#i might finally play persona 4 when i finish it
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the silent realms in skyward sword have no business being as nerve wracking as they are
#this game is taking me so much longer than the others#not in hours but in months#because i keep putting it off for weeks at a time#also i suck so bad at the controls#thankfully i've had an easier time lately but my god lmao#anyway!! i'm inching closer to the end#i got nayru's silent realm on the first try and yes i had to watch a video of someone else doing it#because farore's silent realm took multiple tries and i was so frustrated i almost cried#personal#i might finally play persona 4 when i finish it#and then probably finally accept i'm never getting wind waker and twilight princess hd for switch#so i'll bring out my gamecube and wii and finally play those#begging atlus to put p3r on switch like PLEASE 🙏#yes i played persona 3 for the (muffled speaking) time earlier this year yes i'm dying to play it again already#and i'm so used to my switch pro controller that i struggled with my ps4 controller when i started tlou (which i never got back to rip)#which means i will probably just get persona 5 royal on switch for christmas instead of playing the vanilla version i already own for ps4#courtney plays zelda
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Plot Twist
Breaking News (Part 5/Final)
(Max Verstappen X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Formula 1
Requested: Nope (I had an idea, Mr. Krabs)
Warnings: cheating mentioned, toxic parents, overall hella fluffy (HERE is a link to the full playlist if you want to hear them all in a row otherwise each individual song is linked later in the story.)
Pronouns: They/them
W.C. 1655
Chapter Summary: The much-anticipated album drop of 'Plot Twist' by Y/n L/n leads to an unexpected plot twist in the end.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
(^Came from 2 pics on Pinterest)
<- Previous Part
July 24, 2024
~
It is release day, October 16. Plot Twist dropped at midnight, and so far, it’s been received very well! Neither of my previous albums had this much attention, so it was honestly shocking seeing my name and album trending on Twitter.
I was busy in the kitchen, eating some lunch, and avoiding looking at the feedback. I knew that I would waste the entire day reading every little critique the fans had. My publicist knew that I would try that, so they were holding my phone hostage as they worked on planning a live stream. It was a tradition at this point; day of release, I would livestream listening to every song and telling the story or answering questions between them.
I was just finishing up my food when I felt one arm around my waist as another stole one of my crisps. “Hey! That’s mine.”
“It’s one, you’ll live,” Max whispered, leaning onto my back to place a kiss on my cheek after he at the chip. “It’s not like you’ll starve.”
“I’ll tell your nutritionist that you ate a pack of crisps,” I joked.
“It was one!” He complained, turning my head to connect our lips in a few small kisses. When we separated, he whispered, “I’ll buy you more if you’re that concerned.”
“Alright lovebirds, I need to steal the singer,” my manager interrupted the moment.
“I’ll be right over,” Max joked.
“Ha ha, Max,” my manager replied sarcastically. “Are you going to be beside them or behind the camera?”
“I’ll stay back,” he answered, already pulling a chair to sit behind the camera that was pointed at the couch. “It’s your moment.”
“Thanks, liefde (love),” I said, taking my spot on the couch. “Let me know when you start it.”
“If you’re ready, I can start it now?” My manager asked, receiving a thumbs up from me as I fixed my appearance one last time. They pointed to me, signaling that I was live, so I smiled and switched on my stage persona.
“Hello everybody!” I greeted, scanning through the messages flying on the screen. “It’s everyone’s favorite day; release day! I’m going to play my new album, Plot Twist, which is available now on all platforms, and answer your questions about each song. Let’s get started with the first single.”
Track 1-Ava
“Everyone knows this backstory, but something you might not know is that Max helped me with the melody on this one too,” I laughed as Max groaned in the background.
“I helped on basically every song. I should get royalties.”
“I think you’ll live, Mr. Third-Most-Paid-Sportsman-Under-25,” I mocked.
“Oh fuck off,” He laughed, moving to play the next song.
Track 2-Seven
“Again, another very popular single, “I chuckled, “Not gonna lie, was almost titled ‘Fling’ or ‘Freak Out’, but Max thought 'Seven' was more ominous.”
“I did not! Stop putting words in my mouth!”
“Denial doesn't look good on you, schat (darling).”
“I’m not in denial,” He opposed. “I just said ‘Seven’ sounded better than ‘Fling’ or ‘Freak Out’.”
Track 3-Bigger Person
“Think we all know who this is directed at,” I sighed with a look directly at the camera, “But actually, it was a combination of the breakup and my personal problems with my family, and this is one of my most vulnerable songs. I’ve been working on it for a long time, and it is one of my favorites on the album. I think I did the idea justice, and I hope some of my fans find comfort in this song.”
Track 4-Flowers
“Flowers is another very close-to-home song. I used to have a huge fear of commitment, and with my ex, the very first thing he did was introduce me to his family by saying he would marry me,” I admitted, remembering the details of the night I met the Leclercs. Now, I have no contact with Charles, but his brothers and Maman still text me every so often. Arthur actually called me to tell me how much he loved the album earlier today. I smiled at the memories before continuing. “That actually didn’t drive me away as it normally would have, so I felt safe and comfortable with him right away. Maybe that’s why I put up with everything for so long. And anytime there was a big fight between us, instead of talking it out and resolving it, he would get me red roses. It was always an apology, and I can’t look at red roses the same anymore.”
“For everyone always asks why I get them carnations, daisies, or dahlias, this is why,” Max spoke up. “I’m the man that treats you right.”
“Yes, yes you do, Maxie,” I laughed, looking over at him. “I love you. Now, next song!”
Track 5-Somebody to You (Acoustic)
“When I realized that I loved Max, I couldn’t get him off my mind at all. I knew I wanted to be someone important to him, but I didn’t want to be overbearing and make him think it was a rebound,” I explained quickly. “However, even as a kid, I knew I would be with him because we were just always close like that.”
“They came to me whenever they needed support, and same for me with them,” Max elaborated, “We were just always close like that.”
Track 6-18
“It started when I told Max that I loved him for the first time at the Austin Grand Prix last year. He responded immediately saying he loved me since we were 18 before either of us actually understood love. It all just flowed from that moment. Max was actually able to help me on some of the lyrics for this song, but I promised I wouldn’t say what verses he wrote apart from the obvious.”
“Apart from the obvious? Really?” He laughed.
“Y’know, if you’re going to be so vocal during the stream, why don’t you just come on camera?” I challenged, knowing he didn’t want to be on the stream, but he was acting too involved for someone who didn’t want to be here.
“I’m fine here, thank you. Onto the next one.”
Track 7-That Part
“This is our story in a song,” I sighed as I made eye contact with Max, him winking at me, causing me to smile and drop my head. “ I jokingly told my friends and family that I would date Max at some point when we were like 8, so the end was kind of a ‘haha told you so’ to everyone who said I was lying. It was actually a surprise to Max, and he didn’t know I was writing this. When I played this for him the first time, he cried, but he loved it. I hear him singing it every so often, sometimes it’s in English and sometimes in Dutch, but either way, it makes me happy that he loves it. It means I did our love story justice.”
Track 8-Eternally Yours
“Max and I wrote this together. We wanted a song for our wedding, so we poured everything we had into this song. I also pulled in my friends, Chris and Ricky, to write with us. Chris and Ricky are masterminds when it comes to writing beautiful melodies with strong meanings, so I knew they would be the perfect people to collaborate with. If you know their band, you’d know that their more heartfelt songs like Fatal and Sinematic were written by these two,” I said, going onto a short tangent about my friends and co-writers. Then I remembered that many of my listeners don’t listen to them so I said, “Shameless plug here, check out their band, Motionless in White if Eternally Yours is your favorite from the album! They’ve got new music coming soon, but you didn’t hear that from me. They’re actually covering this on that album but with a metal twist.”
As soon as I saw the chat explode, I knew I messed up somewhere. I looked at the messages and found one that said, “WEDDING?!” I knew I just outed that we were engaged by accident. “Well, cat’s out of the bag everyone. Max proposed when he heard ‘That Part’ for the first time.”
My manager let out a loud laugh as they read one of the comments. I looked at them skeptically, so they said, “Chat wants Max to reenact his proposal.”
“Say less,” Max joked to himself as he walked from the other side of the camera to kneel in front of me.
“What are you doing? I thought you didn’t want to be on camera,” I laughed, moving my hands to mess with his hair. He started shaking his head to get my hands away from the strands as he pulled out a box.
“I planned this to be a little more romantic than you jokingly messing up my hair,” He chuckled, using his other hand to fix it. “Can’t really back out now with hundreds of thousands of fans watching, now can I?” He reached out to grab my left hand as my free hand to hide my red face. “I think there’s only one thing left to say, wil je mij voor eeuwig de jouwe laten zijn (Well you let me be eternally yours)?”
“Altijd schat (Always darling),” I whispered as I pulled him in for a kiss as he pulled the ring out to place it onto my left ring finger. “That was pretty close to the first time.”
“Minus you messing with my hair, and you cried a lot more the first time,” He chuckled, sitting next to me for the end of the stream.
