. he began pumping faster into me making my moans turn into whimpers “S-So f-fucking close” I breath out.
Chris groans against the taste of my arousal all over his mouth “Cum” he mutters diving into my pussy like his last meal, pumping faster in and out of me.
“CHRIS” I squeal finally snapping that knot in my abdomen all over his mouth and fingers. I sit up balancing my weight against my elbows looking at him and wiping his mouth against his forearm and undressing himself.
“The first one was free, you’re working for the next few” he grins beginning to take off his boxers as his aching, red cock.
My eyes widened “W-what?” I stuttered.
“You didn't think I was done with you, did you?” he comes now laying between my legs, his face just inches away from mine, and rubbing his cock through my sensitive folds.
I softly nodded batting my eyelashes at him. “Oh? Don't be so naive baby” he coos, continuing to rub his tip against my folds. “I'm far from done with you” his chuckle was almost sadistic, I'd never seen him like this but holy mother of pearl it was turning me on so fucking fast.
He aligned his cock with my entrance pushing his tip in slowly then pulling back out a couple of times, teasing my entrance, making me whine from the loss of contact. “You want it?” he says grabbing my chin and making me look at him.
I nodded violently stuffing my bottom lip out for him. “You beg for what you want Y/N” his voice turned husk.
“P-please Chris” I whined as his tip continued to push in and out of me.
“Please what, princess?” he glides his thumb over my bottom lip while giving me a faux sympathy look on his face.
“P-please fuck me, Chris,” I stated confidently swallowing a lump in my throat.
He chuckles before pushing his length farther into me “Such a pretty mouth, begging so nicely” he smirks fully bottoming out in me, making my eyes touch my brain.
"God you don't know how bad I missed fucking this little pussy of yours," Chris smirked. "That's right, princess. I want you until you see fucking stars. I won't even fucking stop if someone sees or hears. You're mine, understand? You're my little fuck toy," he husked.
I whimpered at his words. I'd never been more aroused than I was right then. He began to regain his fast pace, as I cried out in pleasure.
"Fuck, Chris!" I shouted. This seemed to turn Chris on even more as he thrust into me even harder, making my tits bounce.
"Chris, Chris, Chris," I moaned.
Chris grunted, leaned his head towards my neck, and latched his lips onto my soft skin. He took my skin in between his teeth and sucked forcefully.
"That's gonna leave a mark, Chris, stop," I Whined.
He pulled away and smirked. "I know, that's the point, you dirty little slut, I want people to see you belong to ME” his thrusts maintained a brutal pace while attacking my cervix.
“F-Fu-Fuckk” I stuttered as my legs began to shake around his torso. “Cl-Close” I choked out.
“No” his voice husked in my ear as his hand made a fist next to my head to support his weight and his harsh movements. “Do you deserve to cum?” he hummed in my ear.
“Y-yes p-lease, Chris” I begged between my moans.
“You Cum with me or not at all got it?” he grunts out sitting up and wrapping his hand around my throat and squeezing the sides just enough to make the pleasure more intensifying.
“Mhm,” I moaned out looking at him and giving him doe-eyes that I knew he couldn't resist.
“Nu-uh, words, understand?” he squeezed my throat a little harder.
“Y-Yes s-Sir” i wept, the pleasure of him repeatedly pounding my cervix and the way his veins popped out of his forearm while wrapped around my throat became almost uncontrollable, the knot in my stomach could burst at any moment now.
He smirked at my response “My greedy girl, just so pitiful, begging for that release,” he grunted “Hold it for a couple of seconds okay, beautiful? Can you do that for me?” he bit his lip removing his hand from my throat to brush the hair on my face away, smiling down at me.
“C-Cant” I shook my head squeezing my eyes shut as tears of overstimulation began forming at the corners of my eyes.
“Yes, you can pretty girl, I'm almost there alright? Just keep squeezing me so good baby” he moves his hand down my body slowly and agonizing down to my clit and toying with it while maintaining his attack on my pussy.
“FUCK” I squeal arching my back off the bed. My moans became whimpers as my makeup began to run from the tears now streaming down my face “C-Cum-Cumming” I let out a scream of pleasure as my orgasm hit me like 14 busses and I squirted all over him and everything else in the way.
“That's it,” he coos “Keep cumming for me, let it all out” he continued as his thrusts became sloppier chasing after his own release. 
“Such a good fucking girl for me baby,” he smiles as his last couple of thrusts in me painted my once pink walls a nice shade of white. He slowly pulls out of me being careful not to hurt me. “Let me clean you up yeah?” his smile made me smile back at him as he left quickly to his bathroom to grab a lukewarm washrag. He slowly drags it down my legs and carefully wipes my cum covered pussy making me wince “I know ma, I know” he coos throwing the rag into the pile of clothes we left on the floor.
“You okay?” he chuckled admiring my fucked-out expression.
“Mhm, I'm good” I smiled moving my body to face his
“I wasn't too rough on you was I?” he smiles moving my hair behind my ears.
“Honestly, you were perfect” I smiled leaning into his touch.
“I'm sorry I got a little possessive, I'm trying to get used to the whole ‘the public relationship’ type thing, I'm still used to keeping you my little secret,” he says softly kissing my forehead and pulling my body closer to his.
A pound at the door quickly broke up this once peaceful pillow talk moment “HEY FREAKS!” Nick yells “SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP” he continued before walking away from the door and slamming his own door.
Chris and I chuckled as I nuzzled my head into his chest. “Do you wanna watch Sponge Bob? Or gossip girl?” he says running his fingers through my hair
“Whatever you want” I smiled before fastly falling asleep wrapped in his arms.
Chris looked at me falling asleep on him smiled down at me shook his head, admiring how peaceful and soundly I slept intertwined with his own body.
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A/N PT2: GUYS IDK WHAT HORMONE MONSTER ATTACKED ME BUT LIKE I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS!! I love you all and i hope you all have a blessed and amazing day! 🩷
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crescenthistory · 12 days ago
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begging for a fic where regulus says “i love you” to reader for the first time and it FLOORS them bc reggie is not one to voice his feelings a lot, much less something as powerful as the feeling of love
listen, when i saw this ask i sat down and wrote this in ONE sitting, THANK you. you probably intended for this to be a scene at the beginning of a relationship, but i instead decided to psychoanalyse my poor darling reg for a few thousands of words and give him a patient partner. hope you'll forgive me lols<3
Words: 3k
Warnings: not proofread, the most ancient and noble black family trauma (including descriptions of abuse and neglect), gn!reader, black brothers angst and reconciliation, sunshine!reader, reader is very patient and understanding with regulus, kinda past bartylus, barty is a hugger here, reg pov so some spiraling, vague implied references to sex (so implied that i believe it's safe for minors, but just putting that out there)
on the tip of my tongue
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It’s not that Regulus didn’t love you. Quite the opposite, actually. 
It’s just that love had not been a spoken matter in his life until you barged into it. Love was implicit as much as it was hidden and reserved; something you grabbed greedily at while you had it and rationed carefully over the next few weeks or months, hoping to get by on it. 
For a long time, Regulus thought his mother loved him. She was strict and firm, but when he came to her for advice, she would give it and might even pat him on the cheek if he accepted what she had to say readily enough. He would hold his cheek afterwards and syphon the warmth left from her touch, wishing there was a way for it to stay with him forever.
When he got to Hogwarts and experienced true, unrestrained friendship he realised there was a way for it to stay with him forever – the other party just had to not withhold it. His cheek would be warm if the people who loved him kept holding, kept returning. With them, attention was not something he was occasionally graced with, it was always on him, within easy reach.
It took him a while, but Regulus eventually got used to the physical affection, at least from his friends. He came to expect it and lean into it, which in and of itself felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. There were hugs and pats on the back and tousled hair. There were pretend-scuffles on the quidditch field and the common room. There was that one term in third year where Barty decided he and Regulus simply must learn how to kiss and the boys spent most nights sneaking off into the empty common room and unskillfully, sloppily making out through kisses. There was that one night in fifth year where they picked it back up again. 
Still, with the hands-on approach to love that Barty and Dorcas had and infused into their little safe haven of a friend group, it remained unspoken. There was the occasional “mate” or the nicknames he brought with him from home – “Reg” was fine and while he did not much care for “Reggie”, he let it slide due to the affection it held. The closest they got to spoken love were the promises to fiercely protect each other, to kill and die by each other’s sides if must be. To beat the living daylights out of anyone who lays a finger on the other and then hex the pain to stay with them forever. An oath of loyalty was their "I love you".
Other than them, Sirius had been his one source of affection throughout his life, but as everything else in Grimmauld’s Place it had been quiet. 