“At least now I can wear my ring in public,” I said before leaning in to kiss him one last time. I pulled away as my manager announced their presence again, causing us both to laugh. “Ok guys, that’s the stream. We will see you at the next album stream! Bye!”
~
October 16, 2024
~~~
Fin <3 (unless y’all got ideas for more. I’m open)
~~~~~
© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen#charles leclerc#max x reader#charles x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#bad268 breaking news#part 5#bad268#ship268#thing268
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May I please request headcanons for Naoto, Yu, and Kanji reacting to their S/O having anger issues and snapping when a bully goes too far?
author's note: So, hi y'all! i've had quite a year, i'll make a post later. I wanted to clear out the one or two things I had already finished in my WIP folder, though, so this is my return for now.
rating: teen
fandom: persona 4
pairing: shirogane naoto x gn!reader, narukami yu x gn!reader, tatsumi kanji x gn!reader
word count: 1336
summary: you stand up to your bullies! wish i was this brave when i was in high school and college LOL
Naoto Shirogane
For months, Naoto has heard story upon story about how you have been putting up with crap from a group of people in your club. It’s all endless, from how they give you backhanded compliments about your skills to them “accidentally” giving you the broken equipment and watching you fail over and over again for their amusement.
Honestly, you weren’t even aware of half of the incidents being their fault, Naoto had to be the one to sneak into your club room to investigate and find that your stuff was being tampered with in the first place. She absolutely hated breaking the news to you, but she knew she had to tell you the truth. What wasn’t expected, however, was the pure rage that shot through your eyes. Naoto thought there might be sadness, maybe even tears if you were particularly emotionally vulnerable at that moment, but this was so unlike you. “Let me handle it,” is what you told her. She kept her eyes on you from then on.
Which is exactly why she caught the beginning of the incident the next day over lunch. A leader of your club struck up a conversation with you at your desk, and Naoto immediately noticed you were snippy with them. It wasn’t until they dealt a snide comment, however, that you slammed your hands on your desk, sending your empty bento flying to the floor and catching the attention of every student in the room.
What came out of your mouth next could be described by Naoto as… needlessly vulgar. You tore into the leader, listing off bullying incident after incident in cruel detail, as well as what it said about the leader and their deepest insecurities that they actually did those things. It wasn’t for a few moments until Naoto realized that she had helped you put that list together (...sans emotional damage, of course) herself if you ever decided you wanted to go to the principal with the information. Oh, dear, she would think. I really should put a stop to this.
While you were in the process of tearing the club member down with a snide smirk, talking about how “their efforts will only set their own club performance and university admissions back” and “if they wanted attention so badly, well now they’ve got it undivided from the entire room”, Naoto took a hold of your wrist and dragged you out of the room, gently sliding the door shut.
Your breathing haggard from anxiety, she would drag you to a barren corner and tentatively hug you for a long time before pulling back and placing her hands on your shoulders, suggesting with a sigh: “I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself, but next time do not use my data for your vigilante justice? Please?”
Yu Narukami
The last week of school was rough for everyone, but particularly you. On top of winter semester finals, you had to deal with a… let’s say, cast of characters that leeched on to whatever insecurity you radiated and made it as much of their problem as it was yours. Underhanded compliments, disguising random rude gifts as acts of kindness… Yu especially hated it when they played you into thinking they were your close friends. Couldn’t you see that the Investigation Team was more supportive of you than they could ever be? Couldn’t you see that he was trying his best to lift you up when all they wanted to do was bring you down?
But Yu isn’t about forcing people into their decisions. As much as he has a soft spot for you, he’s going to let you figure this one out yourself, of course with his own support. More times than he could count, Yu listened to your suspicions with an open ear and a sympathetic face, always reminding you of your positive traits. It was the only thing he could think of that would help, but your sorrow turned to anger slowly. Almost too slow for him to notice.
He’ll be clued in real quickly, though, when he sees you flinging a tray of “food” at a group of people crowded around you on the school roof. He’ll be shocked - Yu’s never seen you get violent with anything but Shadows. He seriously thought you didn’t have a mean bone in your body. However, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pride for his partner standing up for themselves. Maybe, you could hold back on the string of curses that flow from your mouth, though!
After this event, when the bullies run off covered in whatever mystery substance they had placed in your lunch box, Yu is there to sit beside you as the weight of your actions hit you.
“I… I just threw that shit at them,” you murmured to yourself, barely registering Yu’s presence beside you.
“You stood up for yourself, he clarified, just sitting down to wrap an arm around your shoulders. “I’m proud of you.”
Kanji Tatsumi
Kanji has always wanted to handle the problem himself. Every time he finds you upset or you have yet another problem with a bully, he’s ready to throw his weight around to close their mouths for you. You always refuse though, with a level of grace that sends Kanji into a fit that he has to tamper down. He wished he could take away every single problem in your life, but he trusted you to do it in the way that was best for you. However, that smile on your face was always there when everyone shit on you. Gleaming, wide, mistakenly joyous. But it never reached your eyes. It wasn’t even like Kanji’s own situation. He chose to look and dress and act the way he does. But you were being bullied for something you couldn’t control. It drove him, for lack of a better term, damn crazy. Which is why he was giddy when he caught the scene in front of Yasogami after school that day.
A circle of students were gasping and egging on some sort of event happening in the middle. With his shoulder, Kanji easily wedged into the inner ring, though he seriously couldn’t believe what he was looking at when he got there. You were hammering your knee into the stomach of the ringleader of the group of bullies, propping up their body with a fist in their uniform collar to take more blows. In between the crowd's noises, you cried out, "This is what you get for every. Single. Terrible. Hurtful. Word!" Before he could think anything, he was pulling you off of the bully, arms hooked under your shoulders, feet dragging against the concrete and asphalt as Kanji once again split the crowd. This time, it was his mere presence that had people parting easier than Yaso-Inaba's fields of wild grass in a storm's wind.
You didn't struggle against him at all, your limbs just went limp while Kanji carry-dragged you down the pathway to the Samegawa Floodplain. Kanji was proud of you for standing up for yourself. That was the first thing he told you after he sat you on top of his jacket on one of the walkway's benches, misted from the afternoon rain sputter.
Despite his words, your thoughts swirled. What had you just done? You never thought of yourself as the type of person to just… snap in public like that, but it happened. The lid on your ugly thoughts and feelings came undone, and you'd let them loose. Kanji settled next to you, placing an incredibly stiff arm across your shoulders as you shoved your face into your hands. "I know I'm not—shit… the best person to be lecturin' on this, but," he started, his voice gruff and unsteady, "you stood up for yourself, right? Maybe starting a walloping like that in the school yard might not have been your best moment, but, what I'm trying to say is, y-you did good. In my book, at least."
#persona#persona 4#persona 4 fanfiction#naoto shirogane#naoto shirogane x reader#yu narukami#yu narukami x reader#kanji tatsumu#kanji tatsumi x reader#gender neutral reader#request#headcanon#i had a huge crush on yu when i was a senior in high school and i think this shows here
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[prologue] re: All in the Past
Fandom: Persona (3 & 4) Rating: M Major/Eventual Ships: Akihamu Minor Ships: Jundori, Minayuka AU: Twin Protags + Somebody Lives/Not Everybody Dies + Post-Canon AU Note: Cross-posted on AO3 under the same title.
Summary:
Kotone Shiomi might be an idiot. No, actually, she is undoubtedly an idiot, because no one in the right mind would choose to stick around in the same city that took her loved ones away, a place that had nothing for her. She knew that her parents loved this wretched place, that they often swung by to play concerts when they were alive. Her brother had loved this terrible place, enough to want to finish his schooling, enough to actually consider opening up that bakery she always joked about. Her brother made friends here, he even had a girlfriend (which, gross, someone actually thought her gloomy brother was attractive), and he was finally opening up his heart to people. On their phone calls, he had even asked Kotone questions of her life! Questions that he’s never bothered to ask before! And then he died. He died, leaving everything behind — money, his cosplay crap, the letters she sent him over the years, and… He left her a goodbye letter. //In which the aftermath of Minato's death affected those outside of SEES.
A/N:
I wrote a fanfic around 2014 on FFN under my first fanfic writing account (and I want no reminders of its existence, but if it gets found, just know I will scream and cry if you do find it). It was intended to be a one-shot, although it was very open-ended and I didn’t really want to think too deeply on it. Originally, this was meant to hype me up for P3: Reload, but I haven’t touched it yet because I’m still mourning over the fact that there’s no Female Protag. Hamuko is a nickname; Kotone Shiomi will be used as her full name! Also, I’ll be including Japanese suffixes to better portray relationships. Fun fact: The University is named “Hankyō” (反響) which means “echo” and “reverberation”, which I found to be poetic, because Hamuko’s following after the traces of her brother’s memory in order to solve the mystery of his death. @hwang-lucas because I'm posting this fic for you instead of letting it collect dust in my google docs LMAO
Chapters: [prologue] 1 | 2 | 3
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0. prologue
——————————
Beginning of March, 2011
Breathe in. Breathe out.
This will be the third time in her life that she visits the Iwatodai Graveyard, and she wishes that it never went beyond the first visit.
But that’s the thing about life.
Like it or not, you don’t always get what you want.