Sirius was the perfect big brother, whether Regulus wanted to admit that or not. He held his hand when they crossed the street and held Regulus at night when he cried. Sirius taught him as much as he could, and though he occasionally was arrogant or impatient with his lessons, he didn’t give up on them. Regulus knew he loved Sirius at the very least, even if he had in more recent years questioned if that love was returned.
The problem with Sirius is that Regulus does not know of most of the affection the older boy showed him. Sirius insists that the two spent the majority of their first years attached at the hip, but Regulus struggles to remember much before the age of 12, which you had once told him he might want to look into with a professional at some point. To which Regulus emphasised the “at some point” more than the rest. So any hugs or touches or love Sirius showed him has been long since forgotten. Apart from the bed-sharing; Regulus remembers that vividly. Crawling into his older brother’s bed at night when he had nightmares, hoping Sirius could chase the monsters away. Regulus didn’t think he did it that often, but Sirius swore he once slept an entire three months solely in Sirius’ bed.
The most significant way Sirius loved Regulus, though, was through what he did for him, not to him, which Regulus did not himself see. He was such a good shield between their parents and Regulus that the young boy didn’t even realise the service he provided. Scoldings, blames and beatings – there was nothing Sirius did not take for Regulus.
If Regulus’ childhood was painful enough not to remember, he could not stand the thought of how Sirius’ must have been.
That is part of how he learned not to resent him for leaving Grimmauld’s Place – even that he did in part for Regulus. When left alone with an increasingly vexed Walburga Black, Regulus learnt quickly how severe some punishments can be. Consequently, he learned what Sirius had endured for him, how strong of a shield he had been. 
Sirius knew he could no longer withstand the weight of that house, so he left, in hopes that he could be a better protector for Regulus from afar. Finding a good home full of warmth and smiles, and coaxing Regulus into joining him there under safer circumstances than he himself had. When the two had their infamous heart-to-heart, it was Sirius choking on the words “better protector” that finally broke Regulus – the first time he had cried in front of his older brother since they were little.
Now he knew well that Sirius loved him, beyond most words. And the things they said to each other during that talk where he convinced Regulus to leave might even mean more than a simple “I love you”. Still, it remained unsaid. 
It was simply not tradition for Regulus Black to speak them.
Then, he met you. 
What was that thing James always says? Game-changer? You were that for him.
Somehow, affection just came pouring out of you like you were overflowing with it and just had to share it. With your friends and your family, even strangers – it just came naturally to you. And when Regulus entered your orbit through his reunion with Sirius, you more than happily let that extend to him as well.
It absolutely floored him. 
The first time you said “I love you” to him was long before you got together or before he even had the nerve to actively flirt with you. You ran into him in the hallway and stopped him, trying to squeeze as much conversation as you could out of him in the few minutes you both had between classes. It was evident you were soaking up his presence as if it was truly enjoyable, and it warmed something in him he was only able to name later on. When you had to run, you ended the conversation with a casual “okay, see you later, I love you, bye!”. Regulus was left gaping. Nearly ended up late to McGonagall’s class because of you. 
Saying it as a form of temporary goodbye reminded him of how he used to ration his mother’s touches, it carried him until the next time he saw you. Except next time with you was dinner later the same day, and then breakfast and then hanging out in the library. He never had to wait long, never had to go wanton.
The love kept flowing freely from you in all the ways he had gotten used to over the years and then many more – physical touch, quality time, acts of services, words of affirmation, you checked off the whole list. He began calling you soleil, French for sunshine because of how you shone with that love for everyone. It was a slip of the tongue one day, and when he saw how it made you smile, he just kept calling you that.
With such a loving and lovely creature, Regulus thought he couldn’t help but fall in love with you; he was not at fault for it, you were entirely to blame with your loveliness.
His voice had shook some when he first confided in Sirius about it. The older boy had smiled fondly and joked, “That was not quite what I meant when I told you to make yourself at home with my friends, but I’m glad you’re comfortable.” Regulus argued he in no way shape or form felt comfortable with the emotion, but Sirius would have none of it.
His voice shook even more the first time he told you how lovely you look today, but unlike Sirius, you didn’t notice. You smiled and returned the sentiment with ease. He realised then that he would likely not be able to talk himself into a relationship with you, given his lack of skill and your lack of deducing any intent behind sweet words, so he went the Regulus-route as Sirius had called it.
Meaning, he pursued you through quiet, unwavering loyalty and company, attaching himself at your hip for as long as you seemed comfortable with it. When he realised there was no limit on the amount of time you were willing to spend with him, he went further. 
Regulus went to hold your hand for the first time in Hogsmeade. Looking back on it, you both laughed at how he spent ten whole minutes inching his hand closer and closer to yours, practically holding his breath, awaiting a rejection or harsh response. Ever so slowly, he interlinked his pinky with yours. An opening both for you to take it further or cast him aside, whichever you pleased he would accept. The beaming smile you flashed as you looked up at him then, lacing the rest of your fingers together tightly, never left his mind for long.
Hand holding led to walking arm in arm which led to prolonged hugs which finally, finally found you both sitting in the Astronomy tower, kissing with large, dumb smiles on your faces. The same night you had your first kiss Regulus surmises you probably had your first hundred kisses.
Now, laid in bed beside you, two years into dating, Regulus could not imagine not being comfortable around you. He smiles fondly when he thinks of the boy he was before you decided to simply drown him in affection, but he does not relate to him anymore. There is no place he would rather be than here by your side, in the flat he purchased for the two of you straight out of Hogwarts – the last time he can remember panicking before asking you to take the next step in your relationship – playing idly with your fingers as you hummed some melody he could not place. It felt right.
The one thing that had remained the same throughout your relationship, both before and after it turned romantic, was that you overflowed with “I love you”s and he had not said it once.
You had talked about it before, of course you had. Sirius had given Regulus a stern talking to about communication when you first started going out, unwilling for his baby brother and friend to get hurt by their own stupidity. 
“I don’t know if I can say it,” Regulus had said then. “It sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know how.”
“It’s a good thing you don’t need to then,” you had said so simply, through a smile that made his heart spin happily. “I know what I need to know. I like saying my truth because that’s how I am; but I am more than happy to accept you showing yours because that’s how you are. And I love you as you are.”
Regulus had known in his bones that you meant it, and that made it all the more sweeter. He attacked you with kisses after that, relishing in the giggles it drew from you.
“If it ever changes, will you tell me?” Regulus asked after, when you quieted down in each other’s arms. “If you ever need to hear it?”
You had said something about how you “do hear it”, always with your metaphors and abstract ways of viewing things. When Regulus, ever the pragmatist, had insisted on getting an answer to his question because “you know what I mean”, you had promised to tell him. You never did need to because it never changed for you.
It was Regulus it changed for.
In your shared bed, your hand in his as he followed its outline and your bare legs entangled, something deep in him shifted. You were sleepy and content above him, reading some paperback he borrowed you ages ago that you only picked up once you moved in together and all your books were in the same place anyway. He was laying half on top of your chest and staring at you with what had to be love in his eyes because that’s what he felt in his soul. He had been staring for the past half an hour, not even realising it, lost in his train of thought.
He had expected that when he would finally say it, there would be some grand reason, some special moment. Something that would cause that shift, something that required him to voice what he felt and you knew.
There wasn’t; it was just you and him, and he was so unbelievably happy and comfortable. He had tried microdosing love and you ended up giving him a lifetime supply instead. You were everything.
“Sol?” The question drawled out of him, mouth ahead of his brain but heart running miles before both. 
You looked up with a smile, stopping your absentminded humming. “Yeah, love?”
His eyes crinkled at the corners and he spent another minute just looking at your face. You let him, indulgent and sweet as ever.
“I love you.”
You froze. The smile remained on your face, the same contentedness there, but your eyes widened and your hand on his back stopped mid-circle. “What?” you whispered.
He kept staring at you with a smile, almost finding humour in your increasingly shocked expression, though some old part of him remained alert for rejection. Which makes no sense, she tells you it every day, he reminded himself. Still, old habits die hard.
You decided to trade one question for another upon his silence and your mental recalibration. “Why?”
“Why?” Regulus repeated through a laugh, as if the thought was incredulous. “Have you met yourself, soleil? Have you seen what you’ve done to me? I’ve always loved you.”
You sat up quickly at that, jostling Regulus up with you, though he was less graceful in the change of position as he did not anticipate it. You looked at him with the same wide-eyed expression. “Not what I meant,” you said then.
Regulus opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn’t sure what.
“But you didn’t have to,” you blurted out before he could. Rushed, almost frantic. “Don’t say it because you think you have to.”