“Thank you for showing me the way,” she politely bowed at the handsome silver-haired young man.
“No problem, Shiomi-san,” Akihiko Sanada gave her a sympathetic smile as he hands over the bucket of water — for cleaning the graves, she idly reminds herself as her eyes linger on his muscles for just a second too long. “Will you be okay from here?”
Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Yeah, no worries,” she replied, smiling at the stranger despite the clenching of her fists. It was very hard not to grab his shoulders and shake him for answers about her brother, but she knew better than to do that.
Easy. Just take it easy. They don’t know you, and he might not be one of them.
It was, predictably, harder to watch him walk away without any answers to any question of hers.
When she first arrived in the area, she got lost — plain and simple, and flat out embarrassing. Her phone was dead, and she couldn’t contact anyone who might know something — not that she knew anyone in Iwatodai, much less Tatsumi Port Island, to begin with. Maybe Mitsuru Kirijo, the person who helped fund her brother’s funeral and arranged everything, but she’s not sure if that’s how she wants to get back into contact with her brother’s friend…
Anyway, that was how she became acquainted with Akihiko Sanada — she wound up finding the police station and asked for directions to the graveyard. The officer at the desk was a rather intimidating fellow, and maybe it was obvious that she was gradually getting more and more confused at the older man’s instructions as he mentioned the names of streets and buildings, that Akihiko Sanada, a handsome young man who had been in the room, had politely offered to show her the way.
Which, she supposes, has been the only good thing about the day for her.
Talking to Akihiko was easy, and maybe that was because he was easy on the eyes. As she glanced at their surroundings throughout the journey to the graveyard, he made it easy to feel as if she hadn’t been an outsider looking in. He made recommendations to some of the food places, she asked about things like the bookstores and cafés. Eventually, they touched on the topic of why she was visiting the graveyard, and he sympathized with her by mentioning his younger sister after she spoke of her brother.
His name sounded familiar enough, so chances are, Akihiko had been one of her brother’s friends. There was a brief mention of an Akihiko-senpai, and she had suspicions that they were one in the same. She would need to revisit the letters her brother sent her as well as the emails to be sure. Detective Shirogane was arriving next week, so the sooner she figures it all out, the better.
Still, it was clear that Akihiko managed to walk forward with his grief, even if it still hurts.
She wondered, then, that if it was her who left this world, would her brother mourn for her in the same way as Akihiko had done for his sister? Would he miss her, often, but still find the strength within him to still push forward?
Or would he be standing here, alone in a world that feels strange? Alone, and unwilling to let sleeping demons be, to touch upon matters that were best left behind as everyone had advised? The past is in the past, but would he let himself feel angry at the world? Would he get frustrated when things feel hopeless, despair when it starts to feel pointless? Would he deal with detective after detective, the constant confirmations that he’s in over his head, and that the only logical explanation ought to be drugs and a friend wanting to protect their reputation?
Oh, but she knows. She knows her brother better than anyone else in the world prior to his death. And, maybe, the only thing she never knew was the him before he died. He would wear his apathy to mask the painful aches, if he ever allowed himself to feel in those fleeting moments.
But, unlike her, Minato had friends that he could trust. Friends he could count on.
Her brother was strong, both physically and mentally.
And, more importantly, he isn’t her.
He’s not Kotone.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
She won’t break down like this. She hasn’t cried in years, and she’s not gonna start now, when she knows absolutely nothing about the man her brother became. Oh, she certainly raged at his death, cursing the world for all that it’s taken from her, but she had yet to shed honest tears over his death.
And instead, she smiles. Smiles were a good thing. Smiles made people feel safe and reassured. Smiles made her likeable. Smiles hadn’t failed her, even when she’s alone and tired and sick of it all—
Eventually, she manages to find her brother’s grave, settled beside her parent’s gravestone. Her parents eloped and ran away from their respective families after marrying, but only her father was disowned by his family. The Shiomi Family was matriarchal, and because Kotone was the only girl born in her generation and was therefore the heiress — at least, until one of her cousins were born and Kotone was more than happy to pass on the hat, so to speak — she was accepted into the family with open arms after her parents died, even if they criticized her mother often.
So, it was a bit surprising to know that her parents didn’t have their gravestone in the Shiomi Family Graveyard. For Minato, it was probably thanks to his friend who likely argued in his favor. Did he ever talk to her about their maternal family? Or did he just leave the thought alone?
Vaguely, she recalls a blurry memory of her crouched down in front of their parent’s grave. She was just a little kid sobbing, her brother hugging her, traumatized and different because the adults said so, saying that he had been awake when the accident occurred.
(She woke up in the remnants of the accident, after their parents had passed, with her brother shaking her and trembling all the while, with an expressionless look on his face and tears falling down. In the midst of burning flames and blooming pain that looked almost like an ominous green, she was traumatized in a different way.
But that is neither here nor there.)
Kotone shakes her head, settling down and opening her yellow backpack for the cleaning rags and got to work cleaning her parent’s grave. Her brother’s grave was much cleaner and well-cared for, likely visited by his friends more than her parent’s have ever been. But, his stone sits beside them, like his cremated ashes placed beside their parents in her room.
Seeing his name engraved in the stone was a very jarring thing. It’s a strange sight, one that she never expected to see before she’s even considered a young adult. Like her brother, her name will also be carved in this place when she passes, and she hopes her family honors that request.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Kotone rinses out the cleaning rag and places the flowers for her parents.
Seventeen.
Minato died when they were both only seventeen.
And now here she was, eighteen and in a world without him.
Living in the same city where their parents died, the same city that traumatized him and left them both orphans. The same city that she recently moved to, just to cling onto the could-haves and should’ve-beens.
Eighteen and alone, when they promised to move in together so she can finally escape the Shiomi Family and he can finally live without them threatening to hold their parent’s inheritance against him.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
When she attended his funeral, her family — her mother’s side of the family, because father was disowned after he eloped with mother and adopted his own mother’s maiden name — was solemn and quiet, but all of them only showed up for appearances. Most inquired about possessions, and only some of them realized that she was still there. Everything went to her, except for certain boxes that he himself had set aside and noted for who it would go to. He drafted his own will, apparently, and left it with the same lawyer their parents used who looked at her with sympathy and pity.
All of his belongings had been neatly tucked and packaged away, as if to make it all easier.
Her brother had told her that his time was coming to a close, that he was tired. She thought he was joking when she first read that email, with him talking about graduation for his senpais. She thought that with how animated his letters and emails became after befriending his friends, that he was finally coming out of his shell. Maybe he had a flair for dramatics, something she never knew, and wouldn’t that have been nice to have in common with her brother?
She thought wrong, when she received that dreadful phone call from a stranger whose name she’s only known through her brother’s letters and emails.
It sickened her, really. She had months worth of letters and emails from him, and as his letters stopped, descending into short phone calls and even shorter emails, she thought nothing of it. He sounded tired, and she could only assume that he hadn’t been sleeping well again.
Final exams often did that to people. So what? He missed a few phone calls, and he sent her apology texts whenever he missed five. Whatever. He’s a busy guy.
How naïve of her. Did she really think it was normal?
She thought it was strange, maybe even suspicious at times. His first week there was odd when he emailed her about it, no matter how much the detectives justified it as delusions or just pure exhaustion. He even claimed it, but it still stood out to her.
Because apparently he was so exhausted and thought the city turned into some sort of deranged graveyard in greens, with blood oozing in places and the moon yellow. She even thought it was a dream of his, since he mentioned dozing off on the train at some point, and that maybe it’d be a great premise for a suspenseful horror story he wanted to write. At some point he mentioned his dorm mate-turned-friend-turned-girlfriend, Yukari Takeba, had pointed a gun at him. Granted, she supposes that having a gun was probably for the best safety-wise since only two girls and a guy lived at the dorms until her brother came along, as well as the others.
She wonders if this Yukari girl had known about her brother’s condition. Apparently, from what was told, the doctors claimed that her brother passed away in his sleep. How that was possible at such a young age, she hadn’t the slightest idea.
It was like one day, he was spirited away.
At one point in all their correspondence, he mentioned that his friend asked him to kill him, and that he felt horrified at the idea of it. She doesn’t blame him, but since she couldn’t even find a Facebook profile of this Ryoji guy, she wonders if her brother was… if he was talking about himself, rather than an actual friend. She hopes not — God, she really hopes not. How much was her brother struggling? Did he actually rely on his friends, or did he only tell her that so she’d feel at ease?
She… was too distraught at the funeral to take notice of them. His friends did show up, at least, she thinks they did, but they mostly didn’t approach her, and she kept to herself. A young woman, Mitsuru, had expressed her condolences to her directly, saying that she was her brother’s friend, and offered her phone number if she ever needed it.
But Kotone never called her. The number was saved on her phone, but… she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Her nails were digging into her skin painfully, and the pain quickly washes away when she immediately releases her clenched fists upon realizing this fact. She’s been staring at the bouquet of flowers resting before her brother’s gravestone — pinks and blues, seeming almost symbolic of something.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Vision is shaking, but that’s normal.