Regulus furrowed his brows in confusion before they cleared up in realisation of your fear. He shifted to sit closer to you, practically pulling you between his legs, and grasped both your hands softly. They had been hovering between your forms, as if over an injury you did not know how to treat. Slowly, he dragged his thumbs back and forth over your knuckles. “Amour, soleil,” he whispered, emphasising the words with all his might. “I know I don’t have to. I wanted to. I want to, it feels right. I– I love you.”
The second time, the phrase flowed more freely from his tongue. Easily. He found he quite liked the taste.
You opened and closed your mouth twice, eyes flickering all over his face as if to deduce whether you trusted his words. Then, ever so slowly, he saw that smile he loves so much begin to grow over your lips, that looked increasingly more kissable to him.
“Yeah?” you asked him breathily through your oncoming grin.
“Yeah, baby,” he whispered. “I love you. I always have, you know. But I felt like saying it now.”
Your laughter was almost watery as you squeezed his hands in yours. “I do know. And I love you,” you asserted clearly, as if there had ever been any doubt.
“So I’ve heard.” The cheeky remark was the last thing that left Regulus’ lips before he moved forward and captured yours.
Just like that first kiss in the Astronomy Tower, one led to possibly a hundred more. Giggles and sighs all mixed together into what Regulus was proud to call his life.
A life with you. A life of love.
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mercurycft · 14 days ago
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𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑 — 𝐀𝐖𝐅𝐂
## reader x awfc !!
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hi all!! finally releasing this, which is in honour of jonas finally pissing off away from our girls and our team! i hope you enjoy! love always, RGx
warnings: angsty team x management arguments, mentions of mental health!
3.6k words.
“i’m sure the team will be buzzing with joy this evening after tonight’s win, but how are the girls and yourself taking the recent and surprising departure of a lifelong gunner?”
“yeah, as you said we’re all pleased with the result tonight - it was a great match with a good side and i think the score reflects the determination we took onto the pitch with us.” you watch as beth pauses, like she is searching for words that will do her feelings justice. “she was the best of us, not just the team but the best of us and our friends. i think she was and is destined for great things, but life and people unfortunately happened to get in the way. but i’m happy, we’re all, happy for her.”
you've known beth long enough to know when she is lying and it pains you to realise how the tone of her voice drops at the mention of you. it stings momentarily, but you shake it off and allow pride to take over you as the camera pans to the rest of the team taking their victory lap.
you find yourself smiling absentmindedly at your phone, having sat through the entire match with your eyes glued to your phone - watching your girls on the pitch from your home, instead of beside them for the first time in years. your stomach filled with a cocktail of emotions that you can’t seem to process at this very moment. a toxic mixture of sadness and despair, twisted and twined with anger and hatred for what the situation had become.
its been two weeks since your statement went out, three since you made the decision and four since the argument. in an ideal world, it wouldn’t have gone this way - you would’ve stomached your feelings for longer and swallowed your bubbling anger, bit your tongue and carried on as usual. but for some reason, you just couldn’t.
------
1 month ago.
a 3-0 win should be celebrated. it should fill you with joy and overwhelming excitement - but it doesn't. instead, it fills you with nothing but anger and resentment for the club you once loved, you used to love. in place of congratulations and pats on the back, is a lecture. a plethora of critiques and corrections despite the effort and conviction everyone had shown.
you and the rest of the girls stand huddled in a group in the locker room, stood in an agonising silence. your hair is still wet, from the sickly british rain that decided to visit, your face still tinted red and your chest still heaving.
you tune out to jonas' voice, watching absentmindedly as he paces ahead of the group - volume above his usual decibel as he tears into the group, pushing further and further. you don't listen, allowing your mind to wander. no one dares talk back, instead choosing to take his words. you, however, fail to be as nonchalant as them - swallowing the bubble of anger in your throat and biting your tongue to the best of your ability.
your mind is brought back into the tiled room at the snap of your name from the front of the group. you look up to be met with jonas' eyes on you - his eyebrows raised and seemingly awaiting an answer. "what?" you mumble through gritted teeth, eyes locked on his.
"do you care to fill the rest of us in on what is so important besides my feedback right now?"
you shake your head, matched with a sarcastic looking, sickly-sweet smile and lift your hand top gesture towards him. "oh please, carry on."
"i dont appreciate your attitude," he quips back, screwing his facial features together, feining disgust.