Right. She can think this over and over again a million times, and she will, but now she’s here visiting her brother’s… grave. What should she even say to him? Should she apologize for being unable to visit his grave because she hadn’t fully moved to Iwatodai yet, even though she prayed to him and their parents often? Should she tell him how exhausting it was to unpack everything by herself? That her university admissions made a mistake with her transfer paperwork, so she ended up wasting maybe an hour having to wait on getting that crap sorted out? Does she talk about the journey to the graveyard because she got hopelessly lost?
Does she talk about the detectives, all of the ones that rejected her case? Or what about the ones who threw insulting remarks about him or his friends, or the few believing that the Kirijo Group had some involvement? Not all of them were bad, she supposes.
But what does it say about all those full grown men, when it was a kid barely into his first year of high school who reached out to her first?
The same kid who asked her if she was still looking for someone to look into her case?
What the hell do normal people really talk about, anyway? What should someone say, despite the distant relationship they shared prior to them passing on?
Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Hey,” she settles on a smile. “Sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”
Before he decided to attend Gekkoukan High School, they were only able to meet up a few times in a year if they were lucky. All of them had been for family gatherings, and Minato had been shoved into house to house among their relatives because none of them wanted to deal with the more traumatized twin.
They only stayed in contact through her sheer stubborn will, and she doubts her brother would agree to it if she hadn’t been intentionally annoying and nosy about his life. The letters were meant to be his reprieve from her constantly trying to contact him by phone.
(Maybe she should’ve tried harder.)
It was a good thing that she didn’t give up on staying in contact. She doubts that she would be excluded from it as his twin sister, but if she wasn’t one of his contacts, maybe she wouldn’t have even known about the funeral. Some of their relatives still didn’t find out until recently.
(And they were all disgustingly the same, murmuring feigned sorrow with greedy eyes as they reluctantly ask about whatever was left of their inheritance from their parents.
She knows they wish she were out of the picture, too.)
“I know you didn’t want to talk to me about a bunch of stuff, but what the hell, big bro?” she dryly laughed. “What’s up with all the money and cosplay crap?”
Part of her thinks that maybe he really did do some shady jobs — the money he left behind to her was enough to buy her several houses and live comfortably unemployed for years, and that didn’t include the inheritance from their parents and the royalties they still received from their music. If she was smart with her money and didn’t waste it, if she made a few investments, then she’d be set for life.
(One detective thought that maybe he sold raunchy cosplay pictures, a mental image that was, and still is, very much unwanted and unneeded and made zero sense with what she knew of her brother. It helps that the detective seemed just as uncomfortable with the thought as she was.
Another suggested it was from video game competitions, which sounded much more likely and vastly more doable and preferable.)
Similar to their parents, there were royalties coming in under his name. Maybe she ought to revisit those papers and figure out why that is. The past few months, she’s been more focused on graduating and planning what to do next, so she tried to avoid thinking about most of the unpleasant aspects that come after someone’s passing, which included those royalties.
Still, he really did leave behind a lot of stuff. Weapons, clothes, accessories, books, and a bunch of miscellaneous stuff. The few detectives willing to entertain her case before declining after hearing that the Kirijo Group was involved considered that maybe his school club was one of those Dungeons and Dragons thing, but was much more serious to the point that they’d embody their character. His phone’s background was also proof that he was really into gaming. It explained half the problems and nothing more.
So this whole green world thing from the first letter was maybe a mistake, which was possible. He might’ve been tired and started writing a scene and forgot that it was a letter to her. Debatable, questionable, but not impossible. The weapons thing felt odd, but her brother had never been very forthcoming about his interests other than music, so that left room for possibilities. Books were normal, but the random outfits and accessories made sense when lumped together as part of the cosplay stuff. He had an armband with “SEES” on it, which was apparently one of his after school clubs.
What concerned her was the random health stuff.
He had a notebook. It mentioned the names of the items, the effects of it, the HP and SP — that was one of the tip offs that it must’ve just been a group game thing. Some were items were relatively harmless, but the more concerning items were what he noted to be “Rancid Gravy” and “Odd Morsel”.
She supposes that it was fortunate that Mitsuru Kirijo had offered to buy most of her brother’s things for her, even if she sent an assistant to handle the deal. Even if she was sure that the Kirijo Group covered up her brother’s cause of death, she did seem guilty about it. And ashamed, if the avoidance of a second in-person meeting was any indication.
One of the suggestions for her brother’s cause of death was overwork, despite being at the pinnacle of health. That was the official story, anyway.
(How the hell does the rising star of the track team die in his sleep, without an ounce of drugs in his blood?)
It was painful going through his belongings, and the whole thing felt rather ironic. She would want for nothing thanks to her brother’s passing, and yet him being alive was the only thing she wished for.
She crouches down, feeling so incredibly small and sad and angry at the world. It looked like the grave was well-maintained. His friends, she thinks, because their family hadn’t thought kindly of her and her brother, except for a few who were never able to care for them.
A passing thought flickers in her mind, wondering if her brother ever visited their parents while he was here.
Probably not.
He didn’t like reminiscing any more than she did.
She places an incense, a habit that’s become second nature since the death of their parents. Even if she doesn’t believe in an afterlife, she finds comfort in the gesture. It helps, knowing that if it really did exist despite her disbelief, then she could make her loved ones happy even if just for a short while.
“I don’t even know if melon bread is still your favourite,” she admits softly, placing the plastic wrapped bread on the grave as an offering. “I’d like to think it still is.”
It’d be devastating if she were ever told otherwise, but she likes to pretend that she still knows her brother well. Her brother would eat anything placed in front of him, but he had minor dislikes that popped up from time to time. When she first started learning how to cook back when they were younger and still lived together, she was absolutely terrible, but her brother never complained and simply made suggestions little by little. He sent her compliments when she sent him cookies every once in a while, and she promised to cook for him whenever she had the chance to see him.
Her brother was always the better chef, though. He was always sending her recipes, mentioning alterations he’s done. She didn’t really have the chance to show off when they reached high school, but she promised she would. Hell, he entertained the idea of a restaurant, purely because he had a senpai who was good at cooking.
And now, she’ll never have that chance to cook for her brother.
“You promised,” she muttered, feeling so horribly hurt and broken as she smiled with gritted teeth. “Did you remember? We were going to be grown-ups and open up our own bakery or restaurant. I’d deal with the customers, and you could stay in the kitchen cooking and baking all day, rocking out to music as much as you want, and then when we close up shop, we can just go upstairs and be at home relaxing in minutes.”
It was a what-if, a possible future plan, but she wanted to be with her brother because he was the only person left who understood. She wanted them to live an easy and simple life, because it was hard to move from place to place with no one to return home to.
And that’s what will happen now. Moving to a new place with no one to come home to.
Again.
“You liar,” she muttered, bitter and hateful, burying her face into the palm of her hands. Part of her wants to cry, but she won’t, and she hasn’t. This dreadful place doesn’t deserve her tears. She could smell the sandalwood incense, and yet again, she’s reminded of that time during their parent’s funeral.
How could he leave like this? Did she even cross his mind?
Ah, but she knows. She knows that whatever happened to him, he didn’t want to leave her.
It wasn’t said outright, but there was a chance that he’d be fine. That he was going to hang in there.
Something happened to him, but what ?
She clenched her fists, her nails once again digging into her skin.
It’s very easy for her, she thinks, to feel resentful about everything. Resentful of her brother, of his death, of herself — everything.
Between the two of them, she was always selfish, something that she didn’t mind until now, always wanting things to go her way. She was always more resentful, she knew hatred so intimately well that it made her feel bitter to her bones. Maybe that was why she knew that he’d tell her to leave it be, let bygones be bygones, and to not even try to look into his death.
But her brother was gone, so he can’t really tell her what to do. And she won’t take the imagined advice — not even if he were to rise from the dead to tell her himself.
She’ll damn well figure out why he died.
——————————
[Unsent Letter]
From: Minato Arisato
To: Kotone Shiomi
January – 2010
Dear Hamuko,
For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.
I’m not sure if this letter will ever reach you, but if it has, then. Well, I’m gone, and the world hasn’t ended like we thought it would. This day came sooner than I thought, and it’s hard sometimes, but I think I get what you mean now. About rising above challenges as long as you’re with some friends, even if you were only talking about manga. I have a promise to keep to my friends, and I’ll die trying to achieve it.
Maybe in another life, or another world, you could understand what I’m going through. Or maybe we would live normal lives and build up that bakery you keep yapping on about.
I’m sorry for never really being present in your life. You always reach out to me, even when you get upset at me for something I’ve done. I do feel guilty about that, and I can’t make anyone happy here no matter what I choose to do. I know you’ll be okay, you always manage to bounce back up no matter what, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.
I’d like to tell you I’m sorry in person, but if you received this letter, then I can’t do that.
My choices have brought me to this point, and I can’t say I regret anything about my life now that I understand what true relationships are like.
I do regret one thing, and that’s leaving you behind. I’m sorry, Hamuko, for breaking our promises. I won’t ask you to forgive me.
This is just another consequence of my actions, and I will bear it as my responsibility.
You will always be my little sister.
Goodbye,
Minato
——————————
‘Now what?’ She thinks, staring blankly at the gravestone. ‘I bought an old dormitory to renovate so I can feel less guilty for using brother's money one I start getting tenants — I need to do some tidying up, but it’ll be a good place to rent out, so I can have a little extra money just to be safe. I don’t have a meeting with the detective until next weekend, and I need to wait to hear about my enrollment to University.’
She looks up into the sky, watching the clouds floating by amidst the sunset skies.
How long has she been standing here?
“Shiomi-san? You’re still here?” comes the familiar voice, surprise and a hint of concern in his voice. Looking up, she finds herself staring at the man she’s seen only several hours ago.
“Oh, Sanada-san,” she politely greeted after a moment of silence.
She knew that seeing him again was inevitable, considering that he was a student at the university she’s enrolling into, but it’s only been a few hours. And, unlike before, he wasn’t alone. Standing a little away was a group of young adults, with a teen, a dog, and a foreigner girl.
“I was actually just about done,” she smiled at him. “There’s been a lot on my mind, so it’s rather refreshing to get it off my chest.”
It wasn’t necessarily a lie — she really did feel better, even if she had a minor headache from all the things that she needed to deal with. Renovations. Paperwork. Meeting the detective. University.
Paperwork was no joke, but solving a mystery with almost no clues was the absolute worst.
Ah… so much to do.
“I see,” he looked at her, understanding in his eyes as he simply nodded.
“Well, I ought to get going before it starts getting dark out, Sanada-san,” she bowed to him, smiling politely. “Have a good evening.”
She walks past him, getting a better look at the group. What a colorful group, she thinks. Blue baseball cap guy, a lady in a pink sweater, a petite lady in green, a blonde foreigner, a teen in an orange sweater, and…
Kotone instinctively smiled, bowing politely at the group and glancing up at Mitsuru Kirijo, the most famous among the group. The heiress, or rather, the leader of the group. Wasn’t she her brother’s friend? If that’s the case, then everyone here must’ve been the group who showed up at her brother’s funeral.
So she was right. Akihiko Sanada was the same Akihiko-senpai her brother mentioned in passing.
“I take it that you and your friends have been taking care of my brother’s grave,” she bowed again. “Thank you for looking out for him even now.”
She bites her tongue, her mind cursing at them. How much did they contribute to her brother’s death? There’s been shady rumours of the Kirijo Group, they were wealthy and had more than enough influence to keep things hidden.
Kotone will never know.
Before they could say anything — surprise, shock, or just downright confusion written all across their faces — she takes her leave. Fists clenching, she bites her lip and wonders how she ought to go about this.
She can’t take any risks right now.
It was safe to assume that they were all dorm mates or or they were all part of the same club, otherwise they wouldn’t plan on visiting together with an almost carefree air to them. It was also possible that they all happened to know her brother from separate instances and came together to grieve after his funeral. He’s mentioned quite a lot of names, so that’s her first step: rereading everything and writing down names and his relation to them. That’s already her plan for before the detective arrives.
She wasn’t going to demand answers from them. Not right now.
For starters, a cover-up was still in the realm of possibility with the Kirijo Group involved. And it was very obvious now that they might know something from how they acted at the funeral back then. They grieved for her brother, but it was different from all the other funerals that she’s been to. Back then, she thought nothing of it because her mind had blanked and she couldn’t focus.
But Kirijo recognized her after she thanked her, with a flash of guilt and understanding. Maybe she’s grasping at straws for something, but it doesn’t matter.
She will find out the truth.
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tagged by @cateringisalie - tagging @darrelodin, @bad0mens (but don't feel obligated obviously!)
How many works do you have on ao3? 138
2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 434,082
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Persona 5, Octopath Traveler 2 are the active ones; previously wrote quite a bit for Bravely Default and some for Final Fantasy VII.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are all P5 fics. Also the top two really ARE the two fics I started on the p5 kinkmeme lol! (They had non-kink prompts as well)
When the Cat Dragged In the Trickster (2172) - AU where Ann is the PT leader; when Morgana runs away, he recruits the delinquent who sits behind her in class. Hiatus'd for way too long, I do want to resume it I just kind of. psyched myself out hard lol
Our Partner is Who? (1471) - no metaverse AU. Plays fast and loose with how Japanese school works to force Ryuji and Ann to work with "the scary delinquent" for a project. They realize he's not as bad as the rumors say.
Infringe (1039) - not all Joker Palace fics do this (or have a fairly ironclad reason for doing it), but a number have the thieves break the rule of a unanimous vote to investigate Joker's Palace behind his back. This is about how that could go wrong.
Stall and Crash (997) - Things go very wrong during a battle in Shido's Palace when a status effect sends Joker's mind back to the interrogation room.
Overload (623) - Minutes after summoning Satanael, Ren collapses in Shibuya square. Spurred by a prompt about giving p5 a p3-esque end (though, notably, Ren doesn't actually die...but at the point it leaves off, he's not in a good state, either)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to. I don't always. I have a bad tendency to overthink and so I can get myself with "am I saying this right/did I respond to everything/AUGH IT'S BEEN TOO LONG".
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh gosh if you wanna go way back in time to fanfiction.net I feel like some of the Shadow Hearts fic might count lol BUT actually. In recent ao3 memory. Killing Hope is a fic that explores a timeline where Ren sold out his friends in the interrogation room, and now that he's dead and most of the Phantom Thieves are captured, Akechi is setting out to tie up one last loose end. It is 100% a bad time.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Heaven Never Could Describe reunites Maruki and Rumi. Like it could have been even sappier. But it's already pretty sappy.
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Not really. I've occasionally gotten overbearing crit or a backhanded bookmark ("not as good as [different fic with somewhat similar premise]") but in terms of getting outright hate I've been lucky.
9. Do you write smut?
No. Like I have, if you really dig through ao3 and ff.net profiles you can find it, but I barely read it and the stars gotta align for me to want to write it.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No. Occasionally I like to pitch an idea off the cuff but it's rare for one to compel me into writing. Do think p5 x aa fics are fun but I haven't had any particularly strong ideas for one myself.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not to my knowledge.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I haven't had the best luck with partner projects so I always feel like that might just drive me and/or the partner nuts lol
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
Tiznes is still pretty nice lol although I feel like OF ALL TIME it'd probably have to be Clerith.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
Overload would be nice to finish but is probably dead in the water. To be fair to myself, it was spontaneously spurred on by an ask and never did have a firm plot to begin with, just headcanon about what couldcause Ren to have a near-death experience at the end of p5. There were some vague thoughts about how to have him recover/how MUCH he'd recover (one idea was that while he recovers enough to do basic self-care like eating/dressing and can hold conversations and do some simple tasks, it's dicey, at least in the fic's time frame, if he'll ever recover enough to be fully self-sufficient in the future and the team recognizes that and tries to help him have a safety net)/even a thought about pulling in p5r elements (it was started before royal came out but has no contradictions iirc) but at this point. it's easier to say "that was interesting but I don't know how to finish it" and move on.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I feel like I'm fairly good at digging into characters and getting their motivations right?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Getting stuck on projects in ways where I feel like I can't even write like I can string one word to another but I've completely lost any perspective of how anything connects in an interesting way
WHEN THE BRAIN FOG ROLLS IN IT'S LIKE SILENT HILL
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Don't lol
I have done it, in a very old Shadow Hearts fic, but honestly unless the POV character has decent proficiency in the target language they'd have trouble parsing it anyway, and if they're fluent they can just understand and "hear" it as...what it means in the language you're writing in. There are occasions it may make sense but I think most time it's more trouble than it's worth.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Shadow Hearts according to my ff.net profile but that's because I deleted my very first ff7 fic off there lololol
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
for all the headache it's caused me I do like When the Cat Dragged in the Trickster
for an oldie tho. I like What Crossdressing Says About Character (ff7 fic about Cloud & Aerith in the sector six segment).
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loose thoughts on persona 4 golden finally (I always say this and then the post ends up being super long)
I'm really glad this is the version I played first, being able to do Adachi's social link, the cast's pair attacks, the updated artwork, and Marie were all wonderful. I was especially surprised by how much I ended up liking Marie, if I didn't know Golden was a rerelease I would barely have realised she was a new character. She fit in with the themes of the game well, especially in the ending.
My biggest gripe, and what probably made me take so long to really get into the game, was the dungeon gameplay... when I first played it was like "oh, nice, it's just persona 3 again" but the enemy balancing and monotonous procedurally generated dungeon style was legit painful at times, in natural persona fashion it got much easier to deal with once I had a stronger team later in the game (Kanji + Yukiko + Naoto sweep) but I would love a remake someday if only for them to improve on the dungeons. there is a lot more they could do with them if they implemented a more P5 palace style to them as well, since they're representing the minds of certain characters. Even though Tartarus is also a procedurally generated dungeon, that can get repetitive, the gameplay cycle (at least in portable) felt better for progression and the enemy balancing was definitely completely different - maybe the way they had multiple minibosses along the way to the end of each block is what made it feel better? idk
I heard that some people disliked Marie's dungeon, but I honestly didn't mind it at all. I thought the gimmick shook things up in a way that was necessary since at that point I was just destroying everybody, I liked it more than Izanami's dungeon.