"whatever," you scoff, rolling your eyes and peeling yourself away from the bodies beside you - now overly aware of their eyes on you.
"i'm out." pause. "i'm going to leave, and have a glass of wine and celebrate a fucking win." you turn away from them, too busy to take off your kit and instead scrunching your clothes and belongings into your kit bag. "which by the way, is what we should all be doing! instead of standing here taking shit because he didn't like how we were moving on the pitch!"
there was a shift from him, and a deep red tint crept up his neck as he shot daggers at you from across the tiles. “i do everything for this team! maybe once in a while, it would be nice for you to do the same if you think you know better! please, do tell us, what makes you think you have done anything of significance for this team? for arsenal!”
it changed, then. the small shred of sympathy you had, the small shred of guilt - gone. ripped from inside you and splattered across the walls of your home stadium locker room. the girls around you seemed shocked at his words, confused and unsure of what to expect next.
you paused. taking a deep breath and halting your shoving of clothes and shoes into your bag, and turning to face him directly through the sea of red and white kits in front of you.
“what do i do, for this team?” the question sounded almost broken, like you couldn’t actually believe he was playing this card. you searched for the answer deep within yourself for a few seconds, allowing the hurt to build in your throat and fuel the fire burning deep behind your eyes and in the pit of your stomach. your eyes flicked over each of the faces now looking at you and a small smile teased at the corners of your lips as you looked at their concerned expressions.
after a few more moments of silence, you inhaled deeply and began. “i’ve given my life, to this club. to this team. i put in the work, i trained day and night in the academy, until i was enough for the senior team. and when i made it here, i made a difference. i stepped up when kim was out, when leah was out. when laura first moved here, i took her in.” you paused, taking another shaky breath, cautious of the tears held back by nothing more than your water line. “i don’t expect you to give a shit. but whilst you were too busy tearing this team down. katie for her aggression, kim for her captaining style, leah for her rehabilitation, viv for her performance, beth for her drive, lia for training hours and every other fucking player in this building. i was building them back up, i was trying to make this right.”
silence fell over the room, and you shook your head. “im done.” you all but whispered, slinging your bag over your shoulder and moving towards the large doors leading away from the locker room. “i can’t do this anymore, this club is my home - and i will not watch you tear it down.” you shoved the door, a single teare slipping down your cheek the second you heard the door swing back on its latch and close again. you didn't stop to say goodbye to the familiar faces in the building, instead, with your head down and focused on the floor beneath you - you walked straight into the carpark, got into your car and drove home.
as you drove away, the weight of your decision settled in your chest. you couldn't believe it had come to this, that you had walked away from the team you had poured your heart and soul into. all the emotions you had been burying for weeks and weeks on end were now uncontrollable, tears streaming as you contemplated your actions but you knew you couldn't bear to stay in an environment where your efforts were belittled and unappreciated.
after a 40 minute drive, you found solace and refuge in the familiar walls of your apartment. the silence enveloped you as you sank onto the sofa, reaching for your phone. you hestitated in pulling it out of your bag, unsure of what may be waiting for you when you unlock it.
but still, you did, heaving a deep breath when your screen lit up with a message from beth. her words expressing concern and confusion about what had transpired in the locker room. as you read beth's message, a mix of emotions washed over you - relief that someone cared enough to reach out, but also a pang of guilt for leaving without saying a proper goodbye. to her, to any of the girls in the room. you quickly typed out a response, skipping over the details of your motives - instead opting for a light hearted message, apologising for your abrupt exit and apologising for not controlling your temper.
minutes turned into hours as you sat there, staring at your phone, the weight of your actions heavy on your shoulders. you hadn’t moved, still sat in your jacket and kit, boots still tied to your feet. the sound of a familiar notification pinged through the room - like it had been doing on repeat since that first message from beth, and you saw more messages popping up from your now ex-teammates.
------
1 week later - 3 weeks ago.
the days blurred into a week as you settled into a routine without the training sessions, team meetings, and the constant thoughts of upcoming matches that used to consume your time. you found freedom in the quiet moments alone, the weight of expectation now lifted off your shoulders, a sense of liberation starting to bloom within you. you finally felt like a person, not just a player.
you had been speaking to the girls everyday, each of them keeping you up to date on life behind the scenes of the club. the drama and tension seemed to have escalated in your absence, with rumors swirling about disputes between jonas and some of the other players. your decision to leave had sent shockwaves through the team, but it also seemed to have sparked a newfound sense of unity among everyone.
it was a miserable london evening when you got your first unexpected visit, darkness just creeping across the clouds when a knock at the door interrupted your law and order binge.
to your surprise, standing on your doorstep was leah, with a hesitant smile on her face.
a flood of questions and uncertainties raced through your mind as you stood frozen in the doorway, unsure of what to say or how to react to her unexpected visit.
"hey," leah began, her voice soft yet laced with underlying tension. "uh, can I come in?"
you hesitated for a moment, the inner turmoil evident on your face as you considered whether to welcome her inside. finally, you stepped back, wordlessly opening the door wider to allow her entry. leah entered cautiously, taking in the familiar surroundings of your apartment with a mix of nostalgia and apprehension.
there was a palpable tension in the air as you both stood in the living room, the silence stretching between you like a taut wire. you shared the quiet for a second or two before leah spoke up, her words carefully measured. "i know things have been rough lately... for all of us, you especially, i wanted to come here and talk, clear the air maybe?”
you studied her face, searching for any hint of insincerity, but all you found was genuine concern etched in the furrow of her brow. with a sigh, you nodded, gesturing towards the couch for her to sit. as she settled on the edge of the cushion, you perched on the arm beside her, like you used to.
"i just... i wanted to say that i'm sorry. sorry for not speaking up before, for not standing by you when things blew up. i let my own fears and doubts cloud my judgment, and i should have been there for you, we all should have been there for you."
her words hung heavy in the air, mingling with the unspoken tension that had plagued your relationship for months. you could sense the sincerity in her voice, the raw vulnerability that she rarely showed to anyone.
“i appreciate it, but it wasn’t your fight, le.”
“your fights are our fights, you’re one of us, you always have been. you always will be”
you gave her a half smile in response, and moved closer to her on the sofa - opening your arms to her. she mirrored your smile, allowing your arms to wrap around her and hers around you.
after a few moments, you pulled away, looking at her directly. “thank you, for coming round. and for looking after me for all these years. but i think,” you paused, sniffling and turning your attention to the fabric of the sofa below you. “i think its time,”
she nodded along with you, taking a deep breath before smiling at you. “if that’s what you want to do, then do it, and we will support you. i promise.”
“i don’t know how to tell the girls, i haven’t seen any of them since i left. i don’t want them to find out through social media,” you rambled.
“we’re all meeting at mine tomorrow, why dont you come along? i know they want to see you, and i think you deserve a night to relax with us - gunner style.” you share a laugh at her comment, agreeing to see the girls. a small shred of anxiety tore through the depths of your stomach, but you shook it off; determined to do the right thing.
the next day seemed to fly by, seeming to disappear from you as you spent the hours doing odd jobs - attempting to distract yourself from the uneasiness gnawing at your insides.
now, you find yourself outside leah’s flat. she said 7, but you underestimated the traffic at this time in this part of the city - so you’re late, as per usual, and composing of yourself on the door step. after a deep breath, you raise your hand to knock.
once, twice, then the door flies open. a smiley young aussie waiting to greet you, her arms immediately around you and pulling you tight to her frame. “jesus, i missed you,” she whispers into your shoulder. “i missed you too, k.” you pull apart and she grabs your hand, pulling you from the now closed door and into the living area. it’s littered with everyone you know and love.
they greet you like nothing has changed, arms wrapped around you and whispers, comments and remarks of support. you slip into the group like you never left.
after you’ve eaten, and have returned to the living area, you stand up - allowing everyone’s eyes to fall on you. you take a deep breath, smiling at them then looking down at your thumbs. you twiddle them and enterlock your hands as you search for the best way to say it.
“i wanted you to hear it from me, that next week, a statement will be released. a statement explaining my temporary contract termination from arsenal. i love you all, like my family. i don’t want any of you to feel like any of this is your fault, but i just feel like i’m at a different point in my life right now - a point where my views, and the clubs managment’s views no longer align. i can’t jeopardise my mental health, for people who can’t seem to put me, or my friends, first.”
you say it in one, your mouth and words moving faster than your brain can comprehend. you finish with a shallow breath, looking up to the group. they take it well, a few of them shedding tears at the offical loss of their friend and teammate, others hugging you and sharing comforting smiles. you know it needs to happen, but this is the part that kills you. leaving behind your family, your people.
the night draws to an end and you begin saying your goodbyes, promising to keep in touch and arranging plans to meet up soon. as you start making your way out of the room and towards the door, kim pulls you aside. you can’t read her expression, a sickening mixture of sadness and happiness for you.