For the story, I had already been spoiled on the culprit as you all know, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the writing and the way everything unfolded really caught me off guard at times and had me still wondering what was really going on. Mitsuo, Namatame and Adachi were all great antagonists and each of their chapters of the game were memorable to me, especially the kidnapping of Nanako. The game was great at making me feel uneasy.
By the end of it, I felt super satisfied. I didn't get to finish a lot of the social links - some of them I didn't know existed - but I finished the whole investigation team and Nanako and Dojima, and really loved how all of their arcs progressed through the game. I went through a real rollercoaster with Yosuke, thinking he was cool, then thinking he was annoying and gross, and then being like yeah wow I really like the journey he's had as a person. The epilogue ending for Golden was really perfect, and I wish P5R had gotten something like that instead of what they did to the last cutscene...
I might have forgotten some stuff, but basically game good! Great even! I think it is right behind P5 as my favourite persona game so far. Now for the character tier list...
see you next time when i finally finish tears of the kingdom
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So I finished Persona 3 Reload last night.
Great game. I think personally, my Persona games rankings are 5, 3, 4. I know that might be controversial. And it's not that I didn't like 4, but I connect a lot more to the characters of 5, and I really like the mood/themes of 3. 4 is fun and the story is good, but IDK.
Course it could just be because 3 is recent in my mind and I'd change my ranking if/when I replay 4. But I guess I'm just edgy and like the dark shit.
Obviously I can't compare Reload to the previous versions of 3, not having played them, but it was really great. The animations were super impressive and voice acting, mechanics, honestly just great across the board. I do wish we could have the female MC option, though. I'd love to replay with that.
Looking forward to the DLC in September.
Oh, so I'll share the theory I had for like the first half of playing: I was convinced MC/Makoto was a robot. Like after Aigis was introduced, I was like, OH he's SO a secret robot. Like, he's all unemotional and has this totally mysterious past where it seems like he just APPEARED coming into town. IDK it worked in my head.
Obviously I was wrong. But that would be a fun protagonist twist.
I romanced Mitsuru, mainly because she's just hot and my taste. Second runner up was Fuuka.
About the ending:
I sorta anticipated that he would die at the end. It made sense with the theme. And so in the final battle, when he sacrificed himself I was all, yup, I get it, cool. And I had seen some comments online that made me think I was correct about how it was gonna go.
And then he came back and I was like, okay I guess I was wrong?
But then everyone we talked to said "you're not looking good" and I was like "OH okay." And then I got to the actual end and was all "Did we just...die? It was kinda unclear."
But I did check and okay yeah. I mean it really only makes sense that he dies. I absolutely love the theme of death in this game and accepting death when it's unavoidable and finding meaning in it...
Anyway, I was going to replay BG3 next but Little Kitty Big City is on Gamepass, so I've already started that. I've been waiting like a year for it and it's so freaking cute.
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And finally, to complete my yearly game posts, here's what I plan on playing in the year 2024:
1. Assemble With Care - a short little game I should be able to knock out in a few hours but I picked it up in a bundle and I have wanted to play it so I will try to knock it out this year.
2. I'm more than half way done with Baldur's Gate 3 but I likely will be playing it through January. I hope to finish it at least once before P3R.
3. Bloodborne - help.
4. Borderlands 2 - since I had such a blast playing Borderlands with my boyfriend this year, I'm looking forward to giving this game a second chance and hopefully enjoying it much more.
5. Borderlands 3 - a little less hopeful for this one, since I haven't heard much good about it, but might as well knock out the main franchise.
6. Boyfriend Dungeon - I just got this for Christmas and I'm excited for the concept of romancing my weapons :)
7. I'm also more than halfway through Catherine, so I also intend to finish that in the coming month.
8. Cat Museum - something cute and short I picked up on mega sale and want to make an effort to play this year.
9. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I actually have no idea what this game is about or if I'll like it but it was a gift so dammit I'll play it.
10. Dragon's Dogma 2 - Dragon's Dogma is easily in my top 10 games of all time, and I am SO hype for this game. The only downside is it's coming in March, and the first quarter of 2024 is pretty PACKED with games for me.
11. Etrian Odyssey - because I never finished it when I owned it on DS but I'm in my Atlus Games era rn so
12. Far: Lone Sails - I was drawn to this game for the art and it seems like a quick little experience of a game.
13. Final Fantasy 16 DLC - blanketing over the currently available DLC and the up and coming DLC.
14. Hades - a carry over from 2023's list but THIS WILL BE THE YEAR (maybe)
15. Haven - I don't think (?) this game is very long but it looks very heartwarming so I'm here for it this year.
16. Little Nightmares 2 - another fairly short game that I have no reason not to play, especially when I'm obsessed with the first one.
17. Little Nightmares 3 - I don't know what the release date is yet but like Borderlands let's try to close out a franchise!
18. Metaphor: ReFantazio - it doesn't even have a release date and I'm already excited about it.
21. Nier Automata - another carry over from 2023, but I have a good feeling about it this year.
19. NEO: The World Ends With You - I hear only good things about this game but I will be walking into it 98% blind.
20. Nightingale - Idk how much I'll actually play this game but my friend and I have been watching its development for years and we are READY
22. Nier Replicant - I watched a friend play some of this and it looked fun, and since I saw it was free on PS plus... why not.
23. Octopath Traveler - this is to feed my JRPG addiction but break up some of my Atlus obsession
24. Opus: Echo of Starsong - This was a gift like 2 years ago and I really want to play it through this year.
25. Persona 3 Reload - I ALREADY TOOK VACATION FOR IT IM SO READY 38 MORE DAYS
26. Persona 4 Arena - Because I think it's the only readily available Persona game I haven't played yet.
27. Sea of Stars - I'm more than half through this too, I stopped playing it to play Tactica so I'll be finishing this soon as well.
28. Shin Megami Tensei 3: Nocturne - I put a fair amount of time into it this year, and I adore this game. I'm finishing it next year.
29. Shin Megami Tensei 5 - for real this year, I promise (🤞)
31. Undertale - why have I not played this? Why did it sit on my list last year untouched? Why did I install it and never play it? The world may never know.
30. Soul Hackers 2 - because again, I'm in my Atlus Games era and I bought it this year so time to play it.
32. Untitled Goose Game - for casual hijinks
I'm even more ambitious this year than last year and thats without knowing even half of whats to be released in 2024 sooo wish me luck.
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persona 4 golden playthrough update:
- I have found the True Killer At Last. was like “I’m not going to use a guide for everything” but I sure did use a guide for this. and I’m glad I did because no way would I have gotten through that Questions Gauntlet without it
- I forgot literally everything namatame did sorry dude. also a little disappointed we didn’t get to see nanako’s shadow though I get why she didn’t have one. want this little girl to be a little bit more upset about things she should be upset about sometimes
- ANYWAYS I maxed out every party member’s social link except for rise (and of course teddie but that doesn’t count). I want to max out rise as soon as possible since she’s also probably got the best navigator skills, but I still want to do a friendship only game and I don’t want to make her sad :( I will have to romance someone eventually on ng+ to get some Achievements, might pick rise so I don’t have to make her sad twice?
- turns out I was missing out on a lot of social links I forgot you have to like. talk to people. and stuff. so I’m probably going to have to do a ng+ to figure out what those people are up to. plus I missed out on a lot just not taking jobs? I took on the hospital janitor job just to get courage up (to talk to naoto) and was NOT fond about how that particular social link started.
- so it’s funny the only other social link I maxed outside party members (and the dojimas and marie) was uhhh kou ichijo who I spent time with because he shares a last name with kay. so then when they had the “remember all your friends!” it was like one guy. which was kinda funny
- also managed to max all stats which is nice
- still was only at like rank 2 at adachi because he said something that made me go :/ and then he was so low on my priority list after that I completely missed out on the rest of his social link. so that’s also a thing I want to do in a ng+ since he’s uh. a significant character.
- looked up the bad endings and accomplice ending is FUN even though I still don’t give a shit about adachi yet. because like I forgot what his whole deal was except it had something to do with being a misogynist? I know people compare him to akechi who I really like but I’m not feeling anything for him yet. like I said I don’t remember a lot of the details of this part of the game so if there was something cool I forgot. well.
- as for characters I DO like: naoto my best friend naoto!! I’m not inherently against “woman feels the need to present as male because of some societal pressures but then grows to accept femininity” or whatever, like I’ve been there, but something about the way they go about this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth? like going “I wish I was born male :( well nothing I can do about it guess I’ll have to learn to accept being a woman” isn’t really. encouraging? kind of like with kanji’s “guys can have “feminine” traits without being gay” like. that’s true! but also! in the way you’ve presented this story I think he’s just gay!
- think it would be extremely funny if naoto goes like “that’s it... I’ll have to accept being a woman. I’ll have to learn to work through my internalized misogyny and assert myself as a successful female detective” and does that and then five years later is like “wait. I might actually be trans.”