“i’ll miss you,” she says softly, reaching out to squeeze your hand. “but I know you’re doing what’s best for you. just don’t be a stranger, okay?”
you nod, feeling a lump form in your throat as you hug her tightly one last time before heading out the door.
------
1 week later - 2 weeks ago.
3pm. your phone dings with a notification from the arsenal woman’s football club instagram and app, giving you and thousands of others the news of a new and important post. you hover your finger over the notification, hestitating.
you open it eventually, propping your phone up as the video loads onto the screen. you cringe at the sight of you, expectant of whats to come.
“hi gooners, it’s so nice to sit down and speak to you. this year marks my 15th year at arsenal, if we’re taking it all the way back to my first academy scouting when i was 8. i have nothing my fondness and admiration for this club, these people and this community. to be apart of this team and to watch the growth of woman’s football has been an honour and a pleasure i will forever be grateful for. when i think back on my years here, i have nothing but happy memories. memories of friends, of wins and of losses, of meeting fans and selling out stadiums. some of these things we never believed would be possible, but you, every last one of you, have made it possible. after 15 years of my life dedicated to the game, i think it’s time to take a break. temporarily and indefinitely, i will be taking a step back from the club. thank you all for your unwaivering support, it means the world to me. this is a special club, which remains my home. but my health and wellbeing needs to be my number one priority. thank you.”
you watch as the video comes to an end, and the messages, comments and likes begin. you switch off your phone after a few minutes, tucking it under a cushion on your sofa and resuming your show - tuning out the constant buzzing.
------
present day.
you watch until the live recording of the match ends, you watch all of the post-match interviews, with nothing other than a smile on your face. when the stream finally does end, you feel like you can breathe again, switching to your messages app and drafting a text into the groupchat to congratulate the girls on their win. you press send, then abandon your phone beside you somewhere on the sofa. paying it no mind and you lean back into the comfort of the cushions and pillows surrounding you.
as you sink deeper into the softness, you let out a content sigh, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. you close your eyes and let the sounds of the television fade into the background, relishing in the quiet of your own thoughts.
you dozed off, allowing the safety of sleep to engulf you for a few hours. you lay peacefully until the doorbell rings, jolting you awake. you groan in annoyance, wondering who could possibly be bothering you at this hour. you reach for your phone as you stand, 9pm. reluctantly, you shuffle away from the sofa and make your way to the door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
as you swing open the door, you are met with a pair of familiar faces that brings an instant smile to your lips. beth and viv, stand on your doorstep with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"surprise!" beth exclaims, holding up a bottle of wine and a bunch of flowers. "we come bearing gifts. can we come in?"
you step aside, allowing them to enter, still slightly taken aback by their unexpected visit. they both breeze past the threshold, only stopping for a moment to give you a hug before making themselves at home on your sofa.
“i didn’t know you were back in london, viv!” you exclaim, watching her set the flowers on the counter. “and shouldn’t you be out celebrating?” you ask beth with a laugh, shutting the door and joining them on the sofa.
“there’s no where we would rather be, mijn liefje.”
its the later end of midnight when you all start to tire, spread across the sofa and floor with eyes barely open and focusing on the movie playing.
“do you guys want to just stay here tonight? i don’t wan’t you driving home tired.” you say through a yawn, stretching your back out and turning to look at the both of them cuddled up beside you. both of their eyes closed and chests rising peacefully. you smile to yourself, moving to grab a blanket from the basket beside you and cover them both up. you switch off the tv, turn off the big light and make your way to your bedroom.
it isn’t long before you’re asleep too.
------
the next morning you wake to a persistant buzzing sound, your phone rattling on your bedside table. notifications from twitter and instagram flood your lockscreen, along with messages from the arsenal groupchat and from distant friends.
your eyes are just barely open when you reach for it, giving your eyes a moment to adjust before looking at the screen. you swing yourself off the bed, feet finding the cold of the floor as you pad through the flat until you find beth and viv.
they’re awake, both sharing the same expression as they look at you in the doorway between the two rooms.
you begin to read from your phone. “we can confirm that jonas eidevall has resigned from his position as head coach of our women’s first team and leaves us with immediate effect.”
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