- while we’re on this depressing note, absolutely everything with the school festival beauty pageants was horrific to sit through. aside from the sheer relief I felt when naoto just refused to participate in the swimsuit part
- I did max out dojima and nanako social links just before nanako got kidnapped so it was hard to watch. dojima finally won me over and was a decent father and then all this happens. which I think is how we’re supposed to play the game anyway
- ??? idk what else. maybe I will be able to finish this game soon and maybe p5r will come in some day. what even IS in the winter months I don’t remember a single thing about marie
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I just finished act 2 (spoilers below the cut)
But I had to play through the assault on Moonrise Towers twice because the first time my game crashed and I lost a save. I could've just done it from right before the Ketheric fight since there's an autosave but I didn't have Gale in my party the first time so I swapped him in this time. And it was very rewarding.
Story wise, the ideal party for the act 2 finale is definitely Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll for all their persona story beats but balancing them all out with a College of Swords Bard like my Robbie might not have been the best thing for me. Especially since I've barely used Wyll thus far and haven't played around with changing his class/stats at all yet.
Also I thought there might be something special if you had Halsin in your party fighting Ketheric, like a "I put you in the ground a century ago and I'll do it again by my own hands" kind of thing. But there wasn't. Maybe there's one with Jaheira if you have a free spot for her? But that's for another playthrough.
Part of why I didn't bring Gale along the first time was due to him being out of spell slots by the time I got to Moonrise. I'd taken him along to find the Nightsong and well. I'd had to restart that fight a couple times already because of several different glitches. Didn't know that there was a restoration thing in the mind flayer nursery! Which is why I want ahead and swapped Lae'zel out for him.
Also, UMMMMM how is it that I, The Player, pieced together that Isobel is Ketheric's daughter from a few pieces of flavor text in the Thorm family mausoleum, but when I tried confronting her there's no way you can ask??? Not even like. See her dodging the question? And then if you rummage around in private quarters in Moonrise, you can find letters from her and her mother all addressed to Ketheric.
I just think that having a build up that feels rewarding or like the game acknowledges you for piecing it together. Also it's pretty damn obvious. How much of this was caused by dramatic irony? Even with the knowledge that Ketheric didn't fully approve of Isobel and Dame Aylin's relationship because he was very protective of his daughter there's still plenty of details we haven't learned about all this. Yet.
But man does it feel kind of awful having broken up with Shadowheart right before finding the Nightsong
I know it's because I wanted everyone carnally and these are the consequences of making Robbie flirt with Everyone In Camp while absolutely still putting Astarion as my number one romantic target but a whore can still have feelings!
Anyway, I typed most of this at 4 AM after my game crashed RIGHT AT WYRM'S CROSSING
With Baldur's Gate in sight
Right after I had a chat with Astarion about how he's gonna go about fucking up Cazador
God I love him sm
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RESIDENT EVIL 4 REMAKE « 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘗𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 .
the champagne swirls absent mindedly in her glass, a whirlpool of empty thoughts & distant emotions that play well with her professional detachment . an easy feat when your heart is not in the assignment, draped in the crystalline blues of a lace halter gown that wraps around her neck, the slit going only to her knee . there is no need to show skin, just enough, & the soulless, muted color that can scarcely compare itself to her favored crimsons makes ada wong just another among an attending crowd . a woman hidden in plain sight, a better chameleon than the man whose presence corrodes at her exposed shoulders, though far less lizard-like . albert wesker is a sculpture surrounded by the ignorant masses, unaware they are witnessing the height of performance art . he isn't chiseled from marble, no, she likens him to some poor soul covered in silver paint, drawing the eyes of bystanders with a hat at his feet, awaiting their cash & applause .
a high society event in prague's dominican hotel that was sure to pull from the most rotten of the czech republic's elite .
networking truly was the worst aspect of this career & with the types in attendance, with wesker in her vicinity & no weapons on her person, she is on her third drink & feeling no effect, losing focus, care or consideration . maybe that's why he decided to join, watch her slowly deflate, trapped where she doesn't belong . ada downs what little remains & there is barely any alcohol burning against her throat, the fruity notes make her think these people are more so children, with no strife to overcome & enough money to live out all their fantasies, all in on a game of play-pretend . the glass is set by the table next to her purse, her right arm reaching within, procuring her compact & opening its secret compartment with a satisfying click . the mirror is what catches her eye, she notes the visible exhaustion on her features, & then, angling it to catch a glimpse of wesker, the absence of emotion on his own . if she had birkin's cocktail coursing through her veins, maybe she wouldn't need to dab her middle finger on the designer cocaine that she smuggled in with her makeup . spreading it along her gums without care for who might look, to anyone far away it would seem like a woman touching up her foundation, & as she finishes massaging it into the left side of her mouth, wesker finally speaks .
@tyrantype : ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞
her upper body turns, hunched over slightly to cover her face with her compact, her finger still ballooning her cheek . there is an ever so brief, distorted, “ ⸺huh ? ” like she didn't expect to be caught in the act, like she thought he had learned to ignore her almost perfectly, her habits, her persona, her indifference . she straightens herself, taking her hand out of her mouth & brushing the stained, wet tip of her finger with her thumb . ada swallows before she continues, letting the rush of euphoria steel her thoughts, make her alive, delude her into an equal footing,
“ all night long i was wondering why you're here . like some kind of particularly intrusive headmaster, could've handled it all on my own . i know the kinds of men the organization loves to court . ”
#tyrantype#* file // : 2004 — ( 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 𝟒 . )#ada wong professional spy#so glad you all got to be here to witness her do coke in front of wesker#thank you everyone it all lead up to this#4 years of yngai dot tumblr dot com#everyone clap#drug use /#drug mention /
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Do you know any story based rpgs with lots of reading and maybe a fun battle system? I recently got a pc so I'm looking for anything that could run on windows software
sorry to get to this so late!
so rpgs exist on a scale much larger than I was expecting. did you know? jump force is classified as an rpg. that game fucking sucks though don't play it
so in terms of traditional, turn-based RPGS id say a safe bet is literally any final fantasy game. 7 is a classic. you can get normal-ass final fantasy 7 on steam for 12 bucks.
if you got the nice specs, my personal favorite turn-based rpg has gotta be yakuza: like a dragon. super fuckin long. still haven't finished it. incredibly solid game w/ charming characters
if we're talking games that are rpgs but aren't turn-based. uhhh mmorpgs with lots of story. idk those barely exist. final fantasy 14 is the only good example of that but all 4 of my friends who've tried it have gotten addicted to it so I don't wanna super recommend it. but it *is* a good game that *will* make you read. but I can't even run that game. be sure to check specs before trying that one.
chicory a colorful tale is counted as an rpg by steam. that barely has combat (only has that during boss segments) but it's a good amt of reading and also has some of the best gameplay I've experienced in recent years
everybody talks about omori. I have never played omori. that might be good though
persona 4 golden is available on steam and soon so will persona 3 portable. both of those games could or at least should run on anything. I've always found personas to be fun lil romps. persona 3 took particularly long for my to play through.
last but not least, this isn't an rpg but if you want primo shit to read, AI the somnium files is a perfect video game when you bring along a guide for the last few somniums. it's just. it's so good. it was also 7 dollars last time I checked. more people need to play it
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18 and 30!
hi lovely !! hope ur doing good today :')
18 — the character that gave you the most trouble writing them this year?
grabs ouma by his stupid little tunic . YOU !!!!! but realistically ouma is an extremely difficult character to write , because you always always have to be thinking of his ulterior motives when you write anything he says . everytime i write a line for him i have to think, does this align with his goal , his philosophies , his beliefs ? would he say this , or would that be revealing too much ? plus trying to mimic the way he speaks and his mannerisms and such is equally tricky .
i ALSO had some trouble with abbacchio from 'time after time'. he plays a fairly large role in the second chapter and i rewatched some episodes in both sub and dub to try and get the essence of how he talked , and im still not sure i got him totally right .
finally , akechi in chapter 4 of 'swinging at my shadow'. mostly because i still havent finished persona 5 and im not totally familiar with his personality yet !
30 — biggest surprise while writing this year?
HMM .... probably actually writing another chapter of 'time after time'. i kind of thought that might become an abandoned work even though i had a lot of love for it .
ALSO !! the discord server !!! i never thought i'd write a fic that was popular enough to have enough people to make a server , but its been such a lovely experience and im so so happy i did it !!
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I reappear again!
And I'm very tired, but we move. I don't mean to keep going radio silent for such long periods, I do tend to get way too engrossed into my work and I'm absolutely abismal at keeping up with social media. I can't excuse myself for this, especially since this has been to my detriment more recently; I've been experiencing some troubles with my left elbow recently (which is my drawing arm) that, while not too bad right now, have made me have to consider taking things more easy, which also hasn't helped with a large of burnout I've been feeling on my current animation project.
So, what does this mean? Well, for starters, I'm continuing work on the animation. Despite my burnout, I still feel like I'm putting good work into it and at this point abandonning it would just feel plain silly. In fact, here's the finished clean for shots 2 and 3 (shot 1 doesn't have the character so I don't have to animate). I'm currently... halfway(?) into cleaning up shot 4, and while I did want to get it done for this month to show you guys the whole thing that isn't gonna happen.
Shot 2:
Shot 3:
Next, once clean up is done, I'm going to be working on this animation a bit less so that I can make some other stuff. I know that might seem a bit backwards considering the previous problems I've listed, but my burnout really comes from being bogged down on one project for so long and instead of making one really good looking animations, I want to make "crappy" ones... and finally push forward with some original projects (even though I really want to play some games (I'm right at the end of Paper Mario TTYD) so bear with me).
My original plan was to get the animation done by October, but now I'm taking the stance of "It's done when it's done". This is really important to me as I want to start pushing to get a career in animation and this seems like the best way to get my work out there, alongside interacting with the community more (eventhough my quietness seems to extend to my online persona). As for my elbow, I've been doing stretches, exercises and wearing supports and it's feeling better, but I don't want to risk never being able to draw again so I'll still be taking it easy for some time.
That's almost everything, but I've got one more thing to share that I'm excited and nervous about:
I'm joining Artfight this year! I'll be on team Seafoam, but noboby's safe, I'll be attacking everyone and drawing as many peoples characters as I can. The characters I've put forward for other people to draw are: Mellow, Shamus, Lucy and Bruce (ignore John Travolta, I haven't submitted a fifth character). Welp, that enough from me, I know I've wrote long posts in the past but this one has gone overboard. I'll see you guys next month with more stuff, mainly Artfight and 1-hour anim probably, and hopefully my drawing arm doesn't explode!
#artists on tumblr#art#digital art#character art#digital#original art#oc character#oc artwork#oc#oc art#ocs#original character#original characters#animation#2d animation#update#burnout#health#im doing ok#way too long
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⸻ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒
topaz. he/they. 25+. multi-fandom multi-muse. makoto yuki blog.
This is a sideblog connected to the two above blogs.
canon divergent: i only take the following things as canon:
persona 3 / fes / reload / anime (willing to interact with femc but i have never played p3p and do not know the dynamics. read a bit of the mangas. someday i might play it but there are things stopping me.) I mainly follow reload as i have just finished it. there are some things i vastly prefer in other versions of the story though so i can be a little choosy.
persona 4 / golden ( i have never played golden though i do want to. i haven't played persona 4 in over ten years so my memory isn't great on it. that is why i did not put any p4 muses until i do play it.)
persona 5 / royal. All my p5 muses are based on royal and I see it as more canon than the original. That being said, my Joker is called Akira Kurusu and he is MINE. I do not follow the anime as I did not enjoy their version of him.
Meta Rules:
I am a disabled person. I go through bouts of being unable to be active or social. I have been struggling with this my entire life. I could list the things I think are important to talk about but I really don't think I have to justify things. If you want to know I will tell you. It greatly effects my ability to be social at times and my amount of energy. Please respect this. I try not to just vanish, but it can happen. I will always try to communicate when this happens. All I ask is to be treated with empathy and respect. I can say when this acts up, I can be prone to not great behaviors. I have been manipulated and hurt during these episodes. The best thing for me in these situations is to give me space. I need to protect myself during these times. I need to be alone. I am reluctant to be open because of past experiences. I know I cannot act rationally and can make stupid choices. I can become snippy or traumadump. I can allow people to walk on my boundaries during these periods. I have been manipulated multiple times to do and share things I am not comfortable with. I get incredibly anxious or hyper. The anxiety can turn into downright paranoia which is why I cannot handle vagueblogging and stuff during those times. I am not making excuses. I am just letting everyone know that I sometimes need space. I need patience. I may still write. But I will not be able to speak much ooc. It is not personal. But sometimes I just struggle. It is a struggle a lot of the time.
I try my best to tag triggers, so if you need something tagged let me know. By default I tag a lot of stuff but I can always miss things. Feel free to request.
Sexism and racism will not be tolerated, you will be blocked. If you post anything transphobic, homophobic, or biphobic, I will block YOU
I can and will block if people make me uncomfortable.
I will never write incest. EVER. If you ship adult/minor ships or condone that stuff, do not interact.
If you constantly delete/move your blogs, I might be hesitant to interact with you.
I'm queer. I am genderfluid with a masc lean. Assigned female at birth. I have a zero tolerance policy about about hate toward lgbt+ people and misogyny. I will say something to you if it seems unintentionally done. But yeah.
I am incredibly uncomfortable around much of the following fandoms: final fantasy xvi , danganronpa, and baldur's gate 3. Still willing to follow or interact but I may be hesitant.
If you are friends with Jay/JJ or interact with him at all, do not interact. In face, just block me. If you want details, you can DM me. I literally still scan every blog to see if i get even a whiff of him.
This isn't really relevant to this blog but it still needs to be said: due to personal reasons I am no longer comfortable doing smut rps.
Interaction Rules
Asks can ALWAYS be replied to. Answers are always the best way to start threads with me.
All muses are crossover friendly and OC friendly.
Do not force me to ship or smut.
I'm mutuals only.
If you are a multi-muse and send an ask or like a starter call without specifying what muse you are sending from, I won't answer. If you do not say what muse you want from me, I will probably message you to ask. I might not actually answer it though.
Shipping/Mains Rules
If you are a main or ship partner, I need to be able to kinda talk to you ooc. I only will be mains with someone who speaks with me ooc.
Mains and affiliates get priority.
If you become mains or start shipping with me and then never reply or talk to me, I'll remove you from my list. Shipping or being mains should be the start and not the end. That status is not a trophy to be put on your shelf. Exceptions can obviously be made and I'm always okay with low activity or extended breaks. I just ask for communication when possible.
I will typically not be exclusive.
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Big agree OP-
Also, adding on, I know it's in a spinoff and that it has a lot of characterization flaws but I remember the sidequest in the first Persona Q in the Evil Spirit Club labyrinth, where Yosuke said something about wanting hotpot and the girls immediately started planning to cook for him (Chie, Yukiko, Rise, and eventually Fuuka who offered to help). He could just as easily told them to stop and, failing that, just not showed up when they finished cooking - or get the MC to stop the entire cooking thing from going through as the sidequest.
But no. Yosuke went to the MC to ask them to save the hotpot. Even though that did nothing because the girls made dipping sauces anyways.
And sure, you could also argue it's because the girls (particularly the IT girls) are stubborn when it comes to cooking, and they'd hound him until he eats their cooking - especially after they painstakingly made it for him. He could also just as easily pushed the girls' dipping sauces away when they tried to give it to him.
But one thing that always stuck with me while playing Persona Q is the entire "You have to keep laughing like an idiot" scene at the final labyrinth, and the first part of the following stroll cutscene in the Persona 4 route.
The three IT girls, the ones who offered to make Yosuke hotpot, all basically agree that Yosuke has a big heart and always puts himself last. That's why they call him an idiot (though I'm not exactly a fan of how the cutscene plays out at the end, with Yosuke only hearing the part where they call him an idiot and nobody clarifying for him).
Yosuke has a big heart. He may be an asshole sometimes but he DOES care. He treats his friends to food constantly. And the girls recognizing that Yosuke wants hotpot back at the Evil Spirit Club and making it for him?
Well, considering how he was treated when he first moved to Inaba, I think the gesture is flattering to him and that he truly appreciates it - even though the end result might as well be deadly. He sees it as an act of genuine care from his friends, and he doesn't exactly want to trample all over their efforts in cooking. Hence, why he tells the MC to help the girls cook, not stop them outright.
Yosuke Hanamura & Food as a Love Language
I recently saw a post talking about how Yosuke's love language is Food, along the lines of gift giving/acts of service kind of way, with examples of "he buys other people food during social links/plot points." And not only do I agree, I'd like to add that it goes the other way, too.
[Photo ID: a screenshot of Persona 4 Golden. It is June 22nd, after school. The Protagonist, Yosuke, Kanji, & Rise stand in Marukyu Tofu, having a conversation. Yosuke says, "Hell no! I always eat what people give me." End ID.]
This specific line is actually two-fold, as well. Not only is it verbal, primary-source confirmation of my point /lh, but the surrounding context adds to it as well.
Rise: Here you go, three ganmo. That'll be 600 yen. There's extra tofu in there for everyone... A little thank-you for worrying about me. Yosuke: Whoa, seriously? Thanks! Kanji: Yosuke-Senpai, you can't eat tofu, right? Want me to take yours? Yosuke: Hell no! I always eat what people give me.
Could one interpret this as "I don't wanna turn something down in front of THE Risette, Kanji" with just as much validity? Maybe as a joke about Mystery Food X at the camping trip? Absolutely. However, I think it's much more fun to imagine this goes along with how he communicates affection for people around him. Food can be a very intimate, very human experience! It makes sense that he'd feel cared for when on the receiving end of (good) Given Food.
BONUS: Y'know what else is a subcategory of Food Love Language? Knowing & remembering what someone is allergic to.
Yosuke: Anyways, now that all those people are gone, we might as well check inside [Marukyu Tofu]. I'll buy something. Protagonist: [recommend ganmodoki] Yosuke: How'd you know I can't eat tofu? Wow, that's considerate of you. >Yosuke seems somewhat happy... (+bonus SL points)
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